#HOW/WHY is john still alive im so lost

[monsterbisexual]

this lame guy in the main trap of the movie (w other ppl who keep dying, u get the picture) has said both "i wanna live" n "dont leave me" n i thought to myself disapprovingly 'u will Never be Adam Saw2004 :/"

[novastaree]

im going to say what probably everyone on here has said but i need to say it somewhere anyways.

its insane that both brothers forgot about Adam

i kinda understand how Dean forgot about Adam kinda like he only really met the kid once. That meeting being the same one where they lost him to an archangel and the other not technically real meeting were he beat a monster that looked like him to death. But yk those are forgettable moments in spn world

but sam?? literally how? he was in hell with Adam for like 150 years and still pushed him to the back of his mind for 10 years? and sure most of that time he was being tortured by the devil but when he got out he never thought about the other boy in the cage?

And the worst part was they went back to the cage and didn't even mention him!! they released the devil before asking about their brother they pulled into hell. Lucifer is the only one to mention Michael that episode and they decide to believe him for some reason

Sam and Dean also only ever remember Michael is alive. it's like they forget Michael has been possessing their brother and they think they can have Michael without Adam. Maybe they thought that because it was easier to think Michael got rid of Adam at some point then actually try and help the kid.

They didn't try hard enough for Adam and some people say it's because he didn't earn it but if anybody earned it I believe it was Adam. He got killed because he was related to John Winchester, Just like how sam and dean were basically cursed for being his son. Then Adam got a second chance because of the angels and he almost chose his brothers but couldn't because they failed to save him and choose to save each other once again.

And If that didn't earn him a chance to be saved did that not earn him a chance to be remembered?

And after that he didn't get another chance to prove himself to them. guess why? because the Winchesters throw him into hell! And I don't even think he should have had too prove himself anyways because he was honestly an innocent boy just cursed and forgotten because of who he was related to

so Adam was forgotten by Dean who probably only forgot him because Adam took Deans burden for him and by Sam who he suffered through the worst parts of hell with and not one real attempt was made to save him

well anyways happy birthday Adam Milligan🎉🎊🎂 have fun celebrating with Michael on his special day as well

also sorry if this rant was pointless and confusing i just love to yap about my favorite 'Winchester' brother and the injustice done on him

(also why did the Angels try to save Sam but not their big brother Michael who practically ran heaven? seems unfair as well, poor midam always being forgotten by their brothers)

[bucky-bucky-bucky-bucky]

Maybe I’m the odd one out here but What is and What Should Never Be always absolutely destroys me. I weep for almost the entire episode.

Dean has a home. He has someone who loves him. His life is normal and safe. And I cry.

The way he looks at Mary when he sees her for the first time. The way he nearly crumbles when she says “I told you angels were watching over you”. And then he hugs her with everything he has. He’s so happy to be back with him mom, back in his childhood home. His mom makes him lunch and it’s the best thing that’s ever happened to him. He gets to mow the lawn like a normal person. The trunk of his car isn’t full of weapons. He’s just ordinary, and he’s so happy about it. So I cry.

And the way he hugs Jess? He only ever met the girl once but he knows how much she means to Sam. And he knows that losing her almost killed his brother. And so he hugs her as tight as he can, because he’s so thrilled that she’s alive and Sam is happy. And I cry.

But what also kills me is the way that Sam and his mom talk about Dean. They’re always asking if he’s been drinking. They’re suspicious of all of his actions and his affections. Maybe the version of Dean from this life wasn’t exactly on the straight and narrow, but they talk about him like he’s a deadbeat. So I cry.

Jesus Christ, and when Dean goes to talk to his dad at the cemetery?

“It's like my old life is… is coming after me or something. Like it like it doesn't want me to be happy. Course I know what you'd say. Well, not the you that played softball but... "So go hunt the Djinn. He put you here, it can put you back. Your happiness for all those people's lives, no contest. Right?" But why? Why is it my job to save these people? Why do I have to be some kind of hero? What about us, huh? What, Mom's not supposed to live her life? Sammy's not supposed to get married? Why do we have to sacrifice everything, Dad?”

He doesn’t say “why can’t I have the life I want?” Sure, he asks why he has to be a hero. But he makes it more about Sam and his mom. Because he wants them to have the lives they deserve. And this moment just gives us another look at what a bastard John was. Dean knew how dismissive and rude John would be. He knew that John would never choose his own son’s happiness over the lives of strangers. And he’d probably scream at Dean for even considering the “selfish” option. The way Dean says that his old life doesn’t want him to be happy also kills me. Because it’s like, no matter where he goes or what he does, he’s destined for misery. So I sob.

And so Dean goes to hunt the Djinn. He chooses the lives of others over everything, like he always does. And he realizes his new life isn’t real. He realizes he’s been unconscious this entire time, and that Jess is dead. His mom is dead. Carmen doesn’t really exist. And I cry.

So he’s ready to kill himself, but the way that his family tries to convince him to stay?

Oh my god. Spiegel im Spiegel starts playing, and Sam asks “why’d you have to keep digging?”

Mary tells him to put the knife down. She says it doesn’t matter that this life isn’t real, it’s still better than anything he had before. And that yeah, in real life, he will die in a few days. But it will feel like years. And there will be “No more pain. Or fear. Just love and comfort. And safety,” none of which Dean has in his real life

But Dean still chooses to return to his life, because he cares more about our saving people than he does about his own happiness.

And he tells Sam about the fake life the djinn created for him. About how Sam was happy with Jess. And their mom was going to have grandchildren. Sam commends him for having the strength to fight it, to leave it behind. And Dean says, “But I wanted to stay. I wanted to stay so bad. I mean, ever since Dad... all I c– all I can think about is how much this job's cost us. We've lost so much. We've... sacrificed so much.”

and it’s like, damn. Why can’t Dean ever be truly happy? Cause even in this “happy” version of his life, everything was tinged with pain and sadness and grief. And I just wish he could get a break. So I cry and cry and cry and cry.

[soleadita]

Okay. Babe. My mutual in closest proximity. Talk to me about Stargate Atlantis pls.

OHMYGOD. okay. okay. i accidentally wrote you an essay. i'm not sure how much of it is coherent. i love u thank u for sending me this it made my night. <3

disclaimer: i'm so new. many people know much more than i do. and i still have about a season and a half left; i've been watching with a bestie so i've been forced to pace myself more than i would otherwise.

plot/premise: SGA is a spinoff of a movie (Stargate) and another show (Stargate SG-1). i was told, repeatedly, to watch the others first, but i'm impatient...i was a little confused but i got the gist eventually. ANYWAY. it's like...the lost city of atlantis has been located, except it's in another galaxy, and a group of scientists and military fools are going there for an expedition to like...explore/learn things? they're kind of in space, but it doesn't feel like that too much—by my standards, at least, and i am a known hater of media that takes place entirely in space. there's a team, they're a family, they get into Situations...u know the drill.

why i, specifically, enjoy the show:

john sheppard. JOHN. SHEPPARD. babe, i have not been this down bad for a character since DEREK HALE. im NOT KIDDING. i wanted to say more about him but i don't feel qualified enough to have my own thoughts yet. (or at least, i still feel shy about saying them out loud on the internet. i can and will go on and on about him in private, though.)

i did go into this for john sheppard. i will fully admit that. (i had a few mutuals who'd put him on my dash every so often and i could just tell he was gonna do me in.) HOWEVER. i am falling in love with nearly every single character. the character development is genuinely some of the best i've seen, and the way the team gradually turns into family who have each others' backs no matter what?? I'M EATING IT UP. (here is a video of the team, i CANNOT talk about each of them individually, i'd be here all night.)

john and rodney's dynamic is DELICIOUS. they're both obnoxiously intelligent (and they're both obnoxious, but in different ways). they annoy each other. they delight in each other's presence. they're teammates. they're best friends. they keep each other alive they'd do anything for each other they know each other better than they know themselves. (AND I KNOW I'M ONLY SCRATCHING THE SURFACE OF IT MYSELF, BECAUSE I HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED THE SHOW.......)(here is a video bc there's no way my words are gonna do it justice.)(also here are more words.)

the fic is SO good, too, and it's been especially fun bc the authors of a lot of my fav sterek fics had also written for sga back in the day, and getting to read stuff from them that i hadn't read yet....aughhhh. i love fandom.

the dialogue is hilarious, the situations are WILD (cannot tell you how many times i've been like WHO WAS IN THE WRITERS ROOM HOW DID THEY COME UP WITH THIS), and generally i'm just having such a great time.

in conclusion (bc i'm cutting myself off here), i'm never really sure whether i should recommend things to people or not bc my own tastes are basically just whatever happens to hit the unpredictable switch in my brain, but GENUINELY it's just SO FUN. i'm having the time of my life. i cannot shut up about it. <3

[quotidian-oblivion]

Grieving please! Sounds angsty so I’m instantly interested

WELL- You see. It is angsty, my sadeek (arabic for friend), BUT. Idk if i still wanna write it or not. So why dont i just post everything here? (Also, tysm so much for the ask, i dont have a mirror rn but im blushing, thank you)

~

Everyone in this family (except Damian) have lost their parents. So write about each of them going to the graves of their parents and describing what they’ve done with the family and how everyone is behaving. 

Bruce talks to Martha and Thomas Wayne.

Dick talks to John and Mary Grayson.

Jason talks to Willis Todd and Catherine Todd (also Sheila Haywood)

Tim talks to Jack and Janet Drake.

Cass talks to David Cain and Lady Shiva (idk if they’re dead or alive, but if they’re alive then she can just be sending a message to them while at her ballet recital or something. And she sees the Waynes in the front row, some with tears, some with not, but all of them with admiration and she smiles, knowing that they feel more family and home than her parents.)

Damian doesn’t talk to Bruce and Talia. He gets an assignment from school to write about his family in an English essay. He scoffs saying that this is child’s work. Jon reminds him that he is a child and suggests he just act as if he’s writing a diary then submit it since that’s what he does. So Damian, at night, writes about how annoying everyone is. Then he hovers and adds a ‘But…’ After that, he writes about Dick and the things he taught him and the times they spent together, he writes about Jason and how they bond and make fun of people and the different ways they can die and how Jason tells him stories about his time as a street kid cuz he knows that Damian secretly loves hearing them, he writes about Tim and how annoying he is, but that he sometimes sticks up for Damian. He pretends he isn’t doing any favors, but Damian once heard him confronting one of the bullies’ in his class and their parents about how he can completely wreck their business and send them shipped off to Madagascar. He writes about how Tim always defends him and blocks bullets and knives from hitting his back (he writes it like a metaphor, but little does the teacher know…) and how he got his brothers to come to dinner more often after he saw him eating alone. He knows it was Tim cuz everyone except him was sending secret glances at him the whole dinner. He writes about how he and Cass playfully fight and spend time together drawing and how she sometimes teaches some of her ballet moves. He writes about Bruce and how he thinks he failed as a father, but the fact that he’s alive and functioning, especially as someone like him (a vigilante) deserves more credit than given. He writes about Alfred and how he feels like he’s his real grandfather. 

Finally, it’s Alfred. This part is really short. But he’s in the kitchen, pretending to prepare the roasted chicken, but secretly listening to the dinner bickering. He smiles, glad that he stayed in this family. 

~

Ik ur not in the fandom, but im not sure if u know the characters, but i hope u get at least the gist of it. I legit ranted about this (as all of my fics start), but then later when i came back i was like "hmmm, eh, idk" so. Ye.

Thanks again for the ask, amigo.

[xsunnysucculentx]

polaroids

part five

summary: you get to know task 141 better and a small sparring session with ghost

warnings: mentions of lost father

pronouns: she/her

--------------------------------------------

"why didn't you listen to me, y/n?" price asked and you slouched on the edge of your bed, feeling like a kid being scolded by their parent.

"i heard someone say we had a soldier down, price, i can't just stand there and watch while being out of ammo!"

"look, i know you don't like taking orders, but how do you think im gonna explain to your mom that you died while under my watch?"

"there's no need to, i survived and i even saved ghost!" you argued and looked up to price. "i know you want to protect me, but im grown up now price.. i can handle myself, really."

"i know, i just.." he sighed and gave you a sad smile. "..i just dont want it to happen again"

you nodded, knowing what he meant and got up. "im not him, john.."

"yeah.. i know." his eyes softened and you smiled a little. "well, anyway, im gonna leave you to whatever you were about to do. don't forget that alejandro is cooking today"

"won't do" you smiled, taking a mental note to not come too late to dinner with the guys. price left your room, but turned around in the door. "i like your name. suits you." he closed the door before you could say thank you and left you to your own thoughts.

you pulled out some crystals and started putting them through the small room. the big orange salt rock on your nightstand, the smaller crystals around it and on your table. the room looked quite cold, you couldn't help but feel kinda uncomfortable here. you put up some polaroids on the side of your wardrobe, a picture of you and your sister on the wooden table and looked down at it. maybe one letter wouldn't hurt.. just so she'd know that you were alive.

your thoughts were interrupted when you heard a knock on your door. you gathered yourself for a second and opened it. ghost stood there in a black hoodie and grey sweatpants, his mask over his face and his hands clasped behind his back.

"hello" you greeted him and made way to let him into your room.

"hello" he replied and went into your room. "i wanted to ask if you'd like to come to the common room? soap said that we had to work on our friendship to you or something like that, so we could understand each other better on the field."

"we understood each other perfectly" you joked and put your hands on your hips. "ah, sure why not, decorating can wait."

"that your sister?" ghost pointed to the picture on your table and you nodded.

"10 years ago, she's 7 here"

ghost just nodded and looked around in your room. you like crystals, as it seemed.

"oh wait!" you opened your wardrobe and took out the polaroid camera. "i still have a couple of pictures left, do you think we could take some?" you were excited. it was kinda.. cute.

"yes, sure." ghost said and made his way out of your room, you following him quickly.

"we know next to nothing about you rain and you know almost nothing about us!" gaz explained and you sat down between soap and him on the round black couch at the common room.

"what do you wanna know then?"

"everything!" soap put some potato crisps in his mouth and munched on them. "seems like you're gonna stay a while. my name's johnny."

"im kyle" gaz said and shook your hand jokingly.

"you know my name" alejandro said and winked. all eyes landed on ghost and he looked you straight in the eyes.

"simon"

"its so nice to get to know you all!" you clapped your hands lightly. "im y/n"

"ohh thats a pretty name" soap commented and you nodded.

"thanks" you smiled and clasped your hands together. "so i heard alejandro is cooking today. do you all know how to cook or is it like a rarity here?"

"nah, he just wants to leave a good impression" gaz laughed and alejandro shot him a death glare.

"watch your mouth pendejo, it's my turn to cook anyway" he looked back at you. "soap can tell you about ghosts great cooking"

"mate!" soap almost immediately shot up. "he's trying to kill me, i swear! he puts way more spice in my portion, and i will die on that hill!" the more soap said, the stronger his accent peeked through. you could swear you could hear ghost chuckle and smiled a little. the group dynamic was really.. something.

"thats a lie, johnny" ghost said and you could practically see the smile from under the mask.

"but to come back to your question" gaz started and put a leg under himself. "we can cook more or less decently. except alejandro, he's a fucking chef or something"

"and what about you?" soap asked and popped some more crisps in his mouth.

"not to kiss my own ass yeah" you put your hands up slightly. "but i'd say im a pretty good cook."

"we're gonna need proof on that" alejandro said and crossed his arms.

"yeah yeah someday maybe" you brushed it off and gaz pointed to your camera.

"fucking love polaroids" he said and you shot a photo of him, making a peace sign and smiling brightly.

"i always take some photos of my squad, remembering the times we've had" you explained and put the developing photo on the coffee table. "if its okay with you i'd like to take a picture with you all"

soap and gaz quickly went to alejandros and ghosts side, sitting down and posing. ghost had his arm behind alejandro, one hand on his knee and the other showing a peace sign behind alejandros shoulder. soap and gaz made the 🤙🏼 sign and alejandro just had his thumb up. you shot the photo and gaz quickly stood up.

