#HONESTLY THIS SCENE IS A NIGHTMARE TO WORK WITH COLORING

[ronsenthal]

So, you've decided to stay in the army?

[whiskey-tango-matcha]

Safe (M, cold)

Well, here I am.

It's been a few months since I've written anything in the Elliot's universe, but recently someone asked for a Mark-centric story, and this behemoth is what ensued. Allow me to preface by saying this: Mark is basically my self-insert. This was a very hard story to write. If it sucks, my apologies, hah.

In this, Mark gets sick from Matt and wants to hide it from Elijah. It is significantly more hurt/comfort-slash-sickfic than snzfic, honestly. It starts fairly benign, fluffy, and silly and gets really intense a few pages in. There's a lot of musing, a lot of being inside Mark's head. Idk. I'm not sure if I love it or hate it. This is the first story I've written on here that has taken me a full week to get down, and that I've written and scrapped multiple scenes. It is very long. I really hope you enjoy it if you read it. I'd love to hear your thoughts, but also understand if it's just too long-winded for people to read. Also, there's a real chance of spelling/grammar errors because I just can't look at this monster of a fic any longer, ha.

Anyway. Onward.

CW: Male snz, illness, coughing, contagion. 6K words (almost exactly)

Safe

“Don’t go near them.”

It’s the first thing that hit his ears as he pushed through the swinging kitchen doors; no ‘hi, Mark,’ no, ‘good morning’, just a barked order with absolutely zero context thrown in. Mark whipped his head in the direction of the stern voice of his boss.

“Good morning to you, too,” he muttered, making his way towards the office, where Elijah was stationed, seated, but not doing any computer work. “Who and what are we avoiding?” he asked as he entered.

“The chefs,” Elijah said, moving his chair to let the younger manager in to sit. Mark placed his backpack on the ground, tossed his coat over top of Greyson’s on the second office chair. Waited for further explanation that did not come.

“Okay…” he said, sitting beside his boss. “And we’re not going near them because…?” Mark hadn’t even seen Greyson or Matt yet this morning. The avoiding was being done for him, so what was Elijah’s deal?

Elijah hummed a low disapproval – of what, Mark couldn’t guess – and turned towards his computer. “You’ll see,” he said, shaking his mouse and pulling up an order guide. “Just don’t breathe your boyfriend’s breath, okay?”

Mark colored at the implication; it had only been a couple of months since Matt and Mark had been outed to the restaurant, and the floor manager still wasn’t used to their relationship being casually dropped into conversation. While Elijah busied himself with admin work, Mark stood – time to figure out what the fuck Elijah was on about.

You would think that finding chefs in a kitchen would be a relatively banal business; they’re chefs. They’re cooking. Hardly a moving target – but you’d be wrong. Somehow, the second a front of house manager starts looking for a chef, they become a ghost. They haven’t existed for a thousand years – are you sure this restaurant even has a chef? Mark couldn’t help but ponder how the fuck this hundred-square-foot kitchen somehow became a labyrinthian nightmare the second he wanted to find his boyfriend and his boyfriend’s boss; c’mon, he’d checked the walk-in, the back kitchen, even the dock to see if they were smoking, where the fuck were they?

Maybe Elijah had told the two of them to stay away from Mark and the front of house staff before the floor manager arrived, and they were playing a cat-and-mouse style keep-away game that Mark was unaware of. Or maybe they had gone to the store to pick up chicken or some shit. Either way, Mark was done looking. Elijah said don’t go near them, he thought to himself, heading back towards the front of the kitchen, easy enough.

Of course, it was the moment that Mark decided he was done looking that he quite literally bumped into his boyfriend coming through the kitchen doors.

“Oof,” Matt grunted as they collided. Greyson, not even a step behind him, turned their two-person bump into a three-car-pileup that nearly ended in hot coffee being spilled over all of them.

“Christ, Chef, watch where you’re going,” Matt muttered untangling himself from the middle of the pack.

