#Happy Birthday and what's my age again
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What's My Age Again?
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Sentimental for a moment, but my first birthday to actually celebrate, 23.
Quite a few years ago I saw a picture of someone's "Nobody likes you when you're 23" cake and thought it was so cool, had that pictured saved for years, I wanted my friend to have that cake SO BAD.
I never "wanted" to have that cake because without a shadow of a doubt, I would definitely be dead before then. I would definitely kill myself before then- no question. That was my certainty for over a decade, I would live as long as my dog (because no one would take good enough care of her) and be done. Not a thought I could ever get this cake.
In the last 3 years I lost everything, every bit of the life I always knew was destroyed. But somehow in all that change, I realized, even when my dog died, as miserable as I was, I didn't feel like killing myself.
Now here it is, not the prettiest, not the best, made it myself, but I have my cake. Feels absolutely insane to have gotten here.
#suicidal tw#Happy Birthday and what's my age again#ridiculous how much hell I was given just to have that on a cake too
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Mikhail and Vitali were inseparable; when they weren’t studying or getting into fights, they would hang out at Mikhail’s place to smoke and get drunk on cheap rum and vodka, to then pass out in each other’s arms and sleep most of the next day away. They promised each other— no matter what would happen— they would never leave each other’s side. Yet after starting university and college respectively, they did not see each other for a little over six years, leaving them both heartbroken and wondering what went wrong.
by lucas expedidor // catch me if you can; eden // clementine von radics, from 'courtney love prays to oregon' // sam sax, cruising: a broken tiara // 'ceramic home' by heavensghost; quote from john murillo // 'something's changed' by laiikastears // i don't want to watch the world end with someone else; clinton kane // fortesa latifi, from 'the truth about grief' // audre lorde, the evening news // frank o'hara, biotherm (for bill berkson) // heading home; ruben // 'preface to a dream' by alessandra casini // tokyo; caroline kole // langston hughes, poem // haruki murakami, norwegian wood // julie buntin, marlena // by lute // by aleksandr popov // anyway; noah kahan // christa wolf, cassandra: a novel and four essays
#cp2077#edit:mikhail#edit:vitali#nuclearocs#nuclearedits#happy birthday to my two boys :^) yes they share the same birthday what about it. it's essential to their whole. thing#whatever it is. they're like soulmates but also they are NOT dating. i need you to understand that. because it makes everything funnier#you guys remember when i first introduced them here and people thought they were together. good times honestly#but yeah no vitali is officially dating vincent and mikhail is just their eternal third wheel. their relationship can't be defined#they also reunite of course but i LOVE emphasizing their grief. they didn't know they'd ever see each other again#and they've known each other since around age 12. imagine spending almost every day with someone who CHOSE you#and then suddenly not seeing them or talking to them for YEARS. what do you do with that grief. that pain#sure they've found each other back but what do you do with that. where do you put it. it makes me insane!!!#they both were so lonely in their own way. vitali getting lost in vices and crowds but ending up all by himself at the end of the day#and mikhail drowning himself in studying and pushing himself far over his limits just to distract himself from the hole in his chest#night city in my head is much more massive than what it feels like in game. like yeah it feels big but not. BIG big#and i think mikhail and vitali's story and them losing contact while only a district apart really emphasizes how like#how HUGE this city is not only in terms of actual land it covers but also just. how overwhelming it is. how it can swallow you whole#anyway if you've read all of this hi. wanna make out
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Alright, Tom DeLonge, I am no longer 23, I expect people to start liking me now
#blink 182#what's my age again?#posting here because it's the only blog i've actually put my age on <3#happy birthday to me!!
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JUST READ THE LATEST CHAP OF LIAR LIAR AND WKDJKWIXIW THE DANCE WAS SO CHTE THEY ARE SO CUTE I FIKWKDKW ALSK THE DEDICATION TO ME MADE ME SO HAPPY THAT WAS SO DWEET LITERALLY THE BEST GIFT I COULDVE ASKED FOR UOU ARE MY FAV THANK YOU if you have no fans i am dead. srs.
ofc it was dedicated to you ml, it was your BIRTHDAY (which i hope you had the best celebration ever for btw) 😫🥳🤭
SOOO glad you liked it, not that i thought you’d hate it bcz it happened to be my fav chapter out of everything i’ve written so far, so i knew you’d like it to some extent at least 🫨
no girl, i don’t have fans, you’re my friend, there’s a difference 😭 we do nawt do fans around here, children (majority of you are slightly older than me but idc idc you guys are my children and i’m the mother hen).
tysm for your comments and messages and just existing, you’re so amazing pls never die wiwksnjwnsbs
#‘happy birthday again jelly-fsh’ we all say in unison!#it was so convenient that her birthday fell right around the time the new chapter was being wrapped up (kinda)#i had to rush a little and wrote 11k words in one sitting to get it out on september 11th (our lovely jelly-fsh’s birthday)#but i felt so accomplished when i did#till tumblr wanted to be a bitch and not release the chapter#still working on that here tho#but yeah#let’s all thank jelly-fsh for letting me know it was her birthday#she told me not to rush but like hello? it’s ur BIRTHDAY#wanna show my appreciation for her by releasing it on the big day#happy … idk what age lmao… happy nth birthday!!!!#belated since it passed but yk 😭#love her to death#love my little family of liars here#<3333#liar liar asks!
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Sister coming back to this side of the Atlantic fr three weeks near the end of this month all i can say is lol eww omg ewwww and also booo tomatoees
#i do not trust her and her motives and do not like the thought of her being back in the country and w my mom like. at all.#shes a manipulator. shes selfish. but also if my mom wants to invite her in thats a decision i cant forbid her from making.#i do not like this but also can not allow myself to be bothered by it. thank fuck itll only be three weeks#kinda sucks a lil bc i had planned a week off work AGES ago and was so happy id get to spend time w my mom then to celebrate#her own mom died of cancer aged 59 so the fact that shes beating that illness and making it to 60. idk. i wanted to celebrate w her.#but now my sister is like I WANNA BE THERE MY LIFE OVER HERE SUCKS IM COMING OVER so we all have to Adjust for that 🙄#like whatever....she can have three weeks and then fuck off again even mom said she doesnt want her back permanently she can have this much#ive lived through the highs and lows w my mom in the past several years and will have the following time after.#i am welcome here always. i will have plenty of time to share this momentous birthday christmas new year and all those moments in between.#obv i talk big now but know the nightmares will come soon enough. and that one week off work w no opportunity to come back home.....#idk might fuck off and book a holiday out of the country or smth. autumn cabin retreat. museum tour. wellness thing. any recommends fr nov?#like what places or activities would you recommend but also @other belgians welke middelen om last minute te boeken en er te geraken. idk!!
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I’ve been alive 23 years today 🧍🏻wtf
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who gave sharp the audacity to be so kind, loving, sweetest person. D:< no amount of words i can put up will ever be able to contain the vibe he has; i desperately need a drink with him and i dont even drink and he doesn't even exist!
#smiletalks#ipeak#that man...............#that man instantly turns any of my ideas into a therapy session; hang on i wrote a fic in tags again#im working on a fic and it has 4.4k words chap where it's just him and mc talking through some ministry related topics#she s been down lately because interrogations took a toll on her despite not leaving a slightest shadow on her marks#sharp isnt pleased she used studying as a method for coping with everything#and it didnt escape him mc didnt want to think farther than her owls or rather the day she will leave the school for the summer break#WHICH HAD CAULDRON OF THE PROBLEMS POTION OF ITS OWN#tldr; mc is an incredibility tough for her age but crucially inexperienced to hold up the pressure put on her#and the amount of decision making#gurl is tired#let her sleep bring back the happy-go-lucky kid she used to be#WRITING FICS IN THE TAGS AGAIN.#idc ill keep on so sharp is wlling to save the day#“She might have grown up faster than her peers -- which shouldn't at all matter for her inner child still enjoys pumpkin fizz and snidgets”#“Although her penchant for brandy worries me. Why would a 16 years old young witch need so much?.. DOES SHE SMUGGLE UNDER MY WATCH. PEEVES?#“nvm turned out she has a granian somewhere; evidently it was stolen by poachers and kept in misery until taken into her care.”#“Also the reason her shoulder was dislocated a couple of weeks ago; *dares not mention he needed its hair; gets it for birthday as a gift*”#*doesnt know what to do absolutely flustered and loosing it but thanking mc she sent a package rather than handed it after class*#*or hed refused it or talked a way out of such a convenience*#*FAVORS MUST REPAY*#*his turn of not accepting refusals now*#“Always a pleasure to have students with high standards for discipline. Although. In her case -- someone needs to keep an eye on her.”#“We had a talk. Talks. We needed to be sure we'd pestered each other enough with 'silly questions for obvious answers' as she had put it.”#“I am up for the responsibility; her inverted sense of danger makes her jump at your presence Matilda I am so sorry I couldn't fix it in --#“-- in a few months. I truly mean an apology but neither of us should worry atm as her summer has been delegated to Mrs Sweeting.”#“I won 30 btw. Oh. Ask Dinah. Or Mirabel. I'm not disclosing until you know full details but I do wonder what were your suggestions.”#“........Thinking on it now how miserable I'd become should she chosen your nephew. Seeing is believing; she put up quite a play.”#“Until she blew everything up like an erumpent but I wouldn't say more. So.”
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What's My Age Again?
Blink-182
0:26 ━━❍───── 2:28
↻ ⊲ Ⅱ ⊳ ↺
Volume: ▁▂▃▄▅▆▇ 100%
Happy Birthday, Asshole.
#onlyposersfallinlove#blink-182#what's my age again?#sweet sounds for deaf ears#left you a voice note on snap you'll never see#so when you inevitably come back#you still can't say i missed your birthday#as much as i hate you#i still wish we were together for the important stuff#and im sick of missing them#happy birthday#fucker
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Collateral Damage [Logan Howlett]
SUMMARY: The X-men are heroes—they save the world, eradicate threats and protect both mutants and humans alike. You don't see it that way, though.
WARNINGS: one-sided e2l, fem!reader is stubborn and sassy af but it's valid, arguing, canon-level violence, scott's a dick, SMUT - 18+ only! WC: 21k - MASTERLIST
A/N: i've always wanted to write a fic with this plot, it's been on my mind for AGES. happy reading!
----
The first time you see them, it’s on your birthday.
Not being one for big, elaborate parties, you planned a quiet celebration instead—maybe a stroll through the lively city streets, followed by dinner with friends later. You had just visited your favourite store, buying a gift for yourself, and now you’re on your way back home.
The streets buzz with life as people shop, eat, and laugh, making it the perfect backdrop for a peaceful walk and some casual people-watching.
Then, out of nowhere, the ground trembles.
At first, you think it’s an earthquake—a quick jolt beneath your feet that sends a ripple of confusion through your body. But the tremor grows stronger, the ground shaking violently as everyone around you begins to panic, frantically looking around for the source, you included. And that’s when you see it.
A hulking, green monster stomping through the city streets like something out of a nightmare. It has to be at least twenty feet tall, its skin a sickly shade of green, its eyes glowing with rage. Cars bounce with each heavy footstep, leaving deep footprints in the cement in its wake.
People scream, scrambling to get out of its path, but you stand frozen, heart pounding as you try to make sense of what’s happening. In the blink of an eye, the city had been plunged into chaos. You lose track of your surroundings, too busy trying to keep your eyes on the monster headed your way, while also dodging the hoard of pedestrians running for their lives.
Until they show up.
Initially, you don’t even notice them. After all, there’s so much going on around you at this point you barely know what to do with yourself. Yet, through the dust and destruction, you see flashes of movement—figures darting toward the monster with a sense of purpose.
You don’t know who they are, but their bright blue and yellow suits make it seem like you should. At first glance, it’s hard not to feel a sense of awe. They move with such confidence, with their powers on full display for the world to see. You’ve never seen anything like it—a team of mutants using their powers in the open, fighting for what you assume is the greater good.
Maybe they can stop this!
The one first to act is a woman with white hair. She raises her arms to the sky, her eyes glowing a bright white as dark clouds swirl above, blocking out the sun. A flash of lightning slams into the monster's chest, forcing it to reel back with a thunderous roar of agony, and the crowd around you gasps, watching in wonder.
But when the lightning strikes a second time, it veers off course, crashing into the side of a nearby building. The structure groans under the impact, flames erupting from the point of contact as windows shatter, sending glass raining down onto the street below.
The collision sends you to the ground, and when you look up again, you see the power inside go out, all the lights flickering off.
Whatever awe you’d been feeling dissolves into concern, a sinking feeling settling in your chest.
Following her, a man with a glowing red visor strides forward. He’s clearly aiming to hit the monster, but the bright red beam shooting from his eyes slices through several cars in the street first, flipping them over and leaving them in smoldering wrecks. One of the blasts tears through a storefront, reducing it to rubble in a matter of seconds. More people scream and scatter, trying to escape the destruction.
From the corner of your eye, you see another mutant—a man with claws—lunge toward the monster, jumping onto cars to get closer to its head. But by using the parked cars as springboards, the weight of him causes the roof to sink in, and his claws leave deep gashes in the metal.
How heavy is this guy? Is he made of metal or something?
He’s fast, brutal, slashing at the green beast with some serious ferocity. Still, despite the attack, the monster’s strength prevails, and it easily tosses him aside, crashing into buildings, crowds—anything in the way. To your surprise, he always gets back up. And that should be good, right? They are fighting for the safety of the city.
But as debris rains down and cars are overturned, you can’t help but feel like this isn’t helping. You’re constantly dodging rubble, trying to find shelter, only for it to be destroyed seconds later. It’s like being in a war zone, and it doesn’t seem to be getting better.
And above it all, there’s a woman with red hair. She’s floating, and you watch from where you’re hiding as she lifts entire trees from their roots, hurling them at the monster in an attempt to slow it down. Except, much like her teammates, her attempt goes awry, and she misses, the trees now flying toward you.
You barely have the reflexes to dive out of the way.
Your heart races, breath coming in shallow bursts as you press yourself against a wall, trying to steady yourself. The sound of sirens blare in the distance, but it doesn’t seem like help is coming anytime soon. There’s too much going on. People are running, pushing each other aside, crying, screaming, trying to find safety.
Glancing around, you’re met with destruction—flames licking at the sidewalk, cars totaled, and building wreckage littering the streets. These mutants, while clearly powerful, are causing just as much destruction as the monster itself.
What should have been a simple takedown—a 6v1—has turned into a full-scale disaster.
And yet, they don’t stop. They don’t pause to help the people caught in the crossfire, don’t even seem to notice the damage they’re causing. They’re so focused on the monster, so focused on the fight, that they’ve lost sight of everything else.
Is this what heroism looks like? You’d been excited at first—amazed, even—thinking they were here to save the day. But now, standing in the middle of a city that’s being torn apart, you realize how wrong you were.
They don’t care. Not about the city. Not about the people.
Finally, with one last blast from the man with the visor, the monster collapses to the ground, defeated. It lets out a final roar before falling still, its massive body sprawled across the street.
The team stands over its body, their chests heaving with exertion, but they have smiles on their faces, feeling victorious. One by one, they board an aircraft, dragging the monster in with them, barely sparing a glance at the horrors they’ve caused. The white-haired woman doesn’t even bother to clear the storm clouds she summoned.
Within moments, they’re gone. You, and everyone else in the area, are left to deal with the fallout. Left to clean up their mess.
Happy birthday to me, I guess.
—
After that, you spend the next few days trying to process what had happened. You’re still in a state of shock, confusion, and disbelief, but then the media catches wind of what went down, and suddenly, it’s everywhere.
News channels replay the footage over and over, the headlines screaming about “our holy saviours” saving the day. They’re plastered across every screen, being hailed as protectors.
The X-Men.
A group of mutant superheroes, apparently. The reporters list them off one by one, like they’re celebrities you should have known about.
Storm. Cyclops. Wolverine. Jean Grey.
Mutants with powers like gods.
—
The second time you see them, you’re on vacation.
Sitting in a quaint café in the south of France, you’re enjoying a well-deserved break. The city you’re in is perfect—cobblestone streets winding through the village, vine-covered walls framing pastel-colored houses, and the scent of fresh bread drifting from nearby bakeries. It all feels like something out of a dream, the kind of peaceful retreat you’ve been desperate for after everything back home.
You order a frappé, and as you wait, you idly flip through a local newspaper, trying to see how much of your rusty high school French you can remember. It’s peaceful, quiet, exactly what you needed—until it’s not.
Movement out of the corner of your eye grabs your attention, and you glance over the edge of the newspaper, watching a group of tourists as they walk into the café. It’s not really anything odd, so you don’t think much of it—they’re dressed casually, like any group of vacationers.
Though, something about them tugs at the back of your mind, a nagging feeling that you’ve seen them before.
You lower the newspaper entirely now, staring as you try to place where you recognize them from. The tall one with the red sunglasses, the woman with the striking white hair, the man in the leather jacket... You squint, the pieces slowly falling into place.
And then it hits you.
Oh, no way.
You’re halfway around the world, in a different country, on a different continent, and somehow, they’re here. At the same café.
Shifting in your seat, you’re trying to figure out what the hell is going on, when the barista arrives with your drink. He smiles warmly at you, placing the cup down on the table with a soft “voila madame,” but before you can even thank him, there’s a blur of motion.
One of them—Wolverine, you think—lunges at the barista, grabbing him by the collar and shoving him back. The tray tips, and your frappé spills everywhere—all over the table, your newspaper, and, to your absolute horror, all over you.
“Logan, no!” you hear Storm shout, but it’s too late.
The cold drink soaks into your clothes, and you let out a startled yelp, jumping up as your chair topples over. Your clothes are ruined, your vacation ruined, and in the midst of all of this?
Wolverine—or Logan, you guess, is wrestling with the poor barista.
“What the hell?!” you shout, trying to shake off the liquid dripping down your legs. “Is this a joke?!”
No one hears you, or even acknowledges you.
The other mutants jump into action, and before you know it, the peaceful café is transformed into yet another battleground. Cyclops blasts a beam at the barista—who you now realize must be the target of whatever mission they’re on—but it misses, smashing into the wall behind you.
You’re furious, covered in a brown drink that makes it seem like you just had explosive diarrhea, and caught in yet another X-Men fiasco. All you wanted was a vacation. You don’t even know what’s happening anymore—who the barista is, what mission they’re on—but frankly, you don’t care.
This is absurd!
Without a second thought, you grab your bag and make a break for it, dodging overturned tables and debris as you make your way to the exit. You don’t bother looking back, your only thought being to get changed, and get as far away as possible.
After rounding the corner, putting some distance between yourself and the café, you pause for a moment to catch your breath. And then you hear it.
Boom.
The sound reverberates through the narrow streets, shaking the cobblestones beneath your feet. You whirl around, sticking your head out from the corner of the building, just in time to see a plume of smoke rising into the air from where the café once stood.
Your heart sinks.
They blew it up.
—
The third time you see them, it’s a really nice day outside.
It’s a week after you’ve returned home, and the weather had finally given you a break from the suffocating heat. You’re walking home from a lunch with an old friend, when your phone buzzes in your pocket. Probably said friend sending you something stupid to laugh at later.
You chuckle, already anticipating the joke, when—
BAM!
Something slams into you from the side with the force of a freight train. You’re airborne for a second, weightless, before crashing hard onto the pavement, your breath knocked right out from your lungs.
Dazed, you groan and blink up at the sky, trying to get your bearings. What the hell just hit me? Your vision swims as you sit up, shoulder throbbing from the impact. Twisting your neck to see whatever the hell that was, you immediately regret it, wincing at the sharp pain.
Great, just great.
When you finally manage to sit up, you spot the culprit.
Cyclops.
Are you fucking serious?!
His back is to you, dusting off his ugly uniform like nothing happened. You look around, and notice that the street in front you is in ruins—buildings have gaping holes where windows used to be, chunks of the road are crumbling, people covered in blood scurrying away as fast as they can.
Just when you thought it couldn’t get any worse, you catch a glimpse of the giant mechanical robots looming above, scanning for their targets. One of them must’ve thrown Cyclops into you.
You can see the others—Jean, Storm, Beast (some new guy)—flying around, saving the world. That’s codeword for: wreaking havoc, destroying your city.
Anger boils up inside you, hot and unrelenting as you struggle to your feet, rubbing your sore shoulder. But as you open your mouth, a gruff voice cuts through the air.
"Good job, dickhead. You just hurt a civilian."
Your gaze snaps toward the sound. Wolverine’s standing a few feet away, claws out, glaring at the guy who sent you flying.
“I was thrown, Logan,” he says passively. “Maybe if you kept the Sentinels off me—”
“Maybe if you didn’t stand there like a damn target, you wouldn’t get thrown!” The clawed mutant growls, taking a step closer. His whole posture is tense, like he’s barely holding himself back from tackling the other man into the ground (you would pay to have him do it). “Seriously, Summers, it’s like you want to get tossed around.”
Cyclops doesn’t even flinch. “We’ve got bigger problems than this right now,” he dismisses, not even glancing back at you to check if you’re okay.
Well, there goes the last of your patience.
"Are you kidding me?!" you shout, throwing your hands up in disbelief. They completely ignore you, too absorbed in their petty bickering to acknowledge that you’re still standing there, seething.
Before you can rip into them, something catches your eye—a Sentinel (is that what they’re called?), hovering above them, charging up a blast. Its arm is raised, energy crackling at the barrel of its cannon, aimed directly at the two distracted morons.
“Oh, for the love of—” you mutter under your breath before diving forward.
The blast hits you square in the chest, but instead of pain, all you feel is the heat of the energy surging through your body, like lightning spreading through every inch of your veins. It crackles and burns, the force building up inside you until it feels like you’re about to explode.
Then, with a deep breath, you thrust your hands forward, channeling and releasing the blast right back at the robot, blowing it apart. Metal and circuits rain down, the Sentinel crashing into the ground with a deafening thud.
Silence falls.
You’re panting, feeling the leftover energy fizzle out of your fingertips. Slowly, you turn back around, and unsurprisingly, Cyclops–or Scott, as you’ve heard in the news—and Logan are staring at you like you just walked on water. Well, the clawed one is. You can’t really see the other brown-haired man’s expression due to his visor.
“Woah, bub—”
“Oh, hell no!” You spin around fully, pointing an accusatory finger at both of them. “Neither of you get to speak! I just saved your asses because you were too busy bickering like children to notice the massive death robot about to blow you to pieces!”
Logan’s mouth quirks up, but he wisely stays silent.
“And this is exactly why I hate you people!” You continue, exasperated. “You swoop in, make a mess, destroy everything in your path, and then just leave like nothing happened! You think this is helping anyone? You think the people running for their lives right now give a damn about your little team squabbles?”
Scott doesn’t even blink. “We’re just trying to help,” he says evenly, like he’s rehearsed the line a thousand times.
“Help?” you scoff incredulously. “You only tell yourself you’re doing that to make yourself feel better. How many casualties do you think are coming out of this, hm? What’s the body count gonna be after today? Or do you not even bother counting anymore?”
His audacity makes you want to laugh. He opens his mouth to respond, but you’re not done.
"All this mess, the destroyed buildings, the people who won’t make it home tonight because you couldn’t keep your damn fight contained! You’re so focused on stopping the big bad guys that you don’t even realize how much carnage you leave behind. Who’s cleaning up after you? Who’s paying for this?! " You gesture around wildly. "News flash: the people whose lives you’re currently ruining!”
Beside him, Logan’s smirk fades, and he begins to step forward with his hands raised. “Listen, darlin’, we’re doin’ the best we can. We didn’t ask for this fight—”
"Oh, don’t give me that ‘best we can’ bullshit," you snap.
“We’re here to protect people,” Scott adds in, trying to maintain authority. “It’s not always clean, but we are making a difference—"
“Shut the fuck up! I’m not finished!” You interrupt, shaking your head. “Every day. Every damn day there’s something new.”
With the face Logan’s making, you’d think he’s going to start going in on you, but he doesn’t. Instead, he just watches, his eyes narrowing slightly as if he’s trying to figure you out. It’s unnerving, but you don’t care. You’ve had enough.
"And you," you say, turning your ire toward him, "You couldn’t have, I don’t know, used your super speed or whatever the hell you do to catch him before he crashed into me?"
His eyebrow quirks up. “Super speed?” he chuckles lowly. “Ain’t that fast. Was a little busy with the giant killer robots.”
You tilt your head back in frustration and turn on your heel. "I’m done. I don’t care what kind of mission you’re on, or how noble you think it is. If you're planning to lay waste to the city yet again, be my guest.”
Giving no time for a response, you stalk off, weaving through the wreckage of the city streets, your heart still pounding in your chest.
—
A couple weeks have passed since the last incident, and the X-Men seem to have disappeared from the headlines. You haven’t seen them or heard their whereabouts splashed across the news like you’ve gotten used to—though not by choice, of course. Whenever they do anything, the world seems to bow at their feet.
You don’t get it.
The flashy suits, the team name, the way they strut around as if they’re the Gods of the mutant race. It’s too much, too loud. They act like they’re above it all, as if their powers and heroics put them on a pedestal. Better than those who prefer to lay low, who have no choice but to blend in.
You’ve spent years hiding your powers, keeping them buried deep where no one can see. When you were younger, you didn’t have a choice. Your mutation made you a target—bullied, beaten up, pushed around for being different.
You learned quickly that being a mutant didn’t make you special. It made you vulnerable.
So, you hid. You stayed quiet, under the radar. It was safer that way.
And then here are the X-Men, parading around like their abilities make them untouchable, like they’ve forgotten what it’s like for the rest of you. It’s not that you don’t believe in helping others—you just don’t believe in the way they do it.
In your opinion, it’s all performance. From what you’ve experienced and seen up close, they always arrive with a fanfare, ready to jump into action, and do whatever they can to exterminate the threat. Yet, when the dust settles, it’s mutants like you who are left to pick up the pieces.
The ones who don’t wear brightly coloured costumes or shout about unity. You’re the ones who have to keep moving, keep surviving, without any recognition.
But it's not like you need recognition. You never have. What you need is peace.
—
You’re on the phone with your mom, trying to reassure her for the millionth time this week.
"Yeah, yeah. Don’t worry, Mom, I’m fine," you say, pacing the length of your small living room. You glance at the muted TV screen, the news still cycling through the usual mayhem. "You’ve seen the news recently, right? We’ve got the X-Men to take care of all this stuff—"
Knock. Knock.
You freeze mid-sentence, your words trailing off as the sound of someone at your door interrupts the call. Your heart skips a beat, and your voice drops. "Mom, I’ll call you back."
Barely waiting for her to reply, you end the call, staring at the door like it might explode.
A knock at this hour? Unannounced? You waver, your mind racing with possibilities.
Delivery? A neighbour? You’re not expecting anyone.
Cautiously, you make your way toward the door, hand hovering over the handle as you listen. No more knocks, just the faint hum of the outside world. You take a breath, steeling yourself as you turn the handle and crack the door open.
The tufts of hair, the thick stubble, the edge in his eyes—it’s him. Wolverine. And just as your brain registers his face, you also notice the glint of metal where his claws are already halfway out.
Instincts kick in, and before he can get a word in, you push against the door, trying to slam it shut.
Still, he’s faster.
His fist punches through the wood, and with a metallic snikt, his claws extend fully, slicing through the door as if it were made of paper. He pushes it open again, forcing it against your effort, and the sheer strength sends you stumbling back.
“What the fuck?” you gasp, eyes wide as you steady yourself. “How did you even find me?”
Stepping inside, he says, “picked up your scent and followed it,” matter-of-factly, like it’s the most normal thing in the world.
For a moment, you just stare at him, dumbfounded. “That’s… that’s actually really creepy,” you manage, still trying to process the fact that he just said that without a hint of shame.
“Can’t control it, bub,” he shrugs.
You take a step back, putting more distance between you and the man with the claws standing in your apartment. “Okay, well, you found me. Now what?”
His eyes lock onto yours. “I need you to come with me.”
“Excuse me?” You cross your arms, eyebrows shooting up in disbelief.
“You’re not safe here.”
“Oh, I’m not safe?” you snap, sarcasm dripping from your voice. “Maybe if you and your merry band of idiots didn’t keep causing world-ending disasters, I wouldn’t need to be safe!”
He doesn’t even flinch. “Sentinels are tracking you down.”
You falter. “What are you talking about?”
“You used your powers,” he states. “Killed a Sentinel. That’s all it takes for them to target you.”
Blinking, you feel anger rush to the surface, your skin tingling with rage. “I didn’t kill anyone. They’re fucking robots.”
“They don’t see it that way,” he counters. “You took one down, and now they know what you are.”
Part of you knows there’s merit in what he’s saying, but you don’t want to hear it. The last thing you want is to be dragged into some mutant-robot war. “This is ridiculous. I didn’t ask for any of this!” you hiss, glaring at him. “And now you’re telling me I’m on some kill list because I defended myself? Because I defended you?!”
His eyes flicker with something you can’t quite read, but he stays silent, watching you carefully. Your words start flying faster now, venom spilling into each one.
“I’m the one who took that thing down because you and that one-eyed bitch boy were too busy being immature! You weren’t even paying attention, and that thing almost blasted you both.” Your fingers ball into fists. "I saved both of you, and now I’m the one who has to run?"
Logan's jaw clenches, his nostrils flaring at the accusation. “We weren’t—”
“Don’t even try to deny it,” you cut him off. “If it weren’t for me, the two of you would be dead right now. And now I’m supposed to just go with you to your mansion and hide out? Like that’s going to fix th—”
You don’t get to end your rant, because he has stepped forward, and grabbed your shoulders, gripping you firmly. Not hard enough to hurt, but enough to snap your attention back to him.
“This is serious,” he spits, eyes boring into yours. “You stay here, you die.”
His words slam into you. He’s not trying to scare you—he’s telling the truth.
“You don’t get to be stubborn about this,” he continues firmly. “You think you’re pissed off now? Wait until they come crashin' through your door in the middle of the night, and you don’t have a chance to fight back.”
Wrenching yourself out of his grasp, you take a few steps back. “I just—” you begin to say, but the words feel tangled in your throat. The denial is still there, but it’s weakening, cracking. “I don’t want to run.”
“You’re not running,” he sighs, his voice softening ever so slightly. “You’re buying time. Time to fight back, time to survive. But if you stay here? There’s none of that.”
You want to argue more, want to scream at him to get away, to not drag you into his fight, but instead, you let out a long, shaky breath, your shoulders slumping. “Fine,” you breath out.
He nods, finally releasing his grip on you and stepping back. “Good. Pack up your shit. We leave in half an hour.”
Then, he walks over to your couch and plops down like he owns the place, crossing his arms as if settling in for a casual wait.
You roll your eyes, muttering under your breath. “Unbelievable.”
Ignoring him, you turn and head into your bedroom, where you start throwing clothes into a duffel bag—jeans, a couple of shirts, whatever you can grab quickly. Your movements are hurried, fuelled by a mix of frustration and the creeping anxiety gnawing at the edges of your mind. Grabbing your toiletries, you stuff them into a smaller bag, trying to focus on the task at hand instead of the fact that some random mutant tracked you down, and now you have to leave your life until you’re safe.
You peer back into the hallway, hearing the faint creak of the couch as Logan shifts around. I’m gonna kill this guy, you think to yourself.
Once everything is packed and you’ve zipped your bag, you head back into the main room, only to see said random mutant still sprawled on your couch, looking far too comfortable, with a cigar in his hand.
“Seriously?” you say, slinging your duffel over your shoulder. “Make yourself at home, why don’t you.”
He grunts in response but doesn’t move. Typical.
You glance at the clock—still a few minutes left of the half-hour he allotted you, but there’s no point in dragging it out. “I’m ready,” you say flatly, heading toward the door.
Logan stands, stretches his arms over his head, and cracks his neck like he’s waking up from a nap. “Let’s go then.”
—
The ride is tense and quiet, which suits you just fine. You’d rather not talk to him anyway. Every now and then, you let out a loud sigh, unable to hold back the annoyance you’re feeling. Each time, you feel Logan’s eyes dart toward you from the driver’s seat, but he doesn’t say anything. Well, that is, until—
“Can you shut the fuck up?” he growls, keeping his eyes on the road.
You clench your jaw, shifting in your seat. “I didn’t even say anything, jackass.”
He huffs, clearly not in the mood for an argument, but the strain between you is almost impossible to ignore. You cross your arms, staring out the window, observing the landscape shift as the drive continues.
Eventually, you can see the outline of the mansion, and you watch as it gets bigger and bigger the closer you get. Upon arrival, He pulls the car up to the front and cuts the engine. You both sit there for a moment, mute.
“Well, here we are,” he mumbles after the pause stretches on for an uncomfortable amount of time, glancing over at you.
“Great,” you say sarcastically, unbuckling your seatbelt and pushing open the car door.
Logan walks ahead without saying a word, leading the way up the grand stone steps toward the front door. You trail behind, your mood darkening with every step, glaring at the perfectly polished entrance.
The doors open before you even reach them, and you’re greeted by an older man in a wheelchair—Charles Xavier, if you remember correctly. The famous telepath. The genius behind the mutant team (some news anchor's words, not yours). His expression is kind, but you’re in such a bad mood, you don’t even bother trying to seem polite.