"your turn" he said and alejandro scootched over to make some room between him and ghost. you sat down, soap at your feet, doing the 'draw me like one of your french girls' pose and you made a heart with your index and middle finger from both hands. you noticed ghosts hand still staying on its place behind you and you smiled for the picture.

"guys" price came into the room, crashing the picture, as all of you turned around and gaz took the photo just in that moment. "oh, didn't notice you were taking pictures"

"rain has a polaroid camera, i've always wanted to use one" gaz said and sat down on the couch.

"whats wrong captain?" soap asked and you tapped his shoulder quickly.

"10 bucks i can make him say updog" you whispered and soap cocked an eyebrow.

"deal" he shook your hand and price just didn't question it. you young people had always something on your mind.

"nothing, i just wanted to check how rain is setting in" he crossed his arms. "and also someone shook the soda cans again, shit exploded right into my face"

"ohhh so thats why it smells like updog in here!" you said like it was the most casual thing.

"whats updog?" price asked and you earned a gaped mouth from soap.

"nothing much, and you?" you smiled and price shook his head.

"very funny" he commented and started leaving the room. "i bet you shook the cans."

"i would never ever do something so cruel, i like my sodas with carbonation, thank you" you said defensively and were kinda offended that he'd think of you that way. "you owe me" you stood up and winked at soap.

"miss girl that wasn't a fair game!" he complained and you sat down next to gaz. you shrugged and flipped the developed photos. they turned out cute, not gonna lie. especially the last one, where price came into the room and all of you looked to the side to him.

"all right" alejandro slapped his thighs once. "im gonna go start cooking, it'll be done in maybe an hour?" he stood up and left the common room.

in that hour you talked with gaz, being the two youngest in the group you understood each other on a different level. and he was kinda the only one who understood your gen z language. imagine going up to ghost and calling him zesty. nah, mans would be confused as fuck.

you two were the only ones left in the common room, everyone else left to go train, rest or do something else.

"so wait you're telling me" gaz took a sip from his coke and rested his back against the couch opposite of you. "your neighbour broke into your apartement just to steal some tea on a sunday ?"

"dont ask me, maybe he had a really bad craving for it" you shrugged and laughed.

"you need to start locking your door with two locks or something" he suggested and you waved it off.

"i already moved out there, the entire building was kinda weird. every hallway felt like it led to the backrooms"

"guys the food is ready!" soap announced through the open door and poked his head into the room.

"good, im starving" you said and stretched.

on your way to the cafeteria soap and gaz were chatting, exchanging some gossip about other military soldiers.

you sat down next to ghost and alejandro put a plate in the middle of the table, he only cooked for the task force, thats why you were the only ones here right now. he made spaghetti and some sauce, obviously no three course meal, and the sauce seemed to be self made. the others put noodles on their plates, you did the same and light chatter filled the room.

"its good" you said to alejandro and he nodded in appreciation once.

"you down for sparring later?" ghost asked and looked into his plate.

"sure, but i will not be your wreckdoll again and demonstrate take down techniques!"

"we'll see" the corners of his mouth twitched up lightly and you huffed.

"i noticed your knife techniques needing some training." ghost said and took two practice knifes.

"i mean i'm a sniper, i never really needed knife skills." you shrugged and looked at the metal knife with a dull edge. they looked like they would hurt, not gonna lie.

"you love running into field apperently, if you're going to keep doing that, you need to be trained in basic hand to hand combat." he flipped the knife in his hand and got into position. the on-base gym was rather empty, some soldiers training here and there, but mostly you were alone.

"you'd probably be dead or shot without me, i handled my self pretty good back there, if i do say so myself." you took the knife in your dominant hand and took the same position in as him.

"is that so?" he asked and launched forward, pressing the knife against your throat.

"that wasn't very i'm-gonna-teach-you-how-to-defend-yourself of you!" you said and took a step back. "okay i get it, we need to work on my reaction time, who would've thought you're gonna launch at me like that!" you groaned at pushed the knife out of your face.

"look, you're gpnna attack the chest, shoulders, face, anywhere here" ghost motioned to the upper part of his body. "catch them off guard. we're gonna start slow. block my attacks like you usually would."

you took a breath and started blocking his attacks, by pushing his wrists away and ducking away from the knife.

"faster" he said and increased the speed, taking his second arm and immitating punches. "you're doing good, faster"

slowly you were getting problems with countering his attacks, you weren't really trained for stuff like that. your hands were steady, your movements always fluent and slow, no sudden reactions. the knife fight was completely different than what you were used to.

"no!" you gasped when his knife hit your chest and slit over it.

"two minutes, that's not enough" ghost sighed. "attack me."

you nodded and brushed the hair out of your face, raising your arms, mimicking the motions you'd usually use in combat, still those they teached in boot-camp.

"you gotta surprise me, hit me with something i wouldn't expect!"

you thought about it for a moment, what would really catch him off guard? you remembered your first training with him, using your smaller frame as an advantage and surprise attacking him. but that wouldn't work, he knew your tactic. but wait, maybe there was one thing you didn't try before.

you let out a small breath and took a step into his direction, faking an attack from the left side, throwing the knife into your less dominant hand and faking another attack with that hand. ghost was confused, not knowing where to block your attacks.

you tried to execute your plan in your head, if all went according to it, you could get ghost onto the ground. you took a few fast steps to him and jumped up, your right knee angled on his chest, the other wraping around his neck. you put the angled knee around his neck too and with the force of your spin you could throw him onto the ground and pin him to the ground.

you breathed heavily and put pressure with your knee onto his chest, putting the knife against his throat. ghosts eyes widened for a split second and he tapped your thigh.

"that's what i'm talking about." his mask shifted a little, as if he was smiling underneath it.

you noticed his glance fall onto your upper body and thighs for a second, before looking into your eyes again.

"you did good, i'm impressed."

[sheikahwarriork]

finished season 5 but im gonna talk about season 4 first:

what the fuck happened in season 4? not in the sense "wtf im confused" but in the sense i sincerely cant remember what the hell happened. i finished it like 4 days ago. it's all blurried in my head lmao

-> ok according to wikipedia it was about how they could escape the praimfaya and now I REMEMBER i was ANGRY all the time

it was very frustrating seeing the people coming up with a solution, just for the solution to be destroyed 2 seconds later. NOTHING went WELL when IT COULD

i dont care about gaia. yeah sorry. she could not exist and i wouldnt notice

rip roan i guess. wasted potential

im sorry to say i didnt care about luna either. i thought her character would be better written but OH WELL CANT HAVE SHIT IN THIS SERIE

im so glad jaha died. another headache source gone <3

gotta be honest i respect jasper's whole thing. he desperately wanted to die since the end of season 2, but he found a way to go as he liked. 10/10 character

im not a doctor but im not sure raven could have survived that weird therapy thing she did to herself while listeing to becca and sinclair's voices

anyway that part about raven was very cool because it was *her* talking to herself in the end, and all those things "sinclair" said were actually from raven. shes officially babygirl

that ilian character was so funny. i mean *he* was not funny. i didnt give a shit about him. but octavia banging him was funny

john murphy keeps being the top tier funniest character ever. also hes super cute with emori. what could possibly go wrong?

bellamy is very weird. one season hes smart and doesnt deserve to die, the other season hes the dumbest bitch alive and i want him to explode. like a sinusoid

marcus kane deserves some rest from this serie

THEY WENT UP TO THE SKY???

when raven & co. decided to go to space to escape the disaster i thought "well monty and harper are a couple... murphy and emori are one too.... bellamy and echo 100% are going to fuck (obvious since they met on the cages in mount weather), so that leaves.... CLARKE AND RAVEN!!! MAY THEY HAVE GAYSEX DESPITE FINN'S MEMORY" but nope. clarke remained on the ground. crazy how this serie refuses to realize my ancient thought about clarke and raven getting together to spite finn

about season 5:

i'm surprised myself to say i actually enjoyed season 5?? like it didnt give me headaches!!! i think it is WELL written (crazy i know), best season so far

yes the characters still did questionable things but all their decision were COHERENT. abby taking the pills, octavia being a dispotic ruler, kane allying with diyoza for peace... even the new characters, such as diyoza and mccreary, were well written!!!

FINALLY clarke is a good character. i enjoy her much more now that she has her daughter/little sister to care about. im gonna be honest: when she used to say "im doing it for my people!!!" i hated it bc it felt like hypocrisy, she didnt care about *those people*, she cared about the ideal of humanity surviving. her methods are still the same, but i respect her now, bc with madi i CAN SEE why she's willing to kill a lot of people to save her daughter

bellamy too is a good character now. those 6 years did good to everyone

octavia's character is good too, even if she did a lot of dumb things!! (such as setting of fire the hydrofarm)

LMAO CANNIBALISM.

ohhh bellamy and echo gpt together. what a surprise.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN MURPHY FOUGHT WITH EVERYONE AND BROKE UP WITH EMORI DURING THE SIX YEARS??? i am very sad

raven falling for that guy (dont remember his name) is a bit out of the blue but tbh she deserves to get laid. i think the last time she had sex was with bellamy in season 1? lmao. so its fine

marcus kane still makes me Feel Things

indra good character

didnt quite get madi's character tbh. lets see

mccreary blowing up the planet for the third (4th? lost count) time in a century gave me a little of headache but its ok bc i understood him (dumb but WELL WRITTEN)

so they got on that spaceship for 10 years ok

wait nope monty and harper decided to stay awake and HAD A SON??? ok i guess

i actually respect a lot their decision. monty 10/10 character. im sad he will no longer be in the serie but im not mad hes dead (like i was for lexa and lincoln)

also super healthy couple. monty and harper were alone for like 50 years and didnt go crazy. 10/10 relationship

marcus kane keeps being unable to die. love to see this

btw i'm watching the 100 for the first time in my life but i remember the hype on the internet in like 2015 about this serie

i have Thoughts (just started 3rd season so this is about seasons 1 and 2)

everyone is fucking stupid. like really really stupid. i cant believe humanity survived for 97 years

clarke is smart but also very very stupid. why is a 17 yo in charge

raven is smart, not too stupid. i forgive her

john murphy is the funniest character ever

i remembered there was lesbians but i didnt know who the lesbians were. at first i thought they were clarke and raven bc they fight over a white boy so i thought i would be funny if they were The Lesbians

lexa can step on me

its cool lexa is canonically bi but i cant believe she fell for clarke. lexa deserves better. clarke is too stupid for her

the grounders are RIGHT. they are FUCKING RIGHT. SINCE EPISODE 1. they are NOT stupid

i called finn "white boy" during all the serie. he's such a white boy. he's very very stupid. i'm glad he died and i hated when the sky people wanted to save him from the execution bc THE GROUNDERS WERE RIGHT HE HAD TO DIE. he killed 18 FUCKING DEFENSELESS ELDERS AND CHILDREN

i miss anya. she was such a badass. clarke: "nuuuh i need a sharp and sterile knife-" anya proceeds to BIT HER OWN ARM to get the chip out. 10/10 character

about the mountain weather arc: oh my god they are so stupid. mountain people are so stupid i mean. "ohh we need sky people's bone marrow so we can survive but theres only 47 of them so in order to take all the bone marrow for us they have to die" you know how they could handle this shit?? by fucking ASKING. they KNEW there were other sky people on the ground now. like at least 100 of them i think. so they should have gone to them and say, "hi sorry we are humans who have to live underground bc radiations. but your bone marrow could save us. so can all of you give us a bit of your bone marrow? we offer an alliance and other commodities (medicines etc)". imo sky people would say YES bc bone marrow grows back its not too dangerous to donate it if its just a bit. everybody would be alive by now. and i wouldnt have got a headache

still about mountain weather arc: another way to handle that would have been: asking the 47 kids a bit of their bone marrow and WAITING it to grow back. like donators in real life yk? by 2 years all of the mountain people could have gone on the surface and everybody would be alive now and i wouldnt have got a headache

marcus kane is also a very funny character. hes desperately trying to die since they flowed those 320 people on the arc. and i LOVE he CANT die. everytime he's like "omg finally im going to die" and someone saves him. im sure as soon as he thinks "ok maybe being alive is not so bad" he gets shot

mountain weather arc is truly the most stupid thing that every happened in a tv show. they chose the worst possible way to handle the problem. they acted more stupidly than the kids in season 1. i really cant believe humanity survived for 97 years

the "100" on the spaceship were NEVER exactly one hundred. bc bellamy got inside so they were 101. but during the landing 2 kids died. so they were 99. there is not a single moment in this serie called "the 100" were they are one hundred. this fact is driving me crazy

i truly hope everyone dies bc i hate almost all of them. the only people that imo are allowed to survive are: octavia, jasper, monty, raven, murphy, kane (bc its funny he cant die), and all of the grounders. other peoples are too stupid to live so i hope they die soon so i dont get other headaches (edit: bellamy is on thin ice bc hes funny but hes also very much stupid)

i cant believe mountain weather arc. oh my god it was so stupid

[serenata-your-neighborhood-lefty]

Honest question, where can i start to educate myself in economics and such?

I've been very anticapitalist for many years but where i live the educational system took out Ethics, Philosophy and social studies from the Schools programs so you can only access to them through private universities (oh the irony)

I know there is no shortcut but im willing to take the whole trip but have no idea where to start, also, english is not my first language but i think im good enough and im pretty fluent in spanish so can read in both.

Sorry to bother, im just very lost and there's so much information i don't know where to start

Hey! I'm on the exact same journey and it warms my heart to hear from other people that are too, so thank you for reaching out. There’s such a massive corpus of anti-capitalist literature that it really is difficult to know where to begin. I got over that hurdle by doing exactly what you just did: simply asking other comrades for their advice and suggestions. It really is the best way to learn and I’m so grateful to all the people that have helped me this far.

I’m also glad you narrowed it down to economics for me! This list is an intro to socialist economics rather than to socialism in general (although I’ll do a more general list in the future). I’ve uploaded the ebooks where I can find them.

Intro-level theory:

Wage Labour and Capital by Karl Marx. Just 39 pages long. Links to webpage, pdf and audiobook.

Value, Price, and Profit by Karl Marx. 107 pages. Webpage, pdf.

Other intro-level books:

The Revolutionary Ideas of Karl Marx by Alex Callinicos. pdf (*the author is still alive, so you might prefer to pay for his book if you can afford it)

Economics for Beginners by John Keracher. Webpage. 

An Introduction to Marxist Economic Theory by Ernest Mandel. The ‘heaviest’ of these books. Webpage. 

Why Marx Was Right by Terry Eagleton. Pretty light. HIGHLY recommend. This is broader / less economics-focused than the other books but a really enjoyable entry-level book with some quick wit. pdf  (*the author is still alive, so you might prefer to pay for his book if you can afford it)

Youtube series:

Reading Marx’s Capital with David Harvey. HIGHLY recommended. Link.

Introduction to Marxian Economics by economist Dr Stephen Resnick. This is an online university course by the University of Massachusetts Amherst. Link.

Youtube shorts: 

Any vids by Prof Richard Wolff. Here’s one on surplus value to get you started: link 

“Wage Labour and Capital” Explained, Part 1: What Are Wages?. Link.

Podcasts:

Although I’ve only listened to a few episodes thus far, Revolutionary Left Radio make chores much more enjoyable. 

Economics-focused episodes include: “The Fundamentals of Marxism: Historical Materialism, Dialectics, & Political Economy” (link), “Challenging Capitalism: Envisioning a Socialist Workplace (link) and “Estranged Labor: Karl Marx on Alienation” (link).

(Caveat: while they present things from a broadly leftist perspective, I’m pretty sure the hosts are ML or MLM, so be aware that this might influence their views sometimes)

Other resources:

r/socialism_101 is a great place to ask your own questions and see the answers to questions you never knew you had. It helped me get into socialism in the first place. 

