#Hard finding a good program when there’s no transparency

[cinnamostar]

three dates to fall in love

part one. part two. part three. part four. part five (here). part six (coming soon).

pairing : hyunjin x gn!reader

summary : after a two year long unspoken hatred, hyunjin and you are forced to be costars in a romantic series, but when it comes to filming any of the romance scenes, you both utterly fail and are unable to get through your lines. the director threatens to take your roles away if you two aren't able to get past this within the next week, which spawns the genius idea from both your managers: can you learn to (fake) fall in love in seven dates and save your careers?

wc : 2.5k

cw : actor!au, enemies to lovers ?!, slowburn , not proofread, nothing crazy :)

a/n : im back from my hiatus and omggg i graduated from my masters program wahoooo! here's part five. let me know what you think! theres not much going on here to be honest........ its pretty chill

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“Yo,” Changbin answers from the other end of the line, his heavy breaths echoing through the call.

“Are you still working out?” Hyunjin asks incredulously, pulling the phone back to check the time, “You said you were going to the gym two hours ago and you’re still there?”

“Gotta keep these bad boys in shape, ya know?” Changbin teases, a giggle ringing through as he is most, (and he is), checking himself out in the mirror, “What’s up though? Did you just get home?”

“At this point, you look more like a bodyguard than my manager.”

“I take that as a compliment! Thank you very much, but I believe you have something to discuss with me, hm?”

“I mean, it went well?” Hyunjin responds with uncertainty in his voice, causing Changbin to sigh from the other end of the line.

“Is that all..? Are you just going to call me every time to tell me only that?” Changbin asks with annoyance, unable to understand the actor’s unwillingness to share anything more about the arrangement he found himself in. “You know, I’ll just end up calling Chan and hearing it from him instead…”

“Huh?”

Changbin smirks to himself, knowing that would capture the younger’s attention, “Yeah, you know, Y/N has a lot to say. I know all about it. It’s the only way I know how things are going.”

“What do they say?”

“Why do you care?”

“I just do.”

“And I should tell you because…?”

Hyunjin frowns at the back-and-forth, feeling peeved Changbin, his manager, wasn’t divulging any information upfront, “Because I’m the one going on dates with them and I should probably know…?”

“I’ll tell you if you tell me how today went.”

“It went well, I already told you that.”

“Tough luck, buddy, that won’t do. How unfair, especially when Y/N has sooo much to say,” Changbin dramatically mocks a sob, “Yet you, oh, you have so little to offer. It’s like you’re not enjoying any of it.”

Hyunjin rolls his eyes at his antics, frustration bubbling within him, “I am enjoying it and it is going well. Is that good enough for you?”

“Nope.”

“Okay.”

“Okay… So, can I hang up now?”

“No.”

“So you want me to stay on the phone in silence with you?” Changbin asks, a smirk still plastered on his face because he knew, eventually, Hyunjin would relent to Changbin’s teasing. It was always like this, Hyunjin was hard to read and never shared much with Changbin, which honestly makes his job as his manager a lot more difficult than he’d like. The only times Hyunjin would be transparent with him about his emotions was when he was complaining about something, or the time he panickedly called him after his very unfortunate date with you, and how he realized what a big mistake he had made. Other than that, Hyunjin lips were always sealed tight. Either because he was a private person or was bad at vocalizing his feelings, Channgbin didn’t know, but he was getting annoyed at Hyunjin calling him after every day with the same three words every time. ‘It went well.’ God, those words were pissing him off and he felt like his time was being wasted because now, he had to call Chan and find out from him what was going on. After another few moments of silence, Changbin sighs once more, “Okay, I’m hanging up now —”

“N-no, wait!” Hyunjin interrupts him, a slight tremor in his voice.

“Okay, now I’m waiting.”

“Today went well, and I know I already said that, let me finish,” rambles Hyunjin, the words slowly clawing their wait up his throat, “It’s just… it’s a lot nicer than I thought it would have been. They’re super kind and welcoming to me even though I was a complete asshole to them.”

Changbin smiles victoriously to himself, ecstatic to finally hear this simple, yet salient confession out of the younger boy, “Oh, that’s good then. Sounds like they’re doing their best to make it work.”

“Yes, but I also… feel really bad about it too,” Hyunjin grimaces at the guilt he had been trying to ignore, it sneaking up to the forefront of his mouth as he speaks, “I really don’t think I deserve any of this from them, but they’re treating me sorta like nothing ever happened before and it’s a little weird to get use to this side of them. The more I realize how wrong I was about them, the shittier I feel.”

“Man, I don’t blame you, but I think you gotta give yourself some credit. It sounds like you both are handling this weird situation the best you can. Have you told them this?”

“Yeah, and that’s what makes this feel worse. They were so sweet about it, they comforted me when I was the one who hurt them,” groans Hyunjin, pinching the bridge of his nose as he squeezes his eyes shut, “And they… they said they need time to forgive me, which is fine! I get that entirely, but… I don’t think I’ll be able to forgive myself until they do?”

“Mhm, I understand what you’re feeling isn’t easy, but don’t you think you should at least try to be nicer to yourself? I mean… It sounds like Y/N cares about you enough, and if they want you to feel better about the situation, shouldn’t you try for their sake?”

“I guess, but it’s not that easy, Changbin –”

“I never said it was easy,” Changbin responds pointedly, “But wallowing up in guilt is no way to be living either, I’m sure Y/N knows that too and doesn’t want you beating yourself up this much about it when you’re both trying to move forward.”

“I don’t know…”

“Just give it a try, it won’t hurt. You can hold yourself accountable and still be nice to yourself. Alright, but I have to go now, so byeee!”

Hyunjin frowns, “Wait, no, you’re supposed to tell me–” only for him to be cut off by the sound of the call ending, “... what Y/N said…”

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Hyunjin decided to take both yours and Changbin’s advice to heart and do his very best to practice compassion, yet he forgot how terribly difficult that was until the next day arrived. In theory, it should be simple to just be nicer to himself, but his heart kept contorting and aching with guilt throughout the day, it becoming too much to bear as he tried to figure out how to control that emotion. He had to eventually learn to be in your presence without that harrowing, bottomless pit that would form in his stomach, especially if you two were going to be costars for the rest of filming.

So here he was, his face and ears tinged with red as he sat across you on a picnic blanket, an assortment of foods between you two, and a gentle breeze causing locks of your hair to dance. Despite the chilly weather, Hyunjin could feel himself being covered in what he can only describe as a cold sweat while his stomach flipped onto himself. He was nervous, anxious even, and he had zero clue on how to deal with what he called guilt, shame, humiliation. He wasn’t sure which word was the best descriptor for this very moment, but he could barely sit still, constantly fidgeting as he tried to turn his gaze away from you, hoping the blues of the lake would ease his nerves that had not stopped rapid firing since noon. 

“You okay?” You ask, lifting a sushi piece to your mouth as you eyed Hyunjin with a cocked up eyebrow.

He freezes up for a moment, before forcing a nervous smile with a nod, “Oh, yeah, I’m fine!” He tries to force his voice into a more cheery tone, but he can tell you could see right through him. Somehow, you could read the faintest microexpressions from him, but he’s thankful to see you shrug your shoulders and not press on any further. It was almost as if you had the ability to read his mind, knowing when it was right to question his behavior or just let him revel in his own thoughts.

“Well, you should eat some more! I need some help finishing all this food Changbin ordered for us,” you laugh, picking up a piece of sushi between your chopsticks and lifting it towards him, “Here, open up!” you say in a teasing tone.

He rolls his eyes, “You know, I can feed myself,” but he felt his stomach bubble up with inexorable nerves, his words almost getting caught in his throat. You playfully pout at his words, “Oh, c’mon, just eat it! I know you want to.” You wiggle the sushi in front of his face in some poor attempt to entice him, but it was only causing him to become uncomfortably warm as he did his best to look anywhere that wasn’t your face. “Fine, fine,” he responds, trying to sound as nonchalant as possible as he opens his mouth as you plop the sushi into it, the beating of his heart thumping loudly in his ears. 

“Good, right?” You smile.

He nods his head, his eyes crinkling at the overwhelming flavor as hums in agreement, “Wow, yeah, which one was that?” 

“Mmm, I think that one is toro salmon? I’m not sure,” you giggle at his reaction, feeling pleased with yourself that you managed to whittle away at the awkwardness he wore around you. Hyunjin was constantly on edge around you, the nerves obvious in the frown lines of his forehead, and while you could understand why, you were hoping he would start to loosen up around you as time went on. Despite everything that has occurred over the past two years, you were starting to yearn for the friendship you and Hyunjin once had and wished to be able to return to that comforting time. 

However, it was never that simple, as your desire for his friendship was often overshadowed with memories of his cruel words, how easily he spat them out to you without a moment of hesitation. A moment of innocent banter could just take you back to that time because somehow, his banter and cruelty shared a similar inflection, just enough to cause your eyes to prick with tears if you noticed it. The lasting impact his words had on you was a stark reminder for you to not so easily forgive him, to not forget what he was once capable of. But no matter how hard you tried to look past it and solely focus on your friendship with him, there was this inexplicable rift between you two, a hurdle neither you could just quite jump over, though perhaps it was this mutual understanding that allowed you both to understand each others’ quietness. It was strange, you two had become strangers that understood the language your souls’ whispered, but neither retained that fluency and were struggling to recall the words you once spoke.

The silence returns, enveloping you both as the wind hushedly howls, the sounds of birds chirping filling in the empty pages of dialogue as you each continue to eat. Every now and then someone would comment on the food, how good it tasted and thanking God for letting Changbin set up such a delicious day, finishing the last bits of sashimi that was left on the plate.

“Oh jeez, I’m so full,” you mutter, sleepiness slowly creeping its way into your body, “Ah, but we gotta take pictures, I don’t wanna deal with a whiny Changbin.”

Hyunjin snorts, knowing all too well the fit his manager would throw if his date plans were not followed through, especially when he made it clear to the both of you that he wanted proof that you two actually did take those pictures. All he wanted was for each of you to take photos of the other, a mini photoshoot by the lake, while also insisting it would be a great post for either of your instagrams. “Yeah, let's not do that to ourselves.” He lifts himself up from the floor, anxiously offering a hand to help you up, quickly retracting after you stood while ignoring the electric nerves bouncing at the palm of his hands. 

