#Happiness to all of you this winter!
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I should've posted this earlier but
Merry Christmas
you jolly old fools of Tumblr.
And happy Kwanzaa, Hanuka, Yule, Las Posadas, Diwali, Yalda, and other winter holidays! (Please tell me if I missed one, or if one is wrong, I want to be inclusive of you all!)
#christmas#holiday#kwanzaa#hanukah#yule#las posadas#diwali#yalda#merry christmas#merry xmas#Happiness to all of you this winter!
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Nothing says pride like ice cream with the bestie 🍨💕🏳️🌈💚💛
#my art#toh#the owl house#huntlow#toh huntlow#toh hunter#willow park#toh willow#toh winter#pride month#pride#lgbt pride#before you say anything#yes i called them besties#they are in what you call#an advanced frienship 😌😏#anyway yes hunter is repping a bunch of flags#no i dont think he is all of them#i just think he'd be really supportive with his patch work#anyway happy pride y'all#you can also get this printed on my inprint shop so take a look 👀
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LEWIS NIXON III September 30, 1918 - January 11, 1995
Grace Nixon in a letter to Dick and Ethel Winters, December 1990
"That guy never complains about anything. Always cheerful—thinks more of others than himself. He is one some kind of man."
Eulogy for Lewis Nixon given by Dick Winters, 1995
"Whenever Grace would talk to me on the telephone, or write me a letter or a Christmas card, the message was always the same. "Lewis is so brave; he never complains, he always has a smile for me whenever I come into his room — and that just makes it all worthwhile." I am sure those words are familiar to all of you here today."
gif set inspired by this iconic set, only i've used the just unearthed photos from Dick Winter's Lewis Nixon file.
#happy birthday lew <3#dick winter's left us all his love for you as an heirloom#lewis nixon#sorry for cropping you out irene...#band of brothers#hbo war#my edits#ynadotgif#easy archives
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BAND OF BROTHERS: EPISODE ONE + my favorite closeup shots
#bill guarnere#dick winters#carwood lipton#george luz#joe toye#luztoye#lewis nixon#donald hoobler#harry welsh#band of brothers#mine: gifs#did i need to include 10? no#but i love each of these and here's why#1 bc he's so absurdly cute and happy and carefree here it makes my heart melt#2 bc you can him trying so hard to keep his face neutral with sobel when he says 'what infractions sir?' and sobel says 'find some'#3 bc i could watch it all day... how does Lipton look so hot just moving his face like that???#4 bc there's no heterosexual explanation for this scene and i love these two being sexy goofballs together#5 bc it's the moment that almost single-handedly made Toye one of my earliest fave characters#6 bc that is literally Nix's expression when he sees Dick smiling tenderly at him... enough said#7 bc the early foreshadowing kills me UGHHH#8 bc he's pretty and glowing and there's that glimmer of mischief in his eyes#9 bc Harry is my most precious beloved wifeguy and goddamn what a smile#10 bc god it breaks my heart every time
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happy holidays, merry Christmas! come on in, they’re making cookies.
#Christmas#winter#happy holidays#worm on a string#hoping you all get a chance to relax and have fun today :)
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Done! Just in time for the holidays!
I'm so happy with it! It fits! It's so warm and cozy! The red is as amazing as I hoped it would be. 10/10 worth the effort.
I'm especially happy with managing to make actual sleeve heads that matched up with the bodice! I decided to completely cast of the sleeves, and I was afraid that the joining seam would end up bulky and weird, but it looks alright! I had to gather the sleeve head just a tiny bit at the top, but it doesn't show and I think just helps the fit.
The inspiration came from old folk costume from Dalarna in Swedish, where it was common with knitted sleeves on sewn bodices at the end of the 19th century. I love the red color and the bold patterns and decided to just... try something like it.
https://digitaltmuseum.se/011023089229/troja
I made my own pattern in an Google speadsheet and started knitting the sleeves and this summer. The pattern is bulkier because I could not be arsed the knit as tightly as the originals were - not only are they made on tiny needles, they're made using twined knitting, where you use two ends of yarn and twist them together between every stitch. That makes an incredibly tight and dense fabric, aaaand it takes forever and ever. I made a pair of socks like that and I just didn't have the patience for a whole damn sweater. And I anyway wanted to knit the bodice too.