Acknowledgments: This was a collective effort

Some of these recommendations are from @creeping-socialism.​, who is more well-read than me and posts some great snippets of theory.

@everyone else, please feel free to add any suggestions, I’d love to have them!

One last note

I’ve found reading literature / learning theory to be really rewarding and I hope you find that same satisfaction. I still remember how mind-blown I was at Marx’s explanation of globalisation in The Manifesto, and how relevant it felt despite having been written in 1848. While the human experience is what made us anti-capitalist, theory directs that energy into something coherent. Makes it all make sense. 

Enjoy!

[alwaysahiccupandastrid]

His Dark Materials S2 Ep 6 - Rambling/Thoughts

I really cannot believe that we’re at the penultimate episode already, oh my gosh. It’s gone by so fast??

Again, because I’ve reread TSK in the last couple of weeks, the book is fresh in my mind but I’ve probably still missed stuff

Also last week was so intense and seeing the “previously on” section made me remember just how intense that was, so it’s a hard job to top that!

ANGELS AHH RIGHT AWAY IM GEEKING OUT

“The last time they were seen was to make war” - IT’S HAPPENING ASDFGHJKL

Ruta going off to see Asriel and me just remembering what exactly went down between them while she was there with him... heh

So Will’s hand looks AWFUL oh my god poor Will 😭

Pan is REALLY into his Red PAN-da form oh my goodness

So the other kids out for revenge terrified the living SHIT out of me, dear god I don’t think it could be any creepier than dozens of them appearing out of the shadows like that, like it’s genuinely terrifying

Serafina just dropped right in to rescue them and I was both relieved and a little disappointed? Because in the book the whole chase sequence is so much longer and more important, like it takes up most of an entire chapter I think, and here it’s like two minutes?

Serafina: What does this edge cut? // Lyra: Everything (Will at the same time: Nothing.) - 😂

I missed Lee and Jopari tbh so yay to seeing them once more! And they’ve crossed into the next world!

Oh hi again Mary!

^ I wasn’t expecting to see Mary again this series because in TSK book, her last appearance is going through the window (which was last episode), so I’m a little curious as to whether we’re going to get a TINY little peek into The Amber Spyglass here (it’s been years since I reread it, I apologize). Because last series they did a bit of TSK (namely introducing Will + him crossing into Cittagazze), so it would be interesting!

“Good, something I can understand for a change” - LOL Same

Serafina wants to take Lyra back to her world?? Really??

Not gonna lie, the two girls spying on Mary was kind of low-key creepy

Lyra mentioning that she crossed worlds to find out about Dust and mentioning Roger 😭

Also I’m so emotional over just how much she wants Will to be safe, like she would really do anything to keep him safe and I love it

Lyra asking the Alethiometer where Will’s dad is and “he’s in this world” - ahhh it’s going to happen!

Also I really hope that the BBC/whoever decides to sell replica Alethiometers because the design is so beautiful?! I would fork out serious dough for one, and it would go nicely with the one I have from the film

No but seriously, words don’t describe just how badly I want a replica

“I wanted to fly so I summoned you here, now I’m flying” - LOL OKAY THEN JOHN

Ooh damn, that outfit Marisa is wearing is FINE. I’m slightly gayer than I was before, ngl

I was like “nooo Mary don’t be nice to these kids, they’re awful”

But it’s very sweet that she offers them food?? Like she pulls a chocolate bar out and is like “it’s no good for you, it’s full of sugar”... I love her

The way that Mary was so happy and excited when they mentioned Lyra, only to tell the girls off for trying to kill her - more of a mum than Mrs Coulter tbh

“Miss, can I have a hug?” - AWWW OMG WHY AM I SAD

They asked Mary to stay and look after them omg 😭😭😭

“Come with me, I’ll bring you to your adults” - ooh okay this could go any number of ways... Either she actually reunites them with their families and all’s well, or she takes them up there and their parents/adults are all dead (for lack of a better word)? Or the Spectres attack after Mary leaves them with the adults??

Jopari talking about meeting his dæmon and also a little bit about trying to get back to his family :(

“Can you magic us up a fire?” “One moment” *presents a box of matches” - LMFAO

Wait did Serafina seriously just imply that she thought Will might hurt Lyra?!?

Serafina saying that if protecting Lyra means protecting Will as well... Yes, protect Will please! Protect BOTH of these children, I literally BEG you, they’ve gone through far too much

Ooh okay so the witch ritual/spell was kind of cool to see!

Lyra saying “please tell me he’ll be alright” 😭♥️

The fact that Lyra curled up close to Will and then Pan (in ermine form) curled up CLOSER to Will is so cute, they both love Will so much

Pan: “We feel safe her... don’t we?” / OOF OKAY THIS IS F I N E

I already know what Lyra’s “other name” is because I read the book but the hints are anything BUT subtle tbh. “Mother of us all, cause of all sin, tempted by the serpent”... I’m not even that religious but I think it’s pretty obvious.

Also, if Mary is playing the part of the “serpent” within Lyra’s destiny, does that mean that Mary has tempted Lyra? Or that she will?

Boreal being nervous about being in the city and Marisa is just so unimpressed by him... Mood

That smirk she had when going up to that Spectre victim was so chilling, we have to stan Ruth Wilson and her incredible acting

Also, fun fact, Ruth Wilson went to my sixth form college and is from Surrey (like me), and she grew up in Shepperton, which is where my Nan used to live when she was alive (my uncle and aunt live there still), so that’s super exciting!

“We could learn from this” - PLEASE DO NOT MA’AM

God I hate the Magisterium so fucking much, the patriarchy is so strong with them

Oh great, now they’re gunning to kill Lyra :/

Also, off topic, I’ve only just connected that Will Keen, who plays Father MacPhail, is Dafne Keen’s dad?!?

“She’s lost a lot for one so young” - AND SHE’S STILL GOING TO LOSE PEOPLE, WHY IS THIS FAIR PHILIP PULLMAN 😭

“She must be protected” - AGAIN, they BOTH need protecting PLEASE

The Spectre noises reminded me of the noises of the Smoke Monster from LOST, so that’s definitely trippy for me

Thanks, I hate it

I nearly shouted “WHAT THE FUCK IS SHE DOING” out loud in front of both my parents, I seriously thought she had a damn death wish

I have never been so damn tense in my entire life as I am watching this show - and I KNOW what happens

HOW DID SHE DO THAT WITH THE SPECTRES SOMEONE PLEASE EXPLAIN

Lee’s so worried about Lyra - 11/10, Father of the Year

The Magisterium airships... NO. FUCK. WE’RE AT THAT POINT ALREADY AND IM NOT OKAY BECAUSE I KNOW HOW AND WHERE THIS ENDS AND I HATE IT

I deadass thought Marisa and Carlo were about to kiss when he ran up to her and I actually said out loud “NO please don’t”

Look I must just be so dirty minded but when she said “let’s celebrate”, my immediate reaction was “NO NO NO NO EW EW EW NO” and “I hope she just means having a drink and not doing the frickety-frack”

I was so close to tearing up as Will was talking about his mum, her illness, and the boys who were mean to her because of it. His love for his mum is so beautifully written and the way Amir Wilson is playing Will is so wonderful

I was also close to tears when he was talking about his dad and how he used to imagine about his dad, so maybe I’m just emotional anyway

“Could go to school... have friends” - okay yeah no I’m definitely crying 😭

“I couldn’t trust anyone.” “Until you met me.” “Yeah.” - EXCUSE ME ♥️😭 my HEART

I love one (1) soft boy, and one (1) feral girl and her dæmon

The relief I felt when I saw Marisa and Carlo were literally just having drinks 😅

“They consume what makes us human, so I just suppressed that and hid it” + *cut to the monkey looking kinda sad/uncomfortable* - Umm fUCK OKAY THEN

Why am I feeling sorry for the monkey?!?

“You think we’re equal?” - LMFAO RIGHT

EWW THEY KISSED. No, just... nO

When I saw his snake dæmon moving towards her monkey, I thought one of two things was about to happen: 1) the monkey was going to pet and paw and the snake as Marisa seduced Boreal, or 3) the monkey was going to strange the snake and kill Boreal

OKAY THIS TOOK A SHARP BUT NOT UNWELCOMED TURN

“You’ve NEVER been my equal.” “You’d only hold me back.” - OH MY GOD YES THE SHADE

She’s not wrong though let’s be honest here

So she poisoned him I’m assuming? She poisoned his drink because the monkey didn’t actually touch the snake... damn.

Her just sitting there and continuing to drink with his dead body there is... damn.

“Into that valley” NO NO, please no

Jopari really just summoned a whole damn storm huh

Also the fact he fully trusts in Lee’s abilities to land them safely :3

Lee: “Can we trust him?” // Hester: “Do we have another choice?!!” - LMFAO I love them so much

THE WAY I NEARLY SCREAMED WHEN THAT WITCH GOT ATTACKED BY A SPECTRE OMFG AT LEAST WILL WAS THERE TO SAVE HER

Okay but did Marisa REALLY sit there for HOURS with Boreal’s corpse sitting opposite her?!?

Her burning her hand on the flame in front of the monkey, and the monkey clearly whimpering and in pain was so agonizing to watch, I can’t take this show

Also, you have to wonder just how many times she’s harmed herself (and him) for her to keep doing it with next to no problems (like separating from each other all the time)

I was so excited to see the birds attacking the zeppelins, like it was one of my favourite details in the book, and I worried that they wouldn’t have the budget for it but yay!

I do kind of wish that we’d had Sayan Kötor as the “eagle Queen” leading them though - she probably was but I wish we’d actually seen it or heard Jopari say it or whatever

THEY SHOT THE GAS CANNISTER OH SHIT THEY’RE GOING DOWN HARD AND FAST IN THAT BALLOON

HOLD ON BBC YOU CANNOT END THIS THERE?!? EXCUSE ME?!

The last episode is next week and on an hour earlier, so that’s exciting! I have no idea what I’ll do once this series ends, or when we’ll even get the third and final series because of COVID and filming delays, but I’m excited for it nonetheless and hoping it’s next November/December or something!

[littlebitoffanfic]

The Warriors Smile

Fandom: Pocahontas Characters: Kocoum, Kekata, Nakoma, Pocahontas Relationship: Kocoum AN: So I remember seeing this request for Kocoum, but I cant seem to find the specific request. I remember it being about him not dying and the reader traveling with John and the reader falling in love with Kocoum and respecting his culture, but the details are foggy. Im not sure if this was what you had in mind, but I hope it satisfies you for now and if ive totally miss remembers the request or its not what you were looking for, just let me know 😊

  You didn’t like being on deck when it was such a storm. You were useful as a medic, but your training didn’t extend to battle the harsh sea. But after John had jumped overboard for Thomas, you came to make sure they weren’t injured. John saw your sour face when the men started talk of killing anyone you came across in the new world. After he came down from the crows nest, he tried to cheer you up, not knowing that you only stayed on deck to speak with him. “You look like you were the one who fell overboard.” He leaned against the banister, his face scrunched up in fake concern. “I wish you wouldn’t call them savages.” You mumbled to John, not having enough energy to fight with the rest of the crew. “But they are.” He looked at you perplexed. “Besides, everyone else on this ship calls them sav-“ “You’re not everyone else, John. And they look up to you. You cant have not noticed Thomas following you around like a shadow.” You saw the smirk pull at his lips meaning he knew what you were talking about. 

“He listens to you, too. Hes becoming pretty knowledgeable with medical stuff because he follows you around like a child.” John fires back, and he was right. But only because you warned Thomas that you might not always be around and he needed to know enough in case something happened to you. “Just, just remember. They’re humans too.” You huffed, wanting to move the subject back. “But they’re different.” John kicks off a boot to pour out some water. “They aren’t as different as you think, John. We’re different. Most people on this ship are different. Different eye colour, hair colour, height, weight, built.” You wave to the crew who weren’t paying any head as they secured the deck. “But i bet they have hearts that beat, lungs that breath and blood that runs red.” “Maybe I’ll find you a savage for you to find out.” John smirks at you as he tries to lighten the mood, but the moment he saw you weren’t impressed, he stopped. John could normally read you like a book. You had bother grown up together, and he pulled you along on his adventures many times. He got into fights and you patched him up. You had warned him that you were just a nurse, and one day you might not be able to patch him up. But he dismissed you as a ‘rambling wife’. Not that you were married, or anywhere near a relationship. In truth, you were sure you two would rip each others throats out if left alone too long. But people often assumed there was more than friendship. “I truly hope you are joking, John. No one deserves to die for simply being alive.” You shake your head, disappointed as you stand, rubbing your arms. You turn to disappear back into your quarters, hoping your words might have some weight with the man.

