#Having had the opportunity to see his character grow into himself has given me Such brainworms about that question ���♪♫

[sysig]

Go play pretend on your own (Patreon)

[rose-morose]

ok we need to have a chat about Kit from Jentry Chau vs the Underworld

(as per usual long spoilers under the cut)

he is a great character, but you all are misunderstanding the point behind his reveal to Jentry as a painted skin

the show finally gives us the dignity to be accepting of a person for being different right out of the gate, like Jentry was surprised by Kit's true appearance, but not unaccepting

whereas other shows often like to give us the whole *you wouldn't like me because I'm different no I would I swear never mind you were right I don't like you anymore* Jentry Chau vs the Underworld gives Jentry a good reason for why she doesn't accept Kit

Jentry later explains herself very clearly to Kit and why she doesn't trust him, it's because he manipulated her, seduced her, tried to kill her, and did the one thing that everyone else does to her, the thing she hates most, he tried to use her to get what he wants

she can't trust that his feelings for her are real, and it's not just because he is a demon and his book entry says "can't feel emotion" or whatever, she has been given good reason to believe that the book is right and she shouldn't trust him, not because he was lying about being a demon, but because he tried to kill her at the orders of the man that she believed had murdered her parents, because he had planted a pearl on her that manipulated her desire to see her parents to lead her into a trap, because he had spied on her and pretended to also be into the things she likes just to get close enough to kill her, and his reasons for doing all of that were entirely selfish, he planned on trading her soul for a soul of his very own

Jentry eventually forgives Kit, but not because she has reconciled that he is a demon, she realizes that Kit is just like her, his manipulation wasn't his own plan, he is a pawn in someone else's game, like her he is being used by another party to get what they want, and like her he wants out

this prompts her to come up with a plan to get them both out of the game, if Jentry can transfer the powers that Flora and Cheng are fighting over from her to something else, then theoretically Flora would no longer need Jentry, and Cheng would no longer need Kit in order to get close to Jentry

she enlists Kit's help to achieve this objective, and it works (temporarily), freeing Jentry and Kit from the rivalry that they both wanted no part of

Kit then takes this opportunity to try and form a romantic relationship with Jentry, but she declines citing a need for "normalcy"

again, not because she doesn't accept him as a person, Jentry is doing everything she can to put her supernatural past behind her whether it's Cheng, the mogui, her gugu, her parents, her powers, Diyu, or ghosts, but she is content keeping friends around like Ed and Kit

and it's worth mentioning that Jentry noticed Kit's desire to be with her was entirely selfish and self serving, he wanted his own happiness no matter the cost, even if it meant stealing from Jentry, and his behavior around her was hardly rational, stalking her, smashing lockers, scaring her, he wasn't exactly trying to formulate a healthy relationship

she is later upset with Kit for breaking her trust once again, and stealing from her to achieve the same selfish goal as before

but Kit finds redemption in the end, not redemption for being a demon, redemption for being selfish, and he does this by sacrificing himself to save Jentry's life, something from which he had nothing to gain, and even admits what Jentry suspected, that his wanting to be with her was selfish, but he proved that he could be selfless and put others first

people are saying he got done dirty, but it was that sacrifice that made him not only a good person, but a good character that was capable of growing and evolving, and his absence from the rest of the show, suggesting that his death may have been permanent, made his sacrifice all the more meaningful

Jentry is hardly perfect, but she isn't the monster some have accused her of being

why wouldn't Jentry be accepting of a demon? Ed was a jiangshi, an undead demonic creature from Diyu that consumes qi much in the same way that the painted skin demon would, and he was one of her best friends

she saw the nü gui as a non-malicious friend to Ed, considered her gugu's ghosts to be helpful and nice, helped a dangerous little girl to return to the afterlife, didn't run off when she learned about Michael's powers, regarded niu tou and ma mian as non-evil forces just doing their job, considered Kit a friend after forgiving him, and helped Zhong Kui capture law breaking ghosts

she was constantly accepting of any super natural entity that wasn't a total dick, why would this be any different?

now I love Kit, and if there is a season 2, and I hope to god there is, I would love to see him return as well, but you gotta stop ragging on Jentry for just being rational, there are much better reasons why someone would be upset with her, but I just can't see the unaccepting angle

[hisui-dreamer]

harveston's warmth

Characters: Jade, Idia, Sebek, Epel, Jamil

Synopsis: Your lover notices you're cold while looking around in the Harveston market, how does he help warm you up?

Tags: spoilers for Harveston Event, warming up, fluff

Word count: 901

Notes: i was craving warming up scenarios the whole time i was reading the event, so here's our Harveston bois being super fluffy!

Masterlist

Jade's like a child in a candy store running around from stall to stall looking at what interesting plants they have

once he notices you're shivering though, he drops everything and makes you his first priority

he's a bit frustrated at himself given his low body temperature can't warm you up

his touch would be ice cold, so he's careful to not accidentally chill you

he can't physically warm you, but his affection does wonders

gets you warm drinks and the mushroom soup to help maintain your body warmth

takes off some of his outer layers to give you more insulation

analyses your every move to see if you're improving

definitely goes and learns warming spells after the trip to make sure he's well equipped to take care you next time

might also tease you by placing a cold hand on your neck haha

Jade's eyes narrow as he notices your shivering, before quickly springing into action. "My pearl, I can see you're feeling cold," he says with concern. "Come, let's get you warmed up. Just hold on a little longer, and I'll make sure you're cozy in no time," his cold lips press against your forehead, but the heat that rises to your cheeks warms your heart.

Idia is a bit sensitive to the cold, but with enough cold gear he's fine

i mean his hair is fire, he's not that cold

he's imprinting every single detail of the market to memory and noting what similarities there are between the anime and real life

when he sees you shivering, he gets a bit worried

temperature causes health damage after all

quietly buys you apple ginger tea, the statistically most efficient drink for warming up

and might just stand closer to you and radiate his hair body heat for you

he's too shy to be openly affectionate in public so cut him some slack

the next day, he's giving you a small portable heater he built from scraps he found

you can't freeze to death on him now, okay?

"Hey... uh, it looks like your temperature bar is dropping," Idia mutters with a concerned look. "Let's quickly buff up your warmth stat and get you back in the comfort zone ASAP before you take health damage!"

he's also freezing

distracting himself from the cold by thinking about malleus

then he notices you're also cold

he has an excuse now

takes you to the bonfire for you to warm up, but it's just the two of you, side by side, gloves off, hands in the air trying to get some warmth from the flames

it's kind of endearing really

inches closer to you to try and offer his own body heat

if you get him to rant about malleus, his face will get warm from how passioned he is trust me

gets you a hot drink but only because he was already getting one, okay human?

might hold hands blushingly hehe

or if he's feeling bold, hugsss

would also suggest going on brisk walks to generate body heat

"No one can warm you up better than me, human!" Sebek exclaims, his chest puffed with pride. "It's my duty as your lover to keep you comfortable." There's that smug glint in his eyes that always makes you smile.

he's so excited to show off harveston to you!

his favourite person in the world, at his hometown, his favourite place in the world

as the tour guide, he notices you're cold rather quickly

takes you to a good spot to sit by the bonfire

once your comfortable, he'll go and get any warm drinks you want

definitely huddles closer to you, wrapping his arms around you to share his body warmth

takes off his gloves and slides his hand into your glove!!!

many tricks to get warm from him, given he had to grow used to it

uses this as an opportunity for you to try all sorts of harveston cuisine

he's so so happy to be able to take care and provide for you

"Aw shucks, looks like ya need some warmth, sugar cube!" Epel says with a gentle smile. "Lemme fetch ya a hot cuppa cocoa or some warm soup. I'll make sure ya stay warm and toasty, no matter what it takes. You can count on me!"

Jamil is a bit sensitive to the cold, but he's used to it given the chilly nights of the scalding sands

so he's doing okay in the harveston cold, not entirely warm, but not uncomfortably cold

and the excitement of travelling has him more excited and energised anyways

with how observant he is, he notices how you've become all quite and how you're shivering slightly

he can't give you some of his layers, so he'll drag you into the market to get some warm drinks

also just walking in crowds can heat you up with a bit

gets you apple ginger tea because he knows the medicinal properties ginger has to warm up

very very attentive and blows at your drink to make sure you won't burn your tongue

really, he's not fairing very well himself, but he's putting in a lot of effort to make sure you're comfortable

"You really should speak up when you're not feeling too well, you know?" Jamil sighs, smiling wryly. He extends his hand toward you. "Follow me, I know just the thing to get you warmed up."

Masterlist

if you liked this post, don't forget to reblog!

[messiahzzz]

thank you sm for the ask!! 💕 i’m glad you enjoy my posts and it is not a strange request by any means!

note: this is merely my read on gale’s sexual preferences/kinks. i don’t want to police anyone on their headcanons or claim they are “incorrect”. since the game doesn’t provide too much detail, many things remain up to interpretation. (and lest we forget fanfiction has always encouraged the exploration of dynamics that may not be present in canon.)

gale is a character who isn’t interested in walking the straight and narrow route. he is all about new experiences, favoring non-traditional means, putting his own spin on things, and the thrill of seeking the forbidden. the sheer romance of the uncharted and the unknown. he is enthusiastic in almost every aspect and possesses an infectious zest for life. in regards to his sexual preferences, this translates into an eagerness to explore, witness new sensations, and reach new heights together. while approaching the topic of sexuality with a generally playful, adventurous attitude.

if you’re looking for harder kinks, however — i don’t believe gale is the character for you. and in case it needs to be said again: there is nothing wrong with being vanilla.

initially, i see gale as a switch, who gravitates more towards assuming a dominant role, due to his ever-present desire to give and to impress. i do think he enjoys giving up control, yet you still have to actively convince him to let himself go and be spoiled for once. his first focus will always be to fulfill his partner's needs and drown them in his all-encompassing love and adoration. i also believe that gale will grow more comfortable with being the center of attention, once their relationship has reached a point of total security (and he had ample opportunities to show in just how many ways he can wow them). gale is not a strict dom, nor a sub. in his ideal relationship roles would be discarded entirely, deeming them too restrictive in his expression of intimacy with a trusted partner. it’s all about variety and ridding oneself of the shackles of the worldly, after all. melting into one perfect whole, not knowing where he ends and his partner begins.

gale: we are all sensual vessels. illusory magic lets us sail farther, and feel more deeply.

gale: [..] i could use the weave to make us feel sensations beyond reckoning.