#knitting#stuff i made#its even amazing winter weather here this year#gorgeous snow#having a warm woolen sweater is perfect!#happy holidays everyone#hope you all get to have some rest and peace#<333
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The @obikinzine is out in the wild now (mine just arrived and it's so beautiful!!) so I can share the piece I did for it! As a bonus it's reversible like a playing card :}
#my art#star wars#anakin skywalker#obi-wan kenobi#binary suns#binary sunset#honestly didn't intend for this to be literal pride flag colours as was thinking more psychedelic rainbow#plus i drew it in like autumn winter last year#but fuck it happy pride month to all who celebrate#i hope my art brings you joy#psychedelic art
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I FORGOT TO THROW OUT AFTER THE EPISODE RELEASED NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
#hand jumper#webtoon#sayeon lee#heron#ig??? BRUH..................#these fireworks are going to SET ME ON FIRE!!!!#but that's alr i guess!!!!!!!!!#because charcoal grilled prawn literally solves all my problems#before thinking about killing people i need everyone to sit down and think of their favourite food#and manifest the version of them that has it!!!!!!!!#maybe then all compulsions and intrusions of the mind can just go away#what if we all just pictured better versions of ourselves and just did it!!!#if we all stretched out our hands and tried we can at least live in the world knowing we did try!!#and it's better than not trying!!!!! AND BEING USELESS PIECES OF ROTTING GARBAGE!!!!!!#idk i've had a shit three years man i don't think i can take this any longer#IGNORE THAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#AND INSTEAD NOW LET'S THINK OF THE GOODIES YOU'RE GONNA GET IN TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#or now if you offer up your wallet to OUR LORD AND SAVIOUR sleepacross#and for the SMALL price of 5USD that's right 5USD!!!! this is to the people with credit/debit cards ofc#YOU CAN ACCESS THE GOATACROSS QNA BECAUSE IT IS PEAK!!!!!!#but just because the juninators[on here in case they aren't in the server] need to hear this so we can all sing happy birthday to her#INSTEAD OF MISSING IT FOR TWO YEARS#AND HAVING A WHOLE WINTER/CHRISTMAS COMPETITION IN DISCORD WITH MEMES AND ALL WITHOUT THIS CRUCIAL INFORMATION!!!!!!!#I THINK BECAUSE I KEEP THESE IN TAGS IT'S SAFE TO SAY THAT HER BIRTHDAY IS DEC 24TH AND WE SHOULD ALL SAY HAPPY LATE/HAPPY EARLY BIRTHDAY#TO OUR BELOVED QUEEN JUNI CHANG#BECAUSE NOW I JUST SHAFTED A 40K WIP I NEVER FINISHED FOR LAST YEAR'S WINTER SEASON FOR THE CHRISTMAS EPISODE OF 2024 IN THE RECYCLE BIN!!#BUT NOW WE CAN GIVE HER QUINTICE THE AMOUNT OF GIFTS THIS YEAR!!!!!!!!!!! SO LET'S DO THAT INSTEAD!!!!#ONE FOR HER BIRTHDAY!!!! ONE FOR CHRISLER!!! ONE FOR CIVIL SERVICE APPRECIATION DAY!!!!!#ANOTHER FOR BEING PEAK MENTOR!!!!! AND ANOTHER ONE FOR BEING GOD'S SILLIEST SOLDIER!!!![in our hearts!!]#APOLOGIES AS ALWAYS IF YOU MADE IT THIS FAR HERE!!!! AND A GOOD EVENING TO YOU ALL!!!!
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new friend :)
#artists on tumblr#art#illustration#christmas#winter#kind of to both#ghosts#<— that’s what the whole series is categorized in on my tumblr#smth cute - wishing you all happy holidays :) and if u don’t celebrate anything I hope u still have a good time!
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pleaaaase stop tagging wlw ships that are background on the mlm fics !!!!! the majority of that wlw ship tag is clogged up with mlm with just a dash of wlw when all the people want is them to be the stars PLEEASSSEEEEEE
#so happy yellowjackets exist#because all men are background and majorly unimportant#except javi my son i love him and he will survive the winter#no but think about how if you go in an mlm tag at least a majority of them are focused on said ship#but suddenly when it’s wlw#you have to dig through the trenches (at least five ao3 pages) before finding fic focused on that ship#IN THEIR OWN DAMN TAG!!!!!#ig it’d be harder if they’d want to filter it out if they removed it#but maybe. they should just learn how to read#or accept other opinions#anyways!#wlw#wlw ship#wlw post#sapphic#sapphic ships#if this is a safe space#genshin impact#NONE OF THE TOP RELATIONSHIPS ARE WLW#DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH I’VE HAD TO DIG FOR YANTAO FICS SOMETIMES#genshin#yantao#ganqing#eulamber#heavy side eye to#mauraders era#hp marauders#the digging i did for marylily was unacceptable#marylily#dorlene
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🌬 25th nov '23 — baking, enjoying the frosty weather and the feel of crisp air on my skin, wearing new chunky jumpers, watching christmas films, and reading thick classics (the tenant of wildfell hall is my current read, and it might just be a new favourite) <3
i adore this time of year so much. it always feels magical and (oddly) warm — everything is always a little softer around christmas time
#winter ily#btw i am aware it's technically not winter yet. but it's snowing so it is in my eyes lmao#i hope you're all happy and if not i'm sending you sm love and hug. hopefully this post gives you a little bit of warmth <3#literature aesthetics#photo diaries#photo diary#photography#books#bookish#bookblr#bookworm#bookstagram#dark academia#booklover#books and libraries#winter#winter wonderland#snow#baking#cooking#christmas#festive#autumn#beige#pinterest#studyblr#study space#study hard#beige fashion#🌬
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IDK if I'm phrasing this correctly, but in my brain, Vasco is, like, the personification (caninification?) of an afternoon chilling on a back porch swing.