------time skip ---------------

 When John disappeared from the landing party, you found yourself wondering into the surrounding woods. You knew you would be chastised for it later, but you didn’t care. It was so beautiful. you wouldn’t go too far, venturing about 15 minutes away from the others until you found a clearing. The way the sun shone down on the forests was like something out of a fairy-tale. You were so lost in the beauty of it all that you almost didn’t notice the small chirping coming from the ground beside you. Glancing down, you saw a small bird. It had a yellowy orange chest, with a blue back and black markings. Crouching down, you wondered why a bird would be this close to the ground. It seemed dangerous. Unless something was wrong with him? The bird began to jump to you, but you saw its left leg wasn’t taking any pressure and it hobbles a little. “Shhh.” You picked up the small bird with ease and sat down with your legs crossed, your skirt making a small nest for the animal to sit in. “I think you have dislocated your leg, sir.” You mused, gently wrapping the bird in the towel and making sure you could still get to the leg . You grabbed some small bandages you used for fingers and smaller cuts and folded it in half so it was the length of the birds leg. You wrapped the small leg till you felt it had enough padding without hindering the bird too much and then tied it up. “All done. My fee will be in the mail.” You laugh to yourself, even though there was no one around to hear your little joke. You unwrap the bird, which tweets happily. “Lets get you somewhere high.” Getting to your feet, you hold the bird in your hands, leaving the towel and your medical supplies on the floor as you searched the surrounding trees till you found a branch about the hight of you eyes. Taking the bird over, you place it on the tree, but the branch wasn’t thick enough and you didn’t think it was high enough either. “Higher?” You ask, even though the bird has no say as you pick it up again, venturing to another tree which was higher up. The bird didn’t even move from your hand as you reached up to let it go onto the branch. It started tweeted, looking up to a near by tree. You followed its eyes and saw a small bundle of sticks and twigs nestled between two thick branches. The problem was that the nest was about 10 foot off the ground. You groaned, walking up to the tree and looking up at your new destination. There was a branch that you could grab onto, but you didn’t know if you had the upper body strength to pull yourself up and hold yourself with just one free hand. Moving the bird into one hand, you reached up and grabbed the branch. You managed to walk up the tree and pull yourself up till you were eye level with the branch you were holding, but your arm was shaking. You were almost parallel to the branch as you glanced down, seeing you were now a good 5 foot off the ground.  Before you could even reach out and attempt to put the bird up to its nest, your arm spasmed and you lost your grip. You didn’t even have a chance to yell as you fell, preparing yourself to crash on the ground. Until arms caught you. Your eyes had been scrunched shut, expecting pain, so your mind immediately thought John or one of the others had found you. Opening your eyes, you forgot how to breath. The man who had caught you was unbelievably handsome. Strong cheek bones and jaw line with dark brown, intelligent eyes that stared back at your own. You knew your surprise was painted on your face, but his was stoic, like a warrior. He had long hair with shaven sides, like a mohawk, but the hair fell to the left and down to his shoulder, and white feathers adorned the back of his head. The man lowered you to the ground gently. You both watched each others every movement, trying to work out if the other was dangerous or not. Just because you refused to call them savages didn’t mean you trusted them completely. You were on their land, their homes. They were within their rights to chase you off or punish you if they saw fit. The bird chirped in your hands. Apparently, you had tried to protect the bird from the fall rather than try held yourself. Great self-preservation skills. The man took a few steps back from you but before you could ask why, he ran at you. You let out a small yelp, turning away to try protect yourself. But then you heard a grunt. Looking through your hair, you saw he had ran right past you. And up the tree. He was holding himself on the branch, managing to get enough momentum to get past the lower branch and brace himself on it with a straight elbow on one hand. The sheer strength in his arm was shown by the muscles. He reached out to you, eyes darting to the bird. You instantly understood and went to him, placing the bird carefully in his outstretched hand. He rose it to the nest and the bird jumped happily into its home. You smiled widely, happy that the animal could recover from its injury in its home from a little while. Perhaps you could bring it some food later. The man looked back to you, and you caught his eyes. Despite your smile, his face stayed stoic. Taking a step back, you allowed the man space to jump back down, landing elegantly before straightening back up. He towered over you, and you suddenly felt rather intimidated by his presence as your eyes fell to the red markings on his chest. Two clawed paws. Like a bears or wolfs. You opening your mouth, about thank him when you heard voices calling your name. Whipping to look over your shoulder to where the voices came from, you started to panic. If they found this man, he was dead. Looking back to him, you saw his eyes darting to the sound as well, his stance strong. In fact, you could see that he was growing more hostile with every call. “you need to go.” You whispered, drawing his attention back to you. But his eyes showed confused. He couldn’t understand you. You tried make a shooing motion with your hands, but he only grew more perplexed. Eventually, you were drawn to more drastic measures. You placed your hands on his bare chest and pushed him back behind the tree. He stumbled slightly, before his stance became really aggressive. But he was out of sight now. You backed off, pressing your fingers to your lips as you silently begged him to stay hidden. And just in time. “[y/n]!? Where have you been?” Thomas called out to you and you flashed the man a small smile before walking back to your items. “Frolicking through the flowers, are we?” Ben laughed but ti quickly stopped. “Whats that on your hand, lass?” Looking down, you saw some of the red paint from the stranger had rubbed off onto your hand. “Oh, I found an injured bird.” You wiped the evidence on your skirt as you gathered up your things. “We better get you back.” Thomas looked to the sky, the sun lower in the sky. “Okay. I’ll follow.” You nod, throwing your bag over your shoulder. The two men retreated back into the woods, you following behind. But not before you could steal a glance back to the tree, seeing the stranger watching. You smiled at him before turning back. You heard the men grumbling about having to dig for gold. You would certainly make sure Ratcliff had a piece of your mind if he thought for a second you’d be digging. however, the moment you got back, all hell broke loose. Guns were firing, and crys that there was savages. Ducking behind a waggon, you saw them firing at some people in the trees, and they hit one. That might have been the end of it, but then you saw the man from the forest. He scooped up his fallen alley and carried him back into the wood as they all retreated. Stuck in a conflict, you stayed hidden as you thought. You owed him something. Not your life, but he had saved you from a broken hip or a concussion. And you knew they probably wouldn’t be able to treat a gun wound. You thought of the man, suffering in agony before dying with no understanding of what had hit him. So you did the unthinkable. Racing into the woods, you followed them, until they reach a village. You almost collapse when you see the colony of small huts. The crew would slaughter them as sure as day. A deep sickness filed your stomach as you press your hand over your mouth. You took an oath to help people, not hurt them. Holding the strap of your bag, you take a shaking breath. You could very well be walking into certain death, but that man needed your help. Taking a deep breath, you circled the outside of the village until you saw them taking the injured man into a hut. That must be either his home, or a medical place. You would bet the latter. Slipping inside, the group were too preoccupied with the wounded man to notice someone who wasn’t like them had entered. You felt like you had just entered a sleeping lions den. So you cleared your throat. Like lions, they turned and bore weapons at you as if they were fangs. “No, I want to help.” You held your hands up to show you meant no harm, but the men couldn’t understand you. You looked around, trying to figure out a way to show them you wanted to help him. Pulling the bag open, you pulled out the bandage you had. Showing it to them that it wasn’t a weapon, you began to wrap it around your arm. “Help.” You repeated, pointing to the gunshot wound. Their eyes narrowed, but none protest as you moved closer to the injured as you unravel the bandage from your arm. You would need it. You inspected the gunshot wound. There was no way he could survive this without medical help. But you would need the take the bullet out, clean the wound and sew him shut. You didn’t notice the chief looking to the man you had met not an hour ago. There was a silent understanding between them to let you be unless you caused any issues. And the shaman had said he didn’t know how to heal such wounds. “I need to take the bullet out.” You spoke, knowing they couldn’t understand everything you said. You rummaged to the bottom of your bag and found the spare bullets that the men had dropped. Pulling them out, you showed the man you assumed to be the leader one of the bullets between your thumb and pointing finger. You then mimicked how the men held the guns and made a quiet gun shot noise before showing them the bullet flying to his wound. Eyes widened as they realises what you were saying. “We need to take it out.” You pull out your bullet remover. It was a relatively new invention in the medical word, only about 50 years old but it was a key part of your tool kit. But you didn’t know it they would understand that. Your eyes flickered to the head healer, who looked to chief. A breeze came through the tent, making you shudder while the small group closed their eyes for a brief moment. When the chief opened his eyes, he nodded to the head healer who looked back to you. “Save him.” He told you, making your eyes widen at his English. But you nodded, and got to work. They let you work without question but with watchful eyes. You warned it would hurt, and apologised. But the man gritted his teeth and managed to stay still. Bullets were kind of a speciality of yours. It wasn’t something you were proud of, but it was a fact. the bullet was out with 5 minutes. But that didn’t mean it was over just yet. You sewed up the wound, trying to make it as neat as you could. “You’re doing really well. Im nearly done, I promise.” You glance to the injured man, and you could see the relief in his eyes. “Why did you come?” Their leader asked you. “To help. Im a medic. I took a vow to heal people where I could.” You answer truthfully as you wipe away the blood from around the wound and placing a gauge over it. “Your people caused this.” The chiefs words made you flinch. “My people are ignorant and arrogant. I am not like them. I don’t want a war or anyone to get hurt.” You shook your head, feeling the guilt in your stomach. “Why?” he knelt next to you, his eyes watching your face closely. “All blood is red. Its my job to heal that.” You look at him, hoping he might understand your reasoning more than you did. “We cannot let you leave.” The chief stated as he stood, but you had prepared for this. “if you don’t, they will come to find me.” You answer, looking up at him. “Then how do we know we can trust you?” he asked, his chin rising as he spoke to look down at you. “You cant.” You answered honestly, your eyes dropping. “But I can trade you supplies. Like these. To help if you do get into fights. I don’t have much, but it will help you.” The chief regarded you for a moment, his mind thinking over your deal. “Are they dangerous?” The leader asked you as you focused than you needed to on tying the bandage. Pressing your lips together in a straight line, you nodded once. “Leave by night fall. Do not return.” He spoke with authority and you nodded, thankful he was allowing your freedom. “Thank you.” You bowed your head to him out of respect as you packed your things. “We will fight this enemy, but we cannot do it alone. Kocoum-“ the chief was answered as the stranger from earlier stood and followed him. “Send messengers to every village in our nation. We will call on our brothers to help us fight.” He walked out the door, the stranger from earlier at his side as he addressed his people. “These white men are dangerous. No one is to go near them.” You sat back on your heels, unsure what to think. Had you condemned your friends? But these people had a right to know, to protect themselves, didn’t they? You were conflicted, torn between the right thing to do. The lead healer hummed a little, regarding you. You held out a spare gauge and bandage to him, which he took along with a bottle of anti-septic. “Its incredible, how calm he was.” You look at the man, who lay with his eyes closed as if in a trance. “I will speak on your healing once it is done.” He muses, but his eyes danced with some amusement as you smiled at him. He pushed a bowl of water to you so you could wash the blood off your hands. Just as you were drying your hands, the stranger from earlier stepped back in. Kocoum. “I hope to meet you again, child. But not in such circumstances.” The healer smiled, nodding to you before he continued his chant from earlier, signalling it was your time to leave. Kocoum snuck you out the back, and guided you through the forest in silence. You followed without question, occasionally falling behind a little but always catching up until you saw the wooden logs being hauled up to build a fortress. Placing a hand on Kocoums arm, you stopped him. “You shouldn’t go any further.” You told him, your eyes screaming apologies to him as you stepped in front. “But im glad we met again, even if the circumstances were awful.” Kocoum nodded, and you were sure if he was agreeing with you or simply acknowledging your words. “Goodbye.” You step away from him, and he gives you a small bow, before he moves behind a tree, hiding. When you emerge, it feels like the entire crew fauns over you, worried. But Ratcliffe suddenly appears, parting the crew like a sea as he regards you. “Where did you run off to?” he asks, his voice not showing any concern for your wellbeing but probably for your lack of labour. “The guns and fighting scared me. I ran to the woods for cover and got lost.” You lied. “And did you… find anything?” Ratcliffe prys, leaning down as if to intimidate you but you stood your ground. “No.” You shook your head, not breaking under his pressure. he huffed, demanding everyone gets back to word before retreating to his quarters. As the crew disperses, you steal a glance to the woods, unable to see Kocoum anymore.

  -------------time skip ------------

You told yourself that you were just going to feed the bird. That’s the only reason you were going back to that clearing. But you weren’t. That man had plagued your sleep, and you wanted to see him again. walking through the forest, you wondered if you were lost, until the clearing came into view. Digging into your bag, you grabbed the paper bag of bread pieces and seeds you had managed to get your hands on. Walking up to the tree, the bird appeared on the lower branch that you could reach, apparently recognising you and tweeting happily. You took a palm full of the food and held it up to the creature, who happily jumped onto your wrist to peck at the food. “Thank you.” A voice spoke from behind you, making you jump. But when you saw it was Kocoum, you relaxed. You had never heard him speak before. “How is he doing?” You ask, going back to your task of feeding the bird. You could just leave the seeds on the branch, but you wanted to be doing something. “He grows stronger every day.” Kocoum informs you. “That’s good. I cant imagine the fear he must have felt.” You muse, as the bird jumps onto your fingers, hopping across your hand to stand on your palm to peak at the food. You were grateful because you could lower your arms, which were hurting a little. “Why did you follow?” Kocoum suddenly asked as you turned and sat at the bottom of the tree. In truth, you knew it was risky. Any instinct you had told you to run away, but you were so interested by him that all you really wanted to do was talk. “I already told you. I don’t like seeing others suffer.” You move the seeds into one hand, freeing your right hand. With the back of your pointing finger, you stroke the birds head, smiling. “Plus, I own you for saving me from a nasty fall.” He didn’t laugh with you, but you didn’t mind. You were a stranger to him, an enemy even. Kocoum stayed standing, but backed away so he wasn’t looming over you. It suddenly dawned on you that you knew his name, yet he didn’t know your own. “Im [y/n].” you suddenly say, wanting to right that wrong. “Kocoum.” He pressed a fist to his chest. “I know.” You smile, amused by the birds trust in you as you petted it. Looking up, you saw Kocoum was confused and, perhaps, suspicious. “I heard the others call you by that name.” Your explanation seemed to ease his suspicions, but not completely erase them. He sat with you for an hour or so, and you told him about your home. You didn’t want to ask about his own in case he thought you were going to relay information. When you noticed that your absents would soon be reported, you stood. Placing the bird back in the tree, you told Kocoum goodbye, but he followed you. At first, it made you a little uneasy, until you reached the edge of the forest and it dawned on you that he was making sure you got back safely. Before you could turn and thank him, he was gone. For the next few days, you found yourself running off to the clearing, and most times he was there. There was the occasion that he wasn’t, but he seemed to like your little meeting. You were both suspicious of each other, but it seemed to ease out as you both spoke. Well, you spoke and he listened. He would ask questions, and seemed interested in you, but didn’t seem like much of a talking. You joked about it, saying that it was fine because you could talk the ear off anyone, so you could easily make up for it. And, at the, he smiled. You nearly fainted. In the setting sun, in this beautiful clearing with this handsome man, he smiled at you. Your legs were jelly as you couldn’t help the blush that rose to your cheeks. “Your voice like bird song.” Kocoum’s words would be the death of you, you were sure of it. Now a blushing mess, stumbling over your words, you knew it was time to head home. He accompanied you as always, and yet he stayed a little close than normal. Just before you reached the outskirts, he grabbed your hand. “Stay safe.” He whispered, and you could see the corner in his eyes. “You too.” You returned the concern before the two of you parted.