based on what we know about gale, these could be some of his kinks:

lots of praise (this is non-negotiable), sensation/temperature play (waxplay, electrostimulation/all the many perks magic has to offer), sensory deprivation, light restrictions and bondage, the occasional roleplay, katoptronophilia (self-explanatory), altered mental-states (hypnosis, psychedelics), orgasm control & denial, body worship, olfactophilia and given his propensity towards verbosity: narratophilia and some very inventive dirty talk. as for my own self-indulgent take: due to the recurring emphasis on hands during his romance, as well as his being the main tool in how he shapes and navigates the world: quirofilia.

nodecontext: flustered, standing in front of his romance partner in bondage gear. not necessarily uncomfortable with the bondage aspect, just trying to stay focused.

now, what are gale’s hard-limits?

gale, after the player received loviatar's blessing: your hide, your choice. not quite my cup of tea though.

while projecting your own kinks and fantasies onto fictional characters is fine and well, disregarding and ignoring the source material (and the character's stated boundaries) is another matter entirely. fanon!gale is rather ooc and very different from his canon portrayal, which is something that tends to irk me. although this remains a common fandom phenomenon.

personally, i don’t see gale as someone who enjoys pain of any kind, be it giving or receiving (with the exception of spanking and light choking, if a certain mood strikes. although it is kept mostly playful). contrary to what fandom may claim, having self-worth issues, being loquacious, emotionally expressive, and vulnerability-seeking (as well as being commonly perceived as arrogant and insufferable) doesn't automatically equal having repressed masochistic tendencies. he could be convinced to dip a toe into sadism, but only upon his partner’s insistence. although i doubt he himself would find enjoyment in that.

the same applies to degradation/humiliation. i doubt that a character who is still very much struggling with inherent self-worth issues and a general feeling of being defective/not worthy would derive sexual gratification from being degraded. yes, it can certainly be healing for some, but gale doesn’t strike me as someone who would find particular enjoyment in that. quite the contrary, actually. nor would he like to do the degrading for that matter (he would vehemently refuse. all he wants to do is sing your praises.) gale wouldn’t enjoy being leashed and/or collared in any way either. the prospect of being tied up or restricted is rather intriguing, cause it serves to center one’s vulnerability while also allowing for more intense sensations. anything that taps into the puppy play/slave territory tho? he would find it demeaning… and, quite frankly, silly.

gale is also not a voyeur, nor a cuck. the entire scene with the drow twins leans way too much into dub-con territory for my tastes. the only way you can get him to participate at all is by rolling a persuasion check with DC 25. in every other dialogue option, he immediately (and explicitly) declines. even if you do manage to pass the persuasion check, he is still very hesitant about participating.

gale: i might enjoy watching you tangled up with the drow, as long as i was five paces back.

he then immediately runs from the room, because sending a simulacrum in his place was the only way to somewhat remove himself from the situation while still being able to please tav. because of course he wants to please and clearly this is important to tav so he might just… have to discard his reservations and... just go through with it?!

gale: well i suppose it would do no good to back out now. let us begin this little anthropological study, if we must.

i am aware that fandom uses the fact that his “orb lit up in telltale excitement” as a justification that persuading him was the right choice, as well as confirmation that he was secretly into it and “just needed a little push" to explore his desires/get out of his comfort zone. that implication alone is very suspect and goes straight into the sort of logic abusers often use. you can be physically aroused by certain scenes, images, or sounds, even while being visibly uncomfortable with the presented scenario. it is a natural response that you can’t often control. which is what he is showing throughout the entire scene: discomfort. he was coerced into this situation, without any prior discussion or an opportunity to talk about his boundaries. furthermore, this is what he has to say if you approach him after the threesome:

gale: ahem. i hope you're not here to ask about our recent, erm, activities. i'd rather those were consigned to the footnotes of our romance, if it's all the same with you.

since he is strictly monogamous, any arrangement involving another person is also a no. he made this rather clear when tav sought him out after receiving halsin's proposal. him being monogamous isn't solely rooted in his trauma, it isn't something he has to “overcome” in order to heal, nor does it mean that their relationship is any less fulfilling. call him greedy, stubborn, or old-fashioned, but he cannot comfortably agree to that.

[elderwisp]

On Repeat - an oc tag

rules are pretty simple, pick as many (or as little) oc's as you'd like and find a song that you relate to them the most! feel free to mention why too! o and tag some more ppl too! that would be cool! i tag: @goldenwaves @acidheaddd @dejasenti99 @earthmoonz @moonfromearth @stinkrascal @matchalovertrait @lynzishell @sirianasims @vicciouxs @gvaudoiin-tricou @smulie @living-undead @pralinesims @lucidicer @literalite @nepotisim @mattodore @madebycoffee @daniigh0ul @changingplumbob @yukikocloud @cinamun @moonwoodhollow @youredreamingofroo @acuar-io @raiiny-bay

deep dive below ⇣

Frances Dubois:

Something about the whimsical instrumentals backed up with the haunting vocals almost reminds me of someone stuck in a loop. There's repetition in the chorus that solidifies that feeling. I also like the juxtaposition of the French lyrics, like the second singer is aware and has a desire to change. When I think of Frances, I envision someone in limbo and part of that is the inability to make a decision. She finds herself stuck, in a way, her anxiety makes the decision for her because doing nothing is something. Whilst Icarus has helped nudge her into making decisions such as aiding her in graduating, speaking to Atlas, and supporting her in her audition. there's still this internal desire to make that move on her own. The first time we see her do that is when she decides to kiss Icarus, which in a way, pushed her back into her loop as it didn't end well. As of current events, she's avoided him since.

↬ sometimes - mattyeux and princess chelsea

Daniella Álvarez:

This song to me encapsulates someone who has had to be independent at a very young age. The beginning opens with spoken lyrics, "She asked me who's taking care of me, I said, 'I take care of me'" and whilst incredibly empowering, there's always that question of how did we get here? Dan is the eldest of two younger siblings. In fact, there's quite the age gap between her siblings and if we look at Valeria, she also looks just as youthful. Dan is the product of an unplanned pregnancy as well as a bit of a narcissistic mother. The disorderly environment in which she's been given, learning to be a caretaker of her siblings and the constant pressure of success has lead her to have self-sufficient character. Whenever I think about her dynamic with her friends, I'm reminded of this scene, and she's the glue that is trying to hold the chaos together.

↬ taken care of - suzi wu

Kai Castillo:

Christ this song is so good. The instrumentals backed up by the vocals, feels a bit somber. Throughout Tessellate, Kai hides behind the fact that he has these feelings towards Atlas and they've started to bubble over into jealousy as Atlas's relationship grows with Kai's sister, Taryn. I also love that there are a lot of comparisons here to Lucifer Morningstar and religious elements. Kai's relationship with his religion is somewhat of a paradox as he is a closeted gay man to his parents, his sister and church. In fact, he does a lot of things that would bring quite a bit disapproval. He's unforthcoming, somewhat suspicious because his secrets have given him a reason to be. His story is of one that falls from grace.

↬ i am the antichrist to you - kishi bashi

Atlas Dubois:

While Paul Julian Banks narrates a song about struggling with addiction, I noticed there's a bit of a different beat in comparison to the rest of Interpol's songs. The tempo is much slower, as if exhaustion has set in and we're barely moving along. When we meet Atlas, it's at the beginning of a fresh start, not really knowing what has happened prior. Slowly throughout, we pull back minor details that entail his complex struggles with addiction. What initially started out as a bit of fun, became all consuming, allowing any given opportunity to be a reason why he should use. The bridge of this song also discuss the contrast between himself and his partner discovering his addiction for the first time. There's also a change in his tone during that that I find to be so neat! It does remind me a bit of his relationship with Taryn. I do know that addiction lasts a lifetime, and that love doesn't solve it all, but I also know that right support is the most important.

↬ rest my chemistry - interpol

[rwrbmovie]

BTS of #RWRBMovie: 'z' in your last name

TZP via HOLA:

Clifton Collins Jr., who plays my father in the film, was amazing. I knew of him. I’d seen his projects, but we’d never crossed paths before. And then we met and we just got along, thick as thieves. And he’s like an OG Mexican from Los Angeles which was so colorful. He made it feel like there was family on set. Same with Matthew being Puerto Rican. Their influences help you get into that vibe, and then you do the scene and it’s wonderful. You really bring that accuracy to it.

There’s a line in the film when Alex and Henry are in Paris, and Henry asks him a question about his mom’s campaign, and Alex starts telling him about his father and his abuela coming to the States. The line is something like “If you’re an immigrant in America and you have a ‘Z’ in your last name, there’s a lot of people in positions of power that don’t look and sound like you. I’ve been given the opportunity to be someone in the world that my father didn’t see when he was growing up.” As someone with two ‘Zs’ in his last name (laughs), that was a tough scene for me because I had to be there as Alex and not as Taylor. It was very emotional to think of my family and what they went through to come to the United States. Even though they came here a long time ago, you still think about all of the people that are coming to America today and about all of their stories. Alex realizes that his father didn’t have any role models growing up and now he’s a congressman. That fuels his fire to be the change. That was so exciting for me.

From NYT:

For both Zakhar Perez and the director, the character Alex’s biracial identity was particularly meaningful. López grew up in Panama City, Fla., with his Puerto Rican father and Polish Russian mother, while Zakhar Perez is of Mexican, Middle Eastern and Mediterranean descent and was raised in northwest Indiana, where he said there was only one other Mexican family. “Matthew and I talked a lot about the mestizo journey,” Zakhar Perez said in a video call before SAG-AFTRA, the actor’s union, went on strike. “Being part Mexican, part lots of other things, I don’t want to say you’re forgotten, but in today’s world, it’s like, you’re either this or you’re that. There’s nothing in between. I’m kind of a cultural chameleon.” “As a young Latiné queer man, I never read something that centered someone like Alex,” López said, echoing his star. “If I had been presented with this character when I was in my late teens, early 20s, it may have changed how I thought about myself.”

From Windy City Times:

Was the part about having a Z in your last name personal or the book? ML: It was personal. That was about me and Taylor. It came from a conversation that Taylor and I had when making the film.

From Metro Weekly:

Alex has a line about grow ing up in Texas as a kid with a last name that ends with Z, which is I guess something else you can relate to, Florida style. ML: And Taylor Zakhar Perez also. Taylor and I talked about that scene a lot as being something that we both understood. My aunt Priscilla Lopez is a beloved, beloved stage actor. She was in the original cast of A Chorus Line. And there's a story that she tells about Mandy Gonzalez, who was in In the Heights with her, and Mandy once told Priscilla that Priscilla made it okay for her to be someone with a Z in her last name. And that was a thing that Taylor and I spent a lot of time discussing as well. It was important to me that that scene be in the movie. There was never a chance in hell that that scene was ever getting cut.

