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#He has such a horrible life and he still is such a good person but in a wounded animal kinda way
writerfromthestars · 2 days
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DP X DC PROMT: Happiness? In this Economy?
Dick convinces Jason to go with him to a party because he apparently "needs to socialize". At this party is also Danny, who is majoring in astrophysics at Gotham University. They run into each other, hit it off, and end up hooking up.
Danny has class in the morning, so he leaves before Jason wakes up, hurrying to get his day started and completely unaware of the fact that some of the ectoplasm he produces has seeped into Jason. (Neither of them tell each other their names, or maybe they're too hungover to remember? Idk, but they don't know each others names. It was also too dark for Jason to see Danny's face.)
Jason wakes up, wondering how the hell the cute guy from last night managed to leave without waking him up. He also feels happier than he has in a while, which he attributes to the fact that he actually had fun last night instead of scowling in the corner.
But the happiness, the calm, it just... Doesn't leave? For some reason?
At first, Jason is willing to accept that maybe the univers is just giving him a day off from the Pit Rage, God knows he's earned it, but when the end of the week is drawing closer and he's still no closer to figuring out why he's so goddamn pleasant all of a sudden, he starts to freak out.
He tracks this unnatural calm back to the party, and at first, he thinks someone spiked his drink. But the only people who were close enough to do that would be Dick, who would never do that, and his unknown, unnamed hookup.
Now, Jason isn't a very paranoid person, but he was raised during his early teens by the goddamn Batman, king of paranoia, so he immediately draws the following connections:
1. His unnamed hookup was able to roofie him without him noticing, bat training and all.
2. That drug, whatever it was, was strong enough to subdue the Pit Rage, and, seeing as it hasn't returned, that could be indefinite.
3. The only person who has ever been able to remotely control the Lazarus Pits is Ra's Al Ghul, and he still ended up a murderous sociopath, so obviously he doesn't have a good handle on it.
4. This random dude that he met at a goddamn college party may be the most powerful sorcerer in the world.
5. He need sto find this guy before she raises an undead army.
Thus, Jason finds himself in the awkward situation of explaining to his father that he may or may not have hooked up with a being more powerful than a man who runs an assassin cult and calls himself a demon.
The bats immediately begin searching Gotham for this guy, pulling out all the stops to stop this guy before they gain a new supervillain.
Meanwhile, Danny is peacefully going about his life.
Then, he runs into his one night stand and they start dating. Everything is going great for him! Moving to Gotham City was the best thing he's ever done!
Now Jason is even more panicked, because he just met this really cute guy, and now they're dating, but it's a horrible time because he's still trying to find this Eldritch creature.
Bonus ( to add to the misunderstandings):
Say Danny's trans. It's about now, a few months later, that morning sickness makes itself evident.
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devil-in-hiding · 1 day
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estranged childhood best friend Simon said he’d always be there if you truly needed him. And he meant it. As he got older though, and he became more dangerous, and more of a target, he knew for your sake that he had to cut ties.
Simon Riley died, all that was left was Ghost. And so of course he did to you what his name would suggest, he ghosts you. He cuts off all contact, he makes a vow to himself that he’ll never speak to you again, you’ll never see him again, and hopefully you’ll forget about him.
But you don’t. He never gave you a reason for his absence, and you assume the worst. You’re left believing that he KIA, that he’s gone for good. Simon loves you, he’d never cut you off. You still text him, every single day and night.
He didn’t block your number, he just never answers you. When Simon died and Ghost clawed his way out of the ashes, he got rid of everything from his old life he could. Except for one old, cracked phone. The only number left on it is yours. Even years after you assume he’s dead you keep texting him. You say good morning and good night everyday without fail, you tell him everything that happens in your life, even the smallest details. And he reads all the texts. He wants so badly to type back, to respond, but he just can’t do it. He knows he’s a dangerous man, a bad person, and you deserve better than him.
You could never move on. You could never make new friends, and you could never open yourself up to dating. Without Simon you have nothing left. Your life starts to fall apart, slowly but surely. Ghost has to watch in horror and dismay as the things you text him about shift from everyday life, to the horrible things that’s happening. When you text him about the dangerous people you owe money to though, telling him you’re going to see him soon, it’s the last straw.
“I’ll always be there, if ya really need it luv.”
well, you really need it. You need him. He didn’t want it to come to this but he knew if he didn’t help you now it would be too late. He thought he was helping you by cutting you off, but instead he may have gotten you killed.