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#ah#that's adorable#I can totally imagine him doing that#answered#anonymous#Vasco#to me he usually conjures the feeling of being warmed by sunlight#winters in northern Finland where I'm from tend to be pretty rough at least for me they are#they last about six months or so#sun starts to set earlier and earlier until it gets dark before 2 pm#in december the sun barely rises at all it's like this brief moment of twilight at noon between two 22+ hour nights#it gets harder to wake up in the morning and your energy levels plummet you go into battery saving mode#polar night messes up your brain seasonal depression gets really bad#and the cold and dark goes on and on and you feel like you'll never feel warm or happy or properly awake again#but eventually it starts to veer towards spring and on one day you notice that the sun is shining??!?!#not like bleakly and weakly but proper sunlight with warm hue and capability to actually warm the things it touches#you've forgotten what it looks like when it's truly light outside#and it's the craziest feeling to see bright natural light it blinds you and pierces right through into your very core#being kissed by the sun for the first time in months feels unreal it feels SO GOOD#I don't know it's probably not that big of a deal for people around me#but I personally react to things like changes in temperature and the amount of daylight pretty massively#I like to think that Vasco is a first ray of sunlight hitting you after you've spent what feels like an eternity in someplace cold and dark
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Back at it again with silly lil draw overs :3
#I’ve been wanting to draw this ALL DAY#so happy rn#this would def happen#it’s probably one of Summer’s nails she picked up while visiting Cantrip btw#because it’s my art and I say what happens/j#jrwi#jrwi pd#prime defenders#jrwi prime defenders#jrwi fanart#ashe winters#william wisp#dakota cole#vyncent sol#jrwi ashe winters#jrwi william#jrwi vyncent#jrwi dakota#Moomins gallery<3#:3s at you
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rdj the (whitewashed) electric boogaloo
This is a reminder to everyone who's excited about RDJ's casting as Doctor Doom that this casting is whitewashing. Victor Von Doom is a Romani character and has been a Romani character since his introduction in the 1960s. (Fantastic Four Annual #2 [1964]) Not only that, but his Roma identity and the persecution he and his family faced due to it is integral to his character, it is what forms his identity. (Books of Doom by Ed Brubaker) Even if on the off chance this casting is meant to not be Victor but instead be some variant of Tony or whomever else becoming Doctor Doom, it is damaging to the character to rob him of that important cultural background. Doctor Doom does not exist without that history. Fans have been pushing hard to cast Doom as a Romani actor for years, especially since the MCU has whitewashed other Romani characters. (Wanda, Pietro, etc) This casting is not a celebration moment, it's fucking heartbreaking that the MCU repeatedly ignores the important and nuanced cultural backstories of characters.
I know I can't change anybody's mind on whether or not you want to be excited about RDJ's return to the MCU. But I do think at the very least you should be mad that the MCU is baiting us all and destroying nuanced and interesting characters for the sake of self-referential easter eggs and nostalgia bait. Because that's what it is. Feel how you'd like to feel about RDJ's return, but personally, this is soul-sucking. I had such a deep love for the MCU as a teenager, it was obviously something incredibly formative to me, especially Tony Stark. This isn't recreating what I fell in love with the MCU for. This is turning a well-planned and artistic storyline of adaptations into cheap cash grabs and fan service. Because, I think we're past the point of being able to call the MCU an adaptation of anything. They can use existing characters' names and powers, but to say they're being properly adapted is laughable.
This is not an adaptation of Doctor Doom. This is RDJ the Electric Boogaloo because Marvel's fear of losing the interest of dedicated MCU fans overrides their willingness to tell stories that are genuine to the characters. I don't know what there is to be excited about that. The MCU has lost its authenticity and aside from a few projects, feels heartless. Every movie is a copy of a copy. This announcement isn't something celebratory, it feels like a death knell of a cinematic universe that's so desperate to cling to relevancy it's resorting to nostalgia for a character/actor who hasn't even been dead for a decade. We're not getting anything new, we're just rinsing and repeating the same song and dance.
