#Hazel; i care for nothing
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that-sarcastic-writer · 8 months ago
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Too Sweet
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Logan Howlett X F!Reader
Summary: you tell Logan not to hold back anymore. And who is he to deny his sweet girlfriend anything? This is just porn without plot
Wrote this with Xmen/X2 Logan in mind but you may picture whichever Logan suits your needs
Warnings: explicit sexual content, minors dni, piv, unprotected sex (wrap it before you tap it my children), oral (f receiving), fingering, soft rough sex, Logan talks you through it, creampie, choking, the claws make an appearance (duh), Logan is obsessed with his girl, established relationship
WC: 3.2K
A/N: SOMETHING SHORT SHE SAID. I need to be put down. I am feral over this man. Seeing DP&W got me acting tf up. It put me back into my Logan obsession so I rewatched all of his movies. And now I need him. So here you go. Might write more with him soon. For now is this.
Follow my reading blog to stay updated with my works if you’d like to see more @midnightreadinglibrary
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You were sweet. You were, oh, so sweet. Such a pretty sweet thing. You were so going to be the death of him. Playing with the strings of his sanity, of his composure. Worst of all, you were doing nothing at all to make him go insane. Other than love and care for him that was.
He tried, he really did, he tried to keep himself under control when he was with you, and he was doing a pretty good job of it so far. But god, today, today you were going to make him loose his fucking mind. He had decided to visit you, unannounced he stopped by your apartment. And what did he find? You, in the kitchen, in nothing but a red flannel, his red flannel. Speechless, he was. 
Logan stood in silence, blinking slowly as his eyes took in every part of you with growing intensity. Your legs were bare, your ass barely covered by the length of his shirt and you seemed rather happy like this. Is this what you did when he wasn’t around? And why did the sight of you suddenly wake deep within him an overwhelming need to ruin you? 
Almost as if the intensity of his presence got your absentminded attention, you turned your head to find him standing in the entryway with an unreadable expression. And though a little bit flustered by his unannounced visit, you welcomed him with a soft smile.
“Hi Logan.” You greeted him with glee, all but skipping over to him to greet him properly, of course. You were standing on the ends of your toes and throwing your arms over his broad shoulders while he just stood in ominous silence, only a deep exhale leaving his lips. “Are you okay baby?”
“Yeah.” His voice strained with restraint as he fought the deep urge to throw you over the nearest flat surface. Instead he simply placed his hands on your hips, squeezing unevenly as he gave you an eyebrow raise. “New shirt?”
“Oh,” Your lips fell open in a bit of embarrassment and you laughed softly, flustered as you looked down at the shirt that was clearly not yours. It kind of smelled like him still. “Yeah so, my washer broke, I don’t know what happened to it, and I couldn’t find anything comfortable so… Does it bother you?”
Did it bother him? The only thing that was bothering him was his already hard cock straining against his jeans. 
“A pretty girl in my clothes? I would be fucking stupid.” 
The way his words left his mouth made you laugh. But the look in those hazel eyes was anything but humorous. Animalistic and full of need. Your lips curled up into a smile as he leaned down to crash his lips against yours. Messily and intensely his lips moved against yours as his hands squeezed and touched everywhere he could, as if he didn’t know which part of you he craved to feel more. 
“You’d look prettier on your back though.” He muttered against your mouth, lightly nipping at your bottom lip. You were more than happy to comply.
A string of giggles left your lips as his lips tickled over your stomach. You laid flat on the soft covers as Logan settled between the warmth of your thighs. He pried your legs open, fingers digging into your skin as his sharp canines lightly nipped at the plush flesh on your inner thigh. You gasped, though overwhelmed with excitement.
“Logan.” You scolded him, knowing you would have a mark there, but the sound of your voice turned into a delicious whine when he pressed his nose into your panties, inhaling that oh so intoxicating scent of yours. 
An almost animalistic growl rumbled in his chest, “I’ve been thinkin’ about this sweet pussy all day.” He pressed a hard kiss to your hole, the bridge of his nose bumping your clothed clit. The sudden pressure had you gasping for air, your chest pounding with anticipation.
Your panties were off your body and thrown over his shoulder in a split second, his lips latching on to your clit with reckless urgency. One would think this man hadn’t seen you in weeks, when he had seen, and taken you only two nights ago. Alas, that was one the things you loved the most about Logan, his unending need to touch you, to feel you, to be all over you. You thought he would get tired eventually, but his drive was almost animalistic. He never had enough, though he often held back for your sake. 
His tongue lapped at your pussy with abandon. From your hole to your clit, circling and sucking before diving back into your walls. Squirming, you were chasing his mouth with your hips, body overcome with pleasure as he worked your walls. It annoyed him at times, the way your hips moved and lifted off the mattress with sensitivity as he fucked you with his tongue, when his nose brushed against your clit. With a frustrated grunt, he grabbed a hold of your thighs and pressed your knees against your stomach, holding you down and spreading you open for him to do as he pleased. 
“You squirm too fucking much.” He huffed, but there was a slight bit of amusement laced in his tongue.
Your response came in the form of a whimper, a pathetic sound that only grew louder when two thick fingers replaced his tongue inside your wet hole. He looked up at you with pure primal need as his fingers worked your tight walls, crooking against that one spot that had you crying.
“Please, please Logan.” You didn’t know what you were pleading for. Mercy? Sweet release? To be ruined? You didn’t know. 
Logan raised an amused eyebrow at you, wet lips curled up into a tiny smirk as he moved his tongue back to your clit. He licked and sucked to match each delicious drag of his fingers. The sounds leaving him were just as filthy as the things he was doing to you, groaning and grunting into your pussy as he ate you like a starving man. 
It was no surprise that he had you shaking and crying, overcome with pleasure, eyes blurry with tears, your release rapidly approaching. You latched on to his hair, tugging and pulling at the strands as your pathetic sounds filled the room. 
“That feels so—ugh—feels so good—please.” Were you making any sense? No. Did he care? Fuck no. Seeing you so desperate, so consumed with pleasure, a complete and utter mess for him, it snapped something in him. Deep inside the most perveted and secluded corner of his mind, he liked it. And though he shouldn’t, he wanted more. 
Your release was hard and sudden, your loud sounds were almost as overwhelming as the feeling of his tongue still lapping at your sensitive clit. You were writhing on the mattress, nearly crying as you had no option but to take it, it wasn’t like you could run away, not with the way his free held you down, one hand of his was stronger than all of you combined. All you could do was sob and pull at his hair as he dragged out your orgasm. 
“L-Logan.” You pleaded weakly, throat dry as you pushed yourself up on your elbows, chest glistening with a layer of sweet, lightly clinging to the fabric of Logan’s shirt. All you could see was his dark hair before his eyes met yours. The look behind his eyes was indescribable but it had you clenching you around nothing when his fingers left you. 
Your thighs twitched in aftershock when his mouth left you. You felt him press his forehead against your thighs, his hardened breath fanning against your hot skin for a long second. He needed a second to calm down, keep himself under control, he couldn’t let his primal instincts get the best of him.
You ran your fingers along his face, threading through the hair along his cheek and you silently ushered him up. He complied, in an instant settling between your open legs to find your mouth again. You could taste yourself on his lips, on his tongue, it was all so much for your clouded mind. His fingers were on your hair as his mouth took yours with growing urgency. You could feel him through the roughness of his jeans, brushing against your clit in ways that made you dizzy. You needed him, and you needed him bad. You reached down, trembling fingers fumbling with his belt, but before you could undress him he was pulling back, rough fingers holding your wrist.
“Hold on, just hold on a minute.” He was breathing hard, chest pounding as he looked at your confused face. 
“Wait, why? What's wrong?” God, you were too sweet, too kind for him, he couldn’t do it. 
“I just… Shit.” He closed his eyes, jaw set as tried to control his clouded mind, but he could only do so much to restrain all of the filthy things he craved to do to you. The way you were looking up at him, eyes big with concern, gentle hands holding his face, preventing him from going anywhere. “I think we should stop. I should stop.”
“Oh… I mean.. We can stop whenever but.. Why? Did I do something wrong?” You were sitting up, and the sadness and disappointment in your pretty eyes made him curse at himself.
“No. No. Fuck, no. I’m the problem. I don’t think I can hold myself back anymore.” He finally admitted it, words leaving his chest with heaviness. Your face remained the same, confused.
“Well, why would you? I never asked you to.” It finally dawned on you what he meant, and you were unbothered, if anything the look on your face was of eagerness. With malice, you threw your legs around his waist, pulling him closer. “I don’t want you to hold back with me.”
“Sweetheart..” He was warning you, voice rumbling in his chest as he closed his eyes, one last attempt to keep his composure before it was inevitably too late.
“I won’t break Logan. I trust you. And I want it.” Your last words came out with sharpness, a grueling intensity that had him groaning under his breath. You pressed a kiss to his jaw, almost as if to emphasize your point. And it was like a switch flipped in his head. 
With an uneven breath he was sitting up on his knees, white undershirt thrown to be forgotten somewhere in your room. And you were happily delighted as you watched him toss his belt aside and undo his jeans. He pulled his cock out of his pants with a strained groan and you were holding your breath in anticipation, legs open and welcoming him. His eyes were dark with pure raw desire as he settled between your legs, cock hard and heavy as he kicked the rest of his clothes off like it had insulted him.
“Don’t fucking hold back.” You snapped at him as he held himself up on his forearm, his other hand holding himself against your entrance. Your words shot straight to his cock and his lips curled up into a grin.
“Hold on, pretty.” He rumbled, chest heavy as he sank himself into your wet cunt in one single thrust.
Your lips fell open, eyes instantly rolling at the delicious feeling of his thick and heavy cock splitting you open. It was an intoxicating feeling you couldn’t get enough of; you were fucking sure he had ruined every other man for you. Not that it bothered you. 
The pace he set was grueling from the start, one hand braced on your pillow beside your head and the other on your thigh, rough fingers feeling up and down the skin as he drove his cock in and out of your walls. Sounds of pleasure left your lips almost immediately as the sting of his cock had you dragging your nails up and down his back, leaving red angry marks that healed in a split second. He absolutely adored the burning sensation your nails left on his skin, over and over. 
It was brutal, the way his hips drove you into the mattress as he fucked the life out of you. You did ask him to, you realized that perhaps your lack of restraint when it came to him would indeed be the end of you today, but at least you’d die happy by his cock. His forehead touched yours, eyes on your chest as he forced the buttons of his shirt open. His hand immediately cupped your breast, squeezing and he forced your body up and down on the mattress with each relentless snap of his hips. You cried out, head thrown back as your cunt squeezed his cock, unable to do much other than take everything he had to give you. His hand traveled up your chest to your exposed neck, fingers sprawled over your throat but not putting pressure. 
“Yes. Please, yes, do it.” Delirious, cock-drunk, fucked out, you might have been all of those things, but you were perfectly aware of him surrounding you, caging you in, consuming you. And you wanted all of it.
“Fuck, pretty.” His lips brushed yours as his fingers lightly squeezed your throat. He could feel the air leaving your tightening throat, and the way you squeezed his cock in response had him creasing his eyebrows with pleasure. “This what you wanted? You just wanted it rough, huh?”
You were nodding your head, breathless as blood rushed to your face, the lack of blood flow making you all the more delirious. Absolutely lost, so deep within your pleasure that your brain wasn’t working anymore. All that was consuming your mind was Logan, his scent, his sounds, the tip of his cock brushing that spot that had you squirming. You didn’t even realize tears were coating your cheeks, so lost that your moans had turned into cries. 
“Shh, it’s okay, you’re okay.” The hand on your neck moved to swipe away your tears as he leaned down to kiss your cheek in an attempt to bring you back to reality, the gentle gesture a juxtaposition to the ruthless drag of his cock. “There’s not a single thought in that pretty head of yours, huh?”
He adjusted himself above you, his chest pressed against yours, thick hairs tickling your skin with each deep stroke. There was a bit of smugness on his pleasured expressions, seeing you so utterly out of it, his cock being the reason. Seeing such a sweet little thing coming completely undone by his hand gave him a sense of satisfaction that made his cock twitch. 
He held your face, watching the way your eyes rolled back with pleasure, the crease in your eyebrows and your soft lips parted as filthy sounds left you. It was the prettiest of things.
“It just feels so good, huh? Can’t even talk.” he huffed a laugh, his nose brushing against yours as his free hand found your swollen clit and you were gasping as your thighs shuddered, sweet release building. “Talk to me, pretty girl. Tell me how good it feels. ‘Cause this sure feels so fucking good to me.” 
“Mhmm!” It took your brain a long minute to register his words, it was damn near impossible to focus on anything when his cock was making you feel so good, when you could feel your release so close. “Feels so good—Please, need it. Logan please.”
Who was he to ever deny his sweet girl anything? 
Logan moved his free hand to one of your thighs, holding it and bending it so that one of your knees was damn near next to your head. He drilled into you, fucking you into the matress and rubbing harsh circles on your swollen clit until you were nothing but a shaking, sobbing mess, filled with the neverending bliss of your release. 
“That’s it, atta girl.” He pressed his lips to your bruised lips, swallowing the pathetic sounds of your orgasm as he continued to chase his own. Your release seeped through his cock as his hand left your clit. He braced himself on the pillow beside your head he continued to fuck you into his release. “You’re doing so well sweetheart, take it just like that.”
Tears pricked at your eyes as you sobbed, the hairs at the base of his cock grazing your clit as he abused your hole. Desperate hands latched on to his hair as you held him, simply taking everything he had to give you. He was close, so incredibly close, composure completely gone from his body as he chased his release with selfish abandon. He dropped his face into your neck, sharp canines nipping at the soft skin, surely to leave a mark or two.
“Please Logan. Come in me. Please, I need it—” Though broken, in between pathetic whimpers you pleaded to him. And if he had any self-restraint left it was fucking gone.
The sound that rumbled in Logan’s chest was purely animalistic, a feral growl and the sound of metallic sharp claws rang in your ears next to your head. You gasped in pleasant surprise, moaning at the thought of him losing control like this. It should concern him, it should. But he couldn’t give one fuck. He coated your insides with his release, eyes closed and eyebrows creased into this twisted expression of rapture. With a couple final thrusts he pumped you full of himself until you were leaking around his cock. Only then did he still his pistoning hips. 
“Fuck.” You heard him grunt in your ear, followed by the sound of his claws sheathing back into his knuckles. Your eyes widened with aftershock and your wash chest was heavy as you panted. 
Logan lifted his head from your neck to look at you, heavy breaths leaving his chest as he tried to bring himself back to reality.
“I… I didn’t mean to..” He trailed off, though slightly apologetic as he caught a glimpse of the three punctured holes on your pillow, he did not regret it one bit. You were quickly shaking your head at him, a tired smile on your face.
“Don’t be. That was like, so hot.” You bit your lip, throwing your arms over his broad shoulders as you pulled him into a kiss. He hummed, hand beside your head as he brushed your hair out of your face. “You owe me some new pillows though.”
“Yeah? Might owe you more than that then.” A smug smirk replaced his concern as he rolled his hips, making you aware of his still hard cock, hot and heavy in your walls. You gasped, wide eyes meeting his own. “What? You thought I was done with you?” 
With a hold of your arm he flipped you on your stomach, the sudden movement making you whimper. But the thought of him taking you over and over sure had you eager in anticipation. Though as his cock sunk into your cunt once more you were beginning to wonder just how much your curiosity was going to cost you. Surely a whole day in bed tomorrow would be in order. He was so going to be the death of you. Little did you know, you were already going to be his.
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surielstea · 1 month ago
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A Lesson in Lust
Inspired by a request!
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Pairing: Azriel x Fem!Reader
Summary: When Reader fakes an orgasm Azriel has no choice but to teach her not to lie to him, but not with words.
Warnings: smut | 18+ | pwp | dom!Az / Brat!Reader | Brat tamer/taming | cunnilingus | slight impact | slight breathplay | creampie | p in v | overstim | controlled orgasm | clit sucking | slut shaming | slight dollification | there’s so many ts freaky
Word count: 6.5k
A.Note: Please read the warnings!!! This is nasty, literally all smut, mdni.
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I should have known better.
Should have known that Azriel, with all his centuries of honed observation and razor-sharp instincts—his ability to read people down to the slightest flicker of emotion—would notice.
I thought I had hidden it well, that he had been too lost in his own pleasure to realize I hadn't unraveled beneath him the way I usually did. That the tremor in my voice, the sharp edge of my cries, hadn't quite matched the ones before. I told myself he wouldn't catch the fleeting moment where my body had tensed but never truly shattered, where my release had been nothing more than an illusion painted for his sake.
I don't even know why I did it. Azriel had always been so attuned to me, so devoted to my pleasure. Maybe it was the exhaustion weighing down my limbs, the ache of an endlessly long day pressing against my bones. Maybe it was the way he had looked at me tonight—so desperate to bring me over the edge with him. I hadn't wanted to bruise his pride.
But he knows.
He doesn't say anything. Not as he cleans me up with steady, reverent hands, the warm cloth dragging over my skin with the same care he always gives me. Not as he helps me into my nightgown, his touch lingering a little longer than necessary. But I feel it. Feel it in the way his hazel eyes darken, their golden flecks burning as they study me in that quiet, unreadable way.
Still, he says nothing. Not when he turns off the bedside lamp, plunging the room into a cocoon of darkness. Not when I turn to him, pressing a soft kiss against his lips in an attempt to quell the unspoken weight between us.
He kisses me back, slow and deep, but his shadows betray him. They curl tighter around his frame, restless like they are whispering secrets meant only for him—secrets I cannot decipher.
He doesn't say anything for a long while. Holds onto the knowledge, lets it simmer beneath his quiet exterior, tucked away where I almost believe it will stay.
For a moment, I think I've gotten away with it.
But when morning comes, the silence finally fractures.
"Why did you fake it?"
The question lands like a stone in my chest, sending my heart into a frantic rhythm. His voice is steady—too steady. Like he's been awake all night just waiting to ask.
I blink at him tiredly, feigning confusion. "What?"
Azriel doesn't waver. "You didn't come. Why'd you fake it?"
Blunt. Direct. The weight of his stare alone is enough to pin me in place. He's clearly been sitting with this, turning it over in his mind, dissecting it in that way only he can. And now, he wants answers.
"I—I didn't—"
He tilts his head slowly, and my breath catches. Not a word passes his lips, but the movement alone is enough of a warning.
"Try again, love." His shadows swirl around us despite the morning light filtering through the curtains.
I stay silent.
Azriel exhales, his grip on my waist flexing. "I've been up all night trying to figure out why you'd feel the need to fake something like that. Especially with me." His voice is soft, but it cuts through me all the same. "And I can't. So tell me—why?"
"I didn't want you to feel bad," I murmur, barely above a whisper. "You treat me so well, all the time. I didn't want you getting hung up on this one night."
But here we were—doing exactly that.
His jaw tightens, tension carving sharp lines into his face. The early morning light filters through the curtains, soft and golden, but there is nothing soft about the way he's looking at me. Still, his hands find mine, fingers intertwining. The roughness of his scars against my skin is familiar. Comforting.
"Do you think so little of me?" The words are quiet, but no less devastating.
"No." I snap my gaze to his, panic flickering in my chest. "No, never, Az."
His thumb skims over my knuckles before he brings my hand to his lips, pressing a kiss there. "Then why lie?" he asks, the warmth of his breath lingering. "Do you not trust me to take care of you? Do you not want me to?"
His voice dips lower, and my stomach clenches. He truly had to be thinking about this all night to draw up these conclusions.
"I do," I rush to reassure him. "Of course I do. I was just—I was tired, that's all." I lean closer, brushing my lips against his in a gentle kiss.
He doesn't pull away. Doesn't let go of my waist. But when he tilts his head, the look in his eyes shifts into something sharper. Something hungry.
"You tired now?"
His mouth finds mine again, deeper this time. Slow, deliberate, teasing.
I exhale softly. "No."
Azriel mirrors my smile, but there's something different about his. Something sharper. More feral.
"Good."
And before I can react, he's got me beneath him, arms pinned above my head, a wicked gleam in his hazel eyes.
A gasp catches in my throat as Azriel moves, fast and fluid, flipping me beneath him before I can so much as blink. My wrists are pinned above my head, his scarred fingers wrapped firmly around them, the weight of his body pressing me into the mattress.
His wings flare slightly, blocking out the golden slant of morning light, leaving nothing but the two of us in the shadows. His shadows.
They curl around his frame like living threads of darkness, writhing in time with his slow, deliberate breaths. The way he looks at me now—hazel eyes molten, jaw tight, lips slightly parted—sends a shiver down my spine.
"You really thought I wouldn't notice, didn't you?" His voice is low, rough, but not angry. No, the way he says it—the way he watches me squirm beneath him—is something else entirely.
I swallow hard. "Azriel, I—"
"You were exhausted." He hums as if considering my excuse. "Didn't want to hurt my feelings." A soft scoff leaves him, his nose brushing the shell of my ear. "What a sweet little lie."
I shudder, my fingers flexing uselessly beneath his grip. "It wasn't—I just—"
"Didn't think I could handle the truth?" He trails a hand down my side, fingers whispering over the thin fabric of my nightgown, tracing every dip, every curve. "Or did you think I wouldn't take care of you properly?"
I shake my head quickly, but he catches my chin between his fingers, forcing me to look at him.
"You know I don't like being lied to, love," he murmurs, voice silken and dark. "Especially not about this, you forgot though."
His thumb drags over my bottom lip, and my breath hitches. He watches me, eyes burning, gaze sharp enough to cut.
"Let's fix that, yeah?"
His grip on my wrists tightens just as his free hand moves lower, skimming over my stomach, my thighs—slow, teasing, deliberate.
"You're going to be honest with me from now on." A soft kiss, barely there, pressed to my throat. "You're going to let me take care of you the way I always do." Another kiss, lower this time, lingering over my pulse.
"And you, love," he whispers, teeth grazing against my skin, "are going to learn exactly what happens when you try to keep something like that from me."
His shadows coil around my ankles, holding me in place, and then—
I lose the ability to think.
"Az," I breathe, my body arching instinctively beneath him, trying to chase the warmth of his touch. But he holds me still, his fingers barely skimming where I need him most, his shadows curling tighter around my wrists and ankles like they, too, are in on his cruel game.
Azriel hums, amused. "You sound a little desperate, love."
I glare at him, but it's hard to make it convincing when I'm squirming beneath him, my pulse racing, my breath coming too fast. "You're being cruel."
His lips curl at the accusation. "Am I?" His fingers dance along the edge of my nightgown, slipping just beneath it before retreating just as quickly, his touch featherlight. "Seems to me I'm just teaching a valuable lesson."
"You're insufferable."
Azriel chuckles, the sound low and sinful, sending a ripple of heat through me. "You weren't saying that last night."
Heat floods my face. "Maybe because last night, you weren't tormenting me."
His brows lift, feigning innocence. "And yet you didn't come. Seems to me you like the tormenting." He dips his head, kissing a slow, searing path along my collarbone. "But if you'd prefer, I could stop."
A smirk plays at his lips as he starts to pull away as if testing to see just how desperate I really am.
I scowl, tightening my legs around his waist, locking him in place. "Don't you dare."
His laughter is warm against my skin, and the next thing I know, his fingers are on my thighs, tracing slow, torturous circles. "That's more like it," he murmurs approvingly. "Now, tell me, love—" his lips ghost over the shell of my ear, his voice nothing but a delicious rasp, "—you going to fake it again?"
My brows furrow as I peer up at him through my lashes.
"No," Azriel grins, wicked and knowing. "I'm not going to stop until you're too wrecked to even think about faking it again."
A sharp inhale. A rush of heat.
His hands tighten, and his voice drops to a whisper, his words dripping with sinful promise.
His fingers move with calculated precision, unbuttoning my top one slow pop at a time. I help him shed it, my own hands sliding beneath his shirt, mapping the warm, golden skin stretched over taut muscle. The ink of his tattoos shifts under my touch as he pulls the fabric over his head and tosses it aside.
I lean in, capturing his lips, but he meets me halfway, claiming my mouth with a hunger that steals my breath. His tongue sweeps past my lips, exploring greedily, and I moan softly into him.
Then, suddenly, my wrists are pinned to the mattress, bound by the whisper-soft strength of his shadows. A gasp catches in my throat, my body instinctively tugging, but it's futile. Azriel merely smirks, his fingers skating down my sides, toying with the band of my panties, the heat of his touch sending sparks across my skin.
I lift my hips in a silent plea, urging him on, but he only chuckles, slow and deep. "Patience, love," he chastises, his fingers hooking beneath the fabric.
"Please," I whisper, desperate.
Azriel hums in approval but moves achingly slow, peeling the lace from my body like he has all the time in the world. His knuckles brush against my thighs as he drags them down, leaving a trail of goosebumps in his wake.
"I want you to feel everything," he murmurs, lips ghosting over my collarbone, where a faint mark from last night still lingers. A reminder. A promise.
"Az," I whine, shifting against the restraints, needing more, needing him.
He tsks, dark amusement glittering in his hazel eyes. "I know, I know," he coos, dragging his mouth along my skin, teasing me with every slow, lingering kiss. "But you can be patient can't you?"
I nod, breathless, eyes locked onto his as he trails lower.
"Good," he praises, but his voice dips into something more commanding. "And you understand I can't reward your bratty behavior?"
"Yes," I whisper.
His brows arch. "Yes, what?"
"Yes, sir."
Azriel's smirk is wicked, his satisfaction rolling off him in waves. "There's my girl," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to my stomach before lowering himself further between my thighs. "Now stay still for me, yeah?"
I nod, back arching as I ready myself.
His breath is warm against my skin, teasing, taunting, and when his lips ghost over where I need him most, a helpless whimper spills from my lips. I tip my head back into the pillows, unable to watch, unable to handle the way he's taking his time, savoring the way I fall apart beneath him before he's even truly touched me.
"Sweet girl," he murmurs, his voice dripping with dark amusement. "So needy. Just couldn't get off, could you?"
I shake my head pitifully. "No," I manage, my voice barely above a breath.
He clicks his tongue, pressing a featherlight kiss to my inner thigh. "It's okay, love," he murmurs, and then his grip tightens on my hips, holding me still as he finally, finally drags his tongue through my slick folds.
A choked moan tumbles from my lips, my back arching further off the bed, but his shadows keep me grounded. He hums in approval against me, the vibration sending a fresh wave of heat coiling low in my stomach.
"Azriel," I moan, writhing, tugging uselessly at the darkness binding my wrists. "Please."
He smirks against me but doesn't answer, just hikes one of my legs over his shoulder, deepening his assault. His tongue flicks over my clit with precision, his mouth sealing around the sensitive bundle of nerves, sucking just hard enough to have me keening.
I can't move. Can't grind against him, can't chase the pleasure building inside me—because he's making sure that my release comes entirely from him.
That realization has me spiraling even faster.
"Az—Azriel, please," I gasp, my thighs trembling as the coil tightens, winding impossibly tight.
His grip on my hips bruises, his scarred fingers pressing into my skin as his tongue circles my clit again and again.
"Go ahead, love," he rasps against me, his voice thick with satisfaction. The vibrations of his words against my swollen, aching cunt are all it takes to send me over the edge.
I shatter, a sharp cry tearing from my throat as my orgasm crashes through me, my body locking up before melting into the mattress. My vision whites out, pleasure consuming me in wave after relentless wave.
Azriel doesn't stop. Doesn't let up. He guides me through it, slow and deliberate, savoring every aftershock.
"There it is," he murmurs, his lips pressing a final, lingering kiss to my sensitive folds before glancing up at me, utterly wrecked beneath him. "My girl looks so pretty when she comes."
The flat of his tongue gathers my arousal on his tongue, cleaning me. A soft, broken whimper is the only response I can manage.
But Azriel isn't done. Not yet. Not until I've learned my lesson.
I panted softly, still trembling as he kissed his way back up my body, his mouth hot and unrelenting against my flushed skin. Every inch of me is still humming from the waves of pleasure he's wrung out of me.
His lips trail over my breasts, pressing a kiss to one before he takes the stiff peak into his mouth, his tongue swirling in slow, torturous circles. The same tongue that had just shattered me now teases and soothes in equal measure, and I bow into his touch, a soft gasp spilling from my lips.
"Azriel," I rasp, tugging against my dark restraints.
His shadows hold firm, but he lifts his gaze to me through his lashes, those hazel eyes molten with desire. My breath catches, and I swear I feel the heat of his stare everywhere. His tongue flicks against my nipple, sharp and purposeful, and my thighs instinctively fall back open for him.
He smirks, releasing my breast with a wet pop before kissing his way up, up, until he finds my lips. He swallows my soft whimper as his tongue slides past my lips, letting me taste myself on him. The intimacy of it makes my head spin, and I kiss him back greedily, nipping at his lower lip when he pulls away.
His breath is warm against my mouth as he murmurs, "Inside?"
"Yes," I breathe, my voice barely more than a whisper. "I need you inside me."
His lips quirk up in a lazy, knowing smile. "Yeah? You need it?"
"Please," I whimper, my desperation laid bare.
Azriel hums, kissing me again, slow and deep, before pulling away. The sound of his belt unbuckling, the rustle of fabric as he shoves his pants down—it sends a thrilling pulse of anticipation through me.
I was so attuned to him, his sounds, the feel of him. The heat of him between my thighs, the way he strokes himself once, twice, teasing me with the promise of what's to come.
Then he's there, pressing the thick head of his cock against my slick entrance, and I nearly sob with need.
"Look at you," he murmurs, his voice dark with satisfaction as he teases me, sliding just the tip inside before pulling back. "So wet, so ready—"
"Az," I whine, my hips tilting, seeking him.
His hand presses down on my stomach, holding me still. "You take what I give you, love. Nothing more."
I moan at his words, at the sheer dominance in his tone, and then he pushes in, stretching me inch by inch until he's seated fully inside me. He takes his time, driving me wild in the process, each slow thrust pulling a desperate sound from my lips. My walls flutter around him, trying to draw him deeper, but he holds himself back, teasing, torturing.
By the time he finally sinks to the hilt, I'm panting, trembling beneath him, my body molded perfectly to his.
A low groan rumbles through his chest, his head dropping to the crook of my neck as he rolls his hips once, dragging a sharp gasp from me. "Fuck," he breathes, his voice wrecked. "So tight. Always so fucking perfect for me."
I whimper, my body adjusting to the delicious burn of being so completely filled, stretched to the limit around him.
Azriel pulls back slowly, almost entirely, before thrusting forward again, his pace agonizingly slow, like he's savoring the way I squeeze around him.
"You feel that?" he murmurs, his lips brushing against my ear, his voice dark, wicked. "How deep I am?"
"Yes," I pant, my wrists straining against my restraints, desperate to touch him, to claw at his back, to do anything other than lie there and take it.
But that's exactly what he wants.
He rolls his hips again, dragging himself against that spot inside me that has my toes curling, my back arching off the bed.
"You lied to me, love," he reminds me, his tone thick with amusement, with something darker, more possessive. "So now I get to decide how long you last."
A whimper slips from my lips, and he chuckles, low and satisfied.
"You'll take what I give you," he murmurs, his fingers digging into my hips, holding me still even as I writhe beneath him. "And you'll thank me for it."
Then he pulls back and thrusts into me hard, setting a punishing rhythm that steals the breath from my lungs.
He grips my thighs, spreading me wider, fucking into me so deep I swear I can feel him everywhere, in my bones, in my blood.
"So good, you're always so good for me," he groans, his voice rough, barely held together. His restraint is a fragile thing, and gods, knowing I could break him with a single plea makes me throb around him.
"So cruel of me," he muses, his thrusts slowing, dragging out my torture, "to come inside this pretty pussy last night without making sure my girl got her release, hm?"
All I can do is whimper, my head tipping back, body trembling as he fucks me slow, deep, each deliberate roll of his hips making me feel every inch of him.
