#Harry calling Voldy his Monster is my everything | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

racfoam · 4 months ago

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I was rereading nynn, as I am wont to do, and I got to the part where Sirius asks Harry if Voldie knows she and Cedric dated and she's thinking in her mind that she doubts if he'd care. Like Harry, have we been observing the same man? Like the man who obsessively tries to get you by his side and calls you his every time he can fit it in a conversation? That man wouldn't care?! BSFFR rn Harry 😂

The cackle I let out. The cackle I cackled. Bless you for this @higanbanabythesea I hope you're enjoying your re-read ❤️

I think Harry thinks/says that bcs she herself is in denial, and (I need to re-read my own story so correct me if I'm wrong here) the graveyard happened like ten minutes ago when she is thinking those thoughts/conversations?

AAAAND I need to-read my own fic. FUCK, idk in which chapter that was when Sirius asked her, in Grimmauld or in the bathroom in 4th Year, OH MY GOD, MY READERS KNOW MY OWN FIC BETTER THAN ME, I AM HONOURED BUT ALSO I am ashamed.

In short, if it was in the bathroom in 4th Year, Harry... She does not know Voldemort well, she cannot read him for SHIT. She is 14, she is terrified, she just got back from the graveyard (where she thought for 99% of the time she was screwed, she thought she was 100% fucked because if Priori Incantatem doesn't happen, she'd get blasted into unconsciousness so all of it was an overall GAMBLE and IF I GO OUT I'LL GO OUT FIGHTING attitude we all know and love Harry for)

Harry is in very very very very very very very deep hole of DENIAL. It will get touched upon in the sequel, and fnnily enough it will be Hermione & Ron who tell her "he has been doing everything in his power to get to you and you think he wouldn't care that you were with Cedric" and Ron adds sr like "Harry, he'd set the entire world on fire if he found out you danced, and even worse — kissed Cedric and were DATING him" Ron knows the most what's up, but Hermione does, too, bcs come on, it's Hermione.

I think, Harry, overall, thinks Voldemort really does not care who she was with, mostly because Voldemort considers her his so any other suitors/past relationships Harry's had aren't important - that's what Harry thinks. Harry thinks Voldemort has 0, absolutely 0 interest romantically in her, or about her other relationships. She thinks all he wants with her is to use her or just get her out of the way and lock her up in a room.

Hell, I still think Harry thinks that. Because... (Points to the Chamber scenario) Yeah, Tom has not shown even then he thinks of Harry as an equal back then.

Harry is working with very very limited information overall. I think she does see it, but she is young and she is fckn TERRIFIED of the other possibilities Voldemort caring about who Harry dates (Harry shouldn't date anyone in Voldemort's mind, mind you, she should let Voldemort COURT her but those two things are I think vastly different in society even in the normal world there is much more formality in courting than in dating) BRINGS.

I think Harry painted this picture of Voldemort according to what other people told her about him, and of what she read in books about him - not that I think there are any people who could write a deep biography of him bcs of how secretive he is and how he doesn't connect with his servants or share his past/personal thoughts with them - and the picture she has is of a cunning, manipulative murderer — a villain, an evil man, a monster in appearance itself, who doesn't give a damn about Harry’s life. And he 100% is that. He is evil. He isn't gonna change. But he cares about her life, and Harry still doesn't get that bcs of DENIAL and FEAR. There is a difference between an evil man wanting to kill her, and an evil man wanting to have her, to be with her.

Harry buries those thoughts very fckn deep, and it's normal for her to do so. Honestly, I'm glad you noticed this! Gave me an excuse to talk about it, hehe.

Also, Harry is canonically the most OBLIVIOUS character in the HP world 🤣 Voldemort can give as many hints, verbal or actions-wise, and it will still go OVER Harry's head and I think that's hilarious. Cedric needed to make a direct direct move for Harry to go to the ball with him ie ask Harry. Voldemort hasn't done a lot of asking, only announcing. Harry is just "oh, he's going on the soulmate ramble again" and just shuts him off 🤣🤣

Thanks for the laugh, and thank you for the ask! ❤️

#harrymort #tomarry #harry potter #tomarrymort #asks #female harry potter #tom riddle #lord voldemort

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beardedmrbean · 11 months ago

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Shit got detour, but for gun magic

Now I absolutely 100% understand why Rowling avoided such a idea given it’s was already a bitch to do magical stuff for kids thanks to parent groups AND all the discourse around that time

But if I was to make gun magic, I would say that early development of it did exist in the ancient past like with China. And the European wizard improved it but in the end it was considered a niche as I check wands been in use in the potter since the BC era. So magical guns were a niche in the old world that got heavily developed in the new world for multiple reasons.

