#He can at least hold out a bit longer than before now that his atms have a bit of definition 😩

[thatonegayship]

Is Dipper strong because he keeps wrestling with Bill?

I wouldn't say that wrestling Bill is his main form of exercise. However, it does give him motivation to pick up Stan's old barbells. Can't let that demonic loser completely overwhelm him all the time. (He remains overwhelmed. Bill cheats.)

[professorsnape394]

Day 9: Morning Sex

Pairing: Severus Snape x OC

Rating: 🥵

Prompt: Morning

Summary: Y/N wakes up Severus in the best way possible.

A/N: I'll get these out as quick as I can, life's just been crazy atm. Hope you're all enjoying them so far.

Warnings: Sex. Unprotected Sex. Male oral (receiving).

Word Count: 1442

Credits to Gif Creator

“Morning, Sunshine.”

Severus eyes fluttered open to the sight of his beautiful wife smiling lazily at him.

“Good morning.” Severus grumbled in response, barely awake.

The tired wizard, sleepily pulled his wife to his chest, closing his eyes once more.

“Don’t even think about going back to sleep, you.”

“I’m tired.” He whined, holding her tighter.  

Of course, Y/N knew the reason he was so exhausted this morning, the two of them had been up to all hours of the night pleasing one another relentlessly. Unfortunately for Severus his wife was not yet satiated. Now fully awake, Y/N was ready for another round with her husband; morning sex had always been a favourite of hers. Her silky bare legs brushed against Severus’ tangling themselves together with his. Despite refusing to reopen his eyes, other parts of Severus’ body were beginning to awaken.

“What are you up you.” He questioned; his words muffled by his pillow.

“Nothing.” Y/N feigned innocence.

The woman continued to tease the Potions Master, her naked form curling around his hard body, her hands roaming curiously.

No longer interested in fighting off his wife’s advances, Severus lay flat on his back and allowed her to entertain herself while he savoured a few more seconds of shut-eye.

Y/N felt her way down her husband’s chest, fingers rubbing circles over the surface of his skin. She kissed his cheek hoping to elicit some kind of response. Nothing. She nipped her way down the length of his neck. Nothing. She bit his earlobe, a little harder than usual. Nothing. She let her hands travel to the waistband of Snape’s boxers…

Severus opened one eye.

“Are you going to tease me all day, or are you actually going to do something about it.” The wizard gestured to the tent he had created in his underwear.

Y/N smirked widely.

“Whatever you want, my love.”

Her slim hand dipped beneath his waistband. His cock was already rock solid when she wrapped her fingers around him.

A satisfied hiss escaped Severus at the feel of her cold hands around him.

The pair made eye contact before the witch disappeared beneath the blanket, positioning herself between her partner’s legs.

A few pumps of his cock had Severus’s head flopping back against his pillow, relaxing into her touch. He was satisfied to lie there and appreciate the woman’s generosity, until he felt the softness of her tongue flatten against his head. Taking her sweet time, Y/N swirled her tongue sensually around the tip of his penis, lighting up every last nerve.

A guttural groan rumbled from Severus’ throat and without warning the thick feather-down duvet was thrown off of her, leaving her bare body exposed to the chilliness of the bedroom. A layer of goosebumps formed over her skin, heightening her already reactive senses.

“I want to see your face when you take me down your throat.” He stated firmly.

On cue Y/N locked eyes with her husband, taking the rest of him into her mouth. It was always a challenge at first. The utter size of him was intimidating to say the least, but with enough lubrication and sheer willpower Y/N was eventually able to take all of him, even if it meant a few gags along the way. She was sure Severus secretly got off on making her gag, and she knew for certain he loved it when she was sloppy with him.

Keeping her eyes fixed to Snape’s, Y/N allowed a drop of saliva to fall from her mouth, using it to assist her in swallowing the rest of his shaft. Feeling the tip hit the back of her throat, Severus let out a strangled moan.

“Fuckkk.”

Y/N couldn’t help but smile around him, she loved getting verbal reactions from him like this. A man usually so stoic, reduced to a primal state from nothing but her touch. It made her feel so powerful.

“Shhh.” She soothed him, sliding him out of her mouth with a pop. “Just relax.”

Severus was now practically sitting up right, the muscles in his stomach tightening from the sensation of her mouth. Y/N pushed gently on his chest, forcing him back into a lying position.

Done with easing him into it, Y/N began bobbing her head, taking every inch of Severus in and out with each movement. Picking up the pace, Y/N hollowed out her cheeks and relaxed her throat completely. Severus’ hands flew into her mass of hair, gradually putting a slight amount of pressure onto the back of her head, until he was practically fucking her face.

“You look so fucking beautiful with my cock in my mouth.” He panted breathlessly, thrusting up into her throat.

Having no other ability to respond, Y/N hummed appreciatively around his dick, sending a series of vibrations up his shaft. Severus shivered and moaned again in response. The feeling of his wife’s tongue running along the singular vein on his dick was Snape’s breaking point.

“Stop.” He panted, tugging on the roots of her hair. “Unless you want me finish down your throat, you need to stop right now.”

Y/N pulled herself off of him, letting tendrils of saliva string between her lips and the head of his cock.

“That was kind of the idea.”

“And leave you unsatisfied? I don’t think so.” Now more awake than ever, Severus sat up against the headboard of the bed. “Get up here.”

Not one to disobey, Y/N left her crouching position between his legs, and moved to straddle her husband’s hips, placing her hands on his shoulders for balance.

Severus fisted his dick in a tight grip, lining himself up perfectly with her entrance. Despite not being touched by either herself of Snape, Y/N was now dripping wet; the slickness of her cunt already leaking onto her thighs.

Severus ran the tip of his cock through her folds, focusing on rubbing tiny circles around her clit, teasing them both endlessly.

“Please.” Y/N breathed. “Please Severus, I need you.”

Unlike her husband it didn’t take long to become a quivering mess. Already she was begging for more before they even had a chance to really begin. 

Never wanting to disappoint his wife, Severus eased himself into her, allowing her time to adjust to his size and girth.

“God, you feel amazing.” He gasped, welcoming the warmth of her tight pussy around him.

Y/N was unable to speak, focusing solely on lowering herself down his entire length.

Usually keen to dominate in the bedroom, Y/N expected Severus to take charge as soon as she was seated comfortably. Snape, however, had other ideas.

“Go ahead, Darling. Show me what you can do.” The wizard smirked, folding his arms behind his head and leaning back.

Y/N’s cheeks flushed red under the intensity of his gaze. It was easy to feel intimidated by her husband, it was something she never quite managed to overcome. Only now, she revelled at the chance put on a show for him.

Still using his shoulders as leverage, Y/N fell into a steady pace, pumping herself up and down his cock over and over until the two of them were left gasping for breath on the brink of climax.

Knowing she was seconds away from cumming, with Severus undoubtably following shortly behind, Y/N leaned into her husband’s grasp, capturing his mouth with her own.

Waiting for no permission, Severus instantly stuck his tongue into his wife’s mouth, moaning contentedly as their tongues inter-twined.

“I can’t hold off anymore.” She huffed against his mouth, gasping for breath.

“Go on, Darling. Cum for me.”

On Severus command, the sound of his velvet-like voice send Y/N over the edge. Her pussy pulsated, clenching Severus over and over again until he too could not longer fight his orgasm off.

“Oh Fuck.” His words were shaky, as was his body. His muscles tensed, and his fingertips dug deep into the flesh of her hips, forcing her body to still while he emptied himself inside her. With a few last pumps Severus settled inside of her, his seed now spilling out of her hole, coating the two of them in the sticky substance.

The pair collapsed into each other; Y/N onto Snape’s chest, and Severus onto the bed beneath him. They lay as still as they could for as long as they could, before Severus found the energy to run his fingers through Y/N’s dark locks, planting a series of small kisses along her forehead.

“So… breakfast?” He offered.

“Only if you’re cooking.” She grumbled into his chest, the thought of getting out of bed so much less appealing than before.

“Anything for you, my darling.” Severus smiled contentedly.

[angelsandemons]

𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐆𝐒 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐑𝐈𝐓𝐄 𝐌𝐘 𝐌𝐔𝐒𝐄!

whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood — pick 10 songs you find to give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write for your muse!

tagged by: @hells-greatestdad

I probably did this before but I just saw you do it with explanations for each song and I love that so...of course I'm doing this for Bill. He's probably the only one I have 10+ songs for atm, and I have at least one new one since I last did this sort of thing for him.

Am I Wrong? by Nico & Vinz

This song has made me think of Bill's younger years for a while. However, my feelings and thoughts about it have changed a bit since The Book of Bill came out and gave us some more information about his early life in Eucylida. For one thing, it would be more appropriate if the song said "trying to reach the things that I can see" instead of "can't see." But since Bill was the only one who could see them, the same sentiment kind of still applies. Another cool change is around the lines "Am I trippin' for having a vision? My prediction, I'ma be on top of the world." With what we know now, combined with my headcaons around this new canon, we have a whole new new literal layer of meaning on top of the earlier figurative one. Because he truly did want to find a way to be "on top" of his world in a way that defied all logic and reason.

2. ECHO by Crusher P and Gumi English

This song has been near and dear to me in relation to Bill for years too, but like the previous one, it's changed meaning since the revelations The Book of Bill gave us. It's role in Bill's narrative still stays largely the same in that it speaks to the fall of Euclydia. The song starts out with saying "The clock's stopped ticking forever ago, how long have I been up? I don't know." Time and space completely unraveled in the aftermath of the incident in his home dimension, and being the sole survivor, Bill was left in a very strange place psychologically. This leads directly into "I can't get a grip but I can't let go" and "there wasn't anything to hold onto, though." Bill was in a space that was no longer quite space, a time that was no longer quite time, and no means to process any of it. The next few lines about not being able to see colors and wanting to be "colorful and free," still hold true to me, since I refuse to believe that Euclydia had color the same way we do. The main difference is that Bill could see more colors than others from the very start (though certainly not as many as he saw later on in life). So he didn't want to see it so much as be it, become a star in the sky that he spent so much time looking at. This comes into play later with "No I just can't let go, born to be colorful." Anyway, as the lyrics continue, they go right back into Bill's experience with the incident, from "What the hell's going on? Can someone tell me please!" to "I'm gonna burn my house down into an ugly black" and "I'm gonna run away now and never look back." Here again, the main difference from before is that Bill did not intentionally destroy his dimension, so it all...feels a bit different. No less relevant to me, just different. Finally, "my enemy's invisible, I don't know how to fight" is more about the psychological damage he took from this event and how ill-equipped he was to "fight" it or process it. Especially when he's up against his own self, his own past, the "echo in the mirror."

3. Raise Your Glass by P!nk

Once Bill left the remains of his home dimension behind, he began collecting misfits from across interdimensional space to be part of his crew. Life became one big party, all day every day. It was as much a celebration of freedom as it was a way for Bill to reframe his outlook and start to see himself as a liberator of fellow "freaks."

4. Blow by Kesha

This song is covers the other main aspect of this stage in Bill's life, and that's the inherent destructiveness of the parties and the darker side of Bill's specific brand of "liberation." The start of the song, "back door's cracked, we don't need a key" is also very reminiscent of how Weirdmageddon started in the show too, which is fitting since I think Weirdmageddon was very much the final party of his liberator era.

5. Comfort Zone by Jorge Rivera-Herrans

Pretty much the entire second half of this song is relevant to Bill (though I'm sure he too would yeet a baby off a tower if given the chance). I believe that pretty much every sentiment Perimedes' expresses here largely his way of coping with the horrors of war. Bill has a similar way of coping that originates from his role in the fall of Euclydia. It's also why the break up with Ford was so devastating to him; he did let himself care, he let himself get attached. And he had no defenses for rejection on that level. The silly little filters Jay put over this reel actually made it more Billcore than it was already.

6. Dark Horse by Katy Perry

This has always been a very Bill song, not just in relation to BillFord (though it's most relevant to that), but any of his partners across the ages, romantic or not (more often NOT romantic). Because Bill very much as an MO when it comes to his "trying to get someone on Earth to build him a portal." He finds someone who is in a vulnerable place, tries to "woo" them, so to speak, get them to agree to help him. Of course, Bill himself doesn't give his would-be partners anywhere close to the warning Katy Perry gives in this song. In fact, part of his whole game is that they don't know what they're falling for.

7. Blank Space by Taylor Swift

While this one is more overtly a "Crazy ex seeks new relationship" song, I once again thing this applies just as much to Bill's platonic relationships with humans throughout the ages. Bill has an ever growing track record of people recording warnings about him, from the prophecy in the early times to the entire society built around preventing amassing more victims.

8. Immortals by Fall Out Boy

This one is like, crazy appropriate for Gravity Falls as a whole, to the point that someone made an AMV for it years ago. But I think most of the song could actually be applied to Bill specifically. The biggest Bill line is probably the very first though, "They say we are what we are, but we don't have to be."

9. Primadonna Girl by Marina

This whole song, both in lyrics and vibe, is wildly applicable to Bill. It's so applicable, in fact, that Primadonna Bill was made as a parody of it. And some of the lyrics just flat out remain unchanged even in that version. Interestingly, one of the lyrics the parody did change is what I believe to be the most relevant to Bill in the original: "you say that I'm kinda difficult, but it's always someone else's fault." Because that really does sum up a lot of his more maladaptive coping.

10. Look What You Made Me Do by Taylor Swift

This song has been associated with Bill and Ford for years now, but it usually paints it as coming from the perspective of Ford. This is fine, but I actually think the song is equally as applicable when flipped, because from Bill's perspective, he was betrayed just as much. Heck, it might even be MORE applicable if we focus on the second verse of the song, particularly the part about being "locked out." The refrain too, comes back to the "it's someone else's fault" mindset that is so prevalent with Bill. And of course, there is the "I don't trust nobody and nobody trusts me" line that just sums up Bill so nicely.

Tagging: @pine-dexter, @wintersovereign, @doublejango, @nebula-gaster, @lettherebemonsters, @crimsonsharked, @botanikos, @heavensxgates, @yellingmetatron, @widdlestwucifer, and literally ANYONE else who wants to, please tag me I want to see it.

[fromtenthousandfeet]

I don't understand the need for that documentary. What will it show? Don't get me wrong, but he just did what he was told to do. I think the behind-the-scenes are on YouTube, right? I think so, so what will it show? Because unlike Jimin, JK wasn't so involved in his album. He can do whatever he wants, but why now? They are supposed to focus on Jimin; his album comes out this week, and they do everything but promote it properly.

Good questions! Of course none of us know yet (and I'll never know because I'm not going to that documentary), but I have some thoughts.

Cross Selling!

I got carpal tunnel scrolling through all of my damn posts to find this entry. Let's start here:

Many other producers, song writers, and artists were involved in the making of Golden, and my assumption is that they all have some sort of relationship with Scooter Braun. The album was a way to move funds out of HYBE and into the pockets of major players in the western music biz. Latto is the perfect example. She was hardly a household name here in US. Maybe among rap fans, but not to the general public. Now she holds the title of being featured (and a song writer!) on the fastest song in the history of Spotify to hit 1 billion streams. Not bad for a previous artist only known in niche circles. I'm sure she made quite a bit of money both for the feature but also with royalties given the absurd number of streams SEVEN has.

So when I say the film may be used for cross selling, I mean it might focus as much or more on the featured artists on Golden than Jungkook himself. Basically, use the documentary to hype up and promote Scooters friends and clients in the industry.

He's a Sex Symbol God Damn It!

You're absolutely right that they can't possibly focus the recording process, at least not too much, because what is there to show?

I'm sure we'll get lots of rehearsal footage that shows the great relationship JK had with the dancers and choreographers. This will help plant the idea that Jungkook is a professional, independent artist without the need for BTS.

There will be performance footage.

But mostly, I think they are going to push the sex symbol agenda very hard. Because what else is there? There's no substance to Golden or Jungkook himself beyond following directions. The company is definitely after a fandom who will lust after his muscles, tattoos, and piercings, not his artistry. This documentary is the perfect opportunity to highlight those attributes.

Okay, why announce it now during Jimin's MUSE promo period? And why release the travel show right now, too? I think this is a strategy on HYBE's part to make sure any jump in the stock price can be attributed to multiple factors - like the new show and the impending documentary - not just on Jimin's album an potential success on the BB charts. Honestly, I think that's why they're rolling out a ton of stuff right now. But! It hardly matters because the stock price just continues to fall.

Will the stock price see a spike when WHO is released? I don't know, but so far none of the BTS solo projects this year have made a dent in the declining stock price. On January 2nd of this year, the stock price was 241,500 KRW, yesterday it closed at 189,700 KRW. If I were Bang and the board of directors, I'd be nervous. Is it possible that BTS are no longer the revenue generators they used to be? It will be more than a year before they put out new music or go on tour. Will fans still be the ATM machines they once were at the end of next year?

I think we'll see 2nd quarter financials around the end of the first week of August. What if ADOR was more profitable in Q2 than Big Hit? That would look very bad to the public and to investors alike. Big Hit may be releasing so much right now because they're desperate.

[inkwolvesandcoffee]

What I would not give to have these men working at the company. So fancy me this;

The Bondurant Boys in the IT business and Forrest starting to crush on you when you meet at your first ever quarterly meeting.

TH Masterlist

Inspired by my life atm & tonight’s events.

- You’re talking with your fellow trainees, the sole woman among six other men.

- In fact, you’re one of the few at the quarterly meeting.

- Nevertheless, they’re nice and have taken you in as one of them. You’re not simply ‘the girl in the group’.

- All of you are a bit hesitant to just walk up to the (mostly unfamiliar) faces, sticking together while eating and sharing drinks.

- Fortunately, however, there are plenty of spontaneous colleagues to go around who are more than happy to meet the new trainees.

- For example, Jack Bondurant. He smoothly walks up to your little group to introduce himself, ask how you’re doing, and how the traineeship is going.

- His eye immediately falls on you because it’s still rare to see a woman in a mostly male environment.

- As he’s telling you all about his function (data analysis), you notice he’s, well, only talking to you. It’s like the others aren’t there.

- It isn’t long before two sturdy men walk up behind him to join in.

- One of them slings his arm around Jack’s shoulders and leans on him. “Well, well, well, so these are the young ‘uns. It’s good to see some fresh blood.”

- He, too, notices you. Immediately he rights himself and extends his hand. “It’s not often we see a lady in the field. Howard Bondurant, ma’am. I give the Mendix training.”

- Howard nods at the other man with piercing blue eyes and dressed in a cardigan who’s quietly observing the conversation. “And this here is Forrest, our business analyst. You’ll get a training from him soon too, won’t they?”

- Forrest remains silent, attention focused on you. After a shove against the shoulder by his colleague, he clears his throat, nods and grunts in acknowledgement.

- It’s only when one of your fellow trainees cuts in with a question, the three men seem to realize it isn’t just you and them.

- But while Jack and Howard easily revert their focus back to the group, you continue to sense Forrest’s gaze resting upon you and his proximity.

- He doesn’t stalk you to the buffet or anything, but he at least proposes going to grab food together once and hands you a bottle of beer to drink while watching the rest.

- Throughout the evening, he says very little if anything at all. However, when he does, it’s to pull you within the walls he’s surrounded by. The conversation is between you two only.

- It’s fair to say, though, he kinda keeps you for himself as much as he can by staying close and asking the occasional question simply so he can chat with you a little longer.

- When you announce you should leave to catch the train and be home at a decent time, Forrest proposes walking you to the central station.

- Confused and fearing it would be impolite to decline, you accept his offer and wish everyone a lovely weekend.

- As you throw one last look over your shoulder at your fellow trainees and soon-to-be-colleagues, you notice Jack’s looking a little heartbroken while Howard harbours a knowing grin on his blunt face.

- Not a word is exchanged as you navigate your way through the streets clouded in the dark customary of a winter evening. Yet, it’s comfortable, there’s no pressure to talk nor the wariness that comes with meeting strangers.

- However, as soon as you reach the station plaza, it becomes clear Forrest isn’t simply escorting you.

- “Thank you, mister Bondurant. I’ll be fine from here on out.”

- You nod in gratitude at the business analyst and make to leave when he grabs your sleeve. Puzzled and shocked by the action, your gaze frantically flits from the warm big hand now holding your arm and the man you just met.

- “Call me Forrest and… get home safe. I’ll see you next week.”

- He lets go, turns around, and storms off in the direction you came from with his hands tucked in the pockets of his coat.

- You’re not quite sure whether you saw it correctly in the dim artificial lights peeping through the dusk, but you could swear his cheeks were rosy.

- And not because of the cold.

Tag list: @buttercup32sstuff @potter-solomons @hecatemoon87 @ilovemanypeople @zablife @liliac-dreamer @vir-tual @alikaheroes

[nazumichi]

hiiiii i’m so so sorry but i haven’t been able to stop thinking about the thing you said about zukka miscommunication and how their miscommunication is more “we are both very aware that there are things wrong here and we are growing farther apart every time we try to ignore it but maybe we can hold out a little longer and pretend not to see it because it’s scarier to imagine what would happen if we didn’t find a way out of this” than anything and imagine if zuko’s last resort (instead of like. talking about it because he’s scared of what i said could happen) was propose to sokka because he does want to marry sokka but mostly he does it because he thinks maybe marriage can fix that rift between them. and then after he’s carved a betrothal necklace and proposes, sokka just can’t do it because he doesn’t think he’s ready for the consequences that would come with being out to the public AND he’s scared that this means zuko wants him to stay in the fire nation and sokka can love zuko but he can’t love the fire nation and he runs off

hi i love u btw 🥰🥰

[id: a cropped tweet that reads with multiple key smashes and crying emojis, image attached below a larger crying emoji. end id.]

VEEEEE. YEAH (omg wait u thought abt something i said abt ur blorbos holy shit 😳😳) like of course they care for each other and want you know. each other. so zuko’s desperate scramble to ensure that is proposing, he’s pulling out all the stops, they can be perfect and they can be happy once they’re married, gotta overpass this hurdle!!!

hes conning himself with that idea, “once we’re married we’ll be fine again, gotta ensure our future together, we can take traditions and bring them down once this happens” but of course it’s not that easy!! of course he rebelled against his nation before but things are different now. sure he’s older and more mature, but he’s the fire lord. he has a role to play, a role that can’t be seen as lesser by council and ancestors.

and maybe sokka doesn’t want marriage!!! maybe he was fine with how things were before, before the “we have to keep quiet about this, we have to put this problem under the rug and smooth it over, then we can be happy for realsies” he can’t have them both, zuko and the fire nation!!! they’re not separate enough, if he (they) can’t work this out to make it so, then he’ll do it quick for the both of them. sever both limbs.

he is packing his little bag and running away and zuko will spiral and sokka will too but here’s the thing!!! it’s freer like this!!! he doesn’t have the fire nation breathing down his neck, and no matter how guilty he feels about it, he can untense his shoulders and do things his own way. and zuko doesn’t have to worry about his safety atm, he can focus solely on his job as a ruler. maybe this is better, at least just a bit better than the “we don’t think or talk about this issue, then it’ll go away” era

[tnystrk-exe]

Estocolmo

Hannibal x Reader

Masterpost

Warnings: Smut 18+ thigh riding, fingering, oral, daddy kink, plot to make up for my first attempt at writing smut.

Word count: 6.8k

Chapter One

“Fucking hell.” You sighed as you looked at the still tall stack of essays that needed grading. “I’m never getting through this.”

Your stomach grumbled, signaling it was time for a break. Stretching, the quiet was interrupted by the sound of your bone’s protest from sitting in one position for hours. It was nights like these you had regretted your choices. Sure you had known Professor Jacob loved to torture his students with too much work, but when you took the job as his assistant you assumed that he’d shoulder some of the weight. A ridiculous thought now that you’ve experienced working with him. Why should he even think of grading an assignment when he had a perfect little lackey doing it for him? That was a non question. He had been strict about the work not leaving his office, which meant you had accidentally fallen asleep in his office more than often than you would have liked. The pile of work never seemed to diminish. 

Walking out the office, you thought briefly of the joy you would feel when you’d never have to see it again. These long corridors would be a thing of the past in just a few, short months. Then you’d probably go to the city and struggle for a while but at least you would be free from here. As much as you prided yourself for getting through the first round of college, the walls of the building gave you more of an annoyed feeling than anything. 

Pushing open the door to the teachers lounge, you made a beeline for the fridge. The leftover pizza already seemed like a feast until you noticed it was nowhere to be seen. “Hannibal,” you whined to the empty room as you closed the fridge. 

“Yes, darling?” 

You startled, immediately turning around to face him, a mischievous smile was plastered on his lips. Usually your missing dinner meant to head over to his office. It wasn’t typical, but the two of you had managed a comfortable friendship between the shared late nights. Though, you suspected he’d stay longer than necessary to accompany you in the empty building. “Would you mind telling me where my dinner went, handsome?” You asked, raising a brow at him.

“Old pizza can hardly be considered dinner. Come,” he motioned to sit next to him at the table, “I’ve got a better meal prepared for you nonetheless.”

“Or maybe you just need to learn to appreciate the simple things,” you quipped as you took your seat.

“And you, the finer.”

You gave him an obvious look over, “I’d say I appreciate you plenty enough.” 

Being so forward wasn’t usually in your cards. However Hannibal had always been a gentleman and it had been fun to tease at him a bit. He never complained, often just acknowledging what you said with a raised brow or chuckle. Still there was always some truth in jokes and you’d be lying to say that he was anything less than tempting. Especially in the dark grey suit and dried blood red shirt of his. ‘No’ wouldn’t come to mind if he ever offered.

“Naughty, Miss LN,” he chided you, “What shall we do with you?”

“What do you want to do with me?”

“Eat your dinner,” he said, humor in his voice as he shook his head.

You choked back a comment about him just wanting to see your mouth stuffed, deciding it was too much of a push. Instead you just opened the lunchbox he placed in front of you. Hannibal watched you expectantly as you took a bite of the meat.

Closing your eyes, you savored the bite. It had been a while since you had something home cooked. “Han... I’m going to miss you most. I don’t know what I’m gonna do without you. Delicious, as always.”

“I’m sure you’ll do just fine.” He went back to work on his own stack of papers as you ate. “Though, I’m not sure I’m ready to allow you to live off street food once we part.”

“Guess we’re gonna have to find me another man that insists on throwing away my perfectly good food to serve me home cooked meals.”

Hannibal left some remarks on a paper before pushing it to the side. “You could always come learn a few things. Maybe I’ll rest better knowing you know how to make yourself a couple of decent meals. Any guesses for the meat?”

It was a strange guessing game, but you indulged him, he was just eccentric. “Oh, definitely human,” you teased, making sure to pick up some spinach and artichoke in the next bite, “Probably had a boring name like David.”

“Close. It was Richard,” he corrected. 

“Beef, it was the Rolex of all farm animals hand picked by you and I’m very grateful you shared some with me,” you smiled at him, “So how are things going with Baltimore?”

“I’ve found a beautiful home. The office, however, seems to be harder to find.”

“I’m sure you’ll find the perfect one.” Your phone started ringing. Grabbing it from your pocket, you looked at the screen. Mom. “They’re making this unnecessarily difficult,” you sighed to yourself. 

Hannibal looked at you with peaked interest as you shut off your phone and pushed it away. “Is something troubling you?”

“My parents aren’t taking too kindly to the no contact rule. It’s the tenth call today.”

“You’ve cut them off?”

“I thought about what you had said,” you shrugged, “I’m tired of always having to get them out of troubles and be their ATM when I don’t have enough for myself. It’s just too much on me right now. Between school assignments, Jacob’s work pile, and my other part time, it’s all just suffocating. They keep trying to use my grandfather’s death as a leverage to make me feel bad about not talking to them now, but they just want some money. I don’t want to feel guilty about this but I can’t help it.”

“Don’t,” he placed his hand over yours, “You deserve to feel taken care of and appreciated. They aren’t providing you with that now. Especially now when they use the death of the person who raised you as leverage,” he shook his head, making a disgusted sound, “It’s for your own well-being that you take some time to breathe and be young. They provide too much stress…” Hannibal fell silent. “I’ve suggested this before but i-“

You gave his hand a gentle squeeze before pulling away. “I’m not taking your money. We’re friends. Money complicates things. Muddies the waters.”

“Friends help each other,” he reminded you, “I’ve already told you I wouldn’t want any payment.”

“But I’d still feel like I owe you.” You shook your head, “It wouldn’t feel right to me. I’m fine. I promise. Though, if you’re so willing to help me with something, I wouldn’t say no to those cooking lessons. They could be fun.”

He spared you a smile, “It would be my pleasure to teach you what I know.”

“And I’d never deny your pleasure,” your mouth spoke before you could think about it, “Sorry.”

“I don’t deny myself pleasure either,” he said, amused. “You’re fine. Now, how about we meet on Sunday? I’ll have time to figure out a full meal and gather all of the ingredients.”

“Great!�� You ignored the heat that still lingered on your face, “I- um, do you need me to bring anything?”

“Nothing at all, I’ll make sure to take care of everything. All you need to do, sweet girl, is bring yourself and an appetite.”

You stifled a pleased smile at the term of affection. “I’ll make sure to do that,” sparing a glance to the clock, you frowned, “I should probably get back to work on those essays.”

“Why don’t we work on them together?” He suggested. “My colleague is notorious for drowning you in his work. I can help you sort through it all and you can have a restful Saturday without Micheal’s added stress.”

“I really can’t ask that of you. You already have enough work as it is.”

“We’ll work together. First your work, then mine. What happened to never denying my pleasure?” 

Your eyes widened, but you laughed all the same. Maybe a while more in his company wouldn’t be so bad. “Fine. Hold me to my words, but it’s only going to cause you a headache. Don’t say I didn’t warn you. These new kids are… something else.”

“They’re nothing,” he stood, grabbing his papers in one hand, “Meet me in my office. We can be more comfortable there and I may have stowed away a bottle of wine.”

“What would I do without you Doctor Lecter?”

-

“You have arrived at your destination,” the robotic voice informed you as you parked.

You took in the mansion of a home. It was too big for someone that lived alone. The thought made you shiver. Homes should be filled with life, not empty space. Then again, he was a fan of dinner parties, extravagant ones at that, so you supposed there was life in those walls on occasion. The home itself reminded you of the houses in old movies. Ones where the lightning would strike at just the right moment as a warning to stay away. But this was real life and there was no lightning, just a sun setting on a near perfect day. 

Without a warning telling you to keep away, you grabbed the gift bag and stepped out of your car. He had said to bring nothing, but you couldn’t resist a simple gift. The ties in the bag had taken out a decent chunk from your pocket, but he deserved them. Between agreeing to give you cooking lessons and helping you out with grading every so often, the simple pieces of fabric meant nothing. Besides, it was a two way gift, he’d get more of the patterned ties he was fond of and you’d get to see him in the darker colors you liked on him, knowing he’d feel compelled to wear them to show you his gratitude.

Knocking on the door, you waited a couple of minutes before he emerged. “YN, just in time. Please, come in,” he stepped to the side, “I’ve looked forward to this all day.”

You smiled and stepped past him. “I have too. Entertained myself a bit today by finding you a gift.” 

“Darling, you shouldn’t have.”

Nervousness bit at you slightly, a bit self conscious they’d be too cheap for his taste. Too late to back out of it, you handed over the bag. “You’ve always been so kind and I really appreciate everything. Let me do something for you.”

He set the bag on the nearby table, laying out the ties to get a better look at them.  “They’re all lovely,” he ran a finger across the fabric of a maroon one, “Fond of me in darker colors, YN?”

“What can I say?” You shrugged, “We catch ourselves spending a lot of time together. Why not make you a decent piece of eye candy?”

“Inappropriate,” he chided you, before signaling you to follow after him.

“You just wear them so well, Doctor Lecter.”

Shrugging off his navy suit coat, he draped it over a chair, making quick work of rolling up his sleeves. “Ready to get your hands dirty, my little sous-chef?”

“What are we making?” You asked, looking at his kitchen wide eyed. It was definitely bigger than your measly studio apartment. 

“Frisee aux lardons, duck with a pomegranate-citrus glaze. I took the liberty of preparing a blood orange sorbet for dessert.”

“I have a proposal.”

“Yes?”

“We don’t do any of that and just have dessert for dinner.”

“No,” he gave you an amused glance, “There’s more pleasure in waiting for things. Why don’t you start washing up the vegetables and I’ll start preparing the duck?”

You stuck your tongue out at his back but set to your work. “This is what I get for befriending a charming old guy.”

“Keep going the way you are and our next meal together will be langue d’Agneau en papillote.”

“That can’t be a threat if I don’t know what that means,” you quipped, setting aside an endive. 

