#Hacker is a loose term

[the-last-patch]

[Initializing]

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Hey everyone, it’s me again. I don’t know how we deal with time here on the Omninet yet but sorry if this finds you at an odd hour. For me, I don’t keep track of days or nights since PMC typically spends weeks to months traveling in space between jobs. As far as I know we’re the only mercenary company willing to take contracts in this space. I wish I could say more but a small group like Patchwork has gotta stay tight lipped lest we lose the people’s respect! I can say however that we’ve got a big job coming up, and the first steps of it start tomorrow! That being said…I wanted to tell you all a little about myself, In case this next sortie serves to be my last. I don’t intend for it to be, but I wouldn’t be a Merc if I wasn’t prepared to die every time I got into my Frame. Anyways, introductions and fun facts!

My name is, not important! You all can call me “Opossum” since that’s what everyone I know calls me anyways. I am a fairly experienced mercenary and pilot a mech which can be most closely described as a GMS EVEREST by the name of “Marsupial Mayhem”. Despite the aggressive name, I specialize in Hacking and controlling the area around me. If things get dicey, Marsupial Mayhem’s original base frame was a construction mech designed for digging meaning as long as there’s solid ground I can reposition. I usually save that as a last resort though, anyone who gets close enough to me to force me to move usually regrets it.

In the field I am wholly consumed by the mission, and often push my emotions to the side through the use of a neural cocktail PMC’s personal Doc. Not the healthiest habit to have I know, however I pay for it after every mission when the adrenaline and ecstasy wears off. Off the field, well you kind of know how I am already! I like to think I’m friendly, amiable, and a joy to be around, but most of my coworkers would just describe me as “silly” and “deceptively mature” whatever that means. In my free time I like to fix up old tech which most people consider scrap. My favorite things to fix are actually considered “old humanity relics”. I’ll get into how I got most of mine another time, but I was referring to cassette tapes! In case you’re unfamiliar they’re handheld devices which contain an audio recording, most often music, and can play it back with the use of an analogue player. They’re super cool, and if anyone has and is willing to part with them I’ll make sure you get your Manna worth! Anyways I digress, I should get some rest before this Sortie tomorrow. Thanks for indulging my pointless rambling everyone, see you all starside!

P.XV “Opossum”, Signing off.

[Transmission End]

[mostlysignssomeportents]

An open copyright casebook, featuring AI, Warhol and more

I'm coming to DEFCON! On Aug 9, I'm emceeing the EFF POKER TOURNAMENT (noon at the Horseshoe Poker Room), and appearing on the BRICKED AND ABANDONED panel (5PM, LVCC - L1 - HW1–11–01). On Aug 10, I'm giving a keynote called "DISENSHITTIFY OR DIE! How hackers can seize the means of computation and build a new, good internet that is hardened against our asshole bosses' insatiable horniness for enshittification" (noon, LVCC - L1 - HW1–11–01).

Few debates invite more uninformed commentary than "IP" – a loosely defined grab bag that regulates an ever-expaning sphere of our daily activities, despite the fact that almost no one, including senior executives in the entertainment industry, understands how it works.

Take reading a book. If the book arrives between two covers in the form of ink sprayed on compressed vegetable pulp, you don't need to understand the first thing about copyright to read it. But if that book arrives as a stream of bits in an app, those bits are just the thinnest scrim of scum atop a terminally polluted ocean of legalese.

At the bottom layer: the license "agreement" for your device itself – thousands of words of nonsense that bind you not to replace its software with another vendor's code, to use the company's own service depots, etc etc. This garbage novella of legalese implicates trademark law, copyright, patent, and "paracopyrights" like the anticircumvention rule defined by Section 1201 of the DMCA:

https://www.eff.org/press/releases/eff-lawsuit-takes-dmca-section-1201-research-and-technology-restrictions-violate

Then there's the store that sold you the ebook: it has its own soporific, cod-legalese nonsense that you must parse; this can be longer than the book itself, and it has been exquisitely designed by the world's best-paid, best-trained lawyer to liquefy the brains of anyone who attempts to read it. Nothing will save you once your brains start leaking out of the corners of your eyes, your nostrils and your ears – not even converting the text to a brilliant graphic novel:

https://memex.craphound.com/2017/03/03/terms-and-conditions-the-bloviating-cruft-of-the-itunes-eula-combined-with-extraordinary-comic-book-mashups/

Even having Bob Dylan sing these terms will not help you grasp them:

https://pluralistic.net/2020/10/25/musical-chairs/#subterranean-termsick-blues

The copyright nonsense that accompanies an ebook transcends mere Newtonian physics – it exists in a state of quantum superposition. For you, the buyer, the copyright nonsense appears as a license, which allows the seller to add terms and conditions that would be invalidated if the transaction were a conventional sale. But for the author who wrote that book, the copyright nonsense insists that what has taken place is a sale (which pays a 25% royalty) and not a license (a 50% revenue-share). Truly, only a being capable of surviving after being smeared across the multiverse can hope to embody these two states of being simultaneously:

https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/21/early-adopters/#heads-i-win

But the challenge isn't over yet. Once you have grasped the permissions and restrictions placed upon you by your device and the app that sold you the ebook, you still must brave the publisher's license terms for the ebook – the final boss that you must overcome with your last hit point and after you've burned all your magical items.

This is by no means unique to reading a book. This bites us on the job, too, at every level. The McDonald's employee who uses a third-party tool to diagnose the problems with the McFlurry machine is using a gadget whose mere existence constitutes a jailable felony:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/20/euthanize-rentier-enablers/#cold-war

Meanwhile, every single biotech researcher is secretly violating the patents that cover the entire suite of basic biotech procedures and techniques. Biotechnicians have a folk-belief in "patent fair use," a thing that doesn't exist, because they can't imagine that patent law would be so obnoxious as to make basic science into a legal minefield.

IP is a perfect storm: it touches everything we do, and no one understands it.

Or rather, almost no one understands it. A small coterie of lawyers have a perfectly fine grasp of IP law, but most of those lawyers are (very well!) paid to figure out how to use IP law to screw you over. But not every skilled IP lawyer is the enemy: a handful of brave freedom fighters, mostly working for nonprofits and universities, constitute a resistance against the creep of IP into every corner of our lives.

Two of my favorite IP freedom fighters are Jennifer Jenkins and James Boyle, who run the Duke Center for the Public Domain. They are a dynamic duo, world leading demystifiers of copyright and other esoterica. They are the creators of a pair of stunningly good, belly-achingly funny, and extremely informative graphic novels on the subject, starting with the 2008 Bound By Law, about fair use and film-making:

https://www.dukeupress.edu/Bound-by-Law/

And then the followup, THEFT! A History of Music:

https://web.law.duke.edu/musiccomic/

Both of which are open access – that is to say, free to download and share (you can also get handsome bound print editions made of real ink sprayed on real vegetable pulp!).

Beyond these books, Jenkins and Boyle publish the annual public domain roundups, cataloging the materials entering the public domain each January 1 (during the long interregnum when nothing entered the public domain, thanks to the Sonny Bono Copyright Extension Act, they published annual roundups of all the material that should be entering the public domain):

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/20/em-oh-you-ess-ee/#sexytimes

This year saw Mickey Mouse entering the public domain, and Jenkins used that happy occasion as a springboard for a masterclass in copyright and trademark:

https://pluralistic.net/2023/12/15/mouse-liberation-front/#free-mickey

But for all that Jenkins and Boyle are law explainers, they are also law professors and as such, they are deeply engaged with minting of new lawyers. This is a hard job: it takes a lot of work to become a lawyer.

It also takes a lot of money to become a lawyer. Not only do law-schools charge nosebleed tuition, but the standard texts set by law-schools are eye-wateringly expensive. Boyle and Jenkins have no say over tuitions, but they have made a serious dent in the cost of those textbooks. A decade ago, the pair launched the first open IP law casebook: a free, superior alternative to the $160 standard text used to train every IP lawyer:

https://web.archive.org/web/20140923104648/https://web.law.duke.edu/cspd/openip/

But IP law is a moving target: it is devouring the world. Accordingly, the pair have produced new editions every couple of years, guaranteeing that their free IP law casebook isn't just the best text on the subject, it's also the most up-to-date. This week, they published the sixth edition:

https://web.law.duke.edu/cspd/openip/

The sixth edition of Intellectual Property: Law & the Information Society – Cases & Materials; An Open Casebook adds sections on the current legal controversies about AI, and analyzes blockbuster (and batshit) recent Supreme Court rulings like Vidal v Elster, Warhol v Goldsmith, and Jack Daniels v VIP Products. I'm also delighted that they chose to incorporate some of my essays on enshittification (did you know that my Pluralistic.net newsletter is licensed CC Attribution, meaning that you can reprint and even sell it without asking me?).

(On the subject of Creative Commons: Boyle helped found Creative Commons!)

Ten years ago, the Boyle/Jenkins open casebook kicked off a revolution in legal education, inspiring many legals scholars to create their own open legal resources. Today, many of the best legal texts are free (as in speech) and free (as in beer). Whether you want to learn about trademark, copyright, patents, information law or more, there's an open casebook for you:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/08/14/angels-and-demons/#owning-culture

The open access textbook movement is a stark contrast with the world of traditional textbooks, where a cartel of academic publishers are subjecting students to the scammiest gambits imaginable, like "inclusive access," which has raised the price of textbooks by 1,000%:

https://pluralistic.net/2021/10/07/markets-in-everything/#textbook-abuses

Meanwhile, Jenkins and Boyle keep working on this essential reference. The next time you're tempted to make a definitive statement about what IP permits – or prohibits – do yourself (and the world) a favor, and look it up. It won't cost you a cent, and I promise you you'll learn something.

Support me this summer on the Clarion Write-A-Thon and help raise money for the Clarion Science Fiction and Fantasy Writers' Workshop!

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/07/30/open-and-shut-casebook/#stop-confusing-the-issue-with-relevant-facts

Image: Cryteria (modified) Jenkins and Boyle https://web.law.duke.edu/musiccomic/

CC BY-NC-SA 4.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/4.0/

[cyberpunkonline]

What is a Cypherpunk?

The term "cypherpunk" refers to a movement and a community of activists advocating for the widespread use of strong cryptography and privacy-enhancing technologies as a route to social and political change. Emerging in the late 1980s and early 1990s, the cypherpunk movement is a confluence of libertarian political philosophy, hacker ethos, and cryptographic science.

The Core Traits of Cypherpunks

1. Advocacy for Privacy and Anonymity: Cypherpunks champion the right to privacy, emphasizing that individuals should have control over their personal information and digital footprints. This advocacy is often in direct opposition to government surveillance and corporate data collection practices.

2. Use of Cryptography: The cornerstone of the cypherpunk movement is the use of strong cryptography to secure communications and transactions. Cypherpunks believe that through cryptographic techniques, individuals can protect their privacy in the digital world.