The rhythmic sound of the bed slamming into the wall and his low, guttural grunts fill the room, the air thick with heat, with the wet, obscene sounds of him driving into me. I bite into my lower lip to stop myself from sounding so damned desperate, but we both know—Azriel knows—just how wrecked I am.
The proof of it is between my thighs, soaking his cock, dripping down onto the sheets.
His hand slides down my stomach, his fingertips ghosting over my clit, not quite touching, just enough to make me sob in frustration.
"Look at you," he murmurs, his voice full of wicked delight. "Fucking dripping for me." His thumb swipes through my slick folds, pressing teasingly just above where I need him most. "So messy, love. So needy."
I whimper, arching into his touch, desperate for relief.
Azriel tuts, shaking his head. "Oh no, sweetheart. You don't get to come yet."
I whine, a broken, desperate sound, and he just chuckles, pulling his hand away entirely.
"You wanted to lie to me," he reminds me, his lips brushing over my jaw as his cock twitches inside me. "Now you get to feel what it's like to be left aching, desperate, needing."
I sob, my head thrashing against the pillow, but he just keeps fucking me, slow and deep, making me take every inch of him without giving me a single ounce of relief.
I fucking love it.
Azriel smirks against my throat, dragging his lips down the column of my neck, his cock still buried deep inside me, thrusting slow, deep, controlled. My body is writhing beneath him, my nails digging uselessly into my palms as his shadows keep me bound.
"Poor thing," he murmurs, nipping at the spot just below my jaw, his tongue soothing over the sting. "You sound so fucking desperate."
I whimper in response, my thighs trembling, my cunt clenching down around him in a futile attempt to pull him deeper, to coax him into fucking me the way I need.
He chuckles, low and dark, dragging his cock out so slow before sinking back in, every inch stretching me open again, every movement meant to drive me insane.
"You said you'd be good for me," he muses, his voice dripping with mock sympathy. "Said you understood why I had to punish you."
I nod frantically, my breath hitching as he rolls his hips again, the angle perfectly devastating.
"Then why," he murmurs, his lips brushing over my ear, "are you whining like a slut, love?"
A full-body shudder rolls through me at his words, and he laughs—a wicked, pleased sound—because he knows exactly what that does to me.
"Oh?" His grin is evident in his tone. "You like that?"
"Azriel," I rasp, my voice ruined, my body burning.
"Sir," he corrects smoothly, his hand wrapping around my throat, applying just the lightest pressure.
"Sir," I breathe, and fuck—I shouldn't be this turned on, shouldn't be this gone just from the way he's talking to me.
He hums in approval, dragging his nose along my cheek before whispering, "That's my girl."
And then he stops moving.
I let out a cry, bucking my hips, desperate for anything, but his grip on my throat tightens just slightly as a warning.
"Ah, ah," he tuts, shaking his head. "You'll take what I give you, remember?"
"Yes, sir," I whimper, my head falling back.
His thumb brushes over my lower lip. "Such a good girl." He tilts his head, pretending to consider something. "Maybe I should make you beg for it properly."
"I—" My voice catches as he barely rolls his hips, just enough for me to feel him inside me without giving me any real relief.
"I think I will," he murmurs, his thumb pressing against my lips. "Go on, love. Beg."
"Please, sir," I whisper, my voice barely audible.
He tuts, shaking his head. "Oh, sweetheart, you're not even trying. You know you can do better than that."
He pulls out entirely, making me sob in frustration, in unbearable, aching need.
"Again," he commands, his tone all silk and steel.
"Please," I gasp, my back arching, my legs trembling. "Please, sir, I need you so bad, I—fuck—I can't—"
He groans, his cock twitching against my entrance, and finally—finally—he slams back inside me, knocking the breath from my lungs.
"That's it," he praises, setting a brutal, punishing rhythm that has my nails digging into my palms, my mouth falling open on a soundless moan. "That's my fucking girl."
I'm ruined beneath him, my body alight with pleasure, with torment, with the unbearable need to come. And he knows.
His hand drops between us, his fingers finding my clit, and I wail, my body bowing off the bed as he circles the swollen bud with just the right amount of pressure.
"You wanna come, love?" he murmurs, his breath hot against my skin.
"Yes, sir," I sob. "Please, please, please—"
His pace falters, just for a second.
"Fuck," he rasps, his cock twitching inside me. "You sound so pretty when you beg for me."
"Then please," I cry, the pleasure coiling so tight I can't take it anymore.
He presses his forehead against mine, his thrusts turning erratic, desperate.
"Come for me, love," he breathes. "Now."
And fuck—I shatter.
My orgasm crashes over me like a tidal wave, my body seizing, my back arching, my walls fluttering wildly around him as I scream his name.
But Azriel—he doesn't stop.
Not even for a second.
"That's it," he growls, his fingers still working my clit, dragging my pleasure out, making my body shake, making me wail. "Give me another one, sweetheart. I know you can."
My body jerks, as my breath stutters and my thighs tremble violently from the sheer intensity of my release, he just keeps going.
"Too much," I gasp, my body writhing beneath him, every nerve ending alight with unbearable pleasure. "Sir—"
His hand tightens around my waist, his hips still slamming into me, his cock dragging against that spot inside me that makes my vision white out.
I sob, my body tensing as another wave of pleasure builds, impossibly fast, impossibly sharp.
"What's wrong, love?" he murmurs, his lips brushing over the shell of my ear. "You were so eager for it just a moment ago."
His fingers press against my clit, rubbing tight, devastating circles, making my body twitch beneath him.
"I—fuck, I can't—"
Azriel just grins, leaning down to kiss my temple, so mockingly sweet.
"You can," he purrs, his voice dripping with cruel satisfaction. "You were just begging for it, I know you can."
I whimper, my head tossing to the side, my brain too fogged to even process anything beyond the ruthless way he's using me.
"Look at you," he muses, his tone full of wicked amusement. "Fucked so dumb you can't even think straight."
I moan at his words, my legs trembling around his waist.
He laughs, low and mean, his fingers still ruthlessly working my clit, even as my entire body shakes from the overstimulation.
"What was that, love?" His teeth graze my jaw, sending another shudder down my spine. "You like being used like this?"
I sob, my head tossing back, unable to form words, unable to do anything with my hands and ankles bound. I loved it, he knew I loved it.
"Fuck," he groans, his thrusts growing erratic, his grip on my wrists bruising. "You're so fucking perfect like this—just my little plaything to fuck as I please."
I wail, my body burning, pleasure suffocating me as another climax threatens to rip through me. The pleasure was wringing me out dry.
His fingers press against my clit, merciless, relentless.
"You gonna give me another one, sweetheart?" His voice is taunting, his lips brushing over my ear. "Gonna come on my cock again, even though it's too much?" He mocks.
I nod frantically, tears slipping down my temples, my body convulsing from the unbearable pleasure.
He smirks, so fucking smug.
"That's what I thought," he murmurs. "My perfect little slut."
I gripe, clenching around him tightly.
Azriel moans, his cock twitching inside me, his thrusts growing sloppier, more frantic.
"One more," he growls, his hand wrapping around my throat, squeezing just right. "Give me one more, love. Be good for me."
I don't even have the breath to scream. And then he snaps his hips forward, his fingers moving faster, and I fucking lose it, another orgasm ripping through me, dragging me under, drowning me in white-hot bliss.
I just shatter, my body breaking apart, my vision going dark at the edges as pleasure obliterates me.
And Azriel—he fucking laughs, still thrusting, still pushing me, ruining me.
"That's my girl," he purrs. "Always so good for me."
Azriel pulls out slowly, almost tenderly, and I slump against the mattress, my body wrecked, trembling with the aftershocks of everything he's done to me. My wrists ache from pulling against the shadows, my legs barely responding to me as I try to catch my breath.
I think—finally. He's done.
But then his hands are on me again, flipping me onto my stomach in one fluid, effortless motion, his strength overpowering.
"Didn't think I was done, did you sweet girl?" he murmurs, his voice like a dark promise as he hauls me up onto my knees.
I barely have a second to process before his hand presses against my back, forcing my chest down, stuffing my face into the pillows.
I gasp, my arms pinned uselessly beneath me, my body still twitching from overstimulation as I feel him behind me—feel the hard press of his cock sliding between my soaked folds, teasing, not yet giving me what I know he's about to.
"Azriel," I mumble, my voice muffled against the pillows, wrecked and pleading.
He tuts at me, his grip tight as he spreads my knees wider, forcing me open for him.
"You think you can take another round?" His voice is full of mockery, his hand running slowly over my hip before gripping me there, holding me in place. "You've been so good for me, taking everything I've given you—you wouldn't let me down now would you?"
"No sir," I moan softly, my body already shuddering with anticipation as he lines himself up, the head of his cock nudging against my entrance.
I barely have time to pant out a desperate, "Sir," before he thrusts inside me, deep, the new angle making me see fucking stars.
I scream, my fingers clenching uselessly into the sheets as he fills me completely, pressing so deep it makes my entire body tremble.
"Fuck, that's better," he groans, his hands sliding up to grip my waist as he pulls out almost entirely before slamming back in, his pace instantly ruthless.
My mouth drops open in a silent moan, my mind blanking as he uses my body, fucking me like he owns me, like he's never going to stop.
"This is what you wanted, isn't it?" he murmurs, his voice dark, smug. "To be bent over like this, my cock so deep inside you, you can't even think?"
I sob against the pillows, my body already climbing toward another release, my overstimulated nerves sparking with unbearable pleasure.
Azriel just laughs, his hands gripping my hips as he forces my legs to stay open, refusing to let me close them, refusing to let me hide from how utterly ruined I am.
"You're so fucking perfect like this," he breathes, leaning down so his chest presses against my back, his teeth grazing my ear. "Taking me so well, love. My perfect slut."
I keen, my walls clamping down around him, my entire body melting under his words, his touch, his fucking torment.
"That's it," he purrs, his fingers sliding down between my legs, finding my clit, rubbing it in cruel little circles. "Come for me again, sweetheart. I want to feel you break on my cock."
He keeps his pace brutal even as I flutter around him, his grip on my hips unrelenting as he fucks me into the mattress, each thrust shoving me deeper into the pillows, like he's trying to mold me to the shape of his cock.
And all I can do is take it. Take the way he ruins me, the way he stretches me open again and again, making me feel so fucking full I can't even think.
"You hear yourself, sweetheart?" he taunts, his voice dark, drenched in amusement as he listens to the wrecked little sobs spilling from my lips. "Crying for me while you drip all over my cock like a good whore."
I sob again, pleasure and overstimulation making my body shake, making my mind fog over with nothing but him.
"F-fuck, Az," I whimper, my fingers clawing uselessly at the sheets.
His hand cracks against my ass, making me jolt forward on a choked-out cry.
"Sir," he corrects again, his tone firm, his free hand sliding up my back, tracing the arch his thrusts are forcing me into.
My walls clench around him so tight it drags a deep, filthy groan from his chest.
"You like that?" he purrs, smug as sin, rolling his hips in slow, torturous circles, making sure I feel every inch of him. "Like knowing I could fill this pretty little cunt up—watch you swell with my seed?"
I whimper, my toes curling at the thought, at the absolute filth pouring from his lips.
And then his hand is sliding down, pressing to my lower stomach—right where he's buried deep inside of me.
A guttural groan rumbles from his chest, his fingers flexing as he feels where he's stretching me open, where he'd fill me up if he let himself go.
"Fuck," he breathes, his grip tightening on my hip as he thrusts again, shoving deeper just to feel the bulge of himself inside me. "So fucking deep, love. You feel that?"
I nod weakly, my eyes rolling back, my body trembling as another broken sob leaves my lips.
He laughs, wicked and cruel.
"Already so fucked out, aren't you?" he taunts, dragging his palm over my stomach, pressing harder just to make me feel how deep he is. "Poor little thing—just a dumb, desperate mess on my cock."
I keen, my legs shaking, my body completely wrecked and at his mercy.
He twitches, my body arching as he presses into a spot that makes my vision go white, my mouth falling open in a pitiful pant. "Sir, feels, so good," I whimpered.
"Yeah? Greedy girl, going to come again?" He taunted, lips brushing against my shoulder, his sweat-slicked chest kissing my bowed back.
"Please—can I?" His pace didn't slow, even if I knew he was getting closer, he grew more and more sloppy but he did not slow.
"Wait f'me, I'm almost there," He whispered into my skin.
I clenched around him, unable to help myself, wanting to help him get there. My arms shook, near to giving out as I panted into the bed sheets, gripping the pristine white cloth in my fist to stop myself from moving up on the bed.
He twitched inside of me again, growing eager. "Inside," I breathe softly. "Fill me," I beg.
"Yeah? Want me to claim this cunt?" He whispered, lips grazing over the shell of my ear.
"Please, sir," I beg, bottom lip wobbling.
"Okay love, come—come f'me," He chokes slightly, consumed by his need for release. I doubted I could hold onto that edge for much longer, and the sound that left me during that final orgasm was louder than the rest, primal in a way. He twitched once more, and as I clenched tightly around him from the cresting of my orgasm, he came too, painting my walls white with his thick release.
He thrust slowly, gently, easing me down from the white-hot high that still had my body trembling. My whimper was soft, and breathless, as he finally pulled from me, his release spilling from me, warm and slick against my thighs. If not for his steady hands cradling me, guiding me down onto the mattress, I might've collapsed completely.
"Not too much?" His voice was hushed, rough around the edges, like he was just as wrecked as I was, despite that Illyrian stamina keeping him upright. A calloused hand brushed through my likely tangled hair, tucking it behind my ear so he could see me clearly.
I tried to form words, but all I could manage was a breathless, "No." A slow inhale, then, "Felt s'good." My voice was hoarse, barely more than a whisper, and even that much effort felt like too much.
He hummed softly, pressing a lingering kiss to my temple. "You did so good," he murmured against my skin before slipping his arms beneath me. I barely had time to react before I was in his embrace again, lifted with ease. "Let's get you cleaned up."
I nodded weakly, my limbs boneless, and let him carry me into the bathroom. The cool marble of the counter met the flushed heat of my skin, soothing, grounding. I watched him through heavy-lidded eyes, admiring him in this quiet aftermath. The way his jaw clenched in focus as he wrung out a damp cloth. The tenderness in his touch as he wiped me down, extra careful between my thighs. The contrast of his rough, battle-worn hands moving with such exquisite care.
He combed through my hair next, untangling the knots his fingers had left earlier, his motions steady, unhurried. Every stroke, every pass of his hands over my body, was reverent. Devotional.
He kissed me softly then, tasting of cedar and salt, of something uniquely him. His hands skimmed my sides, his touch a whisper of heat against my skin.
"Six times." His voice was smug, but quiet, like he was half-talking to himself.
I blinked up at him, dazed. "Hm?"
"You came six times." His lips quirked into a knowing smirk, his fingers tracing idle patterns along my thigh.
Heat flooded my already flushed cheeks, my stomach twisting with something like mortification and pride all at once. If he knew so easily, then surely he knew immediately last night when it wasn't real.
"You were counting?"
He shrugged, feigning nonchalance. "Had to make up for last night."
I huffed a small, breathy laugh. "You did."
His smirk softened as he kissed me again. Slow. Deep. A promise.
"How do you know?" I murmured against his lips, pulling back just enough for our noses to brush. "When I come?"
His gaze darkened, and something in his expression made my stomach flip. "You make this pretty face," he said, voice dropping, thumb tracing my bottom lip. "You couldn't fake it if you tried."
I swallowed hard, heat pooling low once more.
"And you always moan my name," he continued, pressing a slow kiss to my throat. "Every single time." His lips dragged over my pulse, felt the way it jumped. "Without fail, it's always my name on your lips."
I could feel my blush creeping lower, my skin burning everywhere he touched.
"You didn't last night," he murmured, voice a lazy drawl like he was enjoying my embarrassment. "Wasn't hard to figure out."
I groaned, dropping my forehead against his shoulder, but I couldn't help but laugh at myself. He chuckled too, the sound a warm rumble against my skin.
I pressed a kiss to his temple, letting my hands roam down his back, enjoying the feel of his muscles beneath my touch.
"So," I mused, still breathless, still utterly spent. "Breakfast?"
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julymusings · 4 months ago
Text
dark chocolate cherry
i want to bring you flowers from the mountains, bluebells, dark hazels, and rustic baskets of kisses. i want to do with you what spring does with the cherry trees.
or; your boyfriend shows up when you just want some alone time [3.2k]
jason todd x fem!reader; reader gets her period and describes painful symptoms; just fluff; jason "words don't come easy so here's acts of service" todd this is earlier in the relationship which is why he's still a little shy but she knows he's red hood? idk man. i was just going with it; can you guess what inspired this? (everything is awful)
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The day started at 2 AM when you woke to shooting pains in your abdomen and blood everywhere. It continued until 2:45 while you cleaned yourself, changed clothes, put on a fresh pad, took some painkillers, and changed the sheets. It paused for about an hour until you woke up again at 4:00, courtesy of Gotham’s patented night-life that had taught you to completely tune out the sound of police sirens. Tonight, however, they weren’t tuning out.
The sirens quieted at 4:10, by which angry tears collected in the corners of your eyes as you flopped around in bed in an attempt to get comfortable. No matter what you did, there was always something wrong; the pillow was too hard, the blanket was too scratchy, the position hurt your arm.
From 4:11 to 4:12, you screamed into your pillow.
By 4:15 you had settled in front of the TV with a bowl of dry cereal (it took everything in you not to cry over the lack of milk in your fridge), a heating pad, and your favorite comfort show queued up.
At 8 AM you managed to drag yourself to work, where you half-assed the day’s tasks, took a 15-minute break to cry in your car, then dipped out a half-hour early.
Now, at 5 PM on a Friday evening, you’re curled into the fetal position in front of your TV with your comfort show resumed and your trusty heating pad cranked to the highest setting. Prepared to spend the entire night here, you already changed into pajamas and kept a couple blankets within reach. Your phone buzzes on the coffee table, and you stretch to reach it, careful not to lose your comfortable position or roll off the couch.
Jason About to leave Be there in 20
You groan out loud. You want to throw your phone across the room, but decide against it because no amount of hormones from hell are worth six hundred dollars. You’re still angry, though, for being so stupid as to forget about the date you had planned for tonight. Scrolling up to earlier messages, you see another text from today wishing you a good morning and telling you he was excited to see you tonight. But, too down to bother checking any messages today, you had missed it.
You I can’t tonight anymore I’m sorry I don’t feel great
After hitting send, you place your phone on the ground, not even having the energy to reach for the coffee table again. Or the energy to lift your arm back up, apparently, given how it hangs limply over the edge of the couch. You feel guilty about cancelling, but you are in no state to go out tonight. You’re used to the symptoms of your period hitting so hard. As much as you and Jason care about each other, you’re not sure you’re ready for him to see you like this. You’ve managed to plan your relationship around your hormone cycle so far, but today it came early.
Your phone’s buzzing is muffled by the rug, and you almost don’t hear it. Jason’s photo is displayed on the screen.
Your hanging hand clicks ‘answer’ and puts it on speaker so you can take the call without moving from how you're curled up.
“Is everything okay? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, I’m fine, I just don’t feel up for going out tonight. I’d rather stay home.”
“Did something happen?”
“No, I just got my period so I’m not really in the mood.”
“Okay, we can stay in tonight. What do you feel like eating? I can pick something up.”
“No, Jason…I want to stay home alone tonight.”
There’s a beat of silence on the other end of the line.
“Okay…did I do something?” His voice comes out a little smaller.
“No, you’re fine, I promise. I just don’t feel like seeing anyone right now.”
“…Not even me?”
Your hand presses against your temples to soothe the building tension headache. The self-doubt in his tone brings the anguish of the entire day bubbling up your throat. You feel like the worst person in the world. Exactly how you don’t want him to see you.
“Jason…it’s not you. I just…I feel like shit right now, honestly. Everything hurts, I’m miserable and sad and angry at everything, I’m breaking out all over.” You feel yourself welling up at all these little stresses coming out. “I’m craving everything but feel too sick to eat anything…I feel pretty disgusting right now, and frankly, I don’t want you to see me like this.” You finish your rant with a sniffle. You wipe your nose, trying to hold back the sob that’s threatening to break through. But at his silence, your worst, most improbable fears claw their way to the surface: he hates you now. You scared him away. You exhale heavily into your sleeve as more tears spill.
The phone is quiet for a long moment.  Then; “I could never find you disgusting,” he says, gently. “But if that’s what you want, then we’ll reschedule.”
“Thank you. And sorry.”
He speaks with a tone you can’t quite parse. “Don’t apologize. Just feel better.”
-
-
-
It’s one hour after your phone call, and at the first knock, you know who it is. Who else could it be? With that soft, somewhat hesitant, one-knuckle rap on the door. Only one person knocks on your door like that.
“Jason, I told you not to come here,” you say a little more cutting than you intend to, but your back and shoulders feel like they’re about to snap under a phantom pressure and the frustration of your request being outright ignored leaves a burning bitterness that channels itself into a violent wrenching open of the door.
He jumps a little at the abruptness of your greeting. One look at your face and he visibly deflates.
“I’m sorry…I know you said not to come, but…” his gaze casts downward to his hands. You follow; he’s clutching a reusable grocery bag. Peeking out of the top is a gallon of Neapolitan ice cream. The ice cream carton’s condensation seeped through a small patch of the cloth bag and dripped onto the other items; a bushel of greens, among some other fruits and vegetables, as well as a parcel of brown paper that was fastened closed with a twine string. You return your gaze to his face.
“I think—” he cuts himself off, free hand coming up to rub the back of his neck. Then he drops his hand and sighs. “I’m sorry. This was a bad idea. You told me not to come here and I ignored you, but I thought…” he trails off, probably hoping you’ll say something so he can gauge your reaction.
You just stare at him.
He shifts his weight back and forth. His hand twitches.
“Okay, yeah, I’ll—”
Then, you burst into tears.
Jason’s eyes widen. He reaches out to touch you, then stops himself. “Oh, fuck, I’m sorry! I’m sorry, this was stupid. Please stop crying, I’m so sorry—” He’s panicked, trying to calm you down with apologies and soothing assurances that he will leave immediately and never go against your wishes again. All the while you stand in the doorway, blubbering like a toddler with a skinned knee, new tears forming faster than you can wipe the old ones away.
He once again raises a hand towards you, before it stutters, then clenches into a fist as if it takes all his strength to fight against the instinct to be close to you, fighting against the string that tethers him to you. He drags his hand down his face, then it falls back to his side.
“Okay, I—I’m leaving now. I’m leaving. Do you…want this?” He holds the bag out to you.
With it now in front of you, its further contents are visible. You manage to tamp down your tears enough to get a few words out.
“Did you—hic—buy me groceries?”
“Yeah…” There’s a wince in his tone, as if he’s only now realizing that his gesture is not translating as he intended.
You look back up at him with pursed lips and knitted brows, sniffling. Sure, the ice cream you can understand, but…you have no idea what to make of the rest.
The bag drops back to his side. “I figured…it’s just— it’s the stuff that you’re supposed to—” He strokes his palm over his mouth, eyes screwing shut for a moment. He huffs at himself, then continues. “I mean I’m sure you already know all of this, so maybe you already have all these things, and now I’m realizing how unnecessary all this was, and I shouldn’t have assumed—”
“Jason,” you say. Your upset has since been overshadowed by something else, though you can’t tell what it is. And your crying has stopped, but its lingering effects have you feeling congested and a little foggy. You’re half expecting this to be a fever dream that you’re moments away from waking up from in a cold sweat.
“—because obviously you know what helps you feel better much more than I do—”
“Jason.”
“And you— yeah?” His eyes are a little harried when they find yours again. But off your tired and still-confused look, he gets the message and collects himself.
“Right, yeah, I just thought that…maybe I could bring you some of the stuff with all those minerals that are supposed to help women when they’re…menstruating.” He briefly breaks eye contact at the end of his sentence, red rouge creeping up his neck.
You can’t help it; you start to giggle. You can’t remember the last time you heard a man use the term ‘menstruating’ in a non-medical context. And the fact that he’s so shy about it— upset as you may be (though not at him), there’s no denying how adorable your boyfriend is. His head shoots back to you as your laughter intensifies. He blushes harder.
“It’s not that funny,” he mutters.
You step away from the door, finally closing the space between you, and wrap your arms around his torso. Your head nestles into his chest. He gently drops the grocery bag on the ground and reciprocates your hug. He rests his chin on your head, which fits perfectly under his. Like two puzzle pieces clicking into place. You breathe him in.
“Sorry I’m such a mess,” you murmur into his shirt.
He breathes into your hair. “You have nothing to apologize for. And you’re not a mess.”
You look up, chin resting in the space between his collarbones. He looks down at you with a small smile, but some wariness is still etched into his features. Fear of unwittingly upsetting you again. He brings up a hand to push some hair out of your face and tuck it behind your ear. His hand remains there, toying with the hair that falls below your shoulder.
"Thank you for the food,” you whisper. The moment feels too intimate to speak any other way.
“I’m sorry for not listening to you. I just…” He imitates your quietness, like his admission is also too vulnerable to say loudly. “I really wanted to see you. And I hated the idea of you feeling bad about yourself, or being in pain. I didn’t mean to upset you.”
Your eyes feel wet again. The first instinct is to hide your face, maybe press it to his chest once more. But, for some reason, you don’t. You want him to see you like this, messy and emotional and upset. You want him to see every part of you, and you want to see every part of him, the good and the bad.
“You didn’t.” A tear slips past the effort to keep it at bay. He shows no reaction to it, eyes never leaving yours, other than a quick swiping away with his thumb. “No one’s ever done anything like this for me before. That’s why I was crying. Not because you showed up.”
“That doesn’t seem right. This is nothing. You deserve even more.”
With no words to fully, adequately communicate the blooming in your chest, you stand on your toes, reaching up to him for a kiss. But given his stature, your lips only reach his chin and brush over its underside.
At your quiet whine, he chuckles and leans down to meet you in the middle. The kiss is soft; filled with the innocence of fresh blossoms in the spring, and the sweetness of its borne fruit.
You pull away when a vicious cramp roots you back to the present. Your limps tighten around Jason with a groan.
“I need to go back inside. I’ve been away from my heating pad for too long.”
His shoulders sag when you step away from him. “Oh, um…do you still…want me to leave?”
With a simple exhale of humorous disbelief, you grasp his hand in yours and tug him to your front door. He’s like an excited puppy, eyes brightened and perking up as he grabs the grocery bag and happily trails after you.
He goes straight to the kitchen, pulling out a chair at the counter for you to settle into, then sets the bag on the counter. The ice cream carton has dampened most of the cloth by now, and likely the rest of its contents, but rather than attending to the groceries, his first action is retrieving your heating pad from where it rests on the couch. He unplugs it from the wall outlet and brings it to you. You curl up on the chair with it pressed flat against your lower stomach. It only takes a minute for the pressure in your hips to abate.
Then he moves to the groceries. The ice cream immediately goes in the freezer, and he unloads what’s remaining onto the counter, one by one, and you take note of each item. There’s spinach, carrots, apples, oranges, dark chocolate, some kind of meat wrapped in brown paper, and, strangely enough, an entire block of cheese.
You give him a quizzical look, picking it up to read the label. “You got me…cheddar cheese?”
He retrieves a cutting board and knife from its spot next to the sink, then takes the cheese from you. “Good for certain symptoms.” He slices open the plastic wrapping and cuts out some cubes with skilled efficiency. He does the same with an apple. “They all are,” he says, referring to his entire haul. He completes the makeshift charcuterie board with a couple squares of dark chocolate and slides it across the counter.
You look down at the cutting board, thinking about everything he’s done for you; everything you never even had to ask for. The words sit on your tongue, encaged by your clenched teeth; an admission that coils itself around your spine and squeezes tight, restricts your breathing and pumps your heart at thrice its speed. But you feel yourself welling up again, and the first bout of tears already exhausted you so much that all you can manage is, “I don’t know what to do with all this. I don’t have the energy to make anything good.”
But he just smiles and says, “That’s what I’m here for, honey. Can I make you something?”
You nod. He gets to work. The immediacy of his actions, how he takes no time to decide on a dish or find a recipe, makes you think his previously stated intentions of ‘just dropping this off’ were less genuine than he lead you to believe. Nevertheless, you munch on the snacks he laid out for you and watch him work. The cheese and apples are a surprisingly cohesive combination, the meshing of sweet crispiness and savory creaminess eliciting a contented sigh from you. You try to ignore the way Jason smirks in the corner of your periphery. The chocolate is incredible, yet unfamiliar. You read the label on the packaging: 80% Dark Chocolate with Cherry and Almond Filling. Even if you hadn’t tasted it yet, the quality of the packaging itself would have been enough to let you know that this chocolate is extremely high-quality. Like, special-order-from-Europe quality. Not stop-at-the-grocery-store-on-the-way-home quality.
“Where is this from? Did you buy this today?” You ask him through a mouthful of the rich, melting chocolate.
He doesn’t look up from the carrots he’s dicing. “Uh…no.”
Anyone else would attribute his avoidance of eye-contact to standard kitchen-knife caution. You are not anyone else. You could blindfold him, spin him around ten times, put a sharp knife in his hand, and he could still pull off a perfect julienne. You look closer. His cheeks are dusted with pink.
You let out a laugh. “Jason, you’re not embarrassed about liking fancy chocolate, are you?”
“No! Not at all,” he says, ceasing his chopping. He looks up, but not quite at you.
“Then?”
“‘Then’ what?” He asks.
“Then why are you being so shifty right now?” You try to catch his gaze.
“I’m not!” He defends. “It’s just chocolate! Do you like it? I’ll bring you more.” He’s stealthy with the way he avoids your eyes; you almost can’t notice how hard he’s trying not to make eye contact.
“Jason!” You reach across the counter, having to rise off the chair slightly, and take his face in your hands, making him look at you. When he does, he wears a sheepish smile.
“It’s…” His removes your hands from his face, holding them in his. He mumbles something, turning his head to the side. But you catch the tail end of it, a goading grin already creeping up your face.
“What was that?” You tilt your ear towards him, exaggerating the action.
“It’s Bruce’s.” He, in turn, exaggerates the enunciation, rolling his eyes at your simpering. “I…found it. In his pantry one day. And I liked it, so I took it. And then I…kept taking it. Every time I visited.”
You pout teasingly. “And you’re ashamed to admit that you think he has good taste in something?”
He doesn’t say anything, only hiding his face in his shoulder. You pull on your intertwined hands and he gets the message, skirting around the kitchen counter to come closer.
“You are so adorable, you know that?” You say. You reach up and pinch his cheeks. He swats your hands away, but there’s no mistaking his broad, childish grin for anything but affection.
He breaks off another square from the chocolate bar and holds it to your lips. You bite off a small portion, then push it back to him. He takes the remaining piece in his mouth and his eyes close for a brief moment as he savors the sweet, tart, and nutty flavors. You simply watch, entranced by him. Then, he kisses you. You lean into it, hands sliding up his shirt to grip the fabric and bring him even closer. His hold finds your waist.
He tastes like cherries and dark chocolate.
He breaks the kiss to rest his forehead on yours, and you want to tell him that. That, and so much more. But from the look on his face, the way his eyes find yours and the tips of his ears have a similar heat to the one in your chest, you can tell he already knows.
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when it comes to jason's post-pit-repressed-teenager characterization (aka despite being older he's still as inexperienced and confused and insecure about the world outside of vigilantism and w/ women as a 15 y/o would be) (aka my favorite characterization tee hee), i think that he's mature about periods, knows they're normal and not gross or shameful etc, but still gets shy about saying the actual word, for no other reason than the 'shy around women' part always makes me giggle
also bruce is keeping the chocolate stocked specifically because he knows jason likes it and will keep taking it because he loves his son even if his son doesn't love him (he does he's just in his angsty teen 'i hate this family you don't understand me' phase rn)
divider is from here
quote at the beginning is pablo neruda <3
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gf2bellamy · 24 days ago
Note
hello!