He rushes to you, praying to a god he long since thought abandoned him. When gets to your house there’s black vans cars lined outside, the door left ajar. All sane thoughts have left his head, he just knows that you’re inside, with dangerous people, and he has to get there. And just like when he’s on the battlefield, a sense of clarity washes through him. As he makes his way through the house, slaughtering the people in his path, the people who want to hurt you, he doesn’t give them a second thought. When he finds you in the kitchen, tears staining your cheeks and blood splattered on your shirt as you lay terrified on the floor, he falls to his knees before you. He caresses your cheek softly, not caring about the blood soaking his hands.
“please… don’t hurt me.” You whimper softly, and he can’t help but laugh softly as he takes off the mask.
“I’d never hurt you luv. S’okay.” You whispers, watching the realization flash before your eyes.
“Si- Simon?” You ask, sitting up to get a better look at him. His face may be disfigured with all the scars, but you can tell it’s him.
“Not anymore.”
-🫧
i am so in love with you and your brain
you have no idea what your thoughts do to me
like
you are a work of art to me
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koralinewrites · 2 days
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Could you please do a Subaru and Ayato 60 headcanons, please? I liked Laito ones a lot.
Hey! Sorry this took a WHILE- I only have Ayato’s done right now, so I’ll definitely tag you in Subaru’s when I (eventually) get his done! Hope you enjoy!
60* Ayato Headcanons
*ish
Listens to MSI
Stupid best friend vibes
“Only I can bully them” with his brothers
Hits, flicks, smacks, etc. people as a sign of affection
Favorite color is red, duh
Both can be read like a book and is good at masking, somehow-
Very smart actually
Only for things he wants to be smart about though
Borderline dyslexic
Paints his nails every now and then 
Either black or dark red
Is ALWAYS making noise, whether that be tapping his fingers, his foot, humming, anything that makes any slight noise
Speaking of humming, he always hums HIS songs
If he’s not making noise, he’s fidgeting
Fiddling with his fingers, rubbing circles into his thumbs, playing with his clothes, etc.
Very adhd coded
Though it could easily be anxiety as well
Drinks alcohol even though he can’t get drunk from it
Sometimes challenges fellow students to drinking competitions and uses that to win
During basketball, can get distracted by the cheerleaders with bigger tits if the uniforms are revealing
Wants other piercings, like on his lip or nose
Believed in Santa Claus WAY longer than he should have
Actually really likes summer and the sun
The one thing he hates about being a vampire is that the sun hurts his vision
Otherwise he’d be outside in the sun almost all day every day
Has the lightest eyes of the brothers, and they shine bright in the sun
Back to his songs, he helps his brothers write theirs every now and then
Actually somewhat good at cooking
Now… baking is a different thing
Banned from the oven by Reiji
Actually has NO sense of style (mr. one pant leg 😭)
Dresses like Adam Sandler most of the time
Very affectionate person
Always touching his S/O in some way
Holding their hand, bumping knees, hand on thigh
Stupid teenager when in love
Does whatever he can to impress them
Might get with a guy, depends on the guy
Has thought about it
Hasn’t tried it yet
Hehe time for angst-
Still has nightmares of drowning
Sometimes just the sound of water sets him off, depending on his mental state
Genuinely is really worried about Laito’s and Kanato’s mental and physical health
Knows that his trauma was just as bad as theirs, but doesn’t feel like it all the time
Picks the skin around his nails and bites them
That’s why he started to paint his nails; to stop that habit
Hates himself for not being able to help Laito (even though he was a child-)
Forgives people really easily
Even if they were absolutely horrible to him
Doesn’t try in school as a subconscious rebellion against his mother (even though she’s dead-)
Doesn’t hate his brothers at all
Sure they can be annoying
But if he had to save either his life or his brothers…
He’d pick them
Wants to be closer to his brothers than he is now
Like back when they were children
Reminisces on that time when he’s alone
Sometimes cries because of how much he misses that feeling of closeness
Has both a superiority complex and an inferiority complex
Definition of “Oh No!” by Marina and the Diamonds
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faaun · 9 months
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Jack Marsh (2005), Friendship Otherwise - Toward a Levinasian Description of Personal Friendship
#saw carnation lily lily rose by john singer seargent irl today. it was basically at my doorstep all along idk why i never went to see it#it was placed at a corner in the gallery. me and my friend sat down and sketched the paintings of beautiful naked people quite badly. paper#provided by tate britain. she told me about how she couldnt look her boyfriend in the face after a harrowing film about war. when i say the#interview was informal i mean the person who was supposed to be my boss told me let me get you a cider and then he said after#50 years of life he knows people are inherently good and it only takes a little bit of kindness to save this world. he said he tricked#his wife into keeping the baby and then he said he quit his job at a US bank to help people find meaning and in it#he would have liked to find meaning. instead he started climbing with his friends. he said he chews his