“I’ll take your pictures first, okay?” You say, your phone already in hand as you gesture to him to stand in front of the lake, “Luckily, the sun is out, so maybe we will get some nice photos to post,” you add on. Meanwhile, Hyunjin, very stiffly, stood ahead of you, unsure what to do with his body and how to pose. Normally, he is good at this kind of stuff, he has done plenty of photoshoots in the past, but he was terrified at the thought of embarrassing himself in front of you. Before, he had never once had this concern, this worry, he didn’t know why these thoughts kept forming each time he thought of you. It clouded his mind, preventing him from seeing any logic or reason. “Alright, model boy, do your thing, I know you know how to work the camera,” you call out, snapping Hyunjin out of his trance. 

If he wasn’t sweating before, he most definitely was now as he body overheated under the sudden pressure he put onto himself as he robotically posed, and you, as always, couldn’t help but notice the lack of elegance he usually carried himself with. “Oh, c’mon, what’s up with you today?” 

“I… I don’t know, I’m just nervous… I think?”

“Well, I can see that,” you sigh, placing a hand on your hip, “But, you got no reason to be! It’s just me!”

“I think it being you is the issue,” he murmurs out, not really meaning for the words to slip out his mouth.

You press your lips into a straight line, “Right, I get that. Sooo, how about you pretend it’s not me taking the pictures, but Changbin?”

Hyunjin breathes out a sarcastic laugh, “Oh, yea, that will totally work, you make a very convincing Changbin.”

“Oh, right, let me just-” you roll up the sleeves of your shirt, exposing your biceps as you make a poor attempt to flex them, “How about now, is this working?”

Hyunjin found himself laughing loudly at your very sudden and unexpected antics, his stomach flipping onto itself as a flurry of affection rushed over him. You looked absolutely ridiculous, yet something about it was incredibly endearing despite the goofiness that radiated off of you. However, the sound of the camera shuttering from your phone quickly made him pause his laughter. “Hm, I think you look pretty cute in this,” you smile, turning the screen towards him to see you had captured a photo of him in the midst of his giddiness. He felt his cheek flush at your words, the shyness that had temporarily disappeared made its presence known. “I guess it’s not bad, just… a little different from what I usually post online.”

“Good different, right?” You ask, a smile still gracing features as the sun kisses your features, the wind gently brushing through your hair. 

“Definitely a good different.”

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taglist (closed): @kopikokrunch @icouldntcareless22 @kidrauhlschik @hhwangsmoon @lestayzone @cupidcures @sleepyxxhead @pinkpunkdynamite @kaiyaba @palindrome969 @aokiss @annybah @tigerroarsinthelight @bubbly-moon @nattisbored @jin-from-the-block @hyuneyeon

[anglingforlevels]

Nature's Losers (Yandere Anglerfish x Reader)

CW: body horror, violence, non-graphic death depiction, reader is kinda useless in this, swearing. stalking and general creepiness, monsterfuckery, bad writing, dead dove.

Minors DNI

In nature, there’s winners and losers. Although enthusiastic biology professors throughout your school years had argued that, by virtue of surviving and continuing to survive and reproduce, there weren’t any losers among the living.

Late-night nature programs made it hard to agree, when they featured hapless creatures like the male anglerfish, doomed to fumble through the darkness through smell to find an elusive mate with the only end goal of holding onto the mate they found, ultimately, dying a parasite. Nature certainly picks losers, or so you had thought back then.

You hadn’t spared much thought for the female anglerfish in your assessment, it just seemed obvious that the loser in the equation was the male.

That day too, the day you met it.

It was a simple day by the oceanside, you were trying to enjoy a warm summer day through an increasingly harsh breeze, emphasize on trying, as the breeze seemed determined to outgrow its label of breeze to become a gust of wind, an achievement of personal growth that you were not in support of.

That’s when you spotted him. By the rocky hillside, where the rowdy waves crashed against rocks out amidst the water, before growing still and reaching its end by the hillside, but not without having splashed said hillside wet in the process. A small figure laid, collapsed, among the rocky land.

“Is that a child?!”

Panicked, you rushed out there, navigating between slippery rocks and wet sand. Your outfit clinging to your legs, which you ignored in your pursuit to reach the collapsed child. Getting closer, it didn’t seem to be a child at all.

Though, he was small. He seemed barely big enough to go to your armpit, even as his figure was fully splayed out. But he didn’t seem particularly young, or even youthful. He didn’t seem old or mature either. He just seemed odd. He felt undefined, like something that hadn’t been developed or fully rendered, with colors washed out.

Stepping closer, your heart rate spiked as you noticed the way his skin seemed too pale and paper-thin, he almost felt transparent, so much so that it felt as if a lazy sunbeam would reveal shadows of bones encased in flesh. Christ, had you found a corpse? He didn’t look bloated like a drowned corpse ordinarily would, quite the opposite but still, was this really a living person?

With his brittle and scrawny figure laid out, bruised and still upon the rocks, it really felt as if you were watching a shattered doll carefully positioned. You swallowed.

“Hey, uh, are you- are you okay?”

At this, he opened up his eyes, revealing one key characteristic of note. Big, milky-white, and slightly bulging eyes. You startled a little at the sudden intensity as he fixed you with a relentless stare, for how lifeless the rest of him had seemed, it appeared as if all life in him had been dedicated to those eyes, and yet their dedicated stare felt purposeless, as if it he saw nothing.

You quickly snapped out of it, instead shifting to relief at the fact he wasn’t dead.

“Hey, what happened?” You asked, but he simply continued staring at you, not even shifting his head, instead following your movements with his eyes exclusively. You cleared your throat before trying again with a gentler tone. “Hey, it’s okay. Can you tell me who are you?”

He repeatedly opened and closed his mouth slightly, and while you weren’t sure what that really meant – and you were increasingly unsettled by the lack of blinking – you decided to brush the growing discomfort aside. Really, given his situation, acting a little unsettling didn’t seem too unreasonable, the guy was probably in shock, so you took the fact he reacted at all, as a good sign.

You laid a hand on his shoulder, hoping it might offer some comfort, but almost retracted it per reflex at his cold, clammy skin.

“Goodness, you’re freezing.” You were about to take off your cardigan for some kind of cover, when you realized that your clothes was, of course, soaking wet and clinging to you, from the climb here. So, instead you held him, hoping your body warmth could provide anything, as you frantically fumbled with your phone to call for an ambulance. Honestly, with a temperature like this, you were surprised he wasn’t a corpse yet.

He burrowed further into your embrace, his head resting in the crook of your neck, as if desperate to get closer than what the laws of physics allowed. His breathing grew heavier, and his teeth accidentally scratched you in what you assumed was clumsily expressed distress, you couldn’t tell if the drips you felt was tears or simply ocean water. You tried to soothe him by rubbing his back as your call got through.

Sitting like this, more than anything, you had felt that nature really did pick losers, a pitiful truth.

You weren’t sure how long it took before the ambulance arrived, but the chill of his body felt as if it had seeped through you, zapping out most of your own warmth, and you were now shivering yourself as well. You were planning on going home for a warmth bath and then going to bed, since you had work in the morning, and your boss weren’t exactly lenient, so even with your spare time being spent like this, you hoped to at least be well-rested physically.

But when they tried to usher him off you to cover him in a blanket, he clung desperately onto you, nails digging into your skin. Your heart ached for him, it really did, you were sure he were feeling disorientated and scared, but it was best to leave this kind of thing in the hands of professionals, and, while you felt like a jerk for it, you still had to think about yourself and your depressingly early shift tomorrow morning, a shift you’d only survive through with the company of your friend and coworker Julia, and the upcoming weekend off.

Prying him off you was easy. Even his desperate, fumbling grasp around you didn’t amount to being much more than feathery, with even gentle prying leaving him stumbling a bit from the force. It was hard to tell if it was due to his sickly state or just general, physical weakness.

You did really hope the best for him.

“Hm?”

On your way home, as you separated from the crowd after a good ten minutes of walking, you took notice of steps behind you that echoed out with a loud, inelegant thud, thud, thud. You turned around and furrowed your brows in perplexation. The sickly complexion and the stare was undeniable – it was him.

Walking with clumsy steps, he moved forward with the blank, staring expression he had donned when you first found him as well, a poorly wrapped blanket still around him but gliding off as he continued to move forth slowly but resolutely, paying it no mind.

“Did you… Follow me?”

All the way from the oceanside? Your hands felt clammy at the thought of him following you between the crowds and many corners – it couldn’t be an accident, and in the first place, he was supposed to have been in a hospital by now, or at the very least, still inside the ambulance.

He didn’t answer, though you hadn’t expected him to, he just kept moving closer and closer. Perhaps it was his empty stare and clumsy movements, but it felt as if he moved with one singular purpose, not as in he was driven, but rather, he lacked any other intentions behind his movement than his goal.

Something deep within you seemed to come undone at that, an unsettling feeling grasping hold of you. You didn’t think he was able of hurting you, really, you were surprised he could even stand, yet goosebumps littered your skin, there was just something wrong about him.

He can’t do anything to you, it’s okay. It’s fine. You reminded yourself through a shaky breath. That’s right, you bested him physically, so, you ran. With the speed he was at right now, you could surely manage to lose him, and then that would be that.

You’d avoid this area for a while, it wasn’t like you came here a lot anyway, and that would be the last of this. It felt more like you were pleading with yourself rather than stating a fact, and you hated that sense of irrationality, after all, that was all it was.

This was creepy but not dangerous, you were sure, you had to be sure. So, you ran. You ran and didn’t stop. Not until your lungs and sides burned, and you stood before your apartment complex. Looking around, he was nowhere to be seen. Even after entering the building, which only residents could enter, and your dingy apartment, you didn’t see him from your small window.

The warm bath helped calm your nerves a bit and you went to bed, to face a new day, one devoid of him.

 

“Okay, so you think he went Wolverine on the door. Wasn’t he like, super weak?” Julia asked, as she unloaded the cargo of the day, prompting a sigh from you.

This morning, when you had woken up and left for the bus, you had noticed scratches on the door to the building, and had had a sinking feeling, but you hadn’t seen anything of him or any other sign of him. you had confided in Julia about the experience, though Julia seemed skeptical about whether the scratches even made up a sign about him having managed to find your apartment to begin with.

“I don’t know, I know it sounds stupid, but seriously, he just kept following me.” You reiterated this for what must have been the thousandth time, and judging by Julia’s expression, that estimate couldn’t be far off.

“Have you considered calling the police about stalking?”