“Mbe watch where I’mb going?” Greyson asked, wiping his coffee-covered hand on his chef’s pants. “The two of you are practically grinding on each other here and I ndeed to watch where I’mb going?”

Mark clocked it in the chef’s voice immediately – oh. That’s what Elijah meant.

But… he had said both of them… right?

Mark’s head shot up from checking to make sure he didn’t have coffee all over his button-down to look Matt directly in the face – ah. Fuck.

“Hh-! Hh’ITSHZH-ue! HRTSHH-ue!” Matt collapsed to the side to sneeze, seemingly in lieu of responding to Greyson’s dig. “Snf. Fuck off, Chef.” There it was.

“Bless you,” Mark said, attempting not to sound accusatory. Matt just nodded.

“Yeah,” he said, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. “Sorry.”

Before Mark could respond to the unnecessary apology, Elijah’s voice rang out once again from the office. “Mark, I told you to stay away from them!” The GM stood from his desk chair and strode into the kitchen, physically pushing Mark and Matt away from one another. “Six foot distance,” he said, pointing at both of them. “And you,” he said, addressing his counterpart, “didn’t I tell you to go get some tea and sit the fuck down? We have a big night tonight and I need you conscious, please.”

Greyson rolled his eyes and held up his cup. “I was on mby way to sit when the children starting gyrating on each other in the mbiddle of mby kithcen,” he said. “Don’t put this one on mbe.”

Elijah squeezed the bridge of his nose, frustrated. “First of all,” he said, moving towards Greyson and plucking the cup from his hand, “that isn’t tea.”

“The tea we buy is gross,” Greyson whined. “And I’mb ti – hh! Hh...hhuh-ETSHZH-ue! Snrf, fuck.” Greyson took a moment to collect himself, to wipe his nose on his sleeve and cough – a wet, concerning sound – before finishing his sentence. “I’mb tired,” he said, snatching the cup back.

“Which is why I told you to go sit down,” Elijah said, pressing his palms together and accentuating each word with his hands. “And please do not get my front of house manager sick. I beg, Greyson.”

“Talk to him,” Greyson said, thumbing towards Matt. “I’mb ndot the one with my tongue in Mark’s mbouth twenty-four-seven.”

Mark’s face flamed once again, but Matt, either too sick to care or beyond the embarrassment that was a public relationship in the work place, just rolled his eyes.

“Jealous, much?” Matt asked under his breath. Greyson shot daggers with a glance at his sous, and Mark decided it was probably time to step in.

“Listen, how about I go grab the two of you some medicine from down the street, you both take a rest, and then by the time the meds have kicked in, everyone should be good for service.” Mark looked to Elijah for his blessing; his boss was obviously mulling it over, considering. “And this way, I’ll be out of the metaphorical splash zone,” he finished, which finally prompted a nod from Elijah.

“Okay,” his boss said. “Good idea, Mark. You two – come with me.”

The GM led the two chefs back into the dining room to lay in the back booth while Mark let out a sigh. He was happy, of course, to be out of the fight, to have seemingly calmed everyone down, and to have put his boss’s mind at ease.

Unfortunately, he was fairly sure that – despite Elijah’s eased mind – it was already too late for keeping himself away from the newest restaurant pestilence.

***

“Elijah is going to kill me, Matt.”

“Oh, please, he is ndo – ITSZCHH-ue! ndot,” Matt said, swiping the bottle of Dayquil from Mark’s hand and chugging it. “You gonna sit?” he asked, sniffling and patting the milk crate beside him and shivering. Mark sighed.

“I’m not gonna sit, because Elijah is going to kill me even more if he sees me sitting right next to you.”

“I’mb gonna go out on a limb here and say that’s ndot possible,” Matt said, dissolving at the end of his sentence into a chesty cough.

“You’re coughing now, too?” Mark asked, worry about Elijah’s anger usurped very suddenly by concern for his boyfriend. Mark placed a hand to Matt’s head. “Oh, honey.”