I sent a request some time ago but not sure if you saw it 💞could you do one where the reader is the one infected with anthrax instead of reid? maybe they are already a official couple? or not- whichever is fine. Fluffy at the end 💞bonus points for Hotch worried for both of them
Thanks love!
anthrax — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x reader ( no use of y/n ) content warnings: reader is infected with anthrax , mention of being dizzy and exhausted , mention of fever, mention of nasal cannula, reader passing out , reader ends up in hospital a/n: hiii!!! i'm so sorry it took so long <3 also i rewatched the scenes on youtube ( instead of the entire ep ) so if i got something wrong i'm vv sorry !! hope you like this :)
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Spencer frowned, mid-sentence, his words faltering. "What do—" He turned instinctively, expecting to see you beside him. But you weren’t there.
His stomach twisted as he spun in place, scanning the area. Derek was a few steps away on the sidewalk, wearing the same confused expression. You had been right there just moments ago.
Then Spencer's gaze snapped to the house. The front door was swinging shut.
He surged forward, reaching the door just as it latched shut. His hands pressed flat against the wood before he fumbled with the handle, rattling it frantically.
“Hey! What are you doing?” His voice wavered as he rattled the door handle, his hazel eyes wide with panic. He could see you clearly through the glass pane. 
Derek was right behind him now. “Open the door. What the hell are you doing?” His voice was demanding, but Spencer could hear the underlying fear laced in it. 
That’s when he saw it. 
The small, shattered vial on the floor. 
Tiny, glimmering shards of broken glass spread across the tile, barely catching the light. But Spencer didn't care about the glass—he cared about what had been inside of it. 
Anthrax. 
The realization hit him like a freight train. His mind, always so quick, always analyzing, now felt sluggish, as though he were processing everything in slow motion. 
The room you were in had been compromised. You had inhaled it. 
“No,” Spencer whispered, shaking his head in disbelief. 
His hands pressed against the cool surface of the glass, as if he could reach through it and pull you back to him. Derek muttered a curse under his breath, his jaw tightening, but even he knew—there was nothing either of them could do. Not right now. 
You swallowed hard, blinking up at Spencer. He could see the fear in your eyes, the resignation settling in. 
"I’m sorry," you murmured. 
A lump formed in his throat. His fingers curled into fists against the door. 
“Don’t. Don’t say that.” His voice cracked. “You’re going to be okay. We can fix this. We can—” 
Your lips trembled, and though you tried to smile, it faltered. 
Spencer had never felt so helpless in his entire life. His mind screamed at him to think, to find a solution, to do something.But for the first time, he had no answer. 
And that terrified him. 
You weren’t sure how much time had passed. Minutes? An hour? The room felt both too hot and too cold at the same time. Your head rested against the door, your body slumped slightly as exhaustion settled into your bones. You weren’t in pain, but you felt weak���like all the energy had slowly been draining out of you. 
Through the glass, Spencer was still there. 
He hadn’t moved an inch. 
Derek had tried—more than once—to get him to step away, but Spencer refused. His back was pressed against the door, his knees pulled up as he sat on the floor, staring at you like if he blinked, you might disappear entirely. 
“I’m not leaving,” he had said, voice quiet. And that was that. 
You exhaled softly, letting your fingers trace invisible patterns against the cool surface of the glass. Spencer noticed immediately. His gaze flickered to your hand, then back to your face. 
“You’re sweating,” he murmured, concern evident in every syllable. 
You gave a small, lopsided smile. “Yeah. I guess breathing in bioweapons does that to a person.” 
Spencer frowned. “That’s not funny.” 
“Little funny,” you teased, tilting your head to look at him. 
He sighed, but you could see the slight twitch of his lips, like he wanted to scold you and smile at the same time.
A comfortable silence settled between you two, despite the chaos unfolding around you.
“You’re okay,” he said suddenly, more to himself than to you. “Your symptoms aren’t progressing rapidly. That’s… that’s a good sign.” 
You raised a brow. “You’re diagnosing me through a glass door now, Doctor Reid?” 
His lips pressed into a thin line. “Actually, rapid-onset symptoms from inhalation of anthrax typically appear within a few hours. Since you’re only experiencing mild weakness and slight sweating, it’s possible that the exposure was minimal. And if that’s the case, early treatment should be highly effective—” 
“Spence,” you interrupted gently. 
He stopped rambling. 
Your voice was softer this time. “I know you’re scared.” 
His eyes darted away for a split second, but then he sighed and met your gaze again. “Of course I am,” he admitted. “I—” He hesitated, running a hand through his hair before resting his palm against the door, mirroring your position. “I can’t lose you.” 
Warmth spread through your chest, even as your body trembled slightly from exhaustion. 
“You won’t.” 
You weren’t sure if it was the truth or just something to comfort him, but you needed him to believe it. And maybe, just maybe, you needed to believe it, too. 
Spencer took a slow, shaky breath. “Just… keep talking to me, okay? Stay awake.” 
You smiled. “Only if you promise to stay with me.” 
His eyes softened, his fingers twitching slightly against the glass. 
“I promise.” 
Your body felt heavier now. The exhaustion was creeping in faster than before, and you could see the way Spencer’s expression kept shifting—his mind was racing, cataloging every symptom, analyzing every possible outcome. You knew what he was doing. He was trying to calculate how much time you had, how bad it would get. 
You couldn’t let him spiral. 
“Spence,” you said, voice softer than before. You blinked a few times, trying to focus, forcing yourself to sit up straighter. He immediately caught on, his hands pressing against the glass like he could hold you up through sheer willpower alone. 
“I’m here,” he reassured, but his voice was tight. 
You gave him a small, tired smile. “Do you remember our first date?” 
Spencer’s forehead creased. “Why—why are you bringing that up right now?” 
“Because I want to talk about something good,” you murmured, tilting your head slightly, “and because I want you to stop staring at me like I’m a math equation with a really bad solution.” 
Spencer’s lips parted like he wanted to argue, but then he let out a breathy laugh, shaking his head. “That’s not how I look at you.” 
“Little bit,” you teased. 
He sighed, but his shoulders relaxed—just a fraction. “Of course I remember our first date.” 
You smiled, waiting for him to continue. He shifted slightly, his eyes flickering over you, still scanning, still worried. But he played along, just like you wanted. 
“I was terrified,” he admitted after a beat. 
Your brows lifted. “You were terrified?” 
“More than you could ever imagine,” he said, his lips twitching at the memory. “I had wanted to ask you out for months, but every time I got close, I chickened out. Then one day, you just—” 
“I made the first move,” you finished for him, grinning. 
Spencer rolled his eyes but smiled despite himself. “You didn’t ask me out. You just—assumed we were going on a date.” 
You laughed, though it was weaker than usual. “Because I knew you wanted to. You weren’t exactly subtle.” 
“I thought I was,” Spencer muttered. 
“You were not.” 
His cheeks flushed slightly, and even though you felt awful, you still found the energy to appreciate how endearing he was. “Okay, fine. But that didn’t make the date any less nerve-wracking.” 
You hummed. “Yeah? What part was the worst?” 
Spencer barely hesitated. “When I spilled coffee all over my shirt before we even sat down.” 
You giggled, your fingers tapping lightly against the glass. “I remember that. You looked so horrified.” 
“I was mortified,” he corrected. “And then you just… laughed. Not at me, but—you laughed like it was the best thing that had happened all day.” 
You grinned. “Because it was adorable. You were so worried about being perfect, but I already liked you, Spence. The coffee disaster just made you even cuter.” 
Spencer exhaled a slow breath, his eyes studying you. The warmth of the memory had softened the tension in his face, but not entirely. “I didn’t think you could like me back,” he admitted quietly. “Not like that.” 
Your chest ached—not from the anthrax, but from him. 
You pressed your palm against the glass, mirroring his. “I always liked you. I was just waiting for you to catch up.” 
Spencer let out a soft chuckle, shaking his head. “God, I love you.” 
Your breath hitched, just slightly. Even though you’d heard those words before, they always felt brand new coming from him. You let them settle in your heart.
“Good,” you whispered, your eyelids growing heavier. “Because I really, really love you too.” 
Spencer noticed immediately. The slight droop in your posture, the way your blinks lasted just a second too long. His body tensed. 
“No, hey, stay with me,” he urged, his voice sharper now. “You have to stay awake.” 
You forced a smile, tilting your head against the door. “I’m still here, Spence. Just a little tired.” 
Spencer’s jaw clenched. He turned his head sharply toward the nearest agent. “Where the hell is the medical team?” 
“They’re almost here,” someone answered. 
“Not fast enough,” Spencer muttered under his breath before looking back at you. His fingers curled into fists against the glass. “You have to stay with me.” 
“I will,” you promised, though you weren’t entirely sure you had a say in it. 
Spencer sucked in a shaky breath, forcing himself to stay calm. “Tell me more about our first date.” 
You blinked up at him. “You remember it all.” 
“Tell me anyway.” His voice cracked. 
You swallowed, nodding slightly. “Okay,” you whispered, gripping onto his voice like a lifeline. “We got ice cream after coffee. You ordered vanilla.” 
Spencer exhaled a small laugh. “It was the safest option.” 
“And then I let you try mine, and you hated it.” 
“It was mango,” he scoffed. “It tasted like… tropical regret.” 
You giggled again, your body sagging just slightly more against the door. Spencer noticed. His fingers twitched like he wanted to reach through the glass and pull you up, hold you steady. 
“Keep going,” he urged desperately. 
You blinked. “We… we sat at the park for hours.” 
“Yeah?” 
You nodded sleepily. “You kept talking about stars.” 
Spencer swallowed thickly. “Because I wanted to impress you.” 
“You already had.” You smiled softly, the memory flickering in your mind like an old film reel.
"Do you remember the first time you told me you loved me?" 
Spencer's lips parted, his brows knitting together as he searched his mind. He was stalling. 
"You do," you teased, your voice barely above a whisper. "You just don’t want to admit how ridiculous it was." 
A faint blush crept up his neck. "It wasn’t ridiculous." 
You let out a weak chuckle. "Spence. You said it because you were delirious from a fever." 
Spencer groaned, tipping his head back against the door for a brief second before looking at you again. "It still counts," he muttered defensively. 
You grinned, the exhaustion pressing heavy on your limbs, but you fought to stay awake—if only to see the way his ears turned pink at the memory. 
"You were so stubborn," you mused. "You refused to admit you were sick, and then, the second I forced you to lay down, you grabbed my hand and just—" 
"I love you," Spencer murmured, finishing the sentence before you could. 
You blinked at him. 
"You didn’t even remember saying it the next morning," you reminded him, smiling despite the heaviness weighing down on you. 
Spencer huffed. "That part was unfortunate." 
"I don’t know," you teased. "I kind of liked getting to tell you that you'd confessed your love to me in the middle of a fever dream." 
Spencer let out a breathy laugh, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. His fingers twitched against the glass, his entire body taut with barely restrained panic. 
"Tell me more," he said suddenly. 
You blinked. "About what?" 
"Anything. Everything. Just keep talking." 
He was trying to keep you awake. 
You knew it. 
But you didn’t argue. 
You smiled softly and whispered, "Okay," before slipping into another story, your voice carrying through the glass like a lifeline. Spencer held onto every single word. 
At some point, though, Spencer had to move when the medical team came rushing in. You barely registered it—just the sound of frantic voices, the distant feeling of your body being dragged into motion. You were barely holding on, your eyes fluttering shut despite Spencer calling your name. 
Then— 
Water. Cold, drenching, shocking. 
You remembered that much. The hazmat team had hosed you down. There was vague, fleeting awareness—Spencer shouting at someone about being gentle with you, the sting of something against your skin, and then— 
You were drenched, clothes clinging to your frame, hair plastered to your face, looking equal parts miserable and very out of it. 
Then—nothing. 
When you woke up, everything felt… hazy. Heavy. Your body ached, your limbs stiff as if you’d been asleep for days. A nasal cannula rested under your nose, cool oxygen flowing through it, making each breath feel easier. 
You blinked slowly, adjusting to the dim hospital room. The rhythmic beeping of monitors filled the quiet space, and then— 
Spencer. 
He was sitting in the chair beside your bed, staring into the air, his hands clasped together tightly. His eyes were shadowed with exhaustion, his usually neat curls disheveled, his clothes wrinkled like he hadn’t moved in hours. 
“Spencer?” 
Your voice came out hoarse, barely more than a whisper, but the second it reached him, he jolted upright. His head snapped toward you, his breath catching in his throat as he stood so quickly the chair scraped against the floor. 
For a moment, he just stared down at you, his hazel eyes wide, disbelieving—like he wasn’t sure if you were real or if his mind was playing some cruel trick on him. 
Then, in a rush, his hand was on yours, gripping tightly, his fingers trembling slightly. 
“You’re awake,” he breathed, like he had been holding those words in his chest for hours. 
You tried to smile, but your lips barely moved. “Hey, Spence.” 
He let out a choked breath, his free hand pushing through his hair, trying to keep himself together. 
“You—God, you scared me,” he whispered, his voice raw. 
Your fingers twitched against his, a weak attempt to squeeze his hand. “Sorry.” 
Spencer let out something between a laugh and a sigh, shaking his head. “Don’t. Don’t apologize.” 
There was a beat of silence, and then you gestured vaguely toward the hospital bed. “So… can I get a hug, or are you just going to stand there looking like a lost puppy?”
Spencer hesitated, his eyes flickering to the monitors and wires surrounding you. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
You rolled your eyes. “Spencer, I’m not made of glass. Hug me.”
That was all the encouragement he needed. He leaned down carefully, wrapping his arms around you in a gentle but firm embrace. You sighed, melting into him, your face buried in the crook of his neck. He smelled like coffee and antiseptic, and his shirt was wrinkled beyond repair, but you didn’t care.
“I was so scared,” he murmured, his voice muffled against your hair.
You tightened your grip on him as much as your weakened body would allow. “I know. But I’m okay. Thanks to you.”
Spencer pulled back slightly, his brows furrowed. “Me? I didn’t do anything.”
“You stayed with me,” you said simply, your voice soft but firm. “That’s not nothing.”
Spencer’s eyes softened, and he brushed a strand of hair away from your face, his fingers lingering for a moment. “I told you I wasn’t leaving.”
“And you didn’t,” you said, smiling up at him, though your smile wavered slightly as you noticed the dark circles under his eyes, the way his shoulders sagged with exhaustion.
You watched him carefully, taking in every little detail—the way his fingers curled tightly around yours, the lingering fear in his eyes, the exhaustion weighing down his entire body. He looked like he hadn’t slept in days, and the thought made your chest ache.
“How long?” you murmured, your voice barely above a whisper.
Spencer swallowed hard, his gaze flickering away for a moment before meeting yours again. “20 hours.”
Your chest tightened. No wonder he looked like he hadn’t slept.
“You stayed?” you asked, though you already knew the answer.
He let out a soft, breathy laugh, though there was no humor in it. “Of course I did.”
You let his words settle over you, the warmth of them sinking into your skin. Slowly, you turned your hand, just enough to thread your fingers through his. His grip tightened instantly, like he was afraid you might slip away if he let go.
“I’m okay,” you murmured, your voice steady despite the fatigue pulling at you.
Spencer exhaled shakily, nodding, but his eyes betrayed him—he was still scared.
“Yeah,” he whispered, squeezing your hand like he needed to convince himself. “You are.”
And for the first time in what felt like an eternity, he finally let himself believe it.
The door creaked open, and both of you turned to see Hotch stepping into the room. His usual stoic expression softened slightly as his eyes landed on you.
“You’re awake,” he said, his voice calm but carrying an undercurrent of relief. “How are you feeling?”
You managed a small smile. “Like I got hit by a truck, but… I’ll live.”
Hotch nodded, his gaze flickering to Spencer for a moment before returning to you. “You gave us quite the scare.”
“Sorry about that,” you said, your tone light despite the heaviness of the situation. “I’ll try to avoid inhaling bioweapons in the future.”
Hotch’s lips twitched, the closest thing to a smile you were likely to get from him. “I’d appreciate that.” He paused, his expression growing more serious. “The medical team said you’re responding well to treatment.”
You nodded, feeling a small weight lift off your chest. “That’s good to hear.”
Hotch glanced at Spencer again, his eyes narrowing slightly as he took in the young agent’s disheveled appearance. “Reid, when was the last time you slept?”
Spencer blinked, caught off guard by the question. “I, uh… I’m not sure.”
Hotch sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Go home. Get some rest. I’ll stay with her.”
Spencer shook his head immediately, his grip on your hand tightening. “No. I’m not leaving.”
Hotch raised an eyebrow. “You’re no good to anyone if you collapse from exhaustion. Go home, shower, eat something, and then you can come back.”
Spencer opened his mouth to argue, but you cut him off.
“He’s right, Spence,” you said softly, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “You look like you’re about to fall over. Go take care of yourself. I’ll still be here when you get back.”
Spencer hesitated, his eyes searching yours for a moment before he finally relented with a sigh. “Fine. But I’m coming back as soon as I can.”
You smiled. “I’d expect nothing less.”
Hotch stepped aside as Spencer reluctantly stood, his movements slow and stiff. He leaned down, pressing a soft kiss to your forehead before straightening up and heading for the door.
Once he was gone, Hotch moved closer to your bed. “He didn’t leave your side the entire time,” he said quietly. “Not even when the medical team told him to.”
You felt a lump form in your throat, but you swallowed it down, nodding. “I know.”
Hotch studied you for a moment, his expression unreadable. “You’re important to him. To all of us. Take care of yourself.”
You smiled faintly. “I will. Thanks, Hotch.”
He nodded once, his usual stoic demeanor returning. “Get some rest. I’ll be outside if you need anything.”
As he left the room, you leaned back against the pillows, letting out a long breath, as you fell asleep once again.
And when Spencer returned an hour later, looking significantly more put together and carrying a cup of coffee for you (decaf, because he insisted), you couldn’t help but smile.
“Miss me?” he asked, setting the coffee on the table beside your bed.
“Always,” you said, reaching for his hand.
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thinkinonsense · 4 months ago
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Rotten
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dofp!logan howlett x fem!reader
cw: boot riding, dom!logan, spitting, slight hair pulling, bratty!reader
a/n: something short for now but the semester is over after next week so all december expect more frequent posts from me. gonna focus on the bewitched and sweet temptations mini series plus the new one im working on with worst!logan x camgirl/of fem!reader :)
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"i only got a few more papers to grade, princess."
one of the greatest lies ever told, you think to yourself as you sit on logan's lap while he grades essays. two hours turn into four and before you know it, half the night is gone already.
"c'mon baby..." you whine, kissing his neck and leaving little marks, then watching them disappear. "the rest can wait until tomorrow."
deep down logan almost feels bad but he can feel you softly rubbing your pretty blue lace panties on his thigh.
"told ya' only got a couple left to grade then im yours." he says, paying little attention to you as possible.
a sigh of annoyance escapes your lips. slowly you rock yourself back and forth to gain some sort of pleasure from him.
"quit it, sweetheart." logan says sternly, smacking your ass rather roughly.
"fine." you huff, rolling your eyes over his shoulder.
a beat passes before you slowly kiss your way down his body, leaving a glossy trail down his abdomen and v-line until you're settled on the ground in between his thighs under the desk.
logan tries his best to ignore you. he really does but god, it's so hard when you are resting your head on his lap, inches from his bulge.
"what are ya' doing down there?" he asks, raising an eyebrow down at you. sweet doe eyed angel, peering up at him as if it were nothing.
"just resting here until you're ready." you said, biting back the smirk daring to appear.
he's not sure why he trusted you to keep your word. especially when he's spoiled you rotten over the years, always giving into your needs.
steadily, you wrap yourself around his left leg and take a seat on the front of his leather boot. cheek pressed against the inside of his thigh as you resume your grinding from moments ago.
"fuck lo..." you moan, sinking your nails into the material of his jeans; grabbing fist fulls near his calf.
a small puddle of slick leaks from your panties onto the leather, making it easier to move. quickly, you remove the lace and sit your bare core on his boot. a loud moan spills from your lips at the feel of cool leather on your clit.
"f-feels so, ahh!"
logan watches your head tip back, too fucked out to be care about how much of a mess you were making on his shoe. the essays were long forgotten by now, instead he is busy watching you attempt to get off.
"tell me how it feels, princess." logan says, big rough hand gripping your jaw. his hazel eyes were now unrecognizable, dark and blown out with lust for you. "that bratty cunt of yours is just weeping for me, huh?"
"yes, lo! it's s-so fucking good." you struggle to keep eye contact with him, which only spurs him on further into this game. "need you to fuck me, lo. please, wanna ride you."
logan tsks, shaking his head and leaning in to rest his arms on his thighs. inches away from your pretty face.
"rotten girls don't get to ride."
without warning, logan begins to tap his foot up and now. the front rubbing your button just right. soft bounces and lewd noises flood logan's bedroom.
under his cold looking exterior, logan was struggling inside the dark denim covering his large bulge. truth be told, he was enjoying this almost as much as you were. the sight of your slightly parted lips and scrunched eyebrows were prettier than any painting he had ever seen.
"such a messy pussy." he mocks, moving his foot faster, allowing for more of your pretty moans to escape you. "gonna tarnish the leather, sweetheart."
"uh... uh fuck..." you gasp, squeezing your eyes shut. " 'm s-so close!"
logan's lucky that you aren't the one with claws, considering how deep you are digging your nails into his legs while humping his boot pathetically chasing your high.
without warning, he taps your cheek signaling you to open your mouth. half expecting him to place the pad of his thumb on your tongue but pleasantly surprised by the string of spit connecting the two of you.
the kiss is almost as messy as the scene below you. all teeth and tongue. oxytocin fills the room as you reach your high, moaning in logan's mouth and gushing all over his poor boot.
when the two of you finally pull apart, logan can't help but take in the image in front of him of you clinging to his leg with a hazy stare, and glossy kiss bitten lips.
"finally gonna fuck me?" you giggle as he pulls you back into his lap.
"maybe." he hums, rubbing his hand up and down you back. "seems like someone is pretty spoiled though."
in a split second, logan's got a fist full of your hair wrapped around his rough palm, tipping your head to the side so he can leave marks on your neck.
"it's not my fault, lo." you pout, slipping your fingers under his shirt.
"i know, baby. i know." he chuckles to himself before lifting you over to the mattress and laying you flat on your stomach with your ass in the air, waiting for him.
it's going to be a long night.
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reidsfilm · 7 months ago
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LIKE A GODDAMN PRAYER — LOGAN HOWLETT
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WARNINGS: SMUT!!! (18+) age-gap (the reader is over 18+) p in v (wrap it up peeps) dirty talk, soft dom! logan, has no plot whatsoever, just straight-up filth petnames: baby, sweetheart, angel, darling, etc. fluff at the end. a tad bit of degarding.
WORD COUNT : 2k
Notes: i'm just now realizing how hot hugh jackman is.
Logan Howlett who swore he wouldn't stain a beautiful thing like you. With your sweet smiles, wide eyes, and flushed apple cheeks. He wouldn't, but the allure of you was too tempting.
And a visit to give him a basket of cookies led to something that couldn't be erased. But now, he wasn't sure if he wanted it removed at all.
Here you were, laying sprawled out underneath him, clothes strewn in piles on the floor, only a pair of white lacy panties covering your sweet pussy. God, it made his boxers feel all the tighter like they were suffocating him, literally and figuratively.
''Look at you... so pretty for me, huh?'' He cooed as his large and rough hand came up to grope at your tits, watching as they spilled between the gaps of his fingers. His eyes darkened further at the sight. A whiny moan left your lips as you wriggled underneath him, pushing your chest up, seeking more.
''S'okay... I got you. Gonna make you feel real good, darlin'.'' And you could only manage a whine, unable to form any words, your tongue feeling heavy in your mouth. Logan tsked at you, head tilting to the side as he looked at you, eyes flickering from your flushed chest back up to your face, ''Haven't even fucked you yet, and your already going dumb?''
You nodded, slotting your bottom lip between your teeth, and Logan practically growled at the sight as his hand moved down, caressing your ribs, over your stomach, fingertips grazing against your belly button before moving lower.
Your breath hitched as he teased at the waistband of your panties, not quite going further and that made you only feel more desperate, and needy. ''These are cute. Did you wear them on purpose?'' He questioned, snapping it against your skin and eliciting a moan from your lips. ''Answer me, pretty angel.''
The nicknames were doing nothing to help the ache between your legs, instinctively making you rub your thighs together. ''Y-Yeah...'' You replied and he hummed.
''Can I take 'em off?'' And you wasted no time in nodding, bobbing your head up and down. God if you weren't so deeply rooted in this, you would've found yourself pathetic. And maybe you were, but you couldn't care less. You just wanted him. Like he was the answer to all your prayers. Someone you wouldn't think twice about listening to or worshipping.
You were a hundred percent sure this man was a God.
''Yeah, yeah please.'' You were quick to say and Logan didn't need more confirmation than that before he shuffled down a bit. His large hands planted on each side of your hips, ''Lift your hips f'me.'' And you did as he said, lifting up a bit from the soft mattress and allowing him to grip onto the material, dragging it down.
And he did it, oh so slowly. Tease.
''Logan...'' You whined as you watched him, how he kept those hazel eyes locked on your own pair as he tugged them down. ''Patience is a virtue.'' And you wanted to roll your eyes at the words as if you hadn't heard those before. You weren't in the mood for patience, not at all.
You just wanted him to fuck you until you could barely think straight.
''I'm not a patient person.'' You muttered as he slid them down to your ankles, before tossing them somewhere on the floor. His eyes met yours once more, ''Figures.'' He chuckles as he moves closer, grabbing underneath your thighs, and spreading your legs.
His eyes feast upon the sight of your glistening and awaiting pussy. His hazel eyes darken a tad as he takes you in. The prettiest thing he's ever laid his eyes upon, and he almost feels ashamed for a split second. A man like him, who's brutal and lives within the darkness of his life, seeing something so eternal like you, it feels illegal.
Like you a forbidden fruit he shouldn't even have laid eyes on to begin with. But your voice pulls him from the depths of his mind.
''Something wrong? Am I not—'' He doesn't even let you finish your sentence, because god forbid something as angelic as you get to be insecure about yourself. ''No... no no. Just admiring the pretty sight laid before me.''
And you blush at his words, biting your lip. ''Yeah? Well if it's such a pretty sight, fuck me.'' You tried to sound confident, you really did. But the crack in your voice, the obvious desire yet nervousness was extremely evident.
And Logan was quick to catch onto it, a smirk gracing his lips, spurring the man on leaving any regret or anything like that behind as he dragged you closer to him by your thighs, making you let out a small squeal. ''Oh, I'll fuck you. Gonna make this pussy sing, yeah?''
He had a silver tongue on him, that's for sure. And it only made you wetter, if that was even possible. His hand slid down between your legs, making you shiver as his thick fingers inched closer to where you needed him most. And you spread your legs wider, opening up more for him.
Logan's rough, calloused fingers brushed against your slick folds, feeling the heat radiating from your core. He groaned at the sensation, his own desire rising rapidly. "Fuck, you're so wet for me already, darlin'," he growled, his voice thick with lust.
You whimpered, arching your back as Logan's fingers teased your entrance, not quite entering you but applying delicious pressure. "Please, Logan," you pleaded, your voice breathy and needy. "I need you."
Logan chuckled darkly, his eyes smoldering as he took in the sight of you sprawled out before him, your body on display, your breasts heaving with each shallow breath.
Logan's fingers continued their torturous teasing, circling your entrance without delving inside. He leaned down, his stubble grazing against the sensitive skin of your inner thighs as he pressed open-mouthed kisses along your legs.
"Patience, sweetheart," he murmured against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers up your spine. "I wanna savor this moment with you. Make it good for you."
You whined, your hands fisting in the sheets beneath you as you tried to arch into Logan's touch. "Logan, please," you begged, your voice high and desperate. "I can't take it anymore. I need you inside me."
Logan hummed, the vibrations traveling through your body. "So impatient," he chided, but there was no real disapproval in his tone. "Alright, darlin', I'll give you what you want."
He got to removing his boxers, and you swore your eyes were about to pop out of their sockets at the sight of him. His cock was so thick, fat, and decorated with veins. He was definitely a god, no going back on that now.
He shifted, positioning himself between your spread legs. You could feel the heat radiating off his body, could see the hunger in his eyes as he looked down at you. "You're fuckin' beautiful like this," he said, his voice low and rough. "Spread out for me, so eager for my cock."
You blushed at his words, but the embarrassment was quickly overshadowed by the desire coursing through your veins. You needed him, needed to feel him inside you, needed to be filled and stretched and claimed by this man who had captured your heart, soul, and body.
Logan reached down, grasping his hard length in his hand. He stroked himself a few times, his eyes never leaving your face. "You ready for me, baby?" he asked, his thumb swiping over the sensitive head of his cock, spreading the bead of pre-cum that had gathered there.
You nodded frantically, your body trembling with anticipation. "Yes," you breathed. "God, yes, Logan. Please, just fuck me already."
Logan chuckled, positioning himself at your entrance. "As you wish," he said, and then he was pushing forward, his thick length sliding into your slick heat inch by inch.
You cried out, your head falling back against the pillow as you felt Logan fill you up. He was so big, stretching you most deliciously, and you could feel every ridge and vein of his cock as he sank deeper and deeper inside you.
Logan groaned as he felt your tight warm heat envelop him, your walls clenching around his shaft as he bottomed out inside you. "Fuck, darlin'," he grunted, his hips stilling for a moment as he savored the sensation. "You're so fuckin' tight."
You whimpered beneath him, your hands coming up to grip his shoulders, your nails digging into his skin. "Logan," you gasped, your hips rocking slightly as you adjusted to his size. "You're so big. I can feel you everywhere."
Logan chuckled breathlessly, his forehead pressing against yours as he began to move, pulling out slowly before thrusting back in. "That's it, baby," he encouraged, his voice low and rough. "Take my cock. Fuck, you feel so good."
You moaned, your head falling back against the pillow as Logan set a steady rhythm, his hips snapping forward in a way that had him hitting that sweet spot deep inside you with every thrust. "Yes, just like that," you gasped, your legs wrapping around his waist, urging him deeper.
Logan groaned, his hands gripping your hips hard enough to leave bruises as he increased his pace, driving into you harder and faster. The room filled with the sounds of your bodies coming together, the slap of skin on skin, your labored breaths, and needy moans.
"Fuck, I'm not gonna last," Logan grunted, his thrusts becoming erratic as he felt his orgasm building. "You feel too fuckin' good, darlin'. Gonna fill this pretty pussy up."
You cried out, your body tensing as you felt your own release approaching. "Yes, Logan, yes," you chanted, your nails raking down his back. "Come inside me. I want to feel you come."
With a final, brutal thrust, Logan buried himself deep inside you, his cock pulsing as he spilled his cum into your awaiting womb. You screamed, your body shaking as your own orgasm crashed over you, your walls clamping down around Logan's shaft, milking him for every last drop.
You stayed like that for a moment, Logan's weight pressing down on you as you both struggled to catch your breath. Finally, he rolled off of you, pulling you into his arms and holding you close.
"That was...'' Logan trailed off, large hand caressing against your back.
''Amazing.'' You finished the sentence for him, head snuggling up against his chest, his chest hair tickling against your cheek. Your legs were still twitching, spasming at the aftershocks of your orgasm.
Logan's chest rumbled with a chuckle, his arm tightening around you as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. "Yeah, it was," he agreed, his voice a low, satisfied growl. "You're amazing. Fuckin' incredible."
You felt yourself blush at his words, a shy smile tugging at your lips. "You're not so bad yourself," you teased, tilting your head up to press a soft kiss to his jaw. "For an old man."