“Well, it’s not like he’s done anything, or that I know he’s stalking me. It’s not like I saw him by my apartment to begin with.”

And stalking didn’t feel like the right word. It felt more like you were being pursued. Less thought-out and hidden, instead he seemed to be following the most direct path he could perceive towards you in the most literal way possible, and while it should feel less threatening and invasive, the simplicity and literalness of his behavior didn’t do much in the way of comfort.

Most of all, you didn’t feel like it warranted a call to the police, especially with a pursuer this ineffective at pursuit. Not when you had heard stories of others reporting stalking, cases much worse and more explicit, yet getting dismissed, you were sure your case would get you laughed out of the station.

And then, a bump took them out of the conversation, and your heart dropped. At the door, he stood. Fumbling around, lightly bumping into the door in attempts to open it or bypass it. “No fucking way.”

Julia glanced at the small, scrappy guy clumsily failing to open a door, with a raised eyebrow. “And this is the guy that’s got you all worried? I mean, freaked out I get, but…”

But I doubt he could do much, even if he tried.

You looked away, frowning. Julia took notice and sighed, putting a gentle hand on your shoulder. “Hey, I’m sorry, are you okay?”

It felt unfair, but somehow you almost felt worse from her words. Julia had always lived by the idea that, even if something wasn’t necessarily real, it still felt real to the person who was upset. But you knew that this was real, this pit in your stomach, it wasn’t for nothing, it wasn’t just nerves, you just couldn’t… explain it.

Julia understood it was terrifying to see someone possibly following you, and even though the store was public, she understood it being scary to see him here all of a sudden, without knowing if it was a coincident or on purpose, but for you, it was more than that, but you couldn’t put it into words. You didn’t understand it. The frustrating acid of “it’s real for you” poisoned Julia’s good intentions, but you swallowed the bitterness, and smiled a forced smile.

“Don’t worry about it, it’s… it’s fine.”

Julia shook her head. “It’s not. You don’t feel safe, and that’s not okay. Listen, we’ll be going on our weekend camping trip tomorrow, and there’s no way that the guy who can’t figure out doors, can find you out there, so… Stay at my place tonight, then we’ll go camping, and we’ll figure this out, alright?”

She squeezed your shoulder reassuringly, and you felt a pang of guilt. God, you were such an asshole. You nodded, but your eyes were still fixed on him, luckily no one had gone through the door, thus giving him access, because you needed this job, you couldn’t afford any more late rent and your boss was an asshole, so bailing wasn’t an option but if he got into the store, you’d… Fuck, you wished you could barricade the doors.

Then suddenly he stopped his fruitless attempts, maybe even he had a limit wherein he recognized something to be futile. His vacant eyes shot up and stared directly at you. And he simply stood like that, absentmindedly clenching his jaw as if chewing. Your heart pounded against your chest, it felt almost painful as if you felt an actual recoil from its force, but you couldn’t focus on that when the world seemed to blur together around you, leaving only his eyes, pooling in all light despite their own pale shine.

Julia glanced at you, worry barely hidden on her face, before clapping her hands resolutely. “That’s it – By now, even our boss will accept us having called the cops on this guy for being a public nuisance. Or, if nothing else, he’ll agree that the guy is definitely scaring customers away, what with the blocking of the door and general creepiness.” Julia said, though you suspected she’d be scolded for it regardless, and you knew that she knew that too.

He had begun to lean against the door. Man, you couldn’t wait for camping trip…

 

Even when time seems to stand still, eventually it caves in, making way for the approaching future, settling into the current present, which was, unfortunately, you sweating profusely as you fought to set up a tent, but even the frustrating battle of tents could not deter your relief and joy at finally having arrived at the weekend, and more importantly, the camping trip.

“I don’t think it’s supposed to bend that way.” Julia commented. You rolled your eyes at it.

“A lot of words coming from the person not helping me set it up.”

“Hey, you oh so cruelly banished me from helping, remember?”

“You’re just not that good at it.”

“Right, because this is the pinnacle of putting up tents. I salute your hard work.”

Julia’s unhelpful commentary aside, you were almost done, you just needed to focus. As if that was a cue, your focus was shattered by something rushing through a bush, and instinctively let go of the tent, as you tensed up.

And then a rabbit jumped out, making its escape from the loud sound of tent gear clattering. The world felt woozy for a moment as you collected yourself, breathlessly laughing. The tension still lingered in the air, but Julia made quick work of it.

“I gotta say, I think I’m a little better at putting up tents than that.” She said, gesturing to the pile of now fully undone work. The tension dissolved and the nervous laughter turned sincere. Julia was, benevolently, allowed to assist with setting up the tent – to her great dismay – and you laughed and talked together as you set up camp.

After a job well-done, you both felt a meal was in order, so Julia found the ingredients as you collected firewood while the sun was still out. With your arms full of twigs, your attention suddenly snapped to a bush, at the sound of the leaves being rustled quite harshly. No doubt by a particularly ungraceful critter, hopefully one as cute as the rabbit.

You were about to laugh and comment on how they must be a magnet for forest animals when a small but very humanoid figure stepped forth instead.

Your blood seemed to freeze.

It wasn’t like it was impossible to follow them. With the smarts and know-how, one could find out where they were camping. And then, it was just as simple as taking an uber. Or you could simply trail Julia’s car here.

Except, the torn clothes. The scarred and bruised skin. The ruffled, dirtied look. He had not gotten here by car.   

“Fucking hell.” Julia’s whispered words said it all, fucking hell was right.

You stood frozen. Unable to tear yourself from his stare. He opened his mouth-

“Let’s go!”

It was first when Julia’s frenzied voice called out, and pulled your arm, that you began to move. Absentmindedly, you took notice of his bloody, jagged nails. It took a moment before the adrenaline kicked in, and you stopped being dragged rather than running yourself.

The car, they just had to get to the car and leave. Recoup, figure something out, cool their heads, just, they needed to get away. You practically flung the door open when the two of you reached the old car. Neither of you bothered with seatbelt before starting the car.

But all it did was cough sadly.

“Huh? It can’t have run out of gas.” Julia looked bewildered, trying to start it again, only for it not to turn on at all. “Oh – Oh. You have got to be kidding me”

“Care to clue me in?” Your voice cracked slightly, and Julia glanced at you, before composing herself, and trying to smile reassuringly, though her smile wavered.

“Well, it’s just, the battery. It’s dead. But” she hurriedly added, seeing the way your face fell at her words, “I have an extra one. Since we were going on a trip away from any kind of mechanic.”

“Right… But we didn’t park that far from the camp.” He’ll reach us before.

Julia nodded seriously. “That’s why, we’ll run. We’ll circle around, since he’s following you, if we get him far enough away, we can probably give ourselves enough time. We’ll run straightforward till we reach the cliffs, and then back.”

You didn’t like that idea very much, willingly letting yourself be chased and running around in the forest when dusk was approaching, neither felt appealing. But they didn’t have a lot of options.

“Since I’m the one he’s following, why don’t I do that while you change the battery?”

“And leave you to run around alone with a freak after you? No way. ‘sides, I wouldn’t freeze up in a fight.” Julia said, her smile no longer wavering. You weren’t sure if there was enough words to fully show your appreciation for Julia, warmth pooling in your stomach, despite everything, it felt a little more okay with Julia by your side.

So, the two of you got out of the car, and waited anxiously for the sound of him approaching. Neither of you had talked about how he had gotten here, or known where to find you, perhaps none of you wanted to breach the topic.

Finally, you heard footsteps. And you sprinted. Then after a while, you’d wait for him to get closer. Then sprint again. On repeat. The darkness was rapidly increasing, forcing you to lower your speed, lest you injure yourself, and with the night animals awakening, it was both harder to hear and see him approaching.

“Just a little more, alright?” Julia said, between heavy breaths. The small sound of bells from her necklace and the way she held your hand, was a comforting reminder of her presence, amidst the darkness of the forest, each dancing shadow and crunching leaf reminding you that, hidden somewhere, was he. “Waves, listen, thank god, waves.”

Just as Julia had said, when you strained your ears, you heard the waves crashing into the cliffside. On burning, wobbly legs, you reached your destination, the trees giving way for the cliff edge.

“We probably don’t need to wait for him to be within hearable range, this time. Let’s just make our way ba-“

Crack.

Out he stepped. Only meters away. He lifted his hand up, as if reaching out to you already. You needed to move but only your beating heart seemed to get the memo. Then Julia flashed by, lunging at him.

Watching them both fall to the ground; it was a reminder. No matter how creepy he was, no matter how relentless – he was basically a stack of cards waiting to be knocked down by the wind. But you couldn’t help but feel like there were something more to it, a danger lurking within him.

Even as he was wrestled to the ground, his eyes stayed on you.

“Ouch!” Julia yelped, accidentally letting go of him, clutching her hand. “He bit me. it’s- it’s fine.”

You had seen the red liquid running between her fingers, even though she tried to hide it. It wasn’t fine. He, in the moment of being released, got up and returned to his goal of reaching you. Julia grabbed onto his ankle, forcing him down once more. You noticed that she used only one hand, the other curled up against her chest still.

He kicked his legs while continuing to attempt to crawl closer, somehow not paying attention to Julia beyond “hindered movements”, he seemed to just keep going despite his severe weakness. His kicks were weak but even so, a kick to the face was still unpleasant, enough so that he managed to squirm out of her hold to stand up.

But the sight of Julia’s pained expression, her hand bleeding profusely – you felt angry. Far angrier than the fear that gnawed at your core. Your hand searched for something, landing on a branch, and you jumped forth, hitting him.

You hadn’t expected him to be this frail and light, that it would practically send him flying, edging closer to the edge of the cliff. He stumbled around, the stones beneath his feet too loose for him to regain balance. He grasped blindly out for something to support him, as his body threatened to take a plunge down the cliffside.

His hand reached Julia’s necklace, as she was still laid on the ground. Before she could swat his hands away or do anything – a force stronger than either of us overpowered them, gravity pulling them downwards.

Your heart sank but even moving as fast as you could, you couldn’t reach Julia in time, her strangled scream cut off by the pull of her necklace must have been cutting off her airway before the unruly water ever got a chance.

“Julia!”

It was a long fall, directly into deep water, with jagged cliffs, even so, Julia had to… she had to be… She’d be alright. She just had to be. Frantically, ignoring the growing darkness and your own exhaustion, you ran. You had to get down there, to search for Julia.