“Sorry,” Matt said, not bothering to move Mark’s hand. Mark huffed out a little laugh.

“Don’t apologize for being sick. Please,” he said, moving his hand to cup Matt’s cheek. “Even if Elijah might kill us both.”

Matt smiled, pressed his face harder into Mark’s hand. “You might ndot get sick. You ndever know,” he muttered, eyes closing as Mark held his head up.

“Matt,” Mark laughed, “I mean… I don’t think that’s, uh, possible after last night.” Matt’s eyes blinked open at the mention of it, and a little smile flitted across his lips.

The apartment had been quiet.

“Matt?” Mark called as he stepped inside. “Babe, are you home?”

He strained his ears; the shower was on. Mark had an idea.

He tiptoed across the cold apartment floor, quietly stripping as he went; by the time he got to the bathroom door, he was nude as the day he was born. The bathroom door wasn’t closed all the way, so he pushed inside silently and pulled back the curtain.

A fact about Matt that shocked Mark more than anything was that the man did not get scared. He had yawned through their first haunted house together; he fell asleep during the Terrifier movies, for Christ’s sake. So Mark was unsurprised when, instead of screaming bloody murder the way he would’ve if Matt snuck up on his in the shower, his boyfriend simply turned away from the spray and smiled.

“You’re early,” he murmured, ushering Mark in.

“I came right from the gym,” Mark said, wrapping his arms around the shorter man. “I wanted to see you.”

“Mmmm,” Matt hummed, pressing himself into Mark’s arms. “That’s nice, baby.”

They stood that way for a few minutes, until Mark tipped Matt’s chin up towards his face. “I wanted to see you,” he said, pressing his lips onto Matt’s neck, “but I also wanted to… do things. With you.”

Matt’s breath caught in the back of his throat. “Yeah?” he asked, voice low. “Like what?”

Mark stood back to his full height, and pushed Matt against the shower wall. “Let me show you.”

“Fair enough,” Matt said now, lifting his head. “But, I mbean, are you feeling okay right ndow?”

He was, for the moment. But, Matt had seemed alright last night, and clearly he’d already been on the trajectory towards ill – despite that fact that he had been very good at hiding it. Whatever he and his boss had picked up was certainly quick to come on.

“I’m fine, baby, don’t worry about me,” Mark said, rummaging through the drug store bag to hand Matt, who’d fallen into another paroxysm of coughing, the Robitussin. “I’m more worried about you than anything.”

Matt snapped the top off and chugged this medicine as well, seemingly without any concern about mixing two medications. “Babe, it’ll be fine. I kndow Elijah is worried about getting through the weekend, but it’s ndot like any of us haven’t worked with a cold before.” He shrugged then, handed Mark the medicine, and stood. Mark stood as well, and once again cupped Matt’s hot face – this time with both hands.

“Please just take it a little bit easy tonight, okay?” Mark said. “I know Greyson is sick, too, but don’t try to do too much. We don’t need another moment like a few months ago.”

“And to think I’d just forgotten about that,” Matt said, going on tiptoe to kiss his boyfriend. “I’ll be okay.” Mark kissed him back, a little longer than was maybe necessary; long enough that neither of them heard the back door open until it was too late.

“Mark, what the fuck are you doing?”

Oh, fuck.

Elijah.

***

By the end of the night, Greyson and Matt were shadows of their former selves.

“Hh-! Hhhuh… hhNGTSHH-ue! HRTSHH! ETSZCH-ue! Fuuuck mbe,” Greyson muttered as he wrenched into the sleeve of his hoodie – chef coats had been abandoned about an hour into service, when both he and Matt started shivering hard enough to fuck up the plating on more than half the dishes – for the millionth time that night. He attempted to clear his throat, prompting a flurry of congested coughs.

Behind him, Matt was sitting on the cold, industrial kitchen ground, head between his knees. “I’mb gonna pass out, I just kndow I am.”