I get it. I love Tony Stark, his death destroyed me and I to this day, rue the ending he got in Endgame. It misunderstood his arc and it robbed him of a satisfying conclusion. But the solution to that isn't dragging the corpse out of the grave five years later to whitewash an existing character with rich and interesting nuance, just to forcibly tie his existence in the MCU to Tony. Whether he is a variant or not. Why would you want someone else's fave's legacy to be destroyed simply so your fave's legacy can go on? Hell, if we were really all so hellbent on the return of RDJ and/or Tony to the MCU, we have the multiverse for a reason. There were other ways to do it that didn't whitewash and ruin someone else. This just. Isn't something to be happy about.
#... we will not be addressing that i'm a dead blog#no one say a WORD about my inactivity for 4 years this isn't about that /lh#also if anyone tries to get smart about “romani isn't a race” i don't care and you can shut up.#it's an ethnic and cultural identity. and it should be portrayed correctly.#ESPECIALLY for a character like *victor von doom* of all people. like it is fundamental to him.#i would've included panels of the comics mentioned but most of them use the g-slur and i don't wish to encourage that here#like listen i don't think you need to be a comics fan to be an mcu fan. they're so divorced from each other atp#nor do i think the mcu owes complete comic accuracy. but i do think you should at *least* care when characters are whitewashed.#look. i really don't want this to be a debate on if rdj's return is good or not#i've been frankly baffled at how many old mutuals are excited but. whatever if you want him back i get it.#but it shouldn't be like this. not at the expense of a different character.#this whole thing made me realize i'm *far* more jaded and turned off to the mcu than most of you guys are.#which is fair you can still be an mcu fan. if it brings you joy i'm so happy for you#but how does this like. bring joy i don't get it.#this is soulless. it's uninspired. it's done purely for shock value.#i occasionally get asks to this blog about why i left and asking me to come back#and i get it. i *want* to come back.#but i don't *care* about the mcu anymore. this is not the franchise i fell in love with.#i don't recognize what once meant everything to me.#winteriron will always hold a special place in my heart (as will tony stark)#but like. i just don't have love for it. and it sucks that this bullshit from marvel actively kills the love i had.#this sours tony stark to me. i'm sorry but it does. because was it really worth this? is this what his legacy has become?#this does cheapen his legacy btw. like without question. it turns him into a cheap cameo reference. heart of the mcu my ass.#my fandom circles have *massively* changed#i'm now entirely surrounded by comics fans bc my primary fandom is dc comics. that's what i'm up to these days#and the difference was actually baffling to me. everyone i follow now is *pissed* about this. comics twitter is so mad.#and then i see ppl on here excited and i'm just genuinely surprised this is something you want. i don't get it.#i don't say that to be rude. i just don't get it. how is *this* actually something people *want*.#do i still care about marvel? eh.#i like winter soldier comics and i could give a comprehensive rec list. and i read some other characters i deeply enjoy.
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You can pry girl dad Mark Winters out of my cold dead hands.
#Okay hear me out he was one and he would be still if whatever happened to mama winters didn’t happen they were a super close family he was a#girl dad and then tragedy. And things were difficult for him and then obviously he became a villain. So he and Ashe are more distant now an#their relationship is more strained but at the end of the day he loves Ashe so much and would do anything for her as long as she got to be#safe and happy. He’s a villain but he’s letting her hang out with the prime defenders because he knows they’re good for her! He became a#villain so he’d be able to support her. He loves her so much and he has an odd way of showing it but I’ve seen just how much this character#loves his child so much despite it all he’s not perfect no one is but he does everything he does so Ashe will be safe and secure and once a#girl dad always a girl dad he loves his trans daughter very much and he’s always supported her and he’s still a girl dad no matter what#I just have so many feelings about Mark Wavelength#I take back the thing I said about them saving bino instead of wavelength back I take it back so hard oh my god#jrwi#jrwi prime defenders#mark winters#wavelength#I JUST READ A FIC AND HE WAS SUCH A SHITTY DAD IN IT HES NOT HES A GIRL DAD WHO LOVES HIS DAUGHTER SO MUCH#I’m a Mark Winters defender and will always be one from now on#Mark wavelength I’m only on episode fifteen don’t do something heinous that makes me eat my words please I believe in you
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MEDIC! Part 41 (Donald Malarkey x Fem!OC)
It's been a year since I started this story. I posted last year on my birthday and I do the same again today. I want to thank everyone who has stuck with me while I write this, all your love and support is greatly appreciated, I love you all so much. So here's a birthday present from me. Thank you all again!
Based on the HBO show and the actors who portray the characters, not hate to anyone involved.