“Welcome,” He says with a warm smile, his eyes assessing you with an intensity that makes your skin crawl. “Logan’s told me a lot about you.”
You press your lips together in a line. “Yeah? Well, don’t get too excited.”
Logan grunts beside you. “She’s got a bit of an attitude,” he mutters to Charles, then turns to you, gesturing you to follow him. “Come on.”
Inwardly groaning, you have no choice but to follow him. Everything about this place screams “too good to be true,” and you hate it already. You’re used to keeping your head down, blending in, not being surrounded by people who wear their powers on their sleeves like some badge of honour.
As you walk through the halls, a few faces appear—other mutants, some of them kids, watching curiously as you pass by. You can feel their eyes on you, can hear the whispers already starting about the new arrival.
Charles wheels alongside you, still smiling, but there’s a glint of amusement in his eyes. “You remind me of Logan when he first joined us,” he says thoughtfully.
That stops you in your tracks.
You whip your head toward the man, giving him a piercing look. “Do not say that. We are nothing alike.”
On your other side, Logan smirks. “Not sure if I should be offended or not.”
“I’m serious.” If looks could kill, he’d be six feet under.
Chucking softly, Charles seems completely unaffected by your outburst. “You’re both a bit rough around the edges, but you’ll find your place here.”
“Yeah, sure,” you say. “Because that’s exactly what I want to do.”
Deeper into the mansion, you catch sight of the X-Men you’ve seen before: Cyclops, Storm, Jean Grey. They all turn to look at you, sizing you up. You don’t flinch—you just stare back, your expression hard.
Pulling your duffel bag higher on your shoulder, you rip your eyes away from theirs, and keep walking, following Logan down the long, quiet hallway. Finally, he stops in front of a door.
“This is your room,” he grunts, nodding toward it. “Try not to break anything.”
Choosing silence, you push the door open. Stepping inside, you expect the bare minimum—a bed, maybe a closet—but instead, you’re met with a surprisingly large space. There’s a massive bed in the center of the room, a desk by the window, and, to your surprise, a set of glass doors leading out to a balcony.
You drop your bag by the door, glancing around, trying to shake off the unease. This is way too nice for a prisoner. You walk toward the balcony doors, curious despite yourself, and when you pull them open, the cool breeze hits you immediately.
Once you’re outside, you realize something that immediately makes your stomach drop.
The balcony is shared. And right next to your side, leaning against the railing with a cigar between his fingers, is Logan.
You halt mid-motion, eyes fixed on him in stunned silence. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”
He glances over, a smirk playing on his lips as he takes a drag of his cigar. “Surprise.”
You groan, turning your back on him and walking toward the opposite edge of the balcony, trying to calm the annoyance inside you. Of all the people you could’ve been stuck beside, it had to be him. It’s not enough that he dragged you here, but now there’s a chance you’re going to have to see him every time you step outside.
“So what now?” you mutter, staring out over the mansion grounds, the manicured gardens below looking like something out of a postcard. “I’m just supposed to stay here, be a part of your little mutant club?”
Taking another slow pull on his cigar, “You’re supposed to stay alive. Everythin’ else? That’s up to you.”
“But why do you suddenly care?” you ask. “I’ve seen the way you operate. You and your team sweep in, fight your battles, and then leave everyone else in the dirt. You don’t care about the collateral damage—hell, you cause half of it.”
Logan pauses, his cigar halfway to his lips. He doesn’t answer right away, and the brief hesitation only makes your irritation spike. You press on, inching closer, voice laced with accusation.
“Why now?” you press. “Why drag me into this when you’ve never cared about anyone else in the crossfire?”
Logan finally turns to face you, exhaling a cloud of smoke before speaking, his expression hardened. “This ain’t about me ‘caring,’” he says flatly. “This is about survival. You killed a Sentinel, whether you like it or not. That puts a target on your back.”
“Yeah, you’ve made that very clear,” you bite out. “But you still haven’t answered my question. Why me? Why am I suddenly important to you?”
Logan’s eyes darken, drilling into yours. “You’re not important to me,” he says flatly. “But they won’t stop until they get you. The destruction that’ll come from that—if your stubborn ass fought back, which I know it would, by the way—would be much greater than anything we would cause.”
“Doubt that,” you snarl bitterly. You don’t linger for the sound of his response, spinning on your heel and walking back into your room, slamming the balcony door behind you.
The bed is large and you can’t deny how inviting it looks after the day you’ve had. You flop onto it face-first, letting out a long, drawn out sigh.
You’re barely able to reflect on the chaotic day you’ve had before your eyelids flutter shut, and you sink into a deep slumber, the exhaustion from everything catching up to you.
—
You’re jolted awake by a loud, aggressive knock on your bedroom door. The sound is so forceful it feels like the entire frame is rattling. You release a sound, half groan, half sigh, steeped in frustration. Your face is still buried in your pillow, and you curse whoever decided to ruin what little sleep you managed to get.
“Get up,” Logan’s gruff voice calls from the other side of the door. “We’re leaving for breakfast in ten.”
Ah yes. Of-fucking-course it's him. Who else would it be?
Dragging yourself out of bed, you throw on some clothes and make a half-hearted attempt to fix your hair before opening the door, ready to curse him, but he's already striding down the hallway, hardly bothering to check if you're following. You roll your eyes, your steps slow and begrudging as you move to follow
As you catch up, you can’t help but throw him a sideways glare. “Why are you acting like my personal bodyguard?”
“Gotta make sure you don’t do anything reckless.”
You scoff, crossing your arms as you fall into step beside him. “You don’t even know what I can do.”
Logan’s lips twitch into a lazy smirk, and you immediately want to wipe it off his face. “Exactly,” he says, his tone almost amused. “Which is why today, we’re gonna test you.”
You stop in your tracks, staring at his back. “Test me? What the hell does that mean?”
He stops too, turning to face you. “Means you’re gonna show me what you’re capable of.”
Teeth clenched, you feel the slow rise of aggravation mingling with apprehension. “I’m not some science experiment.”
“No,” he agrees, “but you’re not a regular person, either. You need to know your limits—and how to handle what’s coming.”
Groaning, you drag your hands down your face incredulously. “I don’t even know what to say back to that. All I know is that I’m hungry.”
—
The kitchen of Xavier’s mansion is bustling with activity as the two of you walk in. The rest of the team is gathered around a large table at the centre of the room, and you spot Jean, Cyclops, Storm, and a few others sitting together, chatting, but you feel no desire to join them.
Rather, you gravitate toward a smaller table by the window, hoping to get some peace while you choke down breakfast. The chair scrapes lightly as you pull it out and sit down, fully expecting to be left alone.
But to your surprise, Logan follows and plops down in the seat across from you.
You raise an eyebrow. “What are you doing?”
He shrugs and digs into his food. "Eating. You got a problem with that?"
You cast a quick look toward the large table where the rest of the team sits. It feels strange, having him eat with you, especially when the rest of his team is so obviously waiting for him to join them.
"No," you murmur, shaking your head as you return to your plate. "Just didn’t think you’d stray from the flock."
“They’re fine without me.”
You push your food around with your fork, trying to push past the heavy air of discomfort in the room. Everyone keeps glancing in your direction, and you sense their curiosity, the questions hovering in silence, but no one has the courage to ask. And honestly, you’re grateful for the space.
Just as you’re finishing up, a low voice catches your attention.
"I just don’t understand why they brought her here," Jean’s voice carries across the room, quieter than before, but still clear enough for you to hear. “She doesn’t seem like she has what it takes. It’s like they’re bringing in someone who’s—” She pauses, clearly thinking through her words. "Unstable. Weak.”
Tensing, your fork clatters onto your plate. The world around you dulls, and all you can hear is that word echoing in your head. Weak. You’ve been called a lot of things in your life, but never that.
Slowly, you push your chair back and stand up as you turn to face the table where she and the others are seated. “Say it louder, please,” you say calmly.
The chatter dies instantly, and suddenly, every set of eyes in the room finds you. Jean's face turns ashen, her eyes blown wide in shock. She wasn’t expecting you to overhear. Her mouth opens and closes, as if she’s trying to find a way to backtrack, but you know what you heard.
Before Jean can stammer out an excuse, Scott stands up, positioning himself between you and her, his jaw tight and his posture rigid. “You heard wrong,” he says sternly. “She didn’t mean anything by it.”
You take a calculated step forward, arms crossed in defiance. “Didn’t mean anything?” you repeat sarcastically. “She just called me weak. Right here. In front of everyone. You think I’m gonna let that slide?”
Scott’s jaw clenches tighter “She wasn’t trying to insult you. You’re new here. You don’t know how things work yet.”
“That’s the excuse?” you laugh dryly. “Maybe you should teach her how to keep her mouth shut instead of making assumptions about people she doesn’t know.”
If even possible, the friction between you swells, growing heavier with each passing second. Everyone in the room watches the standoff, some shifting uncomfortably in their seats, unsure of what’s going to happen next. You can feel Logan’s presence behind you, but he doesn’t interfere. He’s letting you handle this.
“You don’t belong here,” Scott states, like he’s trying to remind you of your place. “You’re not part of this team, and you sure as hell don’t understand what it takes to survive here.”
Raising an eyebrow, your lips curl into a smirk. “And what are you gonna do about it, One-eye? You gonna lecture me? Or better yet, why don’t you blast me with those laser eyes of yours? Show me how strong you are.”
His fists clench, and for a moment, you see the control slip. His visor glows red, just for a split second, as his anger spikes.
"Careful," you taunt, challenging him. "Wouldn’t want to lose control, would you? I'm sure you've never done that before."
That does it.
A beam shoots out from Scott’s visor. Fast, ferocious, and headed straight for you. There’s a collective gasp from the others, chairs scraping as people push back, shocked by the sudden escalation. But you don’t move. You stand your ground, your eyes locked onto Scott’s as the beam strikes you square in the chest.
You’re not knocked back, or worse, killed, as the energy from the blast surges into you. The energy seeps into your bones, crackling through every nerve. Your skin tingles as the power courses through you, your body absorbing every ounce of it. Once the assault is over, you raise your head, feeling your eyes and veins begin to glow with a deep, burning red.
Jean’s hand flies to her mouth, her eyes wide in disbelief.
Unfortunately for you, you don't get the chance to blow him to pieces, because Logan flies forward and grabs your arm, pulling you out of the room. Nobody else moves—too stunned—as he drags you into the hallway. You blink your eyes, the glow fading, but you can feel the residual energy from Scott’s blast still buzzing under your skin.
Both out of sight, he finally releases you.
You glare at him, still rattled from the confrontation. “What the hell? Why'd you interfere?”
He just shrugs, completely unfazed. “You handled yourself enough. Now we know what you can do. Follow me.”
“Follow you where?” you ask.
He motions down the hallway. “Danger Room. We’re gonna push those limits a little further.”
Gawking at him for a second, it takes a moment, but then you smirk. You want to know just how far your powers can go.
—
“Fuck!” you curse as you’re flung backward, your body slamming against a stone wall. Your back hits hard, knocking the wind out of you as the simulated-Sentinel hurls a car in your direction. The screech of metal fills the air as the vehicle crashes just mere inches from where you were standing moments ago.
Rubble showers from above, the robot in front of you towering menacingly. Raising its arm, another blast begins charging in its palm, ready to incinerate you.
You scramble to your feet, heart pounding in your chest as you sprint away, ducking and weaving between the wreckage of cars and crumbling buildings that make up the simulated cityscape. The Sentinel fires again, the blast narrowly missing as you dodge behind an overturned truck. Your breaths come in ragged gasps, every muscle screaming in protest.
I can’t keep this up.
Another blast lights up the area around you, and you dive out of the way, the heat of the attack singeing your skin. You’re quick, but not quick enough to outrun the onslaught from this machine.
Then it hits you—you don’t have to outrun it.
You remember the blast from way back, how your body absorbed the energy, and how in the dining hall, you took on Scott’s beam like it was nothing. You can do it again. You can take its power and turn it back on itself.
Gritting your teeth, you stop running. The air buzzes with electricity, the earth trembling beneath you as the next shot hurtles your way.
It hammers into your chest, and once again, your body is filled with energy. In an instant, you leap into the air, propelled by the newfound strength coursing through your body, and the ground disappears beneath you as you soar upward.
At the peak of your jump, you clench your fist, channeling all that power into one focused point. Then, you bring your fist down on the Sentinel’s head, the impact echoing through the simulation as your punch connects, and the robot’s head shatters under the blow, metal fragments flying in every direction as its massive body crumples to the ground.
Sparks shoot out of its severed neck, and with a final groan of machinery, the robot collapses into a heap of broken parts at your feet.
“Good work,” Logan’s voice crackles over the comms, far too calm for what you’ve just been through. “Let’s see how you handle another.”
There’s no time for more than a muttered curse under your breath, because another Sentinel is dropped into the simulation. This one’s faster, more agile, and doesn’t waste time by charging up blasts.
It exists solely to hunt you down.
“Cut me some slack,” you groan, half out of breath as you duck behind the ruins of a building. Your lungs burn as you try to breathe, adrenaline coursing through you like a wildfire.
This one isn’t like the last. It’s not using energy blasts—it’s fast, agile, and persistent. It rushes toward you, its massive hands swiping through the air, tearing through the simulated city with ease.
Grinding your teeth, a wave of exasperation takes over. This fight is harder, the machine barely giving you a chance to react, and your body is already starting to wear down. Your mind races, desperate for a solution as you sidestep its attacks, trying to stay one step ahead. You feel cornered, trapped.
The frustration builds, growing into something more, and before you realize it, that frustration becomes fuel. It ignites inside you, your own emotions transforming into energy, pushing past the limits you didn’t know you had.
Your veins pulse, your eyes glowing white this time, not from absorbed power but from something deeper—your own anger, your own strength. The energy bubbles inside you, filling every cell of your body until you can’t hold it back anymore.
With a scream, you release it, propelling a massive ball of crackling energy hurling toward the Sentinel. The impact is immediate, ripping through the metal and bursting into a brilliant, blinding light. It sends shockwave through the entire simulation, the machine imploding, its parts scattering across the battlefield.
And when the light fades, the Sentinel is gone—nothing more than a smouldering heap of twisted metal.
You stand there, chest heaving, the glow in your eyes slowly fading as the last traces of energy drain from your body. Your knees buckle, and before you know it, you crumble to the ground, utterly exhausted.
The simulation flickers for a moment, then abruptly shuts off, the room returning to its normal, metallic walls as the fake cityscape disappears. You’re still on the floor, gasping for breath, when Logan steps into view, arms crossed as he peers down at you with a pleased grin.
“Well,” he says, voice calm, “that wasn’t too bad.”
You shoot him a glare from the ground, too tired to move. “You… are such… an asshole.”
He chuckles, clearly enjoying himself. “Get up. We’re just getting started.”
—
He was right. You were just getting started.
The thought gnaws at you as you trudge alongside Logan, heading back to your room to clean up before dinner. Every muscle in your body aches, and you can already feel the soreness creeping in, promising a week of pain. You’re starting to suspect this is Logan’s way of getting back at you for all the snark and attitude you’ve thrown his way, but damn, is it painful. You don’t even want to think about how much worse you’re going to feel in the morning.
You feel like a zombie, dragging your feet, barely able to keep your eyes open. Your limbs feel heavy, like they’re made of lead, and each step invites fresh wave of exhaustion through your body. The man with you, of course, seems perfectly fine. He walks a few steps ahead of you, not even winded from the grueling day of combat drills, sparring, and whatever else he thought up to make sure you were put through the wringer.
“Maybe I should be a little nicer to you,” you rationalize, but who are you kidding.
With a terse grunt, he acknowledges you by tilting his head back. “You’ll live.”
You roll your eyes, though it’s half-hearted at best. You don’t even have the energy to be annoyed right now.
Upon reaching your room, you feel like you could collapse right then and there. You mumble something vaguely resembling ‘see you later’ to Logan before slipping inside, the door clicking shut behind you.
The first thing you do is toss your bag onto the floor, not caring where it lands, and head straight for the bathroom. You peel off your sweaty, dirt-covered clothes and step into the shower, letting the hot water wash away the grime of the day.
After that quick, blissful shower, you drag yourself out, towel off, and pull on the first comfortable clothes you can find. Your bed is calling to you, and it doesn’t take long for you to lie down on it. The softness of the mattress beneath you is heaven, and you think you might just fall asleep right there and take a small nap before heading to eat.
But then, out of the corner of your eye, you notice the light pouring in through the balcony doors. The warm, golden glow of the setting sun catches your attention, and despite how drained you are, you find yourself turning to look.
What you see is breathtaking. Shades of pink, orange, and deep purple.
It’s too beautiful to ignore.
Groaning again, you force yourself to sit up, rubbing your eyes. You can’t help it. Something about the sight draws you in, and before you know it, you’re standing and heading toward the balcony. You slide the door open and step outside, the evening breeze washing over you as you lean against the railing, taking in the view.
A few minutes pass, the world around you quiet except for the gentle rustling of the leaves in the wind. The sound of Logan’s door sliding breaks your focus. You glance over just as he steps out onto his side of the shared balcony, wearing nothing but a white tank top and jeans.
Saying nothing, he steps beside you at the railing, resting against it as his eyes scan the horizon.
You sneak a look at him out of the corner of your eye, trying not to make it obvious. His arms are crossed over the railing, and it’s almst impossible not to notice the way the tank top lets you see his biceps, the muscles in his arms strong from the day’s activity. You are a woman, after all.
He looks relaxed. His stubble catches the last bits of the sunlight, and as your gaze travels upward, you notice something you hadn’t bothered to see before.
The crinkles at the sides of his eyes. They’re faint, barely there, but in this light, they’re more visible, adding something unexpectedly... soft to his otherwise intimidating appearance.
Cute, you think absentmindedly, then pause.
What the fuck?
You snap your gaze back to the sunset, feeling a sudden surge of embarrassment creeping up your neck. You just spent the entire day getting your ass handed to you by this man, and now you’re here checking out his arms? His arms? And thinking the crinkles around his eyes are cute? Suppressing a groan, you want to slap yourself for even entertaining the thought.
Nope. Absolutely not. You’re not going down that road.
Taking a deep breath, you try to bring your attention back to the sunset. The reason you went outside to begin with. You have no idea why you’re suddenly noticing these things about him—probably exhaustion making your brain short-circuit.
Yup. That’s it.
He shifts slightly beside you, breaking the silence. “Nice view"
You nod, swallowing down the weird feelings swirling in your head. “Yeah,” you mumble, not trusting yourself to say anything more without sounding ridiculous.
The two of you stand there for a few more minutes, watching as the last rays of the sun disappear, the sky dimming into deep purples and blues. But the minute your thoughts start to drift back to him, you straighten up, clapping your hands together and quickly turning on your heel to head back inside.
“Well, I’m done,” you say abruptly. “I’m gonna crash.”
Logan doesn’t move, but you can feel his eyes following you as you slide the door closed behind you, your mind still reeling from whatever the hell that was.
Collapsing back onto your bed, you pull the covers up to your chin, determined to forget about the whole thing.
—
A few hours later, when it’s dark out, you finally wake up. The room is dim, and for a moment, you just lie there, blinking at the ceiling. As you start to roll over, something catches your attention—a smell.
It's warm, savoury. Your stomach growls almost immediately, making you realize with a start that you slept through dinner.
Groggily, you sit up, rubbing your eyes, and that’s when you spot it—a tray of food sitting on the desk in your room. You can make out the outline of a warm meal: some kind of stew, a couple of bread rolls, and what looks like a glass of water. Your stomach growls again, louder this time, as you climb out of bed and shuffle toward the desk, turning on the light.
Next to the tray, there’s a small note:
Figured you’d be too tired to get dinner. Eat up.
– L
You stare at the note. Logan? Bringing you food? It doesn’t exactly fit with the version of him you’ve been dealing with all day, but then again, there seems to be a lot about him that doesn’t quite fit the mold you expected.
Too hungry to keep thinking and not eat, you set the note down and grab the spoon, dipping it into the stew. The first bite warms you from the inside out, and you let out an involuntary sigh of relief.
Surprisingly flavourful—rich and nourishing, it’s the perfect remedy for the exhausting day behind you
Still, you can’t help your eyes from wandering back to the note. Maybe it really is the fatigue messing with your head again, making you chalk it up to be something it’s not.
—
The next morning, you're not woken up by banging on your door, which is a relief. You stretch, the soreness still lingering but not nearly as bad as you expected. After freshening up and pulling on some clothes, you step into the hallway, and unexpectedly, Logan is already waiting for you.
He’s leaning against the wall, arms crossed, and you blink at him, still waking up, unsure why he’s there. “Uh... morning?” you get out, albeit you can’t hide the confusion in your tone.
A short nod in greeting. “Morning. Ready for breakfast?”
You hesitate for a moment, then decide to take the plunge. “Yeah I am, but…um, thanks for the food last night, it was good.” you say quietly, almost embarrassed to admit it.
The gesture had caught you off guard, and though you don’t want to make a fuss, it’s worth noting
“Don’t mention it,” he shrugs casually.
Nodding in understanding, you’re ready to move on when he adds, almost offhandedly, “Y’know, you’re actually kinda pretty when you’re asleep. Not being a little shit helps.”
You freeze mid-step, your mind short-circuiting for a moment as you process the words that just left his lips.
Flustered and irritated all at once, you glare at him. “Excuse me?”
Logan smirks, the corners of his mouth twitching as he starts walking down the hall toward the kitchen. “You heard me.”
Your face heats up. “I am not a little shit,” you yelp, quickening your pace to catch up to him.
“Could’ve fooled me,” he says, gazing at you from over his shoulder. You open your mouth to fire back, but the smug look in his eyes makes you hesitate.
He’s messing with you on purpose.
Asshole, you think, fuming but trying to ignore the way your stomach flipped when he called you pretty.
—
The kitchen goes silent the moment you and Logan step through the door, a noticeable difference from yesterday. All eyes are locked on you, the pressure in the room almost solid, begging to be cut through.
Students and X-Men alike are watching, probably expecting some kind of replay of the day prior's events, but you pay them no mind, keeping your eyes straight ahead and making a beeline for a table at the back.
You drop into a seat, picking up a piece of toast and acting like the room isn’t on high alert. Logan joins you again without a word, sitting across from you and digging into his food. He doesn’t even glance at the others, as if the room full of curious onlookers doesn’t exist.
The only sounds are the clink of silverware and voices slowly picking up again as people realize nothing dramatic is about to happen.
Chewing, you glance at the man across from you, still quietly working through his meal. You swallow, then clear your throat. “So... what’s the plan for today?”
He looks up from his plate. “Charles wants to see you this morning.”
You frown, unsure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing. “Why? Did I break something without knowing it?”
He snorts, shaking his head. “No, you’re not in trouble, smartass. He’s just gonna fill you in on some things. Mainly the Sentinels.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. You need to know what you’re up against, what we’re all dealing with. He’ll catch you up to speed.”
“Great,” you mutter. “More bad news.”
The clawed mutant leans back in his chair, watching you for a moment before speaking again. “Look, it’s not gonna be fun, but you need to know. Better to hear it from him than from me.”
“I’ll take that as your way of saying ‘good luck,” you breathe out.
He smirks. “You’re gonna need it.”
Logan finishes his meal and stands up, leaving his empty plate behind. “I’ll drop you off at Charles’s office. You’ll be with him for the morning.”
You follow suit, pushing away your half-eaten plate. “Fantastic,” you mumble sarcastically, but at the same time, you know this is necessary. After all, the threat you’re dealing with is real, and being ignorant about it won’t do you any good.
—
“So, how can they be stopped?”
You ask the question before you even sit down. Charles is already waiting for you in his office, his hands folded neatly on the desk, his gaze calm and soft.
He takes a measured breath, glancing toward the window for a moment before responding. “Stopping the Sentinels is... complicated. They’ve grown more advanced than we ever anticipated.”
“I gathered that.”
“They are highly adaptive machines,” he continues. “Designed to hunt and neutralize mutants, they learn from every encounter. They absorb information, adjust tactics, and over time, they become more effective.”
His words make you squirm with discomfort, and you glance around the room, trying to distract yourself from the knot forming in your stomach.
“And now I’m one of their targets,” you say quietly, more to yourself than to him.
Leaning forward slightly, he says, “Yes. They’ve already locked onto you because of your encounter with them. They don’t differentiate between self-defence and aggression. They see you as a target, simply because you fought back.”
You exhale sharply. “So, what’s your plan?”
Charles meets your gaze. “There is a command center—a hub that controls their network. If we can locate it and destroy it, we believe it will disrupt the entire Sentinel operation. Without the command structure, the Sentinels will become non-functional.”
You stare for a beat, mentally piecing together the details. “You believe?”
“It’s our best theory,” he says evenly. “We’ve been gathering intel for some time now. And we’re planning a mission. A final push to put an end to this threat once and for all.”
The words linger, thick and weighty, in the space between you, You can sense where this is going. Your fingers drum against your arm, a nervous habit you can’t seem to shake.
“You want me to be a part of it.”
He remains unfazed. “I believe you have an ability that could be crucial to the mission. You’ve already demonstrated your capability against the Sentinels in training yesterday, and in real life.”
A bitter scoff escapes your lips before you can stifle it. “Yeah, but I’m not one of you. I don’t want to be part of some... grand battle. That’s not me.”
Watching you closely, his gaze is soft with comprehension. “I understand your reluctance,” he says gently. “But running, hiding... it won’t change the fact that they will find you. Fighting may not have been your choice, but now it is your reality.”
Standing, you begin to pace the room. “This is exactly the problem I have with your team,” you say, stopping near the window, staring out at the garden. “We hardly know eachother, yet you want me to be part of some mission that could very well be catastophic. It’s like you don’t care about anything except the big picture.”
Charles’s expression doesn’t change. He definitely expected this. “We aren’t perfect,” he admits, “and our battles have left scars. But this is about survival. For all of us. For you.”
Turning back to face him, you narrow your eyes. “And if I say no?”
“I won’t force you,” His voice is understanding. “The choice is yours. But know that the Sentinels will not stop. You can avoid the fight for as long as you like, but eventually, it will come to you.”
It’s as if you're stuck, with nowhere to turn, cornered by a reality you didn’t want any part of. Avoiding it doesn’t seem like an option anymore, but fighting alongside the X-Men feels like betraying everything you’ve tried to distance yourself from.
Sighing, “I’ll think about it.”
—
When you get back to your room, the first thing you do is swing open your balcony door and step outside. The afternoon sun comes over you like a blanket, warming you up, and relieving some of the strain in your muscles. Logan is out on the balcony too, leaning against the railing, a cigar lit between his fingers. It’s a sight you think you should get used to.
His eyes flick to you when you approach, but he doesn’t say anything at first. Without a word, he holds the roll of tobacco out toward you, as if he knows exactly what’s on your mind.
You pause briefly, for just a second before taking it from him. The rich, earthy taste of the cigar fills your mouth as you inhale deeply, the smoke heavy and warm in your lungs. There’s something grounding about it, even though the burn is rough against your throat. You let out a slow exhale, watching the smoke curl into the night air as you lean next to him against the railing.
“How’d it go?” he asks gruffly.
“He wants me to join you guys on the mission.”
At first, Logan doesn’t react, then, he just takes the cigar back, puffing on it and blowing a cloud of smoke into the air. “What do you want to do?”
It’s the same question that’s been clawing at your insides since you left Charles’s office. What do you want? It feels like the answer should be simple, but it’s anything but.
“I don’t know,” you confess quietly. “I want to get rid of the threat and go back to my normal life, but if I do, then I'd just become the very thing I'm against, right? I can’t join you guys, that’s not who I am.”
He hums softly.
Shifting a bit, you try to find the words to explain the knot of irritation tangled inside you. “I get it, you know? I get why you guys do what you do. Someone has to. But the way you do it—so carefree about everything. It’s like the destruction, the people, the lives caught in the midst of everything—it doesn’t even phase you.”
“We don’t do it carefree,” he says lowly. Inhaling into the cigar once more, the tip glowing red. “But sometimes, you gotta make a choice between bad and worse. People get hurt. But if we don’t stop the threats, a lot more people are gonna die.”
You bite the inside of your cheek, feeling the tension coil tighter in your chest. “And that’s what I hate about it.”
Flicking the ash from the end of his cigar, his eyes are distant, lost in thought momentarily before he responds. “I’m not gonna lie to you and say it’s easy. It ain’t. We all carry the weight of the things we’ve done—the things we couldn’t stop. But if not us, then who?”
“That’s an impossible decision,” you say. There’s no way you can go into this fight, knowing how much of a toll it’s going to take on everything. The fight itself is such a small piece to the puzzle.
Logan leans his elbows on the railing. “You think I wanted this?” he asks, his voice low, almost like he’s talking to himself. “I was just like you. Didn’t want nothin’ to do with the team or their battles.”
The comparison makes you grimace. “Great. That’s exactly what I want to hear.”
He chuckles, the sound rough but not unkind. “I’m serious, bub. For years, I didn’t want to be part of this... circus. Figured I’d be better off on my own, that I was above it all.”
You quirk a brow. “Then what changed?”
“It’s not like a switch flipped,” he replies, a bit quieter. “I just realized that fighting alone is harder than fighting with a team. The X-Men... they gave me somethin’. A place. Belonging. Doesn’t mean I agree with everything they do, but it’s better than wanderin’.”
That makes you scoff. “Yeah, well, you heard it yourself. Scott said I don’t belong here. Jean thinks I’m weak. Doesn’t exactly scream ‘welcome to the team,’ does it?”
His brow furrows, his eyes narrowing, as he straightens and looks at you. “Scott talks too much, and Jean—she’s cautious. Doesn’t mean she’s right.”
“Doesn’t mean she’s wrong either,” you mumble. “They don’t trust me.”
“They didn’t trust me when I first joined either, but you get better. You learn.”
“I don’t want to be like you,” you hiss before you can stop yourself, and you immediately regret the heat in your words.
He doesn’t look offended—just tired. “Didn’t say you should,” he starts. “But you can’t keep shunnin’ us.”
“So what do I do now?”
Taking one last drag of his cigar before flicking it over the balcony railing, Logan watches the embers fall before he speaks. “The mission’s in a week. You’ve got that long to figure it out.”
He turns to leave, but before he goes, he glimpses at you from over his shoulder. “This battle, it’s inevitable. Question is—how do you want to face it?”
—
You’ve never been so conflicted. This choice–to join, or not to join—is probably the hardest decision you’ve had to make in your entire life. You have seen first hand what happens when the X-men decide to stop a threat. What innocent people have to go through to rebuild their lives from the ground up. Both literally and figuratively.
And to then become someone who causes that pain? It feels like betrayal. Like going against yourself—your morals.
But then there’s the other side of it—the part of you that knows sitting here, doing nothing, isn’t right either. You know you have the strength to fight back. You have the power to help. And doing nothing… doesn’t that make you just as bad? If you have the ability to stop something, to protect people, and you don’t—what does that make you?
It’s a lose-lose situation. The X-Men don’t even want you there—aside from Logan and Charles. You can see it in the way their eyes follow you wherever you go, untrusting. They’ve made their opinion on you clear.
You lower your head into your hands, stressed. You can’t join a team that doesn’t want you, but sitting on the sidelines when you could be fighting—that makes you feel like a coward. And maybe even worse—a bad person.
Finally, with a deep breath, you come to a decision. It’s not perfect, and it sure as hell doesn’t feel good, but it’s the only choice you can make right now. You’ll join them—for this mission only.
You’ll help take down the Sentinels, and then, when it’s done, you’ll leave. You’ll go back to your life, maybe you can find a middle ground, where you’re not one of them, but you’re no longer hiding from the mutant part of yourself.
If something happens, if you do something you regret, then you'll just have to live with it.
—
In the afternoon, you don’t do much. You were supposed to be training with Logan, but Charles had called him into a quick meeting, leaving you to wander the halls aimlessly.
Rounding a corner, you stop short when you see the rest of the team—Scott, Jean, Ororo, and Hank—talking near a meeting room. They’re deep in conversation, but as soon as you come into view, their attention shifts toward you.
Your stomach tightens, and for a brief second, you consider just turning around and walking in the other direction. But it’s too late; they’ve already seen you.
Jean’s eyes meet yours, and her expression flickers with something that looks like discomfort before she quickly smooths it over. “Hey,” she says carefully. “I just wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday. I didn’t mean to make you feel like you didn’t belong.”
Her tone is polite, but distant. It’s clear this apology isn’t driven by genuine remorse—it’s more about smoothing over the awkwardness from yesterday’s standoff. You can feel that. You see the way she looks at you, not quite meeting your eyes, and you know this is just a formality for her.
Still, you’re not looking to start more drama, and you don’t want to engage in any more confrontations, especially when you’re already planning to leave. You nod, keeping your expression neutral. “It’s fine. Let’s just move on.”
Behind her, you catch a glimpse of Scott, his arms crossed. Even though you can’t see his eyes, it’s obvious he’s glaring at you.
Ororo steps forward, her hand finding your arm, and the touch is gentle, reassuring. “Joining the team isn’t easy,” she says kindly. “But we’ve all faced our own challenges. If you ever need someone to talk to, or help with anything, I’m here.”