🤔

What tribes folklore giants we didn’t wipeout completely in the Wild West we can use? Like here a joke

The native wizard: Pale one, perhaps we can use our magic to create certain guns?

The cowboy wizard: Why?

The giant monster in the distance: GROOOOORA!

Cowboy:…I got a idea

Oh oh oh! UFO sightings in Nevada and areas actually just wizard flying around?

Of course American wizards use wands since they were acknowledged since book 4 and we saw them in fantastic beasts though I heard Ilvermorny kids can’t take their wands homes and have to leave it at school until the age of 17

Oh yeah that totally going to work with a lot of Americans wizards

(They probably have more bootleg magical items than all the prohibiton bootleg liquor and poor black person bootleg dvd collections…not that I may or may not have my own or know a guy)

Also one thing, Rowling (and people who try to copy her) often forget that Harry Potter Wizarding setting worked because she combined and modernize it. And used Britain existing folklore. She also had the Roman republic/empire to fall back to as a the Roman’s established a lot of trades routes in Western Europe thus many wizards from different parts of it could interacted and merge.

Maybe because she is British, Rowling can’t or don’t understand how diverse everything is. Like I can see the magical Congress she made try to keep the American Wizard society in check. But so vast

I mean look at the Midwest, Midwest wizards probably got a lot of good farming magic. But we also probably very innovative

Hmm as a Chicagoan…should I say the Midwestern wizards made a magical Tommy gun? Much pay homage to the infamous Al Capone

Also not to mention the LOCAL native tribes that still exist. I mean western tribes would definitely have their own desert magic vs the forest eastern ones.

Of course she mention the European wizards…but we should also have a huge change when the Chinese and other Asians wizards immigrated to America. Maybe martial art magic is an extra curriculum and such.

Am I making sense, yeah the American wizards guns is funny because we would make some of the most powerful magic bullets that would be consider heresy

But a joke if Voldemort won and attacked America

Voldemort: You disgusted mutts, the blood of the must powerful wizards runs in your veins yet also the blood of steer rats

The current head of the magical Congress(been around since Teddy and look like an America navy officer around that time): Ah voldy mort! Welcome to America!

V: You dare talk to me like a commoner!

American Wizard: I would say you can go to Asia as their Wizard got skin magic that can make you look handsome

V: Enough, my dear eaters would rule this filthy country! You thought it was foolish enough to leave all your items in Massachusetts?!

AW: (Holy shit they took the bait), hmm Mr snake Sidious

V: Who?

AW: Nevermind, but heard about an infamous writer called HP lovecraft?

V: That foolish man? Yes

AW: Well his stories were real since those asses couldn’t shut up around the time and we ask him who was probe by them often to infamous the No-Maj about such creature

V: those stories are true!

AW: Kinda, but check this bowl

Voldemort then saw visions of his death eaters ripping each other faces off, screaming around like mad, and being eaten by horrific monsters

V: W-Why I was never told this?!

AW: Because your a racist inbreed jackaas that could barely tolerate fellow English man much less America

V: I will have my revenge!

AW: Man those southern wizards are good with illusions *snap his fingers*

The room dissolved and Voldemort say they were in a purple cosmos realm. He then heard giant creepy laughing

AW: All your’s Kulu

Voldemort turn around and saw it was the infamous old one Cthulhu. Despite having the master wand and use all three forgivable curses. The old one laugh and grabbed the dark lord

V: NOOOOOO I CAN NOT DIED I CAN NOT-proceed to be eaten

AW: Ugh good, now take you little nap kulu *pic up an old telephone* Yeah operation “help mother Britain” is a go. Well at least he did go to Mexico, those wizards would have gut him harder than a fish

Now I absolutely 100% understand why Rowling avoided such a idea given it’s was already a bitch to do magical stuff for kids thanks to parent groups AND all the discourse around that time

Post on here was just something about a exchange student from America at the battle of Hogwarts pulling out a handgun, I think that was what it was, faster than magic since you don't need to say words and do something with your wand.

I cast glock, pulls out a gun boom dead.

UFO's are golden snitches that made their way too far away from the quidditch pitch.

The current head of the magical Congress(been around since Teddy and look like an America navy officer around that time): Ah voldy mort! Welcome to America!

Admiral of the Navy George Dewy work as a model for you, he was in charge of the fleet in the Spanish American war so perfect for TR.

The conversation there was brilliant BTW, funny stuff.