Tag list: @imusicaddict, @b00ks1ut, @mstiemountainhop, @awaterfalls, @lovememadly92, @lucyfromtheoldhouse, @blueberry-ovaries, @next-autopsy, @saintmalosunsets, @anaso12 anyone else please let me know.
I rubbed my eyes, blinking hard and then staring at the shimmer that mocked me. After everything that had happened, now it was back.
It glimmered in the sunlight. The oil slick transparent film didn’t move as I approached it. It was just as I had remembered. I stopped a metre away, too scared I would be sucked in if I walked any closer. The whole time my heart never stilled, it thumped in my ears as I glared at the film.
“Really you’re back after all this time?” I chastised the insentient object.
“Fuck you!” I screamed, I was far enough away from the base that no one would hear me. I picked up handfuls of stones and hurled them at the shimmer.
“Why did you do this to me? I didn’t ask for this!” My voice cracked as I yelled.
“I never asked for any of this! You brought me here, why are you back?” Tears slipped down my cheeks.
I didn’t know what I expected, that someone would magically pop out from inside the portal and explain to me why on earth it was me that was taken. That they would say it’s fine if you want to stay, this is just an offer, or, if you do not come back through the shimmer life as you know it would cease to exist.
But no, no one was here to answer my question. It was only the shimmer that sat perfectly still as I screamed at it, as I launched stones and debris its way. It didn’t cry out and ask me to stop, only mocked me with its silence.
“I hate you!” I screamed before I turned on my heel and sprinted away from the provoking portal.
—------------------------------
I sat on the floor packing and unpacking my bag for hours. Each time I packed the bag an overwhelming panic took hold of my chest and only eased when I took everything out of my medic bag.
“What are you doing?” I heard from behind me. I swivelled around in panic.
Don stood in the entrance, his brows knitted together in concern.
“How long have you been standing there?” I asked, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“Long enough to know you’re leaving. Why?” He started forward to where I sat criss-cross on the floor.
“Where are you going?” Don demanded when I didn’t answer.
“It’s back.” I uttered, not knowing what else to say.
“What’s back?” He stood looking down at me.
“The shimmer.” My voice was so quiet as I told him the truth. I watched his face fall and then his eyes flicked over my belongings that were scattered in front of me.
“You’re leaving.” It was a realisation that fell from his lips. “You can’t!”
“Don please don’t make this harder than it already is.” I begged, feeling tears spring to my eyes. It was hard enough to make this decision myself but for Don to beg me to stay was going to make it impossible.
“Why are you leaving?” Don genuinely asked.
“Because I have to!”
“Said who? The shimmer police?” His tone was serious.
“No. But why would it show up again if I was supposed to stay?” I was out of answers for him, I was just as confused as him about this. My heart was torn, I wanted to stay but I didn’t know the cost of that decision.
“What if I don’t leave and then everyone dies ‘cause I fucked it all up?” I let him into the thoughts that had been racing through my mind even before the shimmer had shown up again.
“If I stay and the world falls apart because of me and people die. I could never forgive myself.” I didn’t need to be the cause of anymore death, and if that meant giving up the one thing that made me happy then it was a sacrifice I would have to make.
“You know what I would do?” He asked joining me on the floor and taking my hands in his. “I would say fuck everyone else and choose you.”
“That’s easy for you to say you're not the one with this decision. I can’t say fuck everyone, that’s not me!” Don nodded he knew it wasn’t in my nature to put myself first.
“Why are you making this decision based on other people?” Don’s thumb rubbed absentmindedly over the back of my hand.
“Are you running because of what happened?” His eyes flicked up to meet mine.
I shook my head, my mouth twisting at the thought of what had happened only last night. The scars were still fresh, literally.
“No, I am doing what’s right, and that means I can’t stay, even though I want to!” I was already at my wits end without the appearance of the shimmer. Tears fell down my cheeks.
“Be selfish, for once in your life Em! Choose you!” Don pleaded, his hands tightly wrapped around mine as if I would disappear in a blink of an eye.
“I can’t!” I yelled, rising to my feet and pacing back and forward across the small room.
But Don continued, standing up as well to grab me as I passed by him. His hands firmly gripped on my shoulders. Don shook me as he spoke, as if trying to shake his words into me.
“Because other people would choose themselves, in your position they would choose to stay, not because of the greater good, but because they wanted to.” He was right, a lot of people would choose the outcome that would better accommodate them. But when have I ever put myself first?
“You deserve to be happy.” I wanted to be happy, after everything I had been through in life all I wished for was to be happy.
“I can’t be the cause of other people’s deaths.” I couldn’t have that weight on my shoulders, I couldn’t live my life knowing other people suffered for me. It just didn’t seem fair.