Logan scoffed, his hand coming up to tickle your side. "Old man? I'll show you who's an old man," he threatened, his eyes glinting with mischief. "I can go again, you know. And again, and again."
You giggled, squirming in his arms as his fingers danced over your ribs. "I'm sure you can," you said, your voice breathless with laughter. "But I think I need a break first. You kind of wrecked me."
Logan's expression softened, his hand stilling on your skin. "Sorry, darlin'," he murmured, his thumb brushing over your cheek. "I didn't mean to be too rough."
You shook your head, reaching up to cover his hand with your own. "No, it was perfect," you assured him, your eyes locking with his. "I loved every second of it."
Logan's gaze searched your face for a moment as if trying to determine the truth of your words. Whatever he saw there seemed to satisfy him, because he leaned down and captured your lips in a slow, deep kiss.
When he pulled back, his eyes were warm and soft, a rare vulnerability shining through. "You're something else, angel," he said, his voice low and sincere. "I don't know what I did to deserve you, but I'm fuckin' grateful for it."
Your heart swelled at his words, your own eyes growing misty with emotion. "I'm the lucky one," you whispered, your hand coming up to cup his cheek.
And you were, having a man such as himself, making you reach heights you never thought you would, says a lot. And you'd seek him out more, eager and needing more of him.
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downbad4sylus · 2 months ago
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“Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
synopsis: You and Sylus visit a coffee shop and unexpectedly run into Doctor Zayne.
content: sylus x afab!reader; reader is MC; use of Y/N; pre-relationship; zayne cameo; just, so much fluff; mostly proofread
word count: ~2k
a/n: see guys, i’m capable of writing not-angst. also can you tell i have a headcanon about them holding hands while linked or what lol. anyway, i love exploring the dynamics of sylus with the other LIs, i have another one brewing ft. our resident doctor (NOT ANGST) and i’ll probably do some with the others in the future. if anyone has anything they want me try and write for them, please feel free to ask, im happy to do so :)
Dragging Sylus out in Linkon City during the day was never easy, but when a certain energy linkage was keeping you locked to each other’s sides and you just had to have your morning coffee, Sylus was a bit more agreeable.
So there you both stood, waiting in line to order. You’d developed a bit of a habit of holding hands as you’d long since grown used to the linkage binding your wrists. Sylus’s hand dwarfed yours, something that took time to get accustomed to, but now the feeling of his fingers laced with yours was a comfort, and admittedly something you often craved without the linkage.
“Will you let me pay for you this time?” you asked Sylus, peering up at him.
He breathed a low chuckle. “Don’t think so, sweetie,” he replied.
“You never let me pay for anything,” you grumbled.
“What was that?”
“Nothing!”
You tugged Sylus along as you stepped up to the cashier. After placing both your orders (and begrudgingly allowing Sylus to pay), you waited off to the side for your names to be called.
“I’d like to go for a walk after this, if that’s okay,” you said to Sylus. It was overcast today, weather Sylus was more comfortable to be in during the day, you’d noticed.
“That’s fine,” Sylus said. “Where would you like to go?”
You beamed at him. “Actually, there’s a park not far from here, and since the leaves are starting to turn the scenery should be perfect for a—”
“Y/N?”
You whirled around at the sound of your name, spoken by an all too familiar voice.
“Zayne?”
Sure enough, there was your primary care physician, standing with his brow slightly furrowed and his gaze locked on yours and Sylus’s intertwined hands.
“I wasn’t expecting to run into you here,” you commented, drawing his attention from your hand to your eyes.
“This coffee shop isn’t far from the hospital, I stop here in the mornings quite often,” Zayne said. His hazel eyes flicked to Sylus. “Aren’t you going to introduce us?”
“Oh!” you exclaimed. “Right, Doctor Zayne this is Sy—uh, Skye, he’s…” you trailed off, panic seizing your mind as you fumbled for any explanation as to why you were here with Sylus, holding his hand, that wasn’t the actual truth.
“Her boyfriend,” Sylus lied smoothly, sticking out his unoccupied hand at Zayne. “It’s nice to finally meet you, doctor, Y/N’s told me a lot about you.”
You missed the nearly imperceptible flare of Zayne’s eyes at Sylus’s answer, too busy short circuiting over the fact that Sylus had just introduced himself as your boyfriend. When had you gone from “besties” to “boyfriend?”
“Nice to meet you too,” Zayne said politely, shaking Sylus’s hand. “Y/N, you never told me you were seeing someone.”
Sylus laughed. “We only just became official.”
You finally managed to regain your composure. “Right, and I haven’t been by for an appointment since then, otherwise I would’ve told you,” you said, bolstering the lie.
Zayne nodded, as if satisfied by your answers. “Well, then I suppose congratulations are in order.”
“Oh, Zayne please, that’s not necessary,” you insisted. A barista called for your orders, which Sylus grabbed and handed to you before taking his own. “Zayne, why don’t you come sit with us? Unless you have important doctor business to take care of.”
Zayne’s lips tilted ever so slightly at your teasing remark. “Sure, I have some time before I have to get back.”
Once Zayne received his coffee, the three of you found an unoccupied table and sat, with you and Sylus on one side, hands still clasped, and Zayne on the other.
“So, how long have you two been seeing each other?” Zayne asked with clinical precision, his stare just as sharp.
“Quite a few months now,” Sylus said. His bright red eyes focused on you. “Y/N practically fell on my doorstep, and I guess you could say the rest is history.”
You snorted, though your cheeks were as red as Sylus’s eyes. “That’s one way to describe it,” you muttered.
“What, sweetie? Would you explain it differently?” Sylus asked, raising a brow.
You shook your head. “No, yours was fine,” you quipped.
“How kind,” Sylus drawled.
You glanced at Zayne and found him watching the two of you with his head tilted. Mirth danced in his hazel eyes, as if observing the “happy couple” was amusing.
“How’s work been, Doctor Zayne?” you asked.
“Fine, the usual,” he answered. “And you? Any injuries you haven’t told me about either?”
“No,” you said firmly. “I’ve been very careful.”
Zayne’s lips curled. “I have a hard time believing that. Skye, has our Hunter been careful lately?”
Sylus’s fingers twitched around yours but his expression didn’t falter. “To everyone’s surprise, she has. No secret injuries to report.”
Zayne made a satisfied hum. “What do you do for work Skye?”
You stiffened. Nothing caused you more anxiety than when someone asked Sylus too many questions. He was a practiced smooth talker, able to craft a believable lie without a second thought, but you still couldn’t help worrying. The last thing you wanted was for him to be recognized, for him to be taken away from you.
Sylus rubbed his thumb along yours soothingly. “I own a few small businesses here and there,” he told the doctor.
“He runs a fruit stall!” you chimed in excitedly.
“That’s one of the few,” Sylus chuckled.
“I had some of his watermelon once at a work function he happened to be catering,” you continued. The very same work function Sylus had called you “besties.” Sylus really was your best friend though, you realized so suddenly your heart practically skipped a beat.
“Well, I’m glad that business is good then,” Zayne said.
You and Zayne then slipped into a casual conversation, catching up on the recent happenings in each other’s lives, while Sylus remained more of a quiet observer.
Actually, Sylus was debating on whether or not to kill (or seriously maim) your primary care physician.
Sylus would never admit to being jealous, but his chest tightened watching you speak to the doctor, hearing the way you laughed at his eerily similar dry humor. He knew you’d been childhood friends and had a long history, but it certainly didn’t help that the way Zayne looked at you was the exact same way Sylus looked at you. And he hadn’t missed the flash of longing in Zayne’s eyes when he’d first spotted your clasped hands at the counter. It was why Sylus had gone out of his way to introduce himself as your boyfriend, even if it meant speeding up his timeline with you a little.
However, Sylus couldn’t deny that Zayne’s role as your primary care physician was an important one, crucial even. He was a renowned cardiac surgeon and an expert in Protocore Syndrome, making him perhaps the only person equipped to help with your heart condition. So Sylus would let him live, because you would be upset with him if he didn’t, and because he was a valuable asset.
Finishing the last of his coffee, Zayne flipped his wrist, checking the time on his watch. “I’m afraid I have to get going now, my break is almost over,” he declared, rising from his seat. “It was nice meeting you Skye, and I’ll see you for your next check up soon, Y/N. No getting hurt in the meantime, okay?”
“Hey! I told you I was being careful!” you exclaimed.
Zayne gave Sylus a withering look. “It’s good to know there’s someone else who understands Y/N’s penchant for danger.”
Sylus recognized the comment for what it was, a white flag thrown at his feet.
Brow cocked and mouth tilted, Sylus picked it up. “Her recklessness knows no bounds.”
“Since when did this become a gang-up-on-Y/N session?” you questioned.
Both Zayne and Sylus chuckled.
“Thank you for the invitation,” Zayne said. “I’m sure we’ll run into each other again.”
“I’m sure,” Sylus replied.
“It was nice seeing you Doctor Zayne!” you called after him as he swiftly took his leave.
You and Sylus left shortly thereafter, going to the park you had mentioned to walk amongst the multicolored trees. The linkage dissipated on the way over, but Sylus never let go of your hand.
And now alone with him, your thoughts spiraled.
You couldn’t deny that you had feelings for him, you had for quite a while. You two had been spending a lot of time together recently, whether it was you frequenting Onychinus’s base and ruining your sleep schedule, or him staying over at your apartment and ruining his sleep schedule. But even so, you weren’t sure if Sylus felt the same about you, and now that he’d so casually introduced himself as your boyfriend, you didn’t know what to think.
“I think I see steam coming out of your ears, sweetie.”
You whipped your head toward him. “Why would you say that?”
He smirked. “You’re thinking very loudly. Tell me, what is it?”
It was hard to deny him when he spoke so softly, something he reserved for you and you alone.
“Why did you say you were my boyfriend?” you asked quietly, averting your gaze.
“Because it was easier than explaining our actual relationship,” Sylus said simply.
“And what, exactly, is our actual relationship?”
His brow quirked. “I was under the impression we were something far more than just boyfriend and girlfriend, unless I’ve misread the situation.”
You pulled him to a stop, gaping at him. “Are you being serious right now?”
“Of course I’m being serious, when have I ever not been?” Sylus tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “Have I misread the situation, sweetie?”
It was rare to see Sylus nervous, if that was what you could call it.
You shook your head. “No, I just—I had no idea you felt that way.”
Sylus huffed. “Y/N, I told you that I adore you, that there is no love purer than mine, what else could I have meant by that?”
“I don’t know,” you murmured.
He brought your entwined hands up to his lips, kissing the back of yours. “Talk to me, kitten.”
“Are you saying you love me?” you blurted.
Sylus grinned. “I am,” he said.
“Then say it,” you demanded.
He tugged your hand and you fell into his chest. His free hand threaded into your hair and tilted your head up to look at him, into those mesmerizing red eyes.
“I love you, Y/N,” he said, his deep voice so tender it made your heart flutter.
“Sylus,” you breathed. You reached up and cupped his cheek, tears welling in your eyes. “I love you too.”
He huffed a disbelieving chuckle before pressing the most gentle kiss to your forehead. “We should’ve run into your doctor sooner,” he murmured against your skin.
You reared back, slapping his chest. “Don’t ruin our moment!”
Sylus only laughed in response.
Finally letting go of your hand, he wrapped his arm around your waist and pulled you impossibly closer. Your own arms twined around his neck, stretching on your tip toes to better maintain eye contact.
“So where does this leave us?” you asked.
Sylus shrugged a shoulder. “Where do you want it to leave us?”
You smiled. “Well, I guess you’re my boyfriend now, even though you never formally asked me to be your girlfriend.”
His lips twitched. “Would you like me to perform a grand gesture?”
“I wouldn’t be opposed to it.”
“All right, kitten, then I hope you look forward to it.”
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prythianpages · 8 months ago
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But the Worms | Azriel
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Azriel x Green Witch | Azriel is woken up by your daughter in the middle of the night to answer some of her questions.
warnings: fluff, dad Az
word count: 943
a/n: Just a short little fic that can be read as a stand alone. This was inspired by a scene from Bob's Burgers lol.
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Rain pattered against the window steadily, accompanied by the distant rumble of thunder. Every so often, the sky would flare with a jagged streak of lightning, briefly illuminating the room with a cold, blue light before plunging it back into shadow. The storm was a familiar, comforting backdrop to Azriel’s slumber.
But his shadows, ever vigilant, stirred with a whisper of unease.
Azriel’s eyes fluttered open, drawn by the shift in his shadows. That’s when he heard them. The faint, hurried sound of small footsteps. His shadows fluttered toward the door as they sensed the hesitant shuffle against the wooden floor.
He didn't need his shadows to tell him who was on the other side. Had it been his first born, he'd never hear the steps as she loved to sneak up on him,. The door would've been open abruptly with no hesitation whatsoever but it's been years since she last had a nightmare. A nightmare she didn't welcome, at least.
That was not the case tonight. It was his second-born. Sweet little Alora, who, true to her name, should be dreaming of unicorns and rainbows as she loved to recount to him every morning, rather than being awake.
His gaze flickered to you. While Azriel was a light sleeper, you were a heavy sleeper and truth be told, you were sound asleep, back turned toward him. A shadow tenderly caressed your back before he shifted his attention back to the door. He was already sitting up in the bed, blinking away the sleep or at least trying when the door opened quietly, muted with the help of his shadows.
Alora stood at the door. Her hair, the exact shade of yours, was disheveled, the bangs she cut herself last week splayed over her forehead awkwardly. A rite of passage, you had called it, reminding him that your first born had done the same.
Her eyes, the exact shade of his, were wide and glistening, and there was a pout on her face.
Azriel’s chest tightened at the sight, wanting nothing more than to soothe whatever troubled her, despite his fatigue. He extended his arms out, and Alora ran right into them, her small frame immediately enveloped by his.
Cradling her to his chest, he pushed her bangs back and pressed a gentle kiss to her temple. “Did you have a nightmare?” He asked, voice still heavy with sleep.
“No. I haven’t slept at all,” she whispered, her voice trembling slightly.
Azriel frowned, glancing at the clock. It was well past midnight, and his eyes were begging for sleep, lulled by the rain falling outside. “Is it the storm?”
Alora placed her hands on his chest, pushing herself up slightly. She spared a glance to your sleeping form before leaning in closer to her father, careful not to wake you with her voice. Though, Azriel doubted you'd wake at all.
Her hazel eyes, so innocent and pure, stared into his own. “Do you think worms have dreams too?”
Azriel's heart softened further. Her worries were so small, so wonderfully trivial compared to the burdens he had carried as a child.
“I’m sure they dream,” he murmured, gently pulling his daughter's head back to his chest, wishing for her to always have such simple worries. He also hoped she’d be content with his answer and finally drift off to sleep herself.
“But what do they dream?”
“The same things you do.” He replied, trying to stifle a yawn. He snuck a glance at you, still oblivious to your daughter’s insatiable curiosity.
“Do they get nightmares too?” 
Azriel fought back his groan. He loved his daughters deeply and strongly. He would go through all ends of the world for them. Any other time, he would entertain this conversation fully, but it was late, and Alora should be fast asleep like her sister. 
“Mel says worms come out when it storms so that we don’t hear their cries.”
Speak of the little devil herself. Mel was sure to get an earful from him. Tomorrow morning, or rather, in a couple of hours. Azriel took a deep breath, trying to muster the energy to explain, his body aching for rest.
Azriel could hear the thoughts swirling through her mind as she continued. “Why would they cry? Is it because of the bad dreams?”
“Don’t listen to your sister,” he said gently, running a hand through Alora’s tousled hair.
“But you told me to listen to her yesterday morning.”
“I did,” Azriel replied with a slight grimace, regretting that decision immensely at this very moment. Granted, he had said that after Mel told Lor to stop riling up Sprinkles, her pet scorpion. “But that’s different.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ll explain tomorrow,” he said, his voice a mix of patience and weariness.
“But the worms–”
“The worms don’t have nightmares and they come out during storms because they love the rain. Now, go to sleep. Please.”
Alora let out a small gasp, her hand losing its tension against his chest. “You promise?”
“Yes.” Azriel replied quickly, not certain what exactly he was promising. He'd deal with it later.
“Okay.”
When he finally felt her body relax in his arms, he let out a breath of relief. He held her tighter in his arms, shifting them to face in your direction before settling Alora between you both. He didn’t have the energy to take her back to her bed.
He gladly gave in to the heaviness of his eyelids, his eyes closing shut and ready to embrace sleep under the comfort of the rain once more--
"Daddy?"
He didn't bother opening his eyes. "Yes?"
"I love you."
His lips tugged up into a smile. "I love you too, my sweets."
Alora snuggled closer to him, tiny hands grasping onto his larger one and placing it over her face. She always found comfort in his touch, despite the scars that marred his hands. It was something that never failed to make his chest swell with warmth. Along with the way both his daughters always looked up to him, eyes full of affection and admiration.
His thumb caressed her cheek, soothing her as his shadows settled back into their corner of the room, curling into the bed Alora had gotten them for Solstice this year.
For centuries, his shadows had slept among other shadows, usually underneath the bed or in the corners of rooms. But Alora had felt bad for them one night, and when shopping for Solstice this year, she had asked you to take her to the pet store and picked out the softest bed for Azriel’s shadows.
Though his shadows had never complained or shown any interest in comfier sleeping habits, they had vibrated with excitement at the sight of the gift. Now, they slept there every night, happy and content, snuggling amongst one another and curling into a ball.
As his thoughts began to blur and drift, the world around him softened, the edges of his awareness becoming fuzzy and indistinct. Now that he knew your daughter was okay and her curiosity satiated, he could go back to sleep.
His breathing slowed, deep and even, matching the gentle rise and fall of your own breath. Just as he was about to give in to the sweet embrace of sleep–
“Daddy?”
He could barely manage a grunt in response.
“Would you still love me if I were a worm?”
Oh, this was definitely your daughter.
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series tag list:@fxckmiup, @aria-chikage
General tag list: @scooobies, @kennedy-brooke, @sillysillygoose444, @lilah-asteria @the-sweet-psycho
@daycourtofficial, @milswrites, @stormhearty, @pit-and-the-pen, @mybestfriendmademe
@loving-and-dreaming @azriels-human, @mrsjna
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nereidprinc3ss · 1 year ago
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relax
in which spencer helps university student reader de-stress after a particularly exhausting assignment
18+ (smut) warnings: fingering, overstimulation, happy crying, lowkey softdom spencer, slight d/s dynamics, reader is referred to as a girl, ????idk i've never had to tag for smut before lols wc: 2624 a/n: been doing some insane literary cooking. lots of smut AND more fluff in the works (all uni reader... lol... ). idk if i love this but again need to fucking get it out of my word doc so here u go, PLEASE lmk if you like it!!
You don’t even realize the room has gone completely dark until Spencer comes in the front door and flicks on the light. 
“Why did you do that?” you snap immediately, looking up from your laptop screen for the first time in potentially hours, blinking hard as your eyes painfully adjust. Your boyfriend gives you an odd look. 
“Hello to you too...” 
“I’m sorry. Hi. How was dinner?” 
“It was good,” he says, crossing the room to the couch that has been your entire world for the past five hours. You sigh, releasing some of the tension in your shoulders when he leans down to kiss your head and set down a to-go box on the coffee table. “Have you moved since I left?” 
“...no,” you admit, moving your eyes dejectedly to the keyboard.  
“You made progress,” he appeases, leaning over you to angle the laptop upward. Immediately you wrench it away, holding it protectively against your chest. 
��Stop! I don’t want you to read it yet!” 
“I could help you with it though,” he pleads, bracing a hand on the arm of the couch. You look up into his hazel eyes, where he’s definitely playing up the puppy dog factor. His tie brushes your stomach, and he smells like lavender and clove and-- 
“You need to go away,” you realize, snapping back to reality and shrinking into the couch, away from him—trying to escape his all-encompassing sensory presence.  
“Wh- I just got back!” he scoffs, straightening. 
“You’re distracting me,” you accuse, throwing him a baleful look. 
“I’m literally offering to help you.” 
“And I’m respectfully declining because I care too much about your opinion to show you this essay until it’s less terrible. I really just need a couple more hours to finish it, please?” 
Spencer sighs, regarding your pitiful state before moving to sit down next to you. Automatically you move your legs out of the way before settling them in his lap and damn it he’s supposed to be going away. Your iron grip on the laptop involuntarily loosens a little as his hands begin to run back and forth over your legs. No—you must stay focused.  
“Spencer,” you whine, flopping your head back. You let the implied complaint hang in the air. 
“You’ve been writing all day. Your brain is exhausted, and your synapses aren’t firing at a rate that is intellectually productive.” 
“What is the point of having a brain if I can’t even use it half the time!” you almost-shout, pressing the palms of your hands into your eyes until you see fireworks.  
The couch shifts and you feel the warm, robotic weight of the laptop unpin you as Spencer lifts it from your lap. “Don’t read it,” you beg, watching through parted fingers as he sets it on the coffee table, and relaxing slightly when he settles back into the couch.  
“Come here,” he says, holding out an arm. Too mentally exhausted to do anything but comply, you pull yourself up just enough to fall into him. Immediately he wraps his arms around you, one hand slipping under your shirt to rub your back in hypnotizing passes. “I think you burnt yourself out,” he mutters. 
You nod into his shoulder, surrendering yourself to his warmth, letting yourself sink into a lavender-clove fog, wanting nothing more than to dissolve into it. The darkness behind your eyes glows an inviting amber, threatening to pull you under...  
But the essay... 
“Stop thinking about the essay,” he demands. 
“But I have so much to do,” you sigh against his jacket, the words coming out muffled. 
“The best thing you can do now is give your brain a rest. I promise you you’re not making that paper any better if you’re exhausted.” 
“I am not exhausted,” you insist, although your eyes are still closed, “I’m just really stressed.”  
Spencer hums, continuing to rub your back.  
“Do you need me to help you relax?” he says innocently. 
Oh? 
One of your eyes opens to peer up at him suspiciously. He sweeps some of your hair out of your face. 
“Because I would be happy to.” A moment passes—him looking down at you fondly; you wondering if you’re picking up what he’s putting down. 
“And how would you go about doing that?” you ask suspiciously. 
“Orgasms reduce tension and stress and improve brain function.” 
Damn. Why did the nerdiest, most un-sexy pickup line ever just turn you on?
You groan, burying your face further into his shirt—mostly to hide any trace of a blush. 
“You know what else would reduce stress and improve brain functioning? Taking an Adderall and finishing my fucking essay.”  
“Angel, you're such a smart girl, and you are fully capable of doing whatever you set your mind to—but I will lock your laptop in my gun safe before I let you look at that essay again tonight.” He speaks so softly, and his fingers are still gently combing through your messy hair... all in all, you put up a good fight, right? Maybe you should just listen to him...
“... fine.” you say eventually, reluctant to give in too quickly even though the idea quickly has filled your stomach with butterflies. 
“Fine?” he says, pausing his motions as you turn your head just enough to look up at him. “Sounds like you don’t really want it, baby. Maybe we should just go to sleep. Or I could take you back to your-” 
“Spence,” you whine, gently grabbing the front of his shirt. Now he’s going to make you beg? As if it wasn’t his idea? Those puppy dog eyes of his are deceiving. 
“You’re gonna have to do better than that,” he sighs, hand moving from your hair to your outer thigh. 
“Please?” you whisper, dignity forgotten as you look up at him imploringly. 
“Lean back, sweet girl,” he says, helping you adjust your position til you’re lying against his chest, legs sprawled across the couch. Your head lolls on his shoulder, intoxicated by his close proximity. “Perfect. Such a good listener.” 
Normally, you’d be quick to make a defensive remark, but with the way he’s slowly hiking your shirt up, running his hands over your sides so lightly it gives you goosebumps—you're really in no position to argue. Your eyes flutter shut as his hands grow bolder in their explorations, crossing your stomach, fingers just slipping under the waistband of your shorts and skimming over your hipbones before coming back up. 
“Does that feel good?” he murmurs, and you nod lazily, apparently losing access to your language facilities after running them dry all day. Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem good enough for your boyfriend. “Do you remember when the last time I touched you like this was?” 
Through the hazy blur of your exhaustion, you try to think back. Was it... two days ago? Three? More? 
“Almost a week ago,” he supplies the answer for you when you take too long. What? That can’t be right. 
But when you think about it harder... it is right. It was right before finals week started.  
An errant hand straying up your torso distracts you. “Do you remember what I did?” 
You flush. 
“You... yeah,” is the best you can offer, too flustered to say exactly what he did to your body. That stray hand moves over your breast. Your back arches just slightly at the stimulation through the thin fabric of your bra.  
Thankfully, he lets you off the hook.  
“I made you cum three times, right?” 
“Mhm,” you hum through closed lips, tense with anticipation as he finally slides both hands down to your shorts and wordlessly directs you to lift your hips so he can pull them all the way off along with your underwear. 
“You’ve been so busy lately, huh. Working so hard.” 
You unconsciously drop your bent legs open, brain too foggy to be insecure about how utterly bare you are—allowing him to slowly rub up and down your inner thigh. 
“I’m gonna make you feel good, honey. I don’t think three times was enough for such a stressful week.” 
You gasp when his fingers finally brush your clit, whimpering slightly when they just barely skim your entrance before tracing the wetness back up.  
“Give me your hand,” Spencer says, taking his own from between your legs and holding it up. You don’t even think about it, releasing your grip on the arm he now has wrapped around you and holding it out for him. At this point, you’d do anything he tells you to without hesitation.  
He takes the proffered hand, gently guiding it back between your legs. Your fingers meet slick, soft warmth. “Do you feel how wet you are?” 
“Yeah,” you breathe, seeing how your fingers glisten when you pull them away. His remain, running slowly up and down your clit. Your brain seems to be vibrating in your skull as warmth spreads throughout your body. 
“Who’s that for?” 
“You, Spencer,” you whimper. He hums in approval before the room falls into silence as you both watch his teasing intently, your breath baited as you try to be patient. But your body isn’t with the program, you keep twisting slightly, your hips cant upward. “Please, please,” the words escape on a held exhalation as you finally break, arching your back against him as your search for more friction.  
Without warning, he sinks two fingers inside you. The slight stretch after not having taken anything in a week scratches an itch you didn’t even know you had, and you let out a broken moan. 
“I know, honey. You’re so good, I know.” Spencer kisses your head as he speaks over your cry, barely moving his fingers for a few moments while you get comfortable. 
Still you’re not ready for it when he withdraws and pushes back in. 
“Look at that,” he breathes. 
“Oh, fuck,” you choke, watching how your arousal completely coats his fingers as he slowly, slowly begins to fuck you with them. 
Again you feel the vibrations in his chest as he laughs slightly—probably at your earlier insistence that you didn’t desperately want this. The laughter fades as you both become entranced by the sight of his fingers disappearing into you, and your stomach twists with pleasure. His pace remains languid, and he seems to delight in the filthy, wet sounds his hand is producing between your legs.  
“You okay, baby?” he asks after a moment, seemingly snapping out of some trance. 
“Uh huh,” you whimper. One particular drag of his fingers at just the right angle has you dizzy, and then he’s speeding up. Your jaw drops at the change in pace and your hips chase his hand, wanting even more. 
“So pretty,” he mutters as his other hand moves to spread you open.  
You attempt to shut your legs around his wrist, but instead he just ruts his fingers deeper into you, palm pressed against your clit. You attempt to twist away from the extreme stimulation, but he doesn’t allow it. 
“Too much,” you squeak, bucking your hips inadvertently. 
“No it’s not,” he states, like you’re talking about the weather. 
“Spencer, I really c- ah- can't!” 
“It feels like a lot, huh?” he asks soothingly, not letting up one bit. 
“Yes!” you cry, eyes stinging as tears begin to well. 
“You’re okay, angel. It’s just been a while.” 
You are so completely fucked. Each stroke of his hand feels like an electric jolt through your whole body. It is too much, but at the same time, pleasure is pooling deep in your stomach and at the base of your spine and you never want him to stop. You throw your head back onto Spencer’s shoulder, eyes screwed shut.  
“Relax,” he mutters, carefully bearing down the pressure across your waist with his arm to try and keep you from squirming. 
A rhythmic whine breaks through the barrier of your sealed lips as you focus all your energy into taking it, when the all-consuming need to kiss him hits you. You twist your neck to look up at him, observing the furrow of his brow and the way he’s tucked his bottom lip into a bite. Thankfully he notices your movement—his eyes dart from your own half-lidded gaze to your lips and he understands what you want. 
The kiss is messy and the angle is awkward and you’re moaning into his mouth half the time anyway, but it feels so good to have his lips moving on yours that you don’t care about any of it.  
“I—ah,” you cry into him, unable to form a coherent thought as your stomach drops like you’re mounting the peak of a roller coaster. 
His fingers again change their angle and he finds the spot inside you that makes your legs spasm. Attempting to hold in whatever noises you were making is now futile—the whimpers and pants turn to full-fledged keening moans interspersed with taut silences as you fail to breathe properly.  
Your wrench your gaze and lips away from Spencer to watch through a blurry haze the rapid movement of his hand between your bare legs, the way your hips buck and twist and the way your leg bends as he hooks his free hand under your knee and hoists it toward your chest. 
“You’re doing so well, honey. Being so good for me.” 
Moisture spills over from your eyes, tracing down your cheeks and down your neck as you begin to come with no warning and a desperate, broken cry. 
A string of praise from Spencer underscores your pleading moans, but you can’t focus on anything other than the buzzing warmth emanating from your core, the bright, pulsing white that blinds you and the feeling of stardust flowing through your veins. 
Your boyfriend continues pumping his fingers slowly in and out of you for a blissful few moments, before sensing the tail-end of your orgasm and bringing his fingers up to rub lazy circles over your clit. Aftershocks resonate from the hypersensitive area and make you clamp your legs shut around his hand as your toes curl and you attempt to squirm out of his grip. 
“Done! I’m done,” you squeak, rocking your hips back and forth to try and escape his toying. 
“Okay, okay,” he soothes, relieving the pressure of his hand between your legs and moving it to run over your stomach as you come down. 
You lie in silence for a minute, enjoying the liquid sensation weighing down your muscles and basking in the warm afterglow of your orgasm.  
“Shit,” you breathe shakily after a moment. Spencer chuckles. You manage to turn yourself over, laying your cheek on his shoulder and slipping your arms under his waist. He looks down at you as he moves on to massaging your back and bare hips, eyes full of warm adoration.  
“Feel better?” 
You hum an affirmation, wiping your eyes on his shirt. 
“Oh, honey, did I make you cry?” 
You laugh into his chest and nod, a few stray tears leaking from your shut eyes. “It’s okay. Not sad tears.” 
“What kind of tears?” 
“Orgasm tears,” you mumble, a tidal wave of exhaustion you’d been fighting all day finally washing over you. 
“That makes sense. Orgasms can be cathartic or even therapeutic depending on your head space. Major losses and life changes are often associated with sexual dysfunction but the opposite is actually just as if not more common. A spike in libido can—” 
Spencer pauses, looking down to see that you’re either asleep or close to it, and smiles to himself. You’ll probably be mad about it when you wake up, but he had to get you to stop thinking about that paper somehow. 
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thecloudsaremyhome · 27 days ago
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☆Yandere platonic cult x reader part 1☆
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Summary: you and your friends have been forced to go on a trip to Sweden so they could finish their research paper for extra credit, honestly you were just tagging along for the fun of it not having the chance to go out as much as you’d like to, little did you know your stay at the community would be long overdue.
Tw: religious themes, sacrifice, yandere themes, infantization, death, violence, manipulation. the cult is very yandere for you, mental health issues, panic attack,readers friends are rude.
Taglist: @lilyalone, @stove-top96, @shadowytravelerlover, @dirtydiavolo, @bellethesleepypotato, @kawaii-cakes, @ratterpatter, @violets-in-spring, @yandere-enthusiast @caged-birdies-blog
Word count: 8k
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“Come on (name)! Hurry up! We ain’t got all day!” You sigh in annoyance as you look towards your friends and yell back, “I’m coming jeez! Jeez, give me a second okay!”