#zoomer huey anon

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mrstellmeafuckingsecret · 2 months ago

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NO SO REAL ive been writing on docs ...

barty is so def a monsterfucker. like he would look at an eldritch monster and be like 10/10 smash.

also ?? voldemort was hot in the first war??

yes barty being like voldemort>bcsr because at least voldemort brings results!! bcsr makes time for other people but not for his own so ?? asshole!!

also help the point about voldemort being the only person who makes time for bcjr?? gut-wrenching. so valid. yes in barty's eyes voldemort is the best person ever because he cares for bcjr + i feel like he humanizes voldemort a LOT like in his eyes ofc voldemort is the dark lord and the bullshit but ultimately a really powerful man. a man. just like himself. <3

grr him introducing himself as voldemort's bitch is a drug. bellatrix is his most devout follower, sure, but voldemort scratches his scalp and calls barty his bitch and now whenever a new death eater joins barty boasts about. leaning into dog barty here idk it feels right.

YES like he founds out what voldy said at the graveyard and that makes bcjr go crazy because wdym the thing voldemort told him he only ever told to harry potter, the boy who lived?? he's that important?? hes litr ready to peel his fingernails off for this man

also the "he could convince bcj to walk around with his shoes tied together and he’d do it" just makes me think voldemort def fucked around w bcjr. like he would have him do lowk humiliating stuff (maybe straight up humiliating stuff!) like we know from canon voldemort takes pleasure in being a pain in the ass sawr yk funsies.

also like the idea of bcsr doing humiliating bcjr. like in a diff way (this is a random ramble) like just bringing up his faults and all the embarrassing shit he did as a child and bcjr is seethinggg but its okay when voldemort does it bc voldemort is Hot

(also yes regulus is soo delusional help every time i remember how voldemort never saw or knew what he did i die laughing. hes such a loser <33)

help yes weirdo loser creepy oversensitive bcjr is soo fine like i just know he cries when like the most normal things happen. "barty why are you crying" "my shirt got wet 😿😿" "it's fucking raining. everything is wet."

ughhh james and sirius hurt sm because james wants to understand what sirius is feeling so bad and sirius would rather rip his dick off with a can opened than let him feel any of what he's feeling yk.

yes james doesnt understand what sirius sees in bcsr and he also doesnt understand why sirius doesnt come home with him!! his parents adore sirius, but sirius seems to hide further and further into the shadows whenever they see him lately and he just. he doesnt get it.

sirius would take any attack on bcsr so seriously, and more than that he'd take it as an attack of himself!! does james think sirius can't be trusted, cant make his own decisions? that he needs james to hold his leash hand and lead him everywhere because sirius is some lost dog without a kennel?? sirius has lived a hard life, even when he's barely a teenager he recognizes it. he can deal with his life himself, he's almost toxically independent and having james in his life is so new and good, but it's also new and bad because he can feel himself needing james when he isnt really supposed to be needing anyone!! and he cant simply go to james, either, one because ego, and two because, horrifically, he's starting to need bcsr too. he needs to hear he's good and he's making someone proud and that bcsr wishes he was his son instead of bcjr. the potters say it, sure, but they give out love like candy - with bcsr? you have to earn it. if he disappoints, he gets hit, if he doesnt he gets head a reward, he feels validated but only because he has to work for it - because the idea of just being loved isnt one sirius has, it comes off as pity to him.

idk thats a weirdly shaped paragraph and grammatically incorrect but haha suffer

anyway yes when sirius comes to bcsr's open arms after fighting with james and bcsr insults james sirius does feel hurt - because insulting james means insulting him (like how it was w jfp and bcsr's roles reversed) but where then it was sirius' pride and ego being hurt, now it's his insecurities being attacked, his petulance, his brashness. (not his sharp words, bcsr values a cruel canine).

yes yes yes sirius is a kid who does not understand why they think bcsr is bad, he punishes bad, rewards good, isnt that how its supposed to be? fleamont and euphemia keep repeating whatever james said and it makes sirius feel like they think he's stupid, or slow, because he hears what theyre saying he just doesn't deem it important.

ughh bcsr being butthurt about boyfriend not coming to him is like 1) funny 2) so sad ?? (for sirius, ofc, fuck bcsr <3). sirius feels sm guilt because bcsr doesnt like his sonn and hed be so alone and mrs crouch doesnt get him like he does (this line triggers alarm bells in f&e's mind) . but like it ending very abruptly is very important to me. theres no closure or scream-y fight its just owls and then no more owls !!

ughh youre making my heart hurt for bcjr rn i can imagine like 11-12yo bcjr being happy dads home early but nope turns out he didnt go at all (litr unprecedented) and instead took sirius to whatever exhibit or museum or whatever kids like idk he wanted?? bonus point if bcjrs been wanting to go forever and bcsr said he was too busy to take him??

like, pre this awakening, maybe bcjr got along w sirius but after it bcjr developes resentmenttt (the crush comes later) and every time sirius is over or he sees him in school he wants to rip him to shreds.

oo which makes me think, do you think this would affect deathstar's relationship in school? it's probable that they never talk at all but like where's the fun in that yk.

yes ugh sirius doesnt know how big this is, he thinks it's just a "aw :( too bad, anyway-" whereas for all three of the crouches its like !! massive !!

i love the idea of sirius being the very nonchalant one in a family full of Very Chalant People. its very clear he's not one of them yk.