3. Open Source and Decentralization: A significant trait among cypherpunks is the belief in open-source software and decentralized systems. This ethos promotes transparency, security, and resistance to censorship and control by central authorities.

Who are the Cypherpunks?

The cypherpunk community consists of programmers, activists, academics, and technologists. Notable figures include Julian Assange, the founder of WikiLeaks; Jacob Appelbaum, a former spokesperson for the Tor Project; and Hal Finney, a pioneer in digital cash systems. The manifesto "A Cypherpunk's Manifesto" by Eric Hughes (1993) [https://www.activism.net/cypherpunk/manifesto.html] eloquently encapsulates the philosophy and ideals of this movement.

The Cypherpunk Movement

Cypherpunks are not a formal organization but rather a loosely associated group sharing common interests in cryptography and privacy. The movement's origins can be traced to the “Cypherpunks” mailing list, started in 1992 by Eric Hughes, Timothy C. May, and John Gilmore. This list served as a platform for discussing privacy, cryptography, and related political issues.

Relation to Cyberpunk Principles

While cypherpunks share some overlap with the cyberpunk genre of science fiction, they are distinct in their real-world activism. Cyberpunk literature, like William Gibson's "Neuromancer" (1984) [https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/6088006-neuromancer], often presents a dystopian future where technology is pervasive and oppressive. In contrast, cypherpunks aim to use technology, specifically cryptography, as a tool for empowerment and resistance against such dystopian futures.

Notable Contributions and Technologies

The cypherpunk movement has been instrumental in the development of technologies that emphasize privacy and security:

Tor (The Onion Router): A free and open-source software for enabling anonymous communication [https://www.torproject.org/].

Pretty Good Privacy (PGP): A data encryption and decryption program that provides cryptographic privacy and authentication [https://www.openpgp.org/].

Bitcoin: The creation of Bitcoin by an individual or group under the pseudonym Satoshi Nakamoto was heavily influenced by the ideas of the cypherpunk movement. It embodies principles of decentralization and financial privacy [https://bitcoin.org/en/].

Wikileaks: Founded by Julian Assange, WikiLeaks is a multinational media organization that publishes news leaks and classified media provided by anonymous sources [https://wikileaks.org/].

Conclusion

The cypherpunk movement is a critical lens through which to view the ongoing dialogue about privacy, security, and freedom in the digital age. While not an organized group, the collective impact of cypherpunks on modern cryptography, internet privacy, and digital rights is profound. As digital technology continues to permeate every facet of our lives, the principles and contributions of the cypherpunk community remain more relevant than ever. - REV1.

[videostarblogs]

9. fairy kei

fairy kei is a whimsical and pastel infused fashion style that emerged from Japan's harajuku district, blending elements of 1980s pop culture, fantasy, and a distinctly "kawaii" aesthetic. here is my breakdown of fairy kei!!!!!!!!

origins and development

harajuku influence: fairy kei originated in the early 2000s in Tokyo's harajuku district, a hub for avant grade and youth fashion. the style was heavily influenced by the nostalgia for 1980s and early 1990s pop culture, particularly American cartoons, toys, and fashion trends from that era.

fairy tale and fantasy elements: the term fairy kei loosely translates to "fairy style" reflecting its ethereal and magical inspiration. the style blends fantasy with a playful, childlike innocence, often drawing inspiration from fairy tales, magical girls, and pastel colored things!

iconic brands: brands like spank!, 6%DOKIDOKI, and Nile perch were instrumental in popularizing fairy kei. these stores sold vintage 80s items, as well as their own creations that embodied the pastel, cute, retro vibe of the style

key motifs

pastel color palette: the defining characteristic of fairy kei is its pastel color scheme. soft pinks, baby blue, lavender, mint green, and pale yellow dominate the aesthetic. outfits often consist of multiple pastel shades, creatings a dreamy, candy like appearance.

1980s and 1990s pop culture: fairy kei fashion heavily references 80s 90s pop culture, including cartoons like My Little Pony, care Bears, Rainbow Brite, and Strawberry Shortcake these motifs appear on clothing, accessories, and even as plush toys carried as part of the outfit.

layering and tutu skirts: layering is a common practice in fairy kei. tutu skirts, often made of tulle or similar materials, are paired with oversized sweaters, graphic t-shirts, or pastel jackets. the overall look is voluminous and soft.

cute and playful accessories: accessories are a vital part of fairy kei. bows, star and moon motifs, hearts, and other playful, childlike elements are incorporated into the outfit. hair accessories like large bows, ribbons, and headbands are essential, as are colorful socks, tights, and legwarmers

diy and handmade items: many fairy kei enthusiasts incorporates diy elements into their outfits. customizing clothing with patches, glitter, or handmade jewelry adds a personal touch and enhances the unique, whimical feel of the style.

soft and natural makeup: makeup in fairy kei is generally soft and subtle, designed to enhance the natural, youthful appearance. pale pink, light lipstick, and pastel eyeshadow are common, along with the occasional use of stickers or face gems for a more magical look.

simple pastel hair: hair is often dyed in pastel colors to match the outfit, such as lavender, pink, or baby blue. simple styles like pigtails, braids, or loose curls are preferred, often adorn with bows or cute hair clips.

music

the music associated with fairy kei often aligns with its cute and nostalgic aesthetic. jpop, particularly songs with a playful and bubbly vibe, fits well. artists like kyary pamyu pamyu, who embodies a colorful and whimsical style, resonate with fairy kei enthusiasts. 1980s pop music, especially upbeat and fun tracks, also influences the style, reflecting the era that inspired much of fairy kei fashion. here are some artists I recommend

kyary pamyu pamyu

perfume

capsule

dempagumi.inc

poppy

shoko nakagawa

tommy february 6

macross 82-99

neko hacker

sweetune

movies

movies that emphasize fantasy, magic, and nostalgia are key inspirations for fairy kei. films like labyrinth, the neverending story, and animated classics such as my little pony or rainbow Brite and the star stealer, capture the essence of the aesthetic. anime and films that feature magical girls or fantasy elements, like sailor moon or studio ghiblis my neighbor totoro, align well with the fairy kei vibe. here are movies I suggest.

the secret world of arrietty (2010)

my neighbor totoro (1988)

kikis delivery service (1989)

ponyo (2008)

the cat returns (2002)

little Nemo: adventures in slumberland (1989)

cardcaptor Sakura: the movie (1999)

sailor moon r: the movie (1993)

a little princess (1995)

puella magi Madonna magica: the movie (2012)

books and other medias

manga and anime: magical girl anime like sailor moon, cardcaptor Sakura, and pretty cure are beloved in the fiary kei community. these shows feature pastel colors, magical themes, strong, cute heroines that embody the aesthetic.

fashion magazine: Japanese magazines such a as KERA and zipper often feature fairy kei fashion, providing styling tips, DIY tutorials and showcasing the latest trends within the community.

social media and online communities: platforms like Instagram, Tumblr, and Pinterest are vital for the fairy kei enthusiasts to share outfit inspiration, DIY projects, and connect with others in the community. social media has played a significant role in spreading the fairy kei aesthetic globally.

inspo

overall, fairy kei is a soft, pastel, and nostalgic fashion style that blends elements of 1980s pop culture with a dreamy, childlike fantasy. it is defined by its use of pastel colors, playful accessories, and references to vintage cartoons and toys. the style us a celebration of whimsy, imagination, and a return to the innocent joys of childhood, making it both visually distinctive and emotionally resonant for those who embrace it.

make sure to like, reblog, follow, and/or leave a request on my profile. TYSM!!!!!!!!

videostar signing off....................................

[profoundbondfanfic]

Hey:) im trying to find this one fic i’ve read a couple years ago and i hoped maybe you guys could help. it’s a college!au where dean is pretty much excited to let loose and sleep his way around college but he like bumps into cas on his very first day and immediately falls in love with him on first sight

Hello! There are quite a few fics that could fit, but here are the ones we could remember:

California Waiting by ballsdeepinwinchesters [Explicit, 172k words]

Dean and Castiel's relationship has evolved over time- from strangers to roommates, roommates to friends, friends to best friends. The most troublesome evolution came to pass when they went from being best friends to "We're just friends."

Hey, Alpha! by zation [Explicit, 38k words]

Cas has always been considered too meek and timid to be what people call a real Alpha. Dean, on the contrary, has always been looked at as too bold and presumptuous to be a proper Omega. Or, The one where Cas is clearly Dean’s Alpha, any idiot can see that.

The Dean Winchester Beat Sheet by saltyfeathers [Explicit, 144k words]

In his final year of college, Dean Winchester’s got a lot of decisions to make: what he’s going to do with his life, where he’s going to do it, and most importantly, which girl he’s going to do... right now. And later tonight. And the next night. And the next— When new transfer student Castiel Novak shows up first in his class, and then his friend group, Dean can’t help but see it as an infiltration. Something is up with Castiel, and he’s going to find out what. More accurately, he’s going to enlist his best and longest suffering hacker friend, Charlie Bradbury, to do it for him. Not a single one of Dean’s suspicions has anything to do with the fact that upon their first meeting, Castiel insults his shoes, his general existence, and his masculinity by— looking at him like that.

When We Were Young by FriendofCarlotta [Explicit, 41k words]

2006: Castiel Novak, a new transfer student at Franklin College, strikes up a friendship with popular senior Dean Winchester. He quickly falls in love, but Dean is still coming to terms with his sexuality, so Castiel resigns himself to pining from a distance. Just as Dean and Castiel’s relationship begins to change, everything falls apart, and Dean leaves town without so much as a goodbye. 2019: Dean hasn’t set foot in his old college town in more than a decade; not since the day Cas, the love of his life, broke his heart. When Dean finally returns to Franklin College for a job interview, he finds that Cas never left. Will the two of them be able to clear up the misunderstanding that tore them apart?

[hackerqueen]

In The Stars

author's note: i missed writing one shots (you also know that i love writing sad stories) hope you like it!

She couldn't tell fact from fiction anymore.

She hadn't slept through the night in so long because thoughts of him haunted her constantly. Every attempt to nap ended the same way. With her eyes closed, she saw the hundreds of messages she exchanged with him. From the worst ones, where both lacked hope, but their presence gave them strenght, to the sweet ones, where they forgot about the world around them. Where the group, the Hannah search or the government didn't matter. Where they were just two people who were blindly in love with each other. Where in these small moments they could breathe a sigh of relief and find their own definition of peace.

She was reliving them all. And she regretted so much that those moments were so few. That she didn't get to know him fully. That they did not experience what other lovers in great romantic novels did.

Despite the passage of time, she could not come to terms with it, much less erase it from her memory. Then it was all about him. Every thought, every dream or whisper in her head. She never expected his departure to be so painful. The hole that was still bleeding in her heart was making her breathing more shaky than normal. Every day she fell apart, only to put herself back together again in the evening. However, after the nightmares that haunted her at night, the morning came when she had to face the world again, pretending that she was still alive, even though she couldn't live anymore.