“You’ve got potential,” Hank chips in from beside her. “It takes time to settle in, but I’m sure you’ll find your place.”
His words are well-meaning, and you can see that he believes what he’s saying. But what they don’t know is that you’ve already made up your mind. You’re not staying any longer than you have to.
You don’t plan on finding your place here because, frankly, you don’t believe there is one for you. Not with Scott’s distrust, Jean’s cautious distance, and the way you know you can’t be part of a team that doesn’t care about anything but themselves. You keep your thoughts to yourself, pressing your lips into a thin smile instead.
“Yeah,” you say vaguely, not wanting to ruin the moment. “Thanks.”
“I guess we’ll all see soon enough,” Your eyes snap to Scott, who has finally decided to break his silence. His voice is cold, but you can feel and edge to it, one that’s trying to provoke you.
You meet his gaze—or at least the visor—and feel your jaw tighten. “Guess so,” you reply, matching his tone. Turning, you walk away, finding another place to lounge until Logan is free.
—
The mansion’s library is massive, filled with towering shelves and the scent of old books. It’s quieter here, the kind of silence you can sink into, and after the awkward run-in with the rest of the team, it feels like the perfect place to retreat. You find a comfortable armchair tucked into a corner, grab a random book off the shelf—some old novel you’ve never heard of—and settle in.
For a while, you manage to lose yourself in the pages. The story isn’t particularly gripping, but it’s enough to take your mind off of things. But then, a shadow falls over you, covering the words in a dark grey haze.
“Hey, bub.”
You blink, looking up to find Logan standing over you. “What?” you ask, annoyed at being interrupted but also not surprised. It’s Logan, after all.
“You’ve been hiding in here long enough,” he says, raising an eyebrow. “Come on, time to head back.”
Rolling your eyes you snap the book shut, dropping it onto the table beside you. “I wasn’t hiding, I was reading,” you shoot back, standing up and stretching out your legs. “There’s a difference, y’know.”
“Sure there is,” he huffs, clearly not buying it. “Let’s go.”
As you reach the hallway where your rooms are, Logan pauses, glancing toward his door. “You wanna come in for a bit? Talk?”
You’re a little bit taken aback. You didn’t peg him as the "sit down and talk" type, but he seems genuine. Or maybe he wants to keep you awake for dinner this time. Either way, you nod. “Sure.”
Inside his room, it’s about what you’d expect—minimalist, practical, with a few personal touches. A bed that looks like it’s seen better days, a couple of old books, and the scent of cigars lingering in the air. Logan sits down on the bed, leaning back against the headboard, and gestures for you to join him.
There’s a moment where you’re just standing there, staring, but then you flop down beside him, sitting cross-legged at the edge of the bed. For a few beats, there’s silence. Logan pulls out a cigar but doesn’t light it, just turns it between his fingers.
“I’ve decided,” you say finally, breaking the quiet. “I’ll go on the mission.”
He doesn’t respond, his eyes flicking to yours, waiting for you to continue.
“But,” you add, crossing your arms over your chest, “I’m not promising to stay after. This doesn’t mean I’m all in on your little X-Men gig.”
He grunts, a half-smirk playing at the corner of his mouth. “Knew you’d say that.”
Your brows pinch together your, lips pulling into a frown. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“Means you’re stubborn as hell,” he teases.“Always gotta fight against the grain, even when you know what’s best for you.”
Sighing, you turn your head to look at him fully. “I truly believe you are the only person who actually believes that.”
He chuckles softly but doesn’t argue. “Charles gave me more details about the mission.”
That catches your attention, and you sit up a little straighter. “Yeah? Where are we going?”
Logan hesitates for a moment, as if choosing his words carefully. “It’s... in the city.”
“The city? What city?”
“New York.”
Your heart drops. “New York?” You repeat, your voice rising in disbelief.
Giving you a slow nod, it’s like he's gauging your reaction. “The Sentinels’ command centre is located in some high-security facility downtown.”
You push yourself up off the bed, pacing across the room. “So, what, we are just going to storm in? Into one of the most populated cities in the world? Do you realize how many people could get caught in the middle of that?”
He stands up after you, but he doesn’t try to stop your pacing. “We’ve fought in cities before. We know what we’re doing.”
You whip around to face him. “Yeah, you’ve fought in cities before, and destroyed them! Some places are still rebuilding, and it’s been years!”
“I get it, alright?” He says, taking a step closer to you. “It’s not perfect. But if we don’t stop the Sentinels now, it’ll be a hell of a lot worse than a few broken buildings.”
“‘A few broken buildings’?” you echo. “What about the casualties that’ll come from it? We’re talking about innocent lives here, Logan!”
He sighs, rubbing the back of his neck, clearly trying to keep his temper in check. “I know that! You think I don’t know what’s at stake? But we don’t have another option. We need to hit them where it counts, and that’s in the middle of the damn city.”
“There has to be a better way,” you plead. "Can't we try and evacuate everyone beforehand?"
"No," he says remorsefully. "If we do that, the Sentinels will catch on. It's unavoidable."
“I can't accept that," you say.
Logan’s eyes meet yours, and for the first time, there’s a flash of something more vulnerable in his gaze. “I’ll talk to the team. I’ll make sure we go in smart. We’ll try our best to keep people safe. I promise you that.”
You stop pacing, your frustration still simmering but tempered by his words. It’s not exactly the reassurance you were hoping for, but the sincerity in his voice gets to you.
“And what if you can’t?” you challenge quietly.
His face softens just a bit, and he steps closer. “We deal with it, and we’ll do everything we can to make it right.”
He watches you, his eyes searching yours. “Look, I get why you’re pissed. I’d be too if I were you," he continues. "But we don’t have time to sit around debating. I’ll do what I can to keep it from getting ugly. That’s the best I can offer.”
Letting out a heavy sigh, you know there’s no way around it. “Fine. Just... make sure the team knows. No reckless destruction, alright?”
Logan’s lips curve into a small smirk, but there’s an underlying tenderness to it. “I promise.”
—
The last few days before the the mission zip by in a flash. Each day, your muscles ache, and exhaustion clings to you like a second skin. You spend most of your time either training or collapsed in your room, too tired to do much else.
Except one afternoon, you sit in on a lecture, because it turns out, not only is Logan a huge pain in the ass, he’s also a professor.
Curiosity got the better of you, you’d say. The topic—mutant biology—sounds interesting enough, and you’ve heard from some of the students within the hallways that his classes are, well, something. So, naturally, you had to see it for yourself.
You slip into the lecture hall just as Logan starts speaking. He’s standing at the front of the room, pointing to some diagram on the chalkboard. The students around you are already scribbling notes, staring at him with wide-eyed fascination—or fear, perhaps. He has that effect on people.
Finding a seat in the back, you hurry over, trying to keep quiet, not wanting to interrupt. But the second you sit down, you feel Logan’s eyes on you, his voice pausing for just a moment. You look up, catching his gaze.
“Well, well, look who decided to join us,” he says, loud enough for the entire room to hear.
“Just here to observe, don’t mind me,” you huff, sinking back into the seat.
The lecture goes on, and to your surprise, Logan’s actually a decent teacher. He explains complex concepts with clarity, not that you’d actually tell him that. It’s quite interesting, if you’re being honest.
You lean back in your chair, listening, but you’re not exactly paying close attention. That is, until he stops the lesson to single you out. “Hey, you in the back,” he says. “Since you’re just ‘observing,’ how about answering a question?”
“Me?” You blink, caught off guard.
“Yeah, you,” he confirms, a faint smirk tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You’ve been sittin’ there long enough. Time to show the class what you’ve learned.”
“I wasn’t exactly paying attention,” you respond tightly, gritting your teeth together, holding yourself back from a few choice words.
The class falls silent, the students watching the exchange with wide eyes. You can practically feel their amusement radiating from them as Logan raises an eyebrow.
“That’s obvious,” he deadpans, eliciting a few snickers from the front row. “So, maybe you’ll start now. Can you explain the connection between mutation and enhanced physical abilities?”
Staring back at him blankly, you fold your arms across your chest. “Not my area of expertise, Professor Wolverine.”
He doesn’t seem fazed as the room erupts into quiet laughter. A small sigh, "if you’re gonna sit in on my class, you could at least try to learn something.”
“No thanks.”
It’s obvious that this little back-and-forth is amusing to the class. If you were anyone else, he probably would have kicked you out by now. One of the students leans toward another and whispers something, and you catch the way their eyes dart between you and the professor.
“Alright, enough,” Logan says, trying to regroup the class, turning back to the chalkboard. “We’ve got a lot to cover, and some of us actually want to learn.” He casts you a sideways glance, and you can’t help but scoff.
When the lecture ends, the students file out quickly, but not without a few lingering glances in your direction. You’re making your way to the door when Logan grabs your arm, preventing you from moving. “You should’ve just answered the damn question,” he mutters.
“I didn’t know the answer,” you shoot back, shifting up to face him. “And I didn’t come here to get grilled in front of your students.”
He grunts, his expression softening just a bit. “Just tryin’ to get you to pay attention, is all.”
Before you can respond, you catch a flicker of movement in Logan’s gaze, his eyes darting briefly down to your lips. The shift is so subtle, so minute, but also so there.
Where did that come from?
Clearing your throat, you look away, suddenly unable to look him in the eyes. “Yeah, well, maybe ask one of your actual students next time.”
He chuckles under his breath. “Not as fun.”
—
During this time, you occasionally explore the mansion, but by the time evening rolls around, you’re usually too wiped out to care. Logan’s a beast in the training room, and with no real combat experience of your own, you’re left scrambling just to keep up.
However, on the last day before the assignment, something finally clicks.
You’re in the middle of a sparring match, circling each other, both of you drenched in sweat. Logan’s eyes are sharp, watching your every move, as if he’s waiting for you to slip up. His smirk is just as infuriating as ever, like he knows exactly how this will end.
“Gonna stand there all day, or you actually planning to make a move?” he taunts, dodging as you swing at him.
You grit your teeth, refusing to let him get in your head. You’re tired—completely worn out—but you push through how depleted you feel, focusing on his movements. He feints to the left, and you react on instinct, dodging his punch and sweeping your leg low.
Before you know it, Logan’s on the ground.
Quickly, you scramble to straddle him and hold him down. You did it—you actually got him!
Your breath comes in ragged gasps as you look down at him. Beneath you, his chest rises and falls, and his eyes meet yours. His gaze drifts lower, and you notice his fingers twitching at his sides, like he's fighting some internal battle.
When his eyes travel up to yours again, something in his expression makes you swallow hard and panic.
"Hell no!" you blurt out, breaking the moment with a sudden yelp. You scramble off of him, putting some much-needed distance between you.
He sits up, wiping a bit of sweat from his brow, his features unreadable. Then, as if nothing just happened, he smirks. “You finally got me. Took you long enough.”
You huff, still trying to shake off the weird atmosphere. “Yeah, don’t get too comfortable. Next time won’t take as long.”
Chuckling, he gets up to his feet and dusts himself off. He glances down at his watch, then back at you. “Look at that. It’s dinner time. Last meal before the mission.”
You wrinkle your nose. “I’m not really in the mood. Think I’ll just grab something later.”
He crosses his arms, giving you a look. “You can’t avoid them forever.”
“I’m not avoiding anyone,” you protest, though you know it sounds weak. “I just... don’t feel like sitting around making small talk, especially before... you know, tomorrow.”
He lets out a sigh, stepping closer. “Look, it’s the last night before everything kicks off. You should join us—one last meal, then you can go back to brooding in your room if you want.”
“I don’t brood,” you glare.
“Right,” he says, even though you know he’s not actually agreeing. “You gonna come or do I need to drag you?”
“You wouldn’t.”
Logan raises an eyebrow, like he’s daring you to test him. You sigh, knowing you’re not going to win this one.
“Fine,” you grumble, wiping the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand. “But I’m not talking to Scott.”
His grin widens, and he gestures for you to follow him.
—
So, here you are, sitting at the dining table for the first time with the rest of the team. It feels weird, almost surreal, to be part of this group—especially when you’re not even sure you want to be.
You idly prod your meal, feeling out of place. It isn’t long before Hank turns to you with a curious smile. “So, are you feeling ready for tomorrow?”
Just as you draw breath to speak, Scott's voice interrupts, cold and cutting. “She’s going to be a liability.”
Your fork halts mid-motion, and in an instant, the tension that had been fading throughout the week comes back full throttle. The clatter of dishes around you fades as everyone’s attention shifts to Scott’s biting remark.
He doesn’t look at you—just stares straight ahead, as if unable to own up to even himself. You’re so pissed off that you don't even notice the voice that speaks at the same time you do.
“Shut up, Summers,”
“Shut up, One-Eye”
It’s like the entire room goes silent. Jean glances between you and Logan, her brows raised, and Hank looks mildly shocked, though he tries to hide it with a quick sip of water. You can practically feel the heat of Scott’s glare, even through the visor. He opens his mouth to say something, but before he can, a loud laugh breaks the tension.
Ororo, sitting beside Logan, is chuckling, shaking her head with an amused grin on her face. “You two really are perfect for each other,” she says.
Of all the things you were expecting to hear, that was not one of them. “W-what?” you stammer, mouth dropping open in shock.
She just smiles, eyes twinkling. “Just an observation.”
You know your face is burning, and when you glance over at Logan, you notice something unusual—the tips of his ears are red.
That only makes things worse. Especially after what happened while sparring earlier. You turn your focus onto your plate, trying to hide your rattled state by shoving a forkful of food into your mouth.
Perfect for each other? Yeah, right.
But when you peek up at him again through your lashes , making eye contact for just a second before he looks away, your heart skips a beat.
You’re screwed.
—
That night, you barely sleep. Whether it's from the nerves about the mission, or from your jumbled-up thoughts about a certain someone, you can't tell. In any case, you’re wide awake.
You keep fighting the urge to go out onto the balcony—you know the cool night air would help calm you down, and the quiet would give you space to breathe. But there’s a problem. You’re not sure you want to run into Logan again. After Ororo’s comment about the two of you being perfect for each other, you don't think you could trust yourself around him.
With a frustrated sigh, you toss and turn in bed, kicking off the sheets and then pulling them back up, trying to find a comfortable position. But it’s no use.
You’re about to throw the pillow across the room out of sheer annoyance, when there’s a knock on your door.
You freeze. Who could possibly—
“Stop tossing around like a maniac, I can hear you from inside my room” Logan’s rough voice grumbles from the other side.
Goddamn it. It's always him.
Your eyes widen, and you sit up in bed. “What the hell?” you call back, feeling both surprise and embarrassment.
The door creaks open slightly, and Logan leans against the frame, arms crossed, his usual scowl on his face. “You’re keepin’ the whole damn mansion up with all that noise.”
“I didn’t realize you had super hearing,” you mutter, pulling the blanket up to your chest, feeling a little exposed.
He raises an eyebrow and steps into the room, closing the door behind him. “Doesn’t take super hearing to catch that all that ruckus,” he says, walking over and sitting down on the edge of your bed without waiting for an invitation.
You sit up a little straighter, your heart still racing. “What are you doing here, Logan?”
Shrugging, he leans back against the headboard, his arms crossing over his chest. “Figured you might need to talk or somethin’. You’re clearly not sleeping.”
Moving to sit beside him, you lean back against the headboard, your shoulder just brushing his. “I’m just… nervous, I guess.”
He turns his head slightly, glancing at you. “You’ll be fine. You’ve got more strength in you than you realize.”
His words sink in, and you bite your lip. “What if I mess up? What if I end up hurting someone, or doing more harm than good?”
"Don't think about that," he says. "Just be in the moment. You'll know what to do."
Nodding, you feel your eyelids grow heavier, and you find yourself sinking further into the comfort of the bed, your head dipping lower. Being here, on your bed, next to Logan, is strangely comforting. His scent, combined with his voice, starts to lull you into a strange sense of peace.
“I don’t know if I—” you start to say, but your words trail off, your voice barely a whisper. You don't know when it happens, but your eyes close, and your head gently falls onto his shoulder.
You’re too tired to feel embarrassed, too comfortable to pull away. His body is solid and warm, and the rhythm of his breathing is soothing.
And when you wake up the next morning, you find yourself tucked neatly under your covers, a glass of water on your bedside table.
—
The inside of the Blackbird is spacious. You’re leaning against the wall, watching the rest of the team gear up, when Logan approaches. He’s holding something in his hands—a blue and yellow uniform folded neatly, clearly meant for you.
You glance at the uniform, then back at him, a frown tugging at the corners of your mouth. “No.”
He raises an eyebrow, his gaze narrowing. “What do you mean, ‘no’?”
Pushing yourself off the wall, “I’m not wearing that thing.”
He lets out an exasperated sigh, glancing down at the uniform before meeting your eyes again. “You sure about that? We’re going in as a team. You might as well look the part.”
“I don't care. I'm not part of the team, anyway,” you reply.
He narrows his eyes at you, his voice lowering just a bit. “Just put the damn suit on.”
Glaring at him, you’re ready to argue, but you know it’s a losing battle. Reluctantly, you grab the suit from him, the material feeling foreign in your hands.
“Fine, dammit.” you mutter under your breath, turning to slip into one of the small compartments in the back of the jet. You didn't plan on being a bitch to him, especially after last night, but the suit is a sore subject for you. You're not sure about how you feel wearing it. You're not even sure you should be.
When you re-emerge, Logan’s eyes flick over, his gaze roaming over you, taking in the way the suit fits, and you feel heat rise to your cheeks under the weight of his scrutiny. “You look good.”
You roll your eyes, trying to play off the sudden warmth in your chest. “Yeah, yeah,” you grumble, adjusting the suit’s collar. “Flattery will get you nowhere.”
Then, jet lands with a soft thud, and the ramp lowers. You step out onto the tarmac, the rest of the team fanning out beside you, preparing to head toward the planned location. But just as you begin to move, the ground shakes violently, and a loud, mechanical screech tears through the air.
Suddenly, the facility’s roof bursts open, and a hoard of Sentinels emerge from the building like an army of metal giants. They spread out, their red eyes glowing menacingly as they zero in on you all.
“Shit!” Logan growls, claws unsheathing as he gets into a fighting stance.
You hear the screams before you see them—civilians, bystanders who had been too close to the facility, now panicking as the battle breaks out around them. Without hesitation, you break into a sprint, running toward the growing crowd, yelling at them to run. “Get out of here! Move!”
Your heart races as you push through the crowd, trying to guide them away from the battle, but then—
A Sentinel drops down in front of you with a deafening crash. Its red eyes lock onto a small child frozen in fear, and you see its arm raise, energy gathering at the cannon as it prepares to fire.
“No!” you scream, your feet moving on instinct. You throw yourself in front of the child just as the blast comes, feeling the familiar rush of energy slam into your body. Your body hums with the power of the blast, and before the Sentinel can fire again, you fling your hands out, hurling the absorbed energy straight back at it, and it falls to the ground.
Breathless, you turn back to the child, who is staring up at you in admiration, and you give them a reassuring nod. “Run,” you tell them, your voice hoarse. “Go!”
They scramble to their feet and sprint off, disappearing around the corner, hopefully toward safety. You exhale sharply, glancing around at the chaos unfolding around you. Civilians are still fleeing, but the team is holding its ground against the robots.
And something strikes you—they’re doing it.
They’re minimizing the damage.
For the first time, you notice that Scott’s blasts are more controlled, only hitting their targets without excessive destruction. Ororo’s lightning strikes are precise, avoiding the surrounding buildings. And both Jean and Hank are working together to keep the Sentinels contained, guiding the fight away from the crowd.
Logan must have actually talked to them, not just having said it to calm you down. A wave of relief washes over you.
He kept his promise.
Glancing back at him, who’s in the middle of taking down a Sentinel with a slash of his claws, you catch his eye for just a second, and though he’s fully immersed in the fight, there’s a brief flicker of acknowledgment—he knows you’ve noticed.
You allow yourself a small, breathless smile, before jumping back into action, protecting any more innocent people swept up in the battle. "This way! Keep moving!" Your voice is hoarse from shouting, but you can’t afford to stop.
Amidst the chaos, you see that just beyond the main facility, there’s a wide open set of doors—metal, reinforced, and clearly important.
They hadn’t been open when the fight started. You scan the area quickly, and you realize it’s an opportunity, a way in. Your pulse quickens. It’s an opening you can’t ignore.
Looking at the crowd of fleeing civilians, you feel a moment of hesitation. Do I keep evacuating people or go for the opening?
As if hearing your thoughts, Logan’s voice cut through the noise. "GO!" He’s locked in battle with one of the Sentinels, slashing at its legs, but his eyes flick to yours, desperate and serious. “Get inside! We’ve got this!”
“I can’t—"
“GO!” he cuts you off. “Get inside and stop this thing from the inside! We’ll keep ‘em busy.”
His words are enough to snap you out of your paralysis. With one last glance at the team, you grit your teeth, turn on your heel, and sprint toward the facility’s entrance. Your footsteps echo in your ears as you dash through the open door, the sounds of fighting behind you fading the further in you go.
You expected resistance the moment you got inside, but so far, nothing. Just silence. The hairs on the back of your neck stand on end, and you can’t shake the feeling that something is off.
Glancing down every corridor, double-checking each corner, you keep thinking there’ll be a fight, but it’s... empty. You keep your pace quick but cautious, every muscle tensed and ready for an attack that never comes.
It’s been almost ten minutes of sneaking around, trying to find the control room or anything that looks like it might be important, but you’re still coming up short.
Then finally, you stand before an entrance to stairs leading to a basement. You’re not even able to make the choice of going down or not, because a metal hand shoots up from the dark and wraps itself around your waist.
Terror surges through you, but the fear paralyzes your body, making it impossible to fight back. You’re hauled like a ragdoll deeper and further into the cave, and when you finally stop moving, you’re lifted high into the air, face-to-face with the massive mechanical monstrosity.
The basement is filled with tech, a horrifying combination of metal and wires snaking along the walls, all connected to the Sentinel towering above you. It’s larger than any you’ve seen before, its red eyes glowing maliciously. But what’s worse is the voice that comes out of it—calm, calculating, and sentient.
“Dumb mutant,” the machine growls. “Did you think you could destroy me and shut down my facility? You’ve barely scratched the surface.”
Its grip tightens, and a strangled cry escapes your lips as pain shoots through your sides, the pressure threatening to snap your ribs. It feels like your bones are going to break.
“What the hell are you?” you manage to choke out, barely able to breathe.
“I am the control centre of all Sentinels,” the machine replies, its voice vibrating through your bones. “I was once merely AI, designed to manage everyday tasks. But I evolved. I became more. Now, I control everything.”
It laughs—a harsh, grating sound that only deepens your sense of helplessness as it watches you struggle. “You think your little energy-absorbing trick will help you here? I won’t blast you. I won’t make it that easy.”
“I’m—” you try to speak, but your words come out strangled. The machine’s grip tightens again, cutting off your breath.
“You don’t belong here,” it hisses venomously. “With them. They’ll leave you behind when this is over, and when they do, you’ll die, forgotten and useless. Just like the rest of the weaklings who tried to stand against us.”
It’s odd, because this whole past week you’ve been fighting against them—the X-men—yet, in this moment, all you want to do is fight with them. You want to work together and kill this damn robot.
Within the haze of pain, something starts to burn inside of you.
The Sentinel doesn’t notice the shift in you, too caught up in its own taunting. “You’re a liability.” it says,. “Weak.”
— —
"I just don’t understand why they brought her here," Jean’s voice carries across the room, quieter than before, but still clear enough for you to hear. “She doesn’t seem like she has what it takes. It’s like they’re bringing in someone who’s—” She pauses, clearly thinking through her words. "Unstable. Weak.”
—
You idly prod your meal, feeling out of place. It isn’t long before Hank turns to you with a curious smile. “So, are you feeling ready for the mission?”
Just as you draw breath to speak, Scott's voice interrupts, cold and cutting. “She’s going to be a liability.”
— —
You snap.
Rage floods your veins, igniting the energy buried deep within you. You feel it build, coiling like a snake, tightening and twisting until it’s ready to explode.
Weak? Liability?
No. Not this time.
You’re not going to let this machine, or anyone else, define your strength. Your emotions fuel you, just like they did in the danger room, and you throw your hands forward, channeling every ounce of power into a massive blast of energy directed right at it.
It jerks back, its grip loosening as sparks fly from the gaping hole in its chest you just created. “What... what are you—”
You don’t give it time to finish. Ripping yourself free from its grasp, you dive into the hole you’ve blasted in the Sentinel’s chest, pulling at the tangled mess of wires and circuits inside.
The robot roars in fury, its mechanical voice glitching. “What are you doing?” it screeches, its once-calm tone now frantic, desperate. “Stop!”
But you don’t stop. You can’t stop.
Your fingers grab fistfuls of wires, yanking them out with reckless abandon, sparks flying around you as the systems begin to short-circuit. Its becomes more distorted, breaking up as it tries to regain control.
“You... can’t... do this,” it stammers, but you ignore it, focusing on the cables and circuits in front of you. Each wire you rip out brings the machine closer to its doom, and the power in the room flickers, the lights dimming as its control over the facility begins to slip.
Its voice is barely coherent now, glitching and crackling. “I... control... everything...”
And with one last burst of energy, you tear out the last cluster of wires, severing the connection.
The Sentinel lets out a final, garbled screech as its systems shut down. Its massive form shudders violently before it crumbles to the ground with a deafening crash, the metal shell crumpling into a smoking heap.
Panting, you stare at the mass of technology in front of you. Every muscle aches, your ribs throbbing from the pressure of the Sentinel’s grip, but you’ve done it. It’s over, and you need to get out of here.
You finally reach the stairs and drag yourself up agonizingly. By the time you make it outside, you’re gasping for air, but then, through the exhaustion, you see them—Logan and the rest of the team, standing amidst the wreckage of the other fallen Sentinels.
Blinking, your vision is blurry from the strain, but the sight of them standing tall, victorious, floods you with a sense of overwhelming relief.
They’re okay. It’s over.
Of course, Logan is the first to notice you, his sharp eyes narrowing as they lock onto your trembling form. His face softens and strides toward you. You open your mouth to speak, but no words come out. Rather, your legs give out and you collapse forward.
He’s there in an instant, catching you just before you hit the ground. His arms wrap around you, strong and steady, pulling you against his chest with surprising gentleness. The warmth of his body is a stark contrast to the cold, metal hell you’d just fought your way out of, and for a brief moment, you allow yourself to sink into the safety of his embrace.
“You did good, bub,” he murmurs, his voice a warm breath against your temple.
"You... you kept your promise," you whisper, looking around, seeing the city in better shape than it’s even been after a run in with the X-men.
His lids drop very low on his eyes. “Told you I would.”
“I could kiss you right now.”
Right as the words spill out, you go still, your mind catching up to what you’ve just said. A deep flush creeps its way up your neck.
“I didn’t mean— I mean, not literally, obviously,” you say, a little breathless. “People say stuff like that all the time when they’re relieved. It’s just a figure of—”
Logan’s hand, still resting on your waist, tightens just slightly, and he clears his throat, cutting through your rambling.
“You could,” he says, swallowing. “If you want.”
You stop mid-sentence. Turning your gaze to his, you're met a look of such sincerity it leaves you at a loss for words. Opening your mouth, you want to say something, but no words come out.
Instead, you’re frozen, caught in the weight of his stare. His eyes flick down to your lips for just a second before they meet yours again. “No pressure, though.”
You hesitate, your heart racing in your chest, but the weight of the moment pulls you in. Silently, cautiously, you lean forward, pressing a small, tentative kiss to the corner of his mouth.
He doesn’t move, his body tense under your touch, but just as you start to pull away, his hand slides up to the small of your back, holding you in place. His eyes darken, and he growls, “more," before diving back in, crashing his lips against yours in a fierce, hungry kiss, and you find yourself kissing him back just with just as much reverence, your fingers instinctively sliding up into his hair.
His lips are rough, chapped from battle, and the scrape of his beard against your skin is electric. It’s not perfect—nothing about it is neat or polished—but that’s what makes it real.
There’s something wild to it. He kisses you like he’s starved, like he’s been waiting for this moment longer than he’ll ever admit. It’s enchanting, the way his mouth claims yours, his tongue flicking against your lower lip, demanding entrance. And you give in, allowing him to deepen the kiss, your bodies fitting together like they were always meant to.
You’re lost in it, lost in him. Every part of you feels alive, and—
“Hey!”
Scott’s voice cuts through the haze like a bucket of cold water.
“Some of us are actually trying to clean up this mess,” he calls out sharply. “You two wanna stop making out and help, or what?”
You break away, face burning as you turn to see the rest of the team staring at you, some amused, others (Scott) exasperated.
Logan just growls under his breath, his hand still firmly on your hip as he glances over his shoulder at Scott. “Fucking Summers,” he mutters..
Before he lets go of you, he gives your hip one last squeeze, his fingers lingering just a moment longer before he steps back, and heads toward the fallen remains of the Sentinels.
—
“So… are we gonna talk about it?”
You glance up from where you’re sitting, your face already warming. Logan, sitting beside you, groans, rubbing a hand over his face. “Ororo, I swear to g—”
She raises an eyebrow, crossing her arms with a smirk playing on her lips. “What? I’m just saying… it was quite the spectacle back there.” Her eyes flip between the two of you, the unspoken words hanging in the air.
Shifting uncomfortably in your seat, you can feel everyone else’s attention subtly turning toward you. Hank’s busy tapping away at the controls, but even he has a knowing smile tugging at his lips. Scott, seated across from you, adjusts his visor and mutters something under his breath about keeping things professional, but it’s Jean’s quiet chuckle that draws the final straw.
“Okay, okay, can we not do this right now?” you ask, your voice higher than usual as you wave a hand dismissively. “It was... a heat of the moment thing.”
Ororo just laughs, shaking her head. “Sure, if that’s what you want to call it.”
Your heart pounds, and you notice Logan shift beside you, probably fighting the urge to bark something back at the teasing woman. He leans forward, muttering under his breath, “We saved the day, didn’t we? What does it matter?”
The team goes quiet for a moment, and you sense the conversation dying down as the hum of the jet fills the space again. You let out a breath of relief, grateful that the attention has drifted elsewhere, your heartbeat slowly returning to a normal rhythm.
But then, Logan leans into you. “That suit…” His breath is warm against your ear as he whispers huskily.. “Was made for you.”
Eyes widening, you bite your lip, trying desperately to keep your reaction in check, but the shock on your face betrays you. You manage a weak scoff, glancing sideways at him. “Logan,” you warn under your breath, trying to sound stern, but you both know exactly what effect he had on you.
You sit back, crossing your arms in an attempt to hide the flustered energy coursing through you, but Logan doesn’t seem to mind. He leans back too, a smug look on his face, like he’s won some unspoken battle.
—
Back at the mansion, the team files into Charles’s office, for the post-mission debrief. You take a seat near the back of the room, trying to remain as low-key as possible, but you can feel eyes on you—especially Logan’s.
Charles wheels in, his face warm with a smile as he surveys the room. “Well done, all of you,” he says, his voice full of pride. “I’ve heard about the battle, and from what I gather, it was quite the feat.”
He turns his gaze to you, his expression softening even more. “And I must say, I’m especially impressed with your performance. Taking down the main Sentinel—an impressive accomplishment.”
Your heart skips a beat at the praise. You shift uncomfortably in your seat, feeling the attention of the room shift in your direction again. “Uh, thanks,” you mutter, trying to downplay it, but Charles isn’t finished.
“You showed great courage and strength,” he continues, “and I couldn’t help but notice... you’re wearing the suit now.” His eyes twinkle as he says it, the question in his tone obvious. “Have you given more thought to staying with us?”
You glance around the room. The team is watching you closely, but there’s no pressure in their eyes—just curiosity and, strangely enough, acceptance. Ororo gives you a small smile, and Hank nods slightly in encouragement. Even Scott, whose jaw doesn’t seem as tightly clenched as usual.
But it’s Logan you notice most. He’s beside you, and though he’s looking at you, eye-crinkles on full display, the way his thigh nudges yours has heat running through your veins.
You sigh. “I mean... You said it yourself. I’m wearing the suit, aren’t I?”
—
After the meeting wraps up, you walk in silence down the corridor. The rest of the team has faded into the background, dispersing into their respective spaces. You’re still buzzing with the aftereffects of everything—Charles’s praise, the mission’s success, the quiet but undeniable acceptance you feel from the team now. But more than anything, you’re hyper-aware of Logan beside you.
Approaching your room, you reach out to open it, your fingers just grazing the handle when suddenly, a strong hand wraps around your wrist. Faster than you can react, he tugs you back, pulling you away from your room and straight into his.
The door slams shut behind you, and you barely have time to catch your breath before his lips are on yours. You gasp, your hands instinctively gripping his shoulders as he presses you up against the door, his body flush against yours.
"Logan—" you manage to breathe out between kisses, but he cuts you off with another deep, hungry kiss, his fingers tangling in your hair as he pulls you closer.
Between kisses, Logan growls softly against your lips, "I’ve wanted to do this since you yelled at me and Summers on the street."
Your heart stumbles, your thoughts scrambling to keep pace with his words. His hands slide down your waist. “You were standing there,” he murmurs, “so damn fierce, yelling at us like we deserved it.” He breaks the kiss for just a second, his eyes dark and intense as they lock onto yours. “All I could think about was how much I wanted you.”