cigarettes because its a habit from#when he had to hide things from people. the entire time i felt uncomfortable and incredibly enlightened. this is my friends mentor. she has#his pattern of pauses and expletive and penchant for ends-justify-means attitude. i do think im not very clever#but maybe one day i will love you enough to make up for it. i wrote code i dont understand staring at the final error i thought about how#we both thought of how when we're too old to remember the voices of our friends we would like to stand in the pathway of the LHC beam pipe#cut it open and eat light in the freezing cold vacuum (kills you long before radiation will) the invisible puncture wound unfolding dna#back to the start larger than you ever were. you go to heaven once youve been to hell. my friend is in my bed#practicing calculations of eigenvectors by hand and she is uninterested in a visual proof you are uninterested in incompetence#we catch a train this is your kind of burden you tragic hero wincing at that word you only do this because you have to. im the only one#who can. i am a coward in this for the fucking poetry. the visual proofs. the pretty numbers. an architect who was horrible at maths wanted#to be a philosopher and accidentally ended up neck in deep in 70th Error On Visual Studio Code i want to kiss your eyes before we say#goodbye we both know there is no love in the way there should be. I still have your dress in my wardrobe. i hope you make art.#you think im alright head-wise i think you fucking hate me i think ill never be so clever you want me to tell you my idea?#if you wanted more of this world i would have liked to kiss you harder. we cant both be like this. im sorry i cant be with you the whole wa#the love is gone if you have to ask it. his breath catches his eyes feel stiff it is -1.9 kelvin he is near the beam pipe i miss holding#his hand i miss her singing voice i miss his hair and i found the antonym of pain thank you for carrying me home.
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boy in silly sitting positions compilation
#cats#I especially like the last one where he just has one single paw poking out of that box for some reason lol#I still have costumes to post and like a billion other things.... grr... constantly failing at staying active on social media aughh#I think because currently my Main Focus is on trying to get my game done and stuff.. which basically just means sitting and writing all day#so there's not much to post about. Though I know the Good At Social Media thing to do would be to post about the#writing and share progress and talk about the game and characters or whatever to try to build interest or something but that is SOOO weird#to me.. I could maybe get it if it was like a tiny tiny discord groupchat of playtesters with like 5 people in#it.. But something about talking openly about things before they happen is weird to me?? Like presumptuous feeling or something#''oooo guess whats gonna happen LATER!!!'' like.. how do you know.. what if it doesnt. what if you dont finish it. what if its not the way#you think it's going to be. what if something changes. etc. Like I literally avoid movie trailers and game trailers for the same reason ghj#Even if it's not ME doing it it just feels... weird.. Maybe it has to do with my OCD and how I just don't like talking about ''future''#things in Certain Terms. Like if I was going to say ''Oh yeah sure. come over to my house in a few months''. I would have to follow it up#with like ''HOPEFULLY you can come over to my house in a few months'' or 'They'll come over in a few months MOST LIKELY''. Because just#stating that something will happen matter of factly takes for granted like.. what if somehting horrible happens and I DONT have a house#in a few months? or what if something bad happens to me. or to the person coming over? I can't ever DEFINITELY say with 100% certainty#that one could ACTUALLY come to my house in a few months. anything could change. So I have to allot for that in my phrasing. hbjjkn#There are a lot of situations where you're expected to just Assume Things but for some reason that bothers me. My brain literally does not#even Assume the most basic things.. like how do *I* know that just because it's someones birthday that they want to be wished a happy#birthday? what if they dont? everyone is different and has different preferences. I should check with them first. or wait until they public#ly announce that theyre accepting birthday wishes. I have to allot for all 5034859069 rare possibilities at any given time and never take#anything for certain. etc. ghjbjhbh.... ANYWAY.. I have been feeling a bit sick lately as usual.. but still slowly making progress on some#things. Moslty I need to edit costume photos. make sculptures. and work on the game. Going back reading some of the old writing from like#2018 and suprisingly I don't have to change that much of it? In fact I like it mostly. so that's good. I would be very interested if I were#playing the game myself. Though that doesnt mean much since my tastes are so niche lol..#Still really want to clear some of my million tumblr drafts as well... alas and aughh and ooughh and so on and so forth. Between all of my#evil appointments other such things...why cant I have one billion dollar to retire into relaxed hermit artist life of no stressors.. bleas
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theladyfae · 7 days
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i think human nature/family of blood is a really good two parter in how it manages to show how full of shit ten is 🫶
