#HP Z

[hazedwords]

Chaos Club

Y/N: Oh god, she texted you ‘hi.’ Punctuation only means one thing, Lucius. She’s mad at you.

Lucius: No, it's Narcissa. She’s just being gramatically correct!

*meanwhile*

Narcissa: And then I used a period so he would know that I'm mad at him.

Severus: Cissa, a period doesn't say 'I'm mad', it says 'you're dead to me'.

Narcissa: I stand by my choice.

(Genz marauders era)

[hinnypottter]

I can't read half a sentence of this without crackling

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Advice from a Dog

Dean Koontz: hey guys i got a story for you! Poe: oh wow, good job dean! Poe: i'm sure we're all excited to hear a new scary story from you Koontz: oh this one's not scary Poe: Poe: oh? Koontz: it's about dogs

Koontz: actually i didn't write this Koontz: it's by trixie! Poe: your dog? Koontz: [struggling to contain laughter] yes! trixie wrote it! Koontz: [struggling to contain laughter] she wrote it all by herself!

Koontz: it's about advice from a dog Koontz: i think you can learn everything you need to know from a dog Koontz: i think dogs are the wisest people i know!

Koontz: ask trixie what she thinks about cats Poe: Poe: what does trixie think about cats Koontz: trixie says we should treat them with sympathy because its not their fault they're not dogs Poe: Koontz: eh? Poe: Koontz: eh?

Koontz: trixie says we should treat them with sympathy because its not their fault they're not dogs Lovecraft: [sweats] i'm gonna kill you!!! Lovecraft: h-how dare you Lovecraft: how dare you mallign cats like that! King: whoa whoa whoa calm down there howard! King: edgar help me out here Poe: no no howard's right here

Koontz: [crying] steve i didn't mean it King: i'm sorry dean, you really shouldn't have pissed off these cat lovers Koontz: [crying] i-i didn't mean it King: i know dean, it's ok Koontz: [crying] t-trixie didn't really say that King: i know dean Koontz: [crying] i just made it up Koontz: [crying] i-i wanted to seem cool

King: its ok dean King: you just can't say that sort of thing around cat people King: you know how they are King: they just don't understand things the way us dog people do Koontz: [sniffling] r-right

Koontz: [sniffling] i-its just that i thinks dogs are the best Poppy Z Brite: better than ferrets? Koontz: i-i-i King: don't answer that, dean Koontz: i think King: DO NOT answer that, dean

[frmulcahy]

My 15 year old sister just asked me if I’ve “ever heard of a very potter musical”

[your-neighbourhood-antisocial]

Rip Sirius Orion Black you would have loved our generation's suicidal tendencies

[rewritingcanon]

everyone saw the scorbus tiktok, this one is the lilysander one

[souptastical]

I cannot stop imagining this song to the drug fueled mishaps/adventures of Harry/Ron/Draco/Dean/Seamus & my OC's in my current fic

side note, this is basically Irish Kidz Bop (they a youth collective or some shit) and this is proof the next gen of kids are gonna be just fine if they spitting fire like this omg

[delineate-creates]

🚨Tentative Inktober Tags🚨

Alrighty y’all, despite having had a full month to ponder my ideas for October, I’m no closer to figuring things out than I was like two weeks ago. Such is life. This is just gonna be a tentative list of fandoms/people/pairings that I’ll be drawing in the coming days…if I don’t end up doing some of them, it’s because my execution was dogshit and I had to quickly pivot. Pls don’t kill me!!!

If you don’t like any of these topics and don’t wish to see them, please mute their corresponding tags :)

Fandom: tags

Harry Potter: hp, harry potter, tom riddle, tomarry, tomarrymort, hermione granger, ron weasley, golden trio

Star Wars: sw, star wars, anakin skywalker, obi wan kenobi, obikin

Black Sails: black sails, james flint, john silver, thomas hamilton, flinthamilton, silverflint

Marvel/X-Men: marvel, x men, charles xavier, erik lehnsherr, cherik, deadpool, wade wilson, wolverine, logan, poolverine, spider man, peter parker, spideypool

Interview with the Vampire (tv): iwtv, louis du pointe du lac

Supernatural: supernatural, dean winchester, castiel, destiel

Pride & Prejudice: pride and prejudice, mr darcy, fitzwilliam darcy

BTS: bts, park jimin, jeon jungkook, jikook

(Sry for being all over the place with the fandoms, the exploration theme this year is kicking my ass bad and it was really hard to think of stuff lmao)

[radhakawaii]

imagine being a hp fan and gen z in the year of our lord 2024

[skiddo-xy]

you know this whole pokemon legends za thing has reminded me that I actually did not finish the post-game and I still ahve to defeat volo's team and his giratina .