Every day she tried to forget everything. Get rid of every memory left of him. But she felt him all the time. And she was sure that she will always feel him.

A few months later she was sitting on the edge of the roof, her legs hanging loosely and the cool night wind chilling her body. The night was absolutely beautiful. A full moon and thousands of stars illuminated her face. With a sigh, she reached into the pocket of her black sweatshirt to pull out the box of pills she put away each day. She poured some into her palm and swallowed them without sipping. She closed her eyes, blowing steam from her mouth due to the low temperature. She tried to let herself feel the blissful state she usually felt after the drugs that somehow allowed her to fight another day.

– Bad day?

Hearing a soft voice behind her, she immediately opened her eyes and turned her head.

He was standing there. In the darkness of the night she couldn't see his face, but the silhouette of the hacker made her feel a longed-for peace. A pleasant warmth spread inside her, as if someone had poured hot water on her frozen body.

– You are here. – she whispered in a trembling voice – You're here again.

She watched as he started walking towards her, nodding his head in response. He sat down next to her. His face was still blurred as if pixelated, but she could recognize his blue eyes, which were always calm, harmonious, and warm. So much warmth that could have lulled her to sleep. They felt so real that once again she was sure it was really him.

– You know these meetings of ours are... – He paused and scratched the back of his neck, searching for the right word. – Alarming.

She smiled. However, the smile did not last long, because after a few moments tears stung under her eyelids and she was not going to stop them. Not here and not with him.

– You can't keep doing this.

– I'm trying to quit it, all the time, but it's just too hard. – she looked down at her lap and he took her hand

But she felt nothing but coldness and lasting emptiness.

Then she burst into even more sobs that shook her whole body. She choked on it, as she had that night when she found out about the mine explosion.

– Please don't cry. – he said softly as his other hand caressed her cheek where he was wiping away the tears – It's okay.

– No, it's not. – she croaked – Tell me what I can do to make you stay? What can I do so you won't leave?

He looked straight into her eyes, still gently holding her cheek, on which he was drawing patterns unknown to her with his thumb.

– You can't do anything because you know perfectly well that I'm not..

– Please don't say that – she whimpered, looking pleadingly into his eyes

She didn't want to hear it because each time it felt like the hole in her heart was growing even bigger.

– I'm not here, MC.

The words vanished into the air with the gust of wind. MC squeezed her eyes shut as more hot tears ran down her face. She hated those moments. She hated them because even though she knew he was right, she still couldn't accept it.

She opened her eyes and the seat next to her was empty. He hadn't been there for long, endless months. He never showed up. It was only an illusion and an image of her riddled psyche, which she could not part with. It was the last thing left of him.

It's been five whole months. She knew that tomorrow would be another day when no one would notice that something was wrong. And she would come back here again to feel his presence for a while. In the middle of the night, where only the stars will witness their meeting. She knew it was bad for her. But she couldn't muster the courage to say goodbye.

More than anything in the world, she wished Jake would still haunt her.

"I don't wanna say goodbye, 'cause this one means forever

And now you're in the stars and six-feet's never felt so far

Here I am alone between the heavens and the embers"

[mechazushi]

SK8 X Kn8

So I totally haven't put any thought into this AT ALL and I'm totally not procrastinating on working on two other fanfics right now and I haven't been debating on whether or not I should even post this, but none of that matters now because I feel it's been a little bit of a slow week for the respective fandoms that I'm apart of.

Langa

Off the street hire. Didn't go to a Neutralization School, passed the exam just fine, didn't come across as a prodigy at first, and when asked why he joined up he says " Nothin' much else better to do, I guess." Joe and Cherry kinda look out for him a little and at one point decide to introduce him to Reki. Not the smoothest encounter, but it became clear that something about Reki helped turn a light on upstairs in Langa. Since then, he's been blazing through the aptitude levels.

He becomes powerful enough to gain a custom weapon that Reki has a direct hand in. It's got the head of the Exploding Pick Ax from Lies of P, the whip-around ability that the Puppet Ripper has (God above, why isn't there a gif of it?), the over-decorative design of a Genshin Impact weapon, and for some reason an ice version of the Sky Primal Stone from The Dragon Prince right in the center of the pick ax head.

Reki

Also an off the street hire, he barely made it past qualifying, only to find out he has a bit of a debilitating issue. He's like Iharu, with that they both have the whole "Suit Aptitude varies with concentration" problem, but Reki's is kinda worse. Not only does he have a wide range of variability, its stuck on the lower end. It's around 10 (or lower on a bad day) to 15 normally. If he remembers to take medication and the mental exercises, he can get it to 38.... for about three minutes and then we hit Problem Number Two. After those three minutes of intense concentration, he kinda goes non-verbal and fully deer-in-headlights. Basically gets overstimulated and shuts down.

Which is why he was passed around from different parts of his division before making a home in Weapons Development and Research. And I use the term "home" loosely. Everyone sorta treats him like a Ghost in the Machine. Everyone there chips in to help make sure Reki runs smoothly like they're doing routine maintenance on a piece of equipment, but there's also some bits of superstition that go along with it. Like they set up his daily pill dispenser behind his back and they built one specifically designed to dispense a cookie with the pills because that's the only way to encourage him to take his ADHD meds, they buy these fruity water powder mix-ins to leave in the break room right next to free water bottles to trick him into drinking water at some point and keep track of his energy drink intake, and if someone's feeling generous, they buy a plushy. They have to wash it in unscented detergent first tho lest it gets politely rejected by the Lab Demon (This isn't a term on endearment. They call him that behind his back) They do this because if they didn't, he wouldn't get work done and the work that he DOES get done is worth making sure someone at all times is keeping tabs on him.

Literally, there is an entire corner that Reki has taken over in the lab/workshop that has a mini fridge, a beanbag, and a pile of plushies around it. There's even a sign and the lab's been slightly reorganized to shuffle some of the machines closer to his corner to guilt trip him into getting work done.

I do picture him having a weapon anyway even though he's not technically allowed out on the field. To start, it's basically a bare bones metal exoskeleton with digi legs. Think if you took all the plating off of the power loader from the Aliens movie and it looked like 60% metal pipe, 20% exposed wires, and a mix-mash of children's drawing concept, hopes and prayers, and a Furry Hacker's influence. The arms are the Praying Mantas Blades from Cyberpunk 2099 and up-scaled DRASTICALLY. The blades themselves are as long as the chassie + wearer is TALL. Reki actually prefers walking around on its hands and feet like it's a Stilt Walker costume. There are also two holsters for handguns strapped to the chassie's thighs. The whole thing can be folded up and shrunk into the size of a companion cube and has a carrying handle.

I also have an idea for a Kaiju Reki, but that's gonna have to be a separate post. If ya'll liked this one enough, then I'll talk about it, as well as the ideas I have for Joe and Cherry's weapon.

[pinesfamilyguidetotheweird]

There's something I wanted to share, something that kinda saved me from my several burnouts with Cipher's Will.

The existence of Expy characters.

Basically characters that are either loosely or (usually) deliberately based off an already existing character.

I have technically made one already for a Hazbin Hotel fic. I say technically because the character design was not mine, but was shown briefly in the pilot: a hispanic looking demoness who was present during Charlie's interview. I loved her design and decided to make a fic based around her even though she didn't really have...anything to write about. So, I based her off the La Llorona legend with a bit of Blue Diamond in terms of feeling great lament and making other sinners cry in her woe.

When I remembered this, I decided to write characters based on ones that I liked.

I figured if I did this, I'd have a bet more freedom because I felt so much pressure with the crossover characters as I wanted to add basically everything that was connected to that character and it was part of the reason I was burning out.

The beauty of expies to me is to take these characters and kinda give them a new breath of fresh air, especially since they're based off my favs.

I'm not really sure if you can call them OCs...then again, originality is kinda hard to come by.

Plus, I've been wanting something specific and those specifics fit the already existing characters, buuuut...(reasons above). Not only that, but I was gonna be upfront about it anyways, sooo...

Really though, I'd like to use these characters outside of Cipher's Will and I'm gonna do just that.

Rimona Ethon-Jess

She is a singer and supermodel and daughter of a lesbian couple. I've based her on Garnet from Steven Universe. Really, the only differences between these two is Rimona's lack of Gems on her hands, future visions (or rather she might have some level of clairvoyance, just not the level of Garnet), and a third eye (though she does wear a bindi at times for meditative purposes).

She has two adoptive kids, Twig and Molly Westwood.

Yes, those are the names Anne used for her 'Shut In' story. As for the surname, its a reference to Humphrey Westwood (who's basically a human expy of Hop-Pop...shoot, remember the Curator?). Now, whether or not these characters are related is up to you. Twig is set to be Dipper's new friend usually with his return to the Falls (whenever that happens) whereas Molly kinda does her own thing, though she does become a fan of McGucket labs.

Next up is another character based on a character in Steven Universe, Glenn Finnegan.

He's a robotics prodigy from Ireland and a four-limbed amputee. He's also a freelance hacker and a gamer and has built a little robotic companion, plus a few pet plants.

Yet another character based on a Steven Universe character, plus others, Alexei Akoyevich Agapov

A slightly effeminate Russian-Japanese retired ice skater now cafe owner. He has a bit of Pearl's personality and body type and a bit of Fai D Flourite’s personality and fences as a hobby. He lives with his long term boyfriend.

The next character is interesting: Marilyn Rosenstein.

Yes. THAT Marilyn Rosenstein mentioned in Journal 3. I started to generate an idea that Marilyn was already an existing character and just so happens to share a lot in common with Eda (hell, I think Eda is an expy of Ryoko Hakubi), even with how she looked and that's how Eda was able to blend in. Heck, Marilyn also just so happens to be a witch too (albeit of the Earth variety). She lacks a golden tooth and curse, though. Now...Did Stan meet Marilyn first or was it always Eda? You decide!

Similar to Rimona, Marilyn has also two wards, two anthropomorphic wolves named Fenny and Yue.

Fenny is the youngest of the two, being slightly younger than Gideon, and Yue is around the same age as Wendy and her friends. Fenny and Yue aren't related to each other, though Yue was found with Fenny. Fenny is physically similar to King Clawthorne and can be demanding at times and likes to go on adventures. As for Yue, they're like a mix between Loona from Helluva Boss and Amethyst, though a little more on the brooding shy side, similar to Loona.

---------------------------------------

Annnnd, that's about it!

I do have original characters that...I'm not entirely sure if they could be expies too, lol.

Here, let me share a few.

Seiko Habutai

She is shown in the first chapter of Back in the Falls. I kinda wanted her to be almost the opposite of Wendy (more ladylike and proper, the Ojou-Sama, if you will), but that doesn't stop her from getting dirty if she has to be.