From Teen Vogue:

TV: One of my favorite parts is when they’re in Paris, and Alex talks about being a young person of color coming up from Texas and not seeing anybody who looked like himself or his dad in politics, and Henry’s response to that simply being: “I’m learning.” I don’t know if you were in the theater for that one, but half the crowd was like, awwwww. ML: Yeah, I was for that. TV: I’m married to a white man, and I was like, that is the perfect thing a white man can say in that situation. ML: I’m married to a white man, too. Speaking as someone who is a person of color married to a white man: that’s like the ultimate thing you ever want your white boyfriend or husband or partner to say. That’s it. “I’m learning.”

ML via THR:

There’s a scene in the movie that is very much me, which I gave Taylor after they’ve had sex for the first time. They’re there in pillow talk mode, and he tells Henry about what it’s like to be the son of an immigrant with a Z in your last name. It was really important to me to talk about growing up with a Z in your last name and even just how our names are pronounced, the spellings of our names sometimes if you have Latin ancestry. To have to answer for your name has always been something for me that I struggled with until I stopped struggling with it. So, I needed to put that into Alex’s story and when it came time to shoot that scene again, it was something I didn’t have to explain to Taylor Zakhar Perez. He got it instantly. The only thing that I did screw him up with is like, “We’re going to do this [scene] as a oner, and we’re going to do it as a top shot that starts in a wide shot and comes all the way down to your face, and we’re not going to leave this scene until you get it right in one.”

[hotdaemondtargaryen]

EWAN MITCHELL TALKING ABOUT AEMOND TARGARYEN IN S1 AND S2 OF 'HOUSE OF THE DRAGON'.

'I THINK HE RECOGNIZES, GOING FORWARD, THAT HE'S CHANGED THINGS FOREVER BETWEEN HIM AND HIS BROTHER — THERE'S NO GOING BACK. IT'S SUCH AN INTERESTING TURNING POINT FOR THOSE CHARACTERS.'

“House of the Dragon��� Season 2, Episode 4, ramps up the Westeros civil war at Rook’s Rest, during which Aemond made a shocking move that star Ewan Mitchell says will change things “forever.”

Given the already fractured history between the brothers — which came to a head when Aemond put Aegon in his place in front of the small council earlier in Episode 4 — Mitchell said the Rook’s Rest sequence reflected the “two characters trajectories finally [coming] into an accumulation in the skies.”

HOW HAS THEIR RELATIONSHIP CONTINUED TO DEVOLVE THIS SEASON WITH AEGON TAKING THE CROWN?

"I think Aemond’s in a very similar mind to where we saw him in Season 1, in that he still believes his brother is inferior to rule."

"Aegon was squandering his inheritance whilst he was in some sleazy corner in Flea Bottom, whilst Aemond was in the Red Keep yard training with Criston Cole."

"Day in and day out, he was studying with the masters; he was very much manufacturing himself into this weapon."

"Although Aemond is the second son, he still very much believes that he should be treated as the first."

IN EP 4 WE SEE AEMOND VISIBLY TAKE POWER AWAY FROM AEGON AND PUT HIM IN HIS PLACE. WHAT DO YOU THINK SHIFTED WITHIN AEMOND THAT HE FELT THE CONFIDENCE TO DO SO?

"It’s an accumulation of two things — you get a sense of Aemond and Cole from the first episode that their intent is to manipulate the small council to their needs and what they want."

"I think they’re both in similar minds that they believe that war is inevitable, and you can either wait for it to come to your doorstep or you can get ahead of the curve, so Aemond and Cole wish to act."

"Then you couple that with Aegon’s history and Daemon’s history."

"He was the ringleader to a lot of Aemond’s childhood torment and bullying, and that’s something that Aemond forgives, but he does not forget — that’s probably always in the back of his mind as well."

"You ultimately see him exact that in Episode 4, especially during the council, like “we have to act, and I’m going to have to put you in the place if you’re not with me.”

RIGHT BEFORE CRISTON COLE GETS THERE, AEMOND HAS ALREADY FOUND AEGON, BUT HE WAS IN THE POSITION TO CLICK HIS SWORD BACK. WHAT WAS HE ABOUT TO DO RIGHT BEFORE CRISTON FOUND HIM?

"I think it’s ambiguous — that’s what I love."

"If I give all the answers, people will stop asking the questions."

"I like that debate, I like the theories that the fans strike up."

HOW DOES AEMOND FEEL ABOUT KILLING HIS GREAT AUNT? DOES AEMOND FEEL ANY QUALMS ABOUT THE MOVE? ARE YOU EXPECTING BACKLASH FROM FANS?

"If he feels any sort of regret, it’s certainly something that he will never show, he’ll get hidden behind that hardened facade that Aemond possesses."

"That’s one of the beautiful aspects of playing in the character, you never truly know what Aemond is thinking in any given time."

"[But] you do know that he is thinking."

"He’s not just this mindless sociopath — the cogs are turning behind his eye."

"There’s a very, very dangerous calculative quality to Aemond and [he] picks his moments."

AEMOND HAS A BIT OF A PATTERN WITH TAKING REVENGE WHEN HE SEES THE OPPORTUNITY. HOW INTENTIONAL WAS LUKE'S DEATH?

"Lucerys Velaryon bullied Aemond relentlessly along with his nephews and Aegon growing up."

"I think Aemond had forgiven Luke that he had taken his eye, but he just hadn’t forgiven the fact that Luke got away with it."

"What could have been resolved with with simple words of apology was instead allowed to fester."

"Kids are going to be kids, but it should have been the responsibility of the adults that the the kids find some sort of resolution and there wasn’t — there was no closure."

"That hatred for each other between two characters was allowed to build and build build."

"Ultimately what you see in the skies above Storm’s End is human nature taking its course."

"Aemond did not intentionally mean to hurt Luke, he just wanted to scare him."

IS THERE ANY PART OF AEMOND THAT WISHES HIS AND AEGON'S RELATIONSHIP WAS ANYTHING LIKE JACE AND LUKE'S? OR WAS THE WAY THEY WERE RAISED — IN A LOVELESS, JOYLESS RELATIONSHIP BETWEEN ALICENT AND VISERYS VS RHAENYRA AND HARWIN — MEANT THEY HAD NO SHOT AT A REAL BOND?

"Aemond and Aegon growing up shared a world of hurt, because they were the half of the family that weren’t seen to succeed the kingdom, so Aegon and Aemond were kind of pushed aside, they were neglected by Viserys."

"They never experienced that unconditional love from either Viserys or Alicent, so maybe they don’t know how to show it as well, certainly Aemond doesn’t necessarily know how to show it."

'ALWAYS LIKEN AEGON AND AEMOND AS FREDO CORLEONE AND MICHAEL CORLEONE RESPECTIVELY.'

"Because Fredo should have looked out for Michael, the same way that Aegon should have looked out for Aemond, but instead, Aegon went behind Aemond’s back and conspired against Aemond with the help of his nephews."

"Aemond does feel a hate to his enemies, but when it’s your own brother that goes behind your back and backstabbed you, that hatred is even deeper than someone who’s supposed to protect you and supposed to look out for you."

[elizakai]

you guys i can’t take this anymore i need to release steam from this pot of killer and dust thoughts that’s on the stove

listen. if you don’t know by now. one of my favorite things to do is bridge narratives between fanon ideas, and canon truths hehe

Killer and Dust. The accepted dynamic is basically killer being a pestering little shit and dust being over it.

THATS GREAT ON ITS OWN it’s funny etc

but think about their ACTUAL characters for a moment. they are two sides of the same coin.

⬇️

i don’t want to hear any of that old fandom “they are literally the same” shhhhh. nuh uh dear friend, they commuted the same (general) action💥

their motives and situations are very different however! which is important when it comes to understanding a character

They both played into an opposite role in their world if you ask me.

Killer partners with chara, filling the role of the player. he’s a lot like flowey actually.

(in killers world, while he is still a pawn of this sick game, he gets manipulated after all, he has taken on the ROLE of the player. everyone else are the pawns.)

dust is against the anomaly of dusttale, which is that worlds player.

dust is a pawn. a pawn that is defying the player of the game

(in the same way that killer is still pawned, dust still uses his fellow “pawns” as a means to “win” the game, meaning he’s also playing)

(but again, i’m speaking role wise)

Killer and Dust’s dynamic doesn’t have to just be haha funny, it has some actual merit and potential to their characters.

Killer is constantly looking for new forms of entertainment. something new. he’ll get bored, and if he’s bored he’ll have to look at himself. killer is very much a character representing disassociation avoidance and to an extent, escapism (huh. like someone playing a video game?)

Of COURSE he’s gonna poke at people. it’s INTERESTING. it gets a REACTION. he gets to have that small power trip of being in control, after feeling like he lost control this is something that’s probably addictive to killer.

meanwhile dust…well. killer acts like his own anomaly in a way. he prods at him, toys with him, he’s leering and he takes pleasure in any reaction dust gives. dust probably would resent this feeling without really knowing why. he feels like some toy, and he’d probably be inclined to even interpret a genuine interaction this way.

this honestly makes dusts inclination to shut off or dull down any emotion make more sense. be as unremarkable as possible, and you’ll be left alone, right?

isn’t that…kind of what sans does? he’ll repeat same lines of dialogue and such when he reallyyy doesn’t have to. he’s being uninteresting. (and no he doesn’t need to remember everything magically for that to be possible. in game he will poke fun at past conversations and dialogue so he’s clearly aware enough)

Killer wants a response, so dust doesn’t give one.

killer wants control and feels like this is a challenge, dust feels cornered and defensive

if they had existed in the same world, it would have been killer vs dust in the end either way.

it’s a big old game of cat and mouse until someone snaps. they need to be given the opportunity to understand their similarities

even in an interpretation where they are in a healthier relationship, in whatever capacity, i think these mindsets would be conflict they may have….

to killer , on one hand he may be OFFENDED by his lack of response. he may be EXCITED, it’s a CHALLENGE. he might take dusts resignation as a sign of submission, which would give killer a HIGE power trip.

he might. genuinely just be trying to have fun?

it could be ENTIRELY lighthearted, and it’s still…rather toxic, considering where that mindset branched from

and we know dust won’t be inclined to say anything. he probably doesn’t understand his own feelings to be frank💀 he just feels gross and intimidated and cornered so he shuts off and sees killer as oppressive , and grows resentful regardless of intent, as these feelings only feed into his crippling self hatred anyways

….thats all for tonight-

[spop-romanticizes-abuse]

Hey

Want to know your opinion, how would you improve some arcs of toh characters, like Amity, Hunter, Lilith, Willow, Gus and probably anyone whose arcs you think are bad-written?

good question! let's see,

luz: i have mostly no complaints about her character but i wish they made it clear that her running off to the boiling isles was not ideal. i don't entirely blame her because she was a child and she was looking for a way to avoid going to camp, but the show starts off implying that luz's escapism was a bad thing, but then they kinda contradict that in the end, by letting her have access to the boiling isles forever.