Your friends look at you with an annoyed expression but shrug it off. You carefully pull your luggage out from the trunk of the rental car you all rode in.
Honestly, it was already exhausting enough having to fly in a plane for 6-7 hours straight and the worst part is, is that you didn’t get one ounce of sleep thanks to your friend's snoring.
So not only are you physically exhausted but you're mentally as well. Just great.
You sigh in relief as your finally able to get your last piece of luggage out of the van.
you close the trunk door and decide to observe the scenery around you. It’s magnificent, you think to yourself.
From the tall yellow-like grass to the crops growing nearby filled with vegetables and fruits.
Then there are colorful flowers of all types surrounding the other side of the field, each being carefully taken care of to the fullest extent.
It mesmerized you To be honest, you've never seen anything this beautiful before, the only extent is the park in the middle of your city and even that can never compare to what you are looking at right now. No wonder people say Sweden is one of the most beautiful places to be because it hasn't been tainted by technology.
The sun reflects down onto you and you can feel the heat radiating off of your skin, but luckily there is a strong breeze to soothe that heat, it's perfect weather today you think to yourself as you continue to admire the fields surrounding around you and your friends, it seems like its endless.
“(name)! Get your ass over here! We ain't got time to dilly dally.” your friend says in an annoyed tone.
You snap out of your trance-like gaze and look towards your three friends, you sigh in annoyance as you pick up your backpack and suitcase and walk over back towards them.
“finally took you long enough.” your friend Mia says in annoyance scanning your form in a scrutinizing gaze, she was always the more moody one out of your group of friends, always having a stick up her ass.
She had dark brown curly hair and hazel irises with freckles littering her tan-like face, she was mostly slender having some curves here and there. “sorry I just got distracted by the scenery.”
you mumble annoyed at her attitude, Mia rolls her eyes, and states
“whatever let's get a move on before it hits sundown I want to get this shit over with anyways.”
Your two other friends Jacob and Cady nod reluctantly cady has long ginger hair with freckles and brown eyes while Jacob has dark brown hair with blue eyes and a more slim build.
and thus began your walk down the fields toward the desolate forest ahead.
“Mia, do you even know where we are going? Did the professor even provide us a map at all?”
you ask nervously having this gut feeling that nothing good is going to come ahead but maybe it's just a feeling.
You haven't really traveled outside of the U.S before so maybe it's just the anxiety of being in new places?
“yes actually i do know where we are going, don't be such a scardy pants and yes the professor sent me the map since I am the team leader.”
she taunts you sigh rolling your eyes at her cocky behavior.
You four continue down the long rocky path which results in you taking a look at the surrounding forest.
The forest honestly had humongous trees well bigger than the trees you've seen before when growing up, which caused the tree's height to block out most of the sunlight.
The rocky terrain your walking on looks worn down like it's been used for years which it probably has. What amazes you the most is how many flowers and wildlife are in the forest your walking through.
Youve honestly never seen so many animals in your life just from being here for liek 30 minutes it truly impresses you.
You occasionally glance at some of the logs or cut-down tree stumps next to the path finding interest in whatever inhabitants are abiding in it.
But you shake your head trying not to get to side tracked while you're here.
You're not here to explore the forest or play with the wildlife your here to work, so that's what you're going to do.
After a least an hour of walking and complaining from Cady you four finally arrive at what looks to be like a wooden gate with two strange-looking people standing in front of it with spears and animal like mask?
Okay well that's very creepy, “what the fuck”
you heard your friend jason mutter in absolute disbelief. It seems he was just a shocked as you but it seems like mia is paying no mind to it as she flaunts towards the gait confidently looking over the two guards and their appearance, you do the same but from a safe distance.
They both seem like males that's for sure from their muscular build to the lack of clothing they are wearing, it seems they are wearing on robes with metal plates on their shoulders acting as a shield.
What you also take notice of is both of them have a wolf mask.
What is even more strange, one of the guards has long wavy blonde hair while the other has short dirty blonde hair. Maybe there siblings?
You shake your head trying to rid your thoughts before you start to overthinking, you refocus back on the scene of Mia trying to flirt with the blonde-haired guard.
Which makes your two other friends sigh in annoyance at her behavior.
You three walk over to where mia is standing infront of the two guards, cady then clears he throat in annoyance
“you done mia so we can get a move on?” mia sighs at cady comments and nods her head
“yes in fact i am done i was just conversing with these two gentleman~ here but they've been ignoring me like a brick wall! And the worst part is, is that they won't even let me in!” mia states dramatically, whining like a puny child.
This causes Cady and Jacob to raise their eyebrow in confusion at her statement of not allowing her inside.
“they won’t? Why the hell not did you tell them that we came here for the research paper? Surely the professor notified the community of our arrival right?” Jacob states in pure bewilderment.
“I don't fucking know I tried to tell them! But nothing seems to go through to them! Like i said their brick walls!”
Mia states loudly which causes you to flinch from her tone of voice which of course your friends don't notice as they start to argue acting as if they arent just talking about the guards in front of them.
You sigh ignoring your friend's argument as you decide to step forward toward the two guards
“Hello there! Me and my friends here are here for a research project on your community, i don't know if you are aware of it or not? But could you please let us in?”
You state nervously, finally the guards look towards you and examine you like your a piece of prey, which unnerves you, to say the least.
But what surprises you the most is when the blonde-haired one speaks.
“So you are the one’s the great one has spoken about”
the blonde man states looking at you with a blank and unnerving expression behind the mask not that you could see or notice it though.
“I-i um yes?” you say confused about who the great one is.
The guards notice this and nod reaching to unlock the wooden gate this of course catches the attention of your arguing friends.
They turn to look at the two guards and you with a surprised look but quickly school it to a neutral one not wanting to piss the guards off.
When the gate finally opens to another pathway straight ahead your friends take this opportunity to push past you and the guards and enter the community.
Of course, this startles you to some degree but you quickly are able to reign your cool.
You then quickly thank the guards before rushing after your three friends.
This action very much surprises the guards having been used to rude and disrespectful behavior from “outsiders” so you doing behaving the opposite of disrespectfully is surprising to both guards but it also is nice that there are at least still some good people out there in the corrupted world outside of their sanctuary, its refreshing to say the least.
You sigh tiredly as you finally catch up with your three friends as they continue to walk down the more clean path.
You all finally make it towards what looks like a town square with a fountain in the middle and multiple other houses around it.
The houses look like they are made out of wood with a brick-like roof on the top of most of the houses. Strange you thought to yourself as you continued to examine the center of the community.
But you finally snapped out of your thoughts when Jacob nudges you in the shoulder to grab your attention. Which causes you to turn to look at him curiously.
That's when you notice the multiple stares directed at you and your friends.
You then look towards the source of those stares and find yourself faced with multiple people surrounding you and your friends, all of them having animal-like masks on.
But what catches your attention the most is the tall lady at the center of the people surrounding you.
She seems to be at least 6 feet tall with her long chocolate-like brown hair flowing down her back with her being nothing but dressed in a pure white dress with golden patterns to it that reaches her feet.
That's when you notice she's barefoot as well.
Strange you think to yourself but you snap out of your thoughts again when the lady clears her throat.
“hello their visitors you must be the foreigners our leader has spoken of, we are enlightened to be in your presence i hope you have a wonderful stay here. I will have one of our members show you towards your sleeping quarters.”
and with that before you and your friends coil question her at all she takes her lead with some of the community members following suit behind her.
“That was strange” Cady muttered anxiously “Yeah no shit” Mia states looking at the community members in a scrutinizing gaze.
You sigh ignoring your friends' spiteful comments, you then hear someone clear their throat which stops your friend's rant.
“if you all are done, I will be showing you to your sleeping quarters.”
you then gaze at the person speaking in a monotone like voice and are met with a tall slim man dressed in a similar fashion to the other community members just with a cow like mask to his face.
Your friends clearly embarrassed clear their throats and mutter a quick apology before returning their gazes to the man.
The man nods approvingly paying them no mind as he starts to walk down the town square, towards where you four will presumably be staying.
You and your friends follow after him at a steady pace.
Of course, you are more distracted than your other three friends, with the agriculture the community has to offer.
This annoys your friends of course but they do not say anything about it.
You four continue to walk down the cement path trailing behind the man. You all start to walk more towards the outskirts area of the community.
after a few more minutes of walking you four come face to face with a cabin-like structure that’s smaller than the houses the community has to offer.
It has a rustic type look with cobwebs poking out on the outside of the porch.
The porch in itself looks like it could've seen better days with some chipped wood poking out with dents on it.
It clearly looks like it has not had inhabitants for years now.
The condition of the cabin causes your friends especially Mia to grimace in disgust.
“Is this seriously what we have to stay in!” Mia states loudly, glaring at the man.
This causes the man to turn back towards her looking at her as if she's a spec of dirt underneath his shoe.
“Would you like to say that again?” he says coldly which causes Mia to flinch as she stutters out “I-I u-um N-never m-mind.”
the man then scoffs but pays her no mind as he walks towards the cabin.
You sigh as you reluctantly follow after him with your three shell-shocked friends. You both stand behind him as he unlocks the door with a wooden-like key, he opens it and motions you all to step inside.
Mia then sighs and steps inside first followed by cady and josh then yourself once you enter you take a good look at the interior presented in front of you.
Its old thats for sure from the rustic interior and the dusty floor all the way to the cobwebs littering the place with broken furniture and a animal like rug placed infront of the living room randomly.
Alomsot like someone didint even want to bother to atleast hide it or place it correctly.
Mia sneers at the predicament clearly unsatisfied with the conditions presented to her. “What the fuck is this shit show?”
she esclaims loudly which causes you to flinch at her loud outburst which doesnt go unnoticed by the man.
He glares at her disapproingly “i suggest you lower your voice and watch your language young lady that is no way to speak to your elders.”
he says calmly but with a hint of annoyance to his tone.
Mia looks baffled by the way he is treating her like some sort of child which of course angers her causing her face to heat up in embarrassment.
Cady and jacob start giggling at her sudden embarrassment finding it amusing that their friend is getting put in her place. You sigh at mia’s obvious childish behavior.
“I apologize for mia’s childish behavior she shouldnt have acted out like that.’”
you say with a tired tone looking at the man waiting for at least a irritated or unbothered response instead your surprised when his gaze softens towards you “oh its alright honey you friends are vert rumbunchs but nothing that we can’t handle”
he says softly with an almost fatherly look in his eyes from what you can tell.
This causes you to flinch not used to nicknames you stutter out an embarsset response which of course he notices and chuckles in amusement.
“your a shy thing arent ya? It’s very cute.” he says in a playful tone which causes you to blush in embarrassment.
Your friends awkwardly stand by as the conversation between you and the man unfolds, Mia then butts in and clears her throat before looking at the man “I think we're fine here its starting to get dark and we still have to unpack.”
she states in an annoyed tone clearly not wanting to be around the man any longer than she had to.
This of course disappoints you having enjoyed the man's company but you push the feelings aside.
The man turns around again to face mia and stares at her indifferently “Very well then have a good night and please if you all need anything, just ask you are our guests after all,”
he says in a dark tone which causes shivers to run up your spine but you shake it.
finally the man exists through the front door leaving you and your friends in a tense silence.
“Well, that was creepy.” Cady says with a nervous tone to her voice.
Jacob nods his head in agreement “Yeah no fucking kidding this whole place is giving off bad vibes and the way they talk to us is patronizing.”
Jacob said in an annoyed tone clearly irritated by the whole ordeal.
“let's calm down okay? How about we start unpacking our stuff and get a good look at this place?”
i say with a skittish tone trying to calm down the clearly pliable tension.
“Fine whatever” cady states as she puts her duffle bag and suitcase on the ground and moves towards the kitchen.
Jacob does the same following behind Cady which leaves you and Mia alone.
“Mia you okay?” I say in a worried tone not used to Mia being so quiet throughout the whole ordeal. “ yeah I'm fine.”
she says in an annoyed tone which causes you to flinch.
It doesn't go unnoticed by Mia as she smirks in response, she then turns around towards the old couches and places her backpack, duffle bag, and suitcase on the dusty couch.
You sigh setting down your luggage near hers as you decide to explore, not wanting to make the tension worse.
You decided on going down the hallway nearest to the kitchen, deciding its the best option to explore first. You could find some bedrooms, This cabin is pretty big after all.
You sigh as you slowly start to trudge down the dark hallway you finally approach what looks to be an old door clearly worn down from the lack of usage.
You reach your hand out to grab the door nob but before you can you hear a loud bang coming from the kitchen which causes you to jump in surprise. You rush back towards the kitchen panting.
“What was that noise what happened.” you say in worry, only for Cady and Jacob to laugh.
“jeez such a scardy pants, aren't you? Dont worry, Jacob just accidentally dropped the pan we were gonna use to cook.”
Cady says in a teasing tone while she playfully smacks Jacob on the shoulder. Jacob sighs, annoyed and glares at her which earns another laugh from Cady.
You sigh in relief “s-sorry just something about this place keeps me on edge,” you say as you try to laugh it off to lighten the atmosphere.
Which of course doesn’t work as Cary shakes her head In Amusement before turning back around to start cooking.
You sigh in annoyance as you leave the kitchen, deciding to at least find a bedroom you can lie in, completely forgetting about the door you were previously going to open.
You walk down the opposite hallway and finally find one of the bedrooms, which is pretty extravagant to say the least compared to the rest of the house.
You look at it in shock, from the pure red blood bed sheets with golden tips to the golden headboard with silver butterfly piercings indented into it.
Then, there's the pure white carpet placed in the center of the room. Finally, there is a wooden closet at the end of the room.
You gasp in shock at how pretty it is before taking notice of the basket of fruit placed directly on the bed. You tilt your head in confusion before finally entering the room.
You approach the basket placed on the bed and finally take notice on a note placed next to it, written in another language.
Whatever you think to yourself as you decide, you should show the rest of your friends the basket.
“Hey guys I found this basket in one of the bedrooms!”
You say as you finally enter the kitchen, which causes Cady and Jacob to turn their heads towards me in curiosity. “Oh, you did What's in it? Let me see,”
Jacob says as he snatches the basket from your hands and searches through it.
Cady sighs in annoyance at his eager behavior.
“Damn it theirs nothing interesting in here just a bunch of fruit and crap.” jacob sighs in annoyance and throws the basket back towards me which causes me to stumble and catch it.
Cady glares at jacob “ stop being an ass jacob” jacob rolls his eyes and mumbkes a whatever before getting back to cooking with cady.
You sigh as you exit the kitchen and enter the living room. You place down the basket next to Mia.
you notice her annoyed expression. “Whats wrong Mia?” mia look towards you and shakes her head in defeat “i cant get any damn service out here!”
you chuckle at her whining behavior in return she pouts towards you but finally takes notice of the basket next to you both “whats that?” she says as she points towards the basket.
“It's just something I found in one of the bedrooms I came across while exploring i dont think it has anything interesting in it all it has is fresh fruit.”
Mia sighs and nods before standing up to grab her backpack and open her laptop and grab her papers.
“since dinner's cooking do you wanna help me fill out these papers, the professor said we had to document everything so might as well start.”
you nod your head in agreement mumbling a sure before being handed a few papers to help fill out.
Finally, for what seems like an hour, cady comes back towards you both to inform you guys dinner is ready which causes you and Mia to sigh in relief.
You both make your way towards the kitchen, which has four plates of pasta placed out on the counter for you all to grab you and mia mutter a thanks as you make you way back towards the couch to coutinue your work, which leaves Cady and Jacob to eat together.
After three more hours of work you and mia finally completed the worksheets needed for today sighing in relief you then state
“I’m going to go and get ready for bed ill see you tommrow mia, dont try and overwork yourself okay? You need to get rest as well since we have a busy day tomorrow.”
mia sighs in annoyance at your worry and nods “yeah yeah dont worry about me just get to bed sleepy head”
you sigh at her nickname and nod your head in amusement as you rab your luggage from the couch and make your way to one of the bedrooms in the cabin.
You pass Jacobs and Cady's room, them having already fallen asleep beforehand.
You finally approach the bedroom you explored beforehand, having decided you'll just sleep in there for the night.
But before you can enter, you hear a strange noise coming from inside,which causes you to halt in your footsteps.
Suddenly, you feel like you're being watched, which causes a shiver to go down your spine. You shake off the feeling before finally entering the bedroom again.
You place down your luggage next to the wooden closet. You sigh as you crouch down next to your suitcase and open it to grab a fresh pair of pajamas and your medication for the night.
You finally finish changing as you hop into bed, laying down on the plush pillows You reluctantly try to fall asleep.
You still feel like you're being watched, but this time, you can't brush the feeling off, which heightens your anxiety.
But after an hour of staying awake, you finally fall asleep only to be woken up again by the noise of the door to the bedroom being opened, which causes you to freeze, you then hear quiet footsteps approach your bed which causes you to hold your breath silently.
You then feel a cold hand on your forehead caressing you like a parent would to your child as the figure starts to hum a soft lullaby which reluctantly causes you to drift back asleep.
But before you fall asleep you hear one last word from the person “dont worry baby youll be home soon.” but before you can process the words you fall asleep.
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You yawn as you open your eyes to the sun drifting into the room through the slightly cracked window placed next to your bed.
You rub your eyes in exhaustment as you sit up to look around in the room. What catches your attention though is the piece stuffed animal placed next to your bedside table.
You widden your eyes at the plush lamb finding it absolutely cute your carefully pick it up and inspect it before placing it down on your bed deciding to keep it.
You stand up from the bed ad yawn walking towards your suitcase to grab your clothes.
You finally finish changing and step out of your bedroom as you walk towards the kitchen were jacob and cady are up conversing while mia is doing her makeup in the living room.
“Hey sleepyhead did you sleep well?”
cady says in amusement which causes you to nod hesotantly still thinking abou the events that happened last night.
“well we got a busy day today so you better be prepared to walk alot!”
jacob says as he bites out of a piece of bacon presented on the counters which you nod in agreement.
Mia finally exits the living room “are you guys ready to go? I already have the gear ready so we can document.” you, cady and jacob nod in agreement.
You then go towards the living room to grab some of the gear with the help of Jacob and cady.
You all then exit the cabin and walk down the same long pathway towards the town square of the community.
You sigh in relief as you all finally enter the twon square which causes the commonity members to stare at you all as you enter.
“what’s first on the list of stuff we have to do?” you ask in curiosity “well first we have to gather information on the resources they grow and make here so maybe we hould interview some of the farmers first?”
mia says qustionly, you nod your head in agreement. Jacob and Cady also nod their head, agreeing with Mia.
“alright then, off to the fields we go!” mia says as she approaches a female wearing a lamb mask. “excuse me Ms. if you dont mind could you point us in the direction of the feilds were the farmers work?” mia asks confidently which causes the female to nod and point ahead downanother path.
Mia mutters a thank you and walks off. You three follow behind her as you examine your surroundings.
But you can't help but feel like you're being watched again, which causes you to look around frantically, paranoia creeping up on you.
Finally, after a long walk, you four make it to the grass fields were some community members farm fruit and vegetables. This amazes you, to say the least, on how much effort these people put in to keep the community afloat.
“Okay, (name) you can stay here while we go and interview some of the farmers. Don't wander off, okay?”
You nod in agreement as your friends walk ahead and leave you on your own. But something catches your attention.
A community member struggling with a basket of fruit. You rush over to help her with the basket as you help her put it down.
Then you take notice of how old she looks and a worry look crosses your face.
“oh well thank you dearie for the help my old back hasnt been like it used to be when i was younger.” the woman says in a motherly tone smiling warmly at you behind the tiger mask over her face.
“Its no problem, ma’am im just glad i could help. Is your back okay?” you say in a worried tone. Which causes her to chuckle in amusement. “Oh, im perfectly fine dearie ive been through worse but i do appreciate your help this is the first time outsiders have been as nice as you.” you stare at her in confusion at her statement which causes her tone to turn solemnly.
“we haven’t had the best experience with outsiders as a whole. There have been few that have been here before hand that werent the nicest but of course, we took care of them!”
you look at her sympathetically, but her last sentence catches you off guard. What could she have meant by that? But before you could ask her, she was already walking away.
You sigh in annoyance but shrug it off, deciding to sit down in the grass fields and wait patiently for your friends to return. Hopefully, they’ll be back soon, you think to yourself as you gaze up at the sun.
fiddling with the dandelion in your hand as you slowly start to doze off. But before you could fully fall aslee,p you feel a small tug on your shirt.
And you're surprised to be faced with a child no older than 6 sitting next to you and fiddling with your shirt. You hadn't even heard him approach you. But you smile softly at him, which causes the little boy to flinch.
From what you can tell, he has strawberry-blonde hair and blue eyes with the same white dress that you see all the other members wear he also wears a bird like mask on his face.
“hi, little one do you need something?” you say in an affectionate tone.
You always did have a soft spot for kids. He looks up at you in wonder before muttering, “I... I like your s-shirt,” he says timidly, which causes you to soften your gaze at his timid nature.
You carefully pick him up and set him in your lap.
He continues to fiddle with your shirt as he cuddles against you, which causes you to chuckle as you comb your fingers through his silky soft hair.
He cuddles closer to you before finally falling asleep. The scene just looks to serene and feels so peaceful.
You don't remember the last time you felt like this. Felt at peace.
But of course that peace has to be interrupted at some point as your about to close your eyes, you hear the talking if your friends as they approach you.
I guess they finished you think to yourself.
The noise causes the little boy to wake up in confusion but when he sees your friends approaching his grip on your shirt tightens as he galres at them This suprises you of course.
Your friends stop in their tracks as they quietly wisper to each other but to break the tense silence,e you wave them over.
They hesitantly approach causing the little boy to glare even more,e but he still grips onto your shirt.
“hey guys, are you done doing interviews with the farmers?” you say hesitantly trying to ease the tension forming. “yeah, we finished.” Jacob says sharply, and you can sense hes on edge, which causes you to furrow your brows in concern.
“Did something happen? You all seem..tense.” you say in concern as you inspect them. “Well-” but before Jacob could finish what he was saying Mia interrupted him sending a glare to jacob “nothing happened, so you dont need to worry now lets continue our interview so we can get it done before the so-called banquet we were invited to tonight.”
Mia says in a snipped tone clearly not wanting to waste any more time. You flinch at her harsh tone and nod reluctantly in agreement.
Your flinch doesn't go unnoticed by the little boy though as he glares even harder at your friends.
Of course, this goes unnoticed by you, but your friends do clearly notice and their shoulders tense at the harsh glare the boy is receiving to them.
You grab the little boy and place him off of your lap and stand up and dust the grass off your clothes. This causes the boy to pout behind the mask, having wanted to stay next to you a little more longer. But he doesn't voice this because he doesn't want to upset you, you ruffle his hair as you turn to face your friends as you happily converse with them.
But unnoticed to you the boy is having an inner turmoil of his own. Why do they have to capture your attention.
You shouldnt even be looking in their direction your friends are just a waste of space, not worthy of your presence because your his, his sister and he would be damned to let these insects ruin that.
Mama always have said outsiders are nasty people and now hes starting to believe it. But he hopes you can stay here forever with him and the community. Hes sure youd be very very happy.
Plus it's not like you’d miss your own boring life anyways right? You could have everything you need here. A loving community that is ready to do whatever it takes to keep you. And he hopes that that's what his community decides to do. Because he wants you to stay no matter what it takes.
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You're extremely tired after four long hours of interviews and interactions with the other community members, you're finally glad the banquet came around the corner faster than expected because you were starting to grow extremely hungry.
Of course you weren’t the only one you noticed how antsy Jacob has been getting, clearly he’s hungry as well.
But the strange is that the little boy from earlier has been following you like a lost puppy which is cute of course but it still bothers you that his parents havent come looking for him at all and when you asked him he just said
“mama and papa are just busy! But thdey know im safe!” which of course has you smiling in relief but you still held that sense of worry.
As the hours stretched on your finally learnt his name, it was Abner. It was a cute name to say the least. But back to the present at hand, you four finally finished all interview needed for the first day and were getting ready for the banquet at 9:00. Which of course, Mia told us we had to dress “presentable” whatever the hell that means.
Of course, you didnt pack anything presentable to her standards so you opted for a black dress shirt and some formal pants with sneakers.
You sigh in contempt as you finally finish brushing out your hair and styling it.
You then exit your room. Then head towards the living room to wait for the rest of your friends to finish getting ready. You then spot jacob already dressed and ready to go as he scrolls on his phone.
Your smile softens when yo see him you then take a seat next to him on the old couch. He notices your presence and smirks “ look at you all fancy looking you look hot.” he jokes as you nudge him in the shoulder, playfully muttering a shut up.
After 30 more minutes of waiting Mia and Cady finally enter the room in ruffles dresses and high heels you sigh and roll your eyes at their so called “presentable outfit” “that’s what you all are gonna wear its not a ball you know?” you say jokily which earns you a galre from Mia and a scoff.
You chuckle again, putting your hands up in mock surrender but before mia could respond cady cuts in.
“stop teasing okay? We have to get a move on so we wont be late we are meeting with the leaders of this so called community. So we have to make a good impresion so we can get as much information as possible so we can pass this extra credit.”
Cady states sternly which causes you all to nod your heads reluctantly in agreement. Not wanting to argue any further you and jacob stand up and make your way to the front door ready to go, cady and mia follow behind you two.
You four exit the cabin and make you way down the path leading towards the community center. You look up towards the moon shining down on all of you.
You’ve always been fascinated by the moon and how it reflects. In your opinion, you say its absolutely beautiful everything about this place is beautiful
Finally, after minutes of walking, you all arrive at the community center and walk towards another pathway leading towards the great hall, an imposing structure that is made out of wood.
After 5 minutes of walking, you all finally arrived at the entrance of the great hall You can see the light peeking out from the large imposing door.
You four walk up the wooden stairs, and Jacob opens the wooden door allowing you three to enter in first.
Mia goes in first then cady, then you as you finally enter the great hall you are in awe at the scenery and design of the place.
From the flower decorations hung up on the walls to the candles and fruits then their is white tablecloth placed on the tables with a bunch of fresh food.
From chicken and beef to vegetables and fruit. All sorts of varieties littered the table which makes your mouth water and your stomach grumble in hunger.
You then take notice of the statue of a naked man standing at the end of the room with a large star like window placed behind him.
It's amazing how people who only depended on natural resources could make all of this happen.
Then you noticed the hundreds, maybe thousands of stairs boring into your back. You look around, finally noticing the community members are not only staring at your friends but specifically at you. Which creeps you out, to say the least.
But what shocks you even more is the 6 imposing figures placed infront of the imposing statue placed infront of the star window. To say they are intimidating is an underestimating it, they loom absolutely terrifying.
But one of the members you recognize as the pretty lady from yesterday which makes you widen your eyes in shock. She catches your gaze a smiles softly standing up to approach you.
You stagger back in shock to shocked to speak “hello its nice to see you again foreigner i would like to request that you join us for supper our leader would like to formally meet you as well as our officials.”
You look at her in shock but realize that you don't have any room for argument, noticing the serious tone her voice holds.
So, with a heavy heart, you nod in agreement, which causes her to light up and smile warmly. She grabs your arm and pulls you forward which causes you to stagger back.
But you reluctantly follow her to the table she pulls the chair out for you and allows you to sit down next to a very tall man. She then takes her seat next to you
“our leader will be here very soon so please dont mind his tartiness. Oh! I never got to introduce myself! My name is Ezra! Whats your name little one.” you pause deciding whether or not it would be a good idea to tell her but you decide to.
“My name is (name).” you say timidly, which causes the female to coo at your shy nature. Which causes you to blush in embarrassment with earns a chuckle from the other 5 officals. Which makes you blush even more in embarrassment.
But before you could respond a the great hall door slams opens as the gaurds from yesterday are stationed next it, bowing to what seems like a very large man maybe 7 feet tall? With long dark white hair that looks almost unnatural, he is wearing something totally different a robe with golden pattern designs with black dress shoes with golden designs as well.
He wears a bear mask, and from what you can tell, he is very muscular and has baby-blue eyes.
This unnerves you, to say the least. He's very intimidating, with a golden robe hanging off the side of his shoulder, and his steps seem precise and planned.
This also unnerves your friends as they glance nervously at you. But you notice the man is staring right at you. His eyes bore into your very soul with an intensity that is so extreme that it makes you uncomfortable. What is his problem?
You think to yourself, nervously picking at your skin as the man approaches with steady footsteps, as all the community members stand up to bow before his presence like he's some sort of god.
This unnerves you even more as his eyes continue to bore into you, analyzing every twitch and breath you make.
Finally he arrives at your table, standing right infront of you, ezra then stands up and bows the official sitting on the right of you does the same thing so does the other four officials.
But he doesn't respond to their formal behavior as he continues to stare at you motionlessly as you anziously pick at your skin.
He then reaches out and imoblizes your wrist from continuing to pick at your skin this leaves you in shock as you freeze in anxiety.
You can clearly see the size difference between the two of you. His hand can fit fully around your wrist like he could easily snap it at any time which scares you to say the least.
His intimidating frame adds even more to the tense atmosphere “ dont do that anymore child; you'll hurt your delicate skin, and we dont want that do we?” he says in a very soft tone which surprises you to say the least, not expecting his voice to sound so soft and velvety.
Which comforts you to some extent that hes not trying to intentionally scare you.
But he keeps a form hand on your wrist letting you know that he won't be letting go of it any time soon.
“I-i just do it out of habit i cant really control it sometimes when im really anxious.” you mutter timidly, not daring to face his gaze as he stares intently into you.
His gaze softens slightly, and he rubs circles into your wrist to soothe your growing anxiety.
Which doesn't exactly work as you can still feel him staring into you, including all the community members and your friends.
You’ve never liked being the center of attention so you're surprised you haven't gone into a full blown anxiety attack right now.
Maybe it's the way he's trying to ground you that prevents that from happening. You don't know, and you don't care you just want to get this over with so you can get back into that comfy bed and sleep.
But before you can dwell on the thoughts plaguing your mind you feel the mans hand let go of your wrist. He turns around to look at everyone else with a calculating look before that look softens to a more serene expression. “ let the feast begin!” he shouts.
He then walks over towards the seat standing right next to the statue. The chair looks more like a throne than anything with its golden pattern designs and the red velvet texture to it, you would think a king would sit on it.
You sigh as you snap out of your thoughts when a plate of food is placed infront of you with apple juice? The food looks absoulty delicious on your part.
From the perifcally roasted beaf with mash potatoes and vegetables on the side to the white rice with chicken in it. Damn you mutter under your breath as your mouth starts to salvate.
But then you take a look around and notice all the adults oncluding your freinds got some type of alcoholic beverage but you just got apple juice.
Thats weird you think to yourself but shrug it off not wanting to dwell on something not worth your time.
You start to dig into your food quickly which causes ezra to chuckle in amusement a she Coos at you.
“Don't eat so fast honey, we don't want you to choke do we?” this causes you to blush I. Emmbaresment putting your hea down in shame which causes her to chuckle even more. But when you took a sip of th apple juice it tasted very sour.
Which is weird but you shrug it off not bothering to worry about it but before you could take another bite, the chattering decreased in the great hall as the leader stans up to approach the center of the room, this of course catches your attention instantly.
“Brothers, and sisters daughters and mothers, fathers and sons tonight our banquet has been honored by the cesilatial god himself to bestow us and our community a blessing and so to thank him we will preform our ceremonial sacrificial ritual for our god and our guests as a thanks.”
he says in a soothing tone and you can tell his voice has a deep effect on these people her from their adoring looks to their devotion you can feel radiating off of them. It awes and unnerves you at the same time.
But what do they mean by a sacrafical ritual?