“Fuck everyone else Em. If you staying meant the world was going to end tomorrow, you know what I would choose, you I would choose you, because I love you.”
“That’s not fair Don!”
“I would die for you. I would choose my demise to spend one more day with you.” I choked back my sobs.
“So I would die for you, but you wouldn't die for me?” Don questioned. I understood why he was wandering. From his point of view I seemed to care about everyone else more than him.
“No, I am. If I go, I’m dying. I don’t think I could ever be happy again. But if that meant that you got to have a long and prosperous life, then I would die a million times over for you. And going home and living my life will be that.”
“Then live for me!” Don bargained. “What are you going back to there anyway, you have a family here!”
“Doesn’t mean I belong.”
“Emily, ever since you have arrived all you have done is belong. You fit right in, you were meant to be here. The shimmer brought you here for a reason, fate itself!” Don was right I may have been brought back to this time for a reason, but then it could've been random all the same.
“But what if it was only for a moment, only for a short while. What if I stay and everything falls apart because of me?” The lingering doom haunted me.
“There are so many what ifs, but what ifs don't answer your question. Where would you rather be?” Don gazed down at me with his intense brown eyes.
“Don’t make me answer Don, this is already so hard.” I hiccuped, I shook my head as I pushed away from him, turning my back on the man I loved.
“Which would you pick if there were no consequences?” His voice strained as emotions flooded through his soft tone.
“Here.” I whispered, still not facing him.
“So stay, there are no consequences, you can’t think of the what ifs that will only haunt you. If you go back and regret your decision, don’t you think that will tear you apart?” Don rounded me so he stood in front of me again, his hand finding the underside of my chin and tilting it up to look into his eyes. They shimmered with unshed tears.
“Yeah but what if I stay and the world ends and everyone I love dies! That would be even worse.” I emphasised my point over and over again, but still he fought against me.
“It wouldn’t matter if we were together!”
It would be an agree to disagree.
“I hate to break it to you Em, but everyone you love will die eventually. You can either be here for it or not.”
“The difference is I don’t want to be the cause.” I stood my ground. I would not be the reason for the world turning to fire and ash.
“I can’t face that. It will fucking kill me.” I would become a shell of myself if that was to happen. There would be no one for him to love anyway.
“So I can’t talk you out of it? After all this time you are going to choose everyone else over me?” Don’s hurt radiated down his body, his hand fell away from my face as he took a step back.
“Please Don don’t say it like that.” I begged stepping forward into his space but he kept his distance.
“It’s fine you have made your decision, I clearly can’t stop you. Even though I hate you right now, just know that I love you and I hope that haunts you till the day you die!” Don’s bitter tone was harsh as he stomped out of the room.
“Don!” I called after him as I chased him down. “I can’t leave with you hating me. If you love me you will let me go. You will respect my choice.”
He only looked down at me, anger and pain etched into his features.
“I will let you process this, while I say my goodbyes.” I kissed him gently on the cheek before turning to head back inside to pack my bag for the final time.
—---------------------------------------
I took a shaky breath before entering the mess hall. The men noticed my arrival waving me over to the table. I kept my own emotions at bay as they all smiled at me. This would be the last time I saw their faces.
“Hey boys!” I cooed to the men. They all stood from their seats as I rounded the table.
“Em, are you alright?” Lieb asked me as I sat beside him. I resisted the urge to reach up and brush my fingers through his hair.
“I’m ok.” I uttered softly.
A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips. I leant into him, my hands coming around his bicep as I lent my head against his shoulder.
“Em?” Lieb asked, craning his head to look down at me. “Why do you look like you have bad news?”
“Because I do.” A sombre tone fell over the table. I straightened myself from my position and stood.
“They have ordered me back home. Due to the events of last night, they don’t feel I am fit to continue my service.” I broke my lie to the men. Their faces fell as a groan of protest rippled through the group of my fellow Easy men.
“It’s ok Em, we’ll see you when we get back home.” Babe chirped as he grinned at me.
I could feel my heart ripping in my chest. He wouldn’t see me again. None of them would.
“Yeah!” My voice cracked as sadness seeped into my tone. I quickly righted the mistake. “We will all have a big party when you guys get home.” Lieb reached up, taking my hand in his, giving me a reassuring squeeze.
“But I’m going to miss all of you-” I had to pause to take a shaky breath before continuing. I laughed as the men looked up at me with concern on their faces.
“I’m ok, just sad that I won’t be able to see you guys for a while.” My other hand was taken by Bull. The man who had saved me right at the beginning of this mess.
“I want to come and give each one of you a hug goodbye. And then I’ll be off!” Complaints and offeres to were raised by the Easy men.