also her s3 arc with her palisman was just overall poorly written. it was supposed to be an emotional and wholesome moment but it didn't have that impact on me. if luz's greatest wish was to be understood, they should have built on that more. i mean, it's not like no one understood her, all of her friends and found family in the boiling isles seem to understand and empathize with her. it just felt like the writers pulled this revelation out of their asses, and the fact that stringbean was inexplicably a shapeshifter didn't help their case.

amity: i would keep some parts of her initial characterization, like her ambitious nature and her resting bitch face energy. even if the idea was to make amity grow into a more cheerful person, it doesn't make sense that it happened so quickly. imo her characterization was at its best when she was warming up to luz but not entirely nice to other people (like during the grom episode). i really liked her cold, standoffish behaviour and i think it would have been nice if she had kept some of that, while still being a better person than she was in the beginning.

also, like i said in another post, she should definitely have goals of her own. her character shouldn't have been reduced to "luz's girlfriend". i would definitely show more of her interacting with the other characters (and these interactions and conversations aren't about luz) and pursuing her own dreams. i think steven universe did this best where connie liked steven a lot and she did hang out with him, but she also had her own life and her own dreams to chase.

hunter: i wouldn't put him in a relationship with willow, or anyone, for that matter. the poor boy has a lot of trauma he needs to work through and based on the stuff that he's said, it's clear that he doesn't know how healthy human interactions work, let alone a romantic relationship.

i would make his arc about slowly healing through his trauma or at least being able to express his emotions, instead of suppressing them for willow's sake. i think it could have been done, despite the time crunch. he needed time to grieve flapjack, to grieve himself after being possessed and almost killed by his abuser, and to slowly start his healing journey.

the others would definitely support him through it, but that's what he needs at the time, not a badass girlfriend.

lilith: i think her redemption arc started off okay but then everyone forgave her too quickly. it wasn't as bad as catra's because lilith did put a little effort into trying to be better, but she still needed to do more before she could have been forgiven.

so either i would extent her redemption arc and let the other characters, especially eda, stay mad at her a little longer before she gets forgiven. or i would just keep her as an antagonist.

they didn't even explore her trauma of being in a cult and the emperor's coven never chased her down after she left. not to mention, her experience of being in the emperor's coven is never relevant to the plot. she could have given luz inside information or talked about belos' potential weaknesses, it was such a missed opportunity.

willow: her arc with amity was not terrible and i like that she was allowed to take her time to trust amity. this is more about amity than willow but i think it would have been nice if we saw amity making more efforts to gain willow's trust. her apology in understanding willow was good but they kinda glossed over the fact that amity wasn't just "letting her friends bully willow", she was also bullying willow.

i think we needed more of willow and amity trying to mend their friendship, instead of lumity being the main focus after that one episode.

and in general, willow deserved a bigger role in the series. for the longest time, she was just luz's friend and then they forced her into a relationship with hunter, which did not work at all.

if her intended arc was to work on her insecurities and get more confident over time, they should have shown more of that process. even Any Sport In A Storm was mostly about huntlow (and hunter, to some extent) then willow. and let's be honest, the whole "half a witch" thing was dragged out more than it needed to be.

gus: okay, buckle up because i think i have the most grievances with gus. i need to make this clear. GUS WAS SO UNDERUSED.

i'm sorry. this guy is a child prodigy who can create illusions and use illusion spells to look into people's minds and force them to relive their worst memories?? why was this not more relevant to the plot? gus is such an insanely skilled witch and yet he's always pushed to the back for some reason. he has the most versatile and useful skillset but he never gets to use it, it makes me so mad!

even him looking into belos' mind was only used for that brief moment where he admits that he knew hunter was a grimwalker, but didn't want to force hunter to talk about it. that's it. we get no further conversation about it, gus never addresses the other stuff he saw in belos' memories like him MURDERING his brother and creating all the grimwalkers and god knows what else??

also just the fact that he's able to psychologically torment people with illusions is such an OP move that the series just kinda glossed over. it was used in a few episodes, but it could have been used to a greater extent. i just think that gus could have been such an interesting and powerful character, if he was given enough spotlight.

he also had a good thing going with mattholomule but instead of making that canon, they went for huntlow. i'm not saying that gus has to be in a relationship (or any of them, for that matter) but why create a new rushed ship when you already have a perfectly good one to work with?

i also find it weird that gus and willow were supposedly best friends but we got very few moments between them. i would have loved to see more of their friendship, and more focus on platonic relationships in general.

so yeah, if i were to rewrite gus, i would definitely give him a lot more spotlight. heck, given his powerset, he has the potential to be the main character even!

belos: i've mentioned it a lot before but belos deserved a more climatic end to his arc. all of the implications of religious trauma and puritan culture was thrown in the trash in s3.

he was actually such a compelling villain, genuinely intimidating and with an interesting motive and backstory. what was the point of crafting such an interesting character, just to be like "lol he's evil murder his ass"?

i'm not even mad that he died, i'm just mad that THAT'S how he died. i was expecting his death to be something ironic and self-inflicted, like the people from the human realm being horrified by him and killing him. maybe even burning him to death, the same way witches were burned at the stake. buuuut no, we get king, raine and eda stomping on his corpse because haha that's funny. hunter didn't even get to be a part of all this, and he was the one who deserved closure, he was the one who deserved to see his abuser face consequences of their actions, not fucking eda and raine.

and that part where he tries to convince luz that he was just under a terrible curse was just.. so childish. and not in-character childish, but just childish writing. it was just so ooc for belos, he is a manipulator but this wasn't how he manipulated people. i guess you could argue that he was just too desperate to survive but eh. i think it could have been written better.

eda: i don't have too many complaints here, i think she was probably the most well-rounded and compelling character in this show. her arc about the owl curse was interesting and very relatable to me, as someone who is epileptic. her relationship with raine was the best in the series imo.

the only thing i would change is, as I mentioned earlier, i wouldn't make eda forgive lilith so easily. i also think that she kind of lost her "morally grey parental figure" edge by the end of the series, and i honestly liked that part of her a lot, so i would keep it. but that's just a personal preference.

raine: they were definitely a very interesting character, i just think they deserved more screentime. most of their role in the story was surrounding their relationship with eda, which was very compelling, but we could have gotten more of their character outside their relationship.

the members of the emperor's coven, as a whole, could have been used better in the series. but for a side character with medium relevance to the plot, i'd say raine was written pretty well.

[sapphicscholar]

Hacks Episode 3x09 Thoughts

Okay, so back during S2, I wrote up my thoughts about each pair of Hacks episodes as they dropped – partially for sharing but largely as an archive for myself of my own thoughts/feelings to revisit when I watched the episodes later to see how they held up, how it compared to watch them serially vs. as a whole season, etc. Anyway, I was incredibly stressed out and busy for much of this season (after over a year of that being the key set of words to describe my life), but I wanted to throw out my thoughts about the finale before they grow too stale! And maybe I’ll come back and revisit the prior episodes in posts later when I have the time (hopefully in just a couple short weeks!) to enjoy them properly

As always, disjointed bulleted lists are the name of the game, going from the big picture to the detailed:

Overall, this felt like a very solid episode in the vein of season 1 in many ways! It brought us back to the interpersonal as the primary ground of conflict after many episodes (here and in S2) of the new hour, the special, and the Late Night host gig quest being our main plot drivers (which, at many times, made for weaker storytelling for reasons that exceed the scope of this post!). In particular, I felt like this episode hit its stride around the halfway point, and never really faltered after that in impressive ways!

That being said, I had two somewhat significant critiques of the finale (both of which reflect larger trends about strands of the show that continue to leave me a little disappointed)

We should have seen Marcus' conversation with Deborah about the new job. Period. I'll get into what could have been cut in my second critique, but even if there weren't weak spots in the episode, I still would have been deeply disappointed in the show for this oversight, especially since they apparently filmed it. Although Hacks is clearly a show with a leading duo, it once had a core ensemble, but S2 saw them moved more and more to B-plots and bit roles, and now S3 has seen many of the characters we know and love eliminated almost entirely--a point that's particularly galling given that it's almost entirely characters of color (many of them canonically queer) who have been cut in favor of new white characters. Moreover, this scene would have been SO IMPORTANT - I could have seen it going 2 ways: a) Marcus quits after the convo where Deborah tells Ava she's willing to lose her, and Deborah has a reaction that is so utterly outsized because it's the terror of losing the person she's had with her the longest now compounded with the reality setting in that she's also driven away the woman who gave her new life when she most needed it; or b) Marcus shows up to quit, and Deborah immediately launches into a rant about Ava's leaving, which puts Marcus in the awkward spot of adding to that at a pivotal moment in the career of the woman he's spent much of his adult life with or giving up something he needs to do for himself; it could have been a lovely callback to S1 when he shows up with his whole speech prepared but then accepts the promotion without ever telling Deborah how he feels - only this time Marcus would have changed so much, and he'd have the opportunity to showcase that growth by insisting that he needs to do this for him. So many lost opportunities...

re what could have been cut because imo it did NOT work: Kathy Vance's return. Now, I love Hacks in large part because it insists on the complexity of its characters. No one is purely the victim or the hero of the story, and Deborah's "click" moment showcased that better than anything. AND YET the writing here did not work. Back in the Christmas ep, I messaged a friend saying I was glad that they brought Kathy back but seemed not to ask us to side with her - after all, she comes crashing back into Deborah's life, doesn't take ownership over her actions and in fact insists she was in the right because it only happened a few times, because Deborah wasn't sleeping with him (very "you weren't playing with it, so it's mine now" little sister energy that is deeply unappealing in a grown ass adult), and because they were the "better couple" which is, I'm sorry, NEVER the fucking thing to tell someone whose marriage and life you destroyed. I joked then that I'd take back my compliments if her role in the finale suggested that actually we should be on Kathy's side here. And lo and behold... What's a real bummer is that there were ways to do this better! Because you can have sympathy for an imperfect character--this show is a testament to that fact!--but not like this. We as an audience have no reason to side with Kathy when she insists that Deborah will be worse than ever and berates her for cutting their weekend short. Instead, we see a woman with a large sense of entitlement she's done nothing to earn and directorial choices that don't make it a smooth transition. But what could have been lovely is, for instance, treating the Christmas and finale reunions as these deflationary moments of anticipation and disappointment because they are, after this many decades, essentially strangers to one another. Had we seen two women who longed for the deep affective ties of their childhood relationship only to be confronted with the cold hard fact of their estrangement from one anther, it would have been so much more powerful. And here you could ACTUALLY garner sympathy (some) for Kathy by having it be this moment of "I lost my sister" partially through her own actions "to Late Night once, and now, right when I have a chance to try to build something with her again, I feel like I'm going to lose her again before I can even really try to do right by her this go around." THAT could have worked. This was just too much time on something that did almost nothing in the grand scheme of the plot (because we didn't have the emotional connection to feel it as another compounding loss for Deborah in an episode where Ava's "and you're going to die alone" could have landed with even more force)

Okay so it turns out this is getting hella fucking long, so some shorter praise and giddy feelings things:

I LOVE how often Ava got to say the things we've all been squeeing about for years during this episode - especially that the material is good because of their relationship, not the other way around; their dynamic is not incidental to the work, and that's so important to me personally.