#look . i LOVE ten . esp whatevers going on w him in s3 he's horrible and i like that#but just !! martha :(#its so incredibly unfair to martha he doesnt unleash his wrath on the Family he chooses to hide instead and okay yeah fair#and sure u can say the tardis chose the setting and time period for them to hide in but like#did that not filter in to his calculations he went through all that turned himself human put his friendship with martha to the test in#the worst way possible. knowing she wouldn't let herself leave him even if he was Abhorrent towards her (and he was) because#of her duty to the universe and beyond and whatever . to blend in and keep the Family off their tails#and she's put in a demeaning position and degraded and even he doesn't seem to care much for her but she still hangs on#and then in the end its like its all for naught. all that pain and suffering martha went through being the only one w her wits about her#he had the capacity to deal w the threat the whole time he had the ability to dole out a horrible punishment he could definitely#have dealt with them a different way than that too .#and instead in his quest to be the bigger person he ends up putting martha through the horrors and then#does the same with the Family anyway ! i dont think he can ever tell her how harshly he dealt with them#surely this isnt an original thought im just thinking Way too much about blue moon by niki#he Does care more about being good than being good to her specifically !! and its so upsetting theyre so volatile i miss them#its more complicated than that sure but at the same time. it sort of isnt .#anyway martha jones my love my life u deserved at least a billion apologies alongside the thanks like god . whats wrong w him#oh and also he wants to move on without properly talking about it . act as if it never happened#like girl be fucking considerate for ONCE she just went through a personal hell for you !!! how insanely lonely she must of been#i dont believe martha ever let him just brush past it w no acknowledgement like yes i think she definitely didnt want to discuss the#accidental confession but i Do think she would sit him down to finally get him to Accept he cant just take her wherever in the past#if he's not ready to look out for her . its a vital conversation i think they need to have otherwise martha would just walk out there#not even love could make her stay through that its been established already she has the strength to try walk away#and also to try and but through his bullshit and demand answers . and here more than ever she deserves his acknowledgement and he Knows it
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silviakundera · 3 months
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Haha I also used the dickless bore. I thought that only the two main characters came back didn't know he did as well. I still don't buy him ever being into her but that's just me I do wonder if he's going to try and kill her again. I do think Li Rong is treating him too well for my liking she should at least treat hit similarly or worse than she treated ML I want to see wet paper towel non stop suffer.
on one hand, imo a SRQ who is heartless doesn't work for the story the writer is trying to share with us. On the other hand, it's totally ok to decide to be a full-time hater towards a minor character, just because it's fun. I support haters! 🎉 \o/ 🎉
One thing that I think is relevant when comparing LR's reactions: if PWX had killed her, the motive would have been as part of his mission to have his childhood love Qin Zhenzhen's son become the next emperor. (Remember, he came over to threaten her life over that right before she died and called his ex Zhenzhen lmao) THE AUDACITY. In contrast, LR is viewing her murder at SRQ's hands as part of the revenge plan for the Su family's execution.
Some passages of Li Rong's POV:
After a few moments, she whispered: “Where did the scent on you come from?”
“If I say it, you might be upset.” Pei Wenxuan’s eyes had a hint of gloating at others’ pain.
Li Rong thought for a while and frowned, “Su Rongqing?”
“Yes.”
...Li Rong said nothing. She blankly stared into the fire.
Pei Wenxuan turned the fish over and looked at her with a smile, seemingly quite happy. Li Rong found that he had a fearless, unabashed look of enjoying a good play and couldn’t help but be a little fazed.
She believed everything Pei Wenxuan said.
---
Su Rongqing was someone that she saved with her own hands.
That year, Prince Su rebelled, and Su Rongqing’s elder brother spoke up for Prince Su. Later on, he was falsely accused of colluding with Prince Su, implicating the Su clan with treason.
At that time, Li Chuan was so furious that he fainted. He put the entire Su clan in prison without going through the Joint Trial of Three Divisions first and put the men to death and the women into exile. She disagreed with this decision and rushed to beg Li Chuan before the Su clan received their sentence. After being subjected to ten planks, with Pei Wenxuan’s intervention, she was finally able to ask for amnesty for the Su clan.
Even if the death sentences can be forgone, it was impossible to escape punishment while still alive. Even though the men of the Su clan could live, they would be subjected to castration. The others couldn’t bear the humiliation, so they all committed suicide in prison. When she arrived, there was only one man “desperate for life and afraid of death” left among the men of the Su clan, Su Rongqing.
At that time, she had told Su Rongqing that she saved him without the intention of asking him to repay her. She could give him silver and a position, so that he could continue to live a good life in the future.