AHH yes bcsr bashing barty's head into a table is like delicious ive been thinking of it 24/7. mrs crouch is screaming and barty is half sobbing half having a villain victory speech monologue bcsr is angry and just hitting and hitting and sirius is like Oh Wow this makes my family seem normal.

yes sirius would be scared because its a lot more bloody than even what goes on in his own house (unless u hc smth else?) and bcsr is disappointed in a rare moment of sirius' apparent 'softness' but he brushes it off as him simply being surprised. even when sirius requests to go home, he excuses it with mrs crouch's insistence that he does (n then mr&mrs crouch fight !! yum !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

yes ahh bcsr being like dont heal bcjrs injuries and mrs crouch doing it anyway because thats her baby !! also bcjr is def the loser who called his dad 'daddy' and mum 'mama' too long idc 💔💔. also random hc i have is that whenever walburga hurt sirius she wouldnt heal it because she liked seeing him bruise and sirius' ptsd just gets triggered from that

ughh sirius being stalked is like. my favr thing. ever. at home regulus does it, here barty does?? he tries to talk to barty but barty just stands and stares at him so sirius is like Okay Man and does whatever. yes yes yes barty imitating sirius !!! it's painfully obvious, too !!! i cant decide whether bcsr would be pleased or not. probably not. he never is.

barty jacking off to the idea of being sirius is like. actual gold. like his face stuffed in sirius' unwashed clothes and his hand on his dick, rutting into it and crying out sirius' name ?? or maybe he pretends he is sirius and says 'dad' instead?? YUM !!!!!!!!

omg yes bcjr drugging and raping sirius is so like fitting. i think the wizarding equivalent would be a love potion? him asking winky (omg forgot about her) to slip it in his food, winky getting punished for it.

also !!!!!!!! the idea of bcsr telling winky to call sirius 'master' and follow his orders is so YUM especially if you hc that after the love potion incident he forbids winky from taking any orders from bcjr !!

yes yes yes lowk flashbacks to harry witnessing swm and thinking it was heinous and unforgivable... unless it was someone horrible (like draco) bc yum harry/sirius parallels random yes ! sirius being like "well he did xyz and he doesnt even try to get better!" (because he doesnt really understand bcjr's mental illness, either) as justification for his abuse because bcsr is good and that ! is ! final !

eek sirius begging lily to litr fix him because he thinks he's broken post depressive episode is so sad but yum love them sm

bcjr's episodes r like breaking actually like i can imagine mrs crouch being so so desperate and bcsr just stunning bcjr because thats the only thing that shuts him up and sirius is like Um because should he tell bcsr that he could ask lily, again, for help? get him muggle medicine? but that would mean he himself had done the same, that sirius was the same as bcjr and that cannot happen so ... guilt !

eek yes i can imagine sirius being like "where's your son?" and bcjr being like "he went to stay with a friend" when he's actually tied up in his room for a few days while mrs crouch is visiting her mother, with only winky for company. it's like horrific and i love it 1000 times more of this please.

ughh yes sirius trying to be good and trying to take the fall for bcjr and bcjr just bodily attacking him ... bcsr would be so so so so SO angry and sirius is just ?? scared ?? as to why he was attacked by what seemed to remind him of a wild dog ??

(i LOVE crackships but like jegulus is uninteresting and boring and tropey and BORING!!! blackcest can be fucked up which reminds me: thoughts??)

UGH sirius using bcjr and exploiting bcjr's crush on him to sleep with him and moan out 'barty' is veryy hot also that is NAWT a moanable name but whatevs . barty & sirius both just creaming at the thought of the Ultimate Groomer is so icky and sad and real and true like theyre rutting their dicks together like dogs in heat and riding each other and eating each other out screaming 'daddy' is so adlasfka

UGHH yes that is. so sad. sirius thinking he's finally found someone to trust, someone who's the perfect parental figure for him only to be proven wrong? him defending bcsr despite knowing bcsr palms his dick whenever sirius bends over and eek yes the thought of sirius being so scared to lose his virginity to someone who he's been jokingly calling dad for almost eight years he just runs and runs and runs till he goes back to where he knows he's safe even if he's an intruder.

but also. the idea of sirius letting bcsr touch him because he's so afraid of losing him and handjobs turn to blowjobs which turn to full on sex and sirius is nauseous afterwards and he's throwing up and barty is watching and he is jealous because why is sirius getting everything when he doesnt want it, when he's hear and he's so good for his dad?