I had guessed that Ava would be offered head writer and quit her current job, only to have it taken away because Deborah was too scared to rock the boat, but I did NOT see the end coming! In fact, I kind of thought Ava might end up suing Deborah for intellectual property theft (using material Ava wrote outside of her contractual appointment for the new show because, surprise surprise, the writers who sucked when she was a guest still suck now compared to Ava!) In fact, I sort of thought that end scene might end up being a return to the car scene, and was relishing the thought of Ava's mimicking Deb's "It'll be fun, honey." But the blackmail as a form of love/devotion was soooo much better. Truly chef's kiss.

Also the way this rewrote the S2 finale even as the underlying message remained the same is so special to me - I'll stay with you even when it's bad for me (sacrificing my career -> sacrificing my morals) because it's good for you and more importantly it's good for us and the work. JPL know how to write a finale, and I'd give up a kidney to have that same energy be there throughout a whole season again (not that the eps are bad, but they lack some of the sharpness in writing and emotional depth that JPL do so well with finales and also often with the first couple eps of a season too)

Lastly JPL going on the record that Deborah was turned on by that final scene + Ava's "I would, wouldn't you?" and "Let's begin" - truly some of the hottest TV. We're so back babyyy. No more half naked superheroes with all the eroticism of a desk chair. Give me messy women determined to fling themselves into the air because they know the thrill is worth everything good and safe they're leaving behind, even if they hit the ground with no parachute!

I have many, many thoughts about S3 and what's to come, but I'll save them for another post because phewww this got long as fuck

[harleyxhoward]

Analyzing The Abilities of Characters From The Boys

-Le Finale-

🇺🇸Homelander🇺🇸

Thank you to everyone who sat by and waited for this grand finale, it truly means a lot to me! You’re the heroes, truly! I added Superman by Ivory Layne because I associate it with America’s #1 Supe, plus I wanted to plug one of my all time favorite 2010s throwbacks.

I think Homelander’s “Evil Superman” pitch is definitely the main draw of the franchise, but I wish he wasn’t always shackled to that identity. He acts as an introspective analysis of the true evil of corruption on a radical/political level. I mean, the man was birthed in a lab and raised on straight looping American nationalist propaganda. He was essentially being hypnotized by Vought to be an All-American boy, and yet he turned out exactly like America itself; overpowered, inescapable, and caked in far too much makeup.

Homelander/John’s wide range of abilities stems directly from the versatile torture methods Vought used on him in infancy in order to rig the results of the V and produce the most amount of abilities. For example, my assumption is they would drop him, along with other flying Supes, from high places, and if they managed to float for survival they would grow up to be able to fly at dazzling speeds. This is based on the number of trials he endured, such as the oven he would be placed in for hours on end. He’s now invulnerable, but he had to quite literally be forged through flame to be so.

In addition to his range of abilities, the episode of Diabolical that depicts Black Noir feeding him his lesson on optics makes his inability to swiftly dispose of those who show no fear all the more reasonable. When he’s viewed as the monster he’s always been seen as (the whole “you ripped out of your mother and beamed through the bodies of the doctors in the room while flying like a scene from the exorcist” thing) he’s incentivized to be what they expect of him, almost like how he was taught to be what the masses wanted from him. The careful crafting and hardwiring of a monster stays, even though he’s subverting Vought’s benevolent persona.

When a character shows indifference or truly just a lack of terror, he spares them, deeply yearning for genuine human connection with an individual who doesn’t recoil from his advance. Whether it was Madeline, Stormfront, or Maeve, they all proved themselves to be fierce women who he had difficulty letting go of. Madeline in particular managed to survive up until the exact moment she admitted her fear of him, to which he incinerated through her skull with his laser vision.

Even when analyzing how he spares Hughie, Butcher, Annie, or the rest of The Boys, Homelander has ample opportunities to fly over and murder them all. He could kill them all in broad daylight and get away with it, but whether he’s consciously aware of it or not, he fully needs humans on this planet who know the truth about him and refuse to be afraid. The alternative would be too boring, and as I could imagine, horrifying. He doesn’t want to be a king, we see into his psyche too frequently to know he hates himself. He truly hates what he sees in the mirror, and masks it with a veneer of egotism until he eventually breaks down again. He wants people unafraid to challenge him, otherwise he would have used one of his several powers to slaughter The Boys ages ago. You may call it plot armor, but I think John needs someone to go blow for blow with. Butcherlander

John never had the chance to be human. He was directed how to be a god, and given the power to match. While every part of me sees him as the monster he is, rape and murder included, I almost feel like killing him wouldn’t be the karmic serve fans think it would be. I agree with the sentiment that he should be stripped of his power and condemned to live an average human life without access to Compound V (I like to imagine they’ll just blow up Vought tower in the finale, but we’ll see). His scenes with Ryan almost make me believe that he wants to be human, but he can never do that as the supervillain he is today. Maybe if he could try out being a human, he wouldn’t have to try and escape his humanity.

[ewanmitchellcrumbs]

Perzys se Rūkla (Fire and Flowers) - Chapter Six

Pairing: Daemon Targaryen x original female character (Melessa Tyrell) Warnings: Mentions of infidelity, angst, strong language, mentions of pregnancy, childbirth, smut. Word count: ~3k

Chapter summary: Daemon makes two life changing discoveries.

Maester Orwyle drops heavily to his feet once Daemon’s grip on the front of his robes loosens. He scurries away fearfully, scarcely even sparing a glance behind him.

Daemon’s temper still burns hot within his veins. How dare she hide this from me?

The force with which he throws open the doors would be enough to wake Melessa up ordinarily; but under ordinary circumstances, she wouldn’t be under the influence of milk of the poppy. Thus, she remains asleep.

He softens upon taking in her appearance, his anger leaving him as he watches her laying there. She’d look peaceful were it not for the tear tracks upon her cheeks—tears he has caused her. His wife. 

The mother of his child.

She does not deserve his anger any more than he deserves her forgiveness, as much as he yearns for it. He sits carefully on the bed next to her, longing to reach out and brush his fingers against the peachy softness of her face. He refrains. She has expressed a wish for him not to touch her. He owes it to her to respect that, even in sleep.

Whether she is prepared to allow him to make amends now or not, he knows he cannot permit her to return to Highgarden. Not now that she carries his child. She has given him a reason to do better, to be better.

He wants to watch her grow round and full with his offspring, to see the effects that he has had on her body as it adapts to the life nestled within. He feels his cock stir at the thought and swallows thickly, attempting to push the urge away. Perhaps her shape had begun to change already and he hadn’t noticed. He finds himself thinking back to the last few times they’d been intimate. He had been so rough, so hurried, so desperate for fulfillment that he had barely registered her beneath him. If he had the opportunity to go back he would take his time with her, run his hands over her curves and appreciate them, notice the subtle swell to her breasts and the added plushness to her hips.

There is an ache in his chest as he continues to look upon her. He has to make this right. A child of his own is something Daemon has never thought about; never wanted, until now. And now, he does not think he has ever desired anything more desperately.

He has no idea how long he continues to sit there for. Soon, the sky is breaking into vibrant hues of yellow, orange and red upon the horizon, indicating dawn’s approach. He hadn’t seen Melessa eat since Rhaenyra’s coronation feast the previous afternoon. She will awaken soon and surely feel ravenous with hunger. Daemon cannot abide that, not when their child relies upon her nourishment.

Reluctantly, he rises from the bed and makes his way to the kitchens. There is plentiful food left over from the day before; he orders the few staff that are awake and working already to put together a platter. Salted meats, pies, bread, hard cheese and tarts are piled high upon the tray, enough to feed both him and Melessa for today and the day after that. He knows it is too much, but this is as much to prove a point as it is to give his wife breakfast. Even in the wrong, Daemon cannot resist the urge to maintain the element of surprise.

Melessa is stirring, sleepily rubbing her eyes as he re-enters her bedchamber, setting the heaped tray upon the foot of the bed. She sits up, her brow furrowing as she looks upon the food that’s been placed before her.

“What’s all this?” she asks, voice thick with sleep.

“Breakfast,” Daemon tells her with a smirk, leaning against the bedpost and folding his arms as he watches her.

“There is so much of it…” Her blue eyes glance up towards him before dropping back to the spread of food.

“Yes—I suppose there is,” he says. “It was tricky for me to know how much to have brought up to you… considering you are eating for two now.”

Her hand that had been reaching towards the food pulls suddenly back into her lap. She stares at him, brows raised in shock. “You know.”

It isn’t so much a question as it is a statement. Daemon simply nods, attempting to mask the satisfied smile that spreads across his face. He may have caught her out, but ultimately he is still in the wrong.

“How?” she asks, pressing her lips into a tight line.

“I caught Maester Orwyle sneaking out of your chambers in the middle of the night,” he tells her matter-of-factly.

“Oh gods. Daemon—what did you do to him?”

His wife knows him too well. He is unable to help the upward tug at the corners of his mouth. “Nothing he won’t recover from. Eat.”

Melessa sighs and reaches for a piece of bread, tearing it apart with her hands as Daemon resumes his earlier position beside her.

“How long have you known?” he asks after a few moments pass between them in silence.

“Since we arrived back in King’s Landing,” she replies between bites.

“And how long since you last bled?”

He can see her considering his question as she chews, trying to recall. “About three moons.”

Daemon can feel his mood darkening and draws in a deep breath in an attempt to calm himself. His voice is tight when he asks his next question. “And not once did it occur to you to tell me?”

“I was going to,” she begins softly. “There was so much going on already, with your brother passing away. I had planned to tell you after Rhaenyra’s coronation, but then…”

She trails off, her bottom lip trembling slightly and Daemon feels his heart squeeze at the sight.

“Then I fucked it all up,” he says sadly.

“Hm.” Melessa places her half eaten bread back on the tray, leaning back against the headboard. “You’re not going to let me leave, are you? Not now that you know.”

Daemon feels like he’d be serving another blow to her, to admit this aloud, true as it is. He wants nothing more than to comfort her, to pull her against his chest and breathe in the sweet scent of her golden hair.