“Don’t fuckigg pass out,” Greyson growled, pulling his sous to his feet. “You ndeed to get your blood mboving, you gotta stand up. Idiot.”

The two of them, bickering and sneezing in near-unison by the pass, had captivated the attention of both front of house managers, who had turned away from their computer work to watch the mess unfold.

“Hope you like what you see,” Elijah said, finally. “Because that’s gonna be you tomorrow.”

Behind his boss’s back, Mark rolled his eyes. “Boss, I’m fine. I don’t feel sick at all, trust me, I’m going to be okay.” It was mostly true; he’d sneezed a few more times today than was normal for him, yes. And he was a little tired – no more than usual, surely. The rawness in the back of his throat was easily ignored with huge gulps of water. He was fine.

“Mmm,” Elijah said, swinging his chair around to look the younger man in the eye, “sure. Whatever you say, Mark; just remember, if you look even close to how bad Matt does tonight, you’re off the floor. And I mean off the floor until you return to normal. A cold is one thing; whatever these two have is entirely another. Understood?”

Mark swallowed around his burgeoning sore throat; off the floor. Off the floor didn’t mean relegated to busywork behind the scenes; it meant sent home. Being sent home meant days without a backup manager to help Elijah on the floor, and no one to help on the floor meant Elijah would realize there was a gap in their team. A gap in management. Mark had been the only floor manager in all the years Elliot’s had been open; Elijah had mentioned a few times that maybe they should hire another person, someone to cover if both Mark and Elijah couldn’t come in, but Mark had been vehemently against it. Elijah couldn’t hire another manager, because if he did, he’d see how truly unqualified Mark had been for his position all this time. Once he saw how unqualified he was, he’d be out on his ass. No job, no money… no second family. No place he truly belonged.

Mark’s face flushed, and he cast his eyes towards the floor. “Yes, boss,” he said. “I understand.”

“Good,” Elijah said, nodding. “Now, go collect your boyfriend and take him to bed.”

***

The first time Mark was sick while working at Elliot’s was well over a year into his tenure.

Elijah had regarded Mark with concern, clocking him as unwell the second he sat in the office. “You don’t look well,” he said. “Are you feeling okay?”

Mark’s face had flushed, embarrassed; not getting sick for over a year working front of house was honestly a feat of accomplishment in the restaurant industry, but he still felt guilty for coming down with something, despite its inevitability. He shrugged, an attempt at playing it cool.

“I’mb okay, boss,” Mark croaked. “Just a cold.”

Elijah nodded slowly. “Are you sure it’s just a cold? You feel okay to work?”

Mark raised an eyebrow, confused. Did he look that unwell? “I mbean… yeah?” he said, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. “Why?”

“Well,” Elijah said, opening a drawer and pulling out cold medicine, along with a small bag that looked like it could’ve come from his mother’s medicine cabinet. “A cold, we can work with.”

The GM explained to him, then, that there were marked differences between the front of house cold, and the back of house cold. “You’ve seen Greyson sick at work a dozen times,” Elijah said, passing Mark a cup full of pills and a water bottle. “Right?”

“Sure,” Mark said, swallowing the pills around a painfully sore throat. “It’s ndot like he’s hiding it.”

“Right. Right,” Elijah said, popping open a stick that looked like – was that concealer? “The chefs, the cooks – they don’t have to hide anything. Us, though? No one wants to be served soup by someone with a stuffy nose. We all get the same shit, but only they’re allowed to look like shit.” He dabbed the concealer under Mark’s eyes, used an expert finger to blend it into his skin. “That’s the industry for you.”

“Are you… putting makeup on mbe?” Mark asked, laughing a bit.

“Sure am,” Elijah said. “A little concealer goes a long way in this profession, Mark. Concealer, and enough meds to tranquilize an elephant.” His boss closed the little concealer pen, put the medicine and makeup away. “I want you on the floor, but I want you to look… alive.” Elijah shut the drawer, shrugged. “Let me know if you start feeling really shitty. Otherwise? Come to the back to blow your nose, and feel free to help yourself to whatever you want in here.”