also yes so real if barty could produce a a patronus it would be a worm. actually ??? i think he would bc like it never says healthy memory, it's just a happy one, so regulus and barty discussing it after class and regulus being like "what did you think of? i thought of my brother getting crucioed," and barty being like "omg!! :3 i thought of your brother crucioing me!!" . i can def see bartylus fucking and barty killing the mood by moaning out sirius' name icl

yes yes yes sirius hero worships bcsr. he has ever since he was a child, bcsr is cool and relaxed and always praises him and it doesnt change when they get older, only this time when bcsr calls him a good boy sirius is climbing his lap with his tongue out and fucking himself over bcsr's cocklet .

also what the FUCK he spoke THAT MANY LANGUAGES... no wonder barty was smart eek. i like the idea of him telling sirius and sirius speaks seven (and is content) is just wondering if he can name that many... and then The Lessons start.

i also like the thought of bcsr gifting sirius the fisrt motorcycle magazines in his collection and yummm <333

do you mean barty crouch sr by bcsr??? because omg plz tell me what you think about sirius’s relationship w him, i find the crouches so interesting, i would love to hear about that

YESS i LOVE you !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont actually know how much of what i imagine for them can be fit into canon/is canon but like sglkfd.

so barty jr and sirius probably met during their childhood i think, bcjr was intelligent and well mannered and a respectable kid in sirius' age range, and ofc there's the hc that he was close friends w regulus, too. i hc he was pretty distant w bcjr himself but i just knoww sirius 'daddy issues' black needed everyone's parents' approval. orion was a negligent asshole sawr i think its a pretty valid course of action yk

and ofc bcsr loved him !! he was intelligent, he was quick, he was charming, well mannered, all the shit he wishes his bastard of a son was. and barty sr is a bit manipulative too yk he would definitely try to steal sirius away from his family and friends because he knows what sirius needs.

and like !! bcsr. he knows his son is death eater, he does use sirius as a replacement. he doesnt hide it, either, which he thinks justifies using a very obviously traumatized young boy to forget about the guilt in his heart about abusing, traumatizing and neglecting his own son. that being said, he gives sirius the watered down version of abuse his parents do - which sirius has grown comfortable enough with. that being said, the main reason sirius ran away isnt there: he's not a supporter of voldemort. he's actively fighting against him. (also hehe i hc walburga as bipolar so sirius is just happy he doesnt have a timebomb in the house 24/7) (or at least the timebomb doesnt explode around him !!). bcsr still mentions who sirius should associate himself with, still is disappointed when he doesnt get a good grade (an E instead of an O), he yells at sirius, maybe he raises a hand at him too - but at the end of the day sirius finds him justified because he's the one who took sirius under his wing, and is helping him, and is nice to him, and this is really what parents do to their children, right?

here is also when the post comes in btw: bcsr feels entitled to sirius' life, his idea of a parent/child relationship is ownership, and unfortunately that's sirius' view of it too, but bcsr is a lot calmer and quieter than walburga, he cares more than orion - to sirius its really the best of both worlds. bcsr wants sirius to go in politics which sirius does not want because he already has whatever career he's chosen for himself, and bcsr feels it necessary that sirius follow his - his own son wont.

bcsr does need sirius, he confides in him, he loves him (in his own fucked up way). sirius moves on, he runs away and gets farther and farther away from everything that reminds him of Before and feels resentment that bcsr (a man who he's considered his strongest father figure for years) doesn't even reach out to him once. bcsr feels that its a child's responsibility to reach out every time - he feels betrayed that sirius didn't runaway to him, that he didnt even know sirius had runaway till someone told him in passing. the letters they exchanged come to an abrupt end and it just feels like everything ended in the middle of it yk. barty crouch sr doesnt see sirius till sirius is arrested, soon after his own bio son is x

(also, yes sirius does still have the potters, but the potters are a completely different world to him. he's not used to that kind of completely unconditional love, he's not used to seeing how they shower their heir son in love. its a little bittersweet, it feels like a fantasy, sirius feels like he's intruding, he fills resentment to james for being raised with parents who love him and ofc he doesnt want that so he finds solace elsewhere. he thinks the potters are angels on earth, his relationship with bcsr is what the normal parent/child relationship. if walburga and orion are a 10 on the scale of what sirius considers to be 'bad parents', euphemia and fleamont are in the negative. bcsr falls somewhere in the middle, like a 2 or 3 to sirius. to bcjr, sirius can recognize, that bcsr is horrible. he yells, may hit, he's permanently disappointed when they do interact. they barely ever do - bcsr is always busy, he makes special time for sirius (which makes sirius giddy bc wowzers am i that important?) which cuts out even more time from bcsr and bcjr to interact. also, bcsr calls sirius son and he doesnt call bcjr son. sirius is lowk a homewrecker i love him.).