Back then, she didn’t have any special feelings towards Su Rongqing. It was just that he had saved her before, so after he took care of her, bit by bit, she felt grateful, and…vague sentiments towards him.
For the most part, she sought to save the Su clan for Li Chuan and her own conscience. The Su clan was a prominent, noble family. It was difficult for her to sit back and watch if they died in such an ambiguous manner.
At that time, Su Rongqing refused to go.
...It wasn’t that she had never thought that Su Rongqing would not take revenge on her. After all, it was Li Chuan who ordered all the men of the Su clan to be beheaded and exiled all the female family members. It was impossible for anyone to forget this blood feud, let alone the formerly first and most outstanding gongzi of that year?
For so many years, she had never dared to give him real authority, observing him and guarding against him while still trying to help him live a better life. She couldn’t actually kill him because of her own conscience, but she couldn’t actually trust him and give him power.
In the end, he still decided to act. He killed her first, then successfully took her authority in the name of eliminating Pei Wenxuan. If she guessed correctly, he would not leave with the advisors. Instead, he would borrow the excuse of taking revenge for her and enforcing the will of the people to join forces with the Empress, assist Li Xin in ascension, and fight to the death against the remnants of Pei Wenxuan’s faction.
...
She had anticipated this possibility from the moment she took Su Rongqing in, but she couldn’t help feeling a bit regretful when it actually happened.
#honestly i think their relationship is quite interesting#and srq is a tragic character who just suffers 24x7 so no worries there#like just imagine: besides the horrible fate of his family#if he truly had always loved li rong#how cruel that would be#the only chance to be with her was this nightmare#and though they accompanied enough other and had some good memories#she could never trust him and could never return his feelings#and she SHOULDNT trust him#and now he sees no other path available than the one he is on#directly opposed to her and fighting on her enemys side#as he gets to watch her marry pwx again#and be increasingly affectionate together#and realize that this isnt young pwx who is too confused and insecure to have a functional marriage w lr#this is the mature adult who might actually make his beloved happy#and how to even feel about that#cdrama#the princess royal#my personal feelings about SRQ evolved a lot as the story progressed but tbh i still dont know#i feel sorry for him#i cannot sympathize with some of his politics but he is also so damaged that#like LR i guess i feel he must be opposed but i wish he could be saved#LR would say he has his reasons (and he has more reasons than she knows)#now the reveal that they are all from the future is clear#he does not come running to her to explain everything and defend himself#he isnt justifying himself#he actually isnt trying to make this all emotionally harder on her than it has to be#but also i DO consider him as someone who betrayed her#and i dont think he can have a place in her life anymore#(fwiw i get the salt about PWX murdering her: he blew up their marriage over ZZ + now warring w her at court over ZZ kid + kills her for it)
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calamitydaze · 6 months
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long tag ramble below u have been warned
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#ok i feel like i should say Something before i start being active again#but i dont want it to be a Statement which is why i’m putting it in the tags#(also bc i procrastinated doing this for weeks so i know this is a very stale topic by now#but i also haven’t been on tumblr literally at all so this is 100% my organic authentic opinion lmao)#so read if you gaf and ignore if you don’t#anyway: george def could’ve done more to ensure she was comfortable#and as someone who has also gotten in over my head with older men and regretted it#her hurt is valid and i’m deeply sorry she feels the way she does about that night#but with that said i see no reason to believe george Should have known how she really felt#or that he deliberately took advantage of either her youth/inexperience or her discomfort#and that’s the most important thing for me— he fucked up and misread a situation but that doesn’t make him an evil person#and i hope they can both move on and grow and heal#as for my future in the fandom: i honestly dunno how active i’ll be going forward#i was already becoming pretty disconnected so this might’ve just sped up the process? i’m tired of being put through the wringer#but i also don’t really have a fandom to replace this so i might just continue casually participating in the way i have been#either way rest assured i will never become a rabid anti. that shits embarrassing#i got HORRIBLE drolo rsd the other day when tommy’s mom needed clout and vagued him so like if nothing else. droloisms are forever#also as a last thing— this feels kinda silly and self centered to say but i will anyway#sorry for not opening up my blog as a forum for discussion again the way i did with the drituation#i know i helped a lot of people sort out their feelings and that was (and is) really really important to me#but it also tanked my mental health (mostly as a result of the fallout and not the act itself but still)#plus my life irl was pretty stressful at the time when everything was first going down#so i just didn’t feel up to putting myself through that again#but i’m sorry if anyone wanted to discuss w me but wasn’t able to#anyway. i think that’s all i have to say!#i don’t want to turn this into a capital D discussion but as always my askbox and dms are open#love you all tons! i hope you’re having a good day 🫂🫶#bella talks