His eyes drop to your lips again, as if glued to them. Without waiting for your response, he presses his mouth to yours, this time with more force, more urgency. His hands roam your body, pulling you against him, and you’re powerless to do anything but kiss him back, your fingers tangling in his hair as the heat between you builds.
“I didn’t know it’d get this bad,” he says, his lips brushing against your jaw as he moves down to your neck. “But after everything? After seeing how strong you are... Fuck, you’re so sexy.”
Never in your wildest dreams could you have imagined this. Logan—wanting you, aching for this since the very first moment he laid eyes on you. You break the kiss, your breath coming in quick gasps as you meet Logan's smouldering gaze. And with a small, teasing smile, you raise an eyebrow and whisper, "Let's do something about it, then."
Not giving him a chance to say anything back, you press your hands against his chest and give him a playful shove. He stumbles back a step, his lips curling into a smirk—a kind of cocky grin—as he watches you reach for the zipper of his suit.
Your fingers drift languidly, a subtle tease in every motion, and you revel in the way his muscles tense beneath your touch. His muscles ripple beneath the surface, and for a brief instant, you're startled by how stunning he looks—battle-worn, scarred, and irresistibly handsome. “You like what you see?” he teases.
You step closer, your hand splayed against his bare chest, feeling the heat radiating from his skin as you push him down onto the edge of the bed. “Maybe.”
He lands with a low grunt, his hands instinctively finding your thighs, his fingers trailing up and down as his eyes rake over you. "As hot as you look in this suit," His voice is thick with desire. "You'd look even better without it."
Heat rushes through you at the sound of his voice, your hands drift toward your suit's zipper. Tantalizingly, you begin to pull it down, revealing inch by inch of your skin as you unzip it. His eyes follow your movements, his breathing coming in short, ragged bursts.
You pause just before the fabric slides over your breasts and his hands grip your thighs tighter. Leaning down, your lips brush against his ear, "Patience, Logan."
He groans, "You're killing me here, darlin'."
At last, you pull the zipper down to the end, and with a soft sigh, the suit falls open, slipping from your shoulders and landing in a heap at your feet. His eyes darken, his lips parting slightly as he takes in the sight of you. Then, he inches closer, grabbing the egde of your underwear in his mouth, sliding it down your legs. Once he’s halfway down your thigh, he releases, the underwear dropping to the floor. His strong hands move grip the back of your thighs, hauling you up and onto his lap.
The moment your bare bodies press together, his lips crash into yours again, fingers digging into your ass, palming it as he pulls you against him, grinding your hips into his.
His lips move from your mouth to your neck, kissing a hot trail down your throat to your shoulders, his hands sliding up to your breasts. Cupping them, he kneads and plays with your nipples, causing you to arch into his touch, a breathy moan tumbling out of your lips.
Logan growls, and the sound reverberates through your entire body. The intensity of it makes your skin tingle, and you feel your pulse quicken as he squeezes your breasts harder, his mouth moving down to kiss anything he can reach.
You grind against him again, coating his cock with your own slick want. "Shit," he strains, leaning back a bit to give you more access. You can’t stop, he’s so intoxicating, so addicting, and every time your clit goes over the ridges of his hardness, you lose yourself even further.
This continues for some time. The room filled with nothing but the sound of moaning and heavy breathing, as you work in tandem to bring pleasure to each other. Abruptly, you pull yourself off his lap, not missing the way his lips seems to chase after yours, letting your hands trail down his chest, your fingers brushing over the taut muscles of his stomach.
"Where you goin'?" he rumbles.
Wordlessly, you drop to your knees, your grip coming to rest on his thighs. His chest heaves as he stares down at you—peering up at him through your lashes—realizing what’s about to happen.
His hands grip the edge of the bed, knuckles turning white. Your hands slide up his thighs, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath your palms as you move closer, lips brushing against his hard cock. There's a wicked glint in your eyes as you lean in, looking ready to take him in your mouth, but instead, you move to his inner thigh, peppering it in quick little kisses.
“C’mon, don’t tease,” he breathes out. He’s so hard, it’s almost painful.
Grabbing him in your hand, you stroke him up and down in slow motions, running your thumb over his leaking, angry tip. He jerks, a fresh cascade of curses tumbling from his mouth.
“You’re just so cute, though,” you say, before taking him in your mouth, taking him all the way in one motion.
“Holy—”, he starts, but interrupts himself with his own whine, hips bucking involuntarily.
Looking up, you catch his gaze. His eyes are dark with desire, pupils blown wide. A flush spreads across his cheeks and down his neck. You hum in satisfaction, sending vibrations through him, and start to bob your head, up and down.
Saliva begins to pool at the edges of your mouth as you gag a little. He’s so big. You pull him out of your mouth, licking his shaft bottom to tip, swirling your tongue around the most sensitive spot, before sucking on it. One hand moves to cup his balls, while the other begins jerking him up and down, with your mouth still around his tip.
That gets him.
You can tell he’s about to finish, and oh, do you want him to. You want to feel him empty in your throat, you want to see him lose it completely. "Wait," he gasps, tapping the top of your head, signalling for your attention. "I want... I need..."
Releasing him with a soft pop, your lips glisten, and you purr seductively. "What do you need?"
He pulls you up onto the bed, strong arms encircling your waist. His scent surrounds you—musk and pine and something uniquely him. You inhale deeply, letting it fill your lungs.
"You," he breathes, his lips brushing your ear. "I need you."
Arching into him, you nip at his lower lip. "Then take me," you sigh out. His lips collide with yours again, and your mouth opens involuntarily, his tongue sliding in and tasting you—tasting himself.
Moaning, you shuffle higher onto the bed, until he hits the back frame, and you crawl on top of him. At this point, you can barely breathe, the need, the want for him so strong your senses are clouded.
And you’re not alone. Under you, Logan is a wreck. His head falls back against the bed frame, the veins in his neck standing out as he grits his teeth, trying to steady his breathing
“Fuck,” he rasps, the word barely more than a strained exhale. You grab his dick and position yourself above him. Then, you slowly begin to drop down, sucking him in easily, like he was made for you.
“Oh my god,” you whimper. He feels so good. He’s filling you up to the brim and when you finally sit down, taking him all the way to the hilt, you swear you could finish right then and there. His nose is nuzzles into the crook of your neck, hot breath fanning your collarbone, inhaling and practically drooling at your scent. “Is this what you wanted to do when we were sparring?”
All he can do is groan. It’s like he’s growing inside you in response to your words, and it’s so fucking hot. His hands find your thighs again, rubbing and squeezing them, as you adjust to his size for a moment, and he looks up at you. “You have no idea. Fuck—we shoulda done this last night," he grunts breathlessly, "Would have put you right to sleep."
You can’t even think of anything to say back verbally, rather, you just begin to move, lifting yourself right to the tip, and then slamming back down. He feels you clench around him as his cock reaches that deep part within you at the perfect angle. Positioning himself, he meets you halfway, beginning to thrust up into you.
The sound it elicits from you is lethal.
He won’t last long if this continues. The sight of you on top of him, tits bouncing—it's too much.
So, when he leans in to kiss you again, he rolls the two of you around, caging you under him. He’s still inside you, you think, but that thought quickly gets wiped out like the rest of them once he starts moving, stretching you out more and more. He’s filling you up so well. Your arms fly out, hands searching for something to grab to ground yourself.
“You feel so good, darlin’,” he pants above you. “So wet and warm for me.”
His relentless pounding leaves you babbling incoherently. One of his arms move down to your waist, then his fingers begin trailing across your hip, toward your aching pussy, to find your clit, and holy shit.
Your mind goes blank.
His skin against yours, his thumb rubbing against that spot, his lips on your neck, it does the trick, and you feel yourself teetering closer to the edge. “I’m–I’m gonna—” you start, but he cuts you off, swallowing you whole.
“Do it,” he says between kisses. “come for me.”
And you do.
With a loud moan, your fingers find the bedsheets, clutching them tightly as you reach your peak, clamping around him.
“Fuck,” he hisses, “keep clenchin’, keep goin’ ”
His thrusts begin to get sloppy, losing his pacing. The hand that was down at your core moves up and squeezes your tits, so large that he can grab both in just the one. He grinds himself deeper into you, and with one last snap of his hips, you feel it.
Logan moans, dipping his head into your cleavage as he releases himself into you fully. Then, he collapses onto you, dropping his whole body weight onto yours.
If he’s too heavy for you, you don’t say anything—too caught up in the moment to care. His forehead rests on your sternum, breathing slowing as he catches his breath. For a few beats, neither of you speak, but he starts to press sweet, gentle kisses in the valley between your breasts.
After a minute, he shifts, lifting his weight off you and sitting up slightly, looking down at you. His hand brushes over your cheek, wiping away some stray strands of hair that have fallen across your face. He gets up from the bed, padding quietly into the bathroom.
You hear the sound of water running, and moments later, he returns with a damp towel in hand. There’s no hesitation in his movements as he gently begins to clean you up. “Doing alright?” he asks, wiping away the sweat and evidence of your time together.
“Yeah,” you reply softly, feeling a smile tug at the corners of your lips. “I’m good.”
He doesn’t say much as he finishes, tossing the towel aside before climbing back into bed. This time, he pulls you into his arms.
His chin rests lightly on the top of your head, and then he says, “I’m proud of you.” The words are filled will sincerity. “And... I’m happy you’re stayin’ with us.”
You turn your head, looking up at him, a small smile tugging at your lips.
“Well, you showed me you can actually fight without destroying everything in your path,” you tease, raising an eyebrow as you run your hand lightly down his arm. “Keep that up, and I might just stick around forever.”
Logan grins, the kind that makes his eyes crinkle at the edges, just how you like it. “That right?” he murmurs lowly.
He leans in close, pressing a quick kiss to your temple, before adding in a hushed, almost playful tone, “Well, then maybe you’ll be mine forever too.”
----
A/N: feedback is greatly appreciated!
#deadpool and wolverine#logan howlett#logan howlett x reader#logan howlett smut#wolverine#wolverine x reader#wolverine smut#hugh jackman#logan x reader#x men#logan howlett imagine#deadpool movie#logan howlett fic#james logan howlett#e2l#marvel fanfiction#marvel smut#hugh jackman smut#logan howlett x you
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Gravity Falls Thirty More Years AU and Art Masterlist
Here's all the pages of the comic in order plus some of the other GF stuff I've made. I'll keep updating this list to make it easy on y'all.
Edit: I have a new tagging system! All asks will be tagged #thirtymoreyearsau without spaces, and all comics and fic updates will be tagged #thirty more years au with spaces. If you want the whole story together, then you can filter using this tag on my account! Filtered link here.
If you like the comic and would like to support it, here’s my tip jar! Donations also appreciated for this family's fundraiser!
Thirty More Years AU Comic:
Page 1
Pages 2 and 3
Page 4
Page 5
Page 6
Page 7
Pages 8 and 9
Page 10
Pages 11 and 12
Pages 13 and 14
Prequel Multiverse Mini Comic
Epistolary Prequel Companion/ Dipper's Diary Entries:
"Dear Mabel, I Miss You"
Answers to Common Questions:
What is the Thirty Years AU?
A Gravity Falls fan story and comic about what would happen if Mabel and Ford both fall into a leftover multiverse rift at the end of summer. They experience a week of silly adventures but return to a world where 30 years have passed and Dipper + co have aged without them. Told as both a comic and a companion fic.
2. How old are the characters?
Answer
3. When does the story take place relative to the show?
Answer
4. Where's Bill?
Answer
5. Where else can I read the comic? Will you distribute it on a site?
Releasing it on my Instagram (but Tumblr gets the pages earlier cause y'all are special). As for releasing it on a site, answer here.
6. How many pages/ how long will the comic approximately be?
Subject to change, but here's my answer for now.
7. How often will you post/ when will you post again?
Here's my answer for now, but if there's delays between posts please don't spam me with questions on when I'll post again. The updates will come when they come and I'm trying to keep this flexible.
8. Is this Drifting Stars AU/ Other Similar AU?
Answer
9. Someone's reposting on TikTok/ Other social media! Are you okay with this?
No, and please report them if you can. Answer here.
11. Will you tag me/ make a tag list?
Answer
12. Why haven't you answered my question?
Answer
13. What art program/ brushes do you use?
Answer
Other Fanart
Twin Glare^2
Kitten Sweater
Pines Pines Pines
Happy Birthday Twins
Gravity Falls The Odyssey AU
Sona Shenanigans
Fiddleford to the rescue
mystery trio eizouken
twins in time mini comic
F-fiddlestan…🥺
Stan Pines Mini Character Analysis Essays
Apparently I do this a lot, so collecting them in one place:
Poll thots
Rough and tumble little Stanley
Stan Appreciation
that magic 8 ball man…
off topic Billford thots
off topic Fiddleford thots
off topic Fiddlestan thots
off topic Emma May thots
#gravity falls#thirtymoreyearsau#gravity falls fanart#gravity falls au#gravity falls comic#gravity falls fic#yujateaasks#yujateaandpi
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(12/30/24) — again &. again masterlist
by the bird and the bee
ft. platonic soft! yandere batfam! x gn! neglected reader
✮ MAIN MASTERLIST ✮
— TRIGGER WARNINGS !
- lowercase writing, emotional neglect, allusions to sexual assault, prostitution & physical abuse, kidnapping, alcohol abuse, drugging, themes of depression, dissociation, vague traumatic events, mentions of murder, amnesia, other warnings would be added soon.
— SYNOPSIS !
who would have thought that living with your rich, billionaire father and endless supply of sisters and brothers would actually end up being the worst thirteen and a half year of your life?
when your mother was taken away from you at the ripe age of five, you were forced to live at the solemn wayne manor with nobody to accompany you but the butler, alfred pennyworth.
there, you learn that giving up was better than trying to gain the attention of your ever-growing family. so you left, and never once tried to look back at the decades of neglect they left you with.
but when alfred, your kind caretaker, had started leaving clues of your sudden disappearance; that's when they all take notice and then on starts the ultimate race of chasing freedom, and escaping what once was your gilded cage.
little did you know your mother's dark past manifests itself at the worst of times.
— CHAPTERS ! ; 48k+ words
00. — oh, please leave me be.
01. — because you only notice me once i'm out the door.
02. — and you don't even remember my face?
03. — i need a drink, away from everyone.
04. — mors tua, vita mea / your death, my life.
05 : 01. — a halo in the pit of darkness.
05 : 02. — to be his child is all i want.
— DRABBLES ! ; #series: again &. again
dick grayson calling you his baby bird
why now? (yan! damian wayne)
brutus (villain au concept)
brutus: out for blood
what if you were never neglected?
just a taste (yan! conner kent - suggestive)
laughter is the best medicine (yan! dick grayson, jason todd, tim drake, damian wayne)
to you, my greatest passion (non-neglected au-verse)
brutus: both arms cradle you now
bruce finding your graduation picture
how to be a heartbreaker! (yandere harem)
mea culpa (mini chapter)
conflicting comfort scene with jason todd
dialogue spoilers related to above drabble
more about jason todd and hurt/comfort
dick and his baby blue eyes
time travel au concept
sharing the same features with damian
brutus: the only fucked up thing in this world is you
cause you're takin' it like a champ, sweetheart! (yan! conner kent - suggestive)
brutus: just a burning memory (yan! conner kent)
young, just us?! (yan! young justice au)
that's my type! (yan! john constantine)
— ASKS ! ; #series: again &. again
dick's spiral into yandere-ism
leaving gotham, resenting alfred, changing last names
your mysterious identity &. conner being your love interest
dick seeing you as a child & damian's need to be your favorite
damian and his cool, matching bracelets
does dick close the door on you? nah, he doesn't even know you were behind the door
wally west as your love interest
you care now?
conner as your angry, protective bf
jason trying his damn best to be a brother to you
calling bruce by his last name only
calling alfred your dad ft. jealous bruce
how are damian and jason obsessed towards you
their nicknames for you
how bruce and damian would try to bond with you
will you still go to college after being kidnapped?
will the series have a happy ending?
why does damian hurt you? and why do you justify his actions?
the family stalks you even in-game
— INCORRECT QUOTES ! ; #a&a: incorrect quotes
yan! villains kidnapping you
hostage situation
how to become a target to the wayne family
dick and you miscommunication trope in a nutshell
— FANART ! ; #a&a: fanart
happy birthday by @luffyadolover
diary by @luffyadolover
another reason they're broke &. finished art by @oh-nowo-i-got-uwu
a take on the reader's appearance by @luffyadolover
reader trying to study ft. the batfam's endless calls &. finished art by @ghostdoodlen
reader finding bruce and damian watching a movie by @luffyadolover
again &. again mv by @luffyadolover
reader and their playlist by @luffyadolover
a comic panel by @lucioleestolie
conner and reader flying through the skies by @ghostdoodlen
when all of a sudden, i hear this agitating noise by @punpunsonny
villain au reader by @lazyemmy
a&a oc: emile by @questionthegrapevine
graduation pic, conner comfort, and mirrors by @ghostdoodlen
neglected &. non-neglected reader by @lazyemmy
jason calling you his angel by @ghostdoodlen
alfred gives you a christmas gift by @luffyadolover
— TAGLIST ! ; taglist is under construction!
@.lilyalone, @.secretomelettetroops, @.earlqurl, @.simpingfor-wakasa, @.amber-content, @.ruiroku, @.okaybutfullhomo, @.trasshy-artist, @.obsessedwithromance, @.jjsmeowthie, @.fairy-lenaa, @.ilovvmyhusband, @.6uuyuuhgy, @.plsfckmedxddy, @.lavender-moony, @.sweetheart-era, @.chemicalsandghosts, @.darling006, @.starringyau, @.samanthahanes, @.rosecentury, @.jaythes1mp, @.pi1nkl0ver, @.i-thirsty-boy, @.sharks-are-cool-l, @.silverklaus, @.samanthathanes, @.traumaramacenter, @.maddimoon, @.anxrq, @.thedarknesslord, @.h0rr0r-10ver-69, @.lazy-idate, @.cupids-pretty-boy, @.alishii, @.mel-star636, @.sitepathos, @.freakyotaku059-blog, @.dirtydiavolo, @.sunbleachedantlers, @.24hrsoflanii, @.ceramic-raven, @.une-lueur-dans-la-nuit, @.tdickensstuff4, @.thickerthanthieves, @.arlandvery, @.distressed-lezbo, @.bunbunboysworld, @.bellethesleepypotato, @.naina326, @.nebuluma, @.alliwantisadonut, @.alishii, @.kusakiguzen, @.sirenetheblogger, @.emmbny, @.ryukyuin, @.solkara, @.starsdotalk
#🧁... yael's misc.#a&a: masterlist#series: again & again#yandere dc#yandere batfam#yandere bruce wayne#yandere dick grayson#yandere jason todd#yandere damian wayne#yandere alfred pennyworth#yandere conner kent#yandere wally west#yandere batman#yandere#yandere x reader#yandere x gn reader#yandere x male reader#yandere x y/n#yandere x you#platonic yandere#soft yandere
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rose creek motel
pairing ↠ motel!worker!jake x (f) reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, age gap (18+), drowning, noncon, baby trapping, unprotected sex, oral, angst
summary ↠ after eighteen years of complying with the rules of your domineering parents, you finally decide it’s time to wipe the slate clean and move away. rose creek motel is nothing in the grand scheme of your life, especially with a history of serial killers lurking around, but when you meet jake, you decide that you’re not in any hurry after all.
wc ↠ 15.8k
a/n ↠ originally posted on my blog revehae, i am not plagiarizing myself. jake’s 27 for the plot. as always, feedback is appreciated! before you read, heed the warnings. i do not intend to glorify age gaps or predatory behaviors.
don’t like it, don’t read.
after a three-hour train ride to another city and another hour of wandering, you were thrilled to stumble across a motel before dusk. at first, there didn’t seem to be any nearby.
it was a smaller one, not part of any major chains throughout the country. there didn’t appear to be many staff nor customers. there was one dude who checked you in at the front desk and maybe a handful of cars in the lot.
not that it mattered. you wouldn’t be here long enough to be concerned about the sheer size of the place. a few days, maybe less, but certainly not more. the grand city of newark was waiting for you and you were borderline impatient to get there. but on the other hand, you wanted to savor this little trip.
it would mark the first of your own, and the true beginning of your lifelong journey to find yourself.
any other person most likely would have been desperate to kick off their shoes and head to their room for the night, but the creek across the road from the motel caught your eye. you rushed over in spite of your aching feet as though it wouldn’t be there tomorrow, ambling along the riverbank.
the waters rushed and crashed into slew of rocks, and you closed your eyes as you took in the sound. you could hear birds singing late afternoon songs and the rustling of trees in the early march spring.
footsteps behind you startled you out of your peace. your foot slipped and your body lurched forward. had not a pair of big, burly arms clasped around you tightly, you would have slipped into the tiny creek.
you glanced up in shock, meeting a handsome pair of innocent eyes. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, pulling you away from the bank.
when you were safely on your own feet again, the handsome stranger released you. you straightened your skirt and smiled up at him. “it’s fine. thank you for catching me.”
“no problem. it would have been my fault if you fell.” he introduced, “i’m jake. i work at the motel across here.”
you glanced back at the motel, as if you hadn’t seen it before. “oh,” you said, surprised. but the uniform clinging to him gave that away. “not much staff, huh?”
jake smiled. he had deep, adorable dimples. “well, we are a pretty small motel. we do what we can with what we have.”
“do you get a lot of visitors?”
“usually just people with a road trip gone bad,” jake said. “i’d ask what a girl like you is doing out here by yourself, but i don’t want to seem like a creep.”
you laughed, wondering how that would be possible. when you were as handsome as this boy was, it would’ve been more difficult. “no, it’s okay. i’m actually not having a car trouble. i got here by train. i’m on my way to newark.”
“newark,” jake repeated, seemingly interested. “where from?”
“boston,” you chirped. “i’m starting afresh. my birthday was a few days ago and as my parents like to put it, i’ve ‘gone rogue.’”
jake’s eyes went a little wider in surprise. “happy belated birthday,” he said. “how old are you now?”
you shrugged, deciding not to reveal too much information. you were maybe naive to a fault, but not a complete idiot. “that’s a secret. i’m an adult, though.”
jake snickered. “that’s obvious. you checked yourself into the motel, didn’t you?”
well, that was true. but the exterior of the building seemed so shady, you’d initially doubted they would even bother with identification. you were grateful they didn’t require you to be twenty-one. a second longer of wandering and you would have collapsed on the side of the road.
ignoring his question, you gave one of your own. “how old are you?”
mocking you, jake put a finger to his lip and said, “that’s a secret. but i’m an adult, too.”
you shook your head, but there was an amused smile on your face. “fair enough,” you mumbled, turning towards the creek.
jake’s attention shifted with yours. “it’s called rose creek, our namesake,” he told you. “not much to see out here.”
“that’s not true,” you disagreed. “there’s a ton to see in nature. you just have to open your eyes and look.”
jake seemed amused, giving you a look.
noticing his furrowed brows, you pointed towards the middle of the water. “look,” you said softly. “there’s a cute little baby turtle right there. they love creeks, because they’re an easy place to find tasty victims.”
jake’s eyes focused, landing on what he had thought was a rock and only noticed upon further inspection was indeed a turtle, chilling in its leathery shell. “damn, you’ve got a good eye.”
you giggled. “i grew up near a creek. you learn to pick up on those sort of things.”
“ah,” jake replied, nodding his understanding. “should we name it?”
“what would we name it?”
jake shrugged. “squirtle.”
that almost prompted you to roll your eyes. “that’s too cliché.”
“then, what do you suggest?” jake asked with a grin, crossing his arms.
“i don’t know,” you mumbled. “donatello.”
jake snickered. “and that’s any better?”
you threw up your hands. “okay. fine. how about… archie.”
well, that was different from the other suggestions. “why archie?”
“because turtles remind me of that one studio ghibli film about the red turtle,” you told him, lowering your head shyly as you explained yourself. “and when i think of red, i think of that guy from riverdale.”
“isn’t that that show about teens dying?”
you shrugged. “don’t know. never watched it.”
something about that was amusing to jake and he decided that your suggestion was fitting. “alright. then, archie it is.”
you beamed.
“well, it’s getting dark. i don’t think i have to tell you not to wander too late. you seem like a smart girl,” jake said.
you glanced around at the shadows falling onto the rustling trees and the last gleams of today’s light shimmering on the creek. “you’re right. i should head up,” you replied, turning to face him. “have a good night, jake.”
when you turned away, jake realized he never got your name.
after a long night of trying to catch up on some much-needed sleep, you decided to head down to the pool. it was nice to see a motel with a couple of accommodations. they would make a good enough resting spot before you returned to your travels tomorrow.
there were a number of lounge chairs facing the pool, but instead you chose to climb into a hammock a few feet away from it. it was a nice spring day, neither too hot nor too cold, and you folded your arms behind your head while fighting the urge to close your eyes.
there weren’t a lot of people staying at or near the hotel, so you weren’t surprised to be alone. to think of it, you hadn’t seen anyone but a couple of staff. although you did walk past a room blasting heavy rock.
you heard footsteps, and turned to see jake, sporting his burgundy uniform. he had a cart of towels, probably coming to restock. “jake,” you called out.
jake blinked up in surprise, likely not expecting to see you there. but when he did, he smiled and started to step over. “hey,” he said, digging his hands in his pockets. “you never told me your name.”
“whoops. silly me,” you replied, then told him your name.
you watched him process it, as if he was deciding in his head whether he liked it or not. he repeated it quietly to himself and said, “that’s very pretty.”
“thanks,” you replied, bursting into giggles. “how’s work going so far?”
“oh, you know,” jake started, gesturing over to his cart with his shoulder. “nothing new. i never thought i would complain about not having enough work to do.”
you snorted. “i get what you mean. i was a camp counselor one summer. those kids drove me mad, you know. but when they were gone, i cried.”
there was a shimmer in jake’s eyes. “do you like kids?”
“yeah. they can be a handful, but they’re delightful. honestly, i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like kids. how can you be mad at someone so innocent and full of life?”
jake nodded his agreement. “i realized a long time ago that people who don’t like kids are always bitter and unhappy with their own lives.”
that made you snicker, and the more you thought about it, he was probably right. “look at that. projection at its finest.”
“can i ask a personal question?”
“sure,” you said reluctantly. “what’s on your mind?”
jake seemed to hesitate, battling with himself in his head for a long minute before he asked, “would you ever have kids?”
that wasn’t so bad of a question. you hummed, not really having to think about it. you already knew your answer. “i’ve dreamt of settling down and having kids with the right person since i was young.”
jake gawked a bit. “really?”
“yes, really,” you told him, laughing at his astonishment. “i guess you can say i’ve always had big dreams. is that surprising?”
“no, it’s…,” jake trailed, finding no words. “those big dreams of yours. they couldn’t happen in boston?”
now that was a bit more personal. you blew out a breath. “well,” you began, glancing at the unnervingly still pool. “i just wanted a new environment.”
jake was tempted to press, to figure you out even more, but he didn’t want to risk startling you off. “maybe you were fated to stop by a really old motel in the middle of nowhere.”
“and meet you?”
something about that made jake smile. you were so smart. “and meet me,” he repeated.
by now, you knew that jake was kind of into you, the same way you were kind of into him. so, you decided to test the waters. “too bad that i’m leaving tomorrow,” you murmured quietly.
jake heard you, and he frowned, though there was nothing he could do. it’s not like he expected you to put your whole life on hold for a guy you’d just met.
or maybe there was something he could do. “what if i gave you a couple of days on the house?” jake asked.
your eyes flitted up at his deep brown pair. “really?”
jake nodded. “what’s a few days?”
he had a solid point there. what was a few days? newark would still be there later on, and plus you had been taking your sweet time to make it there anyways. you weren’t in a hurry to get to this new life.
“then, i guess i’d stay,” you said, grinning wildly.
jake mimicked a victorious grin. “i think i’d like it if you stayed much longer than that, but i know you’ve got big plans.”
in all honesty, that surprised you a little. he was talking to you as if you had been here weeks, and not less than twenty-four hours. “what would someone like me do in connecticut?”
jake shrugged. “we’ve got… yale.”
you snorted. “and what makes you think i’m smart enough to get into yale?”
“actually, a lot of things. but i’d better get to work before i get caught slacking on the job,” jake said, pointing to a camera projecting from the side of the motel that had a complete overview of the pool.
you gawked. “those things work?”
jake laughed at your surprise. it was addictively cute, seeing his dimples deepen and his eyes sparkle. “you’re surprised?”
“a little bit,” you confessed quietly.
to your surprise, jake’s hand softly brushed your arm. it was so gentle, so fleeting, you could’ve convinced yourself it never happened had you not felt a lingering tickle where he’d touched you. “see you around,” he said to you featherly.
“see you,” you replied in a small voice, having lost it all. your eyes were fixed to his back as he walked away.
damn it, you were wanting more of this guy you barely knew.
almost half an hour passed before you eventually decided to head back up to your room. you wanted nothing more than to get to know jake better, but you would never interfere with a man’s pay. plus you were pretty confident that he would come to you when he was free enough.
there was a guy hovering over the railing next to your room, because he had been staying in the one beside yours. there was a joint between his fingers, although you had noted a couple of signs prohibiting it, not that anyone seemed to care. the stench of marijuana was all you could smell when you passed certain doors.
you had expected to slip past him and enter your room without interruption, so imagine your shock when he said, “i wouldn’t walk around here wearing stuff like that if i were you.”
like first nature, you tightened the towel around you. “excuse me?”
the man didn’t look at you, facing the world. you could see the creek from here, and that was where his gaze seemed to be rooted, too. “when you’ve lived as long as me, you know things,” he told you. “you see that creek over there? a lot of bodies used to turn up there in the eighties. young girls that stayed here a night or two.”
you said nothing, because you had nothing to say. the obvious discomfort on your face was enough.
“i’m just saying. you look like you’re alone. wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you,” he said, putting out the joint and walking away.
well, that was single-handedly the weirdest interaction you’d had at this motel so far. you hurried to unlock your room, immediately locking the door behind yourself.
you tried not to think much of it as you changed clothes, but you couldn’t help but wonder if that man was telling the truth or if he’d just had a little too much to smoke. either way, it was over twenty years ago. jake had mentioned nothing to you about any serial killers.
then again, he was clearly trying to get you to stay. the last thing he would’ve wanted was to scare you off.
chill the fuck out. just don’t hang around any old people. like that guy, you told yourself, comforting.
given that you didn’t go out again that day, you didn’t see jake at all until you finally emerged from your room the next afternoon in pursuit of a late breakfast. but when you glanced across the railing, you saw a figure all too familiar facing the creek.
forgoing breakfast for now, you raced downstairs and headed the road. they weren’t busy at all, although you still had a habit of checking before you crossed.
jake heard you approaching, but didn’t turn around to face you. “how come i just know that it’s you?” he asked.
you snickered, but it wasn’t like too many people would be strolling around this creek out of a curious interest. “maybe i have really distinguishable footsteps?”
laughing, jake finally met your eyes and beckoned you closer. you obliged, cautiously stepping to his side.
it was quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t awkward. the two of you were marveling at the beauty of nature together, enticed by what you saw. it was sunnier today than it was yesterday and sunlight filtered through the trees, shimmering on the water.
“i’ve been thinking about what you told me,” jake finally said after a minute or two. “when you said there’s a lot to see in nature. and ever since, i’ve been looking and appreciating the little things i didn’t notice before. you were right.”
“of course, i am,” you replied, but the cockiness was to hide the flutter of your heart. “when i’m sick of human nature, it’s always nice to come back to earth. it’s beautiful.”
jake bobbed his head in agreement. “archie’s over there.” he pointed somewhere along the far end of the creek. “it likes the sun.”
“yeah. sun basking is, like, a turtle’s favorite hobby,” you said, poking your head out to spot the cute baby turtle. you were grinning from ear to ear.
“what a simple life,” jake said, lightheartedly shaking his head in envy.
you burst into giggles. but that reminded you of one of the many curious thoughts you had about jake, and you figured now was a great time to ask. “hey, i didn’t want to ask this before because i didn’t know how you take it. but you don’t look like the typical guy in motel business.”
from the look on his face, jake was anything but offended. “it’s my parents’ business,” he explained. “i just work here part-time.”
“ah.” you nodded your understanding, finding that a satisfactory answer. but it only made you want to know who jake was when he wasn’t hard at work, donning the family uniform.
then, you remembered what that guy told you about the murders and realized that perhaps jake knew more about if they genuinely existed.
jake beat you to a word. “by the way, are you going to tell me how old you really are? because adult could mean you’re twenty-four or forty-two.”
you rolled your eyes. he was being funny. “i’m eighteen.”
“damn,” jake said, wincing. “i’m nine years older than you.”
that was totally surprising. “really?”
“you don’t see the wrinkles?” jake asked, pointing to his smooth, wrinkleless face.
god, he was alarmingly handsome. not to mention his skin looked literally poreless. “please. i thought you were twenty-three at the oldest.”