“It means, darling,” he pointed his knife at you, “The fondness I feel for you is an inconvenience. Nonetheless, it’s welcomed.”

You smiled at him brightly, as you brought the washed vegetables over to him. “I’m fond of you too, but you gotta stop flirting and teach me how we’re gonna cook Daffy here.”

He motioned for you to grab a cutting board and a knife of your own. The two of you worked in quiet harmony, occasionally he’d tell you exactly why he was doing something a certain way or just give you simple instructions and let you have a hands on feel of exactly how to prepare something. It was nice to see him in his element. Hannibal seemed much more content in his kitchen than any where you had seen him at the college. Eventually he set his work to the side and washed his hands. 

“You’re cutting them too thick. Thinner is better for this dish.” He stepped behind you, “Do you mind?”

“Go ahead.” You attempted to move to the side, but Hannibal had already caged you in between himself and the counter. His cologne was different from the one you were accustomed to him wearing, but the subtle spice of it gave a more homey feeling to him. 

Hannibal grabbed your hand that had yet to  let go of the knife. He made sure to show you how to cut them the right thickness. “See? A little thing can unbalance everything.”

“Hm,” you hummed, catching yourself relaxed against the man, his frame strong against yours, “I don’t see much of a difference. Pretty sure this is just your variation of a putter.”

“You assume I have hidden motives,” He acknowledged, looking down at you, “And if there were any?”

Taking the bait, you pressed a kiss to the side of his jaw. “I wouldn’t be too upset.”

His head dipped into your shoulder, taking in a breath. “What happened to not wanting to bring on complications in our friendship?”

“We only have weeks left with each other,” you shrugged, “There wouldn’t be any complications. Not really.”

“We really should get back to making our dinner, darling,” he sighed, almost seeming reluctant to pull away, “What else did you did you do today?””

It took you a second to respond, still shaking off the embarrassment. You weren’t sure what had compelled you to do that. When you looked up at him you grimaced. Grabbing a napkin, you carefully wiped away the lingering lipstick. “The ties were the more interesting part of the day, I didn’t plan anything eventful. Honestly most of my day was taken with trying to recall the shop you mentioned that carried the ones you liked.”

He hummed in appreciation, “You also managed to pick out two I have had my eye on. I’ve got new suits coming in soon that will pair perfectly.”

You beamed at that, happy he did actually like what you had chosen. “Lucky guess. It was difficult remembering the ones I had seen you wear.”

Hannibal made to grab some ingredients and set them on the counter near the stove. “Have your parents tried calling you this weekend?”

You sighed, sure you didn’t have to tell him the truth but you wanted to, he had a compelling thing to him that made it easy to just speak. “I sent them money for rent. Which was honestly the dumbest thing I’ve done in a while.”

“It wasn’t idiotic,” he stated, setting to work on making the pomegranate sauce as you watched, “They’re you’re parents. It’s only natural you worry about them. Though, I do worry they’ll think of you as a person that doesn’t stick to her word.”

“I know, I really meant to, but the thought of them out on the street. It’s not my responsibility, but I’m just so used to being their adult.”

“It’s difficult to detransition. You worry for them as they should worry for you.”  He checked over a pan he had been heating, “That’s perfect. If you could please..” Grabbing the plate with the duck you set them on the pan. “With duck it’s important to render off the fat. A low heat is necessary.”

You nodded, “Low and slow, got it... You know, I’m not sure they worry about me at all. I mean- I know they don’t. It should hurt, but it’s just a fact of life.”

“They didn’t give you an opportunity to be a child. When you were supposed to be in the most carefree moments of your life, they burdened you with the responsibilities of an adult.” He held out a spoon with some of the pomegranate sauce for you to taste. “Any pain the notion inflicted on you has been killed with time.”

“There are still moments though. Suppose that’s common enough, isn’t it Doc?” You leaned in, allowing him to feed you, “That tastes amazing. I really should have paid attention.”

“It’s simple, I’ll write it out for you later.” Casting the sauce aside, he set a pot of water to boil. “Very common. We aren’t too dissimilar when it comes to how quickly we had to grow up. Very different reasons, but the fall out isn’t much different. Our paths left us in places where we’re very much alone.”

“What happened?” You asked, realizing that he had known a great deal of your family and you had known nothing more past how his day had gone or his preference of coffee. “If you don’t mind me asking.”

“I don’t.” Hannibal went to fill two glasses with wine. “I was very young when my parents died. My father had implemented in me that, if anything were to happen, I was to take care of my mother and sister. Which meant I had grown fiercely protective of Mischa when the time came. Soon I was acting more as her father than a brother.”

“Where’s Mischa now?” You asked, knowing at the very least she had to be in her late twenties.

His lips set into a frown, he took a quick drink. “Lost her sometime after. There was a lapse of judgement on my part and she suffered because of it. My days have often been shrouded by the thought that I could have done better by her. The ways I failed burdens me significantly.”

You rubbed his arm sympathetically. “I couldn’t even begin to imagine that pain.”

“It’s something I never wish to experience again. Losing someone you love so dearly, it changes a person.”

“I’m sure you tried your best. You’re a good man. I’m sorry you had to go through all of that when you were so young.”

“You think too highly of me,” he patted your hand on his arm, “Far better than I deserve. Still if my childhood had taught me anything, it’s to value those I hold dear. Such as yourself.” 

“I’m glad we found each other. Even if it is for a short while.” You watched as he stepped back into the rhythm of cooking. Maybe you weren’t any help to him but watching him work was comforting. 

He raised a brow, “Just because the amount of time we physically see each other will diminish, doesn’t mean we need to completely break apart. I’d like to have you at my dinner table later in life.”

“I’d like it if we kept in touch,” you replied, looking at a small box on the counter. The small black beads glimmered in the light, calling at you to take a peek. A neat row of recipe cards in his impeccable penmanship, numbered as high as 120 but there could have been more. “That’s sweet,” you mused, looking at the back of a card, noticing a couple had business cards on them, “You keep track of your friends’ favorites like this?”

“Friends, acquaintances, business partners. It’s difficult remembering everyone’s preferences. When I have dinner parties I like to make sure there’s a bit of something for everyone.”

“Hm, well I’m sorry I don’t have a card for you to have.”

When everything was said and done, you helped Hannibal set up the plates to have dinner. The conversation became light as you laughed along to the better memories of Mischa. From his smile it was easy to see he adored the usually shy girl. You never pressed on to find out how she died, simply choosing to bask in his soft smiles and laughter instead of entertaining curiosity. It was easy to see he rarely talked about her and you were grateful that he found that much comfort in you.

Some time later he was sitting at his harpsichord, playing a self composed melody as you browsed his shelves. There was an almost familiar calm in the air, like this was a usual happening and it would simply just happen again. A naturally reoccurring moment. You found comfort in his presence too. 

You looked up from the shelves when you heard his sigh. “I can’t seem to master this melody,” he stated, “The ending never sounds right.” The annoyed demeanor contradicted his lax look. At least lax for him. His vest and suit jacket had been discarded a while ago leaving him with a popped button, loosened tie, and rolled up sleeves. “I may just leave this one in the air.”

“Sounds perfect to me,” you said, walking over to him, “Though we can be our own worst critics. I know I’m mine.”

“It sounds… forced. Almost as if it’s reluctant to work with me.”

“Forced things just need time.” You placed your hand on his shoulders, digging in your thumbs to relieve the tension you felt. A soft groan as he let his head lull back to rest against your stomach. “Time is all you need sometimes. I thought you would have learned that already, old man.”

He opened his eyes, raising a brow at you. “Always with that mouth.”

You smiled down on him fondly, something- probably the wine in your system -thought about pressing a kiss to his forehead right then. “What can I say? It has a mind of its own.”

“I do prefer when it’s otherwise occupied,” he stated, closing his eyes again.

Your fingers dug a little deeper at that, caught off guard. “And yet.”

Hannibal played a couple soft notes, seemingly testing the waters for his next attempt at getting it to sound right. “And yet.” The first melody seemed almost innocent, but was followed by a second seemingly stalking after it. “Would you mind putting on a record? It seemed I’ve grown bored with music of my own.”

“Sure thing, Han.” Giving his shoulders one final squeeze you pulled away from him. At the record table you browsed through his selection. Hannibal was still composing as you decided to go with a record that looked more worn than the others, figuring something well loved would help him out of his frustrated state. Setting it on the platter, you gave it a brief once over with the anti static brush, knowing he’d probably be attentive to that type of thing, and dropped the needle. The music filled the air as you took in the melody. “Very you.”

He let out a soft chuckle, abandoning the harpsichord, in favor walking over to you. “Very me, indeed.” Hannibal took the record sleeve out of your hand, setting it down on the table. The music’s build up reached. “Would you give me the honor?” His hand was stretched out toward you.

You gave him a sheepish smile, “Afraid I’m going to have to disappoint. I’m not much of a dancer.”

“I’ve been told I’m a wonderful teacher,” he pressed, a charming smile on his lips, “We all start somewhere. Let me be yours.”

A soft laugh bubbled from you as you took in his look of boyish excitement. “You’re not allowed to complain when I step on your toes.” You placed your hand in his. 

He gave a gentle squeeze to your hand. “If you’re too terrible, I’ll show you the way I taught Mischa. You can stand on my toes as I try to help you commit the movements into muscle memory.”

“Handsome and a comedian.”

“I try my best.” Hannibal gave you a gentle spin as he pulled you closer. A kiss was pressed to your hand before he placed it on his shoulder. “Now, just follow after me,” he instructed, placing his hand on your hip.

The moment could have made you fall for the man as you danced with him throughout the room. Toothy smiles and teasing winks were sent your way the couple of times you stepped on his toe. Soon enough, you figured out the pace and learned how to follow through with his unspoken plans. Still, ever the novice, you managed to place your foot in a way that sent you both stumbling to the floor.

Hannibal held you close to his chest, ensuring you didn’t get hurt in the fall. “Oh my sweet girl,” he laughed, “we are going to need more practice.”

You hid your face against his neck, ignoring the fact that he could feel how hot your face was getting. “You want more of that?”

“You were doing perfect, YN,” he stroked your hair sympathetically, “One misstep isn’t something to be embarrassed about.”

Taking a deep breath, you shifted off of the older man, opting to sit beside him on the floor. Hannibal followed suit, leaning back on his elbows. “I really am going to miss seeing you regularly,” you admitted, reaching out your hand to push back the hair that had fallen in front of his eyes. 

“We spend much of our time together,” he acknowledged as he looked at you curiously. “In the kitchen-“

Your eyes widened slightly, “We don’t need to talk about that i-it’s fine. No hard feelings.”

“Romantically or physically?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Do you see me as a romantic or physical conquest?”

“I, um,” you opted to look at your fumbling hands, “I’m honestly not sure about romance… especially considering… everything and my experience when it comes to romance. Never really thought past- I’m talking too much.”

Hannibal’s hand tilted your chin up, forcing you to look him in the eye. “Oh? What happened to the confident girl in the kitchen? Don’t go shy on me now.”

“I was high on your cologne, you can hardly blame me,” you rambled, “It pairs with mine nicely I think.”

His thumb stroked absentmindedly at your jaw. “Such a sweet little thing you are… Now, tell me, YN, what couldn’t you think past?”

“You,” you offered lamely, “Mostly nights when I needed to relax. You’d cross my mind. I’d wonder how you felt. How’d you do things. Maybe you’d like to leave bruises only you’d ever know about…”

“There’s something special in knowing what others don’t,” Hannibal acknowledged, “I do enjoy my lovers wearing my marks, hidden from others view and only acknowledged by myself. As it should be, I’m certain you agree.”

You swallowed thickly at the implication of being marked as his solely. The idea of having normal conversations with him at the college with evidence of him knowing you well burned against your skin. Maybe you’d see if you could convince him into one particular fantasy Friday night had conjured. 

He rested his thumb against your bottom lip, bringing you back to him. “I’ve had thoughts of my own… I wonder… Have you ever wrapped a hand around your own neck?” Hannibal smirked at the way your lips parted in surprise as he felt the heat rise to your face, caught in a way you hadn’t expected. “Sweet girl, were you desperate for me?”

You went to lick your bottom lip out of habit, instead finding the pad of his thumb. “Yes, sir.”

“Darling,” he sighed out softly, almost disappointed, “we could have sorted you out this entire time, if you’d only ask politely. There would have been no need for you to imagine, creative as you might have been. You always put everyone’s needs before yours, but where does that leave you?” Hannibal his thumb pressed against your lips lightly, humming in satisfaction when you let him in, already so compliant. “All you have to do is ask. What would you have me do tonight?” A soft pop sounded in the room as he pulled his thumb back, smearing your spit onto your lips and chin. 

“Just tonight?” The words rolled out of your mouth thoughtlessly. 

A soft laugh. “Maybe more, if you behave.”

Hannibal threaded his hand into your hair, pulling your head back slightly. Leaning closer he took a deep breath, taking you in, before leaving a simple kiss against your neck. His warm breath fanned across your face as he kept you in anticipation. Finally he graced you with a feather light kiss, so quick you weren’t sure you even noticed. You didn’t have time to feel ashamed of the whine that had escaped when he started to move away. Following after him, you caught him in an urgent kiss, threading your own hands in his hair to make sure he’d stay close. Hannibal bit at your bottom lip, his tongue sliding in the second you gasped. You ignored the sting and slight coppery taste. 

Sure you had had your fair share of ventures. It was only natural to crave the attention for the night or a couple hours. However, Hannibal didn’t feel like any of your past partners. His kiss was unrelenting and passionate. Quickly he learned exactly how to kiss you to ensure you’d moan into his mouth. You weren’t sure how long had been spent like this. Lips on lips. Someone’s wandering hand trailing down the other’s body. The growing need. Every movement slowly became bolder. Hannibal took the time to pull you onto his thigh, closing the distance between you even more. He kissed along your neck until he found a spot that made you buck against him. 

“Please,” you sighed out, not really knowing exactly what you wanted, but having faith that he’d give you just what you needed. 

Hannibal leaned his forehead against yours, “Are you sure about this, darling?” 

It wasn’t time for contemplation though, everything was already set into motion. He had just asked out of politeness. His hands moved to your hips, he dragged you against himself in a way that clouded your mind. “You’re very convincing,” you said with a shuddered breath. Leaning your head against his shoulder, you matched his rhythm. At the moment everything in the world was him and you couldn’t find it in you to mind. 

“You came to me,” he pointed out. His hand tugged at your shirt and you allowed him to pull it off. Fingers raised goose bumps along your skin as he followed the fabric of your bra to unclasp the material.  

“Could you blame me?” You kissed the side of his jaw for the second time this night. The lipstick mark left behind wasn’t as embarrassing when you were half undressed on his lap. A blush blossomed in your chest as you watched his darken eyes take you in.

Hannibal kissed along your chest. His hand made its way into your pants, drawing slow circles on your clit. Your soft moan and jut of your hips urged him for more. Before you could ask, he thrusted two fingers inside of you, the pace changing every so often as he took in your reactions. You leaned your head against his shoulder as you grinded against his hand. Soft whimpers were muffled by the fabric of his shirt. 

“Come on sweet girl,” he used his free hand to pull you off of his shoulder by the hair, “you shouldn’t be hiding. Look at me when I’m touching you. Don’t you want to be my good toy?”

You nodded meekly, unable to make a smart comment when you saw a smirk settle on his lips as a too loud moan took its place. 

“That’s it, no one can hear you,” he teased as he worked at the spot harder, his thumb rubbed at your clit. “You seem very close, what if I…”

As he went to move his hand, you grabbed his wrist to stop him. “No, no, no. Please, I’ll be good for you.”

He chuckled, but didn’t say a word as he brought his pace back up. Instead he chose to revel in your soft sounds and the way you had to focus to keep your eyes on him. Finally, he decided keeping you on the edge was enough and allowed you to cum on his fingers. 

“Clean up your mess,” he said as he thrusted his cum coated fingers into your mouth, “There you go, good girl.”

You watched him as you sucked his fingers clean. Bringing a hand down you palmed cock through his pants, fully intending on returning the favor. “You’re wearing too many clothes.”

“I’m afraid that status isn’t going to change anytime soon.” Hannibal kissed your pouted lip. “Don’t worry, I fully intend on taking care of you. Come, let’s make you more comfortable.”

As he stood, Hannibal offered you his hand to help you up. You followed him through the home to his bedroom, a place you didn’t think you’d end up but were more than pleased to see. Still you weren’t exactly taking in the sights when you were pulled into a rougher kiss as he led you toward his bed. A not too gentle push to your chest landed you on top of it. Leaning back on your elbows, you watched as Hannibal took his time undressing you fully. 

“You don’t play fair,” you complained, shifting yourself higher on the bed, away from him, “I like a pretty view too you know.”

He smiled, looking down at you fondly, “Very well, but only as a reward for earlier. I know you struggled.”

You smiled at that, shaking your head, “Come here won’t you?”

There wasn’t any time wasted when he settled on top of you, you didn’t have his patience. Your hands worked on his tie and buttons as his lips and teeth trailed across your chest. A subtle grind against your pussy had your thighs squeeze his waist. Pushing his shirt off, you felt down his chest, still surprised by how muscular he seemed to be underneath it all. You wondered if he’d stop you as you reached for his belt.

“That’s enough. I don’t think you’ve earned it just yet.”

An annoyed huff was all you could manage. 

“All in its time, darling.” A surprisingly gentle kiss was dropped on your cheek. “Can you manage waiting a while longer for me?”

You resisted the urge to nuzzle against him, unused to such soft displays from past partners. “Yes, sir...”

“Always such a sweet, polite thing.” 

Hannibal kissed and bit his way down your body, ensuring there would be evidence of him the next time you saw yourself in the mirror. He allowed you to thread your fingers in his hair, giving him a soft push down when he took too long marking you in one spot. It wasn’t much longer until Hannibal was level with your thighs, he pushed them further apart. A moment passed without anything before you remembered his rule. Willing yourself up you looked down at him, catching a wink before you were rewarded with a broad lick. Hannibal sucked your clit, pressing your hips down when you grinded against him. 

A helpless noise was the most you could do.

He bit your thigh, his fingers immediately making their way back inside of you, targeting the spot he had quickly learned turned you to putty. 

“You really are beautiful like this,” Hannibal acknowledged, “Completely at my mercy. Desperate for anything I’m willing to give you.”

There wasn’t any time to think up something to say as Hannibal’s mouth replaced his fingers, silencing any words that weren’t his breathy attempts of his name and pleas. Teeth grazed against your clit and a soft moan of his own was enough to pull you closer. 

“Please, daddy,” you begged, too far gone to be embarrassed by your slip, “I’m close…”

Hannibal was merciful, helping you finish as quickly as you had asked. Maybe at another time he would have teased and made you hold on longer but there was only so much patience he had. Especially when there was such an eager lover begging him. You watched him, dazed, as he came back up, his hand gripping at your jaw.

“Open.”

Doing as he wanted, you opened your mouth, instantly receiving a mix of the still lingering wine he had drank at dinner and you. He watched as you swallowed.

He let out an almost dreamy sigh. “So pliant.” 

Hannibal kissed you, finally allowing you to get your way as you pushed off the last clothes. You pumped him in your hand, working up the courage as you shook off the daze he had left you in. He was definitely the most talented partner you had had.

“We don’t have to go any further,” Hannibal reassured you, kissing the side of your mouth, “I’m perfectly sedated watching you.”

You shook your head immediately, not wanting him to think you were hesitant. “I want to, college guys aren’t so giving, just needed some time to clear my head.” As if to prove your point you gave him a squeeze, that made him thrust into your hand on instinct. “I just feel bad you’re doing all the work.”

“I prefer it,” he groaned quietly, as you thumbed at the slit. Hannibal rolled so that you could be on top of him, “But if you insist…”

A soft laugh. “That was hardly the fight I was expecting,” you muttered teasingly, kissing his jaw. 

“My patience is running thin.”

At that you straddled him, your hand lining him up with you. His hands held you steady as you sunk onto him. The both of you moaned softly when he was fully inside. Hannibal slowly grinded you against himself as you adjusted to his size. Hands against his chest, you started riding him in earnest. 

“That’s my good girl,” he praised you, his fingernails digging harder into your hips. 

“Yours,” you whimpered, too enthralled in the feel of him to pay any attention to the weight of what you were saying. His groans underneath you encouraged you more than anything. “All yours.”

Hannibal sat up, wrapping an arm around your waist to keep you firm against him. His soft kiss was a contrast to how roughly he was working himself into you. You couldn’t find it in you to care that he had taken control again. Instead you wrapped your arms around his neck, letting him do as he pleased, just enjoying the way his hands and lips would travel across your body. Teasing, pinching, biting everywhere he could reach.  Your chest alone would be covered in marks left behind by Hannibal. That would be a problem for the future you to deal with at the moment you were too preoccupied with begging him for more. He’d slow his thrust whenever he felt you close to the end, chuckling lowly at the whining sounds you had made.

“Give daddy one more sweet girl. I know you can.”

You moaned loudly, giving Hannibal exactly what he wanted. When he wanted. Drained, you fell limp against his shoulder. Every small sound you made broadcast directly to him as he used you for all your worth. His arms tightened around you when you tried to pull away from the over stimulation. 

“Daddy’s close,” he promised, his accent thicker than usual, “I’ve taken such good care of my girl. Be good for me.”

Nodding, you dug your nails into his shoulders. You could be good. He had been so good to you after all. Still your vision blurred and it had taken a while longer for him to finally go still inside of you. 

Hannibal kissed the side of your head, before pulling you to lay down against him. His thumb wiped away the stray tear that had managed to fall. “You did so well for me. Are you alright? Do you need anything?”

You sighed sleepily, curling into his side more comfortably, “I’m alright. Just want you.”

“We’ll take care of you later,” he promised, seeing how tired you were, “You should rest, darling. I’ll be right here.” His hand rested on your hip, thumbing at forming bruise gently. Between the soft touch and his quiet humming, it didn’t take long for you to find sleep. 

NextChapter

[like-the-rest-of-la]

It really is kind of hilarious that eddie made buck christophers legal guardian if something happens to him and he just told no one. Like babe that is really importnat information that you should share with at least one person

God I know right???

I'm still so... why did you not tell Buck this before? Why keep it to yourself for over a year? Like, there were opportunities, eg., around Buck begins, where it would have made sense for Eddie to tell Buck, but... he just didn't talk about it. He just kept it to himself.

(I know we like to talk about the implication of feelings involved in and around the act of making Buck Chris' legal guardian and why it might have been so hard to articulate what exactly it meant to Eddie at that point, bc he probably wouldn't have been able to put it into words at that time but) Part of me also thinks it's because Eddie didn't really deal with the well incident, which was also a traumatic experience for him? (like, I know we talk about the shooting a lot, but... being buried alive, barely making it out of a collapsed well... that's no joke either (it's my absolute nightmare). Instead he tackled the problem that immediately presented itself to him (what will happen to my son if I'm gone) and once that was dealt with, he sealed the whole damn thing shut and then used the good old Diaz coping mechanism, he 'moved' on. Because that was what was expected of him after he returned from Afghanistan, right? and he thinks that he kinda failed that one a bit, cause he (selfishly, Eddie would probably say) needed time and it drove his wife away.

So, maybe he didn't talk to Buck at that time because it would have meant to talk about the well (Buck sure would have asked questions) and what it was like being faced with his own mortality again, with the fact that he easily could have died that day (which is now a whole new level of fucked up because Shannon is gone, he's the only parent left). And Eddie can't really do that. He can't talk but he can do something. And he does, controls the situation - problem solved. And it breaks my heart a bit. Cause I keep thinking about season 3 eddie in therapy FIGHTING TO NOT CRY, to keep it all bottled up. Because, sometimes I get the feeling that if he would talk about it... really talk, it would just all break out of him, and he'd definitely need a LOT more time then - which he doesn't allow himself, not again.

And then when he finally told Buck about the will, it was still a hard conversation for him to have, but, honestly, I think he did it more for Buck's sake than his own in that moment? (Which on the other hand is such a testament to how important their relationship is for Eddie sjjskdkkdkd!!!)

Idk, Eddie always has problems talking about the trauma that happened to him in relation to himself (only always in the effect it had/has on others). As much as he tells Chris that it makes things less scary when you talk about them, he can practically almost never do it.

The problem is that we're now at a point where he stuffed so much trauma down into the little Eddie-Diaz-box that he can't hold it in any longer, and it's spilling over (hello panic attacks) - and I think it's pretty telling that Chris is having problems as well atm, bc he is close to his dad, subconsciously or even consciously, he's noticing that Eddie is NOT okay, and children tend to mirror that. Basically, Chris threw Eddie's own fear back at him, when he said 'you could be dead next year' something that Eddie struggles to articulate and then deal with.

Anyway this got way too long, I'm so sorry omg!!! 🙈🙈🙈

[duskandstarlight]

Embers & Light (Chapter 39, NSFW Nessian)

Notes: Well, over a year you've had to wait for these two to seal the deal... BUT NO LONGER. And because I'm thankful to you all for sticking with this story, I've granted you with over 16k of sinful naughtiness. I think it's safe to say this is NSFW but you guys have read my smut before, you know the drill.

Embers & Light has always very much been the alternative story to Habits, but I couldn’t help but write in some crossover moments here to highlight the differences in events--timeline is a fascinating thing! Lemme know if you spot the moments :)

Please let me know what you think :) Comment and kudos will make my day!

I won't be able to write much of August (wedding & mini-moon) but I'll be doing my best to get you guys something as soon as possible. Hopefully by the end of the month, anyways <3

Oh! And I got a bookstagram. Find me at bookships.and.fandoms (and bear with me, I cba to take pretty pics atm)

Chapter 39 Cassian POV

Cassian stared at the doorway and the staircase beyond it, his gaze fixed and unwavering. Nesta had slipped out of the living room to follow Feyre up the stairs over ten minutes ago and he was already consumed with the biting sort of worry that gnawed at your insides.

He wasn’t concerned about what Nesta might be discussing with Feyre—that was her business—but because he couldn’t help but fret when it came to Nesta’s wellbeing.

It was a myriad of concerns that trampled through his mind like a herd of cattle. Had she slept enough? Had she recovered from being caught in the crowds the day before? Was her conversation with Feyre going to have her take three steps back rather than one forward? Cassian had spied the book of fairytales she’d slipped into her bag. Had guessed what she’d intended to do with it.

And then there was the fact that Nesta had left the bed before he’d woken again. Cassian couldn’t help but feel disappointed that she’d not been there when he’d opened his eyes, especially after the night before.

But that was how it was with he and Nesta. When the sun dipped below the horizon, Cassian often felt as if they were on the right path; as if once the world shut its eyes, the pressure was off and their play could continue. But as soon as light bled back into the sky, things weren’t the same. They weren’t cold… but Cassian felt suspended in a limbo of flirtatious banter and respectful distance. Which was hard, when all Cassian wanted to do was be as close to her as possible: to hold her hand and wind a hand through her hair. To kiss her brow and mouth and sink his teeth into her neck—

Cassian’s jaw tightened. He wanted to do wicked things. He wanted to make her moan and shatter. Wanted to know how she felt wrapped around him. Wanted to see if she’d gasp awake as he pushed inside of her.

Their trip home was going to be a turning point. Or at the very least it would be a milestone—a hammered notch as they progressed towards something. Yet, Cassian wasn’t naive: he wasn’t expecting Nesta to fall into his arms and never leave. But he hoped that it might make Nesta see their connection—not the tie between them, but the chemistry that Cassian knew would forever exist even if the mating bond was severed.

From the very first moment his gaze had settled on the haughty, vicious sister Cassian had known. Had nearly been brought to his knees—the heart-stopping moment so powerful, it suspended time as he felt something turn inside of him, as if something that had lain dormant had finally snapped open an eye.

And because of that Cassian would willingly allow Nesta to forge the reigns when it came to whatever it was between them. He could go slow. He would take the chance that Nesta might grow to accept him, even as he was seized by the terror that she might grow bored and draw a line under things before he had the chance to prove that he was worthy.

Cassian took a deep, steadying breath that made his ribcage heave. Thought of the lullaby that sat in his room at the House. Used that to ground himself and banish the painful thoughts.

Nesta had cared enough to gift him a piece of his past that nobody else had ever gone to the effort to find for him. And that was… everything. It was everything to him.

“I can hear the worry grinding gears in your brain.”

Rhys was standing where Mor had been a few moments earlier, his hands tucked into the pockets of his trousers, his eyebrows raised. Cassian hadn’t noticed Mor slip away. Couldn’t even recall what she'd been saying to him. Had he ignored her? He didn’t know. Didn’t really care. They all knew he was head over heels when it came to Nesta anyway.

Cassian blinked. It took him a moment to process Rhys’s words, but his body finally caught up. An instinctive grin tugged at the corners of his mouth and he commanded his eyes to sparkle, even though it was all fake. “I was under the impression you didn’t think I had one.”

Rhys didn’t chuckle or retort with something dry. Sometimes his brother allowed him to indulge in his self-deprecating behaviour, but it didn’t seem like today was one of those days. Instead, he cut to the chase. “They’re fine.”

Cassian bristled. Didn’t bother to pretend his mind wasn't solely on what was happening upstairs. “Feyre’s speaking with you now?”

Nesta would hate that. Would know if her sister was communicating to her mate whilst they were talking.

His brother’s laugh was as smooth as velvet. “No, she locked me out. It’s a habit she’s started recently and it’s usually coupled with the mental finger.”

This time, Cassian’s smile was genuine, as was the chuckle that chased it. “Feisty.”

“You have no idea,” Rhys responded with a wink.

Mor, who had breezed back to Cassian’s side with a new cup of coffee, rolled her eyes. “We do actually, you two are like rabbits.”

“We’re mated,” Rhys replied with a wave of his hand. “It’s to be expected.”

Mor lifted her eyes to the ceiling. “Cauldron, I need to bed someone rather than hearing about my cousin’s exploits with my best friend.”

“Head to Rita’s and find yourself a pretty fae,” Cassian drawled, tugging Mor into a one armed hug.

“Mmm,” Mor hummed, but she chewed on her lip again. Glanced nervously at Azriel, who was in deep conversation with Elain. His shadows were tucked in neatly to his frame rather than trailing, ever-moving and loose around his body, but Cassian knew he could hear them.

Cassian dropped a friendly kiss to Mor’s head before he let her go. Tussled her hair, grinning mischievously when she squawked in disapproval.

As if sensing that his cousin wanted a change of subject, Rhys looked square at Cassian. “Azriel will come over later to update you on the latest movements.”

Cassian sobered as if someone had poured icy water down his back. “Not later,” Cassian corrected firmly.

Tomorrow. No the day after that. Cassian couldn’t guarantee that he’d be able to stop once he’d had his first proper taste of Nesta.

But of course they couldn’t do that—wouldn’t. The situation in Illyria was too dire for them to be so selfish as to lock themselves away for days.

It didn’t mean Cassian didn’t want to, though.

“You’ve got plans?” Rhys asked lightly and Mor froze.

You’ve got no idea, Cassian thought. But then realised his brother knew. Of course he did. Surely everyone in this room knew how desperate he was to get back to Illyria. To have Nesta in his bed again, writhing and moaning, their bodies slick with sweat as they moved in unison.

Clenching his jaw, Cassian grounded that desire between his teeth, until it was nothing but broken, delicious shards that scraped down his throat. His blood coiled. “Yes. Maybe.”

If she doesn’t change her mind.

“It has to be tomorrow, Cass.”

Biting back a sigh, Cassian nodded. “I know. Come at noon. I suppose I’ll be camped out in Illyria for the foreseeable future.” He cast a stern look at Mor. “Send me letters.”

“You have a housemate,” Rhys reminded him. “You’re not going to be entirely alone.”

Mor grinned slyly. “A very beautiful housemate.”

Cassian was more than aware of that.

He grunted and unable to stop himself, he voiced the fear that always niggled away at the back of his mind. “For now.”

But Rhys just loosed another manicured shrug, that was at odds with the ground-breaking revelation that followed it. “For a long while. Nesta has expressed her desire to remain in Illyria long-term despite the discontent. Assuming you don’t mind sharing your bungalow.”

It felt as if an iron band of hope was clamped around Cassian’s chest. He stared at his brother. Tried not to blink. Crossed his arms firmly over his chest, protecting his heart. “And you know this how?”

“Nesta spoke with me. We have arrived at a truce, of sorts.”

That must have been what they’d spoken about yesterday on the balcony. He wanted to know more—everything—but Cassian would not press Rhys. If Nesta wanted to tell him, she would. He had to respect that.