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hecksupremechips · 6 months
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Honestly though I think it’s really a bad sign when I look at Shin Tsukimi and literally feel like he’s a self insert 😩
#the klock keeps ticking#yttd#i wanna replay yttd so bad but i also like Gotta play other stuff with the time i have akskks#but yeah the brainrot this specific character has given me idk if I ever really talked about it but it was BAD#i like obsessively played the game in like 3 days and it was not a good idea lol but just like shin#i had to take like a week to recover from this guy cuz i couldnt stop thinking about him and how hes just like me fr#first off just the very inconsistent personality hes got going on that is very me he has these different personalities he wears to cope with#all the traumatic shit happening hes both so helpless its comical and so manipulative its terrifying#and idk its really interesting how like good and bad he is at being manipulative like hes very smart and can analyze weaknesses and lie so#good not even he knows the truth but hes also grasping at straws he doesnt think things through at all#like the second main game he just didnt prepare at all hes fumbling his way through everything its going so bad#he just wants to go home he wants to outdo the game makers but hes being used by them so bad he wants it to STOP#and its just the way that like. it hits so hard cuz you know hes really not a bad person not at all he doesnt want any of this hes just#being horribly manipulated and doing whatever he can to survive but its also really scary how#well hes able to lie and manipulate and claw his way through but hes also weaker than a grade schooler#and you never forget that either and as much as he cheated his way through he still failed it was all just a cheap trick in the end#and all of this hits very hard like his personality is eerily similar to mine and just the way he thinks and acts#cuz im the same like im weak and a dweeb who likes funny cats but im also emotionally detached and observant and selfish#but where it hits the hardest is his relationship with midori like oooof that one was too real just like#the first person who was ever his friend was horribly abusive and treated him like a child and didnt respect any boundaries#and he just got sick pleasure out of seeing shin be upset and he was like. a groomer#and shin was fucking relieved when he died but also kept his scarf and adopted his personality to survive#and still goes by sou after ch2 and the scene that gets me the most is when shin ai is asked about his relationship with midori#and you can just SEE how horrified shin is because his deepest shame his abuse is being shared to everyone without his consent#and hes reliving it all in that moment and literally seeing who he used to be experiencing the abuse#he just curls into himself and like covers his ears and pulls his hair thats literally what i do AAAAAA#im just so grateful for the direction they took this character kokichi ouma wishes he was shin tsukimi so bad#and yeah just like damn. its scary how similar i am to shin like damn i really am going through it huh oof#I LOVE HIM I LOVE HIM I WILL DEFEND HIM WITH MY LIFE HE DID ALL OF THAT STUFF YOUR HONOR BUT LISTENNNN#have you considered that hes cute and smart and weird and maybe just needs friends who arent assholes
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enjolrasofficial · 1 month
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#when you feel yourself falling headfirst into a depressive episode bc of all the bad stuff that's been happening in the last months and all#you wanna do is talk to your best friend about it but you can't bc your best friend cut you out of their life bc their new partner told them#that you're a crazy person who's bad for her and convinced them to stop being your friend and your just miss her#and you miss her and you miss her and you miss her and knowing you could be dead right now or could be dead in a month or a year or in 40 or#or 80 years without her even knowing or caring hurts it hurts like someone cut of a part of your limb and when you talk to people you#sometimes still make your inside jokes and no one will understand them and it will hurt again like the first moment she betrayed you and#told you all the bad stuff she know believes of you and then you'll remember this has all happened before and you were a fool for trusting#them again after what had happened the first time but you did and the hurt never stops bc she was your best friend for so long and you two#thought you were soulmates once and you apparently were not and now it hurts still and every time something good or bad or very bad happens#you wanna talk to her and tell her and you wonder how they are doing but he cut you out and told you horrible things and accused you of#terrible stuff that you didn't even understood where it came from and you know you can never be friends again bc you know there's no way#you will ever be able to trust her again but you wonder#you wonder how his life has been going and she's happy and if they're health and whether they think about you too sometimes#and sometimes you're scared for her bc all has been scratchy and you know nothing about what even happend and you suspect he's in an abusive#situation but you don't know bc they blocked you everywhere even duolingo and goodreads and she deleted her tumblr which she didnt last time#and when you were at the hospital every second of every minute of every day your fingers itched to text her about your terrible roommate and#when you were there again they itched to call her bc you were so scared but that will never happen again and now that all the bad stuff has#happened you kno lw you can deal on your own and you're strong enough to do it but it still hurts and will it ever stop?