“I need you to know that nothing happened…with that girl,” he tells her. “I won’t deny that I tried, and I cannot begin to explain why I did, but I couldn’t…because she wasn’t you, petal.”

“Am I supposed to be grateful?” she asks bitterly.

“No, but it is proof of the fact that I care for you.”

“And yet you have never told me you love me.”

“I’ve never told anyone that before, not even my own brother. Perhaps that is my mistake.”

“But do you love me?”

He is determined not to leave the pause that he did yesterday, to not make her doubt his feelings for her any further than he already has. He takes a breath, steeling himself against his impending vulnerability. “Our time on Dragonstone together was the happiest I ever remember being. I hated having to give that up to return here. Everything in this wretched place serves as a reminder that I am not good enough for you, not good enough to be Hand of the King.”

“And yet, you are my husband and Hand of the Queen,” Melessa reminds him.

“I stole you from my nephew. My niece made me Hand because my brother would not.”

“Perhaps you ought to spend more time appreciating what you have, rather than resenting the reason you have it.”

He huffs through his nose. She is right and he despises it, but it is one of the things he has grown to love about her. Yes. Love. 

“I think about you all the time,” he tells her. “I find myself wishing for your presence when you are not by my side. Your scent is imprinted upon me in such a way that nothing else satisfies; I yearn for you more than I ever have for anyone. If that is love, then—yes. I love you… as much as I am able to love another person.”

She stares straight ahead as he speaks, her expression unreadable. The quiet hangs heavy between them when he finishes. Daemon’s heart races, worried she’ll reject him despite him having opened up to her.

Melessa shifts slightly in the bed. “Can you take the food away?” she asks. “The smell is making me feel unwell. I will not return to Highgarden, but I would appreciate some time to myself. I need to rest.”

Daemon nods, standing and removing the food from the end of the bed. He hovers by the door as Melessa settles back down to sleep, debating whether to try to kiss her or not. Deciding against it—he sees her eyes flutter closed—he pushes the tray into the hands of a chambermaid and makes his way out of the Red Keep.

He expects that Rhaenyra will summon him at some point today. It is her first official day as Queen; she will no doubt want a meeting of the Small Council. It is still early, however, and with yesterday’s festivities, he doesn’t anticipate her being ready to call everyone forth until the afternoon. He decides a ride on dragonback will help clear his mind. He has much to think about, though he is glad at having convinced Melessa to remain in King’s Landing without the need for force.

As Daemon approaches the Dragonpit, he notices excited commotion amongst the Keepers. The head of them gives him a beaming smile when he spots him and hurries over, staff in hand, to clap Daemon on the shoulder. He scowls at the overfamiliarity. Before he can enquire as to what the meaning of all of this is, he hears what the Keeper has to say.

“Syrax has laid a clutch! Her first in two decades!”

Daemon raises his eyebrows, the perceived slight immediately forgotten. “Dragon eggs?”

“Yes, Your Grace. We hadn’t known she was gravid. It appears the return of Caraxes has been fruitful for her.”

“Show me,” Daemon commands, excitement fluttering within him.

The head Dragon Keeper guides him through the gloom and humidity of the Pit until they reach a mucus-coated membrane upon the earthen floor. 

Daemon crouches, breaking apart the protective layer that coats the top of them. Beneath lay four dragon eggs. His eye is immediately drawn to one that is iridescent shades of orange and red, fading into a vibrant green towards the bottom.

Carefully, he lifts it, turning it over in his hands, feeling the warmth of its hardened scales against his fingertips. “Perzys se rūkla,” he whispers.

Two Keepers approach, a steaming pot meant to incubate the eggs carried between them.

Daemon rights himself, keeping a hold of the egg he’s taken. “You may take those three.” He nods towards the ground. “And inform the Queen of Syrax’s clutch. I am taking this one.”

Melessa is still dozing when he returns. This time, he has no hesitation in waking her. He grins down at her as she grouses to herself, blinking her eyes slowly open.

“For the babe,” he tells her, holding the egg out.

She gasps, reaching out to place her hands over it, her fingers overlapping with his.

Daemon releases a steady exhale at the contact, the first physical touch they’ve shared in what feels like an age. He leans forward, resting his forehead against hers as they hold the egg together, the aroma of almond oil and rosewater flooding his senses. Finally, it feels as though everything may work out exactly as he wants.

This time, he does not fear it.

**SIX MONTHS LATER**

Daemon paces the room. Each of Melessa’s pained screams cause him to wince as they echo off of the vaulted ceilings. A gaggle of attendants rally around her, mopping away sweat and blood as she produces each fluid anew.

Should there be so much blood? Is she going to be alright?

His throat constricts at the possibility he might lose her. He has ignored the pleas for him to leave the room, does not trust that she will not meet the fate of his brother’s first wife, Aemma, should she fall into difficulties.

He will not have her carved open like some roasted hog, just for the sake of some squawking brat. He will end this child’s life long before he ever considers taking hers.

He longs to brush her dampened hair from her temples, to hold her hand and encourage her through her labours, but he has not been allowed beside the bed. The birthing bed is no place for a husband, he is told. Daemon thinks that is utter shit.

He stills when he hears the first wails, too high-pitched to possibly be his wife’s. He turns to see Melessa exhausted but still very much alive, panting against the pillows as a bloodied, squirming mass is lifted from between her legs.

“A boy,” announces a voice from somewhere. He barely registers it, everything seeming far away as the child is separated from his mother, swaddled, and placed into Daemon’s arms.

He has never held anything so fragile before in his life. His arms wrap instinctively around the tiny bundle, a lump forming in his throat as he gazes down at the scrunched up, reddened face that looks up at him with apparent displeasure. 

“Ñuhus trēsȳs,” he whispers. “You have a face I’m sure your mother will love.” My son.

He walks around to the side of the bed, and places the child in Melessa’s waiting arms. “Well done, petal,” he murmurs, kissing her temple. “You have given me a son.”

Daemon’s heart swells at the adoration with which she looks down at the babe with, her fingers tracing over his tiny cheek.

“What shall we name him?” she asks, voice hoarse from her labour pains.

“I was thinking Viserys, after my brother,” Daemon says, perching on the edge of the bed and wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

“A fine name, indeed.” She smiles. “Little Viserys.”

“Avy jorrāelagon,” he whispers, pressing his nose to her hair. It is a sentiment he ensures his wife and child will never go without hearing from him ever again. I love you.

**SIX WEEKS LATER**

Daemon’s hands wander over Melessa’s nightgown, pawing and squeezing at her flesh as she lays beside him. Under instruction from the Maesters, he and Melessa have not laid together for six weeks in order to allow her body to heal from having given birth. The wait has felt agonising to him; the last time he had been inside of her had been during the last few weeks of her pregnancy. Towards the end, Viserys had sat too low in her womb for them to be intimate without it causing her discomfort.

The wait has been maddening for Daemon. His fist will never satisfy him the way that the warmth of her cunt can.

She squirms uneasily against his touch. “Daemon— please,” she whimpers. “My body has changed since I became a mother.”

“And what is your point, petal?” he murmurs, his hand cupping her breast through the flimsy cotton that covers it.

“I do not look as I was before. I worry that you will not want me anymore, that you will seek out the comfort of another again…”

Daemon takes a gentle grip of her chin, tilting her face towards him. “There is no one that I desire more than you, sweet wife.”

He grasps her hand, guiding it towards his hardened length. “See what you do to me? Even in that oversized sack you insist upon wearing to bed.”

She giggles, and he captures her lips in a searing kiss, pulling at the lacings that keep her shift fastened as he does.

When she is bared beneath him, his eyes travel over the fullness of her breasts, the tautness of their hardened peaks slightly ruddier than they used to be. Her stomach bears the markings of having carried life, her hips more rounded, plusher than they used to be.

A low growl of approval rumbles in his throat. She is irrevocably marked as his and has never looked more beautiful to him.

He inhales a sharp breath upon finding her wet and wanting when he snakes a hand between her thighs. He wants to spend more time preparing her, but the way his cock aches painfully does not allow for such endeavours this evening. He needs her too badly.

When the tight heat of her walls envelope him, he groans in relief. It is like returning home after a lengthy absence. She sobs with pleasure at his every thrust, his hands vice-like against her waist as she eventually shudders and comes apart around him. He follows her over the edge soon after, white hot pleasure licking at his lower spine as he spills himself deep inside of her.

She is almost asleep against his chest when the piercing wails of Viserys startle them both into wakefulness. Melessa sighs, moving to leave the bed when Daemon places a steadying hand on her shoulder.

“Allow me, petal,” he says, brushing his lips against her temple and rising from the bed.

Viserys cries in his cradle, little handles clenched into fists. The moonlight that streams through the gap in the curtains shines upon what has disturbed his slumber.

The dragon egg that lays beside him—vibrant hues of red and orange that fade into a brilliant shade of green towards the bottom—has begun to crack apart. 

Daemon’s lips part as he watches it. A little dragon for his very own little dragon. 

Perzys se rūkla.

FIN.

Chapter five || Series masterlist

[synchodai]

I will say that the while it's clear issues were present during the making of hotd s2, it's still a shame that the cregan/jace adventures in the north weren't given any attention. I thought they would capitalize on a stark/targaryen pairing considering how popular each respective side is

Also looking at s2... jace just did so little lol because other than his conversation with his mother towards the end, his presence this season was just so lackluster. I can't even lie, but that house Frey scene felt like a bit of a consolation prize for his lack of initiative everywhere else. In my opinion, I think it's easy to like jace after you read f&b and his death definitely adds to his appeal, but I really enjoyed how his actions (that were said to be done by him ig) have extreme consequences even when you could tell the incentive to do them were either for his family's safety or to prove himself. There's just so much more you could have done with that than just his feelings about being a bastard. These were admirable attempts during war, but they were shortsighted as well, and it's interesting to think about how if he had lived, he could have had the opportunity to grow and change

I think he could have returned after rhaenys dies maybe they use his short temper that we saw in s1 that after hearing about luke's death, he tries to do something stupid, but cregan, feeling sorry for him stops him and he stays there until he has his head on midly straight. They could've had some bond during his stay and jace's character could have been plain about any anger or guilt over luke, being a bastard, etc. We could have done more with cregan (like it's funny as a show only you know nothing about his story), but that can be changed when he comes back in season 4 probably

Idk but the prophecy having so much relevance as you finish s1 and s2 just makes me wish for a story where these highly privileged people with dragons acted for reasons for a cause that THEY believed were valid as they dragged everyone else into it including the smallfolk because tbqh even though they waged war all over, you can still feel this immense sadness over the fate of many of these characters

either way, I understand that much goes into making a TV show so I try to take it in good faith about choices they make, but idk I'm still so disappointed about this season

sorry for the word vomit :)

Yeah, there's a whole camp of the fandom that's disappointed Jace didn't get his flirty side quest. That being said, I do like the scenes that we do get of Jace in the show — even waaaaaaaaay back in season one, I loved how they characterized him.