#sirius black #barty crouch jr #barty crouch sr #barty crouch sr x sirius black #sirius black x barty crouch sr #barty crouch sr and sirius black #sirius black and barty crouch sr #crouchcest #barty crouch jr x sirius black #sirius black x barty crouch jr #barty crouch jr and sirius black #sirius black and barty crouch jr

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luxurystark-jackson · 4 years ago

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Today on Elsa Rants, we have crappy villains: Voldemort

First of all, let’s start off by saying that Voldemort is definitely one of the most egotistic villains that I’ve seen. Absolute dumbass material. His main problem is that his fucking ego stops him from killing Harry as quickly as fucking possible. Honestly.

This is super obvious from the first book onwards. How easy would it be to just lure Harry into the forbidden forest and kill him? Voldy’s stupid ego wants a grand murder, and that’s his greatest flaw as well. Every single time, this dumbass tries to kill Harry spectacularly and fails. Every. Single. Time.

Voldemort’s true downfall wasn’t all that love bullshit that Harry and Dumbledore preach about.

It was his ridiculously huge ego.

The ego that, time after time, prevented him from murdering Harry as simply as possible.

This is something that’s evident throughout the series. For starters, in the first book, Voldy could’ve easily made Quirrell cast a simple Avada Kedavra in Harry’s direction and hope for the best. Even better, he could’ve just lured Harry into the Forbidden Forest to the Acromantula and let them eat him. We all know that Aragog would’ve happily let his family eat Harry, and it’s not like a dimwitted 11 yr old is going to be able to escape from that without some serious help (in CoS, Ron and Harry only escaped because of the Ford Anglia)

In book 2, Harry could’ve easily been killed by the fucking basilisk itself. Until Hermione left them a clue, Harry had no idea what the monster was. He could’ve easily been killed by accidentally looking at the basilisk in the mirror or even coming face to face with it while he was in the bathroom, for fucks sake. And then, at the very end, Voldy decided to preach about his plan, and the only reasons Harry didn’t escape were that Ginny was unconscious (he wasn’t strong enough to drag her along) and that Riddle had his wand. Even when the basilisk came out, Riddle didn’t help it kill Harry, only whispering commands. This is the person that framed his uncle for the murder of three muggles, and murdered several others as well, not thinking to just send an Avada Kedavra at this wandless 12 yr old, most likely because it wasn’t grand enough.

In book three, fair enough, there wasn’t much he could do, but at any given time, he could’ve gotten Wormtail to kill Harry in his sleep. Everyone would blame Sirius for it as well, so that kept a cover over anything Voldy did.

In Harry’s fourth year, he could’ve easily gotten Barty Jr to kill Harry more simply, but considering that there was the whole ‘rises again’ bullshit going on, perhaps not. Even then, Harry could’ve been killed at any time during the Tournament, so what would happen then? Voldy’s plans have serious flaws in them, and it makes them significantly worse. Harry could’ve easily been killed by the dragon, merpeople, acromantula, blast-ended skrewts, drowned, or been killed by imperioused Krum.

Furthermore, Harry’s barely scraped past everything the tournament had thrown at him. Fair enough. What if the chivalrous little shit decided to stay back and let Cedric take the cup on his own? Plan failed. Boom. After that, what if Harry had tried to block the Avada Kedavra and died? Double boom. Voldemort clearly hadn’t thought this through at all. Even then, after all that could possibly go wrong, he still doesn’t instantly kill Harry. No, instead he brags about this ‘win’ over Harry and disciplines his death eaters, going as far as to mention them by name, which is literally his ego predicting that Harry isn’t going to tell anyone this stuff even if he does escape (the dumbassery honestly).

Then, after all that, he challenges Harry to a duel. What does this senior citizen (so called dark lord) have to prove by beating some dumb teenager? Obviously, this fails (as if we didn’t see this coming) and Harry goes directly to the number one person that Voldy wouldn’t want him to go to. Dumbledore. Honestly, you’d think that the greatest dark wizard in the world would realise that his enemy would go straight to enemy number two, the wiser one, and report what happened.

Now we’re in fifth year. First things first, Voldemort could’ve easily taken the prophecy instead of sending his dumb servants to do it. If he is as great a dark wizard as he claims, he’s bound to have some sort of way to get into the Ministry and steal the prophecy undetected. Instead, the best plan Voldy could come up with is to manipulate Harry into getting the prophecy for him. This is literally just to show that he’s powerful (quite the opposite effect), when the smart move is to just take it himself. The greatest dark wizard of the century, which every wizard fears, can’t do something that four 15 yr olds and two 14 yr olds can do? Doesn’t sound very powerful to me.