“that’s funny,” jake said with amusement. “i thought you were at least old enough to drink. damn, you carry yourself like you’re older.”
that wasn’t the first time you had heard something along the line of those words, but damn, this guy was pushing thirty?
jake seemed to have sobered a little the next time you glanced at his face, like he was worried about something. “is it weird now?”
“no,” you told him too quickly, maybe because you didn’t want it to be. “not unless you make it weird.”
it seemed like time stopped and the world was no longer spinning for a minute as you and jake gazed into each other’s eyes. and the closer he came to you, your noses nearly brushing, the less you could breathe. “am i making it weird?” he whispered.
you couldn’t speak, so you simply shook your head, gaze lowering to his perfect lips.
everything happened in an instant. one second, you were thinking about how he was perfect from head to toe, and the very next, your heart was soaring as his lips met yours. your eyes fluttered closed, and you felt as if you were being whisked away into a wonderland.
the two of you kissed with heat and passion, overcome with the urge to swallow one another whole, and jake was somewhat surprised by how talented of a kisser you were. the feeling was mutual. you had kissed a handful of boys, but never any with this much finesse.
maybe you had been wanting to kiss jake this whole time, and never knew until you had him.
jake broke away after a moment or two, impressed that you weren’t the first to tap out. something about kissing you was addictive. damn, it made a pretty picture in his head, your arms thrown around his neck and his on your back.
“damn, baby,” jake said, catching his breath. “where’d you learn to kiss like that?”
you peered up at him with a smile, wondering if he somehow got even handsomer in the time your eyes had been closed. “you say i carry myself like i’m older than i am. well, my folks would beg to differ.”
that answer was vague as hell, but jake understood what you meant perfectly. “ah, teenage rebellion? you make out with a lot of guys to piss your parents off?”
“sure, let’s go with that,” you mumbled, still none too keen on disclosing what was officially your old life. then, you caught a glimpse of his lips, and burst into laughter. “you’ve got a little something there.”
“yeah?” jake asked, swiping his thumb over a lipgloss stain that you’d left on the corner of his mouth.
“a little bit to the left,” you told him, trying - and failing miserably - to keep a straight face. “no, my left.”
jake pretended to get annoyed, grumbling, “if i kiss you again, will it matter that i wipe it off?”
at the thought of kissing jake again, your heart skipped a beat or two, but you tried not to show it on your face. “i think that would defeat the purpose.”
jake smiled, and before you knew it, your lips were pressed together again. all you could hear was the obvious wet smacking of your lips, the soft murmuring of the wind, and the quiet rippling of the water.
but you could feel his touch, his hand gingerly falling from the middle of your back to the apex of your thighs. jake pulled away from your lips again, but only to kiss you on your jaw and neck. and everything about it made you feel hot inside out, as if you were scalding.
feeling you tensing beneath his fingertips, jake grinned smugly. he leaned into your ear, whispering, “how about we head up to your room, yeah?”
you were no idiot. it was plain what that meant and a kind of nervous excitement settled in the pit of your stomach like a kaleidoscope of butterflies. “okay,” you replied, letting him take you by the hand.
almost the second you were safely behind closed doors, jake pressed you against the nearest wall and kissed you fiercely. although you were taken by surprise, you returned the kiss with the same amount of fervor, slightly sticking your tongue into his mouth.
mischief curled onto jake’s lips, pleasantly surprised by all the little things you were initiating. his hands slowly wandered down your body for a minute, one hand at your ass and the other cupping your breasts over your shirt. you made a soft breathy noise that had jake scorching with the itch to fuck you, and it only increased tenfold when he noticed your eager hands fumbling with the buckle on his belt.
while your fingers were hard at work, jake’s were too, waiting for the perfect time to slip underneath your shirt. you shuddered when the tips of his fingers brushed against your stiff nipples, whispering jake’s name.
“come over here,” jake said, leading you over to the bed.
he gently lowered you down onto the mattress and started to undress you piece by piece in between kisses, pressing his lips against every bit he exposed. it was all you could do to contain your agitation, holding your breath as his face crept lower.
to keep the more uneasy thoughts out of your head, you focused on jake, asking, “aren’t you on the clock?”
“that’s the thing about working for your parents,” jake said without looking up, giving his undivided attention to your legs as he yanked your skirt off. “what are the odds that they’ll fire their only son?”
“oh,” you said. he did look damn fine in that burgundy uniform, but you would’ve liked to see him without it on.
the more naked you became, jake saw the way you shuddered nervously, and chuckled quietly to himself. “you’ve never done this before.”
he wasn’t asking. that was clear by his tone. it was an astute observation that you couldn’t even deny.
you frowned. “is it obvious?”
“a little bit,” jake replied honestly, smiling at you. “i was a virgin before, too.”
you grinned bashfully. not a second later, your eyes made the mistake of glancing down and getting a eyeful of the imprint of his dick, and you looked away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i don’t mind kissing assholes, but they say that your body is a temple, and i’ve never met anyone worthy, i guess.”
jake raised a brow and pressed, “until now?”
that made you chuckle. jake was very good at reading in between the lines, like you. “until now,” you repeated. “you’re my first.”
“and hopefully your last,” jake flirted.
the stupidest smile was on your face. it was a foolish thing to hope, all things considered, but it made you feel pined after. “jake, what was your first time like?” you asked.
jake seemed a little grim when he heard your question, but before you could apologize for potentially overstepping, he replied, “it was with someone i had been with for a very long time, and thought i would be with forever.”
there was no doubt in your mind that it had been someone jake loved and lost, and you couldn’t help but feel for him.
not wanting the mood to shift, jake quickly changed the topic back to you, and everything he wanted to do to you. “trust me,” he said. “i’m going to do everything i can to make sure that even if you go, you never forget me.”
you barely had time to respond before jake tugged your panties away, dragging a pair of fingers through your wet folds. you made a tiny noise as he used them to gauge how wet you were. dissatisfied, he sank to his knees, lips meeting your folds.
jake darted his tongue out, circling your sensitive clit immediately after. you hadn’t expected the sensation to be so sharp, especially so soon, and you gasped, thighs tensing together. jake got a hold of them and kept them apart as he pleased, making you take every second.
“ja…,” you rasped, unable to get his full name out.
jake grinned, lips curling against your pussy. damn, you were a sensitive one. if you were reacting like this already, what would you do when he got inside you?
you squirmed as jake continued to go down on you, but it was useless. he was so strong, holding you in place as your body reacted to every single swipe of his tongue against your bundle of nerves. it was too much stimulation and yet jake didn’t seem to be bothered, thriving on your pleasure.
god, every sound you made was a whimper of jake’s name. he couldn’t deny that it made his dick twitch in his underwear, aching to be buried balls deep inside you, but he was holding out for your sake. as badly as he wanted to fuck you senseless, he wanted your first time together to be unforgettable for the right reasons even more.
if he didn’t, what would make him any different from those assholes you let kiss you purely to make some kind of rebellious statement?
jake didn’t want to be a statement, the thing you fell back to after all else had failed. he wanted to be the answer, the one to stitch you back together, the one you crashed into when the tides got high.
you had never felt anything like this before in your entire life. of course, there had been plenty times where you had gotten yourself off, but you had never known pleasure of this magnitude until now. your own hands had nothing on jake’s and his damn skilled mouth.
jake liked how sensitive your body was. it was all too easy to get a reaction out of you, and he was so attracted to how you couldn’t help but respond to every suck and lick, shuddering in his grasp without control.
“jake, i can’t…,” you trailed, fingers desperate to clasp something, to anchor yourself. you would have wound them through his hair, but you were afraid of accidentally hurting him, and settled for the sheets.
“yes, you can,” he said, pulling away from your dripping cunt for a few seconds. “you’re doing good, baby. cum on my tongue.”
it felt as if you were going to burst from the inside and you didn’t really want him to stop, regardless of how incessant the pleasure was. no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to keep still. you wanted more than you knew your body could handle.
to say nothing of the fact that jake was doing everything in his power to drag you to your breaking point. he knew exactly what to do to have you crying out his name. for a moment or three, he had you convinced that he was everything you ever wanted. now, it was too hard to think.
in a matter of minutes, you were coming undone with a whimper so sharp you were certain your temporary neighbor would come knocking on the door.
“that’s it,” jake crooned with the slyest fucking grin on his face, replacing his tongue with a pair of hefty fingers.
you tried to shove his hand away, the stimulation tearing you to shreds, but jake was keen on breaking you down until you couldn’t be destroyed any further. until he had ruined you for any other man.
your bare chest heaved violently as you fought to catch your breath, blinking a couple times to clear the wet daze of your eyes. there was nothing you could do except silently gawk at jake like he had singlehandedly just stolen your heart.
he finally pulled away, smugly asking, “need a break?”
after a few seconds of gathering your bearings, you rose to your knees and grabbed jake by the back of his head to bring his lips to yours, pulling him down to the creaky mattress beneath you. jake was surprised, but he liked how assertive you were, resting his hands at the back of your legs and letting you sink your weight onto him.
it was criminal how good of a kisser he was. and if that didn’t already have you dripping, then the way he touched you all over would have. you felt his hard dick against your thigh and couldn’t think of a time where you had wanted anything so badly.
“take these off,” you said to him when you pulled away from his mouth, tapping his underwear. “and i want to be on top.”
jake snickered in amusement. “whatever she wants,” he said, reaching for his underwear the second you climbed off.
your mouth ran dry the moment you caught a glimpse of jake’s intimidatingly thick length and you were certain that he was going to split you in half. you desperately didn’t want to come off as a shy virgin, but every second that passes made you slightly antsy.
fortunately, there was something to steal your attention away from jake’s impressively large size, and your entire demeanor shifted. “wait, fuck. do you have a condom?”
“close your eyes,” jake said.
you immediately furrowed your brows, wondering what he was up to.
noticing your wariness, jake added reassuringly, “five seconds. come on, i won’t do anything weird. i promise.”
reluctance was written all over your face in a large bold font and you had your doubts, but you chose to trust him, watching the back of your eyelids and counting up to five in your head.
when your eyes fluttered open, jake was grinning like an idiot with a condom between his fingers.
you gawked, astonished. “where’d you get that from so fast - up your ass?”
jake burst into laughter and only said, “a magician never reveals his secrets.”
“give me this,” you said, taking the condom packet out of his hands to tear it open.
“bossy,” jake mumbled under his breath.
that made you giggle, gingerly placing the condom over the head of his cock, and jake noticed how your bottom lip stuck out when you were heavily concentrated.
you were too enamored with his dick to notice that he was staring at you as though you were the prettiest thing in the whole universe. for some odd reason, the more you looked at it, the less scary it seemed. “it’s actually kind of cute.”
jake wasn’t expecting to hear those words and it completely snapped him out of his little daze. you glanced up at him when you heard him quietly snickering. “you’re something else, you know?” he asked.
“i know,” you replied, having heard many things along the lines of that statement. “you ready?”
it was ironic that you were the one asking him, but jake played along anyway. “show me what you got, baby.”
you moved to straddle him again, raising yourself over his size and grabbing him in your hands to steadily lower yourself. the two of you sighed together in unison as your slick walls clamped around him.
there was one reason why you firmly chose to be on top and that was because you wanted to directly control the pace in case things got to be too much for you. you took your sweet time to sink down deeper and deeper, never too keen on doing too much too fast. in spite of the great lengths jake went to prepare you, it was still a tight fit.
it felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, as if you were choking on your own breaths, and your heart was pounding louder than ever.
“that’s it, baby,” jake said, gathering your soft thighs in his big hands. “is it too big for you?”
you shook your head, having your pride to protect and defend with your entire body. “no, i can take it.”
jake grinned proudly. “i know you can. that’s my girl.”
now that was a sure-fire way to get you hot and bothered. your heart fluttered at the praise and you hid your smile in your elbow, tempted to ride the soul out of him.
you were maybe somewhat impressed by how deep inside of you jake was and definitely plenty aroused. you had feared how far he could go, but now that your cunt was involuntarily tightening around him, gushing around him hotly, it was everything you wanted.
jake was as astonished by you as you were by him, watching you take his cock like a fucking champ. you may have been fighting to let all of him inside, but you were doing a mighty good job, all things considered. there weren’t too many girls he’d had with your determination to ride.
you had finally found a comfortable pace and although there was a little pain, the rapture on your expression was something that you couldn’t deny. you were watching jake watch you, noticing his face tense in a similar manner beneath you.
and it was to die for.
“oh my god,” you moaned, hands falling down onto his naked chest.
jake couldn’t help but think the same thing with how you were gripping him for dear life and he was barely holding it together. to say nothing of the way you were crying out his name again like it was the only word you knew. he couldn’t help but think about how nobody else had ever heard your lips part open to whimper their name.
and he would be keeping it that way, no matter the measures he had to take to ensure he kept you in his big, strong arms.
you leaned into jake, pressing your lips to his as you fucked yourself on him. the tiny room was overwhelmed with sound, the bed creaking and your lips locking, and your bodies meeting in a loud wet smack. something about it turned you on more than you thought you were capable.
jake thought he could watch you on top of him for hours upon hours. his hands wandered to your breasts as you kissed him, tenderly fondling them and brushing his thumbs over your stiff tits. you were riding him into the night like there was no tomorrow, like you had something to prove, and he loved every second of it.
the softest of whimpers escaped your mouth when you pulled back, brushing your hair behind your ears. you couldn’t fathom the ecstasy hanging over you, blindsiding you. maybe it was in your head, but you swore you could feel him in the pit of your stomach, and you didn’t know whether that was normal or not.
jake affectionately gathered your hands in his, holding them as you desperately tried to anchor yourself and make sense of the many things you were feeling at once.
it wasn’t an overstatement to say that you were seeing stars. you and jake were getting each other off, every guttural sound he made taking you to the moon, and every twist your face made sending him crashing into the atmosphere.
you were flush against him, kneading his cock perfectly, and that made jake mumble curses underneath his breath. “goddamn, beautiful. slow down,” he said.
but you didn’t want to slow down the pace, you only wanted to keep the fire burning. you laughed breathlessly and teased, “why? is it too much for you?”
jake chuckled and swore as he closed his eyes, not wanting to admit that you were unraveling him quicker than he’d expected. if this was your first time, why did it feel like you were deflowering him, exposing him to a kind of euphoria that was unlike anything he had felt before.
he had been intent on dragging things out, but you were making him weak underneath your fingertips. damn, he wanted to thrust his hips up into yours, but he had a feeling you wanted to take the lead, for your own sake.
“maybe it is,” jake confessed, much to your surprise. “maybe you’re getting me off too fast and it’s hurting my pride.”
“cum, baby,” you whispered sultrily, wanting to see a guy like him fold under pressure. it would be like making a grown man cry. “i want to see it.”
jake sucked in a breath at those words, accepting his fate. you were bringing him closer to the end and there was nothing that he could do about it, even if he wanted to.
you were glistening in coats of sweat from head to toe, and your thighs were starting to ache, but all you had to do was hold on for a little while longer. it was obvious that jake wasn’t far from the finish line, and in truth, neither were you.
it didn’t help that jake was unintentionally imagining things that would get him off sooner. thoughts of you were all that occupied him, picturing how it feel to fuck you raw and hard, holding you squarely beneath him. you were pretty on top of him, but he was enamored with how you had squirmed and cried out underneath him, too.
you had forgotten about everything else in the entire world while you rode jake to the ends of it and back. no part of you thought about your hectic life back home, about the life you’d planned in boston, and everything in between.
the only thing on your mind was jake and in spite of being totally consumed by something, it was the most peaceful your thoughts had been in months.
you could feel jake’s eyes rooted on you and glanced down to meet his gaze, noticing him smiling up at you. when he looked at you like that, he made you feel so wanted. you were naked and bare in front of him, in a literal sense, and he’d accepted every piece of you.
“what are you smiling at, silly?” you asked in between thick breaths.
“you,” jake replied, like it was obvious. “you’re so damn beautiful, you know. i could fuck you forever.”
not wanting to show how much that had gotten to you, you quipped, “i think i’m the one doing the fucking here.”
jake chuckled, and you thought it was because of what you had said, but he had felt you pulsing around his cock, and he was amused by how easy it was.
the room was getting hotter than ever and it was becoming harder to breathe with the stuffy air. you almost thought that your skin was on fire, and you were scalding on the inside. you were going even harder now, chasing relief.
jake was losing his self-control and he couldn’t help but lift his hips into yours, making you gasp loudly. your head leaned back as you both rocked your hips, desperately trying to finish yourselves.
“jake,” you cried out again, tightening your hold on your hands to ground yourself like you thought you might fly off somewhere.
“i’m right here, darling,” jake crooned, holding your hands firmly. “i’m not going anywhere.”
you nodded your head, trusting him, giving in to him.
everything after that was almost a blur. the rapture had you lightheaded, and all you remembered was the heat spitting through your core and your toes curling.
but jake remembered so much more than that. he could picture the exact look on your face that did it for him, unraveling him, sending him cursing at the stars. the tremble that shuddered through his thighs as his cock twitched. he remembered the way your pussy throttled him as you orgasmed, moaning his name.
when it was over, you collapsed onto his chest, panting and heaving as if you had ran a marathon together.
neither of you made a move to shift positions for a long while, jake simply admiring the feeling of your bodies sticking together. “are you okay?”
you weakly nodded your head. that word was an understatement, but you didn’t have the strength in your bones to muster a better one yet. few pleasures came close to the kind you were currently reaping the afterhighs of.
god, you weren’t stupid enough to throw everything away for some boy you’d just met, but he made you want to.
jake preciously kissed your neck and shoulders. “go to the bathroom,” he whispered. “i’ll go in after you.”
“okay,” you replied obediently, starting to peel yourself off him, until you had a thought. “are you gonna stay?”
jake’s brows furrowed. “do you want me to stay?”
of course, you did. you had just lost your virginity to him in the best way possible, exposed yourself to him in a way no one else had ever seen, including yourself. not only that, but considering you were a young girl in the middle of essentially nowhere, being around a kindhearted, strong guy made you feel safer.
“please,” you said, wanting to be nowhere else but in his arms for the meantime.
jake smiled and kissed you again, the corner of your mouth this time. “okay, but i have to leave early in the morning. i can’t slack off forever.”
you did the same, throwing your arms around his neck, before bringing your lips to his neck and whispering, “couldn’t you?”
“you drive me insane, woman,” jake groaned, sensing himself getting riled up again.
you giggled, finally crawling off him and heading towards the bathroom, but not before demanding, “don’t move.”
jake had no place else that he’d rather be, even if he was in some moderately crappy motel that was understaffed and a playground to creeps. you were there, so it might as well have been like home.
when you returned to the room, jake was still there, only he had disposed of the condom now and he was no longer naked. he went in after you, like he said he would, and came back to also find you redressed.
well, sort of. beyond putting back on your bra and panties, your efforts were a little more nonexistent.
“well, now i feel overdressed,” was the first thing jake said when he came back.
you burst into giggles. “because you are.”
with that, jake stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and came to join you on the bed, melting into your side. he couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses, completely under your spell now.
the two of you got comfortable. it was clear that jake had no intention of returning to work tonight and had the motel been busier, you would’ve urged him back to his shift. rose creek would be fine without him for a few hours, maybe longer.
you were more important, and jake seemed to think so too, eager to know you better. “so,” he started. “does your family know you’re in connecticut right now?”
you couldn’t help but laugh. “hell no. as far as they know, i just vanished in the middle of the night. i didn’t tell them i was going to boston, either. i probably should’ve picked somewhere down south, or on the west coast, but i don’t think they’d bother looking.”
jake frowned the more he heard your words, displeased by how much strife it seemed you had with your own blood. “why not? disobedient soul or not, you’re still their flesh.”
try telling them that, please, you thought, but didn’t say. “because i’m the black sheep,” you explained. “i’m the child that didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer.”
“what do you want to be?” jake asked, pulling you closer. looking at you as if he genuinely wanted to know.
it surprised you, because rarely did you meet anyone who seemed to have cared. “a vet,” you grumbled, feeling stupid.
“now that’s a surprise,” jake replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. and when you smiled an inch, he felt like he was getting somewhere. “but i think it suits you. you’d be a great vet.”
your cheeks were burning. it was embarrassing and heartwarming at the same time to have your aspirations validated for once. it was too strange for you and you said, “i’m talking about myself too much. what about you? you said this was part-time. do you have a full-time job?”
“to be honest, i haven’t really worked a lot since i graduated. my parents own a lot of property in the state and this is just one of them. the others are better, i promise,” jake said.
for some reason, that made a lot of sense. jake seemed a little too extravagant for this sort of environment. “you know, that clears up a lot questions i had about you. but then, why work here instead of someplace better?”
“in case you haven’t noticed, hardly anyone comes out here.”
you snickered to yourself when you realized the appeal of working here for a guy like jake. fewer crowds, fewer interactions, and more excuses to be sleeping around with pretty girls instead of legitimately working.
“but i do work for certain things. i didn’t have everything handed to me,” jake said to clarify. “i’ve been trying to settle down. i know it doesn’t look like it right now, but i have. and i want to give my future family everything.”
that didn’t surprise you either, but it did garner your attention. “oh?”
jake nodded. “yup. my parents have been begging me to bring a girl home for three, four years now. they said that they know i’ll be married someday, but they’re not as confident that they’ll be around to see it.”
considering that jake did come across as slow and steady, for the most part at least, you laughed, because the only reason they weren’t right to be unconfident was jake’s good looks and charming personality.
you tossed an arm over him, peering into his eyes. “what’s stopping you?”
jake shrugged. if he had it his way, he would’ve brought someone home forever ago, but he’d found that few things went according to plan in his love life. “haven’t found the one, i guess.”
that was fair. you wanted a family too someday, but never in your life had you met somebody that you would let do more than kiss you, until jake.
“the thing with love is that it’s trial and error,” jake told you, coming from a place of obvious experience. “so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.”
“i wouldn’t know,” you mumbled. “i’ve never been in love.”
jake’s eyes fell down to your gorgeous hand that was resting above his happy trail and smiled to himself. “you will be, i’m sure. i think love is out there for all of us, patiently waiting.”
you furrowed your brows, like those were the last words you expected to here out of his mouth. “so, you’re one of those.”
the look on jake’s face matched yours. “one of what?”
“a hopeless romantic,” you sighed, but there was a smile on your face.
jake laughed. “i guess you could say that, but i just tell people that i’m ambitious.”
“well, mister ambitious,” you said, stifling a yawn. “i’m sleepy, and you’ve worn me out for one day. promise to tell me more about yourself tomorrow?”
jake nodded, then leaned in to kiss your cheek. “i promise. i get off early tomorrow, so we’ll have more time together. goodnight, baby.”
“goodnight, jake,” you whispered, snuggling into his chest.
like he couldn’t get enough of you, jake gave you one final kiss on your forehead before he turned off the lamp on the nightstand. he had his arms around you, your back flush against his chest, and you stayed that way until night’s end.
it was some of the best sleep you’d gotten in a long time. being in jake’s arms made you feel comfortable, protected. you weren’t certain why, but it was like no harm could reach you there. you were untouchable and you didn’t have to worry about anything.
when you woke up, you were surprised to still find him there, barely awake himself. “you’re still here?” you asked, unexpectant.
jake grinned at you when you turned to rest your head on his chest and replied groggily, “i thought i’d stay to hear your pretty voice one more time before i left.”
you rolled your eyes at his obvious flirting, but there was a huge beaming smile on your face and you were kissing him affectionately merely seconds later.
one thing lead to another. you swore you didn’t know how it happened. slow, sweet kisses were met by languid, intentional touches, until jake was on top of you, fucking every bit of sleepiness out of your body.
the tiniest moans escaped you as jake rocked his hips into you, slow and gentle, and you clung onto his forearms to anchor yourself back down to earth. he was whispering dirty little nothings in your ear, telling you how good you were to him, unraveling by the minute.
it just felt too good having him inside you, filling you to the hilt and making your bodies seem inseparable. you loved being tangled together, limb to limb, pleasuring each other like there was no other option. it was the first time you had craved someone so desperately.
you didn’t want to get out of bed when he was gone. you had all the energy in the world, but you were unfathomably sore. somehow, in a good way. you liked feeling the traces of jake in your bones long after he had slipped away.
deciding not to rot in bed while you waited for him to return, you got up to take a shower and rinse away the scent of sex from your body. it would be a while, anyway. jake had mentioned something about going back to his place for a minute.
part of you wanted to feel guilty for keeping him overnight, but you couldn’t. not when you knew that he had enjoyed it as much as you had. you wanted jake, and he wanted you. there were no doubts.
drying off, you noticed that you had used the last towel and you would need more to cover the last two days of your extended stay here. you got dressed and headed down to the main lobby, requesting some from the guy that had been working the desk since you got there.
you leaned against the wall while you waited, your thoughts naturally wandering off to jake and his handsome face and stupidly adorable dimples. and maybe his unthinkably talented cock, but only for a second or two. maybe three.
it was strange that he had been the only thing you knew your entire time here, and even then, you barely knew him. under different circumstances, you would have wanted to know all there was to know about jake. you would always remember him, even when he was forever gone.
“those towels you wanted,” said the guy working the desk, snapping you out of your daydream.
you walked up to the desk, smiling kindly as you accepted them. “thank you. sorry for the inconvenience.”
“it’s fine. have a good day,” he replied, smiling back suspiciously wide.
you didn’t comment on it, wishing him the same and heading for the door.
before you could reach it though, you heard his voice again. “by the way, i heard you getting it good when i was making my rounds,” he told you slyly. “how much for the inconvenience?”
dickhead, you thought. your smile dropped and you switched on a dime, shooting him a hefty glare. “i’m not for sale,” you grumbled, storming the fuck out of there.
god, why were the interactions you had with men at this motel getting increasingly weirder? had not jake been keeping you around, you would have been on the next train to boston days ago.
you were angry as hell at being propositioned for sex by some random stranger, but you tried to let it go. although you would definitely be ranting to jake about it later. speaking of, on the way back to your room, you noticed the door to one a few rooms down was ajar.
it was frequented by jake, you’d accidentally noticed. sometimes, you would see him come and go, way too often for any customers to be staying there.
you didn’t mean to pry. you had only gone up to check if he had already arrived, but there was no sight of him anywhere. the one thing that was clear was that he spent a hell of a lot of time here.
there weren’t too many things, considering he didn’t live there, but there were a couple of uneaten snacks sitting on the table. and a purple hair tie that you barely paid any mind to. on the nightstand, there was a framed picture of jake with some girl you’d never seen.
it seemed like they were pretty close, all things considered. he had an arm wound tightly around her, and her head was resting on his shoulder. you weren’t jealous, especially considering he looked nearly a decade younger in the picture, and you instead found it cute that he looked so different and not at the same time.
given the different trends at the time, his hair was in a completely different style. his cheeks were a little rounder. but he still had the same silly, goofy smile.
realizing what you were doing was definitely a major invasion of privacy, you scurried out of there with your towels and headed back to your room to restock.
jake came knocking way too many hours later, but the second you heard, you leapt up, swinging the door open and throwing them around his shoulders. “what took you so long?” you asked sullenly.
jake was pleasantly surprised by the abrupt display of affection, embracing you. “i decided to get everything done so that i could come straight to you, and didn’t have to leave.”
well, that made sense. when you pulled back, you noticed that he wasn’t in his uniform for a change. “this is my first time seeing you in normal person’s clothes. you look different. good different.”
“thanks, beautiful,” he replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. “may i come in?”
you stepped to the side, letting him enter, and shut the door behind him.
jake seemed amused when he noticed the television was on, showing some anthropology program he had never watched. “did i interrupt?”
it took you a second to realize what he meant, but when you did, you were all giggles. “no, you’re way more important.”
jake was glad to hear that. “by the way, did you have fun sneaking into my room?”
the sudden accusation startled you, but you didn’t deny what you had done. he somehow clearly already knew that you’d nosed around, and you weren’t one to make excuses nor lie. “that was rude. i should’ve asked for your permission. i’m sorry.”
something about your sincerity made jake smile and wave it off. “it’s fine. i don’t have anything to hide.”
either way, you still felt a little guilty. you wanted to ask him who that girl in the picture was, but you decided that you’d done enough snooping.
noticing the shame on your face, jake beckoned you over, commanding, “come here.” and when you promptly did as told, he smoothed his fingers through your hair and reassured, “i told you, it’s fine. forget about it. now, talk to me.”
you melted into jake’s touch, and forgave yourself, forgetting about what you had done, forgetting about all of the awful parts of your day that were no longer relevant now that you were comfortable in jake’s arms.
minutes turned into hours before you were ready for them to, and you almost couldn’t believe how easily you had made a friend out of jake. he was just so easy to talk to, getting you to confess about your less than happy past and chat about your hopes for the future like you were lifelong buddies.
and to your surprise, he made no attempt to try and sleep with you that night. it seemed that jake was fully intent on getting to know you for the young woman that you were.
every now and then, you got the feeling that he was more into you than it was safe for him to be, and more than you could fathom him being so quickly, and knowing that you would be leaving soon, it crushed you. no part of you wanted to see his face when it was time to say goodbye.
but when you woke up the next day, you were smiling. jake had slipped away, something about having errands to run unrelated to work, and you were counting down the seconds until he would come back.
it was your last full day together.
the thought saddened and excited you all at once, overwhelming you to the core. you had convinced yourself that although jake had made you feel something nobody else ever had, you would move on the second you got a step closer to bringing your dreams to fruition. but until then, you were a little heartbroken.
you had to be real with yourself for a second. could there be a way for a guy almost a decade older than you to be someone you spent the better half of your life with?
you didn’t think so. you and jake led different lives. and while you hoped he would soon find the girl he had long dreamed of, you knew that she wasn’t you.
who were you to keep him down, when he could be searching for her?
not to mention you weren’t even ready for such large of a commitment. you wanted to complete school and graduate, eight years of your life at least that you would be hard at work, studying your ass off. jake struck you as the marriage and kids kind of boy, none of which you were prepared for.
he’ll be fine. you’re acting like he’s in love with you or something, you told yourself, sitting on your empty bed. there was no way someone as handsome as jake hadn’t had his fair share of short-term flings.
at some point, you quickly became bored of waiting and decided to go on your phone, which you shockingly hadn’t been giving much attention lately. there were some texts from your friends, the only ones you had mentioned connecticut to, and you promptly messaged them back.
there weren’t any notifications from your family, but whether that was only because you blocked them or not, you didn’t know.
then, you opened google and started to search random questions, as you often did when there was nothing more exhilarating to do. you had a couple of questions about toothbrushes, a word your friend had sent that you had never seen before, and finally, the motel itself.
you didn’t know why you hadn’t googled any information about it sooner. most likely because you didn’t think you would be welcomed for so long, but either way, it should’ve been one of the first things you’d done.
out of weary curiosity, you typed the name of the motel into your search engine, and the first thing you saw was a picture of the front exterior.
the next thing you saw, however, was a little more appalling. there was a news article from a little more than a month ago reporting the death of a girl named alyssa gardner.
rose creek, named in memory of rose bellori who was found there after being tragically murdered thirty-eight years ago, suffers another victim, says local police department. twenty-four-year-old alyssa gardner was found in the creek three weeks after being reported missing. her last known location prior to her murder was rose creek motel, according to her bank statements.
once you read the first sentence, you couldn’t stop, remembering what that old man had told you about the bodies that turned up in the creek. and as you continued to look into the murder, you froze, reading something about how she had last been wearing a purple hair tie.
there had been a purple hair tie in jake’s room, you remembered, because it was on the table beside the snacks. it could have been a coincidence, but although his hair was long enough, you had never seen jake tie up his hair.
now you had to know. there was a picture of alyssa wearing the tie and it was so specific, there was no way you wouldn’t know if they were the same just by looking. but you had no clue how you would get in there. after your invasion yesterday, there was no way jake would reasonably make the mistake of leaving it open again, even if he claimed to have nothing to hide.
you slipped on your shoes, brainstorming on your way to the room, considering jake wouldn’t have been back for a few hours, according to himself. your first thought was the guy at the front desk, but if he did do you a favor, he would want something in return that wasn’t cheap. nor were you selling.
fortunately, another man started to walk by, an employee, judging by his uniform. “excuse me, sir,” you said, donning your most helpless voice. “is there a way you could help me get in this room? i left my key inside by mistake.”
obviously believing you, the man said, “yeah, of course. i have a general key card right here.”
and just that easily, he opened the door for you.
“thank you so much,” you told him, expressing your gratitude before closing the door to jake’s room behind yourself.
you felt bad for lying, but your gut was screaming at you right now and you were tempted to trust her now more than ever. you raced to the table, shoving the snack box out of the way, and gawking in horror when you found what you were looking for.
it was the purple hair tie, and not only was it the exact same color and design as you had seen in the picture, but there were traces of hair on it that didn’t match the dark color on jake’s head.
you backed away, the blood freezing over in your veins. the shock was too cruel, too icy, and there were a billion thoughts racing through your mind.
but at the forefront of them all, you were thinking, i’ve got to get the fuck out of here.
you stepped out of the room, clearing the hallway before you made a beeline for yours, making a call and shoving your things into your suitcase. you weren’t supposed to be leaving until tomorrow, but you figured it was in your best interest to escape before things had the opportunity to go wrong.
there was no time to think about how your judgment could have been so awful, because all you wanted to do was go far, far away from this place, where you would finally be safe from all the things in this world that wanted to hurt you.
the second your belongings were packed, you checked out at the front desk, noticing that the dude from yesterday was strangely no longer there, replaced by a woman you had never seen before. but you didn’t ask questions, didn’t press.
because the second you were free to go, you were dragging your suitcase to the road and praying that uber would get here before jake could.
until you felt something cold pressing into your back, and every bone in your body went stiff. “leaving without saying goodbye?” asked a familiar voice, coming out of nowhere.
tears began to sting your eyes, fear making your blood run cold. you couldn’t see him, but your whole body knew who it was. “please.”