Mark blinked, a little confused, but grateful for the advice. Elijah seemed… almost fatherly, like this, and he could feel embarrassing tears welling in his eyes at this, the smallest gesture of being cared for. Mark looked down, cleared his throat. “Uh… okay, boss. Thanks.”

“Don’t mention it,” Elijah said, patting Mark’s knee. “We’ve gotta take care of each other in this hell hole of an industry, y’know?”

Mark couldn’t look up. The thought of his boss seeing him cry was entirely too much for him to handle. “Right,” he whispered. “Right.”

***

The hardest part of hiding an illness, Mark knew from experience, was speaking.

Putting on makeup and looking like a human instead of a corpse? Easy. He’d learned how to apply concealer so it didn’t look like he was in drag – just enough that in the dim lighting of the restaurant you couldn’t tell if those were dark circles or shadows. He’d learned if you added a tiny bit of blush to your cheeks, no one noticed that your nose was also red, and he’d figured out the hard way that there was never a world in which he needed eyeliner, even if it made his eyes look less bloodshot.

He always dressed immaculately when he wasn’t feeling well; extra-crisp button down, sport coat, his expensive Ray Ban glasses, not the cheapos from Zenni he usually donned. Mark shined his shoes the second he felt a tickle in his throat, broke out the cuff links if he suddenly sneezed more than thrice in a row. He’d been trained well by Elijah to hide the visual cues of any oncoming malady.

Hiding how he really felt came even more naturally; he’d been practicing that since childhood. Complaining wasn’t in his nature, or had maybe been stamped out entirely at some point – either way, Mark could be actively passing out, unable to breathe, coughing so hard he couldn’t form a sentence, and he wouldn’t even mention it. Of course, he’d been sent home from work for being ill before, but never once had he chosen to go. Even the thought of saying ‘I’m sick’ made him dizzy with unease. You need to work through that in therapy, Matt had said to him multiple times, and he knew it was true, but it was also helpful. In this industry, admitting defeat was akin to admitting you sucked at your job.

The voice, though? That was always what gave him away. No matter how much medicine he took, he could always hear the rasp that overtook his voice immediately. His m’s and n’s turned to rounded shadows of their former selves even if he blew his nose every five minutes. His timbre lowered considerably, to the point that when Matt first saw him sick he asked how it felt to be able to do a perfect Johnny Cash, but only when he felt like shit. It was a problem, but Mark was a pretty quiet guy in general. If he was quieter than usual, usually no one was the wiser.

That’s what he hoped – that his boss would be none the wiser – as he dressed in his perfectly-tailored suit that morning, stifling sneeze after painful sneeze into handfuls of tissue all the while. Just don’t talk, he thought as he dotted Maybeline under his eyes. No one has to know.

Of course, not talking was a bit… difficult when his boss was around. “Good morning,” Elijah called to Mark as he buzzed through the kitchen, trying to make his way into the dining room without having to make small talk. Dammit. Mark stopped, begrudgingly, and nodded at his boss, who raised both eyebrows at the younger manager’s outfit choice. “Is there an event tonight I’ve forgotten?”

Mark shook his head, straightened his tie. “Just felt like dressing up,” he said, tactfully avoiding words with too many nasal letters. “How’re you, boss?”

“I’m well,” Elijah said, pointedly. He patted the empty chair next to him, prompting Mark to sit; don’t let him get a good look at you, a voice in Mark’s head chastised. Don’t get taken off the floor. “Greyson’s not coming in till three, if you want to do your preshift report in here today.”

“That’s okay,” Mark said. “I like the dining roomb.” Fuck.

Elijah cocked his head to the side, but didn’t mention Mark’s voice. “How’s Matt feeling?” he asked, another pointed question.