[hazedwords]

Chaos Club

*Lucius and Y/N are texting*

Lucius: Bring back PURIFIED water with NO minerals added for taste. NONE.

Y/N: I got spring water 😊

Lucius: NO!

Y/N: With EXTRA minerals!

Y/N: It’s like licking a stalagmite!

Lucius: DON’T COME BACK TO THE DORMS!

Y/N: Mmmmmm, cave water 😋

(Yes, I know phones didn’t exist to this level, but… *offers you GEN-Z marauders era?*)

[etaussilesautres]

Gossip Witch Characters A to Z

C - Caspian Crouch

—Royal or Kingly—

[ˈkæspi.ən] : Adventurous, mystical or spiritual

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: The Big Knish

John Baltisberger: Submitted for the approval of the Midnight Society, I call this Baltisberger: the tale of Schlomo Spade, Kosher Dick Lovecraft: [sweats] oh no Lovecraft: [sweats] o h  n o

Baltisberger: there’s also a kaiju involved Lovecraft: [stops sweating] oh good Baltisberger: the kaiju is also jewish Lovecraft: [sweating resumes] oh no Baltisberger: it was raining in the big KnishBaltisberger: the kind of rain that was thick Baltisberger: like matzo ball soup thick Baltisberger: Schlomo Spade was in his office Baltisberger: when in walked trouble Baltisberger: trouble on a real pair of pulkes

Baltisberger: she was hysterical. Shiksa usually are Baltisberger: said she had a case for me Baltisberger: apparently a couple of dybbuks were making trouble up in schlamazeltown Baltisberger: “not my beat,” I said “get yourself a rebbe or maybe even a cohen”

Baltisberger: “I’m just a two-bit gumshoe slash exorcist slash ritual kabbalah magician” Baltisberger: “though my mother wanted me to be a doctor”

Baltisberger: schlomo spade get the call to investigate a new crime Baltisberger: seems some nogudnik is taking big shits on torahs all over town Baltisberger: I’ve tangled with this schmuck before Baltisberger: zombie toilet jesus Baltisberger: [sucking on atmospheric cigarette] just another nittelnacht in the city

Lovecraft: i-i Lovecraft: I don’t know what any of those words mean Lovecraft: but their alien tonalities rasp on my delicate anglo-saxon ears like the croaks of an Italian Baltisberger: well good news Baltisberger: it’s not Italian Lovecraft: oh good Baltisberger: now here’s the bad news Lovecraft: I still don’t understand these words Baltisberger: don’t worry, I’ll footnote them Baltisberger: all of them Lovecraft: oh no that’s too many footnotes Mark Z Danielewski:you are¹⁸ like a little²³ baby⁵⁶ to me³⁴⁵⁶

[patchoulimodelo]

also while pokemon is topical i now want some of whatever vgc players have been smoking

[cryptid-crow-writing]

For those who would like a Gen Z/Modern Harry Potter, but still want to rock a cohesive timeline, I have something to offer you.

The following is a set of altered years for a Gen Z/Modern Harry Potter:

Dumbledore born - 1900 (1881)

Dumbledore Breaks From Grindiwald - 1930 (unknown)

WW2 - 1939 (real world event)

Tom Riddle born - 1928 (1926)

Tom to Power - 1972 (1956 - aproximate)

Grand Malfoy born - 1932 (1930)

Grand Potters born - 1936 (unknown)

Lucius Malfoy born - 1974 (1954)

Grand Evans born - 1948 (unknown)

Petunia Dursley born - 1976 (1958)

James & Lily Potter born - 1980 (1960)

Harry Potte born - 2001 (1981)

Harry to School - 2012 (1991)

Please keep in mind that timeframes such as Dumbledore and Grindelwald coming to power (which is shorter) and Tom coming to power (which is longer) are intentionally done in this manner to keep an over all adhesion to certain other parts of the timeline. I also included original years for the alterations as well incase that helps any.

Please remember to do your own research as well, but hopefully this comes in handy.

Disclaimer: This timeline was made by @cryptid-crow-writing (who is a 2001 Gen Z baby) mainly for their own use when writing fanfiction. The timeline is available for any who wish to use it, but is otherwise Crow’s own nonsense and shared in what they hope is a polite, kind, and helpful manner, Either way, hope you have fun.

[sparklemotioneer]

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