You're right, anon; he IS shortsighted. Way back in the dinner scene in season one, we see Jace can play a political game of nuance and subtle jabs when he invites Helaena to dance as an insult to Aegon, but we also see him be the one to escalate things to violence by throwing the first punch. He's not above throwing petty insults, but he also throws a tantrum when those insults are returned in kind. He's not the innocent, even-keeled political savant some people think he is.

Even when I read the book, I always imagined Jace as a bit of an asshole in the same way a lot of insecure teenage boys are. Every political player in this overly privileged family is some level of asshole. (Which is also why I disagree with a lot of fans who say he would have made for a perfect king but that's another rant for another time.) And that's what makes them compelling characters.

That's why we needed to see that northern sojourn where Jace learns to somewhat chill. There's an obvious change in demeanor between season one Jace and season two Jace, and you can totally attribute that to him being given the space not to be on the defense all the time. The writers could have gone with the Sara Snow story, the Brokeback Winterfell angle, or something else entirely, and any of it would have worked.

Alas, the show's priorities are really obvious at this point. If it's not about Rhaenyra/Dany being the prophesized chosen one, they're not interested.

[iknowimdespicableme]

My top 5 Doctor Who Episodes; And why!

DOCTOR WHO SPOILERS UNDER THE CUT!! I say the season and episode before I start analyzing, so feel free to skip some.

5. Vincent and the Doctor [5x10]

This episode was so touching to me on many different levels. Firstly, as a creative person who deals with mental health and ostracization, seeing a version of Vincent Van Gogh on screen felt almost healing. Acknowledging the hurt he experienced while not ignoring his joys was very special. On a technical level, the way that the episode visualized a way Vincent Van Gogh may have seen the world was incredibly eye opening and better allowed me to appreciate his art. Furthermore, the confusion Amy experienced during the episode regarding her memory was such an experience for two reasons; Firstly, it proved to us, the audience, how much she has grown to love Rory. Before, she was dating him because he was the only half-decent guy around. But, after learning more about him and spending more time with him, she is truly in love with him and this episode gives proof of that. Secondly, I experience dissociative fugue, wherein I may forget large aspects of my life, and this episode was so comforting regarding that experience. Yes, sometimes there are things you can't remember that make you happy or sad. You should embrace the feelings rather than ignore them or feel scared. And, finally, the moment where Vincent Van Gogh is able to see what the future of his art holds is a touching moment; and I like that it didn't save him in the end. Like the Doctor said, “The way I see it, every life is a pile of good things and bad things. The good things don't always soften the bad things, but vice versa, the bad things don't always spoil the good things or make them unimportant.”

4. The Husbands of River Song [2015 Christmas Special]

I looked forward to finally watching this episode for so long leading up to it because I had heard such flattering things about it; and it didn't disappoint. After many episodes that felt lacking or one dimensional, this special brought back an element of camp, humor, and fun that had been missing, all the while including beloved characters and dramatic sequences. Allowing the Doctor an opportunity to see how one of his companions, especially River, acts when he is not around gives the audience so much more insight into her character and the Doctor a chance to learn and grow. Asking her about himself and learning that, although she may be worried or grieving, she finds these feelings worth it just to keep loving him. Considering how much River puts a mask on around 11 to not show her age and sadden him, it was refreshing to see a new side of her. Not to mention, the storyline for the special was interesting and compelling without being overwhelming in a way that took away from the characters. Although it's unlikely that the Doctor doubted River's feelings for him, this episode gave ultimate proof regarding how much she cares about him. Unfortunately, it also showcases how little River thinks of herself in relation to the Doctor. And, yet, there 12 is to prove her wrong when it mattered. Best of both worlds! Finally, the tenderness mixed with grief and understanding that we end the special with is such a perfect conclusion to River's story with the Doctor as it reflects their whole saga together perfectly. River's argument to the Doctor that, "Happily ever after doesn't mean forever, it just means time." was so special and the Doctor finally allowing himself to settle down (if only for a little bit) was exactly the kind of growth the character needed.

3. Wild Blue Yonder [2nd 2023 David Tennent Special]

I watched this episode yesterday and by gods it quickly skyrocketed to one of my favorites, where do I even start. Within the first few minutes of the episode, we are given many similarities and differences when comparing this Doctor and Donna adventure to their previous excursions. While they still compliment each other well, offering understanding and push-back, it is also clear the ways they have matured. Donna seems more in touch with her emotions and how she is truly feeling. When we first met her, she had a lot of anger and frustration within her from constantly being scrutinized and ignored. Now, we can see she is more peaceful and secure, even if below the surface some hesitation still lingers. Whereas, in the Doctor's case, he is so much more open to affection and vulnerability. The lessons he learned as 11 and 13 showed him that he could trust others, even if it is slowly. Although he is still trying to ignore or repress many things that have happened to him, he is at peace with them more than he was as 10. They both are less rageful. So, from a literary standpoint, just the beginning of this episode was wonderful. The classic "TARDIS fucks off somewhere leaving the company stranded" and "Doctor loses his sonic screwdriver and doesn't know what to do with himself for a bit" tropes came back swinging, and the way it affected the duo was wonderful to watch. The reality of the situation wasn't quickly swept under the rug or ignored because of a bigger problem, they got to sit in their fear for a while which was beautiful. The slow realization throughout the episode as if the audience is figuring out the answer at the same time as the Doctor just felt satisfying. Small, seemingly disconnected things coming together to form a compelling mystery. And, because it takes so long to give us the answer, we feel the carnal fear of the unknown just like the Doctor and Donna. I was tense when I realized they weren't talking to each other, but copies. I was scared when they were separated. And, the best part of the whole fucking episode, I didn't know who was who. That was terrifying! Up until the last second, I thought the Doctor had made the right choice, too! It kept me on the edge of my seat, informed me so much about the characters, explored a terrifying "what if" in a way only sci-fi can replicate, and was silly as hell. Loved every second. Also, the little robot guy was cute as hell.

2. Heaven Sent [9x11]

Explodes everywhere I love 12. This Doctor is characterized as a less nice, but still very kind regeneration. He holds so many conflicting feelings regarding the loss of the Ponds, his changing relationship with Clara, his perception of himself. I loved how he acted in his episodes. as socially confused, because it felt very familiar to me. The way his brain always seemed too loud and his loner energy was such a switch-up compared to 11. and yet so in character all the same. This episode carried this perfect essence of Doctor Who that felt lost in the majority of the last couple seasons. An entire episode where the Doctor is alone, and grieving, and loving, and problem-solving all at the same time was so compelling. Although it is clear I am more of a fan of episodes that focus on the characters and not the current storyline, this story was enthralling even if it took away from character moments sometimes. Do I wish we had more chances at the beginning/middle of the episode to properly address or reminisce about Clara? Yes. But, after watching the whole episode, it is clear why it was done. The setting for Heaven Sent was so intriguing, and the whole episode we are just wondering as much as the Doctor is; Why? Why is he being chased, why was he brought here, why are there shovels? It reeled us in. And then, once we realize the torture he is putting himself through, the dramatics, character information, and emotion we are given is so heart-wrenching. Evidently, Clara gave the Doctor a comfort greater and worth more than 5 billion years of torture. Could you imagine that? The depth of his love for Clara is given so much of a spotlight in this episode, and I am frothing at the mouth for it. Especially considering how they may frustrate or hurt each other, they still know each other. They help each other. And goddammit, he is not going to let her go. But, this stubbornness isn't necessarily a good thing. One important thing about loving someone is knowing when to let them go. This love for Clara was selfish the same way her love was for him in these intense moments where they sacrifice themselves for each other. They were doing it to prove something to themselves, to get the other back because they couldn't accept they were gone, not because it would be a better existence for the one in danger. Clara didn't want to be saved, she was being brave. And this imperfect grief the Doctor experiences was so achingly realistic. When I lost my cousin, it was so hard to accept. I wanted to ignore it, I wanted to be angry, I wanted him back. But, in the end, it was his time. This journey the Doctor goes on regarding yet another loss felt so powerful. He was forced to feel this and it hurt, he couldn't just try and quickly forget about it or sulk on his own terms. At the same time, the revelations he comes to throughout the episode were so reassuring to hear someone outside of my own head say. "It’s funny. The day you lose someone isn’t the worst. At least you’ve got something to do. It’s all the days they stay dead."

Turn Left [4x11]

This comes as a surprise to no one as someone who has been PREACHING character > story. This episode, while being a perfect set up for the finale, tells us so fucking much about the Doctor and, more importantly, ABOUT DONNA! Without Donna, there's no Doctor. Without the Doctor, everything goes to shit! Seeing as we, the audience, are usually seeing the universe by following the Doctor, a companion-focused episode was so refreshing. We got to learn so much about who Donna is, what her life back home was like before we met her, and gave realistic consequences to her actions. FUCK YEAH! It felt grounded, it felt interesting. I also adore the theory that every action we take splits us off into a new universe or timeline, so this episode was so perfect for me. DONNA'S INTERACTIONS WITH ROSE!!! Their comradery and understanding, the way Rose takes Donna under her wing, a moment where we see them as real people without the Doctor intervening or affecting the discussion. The importance of Donna to the universe being made so clear. WILF'S FLASHBACKS!! It's been forever since I saw this episode, but it is so rewatchable and makes me so interested every. single. time. The end of the episode is bone-chilling, with her literally killing herself to save the universe. And then!! The Doctor being out of the loop for once and understanding the severity of the situation with the return of the Bad Wolf. Explodes everywhere, words do not do justice the pure love, respect, and admiration I have for this episode and every actor, producer, tech person, writer, involved. Thank you GODS for this episode, I love you turn left. This lesson that every single person is indispensable and important sets up that conversation in later seasons and eventually becomes the main reoccurring theme of the show. Every Donna Noble, Rose Tyler, and Martha Jones of the universe is important and loved and unique and dbiubibjbjbgiufgbfgu you get me?

Honorable mentions:

The Parting of Ways [1x13]

The first finale of new who, and it was so gooooood!! Tied up the Bad Wolf hints, gave interesting endings to the TARDIS crew, told us so much about the ninth doctor, gave us confirmed ninerose, had a compelling storyline behind it, and just a classic good episode to go back to.

Tooth and Claw [2x2]

I know I've been mostly talking about the character implications of my favorite episodes, but this one was just interesting and fun. I loved the dynamic between the Doctor and Rose, the adventure, the silliness, the royal family being involved. Just a good, well-paced, wonderful episode.