-------time skip ----------

Whatever was going on with John, you were worried. Pacing by your tent, you wondered where he had ran off to at such an hour. He should know better than to do this. You didn’t want to confide in anyone in case they told Ratcliffs and he got angry. In fact, you hadn’t seen Thomas around either recently. Stopping, you glance around. Something felt off. Suddenly, the calmness of the night was broken by screams. Grabbing your medical bag, you followed the others. Thomas came running, crying out for help, that John had been attacked and taken. You rushed to calm him but the others got there first, demanding to know what happened. “I kill one of them.” Thomas whispered, swaying back and forth before dropping his gun. “You- you did what?!” You nearly shriek, but managed to keep it down as the men gathered weapons. “I shot one. They took John because I killed one of their own.” He scrunched his eyes up, but when he opened them again, you were gone. Running into the forest, you felt yourself trembling as you raced to the tribe, treason be damned. Maybe you could help, or exchange something for John. You didn’t know. “[y/n]!” A voice called out, making you nearly fall over as you stopped, heart beating so loud as you saw a woman running through the forest to you. She stopped when she saw you had noticed her. “Kekata told me to find you. He said… you could help Kocoum.” She seemed unsure as she spoke, her eyes darting around. “He- He was the one shot?” You whisper in disbelief. And she nods. You followed her as she raced back to the hut where you had went to heal the first man. Sneaking around the outside of the village, you both managed to slip inside without notice. Kekata sat by Kocoum side, who was still. You were praying he was asleep. Passing Nakoma, you raced to his side. “It isn’t as the first one was.” Kekata spoke to you quickly, and you could hear the worry in his voice. “No, its in a more dangerous area.” You nodded, confirming his worries. A hand was placed on your shoulder, making you turn to Kekata. “I wanted to give Kocoum a fighting chance. But I do not expect a miracle from you.” his words sunk in as he stood, preparing to leave. You didn’t know what was going on. What was going to happen. “I do not trust the white men. But I trust you. you might save one life, but I suspect blood will still fall at sunrise. Stay here. This is my safe haven for you, for what you have done for us. A debt repaid. Do not come out of this hut. Do you understand me?” Kekata spoke with such urgency and hints of aggression that all you could do was nod. “If he wakes, sound the horn.” Kekata draws your attention away from Kocoum to look the elder. He was standing at the entrance, gesturing to the corner. You didn’t follow his direction, instead noticing Nakoma, who seemed confused and almost fearful that Kekata was leaving you alone with an injured Kocoum. “But I do not know if it will stop the war.” War. The word hit you like a bolt of lightning as the realising dawned on you. You knew what would happen now, but you couldn’t think about it. You just had to focus on saving Kocoum as the two left the hut with no further words. Putting on your calm façade, you told yourself it was just another patient. Your hands shook a little more than normal, and you paused before you went near the wound. But once you got to work, you were immersed. All the items you had given them were laid out to your side, along with your own and 2 bowls of water. Time seemed to drag, and you felt sick, but you pushed through. You heard things happening outside the hut, the warriors marching to battle, but blocked it out until there was silence. Working by candle light, you blinked away an odd tear and focused. Maybe, if Kocoum did wake, you could spare John too. Then its not a life for a life. Shaking away the grim thoughts, you worked through till you heard the morning chirping of birds. It was still mostly dark out. Once you were finished, you sat back. The cloth you had been using to clean the wound was bloody, and you didn’t want to use it any more. Ripping a piece of your shirt, you knew it was freshly cleaned this evening. The first bowl of water was more blood than water now, so you moved on to the fresh bowl and used the rag to carry water and run it over the wound to clean it. You went to the water and wet another tore bit of your shirt before coming up and sitting beside his head to clean his brow. Your eyes darted to the paint on his chest, but you didn’t dare touch it. It wasn’t your place to remove that sort of thing. You didn’t speak, not needing to offer any comforting words to anyone, but the silence was near unbearable as you waited for something to happen. For war to break out? For Kocoum to wake? You really couldn’t put your finger on it. After what felt like a millennium, you noticed his eyes were moving behind his eyelids. You held your breath, your lips pressed together in a harsh line as you tried to keep yourself calm. However, the moment his eyes fluttered open, you broke. Tears of relief streamed down your cheeks as you pressed a hand over your mouth to hid your sobbing. The fear which had had your body in a tight grasp eased the moment he woke, and you had done so well keeping yourself calm while you had been alone that you were overwhelmed. His eyes found you, and he began to sit up, despite the pain he must be feeling. Leaning on his left elbow and forearm, he pushed himself up into a sitting position before you could even talk. “Don’t sit up, it will be painf-“ you couldn’t finish your sentence as a large hand slipped behind your neck and he drew you to his lips. The moment his warm lips met your own, you were a goner. The nurse had left you, replaced with the girl who was screaming with excitement as he kissed you. The kiss was intense, but controlled and carful, just like Kocoum. He controlled every aspect and, if you had been standing, your knees would have been weak. It was so perfect, like a dream which you wished to never wake from. Some part of you was convinced you had falling asleep by his side and you were dreaming all this. You reached up to his face, your fingers gently grazing across his cheek before mirroring his own hold on you by slipping your hand around the back of his head to just above the base of his neck. with your other hand, you gently wrap your hand around his wrist, your thumb pressing against the veins, feeling the pulse beneath the skin. A small shiver ran through your body as you moved closer, running your hand along his arm and to his chest. Pressing an open palm above his heart, you could feel the steady beat. Pulling back, you felt the air flood into your lungs and the tent suddenly seemed to much bigger and brighter. You couldn’t help the red in your cheeks, or the smile on your lips as you look at the man who had stolen your heart from the very moment he had caught you. Much to your surprise, you saw a smile tug at his lips, his eyes dancing with a joy you had never seen before. No one had ever looked at you like that. He looked so happy, so full of life. Suddenly, what was happened beyond the tent hit you like a wave as you jolted back. “We have to tell them you’re alive.” You suddenly say, and you see the happiness be replaced with concern and confusion. “They think you’re dead. They are going to kill John in revenge but Ratcliffes marching to war with them.” You began to panic again as you turn to where Kekata had pointed before he left. In the corner was a horn. Moving from his side, you grabbed the horn. Turning back to Kocoum, you knew you couldn’t ask him. He was already moving way too much and you were terrified his stitches wouldn’t hold. Getting to your feet, you went to the mouth of the hut and looked up at the blue sky, praying it wouldn’t see red today. Taking a deep breath, you raised the horn to your mouth and blew. The sound was deafening but you pushed through for a solid 10 seconds before lowering it. You didn’t know what it would do, or who could hear it. Perhaps you were too late. Some leaf’s rustled as a wind ran through them in your direction, but what you felt was not the wind you knew. It was a small gust, and it seemed to run up your body, winding around your legs and waist before passing your head and fleeing, taking leaf’s with it. You stared in the direction it had went, and something told you that there was still a chance. You jumped when you felt a hand on your lower back, turning to see Kocoum standing behind you. “We need to go to them. They will need proof.” As he spoke, you knew he was right. “But, you are still healing.” You press a hand to his chest, desperate to keep the heart beating within it. “I will have time to heal when this is done.” Kocoum spoke with conviction, but you pressed firmly on his chest. “No, you could undo your stitches.” You shook your head, until a small figure appeared from beside the hut. Your eyes darted to her, nearly jumping at her sudden appearance before you recognised her as the girl from the night before, Nakoma. She looked at Kocoum as if he were a ghost, a hand pressed over her mouth before she stepped forward. “I’ll go. I’ll tell them you are alive.” She nods firmly, before turning on her heel and running off towards wherever the battle was going to happen. Hopefully, the horn was enough to cause a moment of doubt, and Nakoma would be the voice of reason. Hopefully, it wasn’t too late. You pushed your worries to the back of your mind and turned to Kocoum. “You need to rest. Please.” You take his hands in your own and guide him back into the hut and towards the mat. Despite his protests, you helped him lie back down as you chested the stitches and saw they were fine. Although, even if everything did turn out okay, you were sure you would have a battle trying to keep him still to heal. There was not much else to do, but wait.

Within an hour, Nakoma ran back. By the look on her face, it wasn’t good news. You held your breath, waiting for her verdict. Thankfully, the sound of the horn had reached Pocahontas in the forest as she ran to save John. Apparently, this was the one John had been sneaking off to see. She had manged to stop everything, even speaking sense to her father before Nakoma had appeared, telling everyone that Kocoum was alive. But then she grabbed your wrist. “Your leader, a shot hit John. Hes bleeding.” As she spoke, you felt sick to your stomach. Another bullet. Grabbing your bag, you stuffed your medical supplies in. “I’ll go. Will you stay and make sure he doesn’t move? His stitches are fresh and it could do damage.” You didn’t wait for her to respond before taking off in the direction she had came. Something guided you through the woods, until you appeared at the bottom of a hill. You saw your crew on the other side at the bottom of a sheer drop, and Kocoums tribe were on the hill. There was relief on everyone’s face from your crew at your appearance. But you were worried. You had patched John up a fair few times. Your worries were that this time, you couldn’t. Climbing the hill, the tribe parted for you as you came to John. “Another bullet, eh?” you dropped to your knees beside him. he was lying with his head on Pocahontas lap as she soothed him. “Yep, I’ve heard you’re pretty familiar with them.” He tried to laugh, but winces, holding his side where the blood was. When you saw the position of the hole in his shirt, your heart sank. Pulling away the material, your greatest fears were confirmed. “John, the entrance wound is right on top of the scar from before.” Your voice shook and, for the first time since you arrived, you felt useless. “What does that mean?” Pocahontas asked, unsure why that was an issue. “It means I cant help him here. He needs to go back to England and get it surgically removed by a doctor. I don’t have the tools or the ingredients to do it here and I’m totally useless-“ Tears welled in your eyes as you were overcame with emotions. But John interrupted you. “Hey, hey, hey. From what I heard, you’ve been very useful. Theres only so many times a sailor can patch up his ship before he has to put it to specialists, eh? And this ships taken a few waves or two over the years.” He chuckles, wincing yet again. But he soothed you immensely. “I’ll get your bandaged up, give you some stuff for the pain. Im sure Thomas will be by your side the entire way home.” You smile, reassuring both him and yourself.

-----------time skip --------------

You stood by the sea, waiting as John asked. He said she would come say goodbye, and Kocoum had agreed the same. “So, let me get this straight.” You sat, crossed legged by Johns side. “Me and you, two people who get mistaken as a couple all the time, each started a relationship with two members of a tribe who were due to be wed?” “Yeah, funny how things work out, eh.” John smirked. “Look.” Thomas, who had been standing on watch, pointed to the mist that lay thick on the forest floor this morning. You couldn’t see anything at first, until there was the silhouette of not just Pocahontas and Kocoum (you were partly annoyed that he was walking so soon), but also of at least 8 others. The crew held their breath, clutching their guns, until it was revealed the others were carrying baskets of food for the journey home. You couldn’t help but smile at the gesture. As Pocahontas came to John, you stood. But Thomas met her, taking off his hat out of respect. “Going back is his only chance. He’ll die if he stays here.” Thomas spoke with her, and she placed a hand on his shoulder. You watched the two with such amazement and respect. Powhatan and Nakoma approached. Powhatan pulled off his shawl and lay it over John. “You are always welcome here. Both of you.” He looked to you as well, making you smile with gratefulness before turning to speak only to John. “Thank you, my brother.” He smiled down at John before retreating. John said farewell to the animals, he then turn to Pocahontas. He cupped her cheek in an intimate way. He asked her to come, and she refused because she was needed by her village. But when he offered to stay, she said he needed to go. Their love would be broken by distance, and as she leaned in and kissed him, you took your leave to go see Kocoum. “Stay.” He took your hands in his own, holding them tightly against his chest as if he never wanted to let them go. You couldn’t help but smile, but you faltered in answering. Was it selfish to stay? John was leaving Pocahontas, with an open invitation back. What if something happened on the way home and they needed a medic? Were you abandoning your promise by staying here? But you were staying as a healer as well, so did that balance everything? Your thoughts were interrupted when you felt a hand clapping your back. “Sorry to interrupt.” John called over to you. the smirk on his face was not one you trusted. “You know, [y/n], I think that we need a new nurse. One whos not going to run off and heal the enemy. Not that you’re the enemy now.” He quickly added to Kocoum. “No, I think that you should be somewhere that’s peaceful, somewhere that you cant run into trouble. Like, oh say I don’t know, here? Just something to think about.” If he hadn’t been shot, you might have kicked him. Had everyone been eavesdropping this whole time? Looking back to Kocoum, you couldn’t help but beam at him. “I think that means I can stay.” You nod, bouncing on the balls of your feet with excitement. Kocoum smiled, and you heard him let out a breath that he had been holding. Something small flutters to your side, and you turn your head to see an old friend. The bird, with the blue back, was hovering beside you, chipping before flying into the sky. Something told you that you would see the little guy again. You raced to say goodbye to the crew, and Thomas promised you that he would take care of John no matter what. You told him that you believed in him. John didn’t like long goodbyes, so gave you a handshake along with a smile. “I’ll see you soon, anyway.” You smile. “oh, I’ll be back as soon as I can stand.” He joked. “You know, I would roll my eyes, but Kocoum only got stiches a day ago, and he came to stay goodbye, so I have no doubt that you men are stupid enough to do that.” You returned, swatting his arm. But soon, it was time to part. The sadness you felt from seeing the ship sail into the distance was no unfelt, but as you felt the warmth of Kocoums body beside you, you couldn’t help but be excited for this next chapter of your life. You were welcomed in the village both as a healer and Kocoum’s wife, and quickly became known as the only one who could make the warrior smile.

[angeltrapz]

oosdkk dude im sorry ur mood dropped too.. i hope u feel better soon <3 but like i wld love 2 hear more abt ur thoughts on Art in general bc Boy Is He Interesting, and also a lil more abt Daniel coming out as nonbinary to his dad (whether he knows Eric is trans or not at that moment skjdfhdskf)! + if ur feelin it just more abt Mallick in general ESP cuz we agree that Brit doesn't make it thru V

djhfjdks thank u sm <3

okay Art first. I genuinely wonder abt him so much, something in specific I think abt is that aside frm Amanda (+ Eric, obviously, but talkin abt disciples) Art is one of the only trap victims EVER 2 be tested twice and it’s like... what’s that abt? Why? as u’ve said b4 it rly depends on how you personally view his character: whether he’s a disciple or not. fr me, both options are equally plausible, n honestly I don’t rly confine myself to either; it sorta depends on what I’m feeling/writing. if we’re talking abt art being a disciple, then the Spinecutter not going off (one of my BIGGEST questions) makes total sense, as Hoffman’s side of the trap was never set up to work either, + Jigsaw disciples have a history (aside from Lawrence) of appearing as victims in other tests/traps. if he were not just another pawn and was in fact a disciple himself, then the Spinecutter was never meant to go off - it was there just to make Eric think it COULD go off/make it look convincing to outsiders. which brings me to ANOTHER question: what does Art know abt Eric? does he know anything? what does he think of Eric?

(lil side note: if Art is a disciple, then I kinda wonder if it’s a lil bit of a Hoffman + Lawrence situation where Hoffman didn’t know abt Art either? just bc he looks so shocked when he sees Art’s face fully fr the first time... that could’ve just been acting on Hoffman’s part but IDK. food fr thought)

personally, I feel like Art probably does know a lil bit abt Eric - at the very least, he’d know tht Eric had been previously tested + failed by John’s rules, but then I feel that he wld also know Eric didn’t rly have a chance in his second test. that is why Art trying so fucking hard to keep Eric alive is interesting 2 me: what is his motivation 2 do that? like he’s been told Eric’s basically just there to get Rigg to participate, he doesn’t have any personal obligation or anything like that. sure, the aim is to keep Eric alive + see if Rigg can pass his “test,” but nobody said anything about grabbing a man you barely know around his ankles to keep him frm hanging himself w a noose made of chains. nobody said anything abt speaking to him so softly, not even raising your voice beyond saying “hey,” and asking him do you understand? when you tell him to keep still and prevent him frm killing his counterpart (which, if Art is a disciple, he knows it won’t, but he still speaks to Eric so softly, so compassionately, doesn’t he?)

nobody said anything abt grabbing him around the waist and steadying him again after being punched by said man. but Art does that. he stabilizes Eric’s feet on the ice as best he can and he keeps his hips straight and he basically says “look, we’re all stuck here, you need to keep it together ‘til that clock counts down if you want us to live, but I’m giving you a choice,” and he presses the gun w the single bullet into Eric’s hands and tells him it’s up to him. nobody said Art had to care but he does, I think, and it’s just like. he really didn’t have to keep Eric alive over the course of Rigg’s test. he didn’t. but he did and I just,, where does it come from? why does he care? this is even going beyond the fact that we’ve talked abt them being together after their test in a scenario where they both survive - I just think that Art at his core is a very stubborn but very compassionate person, whether he wants 2 be or not. like he HAS to know that kind of involvement cld prove to be extremely detrimental but he cares. I feel like that says a lot abt him (even if he does call Eric an asshole a couple times while doing it,,).

plus I also just. I think his reason for being tested (as it seems to be in most cases) is extremely flimsy. he was doing his job. he’s a LAWYER. often times it has nothing 2 do w personal feelings; they’re there to do their job and sometimes, unfortunately, that is defending possibly reprehensible people (in cases like Rex’s & Ivan’s). + John was already upset w him regarding their argument abt the urban renewal group so like it just feels So Very Petty, y’know?? even in the scenario where he IS a disciple, testing him twice seems entirely like John having a personal vendetta against him. Amanda is the only other person to be tested twice aside from Eric, so like. what. is that abt Mr. Kramer.

like I’ve said b4 in dms one could argue that Art is grey morally, bc we never rly see anything of him outside of flashbacks + acting as a test controller in IV, esp given that he... rly doesn’t seem too bothered abt it all? which is fair. but I also feel like the concern he shows towards Eric is smth to be considered as well.