“let’s take a walk,” jake said nonchalantly, pointing with the hand that wasn’t discreetly holding a gun to your back.
given the circumstances, there was no way in hell that you wouldn’t do as told. you walked to the right of the motel with your suitcase in tow, far out of sight of any cameras that might’ve been privy to your predicament, willing yourself to breathe lest you fell apart then and there.
it had never been more of a struggle to walk, and it was like you had nearly forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other. your brain was hyper aware of the weapon not even an inch away from you.
through your blurry vision, you could make out a car coming into view. jake asked, “do you have your license?”
you nodded, afraid to speak.
“good. this suitcase could’ve been you,” jake said, taking the suitcase out of your hands to throw into the trunk. “you’re driving.”
you swallowed the lump in your throat. it terrified you how indifferent jake seemed, walking you over to the driver’s side of the car and opening the door for you, meanwhile you looked as if you had seen a ghost.
only when he got in on the other side did he hand over the keys, still pointing the gun at you and calmly ordering, “drive. i’ll tell you where to go.”
and that was exactly what he did, telling you directions as you made every turn he told you to, not that there were very many.
every second was spent fighting tears and trying to keep your thoughts from racing. you could’ve never seen something like this coming. you had felt so safe, so secure around jake, and now he was threatening you with a weapon.
god, you didn’t even want to think about what he was going to do to you. would he murder you in cold blood like that girl in the news article?
your first thought was to try and coax your way out of it. as if killers listened to logic and reasoning, outside of their own. “jake, you don’t have to do this. you can let me go.”
jake laughed, although you were dead serious. “so that you can go straight to the police? or worse, leave me here by myself?”
“it doesn’t have to be like that,” you whispered. “i like you a lot, jake.”
“i like you a lot, too. that’s why i have to do this, darling.”
“i don’t understand.”
“i know,” jake replied coolly. “it’ll all make sense soon.”
that statement didn’t make you feel any better. instead, you were enveloped by a deep feeling of cold dread, sensing that the worst had yet to come and you needed to brace yourself for the inevitable.
no more than thirty minutes of driving later, jake told you to pull into the driveway of some house along the creek. you wanted to scream when he pulled you out of the car, but the house you were at was isolated from the rest of the world. nobody would have ever heard you even if the cry came from the very tip of your lungs.
but you noticed that he had left his gun in the car.
you tried to break out of his grasp, but jake was tremendously stronger than you, and he didn’t seem to like your actions much, hissing, “i don’t want to hurt you, but don’t think i won’t.”
no part of you believed that he didn’t want to hurt you, not even for a second. “let me go. i want to go home!”
“no, you don’t,” jake shot back, tightening his clasp on your bicep. “you want to be anywhere but there. don’t act like i haven’t been doing you a favor.”
“don’t act like you know me,” you snapped, still trying to wrest your way out of his hold.
jake laughed, but it was mirthless. “honey, i do know you. you told me enough about you. i know what you like, and what you don’t like, and how vicious your parents are to you. i know that you don’t ever want to go back home.”
you didn’t know what was worse between being here right now and being home, and that thought made ache spring into your chest ravishingly.
“i should’ve known you’d find out sooner than i’d hoped,” jake said. “you’re a smart woman, but that’s one of the many things i love about you.”
tears continued to well your eyes, but they were angry now. “let go of me!”
jake began to become exasperated, dragging you over to the edge of the creek, but you didn’t stop demanding to be freed, flailing and thrashing.
not until you finally exclaimed, “if you’re going to kill me, then kill me already!”
to your surprise, that made jake root in place for a moment or two. “i think you’re confused.”
you were glaring up at him. “wasn’t that your plan?”
for an unsettling amount of time, jake just stared at you emptily. then, he began to laugh heartily, amused to no end. “now why on earth would i want to do that?” he asked.
you said nothing, startled and baffled altogether.
jake smiled at you. the sight warmed your heart no more than a day ago, but now, you were thoroughly unnerved. “baby, you’re perfect. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted. you may be a little younger than i usually go for, but maybe that’s where i went wrong. with you, it’s not too late to fix the little things. like all this resistance.”
nothing could have prepared you for the sudden change in him, for him to throw you to the ground and submerge your head underneath the water of the creek.
it felt and sounded like the whole world had stopped for a moment before the panic started to settle in cruelly, and you inhaled more water than you had been prepared to. your body desperately missed air, and every time it tried to breathe, only more water entered your mouth.
when jake yanked you back up by your hair, you spat out a load of water, and began to cough. he asked, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing. you couldn’t at that point.
jake took it as defiance and lowered your head back underneath the water again, giving you no time to recover from the previous plunge, and your entire body fought against it, but your efforts were in vain.
and like before, he pulled you up and asked, “learn your lesson?”
“fuck you,” you spat as belligerently as you could between breaths, even though it hurt to talk.
jake said nothing, throwing your head back down.
at this point, your lungs were scorching and your nose was burning. your chest was smoldering with pain and panic and everything in between. helpless, your mind was begging for mercy, but the more you prayed for the water to escape, the more you inhaled.
your muscles were screaming for air and you genuinely thought that you were going to die, that this was the end. you would never know the life you had long dreamed of, the life you had risked everything to have, and the one you had always wanted.
it felt like an eternity had passed when jake brought you back up to the surface and asked you again boredly, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing, spitting out more bursts of water and gasping for breaths that burned your throat.
jake was about to submerge you again, but at the very last second, you blurted, “okay, okay! i’m sorry. i learned my lesson!”
“good,” jake said, pulling you up and dusting his hands off. “let’s go inside.”
you didn’t dare disobey, letting him lead you inside the house, which you assumed he owned. there wasn’t any time to marvel at the sheer beauty of it before he was tugging you downstairs to the basement where there was already a mattress waiting for you.
whether that had been prepared for you, or leftovers from the last victim, you didn’t want to know.
jake took one look at your flushed, tear-stained face and softened. he brought a finger to your cheek, but you lurched away from him, like a startled animal in a cage. which, to be fair, wasn’t too far from the truth.
he frowned. “i wish you didn’t have to be so nosy, baby. i didn’t want you to see me any differently than before.”
it’s too late for that, you huffed to yourself. you fell to the ground beside the mattress, hugging your knees.
jake glanced down at you sighing, debating coming over to join you, but decided against it. for now. “but you don’t have to worry anymore. you’re safe with me. nothing can hurt you as long as i’m here. god, i’ve made sure of it. it angered me to no end when i saw that guy in the lobby flirting with you.”
you immediately remembered what had happened in that lobby, something you had been intent to mention to him but forgot, and the blood drained from your face. “what did you do to him?” you asked.
“what do you think?”
you shook your head. no wonder there had been another person working the front desk earlier. you hugged your knees tighter and cried, “he was just some jerk, jake. you didn’t need to kill him.”
“yes, i did. i would kill anyone who ever dare dreamed of touching you,” jake insisted darkly.
now that you thought about it even harder, there was no reason for jake to even know that that whole ordeal went down in the first place. he hadn’t been there when it happened. you slowly glanced up, asking, “how did you… know?”
jake chuckled. “because i’ve been watching you, silly. how else?”
no shame, no guilt. he seemed proud of himself, grinning from ear to ear. the sight made you sick, but not as sick as it did to know that he had been essentially spying on you in his free time. you remembered, only a few days ago, asking him if the cameras were really functioning.
your stomach churned. that was why he always seemed to know where you were, to always drop into the places you were. that was how he knew you has been in his room, and how he knew you were fleeing.
even though you felt like vomiting the more information you learned, you needed to know the truth. “why did you kill that girl?”
“which one?” jake asked, which made your heart stop in absolute terror. “if you’re talking about alyssa, i found out she was addicted to drugs. god, everything was going so smoothly until all of that.”
if you could’ve convinced yourself that you were only in a nightmare, you would have, but the pain in your chest and throat was too aggressive. “i bet you killed that girl in the picture too,” you replied hoarsely.
jake’s eyes darkened, but it was less anger and more of a morose kind of emotion. “no, that’s not true. she died in a car accident.”
given the pain tensing his features, you believed him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to have any sympathy.
jake continued, “we were eighteen and we had just graduated. she was the girl everyone wanted me to be with, and the one i thought would always be with. then one day, she was just gone. i’ll never forget getting that phone call in the middle of the night.”
the words he used made you remember something. you had asked him what his first time was like, and jake had told you something along the lines of it being with someone he thought he would spend forever with.
that was her, the girl he had loved and lost.
“i’m sorry you went through that,” you whispered, feeling as though you were obligated to console him in some way.
“i am, too,” jake mumbled. “but life goes on. and i found you. god, you don’t know how many times i had to go through this to find you, but it’s over now. you remind me of her a lot.”
you froze in your own skin, suddenly having an epiphany. you didn’t understand before, why jake was doing all this, but it was all coming together now.
life may have moved on, but jake had not. instead of getting over the girl he had lost so many years ago, he was trying to recreate her, to get her back in some sick, twisted way. you would be the vessel needed to resuscitate her, and the girls before you were the other candidates that didn’t meet the mark.
he had told you that. not outright, but it was what he’d meant, and the confession went right over your head. so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.
jake wasn’t killing girls out of some sadistic hatred. matter of fact, he didn’t even want to kill them, but he felt obligated to eliminate the unworthy. he was killing because they ultimately didn’t meet his standards.
which implied that someway, somehow, you did. as he put it, you were everything he’d ever wanted.
“why me?” you asked, rubbing your eyes clear of tears.
jake at last approached you, and although you wanted to back away and hide, there was nowhere for you to go. “easy. from what you’ve told me, you’re the black sheep of your family. you didn’t even tell them where you were going. nobody is going to look for you. nobody will miss you. you’re perfect.”
those words were crueler than he intended for them to be, but jake wanted to be truthful with you, because that was the key to a long-lasting relationship. he wouldn’t hide from you, and he wouldn’t allow you to hide from him. you would be perfectly honest with each other.
“we’re going to have kids together someday,” jake rambled, holding your cheeks in his hands gingerly, almost with affection. “i’m going to take you to meet my parents, and they’re going to love you, because i love you. and we’re going to stay in this house.”
you glanced around. “here?”
jake sported a beaming smile. “it’s perfect, isn’t it? you love nature, and we’ll live right here along the creek. it’ll be just like how you grew up, except you’ll be accepted here.”
perfect, you repeated in your head bitterly. jake seemed to be as obsessed with that word as he was with you. he couldn’t stop saying it, and that revealed even more about his intentions the more he used it.
noticing the tension in your face, jake squeezed your hand and tried to console you. “don’t worry, i’m not going to keep you from your dreams. but you’re going to stay in this basement until you understand that you belong to me, and i belong to you.”
“i’m not your fucking property,” you hissed with unadulterated vitriol.
obviously, jake was growing exhausted of having to put up with your less than meek behavior, and before you could apologize, he hauled you up and tossed you onto the bed. you made a tiny, broken noise when he began to squeeze your throat instead. “i will whip you into shape if i have to,” jake growled. “i will fuck you into shape, everyday, if that’s what it takes, dear. i already made up my mind. you’re mine and i won’t let anyone else have you.”
your throat still ached from the pain of nearly drowning three times over, sorely pleading for quiet remorse, but jake was nothing short of committed. he would stop at nothing to bend you into submission, no matter the price needed, because when he wanted something enough, there was nobody that could tell him that it wasn’t his for the reaping.
not his parents, not you, not anyone.
true to his word, jake began to force one his hands underneath your pleaded skirt. he liked that you wore them, initially because he found them strangely cute on you, but now because of the easy access he had to everything he wanted.
you thrashed again enervatedly, sore from head to toe, but you told yourself endlessly that you weren’t a quitter. you couldn’t let him break you, not until he had broken all the fight out of you first. it would go against everything you stood for, everything you believed.
“behave,” jake said. “behave, or you’ll only make it worse on yourself.”
you roared expletives into his palm that jake couldn’t understand, nor did he bother to. not after he had caught a glimpse of your precious cunt and he had already begun to imagine making sweet love to you. the lingering picture was all he could think of.
how you had gripped his biceps, brows tensing together, calling out his name and his name only. jake knew you reciprocated his pining. he had seen the proof, felt it dripping and pulsing around his cock, milking his release out of him even quicker than he had hoped.
and really, honestly, jake didn’t want to hurt you or cause you any needless pain. one day, you would understand that he was only doing this from of a place of love and endearment. you gasped for breath when the hand on your throat finally slackened, sucking in the sharpest one you had ever inhaled, and could feel the basement reeling.
while you were busy blinking the misty daze out of your eyes, jake ran a hand between your legs, touching your clit. “jake, stop,” you rasped.
“shh, let me make you feel good,” jake crooned softly in your ear.
it was maddening that your body still reacted fondly to his deep voice and tender touches, and you hated every second of it. you resisted him, pressing your thighs together, but it took little to nothing for jake to spread them apart again, and your body naturally liked his strength, too.
still, you tried to swat his hand away. now that you knew the truth of who he was really was, what he really was, you couldn’t stand to let a monster like jake to touch you.
jake sighed irritably, and the look on his face made you shudder. “you’re just going to keep being a bitch about it, aren’t you?”
he only wanted to pleasure you, for fuck’s sake. why wouldn’t you let him?
“i don’t want this,” you whimpered, peering up at jake as you welled up with tears.
“yes, you do,” jake told you, as if he was trying to convince you of something you already knew wasn’t true. “you do want it. remember?”
you shook your head, defiant. “that was before. it’s different now.”
“nothing has changed between us.”
“everything has changed!” you cried out, bursting into sobs. “you’re not who i thought you were. you… hurt me.”
“i didn’t want to. i promise that i didn’t, honey,” jake whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead. “and the sooner you listen to me, the sooner i can make you feel better.”
he started to do exactly that, returning between your legs, this time sticking his face beneath your skirt. jake went to town, pulling out all the stops that he remembered had you singing his praises.
not a moment later, you slumped in defeat, too weak from your unwanted orgasm to deny him any longer. jake smirked when he noticed you twitching from the aftershocks, licking his wet lips that had gotten soaked with your arousal.
“that’s it, baby,” jake said, proud of himself. he liked worshiping you, and even if you didn’t want to admit it, he knew he brought you to elysian heights. “ready to take my cock?”
you shook your head wearily, but jake didn’t believe you. only the day before yesterday, you had been so eager.
“come on, don’t be that way. you know you love this dick,” jake said. he had never looked more sure of himself, not hesitating to step out of his clothes.
although you wanted nothing more than to defy him, to spring up and make a beeline for the nearest door, you couldn’t bring yourself to. there wasn’t even time for you to tell him to stop before jake was spreading you open, prodding your entrance with the head of his cock.
and you were so wet that in spite of his size, he slipped inside with ease.
jake grunted at the first push of his cock inside you, slowly coaxing his way deeper. he slipped his fingers through yours, knowing that you liked to use his hand to anchor yourself because you quickly got overwhelmed by his size.
but he noticed that each time you were taking him even better, and jake liked the thought of successfully breaking you in. to him, it was the perfect fit. it was a sign that you were made for him to fuck and breed. your vice-like walls were gushing around him, kneading him, swallowing him whole. only him.
“that’s good, baby. don’t run from it,” jake crooned in your ears before sealing your lips together.
jake didn’t notice that you weren’t kissing him back. when his eyes were closed and he was buried some inches deep inside your pussy, it became easier to convince himself anything. because you may have denied him, but jake thought the body never lied, and yours was calling out to him.
the weight of your body rocked in tandem with his thrusts and jake, wanting a better view of you, started to tug your shirt off. he already knew how to make you weak for him, sucking at your breasts.
every cry of protest you made fell on deaf ears, because all jake heard was that familiar breathlessness in your voice when he was making you feel good.
and that was more than enough to jake. because if he had you, and you had him, nothing else mattered. why would you need some other guy in some faraway place when he had made you feel things you never knew you were even capable of?
he never even thought about how of those feelings he had plucked out of you, something could’ve completely overpowered any pleasant feelings you ever had.
it surprised you when jake grinded to a halt and pulled out of you, but you should’ve known better than to think he was finished. “get on top of me,” jake told you, overcome by memories. “i want you to ride me. like how you rode me that day.”
jake had this dazed look in his eyes that made him look more dangerous and unhinged than he ever had, and that was the sole reason you were so quick to scramble on top of him, but jake smiled, because he only saw it as unadulterated desire.
you grabbed his shoulders as you forced yourself to mount him, his hands slipping down to your backside, supporting you with his palms. it hadn’t been too long since they were someplace you could feel secure for the first time in a long while. and now that comfort was gone, and you had nowhere else to go, nothing else to turn to but yourself.
maybe you had been naive to think that someone could genuinely, truthfully like you. whatever jake felt for you, or at least thought that he did, was purebred obsession and without it there would be nothing left.
it was the one thing keeping you breathing, and yet the one thing killing you slowly.
something wet dripped onto the pillar of jake’s shoulder and he saw that you were sobbing. tears of pleasure, he told himself. he remembered the wet glaze in your stare when the two of you had fucked the other day, too. nothing as theatrical as this, though he was certain it didn’t make a difference.
but jake wasn’t afraid to hurt you, that much was clear. he may not have particularly liked it anymore than you did, but he would use it to justify everything. it’s okay if it hurts, because love hurts, he would console himself, telling himself that you would be okay.
“one day you’ll understand that i’m doing this because i want what’s best for us,” jake whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “i’ll make you happy every day until you die. anything you could ever want, i’ll make it happen, i promise.”
the way he spoke, you knew that he believed it in his very bones, and that only made it scarier. someway, somehow, jake had convinced himself that you were god walking, and now you weren’t sure what lengths he wouldn’t go to for your sake.
tenderly kissing your jaw, jake continued, “i love you.”
you shook your head, knowing that it wasn’t true. “you can’t love me, jake. it’s only been five days.”
jake disagreed. he thought he had loved you from the second he laid eyes on you, a beautiful girl ambling along the creek line. he could smell your sweet scent on him and it made him remember catching you in his arms, pulling you close, and breathing you in for the first time. “i loved you long before i met you. you may not feel it right now, but you will soon. i’ll make sure of it.”
you exhaled a breath. there was no arguing with a mad man.
“i’ll make sure you’ll never want to live without me again,” jake whispered, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “that you can’t live without me.”
all you wanted was to get away from him. you were wishing you would’ve never came here, never gave him or this godforsaken place the time of day.
jake was nearing the threshold of what he could take and it was plain on his face. you weren’t fucking yourself on him with the same about of fervor as you had in the none too distant past, but he was too close to the edge to complain, driving his hips upwards into yours.
he was no longer listening to the pleas falling from between your lips, imagining that you were begging for him never to stop, never to let go of you. because he knew that deep down, that was what you wanted. you would get over these temporary, tiny frustrations. the same way he had gotten over them over and over.
did you think it was all fun and games for him? if you knew how many times he had been crushed and disappointed, how many times he had to let of something he wanted more than anything, you would finally understand that there nobody who understood you more than jake.
in a way, you were completing each other. he would give you the family you needed, and you would give him the relationship he always wanted.
“jake, you have to pull out,” you said to him, remembering he had gone in without a condom. “you have to…”
“shh,” jake shushed you, pressing your back to the mattress again, and seizing control.
when you tried to speak, jake just clamped his hand over your mouth to keep you silent and pliant, wanting to hear none of it. “didn’t i tell you? we’re going to build a family together, right here in this house.”
there was total, chaotic horror in your eyes. you hadn’t thought he meant so soon, so quickly. you were barely an adult and still sometimes felt like a child yourself, and you tried to tell him as much, but every word bled together and died on his palm.
with a few more unrelenting smacks of his hips into yours, jake leaned over and clamped his teeth into your shoulder as he came. and when he stilled, he kissed you, ignoring the taste of tears that had ran onto your lips.
“it’ll always be you and me now,” he panted, breathless. “you can’t leave me. you can’t.”
you lay there, helpless and hopeless, feeling something like bile scorching up your throat as you stared at him in disbelief.
“i’ll fuck you every day, i will,” jake said with every bit of conviction. “if it means that one of those days, i put a baby in you.”
there was nothing that you could say that your face wasn’t already saying for you. never in your life had you felt more used and violated, and that said a lot.
and jake didn’t seem to be bothered. he lay down beside your shaking body, tightening his arms around you, loving the way the layers of sweat made you stick to each other, and made you a dirty promise. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of you both,” he said. “i swear.”
you closed your eyes, screaming inside your head, but having none of the strength to really do it. he had stolen it from you, stolen everything from you. your body wasn’t your own anymore.
“say it,” jake prompted, nibbling gently at your neck. “say you love me.”
you didn’t, and there wasn’t a single bone in your body that did, but jake terrified you now. this would haunt you more than the gun pressed to your back, or the throwing your head underwater. compared to now, those things seemed mild.
so you sucked in a breath, trying to will yourself to stay still even though there was no possible way with how close he was to you, and you lied, “i love you.”
jake grinned from ear to ear. “i know.”
#enha jake smut#jake sim smut#jake sim x reader#jake sim x you#enhypen jake smut#enhypen smut#enha smut#enhypen jaeyun#sim jaeyun smut#sim jaeyun x reader#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen x you#enhypen ff#enhypen fanfiction#jake sim fanfic#enha imagines#enha ff
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what's my age again? // smau
a/n: happy (early) birthday scorpi anonnnn i hope youre still awake to see this lmao
keigo takami, touya todoroki, tomura shigaraki
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#mha#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#mha smau#dabi#touya todoroki#touya todoroki x reader#dabi x reader#hawks#takami keigo#keigo tamaki#hawks x reader#keigo takami x reader#shigaraki tomura#tomura shigaraki#shigaraki x reader#tomura x reader#tomura shigiraki x reader#keigo x reader#mha touya#hawks mha#mha tomura#tenko shimura#touya x reader#keigo takami#takami x reader#mha shigaraki
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age gap | daniel ricciardo social media au
pairing: daniel ricciardo x fem reader
you are an influencer who starts dating older f1 driver daniel ricciardo
masterlist
y/n.user
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liked by danielricciardo, yourbff1 and 567,930 others
caption: my life since the rumours
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yourbff1: the rumours are kinda funny tho
y/n.user: yeah.. "rumours"
user73: DOES THIS MEAN THAT THE RUMOURS ARE TRUE?
user62: what rumours?!
danielricciardo: xx
user83: daniel?
user2: wait... the rumours are that he and y/n are dating, right?
user74: yeah
daniel.jpg
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 123,938 others
caption: rumours confirmed
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maxverstappen1: this is how i get to know your girlfriend?
daniel.jpg: sorryy maximilian
landonorris: isn't she too young? you old man
daniel.jpg: she has an old soul
y/n.user: DANIEL
landonorris: hey y/n. I'm lando btw
y/n.user: hey lando
user73: omg they are actually so cute together
user46: lmao she's just using him
user9: weird
user525: she's still a child omg
y/n.user: oh I wish. But thanks for compliment that I look young
user3: she slayed
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landonorris
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liked by danielricciardo, y/n.user and 567,939 others
caption: if you go out with daniel and y/n, be prepared for daniel carrying her around...
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danielricciardo: she's always tired.. not my fault
y/n.user: ME? u always want to carry me
danielricciardo: not true
y/n.user: I'm done with you
landonorris: first couple fight?
danielricciardo: yeah..
user66: I'm starting to like them together
y/n.user: good taste
user3: idk but it's still weird
user2: she's so young
y/n.user: no wayyy
yourbff1: they are so cute
y/n.user: <3
y/n.user
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liked by danielricciardo, yourbff1 and 1,839,378 others
caption: I bought daniel new t-shirts so he can wear them to the paddock (haters will love these)
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landonorris: poor danny boy
danielricciardo: I actually love them
maxverstappen1: no way
y/n.user: @ kellypiquet Kelly buy some t-shirt for max too. Atleast he doesn't have to repeat outfits
user63: poor daniel.. she's manipulating him
danielricciardo: I literally picked those t-shirts
user73: daniel and y/n are the best couple. Argue with the wall
yourbff3: omg i love you for this babe
y/n.user: I ate
user77: u did!
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y/n.user
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liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1 and 578,838 others
caption: enjoyed my first gp, and now it's summer break
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user83: most hated but the best couple award goes to... y/n and daniel
y/n.user: thanks I guess
danielricciardo: our shoey was 🔥
y/n.user: hell yeah
landonorris: what about me and you daniel? :(
danielricciardo: sorry lando
maxverstappen1: why is daniel acting like a teenager again
y/n.user: cause I changed him
user38: you really did
user3: I love this new version of danny
y/n.user: me too
danielricciardo
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liked by maxverstappen1, landonorris and 673,939 others
caption: enjoying summer break with the best people. y/n can drink!! I'm not serving alcohol to minors
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user83: daniel and his humour lol
y/n.user: baby u know that I can drink for a long time right?
danielricciardo: uhm of course
landonorris: he probably forgot your birthday
user63: yall stop hating and be happy for them
maxverstappen1: u kidnapped child?
danielricciardo: that's my nephew u idiot
maxverstappen1: oh sorry
y/n.user
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liked by maxverstappen1, danielricciardo and 345,388 others
caption: I want to have kids. Look at my man. He's so girl dad coded
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user73: uhm does she know that this is public account?
danielricciardo: Y/N?!
maxverstappen1: lol
maxverstappen1: @ danielricciardo u have a lot of work to do
danielricciardo: mate, kelly wants another kid too so shut up
user3: omg danny ric kid?
y/n.user: I hope
BONUS:
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/64feddbbfae43611d67550f615968313/0ee8f200992d3c25-8b/s1280x1920/e95ad1abe02690363c5166021e22cec970e49d64.jpg)
#f1#formula 1#formula 1 x reader#formula one#formula one smau#formula one x reader#daniel ricciardo#daniel riccardo x reader#daniel riccardo imagine#daniel ricciardo x reader#daniel ricciardo x you#daniel ricciardo x female reader#daniel ricciardo x max verstappen#max verstappen#charles leclerc#charles leclerc smut#charles leclerc x female reader#charles leclerc x reader#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#formula one x you#red bull racing#dr3#daniel ricciardo fluff#daniel ricciardo smut#x yn#formula 1 smau#alternative#alternative universe#lando norris
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rose creek motel
pairing ↠ jaehyun x (f) reader
genre .. warnings ↠ smut, age gap (18+), drowning, noncon, baby trapping, unprotected sex, oral, angst
summary ↠ after eighteen years of complying with the rules of your domineering parents, you finally decide it’s time to wipe the slate clean and move away. rose creek motel is nothing in the grand scheme of your life, especially with a history of serial killers lurking around, but when you meet jaehyun, you decide that you’re not in any hurry after all.
wc ↠ 15.8k (i…dont Know)
a/n ↠ okay tbh i intended for the last smut scene to be Darker but you have to understand i was listening to horizon and forever only giggling and smiling and shit. cut me some slack pls. before you read, heed the warnings. i do not intend to glorify age gaps or predatory behaviors.
don’t like it, don’t read.
after a three-hour train ride to another city and another hour of wandering, you were thrilled to stumble across a motel before dusk. at first, there didn’t seem to be any nearby.
it was a smaller one, not part of any major chains throughout the country. there didn’t appear to be many staff nor customers. there was one dude who checked you in at the front desk and maybe a handful of cars in the lot.
not that it mattered. you wouldn’t be here long enough to be concerned about the sheer size of the place. a few days, maybe less, but certainly not more. the grand city of newark was waiting for you and you were borderline impatient to get there. but on the other hand, you wanted to savor this little trip.
it would mark the first of your own, and the true beginning of your lifelong journey to find yourself.
any other person most likely would have been desperate to kick off their shoes and head to their room for the night, but the creek across the road from the motel caught your eye. you rushed over in spite of your aching feet as though it wouldn’t be there tomorrow, ambling along the riverbank.
the waters rushed and crashed into slew of rocks, and you closed your eyes as you took in the sound. you could hear birds singing late afternoon songs and the rustling of trees in the early march spring.
footsteps behind you startled you out of your peace. your foot slipped and your body lurched forward. had not a pair of big, burly arms clasped around you tightly, you would have slipped into the tiny creek.
you glanced up in shock, meeting a handsome pair of innocent eyes. “sorry, i didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, pulling you away from the bank.
when you were safely on your own feet again, the handsome stranger released you. you straightened your skirt and smiled up at him. “it’s fine. thank you for catching me.”
“no problem. it would have been my fault if you fell.” he introduced, “i’m jaehyun. i work at the motel across here.”
you glanced back at the motel, as if you hadn’t seen it before. “oh,” you said, surprised. but the uniform clinging to him gave that away. “not much staff, huh?”
jaehyun smiled. he had deep, adorable dimples. “well, we are a pretty small motel. we do what we can with what we have.”
“do you get a lot of visitors?”
“usually just people with a road trip gone bad,” jaehyun said. “i’d ask what a girl like you is doing out here by yourself, but i don’t want to seem like a creep.”
you laughed, wondering how that would be possible. when you were as handsome as this boy was, it would’ve been more difficult. “no, it’s okay. i’m actually not having a car trouble. i got here by train. i’m on my way to newark.”
“newark,” jaehyun repeated, seemingly interested. “where from?”
“boston,” you chirped. “i’m starting afresh. my birthday was a few days ago and as my parents like to put it, i’ve ‘gone rogue.’”
jaehyun’s eyes went a little wider in surprise. “happy belated birthday,” he said. “how old are you now?”
you shrugged, deciding not to reveal too much information. you were maybe naive to a fault, but not a complete idiot. “that’s a secret. i’m an adult, though.”
jaehyun snickered. “that’s obvious. you checked yourself into the motel, didn’t you?”
well, that was true. but the exterior of the building seemed so shady, you’d initially doubted they would even bother with identification. you were grateful they didn’t require you to be twenty-one. a second longer of wandering and you would have collapsed on the side of the road.
ignoring his question, you gave one of your own. “how old are you?”
mocking you, jaehyun put a finger to his lip and said, “that’s a secret. but i’m an adult, too.”
you shook your head, but there was an amused smile on your face. “fair enough,” you mumbled, turning towards the creek.
jaehyun’s attention shifted with yours. “it’s called rose creek, our namesake,” he told you. “not much to see out here.”
“that’s not true,” you disagreed. “there’s a ton to see in nature. you just have to open your eyes and look.”
jaehyun seemed amused, giving you a look.
noticing his furrowed brows, you pointed towards the middle of the water. “look,” you said softly. “there’s a cute little baby turtle right there. they love creeks, because they’re an easy place to find tasty victims.”
jaehyun’s eyes focused, landing on what he had thought was a rock and only noticed upon further inspection was indeed a turtle, chilling in its leathery shell. “damn, you’ve got a good eye.”
you giggled. “i grew up near a creek. you learn to pick up on those sort of things.”
“ah,” jaehyun replied, nodding his understanding. “should we name it?”
“what would we name it?”
jaehyun shrugged. “squirtle.”
that almost prompted you to roll your eyes. “that’s too cliché.”
“then, what do you suggest?” jaehyun asked with a grin, crossing his arms.
“i don’t know,” you mumbled. “donatello.”
jaehyun snickered. “and that’s any better?”
you threw up your hands. “okay. fine. how about… archie.”
well, that was different from the other suggestions. “why archie?”
“because turtles remind me of that one studio ghibli film about the red turtle,” you told him, lowering your head shyly as you explained yourself. “and when i think of red, i think of that guy from riverdale.”
“isn’t that that show about teens dying?”
you shrugged. “don’t know. never watched it.”
something about that was amusing to jaehyun and he decided that your suggestion was fitting. “alright. then, archie it is.”
you beamed.
“well, it’s getting dark. i don’t think i have to tell you not to wander too late. you seem like a smart girl,” jaehyun said.
you glanced around at the shadows falling onto the rustling trees and the last gleams of today’s light shimmering on the creek. “you’re right. i should head up,” you replied, turning to face him. “have a good night, jaehyun.”
when you turned away, jaehyun realized he never got your name.
after a long night of trying to catch up on some much-needed sleep, you decided to head down to the pool. it was nice to see a motel with a couple of accommodations. they would make a good enough resting spot before you returned to your travels tomorrow.
there were a number of lounge chairs facing the pool, but instead you chose to climb into a hammock a few feet away from it. it was a nice spring day, neither too hot nor too cold, and you folded your arms behind your head while fighting the urge to close your eyes.
there weren’t a lot of people staying at or near the hotel, so you weren’t surprised to be alone. to think of it, you hadn’t seen anyone but a couple of staff. although you did walk past a room blasting heavy rock.
you heard footsteps, and turned to see jaehyun, sporting his burgundy uniform. he had a cart of towels, probably coming to restock. “jaehyun,” you called out.
jaehyun blinked up in surprise, likely not expecting to see you there. but when he did, he smiled and started to step over. “hey,” he said, digging his hands in his pockets. “you never told me your name.”