So, he bit back his curiosity and grumbled, “About time.”

Rhys clapped his hand on Cassian’s back, but there was something wary in his expression, as if there was something he wanted to say but wouldn’t. Finally, he said, “Patience is a virtue, brother.”

“I’m not the patient sort.”

“You are when it counts,” Rhys countered, and Cassian didn’t say anything because they both knew what he was referring to. Rhys had been the first to know. Had witnessed Cassian in a tangled web of despair and longing and unwanted visions. His brother had immediately put two and two together. Because he’d been there, too. Knew what it was to want someone you thought you couldn’t have. To hope that someone might finally grow to see you in colour rather than in black and white.

Cassian cast another look towards the empty doorway and the quiet hallway beyond it.

A shiver of anticipation ran through him. It was time for them to go home.

***

In the end, Cassian folded to his worry and had Elain fetch Nesta from upstairs. It was time to go, he’d insisted, even though there was no true reason as to why they needed to leave quite so quickly.

“No guesses required to identify why you want to head back to Illyria,” Mor muttered out the side of her mouth, as the creak of the stairs a few flights above heralded the sisters return. Cassian jabbed his elbow into his friend’s ribs and Mor yelped through her grin, even as she had to sidestep, the nudge throwing her off balance. “What? It’s all over your face. You think I can’t read you after five hundred years?”

“Don’t announce it to the room,” Cassian muttered darkly under his breath, “and you won’t find yourself torn to pieces.”

Mor briefly bumped against his arm, the jostle affectionate. Unfazed by his threat, she glanced sideways at him with rich chocolate eyes. “I won’t. We just want you to be happy, you know.”

Cassian’s mouth flattened into a thin line. “Now isn’t the time for a lecture about finding a more suitable mate.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. He hadn’t meant for it to happen, hadn’t meant to voice what he’d kept inside for so long.

Mor’s eyes widened, but she wound her arms around his waist. Cassian allowed her to tuck herself under his arm. His friend scented of citrus and cinnamon. When she craned her neck to look up at him, her expression was glowing with sincerity and Cassian realised that she hadn’t been insinuating that Nesta wasn’t right for him at all. “We’re all cheering you on from the sidelines, Cass, I promise.”

The muscle in Cassian’s jaw flexed. He looked away from her, towards the doorway again, unable to help himself. “Don’t say anything.”

She tightened her grip on his waist. “I won’t. I promise.”

“She doesn’t want it.”

Mor untangled herself from him. Shook her head in disagreement. “She does. She just isn’t ready to admit it yet.”

They both fell quiet as Nesta walked through the door with Elain and Feyre. The first thing Cassian noticed was that she scented of water and salt—tears.

Heart pattering with concern, Cassian quickly scanned Nesta’s expression and body language, searching for clues. But Nesta remained close to her sisters rather than apart, her fingers snagged in Feyre’s, her expression not in tatters but smooth and calm, like still waters.

“Ready to go?” Mor chirped from beside him. “I can winnow you back when Sala arrives.”

Nesta’s grey-blue eyes slid to Mor. “I called her on my way down.”

“Then you have time to see the snowdrops you gave me before you leave,” Elain responded eagerly, tugging at Nesta’s arm. “The cuttings took well to the soil. I planted them beneath the shade of the birch trees near the river.”

Cassian watched Nesta disappear into the garden. Surveyed the way a strand of golden brown hair that had escaped her loose braid floated on the breeze, as if it was part of the element rather than separate, as Elain bent to show her the snowdrops.

Yet despite the clear ease to Nesta’s movements, Cassian couldn’t help but ask Feyre whether everything was okay when she came over to hug him goodbye.

“We’re fine,” Feyre assured him, as together they watched Mor tentatively sit beside Azriel on the couch. For once the Shadowsinger’s shadows didn’t lighten, but Azriel still turned to her, drawn by some magnetism as she began to speak with him.

Slim fingers closed around his. Squeezed. “Thank you for fetching the book of fairytales for Nesta.”

The strand of ebony hair that had wrangled free of Cassian’s hair tie tickled the side of his forehead as he inclined his head. That had been a long time ago, when Nesta was a viper that he dared to poke with a stick, just so he could get a reaction. “Of course.”

“You travelled all that way on barely healed wings just to fetch a book.”

It wasn’t just a book, but Cassian knew Feyre understood that, so he only grunted, “Az took me most of the way. He waited to winnow me back.”

But Feyre’s eyes were burnished, as she asked, “Is there anything you won’t do for my sister?”

“It depends,” Cassian replied honestly. Because although he’d rather die than see Nesta hurt, Cassian wouldn’t hesitate to stand up to her when her fire was ill-wrought. And that’s what he liked about the both of them: if he was an ass Nesta told him straight, and he did the same for her. A grin slashed across his face. “Your sister has claws and teeth when she’s angry.”

It wasn’t long before Sala landed on her four large paws in the garden, prompting goodbyes. Mor winnowed Nesta and Sala, whilst Az’s scarred hand closed around Cassian’s arm.

Together, Cassian and his brother passed through realms of shadows and light and raging wings. Then Illyria was taking shape before Cassian bit by bit: there was the sting of winter on his cheeks, the crunch of snow beneath his feet, the scent of pine and untamed air. It felt like that wonderful first heave of your lungs after being starved from air. It alerted Cassian senses—woke him up.

Not bothering to say goodbye for the second time, Azriel bled straight back into shadow, but Mor raised a hand in a parting wave from where she stood beside Nesta and Sala. Her long golden hair caught on the breeze. It tussled behind her like its own puff of wind, before she vanished into nothing.

When Cassian’s eyes snapped to Nesta, he found her standing with her eyes closed, breathing in the wilderness of their surroundings. After a few beats, Sala jumped onto her hind legs, climbing up Nesta’s body with her snow-crusted paws to knock her head impatiently against Nesta’s.

A breath of laughter clouded in front of her as Nesta ruffled Sala’s ears. She murmured something Cassian couldn't identify in the manticore’s ear, before Sala dropped onto all fours and padded through the snow in the direction of the main camp.

Cassian watched the manticore go. He suspected Sala was going to seek out the widows camp and check everything was in order. It was the kind of thing Nesta would fret about—that whilst she was warm and fed, others might not be extended the same courtesy.

Or, the dark part of his mind whispered, she wants Sala out of the house.

You can fuck me wherever you like in the bungalow, Cassian.

The many needles of thrill pierced through him just as Nesta met his stare from across the snow. Suddenly, Cassian didn’t know what to say. His tongue felt swollen and thick in his mouth, words suddenly as viscous as tar. The atmosphere had altered—the aura surrounding them despite the distance suddenly heavy with promise: a change that pointed to something new.

The siphons on the back of Cassian’s hands glowed in anticipation. Nesta merely raised an eyebrow at him. Turned. Walked towards the house just as he caught the thick scent of jasmine and vanilla on the wind.

Cassian’s nostrils flared as it wound around him; invisible ropes of arousal. And then he was moving, following Nesta’s footprints.

His friends had winnowed them to the back of the house, halfway between the small stone outhouse and the backdoor. They weren’t far from the bungalow, but it felt like miles as Cassian stomped noisily after Nesta, his boots compacting the snow as if they were grinding shards of glass into powder.

When Cassian drew up behind Nesta, she already had a hand half-raised towards the door. Even though he wasn’t touching her, she was a whirlpool of warmth. It sucked him in, begging him to line his torso against her back, so when she cursed, realising she hadn’t taken her gloves off, Cassian didn’t hesitate to reach over her shoulder and rest his palm against the wood, encasing her.

The touch of his bare skin—or Nesta’s—was the key to the magical lock. A thunk sounded as the bolt released but Cassian didn’t push open the door—was too preoccupied with the female before him—who had twisted to stare up at him.

As soon as their gazes snagged, history began to knit together in a rush of thread, until it was a tangible, living thing. Because this moment had been written in the stars as soon as Cassian had seen Nesta in her amethyst dress in the human realm; her hair wielded into a mighty crown, her expression haughty and defiant, yet burning with the potential of a life not yet lived. They’d denied that history, even as it waited patiently in the wings. It had watched as they danced around each other, fumbling and snarling their way to this very moment—

They moved in unison. Cassian’s head bowing just as Nesta reached upwards; her body bowing to his, her palms sliding across his jaw until they were around his neck. Their lips met with a force that rattled Cassian’s bones. This wasn't a brush of a kiss. This was immediate and awakening: Nesta tasted like life and breath, like destiny. And yet again, Cassian knew with startling clarity that they were meant for this, he and Nesta. They were meant for each other and nobody could tell him otherwise, including her.

A soft breath whooshed out of Nesta as her back hit the door, but then Cassian was pushing it open, guiding her inside in a whirlwind of noise and wreckage.

The scrape of wood on the flagstone tiles sounded as Nesta’s back knocked against the table before Cassian turned them, his wings grazing against cupboards and the cool walls. Items clattered and shattered, but Cassian used his wings to keep a check on his surroundings, the touch guiding him to the left-hand wall where he could press her against the wall and devour.

Because Cassian could not tear his mouth from Nesta’s. Couldn’t stop tasting her. Couldn’t stop craving the roll of her tongue and the sound of her guttural moans. It fuelled a fireball inside of him; it roared into life in the centre of his heart, before spreading throughout his limbs, rushing through his body until it settled deep in his groin, aching and burning—screaming for relief.

When they finally hit the wall, the thud of their bodies shook the cabinets and the porcelain within it. Without thinking, Cassian took the brunt of it, his hand flying to cup Nesta's lower back and head to purposefully shield her from the hurt.

Because he was coarse and rippling, galloping towards a primal sort of wilderness that Cassian wasn’t sure he could control.

If Nesta was ignorant to the fact or wholly aware Cassian didn’t know. All he knew was that her hands were scrabbling at his leather like dancing flames, tugging him closer.

When he pressed his body over hers, aligning every inch of her to every inch of him, she whined.

Cassian swallowed it. Slanted his mouth across hers. Tucked his wings in tight as every muscle in him tensed in anticipation.

Nesta tasted of chai and vanilla and embers with a destiny to roar.

Another strangled noise came from her throat as Cassian sank his hands deep into the hair at her scalp, coaxing strands free from her braid as his fingers threading through her hair, just as he had done the night prior when he’d coaxed her to sleep. But this wasn’t a soothing touch. This was a touch to startle every nerve ending to life.

Time began to bleed around them, but Cassian only registered the fluidity of the frantic dance they had not learnt. The way Nesta arched into him as his palm slid back to span her waist. The pant of her breath against his skin. His heaving chest. The way his wings began to spread again of their own volition, like a fan unfolding to reveal a secret pattern—as if they were controlled by nothing but the ache of his cock as it strained against the leather of his pants.

As if in acknowledgement that his body was no longer ruled by him, his hips slanted upwards of their own accord. It was a desperate bid to relieve the ache, and his throat vibrated with a thunderous growl as Nesta dug her nails deeper into the leather of his jacket, using it for leverage as she arched into him.

Something turned further inside of Cassian, like a lock beginning to grind as a key turned. And then it felt as if he were plunging beneath water; ducking into the depths and travelling beneath an invisible barrier before emerging on the other side buoyant and surging with power.

Ruby crashed through his veins, like the walls of a dam broken free and… singing light. Magic roared so loudly in Cassian’s ears that he no longer heard the galloping beat of his heart or the sawing of their breath.

Reeling, he tore his mouth from Nesta’s. Her eyes were just as wide, puddles of startled moonlight—endless mercury—and Cassian didn’t need to look down to know that her hands were wreathed in silver.

For a moment they stared at one another. Time slowed until it was sluggish around them and then the feeling receded, as if Cassian was being carried by a wave as it was dragged unwillingly from the shore on thundering feet.

Sound bled back into Cassian’s ears, like raindrops slowly blotting paper. A moan whispered on a wind carried through him, the words fleeting—her name three times, like always—before they dispersed into nothing and ragged breathing filled the hole.

Fuck, they needed to be careful. He needed to be careful if just kissing her led to some transcendental experience. Cassian knew Nesta became open during sex—had seen tumbled images of tangled limbs and heard her moans—and he couldn’t afford to lose her when she had finally let him in. Couldn’t let her down, even though he wanted nothing more than to finally be found worthy by someone.

That twisted rope between them couldn’t widen and strengthen. Couldn’t finally open and click into place with a consensual snap.

Because Cassian had heard stories of mates who had gone to bed. Who had fleetingly accepted what they wanted in their hearts but not in their minds. And after they had both finished and life had been breathed into that bond, only death could sever their Cauldron-blessed connection.

Cassian would not have a mate with regrets, but he didn’t have the will-power to deny himself of her any longer. Not when he could scent how much Nests wanted him. When he could feel it like an unquenchable ache in his bones—an ache which made him tremble and shake. His rocky warrior exterior ground to nothing but sand.

As if Nesta could read his thoughts she tipped her head back, baring the column of her neck.

A resounding guttural sound dragged from his throat. The noise was animalistic and unchained. A booming crack ricocheted around the walls, the muscles in Cassian’s back burning as his wings snapped outward.

Something toppled from somewhere and crashed to the floor, but Cassian didn’t bother to raise his head to look at what it was.

And then time seemed to both slow and drive into a frenzy. Cassian launched at Nesta’s neck at the same time he tugged at her hair, urging her head to fall back even farther.

His lips were against the column of her throat in the blink of an eye; his teeth scraping, his mouth sucking until her blood pounded in his ears. Nesta’s knees buckled but Cassian quickly pinned her body to the wall, holding her up, his knee sliding firmly between her legs…

And… nothing. There was no panic or sensation of being trapped—no sudden fire launching him back thirty feet—but Cassian still tore his mouth from Nesta’s neck. Had to know she wasn’t panicking. “Ok?” he rasped.

A frown burrowed Nesta’s brows. Her swollen lips parted in confusion. Somehow it made her look more beautiful.

Cassian raised a shaking hand to trace it away. “Nesta. Are you ok?”

Understanding dawned like millions of unfurling petals.

When Nesta spoke she was short of breath, the words an exhale. “Don’t hold back.”

Cassian practically arched into her at the words but he made himself remain still, even as his body vibrated with tension. His bones creaked but he held fast.

That stubborn, beautiful chin lifted and Nesta’s eyes glinted wicked yet pure. Always an oxymoron, his Nesta.

“Don’t hold back,” she repeated, her voice stronger this time. She pushed her hips against his thigh and the friction had her lips parting, a shaky breath tumbling from her lungs. “I can take it.”

The words were like slashing knives of pleasure, severing the leash on any control Cassian thought he had.

The subsequent rush of air Cassian loosed was akin to a snorting horse.

Then he was moving and their mouths were fused together again, their tongues a delicious push and pull of control and pleasure before he yanked away.

“Thank fuck,” he gasped. His hands flew to her hips, guiding her to ride his thigh. “Thank fuck, Nesta.”

The friction had Nesta moaning, her fingernails digging so hard into the leather of his jacket Cassian was sure she had dented the material. But he didn’t care. Didn’t care about anything but the living fervour that clawed at them.

His hands were everywhere at once. Tangled in her hair. Sliding over her cheek. Cupping her ass. Attacking the buttons at the back of her dress, until they popped and scattered. Until he could pull the material down her arms, exposing tantalising creamy skin.

At the first sight of her breasts, Cassian growled. He bowed his head to capture a nipple sharply between his teeth before he laved over it with his tongue, smoothing over the wound. He relished the way Nesta cried out. Arched into him. She began to tear at his jacket. It snagged on his wings but Cassian shrugged it off until it hit the floor with a thud.

The first slide of Nesta’s palms beneath his tunic was like oil sizzling in a pan. Cassian hissed as the callouses of her palms scraped deliciously over his skin and scars and ink. Snarled as she made quick work of the stays and fastenings. Tried to focus on her other breast as she inched her hand beneath the tight leather fabric and eased him free.

Fingers wrapped sinfully around him, causing Cassian to snarl around a peaked nipple—to buck sharply—pressing them more firmly against the wall.

“Don’t bother,” Nesta moaned as Cassian wrenched desperately at the fabric of her dress, trying to coax it further down her body. She ground down onto his thigh as it to emphasise her point—her need—and the heat of her burned.

It was all Cassian needed to hear. He fumbled desperately with her skirts until a hand was under the material and sliding up her thigh. Until fabric ripped and her underwear fell away in what Cassian imagined to be a ripple of lace.

In one swift movement, Cassian lifted Nesta’s body upwards, until her legs were gripped tightly around his hips and her back was flush against the wall. Her hands flew to find purchase, grappling at the back of his neck, and when she was steady she raked her hand purposefully through the hair which had come loose from his tie. Tugged at the leather until his hair fell over his face. Whined. Tangled her fingers through the ebony strands as if they were her reigns.

Cassian splayed the hand that wasn’t supporting her body against the cold wall. Tried to catch his breath, but the position evened out the height between them. Just a slight movement would allow him to capture her lips with his, and Cassian couldn’t deny that demanding tug that drove him to devour. Nesta seemed to feel the same way. Moaned in relief as Cassian tasted her as if he couldn’t get enough, gave back as good as she got. Over and over they moved, until they were nothing but an undulating wave of tongue and teeth and groans. The pleasure was a surging, roiling entity. It was all consuming. It overtook Cassian’s body, demanding that his hand drag from her ass straight to her core.

When his fingers slid through wetness, Cassian’s groan sounded like thunderous defeat. He dropped his head to Nesta’s collarbone. Gently pressed his lips to her clavicle. To her shoulder. Tried to ground himself as he slid straight to the spot that made her keen—as pleasure ignited down the bond like a crashing wave. Brushed over it again and again and again. Relishing in the noises he coaxed from her. At the curling fists of desire that clenched agonisingly inside of him.

Cassian had to see Nesta fall. Had to look into her eyes as she broke.

But he wanted to be inside of her when it happened.

Cassian was reaching for his cock at the same time that Nesta let out a broken moan. “Do it,” she breathed. There was no bite of authority in her voice, as if all of the energy she had directed in the pursuit of pleasure had smoothed over the serrated edge of her personality he loved so much, leaving a softer version in its wake. “Please. Just—”

A satisfied snarl ripped from Cassian as he felt her want. And in that moment, Cassian knew there would be nothing gentle about how this was going to play out. It was going to be rough and frantic, riding a wave of pleasure that had been building for too long. Knew afterwards that they would sink to the cold floor in a mass of tangled limbs and mingled breath.

And Cassian wanted that. Had never wanted release so badly in his life.

Something clambered in the back of his mind. Something he needed to remember, but his limbs were moving of their own volition. He didn’t even bother to pump his cock or squeeze it to relieve the tension. Only cared about finally being inside of her.

The heat and slickness of her was sinful and divine when he lined himself up at her entrance. The hand he had braced against the wall came to span her cheek. It relied on Nesta clamping on tightly to his waist with her legs and the press of his torso against hers, but they managed it.

Shaking, Cassian raked back the hair that had fallen free from her braid back from Nesta’s face, just as she tugged him in for a bruising kiss.

There was a moment when everything paused and trembled. As Nesta pulled away and stared at him, her eyes swimming silver—glowing with it—her pupils obscured.

His magic surged at the sight of it. Crashed against his skin as if it was trying to escape. His siphons burned bloody.

“Cassian,” Nesta panted. Despite the keen desperation, there was cushion to his name. Gently, Nesta bowed her head until her forehead rested against his. The gesture was surprisingly tender. It tugged at his heartstrings, triggered his hips into movement as they finally pushed forward.

The tight heat that wrapped around him like velvet was so immediate that Cassian swore. Sweat trickled down his back and seeped into the tunic Nesta hadn’t gotten round to discarding. He trembled as Nesta’s breath stuttered and he felt the burning pain mixed with pleasure as he sunk in an inch. Felt the stretch of Nesta’s body as it strained to fit around him.

Claws dug into his back—Nesta’s nails—biting into his skin, until the metallic tang of blood infused the air.

Cassian’s body stilled before he even had a second to register that he needed to stop. That instinct buried deep to make sure she never hurt.

And then a knock rapped at the front door.

“No,” Nesta moaned. She shifted her hips and Cassian sank a little deeper. That pain flared again through the pleasure and Cassian grip on her turned vice like.

Sense stumbled into his desire addled brain, like a fawn on gangly legs.

But then it righted itself.

Another sharp rap at the door cleared his head completely.

He bowed to bury his face in the crook of her neck but Nesta whined. Tilted her hips again, urging him deeper. “Nesta, stop.”

“No.” Her whimper was doused in frustration, but all Cassian could feel was that sharp needle of pain.

He tried to pull back, but Nesta clamped down around him with that incredible strength of hers. The strength that only seemed to appear at times of desperation or anger.

Cassian’s jaw flexed, his features hardening. “I’m hurting you.”

“You’re not,” Nesta countered, defiance colouring her expression.

“I am,” Cassian retorted, not allowing for a passing beat of their hearts to pass before he replied. “I’m hurting you. Don’t pretend that I’m not.”

I can feel it, Cassian wanted to explain, but didn’t. Knew somehow that if he did they might not end up joining at all.

Desire fogged Nesta’s mind and it fuelled the punch to her next words. “I don’t care.”

Ire punched through Cassian’s desire enough for him to see red. “Well, I do,” he snapped.

Nesta’s nostrils flared at his tone and her eyes burned silver. Cassian wondered how everything had gone southward so quickly—they were on a sinking ship and he needed to patch it up. Knew she felt rejected. So, he kissed her and pushed back that unquenchable ache he felt for her. Knew it hit home because she gasped softly into his mouth, her surprise tart on his tongue.

He pulled out. As soon as his cock fell free that pain throbbed and ebbed. But Nesta moaned all the same.

Moaned again as he drew his head back to stare at her.

She surprised him when her eyes remained open rather than closed off. There was no hard shield. Nothing but want and a vulnerability that made his heart squeeze.

It gave him the courage to do the right thing.

He kissed her again. Trailed a thumb across her swollen lips, ignoring the desire that roared as Nesta sucked it into her mouth, her tongue darting across the top before the bit down lightly.

“This is how things are going to go,” Cassian murmured lowly, pulling his thumb out of her mouth and across her jawline, trailing the wetness all the way to the sensitive spot behind her ear. Nesta shuddered.

“I’m going to get the door and send whoever it is away,” Cassian continued. He paused to let the words sink in. Lowered his head to trace a path with his nose, up the slope of her shoulder, all the way up her neck until his lips were grazing the shell of her ear. “You will go to your bedroom. When they’re gone, I’ll find you.”

Another shiver coursed through Nesta’s body. Her fingers tightened around his neck.

When Nesta next spoke, Cassian knew he’d piqued her interest. “What then?” she demanded.

“Then I’m going to make you come until you see stars.”

Nesta’s entire body froze. For a long moment, she didn’t so much as breathe, but Cassian felt the throb of her blood and magic as it pounded against her skin.

Then, Nesta’s hands worked between them, until her small palms were splayed across his chest. She pushed firmly, indicating that she wanted to get her down. Her body slithered to the floor, her lean legs falling away from his body.

The sudden distance between them felt like miles.

Nesta lifted her chin. “Hurry or I’ll start without you.”

A breath heaved at Cassian’s lungs and he felt his pupils contract, pushing out his irises until they were swallowed by black. The image of Nesta sprawled on the bed wearing nothing but skin, her legs open, a hand moving between her legs had that coil within him tightening to the point of pain.

A growl spiked through the air as another knock sounded at the door.

Nesta must have known she’d wrangled back control, because she arched a cool eyebrow at him.  “I thought you were going to answer the door?”

A dark chuckle forced its way out of his chest, but it was mechanical rather than true. Because there was nothing funny about resisting Nesta right now and his body seemed to know that.

Cassian reached for her before he knew what was happening. Rested his forehead against hers. Breathed once. Twice. “I need to calm down,” he confessed.

Nesta snickered, but the sound fell flat as her breath hitched upwards at the end. It betrayed the effect he had on her, even as she said silkily, “Did the image of me pleasuring myself get you hard?”

“I was already hard,” he growled. He pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth. “As you well know.”

A hand reached between them. Stroked over him—the touch feather light but tantalising enough that Cassian bucked into her touch.

And then cunning words, “Maybe I’ll let you watch.”

A string of swear words left Cassian’s mouth. He yanked back from Nesta, as if someone had tugged firmly on a leash. Tugged up his pants and jerked ruthlessly at the ties until they fastened, trapping his cock back into the leather.

With a growl, Cassian waved a hand towards the living room—to Nesta’s room to the right of it. “Leave before I fuck you against the wall, Nesta,” he barked.

Nesta’s sly laugh skittered over his skin, and without pulling her dress back up to cover herself, Nesta sashayed through the nearest arch and disappeared.

*** It had been Mas and Roksana at the door, laden with bags full of groceries and supplies from the market. With full access to the house, there was no reason why they shouldn’t have just come right in. Which meant Mas had suspected somehow, enough so that she had left the bags on the front step and remained standing with Roksana a few feet back.

“I am sorry Sinta, but the meat might spoil,” the housekeeper had apologised as soon as he’d opened the door, his hair a tangled mess from where Nesta had yanked it free of its tie. He hadn’t had the sense to recover it from the floor, but he had righted his tunic and fastened his pants.

And thank the Cauldron for that, because Roksana peeked up at Cassian with wide eyes from her position of safety behind Mas’s legs. He didn’t know when Lorrian had brought the youngling back to the camp, but Cassian guessed it hadn’t been easy on the two of them to take a little girl out of the warmth and back into the snow.

Cassian tried to soften the eyes that he knew were a little wild. He raked his hands through his hair and sent them his most disarming smile, but there was fuck all he could do about his scent. So he thanked her, trying to keep his voice light and conversational. Ordered her to take the rest of the day off.

To the housekeeper’s credit, she did not linger. Had merely nodded and rushed Roksana back into the snow, towards the main vein of the camp.

Yet, whilst the housekeeper’s interruption had been unwanted, it did grant Cassian some breathing space as he rammed perishables into the cool box. Because even though Cassian would allow Nesta to decide how this all played out, he needed to lay down a rule of his own: he could give her the space to decide what she wanted—for him to prove that he could be what she needed—but there was one thing he could not suffer through.

And if they had stormed ahead in a hurricane of lust; with Nesta’s back against the wall as Cassian pounded into her… Well, it would be too late for Cassian to lay down his one condition once they were sweaty and sated. Nesta was more likely to get up and walk away. To not look back.

Cassian found Nesta sitting at the dresser in her room re-braiding back her hair.

Leaning against the doorjamb, Cassian opened his mouth to explain who had been at the door, but an iron band closed fast around his chest, robbing him of breath.

“What are you wearing?” The words came out of him eventually, entirely uneven to the point of being choked.

Because Nesta was wearing his shirt. It was the same steel blue shirt she’d worn that first day in Illyria. The shirt that was an identical match to her eyes, purchased before Cassian had realising what his subconscious had done. A shirt he’d had to hide away in the spare room because Cassian hadn’t been able to bare seeing it in his closet—of being reminded that his mate was a ghost who had banished him away.

Go home, Cassian.

Nesta met Cassian's eyes in the mirror. Announced with cool simplicity, “You ripped my dress.”

“And this is your way of torturing me?”

An indifferent shrug. “Why wear my own clothing when I know what fate it will suffer?”

Cassian knew his nostrils billowed, but he remained propped up against the doorframe. Pretended he was stuck to it like glue because his body was trembling for him to launch across the distance and claim her mouth. Her neck. Her.

The silence seemed to unnerve Nesta. Cassian knew that from months of living with her. From months of studying her slight tells when her masks slipped.

Right on cue, Nesta reset her posture—a gesture that most people read as defiant. But Cassian knew it was also a sign of nerves. She shrugged with feigned indifference, even as her throat tightened and that damned pulse fluttered temptingly against her throat. “You liked it the last time I wore it.”

Cassian huffed a breath. He had liked it the last time she wore it, even if she’d been so gaunt that he’d worried she might wither away. But the shirt… it had put images in his mind that Cassian had long tried to store away, imprisoned in rock and flame: her in his clothing, not fucking other males but him, her lithe legs wrapping around his waist as he sank deep—

Which brought Cassian neatly to the point he needed to discuss with her…

Nesta’s eyes tracked Cassian in the mirror as he peeled himself out of the doorway and came to stand behind her. When their eyes locked into place, it felt as if someone had punched him in the chest. There was something deep in Nesta’s gaze that made it feel as if he was tumbling down a rabbit hole, that magnetism between them drawing him in like gravity.

When Cassian’s fingers brushed Nesta’s neck—ran down the braid she had draped over her shoulder—Nesta shivered. “You had your hair down then,” he rasped. Didn’t wait for her to protest, as he slowly coaxed the tie free from the end of her hair.

Nesta turned preternaturally still, watched him gently part her hair in the mirror until it fell free from her plait, his calloused fingers brushing over her skin as he coaxed her hair to fall down her back.

The pulse hammering at her throat and the warmth radiating from her skin were the only indications that Nesta was alive rather than stone.

Only when Cassian had finished and lifted his hands from her neck, did Nesta come back to life.

Her throat bobbed as she swallowed. But she cocked her head slightly to dissect him. “It’s a nuisance like this. It gets in the way.”

“It’s beautiful,” Cassian corrected, his voice rasping, like sand scraping against skin. He ran a hand through her hair as if to emphasise his point, his fingers running down, down, down until her waist.

When Nesta stood and turned into the warmth of him, Cassian scented what she wanted. But there was something else simmering in her expression—surprise. As if she’d caught the truth in his words and hadn’t expected someone to truly think her beautiful.

She stepped closer, until the lines of her torso ghosted his. Until Cassian’s heart pounded so hard he could hear the frantic tempo of it in his ears. Nesta tilted her head back so she could stare up at him and Cassian’s hand weaved through the mane of her hair before he could stop himself.

He was desperate to touch her again. Desperate.

But Cassian waited. Waited for Nesta to reach up on tiptoes and press her mouth to his.

The kiss was not like their bruised, desperate kisses from earlier. It was coaxing and unsure; the tentative beginning of something that was not merely fuelled by ardour. But it soon blossomed into something more, like a snowball rolling down a mountain blanketed white, gaining speed as it grew and grew—

Dragging his mouth away from hers, Cassian fought for breath. Battled to remember what he needed to do and say. But then Nesta was tugging his head back down again, her fingers tangled in his hair, the gesture indicative of an insistent need that Cassian knew would not go away.

As always, Nesta tasted divine. Addictive. He could taste the curl of her power on his tongue—silver and white, life and death—and he wondered if she could taste his. Knew his siphons were glowing scarlet—

“Nesta,” he murmured hoarsely, her name a caress against her lips. He couldn’t invoke a distance between them, couldn’t stop touching her. His nose brushed hers as her drew back an infinitesimal amount. Closed his eyes. Inhaled deeply, summoning courage. “You can dictate how this goes between us. But if we do this, I can’t—there’s no-one else. Just you and me.”

The subsequent pause was one of the worst of Cassian’s life. It was barely a breath. The blink of an eye. But it felt as if it was malleable and elastic, drawn out by the hands of fate as everything suspended in time.

He didn’t want to open his eyes, but in the end he managed it. Caught Nesta’s eyelashes flutter downwards, casting shadows on her skin. Her fists tightened in the fabric of his tunic, anchoring him to the moment.

She swallowed. Shook her head. Agreed with a conviction he had not been expecting, “No-one else.”

The relief that swooped through Cassian was so fierce it was painful. But he still didn’t dare to believe it.

He caught her chin between his thumb and forefinger so Nesta could not look away. So he could look into the deep waters of her irises and know she was telling him the truth.

But her gaze was steady and unwavering, as he demanded, “Say it again.”

His voice cracked but Nesta didn’t appear to notice. Her grip on him tightened. “No-one else,” she repeated on an outward breath.

A low, ravaged moan sounded from Cassian’s throat. “Diyosa,” he murmured, slipping into Illyrian. Goddess.

“Bruha,” Nesta corrected. She fumbled over the pronunciation but Cassian felt as if he had been an ember that had burst into flame. Witch.

He let out a rough bark of laughter. Then he swore in a long, drawn out moan. “No Illyrian,” he ordered roughly. Pressed his mouth firmly against hers, the kiss searing. “Otherwise this will be over far too quickly.” Another kiss. “And I want to take my time.”

The smile Nesta painted against Cassian’s lips was feline. “You’ve made a lot of promises, General. I hope you don’t disappoint.”

Cassian snarled. Spun her body until her back was cradled against his chest. “I have, haven’t I?” he mused lightly, even though the hammering of his heart must have beat a betraying rhythm against her shoulder blade.