You ignored the way your legs and lungs burnt, the way you only managed shallow breaths – you needed to find Julia, to see that she was okay. You don’t know how long it took until you got down to the bottom of the cliffside, but only the bright moon served as any light by now.

Your heart sank further as you stood at the edge of the water. How were you supposed to get over there, it was so far away, it would take you an hour to swim over there when well-rested – more importantly, how was Julia supposed to ever make it back here? With an injured hand to boot.

You ran out anyway, water going up to your ribs, as you desperately called out her name. It was futile, perhaps, but you just couldn’t accept it. If you called and looked, maybe you’d find her, maybe she had managed to get closer. Even though it was an impossible hope, you continued to search.

Each stray touch of seaweed wrapping around your legs made both dread and hope to shoot up in you, only for the same hope to crash into despair once more, that it wasn’t Julia, it wasn’t her. You spent so long out there in the darkness before you finally dragged yourself back to land, and only because the already unruly water had gotten worse, threatening to pull you down, and you knew, if it knocked you down, you wouldn’t be able to get back up, not as you were now.

You sat down on the sand, with legs numb from exhaustion and the cold, and just stared into the water. If you hadn’t used that branch, then Julia would… Julia would still… Exhaustion and grief made both your mind and body feel so incredibly heavy.

Then you heard it. Something else walking out of the water, and the small metallic clang of bells. Your head shot up. “Julia?” you voice couldn’t manage more than hoarse whisper at this point. But out of the water wasn’t Julia, of course, how could it be. It would be impossible to survive falling into such deep water, even if you hadn’t hit any of the sharp edges of the cliff.

That’s why, stone-cold dread turned into lead in your stomach at the sight. From the water emerged a small, soaked figure. It was him, no, it, because no human could have survived this long underwater. It was walking with the same expression as always, eyes finding and locking onto you, and it walked, with the same stumbling ease as always. And around his fingers and hand, Julia’s necklace was entangled, the bells clinging.

Whatever this was, it wasn’t human. Whatever this was, it had dragged Julia down with it.

You had to run, even though the world was spinning from dizziness and exhaustion, you had to run. Even standing up again was a struggle. On numb legs you clumsily ran. Even putting your all into it, you and it was evenly matched in speed now.

It got closer. Each step is accompanied by wet drips and clinging bells.

Drip, drip, cling, cling.

You couldn’t see the ground before you. You had run into the forest, you needed to get to the car or civilization, or anything. The trees kept out most of the moons light.

Drip, drip, cling, cling.

Branches and bushes caught onto hair and clothes. Leaving stinging nicks on your skin. No matter, continue, run, run, run.

Drip, drip, cling, cling.

What way was the car? How had you gotten down here to begin with? Not this way, that’s for sure. Just continue forward, no time to think.

Drip, drip, cling, cling.

You felt a pull, your foot getting caught by a root. Falling to the ground, dirt and stones stuck to you. You needed to untangle yourself.

Drip, drip, cling, cling.

Oh god, you needed to get free and get back up. You couldn’t see the root, so fumbling blindly in the dark, you tried to pull, pull, pull.

Drip, drip, cling, cling.

Cold, clammy hands touched you. Slowly look up from the root, it had crouched down before you. It’s eyes were the only source of light in the darkness of the forest, and you were almost mesmerized. Despite you being the only one out of breath, your jagged breaths were matched by it.

It leaned closer and you realized, the deep breaths – it was sniffing you.

It curled up against your stomach, as if settling to sleep. Was this the goal? It had gotten to you, was this it? Lie together like your first meeting? And then, searing pain shot through the exhaustion. It bit you, teeth tearing through flesh and holding on.

You felt light-headed and nauseous from the pain, or maybe the exhaustion? You couldn’t tell, growing disorientated, unable to focus on anything but the pain, so as the corners of your eyes darkened, you gave in to the numb darkness. As you fell unconscious, you thought you heard bells once more.

 

Your head hurts… That was the first sensation you noticed when you awoke.

It felt as if it was being split in two, a searing fire burning away any sense of emergence and thought, leaving you in hazy pain. Then again, your entire body felt heavy and warm in a drowsy and exhausting type of misery.

It took a moment to connect the sudden pain with anything, blinking yourself back into consciousness. You had been in cold water, maybe it was the flu? But it felt different, your head felt full but more than that, your body was too. There was a foreign sense of fullness, amid the dull, throbbing aches throughout her body, like something burrowing in between the fiery heat.

It was like a steady flow throughout your body, of something cold amidst the warmth. It felt wrong. That’s when you had half a mind to notice the most soaring pain of all was perhaps related to the weight of a very real thing, a very real presence.

On top of you, he… no, it laid, resting its head on your stomach, where it had bit you. God, it had bitten you, maybe it was an infection, no, that didn’t matter, not now.

Off, off, needed it off you.

Though the world spun around you, as dizziness clouded your mind from the simple act of lifting your arm, you managed to place your hands, your awfully clammy hands, on it, and push.

It didn’t budge, rather, the action seemed to hurt you. Like something attempting to tear your flesh off, oh god, was it still biting you? Was that why the pain felt so searing still? As your attempts to push it grew more frantic, it remained unmoved by it.

“Why, why, why the fuck won’t you- god,” tears prickled at the corner of your eyes, and the sensation seemed to bring you further into reality, the pain growing more and more real, and while you somehow had not been crying before, tears turned into full-out sobs and screams.

“You’re so weak, just, god why, why can’t I- off, off, off! I need you to-“ get off me. It had been so weak before, easily pushed and shoved. Then why, why couldn’t you make it budge now, each attempt hurting you further, at some point, you were convinced you heard the sound of flesh tearing, but you weren’t in your right mind to stop hopelessly trying through brute force.

As the pain became too much, the fight ebbed out of you, replaced by exhausted agony, moving already felt so hard, when you felt icy fire alongside the burning inside, and your skin felt… tight, as if it was housing more than it could, something prodding and poking uncomfortably at your own skin.

Had it not been because you could so clearly see the creature, you’d have frantically checked your clothes, at the feeling of intrusion, even if said intrusion seemed to be everywhere within you, all at the same time. As your fighting died out, replaced by breathless sobs, it lifted its head ever so slightly, its milky eyes finding yours, somehow, they didn’t look quite as empty now. You could have sworn the look in its eyes was joyful.

You broke eye contact because (it’s unbearable), because… Right, biting, was he still biting you? You stared blankly for a moment when you finally looked further down. You blinked. Once, twice, thrice. No, no, no, no. You hadn’t woken up yet. That’s it, this wasn’t real. Oh god, no, no, no. You blinked again, four times, five times, six times.

But the sight before you remained the same.

His lower face seemed as if melted, seeping into your skin. You couldn’t tell where his skin ended and yours began, as his face stretched out awkwardly, like melted wax, only the top retaining a semblance to his earlier appearance, though the skin around his eyes felt awfully loose, as if dragged down by the weight of… You? This?

Its nails dug into your skin, drawing blood, as its arms encircled you, and it nuzzled closer as if this proximity still wasn’t enough; more skin breaking loose and absolving before your eyes, as if watching a melting clay figure, the skin burning as it melted into yours.

Nature really did pick losers.

[avaantares]

I've seen people talking about feeling overwhelmed by all the pleas for Gaza help -- the unsolicited money requests, the thousands of fundraisers, the sometimes-confusing instructions for purchasing things on behalf of an organization, etc. And sometimes it's hard to figure out HOW to give, when you're clicking back through a daisy-chain of tags and profiles on Instagram, looking for the actual donation link associated with a video. It can be difficult and time-consuming to choose where to put your efforts and funds.

I found myself stressing about choosing which projects to support, vetting charities, and spreading out my donations to make sure they reached a variety of people, and I thought others might be, too. So here are some helpful links to simplify your decision-making!

If you want to donate money:

Many families have started GoFundMe campaigns to help them raise the money for evacuation or medical care, but with so many needing aid, choosing whom to help can be daunting. Each time you visit Gaza Funds, the site will display one randomly-selected campaign from its list of vetted campaigns. The random rotation means every campaign gets a chance to be seen, not just the ones featured by an Insta influencer or TikTok algorithm.

If you're concerned about scams and want to know which charities are going to use your money most efficiently, here are two lists of CharityWatch's top-rated aid organizations in the region (the first is Gaza relief-specific; the second is regional). The link for each organization gives financial transparency details such as how much money goes to relief programs, how much to administration, and the salaries of their CEOs. Read descriptions to know where they are operating and what kind of work they do.

If you want to help without money:

The "Click To Help" buttons (there are six categories; click 'em all!) at Arab.org channel funds into relief organizations such as the UNRWA (United Nations Relief and Works Agency) and other local groups. The donation amount is small, but if you don't have money to give directly, clicking these buttons every day adds up. You can click once per day per device browser, so that means you can click from both your mobile phone and your computer, and from multiple browsers on each device.

[lemuriz]

Stamp templates and how to use them on ezgif/ibispaint (pt 1)

Hello! I have a pretty good understanding of how to use stamps now, so I wanted to give a little guide on how to make them.

So first, I'll be starting with the classic stamp template I use. First- find an image you want to use. then get a stamp template. I'll be using this one.

you want to make sure that the image you are using is rectangular or a big enough square that you can fit it inside a rectangular box, of which the total outside will usually be 99x56. which is the classic stamp template canvas. not all stamps are this exact size though.

if you are making a STATIC image in ibispaint or another art program, simply trim the image with an eraser tool until it fits inside the box and is not showing over the stamp. you can turn down the opacity and then put on the stamp over it to better see where the stamp is so you don't accidentally overtrim it, if you'd like.

then, what I like to do is take a color palette or funky image and clip it onto the stamp template so that it looks colorful. you can also just use the filter tool.

Then, for future stamps, simply clip over the new image you want to use onto the first image you made and voila it's the right size and you don't have to do this process ever again.

How to make animated stamps: under the cut.

So you wanna make animated stamps? well, it's a bit more complicated but still pretty easy.

First, find an animated image. the best format for this to save steps is a .gif image. otherwise, you might have to convert your base image when you upload it later. then, find your stamp template. for this I will be using the same template as before.