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galedekkarios · 9 months
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is gale actually the worst guy alive or do people just have personal issues that give them a complex whenever someone else is a master of their craft and confident about it 🤔 hmmmmmmm
#im sorry but i literally never found him to be abrasive bc yes an archmage and chosen of mystra and wizard and the designated Lore Dumper#is going to be more knowledgeable than you and that's fine LMAO#and him knowing abt the tadpoles isn't him being an arrogant know it all it's just him letting the character know what's at stake#and also the others given that some of them don't know that or feel pressured to act (see: astarion and wyll)#and re the sorc vs wizard stuff.. again... someone that has to go to school and study the art Is going to#be more learned and well read than someone that doesn't#someone that was an archmage and lover to magic itself and a child prodigy etc etc IS going to#know more like . cope#i just never found him to be horrible or as annoying as people say bc i don't take offense to confidence or prowess or info dumpers?#early access is a different beast. but official release gale? the guy who shares crazy life stories every time? and is trying#to bond with your character every chance he gets? and who doesn't admonish your character if you fail to channel#the weave and instead is a good enthusiastic teacher to your character? who has a reasonable reaction to your character#not taking him seriously and is super appreciative when they do? like. L + skill issue + get over yourself + it's really not tht serious#+ i'm telling tara + i'm also telling morena + smiting you smiting you smiting you smiting you smiting you smi#this dude was mentored by magic itself. he was taught by magic itself. he made love and was ''loved'' by magic itself. he was its chosen.#he was in contact with legendary wizards by the age of eight. he cast a spell using blackstaff. he was conjuring things#as early as a toddler. if his early access prowess is still canon then this dude was able to lift entire buildings#and battle beholders super easily and after the game he rebuilds half the city using his magic.#and so on and so forth like i'm sorry to say but gale really is that bitch and he's not an awful person for Knowing that and trying to#make that known so that he can have a purpose in the group like. hello. for the love of god hello whats not clicking 😭#and i'm not saying he's a humble precious bean i'm just saying that final release gale can be pompous and puffs himself up#but it's not like there's no merit to what he's saying LMAO#🤦‍♀️ anyway.
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vulturevanity · 11 months
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The people who complain about Natsuki DDLC's grumpiness wouldn't survive watching a single Haruhi episode
#been thinking about the show post-binge and I actually really like Haruhi's toxicity and why it developed#she's exactly what would happen if a 7-year old had a mid-life crisis#of course she's angry at everything. she's still a hormonal teen who thinks she's insignificant and wants to change that#normal teen angst#it just so happens that she also has literal godlike powers and people have to walk on eggshells around her so she won't blow up reality#which is why she can't be called out for her horrible behaviour#and why it's such a shock to her when Kyon gets so mad he tries to punch her#she cannot conceive of him not going along with her. that's unthinkable. he always complained but he was her most reliable follower#she's a horrible person because no one ever confronted her about it. that's all#and sometimes she managed to do something nice and every time people thanked her for it she was like “??????”#she's so used to being served unconditionally that she doesn't recognize the joy of being actually rewarded for her actions#i fucking love haruhi man. i would hate her if she was real but she's such a good unlikeable character#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya#meanwhile Natsuki is lashing out due to being an abuse victim and basically drops the act pretty fast in both acts#i also like Natsuki but for different reasons#she doesn't recognize just how badly her situation has warped her#she's hurt and curling up into herself and biting every hand that comes close because she doesn't know if it'll hurt her this time too#and sometimes she hurts others and spirals into self-hatred and “why am i like this? ehy is this so hard? am i the problem?”#it's so sad#doki doki literature club
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bidokja · 2 years
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"han yoohyun sucks as a younger brother" i have not said this phrase in years, like literally years, but how about you meet me in the fucking pit
#ky speaks#ANGER. RAGE.#EITHER THAT PERSON HAS ONLY READ LIKE HALF THE FIRST ARC OF THE SERIES AND HAS A STICK UP THEIR ASS THINKING THEYVE GOT IT ALL FIGURED OUT#OR THEY KNOW ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER AND ARE BEYOND SAVING (AND DEFINITELY STILL HAVE A STICK UP THEIR ASS)#'yoohyun is a bad person' he never did anything wrong ever in his life actually#listen i know i also didnt have a favorable first impression of him but 1) that was legit years ago and im so much more fun about media now#2) him coming off as a willful crazy ass is like. that is the POINT *and* the APPEAL you need to fOLLOW THESE CHARACTERS ON THEIR JOURNEY#AND ACCEPT WHEN STUFF IS REVEALED THAT RECONTEXTUALIZES LITERALLY EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM#also even when i thought he was horrible 1) i didnt hate him 2) he was STILL one of the most compelling characters in the whole series#die mad about it hyh haters#EDIT: LMAO APPARENTLY THEY DROPPED THE SERIES 100 CHAPTERS IN NO WONDERRR they'll literally Never get it#tho imo 100 chapters is still enough for you to understand hyh is the most little brother ever if youre paying attention but :^) whatever#like. idk theres plenty to go off of to Know he's got more going on than some surface level fixation come on now#also bringing up if hes a 'good' little brother in a poll that is not about whether the younger sibling is a 'good' younger sibling or not.#Okay. *rolls eyes*#tbc im not faulting them for dropping the series its not for everyone im being a hater cause theyre acting like they know our boy smdh