You think to yourself as you anxiety starts to grow. You look towards you friends who are sitting at a table near you and you also notice their anxious expressions.
But before you could dwell more on your thoughst the great hall door opens as two of the guards carry in a struggling woman.
Which makes you widen your eyes in shock and horror. The guards put down the woman oto the cement like structure of the statue and tie her in place.
Then you notice another community member come in with a large tray of candles a book and a dagger.
This unnerves you even more as you start to shakinly pick at your skin from the growing anxiety creeping up onto you.
What the fuck…what the fuck are they going to do to that poor woman. You think to yourself as you stare in horror at her as she screams and struggles and pleads.
This causes you to close your eyes and put your hands over your ears. You take shaking breaths as you feel an oncoming panic attack. But of course your friends don’t notice or are to shocked to care.
You return you sight to the scenes I front of you as the woman pleads but it falls on death ear as the leader grabs the dagger from the tray
“låt dem vara ljusa och låt vår gud ge dig gåvan av evigt stycke unge” he says to the woman before impaling the dagger in her lower stomach then into her right breast and finally into her forehead the blood from the stand leaks out of her lifeless limp body onto the floor.
You feel like your going to throw up as the community members stand up to clap in celebration like what he did was completely normal.
And you can’t hold it back anymore you dip down and realealse all what was in your stomach to begin with. You gag at the smell and pant feeling tears rolling down your eyes. Then you notice everyone is looking at you now again.
You need to get out of here now you think to yourself as you eyes look up towards your friends who are as equally shocked and disturbed at what took place.
But before you could say or do anything you feel the tightening hold of Ezra rubbing your back soothingly this disturbed you even more at how calm she could be when just witnessing a murder!
You can’t seem to wrap your head around it and your heart is pounding so fast you think you’d have a heart attack any second and maybe that would be for the better because you don’t know what’s going to happen next and you don’t want to find out.
You just need to get out of here now no matter what it takes you refuse to die.
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Authors note: y’all I work so hard on this sooo please comment and like a lot I would like this to reach at least 1,000 likes that would be the world to me and I definitely am going to make part 2 which is way more darker and that’s where the more intense Yandere behavior comes in!
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i-get-obsessed-fast · 15 days ago
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Coffee and Journals
.・゜✭・. Spencer Reid x F!Reader .・゜✭・.
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Summary: You step out of your comfort zone and meet a guy in a coffee shop who you somehow befriend, and end up in the theaters with him translating a Russian film.
A/N: omg this one is so cuteee, I love it lmk your thots<3
BYR(b4 u Reid): use of y/n, mentions of anxiety, readers never had a bf, inexperienced reader & Spencer, can be season 1 & 2 Spencer | none <- [warnings]
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It started with a trip to the coffee shop.
You weren’t supposed to be there, at least, not alone. You didn't go places alone. That was just how… things were. But it was a new year, and you were tired of every year being the same.
No new friends, no love interests, no new experiences.
You knew, deep down, that you couldn't keep living like this. The loneliness was starting to feel like a weight pressing down on you, making everything dull.
So, here you were, Ordering a drink at the register, by yourself. God, was your voice shaking?
“Um, can I get a-a regular iced latte?” You asked, trying not to sound as nervous as you felt. The cashier nodded, you paid, and that was it.
It was such a small thing ordering coffee, and you’ve done it a lot of times just this time you didn’t have the comfort of a friend right beside you. You were all alone.
You felt proud, proud that you left your home, came to the café alone, and now you were going to enjoy it at the shop.
You picked a small table, hands gripping your journal as you sat down, waiting for your order to be called. The café was a little too busy for comfort. Too many eyes, not on you, you knew that, but… it felt like they were.
You took a deep breath, opening your journal.
Do I look weird?
No, no. There were plenty of people doing the same thing. You weren’t standing out.
After a few moments your drink was finally called, you stood up, going to grab it, only to find there was two.
The man beside you just looked at you unsure of which one was his and which one was yours.
“Oh- um, I’m not sure which is which.” He said, glancing between the two drinks. You looked at him, then at the cups, trying to find anything that could differentiate them. Nothing.
“Uh, excuse me, which one is the iced coffee?” You asked the barista. “They both are.” She answered flatly, like it was the dumbest question she’d ever heard. Your stomach twisted immediately.
Great, now I sound stupid.
“Which one has non-dairy milk?” The guy asked
The barista sighed, rolling her eyes. “I don’t know, maybe that one.” She pointed to the cup on the right.
You and the guy exchanged a look.
“Um… I guess I’ll just take this one.” You mumbled, grabbing the drink you had originally reached for. You don’t have any dairy problems, and didn’t care for the kind of milk used so it wasn’t too much of a problem.
You can hear the guy sigh as you walked away.
You sat down, watching him talk to the barista, clearly trying to get his order fixed. You couldn’t blame him for being frustrated.
You refocused on your journal, writing down your thoughts about stepping out of your comfort zone. About how weird it felt. How anxious you still were, and how you hoped this wouldn’t be another failed attempt at trying to change.
“Hi, I’m sorry, but do you mind if I have a seat?”
You looked up.
It was the non-dairy guy.
Your first instinct was to say no. You didn’t want anyone sitting with you. This was already too much social interaction for one day.
Or you could just leave, but if you let yourself retreat, wouldn’t that be losing? Wouldn’t you end up right back where you started, lying in bed tonight, frustrated with yourself for failing at something as simple as existing in a public space ?
“Of course.” You said instead, nodding toward the empty chair.
He gave you a polite smile and sat down. You stole a glance at him. Tall, kind of lanky, brown hair, sharp features, hazel eyes. He didn’t seem much older than you.
You tried to focus on your journal again, but it was hard with someone new in front of you.
“You know, an iced coffee isn’t something I normally get.” He said suddenly
You blinked, looking up.
He was talking to you.
“I usually just get a regular hot coffee.” He continued, like this was a totally normal thing to say to a stranger. “Today I wanted something different. And, well… you saw how that went.”
You let out an awkward little laugh, like the ones you give people when you aren’t sure what to say.
Is he crazy? Why is he talking to me?
“I get it.” You said after a pause. “I don’t usually get coffee on my own, and the one time I do, my coffee gets mixed with yours, and then the barista has a shitty attitude.”
That was relatable, right? That made sense?
Stop overthinking.
He smiled. “I’m Spencer Reid.”
First and last name, who does that?
“I’m y/n.” You said, giving him a small smile in return
you didn't give him your last name, it felt too formal, you guys also didn't shake hands which relieved you because those were always so awkward for you.
Almost all physical touch was awkward with you.
“I'll let you get back to work.” He said, pulling a book out of his bag.
“It’s not really work.” You admitted, which shocked you because you were trying to continue this conversation. “Just journaling.”
He glanced up again, nodding slightly. “Studies show that journaling can improve working memory, reduce stress, and even strengthen the immune system,” he said. “James Pennebaker, a psychologist at the University of Texas, found that expressive writing helps people process traumatic events by organizing thoughts and emotions, which can lead to improved mental health and reduced anxiety.”
You stared at him.
“Yeah… That’s kind of why I’m trying it.” You said, giving a small smile.
You narrowed your eyes playfully. “How do you know all that?” He just shrugged as if it was nothing “I read alot.”
“That’s cool.”
“Really?” He smiled a little. “A lot of my friends think I’m crazy, and that I should be spending more time doing other things.”
You shook your head. Well… okay, you did think he was a little crazy. But only because he could start a conversation so easily. You couldn’t imagine doing that.
“Not crazy, I think it’s fascinating your brain is able to retain all that information.”
The two of you settled into silence after that. You wrote, he read. You noticed he was flying through pages at an insane speed.
Curiosity got the better of you.
“How are you reading so fast?” You blurted out.
He looked up. “I can read 20,000 words a minute.”
Your eyes widened. “Are you lying?”
He laughed. “No. I uh… I have an IQ of 187, so I think that helps a lot with my reading abilities.”
“That’s like a superpower.”
“Some would say it’s the lamest one to have been given.” He joked, you shrugged. “Maybe. But I think it’s cool.”
And, honestly?
You were surprised by yourself.
A simple conversation. With a stranger.
A man, even.
ʚɞ
Over the next few months, you found yourself at the coffee shop at least three times a week. And almost every time, Spencer was there too.
At first, it felt like a coincidence, like an unspoken routine you both had fallen into without realizing. But eventually, he started waving you over when he spotted you, a small smile tugging at the corner of his lips as he gestured to the empty seat across from him. And, recently, you had started doing the same for him.
You’d sit together, sometimes in silence, sometimes talking about what you were reading, new movies, or random events happening around town. It felt… easy.
“How’s journaling been?” Spencer asked as he took a sip of his coffee and looked at you.
You glanced up from your book. “Oh, it’s been really good. It actually helps a lot more than I thought it would.”
He nodded, thoughtful. “Yeah, it helped me a lot too.”
“You journal?”
He shrugged, shifting slightly in his seat. “I used to. Not as much anymore, but when I have the time, I try. I think it’s a good outlet, especially for people who struggle with intrusive thoughts, or high stress levels.”
“You think only people who struggle journal?” You questioned
“Not necessarily.” He said, tilting his head slightly. “I mean, anyone can journal. But research suggests that people who journal regularly are often those who need a way to process their thoughts. It can help regulate emotions by engaging the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for rational thinking. That’s why it’s often recommended for anxiety, PTSD, and even problem solving.”
You nodded slowly, letting his words sink in. “Yeah… I think it’s helped me a lot with my anxiety.”
You weren’t sure why you would say it, you never really talk about what you struggle with but somehow with Spencer it felt safe.
You looked up at him, Spencer’s eyes had softened, his expression shifting from analytical to something gentler. “That’s good.” He said sincerely. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
You let out a small laugh, rubbing the back of your neck. “I think it’s obvious. I mean, I’m constantly fidgeting, can’t make eye contact, let alone hold a conversation with people.” You say as you look down at your hands
He shook his head. “You don’t seem that way with me.” His brows furrowed slightly.
“Well, yeah. Not anymore.” You admitted “When we first met and you asked to have a seat, I wanted so badly to say no, and even get up and leave.”
His mouth parted slightly before he quickly recovered. “Really?”
You nodded. “Yeah. But I had to let you because if I hadn’t, I would’ve felt like I lost that day, and definitely would’ve felt horrible about it. But… thankfully I did.”
For a moment, he just looked at you, processing your words. Then, the corners of his lips lifted into a small genuine smile. “I’m glad, glad that you let me sit with you.”
“I’m glad too.”
It felt strange, strange in a way that made your chest feel light and unfamiliar warmth settle in your stomach. Having someone new to talk to, someone who, despite barely knowing you, felt like they had been in your life forever.
Spencer made things easy. Talking to him didn’t feel like a struggle, like you had to overthink every word before you said it. He listened. He never made you feel awkward or unsure.
Somehow, being around him made you feel like maybe, just maybe, you were figuring yourself out.
Both of your coffees were nearly empty now, the melted ice clinking softly against the cup. It meant this little hangout, or whatever you can call it, was coming to an end. And you didn’t want it to.
Spencer shifted slightly in his seat, his fingers tapping lightly against his cup before he cleared his throat.
“Um, Y/n.” He said, voice softer than usual. You looked up at him, giving him a small, curious smile. “Yeah?”
He hesitated for half a second, then pushed his hair behind his ear, a habit you noticed. “There’s this old film playing at the theaters. It’s not far from here. I was wondering if you’d like to go?” He paused, glancing down at his hands before quickly adding “It’s in Russian, though, so if you’d like, I can translate it for you.”
“Russian?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
He nodded, his lips twitching up slightly. “Yeah. If you don’t want to, that’s fine, I just- I thought it would be nice.” He said as he nervously rubbed the back of his neck.
You bit your lip, trying to hold back a smile. “I’ve never seen a Russian film before, but I do like the theaters. And if you’re offering to translate, I’d love to go.”
Spencer let out a breath, his shoulders relaxing like he had been holding it in without realizing. “Yeah?” His voice was lighter, hopeful.
You nodded. “Yeah.”
His lips parted, like he was about to say something else, but he just nodded quickly instead. “Alright. Um. I can pick you up? If you’re comfortable with that, of course.”
You could see the way he was watching you carefully, waiting for any sign of hesitation. But there wasn’t any. Not with him.
“No, yeah, I’m fine with that.” You said, a soft warmth settling in your chest.
Spencer’s fingers tapped against the table before he spoke again. “Can I-uh-can I have your number? Just so we can communicate better.”
You smiled, reaching for your phone. “Yeah.”
ʚɞ
Spencer arrived at exactly 8:00 p.m, right on time. When you opened the door, he stood there with his hands in his pockets, rocking slightly on his heels before offering a small, shy smile.
“Hi.” He said softly
“Hi.” You echoed, feeling your pulse quicken.
You both walk towards his car, and to your surprise he opened the door for you. It was a small gesture, but it made something warm settle in your chest.
Was he just being polite, or did it mean something more? You didn’t want to overthink it, didn’t want to confuse kindness for something else.
At the theaters, Spencer insisted on paying for your ticket. When you offered to cover snacks instead, he shook his head. “No, really, it’s fine.” He said, handing over his card before you could argue.
“Okay, well, now we have to go somewhere else after this. My treat.” You said, crossing your arms.
He tilted his head, considering for a moment. “We could get ice cream after?” He suggested.
You smiled. “That sounds nice.”
As the movie started, Spencer leaned in slightly, quietly translating the dialogue for you. At first, it was just a whisper here and there, but soon he got really into it, his voice subtly changing to mimic different characters, his hands gesturing slightly as he explained a scene.
You let out a small laugh.
“What?” He asked, turning to you with a small smile.
You shrugged, grinning. “You’re so good at translating. And getting into character, it’s honestly amazing.”
His expression shifted, something like pride flashing in his eyes before he looked down for a second, almost bashful. “Oh. Thank you.” He said, meeting your gaze again.
You hadn’t realized how close the two of you had leaned in until the moment. His hazel eyes held yours, the sounds of the movie fading into the background. Your breath hitched, and you quickly shifted in your seat, breaking the moment.
Spencer cleared his throat softly before returning to translating, but you could tell he’d noticed it too.
When the movie ended, you tossed the empty popcorn bucket and drinks into the trash bin. “So how’d you like the movie?” Spencer asked as you both walked towards the exit.
“It was really good, I didn’t expect to like it as much as I did.” You truthfully answered.
Spencer smiled, as he opened the door for you to exit the building. “They play foreign films here once a month. I’d be happy to come with you again. We could watch together.”
“I’d love that, it’ll be really fun.”
“Yeah.” He nodded. “I love films, and translating stuff.”
“I could tell.” You teased, giggling softly.
He glanced at you, something hesitant in his expression. “Still up for that ice cream?”
“Are you?” You asked. “If you don’t want to, it’s okay.”
“No-no I want to.” He assured you quickly. “I just wasn’t sure if you still wanted to.”
“I do.”
He nodded, a relieved smile tugging at his lips. “Perfect. I can leave the car parked, and we can walk to one?”
“That sounds good.”
As the two of you walked side by side down the sidewalk, you glanced up at him. “Do you usually go to these movies alone?”
He shrugged. “Yeah. Sometimes my friends join, but most times, it’s just me.”
That made you frown slightly. You didn’t understand how someone like him, someone so interesting, so kind, could go alone so often.
“Well, now you won’t have to.” You said looking up at him. He turned his head to you, a flicker of something soft in his expression. His stomach fluttered at your words.
As you both walked, your hand brushed against his. Instinctively, you pulled it back, quickly intertwining your fingers together in front of you. “Sorry.” You murmured.
Spencer shook his head. “No, it’s fine.”
You nodded, slowly letting your hands fall back to your sides. He noticed the way you kept fidgeting.
“You don’t have to be nervous.” He said.
You blinked. “Hmm?”
He glanced at you, his brows slightly furrowed in thought. “I can tell you’re nervous.”
Your stomach tightened slightly. “How?”
“Little things.” He said simply. “Like biting your lip, looking around a lot, touching the hem of your shirt.” He pointed out each thing, and you hadn’t even realized you were doing them.
“Oh.” You laughed softly, a little embarrassed. “I just- I don’t know. This is the first time I’ve ever gone out with someone who isn’t my friend.”
Spencer tilted his head, his lips twitching up slightly. “Oh? I thought we were friends.” He teased.
Your eyes widened slightly. “No-no, we are friends! I just meant my other friends.” You rushed to explain.
He chuckled. “I know what you meant. It’s okay.”
Then, he stopped walking.
You took a few more steps before realizing and turned to face him. “What?”
He shook his head, his gaze fixed on you with something unreadable.
You frowned. “What?” You asked again, playfully nudging his shoulder.
Spencer let out a small laugh, but then his expression grew more serious. “I like hanging out with you.” He admitted. His voice was quieter now, more thoughtful.
“And I don’t want to scare you, but… the little time we’ve spent together, at the café, and now today watching this movie, it’s made me just want to be around you more.”
Your breath caught in your throat. No one has ever said something like that to you before.
Your heart pounded as you swallowed, suddenly unsure of what to say. “Oh. That’s…nice.”
Spencer’s lips pressed together, and you could tell he was waiting for something more, something deeper. And you wanted to say more, you really did. But fear gripped you.
“Spencer, I-i feel a lot of things right now.” You admit, your voice barely above a whisper. “I feel nervous, scared, excited, happy- I can really go on. But I’ve never had a male friend before, never been in a relationship, and what am I saying? I could be misinterpreting this whole situation, you meant as a friend right? Like- you don’t mean romantically want to be around me more?” You were rambling, your words spilling out before you could stop them.
Your face was flushed, ears burning.
Spencer took a small step closer.
Your breath hitched.
“I’d like to get to know you better.” He said carefully, his voice steady. “And… see where we go.”
His hand found your elbow, gently squeezing it, his touch was warm and reassuring.
Your lips parted slightly. “Really? With me?”
It felt unreal.
Unreal that anyone could possibly see you in a romantic way, no one ever has.
Spencer nodded “With you.”
You exhaled, your heart racing. “I’ve never, I’ve never been in a situation like this. No ones ever wanted something with me before.”
“Well…I do.” He gave you a small, soft smile.
Your hands trembled slightly as you rubbed your face. Your chest felt tight, and your mind raced with thoughts you couldn’t untangle.
“Spencer, you don’t understand.” You whispered, your voice barely holding steady. “I don’t know how to be with someone. I don’t know what people do when they’re getting to know each other, I don’t- I don’t know.” Your words tumbled out, laced with panic, with doubt.
Spencer took another step closer to you, his expression soft but steady. “You do.” He said gently “We do it all the time. Every time we sit together in the café, every time we talk, every time we share something about ourselves, that’s us getting to know each other.”
You swallowed, looking at him, searching for some kind of reassurance in his face. He seemed so sure of what he was saying, so certain.
“But I don’t know what I’m doing.” You admitted, your voice cracking. “I could mess it up.”
Spencer shook his head, his eyes never leaving yours. “Y/n, I’ve never been in a relationship either.” His voice was soft but unwavering. “I don’t have all the answers, I know just as much as you do. But that’s okay. We can figure it out together.”
Your breath hitched as you stared at him. He meant it, every word. There was no hesitation, no doubt in his voice.
“All we have to do.” He continued “is keep doing what we’ve been doing. Spending time together, learning more about each other. And when we’re both ready, we’ll navigate whatever comes next. There’s no pressure, no expectations… just us.”
Something inside you shifted, something warm, something terrifying, something new.
You looked into his eyes, trying to believe in what he was saying. In him.
“Okay.” You whispered
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips, his shoulders relaxing just slightly, as if he’d been waiting for that answer.
“Okay.” He echoed, as if sealing the moment between you.
For a few seconds, neither of you moved. The streetlights cast a soft glow around you, the distant hum of the city filling the silence. Then, without thinking, Spencer reached out, not hesitantly, not awkwardly, just gently, and let his fingers brush against yours.
It wasn’t a grand gesture. It wasn’t overwhelming. It was just enough. . .
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hope you guys enjoyed this one <3
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~ also if you guys want to be tagged in all of my SR fics just lmk and I would love to ~
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my-castles-crumbling · 1 month ago
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professional - february 24 - jegulus - @taylorswiftmicrofic - word count: 465
"What the fuck is this?"
Regulus looked up from his work to see James Potter storming into his office, just in time for the older man to slam a paper on his desk, fire in his eyes.
"You're- what?- firing me as a patient?"
Regulus swallowed, trying to keep his emotions in check. It had been a difficult decision, and one he hadn't taken lightly. Ever since he'd become a healer, he'd been seeing James as a patient- helping him with Quidditch-related injuries, examining him whenever he had a complaint, nursing him back to health when he was ill. At first, he'd thought it would be fine. That he could ignore his lingering feelings from school and stay professional. But things had just gotten worse, and now...well, last week there had been a close call. A moment of tension. Regulus had been only centimeters away and James had been looking at him with that trusting gaze and...
Regulus had decided to do the right thing, and pass him off to Pandora. He couldn't break James's trust like that.
"Yes," he nodded, face a careful mask. "I think she would be better equipped to handle your...care."
"Why?" James demanded, and to Regulus's utter horror, he seemed hurt. "Did I do something? Did I...?"
"No, James," Regulus replied, again keeping his tone even. "I'm your healer, and this was a medical decision. It had nothing to do with feelings." Even thought it had everything to do with feelings.
But James's desperate gaze was tugging at his heart. "So that's it, then. I thought I was imagining things, but..." he mumbled, and Regulus swore he could hear his voice break. "Fine. I'll make an appointment with her on the way out."
And Regulus should've left it there. But he never could leave things alone when it came to James Potter. So he called out, despite himself, "Imagining what?"
James turned back, face tired and sad. "Nothing, Reg. I just thought you...you might feel..." he trailed off, shrugging.
"Feel what?" he murmured, eyes locking with James's, internally begging the other man to confirm what he'd desperately hoped and dreaded was true.
"That you might...want me..." James finished, sighing, as though he was admitting something pathetic.
A burst of emotion inflated Regulus's chest, and he almost let out a little sob of relief. "Why the hell do you think I said I couldn't treat you anymore, James?" he murmured. "I couldn't keep touching you...keep seeing you like that...keep professional when I wanted to...to fucking snog you on top of my desk!"
"Oh," the other man nodded, wide-eyed. "Well...you're not treating me anymore, are you?" he asked slyly, hazel eyes brightening with interest.
It turned out, snogging on top of Regulus's desk was even better than he imagined it would be.
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talaok · 1 year ago
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Hiii! Can I request sub!peter waking u up in the middle of the night very needy? Tnks :)))
Pairing: Sub! Peter Parker x f!reader
warnings: sub! peter, unprotected p in v sex, lots of pet names for spidey, premature ejaculation (kinda), creampie, talk about oral sex (m receiving)
a/n: aaaaa i love sub peter soo much thank you love
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At first, you thought it was morning already, you thought the needy kisses on your bare back and his hips grinding onto your ass were nothing more than what it was more mornings than not: the usual way Peter woke you up.
But once you opened up your eyes, once the darkness got the better of your sight, once you watched as no sun shined through the windows, then you realized your mistake
"Baby" you croaked, taking your time turning your head back to him, sleep still fighting to keep you close
"I'm sorry" he mumbled, his lips still busy with your shoulders "I know it's late- I just-I"
His hazel eyes were on you, lust and need fogging them deeply, and his hips hadn't yet stilled, he was grinding his hard cock against your ass like you hadn't just taken care of him a few hours earlier, like a man starved.
"I think I know what the problem is" a soft smirk played on your lips as you finally turned to him
Sleep could wait a few more minutes, you decided, you were never able to resist him when he looked so damn desperate.
"I can feel it" you murmured sultry, his eyes stapled to yours while his hands followed each movement you made, not wanting to lose contact with your skin even for a second.
"what do you need baby?" you spoke once you were before him 
"I-I just- I need-"
But your hand had found the bulge in his boxers, and words stopped existing altoughether in Peter's brain
"You need me to take care of you?" you teased, your fingers seeping underneath the waistband.
You swore he was holding his breath.
"'s that it baby?" you murmured, now ghosting his lips "need me to help you out a little, mh?"
The sound- oh the sound he made when your hands found his manhood, when you conceded him just the tinies stroke... oh you could have lived on that sound alone.
"yes" he gulped "p-please I need- I-"
Peter had never been good with words around you so you took his cock out, feeling him twitch in your hand
"I-inside" was all he could whimper "p-please"
You chuckled softly, but still, you did as he wished, draping your leg over him and sliding your panties to the side
"what's got you so worked up honey?" you asked, purring gently against his mouth
"I- I had a dream"
You smiled knowingly as you guided him to your entrance.
"dirty boy" you smirked as he slowly entered you, whimpering and moaning as he shut his eyes
"s-shit- y/n-" he cried, once he was filling you all up "g-god"
"I know" you cooed, stroking the back of his head as he started thrusting sloppily in and out of you "I know baby"
His left hand was pulling down your tank top to get to your boobs, and he let out a desperate moan once he was finally able to have one of your tits in his palm.
"so what was the dream about?" you murmured, fighting your own moans.
His cheeks changed colors, red now adorning them.
"I-"
"no need to be shy now baby" you smiled, feeling his cock hit that spot deep inside you once again
"It was about- y-you"
You grinned widely at that
"'s that so?"
"mh-mh" he nodded, eager to please you
“What about me?” You asked, your fingers playing with his hair just how he liked it 
You saw his Adam's apple bob up and down as he swallowed thickly,
"y-you were" he sighed, burying his cock inside up to the hilt "You were g-going down on me" he stuttered, the pleasure he was already lost in only heightening as images from his dream crossed his mind
He whimpered as you clenched around him
"I was sucking your cock?" you taunted, making a soft fuck flee his mouth 
"y-yes"
"mh" you smirked, biting your lip "I do really like that" you murmured, mouth to his ear now "I love sucking your cock so much baby" 
A choked sound escaped him, and you could only chuckle as you kissed him right below his ear
"gonna remember that when I'm gonna wake you up this morning" you hummed
"y-y/n- f-fuck" he groaned, his thrusts even sloppier now, barely anything more than frantic desperate movements "p-please" he begged "I-I'm not gonna last if y-you"
But you didn't care, you never cared when it was like this, when it was only about him.
"don't wait for me"  
"b-but"
"don't worry about me" you whispered, leaving a soft peck on his lips "just be a good boy and cum inside me baby" 
Another moan mixed with a whimper and a twitch of his cock was his response
"can you do that for me honey?" you murmured, "can you come deep inside me?"
He was so close it was a miracle he still hadn't come.
His moans were breathless, all resembling your name or various curses, but still, he managed to say
"yes- yes, I ca-"
before he was painting your insides with his seed a moment later.
Your moans mixed with his at the feeling, and his head fell between your shoulder and neck as he cried out your name, his hips working hard to make sure every drop of him was inside you.
You continued drawing gentle patterns in his hair as he regained consciousness and caught his breath.
"thank you" was all he said once he finally raised his head to look at you
You smiled softly
"you don't need to thank me baby" you gave him a quick kiss, his hand going to your waist.
"I- I need to clean you up" he remembered, but you shook your head
"we'll think about that tomorrow, let's go back to sleep now, mh?" you suggested, and by the look of it, he was more than eager to agree.
"mh-mh" he nodded, as he scooted closer to you, his hands around you and your legs around him.
"g'night baby" you siad
"night" he mumbled, already half asleep
But as you both closed your eyes, and you started to get back into sleep's sweet embrace, you couldn't help but chuckle, as, a few moments later, you felt Peter's face nestle right between your breasts, which had apparently been chosen as his pillow for the night
"I love you" was all he was able to mumble, not even giving you time to respond before he was already dead asleep.
"I love you too honey" you said nonetheless, Peter's long breaths filling the darkness as you joined him in his sleep.
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gf2bellamy · 2 months ago
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enough — spencer reid
pairing: spencer reid x fem!reader ( no use of y/n ) summary: you don't think you're enough for spencer content warnings: mention of working on a case, feelings of insecurity / not feeling good enough, spencer and reader argue , alot of angst ( pretty much all of it) a/n: currently sick in bed :( hope you guys like this <3
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part 2
You knew Spencer Reid had feelings for you. It wasn’t exactly a well-kept secret. In fact, everyone on the team seemed to know—how could they not?
The way his gaze lingered on you just a fraction longer than anyone else, the way his words stumbled over themselves when you caught him off guard, the subtle softness in his voice when he said your name.
Spencer was careful, meticulous in everything he did, but when it came to you, his emotions were a little too obvious. 
There were the small, thoughtful gestures—the extra cup of coffee waiting on your desk when you’d been up late on a case, or the way he always seemed to know exactly when you needed a reassuring hand on your shoulder.
Then there were the bigger things, like how he always volunteered to partner with you in the field, or how he fiercely defended your theories in meetings, even when they weren't perfect. 
But maybe the most telling sign of all was the way Spencer looked at you.
Like you were the only thing in the room worth noticing.
It was like he was memorizing every detail of your face, committing you to the library of his mind. And every time he looked at you like that, a warmth bloomed in your chest—a warmth you weren’t quite ready to name, but one that you felt more often than you cared to admit. 
Penelope had asked you multiple times about the situation, her curiosity impossible to suppress. “So, when are you and Boy Genius making it official?” she’d tease, wiggling her eyebrows and leaning across your desk.
Each time, you laughed it off or deflected with a joke. “What are you talking about, Pen? Spencer and I are just friends,” you’d insist, even though the words felt more and more like a lie with every passing day. 
Pretending to be oblivious to Spencer’s feelings had once been easy. A flick of the wrist, a casual smile—it had been enough to convince everyone, including yourself, that you were completely unaware. But lately, it was getting harder.
Much harder. 
Because now, every time you caught him staring at you, every time his fingers brushed yours while passing a file, every time he leaned in just a little too close when he explained something in that excited, rambling way of his, you felt it. That same warmth in your chest, that same ache you’d been trying so hard to ignore. 
The truth was, you weren’t just aware of Spencer’s feelings for you.
You also felt the same way. 
Your fingers tapped absently against your desk, a sound that seemed to echo in the quiet bullpen. Your eyes were unfocused, fixed on nothing in particular, as your thoughts wandered far from the case files scattered in front of you. 
Across from your desk, Spencer was watching you. He tilted his head slightly, his brow furrowing in concern as he debated whether or not to say something. 
“Are you okay?” His soft voice cut through the quiet, pulling you back to the present. 
“Huh?” You jumped slightly, your hand pausing mid-tap as your head whipped around to face him. Your wide eyes met his, and for a moment, neither of you spoke.
“Oh, yeah, I’m fine,” you added quickly, your words rushing out. 
Spencer didn’t look convinced. He leaned forward just a little, resting his elbows on the edge of his desk as his gaze searched yours. “You seemed... distracted,” he said carefully. 
You laughed nervously, waving a hand as if to brush off his concern. “Just zoning out. It’s been a long day.” 
Spencer didn’t respond right away. Instead, he stared at you for a while, his hazel eyes soft but searching, like he could see through the thin veil of your words.
The weight of his gaze made your pulse quicken, and for a moment, the world seemed to slow. You swallowed hard, forcing yourself to meet his eyes. 
“I’ll be right back,” you blurted suddenly, pushing your chair back. Without waiting for a response, you rushed out of the bullpen, your footsteps echoing down the hallway until you reached the bathroom. 
Inside, you let out a breath you didn’t realize you’d been holding and stepped into the nearest stall, closing the door behind you. Sitting down on the closed toilet lid, you leaned forward, resting your elbows on your knees and your head in your hands. 
It wasn’t the first time you’d run away like this. You weren’t proud of it, but sometimes it felt easier to escape than to face the thoughts that clawed their way to the surface when Spencer was near. 
People might call you stupid.
Stupid for ignoring the feelings of someone so gentle and sweet.
Stupid for pretending not to notice how much he cared for you, how much he had done for you.