The hard thing about this is that you have to know the amount of pixels in the stamp template. This stamp template is exactly 99x56. then, we count how many pixels it takes to reach the image height wise and width wise, and then subtract- and this equals what we need to crop our gif to. You will need an art program to calculate this if you are figuring it out on your own. I usually draw a line at the bottom, and then at the side. if it's a weird stamp that has varying lines, it depends where the deepest pixel into the image is.

for our example stamp, the dimensions are then 95x51

Aswell, for cropping on ezgif, you have to use the overlay function to put your stamp onto your gif! but the weird thing is.. it doesn't know where to put it automatically. So you have to tell it. It's basically a guessing game, I don't know the method to the madness. But for this one, you overlay it at 45 left and 23 top. Who knows why.

the final step- go into crop, and select "trim transparent pixels around image". this will make the gif approximately the right size.

Here's some examples for other stamp templates.

[hordraomin]

Krita tutorial the way I know it.

Basics: What is where.

Gimmicks.

Specific advice on specific tools.

Basics: What is where.

Upon opening the program this is what you're met with. First of all, must comment: The layout is HEAVILY editable so you can just drag menus anywhere you want, even leave them floating amidst the sheet you're drawing on.

You can create custom art templates, I have two o'mine here as both have my signature background color.

As well, you can edit the custom document settings, as in what size you want it, what resolution, even the initial content of the image. As well you can create from clipboard: Just copy some image from your browser and Krita will recognize it (useful for making meme edits lol).

Now, once you have your file, I will show you what is where.

Brushes:

Brushes are easy to edit and there are tons of free bundles to download online. I myself only got one bundle, Jackpack (bit hard to find now due to original source being lost, it is still available but bit tricky to come by).

There. Are. Tons.

Some of these are my custom brushes for calligraphy in neography, you might even guess which ones. You can edit existing brushes, make new ones from the ones you've edited without changing the original, and all sorts of stuff (more below in the third chapter).

There are numerous packages of brushes once you enter Krita, but only one/two are available when you first open it. To unlock them all, click here:

And make sure all bundles are dark gray in color (example of both dark and light below).

Now Tools Options: those will pop up depending on what tool you're using.

Symmetry: Fun stuff. You can drag the lines depending on how you need them and then center them back to the center of the screen if needed.

Gradients and Textures also have their tools options, you can play with those to get the feeling what they can do (more in third chapter).

The Filters tab is useful too. Blurring, motion blurring, color mapping, artistic filters and all that: Quite fun.

Gimmicks.

Krita allows you to customize your workspace freely. Floating menus, tabs, anything you want. It has quite many drivers at that-

To access the workspace templates, go to Window and choose Workspace.

Krita allows for copy-pasting any image onto the sheet. Though, for me it sometimes crashes if I accidentally copy-paste text into it without choosing the Text tool first.

The software allows for both raster and vector work. It is basically Photoshop sharpened to be used by artists primarily.

There are some interesting mechanics regarding the Eraser (default bind E).

You can use it with any brush, allowing for textured erasure/quick work. Good for sketching.

You can use it on gradients (given there's a transparent point on the gradient preset).

There's a Multibrush tool:

People say Krita is good for animation but my brain can't wrap around it yet honestly @~@.

The keybinds:

B - Brush tool.

E - Erase tool option.

M - Mirror (useful for checking accuracy from a new angle).

Ctrl - Color pick (when used with brush or other color-using tools).

Shift+L.Mouse+drag - Changes the size of the brush by dragging left and right.

Ctrl+E - Merge layer with the one below.

Ctrl+G - Group selected layers.

Ctrl+A - Select whole sheet.

Ctrl+Shift+A - Deselect everything.

F - Bucket tool.

G - Gradient tool.

Ctrl+S - Save document.

Ctrl+Shift+S - Save As document.

Ctrl+N - New document.

Ctrl+O - Open document (will be seen in a new tab on top of the sheet).

Ctrl+C - Copy selected layer or selection.

Ctrl+X - Cut selected layer or selection.

Ctrl+V - Paste copied/cut layer or selection.

Q - Multibrush tool.

R.Mouse - Interesting thing: Opens up a quick selector for brushes and colors you've already used in the piece.

1 - Zoom 100%.

2 - Zoom to fit the piece vertically.

3 - Zoom to fit the piece horizontally.

4, 5, 6 - Turn 15 degrees (4 and 6) or undo the turning whatsoever (5).

Ctrl+I - Negative filter applied to layer.

Ctrl+U - Color editing on the layer.

Ctrl+Y - Soft proofing mode (for color mistakes and stuff like that, mostly annoying for me tbh).

Ctrl+T - Transform selection/layer.

Ctrl+R - Square select tool.

Ctrl+J - Lasso select tool.

Honestly you can just hover your mouse over tools and see their shortcut binds, as well. Or edit them in Settings.

Specific advice on specific tools.

Brush:

Brush editor is a great tool for making custom brushes, and it even has a sratchpad to test them out. Lots of settings, but no need to be afraid; Most of them you might never use on purpose.

Use Brush Smoothing for great and pretty lines in lining pieces or making calligraphy.

Gradient:

The four icons to the right top are:

Mirror gradient.

Arrange by lightness value.

Arrange by color value.

Space the stops evenly.

Click the gradient to add a new stop. The three things to the left are:

Make the stop use Primary Color.

Make the stop use Secondary Color.

Make the stop use a fixed color.

[dreemurr-skelememer]

Hey! I love your art so much and was wondering what brushes and/or art programs you use, I'm an artist myself and am just genuinely curious. Sorry if this is a strange ask or anything... I don't use or get on Tumblr too often. Thanks for reading this ask and have a good day/night. (This is my first ask to anyone I think)

hey!!! i use Paint Tool SAI 2!

as of the moment (which means i constantly change it) here is my main doodling/sketching/lineart brush:

my coloring brush: any hard edged basic brush will do, you can also use the bucket tool or the lasso tool, it's simply for coloring

my blushing brush: i blend this brush out by switching to transparency (making it an eraser) and lightly tapping the outside of the paint! (sai users, do this by pressing C on your keyboard. lifesaver been using this shortcut for years) it's versatile, i love using it for gradients

marker brush (usually for ecto): i use this brush only when i want to paint ecto (which i don't do often) but you can use this for other purposes too! it's not my favorite, not even good enough for ecto imo, because my sai 1 version is much better i blend things out the EXACT SAME WAY as the blush brush so please keep that in mind!

a basic brush im testing out for shading purposes: it has a little bit of texture and is made for baaasically cel shading but slightly softer and has the tiniest bit of color mixing

blending brush i barely use and don't actually really like that much: i'm still testing out blending brushes that i like because i can't find one that i like that isn't just blurring colors together or making them muddy when mixed together. if anybody has suggestions, PLEASE let me know! anything like a procreate or csp blending brush that can be recreated would be great

and finally, my rendering brush: it's basically a basic hard edged brush that can pick up the smallest bit of color i use it to clean up and add final touches by using the drop picker often and over the entire artwork

ofc, change anything to your preferences. that's how it goes these are just the settings that work for me :) this also goes for the program LOL i know sai is not for everyone (but it's my baby my bestie my 5ever so like this is about ME)

i have an in-depth post about my CSP brushes and how i work with them (and i don't really ever use csp unless it's a big piece so it's not changing anytime soon) if that's what you have or prefer

my #ref tag is also a treasure trove of my old settings over the years if you'd like to see those too

[ofduskanddreams]

How I download fics and give them covers before sending them to my Kindle.

Hi all, I've been considering making a post about this for a while and now seems as good a time as any. I'm not an expert, and there is more than one way you can do this; I'm just going to show you my process using "Call It What You Want To" by @separatist-apologist as an example. [This will only work on computers FYI.]

Part One — Getting Started

Download Calibre (it's free.) Calibre for PC. Calibre for Mac. They also have it for Linux but idk if that's still relevant.

Follow the program's setup instructions, and then those for wirelessly connecting Calibre with your Kindle account. Alternatively, you can connect your Kindle/e-reader to your computer with a cable and transfer files manually or download the file to your hard drive and share it another way. I highly recommend taking a few extra minutes to set up the wireless sharing as I think it's far more convenient.

Create a folder in which to store fanfiction downloads so that you can be an organized human.

Part Two — The Fanfiction

Find the fic you want to download on ao3 and click it so that you're on the fic's first page.

Above the box of metadata (ratings, warning, tags, etc.) on the far right click the "download" option. When prompted to select a file type, choose "MOBI."

Note: Though ao3 has an "EPUB" option I've noticed a bug that removes the chapter navigation from the fic when downloading the EPUB directly from ao3. If you enjoy the "x minutes left in this chapter/book" feature on your e-reader, you will want to download "MOBI" and we will be converting it later in Calibre.

Save the file to the folder you created.

Launch Calibre if it isn't already running.

In Calibre, click "add books" on the toolbar at the top of the screen.

Navigate to the folder you saved the fic in, select the fic, then click "open." Calibre will import the MOBI file to your library.

Now as you can see, "Call It What You Want To" already has a cover when we imported it to the library. That is because the cover image is embedded in the fic on the archive. Some fics will already have covers embedded such as this one.

Calibre is not a genius. If there are multiple images in the fic it will usually take the first one and default it to the cover. In the next section, I will go over how to add/change the cover of a fic in Calibre and how I like to create them.

Note: Even if the fic doesn't have embedded images, covers may have been made by readers and linked to the fic either in the notes or related works sections so it's worth checking if a cover already exists. If a fic is popular enough, a Google search of the fic's title + "cover" or "cover art" will show you if there have been covers already created for it.

Part Three — Making The Cover (I use Canva)

On the Canva homepage click "create a design" then select the "custom size" option. Canva does have a book cover template but I've found that it's awkwardly tall compared to the default size for Kindle books so I make my own.

I set the dimensions of the design to be 1024 pixels wide, and 1600 pixels tall, then click "create new design."

This is where you can get creative, make whatever you want. These basic steps are shown in a gif at the bottom of the section:

One: Choose a background image (you'll want to make sure it's a high enough quality that it won't be pixelated.) I used an image I had already uploaded into Canva, but you can use whatever you would like.

Two: On the sidebar, select "elements" and then "rectangle."

Three: Make sure the rectangle covers the whole design, then change the color. I like using the colors from the photo that Canva suggests and then making them a darker shade. Once you have the color that you want, reduce the transparency of the rectangle to anywhere between 40-50%. (This step ensures that the text we put on top of the image is easily legible, play around with it a bit.)

Four: On the sidebar, select "text" and then "add a text box." Then type in the author's username and change the font, the color, and the size until you like it. Repeat the same steps for the fic's title. I like to center the title on the page and put the author toward the bottom but that's just my preference.