In the mirror, Nesta’s expression grew less poised and controlled. Delight mixed with anticipation clung to her features at this game they played; this tussle for control. She did not try to wrangle free from his hold or shift uncomfortably in his arms at having her back enclosed against his.

It thrilled him—that trust. Enough so that when he met her eyes in the mirror, Cassian found that his irises had been swallowed by his pupils until they were only a ring of chocolate gold.

Slowly, Cassian brushed Nesta’s hair over to one shoulder with his left hand. Traced his fingers down the arc of her neck to her collarbone. Continued a path down the centre of her chest, to the pyrite which glittered between her breasts.

When his fingers met the first button of his shirt, Cassian toyed with it. Purposefully grazed his nose against the shell of her ear. “Shall I start here?” he murmured. “Undress you in front of the mirror whilst you watch?”

Nesta suppressed a shudder, but Cassian caught it. Could swear he felt her blood boiling beneath her skin as he slipped the button free of its hole. Then another. And another. Until there were no more buttons and the material hung free.

Leaning back into his body, Nesta rested her head against his chest. Curved her back slightly so her chest thrust upwards, silently instructing him where she wanted his hands.

And Cassian couldn’t deny her. He turned his palm so it was face up and curled into a loose fist. Brushed his knuckles down her sternum all the way to her bared naval, before bringing it back up. His fingers ran up the side of the material free of buttons, until he was at her collarbone—her shoulder—leaving a litter of goosebumps in his wake.

This time, Cassian snickered when she shivered. Dropped a slow and deliberate kiss to her bare shoulder as he slowly, slowly inched the material down, down, down over her arm. Repeated the motion on the other, until the shirt pooled onto the floor, exposing her bare body to the mirror: endless creamy skin, divine curves, the luscious full weight of her bare breasts, and… lower.

Nesta’s eyes, which had been tracking the fabric as it fell away, snapped to his as a feral growl ripped from him. And she moaned at the expression on his face. Grabbed at his hands, pulling them to her body.

“Touch me,” Nesta hissed, but it came out strangled. Almost pleading. Another crack in her armour as it broke and fell away.

The sight was enough to threaten Cassian to his knees. He guided her body backwards, his hands splaying firmly across her stomach despite her whine, until his legs hit the edge of the mattress

Neither of them broke eye contact in the mirror. Not when Cassian coaxed Nesta down to sit on the bed with him. Not when he pulled her between his legs, her back firmly against his chest. Not when he bowed his head to kiss the slope between her neck and shoulder.

When Cassian finally brushed a thumb over her nipple, Nesta back bowed so fiercely Cassian was thankful he had an arm strapped across her stomach.

The small noise she loosed fuelled his fire and Cassian held on to her. Stroked over that peaked nipple again as Nesta careened into his touch. Followed it with a firmer roll with his thumb and forefinger. Used the fingertips of his other hand to draw slow, tantalising circles across the silken skin of her lower stomach, before he moved southwards…

The air around them hushed when Cassian’s fingers stilled. Anticipation built and only when it vibrated with tension did Cassian slide his hands to cradle Nesta’s hips.

A snarl of frustration, but Cassian paid the sound no heed. Only grazed his thumbs over Nesta’s hipbones. Watched her expression in the mirror—the way her face contorted as she squirmed into his touch as if she was a puppet on strings. Ground back onto him, pressing into that building ache that was bordering on painful.

Fuck, Nesta.

Cassian wasn’t sure if he had spoken out loud or in his head, all he knew was the blessed, fleeting relief he felt as he bucked into the small of Nesta’s back on instinct. He was rock hard and thirsting to be touched, but the thickening scent of Nesta’s arousal pulled his focus.

A groan rumbled from Cassian’s throat as Nesta’s hand darted between her legs. He caught her wrist just in the nick of time. Kissed the heart of her palm. Rumbled into her ear, “Not yet, sweetheart.”

His voice was coarse enough that Nesta shivered, the goosebumps travelling down her skin like a cresting wave. She didn’t struggle against him, nor did she move to disobey him as he dropped her wrist. Instead, she waited, trembling and shaking at every pass of his thumbs over her skin.

Cassian buried his nose behind the shell of her ear. Breathed Nesta in, steadying the drum of his pulse.

Not once did he take his eyes off of hers in the mirror, especially as he murmured, “Shall we find out if you’re wet for me?”

Nesta squeezed her eyes tightly shut, as if the movement would steady her. Swallowed hard. It was so unlike her to take stock, to show any signs that she was rattled, that Cassian softened. He nuzzled at her neck, trailed a line of kisses instilled with promises. A hand flew up to tangle in Cassian’s hair, keeping him there.

“Yes.”

The word stuttered out of Nesta on several staccatos, but she forced her eyes open and met his gaze in the mirror. Watched as he pulled her tighter against him and hooked her legs over his thighs so she was spread wide. Slipped his hand across and down…

The first ghost of a touch had Nesta panting through her nose. The second had her gritting her teeth. The third had her moaning, her back bowing so sharply as he skimmed straight over the place she wanted him the most.

Her head hit the centre of his chest with a resounding thud that had his bones creaking, but she did not look away from him. Seemed to know the game they were playing without him having to express it.

When Cassian brought his fingers lower and discovered just how wet Nesta was, he had to force his wings in tight to his back to hide his surprise. Growled, “You’re soaked.”

Pleasure and embarrassment twisted in Cassian’s stomach, and Cassian wanted to tell her that it was not something to be ashamed of, that he wanted her just as much as she clearly wanted his fingers between her legs.

Her eyes glinted steel, her stare commanding. “Make me come—“ she ordered, but Cassian chose that moment to roll his finger over that spot at the apex of her thighs.

The command bottomed out of Nesta as she inhaled sharply. Satisfaction bloomed inside of Cassian; because he may have done this countless times before but barely enough with her. And nothing seemed to matter apart from him seeking out her satisfaction. Of learning about what made her body freeze with pleasure and what made her come undone. “There?” he murmured into her ear, repeating the movement, before he passed his fingers down further. Until they were at her entrance, playing gently before he drew upwards and circled.

This time, Nesta groaned. Her hips jerked sharply beneath him, tilting, guiding him to just the right place.

Picking up on the cue, Cassian increased the tempo and friction until Nesta’s hips were rolling in a punishing rhythm against the hard length of him.

And Cassian snarled in satisfaction, his fingers tightening around her hip in a plea for her to keep moving—to not stop pushing back on him—because it was blissfully good. The rapid tightening in his groin was almost painful, the cord so tight that Cassian thought it might snap. But he couldn’t stop Nesta, not when she looked so bewitching, the arousal so stark on her face as he stroked and circled and pressed.

Burning pleasure clambered to its peak and Nesta’s eyes grew so heavy they fluttered closed. Something unintelligible left her lips, her head tipping back into the heart of his chest.

When Nesta’s arms wound around his neck, her knuckles accidentally grazing the leather of his wings, Cassian part-snarled, part-roared. Swore. Held her even tighter as his wings snapped out high and mighty behind him. They wrapped around Nesta’s body before Cassian’s pleasure-fogged mind could stop them curling towards her, starved for her touch.

Fuck, he was unhinged. So desperate for relief—in the scent and feel of his mate—that his control was barely there. Enough so that he didn’t react when Nesta reached out her hand—

Sense knocked Cassian for six only when Nesta’s fingers were millimetres from touching the membrane. He drew back his wings so fast  the air around them stormed, but he swooped in before surprise could register on Nesta’s face. Dipped his chin and coaxed her head even further back so he could claim her mouth.

The taste of her lips was as vital as breathing, the scrape of her nails on his scalp grounding. He moaned into her mouth at the same time as she whimpered. His hand was still moving between her legs, interchanging the same three patterns over and over again, mixing things up as soon as Nesta’s moans grew too untamed: he wanted to draw out her pleasure, not sate it with a few choice strokes.

Pulling away, Cassian pressed a kiss to her forehead. Coaxed her to dip her chin until she was looking back at their reflection in the mirror: ebony and golden brown, tan and cream.

Nesta’s irises were wisps of silver, but when he traversed past that bundle of nerves so he could slip two fingers inside of her, they flickered into living flame.

That was indication enough that she liked what he was doing. Cassian had quickly learnt that Nesta became completely readable between the sheets, that mask slowly crumbling away until she broke completely.

Curving his fingers as much as he could, Cassian pressed upwards hard—again and again— revelling in the strangled sounds Nesta made. The way she writhed but tried her best to hold his gaze.

Cassian dropped a lingering kiss to the crown of Nesta’s head. Murmured into her hair, “Is that good, sweetheart?”

The only response Cassian received was a long moan which extended into a whine as he withdrew his fingers. Then a sharp cry as he swept them upwards, swirling them in a well-practiced motion that had Nesta’s lower half seizing in pleasure.

Cassian circled again. Again. Firmer. Faster. Nesta’s cries grew louder, her breathing became more laboured. A silver wreathed hand flew to his forearm—not to stop him, but to keep him there.

Don’t stop. Don’t stop. Don’t stop.

The bond between them creaked and cracked as it expanded.

Nesta panted his name.

“Are you going to come for me, sweetheart?” Cassian scratched out.

In vain, Nesta attempted to burrow her head into his shoulder, but Cassian’s voice dropped out of soft and into the role of general within the fraction of a heartbeat. “Eyes on the mirror, Nesta, or I’ll stop.”

It seemed to take all of Nesta’s energy to fight her leaded eyelids and meet his dark eyes in their reflection. When she did, Cassian’s magic roared and pounded beneath his skin, as if it was trying to break free and join Nesta’s. There was a pressure and power fuelling the sensation that was separate to him. It was like the magnetic force which rules the relentless ebb and flow of the tide—that desperate crash followed by a scrabbling, thundering retreat.

That twisted rope between them grew corporeal, tugging at their ribcages as if it was clambering to remind them both of its existence. Of the cost of this exchange.

Something deepened in both of their gazes, but if Nesta had felt what Cassian had, she gave no indication. She only arched her hips back into his, grinding backwards.

Cassian loosed a rough groan that skittered across the shell of her ear. Her gaze was purposeful but hooded, as if she was in a continual battle with the pleasure weighting her eyelids.

“Good girl,” he praised as Nesta’s eyelashes fluttered from the strain of maintaining eye contact. And then his fingers were everywhere at once and Nesta’s moans fell away to short gasps that rose in volume.

Nesta tightened her fingers around his neck, scrabbling for purchase, for some sort of tether as her pleasure launched high into the air. The hand that had been at her hip, steadying her, encouraging her to roll back on him moved to her breast; cupping and pinching and rolling as she stuttered pants and words that Cassian couldn’t make out.

When Cassian slid two fingers inside of her again and pressed down firmly on her clit with his palm, Nesta’s cry was wild.

“Look at me,” Cassian ordered as Nesta’s eyes flew shut. His voice was resonant—startling—even to him. It punched through the bubble that had encased them—their entwined scent—and Nesta’s eyes snapped open.

For a beat, time seemed to stand still around them. Their gaze fastened back into place and for a moment, Cassian could see a conflict of thoughts swirl in the magic of Nesta’s irises.

He froze just as anguish crashed down that bond, right into the heart of his chest.

It knocked the breath from him. Confusion rattled inside of his head but he came up empty of answers. Had he gone too far? Had he hurt her somehow?

“Sweetheart—“ he started, but stopped. Unsure of what to say because he could still smell how much she wanted this. Could feel how soaked she was. But perhaps that was what the mating bond did. Fooled reason with an overwhelming drive to pleasure and claim.

Cassian went to draw his hand away but Nesta’s hand whipped out, her fingers curling around his wrist. Desperation flooded her next words—the plea in them stark. “Don’t stop.”

As if to punctuate her point, she rolled her hips. His fingers slid over her of her own accord and she stumbled a moan. Light barrelled down the bond and Cassian’s blood spiked, thrilled as he felt the truth of her words, as she ground back into him again.

“Fuck that feels good,” Cassian grunted into her ear. His hips pushed into the small of her back, accentuating his point. It chased the delicious reprieve from the ache in his cock, even as he knew this moment wasn’t about him. As he pulled her back into the solid muscle of his chest, steadying her movements so he could pick up where he left off: so he could watch the pleasure whip away her conflicted expression until her eyes were once again blazing with the promise of flame.

Silver mist climbed from Nesta’s fingertips into the air. It crawled over the glowing ruby siphons across the backs of his hands, past the corded muscle of his forearm and the rolled up sleeves of his tunic, to his chest, his neck…

A sheen of metal shone in Cassian’s eyes, flickering across his irises so they appeared to turn a metallic gold. The lick of Nesta’s magic didn’t burn. It was a rush of heat—the tender caress of a lover’s kiss instilled into his skin over and over again, ascending Cassian to another realm of pleasure, as if he’d climbed a staircase to an entirely new place.

It felt like an extended method of foreplay Cassian had never been privy to before, lighting up every nerve ending until he was so hard he could cut stone.

Gritting his teeth through the pain-cloaked pleasure, Cassian focussed instead on Nesta’s bare skin.

The tempting fullness of her breasts. The way desire had completely rewritten her countenance. The way she whimpered and then cried out.

Cassian sped up his movements. Until his fingers were no longer teasing, but dancing over her with sure, quick movements designed to thrust her towards a crescendo.

Nesta’s magic swirled into flame, the heat of it a licking promise down Cassian’s limbs. He groaned, swore at the exquisite pain on her face as she hung at the precipice, ready to plummet into rapture.

Her climax became a tangible, living thing and Cassian wanted to see it play out for as long as he possible could. Wanted to see her break for him again and again and again.

So, he waited until she reached the summit and when she was there he slowed down his movements. Ordered through her whimpering, “Look at me Nesta.”

Metallic irises met his, and then Nesta was trembling and shaking in fits and bursts as her release ripped out of her like a taut cord cut loose. Cassian drew her orgasm out as best he could, suspending that pleasure until finally Nesta slumped against him, spineless.

She turned her head to bury it in his shoulder and Cassian let her. Stroked her hair. Pressed a kiss to her sweaty head. Murmured, “Good?”

Slowly, Nesta nodded, but for a long while, that was the only communication he received. But Cassian let her recover. Watched the way her ribcage moved as she heaved for breath. Relished the way her body was splayed out over him, her legs held wide open from where they were hooked over his thighs.

Unable to help himself, Cassian brushed over her sex. Delighted in the way Nesta shuddered rather than batted him away. Fresh desire reignited across her expression and Cassian played gently for a few minutes, revelling in the wetness that had gathered from her release.

Finally, Nesta lifted her head to meet his gaze again. “Did I burn you?”

“No,” Cassian replied hoarsely, his heart squeezing at the genuine fear in her words. He let out a rough laugh, passed his fingers lightly over the knot at the apex of her legs for the last time before he withdrew them.

Nesta moaned softly, even as her brow twisted into a small frown.

“It felt good,” Cassian elaborated. He kissed her shoulder at the same time that he pushed his hips into hers as if to demonstrate just how much he’d liked her magic. “I’m being strangled to death in these pants,” he confessed.

When Nesta cocked her head, her hair moved in a golden tangle. Then she smirked. Unravelled her limbs from him and turned.

Nesta slung her legs over his waist so she was straddling him just as Cassian’s hands caught in her hair. A booming sounded as his wings snapped out and fanned behind him, settling like falling fabric.

“We can’t have that,” Nesta remarked, her breath a whisper against his skin.

“No,” Cassian agreed roughly. “It’s your favourite part.”

Nesta snorted a laugh, but it was not derisive. “Egotistical bat,” she muttered.

A slow, smug smile was Cassian’s only reply. Because he was more focussed on her mouth. With the feel of her silken skin beneath his palms as he ran them up her legs and over her rounded ass. His touch was a promise as he tugged her into his body and ground up into her core, the seam of his trousers doing nothing to relieve the damning ache in his cock.

Together they gasped, and then, as always, they moved at the same time, their mouths slanting one another within a fraction of a second.

The heat of Nesta was liquid, the touch of her smoke—feverish and everywhere all at once. It was the same heat that had roared into existence when Cassian had pinned her against the wall earlier, yet… better somehow. Passionate and awake rather than fogged with lust. Life-giving.

A shuddered groan was pulled from Cassian’s chest as Nesta’s hands slid beneath his tunic and met his burning skin. And then the tunic was on the floor—the rest of his clothing was torn from him soon after. It all happened at such speed Cassian could barely keep up, but when Nesta reached for his bare, burning skin—the tattoos on his arms and the faint scar on his stomach—her fingers were gentle.

“Battle scar,” Cassian panted in explanation, as Nesta’s fingers lingered on the silvery tissue that wound over his lower abdomen: a permanent reminder of what had happened to him during the final battle with Hybern. “The trauma was too great for Madja to heal completely.”

“I remember,” Nesta replied shortly and she looked so fierce that Cassian reached for her. Cupped her cheek with his palm.

“Still breathing, Nes.”

Nesta nodded, but when she kissed him this time there was something fierce and desperate about it, her fingers burying deeper into the mane of his hair.

And then a hand was trailing down his skin and closing around his cock. The touch was sinful and a glimpse of the heavens. When he hissed into her mouth, Nesta gripped tighter—until pain laced the pleasure—just how he liked it.

His groan was that of rumbling thunder as she began to move her hand. It was everything Cassian needed, but it was too much, too good. He scrambled to hold on to some sense of control, because he’d never been this close to losing it from just a few touches.

Then Nesta stopped. Glanced downwards—

The realisation thumped through Cassian so loudly his heartbeat punched like a fist against his ribcage.

“Don’t you dare,” Cassian choked out.

Nesta’s eyes shot to his, but rather than looking startled she arched a challenging eyebrow.

“If you so much as try to put my cock in your mouth I’ll explode,” Cassian rasped.

Before she could protest, he was gathering her to him and had slipped a hand down between her legs.

Just the touch of his fingers had Cassian seizing back control. Nesta stilled at the sudden pleasure, as if she was trying to coax time into suspending the sensation.

“Still so wet,” Cassian purred against the tip of her ear.

Gliding his fingers over the centre of her, Cassian paused briefly at the apex of her legs, toying with her clit, before he ran them back down. When he drew his fingers back, rubbing them together and raising them to the faelight, they glittered.

Nesta’s nostrils flared as if she was an animal in heat. And Cassian knew before he spoke that his voice? would be what pushed them over the edge. But he said it anyway, his voice dropping impossibly low,  “Is this all for me?”

Nesta launched at him until their mouths collided, until they were nothing but a clash of teeth and tongues, their skin so flush they may as well have been fused together.

Burying her fingers deeper into the tangled mane of his hair, Nesta tugged sharply. Met his gaze head on. Demanded, “Fuck me.”

All it took was those two words. Cassian moved, flipping them so Nesta’s back was flush against the mattress. He covered her body with his and Nesta whined at the contact, her body bending and arching towards him as if she were a plant and he was sunlight.

Cassian ran a hand up her bare thigh to her ass, coaxing her leg to bend, but Nesta was too impatient. She broke free from the weight of his body, repositioning herself until legs were wrapped tightly around his hips.

An uneven laugh choked out of him. “So stubborn,” Cassian chided darkly, but he allowed his hips to fall into the cradle of hers. Hissed as he loosed his control and thrust so his cock could glide through her centre. “Fuck,” he grunted. “Nesta, fuck.”

Nesta’s breathy whine fuelled the sparks of pleasure that crackled through him like static energy. He kissed her hard. “There’s a high probability I won’t survive this.”

The snort Nesta loosed tried to sound unaffected, but her voice shook as she accused him, “Liar.”

But he wasn’t lying. And Nesta knew it. She had to know it because his walls were now shattered around them in splintered shards.

Yet, Cassian found himself assuring her. “Not lying," he grunted as he passed over her again. Pressed a lingering kiss to her mouth—a parting goodbye as he moved to kiss the underside of her jaw, down the column of her throat. Down further, to flick his tongue and scrape his teeth over both nipples.

He moaned when she moaned; their sounds a chorus of want until he couldn’t take it anymore. Cassian’s claws clipped around the metal of the bed frame at the same time that he pushed off of the palms that were framing her face, until he was on his knees before her.

Despite the desire coursing through him, Cassian’s head was nothing but clear as he slid his hands under Nesta’s ass and lifted her effortlessly, positioning her so that the undersides of her thighs were flush against his knees.

Nesta’s hair was tousled over the pillow, her lips swollen and parted as she surveyed him. When she tried to wrap her legs back around his hips, Cassian held firm. And despite the fact that Nesta listened to nobody, she allowed him to bend her knees and press his calloused palms to the insides of her thighs in silent instruction.

They fell open and a growl rumbled in Cassian’s throat. His hand was fisting his cock, lining it up to her entrance before he knew what was happening. But then he remembered the pain from before. And even though Nesta was more than ready for him, the thought of hurting her made him feel physically sick.

When he moved away, Nesta let out a strangled noise. A hand shot out, closing around his wrist. “You said you’d fuck me.”

Cassian wanted to explain, but that meant alluding to that tie between them, that instinct that couldn’t allow him to see her hurt. Cassian knew Nesta wasn’t ready for that. Knew that if he so much as breathed a word about it that this precious moment would fall away.

And Cassian was selfish. He had to see how this played out. Had to know if Nesta could grow to accept the bond between them—deem him worthy enough to accept something that was Cauldron blessed.

So, he only drawled, “Patience is a virtue, sweetheart.”

One swift movement had Cassian gathering Nesta into his arms. This time, he allowed Nesta’s legs to wind around him. She gripped him like a vice and Cassian knew it wasn’t from fear of him dropping her. When he sat back against the headboard and guided her onto his lap, Cassian expected her to bite out a comment about doing all of the work, but Nesta only let out a pleased sound. Weaved a hand back into his ebony hair. Wrapped a tight fist around his length, twisting once at the tip, before she guided him to her entrance.

Cassian hissed a curse as she closed around the head. Murmured her name into her mouth. Gripped tightly at her hips when she didn’t stop sinking down on him, as he felt that pain mixed with the sweetest pleasure.

“Nesta.” The way he said her name was firm and commanding, but he still had to dig his fingers hard enough into her skin that he was sure it would leave temporary bruises. The thought made him falter, but then that sharp pain flared again as she resisted against him, and he knew that the bruises were a necessary evil. “Nesta,” he barked, “Go slowly.”

Something creaked and cracked between them. A stretching, growing pain reached its fingers down that bond, the sensation strong rather than constricted as it fought to make its way down their usually thin tie.

Nails dug into Cassian’s neck. A whimper sounded in his ears as Nesta fell forwards, burying her face into his neck. “Please,” she whined in frustration. “Cassian—”

She broke off as she clamped down around him and Cassian felt an ebb of pleasure cut through the pain—that promise of something more.

“Don’t make me hurt you, sweetheart,” Cassian pleaded and the rawness in his voice stopped her resisting against him. He eased a hand between them, touched her right where she wanted him. Allowed her to tug his face upwards so she could kiss him. It was infused with desperation and Cassian eased his hold on her hip. Allowed her to lower herself downwards until she had slid another inch deeper. Continued to stroke her until Nesta began to shake.

“I’m going to—,” Nesta gasped against his mouth. Her body trembled and Cassian’s blood roared at bringing her to the edge again so soon, despite the pain. “Cassian—”

Abruptly, Cassian moved his hand away.

Nesta’s snarl whipped around the room, but Cassian smoothed the sound away by fusing his mouth on hers. She stopped shaking but the sharp bite of Nesta’s glare pierced its teeth through his flesh in a flash of silver.

“It will be better if you wait,” Cassian gritted out in explanation when they parted. Nesta’s breath gusted against his skin. “And I don’t think I can hold on if you come so soon. You feel so good, Nesta. So tight.”

As if on cue, Nesta contracted around him and Cassian ground his teeth together so hard that the muscle in his jaw worked. But he let Nesta slide down on him another inch. Then another. And another. Until their hips were finally flush with one another and that pain had bled away until it was nothing.

The moaned words that fell from Nesta were indistinguishable, but he felt her tremor. Felt that surge inside of him as Nesta repeated herself with a whine that indicated she was toppling over the ledge of control, like a glass teetering before it fell.

And then she was moving and Cassian let her. He was unable to think or breathe. Could only focus on the feel of her.

“Fuck,” Cassian groaned. His head thunked back hard against the headboard as she ground her hips into his, testing the feel of him. “This is better than I’d dreamed.”

No soft snicker, only an untamed whine. Then teeth scraping a sinful path down his neck to his pulse.

Cassian’s hips kicked up hard as her teeth nipped.

“Sorry,” he gasped, because even though Nesta had told him not to hold back, he was still concerned about hurting her. But Nesta’s fingernails bit into his skin and her body moulded to him—a delicious second skin—as she inhaled sharply. “Again,” she demanded with a fierceness that did not allow disobedience. “Do that again—”

It didn’t take a second command for Cassian to thrust up hard. And true to her word, Nesta took him all. Did not change her mind and ask him to hold back. Instead, Cassian knew that this was exactly what she wanted—no, needed. She needed this punishing rhythm just as much as he did.

And it felt… incredible. Beyond anything Cassian had ever felt before. The blood roaring in his ears intermingled with Nesta’s cries and the slap of his hips meeting hers, was the only thing he could hear, his senses narrowed down to the sensation of her wrapped around him, so tight …

It was too good. It threatened to break him, to take everything that he was and reform it entirely, as if he was going to shatter and be pieced back together as someone else entirely. The air around them became taut with pressure, tanning leather stretched too tight over a rack, as if their joining controlled one of the essential elements.

“Cassian.” That one word threatened to break him. Not bat or it or you, only his name falling from her lips as if it was their secret. “More.”

Exhaling a curse, Cassian planted his feet firmly on the mattress and thrust up with as much vigour as he could muster. The movement had them slipping from their upright position and Cassian’s claws absent-mindedly closed around the metal bed frame, strapping them in for the ride as his body coiled and tensed as he slammed into her over and over.

Nesta cried out. Grabbed fistfuls of his hair as they moved together as if they had been made for this moment, their wild gasps melded together until they were one.

Only when release teetered too close to the edge did Cassian drop the rhythm. Cupped the breasts he had dreamed of more times than he could count. The breasts he’d had the privilege of seeing bare and glorious only twice before.

Capturing a nipple between his teeth, Cassian scraped his teeth hard enough that Nesta stopped rocking and angled her hips until he was pressing impossibly deep inside her. She whimpered. Clenched and unclenched. Throbbed in a way that told him she was as close as he was—that if he wasn’t so close himself, he could drive her over the edge with a few well-timed thrusts.

The understanding had him letting out a jagged groan. “Are you close, sweetheart?”

A whine in response, but Cassian didn’t let it go. He raked back the hair from her sweaty forehead. Pressed his lips to her swollen ones in a lingering kiss. Watched the frown that knitted her brow as she was overtaken by the feel of them.

“What do you need, Nesta. Tell me and I’ll give it to you.”

Nesta wound her hands around his head, buried her face into his neck. Began swaying and circling her hips in a rhythm that was dictated purely by the chase of pleasure. “Just… this,” she panted. “I just need this.”

Then it was only the licking fire of her breath against his skin. The magic that curled around them like a heated blanket and the building anticipation of both of their releases, which pulled at him like a strange sort of magnetism, begging him to fall with her in unison.

“Cassian—” Nesta began in warning, but he had already felt her begin to quake, as if the ground was moving beneath their feet—the mountains trembling.

That pull became a driving force—a cresting wave of pleasure so profound that Cassian felt that twist inside of him—that signal that he was about to join her.

He groaned, jerking his head back so it collided with wood, the pain grounding him enough that he could say, “That’s it, sweetheart. Come for me.”

As soon as the words left his lips, Nesta broke, as if she’d been waiting for him to ask it of her. Her cry was muffled and Cassian wanted to tear her mouth from his neck—to hear her break for him—but then she was sinking her teeth into his skin right over his pulse.

Roaring, Cassian kicked his hips up hard on instinct as she marked him, but the shock distracted him. Clouded the desperate clamber of his release so he could hold himself back.

Cassian held tightly onto Nesta as she slumped against him. When she lifted her teeth from him, Nesta whined like an animal. Dragged her tongue over the dent she’d made in his neck—once, twice, three times.

He shuddered. Couldn’t help it. Turned his face into her hair. Breathed her in. The gesture was tender, like an animal tending to the wound of a significant other—its mate.

And wrapped in this moment, Cassian could almost believe that this was something more than sex for Nesta as her forehead came to rest on his collarbone. As she kissed the hollow of his throat. Then the knot. His lips.  

“Good?” Cassian asked softly. He lifted a hand to her face, ran a calloused thumb over her cheekbone.

Nesta made a rare, content sound that vibrated through him like a balm. She leant into his hand, her eyelashes swooping down.

When she finally pulled back to survey him, her eyes were still dark. She shifted her hips. Moaned quietly. Rasped, “You’re still hard.”

It was a miracle Cassian hadn’t followed. If it hadn’t been for her teeth in his neck, Cassian would have been wrestling with the embarrassment of finishing too soon.

“I was too preoccupied with your teeth in my neck.”

A flush crept its way up Nesta’s face, like vines reaching their wicked encroaching fingers up a wall. But she raised her chin. “You wanted me to do it.”

It was true, he had wanted her to. And he wanted to do the same to her—to mark her as his so everyone would know that she was off limits for the brief hours before her body healed.

“And what about you?”

The patter of Nesta’s heart broke into a sprint. It was the only thing that betrayed her feelings, her expression devoid of any reaction. “What do you mean?”

Cassian leant forward until their noses brushed. Lifted his eyebrows. “Do you want me to bite you, Nesta?”

Nesta’s nostrils flared. If she had wings, they’d have flung wide by now. Would have collided with furniture and cut through air.

That was answer enough.

In one movement, Cassian lifted himself up and over, until Nesta was on her back and he was pressing her body into the mattress. Breath gushed out of her lungs but it was not from fear, not as Nesta turned herself out bare and tilted her chin for him—for once not in defiance but as an act of vulnerability—of complete and utter trust.

Every instinct in Cassian clambered to the surface, but he closed a fist around it until its life fluttered against the cage of his palms and fingers: his to control, rather than the other way around.

Slowly, Cassian lowered his nose to the exposed skin and breathed her in: her scent and the life that pummelled beneath her skin, the roaring of her blood as it crashed through her veins. It took everything in him not to move inside of her, to thrust up hard and feel the way her breasts would move against his chest.

“I could do it right here,” Cassian murmured, his mouth ghosting over the pale column of her neck until he came across that pulse. He brushed a tongue across it.

The movement was a mirror of what he’d done before in the human realm and Nesta knew it. But this time she did not jerk back from him demanding what he’d done. Instead, her body drew up beneath him, exposing more of her neck, begging for more.

Cassian groaned, raking his teeth over that swell at the same time that he pushed in deep. Nesta’s groan was guttural and everything. His blood turned molten, so hot that he expected his skin to melt away until he was nothing but bones.

“Please,” Nesta panted, her fingers tightening around his back.

Another flick of his tongue over her pulse. “Do you want me to bite you or fuck you?”

“Both.”

That was enough to loosen the fist on Cassian’s control. He sat back on his knees, prying her hands from his neck, coaxing her fingers until they were above her head and clasped around the railings of the headboard. Nesta’s breasts rose with the movement, her peaked nipples so tempting he bent to take one into his mouth. Then the other. Suckled until she mewled and her nipples were no longer rosy but red from his attention.

Cassian lifted his head and surveyed Nesta. Warned her, “Hold on tight.”

And then there was no thinking, no worrying or desperation to hold back. It all came as easy as breathing, their tempo,the snap of his hips and the shift of the mattress as her body shouldered the impact. At some point, Cassian’s body fell over hers, needing to feel every inch of her against him. His wild, punishing rhythm dropped into a rough rocking that was intimate at the same time it was claiming.

Nesta didn’t seem to mind—let out a pleased moan of consent, her legs clamping tighter around his hips until they were flush with hers. When he next moved she whined, and Cassian felt that change inside of her—somehow—that twisting fist of pleasure that glimmered down the bond, pushing against the walls of that thread, pushing it wider and wider, like a heart expanding.

Silver-wreathed fingers tugged his head down until Nesta could claim his mouth, fusing them together so they were complete. Cassian shuddered as her fire cascaded from her fingertips and down his body. His magic, attracted to hers, began to suck out of his pores, but it didn’t leech him of power. Instead, it was like his magic was searching for its mate, desperate to be reunited.

Then that sensation again, as if Cassian had ducked beneath something and had come up for air somewhere else.

Ruby greeted silver like a long-lost lover, blending until their magic was a metallic sheen of scarlet—a fog that misted their bodies, rubbing tantalisingly against their skin as they rocked and moaned their way to release.