Ashe

A dark skinned elf, who is also set to be a friend of Dipper. Speaking of elves, they are different here from what is shown in media. First off, the tribe Ashe is from is kind of a hippie type of group (basically how I would imagine elves could be portrayed in Gravity Falls.) The other is actually something that isn't used often in any media, the elves (or at least Ashe's race) are hollow inside. Like, there is nothing in their bodies. No bones, no organs, no soul. Nothing. ...I'm sure that not a lot of angst will come about this for Ashe...

Professor Esther Ratselgast

She's mentioned in the second chapter of Back in the Falls. She was Ford's Quantum Physics teacher back in college. Somehow still alive despite her advanced age. She's also dressed in clothes that seem out of the Victorian era. She is currently working for a man named Adair Samler. Speaking of...

Adair Samler, the last OC I'm willing to share right now (this has gone on long enough as it is)

He appears to be a middle-aged man with silvery hair and small glasses. He's the current director of the Oregon branch of the ALMA Foundation (GF equivalent of the SCP Foundation. I will say that some of his inspiration is that of Ozpin from RWBY, by being a little bit mysterious.

----------------------------------

And there we have it! Similar with the Expy characters, I'm gonna use these OCs outside of Cipher's Will if they are needed in that story.

[taldigi]

why dont you like futaba/gen?

A lot of the persona 5 characters, while colorful and anime-archetype-y- do have a grounded-ness to them- they all have very real issues and very real skillsets... and While characters like Yuuske and Makoto (even Ren, depending on how you play him) could be considered prodigies and/or excel in their fields, Futaba stands out and further forward in terms of that. An infinately brilliant hacker that can basically pull miracles out of their computer? Just as brilliant as Makoto in terms of reasoning and problemsolving? She's mean and "Sassy" which really steps on Mona and Ryuji's area and is later pulled as empathetic like Ann.

I'm only a few steps into Palace 5 and already she annoys me from a character implementation standpoint. Instead of her worrying, it should be Ann. Instead of her figuring out what happened, it should have been Makoto or Yuuske.

Her persona is wild in the sense that it feels really... reductive comparative to the others. the "Wow! a persona as a vehicle!" factor from Makoto is absolutely trashed and outshone by Futaba's giant UFO persona. IDK it feels wrong.

Even her character design doesn't match the others. All of them have a.. tangibility. They all look like stylish thieves- even Ann, who does vary... is based off Catwoman! Yet Futaba doesn't mach any of them! Giant goggles, giant shoes. OK astro boy.

She doesn't fit in that brand of "Silly" that P5 has cultivated for me so far. In a game where there is a bobbleheaded cat that fights demons in clown castles, She feels like a cartoon character. Hell, I'd even say that she feels less like a character and more like a... tool. a plot device.

Persona also suffers from severe anime brainrot- and thats bad when she's so little sister coded, which would be fine if you squint... if she wasn't also a romancible character with unavoidable scenes. I KNOW she's the same age/ish as the others but she's also insanely immature, framed as childish, and is literally described as frail. She needs vitamin D and iron supplements stat.

...and for the most part I have been able to grit my teeth through that anime brainrot because it's been offering a really great story with really amazing characters. When Ren looses some of his personality to "Stoic Anime Protag brainrot" or they do something fuckin' weird with the girls as eyecandy. It's fine, it's whatever. But Futaba... she's.. something else. UGH wish I could put it in WORDS.

She's becoming more tolerable the further in I go to the next palace' storyline, but thats because she's not as relevant anymore to make way for the new girl (who I havent met yet but I like her a lot already) so I know it's not.. my ML-induced phobia of character bloat.

...and please don't try and explain her actions cause of her backstory, im talking from a character design and implementation angle. I think.. I think I'd like her more if she was an exterior member of the thieves, an actual child, and slightly less prodigy-ish.

tl:dr: she feels like a fanfiction character and is weirdly out of place.

She was also mean to Yuuske and Morgana for no fucking reason when she should have been mean to Ryuji instead. I want to push her down the stairs. I also want her to stop touching Ren please. I know ppl think it's okay or funny if it's a guy but it's not.

[chibi-pix]

Image an AU where:

Context: Shiro, Matt, Keith and Pidge are all family friends and the story line stays loosely Cannon till they meet the blade for the group attack. Also Regris lives because he’s amazing.

Something went wrong with the plan and they was an radioactive explosion! Pidge, Matt are next to Ulaz in the explosion and through radiation and magic they become related to Ulaz and become Galra. Same thing happened to Keith and Shiro making of them related.

Now Ulaz has two kids and Matt, Pidge and Shiro are now Galra. How will they cope?

Oooh, this is intriguing.

First off? Pidge is the one who won't shut up. She's having an anxiety attack at the change at first, not knowing how to handle it. So, she's talking non-stop, both panicking about what happened but also finding the perks because now she can access Galra tech more freely but she's also panicking because now she's Galra and how the hell will her parents react.

Matt probably wants to panic, but he's a big brother. It's in him to want to try and keep it together for his sister, so he's trying to console her and get her to come to terms with things. Comforting Pidge helps comfort him, too, because it's helping him to see things from a better perspective.

Shiro is the most calm, but he's probably also internally screaming. However, he's also probably going "Well, this isn't the worst thing to happen to me." while checking himself out (on the assumption that they're now not just part Galra, but also looking the part).

Keith panics at first. The others are hurt? There's radiation?! He's in a panic. Until he finds they're okay. Crisis averted. Even if they're all now Galra. And. Sure, Keith enjoys his found family. But ending up with a genetic link to Shiro? He tries to crack a joke to make Shiro smile by saying "Guess we really are brothers now." This does make Shiro smile and calm down more.

Back with Pidge and Matt, they're still coping. Ulaz, being the best Galra papa he can be, does what he can to help them out. He works with the two to help them come to terms with any newfound senses they'd awaken to and soothe any pain and discomfort they could be going through. Ulaz is probably concerned by what happened, but a part of him is also probably happy to some degree? He has family now. What if he didn't have a family before? He lost them? Dunno. But now he has two changed Galra that are practically his kids? This brings some sort of happiness to him.

It's probably Regris (yes, definitely alive, I refuse to let him die) who comes up with the genius idea of Pidge joining the Blade of Marmora. "She's got good skills as a hacker and can fight foes bigger than her." The others, Shiro, Matt, especially Ulaz, and any other Blades who hear this all shout "NO!" loudly. Pidge may now be Galra, but no one wants her hurt. Keith actually agrees with Regris because he knows what Pidge is capable of.

Bonus note: When Sam and Colleen finally learn of this situation, Sam's panicking at first because what if things were worse than they turned out. Colleen probably just stares for a moment before going "Well, at least you're not dead." She plays it cool, but deep inside, she was worried. She now has even more excuses to drag Ulaz into the family and invite him over to the house.

I hope this is kinda what you had in mind (notes, not a ficlet or art). This was definitely an intriguing thought to go over and work with. And definitely not the first time I've had thoughts of Pidge becoming a Galra some way or another and Ulaz taking on the parental role for her.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this one. Thanks for the ask!

[millenial-net-utopia-2010]

Promised Neverland

Other name: Tech-zine future (inspired by July '97 edition of WIRED [picture] [link to read])

Main interest - Retro-Futurism, Cyberpradism; Anemoia (longing for (future that never was) what you didnt experience personally)

Related/Similar to the genres/aesthetics of Vaporwave, Y2K, Cyberpunk and those sorts -

Wonderland, Cyberparadism, Global Village Coffeehouse and Hauntology - among others -

mildly/loosely speaking, Sweet_nostalgia and Childhood_webcore

This aesthetics talks about idea of "what could have been", "what we lost", even incorporating in talks those terms of "look what they took away from you".

Speaking of general "vibe", we are in-between on terms of: Dark Academia, sometimes Bastardcore - Mallgoth. Also might vary between Utopian scholastic, and/or cassette futurism (and others).

...Much of the aesthetic is characterized by nostalgia for an idealized past, often seen as "more wholesome" than modern American culture and style... - From Americana article

Talking of Hauntology - PNL can make us look over for "what went wrong/what could be//get better", this is, speaking figuratively. Human imagination, in these forms, presents to us, "what could have been's" - world envisioned: in 10, 50, 100, 500 years. Many projects and arts envisioned our "future"s, now long-gone (1800s, 1900s, 1950s-1980s ~ y2k).

Idealised future (now past) can consist of: Topics: pro-freedom hackers (free info, knowledge, source-code), cyberpunk ("its all just 0s and 1s, man... what is so special, what need protection, man; chill..."), "long bloom", "promised 80s neverland", (Once upon a time-space - Barrille) futures; human-library-utopic, free world, calm, pre-9/11 dreams (y2k), new ways-opportunities-progress, tech = (as) saviour, "gay space free commie", unity-community-mutual help-understanding, econ. boom, "kids are alright"/no real deal, small media-only, man vs himself/bad habits (spooks?), theories of mind and research (everything is relative > no meaning, or value > nihilism); slow steady steps, new school(s) of thought, "kids = (are) future", "we build this city"/people-first, man-gov collab. ~mutual help/or, liberation (from "spooks")...

[digitalxnode]

Digital fraud growth in India – Threat to digital transformation

India is considered by many as a digital testing center for innovators to hackers. The unprecedented digital inventory w.r.t connected device, digital assets such as social media, and digital content consumption is attracting many to offer products and services.

India is second to China in terms of mobile internet users, mobile users, application users, and application downloads with loosely coupled regulatory & policy enforcement offering golden opportunities to fraudsters. Digital Fraud is increasing day by day in India.

To read full blog, Click Here

[mysmorgasbordoffantabulosa]

Hey , this is my first asking you something after following you for a while , my question that is kind of bothering me is like I know taekook is real and they have my support and all but this taennie thing like where did this even come from ? How come the pictures that came out no one could be the originals for ? The clothes and the accessories in the pictures were worn by both of them after the pictures got leaked , it’s really strange to me like on one hand certain things confused me but also on the other hand how come dispatch ever caught them , not a single soul in Korea saw them but only gurumi had all information, even the car pic taken in jeju like they could have easily hid with tinted windows or even by wearing masks but now come them freely roaming around and no one ever saw them or they never took a video as a couple like I’m sorry I’m ranting but I’m seriously confused, also I still Believe in taekook though but this rumour has really made me wonder why and how , also why didn’t hybe never directly addressed the rumours with taehyung name and denied it

Hi there, firstly apologies for the delay in responding, sometimes I put things in my drafts forget they're there, anyway back to your asks...

Firstly, ranting can be good for the soul, don't worry about it... I'll try to answer your questions as best as I can.

Why didn’t HYBE never directly addressed the rumours with Taehyung name and denied it?

Firstly, BigHit rarely addresses dating rumours, unless they either come directly from a media site or someone semi-credible makes a claim. They denied the JK/Yubi rumour, RM/Married rumour, and have previously denied a rumour attached to Tae (the Joanna/Dating rumour). All of these were gaining traction or started in the press.