“He’s okay – a little better. Said he’d be here at four.” Mark patted himself on the back for maneuvering around any pesky m’s or n’s that time. Elijah nodded slowly.

“Glad to hear it,” Elijah said, standing. The younger manager was several inches taller than his boss, but Elijah was still able to look him fairly closely in the eye. Once again, one word rattled around in Mark’s head: fuck. “How are you feeling?”

Mark allowed a smile to form on his rapidly-chapping lips. “Good, boss. Ready to work,” he said simply. God, he needed to clear his throat. And more than that, he really, really needed to blow his nose.

Elijah nodded. “Alright,” he said, apparently placated. “Go ahead, then.”

“Thanks, boss,” Mark said, stepping out of the office doorway and pushing through the swinging kitchen doors before Elijah could say anything else. He’d made it through the first test, somehow. Just in time, too, he thought, making a beeline towards the bathroom. Because I really fucking need to -

“NTSHH!” Mark stifled a near-silent sneeze into his wrist as he yanked open the guest bathroom door. Finally, locked in the bathroom alone, he allowed himself to be as disgusting, as sick as he really was.

“Hhuh -! Hh- ETZSCH-ue! HRRSHH-ue! Huh… hh’RRSHH-ue!” Mark collapsed in on himself, scrambling to collect a handful of tissues so he wouldn’t ruin the sleeve of his suit. He blew his nose as thoroughly as he could – not that it made any difference, he was still stuffed up to the gills. A pathetic little cough escaped his lungs, prompting another tickle in his sinuses. “HUHTTSCHH-ue!”

Shut up, shut up, shut up, he chastised himself, blowing his nose again. He’s going to fucking hear you.

He waited a moment or two to see if Elijah would push through the door – he didn’t – before sitting fully clothed on the toilet and pulling out his phone.

11:56AM

Mark

what is this, the fucking plague?

Almost immediately, Matt texted back.

11:57AM Matt

o shit, did we get you already? baby im so sorry. u shouldve told me u weren’t feeling good last night u couldve stayed over

11:57AM Mark

not your fault. and I’m ok, just trying to avoid Elijah, he’s gonna be so pissed.

11:59AM

Matt

omfg he’ll get over it. its not like someone in that restaurant isnt sick every other week

Mark sighed, his lungs crackling at the effort. Matt was right; someone was almost always sick at Elliot’s, that was the way of things in this industry. They all shared drinks, they worked in close quarters, it was bound to happen. This was less about the illness itself – of course he’d been sick at work before, who hadn’t? - and more about the look he knew he’d see on Elijah’s face when he’d finally have to crack. He’d gone directly against his boss’s orders, had put his job and the restaurant second to his baser desires. That’s no way to get ahead in this world, his dad’s voice bellowed from the base of his brain. Mark shuddered; he wasn’t sure he’d be able to face Elijah’s look of pure disappointment. He wasn’t sure he had it in him.

Slipping his phone into his pocket, Mark stood and washed his hands. He took an inventory of his face in the mirror – eye bags poorly covered by drugstore makeup, his nose raw and red, his mouth slightly open to allow him to breathe – and realized how truly awful he looked. Was there even a chance that Elijah didn’t know he was sick? Doubtful, his dad’s voice muttered.

You have to just try, another voice in his head pleaded. Just push through, you know how to push through. You’ve done it a million times before. He doesn’t have to know.

That voice, Mark knew, was delusional – a child’s gnawing plea to be accepted, to not get in trouble, to not be thought of as a burden – but he knew that sometimes you had to be delusional, had to listen to the saddest, smallest part of yourself to get through a day. He pulled his phone back out before leaving the bathroom.

12:04PM

Mark

just please don’t say anything to Elijah when you get here, ok? I’m fine, I promise. its honestly probably just in my head, it’s probably nothing so just don’t say anything. see u soon.