Stupid for not taking the first step when it was obvious to everyone, including you, that Spencer Reid had feelings for you. 
But it wasn’t just Spencer’s feelings, was it? No, the truth was much harder to ignore now: you had feelings for him, too.
And yet, here you were, hiding in a bathroom stall, running away from everything. 
The reason felt silly—childish, even—but it was there, and it was real.
You were scared.
Scared that if you took that step, if you let yourself fall into the warmth of what Spencer was offering, you’d ruin him.
Spencer, who was so sweet and intelligent, so thoughtful and patient. He was everything good in this world, and you couldn’t help but feel like you’d taint him with your flaws, your insecurities. 
You didn’t think you were enough for him. 
The thought sat heavy in your chest, and no matter how much you tried to push it down, it always came back.
Spencer deserved someone extraordinary, someone brilliant and perfect—someone who wasn’t you. 
Before you could stop it, a tear slipped down your cheek. 
You were so lost in your thoughts that you almost didn’t hear the bathroom door creak open. 
A familiar, soft voice called out your name.
You quickly straightened up, dabbing at your cheeks with trembling fingers, but it was no use. The tears had already left their mark. 
You opened the stall door cautiously, revealing Penelope standing there in all her vibrant glory. Her floral skirt swirled around her knees, and her cardigan was adorned with her signature pins and patches.
Her warm, concerned eyes locked onto yours the moment the door swung open. 
“There you are,” she said gently, a small smile playing on her lips as she tilted her head. “Spence sent me to check on you. He’s worried.” 
Of course he did. The thought made your chest tighten. 
“I’m fine,” you said quickly, waving a hand as if to dismiss the obvious evidence of tears. But Penelope wasn’t one to be fooled, especially not by you. 
She raised an eyebrow, stepping closer. “Sweetheart, you’re standing in a bathroom stall looking like you just had a tearful heart-to-heart with yourself, so forgive me if I don’t take ‘I’m fine’ at face value.” 
You tried to laugh, but it came out shaky and weak. “It’s just... been a long day.” 
Penelope crossed her arms, giving you that patient, knowing look that only she could manage. “I know there’s more to it than that. Spence wasn’t just worried about you zoning out—he was worried about you. And judging by those red eyes, I’m guessing he’s not wrong for being worried.” 
You sighed, leaning against the stall door for support. “It’s nothing, Pen. Really.” 
Penelope softened, she placed a comforting hand on your arm. “If it’s nothing, why were you crying?” 
For a moment, you considered brushing her off again, but something about her warmth, her openness, made you pause.
Maybe it was because she was Penelope, the team’s heart and soul, or maybe it was because a part of you was tired of holding it all in. 
“It’s... about Spencer,” you admitted finally, your voice barely above a whisper. 
Penelope’s eyes lit up in understanding, and a soft smile crept across her face. “Oh, honey. Tell me everything.” 
You let out a shaky breath, walking over to the sink and staring at your reflection. The person looking back at you seemed fragile, her emotions etched plainly on her face.
Penelope followed, standing beside you, her vibrant presence grounding you as she waited patiently for you to speak. 
“I have feelings for Spencer,” you whispered, your voice barely audible over the hum of the bathroom’s fluorescent lights. 
Penelope didn’t gasp or exclaim. She simply tilted her head and nodded, her soft smile growing into something more knowing, like she’d been waiting for you to admit it. 
“I figured as much,” she said gently, her tone free of judgment. “But what’s got you hiding out in here instead of doing something about it?” 
You met her eyes in the mirror, hesitating for a moment before answering. “Because I’m scared, Penelope.” Your fingers gripped the edge of the sink tightly. “I mean, he’s Spencer. He’s brilliant and kind. He deserves someone amazing, someone who can keep up with him. I just—I don’t think I’m enough for him.” 
Penelope frowned, her brows knitting together as she turned to face you fully. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold up. First of all, I am going to stop you right there, missy. You are more than enough for anyone, especially Spencer Reid. Don’t even try to argue with me on that.” 
You opened your mouth to protest, but she held up a finger to silence you. 
“Second,” she continued, her voice firm but still warm, “have you met Spencer? That man practically worships the ground you walk on. Do you know how rare that is? To have someone like Spencer look at you the way he does? Trust me, sweetie, he doesn’t see anyone else but you.” 
You blinked, Penelope’s words hitting you harder than you expected. “But what if I mess it up? What if I ruin everything?” 
“Sweetheart,” Penelope said, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder, “life is messy. Love is messy. But if you keep letting that fear hold you back, you’re going to miss out on something incredible. Spencer wants you. Not someone perfect, not someone else. You.” 
Her words hung in the air, wrapping around you like a warm blanket. For a moment, all you could do was stare at her, overwhelmed by her kindness and sincerity. 
“Thank you, Penelope,” you whispered, your voice soft and earnest. 
She gave you a bright, reassuring smile, squeezing your arm gently. “Don’t stay here too long, okay? Boy Genius is worried about you, and you know how he gets when he’s worried.” 
You managed a small smile, nodding as she opened the bathroom door. “I’ll be out soon.” 
“Good,” she said with a wink, stepping out into the hallway. The door swung shut behind her, leaving you alone once again. 
You turned back to the mirror, your reflection staring back at you with the same doubts you’d walked in with. Penelope’s words were honest, comforting, and so full of truth that they made your chest ache. And yet... the doubts didn’t leave. 
They stayed. 
What if Penelope was wrong? What if you tried, and it all came crashing down, leaving your friendship in ruins? 
You pressed your lips together, inhaling a shaky breath. There was a part of you—a small, fragile part—that wanted to believe Penelope.
But the larger, louder part of you couldn’t let go of the fear. 
“Get it together,” you muttered to yourself, gripping the sink tightly. 
You couldn’t stay in this bathroom forever, hiding from the man waiting for you outside.
The man who cared enough to send someone after you when you disappeared.
The man who had always been there, quietly offering you the kind of unconditional support you never thought you deserved. 
And yet, your feet felt like they were cemented to the floor. 
The days that followed felt heavier, even after Penelope’s heartfelt pep talk. Her words lingered in your mind like an echo, but they weren’t enough to silence the whirlwind of emotions.
Everything seemed harder now that you’d acknowledged your feelings—now that you couldn’t hide from the truth. 
Sometimes, it felt like your heart was about to burst with how much love you held for Spencer.
You’d catch yourself staring at him across the bullpen, watching the way his lips moved as he explained something in that fast, excitable way of his, or the way his fingers traced invisible patterns on the edge of a file when he was deep in thought. 
And then there were the moments when you were near him—too near. Your hands would tremble when they brushed his by accident, or your breath would hitch when his cologne lingered in the air between you.
But you didn’t do anything about it. 
You convinced yourself it was for the best, that keeping things the way they were was safer. You couldn’t risk crossing that line and ruining the friendship you’d come to treasure so much. 
Still, there were cracks in your resolve. 
You weren’t sure how long you could keep this up—pretending you didn’t feel what you felt, pretending you didn’t want to close the gap between you and let yourself fall. 
One day, the tension came to a head while you and Spencer were working on the geographic profile to catch an unsub. The bullpen was unusually quiet, the rest of the team out gathering leads.
It was just the two of you, standing side by side in front of the board, the scent of coffee and marker ink filling the air. 
You reached for the same photo pinned to the board—a shot of a potential target area—and your fingers brushed his.
It was barely a touch, but it sent a jolt up your arm, and you immediately pulled back as if burned. 
“Sorry,” you mumbled quickly, your voice barely above a whisper. You avoided his gaze, letting him take the picture as you stepped back. Not just one step—several, putting unnecessary distance between the two of you. 
Spencer hesitated, holding the picture in his hand as his eyes flicked to you. His brows furrowed slightly, concern shadowing his expression as he noticed how much space you’d suddenly created between you. 
“Are you okay?” he asked, his voice soft and careful, like he was afraid of startling you. 
Your throat tightened. “I’m fine,” you said, the words automatic and unconvincing. 
Spencer wasn’t buying it. He tilted his head, his gaze searching yours in that way that always made you feel like he could see right through you.
“You’ve been... distant,” he said, his tone gentle. “Not just today, but for a while now.” 
You froze, your heartbeat quickening. “I don’t know what you mean,” you said, even though the words felt hollow in your mouth. 
He stepped closer, closing some of the space you’d put between you, his eyes never leaving yours. “Did I do something wrong?” he asked, his voice laced with uncertainty. “If I did, I—I’m sorry. I don’t want you to feel like you can’t be around me.” 
Your chest tightened painfully at the vulnerability in his voice. The idea that he thought he had done something wrong, that he might blame himself for the distance you’d created, made your stomach twist with guilt. 
“No, Spencer,” you said quickly, shaking your head. "It's just work has been getting to me.”
You turned away quickly, pretending to focus on the map pinned to the board. Your heart hammered in your chest as you felt Spencer’s eyes linger on you for a moment longer before he finally turned back to his own work. 
He let it go—for now. 
Later that evening, you were back in your hotel room, sprawled on the bed with the TV remote in hand. The case was successfully closed, the unsub in custody, but the team had decided to stay one more night before flying home.
You flipped aimlessly through the channels, barely registering the images flashing on the screen. Nothing held your attention for more than a few seconds, and the quiet hum of the TV did little to drown out your thoughts. 
With a loud yawn, you tossed the remote aside, letting it land on the bed. You leaned back against the headboard, staring at the ceiling.  
Then came a knock at your door. 
Slowly, you got up, smoothing down your clothes as you walked to the door. 
When you opened it, your breath caught. 
Spencer stood there, hands in his pockets, his expression a mix of nervousness and determination. He was still in his dress shirt and slacks, his tie loosened just enough to suggest he’d been pacing or thinking too much, as he often did.
His hazel eyes met yours, and you saw a flicker of hesitation before he finally spoke. 
“Hey,” he said softly, his voice gentle but steady. 
“Spencer?” you asked, your voice barely above a whisper. “What are you doing here?” 
“I—I need to talk to you,” he said, his voice laced with hesitation. He shifted his weight nervously, his hands fidgeting in his pockets. “Can I come in?” 
You stared at him, your heart racing as you tried to decipher the look in his eyes. Finally, you nodded, stepping aside to let him in.
As the door clicked shut behind him, you took a couple of deep breaths, trying to prepare yourself for whatever he wanted to talk about.
Turning back around, you walked a few steps toward him, stopping just a short distance away. You were close enough to notice the way his chest rose and fell with each breath, the tension in his posture as he stood there, clearly working through whatever thoughts were racing in his mind. 
You found yourself fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, your fingers twisting and untwisting the fabric as you waited for him to speak.
Finally, Spencer cleared his throat, his eyes meeting yours. “I’ve been trying to figure out how to say this,” he began, his voice soft but steady. “And I know I’ve been overthinking it, probably more than I should. But I—I couldn’t keep waiting.” 
Your fingers stilled, your breath catching as his words hung in the air. 
“I’ve noticed you pulling away,” he continued, his brows furrowing slightly. “And I’ve been trying to tell myself that maybe I was imagining it, but... I don’t think I am.” He paused, his gaze searching yours. “Are you sure I didn't do something wrong? Because if I did, I’ll fix it—I want to fix it.” 
The sincerity in his voice made your chest tighten, guilt and affection warring within you. “No, Spencer,” you said quickly, shaking your head. “You didn’t do anything wrong.” 
He looked relieved for a moment, but the tension didn’t fully leave his face. “Then what is it? Because I feel like there’s something you’re not telling me.” 
His honesty was disarming, his vulnerability leaving you with nowhere to hide. You opened your mouth, then closed it again, the words caught in your throat. 
“It’s... complicated,” you finally managed, your voice barely audible. 
Silence stretched out between you, thick and heavy. Spencer stood still, watching you intently, as if trying to piece together a puzzle he couldn’t quite solve. His gaze flicked to your hands, noticing how they still fidgeted nervously with your clothes. 
And then he spoke. 
“I’m in love with you,” he said, the words falling from his lips so suddenly and so earnestly that they cut through the air like a blade. 
Your hands stilled immediately, your breath hitching as you raised your head to meet his eyes. The room seemed to shrink around you, everything else fading into the background as his words echoed in your ears. 
You hadn’t expected him to say it. Not like that. Not so bluntly, with no preamble or hesitation. And now, faced with the weight of his confession, you found yourself frozen, unsure of what to do or say. 
Spencer’s eyes darted nervously, meeting yours and then flicking away before returning.
He was waiting—for your answer, your reaction, anything. 
But you couldn’t bring yourself to speak, your mind racing too fast to form a coherent response. 
The silence stretched on, and you saw something shift in his expression. Disappointment. 
“I’m sorry,” he began, his voice tight, the hurt evident as he took a small step back. “I shouldn’t have—” 
“Stop,” you said, shaking your head, cutting him off mid-sentence. 
Spencer froze, his eyes wide and uncertain as he looked at you. 
“Don’t apologize,” you said softly, your voice trembling but resolute. You took a shaky breath.
You weren’t sure what to say to him, honestly. It was like your heart was trying to escape from your chest, but the words just wouldn’t come out. 
You looked at Spencer, his hair falling into his face just the way it always did when he was anxious or lost in thought. You had this overwhelming urge to reach out, to gently push his hair back behind his ear, but you didn’t.
Instead, you just stood there, staring at him, feeling more unsure than ever. 
"Spence, look, I—" you started, your voice faltering as you tried to gather your thoughts. 
His eyes were fixed on yours, waiting. He was so patient, so willing, and it made your chest tighten even more. You tried again, your words tumbling out as you fought to explain. 
“I didn’t want to mess things up with you. I’ve been scared that if I told you how I feel, it would ruin everything. Because... you deserve someone better than me, Spencer. You deserve someone who can give you the world, who can keep up with you... not someone like me.”
You caught yourself, blinking rapidly as the words tumbled out of you, not sure if you were even making sense anymore.
But it was like you couldn’t stop.
“I’ll ruin you, Spencer. I’ll drag you into my mess, and you’ll wake up one day and realize you could’ve had someone better. Someone who doesn’t second-guess every little thing or put up walls because they’re too scared to let anyone in.”
“That’s not how I see you,” Spencer said, his voice soft as he took a step closer to you. “You’re not a mess. You’re not some burden I’d have to carry. You’re—”
“Stop,” you cut him off, shaking your head as tears pricked at your eyes. “You don’t get it. You think I’m this... this version of me that you’ve built up in your head, but I’m not that person. I’m not perfect. I’m not enough.”
“Stop saying that!” His voice rose slightly, the frustration finally breaking through. You looked at him, startled, as he ran a hand through his hair. “You keep telling me what I should feel, what I deserve, like you get to decide that for me. But you don’t. I know what I want, and it’s you.”
“Spencer—”
“No, let me finish,” he said, stepping closer. “I don’t care about perfect, okay? I don’t care about whatever doubts you have about yourself, because none of that changes the fact that I love you. I love you for you, not some idealized version. And if you think for one second that I’m going to stand here and let you push me away because of some fear that you’re not ‘enough,’ then you don’t know me as well as I thought.”
His words hit you like a wave, but instead of feeling comforted, you felt overwhelmed. The emotions swirling between you both—the love, the fear, the frustration—felt like too much all at once.
“You’re not listening to me,” you said, your voice rising. “You think this is just me being insecure, but it’s not. This is me being realistic. You deserve someone who doesn’t bring you down, someone who doesn’t doubt themselves every time they look in the mirror.”
Spencer’s jaw tightened, his hands balling into fists at his sides. “You’re the one bringing yourself down, not me. You’re the one who thinks you’re not good enough, but that’s not the truth. It’s your fear talking, not reality.”
“And maybe my fear is right,” you shot back, your voice cracking. “Maybe it’s telling me what I already know—that you’re too good for me, and I can’t be what you need.”
He stared at you, his jaw clenched, his chest rising and falling as he took a deep breath. “You think you’re protecting me by pushing me away, but you’re not. You’re just hurting both of us,” he said, his voice quiet but sharp. “You’re the only one who’s ever made me feel like this—like I’m not alone. Like I’m more than just... me. And I’m not going to let you stand there and tell me you’re not enough.”
The room felt suffocating, the tension between you crackling like a live wire.
But still, the doubt clung to you, thick and unrelenting. “Spencer, I just... I can’t,” you whispered, your voice barely audible.
His shoulders slumped slightly, the frustration in his eyes giving way to something softer—something sad. “I don’t know how to convince you,” he said quietly, his voice tinged with defeat. “But I can’t force you to believe me.”
For a moment, he just stood there, silent and still, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.
“I don’t know what else to say,” he finally murmured, his voice low and filled with a quiet hurt that made your chest ache.
You opened your mouth to respond, but no words came. You felt paralyzed, the fear and doubt swirling inside you.
Spencer looked back up at you, his hazel eyes searching yours one last time, as if hoping to find something—anything—that might give him a reason to stay.
When he didn’t, a faint, bittersweet smile tugged at the corners of his lips.
“Goodnight,” he said softly, his voice barely above a whisper.
And then he turned, walking toward the door with a heaviness in his steps that you’d never seen before.
Your heart twisted as you watched him reach for the handle, every fiber of your being screaming at you to stop him, to say something, to fix this.
But the words refused to come.
Spencer paused for a fraction of a second as he opened the door, his back to you. It felt like time stood still. Then he stepped out, quietly closing the door behind him.
The sound of the latch clicking into place was deafening.
You stood there for what felt like an eternity, staring at the closed door, your chest tight and your head spinning. The room felt unbearably empty without him.
And yet, you didn’t move. You couldn’t.
Instead, you sank onto the edge of the bed, burying your face in your hands as the tears you’d been holding back finally broke free.
You didn’t know what hurt more—the fear that you’d pushed him away for good or the possibility that you’d been wrong about everything.
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jacquitries · 1 month ago
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In This Life and The Next | J.P.
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You were Harry Potter’s best friend, but loss drove you to steal a Time-Turner which accidentally trapped you in the past — before Harry, before the war.
You swore to keep your distance, but James Potter makes that impossible. The past wasn’t meant to hold you, and falling for him was never part of the plan. And yet you did anyway.
(Due to popular demand, I have made a part 2 as well haha. You may read it here.)
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The weight of the past clings to you like a ghost. You were the hidden fourth member of the so-called Golden Trio, an irony that never ceased to amuse you. A Slytherin among Gryffindors, careful with your image, wary of the ever-watchful eyes of your housemates. Most never associated you with them—not in the day-to-day sense—but when the battles came, you were there.
Until it all fell apart.
Fifth year was meant to be another battle fought in the shadows, Another war where your role remained unseen, unnoticed.
But the fight at the Ministry of Magic exposed you. Your parents saw the truth. Saw where your loyalty truly lay as you stood beside Harry, wand raised, defying everything they had tried to make you be.
And then Sirius was gone.
Harry was shattered. You had already lost Cedric the year before, now you had lost Sirius too; and the war had only just begun.
You should have been smarter. You should have been careful.
But in the deafening quiet of loss, desperation clawed at your throat. And so, the Time-Turner was yours.
Or it had been. Before Filch’s mangy cat caught a whiff of your presence, Before the old squib’s voice rang out like a death sentence, Before you turned too quickly, and the fragile magic of time cracked beneath your fingertips.
A light, too bright to comprehend. A force, too strong to fight. And then, silence.
When you wake, the air is wrong. It’s thinner, richer, Like Hogwarts itself has taken a breath it hasn’t in years. Your body knows before your mind does.
The halls stretch before you, Unchanged yet entirely foreign. Time has unraveled, and you with it.
Dumbledore. You need Dumbledore.
Your feet take off before you can even process, A silent incantation for speed, A wish against all logic that this is just a dream. A terrible, cruel trick of fate.
Then, four figures round the corner. Books clutched in their hands, laughter bright as the sun—
You don’t have time to stop. And neither do they.
Impact. A tumble of limbs, parchment scattering like autumn leaves, And suddenly, you are staring into a pair of hazel flecked with gold. Obscured behind glass, but still shining. Still burning.
He’s beneath you, startled and wide-eyed, chest rising, breath mingling with your own. For a moment, the world tilts. And then you remember where you are.
You shove yourself up, heart hammering, muttering a curt, "Sorry." A flick of your hand, a rush of raw magic. Every book, every page, lifts into the air, Falling back into their arms as if nothing had ever happened.
"How—?"
You don’t stay to hear the end of the question. Their voices chase after you, stunned, breathless.
"Wait!" "Come back!"
But you are already gone, racing towards an office where a wizard waits. The gargoyle shifts with a whispered password— Sherbet Lemon. And then—
Dumbledore’s eyes twinkle with quiet understanding, A knowing smile curving his lips as he watches you catch your breath.
"To whom," he says, voice like an old melody, "Do I owe the pleasure of meeting?"
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
You sit across from Dumbledore, his piercing blue eyes studying you with the quiet patience of a man who has seen far too much. There’s no point in holding anything back. You’ve learned the hard way that the old wizard always knows more than he lets on. So you lay it all out—the Ministry, your parents, the Time-Turner, the light, the fall through time. Everything.
He listens without interruption, nodding in places, steepling his fingers as he considers your words. When you finish, he reaches for the remnants of your shattered Time-Turner. His expression turns grave as he turns it over in his palm.
“This,” he says, “is beyond repair, at least by conventional means.”
You swallow hard, gripping the arms of your chair. The weight of his words settles over you like a stone. You had held onto the hope, however slim, that fixing it would be a simple matter. That there would be some ancient magic, some forgotten spell, something that could set this all right. But Dumbledore’s voice leaves no room for false hope.
“Other Time-Turners exist, of course,” he continues, “but using them while already displaced in time could be… catastrophic. It is a risk we cannot take.”
You stare at him, your mind racing. “Then what am I supposed to do?”
Dumbledore smiles gently. “For now, you will remain here. You must be cautious. The future you know is still in flux. If we are to find a way to send you back without unraveling the very fabric of time, it will take patience and great care.”
You exhale, trying to keep the panic at bay. “And what am I supposed to do in the meantime?”
“You will be a student,” he says simply. “Blend in, keep your head down, and trust that I will do my utmost to find a way forward for you.”
He pauses, then adds, “You are, as it turns out, approximately twenty years early. Voldemort’s influence is growing, but war has not yet darkened these halls.”
The knowledge does little to comfort you. The storm is brewing. You’re stuck in the past, an era on the cusp of war. And the people you know—the people you love—are either mere children or not even born yet.
“To help you adjust, I will have the fifth-year Slytherin prefect assist you,” Dumbledore says, rising from his seat and moving toward his fireplace. He tosses a handful of powder into the flames, calling out, “Evan Rosier.”
You recognize the name instantly. A Slytherin. A future Death Eater. A name written in blood and war.
Moments later, a tall, dark-haired boy steps into the office. He carries himself with an easy confidence, his sharp eyes scanning you with curiosity before flicking toward Dumbledore.
“Ah, Professor,” Evan greets, his voice rich with charm. “How may I be of assistance?”
Dumbledore gestures toward you. “Miss Y/L/N is a transfer student joining us rather late in the year. I trust you’ll help her find her footing?”
Evan turns his full attention to you, flashing an effortless smile. “Well, well. A new face in Slytherin. Don’t worry, darling, you’re in good hands.”
You eye him warily, but there’s no hostility in his gaze, only amusement. You nod, allowing yourself a small, relieved smile. Whatever else he may become, right now, he’s your best chance at surviving this timeline.
The next morning, Evan proves to be as good as his word. He introduces you to his friends—pureblooded Slytherins with sharp smiles and sharper tongues. They are polite but distant, willing to accept your presence without prying into your past. A blessing.
You settle into the routine easily enough. Classes are familiar, though your mind often drifts. You don’t need to listen; you’ve already learned all of this. Instead, you lose yourself in thoughts of how to return to your own time.
You barely notice the group of Gryffindor boys across the room at first, though they certainly notice you. They whisper amongst themselves, occasionally glancing in your direction.
“She’s not in any of our classes,” one of them murmurs.
“Must be a transfer,” another says. “Or a Ministry kid.”
“Doesn’t look like she belongs with the snakes.”
The dark-haired one with glasses tilts his head, studying you as if trying to place if he has seen you before. The one beside him, lounging with an easy smirk, murmurs something you don’t catch, his expression amused. Another, quieter boy watches you with a thoughtful look, while the last fidgets in his seat.
It’s only when Professor Slughorn calls your name that you snap out of your daze.
“Miss Y/L/N, perhaps you’d like to share with the class how one might enhance a Draught of Peace?”
The answer comes to you instantly, your voice steady as you list the ingredients and the precise modifications required to strengthen the potion’s effects. The class falls silent. Even Slughorn looks impressed.
“Well done, well done!” he exclaims. “Such advanced knowledge! You must have had an excellent education before coming here.”
You nod absently, but your attention shifts to the boys, who are now watching you with more interest than before. The smirking one nudges his friend, saying something under his breath. You don’t care enough to wonder what.
Over the next few days, you begin to notice one of them more than the others. The black-haired one—the one with the smirk. Every time you pass them in the halls, he calls out to you.
It starts as playful comments, harmless teasing, but soon it shifts to outright attempts to get you to talk. You ignore him. You never try to learn his name.
Eventually, they corner you in the courtyard, cutting off your escape with easy grins and folded arms. You tense, but they don’t seem hostile—just insufferably persistent.
“So,” the smirking one drawls, tilting his head, “are you going to tell us your life story, or do we have to guess?”
“I prefer my privacy,” you say coolly.
The quiet one studies you with careful curiosity, while the smallest of them shifts nervously on his feet. The one with glasses leans against a pillar, watching you with barely concealed amusement.
“Fair enough,” he says. “At least tell us your name.”
You hesitate. There’s something familiar about two of them—the smirking one and the quiet one. A nagging feeling at the edge of your mind, something just out of reach.
“Only if you tell me yours first.”
The one with glasses grins. “James Potter.”
Your breath catches.
“Sirius Black,” the smirking one adds.
“Remus Lupin,” the quiet one says with a polite nod.
“Peter Pettigrew,” the last one murmurs.
The names hit you like a stunning spell.
James Potter. Sirius Black. Remus Lupin. Peter Pettigrew.
The Marauders.
Something clicks into place. You stare at them, your mind racing. You were supposed to keep your head down. Lay low. Follow Dumbledore’s instructions.
But looking at them now, knowing what’s to come—the war, the betrayals, the deaths—an idea takes root.
Maybe you can change things.
Maybe they don’t have to suffer the way they were meant to.
Maybe you don’t have to let history repeat itself.
You step forward, closing the distance between you, and this time, when you look at them, you allow yourself to truly see them. The boys they are. The men they will become.
And then, you smile—your brightest, most dazzling smile, the one that catches them off guard. The one that makes Sirius falter, James’ confidence flicker, Remus’ breath hitch, and Peter’s ears burn red.
“My name is Y/N,” you say, offering your hand to Sirius but letting your gaze sweep over all of them. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”
For a moment, they’re stunned into silence. Then, Sirius recovers first, a slow, intrigued smirk curling on his lips as he takes your hand.
“Oh,” he murmurs, voice softer than before, “this is going to be fun.”
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The Marauders welcomed you into their world with open arms, though not without reason. Your talent in spellcraft and potions—your effortless way of turning theory into something tangible—left them in awe. Sirius, ever the audacious flirt, found your sharp tongue amusing; Remus, the quiet intellectual, respected your mind; Peter admired you from the sidelines. But James... James was something else entirely.
Among them, it was James you understood best. Perhaps it was the echo of a friendship once sacred in another life, or perhaps it was something far more complicated. There was an unspoken rhythm between you, a seamless give and take that made you forget, if only for a moment, that he was meant for someone else. That he had chosen a different ending to his story.
There were moments—fragments of time suspended between heartbeats—where you could swear he felt something for you. The way his gaze lingered a second too long, the way his laughter softened when it was only for you. But you never let yourself believe in those fleeting instances. You knew better. You knew James Potter belonged to Lily Evans.
You watched as he continued his pursuit, his flirtation with her a daily ritual. And though Lily rejected him time and time again, James never faltered, never seemed wounded by the refusals. He laughed them off as if they were nothing more than a game. It was strange—how his persistence never wavered, how he seemed entirely unbothered by her dismissals.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
Evan Rosier was a puzzle in his own right. You had grown close despite the lines that should have kept you apart. He did not fit the mold of a Death Eater, at least not in the way you had always imagined. He questioned your loyalty to the Marauders but never pressed. He was observant, though—far too perceptive for your liking.
"You act as if he's untouchable," Evan mused one evening, his voice low. "As if you've already decided how this ends. But tell me—did he ever say you couldn't touch him? Or is it that you've never even tried?"
You scoffed, shaking your head, unwilling to engage in his mind games. "It doesn’t matter. He belongs to Lily."
"And yet, you watch him like you wish he didn’t."
You ignored him. But his words lodged themselves into the cracks of your resolve, and for weeks, they lingered.
Then came the morning everything changed.
James had asked Lily to Hogsmeade again, only to be met with the usual rejection. But this time, she laughed, saying, "The only way I’d say yes to you is if Y/N says yes to Sirius."
A joke. A meaningless quip. But Sirius, ever the performer, turned to you with a smirk and asked for a date to Hogsmeade.
And to the Great Hall’s utter shock, you said yes.
Sirius blinked, stunned, before breaking into a delighted grin. James choked on his water. You paid it no mind.
"Are you serious?" James asked, voice strained.
You smirked. "No, he is. But yes, I’m serious."
Sirius, unable to contain his excitement, immediately turned to Lily. "There you have it! A double date it is!"
James looked... lost.
His easy confidence, the unshakable bravado he always wore like armor, faltered. His grin didn’t quite reach his eyes, his fingers tightening ever so slightly around his goblet. For the first time, he seemed unsure. Caught between surprise and something else, something unreadable.
"You’re joking," he said, but there was no laughter in his voice.
You tilted your head. "Do I look like I’m joking?"
Sirius let out a bark of laughter, clapping James on the back. "Looks like Evans is finally giving you a chance, Prongs! And all it took was a little friendly motivation."
James barely reacted. His grip tightened around his goblet, knuckles going white. For a moment, he looked as though he wanted to say something, wanted to protest, but the words never came.
You took a sip of your pumpkin juice, pretending the way he stiffened didn’t make your chest feel unbearably tight.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The day of the Hogsmeade trip arrived, and an unsettling feeling crept into your chest. To see James with Lily—it made you feel sick. You couldn’t do this. You weren’t meant to be part of this story, not like this.
So you asked Evan for a favor.
When the Marauders arrived at the courtyard, Lily was already there, nervously smoothing her robes. James had taken longer than usual to get ready that morning—Sirius had noticed. James had asked too many questions. Questions about you.
Evan approached them, hands in his pockets, looking wholly unbothered. "She’s not coming," he said simply. "Feeling under the weather. Told me to pass the message."
James went rigid. "What do you mean, not coming?"
Evan shrugged. "What I said."
And then, before anyone could react, James was gone, his feet carrying him toward the castle without a second thought.
Lily stared after him, stunned. Sirius exhaled slowly, exchanging a knowing glance with Remus. "Well," he muttered. "That explains that."
In the hospital wing, you lay in bed, feigning sleep, when the doors slammed open. James stormed in, eyes wild, chest rising and falling as if he had just run the entire way.
You blinked. "James?"
He let out a breath, as though only now allowing himself to breathe. "Are you okay?"
"It’s just a bug, James. Madame Pomfrey’s already on it." You studied him, confused. "What are you doing here?"
Before he could stop himself, the words tumbled out—raw, instinctive.
"Because you're more important."
Silence.
His own words seemed to catch up with him, his breath hitching as the weight of them settled between you. But then, as if steadying himself, he said it again. Quieter this time, but with even more certainty.
"You're more important."
The world stilled.
Neither of you moved, neither of you dared to break whatever fragile thing had just shifted between you. But then, without another word, James pulled up a chair and sat beside your bed, as if it were the most natural thing in the world. And just like that, the Hogsmeade trip was forgotten.