Once your cover looks the way you want it to, click "share" at the top right and follow the steps to download the file as a PNG. I usually just save the image to my desktop so I can grab it easily once I'm in Calibre.

Part Four — Adding the Cover in Calibre

In your Calibre library, hover over the fic and right-click. Then hover over "edit metadata" and click "edit metadata individually."

On the "edit metadata" screen, find the section that says "change cover" and click "browse."

When the file upload dialog box appears, navigate to the PNG you just saved from Canva, select it, and click "open." This will add your cover to the fic. You can use these same steps to add any cover image that you've saved to your computer.

Make sure to click "ok" at the bottom of the screen to save your new cover and navigate back to the library page.

Part Five — Converting to EPUB

In your Calibre library, select the fic and then click "convert books" on the toolbar. At the top right of the converting screen, set the "output format" to "EPUB."

Now, the following steps are unnecessary little things I do to make my reading experience more seamless.

Click "Look & Feel" on the left sidebar. Under the "fonts" tab, I embed the "Georgia" font family. I do this because I prefer reading in Georgia which is not a default option on my PaperWhite*. I have my Calibre conversion settings in place to do this automatically. You can embed any font that you have on your computer.

*It might just be me, but when opening a downloaded fic (following the methods in this post) for the first time on my Kindle the font is always weird. The trick to fix it is to go and change the font from whatever is selected (Baskerville in my case) to "publisher's font" and then I've found that switching it back to "Baskerville" on the font selection screen activates the embedded Georgia... even though it will say that it's Baskerville? Idk why this is, I just wanted to let you know how I fix it.

Calibre defaults to a justified text alignment unless you change the default settings. This appears as "original" in the alignment options. The random too-large spaces between words of a justified alignment give me the ick so to make everything left aligned, I stay on the "look & feel" page but move to the "text" tab where I can change the alignment.

Staying on "look & feel," move to the "layout" tab. To ensure even paragraph spacing regardless of how it appeared on the archive, I select both the "remove spaces between paragraphs" and "insert blank line between paragraphs" options.

On this page, you can also change the indent size of the first line of every paragraph (highlighted pink,) and the size of the blank lines Calibre will insert between paragraphs upon conversion (highlighted green.) I set the indent to 0.0 and leave the line size 0.5 which is the default.

The last thing I do is go to "EPUB output" on the left sidebar and check the box labeled "insert inline table of contents." This just means that Calibre will add a table of contents to the beginning of the EPUB. (By default it puts the TOC at the end which I don't like.)

When everything is set as you'd like it, click "ok" on the bottom right and Calibre will convert the MOBI file you downloaded from ao3 to an EPUB containing the settings we just changed. Both file types will appear in your library when you click on the fic and scroll within the right-side window. I usually delete the MOBI format after I have the EPUB because I don't need it any longer.

And you've done it! Now all you have to do is either right-click and share it to your Kindle, or you can "save to disk" and download the EPUB file to transfer to your e-reader by a method of your choosing.

I hope someone finds this marginally helpful. In truth, I was just bored so I made this post but in light of the recent DDoS attacks against ao3, I think everyone should look into downloading their favorites so that you're never left out in the cold again.

Happy fanfic downloading <3

[nogenderbee]

♡˗ˏ✎*ೃ˚ 𝕄𝕍 𝕡𝕣𝕠𝕕𝕦𝕔𝕖𝕣 ₊˚ˑ༄

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ anon request: When I am sending this, the requests are still open, but if it is no longer possible, just ignore this, I would like to request a Akito and Mizuki with a reader edit or produce videos/MV's, perhaps they met Akito thanks to An which I asked help for VBS, Mizuki maybe they met through Ena…I don't really know about Mizuki but enough with Akito, you decide! Thank you!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ They indeed were! I guess it could be read as fluff too but I unintentionally made it more on platonic side... But hey, read it however you want! Well maybe Akito's part is on slightly more fluff side actually...

Anyway, I really hope you'll like what I wrote in class <3

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ platonic/fluff

Affiliation with @virtualbookstore

✧ looking at the fact An most likely invited you because of friendship connections, Aktio first thought it was stupid to invite another person to their group

✧ but after seeing your skills and how passionate you are about it... he wasbujder big impression

✧ definitely gave good composition affixes thanks to being in family of artists

✧ his ideas may seem like a lot sometimes but believe me, he means no harm for this project, he just wants it to look it's best

✧ you most likely get along with him and Toya the most because they're usually helping you on spot while girls go look for inspirations

✧ but with time, it becomes just him. Everyone will assure you it's just that Toya is busy lately but An's smirk twllsnyoubirs not the entire truth-

✧ he doesn't know much about MV making si gell usually just trust the process and judge the final look

✧ he usually answers like he doesn't care, when in fact he just wants you to take a break or can't find anything bad about it

"It looks okey, quit worrying! C'mon, let's just go get some pancakes and made just now."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @akitosheart @yulikesminori @toyaswif3y @miya-akane - come get your pancakes lover!

✧ Mizuki is too! So the day Ena brought you to Nightcord call was such a nice time for them!

✧ you definitely rambles so much at first, you got no work done and even some Nightcord members ehem Mafuyu or Ena has to remind you to go to bed or shut up finally

✧ if you're supposed to help them with MV for n25, it'll be both fun and hard time...

✧ they're really fun and easily think I'd Topix for you to chat about but they're also very picky... so they WILL make this MV perfect, no matter the cost

✧ but don't worry, if you decide you're tired or so, they'll be happy to make the project last longer for do some work later themselves, they understand beauty of the sleep!

✧ but if you're really just great friends, they'll hustbasi you for honest opinion about recent video they finished

✧ complaining about how shitty the program you're using is and how bad some MV's you found are is like tour second nature in this relationship by now

"Sis you saw that?! They didn't even made it transparent! It's just a square! Ugh... and whole song is less pleasing just like that..."

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

@bleachtheidiot @prsk-krow @modyuki @virtualpoison - come get your cuties lover~

[not-terezi-pyrope]

How did you get into AI (and maybe compsci more generally)? I'm curious in part to know more about your background, but also because I'm interested in getting into it as well

Huh, big question.

Well, I got into compsci via programming and pretty young. I mean, I was always interested in computers as that's the field my dad works in and his excitement for games and hardware transferred. I was particularly into source engine games from his influence, which lead to me being super obsessed with Garry's Mod when I was 10, and when I was 11-12 ish I discovered the "wiremod" logic mod for that, and was instantly entranced building robots and mini-computers in game. Initially that was by hooking up discrete logic gates, but then I discovered that there was an entire full-featured programming language built into the mod as well, and teaching myself that while playing the game after school was how I learned to program.

I wanted to take that to some non-gmod contexts as well, and so I learned a bit of Java via "Greenfoot", which was/is(?) a library and web community for building little 2D Java games, popular with kids and teens. I actually won an iPod in a Greenfoot coding contest when I was 13. I carried that interest in programming through school, where I did computer science at GCSE and AS levels, then after a brief foray at studying film for less than 6 months, picked up programming as a proper hobby again when I was 19, and went to do a Computer Science degree because I was transparently so much better at programming than I was any of my arts stuff, lol. It's uniquely compelling and fits right in my brain the way nothing else does.

The AI interest mostly comes from fiction, again from pretty young. Portal (another source engine game) was one of my favourite games as a teenager, and I spent a while in Garry's Mod building my own automatons and autonomous robots, and creating wiremod bots that could talk in chat, respond to commands, do some basic statistical language analysis, pretty much figuring it out just off the top of my head.

That interest in artificial intelligence lead to me following the field pretty loosely for a while, and I discovered transhumanist thought in my late teens, and was interested in simulating cognition more specifically as it related to subjects like mind uploads, but I didn't get super into AI as a discipline until I discovered the first online GPT-2 demo in 2018 and read the associated papers. I was like, "oh, fuck. This is like nothing we've ever had before, this is going to change the world, I am fascinated by this and I should try to get in on this now". That lead to me focusing on AI for my undergraduate thesis and then later for my master's degree. I would be working in AI now, if I hadn't entirely failed to find any good roles, and also, if I am honest, if the online conversation around and backlash to LLMs and so forth hadn't soured a lot of my initial enthusiasm, which makes it hard to stay fully up to date with the field. My current job is more general IT work with some programming sprinkled in.

Because the sad thing is I was absolutely right, three years before anyone outside of computer science noticed, in predicting that attention transformers were going to completely upend the tech field and how we interact with computers. What I got wrong in my naivety was thinking that people would respond to that in a good way. Instead it's mostly been distrust and revulsion, which in some respects is understandable, and in others is really sad, especially given the potential that was and is still there. But I worry that this idea that AI is the domain of conniving capitalist techbros is fast becoming a self-fulfilling prophecy as everyone who genuinely cares about social issues (I count myself among them) is driven by an almost overwhelming tide to divest themselves from anything that has the whiff of a neural net about it.

I am at least partially resisting for now.

[funger-rips]

How do you rip sprites and stuff? I would like to do a reskin of Mechanical Dance's sprites that people can use in a game but I want to be able to guide people on how to do it! (Also, can you post Mechanical Dance? hehe)

Alright, this is going to be a long ass post. So everything undercut, and I'll post Mechanical Dance After this. Quick note, I don't know how to go about putting them back into the game, but! I can show you how to get the sprite sheets! (I assume from all I use it's basically just working backwards, but don't quote me)

I use Petschkos RPG-Maker MV & MZ-File Decrypter (link)

Use En- & Decrypt,

(if bought off steam) Browse to Steam > steamapps > common > Fear & Hunger 2 Termina > www > img

You're going to find all the sprite sheets in the characters folder

It'll all look like this once you decrypt and save (my folder as an example)

Now. Fear and hunger, even in the first game isn't labeled the best. (Not that this is a bad thing) So, you will have to dig for some sprites, though it's not hard as long as you don't rush! Thankfully! Mechanical Dance isn't hard to find, so we can find the sprite sheets

So next part is pretty easy, open these up in any photo/art program you use. (ATM I use my copy CPS bc I'm lazy)

SO, this next part is important. You're going to notice that in some sprites have copies of the same positions / pose. That's fine! In rpgmaker, some animations need at least three frames, even is there is no major visual difference. I tend to for rips just copy one of them.