-

+ YESS NONBINARY DANIEL I know I’ve mentioned it b4 but for reference, I read Daniel as masc nonbinary (he/they)! so I feel like Daniel wld b pretty comfortable w his identity, he’s never rly had a reason not to be (it’s rly anyone’s guess here tho bc we never see Eric + Daniel + Kate... as a family unit, for obvious reasons), so I feel like he’s vry chill abt it? and in the scenario where Eric survives n is dating Adam, I feel like Daniel wld talk 2 him abt it first (Adam is an adult they quickly come to trust + he’s vocal abt being trans himself so there’s that added layer of understanding - other than his mom maybe Adam might b the first person they come out 2). they’re just kinda like “so I wanna tell my dad I’m nonbinary but like I’ve literally never thought abt coming out what do I do” and Adam’s just like. Aha. bc he knows Eric is Also Trans so like, he doesn’t tell Daniel that bc it’s not his info to share, but he’s definitely like “oh it’ll totally be fine. trust me you have no reason to worry” so Daniel’s just like Okay. I Got This

+ I know I mentioned this in dms but Daniel wld absolutely wear those floral ripped hem skirts over jeans, so I feel like on one of his visits to his dad’s, he just. wears that combined w a completely random niche graphic tee he bought when shopping w Adam (I adore this hc n I am Holding Onto It) n is just like. not super open abt it bc he doesn’t know what to expect? he just kinda waits fr Eric to comment on it but when he doesn’t, Daniel gets nervous n is like “do I look okay?” and Eric’s rly chill abt it, like “yeah! it looks vry cool, vry alternative.” n like Daniel is relieved, of course, but also he’s just like God Pls Say Something so he just comes out w it like “okay this is not working. I’m nonbinary.”

and he’s COMPLETELY SHOCKED when Eric is just like “oh why didn’t u say so? do u have a different name u wanna go by? is Daniel still okay?” bc he wasn’t sure how much Eric knew, so he’s just like “uh no Daniel is still good, he/they pronouns though” and Eric’s just like alright cool but internally Daniel’s just like ??????

n THAT is when Eric asks him 2 come sit out on th front steps w him n is just like. “I don’t think I ever told u this but I’m trans. I transitioned during training in my early 20s” n Daniel is nodding while internally he’s like Adam I’m gonna throttle u. he worked himself up fr NOTHING. he just kinda laughs abt it and Eric is like “are u good?” ‘cause he’s a lil worried but then Daniel just smiles and is like “yeah I’m fine! just realizing I had nothing 2 be worried abt” and it’s a rly good moment fr them. they sit out there together talking abt their experiences for quite a while n at some point Adam steps outside 2 find them deep in conversation + he just smiles n goes back inside bc he cares abt them both so much and seeing them talk like that makes him so 💞💞 (Eric is SO PROUD u can see it on his face)

-

ohhh gosh Mallick,,, I spend a lot of time thinking abt him actually. he’s just one of those characters I feel vry connected to (me 🤝 Mallick: Ambiguous Disorder 💕) n one I got surprisingly attached to? hello (he IS one of my f/os)

I feel like Mallick is a very lonely person at his core. the way he sort of clings to Brit (w out the whole like. adrenaline of being in very very real danger w ppl trying to kill u SEVERAL TIMES) somewhat confirms this fr me. this is someone who has no reason to look out fr him, no reason to keep protecting him when their fellow captives hit him over th head w a club or attempt to push him into a bathtub to ELECTROCUTE him, but she keeps doing it and he’s just. in awe of it a little bit? ‘cause she could just let Charles knock him tf out or let Luba push him in but she fights for him, some1 she has no obligation to n met fr the first time literally when they woke up.

the moment they share b4 they stick their arms into the saws to activate the 10 Pints of Sacrifice is so very vulnerable and maybe even a little tender. yes he calls her a monster, yes she calls him one back, neither of them deny it. it’s an admission and an acceptance. they’re monsters, sure, fine, okay. but they are monsters and they are in this together. Brit tells Mallick it’s okay when he says he can’t do this alone. she says okay, okay, it’s okay, we’ll go together. and they help each other secure their tourniquets and they stick their hands in together bc it’s the two of them, literally hand in hand, fighting for their lives n for each other n they’re in so so much pain but they are doing it TOGETHER. I lose it thinking abt it!!! they even have a head bonk moment!!! I very much feel like it has some cinematic parallels to Adam & Lawrence’s moment in SAW 2004!!!!

+ as u mentioned, we both share the thought that Brit likely died since she wasn’t present at Bobby’s meetings, and. I want to touch on how fucking despondent and lost Mallick looks when we see him again in 3D. lights on but no one’s home. I feel like for Mallick, losing Brit was losing the first chance at a real connection he’s had in god knows how long - and for him, that’s just very shattering. he’s been thru hell, he’s watched three people die right in front of him, he sawed his ARM IN HALF, n the person he went through all of that with didn’t make it. but he did. and I feel like for Mallick that’s just like... he doesn’t understand it. but he feels even lonelier than he ever has b4 because the One Person who was there w him thru it all, the one person who could ever possibly understand what happened that night, is gone.

the Mallick we see in V would NEVER sit down n willingly listen to Bobby Dagen’s bullshit abt loving yr scars n taking pride in the fact u survived. he wld hate that man with a passion n I am very much sure of this. the fact that he’s sitting in that chair looking numb and glassy-eyed and silent? Mallick is trying to find some1 to connect to, find a place where maybe he belongs. trying to fill that hole that losing Brit made. why else wld he be sitting there, listening to someone he would ordinarily tell to shove his self-love bullshit up his ass? he’s lost. he’s just trying to keep his head above water and find a way to shore even though everything in him is fighting not to. he’s adrift without her.

+ ALTERNATIVELY, bc the reality of that is just. crushing n maybe not where I needed 2 go, in the scenario where Brit survived + just doesn’t want to put up w Bobby’s bullshit, I imagine them to actually move in together after a lil bit of time getting 2 know each other better w out the pressure of “oh god we’re gonna die.” she kinda helps him build up a sense of self-worth bc GOD it’s practically non-existent n thinking abt possible reasons why makes me sad. she’s definitely just like “no, you do deserve to be cared for and you deserve help when you need it, you deserve good things n to be happy.” she just kinds shuts it down while still making sure to talk 2 him abt WHY he feels that way (she’s not dismissing, but she’s trying to nip it in th bud) n Mallick is just like. huh. bc no one’s really done that fr him before. but it rly does end up helping in the long run, even if it is a very slow pace toward actually getting 2 a place where he recognizes his own worth + realizes he deserves all the things he wants Brit 2 have too. they’re there for each other thru thick n thin and if they made it thru their game, they can make it thru anything.

[1358456]

gah dayum... you ever feel like you're at a lost for words but you know that you have so much that needs to be said... no one... just me oh well because that's what im feeling right now because i literally shed tears of joy after discovering you were still alive!! happy to see u back, btw if u dont mind me asking what games have you've been playing recently? anyways since there's too much that needs to be said and not enough characters so im just gonna end it here by saying... "Live YOUR Life!!"

Aww, thank you so much! <3

In the past two months, I've been playing Red Dead Redemption 2 and XCOM 2. I never bothered with them when they first came out a LONG time ago, but I did play the first games, so I figured, why not, they're on sale (were).

RDR2... man, that game took a long time to finish. Loved it though. It was kind of annoying at times with how often I had to mash or hold the A button for a stupid amount of time. That really wears out the button on the cheaper controllers. And ahh, the epilogue. The peace, and happiness, and building the home and all that stuff, fully knowing that it all goes to hell in a few years in the first game. Hahaha... "How many times do I have to bury you, John Marston?" "Never! You're never burying me!"

XCOM 2... I remember not wanting to play it, since I played the first one, so I know that 85% chance to hit means that I'll miss three times in a row. It's like using Stone Edge or Rock Slide in Pokemon games. "Oh, Stone Edge. A powerful Rock type move that really complements with Earthquake, so I'll definitely use it, and... it never hits. Okay then, I'll use Rock Slide. Even if it's weaker, at least it's doing some damage. ... Okay, Rock Slide never hits either. Then back to Stone Edge because neither will ever hit anything anyways."

Anyways. XCOM 2 panned out the way I thought it would. Flanking an enemy, with the barrel of the gun practically touching him... and missed. And that kind of soldier is what I'm given? No wonder humanity was f*cked in that game. Do all my soldiers have the wall-eye syndrome, where their vision is like peering through the peephole on the doors? ... How do you miss turrets? They're literally stationary objects...

That said, I recently learned of an exploit that skips the enemy's turns. So... I definitely had to go through the game on the hardest difficulty setting to abuse the crap out of it. That said, certain enemies ignore that somehow, which was bullsh*t, but acceptable given what I was doing.

So anyways. That's what I've been playing recently.

[lyss-alane]

Just A Man

Word count: 2288

Summary: Dean isn't able to hide from the reader anymore. “Enemies” to lovers.

Pairing: Dean x reader

Warnings: ANGST, hurt Dean, self-loathing Dean, language, 18+, drinking, age gap, Season 14 spoilers!! 

A/N: I wrote this fic in one sitting, its literally my first fanfiction. Warning, probably cringe writing!!! but its okay because I plan to improve as I write more. Please be patient with my skills, but I do hope you enjoy :)

All mistakes are mine

This is a work of fiction, must be 18+ to read

Dean was in his room, looking through old pictures again. This is where he found himself the safest, in his home with what’s left of his family around him.

He was flipping through some old polaroids he found under the seat of baby along time ago. There were pictures of Sam as a baby, Dean as a kid. There was some of John and Mary together, laughing. His favorite was the one of Mary holding Sammy, she was smiling and her face was full of love.

He had newer ones too that he charished just the same. One of him and Sam outside of Bobby’s house, working on some old Truck. There was one of Bobby drinking a beer and reading a book on that old wornout sofa of his. And then there was one of her, sitting out side on the porch swing. She had a cup of coffee in her hand and her dog Kansas sitting next to her.

Her head was thrown back in laughter because of something Sam said while taking the picture. Those two were always close. Y/N lived at Bobby’s ever sense she was a little girl. She kept the old man alive, and she became extremely close to Sam, they were the same age and attended some of school together.

Holding the picture in his hand Dean found himself smiling again. He always did when looking at her. No matter how much the two fought or disagreed, Dean couldn’t help but love the girl.

Of course she’d never shown any interest in him. Dean was way to damaged to be blessed with someone as graceful as her. The two faught like cats and dogs, and he was pretty sure she hated his guts.

Y/N stuck around with the boys once Bobby died. She was more than grateful to move around with her best friend, but the eldest Winchester kept her on her toes. Everything the green eyed man did seemed to piss Y/N off. She cared deeply for him of course, but it seemed like no matter what she did it was never enough for him.

Whether is was messing up a hunt, not following orders, or something as simple as forgetting to buy his favorite shampoo when she was on a supply run. She quickly learned to keep her distance. Dean was hard on her, but Sam always said it was how he shows he cared.

They were aquantances, not friends.

That was until last week,

Mary died.

She died tragically, everyone who knew her was hurting, but Dean was down right scary. It scared Y/N to see him like this.

Beilive it or not she knew the man inside and out, she knew how good his heart was and all the horrible shit he went through. She loved him, she always had. He was difficult and grouchy most of the time but she loved him all the more.

She knew Mary’s death hit him harder than anything had before, of course it did, she was his mother.

She decided she was going to make dinner for the boys, they hadn’t had much time to do anything lately with everything going on and a home cooked meal could never hurt.

Dean of course didn’t come out if his room to eat.

Y/n knew he needed time, but lately all he did was stay in that room drinking himself to death. She didn’t want to overstep, but seeing him like this hurt. The last time he acted this way was when they lost bobby, and those memories were something y/n couldn’t think about.

“you think he’s going to be okay?” She asked Sam, biting on her nail.

She was putting a plate of food together to bring to Dean, she normally didn’t show so much care for the man, but lately all she could do was worry. Worry and help out how ever possible.

She never let herself get close to Dean, she already had feeling for the guy and they were hardly even friends. She tried to keep as much distance as she could, but right now she knew the boys needed her, and she wanted to do as much as she could to help.

“ to be honest, I don’t know.” Sam said. His face looked exhausted and his shoulders were slauched. He was picking at the food on his plate.

She hated seeing her friend this way. The Winchester were the strongest people she knew and right now it seemed as if they were breaking.

“ well, he’s gotta eat something” she said, grabbing a water from the fridge and the plate she had made for him. “and so do you ”. She said passing Sam and placing a small kiss on his head.

She hated how much it bothered her to see Dean like this. It literally made her stomach hurt, she was worrying so much. He was never good at talking about his feeling, and Y/N was used to that, but when he shut down completely that scared her the most.

“Dean” she knocked softly on his door “ I brought food”

He was passed out with a beer in his hand, face laying flat on his desk. His head felt like it was going to explode if he opened his eyes but he heard someone’s voice, it sounded soft and quit.

“Dean”

He slowly picked his head up off the table and whipped his face in his hands. He looked like he’d been sleeping for days.

He turned around to find the voice and saw Y/N peaking her head in the door. Her beautiful features fixed with concern. Dean just wanted to kiss the worry from her face, whisper everything she ever wanted to hear.

“ Dean, can I come in” she said.

Of course he couldn’t tell her no, the man could never tell her no. Eventhough he felt like he was dying on the inside right now and looked no better on the outside, just seeing her made him smile. 

“Okay” was all he could say, he hated himself for being so weak, for trying so hard to keep her at a distance but right now he could feel his resolve falter.

“ I made you food, you should eat” she said softly, slowly making her way towards him.

His eyes were on her, but it seemed as if he was looking through her. They were puffy and red around the rims. She immediately felt like she was overstepping, but there was no way in hell she was leaving him like this.

She was close enough to him now to smell the stinch of alcohol coming from his every pore. Her stomach was In knots and she felt like she could cry seeing him this way.

“Please eat” she said

“M’not hungry” he slurred.

She slowly made her way towards his desk and put the food next to him despite his protest.

“De-“

“ I said, m’not hungry” he said roughly, pushing the plate away from him

Great, now he was drunk and pissed.

He was stairing down at his lap now, his shoulders slumped in defeat she could have sworn she saw them.. trembling?

Was he crying?

She immediately froze, not knowing what to do. Dean Winchester was crying, he was drunk off his ass, he looked like a broken man and all she wanted to do was pick him up and make him feel whole again.

“De?” She said.

She gently placed her shaking hand on his shoulder and waited for him to react.

His body quickly jerked when he felt her soft touch. He felt like he couldn’t breath or move, he wanted to talk, to scream at her, to jump up and embrace her, to beg her not to leave him. He couldn’t lose her too, but he did just the opposite, he couldn’t help himself.

“ just go, please” he said, softly at first.

It was as if his mind couldn’t catch up with his body, he just sat there and cried, wanting desperately for her to save him, but he’d never admit he needed saving. 

The two hardly talk, they practically ovoides each other everyday, so why did he feel like she was his life line? He’s always felt this pull towards her, one he could never escape, but he sure as hell tried.

He was hard on the girl, but only because he needed her to be the best she could be. He was in love with her, ever sense he turned twenty one  years old. They were drinking outside in the middle of Bobby’s old junkyard, he had snuk her and Sam some beer.

She was the only person to give him a gift that birthday. A kiss. Small and gentle, it wasn’t even on the lips but it was still a gift, one that he held onto forever. He told her everything that night. How much Sammy had hurt him after leaving for college, how much he resented for being so obsessed. He even told her about his mom, about Hey Jude and how she would cut the crust off his sandwiches. And he fell for her, hard and fast, and it scared him shitless. 

So he pushed her away, he fucked everyone in sight and he made her crazy ever chance he got, because she was only going to leave too right ? 

but here she was, waiting on him, keeping him alive everyday by just being there, and it made him so angry, because he knew no matter how hard he tried the girl would never leave his mind. she had his heart wrapped around her finger and she didn’t even know it. He was so fresturated, so mad at himself he couldn’t help but take it out on her.

“ hey I’m here” she said

She slowly brought her hands to wrap around his shoulder, only for him to roughly push off.

“ cab you just leave me the fuck alone.” he groaned, quickly standing up from the chair.

“ why the hell are you here Y/N” he yelled, pointing his finger at her “ what makes you think I want to talk to you, out of all people right now”

His voice was shaking, he put his hands In his hair pulling roughly at it. She just stood there, her mouth quivering. She could see his eyes were red and puffy, his jaw was clenched and fresh tears were making their way down his cheeks. She knew he probably didn’t want to talk to her, but what was she suppose to do, let him slowly drift away one by one. She loved him and even though he was a hard ass, she knew he was a good man.

“ God Y/N” he said, burring his face in his hands “ why are you here, why haven’t you left” voice barely above a whisper.

She had tears running down her face now, he really hated her this much? Her body didn’t want to move from him, but she managed to force her self towards the door.

“I-im sorry Dean” she said shaking.

His head quickly snapped up to look at her, like he could hear her broken heart in her voice. His face immediately softened once he saw the hurt in her eyes. Her once hopeful eyes now sheed with tears.

“ No, you don’t understand” he said sighing, like he couldn’t express how he was feeling. “ I treat you like shit everyday, I- I push you away, God I hate myself for it.” He said clenching his jaw.

“WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE, why haven’t you ran away yet Y/N. you’re nothing but good to me and I return the favor by-by hurting you?” He let out a sarcastic laugh “ I hate myself everyday for the way I treat you Y/N” his voice was shaky now, his body was stiff and it looked like it was hard from him to breath.