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makedamnsvre · 1 year
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there are things abt me that i dont talk about not because im being secretive i either just forget to mention it or think no one wants to hear about it but i think it gives like important context to whats wrong with me 💖
#me when im a child of a messy divorce because my dad has crazy issues that he never got help for so he started self medicating#and dealt with addiction and got to the point of stealing money or trying to return items he never bought to walmart for a refund#and got arrested many times and eventually spent 5 years in prison which literally didnt help at all just gave him more trauma and#caused relationship issues between him and his family which left him without healthy connections and support and#then he got accused of a crime even my mom doesnt believe he did and she'd experienced horrible things from him while they were together#and so he disappeared to run from the police and hes been legally considered a missing person for many years now and it is unknown to#us or any of his family members if hes even still alive out there somewhere and ive had dreams that he comes back and#i wonder if theres something that could be done something that could help him maybe we could never truly be on good terms again but#maybe at least he could have a chance at a decent life even if its away from us#i used to sit on the couch with him and watch nascar and monster trucks when i was little#and i still have some of his nascar novelty items in my desk drawer and the pocket tool that used to be his.#the scars of his tantrums are still in our house the holes he punches in walls covered up with copy paper taped over the wall#and im sure i have the same anger issues or whatever disorders he never got properly diagnosed for because i seem to have inherited everyth#ng from him his eyes his face his hair his anger issues even his handwriting somehow#and he is why im scared of ever doing any drugs because i just know im probably genetically predisposed to addiction just like him#and i dont want that to happen to me#recently i cut my hair and i looked in the mirror and i looked just like him#when i visit my paternal grandparents and aunts and uncles i see the family photos with him hanging on the walls#and i see that large painting that used to be in our house#👍
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Rewatching the light in the hall
because the amount of time I think about Joe Pritchard is embarrasing really
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lilgynt · 1 year
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my dad called me his guardian angel and that i have more patience than my mom and i know i told myself he just says shit but like that actually helped cause same day he was like i do not want to be alone with you and ur crazy so like. that did help a lot!
#personal#he doesn’t mean it and apologizes when his mind comes back to him but like#still good to remember during the bad moments#and this will sound horrible but#it’s not bad. per say.#when he says the nice stuff#but sometimes i do get an uncomfortable spike of anger#it’s like he says stay with me don’t leave help me or calls me nice names like guardian angel or something else#and it’s a flash of anger like im not made for you i don’t exist just for you#and obviously he doesn’t mean that#but hearing that from the guy you’re basing ur whole life around for the past few months#who due to things out of his control and frankly some of his own nature can get pretty nasty#and god im pretty sure it’s just the demita and anxiety but he’s so needy#like my mom can’t get any sleep or space around him#and my dads acting like their married with all aspects and my moms allowing it bc she has her own complicated feelings on the matter#but mostly for him so that’s cool to watch in real time#also watching the stats of how marriage benefits men and not women while my dead sucks the life out of my mom#like he doesn’t mean to but he doesn’t let her relax sleep eat anything like she took a week off work to clean the house & take care of him#and not to martyr my mother cause love her sympathize with her she is still. her.#but no one deserves what she’s going through and i will never have a bad word to say about how she acted during all of this#other things? fuck yeah but this no she handled it like a saint#and she’s been treating me better too so that’s nice#but anyway so fucking needy. i can hear them talking rn bc my dad wakes my mom up to reassure himself#i mean last night i was with him for five hours never left and if i did i warned him. he goes to bed. wakes up screaming my name#not his fault he wants to be reassured but jesus#i mean you go to the kitchen or bathroom from the living room and he says hurry back and interrupts you mid wipe#i’m a little spoiled bc he lets me go to my room some days but my mom doesn’t have any luck#he should get better with meds hopefully#and then worst of all you’ll#okay literally stopped typing bc my dad wouldn’t let my mom sleep and she freaked 😭😭😭 i talked him into just laying down but for how longuh
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