Pathetic, his dad’s voice spat, and Mark knew the voice was right. But that was nothing new, nothing to dwell on; he’d always been pathetic. Mark switched off his phone then, not wanting to be comforted by his boyfriend, and stepped onto the floor.

***

“Mark,” Matt said, reaching up to touch the front of house manager’s forehead, “you really need to go.”

Mark pulled away before Matt could touch him, though not by choice. “HRRSHH-uhh! Hh-! HhNTZSHH-ue! Snrrf. Leave mbe alone.”

Matt’s hand recoiled at the ice in his boyfriend’s voice, obviously hurt. Normally, Mark would’ve nearly fallen to his knees at the thought of hurting Matt’s feelings, but today, with the cold from hell progressing quicker than he ever could’ve anticipated, he couldn’t even find it in himself to apologize. Obviously he needed to go, but that would mean admitting to illness; it would mean begin taken off the floor until god-knows-when. It would mean Elijah replacing him.

No. He wasn’t about to go.

“Honey,” Matt said carefully, touching Mark’s hand across the expo board, “I’mb sure Elijah would understand. It’s a slow ndight, he already sent Greyson back home. What are you trying to prove?”

Of course, Matt was right; last night’s crazy shift was in stark contrast to this evening’s steady pace. There were hardly twenty more covers for the evening, and yes, even Greyson had admitted defeat and slunk out right at six p.m., in a fevered haze. The only reason Matt was still here was because his fever had broken this morning and, despite the lingering cough and stuffy nose, he was clearly feeling better. Good enough, even, to have gone behind Mark’s back and talked to Elijah.

“Matt told me,” Elijah had cornered him right before preshift started, in the back server station while everyone else ate family meal. Mark felt his stomach sink. Fucking Matt, he thought, clearing his throat to address his boss in the most normal voice he could muster.

“Told you what?” he asked, straightening his tie. Elijah gave the younger manager a knowing look.

“You don’t look like you feel well, Mark,” he said, obviously trying a different tactic. This time, Mark’s stomach knotted; he felt, for a moment, like a little kid, wanting to fall to the ground in front of his mommy and just allow himself to be comforted. He thought for a fleeting moment of how good it would feel to just admit it; I’m sick, he would say, if he were a normal fucking person, I want to go to bed.

Instead, Mark shook his head. “I don’t kndow what Matt told you, but he doesn’t kndow what he talking about,” he managed, his voice cutting out only once. “I’mb fine.”

Elijah sighed. “Mark, listen, I know I was an asshole yesterday -”

“Boss,” Mark cut Elijah off. “Please. I’mb okay. Just please, let mbe work.”

He’d walked away then, hadn’t let Elijah say whatever it was he wanted to say, and had avoided Matt as well as he could throughout service. Now, mid-shift, when all the cooks and servers were side-eyeing them from he expo board, was not the time to hash this out.

“I’mb ndot trying to prove anything, Matt,” Mark said now, grabbing two plates from the window. “Just stay out of mby business. What table?”

Matt bit his cheek, peaked at the chit. “Please don’t be mbad,” he said, voice quiet. Mark prickled; he couldn’t help it. He was mad. He’d asked one stupid thing of Matt, and now here he was, career in trouble, embarrassed in front of both of their staffs, and once again gearing up for another painful -

“HTTSHH-ue! God, fugck,” Mark swore, ducking expertly away from the plates he was holding. He sucked in through his nose hard enough to make himself dizzy, and looked back at Matt. “What table, Chef?” he asked, pointedly. Matt winced.

“Thirty-three,” he said finally. Mark nodded.

“Great. Thangks.” He turned on his heels and pushed out the kitchen doors.

***

Before it happened, Mark found himself thinking exactly what his boyfriend was moaning the night previous: I’m gonna pass out, I know I am.

The only difference was, Mark was correct.

He’d been feeling shittier and shittier as the night went on. It began with spells of dizziness that came anytime he moved his head too fast, then moved on to an ache in his chest every time he coughed. A cold is one thing, he remembered Elijah saying the night previous. Whatever they have is entirely something else.