“ I’m sorry, I'm sorry I push you away, I'm sorry I beat you down everyday ” he said looking down at his lap. Letting out a shaky breath. “ I care for you so much Y/N and... it scares me sweetheart”

She knew now, she understood everything now. Deep down she always knew, he was scared, scared to be close to someone again, scared to lose another friend. She knew Dean Winchester and she knew he was a good man, an amazing man, but he was still just a man. There’s only so much hurt, so much betrayal one man can go through before they break. She just hopes she can put him back together.

She slowly made her way towards him, gently putting her hand on his face. He pushed his face towards her, finally feeling her touch actually brought him to tears. He knew there was no stopping himself now.

She slowly made her way into his lap, wrapping two small arms around his neck and letting his head fall into her shoulder. She held him as tight as she could, and could feel his body starting to relax.

Embracing each other without saying a word. His arms found their way tightly around her, securing her in place as if silently telling her to never leave him, that he needs this, that he needs her.

“I’m here” she said, her voice shaking but her grip around him staying strong.

He let out the strained breath he’d been holding in, his shoulders falling in defeat. He couldn’t help himself but to fall apart in her arms, it was home. The only place he felt safe and secure enough to truly be venerable. 

“You don't have t’ do this” he whispered, he couldn't comprehend why she was so nice to him, after everything. 

He slowly lifted his head to rest his forehead on hers. He needed her to know how sorry he was, to know how much she meant to him. He cautiously put his lips on hers, waiting for her to back away, to yell or call him stupid.

But here she was, crushing her lips against his, kissing him like she needed air and he was her breath. Holding him together, the most selfless woman.

And he felt like a shell of a man without her arms around him.

He knew then

She was his home and he could no longer run away.

***

YES I KNOW VERY CLICHÉ!! Im trying to improve everyday 😬😬😬

I would like to tag some amazing writers who inspire me everyday, I wouldn’t be into fanfiction if it wasn’t for some of them.

Some I talk to, and some I do not but nonetheless I can only wish one day too be as amazing and talented as they are!

So thanks to them for giving me some inspiration!!!

@jay-and-dean @sunlightdances @roonyxx @writingkeepsmewhole @jawritter @talesmaniac89 @hardcoresupernatural @laphirablack @crossbowking @ne-gans

[pansunset]

okay time for a theatre hot take about historical musicals. im gonna split this into two posts, one about hamilton and one about six. because while the easiest way to put it is “hamilton bad six good”, there’s a bit more nuance to my opinion on them both than that.

First off, all the cast members are insanely talented, especially Leslie Odom Jr, Daveed Diggs, Christopher Jackson, Phillipa Soo, and Reneé Elise Goldberry. Even though the people they played were varying degrees of assholes, they managed to make them feel compelling. Credit where its due.

anyway, lmm is a good songwriter, the issues with hamilton come from the glorification of the historical figures portrayed. if hamilton was more critical of these individuals, it might not have been such a... yeah.

the hardest hitting songs are the songs that delve into the personal lives of the individuals rather than politics. Satisfied, Wait for It, Helpless, Burn, Dear Theodosia, It’s Quiet Uptown... these are all incredibly emotional and raw. Aaron Burr was a fascinating individual and all of his songs reflect this, honestly. IRL, Burr was actually one of the least scummy of the cast, though because he wasn’t very fond of Hamilton, he is villanized. unsexy. Leslie Odom Jr. has such a powerful voice and does an incredible job as Burr.

some of the songs about the war are also decent works. Stay Alive talks about the actual conditions the American militia put themselves through, and The World Turned Upside Down, while it’s a very patriotic (ew) pov, is still a well written victory anthem. the most interesting one is History Has It’s Eyes on You, and having Washington sing it was a great choice. it’s one of the few songs where a founding father is looked at critically for their failings, and said founding father point blank says that those who come next will judge whatever you do. Christopher Jackson is an amazing vocalist and he actually has talked about his struggle to play Washington despite Washington being a dick.

the songs about politics tend to fall flat because they oversimplify the actual views of the main character and paint everyone around him as either a villain or ally based on whether they liked Hamilton. the cabinet battles especially are pretty cringe. there are a couple exceptions that I’ll discuss in a moment, but first, a character analysis tangent.

Thomas Jefferson is... an interesting case. Irl, the man was a disaster of a person. He came down with migraines from talking to women, was generally considered a weirdo, and was the original “rich person who buys expensive versions of the ugliest clothes and acts like he’s presentable”. Yet aside from one line in It Must Be Nice, he’s portrayed as a extravagant, dramatic, yet mildly charming asshole. His costume is bright purple, he carries a fancy cane. Like, ignoring the fact that its inappropriate to ever make Thomas Jefferson seem charming, this isn’t even accurate to who he was as a person. He was less sociable than Isaac Newton for fucks sake. The only accurate thing is being a france weeb and being a worse debater than Hamilton.

Anyway, speaking of It Must Be Nice, its one of the few good political songs. It’s critical of Hamilton and it explains why the Madison and Jefferson hate his guts (though for stupid reasons). Furthermore, it also explains the political climate of the day better than other political songs in the musical. The other two good ones are, of course, The Room Where it Happens and Your Obedient Servant.

The Room Where It Happens is not only an amazing breaking point for Burr to stop waiting around, it’s the one time in the musical where the real Alexander Hamilton is best represented. (Hamilton in yellow, Burr in blue)

“Or did you know even then it doesn't matter where you put the U.S. capital?

Cause we'll have the banks, we're in the same spot

You got more than you gave

And I wanted what I got

When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game

But you don't get a win unless you play in the game

Oh, you get love for it, you get hate for it

But you get nothing if you wait for it

God help and forgive me

I wanna build something that's gonna outlive me.”

This is the real Hamilton. The facade of caring about ideals is gone, and the truth is bared; Alexander Hamilton was a smooth talker who only did things when he saw it could benefit him in some way. The man was obsessed with his legacy, and anything that got in the way of him building one was just collateral. Yes he was crass and loud, but guess what? That usually meant he was heard over everyone else. Burr only just realized that the whole “scrappy underdog” act was just that; an act

Your Obedient Servant is Burr calling out Hamilton for going back on everything he claimed to believe just to keep Burr from the nomination. Fun fact: the 1800 election was not a landslide victory. It was incredibly close. Hamilton’s endorsement was probably what kept it from being a tie.

Hamilton tries to defend himself by projecting his flaws onto Burr. “I am not the reason no one trusts you, no one knows what you believe” isn’t an accurate depiction of Burr in the slightest. Burr actually quite enjoyed politics and debates, and none of his setbacks ever kept him down for long. He cared very little for what his contemporaries thought of him though: He relied on the merits of his points. A lot of his correspondence was left to his daughter, Theodosia, and was lost on the shipwreck that killed her, so theres a lot we don’t know about him. But the musical depiction of him is not really accurate.

The problem with Hamilton isnt that it’s a musical about the founding fathers. Its that it grossly misrepresents those founding fathers. It never considers the thoughts of the slaves of any of the main characters. It never considers the Native American perspective on the Revolutionary War. It mocks John Adams, despite him being one of the few founding fathers who not only didn’t own slaves, but publicly berated his contemporaries for relying on slavery. It does a great deal of injustice to Burr. It woobifies the Schylers. For fucks sake, it forgot Benedict Arnold. Ya know, one of the most famous spies? Who almost cost America the War?

Its impact on modern political discussion and internet culture is also kind of a net negative, save for the production “The Haunting of LMM”. Its status as a fucking joke these days is earned. Though it has some good songs, and the fact that it got an official recording means good things for the future of Broadway accessibility, it’s a hot mess and is an example of how not to do a historical musical.

[multi-fandom-imagine]

I’m so sorry || Daniel ||

dartlovingbre asked: Just came up with another request if you are okay with doing it. Takes place when Andrew and Daniel meet Abraham and the reader is there and she reveals that Carver is the evil instead of Andrew saying it and Daniel gets angry. When the group hear what happened they get angry at her and yell at her, causing her to run off, and when Daniel remembers the bible with the scribbles in it, he tells the others Y/N was right, they feel guilty for how they treated her and they go to find her and maybe they find her severely injured maybe falling into a ditch near the road and when she wakes up they apologize to her.

A/n: I just love all of the boy’s and Taylor. Like I like Angela but it took so long for her to be likable when everyone else is already likable.

Pairing: Reader x Daniel \\ Hinted Andrew x Reader.

Warnings: Blood, injury, swearing

Everything happened so fast, one moment you, Daniel and Andrew were looking over a few things in one of the old houses. The next you three got pulled into the past. It was eerie staring into the face of a man that looked so much like your best friend. Your stomach was in knots, the look a like was talking about that he was going to have to speak to the judge about the little girl.

It did not make sense, how could all of this be put on one little girl. But that’s when it hit you. What the Priest said to her, the things he whispered to her. This just could not be her, she was being infused. 

“Wait...you can’t just put all of this on her...it’s the priest that’s the one that’s driving it.” You stated stepping close to the look alike. Andrew looked relived, that he was not the only one who thought so though Daniel, now that was another story.

“Hold on Y/n! That’s way off. We gotta stop the kid.” Daniel snapped. Trying not to flinch at his voice you wanted to hear what Andrew’s Doppelganger had to say.

“Reverend Carver is a man guided by god.” 

Then everything went back to normal, it was still dark out and the firefly’s dancing in front of the door. Though one thing was for certain, Daniel was pissed.

“Bad move y/n....sticking up for the kid is probably gonna do us all in.”

Shaking his head, Andrew stepped forward, his body shielding you from Daniel. “Maybe so, but I think y/n made the right call...though I hope your’e wrong...for all our sake.”

Your mind was spinning, you didn’t even register the other three walking over. Daniel telling them what you did, the whispers turned into yells as Andrew did his best to calm everyone down but soon they were yelling at you.

“What the fuck y/n! Now we’re dead because of you!.”

“You think someone who’s going for their bachelor’s degree you’d be smart enough to not mess everything up.”

“I thought we had something special y/n, though whats the point of having this relationship when we’re going to die anyway.”

“Y/n! this is bad....very bad! You should have told him that the little girl was to blame!”

Pushing back the tears that threatened to fall, your fingers tightened around your flashlight. “It didn’t feel right to condemn a child! I’m sorry that I’m not some monster.”

“Y/n!” Andrew stepped closer to you.

“But apparently you all think I am!” Rubbing your eyes you took a few step back before taking off into the fog, the dim light from your flashlight fading away as the others screamed your name.

Gritting his teeth Andrew took another step forward before he spun around giving the group a harsh glare. “What the hell is wrong with you people! we just got everyone back and now Y/n is gone...and for what! for telling my look alike that the priest is the one pulling the strings! Now she’s gone....I mean what if something happens to her.” 

Daniel could already feel the guilt eat away at him, he did not mean to snap at you. To take out his anger on you but he was scared, he nearly lost you in that bus crash. He had to watch your doppelganger self get burned alive so that just added to the list of his worries. What if you were wrong? what if that thing came after you and now they couldn’t stop it...but then again...what if he was wrong and now you were in more danger because he had to open his mouth.

Digging his nails into his palm, what Andrew said really hit him and now your words were ringing in his head were starting to make more and more sense. “Y/n...I..I think she was right.” Frowning, Daniel shifted his body ignoring the eyes on him. “Back at the museum...I found that Carver guy’s bible and it had a bunch of weird symbols drawn all over it and they...well now that I have a clearer head...they looked more satanic.”

Taylor frowned, already regretting what she said to you. “So are you saying...that its our fault if anything happens to her.”

“We need to find her.” Abigail states. “Who know’s what could happen, it’s really dark and the roads.”

“They’re not safe.” John states though Andrew let out a sigh of relief as he started to walk off. 

“Well what are we waiting for....let’s go.”

Catching up to Andrew that was leading the group he did not know why he hated the thought of you and Andrew being close.

“So and you and y/n...are you a...thing?” Daniel bit his lip, he didn’t mean to sound so rude. 

“Are you high, or did that blow to the head knock some sense out of you.” Andrew snorted. “She’s like a sister to me, besides y/n likes you idiot but I’m sure you blew your chances.” he muttered as the others called out your name.

You never meant to run off on your own, but you were hurt by the things they said...by what Daniel said. How could they have been so cruel? Wasn’t it obvious that it was Carver who was the problem. Sniffling, you wiped more tears away from you eyes.

“Stupid jerks” You whispered though walking your foot got caught in a hole due to a missing chunk of asphalt. Dropping the flashlight your held your hand out to break your fall but that did nothing. Scraping your hands, you could feel your pants getting ripped in the process as you continued to fall. Your body seeming to hit every rock as you rolled down the hill.

Letting out a cry, you finally came to a stop.Blood oozing out from all the new cuts on your body, red now mixing in the dirty water you were lying in. You were sure your arm was broken but everything hurt. You could feel your conciseness fade in and out.

Was your name being called? 

Looking up one last time you could sworn something passed in your vision before you blacked out.

“Y/n! come out now!” Daniel ignored how panicked his voiced sounded, how scared he was. “Come on....this isn’t funny.”

Taylor sucked in some air as she rushed forward, her hands grasping a broken flashlight. “It’s y/n...what if.”

Andrew shook his head as his eyes glanced around. “Don’t think like that! she could be around here somewhere.”

Daniel swallowed thickly, he hoped so but that’s when he saw it. Something or someone rushing by then a flash of light. Something was glinting in to moonlight. Panic rising in his chest he quickly made his way down the ditch and that’s when he saw you.

You looked so broken, dead. This couldn’t be happening, you couldn’t be dead...not when he never got the chance to tell your how he felt.

“Y/n...come on....this isn’t funny...open your eyes.” He was scared to even touch you but that’s when he saw it. Your chest rising and falling, that put him  a little at ease though he was not going to feel better until he got you to a hospital.

Daniel did his best to ignore the others, they did not matter right now you did. Gritting his teeth he slowly let his arms wrap around your body as you let out a pained whimper. Looking over at the group he did his best to hold you gently as he could with out causing you anymore pain.

It felt like hours getting to some burnt down house, those things chasing after them did not help at all. Still holding onto you he watched as Andrew and Taylor make their way up to the second floor. Feeling himself nod off the young man did his best to stay awake.

It felt like hours ticked by though he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief as the sun came up and whatever that was chasing after them was gone according to Andrew.

You both were right and thanks to your help along with Andrew’s the rightful person was persecuted. The whole group left the house, you were still unconscious in his arms by the time they got to that diner though you finally woke up when you were placed in the ambulance.

“Daniel?”

Biting your lip his hand clutched yours gently. “I’m here y/n...and..Im sorry for being such an idiot...all are and I.” closing his eyes, he slipped into the ambulance after a talk from John. “And I wanted to tell you...that I love you.” He blurted out.

Letting out a laugh, you winced as the EMT’s spoke to you. “Isn’t that funny...I love you too and...I’m sorry for running off.” Closing your eyes you could feel the anaesthetic taking it’s effect. 

Sighing his finger ran over the back of your palm. “You have nothing to apologize for Y/n...I’m the one that messed up but I’m going to make it up to you...I promise.” Leaning over you he pressed a small kiss to the top of your head.

After the hell you went through, he was going to make sure everything is going to be better here on out.

[5289belle]

Captain America’s Legacy

Summary: When Katerina Rogers watches as the flags smashers cause further mayhem, she knows she needs to come out of hiding and go help Sam and Bucky take them down, all while dealing with the fact that the United States government replaced her dad with some idiot as Captain America.

Meet Katerina (Katy) Rogers, the daughter of Natasha and Steve. Will take place during the falcon and the winter solider with some flashbacks to black widow and civil war. Also Tony is alive in this timeline, Steve did that snap instead, Natasha still died getting the soul stone.