The words he had spoken still hung in the air, unanswered, undeniable. But neither of you spoke of them. Not yet.
And so, you spent the day together, in quiet understanding.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The air between you and James had changed. It wasn’t obvious, not something others would immediately notice, but you felt it in the way his gaze lingered just a moment longer than before. In the way his teasing remarks had softened, uncertainty peeking through the cracks of his confidence. In the way your pulse stumbled whenever he brushed past you along the halls, warmth radiating from where his fingers barely touched your sleeve.
You never spoke of that night.
Never spoke of how his voice wavered when he said your name, or how the weight of his words still hung in the air between you, suspended in time, unresolved. But it was there. In every sidelong glance, in the way he hesitated before speaking, in the uncharacteristic silence that followed moments when he should have been boasting, laughing, filling the space with his usual bravado.
Instead, there was hesitation. A quiet uncertainty that made him different from the James Potter everyone knew.
And then one evening, as you lingered in the library, the candles burning low and the soft rustle of parchment filling the quiet, James leaned in, voice lower than usual, almost hesitant.
"Come with me tomorrow night. Just us."
His words were simple, but they carried weight. There was no teasing lilt, no playful grin—just James, asking, waiting.
And because he looked at you like that, like you were something precious, something worth waiting for, you found yourself saying yes.
The smile that broke across his face was unguarded, wide and bright, and for a moment, just a moment, you let yourself enjoy it.
You spent the next day preparing, carefully picking out what to wear, ensuring you looked your best without making it obvious you had tried. Before heading out, you ran into Evan, who gave you a knowing look the second he saw you.
"It's not what you think," you said quickly, adjusting your cloak as if that would somehow make your words sound more believable.
Evan only hummed, crossing his arms. "You need to stop bullshitting me. And yourself."
His words hit harder than you expected, giving you pause. But you shook it off, refusing to let them settle.
James was waiting for you.
And when you arrived at the Astronomy Tower, you found that he had set up a candlelit dinner, the soft glow casting golden light over the stone walls. He had put effort into this, into making this night something memorable. And it was.
You laughed more than you had in weeks. He made you forget, even if just for a little while. But James could always read you, and when your laughter quieted, when something flickered behind your eyes, he noticed.
"It’s nothing," you said, shaking your head.
James studied you, his expression softening. "That’s not true. I see it. And I want to understand because…"
A breath. A hesitation. Then, quieter, steadier:
"Because I’ve fallen in love with you. Irrevocably. Helplessly. In a way I never saw coming and can’t seem to stop."
His words stole the air from your lungs. You were stunned, frozen in place, but then—
Then he moved, slowly, hesitantly, closing the distance between you. His hand was warm when it brushed against yours, his gaze flickering to your lips, seeking permission. And you let him.
Until you couldn’t.
Until the memories crashed into you like a wave—memories of Harry, of the stories, of everything that had been written and everything that was meant to be.
You pushed him away.
James staggered back, eyes wide, hurt flashing across his face. "I—sorry, I didn't mean to—was that too fast?"
"No!" You rushed to say, your hands trembling. "It's not you, James. You’re perfect. It’s just… I can’t have you."
Confusion twisted his features, and he took a step closer. "Yes, you can. Because you already have my heart."
Tears burned at the edges of your vision. You shook your head. "James… I need to tell you something. The truth."
And so you did. You told him everything.
That you were from the future. That history had already been written, and that in it, he was meant to be with Lily Evans. That you were never supposed to be here, in this time, in his life.
He believed you. He believed you were from the future, but what he couldn’t believe was that he would ever choose Lily over you.
"No," he said, shaking his head. "I don’t care what’s supposed to happen. I don’t care what some other version of me chose. This me—the me standing in front of you—can’t imagine any future that doesn’t have you in it."
"You have to," you whispered. "Because we were never meant to be."
You turned to leave, but James caught your wrist, his grip desperate. "Please," he pleaded, voice breaking. "Don’t go."
"Let me go, James," you whispered. "Please."
And the moment he saw the tears in your eyes, he did.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
When you returned to your common room, Evan was waiting for you. He didn’t ask what happened. He just pulled you into his arms, and you let him, burying your face in his shoulder as the weight of the night crashed down on you.
Fifteen minutes passed before he finally spoke.
"Dumbledore asked for you."
Your breath hitched. You knew what that meant.
You freshened up, steeling yourself for what was to come, and went to Dumbledore’s office. He greeted you with kind eyes, telling you that the way back was ready—but that you had a few days to say your goodbyes if you wished.
But you hesitated.
"What if I stayed?" you asked, the words slipping out before you could stop them.
Dumbledore studied you, thoughtful. "The laws of time travel suggest that what has happened before will happen again," he mused. "But in your case, I am not certain. Perhaps the previous timeline would cease to exist. But tell me—are you truly willing to leave the people you once knew for the ones you have now?"
And there it was. The question you had been avoiding.
Because if you stayed, Harry might never exist. And that was something you could never risk.
"What happens to everyone here when I leave?" you asked instead.
Dumbledore sighed. "I suspect they will forget you. As if you never existed."
Your heart clenched, but maybe… maybe that was for the best.
You swallowed. "Then let's get it over with."
You twisted the Time-Turner. The world spun, magic crackling in the air, and when it stilled, you were back in your rightful time—twenty years later, in Dumbledore’s office.
He stepped out, his gaze falling on you with quiet understanding.
"I take it my past self was of some help?" he asked.
You nodded. Your voice was barely above a whisper. "Do you remember me? From twenty years ago?"
Dumbledore's smile was sad. "I’m afraid I do not."
And with that, you knew.
James had forgotten you.
Sirius. Remus. Even Evan. None of them would remember.
But you steeled yourself. You had made your choice and you need to find out if he made it out alive. If all of them made it.
So you turned away and went to find Harry.
Because now, after everything, you needed to see him more than ever.
The Great Hall buzzed with idle chatter and the occasional clang of cutlery against plates. The ceiling mirrored the grey clouds above, a prelude to a storm. You walked through the long tables, your steps slow, measured, yet drawn forward by an unseen force. And then you saw them—Harry, Hermione, and Ron, their familiar forms hunched together in easy conversation over a half-finished meal.
Your lips parted before you could think. "Harry."
He looked up at the sound of your voice, eyebrows raised in a question he never got to ask. You closed the distance between you in a heartbeat, wrapping your arms around him before he could say a word. He stiffened for only a second before his arms came around you, warm and firm, holding you as if he knew, somehow, that you needed this more than words. It was the feeling of coming home after a long journey, of stepping inside to a crackling fireplace and a cup of hot cocoa waiting on the table. A safe haven in human form.
You pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him. Really look at him.
And what you saw sent a tremor through your bones.
He had his mother’s eyes—there was no mistaking that. But the rest of him…
His jawline wasn’t his father’s. His nose was longer, sharper. His cheekbones more defined, the shadows cast upon them a different kind of familiar.
"Is that really you?"
He gave you a lopsided smile. "In the flesh."
But he could sense something in your expression. A flicker of unease, a question you hadn’t yet found the courage to voice. He glanced at Ron and Hermione before turning back to you. "Let’s take a walk."
You barely registered Hermione’s inquisitive gaze or Ron’s mouth opening in protest before Harry had already abandoned his half-eaten lunch. You followed him, feet moving on instinct, the weight in your chest growing heavier with each step. The corridors of Hogwarts stretched endlessly before you, silent save for the distant echoes of moving staircases and portraits whispering in the background.
For a while, you simply walked, letting the quiet settle like dust on old memories. Then, Harry spoke first.
"Are you okay?"
You exhaled. "It's been a long day."
Your eyes flickered to him again, studying him, mapping his features like an unsolved puzzle.
"Harry… is it truly you?"
He stopped walking, turning to face you fully. "Yes. Of course, it's me. What makes you thing otherwise?"
Your fingers lifted before you could think. You traced them over his face. His cheekbones, his jaw, the slope of his nose. He didn’t flinch, didn’t pull away. He knew you needed to do this. And so he let you.
"You look different," you murmured. "Except for your eyes. You still have—"
"My mother’s eyes," he finished for you, a knowing glint in his gaze. "Yeah, I know. Everyone in my family, including my own mum, never shuts up about it."
Your breath caught. "Your family? Your mom?"
He blinked at you as if you’d just asked if the sun still rose in the east. "Yeah. You just saw her last holiday break when you visited me after spending Christmas with your family."
The world tilted beneath your feet.
His mother was alive.
Your stomach twisted as memories crashed into you, clashing, overlapping, rewriting themselves in real time. It was like two versions of history were vying for dominance in your mind, forcing their way into the cracks of your consciousness.
"Your dad is…" The words left you unsteady, a whisper in the storm.
Harry’s response came easily, like it was common knowledge. "Snape."
Your breath hitched. Your hands trembled at your sides. He must have noticed because he chuckled slightly, shaking his head. "Ex-husband, actually. Mum was smart enough to leave him."
Your mind was a tempest now, an unrelenting tide pulling you under. And then, a name burst from your lips before you could stop it.
"What about James?"
Harry’s brows furrowed. "James? You mean my godfather, James? I see him from time to time at reunions, but he's busy being a big-shot Auror."
You didn’t know what to feel. Relief? Confusion? Grief for something that no longer existed—or had never existed at all?
Harry watched you, his expression shifting to something softer, more understanding. "We’re having a reunion this summer at Sirius’s place. If you’d like to come… I could ask my mum."
You hesitated. Did you want to see him? The James Potter you remembered wasn’t this world’s James Potter. He wouldn’t even remember you.
But you knew it would eat you alive not to go.
So you swallowed the lump in your throat, steadied yourself, and nodded.
"Yeah. I’d like that."
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The reunion was in full swing by the time you and Harry arrived, and almost immediately, the whispers began.
"Harry finally brought a date," someone chuckled.
"They look good together, don’t they?" another murmured.
You and Harry exchanged an amused glance. It had started the moment you walked in together—an assumption neither of you bothered to correct. Secure in your friendship, you merely laughed it off, neither confirming nor denying.
But beneath the surface, your mind was elsewhere.
Would he come?
Harry, perceptive as ever, noticed the way your fingers tightened around your drink, how your laughter was a little too light. The first time he had ever seen you nervous.
"Do you want me to ask?" he offered gently.
You hesitated but nodded.
Harry approached a group deep in conversation and, ever so casually, asked, "Is James coming tonight?"
They exchanged uncertain glances. "He’s working a big case," one said. "Not sure if he’ll make it."
Your stomach dropped, but you forced a smile when Harry returned. He didn’t say anything—he didn’t have to. His presence alone was comforting, the quiet support you needed.
The night went on, the hum of conversation, clinking of glasses, and bursts of laughter filling the space. But there was no sign of him.
"Why is it so important that you meet him?" Harry finally asked.
You opened your mouth to answer, but the words stuck in your throat. How could you possibly explain? You fumbled for something—anything—that made sense.
Then the commotion by the door stopped you cold.
A familiar voice carried over the crowd, casual, teasing, exasperated. "Alright, alright, I know I’m late. Give me a break, will you? I was—"
And then you saw him.
James Potter.
He was older now. A few grey strands peppered his dark hair, and a faint stubble lined his jaw. But it was still him.
Your James.
The room faded into a distant hum as you watched him greet old friends, his easy grin slipping into place like no time had passed at all. You overheard their teasing about his lateness, his quick-witted defense, but your world had narrowed to the man in front of you.
Harry nudged you forward. "Come on. Let’s get you introduced."
Your feet felt heavy, reluctant yet desperate. James and Harry shared a warm reunion, a firm handshake, a clap on the back.
"James, I’d like you to meet someone," Harry said, stepping aside. "This is Y/N."
Your heart pounded as James turned to you. His gaze settled on yours, searching, assessing. He was trying to place you, to sift through the emotions flickering in his eyes. You extended a hand awkwardly, suddenly feeling small.
"It’s nice to meet you," you said softly.
James took your hand, his grip firm, steady. He didn’t let go right away. Neither did you.
He was still watching you. You could see it—something was gnawing at him, something he couldn’t name.
In the background, Harry continued speaking, singing your praises. "Y/N’s the most talented witch at Hogwarts right now. Top of her class, brilliant at—"
But you weren’t listening. You couldn’t. Because James was still looking at you, trying to figure out why this meeting felt like something more. And you couldn’t bear it. You dropped your gaze, staring at where your hands were still clasped.
The moment was broken when Lily’s voice cut through the air.
"James! There you are!"
She breezed into the space between you, drawing his attention. The ease with which she called him, the familiarity, was enough to cement reality in your mind.
James didn’t remember you.
The truth hit you harder than expected.
You let go of his hand, stepping back as he was pulled away. Your vision blurred, the weight of memories clashing with the present.
Harry saw it all. Without hesitation, he was at your side, murmuring quiet reassurances, letting you lean into him just enough to ground yourself.
What you didn’t see was James, glancing back at you from across the room, brows furrowed, lips slightly parted.
Something about you lingered in his mind like a half-remembered dream.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The night wound down, guests filtering out in slow waves.
You had resigned yourself to silence, lost in thought, when you felt someone approach.
James.
"Harry, can I steal her for a moment?" he asked.
Harry gave you a quick, questioning look. You swallowed thickly and nodded.
Once alone, James exhaled, shifting his weight. "Have we met before?"
Your heart lurched. "Why do you ask?"
"I don’t know," he admitted. "It’s just—" He ran a hand through his hair. "You feel familiar."
A sad laugh escaped you as you turned toward the window. The moonlight caught your profile, casting shadows over your features.
James stiffened.
His breath hitched, his eyes darkened with realization. He didn’t understand it fully—not yet. But he knew.
It wasn’t just unknowing familiarity.
It was yearning.
For something—or someone—he hasn't met. Or perhaps forgotten?
He took a step back.
He shouldn’t be feeling this.
A shaky exhale, then a quick excuse. "I—I should go. I’m needed elsewhere."
Before you could say anything, he turned on his heel and left, leaving you standing in the dim light, aching with the weight of a history he no longer remembered.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
The party had ended, leaving behind only echoes of laughter and the remnants of shared memories. You followed Harry back to his home, where Lily welcomed you with a warm smile. The night air was cool, and exhaustion clung to you as you settled into the makeshift sleeping arrangement—Harry sprawled on the floor, and you curled up on his bed.
Then, a sudden, frantic banging at the door shattered the silence.
Harry bolted upright, his glasses askew as he looked toward the source of the noise. You were already reaching for your wand, but Lily was quicker. She had already made her way to the door, her expression sharp with concern.
"James?" Lily's voice held both surprise and unease as she took in his disheveled state. His eyes were bloodshot, his breaths uneven, like he had been running or crying—maybe both.
"Where is Y/N? Is she here? Now?" James demanded, his voice raw with urgency.
Lily hesitated, glancing over her shoulder. That was when James saw you, standing halfway down the stairs, your grip tightening around the banister.
Without a word, you motioned toward the door. "Let's talk outside."
Lily and Harry exchanged glances before Harry whispered, "Are you sure?"
You nodded, stepping past them and out into the quiet night. The door clicked shut behind you, leaving you alone with James.
He was restless, shifting from foot to foot, his hands clenching into fists and then releasing, like he didn’t know what to do with them. You had never seen him like this—not James Potter, who had always carried himself with unwavering confidence.
Then, he spoke.
"I remember. I remember everything."
Your breath hitched, and for a moment, you thought your heart had stopped.
He took a step closer. "You look exactly the same as the last time I saw you."
You let out a hollow laugh. "That's because, for me, it hasn't even been a few weeks."
His jaw tightened. "You left without saying goodbye. You left me in the worst possible way."
You swallowed thickly. "That night... Dumbledore found a way to send me back."
“Did you have to leave right then?” His voice was hoarse, a man grasping at something already slipping through his fingers.
You hesitated. “…No.”
He closed his eyes, as if bracing himself.
“I could’ve stayed longer, but—I thought I had to leave before I let myself… feel things I shouldn’t.”
Silence stretched between you. Then, softer, he said, “I never recovered from losing you.”
You blinked up at him.
Then, James exhaled, his voice quieter but no less intense. "Ever since that night, it felt like something was missing. And I never recovered from it. So I buried myself in my studies and work, trying to forget. But now I know why nothing ever felt right."
You blinked rapidly, trying to suppress the wave of emotions crashing over you.
"The me in that timeline," he continued, "would never have chosen anyone else. And even when I did forget about you... I still didn’t choose anyone else."
His words cut deep, leaving you breathless.
He took a step forward. “Tell me the truth. You and Harry—is it something serious?”
You shook your head. “No. We’re just… good friends.”
Relief flickered in his features, and suddenly, he was unwavering. “Then I won’t let you go again.”
You turned away. “James, we can’t. The age gap—”
“I don’t care.”
“You have an entire life here—”
“You are my life.”
The conviction in his voice undid you. Your resolve crumbled as you finally met his eyes. He stepped closer, hesitated, then cupped your face gently.
“No matter what timeline,” he murmured, “the James standing in front of you will always choose you.”
Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes as you whispered, "And this Y/N would always choose you, too."
Then you kissed. Soft at first, hesitant, as though testing the waters of something that had been building for years. But then it deepened—urgent, desperate, two lost souls colliding at last.
𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘 𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚𓆚 𓆘
Summer had arrived, bringing with it long days spent with James—wandering through familiar streets, exploring new places, and simply existing together in a way you never thought possible.
Then, one afternoon, while strolling through Diagon Alley, you bumped into Evan Rosier.
He was with his family, looking every bit the composed pureblood he was known to be. James tensed slightly beside you, his Auror instincts kicking in. It was clear he had no desire to associate with Evan, but he knew how much the man had meant to you in another lifetime. So, against his better judgment, he stepped forward first.
"James Potter," he introduced himself, tone even.
Evan gave him a slow, unimpressed once-over. "Ah. The Auror." His lips curled slightly. "Never thought I'd see the day."
James smirked. "Yeah, well, life’s full of surprises."
Then Evan turned to you, eyes narrowing slightly. There was something almost searching in his gaze, a flicker of familiarity that had no place being there. He studied you for a beat too long, as if trying to place a memory that didn’t exist.
"And you are?"
You met his gaze, unfazed. "Y/N."
His expression didn’t shift, but something in his stance did—curiosity tempered by something deeper, something he couldn’t quite name. He hummed, as if testing the weight of your name on his tongue, then let out a soft scoff. "Thought you had better taste."
James scoffed. "Charming as ever, Rosier."
Evan barely acknowledged him, still watching you with that unreadable glint in his eyes. Then, after a moment, he smirked. "Should’ve figured you'd be the type to steal from a crib."
James blinked. "Sorry—what?"
You rolled your eyes. "He's calling you a cradlerobber, James."
James made a noise of offense, looking at you. "Oh, come on, that’s—okay, you know what, I walked into that one."
Evan looked mildly amused at the exchange, but there was something else now—a quiet intrigue, like an unsolved puzzle. He glanced at the bookshop behind him, then back at you. "Tell me, Y/N—since you clearly have some sense—what do you make of the modern takes on alchemical theory? Half these so-called scholars claim they’re making breakthroughs when all they’re really doing is rewording old work."
You raised a brow. "Depends. Are we talking about research in controlled magical reactions, or are you about to go on a rant about how no one's lived up to Paracelsus?"
That actually made him pause. And then, to your surprise, he chuckled. It was quiet, almost reluctant, but genuine. "Alright. Fine. You have my attention."
His wife groaned. "Oh, Merlin, please don't encourage him—he won't shut up about it for hours."
You grinned. "I wouldn’t mind hearing him out over tea."
Evan studied you once more, that flicker of something unspoken still lingering in his expression. He didn’t understand why he was drawn to the conversation, why you felt oddly familiar—but he didn’t question it either. Instead, he simply nodded, the closest thing to approval you’d probably ever get.
"Tea, then."
Addresses were exchanged, and as you and James continued down the street, you found yourself smiling.
Fate, it seemed, had a way of weaving people back into your life—not as they once were, but as they were meant to be.
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gold-onthe-inside · 1 month ago
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adam's ribs
This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman,’ for she was taken out of man.
who? spencer reid (pre-s1) x codependent!reader summary: when spencer meets you right after admitting his mother to a sanitarium, all he wants is to be loved, no matter the cost. content warnings: codependent relationship, unhealthy dynamics, sub!spencer, r calls spencer 'lovely', implied that r is a caregiver like spencer, handjob, humping, penetrative sex (p in v) NSFW 18+ MINORS DNI word count: 2.5k a/n: i'm not great at writing smut at the best of times, least of all when i'm supposed to make it biblical but i gave it my best shot. song ref is adam's ribs by jensen mcrae
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He wants to say it’s romantic, how you both met. Mostly because he’s not proud of the fact that you first saw him being rough-housed by his mother in the lounge room of the Bennington sanitarium. He’s not proud of the way he grovels for his mother to forgive him, nor is he proud of how he sits at the window alone when Diana leaves to go to her room. He’s well aware what he looks like when you approached him with a cup of coffee and an ear to listen - his back arched, a gangly set of limbs curling in on himself. But he’s been holding it in for so long, his ribs caging his secrets from the world, shaking from the effort. Bones and skin and unshed tears. That’s all he is. His mother’s son.
Your hand running over his back makes him think that he might become someone else. Coffee turns to lunch, turns to dinner, turns to fumbling kisses in the living room of your dingy apartment. It’s reckless and stupid and he barely knows you, but he bares his soul to you when your hands cupped his neck because who else is there that wants him? He kisses you with everything he has, holding your jaw like you might run away when your hands slide over his chest. Keys and bags and coats fall away in the back of your mind, thoughts consumed by this sad boy.
Two failed caregivers seeking mastery with each other, it’s a recipe for disaster and he knows it. But you taste so sweet, your hands so gentle and your eyes so caring, and you both mean well, and it’s not that he doesn’t like you. And he aches for this tenderness. So he lets you slide your hands under the hem of his polo shirt over his chest, lets you tug him closer by the loops of his trousers. Claim me as your own, he begs you in his head, and you pulled away to look up at him, taking his breath away in the process.
“Wanna take care of you,” you murmured, hands resting under his ribs, pressing your lips to his collarbone.
He doesn’t know what to say to that, his eyes fluttering shut as your hands rove up, fingertips tracing the outline of muscles in his chest. He wants to whimper underneath those hands, wants to tell you to never stop, never pull away from him. “Please.” That’s all he can think to respond. Oh, please.
“Sweet boy,” you whispered into his skin, leaving light marks as you tugged him to the bedroom. It’s unfair, unfair that the universe would hand him this heavy a burden to bear — he’s no Atlas to carry the skies on his shoulders. He’s almost in awe of you, the way you pull him down to the mattress, the way you slide a thigh on either side of his hips. He’s pliant underneath your touch, his long fingered hands cupping your jaw. He’s not used to being touched like this, not used to being wanted. His wide hazel eyes look up at you with a mix of awe and desire. He’s like putty in your hands, so open and inviting and innocent and tortured all at the same time.
“I don’t know what I’m doing,” he confessed, his hands brushing along your side in clumsy impulse.
“No-one said you have to,” you replied, leaning over him as your hand cupped his jaw, and lowering your lips to his.
He melts under these touches, his tongue darting out to trace yours as he whimpers against you. He’s breathless when you part for air, his cheeks flushed pink. He feels safe in your arms, he realizes, like nothing can touch him now. “Please,” he begs you softly, his long fingers gripping the fabric of your dress. “Don’t stop.”
“So polite,” you murmured, tracing his bottom lip with your thumb.
His breath hitches and he opens his mouth for you, chasing your touch. His eyes are locked on you, watching your every move. “I could beg, if you’d like me to,” he said, his voice a little raspy from being so out of breath. It’s meant to be teasing but comes out more desperate than he’d hoped.
"I don't doubt it," you whispered back, kissing the corner of his mouth to tease him.
The whine that he lets out borders on humiliating. He’s never been so desperate to be touched before, but you’re making him insane. He tries to follow your mouth, but your hand holds him at bay. He lets out a soft curse, his hands tightening around the fabric of your dress.
You let your hand run through his soft hair, silky strands that parted like they were meant for you. It felt right, like you were both the same person, like Zeus had split the two of you for fear of the power you would hold. Because this thing between you both is too intense, dangerous, like nothing you've experienced before.
He all but purred at the touch, his eyelashes fluttering against his cheeks. He was beautiful like this, vulnerable and needy, and all for you. He nuzzled his face against your hand like he was trying to burn the feeling into his memory, wanting to keep it and make it a part of himself. “More,” he pleaded, looking up at you through messy bangs.
“Anything for you, lovely,” you murmured, kissing him deeply in your dim bedroom, and he held your waist like you might disappear through his fingers, dissolving to mist when he wakes up from what will inevitably be a dream.
He moans into your mouth, your words like a sweet prayer to his ears. Lovely. His stomach is in knots, his chest tight, and your words of affection are making his head spin with want. He thinks if you asked him now, he'd promise you anything. He's drowning in you, in your touch, in the way you say lovely.
Heat warms you all over as his hands roam over your back, spindly fingers dragging over your spine, too nervous to slide under your dress. You pull back for breath, barely leaving an inch between your lips and his, about to tug at his shirt when you look at him, locked onto wide hazel eyes, dark and framed with pretty lashes. “Tell me this is okay,” you whispered, warm breath fanning over his cheek.
“It’s okay,” he assured you, his voice a mere whisper. He’s sure he looks a right mess, skin flushed, lips kiss swollen, eyes wide and hopeful. Your proximity is making it very difficult to think straight, his fingers gripping a little harder on your waist, wanting to pull you even closer but afraid to touch where he hasn’t been invited.
“Arms up, lovely,” you murmured, tugging on the hem of his polo shirt with the smallest smile. He obeyed, lifting his arms so you could pull his shirt up and off him with little hassle. He was thin, the expanse of his torso pale and smooth except for the scattering of moles. He shivered a little, both from you looking at him so keenly and the chill of the air against his skin.
You look at him with nothing but fondness and want, gentle hands trailing over his shoulders. "All mine?" you asked softly, nose brushing his as your hands ghost over his chest, like you were checking again. That's all you want, to take care of him. This sweet boy that you can't let go of.
“All yours,” he replied, his answer as soft as your touch. He shudders, almost whining when your hands brush over his ribs, making him squirm. He’s so responsive to you, every touch sends a shiver through him, until he’s squirming restlessly in your lap. When you reach for his belt buckle, he gasps softly, looking up at you with wide, pleading eyes.
"It's okay," you assure him, gently prying the belt apart. "M gonna take care of you, promise," you whispered.
His chest is rising and falling rapidly, his heart drumming a staccato beat, his cheeks flushed deep red. He nods slowly, his breath hitching a little when you slowly peel open his trousers. He doesn't know what to do with his hands, his slender fingers flexing and gripping the sheets. A whimper escapes him when your knuckles brush over the sensitive skin of his flat stomach, so close to where he wants you. “Please,” he whispers, his wide eyes begging for your touch, like his body is thrumming with a desperate ache that only you can soothe.
"Words, lovely," you murmured. "Tell me what you need." You’d give him anything he asked for, reach inside your ribs and pull out your heart for him, for this boy you barely know. You can’t name it, there’s just something there that pulls you to him.
“I need you,” he said almost immediately, his hands gripping your thighs, needing something to hold on to. “I need you to touch me, please.” He’s so flushed and wanting, his eyes wide and pleading. He wants, he needs, he aches. To be touched, to be wanted, to be loved.
Your hands are like fire against his skin, leaving goosebumps in your wake, making his heart sing. He squirms weakly, his body arching towards your touch. He moans so prettily when your fingertips trace over his hipbones, so close to where he needs you. “Please,” he says again, his voice raspy. “Please, please, please-”
His begging quickly devolves into panting, the air in his lungs escaping him all at once, your fingers tracing his cock. Your touch is like a drug, a delicious sort of torture, until he's a trembling mess underneath you. He needs more, he wants more, but he can't form the words. All he can do is arch into your hand, desperate and wanton. "Does that feel good?" you asked, your voice barely above a breath, sharp eyes watching his features move with your strokes.
He tried to respond, but a soft whine is the only thing that escapes his throat. Your touch is driving him wild, his hips canting up of their own will, so desperate for friction that he can hardly think straight. He's never felt like this before, desperate and needing, unable to speak because he's too busy moaning incoherently.
You grind your hips against his experimentally, propped over his lap, hands bracing you. He moans loudly when you grind against him, his head flying back into the sheets. His long slender fingers grip your thighs, his nails biting the flesh, trying to ground himself. His eyes are shut tight, his hips lifting up to meet yours, wanting more, needing more.
"Eyes open, lovely," you murmured, feeling his erection through your underwear, rocking your hips against it. His eyes snap open quickly, cheeks flushed red, mouth parted and panting. He’s trembling so hard he doesn’t trust himself to speak, his breath coming out in short, sharp huffs, punctuated with soft whines. He’s so impossibly hard, it’s almost embarrassing how easily he’s come undone by your touch, and then you’re grinding on him and he sees stars, his back arching and a gasp of profanity falling from his lips.
He’s whimpering, and whining, and begging you, but you couldn’t tell even if you tried. His words are lost in a jumble of unintelligible noises, each one a plea for you to bring him to the edge, each one a silent thank you when you rock against him. He’s almost beyond words, beyond coherent thought, his mind a litany of your name. You can feel your own control slipping, your movements becoming frenzied, your own release imminent.
His hands are grasping everywhere, desperately searching for purchase, grasping at your back, your hips, the sheets. He’s close, so close, he’s practically begging you now, your name the only thing he’s able to form. He’s trembling from head to toe, his skin slick with sweat. "I'm gonna... Fuck, you feel so good," you muttered into his shoulder, feeling your arms weaken as you get closer to the edge.
He’s babbling softly now, words about how close he is, how he needs more, please more please. His hands are gripping your thighs, fingers digging into the flesh. He’s delirious with desire, the only thing he can think about being how good you feel. He’s so close and it’s almost too much, the edge of pleasure painful from how good he feels.
Everything crumbles when you shift your underwear to the side to sheath him, slowly easing yourself onto his swollen cock, and he's sure if heaven exists, this is it. He’s crying your name like a prayer, his head thrown back, his long body curving towards you, trying to get closer despite the fact that he’s buried deep inside you. He’s trembling, shaking, his hands gripping your waist.
“Please,” he whispered, and it’s the first word that you’ve been able to make out in the last several moments, and then he’s gripping your hips harder, pulling you down onto his lap, his eyes dark and heavy-lidded. He’s panting, his chest heaving, his mouth parted and begging. “Please, please, please—” He’s so desperate that it borders on pathetic, his eyes wide and wild, looking up at you to try and convey just how badly he needs you. He’s practically whining with need, his hips arching up as if he’s begging, and when he moans your name it sounds obscene, almost too much. “Please, I need - I need-”
You quicken your thrusts, still with the same care, but pushing him over the edge all the same, his head lolling back in pleasure, his hips meeting your movements eagerly. He’s gasping for air, his breathing coming in short, sharp huffs, as he teeters right on the edge. He’s so close, so desperate to find his release, and it seems like he’s on the brink of pleading, his eyes wide and pleading, until—
"That's it, lovely, let go for me," you murmured, your body still moving against his in a rhythm that gives him no other choice. It’s like that’s all he needed, his breath catching in his throat, his body tensing up, his hands holding onto to your waist so tight you think he might bruise you.
And then he’s tumbling over the edge, a long moan ripping its way through his chest, his eyes rolling back into his head, and you whisper his name and he’s gone, completely wrecked, his body trembling, his breathing coming in sharp gasps as he comes down from his high.
He’s clinging to you like he’s drowning, his arms wrapped around your waist, his chin resting on your shoulder. He’s spent, wrecked, utterly ruined, and when he speaks, his voice is wrecked, too, the one word that manages to escape his mouth sounding almost hoarse. Your name. Nothing else in the world exists. Not with you here.
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