Even then, Harry could’ve died before the end of that school year as well. He could’ve easily died of blood loss (I’m surprised that he didn’t, what with his hand being sliced open practically every evening) or from the pure pain of the Cruciatus (after all, if Hermione had failed to stop Umbitch from cursing him, it could’ve happened). Then, after that, he could’ve died by suicide (angst levels were high that year, I wouldn’t be surprised if he did).

After all of this crap, in book 6, Harry could’ve died from death eaters, poisoning, a cursed necklace, the Imperius curse going wrong, the Inferi in the lake, something from Snape’s textbook, or even just a stray curse.

Really, Voldy could’ve just poisoned Harry (like Malfoy tried to poison Dumbledore). Even the character who seems to have the biggest ego out of them all will resort to something as simple as poison. Voldemort’s ego is too fucking huge to get him to kill Harry without grandness.

Then, in book 7, how many times is Harry almost in danger? How many times is Harry unprotected? Why doesn’t Voldemort use his time, instead of looking for the elder wand, to kill Harry? Sure, we get that he literally cannot kill Harry with his own wand, but why doesn’t he just get Bellatrix or someone else to find and Stun Harry? At some point, they actually capture the trio. At this point, we do have to blame the death eaters as well, since they waited so fucking long to call Voldy up, when they could’ve done it from the start and dealt with him just like that.

Then, in the very last part of the book, the dumbass gives Harry a time frame to submit himself. No smart villain will give the protagonist a time frame, not if they wanted to kill the hero as badly as Voldy did. This is literally setting yourself up for defeat, since you’re giving the hero enough time to devise a strategy to beat you, or to find something to beat you with (as Harry ends up doing). Mr Egotistic Senior Citizen is trying way too hard to paint himself as powerful, when he could show this ‘power’ by actually killing the fucking hero in the time that he has.

Essentially, Voldemort is a dumbass, and a crappy villain whose ego is the main thinking part of his mind. How do I kill the hero as spectacularly as possible? Voldemort has shown himself continuously as the dumbest villain possible, and avoided using his actual brainpower for grandness. Essentially, he’s a crackpot old fool (see what I did there?)

Anyways, that’s it for today, and thank you for wasting your time to read my rant about how I hate Voldemort for being the most egotistical villain possible. Goodbye!

#harry potter #voldemort #Voldemort: a dumbass

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thepinkseat-askthemoonbunny · 8 years ago

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That’s right boys and girls, this sums up the character hate that one Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore of Harry Potter fame experiences in a nutshell.

And quite frankly, it’s sickening.

Albus Dumbledore is, in my opinion the most disrespected, maltreated, shat on and pissed on character in the entire fandom and history of Harry Potter, and I have plenty of evidence to back this claim up. On Tumblr and LiveJournal, it is the WORST I have ever had the misfortune of experiencing.

Now yes, every character gets love and gets hate. It’s all a matter of taste or personal opinion. It’s just a basic part of fandom life, of course everyone isn’t going to hate the character that you love. It’s natural. HOWEVER, when it comes to Dumbledore, nope. Dumbledore hate is UNNATURAL and terrifying to behold. It’s sad, and it’s sick, and it breaks my heart.

“But Bunny!” I hear you cry. “Everybody gets hate!”

Of course, everybody does get hate. Except Albus Dumbledore. Dumbledore isn’t hated my friends, the man is completely and utterly loathed. Loathed, as in beyond Voldemort loathed. If Dumbledore were simply hated, I could probably be cool with that. But he isn’t. There is not ONE. SINGLE. CHARACTER in this ENTIRE FANDOM that is treated the way that Dumbledore is treated. Even Voldemort doesn’t get shat on so much by everyone. Don’t believe me, look at the list of names they call him. Voldy doesn’t even get insulted to his degree.

. Rancid stain of camel piss

. The White Voldemort

. Dumb-as-a-door,

Pubic louse

Scumbledore

Scummywhore

Dummybore

Dumbassdore

Dumbledork, Dumbledoor, Headbastard, Goat Fucker, Goat buggerer,, Bumblewhore, the Spider, the goat, the Dark Lord Dumbledore, the Light Lord, Dumb-Old-Bore, Dumb-to-the-core, Bumblemore, Bumblebore, Dumblewhore, Dumbfuck, Dumblefuck, Doubledork, Dumbledoof (German for "Dumbledumb") or "M.O.B" (abbreviation for "manipulative old bastard").