“Don said he wanted to have me all to himself before I left, so you all have to do as he wishes!” Malarkey hadn’t agreed to anything yet, but I couldn’t have the men sending me off through the portal.
The men thankfully agreed to my terms.
I went around the table taking each man into my arms. Tightly squeezing them one last time.
Lipton pulled me into his embrace as he whispered into my ear. “Be safe, Em.” I pulled back and his hands cupped my cheeks, brushing away the tears that slipped down them.
Perco grinned widely at me as I stood blubbering in front of him. “Hey, don’t cry! I’ll make you eggs anytime, and we won’t even have to get it from the source.” His arms wrapped around me rocking me side to side in a boisterous manner.
Martin hugged me like the dad I never had, pressing a soft kiss to my hair.
Luz opened his arms, tears glimmering in his own eyes. “Don’t cry George or you’ll make me cry more!”
“Who’s gonna laugh at my jokes?” His voice broke as he tried to be funny. I didn’t answer his question, only holding him closer.
Webster and Tab both gave me kisses to the cheeks, wishing me safely on my journey.
“Thank you for fixing me up Gene.” A bittersweet smile formed on his lips as he pulled me close.
“Thank you for being the best medic Em. I didn’t tell you enough but I think you make a wonderful nurse.” I buried my face into his shoulder as his hand stroked down my back.
Babe and I didn’t utter a word to each other, he only crushed me to his chest. We both quietly cried into each other's shoulders.
I pulled back, using my palm to wipe his face clean. “You’ll see me again Em.” He promised as I nodded tearfully.
Bull enveloped me into his arms like I was a small child who had curled into his lap. He pressed kisses to the top of my head. I listened to his thick twang as he spoke, “I’ll miss you little lady. Don’t be a stranger.”
Finally it was Lieb left. Only once in my life had I seen the man cry, but here he was looking up at me with tears in his eyes.
“Can’t believe you’re going.” He said as he rocked us back and forward. “What am I gonna do without you?”
“You’ll be fine Lieb.” I pulled back so I could memorise his face. He shook his head and took me into his embrace once again.
I waved goodbye to them all as I left the mess facility. I still had to find the rest of the officers.
I found Nix and Winters first. “Em are you doing alright?” Dick took in my appearance, my blotchy cheeks and bloodshot eyes.
“I came to take up your offer. I would like to leave.” The men looked shocked, glancing from me to each other.
“When would you like to leave?” Nix asked.
“As soon as possible.”
The men again looked even more flabbergasted.
“We have one at 1300hrs, a jeep can take you to the port and then you ship back home.” Dick reported, checking his watch. It was 1130am, I had a couple hours before my departure.
“Is that soon enough for you?” Dick’s eyes flicked up from his wrist.
I nodded. “Thank you both for all that you have done for me. Richard, thank you for taking me in, and trusting me. Lew, thank you for caring for me and keeping me safe.”
“You guys don’t know how much you mean to me. I never really had a male figure in my life. The love and support you have shown me in this small amount of time we have known each other, will fill up the rest of my lifetime and even after my death.” The men looked even more confused than before.
“Emily you’re only going home, we will see you again I’m sure.” Dick surged forward to bring me into his arms. His hand smoothed down my curls soothingly.
“I hope so.” I whispered into his jacket, latching my hands around his waist.
Pulling back I found Nix now at our side, I went from one man to the other. I flung my arms around Lew's neck as he nuzzled into me.
“Gonna miss ya kid.” Nix said softly into my hair. I could hear the thickness of emotion in his voice, as if he somehow knew that this was inevitably the end.
I finally stepped back from the embrace, sniffing and wiping away my tears that seemed endless.
“I don’t mean to be forward, but I love you both, so very dearly.” Both the men chuckled.
“We love you too Em.” Dick’s charming smile appeared on his lips.
“I’ve already said goodbye to all of the men, but there is just one more person I need to see.”
Dick nodded pointing back over his shoulder, “Should be somewhere in the office.”
I gave a thank you before scurrying off to find the said man.
My fist knocked on the wooden frame of the door that stood open. Speirs sat at his desk with his head down filing through papers.
“Come in.” Ron called without glancing to see who it was.
“Sir.” I started, but the sound of my voice caused the man to look up.
“Em!” He smiled at me. “What’s the occasion?”
Ron set aside the task he was working on to give me his full attention.
“I came to say goodbye. I’m leaving in a few hours, I’m gonna go home. I think it’s my time.”
Speirs sighed but smiled still. “I can’t say I’m surprised. You need the rest, after-” He paused, having to look away as he continued to speak. “After everything you’ve been through.”
“We’ll miss you. But I’m glad you won’t be coming to the Pacific, it’s not something you should be exposed to.”