“Don’t stop,” Nesta begged desperately through stuttered breaths, and Cassian wondered how many times she’d reached this pinnacle with other males only for it to be taken from her.

Cassian’s hand found its way to her face, his thumb stroking over her cheek as that coiled release twisted across her devastatingly beautiful face. “Can’t,” he panted honestly, his other hand searching for hers across the mattress until he was clasping it—holding on for dear life. “I’m so close, sweetheart. You have no idea how good you feel.”

“Come with me then,” Nesta pleaded. Her eyelashes had fluttered downwards as she took in a sharp breath of pleasure, but now they opened. Stared deep into his soul. “Come with me—”

Then her body turned both loose and taut, clamping yet completely molten as her release ripped out of her.

“Fuck,” Cassian swore. Invisible hands clasped around his ass, tugging him deeper—deeper. Everything in him tightened as Nesta crashed around him, and that siren called to him, singing her name, over and over as pleasure clawed at him, desperate to whip out of him.

Nesta, Nesta, Nesta.

Cassian launched at her neck, his teeth sinking deep enough to claim as Nesta cried out, her body trembling as he continued to thrust into her, wringing out her release at the same time he desperately clambered towards his own.

He managed to pull out just in time, his teeth still deep in her neck, his release spilling hot onto her stomach in bursts of pleasure.

And even though Cassian had vowed to bite her and Nesta had already marked him, he found himself apologising at the red, angry dents in her skin. How was it that he couldn’t bare to hurt her but biting her neck was a completely different story?

“Sorry,” Cassian rasped. His mouth was as dry as a desert as he gingerly touched his fingers to the marks, but Nesta’s fingers clasped around his, halting him. Then she raised her other hand and brushed her knuckles over the identical marking on his. Reminding him that she’d done the same—had been the first to do it.

“I liked it,” Nesta admitted brazenly, but she didn’t stop him from dragging his tongue over the marks. Shivered instead. Held his head to her.

“That was intense,” Cassian rasped eventually against her ear, after the quiet had settled over them like a blanket. He nuzzled at her neck again, unable to help it—just one more precious moment like this until he had to pull away.

When Cassian pulled back to meet Nesta’s eyes, he found that the blue bled back into her irises. “It was always going to be intense,” she replied frankly.

Then Nesta looked down at her body, as if she’d only just remembered how he’d marked her in a different way. “You didn’t have to do that—pull out. I can take a tonic.”

Cassian hadn’t wanted to pull out at all—and neither had that tie which bound them together—but that wasn’t the point. “I’d rather be cautious,” he explained—a little too shortly, because Nesta bristled.

“Neither of us have had a tonic in a while,” Cassian elaborated when Nesta’s expression hardened.

He tried not to think about how his body had been desperate to spill inside of her. For him to press as deep as he possibly could until he was spent.

Climbing off of the bed, Cassian disappeared down the hallway and into the bathroom. When he returned, he was holding a wet towel.

“A while?” Nesta queried, picking up their conversation, as he began to clean her up.

Cassian cocked an eyebrow, but he didn’t dare meet her eyes lest she read him. His shoulders turned rigid at the thought. “Have you been sneaking people in and out of the bungalow that I’m not aware of?” he asked.

They both knew that Cassian would tear any male she brought back to the bungalow to pieces, but neither of them voiced it.

“You go back to Velaris,” Nesta accused. “You visit the other camps.”

For a moment, Cassian stared at her. Did she believe that he’d been fucking other fae? She had taunted him in Velaris the other day, but Cassian had thought that it was just their extended, agonising tussle of foreplay.

Perhaps you should go in search of some female company tonight.

Cassian managed to huff a breath, but it wasn’t one of amusement. He knew that his expression was steely as he said, “I told you that I don’t sleep with Illyrians. And I haven’t been fucking around in Velaris.”

From the way Nesta’s expression darkened, Cassian wasn't sure she believed him.

She opened her mouth to throw back a retort, but Cassian wanted the discussion to end. If she knew he’d barely touched another female since he’d met her, she’d run the other way. It was too intense a confession for someone who didn’t know what they wanted.

“It was self-inflicted,” Cassian supplied, his tone flinty enough to warn her that he wasn’t willing to discuss the subject any further.

Climbing off of the bed to further his point, Cassian extended a hand towards her. Banished any of the rigidity to his posture. “Come stand in the tub with me.”

There was a sinful promise behind the order. Already Cassian could envisage how he’d press Nesta against the tiles, his lips trailing open mouthed kisses as he kneeled before her—

Nesta must have thought similarly, because the pleasure that sparked in his stomach was not his own. But still she studied him, her head cocked as if she was trying to figure him out. Her hair was a muss of golden brown, her skin glistening with sweat that Cassian wanted to lick off.

Nesta parted her lips, taking stock, but Cassian didn’t allow her to speak. “I’ll make it worth your while,” he vowed. Meant it. Because already he was turning hard again, that desire to have her roaring.

He’d known this would happen. Knew that finally being inside of her wouldn’t sate him but stoke the embers into flames. But Cassian didn’t hide it—utterly unashamed of this need for her. From the way Nesta’s nostrils billowed, he knew she'd marked the change in his scent.

Nesta’s eyes flicked to his cock and the she-devil smirked, her lips curving in a way that had Cassian thinking about how they might wrap around him—how her tongue might feel, how warm she’d be…

In one supple movement, Nesta stood. Took his hand, her slim fingers threading around his large ones. Raised her chin and levelled him with a smoky blue gaze that promised wicked, wonderful things. “Then lead the way, general.”

Tags (let me know if you want to be added/removed): @arinbelle @superspiritfestival @sayosdreams @perseusannabeth @mylittlebigplanet @biggestwingspan-az @bellsqueen @ekaterinakostrova @bookstantrash @prophecyerised @rainbowcheetah512 @awesomelena555 @wannawriteyouabook @lovelynesta @melphss @darkshadowqueensrule @laylaameer01 @a-trifling-matter @grouchycritic7794 @thalia-2-rose @champanheandluxxury @swankii-art-teacher @princessconsuela02 @lavendergoomsltd @princessofmerchants-reads @jeakat @sjm-things @imwritingthesewords @nestable @inejbrekkxr @silvernesta @inyourmindeye @amelie775 @helen-the-weirdo @pizzaneverdisappoints @wishfulimaginings @trash-for-nessian @my-fan-side @sophilightwood @valkyriesupremacy @vidalinav @onceupona-chaos @inardour @thesunremembersyourface @teagoddess99 @ellies-iced-coffee @nehemikkele @misswonderflower

[plush-rabbit]

Sickness - Mammon + Leviathan

Request: Hewwo, I'm sick atm :') and I wanted some comfort. Could you possibly do Levi and Mammon (hc or fic idc) with an S/O that gets super distant and moody when sick and they're liable to insult people (although they don't mean to) and they end up insulting the boys, and apologizing after they feel better.. if you can't don't worry about it :')

A/N: Get some rest!! Love you and take care!! (i think they would try to care but like they’re demons and they can be a bit too much at times)

-

Mammon:

Mammon likes spending time with you and he wants you to be at your best as soon as possible. He’ll do whatever he can to make you feel better because you’re his human and he can’t have one of his possessions go on and croak on him. You’re sick and terribly so given your complexion and how warm you feel. He’s been around other humans to know that they aren’t supposed to be this warm and he’ll do light research into what will make you feel better the quickest. He does his best to give you what you need- ramen made by him and plenty of water. As your first, he places it upon himself to make you feel better in any possible way that he can help. Demons naturally have a high immune system and human sickness isn’t something that he’s too worried about, so he’s able to spend as much time as possible with you in order to make you feel better.

While you enjoy spending your time with the second-born, you’re also sick and your nerves and mindset are extremely sensitive. His constant presence, while something that you do usually enjoy, is now something that is suffocating. Surprisingly, he’s very high in emotional intelligence, so when he senses that you're starting to grow a bit distant, he loosens up a bit, but he isn’t able to for long. While he is own demon, he really enjoys spending time with you and having you sick limits the time he gets to be around you. His eagerness gets the best of him, and he keeps pushing himself onto you. Rather than resting, you’re listening to him, helping him do his homework and having him complain to you about the day he’s had. He means well, but he’s pushy.

He can feel that you’re starting to get distant, that your initial pleasure is starting to fade and leave him, but he isn’t sure what else he can do. He’s doing everything that he can, or at least, he's keeping you company. Your patience is wearing thin, your body all sort of annoyed and stiff, you simply can’t be bothered to entertain him any longer. You hope that he’ll get the hint when you stop speaking, that he’ll figure that you're tired and just not in the mood, but he doesn’t. Every bit of you feels awful and you can only sulk as he continues to toss ideas your way. In a fit of anger, you lash out, harsh words spat out as you hide your face and look away from him, begging for him to leave. Wanting to do what he can to make you happy, he leaves your room without a word.

You’re left in silence, the only sound is your deep breaths that you take through your mouth and the blood rushing through your ears. The sleep that follows is upsetting, unable to get comfortable in your bed, your way to recovery is long without proper rest. During your remainder of sickness, you are unbothered by a certain demon, the only contact is a messaging and even that is scarce.

Once you feel better- at least enough to not be so easily over-stimulated, you make your way to his room, knocking on his door, waiting for an answer. Mammon lets you in with a simple “open,” and can only give you a quick glance before he turns away from you. When you sit beside him. The corner of his lips twitch, his face hardening and he doesn’t glance at you until you call his name. You hurt him, and you feel awful about it. You apologize- he had been trying to do a good thing, you hadn’t meant to be so snappy. His eyes are downcast, his hands dropping the magazine beside him, and gives you a tired grin and shrugs. You aren’t fond of his answer, you know how he’s teased and you inadvertently became one of them. You push yourself close to him, your hand covering his and you offer to take him out to eat- a thank you for taking care of you while he did.

Levi:

When Leviathan finds out that you’re feeling under the weather, he uses that to his advantage to have an anime-slash-gaming marathon with you. He already doesn’t like going out, he’s been meaning to complete or at least start on a few more series so having you sick is sort of a good thing to happen to you and to him. Plus, he’s a demon so your human sickness won’t affect him as strongly as it is you. He’s a bit more forward, his enthusiasm taking over and overwriting the more reserved nature of his. In his hands, he holds two plastic bags full of snacks, filled with candies that you both enjoy and energy drinks to keep you feeling energized and less likely to fall asleep.

Suffice to say, he doesn’t take notice of your sickness, but rather uses you stuck in bed to advance in shows that he wants to watch with you. It’s not that he doesn’t care, but his eagerness gets ahead of him, his need to complete things taking over. As the marathon continues, unhealthy snacks eaten, energy drinks that unsettle your stomach and make you buzz in your bed while loud music and flashing colors flash brightly against you, make you feel even worse. Any other day, you would have sung along to the opening with the demon, but now, all you want to do is tell him to just be quiet.

The environment is starting to get too much- your body hot and the skin that you wear feeling uncomfortably tight and you’re all too aware of where you sit- a messy bed with empty wrappers and bags. You tell him some awfully foul words, your throat sore and eyes wide, nails digging into your palm desperate for an ounce of blood to be shed. He sits in silence while you double over, the taste of chocolate thick on your tongue and making the acid all too sweet, and you can hear him scutter, wrapper crinkling under his hand and the laptop closing, followed by your door closing shut. You’re left alone with a growing headache and feeling even worse than you had done before.

It isn’t long before your sickness starts to pass over, relief flooding throughout you. The following days, he avoids you, not a step inside of your room and the only acknowledgement that you’re given by him is a “get well soon message”. It’s then that you groan in embarrassment and guilt. You hadn’t meant to snap at him but to be fair, you were sick and he wasn’t trying to make you feel better, he was trying to do things he normally enjoyed doing with you without regard to how you felt. No matter the amount of messages you send him, all that he responds with are one worded messages or simple emotes.

You knock on his door, his voice muted by the door, the volume steadily growing louder as he finishes his reply. The knob is cold underneath your hand as you turn it, surprised to find it open without having to resort to using a password. You call his name and he refuses to look at you, the air in the room thick as his gaze focused on the screen in front of him. Leviathan barely gives you a glance, his back straightened as you stand next to him, your hand on his shoulder. The screen is frozen, his controller placed down and he gives you a sour look, his lips pursed and brows furrowed. You apologize to him, your hand sliding across his back to his other shoulder, your chin resting on the now empty one. You hadn’t meant to snap, you were feeling sick and awful, but that was no excuse to tell him such awful words. You tilt your head, and he meets your eyes, his cheeks tinted with a peach hue. The air in the room is a bit more breathable, you smile at him and knock your head against his, apologizing to him once more and that if he’s still up for it, you’d love to have a proper anime marathon with him.

[atlafan]

Regular Thing - One Shot

a/n: okay, here’s bouncer!Harry, or bouncerry as I like to call him. this turned into a longer thing than I thought, and it’s a no strings attached type situation. there is A LOT of smut, enjoy! (reblogs and feedback are greatly appreciated) not proofread, sorry! 

Warnings: SMUT

Words: 14K

Being a bouncer in a college town wasn’t Harry’s intended career of choice, but it was a decent enough gig while he was in grad school. He was sort of over partying and boozing himself, so he didn’t feel like he was missing out much. It was fun at first, letting people in, turning others away. He took his job very seriously, never giving into the people that would flirt with him when the bar had reached capacity.

“Sorry, you’ll have to wait until some people leave.” He would say to them. The girls would push their boobs up and try to look as convincing as possible, but it never worked on Harry.

That was how the beginning of the night usually went. He’d stand outside for a few hours checking ID’s, and listening to the chatter of the people that would come out for a smoke or for some fresh air. He sometimes had a co-worker outside with him on the busier night, but most of the time it was him. Then he’d head inside and help grab empty glasses and survey the scene for overly drunk people. The bartenders would nod towards specific people and Harry would get them the fuck out.

It was tough at a college bar because people would often come to the bar already smashed. Their parties would get ruined by noise complaints, so everyone over twenty-one would come down to have some more fun. That’s not to say people wouldn’t try to sneak in, that’s when more of the flirting will happen.

“I just wanna dance with my friends, please? You can even stamp my hand.”

“No can do, come back in a few months.”

Harry was going for his MBA, and wanted to be a business owner someday. He got paid well as a bouncer, especially since he had boxing experience. His boss knew he could take care of business when need be. His boss, Greg, had taken him under his wing. Not only did Greg own the bar, but he also owned some off-campus apartments. He told Harry once he had his MBA a property manager job would be waiting for him. It would be an incredible start for Harry as buying and selling homes was something he really wanted to get into. He even wouldn’t mind owning the bar, or some bar, himself one day. He had time to figure it out.

For now, he was perfectly complacent working Tuesday through Sunday (technically Saturday, but the bar closes at 1:30AM), getting free drinks and food when he wanted, and listening to music. Luckily, his classes were either online, or in the afternoons, some were even weekend intensives, all of it was manageable.

//

Y/N worked at the university in town, also going for her master’s, but was only able to do so through her benefits as an employee. She didn’t get to go out that much, pretty much only when her friends were in town. One of her good friends, Mike, was in grad school for biology, and when her friends would come to stay with him, he’d invite her out. She had explained that unless it was a small thing at his place, or a night at the bar, she couldn’t really party with him or them if it was somewhere else. Nothing would look worse than her boss seeing her on barstool sports, hammered and popping her ass at some off-campus party where there could easily be people underage. It just wasn’t worth the risk.

Y/N only had guy friends, who she just referred to as her boyfriends. It wasn’t on purpose, it just sort of happened. She started hanging out with them her junior year of college when they were seniors, and they all just clicked. She had dated one of them earlier in the school year, but none of them put two and two together until later. She sort of absorbed them as a friend group, and the one she dated never really came around much.

Mike: hey, Y/N! The boys are coming into town this weekend. We plan to go to the bar Friday and Saturday night, will you come out???

Y/N: hey! Omfg I’d love to!

Mike: great! Can’t wait to see you

Y/N: same here, who exactly is coming?

Mike: Danny, Rob, Drew, and Conor

Y/N: amazing!! It’s gonna be a great weekend

//

There was a local band playing tonight. Harry didn’t love the way they sounded, and most people couldn’t wait for them to finish their set so the dance floor could open up, but it was a nice break from all of the overplayed music. The DJ on Fridays always spun the same tunes.

It was starting to get a little colder out at night, and even though Harry had been doing this a while, he still couldn’t quite understand how some of these people came out half dressed. People were coming in herds, and Harry had to turn a good chunk of them away. There was a $3.00 cover charge to see the band, but no one ever carries cash, and Harry couldn’t let them in without the cover. Simple as that.

He noticed this girl walking down to the entrance by herself. She had her hair up in a cute ponytail that flowed, and she was wearing skinny jeans with some booties, the jeans look to be high-waist. She was wearing a wind-breaker and a crop top. Not totally bundled up, but certainly more sensible than what many of the other people inside were wearing. As she got closer he could tell she had some light makeup on, but her eyes were done up. Whatever shadow she had on made her eyes pop.

Y/N had been to this bar many times, but not in a long time, and never at the hour Harry worked. Or maybe she had, but she had never really noticed him. As she approaches she gets her ID out and ready.

“Hi.” She smiles at him and hands him her ID to check.

Clearly not already intoxicated, good sign, he thinks to himself.

“Evening.” Harry mutters as he shines a small light on the ID, double checking it before handing it back to her. He catches her name; Y/N.

“Thanks.” She starts walking towards the door.

“There’s a cover tonight, three dollars.”

“What?” She scoffs. “Very funny.”

“Not kidding, we have bands a lot on Friday nights now…”

“Shit, it would have been nice for my friends to let me know, I would have stopped to get cash.” She fishes her phone out of her pocket. “And there’s never any service over here, ugh.”

Normally Harry would turn someone like this away, he would tell them where the nearest ATM was, and to have a nice night. But she looked up at him with wide eyes, and he couldn’t help himself. He sighs heavily and then speaks.

“Do you plan on drinking once you’re in there?”

“Well, yeah, obviously.”

“If I let you in, do you promise to tip the bartenders really well to make up for the three bucks?”

“Are you serious?” She perks up. “Yeah, of course!”

“Alright, go ahead.” He nods towards the door.

“Really?”

“Yeah, have fun.” He smiles, something he rarely did to the patrons.

“Thank you so much.” She smiles back and heads inside.

“Mate…” Niall, the other bouncer says. “Did you just let a girl flirt with you to get in?”

“No.” Harry scoffs. “I felt bad for her, that’s all. She looked panicked. Her friends clearly didn’t communicate with her properly.”

“Right.”

//

Inside, Y/N makes her way around to find her friends. She grins when she sees them all sitting down at a high top. She walks up and smacks Mike’s arms.

“Could have told me there was a cover.” She pouts and he gets up to hug her.

“Sorry, we didn’t know either. The bouncer made us go to an ATM.”

“It’s fine.” She says as she sits down and puts her jacket on the back of the seat. “He let me in for free.”

“Of course he did.” Conor rolls his eyes. “And don’t sit down, you have hugs to give out.”

“You’re right.” She giggles and gets up to hug all of her friends.

“We got you a drink already, at least.” Danny says, sliding it over to her.

“Ah, thank you, boys.” They all clink their glasses and get to drinking.

The band wasn’t terrible, but Y/N was definitely ready to dance with her friends. As soon as they packed up, and the DJ got on the turntables, they all made their way to the dancefloor. Y/N loved dancing with her friends, they always made her laugh, and the sleezy guys around usually left her alone. She could feel how lit she was and she knew she needed to slow down. Harry was at the point in the evening where he was standing inside, scoping out the scene. You walk by him giggling with Drew, you needed some fresh air and he needed a smoke.

“Shit, it’s cold out.” She says as she unties her jacket form around her waist.

“Mm, these keep me pretty warm.” Drew smirks as he takes a drag from his cigarette.

“That’s a nasty habit.”

“I only smoke when I drink, chill.” He chuckles. “You offered to come outside with me.”

“Certainly wasn’t going to do it alone.” You wobble a bit as you stand. You hear a song you love come on and you both look at each other.

Drew puts his cigarette out, and you both run back inside, whipping right by Harry. He notices how your friends are people he made go to the ATM earlier. He also noticed they were all guys. He figured you weren’t dating one of them, if you had a boyfriend you probably would have said so, and if you had a proper boyfriend he either would have come with you to the bar, or would have waited for you outside.

“Hey, Greg wants you outside again.” Niall says.

“Why?”

“Because I guess the town cop is coming tonight to make sure people leave safely, and Greg knows you won’t say something stupid to him.”

“Oh, Tom’s coming? Love that guy, he’s so chill.”

“If you say so.” He shrugs.

“Alright, I’ll go back out.” Harry sighs and goes back out, pretty much forgetting about Y/N until it was 1:30 in the morning, and she was walking out with her friends.

She was laughing hysterically about something, and Harry was making small talk with Tom. She stops short in front of Harry.

“Hey!” She smiles.

“Y/N, come on.” Mike tugs on her arm.

“Hold on.” She scolds him and looks back at Harry. “I did what you said.”

“Which was what?”

“Tip the bartenders well.” She bats her lashes at him. “You let me in without the cover, which was super nice, so I wanted you to know I did what you said.”

“Oh…um…good, thanks.”

“Come on, Y/N, I’ll give you a piggy back ride back to the apartment.” Mike says and she immediately gets excited. Y/N hated walking anywhere while she was drunk.

Harry watches as she hops on the man’s back, and wraps herself around him happily as the group walks up the small hill to the street.

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you at such a loss for words.” Tom nudges him. “Thought the college girls didn’t affect you.”

“They don’t…and she’s not just some college girl, she’s a little older, I saw on her license. She’s around my age.” Harry shakes his head. “It doesn’t matter, I’ve never seen her before, and I’ll probably never see her again.”

//

Or so Harry thought when she came strolling down with all of the same guys. This time around she had a ripped pair of black skinny jeans on, not so high-waist, Harry could see her belly piercing, and she was wearing a white crop top. Her hair was half up, and flowed down her shoulders. She looked pretty, gorgeous really. All of them were giggling over something, and it was already 11:30, so Harry assumed they had already started drinking.

“Hello.” Y/N smiles and hands him her ID.

“Evening.” He says as he shines the light over the card. “All set.” He says as he hands it back.

“No smile tonight?”

“Go inside, would you?” He says as he checks the other ID’s.

“Too bad.” She giggles. “You have a nice smile.”

“Y/N.” Rob hushes her and leads her inside.

“Hear that, mate, you got a nice smile.” Niall jokes.

“Shut up.” Harry grumbles and crosses his arms.

//

The boys all wanted to play pool, which Y/N sucked at, so she just happily stood by sipping her drink, swaying to the music. She munches on popcorn, and notices Harry going around collecting empty glasses and bringing them behind the bar. She notices how he smiles at the bartenders, letting them nudge him playfully.

He looks over and sees her looking at him and his eyes widen. Instead of feeling embarrassed, she keeps looking at him. She smiles and bites the straw in her drink, and his face flushes before turning away. Harry wasn’t an easily flustered man, so he was extremely confused. When he looks over in that direction he finds her cheering on her friends. He wondered why you weren’t playing, billiards weren’t that difficult.

Later on when she was on the dance floor with her friends, they point over to the door where Harry was effortlessly carrying someone out.

“Damn, that guy must have been fucked up!” Danny says.

“Yeah!” Mike says.

“I wonder how I could get him to pick me up like that?!” Y/N says and the boys laugh.

“Are you gonna try to pick him up?!” Conor says.

“Not tonight, it’s boy’s night!” She backs her ass up to Drew and he laughs as he dances with her. “But maybe another time, he’s cute!”

“Last night was boy’s night.” Rob scoffs. “Go on and get yourself some.”

“Maybe when he’s less busy.” She laughs.

Harry was about to go on a fifteen minute break as he was carrying some empties to the glass racks. Right when he was walking back to the main area, he bumped into someone, causing them to spill their drink on the floor.

“Shit, I’m sorry.” He sighs.

“Oh! No, that was my fault, I…” Y/N looks up at Harry. “I should have been more careful.”

“Can I get you a new one?” He rubs the back of his neck.

“Really, it’s okay, not that much spilled.” Harry nods at her. “So…you work here, that’s cool.”

“Yeah.”

“Saw you toss that guy out, does that happen often.”

“Maybe a couple times of week.” Harry shrugs.

“You seemed like you were in a hurry, am I keeping you from something?”

“No, I was just headed for my break.” He looks her up and down, she was so pretty, and maybe it was the couple of shots he had in his system, but he was feeling more bold than usual. “There’s an office in the back I usually go hang in for a bit…it’s quiet.” He steps a little closer to her.

“Do you wanna show me?”

Harry nods at her and she smiles. She follows close behind him to the back office. Now, normally this wasn’t something Harry did. Hooking up with drunk girls while he was barely inebriated himself wasn’t an activity he participated in often. Having worked at the bar for a good chunk of time now, though, he’s able to tell that she’s fine. She can stand on her own feet fine, and she’s not wobbling around.

“How many drinks have you had?” He asks as he closes the door, locking it.

“This is my second.” She says as she places it on the desk.

“And before coming down?”

“Just a couple of shot.” She shrugs. “How long is your break?” She walks towards him.

“Fifteen minutes.”

“And how would you like to spend that little chunk of time?” She says as she presses her hands to his chest.

Harry’s answer is to cup her jaw and lean down to kiss her, which she happily accepts. Her lips were sticky-sweet with the cranberry juice from her drink. He runs his tongue over her bottom lip before sucking on it. She tugs on his shirt as she balls it up in her fists. His hands move to her hips to walk her back towards the desk.

“Is this okay?” He whispers against her lips.

“Yes.” She smiles up at him. “You’re right, it is quiet in here.”

Harry smirks at her and attaches his lips to hers again. Her hands splay across his back, and she runs her nails down the length of him. She’s back up against the desk with his leg between her. His hands slide down to her ass and he squeezes what he can, getting a gasp from her.

“Um, what’s your name?” She says as he kisses from her jaw to her neck.

“It’s Harry.” He mumbles against her.

“I’m Y/N.” She grunts as his teeth graze her soft skin. “That feels good, but I don’t think you have time for all that.”

He moves to look at her, eyes pleading to have him just touch her already.

“You really wanna do this?” His asks as he grips onto the waistband of her jeans.

“Yes, would have tried to last night, but I was way too fucked up.”

“And you’re not tonight?”

“Nope.”

“How do you want it?”

“Just bend me over the desk.”

A soft groan leaves Harry’s lips. He undoes her jeans, and slides his hand inside to get a feel for her, and her back arches. She bites her bottom lip as his fingers graze over her folds.

“Just wanna make sure you’re wet enough for me.” He kisses her again as she grinds against his hand. She whines when he takes his hand away. “Turn around.” She nods and braces herself with her palms gripping the edge of the desk.

“Wait!” She says and rummages through her purse. “Condom.” She gives him a shy smile as he takes it.

“Good catch.”

He tears it open with his teeth and undoes his belt and zipper, tugging his boxers and pants down just enough to get his hard dick out. He rolls the condom down his length. You tug down your own jeans and panties. The lights in the office were dim, so neither of them felt over exposed. It was the perfect atmosphere, really.

He sucks his fingers into his mouth and reaches between her folds again, finger her for a moment or two just to make sure she was good to go.

“Please.” She whimpers as she looks over her shoulder at him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yes.”

Harry nods and grips her hips as he slowly pushes inside her. Y/N’s mouth falls open as he keeps feeding it into her.

“Oh my god.” She breathes.

“Alright?”

“Yeah, you can move.” She looks at him briefly. “And remember, you have to be quick.”

“Want it fast, is that what you’re telling me?” He smirks and she nods with hooded eyes.

Harry pulls almost all the way out and slams back into her. She gasps, but she encourages him to do it again. And he does, over and over until he gets a comfortable rhythm going. He was drilling into her, but she seemed okay. He snakes an arm around her chest so he can grope at one of her breasts. She arches into him, and her head falls back against his shoulder. He licks into her mouth while his other hand works to rub her clit. She moans into his mouth, and he hooks an arm around his head to tug at his hair, causing him to moan into her mouth. He slows his pace up to focus on her. She was moving her hips in sync with the motions of his fingers on her clit.

“Fuck.” She groans. Her breathing gets heavier and faster and she bites his bottom lip to stifle her cry. She bucks into his hand as she climaxes.

“Okay.” He breathes, and pushes her back over the desk. He grips both of her hips and gives it to her full forces. “Good?” He grunts.

“Y-yeah!” She gasps. With each stroke he was hitting deeper and deeper, brushing her g-spot. “D-don’t stop.”

He could feel his orgasm bubbling at the base of spine, and his stomach was starting to tighten. She was squeezing around him, and he wasn’t sure how much longer he could last, especially when he looks down at the way her ass bounces back against him.

“Shit, fuck.” He moans out as he releases into the condom and he gasps when he feels her squeeze around him again, another release of her own coinciding.

He pulls out of her slowly and wraps the condom in a tissue before throwing it away. He didn’t need Greg giving him a tough time. He pulls his pants back up all the way and watches as she does the same.

“Sorry, I don’t have any rags in here, uh-“

“It’s okay, I’ll just go use the bathroom.” She wipes his fingers under eyes and looks at herself using the camera on her phone. Her voice was a little hoarse now, so she takes a sip of her almost forgotten drink. She makes a relieved noise once the cool liquid hits her throat. “Look at that.” She says, pointing to the clock on the wall. “You’ve got two minutes to spare.” She winks and leaves him standing there.

“Holy shit.” He says to himself as he makes sure the office is in order. He scarfs down a granola bar, and heads back into the bar. He looks for Y/N, he wanted to make sure she was okay.

There she was, back on the dancefloor with her friends. She was grinding back against one of her friends, who could only assume was one of her friends, he could easily be her second fuck for the night. Harry furrows his brows and then snaps out of it. It was a simple one-night-stand, if one could even call it that, he felt good after his release.

Last call on a Saturday night never failed to irritate Harry. There was usually a few different girls that stayed until the last second to try to pick him up, but he never went. Those girls were usually way too drunk, and it just wasn’t worth it to him. He was behind the bar now, helping the bar tenders get the last few orders in, and square up some tabs. He sees Y/N walk up to the bar with one of her friends.

“I’ve got it, Y/N.” Conor says.

“No, you’re not paying for me again.”

“Technically Danny got all the drinks last night.”

“Yeah, so it’s my turn.”

“Your money’s no good. Hey, man, put everything of hers on Donovan.” Conor says to Harry and he nods.

“No! I can pay for my own drinks!” She laughs at her friend. “You’re the worst.”

“We’re just taking care of you, Y/N.” Conor puts his arm around her and she leans her head on his shoulder.

“Here.” Harry slides the card and receipt to Conor. He looks at Y/N and she looks at him, a grin growing on her face, and a blush growing on his. “Have a good night.” He says more so to her.

“I don’t think it could get much better than it already is.” She says to him.

“Not true, we’re gonna go stuff our faces with pizza and have a group snuggle, what’s better than that?” Conor says to her as he signs the slip and leaves a decent tip.

“Oh, god, yeah, I really need to snuggle right now.” She says to her friend with a pout.

“I’ll bet.” He winks at her and leads her away from the bar.

Harry’s face turns beat red. Did she tell them what she went off to go do? He didn’t want rumors being spread that the bouncer fucks. He needed to keep some authority, after all. People start leaving, and others linger until the lights flip on at closing. Harry helps clean up and gets everyone out of the bar. He hadn’t seen Y/N again, but that was okay.

“So, you had a good break.” Niall teases him as they head to their apartment, which was conveniently just above the bar.

“What do you mean?”

“Saw you go into the office with that girl.”

“So what if I did?” Harry shrugs. “Not like you haven’t done it before.”

“Oh, I’m not judging at all, please know that. I’m more so just shocked. Usually you shoot every person that flirts with you down.”

“I know, I don’t really know what came over me, but she was hot so.” He shrugs again. “I’m going to bed, I’m exhausted.”

“I’m sure you.” Niall nudges him as they make their separate ways to their rooms.

//

Y/N woke up spooning Rob, and with Drew spooning her. Not the most unusual way to wake up with her friends. She felt gross as she sat up. She was cozy in some borrowed sweats, but there was an ache in her stomach and between her legs. The stomach was easily from the amount of sugar she had from the cranberry juice in her drinks, and between her legs, well, a sexy bouncer comes to mind for that.

Everyone slowly gets up and they all decide to go out for brunch, just like old times. They laugh and reminisce over the fun the weekend brought them all.

“Wait, so did you really hook up with that dude?” Mike asks.

“Mhm.” She giggles as she sips her coffee. “It was good too.”

“Define good.” Rob says.