Taennie never really got that, it was speculated about in some news outlets but unlike the other rumours where it made out to be true, this didn't in relation to Taennie, just reporting on the various facts and the fan speculation.

Why and how?

Here are several main trains of thought regarding why it happened...

Media-play by YG/HYBE to boost sales and protect/cover Jennie/Tae's imagine

Some hackers/saseang out to blackmail Jennie with Tae as collatarol

Tae/Jaennie Leaking the stuff themselves to out their weirdly short relationship (it supposedly started back in May 2022 according to Gurumi)

I personally think it's media-play with the Hacker/Saseang being used to leak the info/photos.

Where did this (Taennie) even come from? And, how come the pictures that came out no one could be the originals for?

You have to understand that YG/HYBE are connected in terms of business dealings, HYBE owns part of one of YG's subsidiaries and all their artists are on Weverse. So, YG and HYBE work together all the time.

The scenario I think occurred...

YG is about to release a new album for their top girl group with a tour attached to it. (Some in the BP fandom also think it's linked to Jennie's queerness too)

HYBE have a queer artist who might be a marketability issue once they go solo, with a couple of projects coming up.

What do you do? Take a leap out of Hollywood's playbook, create a fake relationship with fake and fake-staged photos, with weirdly anonymous stories that no-one can corroborate and two fandoms with an active ship culture particularly when it comes to shipping members of each group (Blackpink & BTS) together.

How to do it? Use the fandoms themselves to leak and drive the story, that way they don't have to deny it, because it's a simple "shipping" thing.

Both companies are well verse in knowing where to find saseangs and could easily "leaked" stuf to them, so they can post it online. I believe the "relationship" was to originally leak in August to coincide with BP's comeback, album and tour announcement.

The planning for it probably started back in 2021, where boy Tae and Jennie has the odd insta post that very (very) loosely linked to each other. And of course, don't forget the whole follow/unfollow of incident of Jennie by Tae.

But a growing issue of the bullying scandal in Le Sserifem kept getting worst, so in order to dampen it some photos were early with some poorly edit/created photos that made no logical sense, with two equally vague leaks that also made no sense to dates/times/locations of artists. Then the rumours stopped when the White House visit happened, then resurfaced in August when BPs comeback happened, before the companies released statements about 6 weeks later.

How come dispatch ever caught them?

It might be because HYBE have a supposed deal with them, so no story was gonna break.

Or because they like everyone else, they knew it not be true.

[mariacallous]

Every software supply chain attack, in which hackers corrupt a legitimate application to push out their malware to hundreds or potentially thousands of victims, represents a disturbing new outbreak of a cybersecurity scourge. But when that supply chain attack is pulled off by a mysterious group of hackers, abusing a Microsoft trusted software model to make their malware pose as legitimate, it represents a dangerous and potentially new adversary worth watching.

Today, researchers on the Threat Hunter Team at Broadcom-owned security firm Symantec revealed that they'd detected a supply chain attack carried out by a hacker group that they've newly named CarderBee. According to Symantec, the hackers hijacked the software updates of a piece of Chinese-origin security software known as Cobra DocGuard, injecting their own malware to target about 100 computers across Asia, mostly in Hong Kong. Though some clues, like the exploitation of DocGuard and other malicious code they installed on victim machines, loosely link CarderBee with previous Chinese state-sponsored hacking operations, Symantec declined to identify CarderBee as any previously known group, suggesting it may be a new team.

Beyond the usual disturbing breach of trust in legitimate software that occurs in every software supply chain, Symantec says, the hackers also managed to get their malicious code—a backdoor known as Korplug or PlugX and commonly used by Chinese hackers—digitally signed by Microsoft. The signature, which Microsoft typically uses to designate trusted code, made the malware far harder to detect.

“Any time we see a software supply chain attack, it’s somewhat interesting. But in terms of sophistication, this is a cut above the rest,” says Dick O'Brien, a principal intelligence analyst on Symantec's research team. “This one has the hallmarks of an operator who knows what they’re doing.”

Cobra DocGuard, which is ironically marketed as security software for encrypting and protecting files based on a system of users' privileges inside an organization, has around 2,000 users, according to Symantec. So the fact that the hackers chose just 100 or so machines on which to install their malware—capable of everything from running commands to recording keystrokes—suggests that CarderBee may have combed thousands of potential victims to specifically target those users, O’Brien argues. Symantec declined to name the targeted victims or say whether they were largely government or private sector companies.

The Cobra DocGuard application is distributed by EsafeNet, a company owned by the security firm Nsfocus, which was founded in China in 2000 but now describes its headquarters as Milpitas, California. Symantec says it can't explain how CarderBee managed to corrupt the company's application, which in many software supply chain attacks involves hackers breaching a software distributor to corrupt their development process. Nsfocus didn't respond to WIRED's request for comment.

Symantec's discovery isn't actually the first time that Cobra DocGuard has been used to distribute malware. Cybersecurity firm ESET found that in September of last year a malicious update to the same application was used to breach a Hong Kong gambling company and plant a variant of the same Korplug code. ESET found that the gambling company also had been breached via the same method in 2021.

ESET pinned that earlier attack on the hacker group known as LuckyMouse, APT27, or Budworm, which is widely believed to be based in China and has for more than a decade targeted government agencies and government-related industries, including aerospace and defense. But despite the Korplug and CobraGuard connections, Symantec says it's too early to link the wider supply chain attack it has uncovered to the group behind the previous incidents.

“You can't rule out the idea that one APT group compromises this software, and then it becomes known that this software is vulnerable to this kind of compromise, and somebody else does it as well,” says Symantec's O'Brien, using the term APT to mean “advanced, persistent threat,” a common industry term for state-sponsored hacker groups. “We don't want to jump to conclusions.” O'Brien notes that another Chinese group, known as APT41 or Barium, has also carried out numerous supply chain attacks—perhaps more than any other team of hackers—and has used Korplug, too.

To add to the attack's stealth, the CarderBee hackers managed to somehow deceive Microsoft into lending extra legitimacy to their malware: They tricked the company into signing the Korplug backdoor with the certificates Microsoft uses in its Windows Hardware Compatibility Publisher program to designate trusted code, making it look far more legit than it is. That program typically requires a developer to register with Microsoft as a business entity and submit their code to Microsoft for approval. But the hackers appear to have obtained a Microsoft signature through either developer accounts they created themselves or obtained from other registered developers. Microsoft didn't respond to WIRED's request for more information on how it ended up signing malware used in the hackers' supply chain attack.

Malware that's signed by Microsoft is a long-running problem. Getting access to a registered developer account represents a hurdle to hackers, says Jake Williams, a former US National Security Agency hacker now on faculty at the Institute for Applied Network Security. But once that account is obtained, Microsoft is known to take a lax approach to vetting registered developers' code. “They typically sign whatever you, as the developer, submit,” Williams says. And those signatures can, in fact, make malware far harder to spot, he adds. “So many folks, when they threat-hunt, they start by exempting things that are signed by Microsoft,” Williams says.

That code-signing trick, combined with a well-executed supply chain attack, suggests a level of sophistication that makes CarderBee uniquely worthy of tracking, says Symantec's O'Brien—even for those outside of its current targeting in Hong Kong or Chinese neighbor countries. Regardless of whether you’re in China’s orbit, says O’Brien, “it’s certainly one to look out for.”

[grrside]

Metaverse Mischief (Male to Snowman TF, Modular cock)

A police officer has to solve a mystery in the toughest crime scene he's ever been in: the metaverse.

Metaverse Mischief

-a grrside story-

CHAPTER 1

Oh god, Jack Stunning... Now THAT was a stud.

How else could he be described? He was just a rookie police officer but you can bet your ass nobody else in the station looked nearly as good on that uniform.

With muscles which looked like they’d burst out of the tight fabric that imprisoned them at any second, this 27-year-old muscle god left the older officers embarrassed of their own pudgy frames.

An internal rumor making its rounds on the police station said that a quick glance at the thick nipples protruding through his shirt was enough to make any woman have an intense orgasm on the spot, which is why Jack preferred to maintain a low profile while off-duty by ordering his groceries online. Supposedly, making women of all types lubricate their panties at the supermarket was fun at first but after a few weeks the endless moaning became quite repetitive and unpleasant.

That may or may not have been an exaggeration but there was no doubt about this man being goddamn sexy. And handsomely strong to boot. You just had to look at his masculine face. His precisely short haircut contrasted with the little rebellious stubble on his square jaw and his abundant forest of dark chest hair. His deep piercing gray eyes made him look rough. Any criminal would piss their pants if they saw his thick eyebrows get angry. Damn, Jack Stunning meant really serious business, baby!

In fact, local criminality rates had hit an all-time low since Jack Stunning started kicking ass. And it sure was noticeable in the police station.

“Isn’t it kind of boring lately?” Said Carl, one of the most veteran and therefore pudgier officers. “I mean, Jack’s a great cop and all, but since he single-handedly takes care of all the thugs in the city we are stuck here doing paperwork. We don’t even issue speeding tickets lately... It’s like we are living in the most peaceful city in the entire world!”

The rest of the officers silently agreed with Carl as they ate their donuts.

Just then a computer programmer (he wore glasses and carried a laptop below his arm so it was quite obvious what his day job was) came running into the police station. His face was full of tears, like he had been crying in despair for hours.

“Woah! What happened to you?” Asked Carl, surprised that a citizen actually needed their help.

“They... killed...” Said the computer programmer between tears.

“Holy shit! There’s a murderer loose in the city?!”

The scrawny programmer took a deep breath and finally said the rest. “They killed my penguin!”

“Oh, animal cruelty! That’s still quite horrendous!”

The programmer shook his head. “They killed my pet penguin in Frosted Lands(tm), the premier winter-themed world in the metaverse! It cost me a buttload of money in microtransactions!”

“...Oh.” Carl’s face filled with disappointment. “Sorry kiddo, we don’t avenge video game character’s deaths.”

“You don’t understand! Killing someone else goes against the Terms of Service of this massively multiplayer online world rated E for all ages! Bending the rules like this... This can only be the work of a hacker!”

“But seriously kid, we don’t solve virtual crimes...” Carl said.

“It IS our duty to protect and serve every citizen of our fine city...” Said a deep and masculine voice. “...That includes our citizen’s virtual avatars.”

Carl’s jaw dropped. “Jack?! You’ve gotta be kidding me, you already are the perfect cop in real life, there’s no need for you to be the perfect video game character!”

“Me, perfect?” Jack laughed. “I’m just doing my work.” He smiled and his teeth shone so brightly that Carl got blinded for a second.

“Oh thank you, mister!” Said the computer nerd. “You’ve gotta catch that bastard! Who knows who’ll be next!”

Actually, Jack Stunning didn’t know much about today’s online gameverses and meta-whatevers. Technology had seemed to evolve so quickly over the last few years he lost track of all the technological advancements.

