#Hatchetfield Stopwatch

[eli-am-confused]

I’ve seen some people add Officer Bailey into the Jon Matteson character family tree as one of Richie’s uncles and I love it so much. But why stop there? If we really wanna joke about how big this family is why not add more Curt Mega characters into it?

Curt’s shopper from Black Friday? Yeah he’s one of Richie’s uncles and he and Gary talked about who was gonna get a Wiggly doll for which kid.

Eddie Chiplucky is a very distant relative from the south and he actually looks out for Daniel in the ring (shhh I don’t care if it’s accurate to the show we’re having fun here).

Hell even President Howard Goodman is distantly related to these people! I know because I saw pictures of him as a little kid in the huge family photo album Paul keeps on a random bookshelf in his living room.

Is Duke Keane related to them? Who knows! Definitely not him!

I’m just saying that like half of the adults in hatchetfeild are Richie’s (also Trever’s and Daniel’s) uncles and I love that for him (them).

[shvmblr]

Compulsory Jon Matteson appreciation post ‼️

here’s a few sketches of some of his characters I made for stickers!! :)

[honeyspawn]

He gets typecast as blue.

[just-some-normal-jessica]

woe. jon character lineup be upon ye

individual sillies under the cut

[eldritch-ace]

I love Hannah so much, I know she had to leave Hatchetfield in Yellowjacket, but it made me so happy that she got some buddies. I think it’s supposed to happen closer to 2016, so I think they’d still be into Pokémon GO :P

[vilnmelling]

Jon Matteson family tree headcanon, anyone?

Emma found out about each of Paul's relatives separately.

First Emma scratched someone's car, and while they were discussing what to do about it, Paul said, "If it comes down to it, I can get in contact with Gary." "Gary Goldstein? You're on a first name basis with the only lawyer in town?" "Yeah. He's my older brother."

A couple of weeks later, Emma's talking about the rare instances when she actually remembers something about the Beanie's customers, and she mentions a guy with really weird and greasy, anime-like hair. "Huh. I didn't know Richie liked Beanie's." "Who?" "Richie. My nephew. With the anime hair."

An ad for Camp Idontwannabang comes up on TV, and Emma recalls her horrible summer at Camp Idontwannabang as a teenager. Then Paul pulls out the, "I'm glad I never had to go. My cousin's one of the counselors — well, one of the directors now — so my parents decided I shouldn't have to spend an entire summer with him." "Boy Jerry's your fucking cousin?"

While on their way somewhere, they run into Daniel outside the Roller-rama. Emma's like, "God, I feel like I've seen that kid outside the Roller-rama ten times." "Yeah, Daniel goes there a lot." "Why the fuck do you know his name?" "He's my other nephew."

Finally, Paul brings Emma to a family gathering, where she spots the identical Lipschitz twins, who she's always assumed to be the same person when she's seen them separately. "There's TWO of them?" "Yeah, that's Trevor. My third nephew."

Skip forward another few weeks and there's something on the news about politics and so forth. "That secretary of defense looks a bit like you, Paul. What's he; another secret brother?" "No." "Yeah, I know, I'm just messing—" "Wallace is my cousin."

[ren-is-real]

16 HABITS TO MAKE YOU POOR IN HATCHETFEILD!!!!!

Base +additional reason

I’m sorry the base was too perfect I had to also it was really fun drawing all the hatchetfeild characters (also this was my first time properly drawing Ted to be posted I think??? Idk I’m not happy with it I’m sorry teddy boy I’ll do u better next time <\\3)

[kmesons]

some hatchetfield character art requests from discord! love drawing the inhabitants of this strange little (?) town.

[rockrosethistle]

I've been trying to figure out Jon Matteson Character Family Tree theory

after all of my limited research, here's what I've come up with:

Wallace is using his military powers to keep Lumberaxe hidden.

Richie is unhelpful to this cause and once told Pete "did you know my second cousin is the hatchetfield axe man."

'Uncle Paul' drives Gary's kids to school. One day they got in the car and there was a whole seven year old child back there also calling him 'Uncle Paul.'

Also Paul's been offering the kids money in exchange for dirt on Ted.

Gary knows one of his kids likes anime and the other likes superheroes but he can't really tell the difference. Paul has seen one episode of sailor moon and thinks he knows everything ("who do you kin? Who do you ship? You know who I kin? ... you.")

Gary also went out of his way to join the Wiggly cult because he knew it would piss off Jerry.

Daniel is surprisingly close with his cousin Wallace. It turns out having psychic abilities can be really useful to the Secretary of Defence.

Also Daniels been buying a lot of stuff recently with money that came from...the 'stock market.' He got himself some new roller blades and got Richie some anime pillows. Gary pretends not to notice but already is writing up a case for Daniel incase he gets in trouble.

Aunt Emma has secretly been buying Richie blue hair dye for like a year. Gary has no idea where it's all coming from, but he keeps finding the empty boxes and Richie's been wearing a lot of hats recently.

(Which really confuses him because he never told Richie he couldn't dye his hair.)

[summon-us-once]

I love the hc that all of Jon’s characters are related cause on one hand you’ve got this loser anime dweeb but in the other you have this unhinged lawyer. But then you’ve also got the most basic guy to ever exist then you have some kid with super powers AND you also have a religious virgin with a murderous inhumane son who lives in the woods, and I’m not even going to include what might happen if you try involve wiggly somehow. It’s just so crazy (I love it so much)

[jamie-is-out-of-ideas]

everyone in the hatchetfield fandom coming to the conclusion that all of the human characters played by Jon Matteson are related is probably my favourite thing about this fandom /pos

[eli-am-confused]

More family members gossiping at the reunion.

Yes I’m posting more stuff about the Jon Matteson (+ Curt Mega) character family tree. This time including more Jon Matteson Characters!

I went to bed thinking about this last night btw.

Bonus: Ed knows when he’s being talked about and Peanuts will hear about it. They interrupted his nap.

If you can’t read it’s all under the cut.

First picture-

Boy Jerry: Little Ed has a son? But he was so good at being celibate! I can’t believe he’s a dirty sinner now!

Officer Bailey: I didn’t even know he knew how to talk to girls.

Daniel: guys, it’s a squirrel.

Second picture-

Officer Bailey: Oooh! Yeah that makes way more sense!

Boy Jerry: taking care of another one of Gods creations in need, he’s such a good child of the Lord unlike the rest of you.

Daniel: Hey! I’m just 15!

Third picture-

Proud Papa Ed: Someone’s talking shit Peanuts. I bet it’s Bailey.

[itsdefinitely]

Did you draw stopwatch with hearing aids?

i did and i'll do it again. watch this

[wardback]

I made a thing

The jon matteson alignment chart

[allhailwiggly]

'the spankoffskis can't interact now' 'lex and grace will never be able to meet' 'we'll never see alice and steph together' lauren lopez didn't play two versions of emma perkins fighting each other for this

[bazzleman]

the magical kids ever honestly