“I had two orgasms that I didn’t have to conjure up myself, I’d say that’s pretty good.” She says bluntly and they all laugh.

“Do you think you’ll try to see him again?” Conor asks.

“Oh god, I have no idea. I have no reason to go to the bar unless you all are here.”

“You could always go down with Mike on trivia night or something.” Drew says.

“Mm, no, I don’t like going out on work nights. I’m always way too tired the next morning.”

“You don’t have to drink. Come on, when was the last time we went to trivia night?” Mike says.

“True…maybe next week? I don’t wanna seem too eager, you know? I’m not really looking for anything serious right now, and I don’t need him thinking I’m stalking him.”

“Don’t force her, man, if she just wants it to be a one night stand she can leave it as that.” Danny says.

“See, he gets it.” She says.

//

Harry had thought of the pretty girl he fucked in his boss’ office only a couple of times, and then he slowly let her slip away. He had class and schoolwork to occupy his head. The same could be said for Y/N. Harry had left some after affects, but he slowly faded in her mind as well.

Well, it had faded until she was mindlessly swiping through Bumble one night, and she came across his profile. Even if she hadn’t already met him, she would have liked him. He really did have a nice smile, and his pictures weren’t the standard douchebag pictures. She decides to swipe right and see what happens. She wasn’t sure how often he used the app, if at all, but she was interested to see if she’d see anything from him.

On a Sunday evening, after getting some homework done, Harry went on to Bumble to see if he had any notifications. He used the app less and less as he didn’t want to accidentally hook up with someone that might be too young for him. His eyes widen when he comes across Y/N’s profile.

“So she is from around here.” He says to himself. He had thought maybe you had just come into town for that weekend for some fun with friends. He takes a leap of faith and swipes right. He smirks when he sees it’s a match.

Harry preferred Bumble to the other “dating” apps out there. He never wanted to make someone uncomfortable, so he liked that the girl had to message first.

Y/N was just getting out of the shower when she saw the notification from Bumble that she had a new match. Her jaw drops when she sees that it’s Harry.

Y/N: let’s go out on Friday night…I matched with that bouncer on Bumble…but I’d rather talk in person

Mike: sounds like a plan to me! I’ll be the perfect wingman

Y/N: don’t think I exactly need your help for that lol

Mike: maybe you can be mine then

Y/N: deal

//

Harry had completely forgotten about the Bumble thing until he saw Y/N strolling down the hill with Mike. She gets her ID ready for him.

“Is there a cover tonight?” She asks him. His gaze on her was intense, like they both knew about the giant elephant looming around them.

“No band tonight.”

“Ah.”

He checks Mike’s ID, and the two go inside. The sit down at the bar after Mike makes up a bowl of popcorn.

“Don’t let me drink too much.” She tells him. “I’m gonna try to nurse a vodka-lemonade for a bit.”

“You got it. Hey, maybe you could give me another shot of showing you how to play pool?”

“I’m looking to get laid again, I don’t need to make a fool of myself, Michael.”

“He could think it’s cute, maybe he could teach you.”

“He’s on the job.”

After the nightly rush, Harry’s relieved from the cold, and comes inside to do his other duties. He gathers up empty glasses, cleans up anything that’s spilled, and goes behind the bar. He notices Y/N about halfway done with her drink.

“Are you gonna want another?”

“I could certainly use another blue moon.” Mike grins at Harry and he nods.

Y/N watches as Harry’s muscles flex as he pulls the tap. He grabs an orange wedge to put on the lip of the glass and slides it over to Mike.

“Thanks.” Mike throws a couple of singles on the bar and Harry pockets them.

“Well?”

“Trying to get me drunk?” She smirks. “Thought you might like me a little more sober.”

Harry smirks and leans on the bar so he can talk a little closer to her.

“Don’t tell me you came all the way down here just to see me again?”

“Maybe.” She shrugs and takes a careful sip of her drink. “What time you off?”

“Two.”

“Places closes at 1:30…”

“Mhm, and then I have side-work. You don’t have to wait if you don’t want to.”

“No…I’ll wait.” She looks at her watch. “It’s only a couple of hours anyways.”

Harry nods and walks away to get back to work. Mike gives Y/N a thumbs up of approval.

“Well, if you won’t play pool with me, will you at least go dance with me once I’m done with this drink?”

“Oh, without question.”

There were plenty of people on the dancefloor. Y/N didn’t love coming to the bar often, only because sometimes she’d run into some of her student workers and it could get a little awkward. For the most part, things seemed safe. She was having a great time with Mike, but her eyes kept scanning the room for Harry. Once in a while they’d lock eyes and smile awkwardly, fully knowing what was most likely going to go down at the end of the night. When 1:30 hit, she let Mike go square up his tab so she could chat with Harry.

“So…” She says as she approaches him. He was putting chairs on top of tables.

“Mine or yours?” He asks bluntly. “I live right upstairs, but if you felt more comfortable at your place then-“

“Yours.” She smiles. “Yours sounds good.” Y/N didn’t like bringing men home that she didn’t know all that well. His place was better.

“Okay.” He looks around the bar and furrows his brows. “You gotta get rid of your friend, we’re not really supposed to let a lot of people hang around.”

“Oh, alright, well, where should I wait?”

“Take a seat at the bar, it’s fine.”

She nods and goes over to Mike to say goodnight. He winks at her and tells her to call if she needs anything. Niall was running around with Harry mopping the floors and cleaning everything up while the bartenders cleaned up the bar. They gave Y/N a couple of knowing looks, but other than that no one seemed phased that she was waiting for him.

“Hang down here a minute.” Harry says to Niall. “I’d like to get her in my room first.”

“Say no more, I’m actually headed to a little cutie’s of my own.” Niall winks. “Have fun.” He says as he heads out.

“Y/N?” She turns to look at him. “Ready?”

“Mhm.” She smiles and follows him up a set of stairs.

Harry unlocks the door to let them both in and she looks around. It was a decent enough set up.

“Can I get you anything?” He asks as he closes the door.

“No, I’m all set.” She presses him against the wall and wraps her arms around his neck. “There’s really only one thing I want from you, anyways.”

He leans down to kiss her, and her fingers lace through his hair. His hands slide down her sides to her butt, to the backs of her thighs.

“Jump.” He says, and she does so. She kisses on his neck as he carries her to his room.

He doesn’t bother with the light, he just kicks his door shut, the only light in the room coming in through the shades from the street lights. He gets her on his bed and they both work to get each other’s clothes off. He gets her jeans off and she lays back as he kisses on the fleshy parts of the tops of her breasts. She tugs his shirt off and runs her hands up and down his torso. She could just make out some of the tattoos he had. Interesting, she thinks.

“You have condoms?” She asks as he unhooks her bra.

“Yeah.”

She hum in approval and lets him continue getting to know her body. He swirls his tongue around one of her nipples before sucking on it. His hand goes between her legs, and rubs her covered clit. She feels him pull the material to the side, and then she feels him slip his middle finger in, the cool from his rings causing her to gasp.

“You were really tight last time, did I hurt you?” He mumbles against her neck as he gently sucks on her skin.

“N-no, I would have told you if it hurt.”

Harry kisses her as he slides another finger inside her warm center. Her mouth falls open as his thumb rubs her puffy clit. She reaches between them, and pets him over his boxers. He groans into her neck and starts pumping his fingers faster, curling them, hoping to find that spot of hers.

“Oh, oh!” She gasps. “Just like that, oh fuck, please don’t stop!” She has to clutch at the blankets on his bed to ground herself.

He kneads her breast with his other hand, and wraps his lips back around her other nipple, consuming just about all of her senses. She was panting and moaning and squeezing around his fingers. He feels her pulse around him and her legs twitch as she comes to her release.

“Shit.” She breathes with a smile on her face. “You’re good at that.”

“Don’t it’ll go right to my head.” He smirks. “Let me go get a condom.” He kisses her forehead before getting up to rummage through his desk drawer.

Y/N wriggles out of her now drenched panties, and tosses them somewhere on the floor, and gets more comfortable on his bed. As good as the office sex was she was sort of happy to be somewhere they could do a little more.

“Ready for me?” He asks as he gets on the bed.

“Mhm.”

He parts her legs and gets situated between them, running his tip along her folds and clit. She lifts her hips towards him, and it makes him good knowing how impatient she was. He pushes inside her and bottoms out.

“Jesus!” She gasps.

“You’re so fucking tight.” He grunts as he starts to move.

“I think you’re just big.” She moans as he rocks in and out of her. “Not complaining though.”

He comes down closer to her, and hooks one of her legs under his arm to thrust in deeper. It has her head rolling back. She gets a fistful of his hair and he moans as she tugs on it.

“You like that, huh?” She says into his ear and she feels him nod yes. Harry nibbles on her earlobe before responding.

“What do you like?” His deep voice in hear ear was enough to send her flying to the moon.

“God, anything you wanna do to me I think I’d like.” He moves to look at her with a raise eyebrow. “Within reason of course.”

“Wanna get on top?”

“Sure.”

He pulls out and shifts to sit up against the headboard. She was a little surprised since most guys liked to lay flat when she rode them, but she wasn’t going to watch him on it. She swings her leg of his lap to properly sink down on him. When she starts to move he stops her.

“I wanted you on top, that doesn’t mean you need to do anything.” He pecks her lips and thrusts him into her, her mouth forming an ‘O’. “Deeper, yeah?”

“Yeah.” She licks into his mouth as he grips her hips to move her on and off his cock. “Fuck.” She whispers in his ear. She was going to come soon, and she knew it. She wanted to hold on a little longer, but she also just really wanted to let go. “H-Harry, fuck, I-“

“Go on, come, Y/N.”

She cries out into his neck, tugging his hair maybe a little too hard. She just misses the moan he lets out as he spills into the condom. They stay there like that for a moment before she gets off him.

“Bathroom?” She says, reaching for the shirt he was wearing earlier.

“Just down the hall on the left.”

“Great, thanks.” She slips out the door and Harry gets his boxers on after throwing the condom out. She comes back in and shines her flashlight on the floor to find her clothes. “It’s really late, you can crash if you want.”

“Oh, that’s alright.” She says. “I’ll sleep better in my own bed. Besides, the last thing I need to run into any of the students on my way home in the morning.”

“Do you, um, work at the university?” He hadn’t even thought to ask.

“Yeah.” She tugs her jeans on and snatches her shirt from the floor.

“Can I ask you something?”

“Sure.”

“Why didn’t you message me after matched?”

“Oh.” She blushes. “I don’t know…I like doing these things in person better.”

“Me too. I only swiped to see if you did.”

“So, you’re not, like, seeing anyone else?”

“Not on the regular, no. What about you?” She shakes her head no at him. “Do you want my number?”

“And what would I do with it?” She smirks.

“Use it to give me a heads up if you’re coming to the bar or…or if you just want me after one of my shifts.” She bites her bottom lip and hands him her phone. He puts his number in and texts himself. “Can I give you a ride home or anything?”

“No, I’m parked right out on the street, actually, but thank you.”

“Well, let me at least walk you out there.”

“Okay.”

Harry throws on some sweats and leads Y/N out. He walks her down to her car, and he presses her up against it, kissing her before letting her go. Once her car is out of sight he heads back up to his room. He wasn’t sure how often they’d communicate, but at least he knew if she didn’t feel like waiting for him in the bar, they could just plan it out better.

//

Y/N didn’t want to come off as greedy or clingy. She didn’t want to text him every time she felt like getting railed, but she couldn’t stop thinking about his dick, or how he used it. He was careful and aggressive all at the same time. She could tell he respected her, maybe all women in general, just by the way he would check in. It was a wonder to her how no one else was fucking him, well, maybe they were. Just because he said he didn’t have anything else on the regular didn’t mean he didn’t have an assortment of numbers in his phone. The following Saturday night she couldn’t sleep, and before she even had a chance to text him, he texted her.

Harry: you up?

Now, usually a text like that would make her eyes roll out of her head, but it was nice coming from him. He was clearly up because it was one in the morning and he was working. If anything it was courteous.

Y/N: yeah

Harry: how come?

Y/N: couldn’t sleep

Harry: maybe I could come tire you out when I get off work

Y/N: you know, I love a home remedy as opposed to taking a pill, so that sounds good to me, I’ll text you my address

Harry: 👍

Y/N bites her bottom lip and springs out of bed. She wanted to tidy up a little before he got there. Maybe they could just fuck on her couch or something. She wasn’t sure if she wanted him in her room just yet, but it might not be up to her when he gets there. She’d let him fuck her where he wanted. She wanted to make herself look cute, but she wasn’t sure how much he’d really care. She decides to change into a tank top and shorts as she waits for him.

Around 2:15AM there’s a knock on her door, jolting her awake from the couch.

“I’m getting too old for this.” She says as she rubs her eyes. She gets up and opens the door for him. “Hi, Ha-mph!”

He cuts her off by cupper her jaw and kissing her. He kicks her door closed, and picks her up.

“Sorry I’m late, where’s your room?” The girl simply points him in the direction of where to go and she lets him carry her there. “I even tried to leave early, but these idiots were causing problems.” He says as he gets his shoes and socks off, along with his shirt. “I had to break up this fight and it was a whole thing.” He unbuckles his belt and lets his pants drop to the floor.

“No worries, I figured you’d get here eventually.” She shrugs and works on getting herself naked. “You promised to help tire me out, after all.”

“That I did.” He smirks and pulls her towards him for a searing kiss.

Harry pushes her back on the bed, and kisses down her body. Her skin felt soft and smelled cocoa butter, she must have put lotion on before he got there. He looks up at her just as he reaches her naval.

“Can I?”

“Can you what?”

“Eat you out.”

“Oh! Um, only if you really want to.”

“Do you want me to?”

“Well, yeah, but only if you want to also. I don’t like when guys just do it to do it, you know?”

“I can assure you that’s not the type of guy I am.”

“Okay.”

He kisses and sucks on her inner thigh, marking her up, and then he licks a flat stripe up her center. He does this a few times, just getting a feel for how she tastes, and then he swirls the tip of his tongue around her clit.

“Shit.” She breathes. “Found it pretty fast.” She pushes some hair out of his face as he smirks up at her.

“S’not rocket science.”

Before she can say anything she’s gasping as he sucks on her clit. She gets a grip on his hair as she grits her teeth. He works her up, almost to the brink, and then he drags his tongue around her folds. He licks into her center and she cries out from the warm feeling of his tongue. His thumb rubs circles into her clit as continues to give her the best head she’s ever had. Every time he moaned against her she moaned louder. She couldn’t believe he was enjoying it so much. Her legs were starting to shake around him and she just wanted to close him in around her, but he had his other hand pressed firmly on one of her thighs to keep her open.

“Oh my god, oh my god!” Her back arches off the bed as she comes on his tongue. He laps her up before kissing up her body. “Let me put my mouth on you too.”

“Don’t have to tell me twice.” He lays down next to her. “But come sit on me and I’ll do you at the same time.”

“Fuck, really?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N feels giddy as she situates herself over Harry’s head. She leans forward to get him out of his boxers. His hard dick slaps back against his stomach. She spits into her and grips him. She feels him jolt underneath her and she chuckles. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to concentrate on giving him a blow job while he was slurping away at her again, but she’d do her best. She gives him a few pumps before wrapping her lips around his tip. He groans into her and squeezes the backs of her thighs. She sinks lower on him and bobs up and down. She has to dig her nails into one of his thighs to keep herself from gagging on him. She decides to focus on sucking his tip and pumping the rest.

“I’m gonna come if you keep doing that.” He tells hers, but she doesn’t let up. He starts panting and fingers her because he just can’t use his mouth on her right now.

“Oh, fuck, don’t’ stop.” She pops off him to say and then goes back to sucking him off.

She comes around his fingers just as his hot come shoots up into her throat. He hears her gulp as she swallows and then she licks his tip clean. She rolls off him and giggles, he giggles too, and she props herself up on her elbows to look at him.

“What?”

“Think that’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh.”

“Chalk it up to being lightheaded.” He sighs. “Just give me a minute, and then I’ll fuck you.”

“If you’re too tired, we don’t have to-“

“M’not tired, I just need a second.” He gives her ankle a squeeze.

“Want some water?”

“Sure, that’d be great.”

She gets up and quickly shuffles into her kitchen to get a glass of water. She takes a sip first before going back into her bedroom. She hands it to him and he thanks her. She knees onto the bed and sits next to him.

“You have condoms?” He asks.

“Mhm.” She reaches over into her bed side table takes one out.

“Alright, I’m ready if you are.” He says, taking it from her.

“If I lay on my stomach, will you get on top and fuck me from behind?”

“Uh, yeah.” He clears his throat. He liked a girl that was blunt and forward.

She smiles and gets on her stomach for him. He parts her lips and slides in, she was still plenty wet. She groans into her pillow as he rocks in and out of her. He snakes his hand between her and the bed to rub her clit.

“God, you’re so attentive.” She says, looking over her shoulder at him in amazement.

He smirks at her and gives her a bum a smack before pushing her head back down into the pillow. His chest was flush with her back, and they were moving in a perfect rhythm with each other. She was white knuckling her blankets feeling the damn about to break again.

“Oh, shit, fuck, Harry!” She cries out as she comes again. He gives her a few harsh thrusts before he fills the condom up. Once he pulls out she rolls onto her back. “Trash is over there.” She breathes, pointing to the can in the corner.

“Thanks.”

“I’ll be right back.” She gets up and slips out to use the bathroom. He’s just pulling his boxers on when she comes back. She throws on a large tee shirt to cover herself up a bit.

“Tired now?” He smirks at her.

“Very.” She chuckles. “Um…it’s, like, almost four in the morning…you can stay if you don’t feel like driving.”

“Oh, um, that would be great actually…if you’re sure.”

“Yeah, I don’t mind.”

Harry nods and stands up.

“Bathroom?”

“Just outside the door on the right.”

“Thanks.”

Y/N hadn’t let a guy sleep over in a while, but it would only be for a few hours, so it wasn’t that big of a deal. Harry comes back in a few moments later smelling like mint.

“Used some of your mouth wash, hope that’s alright.”

“It’s fine.” She smiles and gets settled into bed with him. “Well, goodnight.”

“Night.”

She rolls over and he turns with her, spooning her. She adjusts into him, getting especially comfy, and before she knows it, she’s drifting off, and so is he.

The next morning, Y/N wakes up to the sounds of Harry rustling about getting his clothes on.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“It’s okay.” She yawns with a stretch of her arms. “Do you want me to make some coffee or…?”

“No, I’m gonna crash when I get back, I just wanted to get out of your hair.” He runs a hand through his hair. “That was fun, last night.”

“Mhm.” She smiles and curls up in her blankets. “It’s been fun every time.”

“What if, uh, I mean, would you want to make this a regular thing? My schedule is the way it is, so relationships are tough, but this…is easier.”

“Yeah, I mean, I don’t want a relationship right now, but having sex with a hot guy is certainly something I’d like to continue doing.”

“So that’s a yes?”

“Yes.”

“Cool.” He smiles and knees onto the bed to peck her lips.

“What time does your shift usually start? Not that I don’t love waiting up until after two in the morning, but I’m not usually awake that late.”

“Oh, right, um, I usually go in around seven. I help out at the end of the dinner rush. Get the place set up and all that.”

“I usually get out of work around 4:30 most days…”

“I typically have Sundays and Mondays off too, just FYI.”

“You know, I think this could work out well.” She smiles.

“So do I.” He kisses her again before getting off the bed. “I’ll text you later, or, I don’t know maybe you could text me first.” He says sarcastically.

“I was actually going to text you last night, but you got to me first.” She giggles.

“Right.” He rolls his eyes. “See ya later, Y/N.”

“Bye, Harry.”

//

“You’ve been exceptionally chipper lately.” Y/N’s colleague, Lilly, says at lunch on Monday.

“I’m getting laid, that’s why.” Y/N was close with Lilly, it wasn’t unusual for them to have a conversation like this.

“Oh? With who?”

“Do you ever go down to the Yard Dog?”

“The bar where all the students go?” She laughs. “No.”

“Okay, well I go there when my friends come to visit because it’s nostalgic for us, you know? Anyways, there’s this bouncer that works there…and one thing led to another one night and I fucked him in the back office of the building.”

“Oh shit.”

“I know! And then we matched on Bumble a little later, so I went to the bar again, and I waited for him and we fucked at his place, and then the other day he came to my place. We have a regular thing going now.”

“Damn…is it the British guy?”

“Yeah! His name is Harry, do you know him?”

“Yeah, I recruited him for the MBA program.” Lilly worked with international students at the graduate level. Y/N worked in grad admissions as well, but at the domestic level. “I told him to look for a job down there, guess he listened.”

“He’s nice enough, quiet, and sort of intimidating, but he’s nice to me.”

“Well, that’s all that matters.” She laughs. “When do you think you’ll see him again?”

“I don’t know…I was thinking of texting him to come over tonight because he doesn’t work on Monday nights…is that too eager?”

“No way. It’s been established that you’re using each other for a specific service, I say go for it.”

“Right, like, it’s just sex, it’s not like I need to make him dinner or anything.”

“Don’t offer him any food at all. As soon as you share a meal with the person you’re sleeping with, it becomes more.”

“Shit, you’re right…good call.”

“It’s what I’m here for.”

After lunch Y/N goes back to her office and contemplates texting Harry. It really shouldn’t be this difficult, they agreed to make it a regular thing, she should be able to just let him know what she wants.

Y/N: hey, Harry…are you free around 7 tonight?

She sent it, and took a deep breath. It’s fine, this is fine.

Harry: I can be, my place or yours?

She nearly squeals when she sees the response.

Y/N: could we do mine if it’s not too much trouble?

Harry: no trouble at all, see you then

“I could give him some wine or something.” She says to herself. “I know I’ll need to have a glass.”

//

Y/N wasn’t sure what she should wear. Should she stay in her work clothes, which she looked awfully cute in, or should she put something sexier on? Would he even care? She groans to herself as she goes to change into a nicer set of underwear. Maybe he’d appreciate some lace.

“I should really go shopping for some lingerie.” She huffs. Y/N did, however, have a silk robe, so that paired with the lacey underwear would be good enough.

She goes into her kitchen and gets two glasses down, and fills one just under halfway with some sweet red wine. She takes a generous sip, and sighs. There’s a knock at the door, and she goes to answer. She has to keep herself from drooling when she sees him. He was dressed so differently. Usually he was in all black, but tonight he was wearing a long sleeve blue shirt with the first few buttons undone, and a dark blue pair of jeans. He was wearing a black jacket to tie the whole thing together along with a beanie.

“Hey, come on in.” She smiles as he steps inside.

“Getting bloody cold out.” He says as you close the door. “You look cozy.”

“Cozy?” She pouts at him.

“Cute.” He says as he shrugs his jacket off. She unties her robe to slightly reveal how little she has on underneath. “Sexy.”

“Much better.” She giggles. “Would you like a glass of wine or anything?”

“No, thanks.”

He grabs her and holds her from behind. He kisses her cheek, her jaw, and then her neck. She cranes it to give him better access, and he walks her over to the couch. He slides her robe off and turns her around.

“Very sexy.” He pecks her lips. “You wore this for me?”

“I just wanted to look nice.” She starts unbuttoning the rest of his shirt. “Let’s go to the bedroom, it’s comfier.”

Harry nods and follows her in. He cups her jaw as she undoes his pants, and he licks into her mouth. She palms him over his boxers, and he bucks closer into her hand.

“Really wanted my dick tonight, hm?”

“Mhm.”

She puts her hands on his hips and pushes him to sit down on the bed. She sucks on his bottom lips and kisses her way down his stomach until she’s on her knees in front of him. She tugs his boxers off and looks up at him as she wraps her lips around his tip. He runs a soothing hand through her hair and keeps it out of her face for her. She sinks lower on him before popping all the way off and taking him in her hand. She brings her lips back to his tip and just rubs it around her low lip before licking over his slit.

“Feels amazing, Y/N.” His head rolls back momentarily, but he doesn’t want to miss a second, so he forces himself to look back down. “I don’t wanna wait to fuck you…”

She sucks on him a little longer before getting back up. She takes a condom out from one of the cups of her bra and hands it to him as she wiggles out of her panties. She unhooks her bra and lets it drop to the floor. He grabs her hips and turns her around. She sits in his lap as he lines himself up and she moans out. He reaches around front to rub her clit while she moves up and down on him. She turns to face him and she licks into his mouth. She swallows a groan from him. His other hand kneads her breast, and he kisses on her shoulder, biting down just enough to make her gasp. Her head rolls back to his shoulder.

“H-Harry.” She whimpers.

He thrusts up inside her, and she loses all control. She lets him move her, bounce her, whatever she wants. His fingers on her clit felt incredible. Y/N had hooked up with plenty of guys, but Harry was so different. He was attentive. He asked the important questions, and nothing more. She didn’t need to get to know him other than his body, and he felt the same way about her. This was perfect.

“Y/N I’m gonna come.” He grunts into her ear.

“M-me too.” She pants.

She feels him fill up the condom just as she’s coming around him. He peppers her neck and shoulder with kisses before he helps her off of him. She grabs a tee shirt to throw on while he grabs all of his clothes to get dressed.

“Thanks for coming by.” She says as she walks him to the door.

“Thanks for the invite.” He smirks as he gets his beanie back on.

“I felt bad since it was sort of short notice.”

“Gave you my number for a reason, didn’t I? Never be afraid to use it.” He hooks an arm around her waist and pulls her in for a kiss. “Have a good night.”

“You too.” She smiles and so does he. He leaves shortly after that.

Y/N finishes her glass of wine, takes a shower, and puts herself to sleep. She fell asleep with a smile on her face.

//

Things continued you like that for a few weeks. Sometimes Y/N would go over to Harry’s before his shift for a quickie, or if she could stay up, he’d zip over to her place after his shift. If it was a particularly late night, they would sleepover, but other than that they wouldn’t. Not that the either didn’t offer, they were both polite people.

“You seeing that girl again this weekend?” Niall says to Harry as he whips up dinner on Thursday.

“No, I have a weekend intensive, I’m getting an elective out of the way.”

“Are you still working?!”

“I am tonight, but I have Friday and Saturday night off. I couldn’t pass up the tips on ladies night.”

“I hear that.” Niall sets a plate of pancakes in front of Harry.

“Thanks.” He takes a bite. “Do you think I should let her know I won’t be around this weekend?”

“Like ahead of time?”

“Yeah, like, what if she texts me expecting me to come right over and I can’t? I’d feel bad.”

“You could just sext with her.” Niall smirks as he takes a bite of his own pancakes. “You said she was pretty good at that.”

“She’s better than good. She’s a fucking wordsmith.” Harry smiles. “But I’ll be working on the rest of the projects for class, so I won’t have time for that either.”

“So give her a heads up, then no one needs to feel rejected.” Niall shrugs.

“Maybe I should tell her in person, I’m a gentleman after all.”

“Or you wanna bone one more time before having to focus on school.”

“Let’s go with both.”

Harry: wanna come over quick before my shift?

Y/N: god yes, stressful day at work, definitely need the distraction

Harry: cool, come by whenever

“She’s coming over, make yourself scarce.” Harry says to Niall.

“You got it, I’m actually going down to bus some tables for a little extra money.”

Y/N comes over to Harry’s about twenty minutes later, and barely gives him a chance to say hello before she’s kissing him. He carries her to his room, and finally gets a breath in.

“How do you want it, Y/N?” He says against her lips as his hands slide down to her ass.

“I want you to bend me over the bed and fuck me so hard I forget my own name.”

Both of his eyebrows shoot up.

“Shit, you really did have a stressful day, huh?” He caresses one of her cheeks.

“Yeah, I did.” She bites her bottom lip. “But I didn’t come here to talk about it.”

He kisses her again and starts undoing her pants. He knew what she needed, and he was happy to give it to her. Normally he would have taken more time to prep her, but he really did need to be quick so he wasn’t late for work. Once they’re both naked, and he has a condom on, he bends her over his bed, and pushes inside her. She clutches at the blankets as he slams in and out of her.

“Just like that, fuck, Harry!” She moves her ass back against him to feel even more, and it makes him moan out.

“You’re so fucking sexy.” He grunts. “Like it when I give it to you like this?”

“Yes!”

“I want you to come for me.”

“I’m really close, just keep going.” She was starting to pant and squirm.

“Yeah? You’re close?”

“So close, I..oh fuck!”

She releases around him, and he spills into the condom shortly after. He pulls out and helps her stand up. She faces him and wraps her arms around his neck. She slots her mouth over his and he groans into it.

“Fuck, I…I wanna go again, but it would look bad to be late when I live right here.”

“No, it’s okay, um…I’m gonna be busy this weekend, like, I’ll even barely be on my phone.”

“Me too, actually, it’s why I invited you over tonight.” He smiles and steps back to throw the condom away. She starts putting her clothes back on.

“How kind of you.” She laughs as she wipes the smudged makeup under her eyes.

“Feeling better?” He asks as he puts his own clothes on. The ones she’s more familiar with.

“Yeah, thanks.” She smiles. “It’s too bad you have to get right to work.” She puts her hands on his shoulders. “These black shirts look too fucking good on you.”

“Really? I always thought it was the tight jeans.” He smirks.

“That too, your ass is perfect.” She gives him a little pinch and pecks his lips. “Guess we’ll just talk next week?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

“Okay, have a good weekend.”

“You too.”

Harry sighs happily as he goes into his bathroom to fix his hair before his shift. He grabs his jacket and heads down to go outside and starting manning the door. It was the same as ever, lots of pretty girls flirting with him, and him having to turn half of them away because they’re underage. Later on Harry and one of the bartenders to take bets to see who Niall was going to take home later.

“What about you?” Ryan says. “Gonna try to get lucky?”

“Nah, got my fill earlier.” Harry says as he wipes down the bar with a rag. “Plus, all these girls are wasted, you know I don’t play that.”

“True, you’re definitely one of the good ones.” He claps his hand on Harry’s shoulder and gives him a squeeze before going to grab more empty glasses.

Harry didn’t see it like that. Guy or girl, if someone was drunk, he declined any offer he got. It just didn’t feel right to him.

//

Y/N had the day off from work Friday, but only because she had a weekend intensive for grad school. It was an elective she was trying to get out of the way. All of the other classes she had to take were online, but she thought it would be nice to just get this over with in a weekend. It would be a class of twelve people, she just hoped it wouldn’t be awkward.

She gets into the building, and finds the classroom. A couple of people were there already. She finds a spot to sit down and set her things up. There was a poster that was due on the first day. Weekend intensives involved a lot of prep work. She gets her laptop out and sips on her coffee.

Harry was exhausted. He didn’t get off work until nearly 2:30 because people didn’t want to leave the bar. When his alarm went off, he was not looking forward to spending the day with a bunch of people he didn’t know. He was interested in the subject matter, and almost excited to present his poster, he just could have easily done it all in an online class. His eyes were too tired for contacts, so he goes for his glasses. He throws his beanie on, a sweater, and a nice pair of jeans, and heads out. He grabs a cup of coffee before heading for the academic building. He walks in and scans the room. There were a few people there. His eyes widen when he sees Y/N. He wasn’t sure what do. Should he ignore her? Should he sit next to her? Before he can decide she happens to look up and make eye contact with him. He sighs and makes his way over to her table and sits down.

“Thought you just worked here.” He says as he sets his things down.

“I do…but I’m also in grad school. I’m taking this as an elective.”

“Same here. What program are you in?”

“Education, you?”

“MBA.”

“Nice.” She nods. “And here we were thinking we wouldn’t see each other all weekend.”

“Mm, lucky us.” He smirks.

“I didn’t know you wore glasses.” She rests her chin on her palm.

“Something tells me we’re going to get to know each other fairly well in the next forty-eight hours.” He leans back in his chair with his arms crossed. “You okay with that?”

“I don’t quite think I have a choice. It’s not the end of the world, it’s sort of nice to know someone.”

“Yeah, we could grab lunch or something.” He says it nonchalantly as he takes his laptop out of his bag.

“Yeah.” She nods. “Or something.” She winks at him and he smiles as he rolls his eyes.

The professor comes in shortly after, and has everyone sit in a circle. Everyone explains what program they’re in, why they’re in grad school, and what career aspirations they may have. Y/N and Harry were already learning a lot about each other. For example, he thought it was extremely ironic that Y/N recruited students to come get their grad degrees, and she herself didn’t have one yet.

Next, the professor had them all work on a craft project. They had to build these towers that had all these different components. They could listen to their own music and just work away. Harry and Y/N occasionally glanced at each other, but they did their best to focus.

“Okay everyone, it’s time for lunch! Afterwards, we’ll come back and present our towers.” The professor says.