The God Complex [6x11]

This episode was so yummy. While I was watching 11's seasons, I did get the vibe that Amy looked up and admired the Doctor in an unhealthy way and I loved how this episode addressed this. The idea that this thing was taking the forms of people's worst fears, the mystery of what the Doctor saw, the interesting characters, the understanding on what a God Complex actually was, its wonderful!!

The Timeless Children [12x10]

This may be controversial and I don't care!! I loved the way this episode was structured. I was confused and interested the whole time and when it fell into place I actually had to pause and pace around because OH MY GODS!!! it was a well-done reveal that had such interesting implications and I believe every reaction was in character and made sense. At first, I was upset about the loss of the former perception of the Doctor; Just a regular ol' guy who decided to act out and, above all, be kind. Suddenly, she was from another universe and was the original timelord and i was a little sad. But, the way it has been handled after feels so fitting, and it puts the rest of the show into perspective. All of the confusing things that set the Doctor apart from the others, it made sense now! I loved this episode, I thought it was a great.

The Village of the Angels [13x4]

I LOVED THE FLUX!! getting to have a old-school style season wherein the who season was just one problem was so cool and allowed for so much information! This episode specifically was so compelling. I loved the Professor Jericho; was SUCH a great addition to the TARDIS crew, and the way the handled the angels was arguably better than Time of Angels + Flesh and Stone. They were terrifying, the mystery was intriguing, and the characters were interesting!!! The only difficult part of this episode was keeping track of who was who as someone who has difficulty recognizing faces. Besides that, I fucking loved The Village of the Angels.

[frogmanfae]

Something about Fiddler on the Roof that you don't actually see a ton of in older shows is that the couples who get married during the show are all so genuinely in love from both sides. (I'm ranting about all 3 of them under the cut be warned)

Tzeitel and Motel were risking so much by going against the tradition and getting married, especially Tzeitel because she was the woman and their customs saw daughters as someone to be controlled, especially through marriage. Tzeitel could have married rich, she had the opportunity, but she loved Motel. As for Motel's love, he sings a whole giddy song about this miracle performed by god himself. "Of all god's miracles large and small, the most miraculous one of all, is the one I thought could never be, god has given you to me" like are you joking? If someone said this to me I'd be head over heels too. Tevye even said "they are so happy they don't see how miserable they are" meaning they are poor and struggle a lot, but they're so happy together it doesn't matter, and that's pretty beautiful.

Hodel went to Siberia to be with Perchik after he got arrested and they weren't even married yet. "Leaving the home I love there where my heart has settled long ago, I must go, I MUST go. Who could image I'd be wandering so far from the home I love. Yet, there with my love, I'm home" She completely redefined what home was to her. He made her grow and opened her eyes and she has dreams bigger than Anatevka now. Perchik's character in general is the only one who thinks women are people (an actual line) so when he asks her to marry him, he wouldn't do that if he saw her as property. In fact, he might have been the only one who didn't see her as property. His song to her was so deeply open that it makes the audience feel the love between two actors that might not even have real love (if performed properly). "I have something that I would die for, something that I would live for too" loving someone so much that you will REFUSE to die because of them is not a trope explored enough, especially considering that Perchik was arrested in Siberia a few weeks later. "Now I have everything. Not only everything, I have a little bit more. Besides having everything, I know what everything's for" SHES HIS CLARITY SHE GIVES MEANING TO EVERYTHING HES EVER WORKED FOR COME ON

I feel like I don't even have to talk about Chava and Fyedka. Chava literally got disowned for Fyedka and she knew it would happen. She gained absolutely nothing from marrying him if not happiness. And Fyedka likely faced a lot of back lash from his peers for marrying her as well off stage/off screen. In the end, he even moved out of Anatevka because he didn't like that the people living there could push people out based on religion and nothing more. They both gave up everything for each other.

[beewolfwrites]

The Weight of Guilt

Request: 

I feel like there’s some serious childhood trauma in Chishiya’s past and would love a story where he gets triggered by something which causes a panic attack and his girlfriend try’s to help but it’s difficult because he doesn’t feel he deserves help or has never had help before??

Chishiya x OC/Fem!Reader (The girlfriend could be either really, she wasn’t given a name)

Here guys, have a one-shot because why not! Bear in mind, when I was writing this, I figured that Chishiya doesn’t seem like the kind of character to have a full-blown chaotic panic attack. He seems more like someone who would be very still and quiet until it goes away. 

(Also Beware! This is very loosely proofed. Some of you all know how bad my proofing can be)

__________________________________________________

Well, this had never happened before. Nor had he ever expected it to. 

A simple medical supply run had taken him straight back to the very hospital he had been itching to escape from prior to the Borderlands. And while his companion had disappeared into the musty wards in search of bandages, antibiotics and morphine, Chishiya took the opportunity to pay a little visit to his old unit.

It was fascinating in a way. The operating theatres were dark inside and hauntingly devoid of life. Recovery was just the same. The beds were all empty, as expected, but the patient charts were still attached to the end of each one. Naturally, he wandered down the corridors into the very ward he had been stationed in that day, right before the world disappeared. 

He traced each bed, noting how the bedside tables were covered in small mementos, flowers and gifts from family and friends. All relics of a world long gone. 

‘Chishiya?’ 

His companion’s voice sounded in the distance, but he barely heard it. 

He barely heard it because he realised that he was standing before that bed. The sheets were dusty, but a familiar plastic dinosaur was on the bedside table and a vase of carnations had dried to a crisp. 

‘Chishiya?’

That voice again. The sound was drowned out by a surging sensation throughout his body, a strange gushing in his chest. His fingers felt almost detached from his hands, like those of a marionette. He clenched and unclenched them, yet he felt nothing. 

He felt nothing back then too. When they handed him a manila envelope and rearranged the priority list for heart transplants, Chishiya had felt nothing. Even when they had wheeled the boy’s body to the morgue in the basement, his mother still in the ward, clutching her chest as she howled, he had felt nothing but acceptance. 

So why now? That was the question. 

And why now, of all times, did his head feel underwater? Why was his throat constricted, as though there was a tight band wrapped around it? Why did his tongue feel larger than usual in his dry mouth, swollen enough to restrict his airways?  

And that strange gushing sensation had only grown stronger, fuelling him with the urge to run away. And yet he couldn’t move himself from the bedside. 

Why couldn’t he move? 

‘Chishiya?’ 

She was right behind him now, in the doorway of the ward. Her footsteps clacked against the floor, growing uncomfortably loud, and a hand touched his shoulder. He didn’t have the energy to shrug it away. 

‘Are you okay?’ 

Normal. He had to appear normal. ‘I’m fine.’ 

‘Don’t lie to me,’ she said quickly. 

‘And why exactly would I do that?’ 

‘Don’t try to distract me either.’ She moved around him, checking him over. ‘You don’t seem okay.’ 

She was trying to read him, something that he disliked intensely. He didn’t want her to see this part of him. He had never told her about the things he did before they came here. If he did, surely she wouldn’t stick around. 

But would she still stick around now? After this? 

He knew exactly what he was experiencing. The DSM-5 had been sitting on his desk for months after he had completed two modules in advanced neuroscience. He understood the symptoms of an anxiety-provoked fight or flight reaction… on paper at least. But he had never truly understood it until now. 

He shoved his hands into his pockets, forcing himself to move away from her. ‘I told you, I’m fine.’ 

In truth, his head was swimming and he had to lean against the railing of the bed for support. But she didn’t need to know that. Nobody could see this kind of weakness, not even her. 

‘Chishiya,’ she stepped towards him again. ‘You… you’re tilting. Just—please just sit down with me, okay? You look like you’re going to faint.’ 

‘I’m not going to—‘

‘Please.’ 

He looked at her properly, although it was difficult to focus on the softness of her features, pinched in concern, when everything felt so watery and distant. All he needed was these symptoms to go away. Though he knew he wasn’t in any danger, and this was just his body’s reaction, there was no way he could logic himself out of it. Perhaps distraction was the answer. 

‘Fine,’ he said. ‘But we’re just wasting time.’ 

‘The supplies aren’t going anywhere. They can wait.’ 

She sat down on the bed — that bed — and patted the space next to him. He looked at it for a long moment, knowing that if he didn’t sit beside her, she would immediately realise why. So, whilst the thought appalled him, he took a seat on the soft mattress. 

She sighed, smiling. ‘You should have told me this was your hospital. I had a feeling when we walked in.’ 

He didn’t reply. All he could do was focus on a spot on the vinyl floor in hopes that it would somehow make these irksome sensations disappear. 

‘I’m guessing this is where you did your clinical rotations, right?’ She paid no mind to his lack of response. ‘You know, when I was a kid I ended up in a place just like this. I was pretty sick for a while, and it wasn’t looking too good. There was an intern there. He wasn’t my actual doctor, but he was shadowing.’ 

‘Oh really…’ 

It was the only reply Chishiya could muster. 

‘Yeah, even though he was an intern he must have been a mature student because he had a pretty impressive moustache. He used to style it in all these weird ways, just to make the kids laugh.’ 

She chuckled a little, lost in her own memory.  ‘I thought it was funny at the time.’ 

‘You would,’ Chishiya muttered. 

‘Hey!’ She lightly pushed her shoulder into his, careful not to actually shove him. 

Despite the fact that he was only half listening, her story was giving him something to focus on. His tongue still felt swollen, and the band around his throat was as tight as ever. But that strange gushing sensation had quietened, and somehow just anchoring himself on the bed helped ease his lightheadedness. 

‘Looking back now,’ she continued, ‘he’s probably an amazing paediatrician. I didn’t realise it at the time, but there were some kids there who were dying. He did what he could for them, even if it wasn’t much.’ 

Was she trying to make him feel better or worse? It wasn’t clear. He would much rather face the humiliation of dying in an Ace of Diamonds game before growing out his facial hair and styling it like a clown just to please some children. Was that why he felt this way? Because deep down, although he was just a medical student, and although death came with the job, Chishiya knew that some deaths were preventable. 

And yet, he had stood there, watching passively as they wheeled the boy’s body away. 

‘Look,’ she said. ‘I don’t know what’s going on, or what caused this — and you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to — but if you ever do want to, I’m here.’ 

Chishiya swallowed, unable to meet her gaze. 

‘I get that you like to keep your old life pretty private, and that’s fine. But I just need you to know that no matter what happened in the past, I’ll listen. I’m always here to listen.’ 

He couldn’t speak, simply because he didn’t know what to say. And if she knew what he had done… 

It wasn’t the time for a conversation like that. 

Maybe one day he would take her up on the offer. But right now, her words alone were enough to quench the dryness of his mouth and the tightness of his throat. A weight lifted from deep within his chest, and the world that had seemed so blurry only minutes before was now just within reach.