I hummed in agreement. “Yeah, I think I just need to go home and relax. And don’t worry about giving me your treasures, I’ve got it all sorted out.” His brow pinched.
“It’s a gift.” Ron assured me.
“And I thank you for the kindness, but it isn’t necessary anymore.” I held my ground, there would be no one for him to send it to. I would rather he keep it.
“Oh, so you’re going, going.” Ron corrected.
“I’m sorry?” I asked, confused by his comment.
“You think I didn’t notice?” Speirs peered up at me, confusion lined my face.
“What?” My heart drummed in my ears.
“I’m a smart man, Emily. I have done my research on you. I have done my research on everyone. But you stood out. No records, nothing. I have been watching you, I notice things.” The more he spoke the more confused I became.
“You aren’t from here. I don’t know why or how, but I know you weren’t born during this time. And you’ve made the decision to go home.” Speirs stood from his chair and rounded the desk to stand in front of me.
“You’ve come to say goodbye for good. Haven’t you?” He bent down slightly so that he was looking me in the eyes.
I was speechless, all I could do was nod.
“How? How did you even come to that conclusion?”
“It doesn’t matter. It never mattered. But for some reason I assumed you would stay.” Speirs’ arms drew me in.
“What does Don think?” He asked as I laid my head on his chest.
“He hates me for it.” I admitted sourly.
“I’m sure he’ll come round.” Speirs reassured me as he cradled my face to his heart.
“I wanted you to walk me down the aisle.” My thoughts surged from my mouth before I could hold them back. I had thought about it when I was planning to stay. If I was to be wed to Don, Ron was the one I wanted to give me away.
“Good. No one else would be allowed but me.” Speirs chuckled.
My laughs turned into sobs as I clutched him closer. “Am I making a huge mistake?”
“You are doing what you think is best Em, and I trust you.” He pulled me back to look down at me. “Follow your heart.”
“Thank you for everything-”
“You don’t need to give me a big speech Em. I know how you feel about me and you know how I feel about you. Let’s just have this moment.”
I think I spent two hours with Ron. Most of it I spent sobbing, but to have those last few hours together before I left filled me with so much joy it hurt.
I tried to find Don, but he was nowhere to be seen and it was getting closer to when I would have to be out of sight.
Sobbing, I walked back to where I had found the shimmer. I walked faster before my selfishness got the best of me and I turned and walked the other way.
“Stop!” Don called from behind me.
“Don!” I pleaded, if he was here to stop me he was wasting his breath.
“I thought about it. And you’re right. If you love something, let it go. I hope you do the same Em. I want you to live a happy life, and even though I hate the idea, find someone who will make you happy. I will think about you everyday, you will forever be in my heart."
"I wanted to do a lot of things with you Em. I wanted to marry you and take you home to meet my family who would love you so much, by the way. I wanted you to be the mother of my kids, and the grandmother to their kids and hell even a great grandmother! I wanted to get old with you and live a quiet life, just me and you, sitting on the porch drinking ice tea."
"And we would argue and bicker, but only because we loved each other so much. You will forever be the love of my life, even if I can’t have you. You will be in my dreams every night, until the day I die. And when I die, I hope to find you again in every lifetime, if only just to know you. And even when you’re gone I will look for you in every woman I pass on the street and in the stores."
"You will have my heart now and forever. I love you so much, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me.” His speech was broken by his cries, but it was the most beautiful thing anyone has ever said to me.
“I love you Don. I wish I could choose to stay. I wish all those things could come true. You have captured my heart and I fear I will never love the same again. I will never love someone as deeply and as fiercely as I love you. I will never forget your laugh, the way you smile at me, the way you kiss me."
"You have seared yourself into my soul and I will carry you with me through every lifetime. I believe you are my one true love, and I will never find someone who makes me as happy as you do. Don’t think of this as goodbye, but see you again. I will find you, even if it’s only in my dreams. Thank you for coming.” I sobbed as he kissed my cheeks, then my lips.
The most tender goodbye kiss. One that left me breathless for more but broken hearted at the same time. We stayed wrapped in each other's arms, head pressed together as our breaths mingled.
I kissed him for the last time. “I love you.” I whispered softly.
I turned and walked towards the shimmer. I stood in front of the portal as it shone in the sunlight. I didn’t look back, I couldn’t, it would stop me.
Taking one last breath I stepped forward into the shimmer, before everything went black.
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Chapter 42
#happy birthday to me#im 24!#band of brothers#hbo war#donald malarkey#easy company#band of brothers fanfic#dick winters#ronald speirs#lewis nixon#Emily Lane#Emarkey#my fic#my oc#I love you all truly#I'm so sorry#forgive me
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