Then all you do crop the sprite you want, and save it as a duplicate PNG to keep the transparency. I'd also suggest for some sheets, adding a colored background layer to make it a bit easier to too at. (Just be sure to hide the layer when saving for the transparency.) Good luck and I hope your edits go well!!! ^^

[bucknastysbabe]

THE LAST DAMN THING IM SAYING;

I’d also like to say and make this clear: I’m not friends with Bel and Fae anymore after what I saw posted. That connection is severed. I am still friends with Chris and will remain to be as she is a good person who also fucked up. I was apprehensive about remaining friends when the original post came out considering it was about me— including the purposely left comment by the OP also making fun of me. Which led me back into believing their lies.

I was lied to until the bitter end. I wanted to HOPE until the bitter end everything wasn’t true but I saw the screenshots. About analgate, about being inclusive, and use of slurs. Many other things under the guise of “we made up” so I wanted to trust them.

My gut feeling would switch now and then but I got caught up. I reread the entire gc convo to look at my comments. It’s disgusting to watch yourself become more hateful. That’s a really shitty part of me I worked hard to get rid of in real life through the program of AA.

Somehow I managed to convince myself gossiping and being mean wasn’t so bad online. It is just as awful because people are behind a url. I know better. Now the level of crassness and racism I did not see from them in our small groupchat, as it was being hidden. I have never sent a hate anonymous post, they claimed the same, only to find out that’s all they did and probably did the same to me. Nice.

I seriously fucked up making fun of Agnes appearance due to my dislike getting in the way of doing the next right thing. Which I’m trying to do now. Don’t harass readers or small blogs about me. They are reading about sucking and fucking, not looking into online drama.

The other fuck up I would like to clarify on my behalf. To all Germans— I made tasteless jokes about a German user not liking Fabien Frankel bc of his Jewish heritage. That’s ignorant of me. Very ignorant. Especially as I dated and loved a guy from Berlin for over a year and he even told me that’s a sore spot for them.

Now that sounds like “I have (insert) friends!!!”

But I’m following up to say I still have my OWN unresolved anger at him for our toxic relationship. So I have said “fucking Germans.” For the love of everything good and holy I DO NOT want every person in that country to blow up and die. There’s a difference between vile racism and backward comments coming from a place of hurt. I acknowledge it’s childish and nasty. I also don’t use the word n@z1, but that was clarified in the second post on who said that.

Hope this clears things up. This is the most transparent I can be. I can’t fix any of the hurt I’ve caused. Apologizing like a broken record is annoying— I know. So this is it. I’m staying up. I can only go forward, if you’d like to stay in the past, farewell. For people who are hurt take all the time you need.

[ophernelia]

Hey Brooklyn! Sorry if this has been answered before I just searched in your tumblr & couldn’t find anything, but I was wondering where you learned how to create hairs? Or if there’s a good place to start for somebody who already has knowledge of blender? The WIP you just posted looks so good!

Hiii and thank you!

I kinda just learned by looking at other people's meshes as weird as that sounds lol. (And also a lot of trial and error.) Whenever I'd do a render, particularly if the sim I'm ripping uses an alpha hair, I'd notice how they had modeled it. And when you use alpha hair in blender, you always have to add a transparency shader in order for it to look right. So, I realized alpha hairs are just transparent planes. It's just a matter of assembling them so it looks like a hair. The next thing I had to figure out was how to get them into the game. I already knew how to do it for build and cas cc so I tried to apply the same logic to hairs. (I haven't learned how to weights yet, so that's the next obstacle.) There were a few differences so I just looked at the meshes of other hairs I downloaded. I figured out what part connects to what studio mesh, what base mesh to use, etc. Honestly, it's been hard to find a good tutorial on it. I just kinda had to figure stuff out myself and still am lol. That's why y'all see me struggling in real time whenever I post a wip. Once I get a good handle on it I'd be more than willing to put out a tutorial.

Oh and as fair as the hair map/base- I just applied what I learned whenever I made makeup and tattoo cc! It was a lot of drawing and redrawing. I think other creators might use either photoshop or an art program on their pc, but all I know how to use it procreate lol. So, I upload the base, see how it looked on the sim, and just did my best to draw the adjustments. I think a lot of the way I do things is really clunky and messy. I have no idea what I'm doing fr lmao.

[pandor-pandorkful]

To do list time? To do list time.

Queue stream VODs for patreon!!

Queue art and WIP updates for patreon!! I didn't post anything in December, and I know I was stressed and grieving and all but that's bad form >_<

Send thank-you note for another surprise SKULMUST gift!! ;;~;; <3

Order backup drives with surprise SKULMUST gift money <3

A new air filter cartridge as well!!!

Find old to do lists and see if there's anything fun I can check off :3

Research how to make more custom redeemables for twitch points :3c I want custom images and stuff to pop up on screen...

FIND A GOOD GIF MAKING PROGRAM AAAAAAA twitches built-in gif maker has issues with transparency and makes my scrungly gifs even more scrungled with black pixels EVERYWHERE >_<

Remake those scrungly emotes less scrungly

Make more emotes in general!!!

CONTACT ISP ABOUT BETTER INTERNET FFS I'm gonna chat at them first, to build my confidence about calling. :V

Get better at pitching the concept of subscribing to my twitch... I have one sub so far hahaha <3 (ty Kamal, my new pigeon loving friend!)

Make that intro playlist, so I don't have to cold open all the time while I wait for people to filter into chat! :3

Assemble the calendar and make more merch!!!!

I had a fun sticker sheet idea last night: video game cats I love :3c Featuring the Katta and Liontaurs from QFG, Nall and Ruby from Lunar, Bob from Animal Crossing, M'aiq the Liar from TES aaaaand, hmmmm... oh! Alphador from Chrono Trigger, of course. >w<

Also I have some new on-hand stickers designs I need to photograph and list on my shop!!

I really ought to get a thermal label printer for shipping one of these days.... but sales have been too slow to justify it so far.....

Design a new logo, the Rocket Unicorn is kinda visually busy and stylistically outdated. And just reminds me of grad school when I look at it. :B

Add more hotkey expressions to my mad scientist pngtuber!! I've have them drawn for months!! I just need to export the pngs!!

Probably about time to give the pc an internal dusting! I want to install that second hard drive too!!! I'm running out of space!!!!

Everything needs dusting tbh.

[granulesofsand]

Social Etiquette

Background

We realized and remembered we had DID when we were in our late teens. We had been out of the worst abuse for several years, which was already lucky for us, and never got to a point where a majority of us were aware of the others.

We were 13ish when the group flipped the kind of training we got, probably younger because of our period. It went from actively very bad to passively not too great. Lots of ideologies and pushing for achievement outside of the group. We even got to go to college.

We’re still scared that they’re coming back for us. We don’t give details about ourselves, our programming, or where we came from. I feel like we’re inauthentic because I can’t be fully transparent.

Respecting Others’ Stories

But I’m not mad that other kids got out sooner. I’m not suspicious that they found out about their systems or trauma. I’m mostly jealous, but I know it’s not appropriate to put those feelings into actions.

I don’t actually care if they’re making it up. I don’t care if their experiences are different than mine. I think it’s great that people are becoming comfortable speaking out, and I don’t care if there’s not a grain of truth behind it.

Respecting Your Story

I don’t stay in contact with people who disbelieve me. If someone in my life is overly critical because some people are lying, they can go be pissy somewhere else. I’m willing to change a lot about myself to improve, but I’m not going to shove my system down because someone else suspects it isn’t true.

I don’t think our community should be catering to critics, not in the way that we try to look more normal for singlets to take us seriously.

Boundaries

I’m not particularly offended if a Hard of Hearing alter identifies that way in a hearing body, or if trans alters don’t match their identity to their body. Good for them.

If children are aware of their system, good for them. If changing the way they type or speak feels comfy, good for them. If a system is holding onto delusions, good for them. If I can’t find harm in their choices, good for them.

Interacting with people relies on boundaries and communication. If you run into an issue, you hear each other out and decide if anyone can make changes or if it would be better to stop contact. Sometimes stopping contact comes first, and that’s also good boundaries for keeping safe.

Safety

If someone is causing harm, you are not required to help them grow or repair damages they cause. Sometimes you can move them through it, and that can feel good. You still don’t have to.

Similarly, it’s beneficial to listen to people who have a problem with something you are doing. You don’t have to entertain them. Learn which things you aren’t willing to compromise on and why.

I’m not willing to give up my trans identity. It matches our body, and having transition and community have made a positive impact on my life. I don’t know how much of that was effected by trauma, and that part I’m willing to talk about if I feel safe.

It’s a balance between having boundaries that feel safe and knowing when those boundaries need to change. It’s a lot, and it’s okay to take breaks or agree ahead of time how to interact with someone familiar. There are areas to rest and spend less energy on socializing, just not at the expense of someone who didn’t agree.

TL; DR: Talk to people and set boundaries to have safe interactions.

[the-haunted-office]

September can’t remember ever being quite so nervous as pops out of the bathroom mirror in Thursday’s room at the Sanctuary. She’s even more nervous than she was when started her first job. More nervous than when she moved out of her parents’ apartment and into her own. More nervous than when she first came out to Thursday. More nervous than trying to figure out a way to ask her out to lunch...

Why does this have to be so hard? Thursday is her friend. The Anon she spoke to earlier made a lot of good points. There’s no way that a person’s entire personality could be programmed like that, not a human being, and Thursday is just about the most human person she knows.

(Cut here due to length!)

The Reaper sits there in the bathroom for a moment, quietly melting all over the floor and then reforming and melting again in an endless cycle. It’s harder to hold herself together when she’s nervous like this. All the others with her are nervous too. She can feel them all shifting around with that nervous energy, creating the instability of her form right now.

Should she try to push herself into a more human appearance? A lot of others prefer her that way, as opposed to being a gelatinous mess full of free-floating body parts and a dozen faces sticking out of her, multiple out-of-place limbs, and being the size of a room. Thursday doesn’t mind her either way, and yet she still feels the need to look more “presentable”.

Sighing, she focuses her energy into reshaping herself to appear more human, as close as she can get to how she was when she was alive. She’s still a melting mess, but now her extra faces are suppressed as are her excess limbs, and the eyeballs and teeth that were plainly visible through her semi-transparent mass. Now she looks more like a regular ghoul - minus her eyes. And she has on a plain black t-shirt with Kuromi on it, a pink skirt, and shin-high black boots. It’s a comfortable look for her, even if holding this form long-term is uncomfortable.