They look at each other awkwardly.

“Our break is an hour and a half.” Harry says to her.

“I don’t need that long to eat, do you?”

“Nah, well…” He smirks at her and she blushes.

“I don’t live that far from here, um…if you wanna just come to my place to eat.”

“Sure.” He shrugs. “Want me to drive, or?”

“No, I can.” She grabs her keys and he follows her out.

Once they’re in Y/N’s apartment, he’s got her laying on the couch with his head between her legs. She tugs at his hair as she squirms underneath him.

“I-I thinking you were hungry than you let on!”

He groans against her in response, and slides two fingers into her as he sucks on her clit. He looks up at her/ She looks down at him, confused for a moment, and then her mouth falls open when he slides a third finger inside her. He pumps them in and out of her slowly to not hurt her. His tongue flicks back and forth on her clit, and she tugs harder on his hair.

“H-Harry!” Her back arches as she comes. He sits up and licks his lips, and his fingers, before undoing his pants. He tugs them down enough to get his dick out. “Condom.” She breathes and points to the side table.

“You keep them in your living room now?” He chuckles as he reaches into the drawer to get one.

“Are you making fun of easy access?”

“Not at all, you’re resourceful.”

He rolls the condom on and moves to hover her. He pushes inside and she wraps her legs around his waist. He bites her bottom lip and sucks on it as he rocks in and out of her. He bottoms out and she gasps. He smirks against her lips and keeps thrusting into the same spot.

“Oh my god.” She moans. “Fuck, that feels so good.”

“Right there?”

“Yeah, right there, don’t stop.” Her breathing gets heavier, and he can feel her tightening around him. She cries out as she comes, and he follows suit.

On the drive back to campus things are quiet, but not uncomfortable. They both head into the classroom, and sit down. Harry takes out the lunch he packed and digs in, Y/N does the same. Once everyone is back, the professor has the class present their towers. It was an oddly emotional experience. Some tears were shed, and there was no judgement whatsoever. Y/N was stunned when it was Harry’s turn. He got choked up when he had to talk about his family. It was just him and his sister. They both needed a change of scenery, so he came to get his grad degree in the states, and she moved to France. That was about all he was willing to say, which was fine.

After the towers are done, there’s a quick bathroom break, and then they get into the poster presentations. Harry found Y/N to be extremely intelligent. She clearly knew what she was talking about. He briefly wondered how such a smart, beautiful girl could be single. Then again, he knew how little free time there was while working full time and going to school. He knew he didn’t have time for a relationship, anyways. Nor was he emotionally available enough for one, but that was a separate story.

“I want to thank you all for the wonderful work you did today. Nothing to work on tonight, as I know today was draining. Tomorrow, we’ll be talking about the readings that were assigned ahead of time.”

It was 8PM, and Y/N was exhausted. Harry happened to park in the same lot as her, so he walks her to her car.

“That was better than I was expecting.” She says.

“Yeah, wasn’t terrible. Sort of flew by.”

“I can’t wait to crawl into bed and just pass out.”

“Same here.” He hits the unlock button for his car. He runs a hand through his hair. “Well, see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” She smiles. “Thanks for the afternoon delight earlier.”

“Please, it was my pleasure.” He winks and opens his car door.

“Harry, wait, uh…”

“Yeah?”

“You live above the bar right?”

“Um…yeah?”

“Well, it’s bound to be pretty loud, how will you sleep?”

“Noise cancelling headphones.”

“Oh.”

“Why?”

“Well, I was thinking you could come back to place if you wanted.”

“Thought you were ready to pass out.”

“I feel like I’m so exhausted that I won’t be able to sleep.” She laughs. “Would be nice to be able to roll over and have the person there that’s usually good to make me fall asleep.”

“I like the way you think. Let me just grab some clothes from my place and then I’ll head over.”

“Sounds good.”

Harry comes over to Y/N’s, and needless to say after a couple rounds they both sleep pretty well. He was snuggled up against her when her alarm goes off.

“I need to shower.” She yawns. “Feel free to sleep a little longer.”

“I could go for a shower, actually.” His hand drifts down between her legs and she starts rubbing her folds.

“Please tell me you wanna fuck in the shower.”

“I wanna fuck in the shower.”

“Race you!” Y/N kicks the covers back and sprints to her bathroom. Harry wasn’t too far behind.

Once they’re in the water, he has her pressed up against the wall. He fingers her, slow at first, and then he picks up the pace. She wraps her hand around him and pumps him at the same time. Her other hand squeezes at his chest, leaving crescent shaped marks behind. They come at the same time, and then take turns actually showering.

Harry gets dressed while Y/N is still in the bathroom, doing her morning skin care. He stands in the bathroom doorway for a moment.

“So, I’m gonna head out, you good?”

“Yeah, go on.” She waves him off. “See you in a little while.”

“I’m gonna grab coffee, do you want anything?”

“No! No, um, that’s okay, I’ll just make my own here, uh, thanks though.”

“Alright.” He shrugs. “See ya.”

//

Harry sits next to Y/N again in class. She enjoyed listening to him speak about the readings. She shouldn’t be surprised at how articulate he could be. Sometimes when they sent explicit texts her would write these paragraphs describing the things he would do to her.

It was another long day. This time around, Y/N was truly exhausted, and wasn’t in the mood to fuck, so she doesn’t offer to Harry to spend the night again, not that he was expecting her to. He walks her to her car, and they say goodnight.

Sunday was a half day, and time for reflection on their final papers. As they were packing up at the end of class, curiosity takes over Y/N.

“So, how many more credits do you need?”

“Not sure, honestly. I just know I have another year and half. What about?”

“I have, like, five more classes to take. I can only do a couple per semester. I’m done until end of January, which is nice.”

“I wish more of my classes were online. I have a class that meets twice a week in the afternoons, so my break won’t start for another few weeks.”

“Do you…see your sister often? Like, will you spend the holidays with her?”

“Y/N, we don’t have to do this.” He says as he slings his bag over his shoulder. They start walking out together.

“Do what?”

“This.” He gestures between them. “I sort of like that we don’t know a ton about each other. It makes it easier just to meet up and do what we do, you know?”

“Oh! Yeah, I completely agree…I just…” She stops when they reach their cars.

“You’re a compassionate person, I can see that. I do see my sister. We FaceTime when we can, and we take turns visiting. I spend the holidays with my roommate, he’s one of the other bouncers. I’m going to France for a bit this summer when I’ll have more free time. Any other questions?” He smiles at her.

“Nope, that’s about all I wanted to know.” She smiles back. “I’ll see you soon.”

“See you soon.”

//

Mike: the boys are coming to town this weekend, be ready to get fucked up!

Y/N: god bless, I love boys weekend!

Y/N goes over to Mike’s Friday night, and they all pregame before heading to the bar. As they approach, she realizes she forgot to give Harry a heads up that she was coming. His eyes widen when he sees her.

“Where’s your coat?” He asks immediately.

“I…didn’t need it.” She blushes.

He rolls his eyes as he checks everyone else’s ID’s.

“It’s cold out…” He frowns at her. “And you’re wearing a crop top and jeans.”

“Don’t worry, dude, we’ll keep her plenty warm.” Drew says and throws an arm around her shoulders. “Let’s go.”

She giggles and goes inside with her friends. It puts a sour taste in his mouth. Obviously he didn’t own her, and he knew they had to be just friends, but he wondered if she had a past with any of them.

Y/N and her friends do three rounds of tequila shooters before hitting the dance floor. Harry was at the point of the night where he was inside the bar helping out. One of the bartenders snaps her fingers at him and points at two idiots who were demanding to be served more. Harry grabs Niall and they make the people leave. When Harry gets back inside he sees Y/N on the dancefloor grinding against Rob, and Conor. They were all laughing, but he didn’t like what he was seeing at all. If she needed something to grind against, all she had to do was ask.

“I’m gonna go to the ladies room!” She shouts at them, and leaves the dance floor to go wait in line.

She sees Harry and who she assumes is Niall walk by everyone and pound on the door. Harry kicks the door open and finds three people doing lines off the bathroom counter.

“Jesus Christ.” Niall groans. “You can’t be doing that in here!”

Harry and Niall grab the guys, and they struggle at first, but they get them out of the bathroom.

“Now we have to fucking call the police.” Harry says as he basically picks one of them up by the back of their shirt. “Tom’s gonna love this.”

“Doing fucking drugs in the bathroom, grow up boys.” Niall says and Y/N watches as they get them out of the bar.

“Holy shit.” She says to herself.

Around last call, Y/N sees Harry behind the bar cleaning up. She goes up and sits down on one of the few open stools. She taps her finger nails on the bar and he looks at her. She pouts and bats her lashes at him.

“You can come up later, but I’m not fucking you.”

“Why not?”

“You’re drunk.”

“We’ve had sex before after I’ve been drinking.” She scoffs.

“Not like this, you’ve had a lot. I saw the tab.”

“So then why would you want me to come up if we can’t fuck?”

“Because…I…where would you go otherwise?”

“Back to Mike’s.” She points over at her friends. “We do, like, a group sleepover when they come visit, it’s fun.” Harry scrunches his face slightly at that. “What?”

“You all stay in the same bed?”

“No, don’t be silly, I usually end up sleeping in Mike’s bed with him, and one of the other guys. We did it a lot when we were all in school together.”

“Is that all you did?” Harry plants both of his hands on the bar and cocks his head. “With them?”

“Are you asking me if I’ve ever slept with one of them? Because that’s really none of your business.”

“From the way you were dancing with them I didn’t even think you’d be looking to go home with me.” She starts giggling and smiling at him. “What?”

“I just didn’t you could get any cuter, and here you are being a jealous little thing.”

“I’m not jealous.” He scoffs.

“Really? So it wouldn’t bother you if I went back with all of them, and tugged one of them into the bathroom with me, and got all hot and naked?”

“Nope.” He smirks. “Because you’d be thinking of me the whole time, babe.” He leans forward and pecks her lips. “Or am I wrong about that?”

“So I can really come up when you’re done?”

“Yeah, but no hanky panky.” She bursts out laughing at that.

“I am totally down to just cuddle.”

“Better tell them that.” He nods towards the group of boys and she turns around. She waves goodbye to them and they all give her a thumbs up. “They’re a supportive group, huh?”

“You have no idea.”

//

Y/N was doing her best to stay awake, sipping on some water at the bar, while Harry was running around cleaning up. Her eyes flutter closed for a moment when she feels his hand on her back.

“M’all set.” He says.

“Okay.” She yawns. “Think I’m sober now if you wanna get a little frisky.” She wobbles a bit as she gets on her feet.

“Mhm, yeah.” He chuckles. “Come on booze-bag, let’s get you up to bed.”

“Heyyy, don’t be mean.” She swats at his chest. “I only drink like this when my boyfriends come to town.”

He rolls his eyes as he helps her up the stairs to his apartment. He gets her into the bathroom first, using a warm washcloth to help take her makeup off. She giggles and sighs as he does so. Harry could be really gentle when he wanted to be. He gives her some privacy when she needs to use the toilet, and then he leads her into his room.

“Alright, you can have the Kiss shirt for bed.”

“Oh, my favorite!”

He chuckles and helps her out of her clothes, and into the bed shirt. He strips down to his boxers and gets into bed with her. She lays her head right on his chest.

“Why didn’t you wear a coat tonight?”

“I got drunk at Mike’s and felt too warm to wear it when we made our way to the bar. Why do you care so much?”

“I saw on the news once that a lot of college girls get sick or get hypothermia from not dressing warm enough on their ways to parties or whatever. It’s scary.” She shifts to look up at him. He moves some hair away from her face. “I got nervous when I saw you walking up.”

“You were worried about me?”

“A little.” He clears his throat. “But to be fair, I worry about everyone I see dressed like that.”

“Mm, nice save.”

“Shut up.” He smirks. “You’re only here so I can fuck you in the morning.”

“Got that right. You could fuck me now if you wanted.”

“No, I couldn’t.” He strokes her cheek. “It wouldn’t be right.” He says softly. “Try and sleep, yeah?”

“Okay.” She mumbles and nuzzles into his chest.

He plays with her hair until her breathing evens out. He rolls over onto his side, and he feels her tighten her hold around his stomach. It had been quite some time since Harry let someone spoon him, but right now it just felt nice. He puts his hand over hers, just to give her a comforting squeeze, but she ends up lacing her fingers with his. He doesn’t pull away, he just lets it be. He knows he’s fucked now, of course, but he tells himself he’ll worry about it after some sleep.

Part Two

[dimpledlavendeer]

This is a bit long and suggestive

I can't belive this is what I'm imagining in my exam week but he's Lee Heeseung after all isn't he 😩🖤

Making out with a Jealous Heeseung

Ft.Jay and Minhee from cravity

Jay invited you both to one of this fancy night club kind of place

Heeseung definitely didn't want to go

You had to convince him because it was important for Jay, plus all the other boys were going so it would be rude not to go

You two started getting ready to meet with the others at the club

You wore something like this, not too revealing

Heeseung was not the type of boyfriend to get involved with the way you dress, he always admired and praised your beauty so you were comfortable with anything you wear

When you were finally ready, you go down stairs to meet a grumpy Heeseung

A playful smile formed on his face when he saw you

"It's still not too late to spend the night for ourselves baby"

"We talked about this Heeseung, we can come home early but we should be there"

He sighed deeply "Fine"

You gave him a peck on the lips and turn around to go get your jacket but he held you from your waist

"You look amazing" he said in a whispering tone

You placed your hands around his neck "I always do"

He was in love with your confident figure even tho it's not always the way your are but once you are he found it incredibly attractive

Your hands were playing with the ends of his long black hair, slowly getting closer to him

His grip on your waist were getting even tighter, his eyes focused on your lips while he was licking his

You loved to see your affect on him with a simple movement but you didn't have time for a make out right now

So you just kissed his cheek before saying "You have to be a bit patient tonight"

The expression on his face changed drastically as he frustratedly said "You're so freaking cruel"

The way he looked so cute while saying this made you giggle which made him groan in frustration

You hold him from his neck to give him another small peck on the lips, this time he hold your face

"Kiss me right" he commanded before smashing his lips into yours

One of his hands was holding your face so that he could kiss you the way he wanted

and the other one was trailing down to your waist

When he teasingly bite on your lower lip you let out a little whine, gripping on his shirt

He tilted your head to a side to reveal your neck to him

He was leaving wet kisses everywhere, making you completely forget about going out to meet with others

When he started sucking on your skin, your head managed to start functioning and remembering that you're being late

"P-please, we have to go" you said breathing heavily

"They can wait for a bit longer" he said definitely not caring about anything else but you atm

You managed to hold his chin to make him look at you

His black hair was a bit messy now but that looked even better, his dark eyes were looking into yours with anticipation while his hand on your waist was gripping you tighter than ever

He was needy right now and it looked great on him

"We have to go" you said kissing him once more

He fixed your hair and wipe your lipstick away from his lips before saying "You owe me a night"

You giggled and kissed his neck before fixing your make up to go out

After you arrived at the place the others were, you get inside holding Heeseung's hands

It didn't take long for you guys to find Jay, he hugged you both before showing you the way to meet the rest of the boys

It was so loud and filled with people, everyone was dancing like crazy,, everyone was drunk

It felt so unfamiliar to you but Hee wasn't looking affected at all

Jay and Hee were talking about something and it looked serious considering the way they talked even with this music blasting out

Jay took you to a place with less people at least there were places to sit now

Whatever they were discussing about was serious so Heeseung told you to sit there and wait for him for a while, before following Jay

You were sitting alone, with a couple of people next to you but definitely not as crowded as the previous place

Your eyes were on your phone so that you could answer when Hee calls to not worry him

When you lift your head from your phone you saw a glass of drink and a smiling face in front of you

"Minhee?"

"Hey y/n"

"Oh my God Kang Minhee?! What are you doing here?!"

You were so surprised to see one of your friends from high school at a freaking night club

"As you can see I'm working as the hot bartender ;)" he was looking almost the same as before but more handsome

You giggled at his words, "I always knew you were the club boy anyways" you said

He laughed at your words "Look who's talking club girl" he said winking at you

"It's been so long since the last time I can't belive we met like this" you said

"Well time did you good" he said smiling "You look amazing"

You smiled back, "Said the boy crush of the school" you said teasing him

He was one of your closest friends at high school but you guys got drifted away because of his "relationships" with other girls

"Oh so you're still into me huh?" He said smirking

You know he was joking but somehow it made you uncomfortable, thinking about Hee

Yes Minhee was everyone's crush back in the days and yes you two had a history but it was all at past

A broken smile formed on your face remembering of the past, your gaze focus on the glass

When you lifted your head to respond to him your eyes met with your boyfriend's

His strong gaze was focused on you while he was watching you from behind

"Fuck.." you murmured, he probably misunderstood the way you speak with a stranger all giggly and stuff

You watched Heeseung while his jaw was clenching, when Minhee followed your gaze he saw a furious Heeseung looking at you two

"I'll explain to him" Minhee said moving towards Heeseung

You were panicked so you grabbed Minhee from his arm to stop him before realizing you screwed up even more by doing that

Heeseung's gaze fall into your hands on Minhee's arm before he walked towards you

He grabbed you from your arm literally dragging you with him to the exit

He was so damn angry you could see it from his furrowed brows and clenching jaw and you had had no idea how to explain it to him

"Heeseung, please slow down okay?"

No response

"It's not what it looks like istg"

Again no response

"DAMN IT HEESEUNG MY ARM HURTS CAN YOU CALM DOWN?"

He stopped in front of his car opening the door for you

"Get in" he said

"Listen to me Heeseung, please"

He didn't even look at you before going to his side of the car to get in, not repeating himself for you to get in

You did as he said, getting in realizing even more how angry he was

He was just driving without talking, brows furrowed,eyes focused on the road

But the problem is that he was driving so fast and you started to get scared at this point

"We're going so fast" you managed to say in a low tone eyes focused on him

"Mind your own business" he replied back

"Heeseung don't be like this" you said moving towards him

He started to drive even faster at your actions not caring about anything

You were so frustrated because he didn't even listen to you and you had enough

"Slow down" you said raising your tone

He didn't care at all

"ENOUGH" you said grabbing his hand making him pull the car off to the side of the road

He grabbed your hand pulling you close to him, grabbing your hair with his other hand and smashing his lips to yours

Your other hand was in the air not knowing where to land at his sudden action which was not what you were expecting at all

He was kissing you aggressively, tongue inside your mouth like he was discovering somewhere new

He let go of your hand, placing his hand on your throat instead

He bite your lower lip as if he was trying to make it bleed while slightly squeezing your throat with one of his hands

"Get to the backseat" he whispered on your lips, unfastening his belt and yours

You got out of the car, getting to the backseat and him following you

"Sit" he said showing his lap and so you did placing your legs on both sides, sitting on his lap while looking at his eyes

He pushed your hair behind your shoulders, then placing one of his hands back to where it was on your throat

"Minhee huh? Your ex?" He asked teasing while his index finger was playing with your lower lip

"He isn't my ex"

"Hmm" he got closer to lick your lips then pulling off

He wasn't believing you and you honestly had no idea what he was thinking

All you could think was to kiss him and apologize until he forgives you

Your breath was getting heavier at the sight of him looking that good, his sharp features glowing at night

"How can I make myself forgiven?"

"So you admit you flirted with him while i was gone"

"No, I wasn't he is one of my old friends from high school"

"Which you have a past with" he added to your words

"I-"

"Shhhh" he said cutting you his index finger pressed on your lips, while his other hand was moving down to your ass

He hold your jaw to bring you closer to himself "Make me belive you"

"I'll do anything"

"Anything?" He asked with a small smirk on his face

"Yes, just tell me anything you want please Heeseung"

"Hmmm"

"I'm loyal only to you" you said kissing him, closing the gap between your bodies

He kissed you back, hands on your thighs squeezing your flesh and pulling you close even more

A little moan escaped from your mouth to his lips when he grabbed your ass moving his hips under you

You hold onto his neck, his other hand on your hair, tilting your head to a side to make a better way for his tongue to find yours

His small hip movements under you made you crazy with how the way he touched you, more passionate than ever

He moved onto your jawline licking his way down to your neck placing wet kisses before sucking your skin

Your hand sliding into his hair slightly gripping on them before he held your hands and lead them to behind your back, holding with one of his hands not letting you touch him

His other hand was drawing slow, small circles on your back while he was still working on your neck

You were sure everywhere he bites would turn into bruises tomorrow but honestly you just wanted more

His hand on your back, his hips moving under yours, his lips on your neck everything was too perfect

"I'm sorry, I didn't know he would flirt me" you said in a shaky voice

He sucked on your flesh harshly making you whine, making it clear that he was still pissed off

"I only love you, just you" you said voice cracking, because you hated yourself for making him feel this bad

"How much do you love me?" He whispered to your ear

"As much as to do anything you want me to do for you"

"That's daring for you to say considering our situation now y/n" he said moving his hips, pushing you down on his lap

"I mean what I said" you said before leaning in to kiss him

"We'll see" he said caressing your skin, he seemed to belive you but he still needed you to calm him down a bit

"Tell me what to do" you said kissing his nose

"You owed me a night remember? Pay me back once we're home" he said kissing your collarbone before hugging you tightly, face buried on your chest

"Anything for you, Heeseung"

[cherrysha]

The Chase

Hey! First post on this blog and its something I’ve never actually written before! Its Yandere Hisoka because I just rlly have a soft spot fr evil bastards. I want to write a lil more on this one buuut ive got sum other baddies i need to write for first. Since its my 1st time writing a yandere fic feedback is rlly appreciated <3

My requests are open atm 

Warnings: Blood, a lil spit, Choking, Yandere themes, violence, slapping, crying, uhh Hisoka being a pervert but thats expected

word count: 1,600

18+ crowd here, minors get blocked.

Part 2 here

It didn’t take you long to understand why you were told to stay away. To be exact, it only took you three seconds.

-

“You know why no one has ever collected Hisoka’s bounty y/n?” your boss asked you after taking this mission.

Judging from his face you could tell the question was rhetorical. You rolled your eyes, waiting for him to finish his little lecture. “No one is stupid enough to walk into their own funeral. If you take his bounty you might as well pick out your own casket first, assuming you even have a body left to bury when he’s done with you. If you know what’s good for you, you’ll leave this one alone.” And with that, you left slamming the door behind you. No matter how many bounties you collected, it seemed like he just never gave you credit. It was just like him to underestimate your capabilities.

What a fool you were.

-

           That’s all it took. Three seconds and he had already sensed you. Even though you concealed your nen, even though you were a rooftop away, even though you took every single fucking precaution you knew, it did you no good. As you peered through your binoculars at him you were met with Hisoka’s full gaze, a sly smile spreading across his face. You felt it then, your hair standing on end, a sickening feeling in your gut. No, you hadn’t just walked to your funeral, you had sprinted.

You were running before you could even comprehend what happened, feet hitting the pavement as you tried to get as far away as possible. There was no time for you to be shocked, if his bloodlust was any indication of his power, you were as good as dead. There was no use in using any energy to try and conceal yourself now. He knew exactly where you were.

“I’ve got to be honest, you are definitely not what I expected…” Hisoka’s voice whispers into your ear. You faltered, your feet tripping over themselves as you felt the warmth of his breath on your neck. You couldnt hide the shock you felt that he had been able to catch up to you in such a short amount of time. Not many people could, and you had a head start. He lets you run anyway; his urge to murder you overpowered by his sudden desire to see you try to escape. No, he was going to savor this one. Hisoka always loved playing with his food and the way your heart was pounding was just too enticing.

-

You intrigued him, if he was being honest with himself. The chase had lasted longer than he had imagined. Any other bounty hunter would have stopped and tried to fight him by now. No, he could tell you were a smart one, you knew better than that. Hours of running had led to this moment and, oh, was he going to relish in it. 

After what seemed like forever, you finally hit the dirt, spluttering as your body gave out due to exhaustion. Such a weak little thing. And to think you truly believed you could take him on. It was laughable. The chase seemed as if it were over, Hisoka sighed, giving up on his hopes of toying with you even more. At this point he knew he might as well finish you off. He didn’t like playing with broken things, and right now there was no way you would ever be able to take him on. His eyes lingered over you, and something in him hesitated as he glanced at your crumpled form lying in the dirt, chest heaving with exhaustion. Hisoka’s gaze wandered over your body. He couldn’t help the smug smile that crept onto his face with how wrecked you look. Clothes grimy and tattered, bloody arms and legs from branches hitting your delicate skin. The sight alone made his mouth water. As you laid there and finally caught your breath his resolve to kill you started waning. But the thought of watching you try to run again sounded so boring. Both of you knew there was no point. Before he could jump down and finish you off, you spoke for the first time since his little chase started.

“There’s no point in hiding up there. I’m not stupid enough to believe I’ve gotten away.” Once he heard the lilt in your voice, he knew he wanted you. The twinkle that was still held in your dry throat was his undoing. How could someone run from death for hours and still sound as angelic as you did? He needed to know, he needed to hear more.

Your first good look at him was when he finally jumped down. Lithe and nimble, landing on his feet like a cat. He seemed well built, albeit his fashion sense was more than off-putting. “So perceptive…To think someone as smart as you would try to murder me. You should know better.” he chastised, circling you as you shifted into a kneeling position. This was it, twenty plus years on this earth just to go out in a single second. You sighed, it came with the job. You knew the risks. Now was no time to hold a pity party. “Can you make it quick? I promise you I’d rather die than hear you drone on and on about how foolish I am.” You didn’t look at him, instead you held your head down and waited. The chuckle he let out was low in his throat, almost imperceptible if you hadn’t been in the quiet of the forest. Surprisingly, his voice was still calm and collected as he smiled down at you “And what if I don’t want to do that? I don’t think you’re in a position to be making any orders little girl.” you held in the anger you felt bubbling to the surface, knowing that it would only serve to amuse him further. He wanted a reaction out of you, wanted to rile you up so killing you would be even more fun for him. You bit your lip, trying your hardest to resist the urge to punch his stupid face in.

Hisoka drew closer, bending down until you flinched away “Would you like to live?” he whispered, lips ghosting against your ear. His proximity sent a shiver down your spine, as if your body could sense how dangerous he was. “I’m not going to beg for my life Hisoka. You might as well end it now.” He groaned at that. God, did he love the sound of your voice saying his name. it felt as if he could live off of it alone. His fingers slowly traced your jaw until he reached your chin, pushing it up so he could finally get a good look at your face. “You’re a proud little thing aren’t you? No matter, I’m positive your defiant attitude will dwindle with time.” Your breath hitched at his last words. No, He wasn’t going to torture you if you could help it.

The anger was building up in your chest and you couldn’t help yourself when his face was just mere inches from yours. You spit, but that only managed to make his grin grow wider. Even though his demeanor seemed calm, his aura showed the opposite. Long nails dug into your skin as he gripped your jaw tight, blood seeping from the fresh puncture wounds. This time the laugh was audible, amusement in his eyes making your stomach curl. You werent given enough time to react to it for long, however. He lifted you off the ground by your throat, loving the way your hands instinctively curled around his arm. So soft and warm, so easily breakable. He wondered how long it would take to pull you apart piece by piece. Wondered how you’d look at him once he put all your pieces back together.

This was it; this was exactly what you wanted. A swift death. You closed your eyes again and waited as your airway was slowly constricted by Hisoka’s large hand. If you had kept them open, you would have seen the way he swiped your spit off of his cheek, sucking his fingers into his mouth and indulging in his first taste of you. His groan was mixed with a small whine this time. He wanted more; He needed more. His first taste and he already knew he would never get enough of you.

Meanwhile somewhere in the back of your mind you were amazed at how strong he was to only lift you with one hand, but you pushed it away. What a silly thought to have right before you die. of course he was stronger than you. Instead you tried to focus your mind on something better, something sweet. The sky right after a storm, the pond near your house with dozens of colorful fish, the feeling of your warm bed. Everything was going to be okay. You relaxed, letting the last of your breath go.

But within a split second he had dropped you, laughing as your body thudded against the ground. “Such an interesting little creature … A lot smarter than I gave you credit for. You already know just how to push my buttons don’t you sweetheart?” Gasping for air, you lay back in the dirt and allowed the tears to flow freely down your face and into the packed soil beneath you. You had been so close to cutting it short, so close to dying with at least a shred of your dignity left. To cry while on death’s doorstep was shameful, but it didn’t matter. It wan’t  like you could hide them once the torture started. Might as well lose your pride now, there wasn’t anything you could do. You were entirely helpless.

Hisoka saw it, the slump in your shoulders as the tears streaked through the grime covering your face. Those tears, he had to make sure that he was the only one who ever saw them. You were crying for yourself now, but once he got you home the only tears he wanted you to shed would be for him. From the pleasure he gave you. No, no one else could see them. They were his, you were his. He was determined to make you see, no matter how long he had to drill it into your stubborn head. The things he was planning on doing … he needed to ruin you.

Hisoka lifted you up by your neck again, but this time his grip was loose enough to allow you to breath. His hand came to your tangled hair, combing through before harshly yanking backwards only stopping once your face was mere inches from his own. You closed your eyes, not wanting to look at him. Not wanting to see the evil lurking just beneath the surface. Hisoka sighed, “Open your eyes for me darling.” You shook your head as best as you were able to with his grip still firmly in your hair. You couldnt trust yourself to speak, fearing your voice would crack and show just how weak you were.

 An audible crack echoed in your ears as Hisoka slapped you, biting back his moan at the whimper you let out. “Love, it’s impolite to close your eyes when I’m trying to speak to you. I thought my suggestion was enough, but if I have to use force then so be it.”. Fresh tears flowed as you stared at him, biting back your sobs as best as you could. You watched his yellow eyes flick to your cheek, smile widening in satisfaction at what he saw there. He tilted you impossibly close, licking up a trail of tears that marred your swollen and dirty face. “So sweet” he groaned, letting his head rest against yours. “And all mine.”.

[yandere-sins]

Hiya!! Love your work 💕 May I please request 17 and 49 from your supernatural prompts with Diavolo? (Or like, whichever one you prefer!) ✨

How about both! Thank you so much for requesting my favorite character atm ;; I love Diavolo a LOT! Enjoy!

“I left my mark on you, isn’t that enough?”  &  “I haven’t met a human like you in a while… How interesting.” 

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««   

Ever since you came to the Devildom, your interactions with Diavolo had been sparse. Of course, you two greeted each other in the hallways, or you saw him around Lucifer a few times. But your overall interactions with the lord had been as little as the activities you were actually doing the first two months living there. Aside from studying and hanging out with the brothers, you hadn’t exactly gone out or gotten in trouble with someone either. You had done nothing to be called into a private audience with Diavolo.

Accordingly nervous, you found yourself sitting on a chair right in front of the big work desk that was Diavolo’s place of command. Neither he nor Barbatos gave you much attention as he had just asked you inside and to take a seat, explaining he had to tend to this report before he had the time for you. You never had witness Diavolo at work, so this was quite new, and a little intimidating, as his expression was way more serious than the usual chipper one he greeted you with.

“[Name],” he called out to you, your mind spacing out as you fiddled with the hem of your uniform, wondering what you did to end up here. Without looking at his butler, Diavolo handed him the paper he had just written, Barbatos taking it and excusing himself with a brief nod in your direction. Immediately, as you met Diavolo’s eyes, his face cheered up, his usual big smile taking over his lips. “Sorry to make you wait, you probably were nervous when I called you here, weren’t you? I don’t plan anything bad, I promise!”

Laughing loudly, he had seen right through you, embarrassingly fast. But his words helped you to relax and take a deep breath, and you quickly replied, “It’s fine!” 

“Good,” he chuckled, nodding knowingly. “I wanted to know if you were able to settle in and get along with everyone well. I hope no one is bothering you?”

Prompted by him to answer his question, you spoke freely about your experience so far. You had no reason to hold back about how well you got along with Mammon and Levi and were slowly warming up with everyone else, happy to tell him about how you spent a lot of time studying and progressing with your tasks. Diavolo made courteous nods and hums next to your tales, though his smile was slowly dwindling the longer you continued talking about other people rather than yourself.

“That sounds like you’ve been having a great time,” he noted, interrupting you and sending a sudden shiver down your spine as you heard an unsuspected chilliness to his voice.

“Ah, yes. It’s been going very well for me.”

“I see.” Standing up from his chair, you were almost urged to do the same, but he stopped you with a wave of his hand, making you sink back while he surrounded his table, leaning against the front. “You’ve been making a few pacts as I heard, I hope those demons have been treating you well too?”