According to the nerd, the days of heavy Virtual Reality headsets were about to be over. With Virtualizer cameras, you could venture into the metaverse, for real! They were still in heavy development but the most rich enthusiasts had already gotten themselves one. They looked like very expensive webcams that scanned your body image and created a 3D model that acted like a digital twin on the screen. Jack understood that part, but no matter how thoroughly the computer nerd explained, Jack couldn’t comprehend for the heck of it how a simple camera was capable of transferring his entire conscience into a computer file.

Eventually the nerd gave up on trying to explain. “Let’s just say that the Virtualizer lets you go inside the computer, even though that explanation is extremely inaccurate...”

“I’m not sure about this, Jack...” Whispered Carl. “While you explore that virtual world thingy you won’t be here to protect the real world...”

“There’s no need to worry.” Replied Jack. “I know the city will be safe with all of you.” He pointed at the group of fat cops sleeping on the job.

“But still...”

“I am ready.” Jack announced. He was standing at attention in front of the laptop with his black police uniform covering his muscles.

“Ok, here we go...” The nerd turned on the Virtualizer and pointed it at Jack. The machine looked futuristic and expensive as hell.

“Now that I think about it...” Pondered Jack. “Does the camera virtualize my clothes as well? Because-”

*FLASH!*

There was a bright light and just where Jack had been standing there was a police uniform levitating up in the air. For a few seconds it looked like there was an invisible cop in the room, but the clothes fell into a pile soon after. There was a clinking sound as the handcuffs and the walkie-talkie Jack had been carrying fell to the floor at the same time.

“Holy shit! Jack’s inside the computer!” Carl pointed to the tiny pink smudge that was now Jack on the screen.

“Okay, so all that’s left to do is to upload him into the server.” Said the nerd. “As I said, the brutal killing took place in Frosted Lands(tm), a winter-themed virtual world in the metaverse with fun minigames and where no sexual content or violence is allowed...” The nerd glanced at the tiny confused naked stud on his computer screen, more specifically at his humongous cock. “...We’ll need to edit Jack’s body a little bit before uploading him there, genitals aren’t allowed after all. The default avatar is a guy wearing ski gear, but there are plenty others.”

“What do you think?” Asked the nerd to Carl. “Should we make him similar to how he looks right now? Or should we keep him incognito? Once he’s uploaded to the server it’ll be harder to edit his appearance without spending real money on microtransactions, so I suggest you choose wisely.”

Carl nodded absent-mindedly. Then he opened his mouth in shock. “Wait, you’re asking ME?” The pudgy officer realized he was in control of the fate of the little naked man running around on the screen. He felt powerful but also very, very afraid of screwing everything up.

The fat officer’s unimpressive boner was leaking in his loins. Holy shit, Jack Stunning was there on the screen, completely buttnaked. His hands were covering his crotch and this only served to make his hairy pectorals stand out even more because his 9-inch cock was impossible to conceal.

It was the first time Carl had seen Jack Stunning this vulnerable. The tiny little man stood in the center of the screen. He seemed to be protesting but he barely could be heard. His cries sounded like those of a squeaky little mouse.

“Is the size reduction a side-effect of the Virtualizer?” Asked Carl to the nerd operating the laptop.

The scrawny guy started talking with his mouth full of chewing gum. This nerd was gross. “Uh? Nah, he’s not small. The camera’s just too far away.” The nerd rolled up the mouse wheel and suddenly a crystal clear rendition of Jack Stunning’s hairy chest filled the screen. It was impressive how every single body hair had been perfectly recreated. “But it kinda grosses me out to zoom in so much on a *guy*.”

“Oh, of course...! It’d gross me out as well to see a muscular man like him all up and personal!” Carl lied. “...Although we should spin the camera 180 degrees around. You know, to make sure he’s being faithfully rendered...”

The nerd pressed down on the mouse wheel and moved the peripheral to rotate the camera. “Yes, he’s been virtualized with 100% fidelity. By the way, he missed a spot when he wiped his butt this morning. You can see some tiny specks of shit right between these two butthairs, right below the anus. Want me to zoom in between the buttcheeks too, uh? Of course I can. Seriously, you old geezers and your fear of technology...”

Jack Stunning turned around in surprise inside the empty virtual world. He was covering his penis with one hand and his butt with the other, embarrassed at the fact that the nerd and Carl were able to see him in 360º with every single intimate detail faithfully recreated.

“So, have you decided yet? What do we turn him into?”

Carl thought for a good while. Maybe a penguin? They were cute but Jack as an online enforcer needed to look more authoritative.

“Mmm... I know!” Announced Carl. “Let’s turn him into a snowman. It’d fit the theme. But make sure he looks as *stunning* as he looks right now... You know... Like a badass police officer.”

“I think I know what you mean...Let’s give it a try. Hopefully my modeling skills didn’t get rusty.” The nerd pressed the “Edit Mesh” button and Jack was forced to adopt a T-Pose with his arms. He blushed when he looked down at his dangling cock but he couldn’t move anything other than his eyes while he was being edited, as if invisible chains were restraining him in place.

Jack tried to protest when an oversized mouse cursor appeared and started hovering all over his body as it pondered what part of the naked man to sculpt first, but his screams were muffled. He realized there was an output sound volume button on the nerd’s desktop and it was currently set at the bare minimum.

“First off, this has to go.” Said the nerd as the cursor pointed at the 9-inch piece of meat. The nerd right-clicked it, then the giant cursor tentatively hovered over various woeful-sounding options like “Resize”, “Delete”, “Flatten” until it nonchalantly decided to press “Cut”.

The moment the cursor clicked it, Jack’s cock was gone.

“Mmmppphhh!” or “You bastard, you cut off my cock!”, which was what Jack wanted to scream.

Then the cursor created a new yellow folder out of thin air, named it “Unnecessary” and pasted Jack’s cock inside it.

“Why’s he so mad? His cock will be just fine in my folder. My Solid Storage Drive still has one year of warranty left.” The nerd commented as he saw Jack Stunning’s thick eyebrows move into a no-bullshit frown.

“Maybe he feels uncomfortable with another person keeping his cock away while he’s undercover...” Carl said. He’d surely be freaked out as heck in Jack’s situation. “I’m sure he’d rather keep it close.”

“Oh...” The nerd chewed in thought. “Ah, I know!”

The nerd opened the folder and right-clicked Jack’s penis, then selected “Edit”. First he changed the cock’s color to orange and applied a carrot-like texture. Then he squished his balls and the tip of the shaft so it’d look more like a carrot.

“MMMMMF!” Cried Jack, feeling all the changes applied to his cock in real time.

The expressionless cursor then attached Jack’s cock...er...carrot to his nose. Jack could feel his cock and nose fusing as one body part that shared each other’s functions.

The cursor applied a snow texture to Jack’s body, overriding all of his body hair in the process. He now looked like a very muscular sculpture made of pure white snow.

Jack winced with pain. His nipples had been turned into little perky rocks which were masquerading as snowman's buttons. The virtual pointer next turned Jack’s eyeballs into expressionless, solid black marbles and his lips into smaller pebbles which were positioned in a cocky grin. His facial expression now possessed the same anatomical complexity as a stick figure's.

The cursor applied a wooden texture to Jack’s muscular arms. A regular snowman would have feeble sticks, but this snowhunk had strong muscle tree trunks instead. They weren't firmly affixed to his now larger muscular torso however, these wooden limbs looked like they could fall apart from his body at any second. They were sticks lazily put on a snow body after all, it's not like they were glued.

The next thing to model was his clothing. Well, just a sheriff’s hat and a police tool belt carrying handcuffs and a badge were the only garments the nerd actually bothered to model.

“Just a few final touches...” Said the nerd as the cursor applied a reflective shader all over Jack’s muscles slowly and with care. This is what a statue must feel when it’s polished, thought Jack. It felt kinda nice.

The white six pack on his torso now had a faint rough surface as if it was made of actual snow. Jack’s body was white and shaved completely clean. This, unfortunately, included his oversized glutes, his buttocks now looking like two pristine white bowling balls.

When the cursor clicked “Save changes” Jack could move once again. He reached down under his toolbelt, a shiny bulge was all that remained of this snowhunk’s manhood. Jack rubbed his blank groin between his muscular white legs and he didn’t feel anything, but then he pinched his button-nipples and got so aroused he got a runny nose...er...carrot, from the slight touch on his sensitive buttons.

“That should do it... Oh, I didn’t notice Jack was muted.” The nerd increased Jack’s voice volume.

“He seems ready for action.” Said Carl looking at Jack’s expression.

“I’m not, it’s just that my mouth’s default idle position is a grin.” Jack admitted, his 9-inch carrot pointing down all flaccid with fear. “Err... I’m actually having second thoughts about this whole plan...”

“As long as our connection to Frosted Lands’ servers is stable there should be no problem.” Said the nerdy guy. “We can retrieve your virtual avatar’s body and restore it to full health with an app I have here on my laptop.”

Jack didn’t like how the nerd had said “virtual avatar’s *body*”, as if he could end up a corpse. It was a game designed for all ages, right? What could go wrong?

“Ok, beam me down into the servers, nerd guy.” Said Jack, keeping his cool. As cool as a snowhunk with no pants could be.

“Will you guys please stop calling me ‘nerd’? My name’s Steven...”

Carl was excited. “I can’t wait to see Jack Stunning in action! Jack him up to Frosted Lands, nerd guy!”

The nerd guy sighed and opened the app portal to Frosted Lands. The snowhunk walked towards it and the moment he touched the portal Jack Stunning’s data left the safety of the nerd guy’s computer and traversed the wild, strange world that is the internet until he arrived at his destination...

...

“...Why has the screen gone black?” Asked Carl.

“We lost our connection to Jack!” Cried out the nerd in a panic. “Damn! That hacker! He must have disabled our firewalls, or...! Oh, wait. It’s just that the movie I was downloading ate up my data cap... Uh... What’s your WiFi password?”

CHAPTER 2

While panic reigned in the real-life police station, Jack’s login process into his new virtual existence had already been completed. The muscle snowman stud clad in just a police officer’s hat and badge was in awe at what he saw. “Wow, so this is what the fuss is all about. This is the metaverse...”

The mighty metaverse looked like an extremely generic winter wonderland except for the fact that every single object you could see carried a price tag. Candy canes stuck on the floor, 5$ each. An igloo hut that served as a home, 5000$. Hot cocoa, 4$. An emote to drink from a cup of hot cocoa, 66$.

“Wowzers, I feel like I could spend my entire life savings in just five minutes if I'm not careful.”

But there was no time to shop around, Jack Stunning had a criminal to catch. He better find some clues or vital witnesses. Jack first asked a man dressed up like Santa, but the conversation went nowhere as he turned out to be just a mindless NPC advertising a new cola drink.

After this embarrassing disappointment, Jack saw lots of characters performing the same robotic dance moves to non-existent music which he could only assume to be... Real players!

One of those real players, one who wore a male default avatar with ski gear, approached Jack. “Hey, are you a newbie?”