The hate that Dumbledore gets surpasses anything that the vilest, nastiest, evilest and most reprehensible characters in the books ever received tenfold. The grudge that most of this fandom holds against Dumbledore is almost personal in nature, as if he fucking DID something to them personally! Now, there are canon reasons to dislike Dumbledore, you don’t have to make shit up just because you are so sadistic and hateful toward a man who exists in words on a page. But most characters who are worse than him are forgiven. They’re forgiven and they have a loyal following. However, Dumbledore is the one that this fandom cannot forgive whatsoever. In fact, they get pissed off that Harry forgives him! Harry, the one who should have all this beef with Dumbledore but doesn’t, he lets it go! But everyone else, can’t let it go. He can’t just be a human being, he has to be lower than Voldemort. He has to be less than a stain of piss on the floor. Nowhere ever have I ever seen the amount of hatred, death threats, revenge fics, torture, suffering, and all manner of evil and loathsome things wished upon or written on this man. Nobody else, not even Bellatrix Lestrange herself has ever been so reviled.

And that’s fucked up.

Why? Why does Dumbledore not allowed to have feelings?! He is LITERALLY not allowed to be redeemed or have feelings! When he tries to help people, he’s being manipulative. When he lets people make their own choices (aka, NOT being manipulative), he’s evil and sadistic. When he shows human emotion, he’s faking. When he tries to keep them in check, he’s cold and psychopathic. I mean he cannot win for losing! Dumbledore can’t even take a piss without somebody trying to accuse him of poisoning the water supply “for the greater good.”

That brings me to another point. The FUCKING Greater Good:

Fandom takes the Greater Good waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far! It’s only used in every single anti Dumbledore post on this damn hellsite, and for no reason! Dumbledore literally never uses this phrase in the books. Never. He wrote it one time in a hundred year old letter that’s mentioned once in the end book, but fandom once again lost their fucking minds. They are taking Grindelwald’s version of the Greater Good and applying it to Dumbledore. They shout that it’s only Dumbledore’s Greater Good, that the greater good is more power and fame or political clout for himself. When in reality, it’s obvious to anybody with a quarter of a functioning brain that the greater good is saving the world from a genocidal monster, you know the REAL Dark Lord? Remember him? Yeah, that’s what the greater good is. Not any of this bullshit that these rabid haters are pulling out of their ass. Speaking of pulling stuff out of their ass, Dumbledore is the ONLY character to get blamed for literally EVERYTHING.

“Voldemort is evil?! Fuck you Dumbledore!” “Umbridge is a teacher?! Damn you Dumbledore!” “Sirius /The Potters/random people are dead?! Dumbledore did it!” What’s next, did Dumbledore invent AIDS and cancer too? I bet he probably caused the war in Syria too because he was bored. Also he made Russia hack our election! It’s all Dumbledore’s fault! *FACEPALM*

It is so horrible to the point where every time I see a post accusing Dumbledore of something he obviously didn’t do, has no evidence from canon to back it up, hundreds of thousands of notes will reblog shouting hate and death on Dumbledore’s head and saying “this is why I have trust issues, this is why Dumbledick is an asshole” like this is canon fact. No matter how dubious, no matter how impossible, no matter how asinine, no matter how weird, no matter how ridiculous. If there is a post accusing Dumbledore of sinister motives, people will flock to it. Like, Dumbledore withholding information that you could be your own SK from the Potters so that they’d die. I know, it’s retarded and unprovable but people believe it. Now, nobody knows for sure why Dumbledore is the most loathed and despised character in HP, but he is. Like, beyond Ron levels of hate. If Dumbledore could save everyone’s lives on Earth today, people would sooner burn him at the stake rather than give him a chance.

“DUMBLEDORE’S VICTIMZ, OMG!” FUCK that! If anything, Dumbledore is the victim here. He is a victim of a special breed of hate that would tear him to pieces if they ever met him in real life, they would chop this man and feed his body to wild dogs and they have never met him. All this vitriol toward a fictional character who has done nothing to them. He can’t hurt you, he never has hurt you, he never will hurt you, it’s not that serious to make death threats to somebody who was never even alive to begin with. Not a fictional character in my twenty one years of living have I ever seen this level of just...such immense loathing to somebody who can never cause you harm. Like what did he do?! What did he do, did he come to life one night and murder your entire family?! Poor Dumbledore, and you wonder why JKR goes so hard for him? He NEEDS somebody to go hard for him, when you have people sympathizing with Wizard Hitler and claiming JKR was cruel to HIM or claiming he has a mental illness, but declaring Dumbledore some sort of monster. Nobody deserves this, people say that they hate James Potter because he’s one of those bullies that drive people to suicide? Well if Dumbledore were a real man, the bullying he receives (and fandom BULLIES him) would drive anybody to suicide. Dumbledore haters however don’t get called James Potters. Now, if somebody can be so hateful and loathing and despise a fictional creation so much, I really do fear for the flesh and blood people that these people dislike. It’s not that serious, it never has been. Dumbledore doesn’t deserve this, I can think of very few people who do deserve this.

#long ass post #meta #hp meta #rant #anti hate #dumbledore #albus dumbledore #dumbledore defense squad #poor dumbledore #harry potter #hp #harry potter meta

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