Nodding enthusiastically, you couldn’t help but feel a sudden rush of intimidation wave over you. After all, you hadn’t spent time in private with Diavolo before, so you never quite noticed just how piercing his eyes were, especially when he was so close. And with him standing in front of you, for the first time, you really noticed his authority. His whole body language was pushing you down into your place, arms crossed, leaning against the table leisurely. It showed you exactly how little of a threat you were, and considering you two were from different species, this was a situation you subconsciously took as a red flag.

“It certainly has been some time that anyone managed to get more than one pact, especially in such a short time. And from what I heard, you are still going strong, befriending everyone. I haven’t met a human like you in a while... how interesting.”

His praise was rather dull-spoken as Diavolo pushed himself away from his table, rounding you at a leisure pace. His eyes never left you, and you felt them sting even in your back as you tried to remain calm. It would have been foolish to think of yourself as an animal that was being circled by its inevitable demise, the hunter, but it almost seemed the part.

Flinching as you felt his fingers brush over the back of your shoulders, brushing aside some strands of hair and revealing your neck, Diavolo let out a few chuckles. You suddenly felt very aware that HE must be aware, toying with your nervousness. When he finally came back into your field of vision, it was almost a relief, though you still got caught off-guard as he started to speak again, voice booming and imbuing as ever.

“So, I was thinking...” he started, clapping his hands together to cause another scare to your discomfort. By now, your fingers had started clawing into the fabric of your trousers, while your mind was confused about why you’d be so scared of a person who you knew as nothing but kind until now.

“Maybe we should make a pact. How about it? Any wishes?”

Mouth falling open, you were speechless for a second, his words replaying in your head. It was a sudden proposal, and though you should have been overjoyed about it, you felt reluctant, considering who he was. “W-With me, Sir?” you asked, trying to stay polite. “Yes!” he was quick to answer, and it only confused you more as he seemed like he was serious.

“I-I don’t really have a reason to... right now,” you stuttered. You weren’t even sure how to handle pacts, yet, one with a demon like Diavolo. He wasn’t just any demon, he wasn’t even like the brothers. He was the alpha and the omega of the Devildom, and he probably had more power than he knew what to do with.

“I’d like to be in on the fun... Get to know you better, help you out. I am very sure I can be helpful when times get tough, you know?” Diavolo had his arguments, but there was a nagging in the back of your head that it wasn’t right still. You didn’t even deserve a demon like him... right?”

“Do you want to see it?” he whispered into your ear all of a sudden, and you almost jumped off your chair as you hadn’t noticed him move. “What do you mean?” you squeaked as you quickly tried to follow him with your gaze this time, while he passed you again. It somehow scared you to let him out of your eyes by now, never knowing what he was going to do next and what hid behind the obligatory smile on his lips.

“Why, my mark, of course,” he laughed carefreely, smoke rising from his hand before a hand-mirror was revealed from it. “Have a look, it’s right there.” Sliding the mirror into your hand, he tapped above your chest a few times, signaling you where his mark would be. It was almost embarrassing to pull away your coat and shirt to look at the place it appeared, finding it to be right above your heart. But he was right, as his sigil shone right where he promised it was, colorful and strongly. It was a vain thought, but you almost felt a surge of power just by looking at it.

“That’s... I am... I’m not sure, Sir. I don’t think I deserve to make a pact with you.”

Your words weren’t exactly to his liking, but you only caught his disapproving expression for the last second on his reflection in the mirror. Without knowing why, you were puzzled to see him displeased, not knowing the things Diavolo was planning for you once he had you in his strings. “That’s not true, [Name],” he sighed, putting his hands on your shoulders, fingers going down one after the other.

Diavolo opened his mouth, but for a second, he soaked in the warm feeling beneath his palms, dragging his hands down to your arms and up towards your neck again. You were so close. So close to being his, he could taste it on the tip of his tongue.

“You deserve my power. An amazing human like you deserves me- my power. We’d be good... partners.”

It was hard to think under the strain of his fingers digging into your shoulder flesh, but the least you could do was consider his words, that much you owed him. “I--” you started, thinking about still telling him ‘no’, when he suddenly seemed to vanish again, your head looking around frantically.

You felt his fingers around your chin before you saw him, Diavolo directing you towards his body squatted down on your right side, next to your chair. He didn’t look all that intimidating anymore when he was crouched next to you, smiling with shining eyes. “Don’t you want to get stronger? Perform your very best this year? You and I can make that true!”

“I... yeah,” you admitted. You did want to do your very best for the time here in Devildom, that’s what had been your ambition in this exchange program. And certainly, no one was better suited to help you then Diavolo was. Sneaking another glance at his mark in the mirror, you again felt the source of power that it emitted, feeling a little smitten by that feeling rushing through you. This realization didn’t go unnoticed by the future ruler of the Devildom, Diavolo’s smile growing a bit wider even. Humans were nothing but easy. The all desired something, and all he had to do was play the right chords for you to fall directly into his trap.

“Okay,” you finally agreed, and he laughed merrily, standing up with ease and pulling you along by the wrist. “Very well, let’s go then!” he announced, starting to march towards the door to the hallway while you stumbled after him. “Where are we going?” you asked, confused.

“To the palace, of course! It’s where we will live, after all.”

“What? But what reason would I have to live there? I got lodged at the House of Lamentation, right?”

At this, Diavolo took another chipper step before halting and promptly turning around to face you with a cheerful, yet, belittling expression. “What reason? I left my mark on you, isn’t that enough? You need to be with me, how else do you think our pact could work?”

“B-But--”

“Oh, [Name]!” he laughed. You were cute, still so clueless about the spark behind his eyes. It was just another trait he looked forward to using for his own gain.

“Just listen to me, and you will be fine,” he ‘calmed’ you, ignoring any further attempts of you not to follow him. Pacts weren’t fair when the power balance was so off. You would have to offer him much to ever repay the debt you put yourself into by agreeing, which wasn’t something you had been made aware of before. But what did you expect? Diavolo was still a demon. He wouldn’t have told you about the things he wanted to do with this delicious, unique soul of yours.

Instead, he rather called it a learning experience. And he'd teach you for a long time.

»»————-———— ♡ ————————-««   

Feel free to request from the Supernatural Prompts too!

[sunflowersseemhappy]

Can we have soft ones of the main 6 crying then mc comes to gently kiss away all their tears before asking what's wrong?

So. Here. We. Go! Tbh I can perfectly relate to wanting to cry atm, but at least I have some lovely requests to fill up my time! I hope you enjoy!

REQUESTS OPEN and here is my Masterlist!

Asra

Strange, you can’t find Asra anywhere.

Maybe once upon a time it would have been normal but its been a long time since he just disappeared without telling you.

So despite the supplies in need of stacking on the shelves you look everywhere for him; behind the counter and in between the shelves.

You’re just about to make your way up the stairs stopping as you draw past the reading room.

Someone sniffles behind the curtain, almost bemused you swipe it back half expecting Asra to jump out to scare you with his sly fox-like smirk.

Its empty, you could have sworn...

Another sniffle, from under the table. The purple cloth flutters slightly as you crouch down with a roll of your eyes, pulling back the cloth.

“Haha Asra very funny, come out-” Asra’s jumps from within the shadows, his head cracking against the underside of the table with a dull thud.

How did you manage to surprise him? Surely he knew you were there?

But then you notice the reason he’s hiding when you look at his face; ruddy and tear-stained, his eyelashes have droplets of water on them and he’s curled up against his knees hugging them to his chest.

Without thinking you crawl on your hands and knees toward him, placing your hands on his knees and pushing them down so you can sit facing him in his lap.

You don’t say anything else as you wrap your arms around his neck, you don’t need to, but Asra seems unsure as his arms wrap around your waist and he buries his face into your neck letting out a broken sob.

The tears run down your collarbone as you massage a hand against his scalp, whenever Asra cries your heart aches, this time is no different.

You pull back slightly and caress his jaw with your hand, stroking his ear and the side of his face, wiping tears away with your thumb as his cautious eyes gaze up into your face.

You hold his gaze steady before kissing his chin, trailing your lips to the corners of his mouth and to his nose where a stray tear is hanging of it, then along his cheeks and finally planting gentle fluttering kisses to his eyelids.

The kisses themselves melt the tenseness in his shoulders and hush his broken, choked sobs as he calms. Arms still hugging your waist as you tenderly stroke his hair from his face and ask what’s wrong.

He shows you the letter he found. The letter he left for you before the plague, bringing back all those horrible, sad memories.

He cries a bit more but it’s okay, you’re here to wipe them away.

Nadia

Nadia is back an hour earlier than you expected her to be.

Whisking into the bedchambers without even glancing in your direction and closing the door with a shaky sigh.

Her back is turned to you, her palms splayed against the door and leaning heavily onto the wood. Her breathing seems ragged.

“Everything okay? You’re back early.”

The meeting she was in must have gone quicker than Nadia had expected, but her body language looks all off as she straightens stiffly at the sound of your voice.

Clearly she hadn’t expected you to be here yet either, the sound of your voice usually made her dementor change but instead of a relaxing slouch in her shoulders she seems... tense.

Not even looking your way, she stands stock still at the door. If you didn’t know any better you’d say she was thinking about going right back out that door with our even acknowledging you.

“Nadi?” You stand and walk softly over to Nadia, placing a hand on her shoulder and beckoning her to turn and face you. Her hesitation is noticeable as she gives pause before turning to you gaze.

Her lips are trembling, prompting her to bite down on her bottom lip to quell it as she takes a few deep unsteady breaths, sweeping her eyes upwards so that the tears pooling in the corner of her eyes don’t make it down her face.

But a few are already tracing lines down her face, dripping from her chin, you can tell she’s doing all she can to hold them back.

It’s so rare to see her cry that you are taken aback, whatever could have caused her such upset? Especially something she seems to want to hide from you?

It doesn’t matter right now though.

Sliding your hands into hers you lead Nadia slowly to the chair at the vanity, not saying anything as she sits down on the cushioned seat you kneel before her comfortingly stroking her hands as the tears begin to freely drip down her face.

She cries quieter than most you’ve noticed, for reasons you can only guess but all you can do is comfort her as her head droops down and her hair becomes a curtain hiding her face.

Leaning up you stroke it out of the way and nuzzle against her face, kissing across her cheeks and bridge of her nose. You gently slide the ornaments from her hair and take off the other pieces of jewellery, taking the damp cloth from a bowl of water you dab away the tear-stains and the makeup as her sniffles subside.

When she finally gathers the strength to look in your eyes Nadia’s lips tilt slightly and you lean in to give her a final kiss on the lips, soothing the place where she bit down on her lips.

When you ask her what’s wrong Nadia gives you a small sigh, “I worried too much about what strangers thought of me, when really the only person’s opinion I care for is yours.”

Her words make your chest warm, if you’re being honest it’s a nice that she trusts you above all others.

Julian

Its odd how quiet Julian is that evening.

Seeing as he’s almost always under your feet with his chatter and charm the silence has thrown you through a loop.

You’re just about to ask him what’s going on when you feel his chest press against your back, his hands hugging your arms to your side as he nestles his chin atop your head.

Odd but not entirely un-Julian-like.

That is until you hear a long shaky sigh from him and feel drops of water tickling your scalp, one falls on your nose and then to your lips. The salty tang is not unfamiliar.

“Julian... are you crying?” His arms tighten around you as Julian makes a small sound in the back of his throat, but it rumbles against your skull as he presses his face into your hair.

Despite your concern, the fact that he’s crying into your hair is enough to make you fight gently against the hold he has on you so that you can turn around.

He still hugs you close, but now you can see he is indeed crying. Pale face flushed red around his eyes and tears rolling down his cheeks and off his chin and nose. His eyes are squeezed shut as he buries his face in your hair again, almost as if he wants to escape into it.

You let him hug you awhile longer as his sobs subside and his grip around you loosens more, tugging him to the bed you quickly slide off his boots and lay down with him.

Stroking his face with a gentle trailing finger as he clutches you against him, the flutter of his heart is almost audible as you are sidled up to his chest and his forehead is hot to the touch.

You start to think he’s ill, but that doesn’t seem entirely right.

He just seems... sad.

Julian mumbles a hushed “sorry” against you, hiccupping back as he chokes the word out. You shake your head slowly, it’s not at all his fault.

And you say as much more with your touch than anything else, sliding your hands against his neck and cupping his jaw with them. You run your thumbs lightly over his lip before pecking him on the lips, he smiles slightly so you continue. Kissing away the stray tears on his chin and his nose, brushing your lips over his cheeks and finally planting a longer kiss against his lips.

He uses his whole body to embrace you after that as you ask him what was wrong, although reluctant Julian relents, clearing his throat as a flush of embarrassment rushes to his cheeks.

“I just got a bit stuck in my head m’dear,” usually that means he’s been overthinking, that’s okay you missed hearing his voice.

You both talk for hours that night.

Muriel

You’re well aware of Muriel’s nightmares by now.

So when his thrashing wakes you in the middle of the night you’re on autopilot, kneeling up on the bed and stroking his brow as you shush his panicked breaths.

Anything else and he may accidently club you with his fists, he’s told you as much, but tonight seems particularly bad.

Making a split second decision you decide to wake him, you know you shouldn’t but he looks terrified in his sleep, eyes screwed up, hair messy and chest heaving.

All of a sudden he jolts awake, despite the darkness you can see the shock in the eyes of your mountain man. Leaning over his lap with ragged breathing, fists curled tight in the sheets.

When you gently call his name Muriel jumps slightly turning to you and his usually stoic face is already streaked with tears, wild beautiful eyes zoned in on you as he remembers where he is and who you are.

Muriel lets out a sharp breath, maybe of relief or some other emotion as you sidle up next to him and place your hand on his and lean against his shoulder in solidarity.

You feel a new wave of sobbing shake through his body at this, nevertheless you convince him to lay back down as he softly cries. You’re just about to lie next to him when Muriel pulls you flush against his chest so that you are lying on top of him.

Slowly you card your hand through his hair and out of his face where it is plastered against his wet cheeks, taking in his trembling lips and the crease of his brow you can only lull him quietly back to a state of exhaustion from the late hour and the crying.

When he’s exhausted himself Muriel seems embarrassed but still holds you close, not wanting to let go.

As if it’s the most normal thing in the world you nuzzle your face against his, feeling the wetness of his tears on the stubble of his chin but not really caring as your lips kiss the corner of his eyes. Muriel closes them and leaves them closed as you kiss away the tears on his cheeks and then sooth his trembling lips with your own, long and languid as his breathing slows.

Job done you caress his face with your hand, trailing the scar on his jaw as you ask him about the nightmare and what’s wrong.

He almost shakes his head but thinking better of it Muriel simply says, “I lost you, I don’t want to lose you. I don’t want to be alone again.”

One day you hope his nightmares will plague him no more, but you’ll never let him be alone either way.

Portia

When you come back to the cottage you find Portia on the swing seat under the wisteria.

You can’t blame her, it is a beautiful evening but as you approach you can see her head is buried in her hands even as Pepi tries and fails to get pets by winding in the young woman’s lap.

Portia startles at your footsteps, seeming to quickly swipe away her tears so that you don’t notice, too late for that but you stay silent. Clearly she doesn’t want to talk about it just yet.

Plonking yourself down next to Portia on the swing, it sways under the two of you as you place an arm over Portia’s shoulder and she nestles into your touch with a shaky sigh.

Wrapping your hand in some of her curls you snuggle her back as she cries softly, even from the side you can see the flashing red of her cheeks as they glisten from the tears and the evening sun.

It takes a long while for the tears to subside, long enough that the sun sets and the fireflies dance around the garden in the evening air, plucking a bunch of wisteria from above you tuck it back behind her ear prompting a small teary smile.

Turning to face you, you place a gentle kiss against her cheek, salty tang prompting you to kiss her tears away as she giggles despite the thick feeling in her throat. Smirking you pepper her face with kisses, so many that instead of crying more tears Portia laughs.

Tucking her curls behind her ears you tickle her cheeks as your fingers brush over them, Portia nuzzling into your hands as you do so and placing her hands over yours to press them against her skin.

With a tilted smile and a soft tone you ask her what’s wrong, she gives you a semi-shrug and frowns to herself.

“It’s just a bunch of small things, really, ya’know? Dropping you favourite mug, doing something embarrassing, accidently stepping on Pepi’s little paw....”

You laugh a tiny bit in sympathy, but you know what Portia means. You’ve had a few of those day’s, but sometimes it helps to cry over them.

Lucio

If you didn’t know any better you’d say Lucio was avoiding you.

Its so unlike him that you’ve put off everything that afternoon to search the place for him, but being such a big place like the palace it’s next to impossible to find someone.

Fortunately you know two hunting dogs who will take any bribe to find their master for you, although leading you to a broom closet wasn’t entirely what you expected.

But the sniffling coming form inside is enough prompting for you to open the door and peer down at Lucio sitting on the floor with a blanket over his head, rolling your eyes you enter and sit next to him closing the door as the sniffles pause for a moment.

Tugging the blanket off Lucio’s head your eyes widen, not only at his mussed up hair or the dust from the clearly dirty blanket but at his face where the dust has plastered itself to his damp cheeks and tears have smudged his makeup.

Red faced he tries to tug the blanket back over his head but you remain firm and keep it down cocking your head with a questioning look.

It’s okay for him to cry around you, but he seems adamant to hide from your stare.

Wordlessly you use the sleeve of your shirt to dab at his cheeks wiping away the dust and make up, your kindness only seems to serve more weight on Lucio’s mind as he begins sobbing loudly trying to muffle them with a hand.

But when that does not seem to work you gently tug his chin toward your face and plant a long lingering kiss against his trembling lips, Lucio gulps slightly but returns it all the same.

His cries turn to sniffles once more and as they subside you massage your hands against his shoulders, planting further kisses to his cheekbones and nose and with certain finality you brush your palms over his face and give him an endearing look as you ask him what’s wrong.

“I don’t think... I deserve you.” It seems hard for Lucio to admit, and it definitely rises an eyebrow on your part.

But maybe him believing that is what makes him deserve you.

[shinjaeha]

itsay ep 4 (thoughts + spoilers)

idk even know how to even start this bc i feel like i’m just a big ball of emotions, and this ep was wild. so much happened. last ep was so wonderful and almost languid with how everything played out (esp since it focussed much more specifically on the shift in teh/oh-aew’s relationship). this ep had a bit more of everything, not just the two of them in their bubble anymore. societal forces at play, and hence much more angst. again, this isn’t a  proper analysis, it’s just me ranting and raving as usual as i semi-rewatch this again. this is very long, and there are a lot more things i want to think about in more detail at some point bc i’m mostly just skating over a lot of what happened but i gotta get these thoughts in my head out of me somehow. and i’m not sure if what i’m typing will even make sense bc i MYSELF can barely make sense of what i’m feeling but here i go anyway.

so we start off with the both of them kind of awkward after the night before which is fair enough considering what happened. actually when oh-aew’s habit started playing up again, i thought teh wasn’t going to scratch his back bc he was trying not to ~go there again after the night before, but he did and i was pleasantly surprised like oh...maybe things aren’t that bad?? (YET). also, i can imagine that it would have been reassuring for oh-aew too. like things have changed, but it’s not like teh has completely abandoned him. the touch itself is comforting, like when they were kids.

teh’s mum talking about how she wants both of her sons to bring their girlfriends around (and hounding him about bringing tarn around again) is giving me war flashbacks to my own asian relatives and i can feel the way that must crawl under his skin. I HATE when family members do that (and they always do). but for teh it must be esp hard bc he’s already constantly feeling like he’s vying for his mum’s attention over his brother, and now hoon’s bought back a girlfriend so it’s yet ANOTHER thing he feels like he has to compete with his brother over. in the back of his mind, he knows that he can’t give his mum what she wants if he’s with oh-aew (he can’t ‘win’ over hoon bc heteronormativity). teh is def prone to jealousy fairly easily, but i always feel like his emotions on that base level are also very easy to understand. i’ve been in positions like that before where i’ve felt like i’ve constantly been compared to someone else, and it makes you feel like shit. but also oh-aew having to sit through teh’s mum telling him to let her know if teh and tarn are dating?? ouch.

cue teh trying to avoid what’s going on with them and oh-aew being sad :((( they’re both in so much pain and i feel it and thank god i am no longer a teenager that’s all i can say about this.

the guitar in skyline instrumental is just...making me feel some kind of way. they have so many versions of this song and they always use the right version at the right time how is that.

so the tarn scene!!!!!!!!!!!!!! first thought: holy shit she looks so cute i love her crop top where did she get it i want one. second thought: but why did they make her wear a dark bra under such a light top?? i love that i was thinking this and then it all unravelled in front of me and like...the brilliance. the contrast between the scene in ep 2 (i think?) where teh accidentally peeks at her bra through the buttons of her shirt and gets noticeably flustered, and then this one where she literally wears the same bra under a light shirt ON PURPOSE to get his attention, but he doesn’t even notice?? the way she expects him to colour the hibiscus purple, but he colours it red for oh-aew instead?? it’s so incredibly telling of where his heart is at, and how his feelings have changed. anyway, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that he’s just not all there with her anymore, and tarn isn’t stupid...she’s been picking up on the signals since the beginning (why was he so weirdly obsessed with beating oh-aew at the start? why was he willing to wake up at 4am for oh-aew but not for her? willing to tutor the rest of his friends but not spend time with her?). the way she sees him colouring the hibiscus red and it’s her wake up call, like wtf am i DOING bc of this guy????? i love how she acknowledges that her feelings for teh have made it so she’s solely focussed on him and that she hates the things it makes her do (like wearing the bra to gain his attention). ngl i was slightly worried with how they were going to use her character during these later eps with teh being so conflicted (since girlfriends in BLs are usually handled pretty poorly), but i appreciate that she’s still as fleshed out and full of feeling as she ever was. she’s so sweet, and i just wish she had better than this, but i’m glad she called teh out on it. i know he’s confused af rn, and tbh i don’t think he’s handled this as badly (atm at least) as i thought it could have gone, but at the same time, if he doesn’t decide and set his heart on what he really wants, he’s just going to end up hurting them all. LOVE that she basically tells him to get his shit together first before coming back to her. i like her so much. and that scene of teh just walking around and around at the back feeling conflicted while she drew? really reminds me of the squiggly line timeline(?) of how ep 4 was going to go that nadao released before this ep went live. also cmbyn vibes were real in that one.

the devastation in oh-aew’s voice when he asks teh to at least reply his messages ;;; it’s like teh wants to go back to just being friends and oh-aew has kind of accepted that at this point, but at the same time, teh’s not backing that up. he says he wants to be friends, but he doesn’t know how to act ‘normal’ about it anymore, so he pushes oh-aew away instead. good on oh-aew for not taking that shit and standing up for himself too. i absolutely cannot stand seeing oh-aew sad bc pp’s sad face/voice is so good it actually pains me.

notice how teh ALWAYS uses studies/tutoring as an excuse to get closer to oh-aew again...hmmm...does oh-aew see it for what that is now too? that “you’ve never understood me” hit me like a fucking train. to think that they were so attuned to one another last ep, but now teh’s too caught up in he’s own world to realise just how much he’s hurting oh-aew. thanks, i hate it.

i know that he’s needs to figure himself out more and i absolutely stand by the fact that he needs to do that without messing around with either oh-aew or tarn (and also that he’s using studies again to get into oh-aew’s good books instead of talking through feelings and all that), but the chinese idiom book that he made for oh-aew was actually SO CUTE and romantic. all this stuff he does for oh-aew to show that he clearly cares so much, yet he can never accept it enough to get the words out...

I SWEAR THEY PLAY THE INSTRUMENTAL SKYLINE JUST TO CHOKE ME UP. the darting around each other after the neck kiss COUPLED with the skyline instrumental?? it’s like a sad beach scene 2.0. teh making the first (intimate) move this time. every time he’s trying so hard to convince himself he’s not in love with this boy, and every time he keeps coming back. i always feel such a weird mix of happy and sad when i see them together bc i love them but i know teh in particular, is just not ready yet. like the hug scene made my heart leap, BUT they did it in hiding (under the staircase). all their big intimate scenes are in hiding and that just :(((

teh saying that he loves the seawater on his back bc it holds him up, and oh-aew saying but you have to hold your breath in that posture and it gets uncomfortable so he likes letting it go and just sinking sometimes instead (obv paraphrasing but you get the drift)?? THE WRITING IN THIS. it says so much without telling the audience directly...so poetic. everything about this show is so poetic. the way they sink into the ocean and into that space of oh-aew’s where you can just let yourself go without holding back, and then and only THEN does teh finally kiss oh-aew. and it’s beautiful, after holding back for so long, but it’s also painful bc he’s let go but only within this tiny pocket of space and time. in hiding again. that bird’s eye view shot where you can’t see them at all sealed it for me. like you want to be happy, but you can’t really bc you know that they’ve still got so much more to go...like when teh’s hand grazes oh-aew’s chest and you see oh-aew realise again...like that’s partly what stopped teh the first time in ep 3. when his hands stopped at oh-aew’s chest like it hit in for him that he was a boy. anyway, love that they gave us a skam kiss but i’m also very sad. on another note, how the hell did they hold their breath for that long?????

love that they gave us a further 2 more seconds of teh/oh-aew being cute (CONSTANTLY thinking about teh’s fingers dancing across oh-aew’s face and smushing his face in his hands...oh-aew holding the back of teh’s head...just a brief moment of carefreeness) before they went for the jugular. watching teh fight against himself in this way is what hurts. oh-aew begging him to just let go and accept what they are (the way he keeps going “what did i do wrong?? you feel it too!!”) but he’s so tortured he can’t do it. it’s downright fucking heartbreaking. the “one day i’ll stop feeling this way”...could have just stabbed oh-aew and it would have hurt less. all i know is i’m hurting for the both of them. the repression is real, and it just sucks. this whole thing fucking sucks for both of them (and tarn and bas too at that). idk it just gets me that oh-aew is coming out of this having been rejected once again bc teh isn’t ready yet. and i know this but it doesn’t make me any less upset. not at any of them bc it’s hard i know it’s hard...just at the situation. sometimes it feels like teh’s taking a step forward but then he takes two more back instead. the look on teh’s face when oh-aew was like let’s stop being friends...total devastation. i’m done. don’t want to think about it anymore.

i’m glad that oh-aew’s parents are so supportive of him though. i wasn’t sure how close they were based on their previous interaction but they really love him and i’m glad he has that stability to help him through this.

THE SCENE WITH OH-AEW AND THE BRA FUCKING BLEW ME AWAY. this show is always keeping me guessing, and again yet another thing that i wasn’t expecting but it was so visceral. the red of the bra in comparison to tarn’s bra with the purple hibiscus flowers on it...everything connects. oh-aew looking into the mirror with that bra on and thinking about how things would have been different if only :((( and then his breakdown when he realises that it’s not and that’s the reality of the situation. the feeling that gave me sits so deep within my chest i can’t even begin to carve it out.

teh masturbating when he sees that picture of oh-aew and to that picture of yongjian on his wall (idk why it only now just occurred to me that yongjian is always in red too)?? the self-hatred in this scene. the internalised homophobia. my heart feels so heavy.

he KEEPS reaching and it’s going nowhere bc it won’t ever be enough, and that’s not fair on himself and it’s not fair on tarn. like i understand what he’s going through, and i get that he’s extremely confused and needs the clarification, but when he asks tarn to tell her she loves him and he can’t do the same back for her...i just feel so, so, so fucking bad for tarn.

oh-aew hoping that the worksheets left for him were from teh (which would be very on brand of him), but then seeing bas :( maybe in another world, in another life (like teh and tarn)...but he’s such a sweetheart. bas, best boy ;;;

legit as soon as the gang came to see teh off to bangkok and talk to him about how oh-aew was doing terribly (and wasn’t planning on going to the admission exams) i knew where this was going to go. there’s been so much foreshadowing leading up to this, and this was also one of (if not my main theory) with how things were going to eventually play out. but tbh for some reason i thought it was going to play out later in ep 5...but like damn. damn. the way i understand but at the same time i kept going OH TEH :( throughout this. the utter STRESS this bit put me through. THE MISCOMMUNICATION.

anyway, teh’s love language is clearly acts of service. but it can really be to his detriment when he does things impulsively (albeit with care and good intentions), but he doesn’t use his words so things get lost in translation. sometimes actions just aren’t enough and you really do need words to communicate.

the confirmation scene was so tense...even now i’m just sitting here thinking about it and there’s a hole in my stomach at the thought of what teh must be going through and what he ends up doing. like when that last person on the list shows up and you KNOW it’s going to happen but at the same time it’s like a punch to the chest bc there’s just no doubt that teh’s going to turn it down for oh-aew...OF COURSE he would. oh-aew’s split moment of happiness before realising what teh’s done...the absolute dread i still have in me at the realisation of this.

the tension really kept increasing from here on in...teh coming home and his mum just being so fucking proud of him and telling everyone in the restaurant about how happy she is for him (all while teh is absolutely depleted), then tarn coming in and everything bubbling over when she realises what teh’s done too. realises that teh’s in love with oh-aew (smile is so great in this btw like WOW). the “you hurt me and i’m alright with that, teh, but right now you’re hurting yourself” broke my heart. absolutely love tarn as a character and only ever want the best for her.

when he tells his mum :((((((((((( and his mum just goes on about how hard he’s worked and how much he’s already sacrificed only for him to throw that away. he wanted her to be proud of him SO BAD, wanted to not be compared to his brother for once, only for him to give away his place bc he loves oh-aew more than he wants his mother’s praise. more than he wants to compete and ‘win’ against his brother. when she points to hoon and goes “why can’t you be more like him?” and he just loses it. like rubbing salt in the wound. i’m so glad hoon finally hugged him the way i’ve been wanting to this whole time. the banner congratulating him that teh’s mum made with all his materials from before :((( hoon giving him money for uni :((( you ever watch some things and feel like you’ll never be happy again...

okay the way that everything spiralled during the ig story fight?????? what gets me is that teh sacrificed his place thinking that oh-aew wasn’t going to sit the exam at all (he could have just talked to him and convinced him instead but ughhh i understand i get it). oh-aew thinks he did it bc teh didn’t believe he could get in himself (which of course then spurs him to give it up so he can get in through the exam instead). and when teh sees that, it’s like a smack in the face, like he went through all that only for oh-aew to reject it (him). it’s just layers upon layers of miscommunication and the anxiety of it all absolutely guts me. and then the anger mixing into devastation when he opens his book and sees how it’s all cut up. the remnants a reminder of everything he’s done for oh-aew. this boy that he adores but can’t accept he has feelings for. it’s just this mix of anger and sorrow and what have i fucking done?????? and how could he????? the cast were all fantastic but billkin really had to go above and beyond in this one and i could absolutely feel his pain throughout this.

TO PIGGY BACK ON THIS, like i said before, teh has always used studying/tutoring as a tool to get closer to oh-aew, but seeing that book with all the words gone was in part also him realising he doesn’t have that anymore. he can’t use that tool to get close to oh-aew anymore. the only way forward would be to actually get close to oh-aew without the pretences. and the saddest part of this all is that oh-aew doesn’t even NEED all of that (the tutoring, the book of idioms, the relinquishing of his uni spot)...the only thing he wants is for teh to ADMIT his feelings out loud. to admit that he feels the same way about oh-aew that oh-aew feels about him.

it’s funny bc in the last ep, the conversation that had me feeling the most nervous was when they’re talking at the cape, and oh-aew’s telling teh that he’s a rival and inspiration to him. i always KNEW this was going to come back to haunt them. like a constant circle. friends to rivals to friends to more than friends(?) to rivals. it’s a fine line. narratively, it always had to happen, and now they’re back to competing against one another yet again, and it’s going to be so tough bc they’ll have so much more competition on top of that as well.

next ep is going to be very, very hard on teh, but somehow after this ep, i just feel a lot more hopeful about it? i’m pretty convinced at this point that it won’t end in tragedy (which was the thing that i wanted least of all). of course i want both teh and oh-aew to end up together, but i can understand if they don’t. if this ends with them rekindling their friendship again, that’ll be enough for me. their relationship has been so turbulent and passionate that it needs some stability, and hopefully when teh’s in a better state of mind, when he’s at a place when he’s finally accepted all parts of himself, they’ll get there. so if that means it ends on them running to the cape together (even if they’re not technically together) fulfilling their promise to one another in the sunset, then that’s fine with me. i don’t mind an open ending if it makes sense in the context of the story, and i think something like that would. it’s like after such an angsty episode, you need a slight reprieve from it. i have no doubt in my mind that ep 5 will contain darkness, but i do think that there will be light at the end of the tunnel. so for once i feel truly hopeful about it.

i can’t believe we only have one more ep left to go...