Jack’s inexpressive black marbles for eyes blinked. Was this random person talking to him? The cop is the one who should be asking questions!

The muscular snowman whispered to the other side of the screen. “Eh, Carl and nerd guy, a pedestrian is asking me if I’m a ‘newbie’. What does that term mean?” But nobody answered. The connection to the real world was still spotty. Figures. He would have to improvise.

“I’m not a newbie, I’m just new here.” Jack answered with a straight face.

“Cool, bro.” The stranger said and stood there, still and quiet, for a few long and awkward seconds. Jack wondered what expression the guy was making behind the ski balaclava. It was very strange talking to a virtual avatar which may or may not be an accurate representation of the actual player. Hell, the stranger could either be a fat greasy old guy or a hot chick using a male voice filter.

“My player name is NotAGrifter#34959.” The stranger said and performed a handshaking emote that caused him to handshake the air in front of him in an eerily, uncanny valley way. “I like your avatar, bro."

Jack looked down at his muscular bare torso made out of cold, pristine white snow. “Oh, thanks. By the way, have you seen anyone acting suspicious around here-”

The stranger took a step forward and pointed at his chiseled six pack. “So much attention to detail. Especially the muscles. Is it custom-made?”

“You could say so. But-”

The stranger took another step forward. “Who made it? Where did you buy it from?”

“Well, I didn’t exactly buy it, because-”

The stranger got extremely uncomfortably close to Jack. “How much would you sell it for? What payment methods do you accept? Would you trade it for this limited edition scarf?”

Jack didn’t know how he could explain to this stranger that the snowman avatar was all he had and that it had been modeled using his own real-world body as a literal material using state-of-the-art Virtualizer technology. “It’s... it’s not for sale...”

“Ok. What about the accessories? The handcuffs? The police badge? How much for the buttons?” The random stranger reached for Jack's hard pecs and squeezed the button that used to be Jack’s left nipple. Jack couldn’t help yelping in a shriek of unexpected pleasure. It may have looked like a round pebble masquerading as a button but to the snowman it felt like an extremely sensitive part of his own body. Jack's nipples had always acted like remote controls for his arousement level, and they were literally hard as a rock right now. The hunky snowman’s cock twitched and hardened in such an abrupt and exaggerated way it was cartoon-grade comical.

“Oh my *beep*ing god!” The stranger was so excited that he had triggered Frosted Lands(tm)’s patented censor beep. “The carrot has animations included?! How much do you want for that carrot?”

Jack blushed. He had almost forgotten his cock was now a carrot ‘nose’ visible to everyone. He instinctively tried to use his wooden muscular arms to hide his orange nine-incher from view, but his short wooden twigs did a very poor job at covering up the gargantuan erection that hung on his face.

NotAGrifter *NEEDED* that carrot. Wearables with animations were worth much more than regular accessories. He was sure it would fetch a lot in the black market of limited edition items were Jack to be unfortunate or gullible enough to lose it. He wondered if it included any other emotes...

Jack shrieked when the stranger suddenly and with no warning flicked the tip of his erect nose. The phallic carrot swayed up and down and hardened even more. Jack's poorly-made caricature of a human face blushed. “Please, don’t!”

“It even has mucus fluid simulation, so much attention to detail!” NotAGrifter said, completely unaware he had just touched Jack’s penis and that the dripping mucus was actually his precum. He reached for all nine inches of it and squeezed hard.

A giant user interface window appeared in front of Jack's eyes. “NotAGrifter#34959 has sent you a trade request for your currently-worn item, ‘Snowman’s Carrot (Nine inches-long)’, accept or decline?”

The big sign obscured the muscular snowman's line of sight. "Woah! How do I get rid of this thing?!" Jack panicked as he struggled to press the floating 'Decline' button blindly with those fragile and unnecessarily-complex-to-articulate twigs of his.

"Trade request accepted. You gave the following item(s) away: 'Snowman's Carrot (Nine inches-long)'. You received the following item(s) in return: 'Nothing'." The floating user interface window cemented the deal.

Jack was dismayed. "NO! That's not what I wanted to do!"

The system message vanished as fast as it had appeared. NotAGrifter grinned with satisfaction under his balaclava when Jack's cock ultimately detached from the snowman's face with a comical 'plop' sound effect.

"You bast*beep*ard! Give it back!" Jack tried to grab his former cock and balls but his upper limbs made up of tree branches passed through the obscenely large vegetable as if they were intangible. "What the?!"

"NotAGrifter#34959 is not accepting trade requests at this time." A small warning informed the snowman.

The metaverse didn't follow the same rules as real life. Players couldn't just take another player's items by force, no matter their difference in physical strength. It was meant to give players a sense of ownership over their virtual belongings as they wore the latest fashion cosmetics they bought with real currency, furnished their virtual homes with all the expensive furniture they had gathered in their adventures, or even speculate with them in the marketplace which functioned just like an auction house. Unwanted property that didn't fetch a good price could also be permanently deleted from existence so it wouldn't waste valuable inventory space on the server.

And Jack's genitals were now legitimately NotAGrifter's property, which meant that the shady player could do with them any of the above as he pleased.

"Impressive, bro. The texture work is incredibly detailed." NotAGrifter traced a finger on its surface. "It's slightly redder on the tip and there are veiny-like things along the shaft that give it a healthy and mature look. It's a damn fine vegetable, bro. I have seen a lot of snowmen's carrots but none as long and thick as yours, bro."

"That is... Uh... Nice of you to say, I suppose..." Jack blushed. "...But yeah, you've had your fun examining it, how about giving it back?"

The masked man was engrossed by Jack's thingy. "Oh, wow, it has a lot of animations, bro. When I squeeze it right below the tip it grows thicker! But how do I make it release all the sticky goo it has stored inside? It looks like it really needs to burst, bro!" The guy shook the huge thing around, squeezed it and tickled it.

All of this would be much easier on the undercover policeman if he didn't feel every single touch and prod on his cock with the same intensity as if it was still physically connected to him.

The poor carrot was so desperate for release that it twitched on the ski man's hands. It was a very sensitive, long and hard organ and all the constant teasing was making it go through a living hell.

"I want to see it blow a huge load!" The ski man said as he lashed all nine inches of it as if it were a whip. "C'mon! How do I make it sneeze?"

It was too difficult for Jack to keep his cool while being this turned on. "Please, ahhh, can you give me my carrot back already, ohhhh..." He began thrusting his muscular snow-white hips forward as his arousement was too much. But no matter how much the big policeman hilariously humped the ground and scratched away at his blank crotch, his erect genitals were still at NotAGrifter's mercy. Release was so close, yet so far!

"This carrot is so rare..." NotAGrifter was in love with the valuable item and seeing how desperate Jack was to recover it, the shady character knew exactly what he had to do.

...

"Thanks for showing me your carrot, bro. I'll work hard to earn one that looks as impressive someday. You can have it back." The ski man said against all odds.

"Phew, I thought for sure you were a grifter scheming to scam me." Jack said. "So gimme, gimme! And with haste, please!" Jack extended his arms, eagerly awaiting the orange dildo of a carrot.

"What? No, bro. I'm not a grifter. That's the reason I chose this username. See? I'm not a grifter, therefore NotAGrifter fits me like a glove, bro."

"Ok, ok, just give me my co- I mean, my carrot back!" Just a few seconds more and he would jizz all over the ski man's hands.

"Sure thing bro. Woah, bro, your face is so red right now. You got a fever? I don't think it's a good idea for a snowman to be so hot." The ski man adjusted his ski glasses with concern.

"We can discuss that *after* you give me my thingy back!" Jack danced with desperation. He was so close. The slightest tease could make him cum now...

"But snowmen melt if they get too hot, bro." NotAGrifter said as he casually squeezed Jack's hard dick.

"Man, I can tell you're strong and fit with your thick pristine white muscles telling everyone who's boss the moment you enter the room but behind that whole cold blooded facade what you really crave is the ice cold touch of a fellow male snowman that puts you in your place." He waved the hard cock around as he explained.

"Hot snowmen need to keep their temperatures low by embracing other snowmen. It's in their DNA, that's why you find so many wild snowmen wrestling against each other around here. I have seen them, bro." He squeezed harder and more passionately...

"Those snowmen bear hugging each other, the hot sweat on their muscles evaporating the moment they touch each other. You crave that, don't you? Snowmen who get too hot end up as white goop on the ground." ...And harder and harder...

"Yes, their snow bodies are so hot they melt into their own bodily juices. You don't want that happening, right? To feel so hot that you melt into your own white stuff because of craving too much the touch of hunky men all over you? Because that's what you are, a mindless muscle-craving snowstud...

Oh, you 'sneezed' all over. You ok, bro? You left quite a big mess."

Jack's detached cock had jizzed like a huge fountain. His muscles were losing definition as the snow that gave form to his body melted with pleasure. He needed a quick breather for his overloaded brain to 'unmelt' itself from the orgasm. "Ohhhh, man..."

"Oh right, I had to give this back to ya."

Jack saw another trade window. NotAGrifter had offered his cock back. The snowman didn't feel himself in a hurry to have his genitals back post-nut, but he groggily accepted and the carrot appeared right in front of him, floating and spinning mid-air.

"See ya, bro!"

"Yes... 'Bro'... Phew, that was intense..." The snowman could barely pull himself together. He couldn't believe he had gotten so hot and bothered by some anonymous rando's online nonsense!

Jack felt groggy, as if had drunk a lot of alcohol, his brain cells melting into hot water. Fortunately, it didn't take long for his body to revert to his hunky self of solid muscle.

"Oh, by the way, how do I equip my carrot?" Jack realized it wasn't as simple as just sticking it in. The damn thing didn't want to get attached back to his face. He probably had to use the equipment menu, but Jack was clumsy as heck with computers and user interfaces. He would need help, but NotAGrifter had already bolted off to stalk another new player.

"Well, let's try this. It can't possibly be too hard, could it?"

CHAPTER 3

Meanwhile in the real world, Carl was very scared. "What if the hacker has attacked Jack?" Carl pondered out loud. "Damn it! We should never have sent our best man on such a dangerous mission!"

"This should do the trick." Said the nerdy computer programmer as he restored the police station's connection to the virtual world and Carl practically jumped with joy, as he couldn't live a second more without seeing his hero.

However the screen greeted them with a very grotesque image instead.

The nerd was visibly disappointed. "What the fuck, Jack? We go away for less than ten minutes and you're already messing up the avatar I so meticulously designed?"

"Oh... Er... Hi guys..." Jack was very embarrassed. "Look, I can explain... I messed up dealing with the equipment menu and well..." He said with his mouth full.

The equipment menu had looked simple enough. But Jack still thought of his carrot nose as his cock so instead of equipping it into his face he mistakenly attached it to his groin. He tried correcting his mistake by selecting his face and his crotch and then pressing the "attach" button. The very next thing he knew his meaty snowhunk lips were sucking his own monstrous cock, still full of sticky goop after his recent nut.