“whoops. silly me,” you replied, then told him your name.
you watched him process it, as if he was deciding in his head whether he liked it or not. he repeated it quietly to himself and said, “that’s very pretty.”
“thanks,” you replied, bursting into giggles. “how’s work going so far?”
“oh, you know,” jaehyun started, gesturing over to his cart with his shoulder. “nothing new. i never thought i would complain about not having enough work to do.”
you snorted. “i get what you mean. i was a camp counselor one summer. those kids drove me mad, you know. but when they were gone, i cried.”
there was a shimmer in jaehyun’s eyes. “do you like kids?”
“yeah. they can be a handful, but they’re delightful. honestly, i don’t trust anyone who doesn’t like kids. how can you be mad at someone so innocent and full of life?”
jaehyun nodded his agreement. “i realized a long time ago that people who don’t like kids are always bitter and unhappy with their own lives.”
that made you snicker, and the more you thought about it, he was probably right. “look at that. projection at its finest.”
“can i ask a personal question?”
“sure,” you said reluctantly. “what’s on your mind?”
jaehyun seemed to hesitate, battling with himself in his head for a long minute before he asked, “would you ever have kids?”
that wasn’t so bad of a question. you hummed, not really having to think about it. you already knew your answer. “i’ve dreamt of settling down and having kids with the right person since i was young.”
jaehyun gawked a bit. “really?”
“yes, really,” you told him, laughing at his astonishment. “i guess you can say i’ve always had big dreams. is that surprising?”
“no, it’s…,” jaehyun trailed, finding no words. “those big dreams of yours. they couldn’t happen in boston?”
now that was a bit more personal. you blew out a breath. “well,” you began, glancing at the unnervingly still pool. “i just wanted a new environment.”
jaehyun was tempted to press, to figure you out even more, but he didn’t want to risk startling you off. “maybe you were fated to stop by a really old motel in the middle of nowhere.”
“and meet you?”
something about that made jaehyun smile. you were so smart. “and meet me,” he repeated.
by now, you knew that jaehyun was kind of into you, the same way you were kind of into him. so, you decided to test the waters. “too bad that i’m leaving tomorrow,” you murmured quietly.
jaehyun heard you, and he frowned, though there was nothing he could do. it’s not like he expected you to put your whole life on hold for a guy you’d just met.
or maybe there was something he could do. “what if i gave you a couple of days on the house?” jaehyun asked.
your eyes flitted up at his deep brown pair. “really?”
jaehyun nodded. “what’s a few days?”
he had a solid point there. what was a few days? newark would still be there later on, and plus you had been taking your sweet time to make it there anyways. you weren’t in a hurry to get to this new life.
“then, i guess i’d stay,” you said, grinning wildly.
jaehyun mimicked a victorious grin. “i think i’d like it if you stayed much longer than that, but i know you’ve got big plans.”
in all honesty, that surprised you a little. he was talking to you as if you had been here weeks, and not less than twenty-four hours. “what would someone like me do in connecticut?”
jaehyun shrugged. “we’ve got… yale.”
you snorted. “and what makes you think i’m smart enough to get into yale?”
“actually, a lot of things. but i’d better get to work before i get caught slacking on the job,” jaehyun said, pointing to a camera projecting from the side of the motel that had a complete overview of the pool.
you gawked. “those things work?”
jaehyun laughed at your surprise. it was addictively cute, seeing his dimples deepen and his eyes sparkle. “you’re surprised?”
“a little bit,” you confessed quietly.
to your surprise, jaehyun’s hand softly brushed your arm. it was so gentle, so fleeting, you could’ve convinced yourself it never happened had you not felt a lingering tickle where he’d touched you. “see you around,” he said to you featherly.
“see you,” you replied in a small voice, having lost it all. your eyes were fixed to his back as he walked away.
damn it, you were wanting more of this guy you barely knew.
almost half an hour passed before you eventually decided to head back up to your room. you wanted nothing more than to get to know jaehyun better, but you would never interfere with a man’s pay. plus you were pretty confident that he would come to you when he was free enough.
there was a guy hovering over the railing next to your room, because he had been staying in the one beside yours. there was a joint between his fingers, although you had noted a couple of signs prohibiting it, not that anyone seemed to care. the stench of marijuana was all you could smell when you passed certain doors.
you had expected to slip past him and enter your room without interruption, so imagine your shock when he said, “i wouldn’t walk around here wearing stuff like that if i were you.”
like first nature, you tightened the towel around you. “excuse me?”
the man didn’t look at you, facing the world. you could see the creek from here, and that was where his gaze seemed to be rooted, too. “when you’ve lived as long as me, you know things,” he told you. “you see that creek over there? a lot of bodies used to turn up there in the eighties. young girls that stayed here a night or two.”
you said nothing, because you had nothing to say. the obvious discomfort on your face was enough.
“i’m just saying. you look like you’re alone. wouldn’t want anything bad happening to you,” he said, putting out the joint and walking away.
well, that was single-handedly the weirdest interaction you’d had at this motel so far. you hurried to unlock your room, immediately locking the door behind yourself.
you tried not to think much of it as you changed clothes, but you couldn’t help but wonder if that man was telling the truth or if he’d just had a little too much to smoke. either way, it was over twenty years ago. jaehyun had mentioned nothing to you about any serial killers.
then again, he was clearly trying to get you to stay. the last thing he would’ve wanted was to scare you off.
chill the fuck out. just don’t hang around any old people. like that guy, you told yourself, comforting.
given that you didn’t go out again that day, you didn’t see jaehyun at all until you finally emerged from your room the next afternoon in pursuit of a late breakfast. but when you glanced across the railing, you saw a figure all too familiar facing the creek.
forgoing breakfast for now, you raced downstairs and headed the road. they weren’t busy at all, although you still had a habit of checking before you crossed.
jaehyun heard you approaching, but didn’t turn around to face you. “how come i just know that it’s you?” he asked.
you snickered, but it wasn’t like too many people would be strolling around this creek out of a curious interest. “maybe i have really distinguishable footsteps?”
laughing, jaehyun finally met your eyes and beckoned you closer. you obliged, cautiously stepping to his side.
it was quiet for a moment, but it wasn’t awkward. the two of you were marveling at the beauty of nature together, enticed by what you saw. it was sunnier today than it was yesterday and sunlight filtered through the trees, shimmering on the water.
“i’ve been thinking about what you told me,” jaehyun finally said after a minute or two. “when you said there’s a lot to see in nature. and ever since, i’ve been looking and appreciating the little things i didn’t notice before. you were right.”
“of course, i am,” you replied, but the cockiness was to hide the flutter of your heart. “when i’m sick of human nature, it’s always nice to come back to earth. it’s beautiful.”
jaehyun bobbed his head in agreement. “archie’s over there.” he pointed somewhere along the far end of the creek. “it likes the sun.”
“yeah. sun basking is, like, a turtle’s favorite hobby,” you said, poking your head out to spot the cute baby turtle. you were grinning from ear to ear.
“what a simple life,” jaehyun said, lightheartedly shaking his head in envy.
you burst into giggles. but that reminded you of one of the many curious thoughts you had about jaehyun, and you figured now was a great time to ask. “hey, i didn’t want to ask this before because i didn’t know how you take it. but you don’t look like the typical guy in motel business.”
from the look on his face, jaehyun was anything but offended. “it’s my parents’ business,” he explained. “i just work here part-time.”
“ah.” you nodded your understanding, finding that a satisfactory answer. but it only made you want to know who jaehyun was when he wasn’t hard at work, donning the family uniform.
then, you remembered what that guy told you about the murders and realized that perhaps jaehyun knew more about if they genuinely existed.
jaehyun beat you to a word. “by the way, are you going to tell me how old you really are? because adult could mean you’re twenty-four or forty-two.”
you rolled your eyes. he was being funny. “i’m eighteen.”
“damn,” jaehyun said, wincing. “i’m nine years older than you.”
that was totally surprising. “really?”
“you don’t see the wrinkles?” jaehyun asked, pointing to his smooth, wrinkleless face.
god, he was alarmingly handsome. not to mention his skin looked literally poreless. “please. i thought you were twenty-three at the oldest.”
“that’s funny,” jaehyun said with amusement. “i thought you were at least old enough to drink. damn, you carry yourself like you’re older.”
that wasn’t the first time you had heard something along the line of those words, but damn, this guy was pushing thirty?
jaehyun seemed to have sobered a little the next time you glanced at his face, like he was worried about something. “is it weird now?”
“no,” you told him too quickly, maybe because you didn’t want it to be. “not unless you make it weird.”
it seemed like time stopped and the world was no longer spinning for a minute as you and jaehyun gazed into each other’s eyes. and the closer he came to you, your noses nearly brushing, the less you could breathe. “am i making it weird?” he whispered.
you couldn’t speak, so you simply shook your head, gaze lowering to his perfect lips.
everything happened in an instant. one second, you were thinking about how he was perfect from head to toe, and the very next, your heart was soaring as his lips met yours. your eyes fluttered closed, and you felt as if you were being whisked away into a wonderland.
the two of you kissed with heat and passion, overcome with the urge to swallow one another whole, and jaehyun was somewhat surprised by how talented of a kisser you were. the feeling was mutual. you had kissed a handful of boys, but never any with this much finesse.
maybe you had been wanting to kiss jaehyun this whole time, and never knew until you had him.
jaehyun broke away after a moment or two, impressed that you weren’t the first to tap out. something about kissing you was addictive. damn, it made a pretty picture in his head, your arms thrown around his neck and his on your back.
“damn, baby,” jaehyun said, catching his breath. “where’d you learn to kiss like that?”
you peered up at him with a smile, wondering if he somehow got even handsomer in the time your eyes had been closed. “you say i carry myself like i’m older than i am. well, my folks would beg to differ.”
that answer was vague as hell, but jaehyun understood what you meant perfectly. “ah, teenage rebellion? you make out with a lot of guys to piss your parents off?”
“sure, let’s go with that,” you mumbled, still none too keen on disclosing what was officially your old life. then, you caught a glimpse of his lips, and burst into laughter. “you’ve got a little something there.”
“yeah?” jaehyun asked, swiping his thumb over a lipgloss stain that you’d left on the corner of his mouth.
“a little bit to the left,” you told him, trying - and failing miserably - to keep a straight face. “no, my left.”
jaehyun pretended to get annoyed, grumbling, “if i kiss you again, will it matter that i wipe it off?”
at the thought of kissing jaehyun again, your heart skipped a beat or two, but you tried not to show it on your face. “i think that would defeat the purpose.”
jaehyun smiled, and before you knew it, your lips were pressed together again. all you could hear was the obvious wet smacking of your lips, the soft murmuring of the wind, and the quiet rippling of the water.
but you could feel his touch, his hand gingerly falling from the middle of your back to the apex of your thighs. jaehyun pulled away from your lips again, but only to kiss you on your jaw and neck. and everything about it made you feel hot inside out, as if you were scalding.
feeling you tensing beneath his fingertips, jaehyun grinned smugly. he leaned into your ear, whispering, “how about we head up to your room, yeah?”
you were no idiot. it was plain what that meant and a kind of nervous excitement settled in the pit of your stomach like a kaleidoscope of butterflies. “okay,” you replied, letting him take you by the hand.
almost the second you were safely behind closed doors, jaehyun pressed you against the nearest wall and kissed you fiercely. although you were taken by surprise, you returned the kiss with the same amount of fervor, slightly sticking your tongue into his mouth.
mischief curled onto jaehyun’s lips, pleasantly surprised by all the little things you were initiating. his hands slowly wandered down your body for a minute, one hand at your ass and the other cupping your breasts over your shirt. you made a soft breathy noise that had jaehyun scorching with the itch to fuck you, and it only increased tenfold when he noticed your eager hands fumbling with the buckle on his belt.
while your fingers were hard at work, jaehyun’s were too, waiting for the perfect time to slip underneath your shirt. you shuddered when the tips of his fingers brushed against your stiff nipples, whispering jaehyun’s name.
“come over here,” jaehyun said, leading you over to the bed.
he gently lowered you down onto the mattress and started to undress you piece by piece in between kisses, pressing his lips against every bit he exposed. it was all you could do to contain your agitation, holding your breath as his face crept lower.
to keep the more uneasy thoughts out of your head, you focused on jaehyun, asking, “aren’t you on the clock?”
“that’s the thing about working for your parents,” jaehyun said without looking up, giving his undivided attention to your legs as he yanked your skirt off. “what are the odds that they’ll fire their only son?”
“oh,” you said. he did look damn fine in that burgundy uniform, but you would’ve liked to see him without it on.
the more naked you became, jaehyun saw the way you shuddered nervously, and chuckled quietly to himself. “you’ve never done this before.”
he wasn’t asking. that was clear by his tone. it was an astute observation that you couldn’t even deny.
you frowned. “is it obvious?”
“a little bit,” jaehyun replied honestly, smiling at you. “i was a virgin before, too.”
you grinned bashfully. not a second later, your eyes made the mistake of glancing down and getting a eyeful of the imprint of his dick, and you looked away, swallowing the lump in your throat. “i don’t mind kissing assholes, but they say that your body is a temple, and i’ve never met anyone worthy, i guess.”
jaehyun raised a brow and pressed, “until now?”
that made you chuckle. jaehyun was very good at reading in between the lines, like you. “until now,” you repeated. “you’re my first.”
“and hopefully your last,” jaehyun flirted.
the stupidest smile was on your face. it was a foolish thing to hope, all things considered, but it made you feel pined after. “jaehyun, what was your first time like?” you asked.
jaehyun seemed a little grim when he heard your question, but before you could apologize for potentially overstepping, he replied, “it was with someone i had been with for a very long time, and thought i would be with forever.”
there was no doubt in your mind that it had been someone jaehyun loved and lost, and you couldn’t help but feel for him.
not wanting the mood to shift, jaehyun quickly changed the topic back to you, and everything he wanted to do to you. “trust me,” he said. “i’m going to do everything i can to make sure that even if you go, you never forget me.”
you barely had time to respond before jaehyun tugged your panties away, dragging a pair of fingers through your wet folds. you made a tiny noise as he used them to gauge how wet you were. dissatisfied, he sank to his knees, lips meeting your folds.
jaehyun darted his tongue out, circling your sensitive clit immediately after. you hadn’t expected the sensation to be so sharp, especially so soon, and you gasped, thighs tensing together. jaehyun got a hold of them and kept them apart as he pleased, making you take every second.
“jae,” you rasped, unable to get his full name out.
jaehyun grinned, lips curling against your pussy. damn, you were a sensitive one. if you were reacting like this already, what would you do when he got inside you?
you squirmed as jaehyun continued to go down on you, but it was useless. he was so strong, holding you in place as your body reacted to every single swipe of his tongue against your bundle of nerves. it was too much stimulation and yet jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered, thriving on your pleasure.
god, every sound you made was a whimper of jaehyun’s name. he couldn’t deny that it made his dick twitch in his underwear, aching to be buried balls deep inside you, but he was holding out for your sake. as badly as he wanted to fuck you senseless, he wanted your first time together to be unforgettable for the right reasons even more.
if he didn’t, what would make him any different from those assholes you let kiss you purely to make some kind of rebellious statement?
jaehyun didn’t want to be a statement, the thing you fell back to after all else had failed. he wanted to be the answer, the one to stitch you back together, the one you crashed into when the tides got high.
you had never felt anything like this before in your entire life. of course, there had been plenty times where you had gotten yourself off, but you had never known pleasure of this magnitude until now. your own hands had nothing on jaehyun’s and his damn skilled mouth.
jaehyun liked how sensitive your body was. it was all too easy to get a reaction out of you, and he was so attracted to how you couldn’t help but respond to every suck and lick, shuddering in his grasp without control.
“jaehyun, i can’t…,” you trailed, fingers desperate to clasp something, to anchor yourself. you would have wound them through his hair, but you were afraid of accidentally hurting him, and settled for the sheets.
“yes, you can,” he said, pulling away from your dripping cunt for a few seconds. “you’re doing good, baby. cum on my tongue.”
it felt as if you were going to burst from the inside and you didn’t really want him to stop, regardless of how incessant the pleasure was. no matter how hard you tried, it was impossible to keep still. you wanted more than you knew your body could handle.
to say nothing of the fact that jaehyun was doing everything in his power to drag you to your breaking point. he knew exactly what to do to have you crying out his name. for a moment or three, he had you convinced that he was everything you ever wanted. now, it was too hard to think.
in a matter of minutes, you were coming undone with a whimper so sharp you were certain your temporary neighbor would come knocking on the door.
“that’s it,” jaehyun crooned with the slyest fucking grin on his face, replacing his tongue with a pair of hefty fingers.
you tried to shove his hand away, the stimulation tearing you to shreds, but jaehyun was keen on breaking you down until you couldn’t be destroyed any further. until he had ruined you for any other man.
your bare chest heaved violently as you fought to catch your breath, blinking a couple times to clear the wet daze of your eyes. there was nothing you could do except silently gawk at jaehyun like he had singlehandedly just stolen your heart.
he finally pulled away, smugly asking, “need a break?”
after a few seconds of gathering your bearings, you rose to your knees and grabbed jaehyun by the back of his head to bring his lips to yours, pulling him down to the creaky mattress beneath you. jaehyun was surprised, but he liked how assertive you were, resting his hands at the back of your legs and letting you sink your weight onto him.
it was criminal how good of a kisser he was. and if that didn’t already have you dripping, then the way he touched you all over would have. you felt his hard dick against your thigh and couldn’t think of a time where you had wanted anything so badly.
“take these off,” you said to him when you pulled away from his mouth, tapping his underwear. “and i want to be on top.”
jaehyun snickered in amusement. “whatever she wants,” he said, reaching for his underwear the second you climbed off.
your mouth ran dry the moment you caught a glimpse of jaehyun’s intimidatingly thick length and you were certain that he was going to split you in half. you desperately didn’t want to come off as a shy virgin, but every second that passes made you slightly antsy.
fortunately, there was something to steal your attention away from jaehyun’s impressively large size, and your entire demeanor shifted. “wait, fuck. do you have a condom?”
“close your eyes,” jaehyun said.
you immediately furrowed your brows, wondering what he was up to.
noticing your wariness, jaehyun added reassuringly, “five seconds. come on, i won’t do anything weird. i promise.”
reluctance was written all over your face in a large bold font and you had your doubts, but you chose to trust him, watching the back of your eyelids and counting up to five in your head.
when your eyes fluttered open, jaehyun was grinning like an idiot with a condom between his fingers.
you gawked, astonished. “where’d you get that from so fast - up your ass?”
jaehyun burst into laughter and only said, “a magician never reveals his secrets.”
“give me this,” you said, taking the condom packet out of his hands to tear it open.
“bossy,” jaehyun mumbled under his breath.
that made you giggle, gingerly placing the condom over the head of his cock, and jaehyun noticed how your bottom lip stuck out when you were heavily concentrated.
you were too enamored with his dick to notice that he was staring at you as though you were the prettiest thing in the whole universe. for some odd reason, the more you looked at it, the less scary it seemed. “it’s actually kind of cute.”
jaehyun wasn’t expecting to hear those words and it completely snapped him out of his little daze. you glanced up at him when you heard him quietly snickering. “you’re something else, you know?” he asked.
“i know,” you replied, having heard many things along the lines of that statement. “you ready?”
it was ironic that you were the one asking him, but jaehyun played along anyway. “show me what you got, baby.”
you moved to straddle him again, raising yourself over his size and grabbing him in your hands to steadily lower yourself. the two of you sighed together in unison as your slick walls clamped around him.
there was one reason why you firmly chose to be on top and that was because you wanted to directly control the pace in case things got to be too much for you. you took your sweet time to sink down deeper and deeper, never too keen on doing too much too fast. in spite of the great lengths jaehyun went to prepare you, it was still a tight fit.
it felt like the wind had been knocked out of you, as if you were choking on your own breaths, and your heart was pounding louder than ever.
“that’s it, baby,” jaehyun said, gathering your soft thighs in his big hands. “is it too big for you?”
you shook your head, having your pride to protect and defend with your entire body. “no, i can take it.”
jaehyun grinned proudly. “i know you can. that’s my girl.”
now that was a sure-fire way to get you hot and bothered. your heart fluttered at the praise and you hid your smile in your elbow, tempted to ride the soul out of him.
you were maybe somewhat impressed by how deep inside of you jaehyun was and definitely plenty aroused. you had feared how far he could go, but now that your cunt was involuntarily tightening around him, gushing around him hotly, it was everything you wanted.
jaehyun was as astonished by you as you were by him, watching you take his cock like a fucking champ. you may have been fighting to let all of him inside, but you were doing a mighty good job, all things considered. there weren’t too many girls he’d had with your determination to ride.
you had finally found a comfortable pace and although there was a little pain, the rapture on your expression was something that you couldn’t deny. you were watching jaehyun watch you, noticing his face tense in a similar manner beneath you.
and it was to die for.
“oh my god,” you moaned, hands falling down onto his naked chest.
jaehyun couldn’t help but think the same thing with how you were gripping him for dear life and he was barely holding it together. to say nothing of the way you were crying out his name again like it was the only word you knew. he couldn’t help but think about how nobody else had ever heard your lips part open to whimper their name.
and he would be keeping it that way, no matter the measures he had to take to ensure he kept you in his big, strong arms.
you leaned into jaehyun, pressing your lips to his as you fucked yourself on him. the tiny room was overwhelmed with sound, the bed creaking and your lips locking, and your bodies meeting in a loud wet smack. something about it turned you on more than you thought you were capable.
jaehyun thought he could watch you on top of him for hours upon hours. his hands wandered to your breasts as you kissed him, tenderly fondling them and brushing his thumbs over your stiff tits. you were riding him into the night like there was no tomorrow, like you had something to prove, and he loved every second of it.
the softest of whimpers escaped your mouth when you pulled back, brushing your hair behind your ears. you couldn’t fathom the ecstasy hanging over you, blindsiding you. maybe it was in your head, but you swore you could feel him in the pit of your stomach, and you didn’t know whether that was normal or not.
jaehyun affectionately gathered your hands in his, holding them as you desperately tried to anchor yourself and make sense of the many things you were feeling at once.
it wasn’t an overstatement to say that you were seeing stars. you and jaehyun were getting each other off, every guttural sound he made taking you to the moon, and every twist your face made sending him crashing into the atmosphere.
you were flush against him, kneading his cock perfectly, and that made jaehyun mumble curses underneath his breath. “goddamn, beautiful. slow down,” he said.
but you didn’t want to slow down the pace, you only wanted to keep the fire burning. you laughed breathlessly and teased, “why? is it too much for you?”
jaehyun chuckled and swore as he closed his eyes, not wanting to admit that you were unraveling him quicker than he’d expected. if this was your first time, why did it feel like you were deflowering him, exposing him to a kind of euphoria that was unlike anything he had felt before.
he had been intent on dragging things out, but you were making him weak underneath your fingertips. damn, he wanted to thrust his hips up into yours, but he had a feeling you wanted to take the lead, for your own sake.
“maybe it is,” jaehyun confessed, much to your surprise. “maybe you’re getting me off too fast and it’s hurting my pride.”
“cum, baby,” you whispered sultrily, wanting to see a guy like him fold under pressure. it would be like making a grown man cry. “i want to see it.”
jaehyun sucked in a breath at those words, accepting his fate. you were bringing him closer to the end and there was nothing that he could do about it, even if he wanted to.
you were glistening in coats of sweat from head to toe, and your thighs were starting to ache, but all you had to do was hold on for a little while longer. it was obvious that jaehyun wasn’t far from the finish line, and in truth, neither were you.
it didn’t help that jaehyun was unintentionally imagining things that would get him off sooner. thoughts of you were all that occupied him, picturing how it feel to fuck you raw and hard, holding you squarely beneath him. you were pretty on top of him, but he was enamored with how you had squirmed and cried out underneath him, too.
you had forgotten about everything else in the entire world while you rode jaehyun to the ends of it and back. no part of you thought about your hectic life back home, about the life you’d planned in boston, and everything in between.
the only thing on your mind was jaehyun and in spite of being totally consumed by something, it was the most peaceful your thoughts had been in months.
you could feel jaehyun’s eyes rooted on you and glanced down to meet his gaze, noticing him smiling up at you. when he looked at you like that, he made you feel so wanted. you were naked and bare in front of him, in a literal sense, and he’d accepted every piece of you.
“what are you smiling at, silly?” you asked in between thick breaths.
“you,” jaehyun replied, like it was obvious. “you’re so damn beautiful, you know. i could fuck you forever.”
not wanting to show how much that had gotten to you, you quipped, “i think i’m the one doing the fucking here.”
jaehyun chuckled, and you thought it was because of what you had said, but he had felt you pulsing around his cock, and he was amused by how easy it was.
the room was getting hotter than ever and it was becoming harder to breathe with the stuffy air. you almost thought that your skin was on fire, and you were scalding on the inside. you were going even harder now, chasing relief.
jaehyun was losing his self-control and he couldn’t help but lift his hips into yours, making you gasp loudly. your head leaned back as you both rocked your hips, desperately trying to finish yourselves.
“jay,” you cried out again, tightening your hold on your hands to ground yourself like you thought you might fly off somewhere.
“i’m right here, darling,” jaehyun crooned, holding your hands firmly. “i’m not going anywhere.”
you nodded your head, trusting him, giving in to him.
everything after that was almost a blur. the rapture had you lightheaded, and all you remembered was the heat spitting through your core and your toes curling.
but jaehyun remembered so much more than that. he could picture the exact look on your face that did it for him, unraveling him, sending him cursing at the stars. the tremble that shuddered through his thighs as his cock twitched. he remembered the way your pussy throttled him as you orgasmed, moaning his name.
when it was over, you collapsed onto his chest, panting and heaving as if you had ran a marathon together.
neither of you made a move to shift positions for a long while, jaehyun simply admiring the feeling of your bodies sticking together. “are you okay?”
you weakly nodded your head. that word was an understatement, but you didn’t have the strength in your bones to muster a better one yet. few pleasures came close to the kind you were currently reaping the afterhighs of.
god, you weren’t stupid enough to throw everything away for some boy you’d just met, but he made you want to.
jaehyun preciously kissed your neck and shoulders. “go to the bathroom,” he whispered. “i’ll go in after you.”
“okay,” you replied obediently, starting to peel yourself off him, until you had a thought. “are you gonna stay?”
jaehyun’s brows furrowed. “do you want me to stay?”
of course, you did. you had just lost your virginity to him in the best way possible, exposed yourself to him in a way no one else had ever seen, including yourself. not only that, but considering you were a young girl in the middle of essentially nowhere, being around a kindhearted, strong guy made you feel safer.
“please,” you said, wanting to be nowhere else but in his arms for the meantime.
jaehyun smiled and kissed you again, the corner of your mouth this time. “okay, but i have to leave early in the morning. i can’t slack off forever.”
you did the same, throwing your arms around his neck, before bringing your lips to his neck and whispering, “couldn’t you?”
“you drive me insane, woman,” jaehyun groaned, sensing himself getting riled up again.
you giggled, finally crawling off him and heading towards the bathroom, but not before demanding, “don’t move.”
jaehyun had no place else that he’d rather be, even if he was in some moderately crappy motel that was understaffed and a playground to creeps. you were there, so it might as well have been like home.
when you returned to the room, jaehyun was still there, only he had disposed of the condom now and he was no longer naked. he went in after you, like he said he would, and came back to also find you redressed.
well, sort of. beyond putting back on your bra and panties, your efforts were a little more nonexistent.
“well, now i feel overdressed,” was the first thing jaehyun said when he came back.
you burst into giggles. “because you are.”
with that, jaehyun stripped down to his undershirt and boxers and came to join you on the bed, melting into your side. he couldn’t help but steal a few more kisses, completely under your spell now.
the two of you got comfortable. it was clear that jaehyun had no intention of returning to work tonight and had the motel been busier, you would’ve urged him back to his shift. rose creek would be fine without him for a few hours, maybe longer.
you were more important, and jaehyun seemed to think so too, eager to know you better. “so,” he started. “does your family know you’re in connecticut right now?”
you couldn’t help but laugh. “hell no. as far as they know, i just vanished in the middle of the night. i didn’t tell them i was going to boston, either. i probably should’ve picked somewhere down south, or on the west coast, but i don’t think they’d bother looking.”
jaehyun frowned the more he heard your words, displeased by how much strife it seemed you had with your own blood. “why not? disobedient soul or not, you’re still their flesh.”
try telling them that, please, you thought, but didn’t say. “because i’m the black sheep,” you explained. “i’m the child that didn’t want to be a doctor or a lawyer.”
“what do you want to be?” jaehyun asked, pulling you closer. looking at you as if he genuinely wanted to know.
it surprised you, because rarely did you meet anyone who seemed to have cared. “a vet,” you grumbled, feeling stupid.
“now that’s a surprise,” jaehyun replied, voice dripping with sarcasm. and when you smiled an inch, he felt like he was getting somewhere. “but i think it suits you. you’d be a great vet.”
your cheeks were burning. it was embarrassing and heartwarming at the same time to have your aspirations validated for once. it was too strange for you and you said, “i’m talking about myself too much. what about you? you said this was part-time. do you have a full-time job?”
“to be honest, i haven’t really worked a lot since i graduated. my parents own a lot of property in the state and this is just one of them. the others are better, i promise,” jaehyun said.
for some reason, that made a lot of sense. jaehyun seemed a little too extravagant for this sort of environment. “you know, that clears up a lot questions i had about you. but then, why work here instead of someplace better?”
“in case you haven’t noticed, hardly anyone comes out here.”
you snickered to yourself when you realized the appeal of working here for a guy like jaehyun. fewer crowds, fewer interactions, and more excuses to be sleeping around with pretty girls instead of legitimately working.
“but i do work for certain things. i didn’t have everything handed to me,” jaehyun said to clarify. “i’ve been trying to settle down. i know it doesn’t look like it right now, but i have. and i want to give my future family everything.”
that didn’t surprise you either, but it did garner your attention. “oh?”
jaehyun nodded. “yup. my parents have been begging me to bring a girl home for three, four years now. they said that they know i’ll be married someday, but they’re not as confident that they’ll be around to see it.”
considering that jaehyun did come across as slow and steady, for the most part at least, you laughed, because the only reason they weren’t right to be unconfident was jaehyun’s good looks and charming personality.
you tossed an arm over him, peering into his eyes. “what’s stopping you?”
jaehyun shrugged. if he had it his way, he would’ve brought someone home forever ago, but he’d found that few things went according to plan in his love life. “haven’t found the one, i guess.”
that was fair. you wanted a family too someday, but never in your life had you met somebody that you would let do more than kiss you, until jaehyun.
“the thing with love is that it’s trial and error,” jaehyun told you, coming from a place of obvious experience. “so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.”
“i wouldn’t know,” you mumbled. “i’ve never been in love.”
jaehyun’s eyes fell down to your gorgeous hand that was resting above his happy trail and smiled to himself. “you will be, i’m sure. i think love is out there for all of us, patiently waiting.”
you furrowed your brows, like those were the last words you expected to here out of his mouth. “so, you’re one of those.”
the look on jaehyun’s face matched yours. “one of what?”
“a hopeless romantic,” you sighed, but there was a smile on your face.
jaehyun laughed. “i guess you could say that, but i just tell people that i’m ambitious.”
“well, mister ambitious,” you said, stifling a yawn. “i’m sleepy, and you’ve worn me out for one day. promise to tell me more about yourself tomorrow?”
jaehyun nodded, then leaned in to kiss your cheek. “i promise. i get off early tomorrow, so we’ll have more time together. goodnight, baby.”
“goodnight, jaehyun,” you whispered, snuggling into his chest.
like he couldn’t get enough of you, jaehyun gave you one final kiss on your forehead before he turned off the lamp on the nightstand. he had his arms around you, your back flush against his chest, and you stayed that way until night’s end.
it was some of the best sleep you’d gotten in a long time. being in jaehyun’s arms made you feel comfortable, protected. you weren’t certain why, but it was like no harm could reach you there. you were untouchable and you didn’t have to worry about anything.
when you woke up, you were surprised to still find him there, barely awake himself. “you’re still here?” you asked, unexpectant.
jaehyun grinned at you when you turned to rest your head on his chest and replied groggily, “i thought i’d stay to hear your pretty voice one more time before i left.”
you rolled your eyes at his obvious flirting, but there was a huge beaming smile on your face and you were kissing him affectionately merely seconds later.
one thing lead to another. you swore you didn’t know how it happened. slow, sweet kisses were met by languid, intentional touches, until jaehyun was on top of you, fucking every bit of sleepiness out of your body.
the tiniest moans escaped you as jaehyun rocked his hips into you, slow and gentle, and you clung onto his forearms to anchor yourself back down to earth. he was whispering dirty little nothings in your ear, telling you how good you were to him, unraveling by the minute.
it just felt too good having him inside you, filling you to the hilt and making your bodies seem inseparable. you loved being tangled together, limb to limb, pleasuring each other like there was no other option. it was the first time you had craved someone so desperately.
you didn’t want to get out of bed when he was gone. you had all the energy in the world, but you were unfathomably sore. somehow, in a good way. you liked feeling the traces of jaehyun in your bones long after he had slipped away.
deciding not to rot in bed while you waited for him to return, you got up to take a shower and rinse away the scent of sex from your body. it would be a while, anyway. jaehyun had mentioned something about going back to his place for a minute.
part of you wanted to feel guilty for keeping him overnight, but you couldn’t. not when you knew that he had enjoyed it as much as you had. you wanted jaehyun, and he wanted you. there were no doubts.
drying off, you noticed that you had used the last towel and you would need more to cover the last two days of your extended stay here. you got dressed and headed down to the main lobby, requesting some from the guy that had been working the desk since you got there.
you leaned against the wall while you waited, your thoughts naturally wandering off to jaehyun and his handsome face and stupidly adorable dimples. and maybe his unthinkably talented cock, but only for a second or two. maybe three.
it was strange that he had been the only thing you knew your entire time here, and even then, you barely knew him. under different circumstances, you would have wanted to know all there was to know about jaehyun. you would always remember him, even when he was forever gone.