She steps out of the bathroom to find Thursday waiting for her. Nothing has changed about the other woman except for her abdomen, swollen with child, which is now more swollen than it was a couple weeks ago when she last saw her. She looks happy, but not happy enough. There’s a deep anxiety in her eyes that Sept can see even across the room. But she’s still pretty to her. She’s always been pretty to her.

“Hey,” Sept says lamely, not knowing what else to say.

“Hey!” is Thursday’s far more enthusiastic reply as she rushes over. She tentatively holds her arms open for a hug, and after a moment of hesitation Sept complies. “I’m so glad to see you! I was really worried, I thought maybe you’d gotten hurt or something, or that Jane had gotten you-”

“I’m fine,” Sept says, although she doesn’t feel fine. Nothing about any of this feels fine, but it’s her customary response to being asked how she’s feeling or the question of her feelings being indicated indirectly.

“Good, that’s good,” says Thursday. They release each other from their embrace and right away Thursday takes her hands and leads her over to her bed to sit her down. Sept complies without much thought behind it. Her thoughts are too busy scrambling over what she wants to say. What she should say. How to say it. But before she can say anything, Thursday is thrusting a sonogram into her hands. “Look!” she blurts out excitedly. “That’s from just a few days ago. Look at how much they’ve grown! They said everything looks good, the baby is growing right on schedule and their brain looks healthy and their spine looks healthy and- and, you know, all that stuff.”

Some of Sept’s anxiety ebbs away at the sight of the little human who is only a few weeks away from being brought into this world. She allows herself to smile a little. “That’s really great. I can’t wait to see them,” she says, handing the picture back to the expectant mother.

Thursday takes the picture back, looks at it for a second or two, then puts it away and starts to fidget with the sleeves of her hoodie. Sept recognizes that gesture. It’s something Thursday unconsciously does when she’s nervous. Well, at least Sept isn’t alone in that - she feels fidgety too.

For a moment both of them just sit there, neither wanting to be the first to speak. Sept can feel her own anxiety mounting and starts to seriously consider getting up and bolting while she still has the chance. But then, in her usual fashion, Thursday launches right into things.

“Okay, I think I have a pretty good idea what all of this is about, and I just want to say that no matter what happens, no matter if- You see, they’re going to look at that chip, right? Yes, I know about it,” Thursday says after Sept flinches and looks away. “They’re going to look at it and see if there’s a way of disabling it or removing it or at least getting an idea of what it is.”

“We both know what it is,” Sept says.

“Yes, and what I’m trying to say is, no matter what happens, no matter what they find about it or- or if- if it means that there’s something about me that’s- you know, that’s been programmed or meddled with, I’m- I’m always me. And my feelings for you will never change. You’re always going to be my friend and I’m always going to care about you and love you, okay? So- So don’t think that some stupid little piece of plastic is going to change anything.”

“What if it already has?” Sept asks, bringing her glowing gaze up to meet Thursday’s before quickly looking away again. “What if this isn’t really you?”

“Well then by golly, I choose who I am and this is who I choose to be,” the other woman replies adamantly. “And besides. Remember when I was infected with that mist? I mean, I know you weren’t there there, but you still- But yeah, when I found out that thing was living in my blood I was- it was one of the worst days of my life and-”

Sept is halfway between surprised and amused, although this is too serious of a conversation for her to fully express that amusement. But she still comments, “You mean it wasn’t the worst day of your life?”

Thursday is amused by her comment, though. It seems there is no conversation too serious for her to smile. “Well yeah, just one of the worst. I’ve been through a lot of shit, right? Especially around these dumb offices. I’ve been stabbed, blown up, thrown over the edge of a platform, struck by lightning- Safe to say, a little bit of parasitic infection has a lot to contend with,” she chuckles.

Sept would roll her eyes if she still had them. As it is, she scoffs. “I see your point.”

“Anyway, yeah, it was one of the worst days of my life, one of the scariest things I’ve ever had happen to me, and when it was discovered there was the question of, ‘What if this thing has been manipulating me this whole time?’ Right? I was terrified not only of what it could- what it was going to do to me, but not only that, I was terrified of what it had already possibly done. What if my entire personality and my friendships and everything was just- just some big lie that the mist was creating, that it was walking around pretending to be me or it had changed me into someone I wasn’t, just- You get the idea.”

Sept nods quietly. She gets that idea exactly.

“Well... To be honest, it turned out partially true,” Thursday says, now twisting the sleeve of her hoodie in her hands. Sept is sitting very still, almost frozen, although she can feel her own nervous energy causing a lot of uncomfortable shifting inside her. “I mean, when I started to get my memories back... When I remembered being Charlotte, it was like... suddenly I had two people living inside me, and both of them were me, and... it took a while to reconcile that. After I survived everything, it took me a while to remember and figure out who I was. And- well, the rest you know, because here I am. I’m still me! Just- more of me, I suppose.”

Well, she does have a point, Sept realizes. She hadn’t thought about the Dampening mist’s effect on her in that way for a long time, but the other woman is right about that. But still... this chip was intentionally implanted by another human being, by someone with far more nefarious intentions than needing what amounts to food to survive.

“September.”

She looks back up and realizes with a sharp jolt of anxiety that the other woman has moved ever-so-slightly closer to her. Not knowing what her intentions are, but not daring to move away at what feels like such a crucial moment of their friendship, she freezes.

“I’m going to do something that- well, quite honestly I’ve wanted to do for a while and just didn’t have the courage.” Thursday pauses, takes a breath, smiles. “I’m going to kiss you, because I really like you and- like I said, I’ve wanted to do it for a while, and I hope you’re okay with that.”

If Sept still had a heart it would be racing faster than a Nascar competitor. She can’t feel anything - pain or pleasure - but she still feels the kind of numbness one gets when things don’t feel real. And for all that, she still finds herself nodding slowly.

Without another word, the other woman presses forward and places her lips softly but firmly against her own. She really can’t feel anything... just the sensation of pressure. But it’s enough. It’s enough to let her know that Thursday is there, and that this is real.

“There,” says Thursday, roses blooming softly in her cheeks as she pulls away. “Now you know how I feel, and as soon as that dumb chip gets cut out of my head I’ll come back and do it again so you’ll know that I still feel the same way.”

Sept doesn’t move, except that her melting state suddenly gets out of control and she starts losing her form. The replica of her human body rapidly deteriorates, random limbs start popping back out all over her. Other faces too, all of them looking around with as much anxiety as Sept herself feels. She can feel their nervous thoughts and movements, which finally forces her back into her default state.

“I didn’t know I had that effect on you,” the other woman chuckles, apparently delighted.

“I don’t- I don’t know why- This doesn’t usually happen- I’m sorry- Uhhh-”

“Okay, I lied. I’m going to kiss you again, while you’re in this form, to show you that I still feel the same, and then after that stupid chip gets removed I’ll come back and do it again.”

“Like this? Even though I look like this-?” Sept stammers in disbelief. She’s a hideous monster, and even though she enjoys the abilities she’s gained from becoming such, she’s still painfully aware of just how extraordinarily ugly she looks. As if she could ever forget, she’s reminded every time someone asks her what she is instead of who she is.

“Absolutely!” Thursday replies, and doesn’t bother elaborating. Instead, she approaches the monster, leans up to grasp her face with both hands, and pulls her down for an encore.

Sept is stunned, but she doesn’t run away.

Now she knows - the pencils were always real.

[inwiste]

The Super Bowl ad post is in bad taste. The ad doesn’t mention Israel, it doesn’t say anything about Palestine. It doesn’t take a second pair of eyes to see that many people are taking advantage of the horrible things Israel is doing to peddle modern day blood libel and other antisemitism (which shouldn’t be used when talking about Israeli Jews, but is particularly transparent when accusing Jews across the globe of dual loyalty). I don’t think it’s a surprise that people are using prime ad space to talk about rising antisemitics. Talking about antisemitism is not inherently undermining Palestine. The tweet is essentially asserting that American media is bought and paid for by Israeli schemers. That’s antisemitic.

I’m not accusing you of anything. I just wanted to point it out. The same thing happened with the Spotify wrapped results over the winter. People jumped on natural yearly variation in the numerical date of the release like Israel had paid off a Swedish music company to manipulate American attention It’s just not plausible.

Again, I think this probably just slipped through because the rest of the post is substantive. We should be talking about the recent killings. It’s disconcerting that the American attention span is so fickle. But Israel isn’t disguising their bombings inside American sporting events.

I’m sorry, I genuinely don’t think badly of you.

You really don’t need to apologize—I appreciate the fact that you are sending me a message, as I know misinformation is rampant right now and I have fallen for it before. I just want to ask for some clarification: the ad I saw was one sponsored by the Israeli government, the Bring Them Home ad that was about the Israeli hostages. Are you talking about the Robert Kraft ad? Robert Kraft has historically held ties to Israel and has even sponsored a passport program that sends teenagers to Israel, which has made me more skeptical of the ad. But, the ad itself doesn’t focus on that, like you said. I also do completely agree that the rising antisemitism should be addressed along with the rise in Islamophobia as well.

I appreciate you sending me a message. I find it incredibly disturbing that people are using the Palestinian genocide as a justification for anti-semitism and hate speech and it makes me extremely upset to see people use the Palestinian cause to peddle antisemitic ideas and white supremacy (looking at Jackson Hinkle and Doctor Anastasia Loupis as prominent examples).

But regarding your point about American media being bought and paid for by Israel, I would like to point to the fact that multiple major news sites have been accused of pro-Israel bias (there’s a good breakdown of it by the intercept), and that the New York Times in particular has pushed false narratives such as the Times Investigation into the alleged sexual assault on October 7th that lacked any substantive evidence. I don’t think Israel is funding American media since that to me is a very serious accusation that feels a bit like the conspiracies surrounding the whole “Jewish cabal is running the world in the shadows” which is so beyond bigoted and deeply concerning that anyone believes in that, but I do think that the pro Israel bias should not be ignored.

There is substantial evidence of Israel having involvement in American affairs though, AIPAC being the best example, as they actively donate to congressional campaigns and have fiercely lobbied in congress. Granted, this isn’t necessarily related to the media.

I want to emphasize the fact that I am not saying these things to spite you at all. I genuinely appreciate you sending me a message because I know that I am susceptible to misinformation and false narratives just like everyone else. I can’t imagine how hard it has been for anti Zionist Jews at this time, given that they are experiencing hate on all sides.

I would also like to say not to you, but to anyone who sees this post that antisemitism is NOT welcome on my blog and antisemites can fuck off. Same goes for any anti-Arab and Islamophobic rhetoric.