Chapter One Captain Americas Legacy 

Sitting on the bed in her hotel room in Paris, Katy looked up to the tv and watched as Sam Wilson gave away her dad’s legacy to some museum. How could he when her father had chosen him to replace him while he lay there dying, anger and grief swelled up in her as she angerly switched off the tv.

It had been six months since she lost both of her parents within hours of each other and it hadn’t gotten any easier, she was all alone with her grief. Wanda was off somewhere trying to get through her own trauma and grief, Clint was taking time to be with his family again, thinking of him getting to be with them again made it easier to handle her mama’s sacrifice. It hurt too much to be around her mama’s family, they all reminded her too much of her mama. Tossing and turning in bed she found it difficult to sleep when she knew what awaited once she did manage to go unconscious for a few tortured hours.

Sometime around six and five am she managed to fall into a semiconscious slumber, until her alarm went of at noon. Rolling over to turn it off and turn back into her pillow to get a little bit more rest. Soon she would have to get up and leave. Never stay in one place too long, that was her motto, the constant moving helped to keep her mind distracted.

About two weeks later she was strolling through the streets of London when she spotted the news paper stand. On the front cover it read “Cap is Back” below it described how John Walker was the new Captain America. Unable to read anymore she back away and ran back to her hotel room. Flipping on the tv to try and forget what she had just seen, she looked up to see the man in question having a interview on Good Morning America. She felt sick to her stomach, scoffing she sat down to see just who this Walker guy was.

“It’s the greatest honor of my life um, but I I’m just a little shocked how’d a guy like me end up here?”

Ugg, his obvious self-depreciation was revolting, as if. She could tell he was trying to hard to emulate that humble hero, trying to emulate her dad. After watching a few more minutes to get a better understanding she decided she had enough and flipped the channel. In its stead a news report about the flag smashers was playing.

Apparently they were escalating and even caused a panic and injuries at a robbery. Watching the news footage, she noticed that one of the masked smashers had apparent super strength. That was news to her, to her knowledge the only ones with the super soldier serum that was still alive was, her dedushka(grandpa), all the former black widows had a form of the serum including Yelena and her babushka(grandma), Bucky, and herself. Though her was from her parents passing on their enhanced genetic codes.

Letting out a breath she didn’t realize she had been holding in, she looked down to her hands. This whole situation was getting out of hand and obviously the GNC couldn’t handle. She knew she couldn’t hide out anymore, not when people were getting hurt. It was time to go back home and follow in her parents’ footsteps.

Two hours later she was on a plane, heading back to the states.

Hopping out of her uber she thanked the driver and closed the door. Now she only had to find Sam and get to the bottom of the situation. According to his phone he shouldn’t be too far off. Not too far up ahead she spotted him with Bucky, having one of their usual banters no doubt. Though the closer she got to them she noticed Bucky a bit more. He had cut his hair, and hot damn if it did not suit him. “Fuck me” she muttered to herself before noticing and blushing.

You have got to be kidding me when did she find herself thirsting after him. Okay be cool she thought to herself, but damn he really was hot.

“Well I don’t trust redwing” Bucky said to Sam and he followed after him.

“You don’t have to trust redwing, but I’m gonna go see if he’s right. Because I have a feeling they might be part of the big three.” Sam replied back slightly annoyed by the other man.

Hold up, the big three? What the hell is that? Apparently Bucky didn’t know either because he asked Sam “What big three?”

Looking at him incredulously he replied “ the big three, androids, aliens, and wizards”

Shaking his head Bucky said “that’s not a thing’

“Since when has that been a thing?” Katy interrupted with genuine interest.

Both men looked over in shock, they hadn’t expected to see her. Not after she took after and disappeared.

Bucky did a double glance real quick, she seemed different somehow.

“Where have you been all this time? We looked everywhere for you.” Sam said with a worried expression. Giving them a tight-lipped smile, she looked away towards the skyline and then turned back to them. “Oh, you know, touring Europe.” Grimacing she continued “ I just, couldn’t face it. It was easier to disappear, but when I noticed all the trouble the flag smashers were causing and the GNC inability to do anything, I decided it was time to come back.”

“Are you doing any better?” Sam asked. “Of course, others wise I wouldn’t be here. Any way what the hell is the big three? I’ve never heard of that..”

Rolling his eyes Sam, looked to Bucky and then back to Katy. “ You know the big three, anytime we fight anyone it one of those three.”

“So who are you fighting now? Gandalf?” Bucky replied back sarcastically.

Taking a moment to register what he said Sam responded back incredulously “ uhh, how do you know about Gandalf?”

“ I read the hobbit, in 1937 when it first came out”

“So you see my point”

“oh, I love the hobbit. I read it back in fifth grade” Katy said to aloud, glancing at the both of them she was surprised to see they looked shocked at her admission. “What, it’s a good book.”

Looking back to Sam Bucky replied “No I don’t, there are no wizards”

“Doctor Strange” Sam said to which Bucky quickly replied “Is a sorcerer”

“ahh, ha ha. A sorcerer is a wizard without the pointy hat.” Sam said smiling in triumph.

“No, a wizard does magic with a wand or stick, a sorcerer used their hands” Katy interview with her commentary.

“Same difference” Sam looked over to her.

“Any ways’ he went on “they use brute strength, just like you guys and are incredibly annoying like the guy in front of me with a staring problem” With that he walked away to the plane with Katy and Bucky hot on his heels.

“I’m coming with you” Bucky and Katy said in unison to Sam.

“No you’re not”

“Uh, yeah we are. I’m not just going to sit back while I could be doing something to help people. Okay so I am going with you rather you like it or not. She said with a snarky tone, looking for Bucky to back her up. He merely nodded to her and followed Sam into the plane.

“Fine you and Cyborg can come with, just don’t annoy me” Rolling his eyes Sam couldn’t help but think how much she reminded him of Steve, always sure of what they were doing.

A few hours later sitting on the plane Bucky and Sam were having some kind of stare off. Looking between the two of them she couldn’t believe it. Seriously they were to grown ass men behaving like teenagers, her partners on this mission. Joy. Standing Bucky asked, “So what’s our plan?” Sam merely looked over to him and went back to putting in his earpiece and handing one over to her.

“Great, so no plan” Bucky said while sitting back down.

Torres interrupted with “Thirty seconds”

“Enjoy your ride Buck and Kat”

“Nah you can’t call me that”

“Why not, that’s what Steve called you”, shooting back Bucky said “Steve knew me longer, and Steve had a plan”

“Fifteen seconds to drop”

“I have a plan”

“Really? What is it?” he said while spreading his arms out walking toward Sam and Torres. Following after them Katy, stepped closer to Bucky.

Sam just jumped out the window, rather than replying back and dealing with those two.

Looking over to Torres Bucky asked “Great, where is the chute?”

“Were 200 hundred feet. It’s too low for a chute”

Huffing, Katy looked to Torres and asked, “Do you have some rope?”

“I don’t need it anyway” Bucky said while walking over to the open doorway and ripping off his sleeve with the metal arm.

“Yes we have some rope, why exactly” Torres questioned, looking over at Katy.

“Perfect, I can use that to jump out. Thank you”

Looking back to Bucky he replied, “You sure about that?”

“Yeah”, with that he jumped straight out.

Walking back over with the rope he handed it to her and watched as she wrapped it around herself and then to the plane, “have a nice flight” Without she dove right out of the plane and did a flip while holding out to the rope and scaling down to the ground. After fifteen seconds she let go and free fell another fifty feet before lading and doing her iconic superhero pose.

Looking over a few dozen feet, she noticed Bucky laying on the ground trying to catch his breath. Letting out a chuckle and smiling she walked over to him to make sure he was okay.

Standing over him she put her hands on her hips and looked down while asking “Are you okay? That looked like it hurt”

Suddenly Sam interrupted with mirth “I have all of that on camera, you know that right”

Then redwing flew over to them, Bucky merely looked over to her and said “Yeah, im fine. How are you?” and then looking over to redwing hovering above them he grunted “ Get out of my face, Sam or I’ll break it.”

In the comms he just simply said “okay, head north”

Sticking her hand out to him she offered to help him up. Reaching to take her hand with her flesh one she pulled him up, and then quickly took a step back flustered at his proximity, “come on lets go” with that she went north.

Walking into the abandoned building Bucky and Katy looked around, while walking around redwing swooped right by Bucky prompting him to swat at it while she chuckled, and Sam said “don’t hurt him”

While they walked up to Sam he called out “You’re doing that staring thing again”, looking down to his wrist he continued “They’re in there.”’

“Where’s they guy?” Bucky asked, “I don’t know, I think they’re smuggling weapons, though.”

“Well, I think you could be right”

“hmm,” was all Sam said.

“Well, I think we should do something about it rather than just standing here and bantering about it” Katy called out with a smirk and then walked closer to get a better look to see what the two guys were doing.

Looking over to her Bucky had a light smile reach his eyes at her quip, while Sam just laughed. “There’s only one way to find out, I see a clear path. I say we take it.”

“We’re not assassins”

Grimacing as his reply Katy looked over her shoulder and then looked back.

“I’ll see you inside or not.” Bucky replied in his deep baritone voice staring out Sam, then walking over to Katy.

“Hey, come on man. I’m just messing with you. Come back” smiling Sam trailed after them.

With Bucky leading they way she trailed behind him.

“Look at you. All stealthy.” Chuckling Sam continues through the comms “all stealthy. A little time in Wakanda and you come out White Panther”

“It’s actually White Wolf”

“Huh”

“All right, I’m inside therefore, way ahead of you.” Crouching down her looks over to Katy and then back to the scene in front of them. “It’s not great, but very doable with Katy and I”

Feeling a presence creeping up behind her she looks back to see Sam stealthy creeping up behind them.

“huh”, Bucky said in confusion”, then went on in a sarcastic tone “Hello. How are you?”

“Good. What did I miss?”

“Nothing”

Huffing out she replied between them “Boys, can we get back to the mission? Kind of important here..”

“Alright let’s go” Bucky replied

“No wait.” Sam said.

“I got a vibranium arm. I can take them”

Something felt off about this, it looked almost too easy, before she could say anything Sam quickly responded “And I can fly, Katy can take them down with hand-to-hand combat. Who gives a shit? Wait.” “I wanna see where they’re going”

“Now wait a minute, I can do more than that” she said offended.

“There’s two people”

“You only see two?, what about you Kat?”

“That’s what I saw. Bucky responded while looking over to her.

“I only see two, but I..” She stops to take a break and then looks at them unsteadily. “I can sense more, if that makes sense.”

Both men are surprised by this and look at her questioningly.

Sighing she looks to them and the says “About seven years ago I was taken by the red room, and they experimented on me, apparently they saw an opportunity with my already enhanced DNA. From that I’ve been able to sense things, kind of like a sixth sense. I don’t know if that makes any sense, but it’s all I got.” Unable to elaborate anymore she looks away and hopes they will be satisfied with that answer.

Noticing her apprehension, they let it go for now and focus back on the mission. Bucky has a straight face, yet there’s concern there and a bit of understanding.

“Let me see what redwing sees.” Looking down at his wrist Sam points of the multiple body heat signatures redwing is picking up.

Grateful they let it go, she looks over to see that there appears to be five people.

How many people you see now? One, two…. Oh, here it comes again. Four, five. Yeah five.” Sam continues while Bucky just snaps “fine”

“Yeah.”

“So they’re strong whatever. All right lets go.”

“No, no wait. Shit”

Watching as the people look up from the noise, the trio held still trying not to be noticed. Finally, they looked on and continued their tasks.

“Alright, lets move” A woman call out to the other people. Waiting for them to be out of sight the three follows after . Looking at his wrist Sam notices that one of the trucks has an eight person in it. “I think they have a hostage he remarks.”

With that Bucky and Katy run off towards the truck while Sam flies towards it.

Running up the truck Bucky jumps up onto the back and opens the door climbing in, with Katy hot on his wheels. Walking in further he begins to look around, trying to find the hostage. Looking around they notices the crate and the contents, “They’re stealing medicine. Vaccines”

Looking up she notices a young woman poke her head out from one the crates, she looks scared and slightly hopeful. Alarm bells are going off in Katy’s head, but before she can do anything Bucky is saying hi and getting himself jacked out of the truck.

“Oh shit” she remarks before kicking out the woman and then turning to Bucky to see him being pulled up onto the car truck by two guys. Jumping up onto the other truck she goes to help him out with the other woman right on her heels. Turing around she blocks a swing from the red head and take a step back raising her arms and falling into a defense position.

Thrusting her foot forward she kicks out at the woman and hit her gut before she can even react. Thanks to her mom she has the quicker reflexes and quickly continues on her attack, turning to check on Bucky.

In her distraction the other woman get a kicks in and sends her flying back before Bucky’s feet, redwing then comes soaring in taking shots. The woman jumps up and catches it and then uses her knee to break it in half.

While on her back Katy quickly jumps back up landing with her one foot tucked in a kneeling position and the other in front while her hands are touching the floor.

Bucky looks up and happily says “I always wanted to do that.”

Sam’s going to be pissed she thought with a smirk and then turned and lashed out at the guys holding onto Bucky, sending them stumbling away. Ordinary her kicks would have wiped them out, but with the serum the just took a few steps back. Annoyed by this she turned around to see Sam swooping down and kicking the woman.

Ha she thought, I knew it.

While Sam was engaging in combat with the woman Bucky yelled out “Good of you to join the fight Sam” Quickly Bucky and she took on the other two men. In the meantime, the fight was joined by the other truck rolling up and two other men joining.

Sam was kicked onto to other truck leaving Katy to run up to the other guys and quickly jump up towards them, using her body as leverage she wraps her thighs around one of the guys and uses the momentum to throw him down, quickly raising her wrist she shoots out one of her widow’s bites from her gauntlet. It was a gift from her mother for her eighteenth birthday.

To her dismay it didn’t take him down for long, “Damn super soldiers” She muttered to herself.

Suddenly one of the men fighting Sam was hit by her father’s shield, looking up she noticed a helicopter with that Walker idiot jumping out. Rolling her eyes, she went on fighting.

Before she knows it the shield is flying around nocking the flag smashers down, while another mans jumps down on a rope. Great another idiot to contend with, who the hell is he supposed to be?

“Sam. John Walker, Captain America.”

“Lemar Hoskins”

Walker continues “Looks like you guys can use some help”

The two men say, responding to the questioning looks.

Ugg she thinks he looks way to proud to be brandishing that shield around. Dark thoughts quickly take over her mind, the very sight of him enrages her. Using that anger she quickly takes out her opponent.

The woman quickly makes her way up the Walker and Hoskins, Walker goes to hit her with the shield and then throws it out the other guys, while it soars back Bucky catches it with ease, handing it over to Walker reluctantly.

Witnessing the whole thing, the only thing that comes to mind to Katy was “Damn, that was hot” While slightly panting, blushing and hoping no one notices she looks towards the other two.

The fighting continues for a few more minutes before Bucky is pushed off the truck, faltering at the sight she receives a swift hit to the gut, quickly focusing back on the task at hand she continues to fight. Worried over Bucky still she notices Sam swoop in and them him and Bucky tumble away onto the field. With her head turned away her opponent kicks her off the truck sending her over in the direction the other two went.

Tumbling onto the ground below her and then rolling onto the grass, she berates herself for allowing herself to get distracted enough to get her ass handed to her. She was better than this, trained by a former red room assassin and a freaking super soldier since she was her girl.

Standing up she notices Sam and Bucky walking towards her.

“Well, that went horrible. We got a asses handed to us back there. I mean we are professional’s right? Because after that it seems like were amateurs. It’s embarrassing”

“Yeah, we sure did. Although I might add they were all super soldiers” Sam tuned in while him and Bucky walked off onto the road following after her.

“Well, this should be a fun walk back” Bucky said aloud looking straight ahead. Are you okay doll?” He said looking towards her.

Stuttering in her steps at the name, she quickly collected herself and responded with a smile “Never better, always love it when I take a tumble off a moving semi-truck, in the middle of nowhere.”

“Only twenty more miles to go of this” Sam intoned.