"Dude! You're fucking self-sucking yourself in public! You look too obscene! What if the censor bots see you?!" The nerd furiously said.

"Sorry..." Jack apologized, his torso still stuck bended at 180 degrees, his anus wide open for everyone to see.

"Censor bots? What are those?" Carl asked the nerd, the fat man unable to shift his eyes away from the naughty snow hunk performing autofellatio.

"They're artificial intelligences that moderate the metaverse. If they catch you violating the Terms of Service they can ban you from the game forever... Or even worse still, reset your battle pass progress in order to make you play more."

"Woah, they're monsters! That's too cruel."

The nerd opened the equipment menu and in a flash unglued Jack's face from his crotch and restored his cock carrot back to a innocent-looking nose. But it was all in vain, because a big robot with a shiny black metal surface and a forbidden sign for a face had already made its act of appearance in front of Jack.

"YOU VIOLATED THE TERMS OF SERVICE. THEREFORE YOU ARE PERMANENTLY BANNED FROM ALL SERVERS AND YOUR CUSTOM ASSETS WILL BE CONFISCATED BY OUR GLORIOUS COMPANY." The robot said in a deep monotone voice.

"That doesn't sound good..." Jack said.

Carl was in full panic mode but the nerd was even more worried. "Custom assets? But Jack, *you* are those custom assets... Uh, oh..."

"Does that mean they're confiscating Jack?!" Carl yelped.

"Yeah, Jack will be turned into a file that belongs to the metaverse's president. Then most probably they'll churn out infinite copies of him that will be handed out as a battle pass reward next season. If they turn him into a pet he'll retain some degree of autonomy but if they turn him into a skin he'll just be an empty husk of himself for people to wear."

"What?! I don't want to be a prize for people to claim!" Jack protested.

"They can't do that to him! He's a human being, not some asset that can be copied and passed around!" Carl was pissed.

"Of course they can do that. It's all written down in the Terms of Service nobody reads but we all agree when we play." The computer programmer said.

Carl was sweating like a pig. "What can we do then?"

The arm of the robot turned into a big cannon, locked and loaded, pointing at Jack. "PREPARING TO TAKE OVER THE OWNERSHIP OF THE NAUGHTY ASSET..."

Jack prepared for the worst. He kept the inexpressive black marbles he had for eyes closed. "So this is my end. My consciousness will be erased and then the rich CEO who owns the metaverse company will profit out of my own corpse of a body forever and ever... I hope I become an uncommon battle pass reward, at least..."

An explosion erupted...

And then Jack opened his eyes. The censor bot had been demolished, only a pair of smoking robot legs remaining. "What? But how, who...?!"

There was a person. An individual enveloped in blue, standing like a sentient blue flame of bright burning fire. He was holding the censor bot's head in his hands. The celestial figure crushed the barely functioning thing with his bare hands like it was made of paper.

Jack was speechless. Whoever this thing was, it was his savior. "T-thank you...!"

The blue man turned around. He was completely devoid of hair and clothing. His body consisted of blue flames that shone brightly in the darkest of places. "I simply did what I must." His voice sounded distorted, like he was using some sort of filter or voice modulator. Talking about distortion, there was what looked like an aura of garbled graphic artifacts surrounding him.

"Jack, be careful! That graphical distortion and that overpowered strength... He must have modified his own code!" The nerd said on the other end. "That must mean he's..."

"That's right, you could say I'm a hacker." The figure said.

"Yikes! He can hear us!" Carl said with surprise and fear.

"But he doesn't strike me as a bad guy." Jack said. "He just saved me from becoming a simple game asset."

"That may be true, but..." The nerd said. "My pet penguin was killed by a hacker! What if this guy is the killer?!"

"I'd never use my hacking prowess to harm other players. I wouldn't want my living space to be filled with violence. However, I may know who killed your pet."

"Uh?!" The nerd pressed his face into the screen.

"The company who claims to own the metaverse is running a disprestige campaign against hackers. I wouldn't be surprised if they are blaming us for the bugs on their own software." The hacker put his hands on his sides, seemingly disgusted. "Not only are they shifting the blame to us, but it makes people more accepting of their censor bots blasting people around. It's a double win for them."

"So you're telling me... My pet penguin died because of them..." The nerd's face filled with tears. "Dammit! I was so invested in the metaverse, but in the end it was all just a lot of money thrown down the drain!"

Jack was thinking hard about the whole thing. They had solved the mystery of the killer of the nerd's virtual pet. But the killer was a much bigger enemy than he initially thought. It wasn't some random person, it was the richest company on Earth.

"That's it, I'm quitting the metaverse forever. It was all a big bunch of lies from the start." The nerd sobbed.

Carl looked at Jack. "Well, that's another case closed for Jack Stunning. Should we log you off now?"

"I'm going to stay a little bit longer... There's something that bothers me. Nerd?"

"Yeah, the nerd is annoying as hell for me, too." Carl retorted.

"That isn't what I meant." Jack tried to look directly at where he thought the nerd was. "I just wanted to say that I don't think the metaverse is all bad.

I've found weird people for sure, and the terms of service are dubious at best, but I've also found people that look like complete grifters at first yet don't turn out to be grifters but great roleplayers instead and I've also meet people with differing views to mine that are willing to help complete strangers, like this hacker.

What I mean to say is that maybe, just maybe, if we let the metaverse grow with the help of what matters most, that is, the people, it could turn out not to be a total load of bull*beep*shit."

"And that's the true meaning of the metaverse!" Carl added.

The nerd stopped sobbing. "...So what you're trying to say is that there's hope for this place?"

The snowman stuck his white chest out with pride and confidence and made a thumbs up with his tree branches. "That's right!"

"Of course there is." The hacker joined in. "I love the metaverse. As I mentioned, it's where I live." The hacker was being literal. He explained he had wasted all of his life savings to buy a Virtualizer and now lived as a permanent resident of the metaverse, his old real life self be damned. "And now, reborn as FlameBlue, I'll fight to the bitter end for a free and open metaverse... Or at the very least one that allows nudism."

"What a noble cause." Jack admitted. "If you ever need any help in your fight let me know, Flame. I have to return the favor after all!" He smiled warmly and shook the hacker's hand. He casually noticed that the nudist man's flames tickled but didn't hurt.

And that's how Jack Stunning's first case in the metaverse ended. However, Jack's fight for justice in this new world had just begun. It would be a long and hazardous journey, that was for sure, but the star policeman felt pumped and ready for action.

"By the way, Flame." The snowman eventually asked FlameBlue. "If you're a nudist, why didn't you choose a bigger willy for your avatar? Looks very embarrassing to be flopping that tiny thing around!"

"Err... It's based on my offline penis..." The nudist hacker responded, his blue face tinting red with shame. "I didn't modify it one bit..."

"Oh."

[nexinformationtechnology]

What Are The Key Features Of Effective Data Governance Solution?

The process of regulating the accessibility, usability, integrity, and security of data in corporate systems, on the basis of internal data standards and regulations that also regulate data consumption, is known as data governance, or DG. Consistency, reliability, and non-misuse of data are ensured by effective Data Governance solution in UAE. As businesses deal with new data privacy laws and depend more and more on data analytics to streamline operations and inform business decisions, it’s becoming more and more important.

Any organization can benefit greatly from data, but if it is not managed properly, it can also become a time and resource waster. Inadequate data gathering and storage practices not only lead to uncontrollable data swamps but also increase the possibility of significant data breaches for businesses. 

Enhancing an organization’s procedures for gathering, preserving, and protecting its data is the goal of data governance. A business can better manage risk and reap the benefits of its data function by using a best Data Governance Services plan as a road map. 

Here, We’ll Examine In More Detail The Essential Components Of A Successful Data Governance Strategy.

Well-defined Objectives

The fact that different services just gather and store data without knowing what constitutes “right” data is one of the main problems with data management. Data analysts will not be able to swiftly extract actionable insights from the resulting impenetrable data swamps. Consequently, the first step in any successful data governance plan should be to clearly define the organization’s data goals. 

Every facet of data management and security across the company will be covered by this data governance framework. From there, it can be determined what data should be gathered initially as well as how it should be gathered and preserved. 

Providing Data Integration

Before analysis and the creation of business insights, data must be unified and interoperable in format. Sadly, separated data collection using various methods for collecting, storage, and analysis is a feature of the majority of data activities. Delivering data integration and interoperability across all organizational functions must be the main goal of a data governance plan in order to get over these obstacles. Advanced data virtualization technologies can quickly integrate and unify datasets, but applying data integration principles to every aspect of the business and old data may make this a laborious process.

Updated Techniques

There are several approaches to gathering, storing, and analyzing data; some offer greater benefits than others. Nonetheless, ensuring uniformity throughout all data processes within the company is among the most crucial components of a data governance plan. If methods are not consistent, data will be gathered and stored in disparate formats across disparate storage places with differing speeds and access capacities. This poses significant challenges for data analysis. When metadata or other identifying information doesn’t pass through the process gap, it slows down the rate of insight and frequently renders the data useless.

An organization should develop a long-term integration plan to harmonize any legacy data collection methods that may already be in place.

Specific Rights And Obligations

Any data governance plan must include information about who may access data, what they can do with it, and how to modify access and responsibility levels. An entire system may be accessible to hackers with just one point of entry if there is no clear access policy in place, as was the case with the Colonial Pipeline attack. This leads to loose ends. An attacker might have caused tens of millions of dollars’ worth of damages and mayhem to the infrastructure with just one password that was taken in that hack.

Needs To Improve ROI

Delivering insight that can increase revenue or decrease expenses is the primary reason firms have data functions. Ensuring that this is truly occurring should be the primary goal of any effective data governance plan. When applied correctly, technical advancements might result in business advantages. To get high-quality, real-time insight, it is therefore necessary to continuously enhance the speed of the data pipeline from collection to analysis and back to frontline utilization. Reducing expensive storage and optimizing the resource consumption of data functions are other goals of data governance.

Scalable With Ease

The organization’s present level of data management should be considered in any data governance plan. It ought to establish the framework for the future appearance of the data function as well. Your data governance plan should future-proof the data demands and capabilities of your organization, since it appears that data gathering and utilization are only heading in one direction.

Enhances Risk Administration

As previously indicated, a business that uses data faces serious risks related to regulatory compliance. But data breaches can also result in missed sales and higher client acquisition costs, not to mention a significant negative influence on consumer trust.

By establishing explicit procedures for the access and administration of data throughout its lifecycle, a data governance plan enhances risk management. 

The Final Talk 

Unresolved data inconsistencies among systems within an organization may persist in the absence of efficient data governance. For instance, in systems for sales, shipping, and customer support, customer names could be arranged differently. The accuracy of business intelligence (BI), corporate reporting, and analytics solutions may be impacted by data integration challenges and data integrity problems. The accuracy of BI and analytics may also be impacted by data inaccuracies that are not found and corrected.

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