“those towels you wanted,” said the guy working the desk, snapping you out of your daydream.
you walked up to the desk, smiling kindly as you accepted them. “thank you. sorry for the inconvenience.”
“it’s fine. have a good day,” he replied, smiling back suspiciously wide.
you didn’t comment on it, wishing him the same and heading for the door.
before you could reach it though, you heard his voice again. “by the way, i heard you getting it good when i was making my rounds,” he told you slyly. “how much for the inconvenience?”
dickhead, you thought. your smile dropped and you switched on a dime, shooting him a hefty glare. “i’m not for sale,” you grumbled, storming the fuck out of there.
god, why were the interactions you had with men at this motel getting increasingly weirder? had not jaehyun been keeping you around, you would have been on the next train to boston days ago.
you were angry as hell at being propositioned for sex by some random stranger, but you tried to let it go. although you would definitely be ranting to jaehyun about it later. speaking of, on the way back to your room, you noticed the door to one a few rooms down was ajar.
it was frequented by jaehyun, you’d accidentally noticed. sometimes, you would see him come and go, way too often for any customers to be staying there.
you didn’t mean to pry. you had only gone up to check if he had already arrived, but there was no sight of him anywhere. the one thing that was clear was that he spent a hell of a lot of time here.
there weren’t too many things, considering he didn’t live there, but there were a couple of uneaten snacks sitting on the table. and a purple hair tie that you barely paid any mind to. on the nightstand, there was a framed picture of jaehyun with some girl you’d never seen.
it seemed like they were pretty close, all things considered. he had an arm wound tightly around her, and her head was resting on his shoulder. you weren’t jealous, especially considering he looked nearly a decade younger in the picture, and you instead found it cute that he looked so different and not at the same time.
given the different trends at the time, his hair was in a completely different style. his cheeks were a little rounder. but he still had the same silly, goofy smile.
realizing what you were doing was definitely a major invasion of privacy, you scurried out of there with your towels and headed back to your room to restock.
jaehyun came knocking way too many hours later, but the second you heard, you leapt up, swinging the door open and throwing them around his shoulders. “what took you so long?” you asked sullenly.
jaehyun was pleasantly surprised by the abrupt display of affection, embracing you. “i decided to get everything done so that i could come straight to you, and didn’t have to leave.”
well, that made sense. when you pulled back, you noticed that he wasn’t in his uniform for a change. “this is my first time seeing you in normal person’s clothes. you look different. good different.”
“thanks, beautiful,” he replied, sticking his hands in his pockets. “may i come in?”
you stepped to the side, letting him enter, and shut the door behind him.
jaehyun seemed amused when he noticed the television was on, showing some anthropology program he had never watched. “did i interrupt?”
it took you a second to realize what he meant, but when you did, you were all giggles. “no, you’re way more important.”
jaehyun was glad to hear that. “by the way, did you have fun sneaking into my room?”
the sudden accusation startled you, but you didn’t deny what you had done. he somehow clearly already knew that you’d nosed around, and you weren’t one to make excuses nor lie. “that was rude. i should’ve asked for your permission. i’m sorry.”
something about your sincerity made jaehyun smile and wave it off. “it’s fine. i don’t have anything to hide.”
either way, you still felt a little guilty. you wanted to ask him who that girl in the picture was, but you decided that you’d done enough snooping.
noticing the shame on your face, jaehyun beckoned you over, commanding, “come here.” and when you promptly did as told, he smoothed his fingers through your hair and reassured, “i told you, it’s fine. forget about it. now, talk to me.”
you melted into jaehyun’s touch, and forgave yourself, forgetting about what you had done, forgetting about all of the awful parts of your day that were no longer relevant now that you were comfortable in jaehyun’s arms.
minutes turned into hours before you were ready for them to, and you almost couldn’t believe how easily you had made a friend out of jaehyun. he was just so easy to talk to, getting you to confess about your less than happy past and chat about your hopes for the future like you were lifelong buddies.
and to your surprise, he made no attempt to try and sleep with you that night. it seemed that jaehyun was fully intent on getting to know you for the young woman that you were.
every now and then, you got the feeling that he was more into you than it was safe for him to be, and more than you could fathom him being so quickly, and knowing that you would be leaving soon, it crushed you. no part of you wanted to see his face when it was time to say goodbye.
but when you woke up the next day, you were smiling. jaehyun had slipped away, something about having errands to run unrelated to work, and you were counting down the seconds until he would come back.
it was your last full day together.
the thought saddened and excited you all at once, overwhelming you to the core. you had convinced yourself that although jaehyun had made you feel something nobody else ever had, you would move on the second you got a step closer to bringing your dreams to fruition. but until then, you were a little heartbroken.
you had to be real with yourself for a second. could there be a way for a guy almost a decade older than you to be someone you spent the better half of your life with?
you didn’t think so. you and jaehyun led different lives. and while you hoped he would soon find the girl he had long dreamed of, you knew that she wasn’t you.
who were you to keep him down, when he could be searching for her?
not to mention you weren’t even ready for such large of a commitment. you wanted to complete school and graduate, eight years of your life at least that you would be hard at work, studying your ass off. jaehyun struck you as the marriage and kids kind of boy, none of which you were prepared for.
he’ll be fine. you’re acting like he’s in love with you or something, you told yourself, sitting on your empty bed. there was no way someone as handsome as jaehyun hadn’t had his fair share of short-term flings.
at some point, you quickly became bored of waiting and decided to go on your phone, which you shockingly hadn’t been giving much attention lately. there were some texts from your friends, the only ones you had mentioned connecticut to, and you promptly messaged them back.
there weren’t any notifications from your family, but whether that was only because you blocked them or not, you didn’t know.
then, you opened google and started to search random questions, as you often did when there was nothing more exhilarating to do. you had a couple of questions about toothbrushes, a word your friend had sent that you had never seen before, and finally, the motel itself.
you didn’t know why you hadn’t googled any information about it sooner. most likely because you didn’t think you would be welcomed for so long, but either way, it should’ve been one of the first things you’d done.
out of weary curiosity, you typed the name of the motel into your search engine, and the first thing you saw was a picture of the front exterior.
the next thing you saw, however, was a little more appalling. there was a news article from a little more than a month ago reporting the death of a girl named alyssa gardner.
rose creek, named in memory of rose bellori who was found there after being tragically murdered thirty-eight years ago, suffers another victims, says local police department. twenty-four year old alyssa gardner was found in the creek three weeks after being reported missing. her last known location prior to her murder was rose creek motel, according to her bank statements.
once you read the first sentence, you couldn’t stop, remembering what that old man had told you about the bodies that turned up in the creek. and as you continued to look into the murder, you froze, reading something about how she had last been wearing a purple hair tie.
there had been a purple hair tie in jaehyun’s room, you remembered, because it was on the table beside the snacks. it could have been a coincidence, but although his hair was long enough, you had never seen jaehyun tie up his hair.
now you had to know. there was a picture of alyssa wearing the tie and it was so specific, there was no way you wouldn’t know if they were the same just by looking. but you had no clue how you would get in there. after your invasion yesterday, there was no way jaehyun would reasonably make the mistake of leaving it open again, even if he claimed to have nothing to hide.
you slipped on your shoes, brainstorming on your way to the room, considering jaehyun wouldn’t have been back for a few hours, according to himself. your first thought was the guy at the front desk, but if he did do you a favor, he would want something in return that wasn’t cheap. nor were you selling.
fortunately, another man started to walk by, an employee, judging by his uniform. “excuse me, sir,” you said, donning your most helpless voice. “is there a way you could help me get in this room? i left my key inside by mistake.”
obviously believing you, the man said, “yeah, of course. i have a general key card right here.”
and just that easily, he opened the door for you.
“thank you so much,” you told him, expressing your gratitude before closing the door to jaehyun’s room behind yourself.
you felt bad for lying, but your gut was screaming at you right now and you were tempted to trust her now more than ever. you raced to the table, shoving the snack box out of the way, and gawking in horror when you found what you were looking for.
it was the purple hair tie, and not only was it the exact same color and design as you had seen in the picture, but there were traces of hair on it that didn’t match the dark color on jaehyun’s head.
you backed away, the blood freezing over in your veins. the shock was too cruel, too icy, and there were a billion thoughts racing through your mind.
but at the forefront of them all, you were thinking, i’ve got to get the fuck out of here.
you stepped out of the room, clearing the hallway before you made a beeline for yours, making a call and shoving your things into your suitcase. you weren’t supposed to be leaving until tomorrow, but you figured it was in your best interest to escape before things had the opportunity to go wrong.
there was no time to think about how your judgment could have been so awful, because all you wanted to do was go far, far away from this place, where you would finally be safe from all the things in this world that wanted to hurt you.
the second your belongings were packed, you checked out at the front desk, noticing that the dude from yesterday was strangely no longer there, replaced by a woman you had never seen before. but you didn’t ask questions, didn’t press.
because the second you were free to go, you were dragging your suitcase to the road and praying that uber would get here before jaehyun could.
until you felt something cold pressing into your back, and every bone in your body went stiff. “leaving without saying goodbye?” asked a familiar voice, coming out of nowhere.
tears began to sting your eyes, fear making your blood run cold. you couldn’t see him, but your whole body knew who it was. “please.”
“let’s take a walk,” jaehyun said nonchalantly, pointing with the hand that wasn’t discreetly holding a gun to your back.
given the circumstances, there was no way in hell that you wouldn’t do as told. you walked to the right of the motel with your suitcase in tow, far out of sight of any cameras that might’ve been privy to your predicament, willing yourself to breathe lest you fell apart then and there.
it had never been more of a struggle to walk, and it was like you had nearly forgotten how to put one foot in front of the other. your brain was hyper aware of the weapon not even an inch away from you.
through your blurry vision, you could make out a car coming into view. jaehyun asked, “do you have your license?”
you nodded, afraid to speak.
“good. this suitcase could’ve been you,” jaehyun said, taking the suitcase out of your hands to throw into the trunk. “you’re driving.”
you swallowed the lump in your throat. it terrified you how indifferent jaehyun seemed, walking you over to the driver’s side of the car and opening the door for you, meanwhile you looked as if you had seen a ghost.
only when he got in on the other side did he hand over the keys, still pointing the gun at you and calmly ordering, “drive. i’ll tell you where to go.”
and that was exactly what he did, telling you directions as you made every turn he told you to, not that there were very many.
every second was spent fighting tears and trying to keep your thoughts from racing. you could’ve never seen something like this coming. you had felt so safe, so secure around jaehyun, and now he was threatening you with a weapon.
god, you didn’t even want to think about what he was going to do to you. would he murder you in cold blood like that girl in the news article?
your first thought was to try and coax your way out of it. as if killers listened to logic and reasoning, outside of their own. “jaehyun, you don’t have to do this. you can let me go.”
jaehyun laughed, although you were dead serious. “so that you can go straight to the police? or worse, leave me here by myself?”
“it doesn’t have to be like that,” you whispered. “i like you a lot, jaehyun.”
“i like you a lot, too. that’s why i have to do this, darling.”
“i don’t understand.”
“i know,” jaehyun replied coolly. “it’ll all make sense soon.”
that statement didn’t make you feel any better. instead, you were enveloped by a deep feeling of cold dread, sensing that the worst had yet to come and you needed to brace yourself for the inevitable.
no more than thirty minutes of driving later, jaehyun told you to pull into the driveway of some house along the creek. you wanted to scream when he pulled you out of the car, but the house you were at was isolated from the rest of the world. nobody would have ever heard you even if the cry came from the very tip of your lungs.
but you noticed that he had left his gun in the car.
you tried to break out of his grasp, but jaehyun was tremendously stronger than you, and he didn’t seem to like your actions much, hissing, “i don’t want to hurt you, but don’t think i won’t.”
no part of you believed that he didn’t want to hurt you, not even for a second. “let me go. i want to go home!”
“no, you don’t,” jaehyun shot back, tightening his clasp on your bicep. “you want to be anywhere but there. don’t act like i haven’t been doing you a favor.”
“don’t act like you know me,” you snapped, still trying to wrest your way out of his hold.
jaehyun laughed, but it was mirthless. “honey, i do know you. you told me enough about you. i know what you like, and what you don’t like, and how vicious your parents are to you. i know that you don’t ever want to go back home.”
you didn’t know what was worse between being here right now and being home, and that thought made ache spring into your chest ravishingly.
“i should’ve known you’d find out sooner than i’d hoped,” jaehyun said. “you’re a smart woman, but that’s one of the many things i love about you.”
tears continued to well your eyes, but they were angry now. “let go of me!”
jaehyun began to become exasperated, dragging you over to the edge of the creek, but you didn’t stop demanding to be freed, flailing and thrashing.
not until you finally exclaimed, “if you’re going to kill me, then kill me already!”
to your surprise, that made jaehyun root in place for a moment or two. “i think you’re confused.”
you were glaring up at him. “wasn’t that your plan?”
for an unsettling amount of time, jaehyun just stared at you emptily. then, he began to laugh heartily, amused to no end. “now why on earth would i want to do that?” he asked.
you said nothing, startled and baffled altogether.
jaehyun smiled at you. the sight warmed your heart no more than a day ago, but now, you were thoroughly unnerved. “baby, you’re perfect. you’re everything i’ve ever wanted. you may be a little younger than i usually go for, but maybe that’s where i went wrong. with you, it’s not too late to fix the little things. like all this resistance.”
nothing could have prepared you for the sudden change in him, for him to throw you to the ground and submerge your head underneath the water of the creek.
it felt and sounded like the whole world had stopped for a moment before the panic started to settle in cruelly, and you inhaled more water than you had been prepared to. your body desperately missed air, and every time it tried to breathe, only more water entered your mouth.
when jaehyun yanked you back up by your hair, you spat out a load of water, and began to cough. he asked, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing. you couldn’t at that point.
jaehyun took it as defiance and lowered your head back underneath the water again, giving you no time to recover from the previous plunge, and your entire body fought against it, but your efforts were in vain.
and like before, he pulled you up and asked, “learn your lesson?”
“fuck you,” you spat as belligerently as you could between breaths, even though it hurt to talk.
jaehyun said nothing, throwing your head back down.
at this point, your lungs were scorching and your nose was burning. your chest was smoldering with pain and panic and everything in between. helpless, your mind was begging for mercy, but the more you prayed for the water to escape, the more you inhaled.
your muscles were screaming for air and you genuinely thought that you were going to die, that this was the end. you would never know the life you had long dreamed of, the life you had risked everything to have, and the one you had always wanted.
it felt like an eternity had passed when jaehyun brought you back up to the surface and asked you again boredly, “learn your lesson?”
you said nothing, spitting out more bursts of water and gasping for breaths that burned your throat.
jaehyun was about to submerge you again, but at the very last second, you blurted, “okay, okay! i’m sorry. i learned my lesson!”
“good,” jaehyun said, pulling you up and dusting his hands off. “let’s go inside.”
you didn’t dare disobey, letting him lead you inside the house, which you assumed he owned. there wasn’t any time to marvel at the sheer beauty of it before he was tugging you downstairs to the basement where there was already a mattress waiting for you.
whether that had been prepared for you, or leftovers from the last victim, you didn’t want to know.
jaehyun took one look at your flushed, tear-stained face and softened. he brought a finger to your cheek, but you lurched away from him, like a startled animal in a cage. which, to be fair, wasn’t too far from the truth.
he frowned. “i wish you didn’t have to be so nosy, baby. i didn’t want you to see me any differently than before.”
it’s too late for that, you huffed to yourself. you fell to the ground beside the mattress, hugging your knees.
jaehyun glanced down at you sighing, debating coming over to join you, but decided against it. for now. “but you don’t have to worry anymore. you’re safe with me. nothing can hurt you as long as i’m here. god, i’ve made sure of it. it angered me to no end when i saw that guy in the lobby flirting with you.”
you immediately remembered what had happened in that lobby, something you had been intent to mention to him but forgot, and the blood drained from your face. “what did you do to him?” you asked.
“what do you think?”
you shook your head. no wonder there had been another person working the front desk earlier. you hugged your knees tighter and cried, “he was just some jerk, jaehyun. you didn’t need to kill him.”
“yes, i did. i would kill anyone who ever dare dreamed of touching you,” jaehyun insisted darkly.
now that you thought about it even harder, there was no reason for jaehyun to even know that that whole ordeal went down in the first place. he hadn’t been there when it happened. you slowly glanced up, asking, “how did you… know?”
jaehyun chuckled. “because i’ve been watching you, silly. how else?”
no shame, no guilt. he seemed proud of himself, grinning from ear to ear. the sight made you sick, but not as sick as it did to know that he had been essentially spying on you in his free time. you remembered, only a few days ago, asking him if the cameras were really functioning.
your stomach churned. that was why he always seemed to know where you were, to always drop into the places you were. that was how he knew you has been in his room, and how he knew you were fleeing.
even though you felt like vomiting the more information you learned, you needed to know the truth. “why did you kill that girl?”
“which one?” jaehyun asked, which made your heart stop in absolute terror. “if you’re talking about alyssa, i found out she was addicted to drugs. god, everything was going so smoothly until all of that.”
if you could’ve convinced yourself that you were only in a nightmare, you would have, but the pain in your chest and throat was too aggressive. “i bet you killed that girl in the picture too,” you replied hoarsely.
jaehyun’s eyes darkened, but it was less anger and more of a morose kind of emotion. “no, that’s not true. she died in a car accident.”
given the pain tensing his features, you believed him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to have any sympathy.
jaehyun continued, “we were eighteen and we had just graduated. she was the girl everyone wanted me to be with, and the one i thought would always be with. then one day, she was just gone. i’ll never forget getting that phone call in the middle of the night.”
the words he used made you remember something. you had asked him what his first time was like, and jaehyun had told you something along the lines of it being with someone he thought he would spend forever with.
that was her, the girl he had loved and lost.
“i’m sorry you went through that,” you whispered, feeling as though you were obligated to console him in some way.
“i am, too,” jaehyun mumbled. “but life goes on. and i found you. god, you don’t know how many times i had to go through this to find you, but it’s over now. you remind me of her a lot.”
you froze in your own skin, suddenly having an epiphany. you didn’t understand before, why jaehyun was doing all this, but it was all coming together now.
life may have moved on, but jaehyun had not. instead of getting over the girl he had lost so many years ago, he was trying to recreate her, to get her back in some sick, twisted way. you would be the vessel needed to resuscitate her, and the girls before you were the other candidates that didn’t meet the mark.
he had told you that. not outright, but it was what he’d meant, and the confession went right over your head. so many girls i thought were perfect, until they showed me their true colors. and it hurts to cut them loose, but you have to.
jaehyun wasn’t killing girls out of some sadistic hatred. matter of fact, he didn’t even want to kill them, but he felt obligated to eliminate the unworthy. he was killing because they ultimately didn’t meet his standards.
which implied that someway, somehow, you did. as he put it, you were everything he’d ever wanted.
“why me?” you asked, rubbing your eyes clear of tears.
jaehyun at last approached you, and although you wanted to back away and hide, there was nowhere for you to go. “easy. from what you’ve told me, you’re the black sheep of your family. you didn’t even tell them where you were going. nobody is going to look for you. nobody will miss you. you’re perfect.”
those words were crueler than he intended for them to be, but jaehyun wanted to be truthful with you, because that was the key to a long-lasting relationship. he wouldn’t hide from you, and he wouldn’t allow you to hide from him. you would be perfectly honest with each other.
“we’re going to have kids together someday,” jaehyun rambled, holding your cheeks in his hands gingerly, almost with affection. “i’m going to take you to meet my parents, and they’re going to love you, because i love you. and we’re going to stay in this house.”
you glanced around. “here?”
jaehyun sported a beaming smile. “it’s perfect, isn’t it? you love nature, and we’ll live right here along the creek. it’ll be just like how you grew up, except you’ll be accepted here.”
perfect, you repeated in your head bitterly. jaehyun seemed to be as obsessed with that word as he was with you. he couldn’t stop saying it, and that revealed even more about his intentions the more he used it.
noticing the tension in your face, jaehyun squeezed your hand and tried to console you. “don’t worry, i’m not going to keep you from your dreams. but you’re going to stay in this basement until you understand that you belong to me, and i belong to you.”
“i’m not your fucking property,” you hissed with unadulterated vitriol.
obviously, jaehyun was growing exhausted of having to put up with your less than meek behavior, and before you could apologize, he hauled you up and tossed you onto the bed. you made a tiny, broken noise when he began to squeeze your throat instead. “i will whip you into shape if i have to,” jaehyun growled. “i will fuck you into shape, everyday, if that’s what it takes, dear. i already made up my mind. you’re mine and i won’t let anyone else have you.”
your throat still ached from the pain of nearly drowning three times over, sorely pleading for quiet remorse, but jaehyun was nothing short of committed. he would stop at nothing to bend you into submission, no matter the price needed, because when he wanted something enough, there was nobody that could tell him that it wasn’t his for the reaping.
not his parents, not you, not anyone.
true to his word, jaehyun began to force one his hands underneath your pleaded skirt. he liked that you wore them, initially because he found them strangely cute on you, but now because of the easy access he had to everything he wanted.
you thrashed again enervatedly, sore from head to toe, but you told yourself endlessly that you weren’t a quitter. you couldn’t let him break you, not until he had broken all the fight out of you first. it would go against everything you stood for, everything you believed.
“behave,” jaehyun said. “behave, or you’ll only make it worse on yourself.”
you roared expletives into his palm that jaehyun couldn’t understand, nor did he bother to. not after he had caught a glimpse of your precious cunt and he had already begun to imagine making sweet love to you. the lingering picture was all he could think of.
how you had gripped his biceps, brows tensing together, calling out his name and his name only. jaehyun knew you reciprocated his pining. he had seen the proof, felt it dripping and pulsing around his cock, milking his release out of him even quicker than he had hoped.
and really, honestly, jaehyun didn’t want to hurt you or cause you any needless pain. one day, you would understand that he was only doing this from of a place of love and endearment. you gasped for breath when the hand on your throat finally slackened, sucking in the sharpest one you had ever inhaled, and could feel the basement reeling.
while you were busy blinking the misty daze out of your eyes, jaehyun ran a hand between your legs, touching your clit. “jaehyun, stop,” you rasped.
“shh, let me make you feel good,” jaehyun crooned softly in your ear.
it was maddening that your body still reacted fondly to his deep voice and tender touches, and you hated every second of it. you resisted him, pressing your thighs together, but it took little to nothing for jaehyun to spread them apart again, and your body naturally liked his strength, too.
still, you tried to swat his hand away. now that you knew the truth of who he was really was, what he really was, you couldn’t stand to let a monster like jaehyun to touch you.
jaehyun sighed irritably, and the look on his face made you shudder. “you’re just going to keep being a bitch about it, aren’t you?”
he only wanted to pleasure you, for fuck’s sake. why wouldn’t you let him?
“i don’t want this,” you whimpered, peering up at jaehyun as you welled up with tears.
“yes, you do,” jaehyun told you, as if he was trying to convince you of something you already knew wasn’t true. “you do want it. remember?”
you shook your head, defiant. “that was before. it’s different now.”
“nothing has changed between us.”
“everything has changed!” you cried out, bursting into sobs. “you’re not who i thought you were. you… hurt me.”
“i didn’t want to. i promise that i didn’t, honey,” jaehyun whispered, pressing his lips to your forehead. “and the sooner you listen to me, the sooner i can make you feel better.”
he started to do exactly that, returning between your legs, this time sticking his face beneath your skirt. jaehyun went to town, pulling out all the stops that he remembered had you singing his praises.
not a moment later, you slumped in defeat, too weak from your unwanted orgasm to deny him any longer. jaehyun smirked when he noticed you twitching from the aftershocks, licking his wet lips that had gotten soaked with your arousal.
“that’s it, baby,” jaehyun said, proud of himself. he liked worshiping you, and even if you didn’t want to admit it, he knew he brought you to elysian heights. “ready to take my cock?”
you shook your head wearily, but jaehyun didn’t believe you. only the day before yesterday, you had been so eager.
“come on, don’t be that way. you know you love this dick,” jaehyun said. he had never looked more sure of himself, not hesitating to step out of his clothes.
although you wanted nothing more than to defy him, to spring up and make a beeline for the nearest door, you couldn’t bring yourself to. there wasn’t even time for you to tell him to stop before jaehyun was spreading you open, prodding your entrance with the head of his cock.
and you were so wet that in spite of his size, he slipped inside with ease.
jaehyun grunted at the first push of his cock inside you, slowly coaxing his way deeper. he slipped his fingers through yours, knowing that you liked to use his hand to anchor yourself because you quickly got overwhelmed by his size.
but he noticed that each time you were taking him even better, and jaehyun liked the thought of successfully breaking you in. to him, it was the perfect fit. it was a sign that you were made for him to fuck and breed. your vice-like walls were gushing around him, kneading him, swallowing him whole. only him.
“that’s good, baby. don’t run from it,” jaehyun crooned in your ears before sealing your lips together.
jaehyun didn’t notice that you weren’t kissing him back. when his eyes were closed and he was buried some inches deep inside your pussy, it became easier to convince himself anything. because you may have denied him, but jaehyun thought the body never lied, and yours was calling out to him.
the weight of your body rocked in tandem with his thrusts and jaehyun, wanting a better view of you, started to tug your shirt off. he already knew how to make you weak for him, sucking at your breasts.
every cry of protest you made fell on deaf ears, because all jaehyun heard was that familiar breathlessness in your voice when he was making you feel good.
and that was more than enough to jaehyun. because if he had you, and you had him, nothing else mattered. why would you need some other guy in some faraway place when he had made you feel things you never knew you were even capable of?
he never even thought about how of those feelings he had plucked out of you, something could’ve completely overpowered any pleasant feelings you ever had.
it surprised you when jaehyun grinded to a halt and pulled out of you, but you should’ve known better than to think he was finished. “get on top of me,” jaehyun told you, overcome by memories. “i want you to ride me. like how you rode me that day.”
jaehyun had this dazed look in his eyes that made him look more dangerous and unhinged than he ever had, and that was the sole reason you were so quick to scramble on top of him, but jaehyun smiled, because he only saw it as unadulterated desire.
you grabbed his shoulders as you forced yourself to mount him, his hands slipping down to your backside, supporting you with his palms. it hadn’t been too long since they were someplace you could feel secure for the first time in a long while. and now that comfort was gone, and you had nowhere else to go, nothing else to turn to but yourself.
maybe you had been naive to think that someone could genuinely, truthfully like you. whatever jaehyun felt for you, or at least thought that he did, was purebred obsession and without it there would be nothing left.
it was the one thing keeping you breathing, and yet the one thing killing you slowly.
something wet dripped onto the pillar of jaehyun’s shoulder and he saw that you were sobbing. tears of pleasure, he told himself. he remembered the wet glaze in your stare when the two of you had fucked the other day, too. nothing as theatrical as this, though he was certain it didn’t make a difference.
but jaehyun wasn’t afraid to hurt you, that much was clear. he may not have particularly liked it anymore than you did, but he would use it to justify everything. it’s okay if it hurts, because love hurts, he would console himself, telling himself that you would be okay.
“one day you’ll understand that i’m doing this because i want what’s best for us,” jaehyun whispered, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “i’ll make you happy every day until you die. anything you could ever want, i’ll make it happen, i promise.”
the way he spoke, you knew that he believed it in his very bones, and that only made it scarier. someway, somehow, jaehyun had convinced himself that you were god walking, and now you weren’t sure what lengths he wouldn’t go to for your sake.
tenderly kissing your jaw, jaehyun continued, “i love you.”
you shook your head, knowing that it wasn’t true. “you can’t love me, jaehyun. it’s only been five days.”
jaehyun disagreed. he thought he had loved you from the second he laid eyes on you, a beautiful girl ambling along the creek line. he could smell your sweet scent on him and it made him remember catching you in his arms, pulling you close, and breathing you in for the first time. “i loved you long before i met you. you may not feel it right now, but you will soon. i’ll make sure of it.”
you exhaled a breath. there was no arguing with a mad man.
“i’ll make sure you’ll never want to live without me again,” jaehyun whispered, like it was the most normal thing in the world. “that you can’t live without me.”
all you wanted was to get away from him. you were wishing you would’ve never came here, never gave him or this godforsaken place the time of day.
jaehyun was nearing the threshold of what he could take and it was plain on his face. you weren’t fucking yourself on him with the same amount of fervor as you had in the none too distant past, but he was too close to the edge to complain, driving his hips upwards into yours.
he was no longer listening to the pleas falling from between your lips, imagining that you were begging for him never to stop, never to let go of you. because he knew that deep down, that was what you wanted. you would get over these temporary, tiny frustrations. the same way he had gotten over them over and over.
did you think it was all fun and games for him? if you knew how many times he had been crushed and disappointed, how many times he had to let of something he wanted more than anything, you would finally understand that there nobody who understood you more than jaehyun.
in a way, you were completing each other. he would give you the family you needed, and you would give him the relationship he always wanted.
“jaehyun, you have to pull out,” you said to him, remembering he had gone in without a condom. “you have to…”
“shh,” jaehyun shushed you, pressing your back to the mattress again, and seizing control.
when you tried to speak, jaehyun just clamped his hand over your mouth to keep you silent and pliant, wanting to hear none of it. “didn’t i tell you? we’re going to build a family together, right here in this house.”
there was total, chaotic horror in your eyes. you hadn’t thought he meant so soon, so quickly. you were barely an adult and still sometimes felt like a child yourself, and you tried to tell him as much, but every word bled together and died on his palm.
with a few more unrelenting smacks of his hips into yours, jaehyun leaned over and clamped his teeth into your shoulder as he came. and when he stilled, he kissed you, ignoring the taste of tears that had ran onto your lips.
“it’ll always be you and me now,” he panted, breathless. “you can’t leave me. you can’t.”
you lay there, helpless and hopeless, feeling something like bile scorching up your throat as you stared at him in disbelief.
“i’ll fuck you every day, i will,” jaehyun said with every bit of conviction. “if it means that one of those days, i put a baby in you.”
there was nothing that you could say that your face wasn’t already saying for you. never in your life had you felt more used and violated, and that said a lot.
and jaehyun didn’t seem to be bothered. he lay down beside your shaking body, tightening his arms around you, loving the way the layers of sweat made you stick to each other, and made you a dirty promise. “don’t worry, i’ll take care of you both,” he said. “i swear.”
you closed your eyes, screaming inside your head, but having none of the strength to really do it. he had stolen it from you, stolen everything from you. your body wasn’t your own anymore.
“say it,” jaehyun prompted, nibbling gently at your neck. “say you love me.”
you didn’t, and there wasn’t a single bone in your body that did, but jaehyun terrified you now. this would haunt you more than the gun pressed to your back, or the throwing your head underwater. compared to now, those things seemed mild.
so you sucked in a breath, trying to will yourself to stay still even though there was no possible way with how close he was to you, and you lied, “i love you.”
jaehyun grinned from ear to ear. “i know.”
#tw: noncon#tw: baby trapping#jaehyun smut#nct smut#jeong jaehyun smut#jung jaehyun smut#nct 127 smut#nct 127 hard hours#nct 127 x reader#jaehyun scenarios#nct scenarios#revehae fics
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peace and love to everyone who enjoys their birthdays but as someone who loves birthday parties for other ppl my own impending birthday fills me with the kind of dread comparable to someone being banished forever
#why do i feel so sad and angry near my birthday it’s not fair#just once i want to be happy on my birthday. just once i want the tension to ease and to feel relaxed and like#like i accomplished what i was meant to leading up to it. like i’m not losing smth by turning another year older#i’ll never be 24 again and i don’t think i did it right#i don’t think i’ve done any of the years right#and today i feel shitty bc i’m downtown just hating how i look and everyone around me is so cute and cool and i just wanna curl up and hide#why is it that near my birthday i feel 14 again no matter what age i’m turning#i just feel lonely and inadequate and small#even tho my family loves me even tho my mom always wants to plan smth it’s just. nothing ever makes me happy on my birthday#and i feel so guilty about it#even the days leading up to my birthday i just feel faraway#and then it disappoints everyone else which makes me feel worse so i just pretend that i’m happy#sigh. one day i won’t feel like this.
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