Elijah the prophet.

He kept pushing through. Plate after plate came out of the kitchen on his aching arms; he shook drinks while coughing into his shoulder, and sniffled his way through seating guests. Mark could feel Elijah’s eyes on him, though his boss refused to speak to him throughout the shift. I’ll show him, his fever-addled mind kept saying. I can do this. I’m fine.

It wasn’t until the last table had sat that his body well and truly told him he’d had enough. Mark was seeing stars when he grabbed a filet and swordfish, and once again he ignored it. He ignored the room swimming before him as he pushed out of the kitchen. He ignored the sway in his step.

“Shit, Mark!” was the last thing he heard, standing in the middle of the dining room with hot plates in each of his hands. There was no way to tell who said it – Elijah? Matt? – but it didn’t really matter, because before he could respond, his vision became a tiny pinkprick, his knees buckled, and the lights went out.

***

When the world came back into focus, he had somehow teleported into his bed.

At first, Mark tried desperately to get up; he’d fallen in the middle of the restaurant, that he unfortunately remembered immediately. There had been people around, guests watching, and he immediately felt his face flame with embarrassment. Oh, Elijah is going to kill me.

That was when he realized he was no longer in the restaurant. Mark placed a hand over an aching eye; was it all a dream? He looked down – no, it couldn’t be. He was still in his tailored suit, the tie and ciff links missing, but otherwise dressed to the nines.

“Whoa there, kid,” a familiar voice came from the doorway. “Go ahead and lie back down.”

Mark blearily glanced towards the voice. There, just outside his bedroom, stood Elijah, a steaming cup in one hand and a thermometer in the other. Fuck.

“Shit, Elijah, I’mb so sorry I ca – HTSHH-ue! HRRSHH-ue! Fuck, ’scuse mbe,” Mark, any facade of health finally washed away, used his expensive suit jacket to wipe his nose. Elijah glided across the small room and sat on the foot of the bed, handing the younger man the cup. Tea.

“Save your breath,” Elijah said. “You already apologized about a hundred times at the restaurant.”

He had? Mark gave Elijah a confused look, and sat back on the pillows behind him. He hadn’t even realized he’d come to at the restaurant at all.

“Mmhmm,” Elijah said, nodding. “To me. To Matt. To the guests. To the EMTs. I would think you’d be apologized out.”

EMTs? Mark cringed; as if he hadn’t been embarrassed enough. He wanted to ask, but at the same time he figured it was probably better that he didn’t remember. Small mercies, he thought.

“Lij,” Mark croaked, taking a sip of the tea, “I really amb… sorry. I mbean, I can’t imagine how mbuch I embarrassed you. Thangk you for bringing mbe home… I understand if you can’t…let mbe, uh. Work there. Anymore.”

Mark, destroyed by fever, and aches, and what was probably some sort of bronchitis-sinus-infection super-fucking-hybrid, couldn’t help but let the angry, ashamed tears fall as he said it. Matt wasn’t here, which most likely meant he was out both a boyfriend and a job. You fucking idiot. You stupid, fucking idiot, how dumb could you -

Elijah broke through the screaming in his head – he took Mark’s arms in his hands, placed his cup on the side table, and pulled him in for a hug. “Mark,” his boss said, “you really had us worried.” He pulled the younger manager back, concern painted on his face. “Of course you aren’t fired, I don’t know why you’d think that of me,” he said, a moment so raw that Mark felt like he’d been sucker-punched. “You should’ve just told me you were so sick. So you could go and rest. I would’ve even let Matt go with you.” Elijah patted his knee then, and handed Mark back the mug. “It’s just a restaurant, Mark. You’re more important than service.”

Mark felt his eyes well up once again. Had anyone ever told him he was worth more than the work he did? He wasn’t sure. He wasn’t sure, and that felt like an even harder gut-punch.

“I just…” he managed, wiping beneath his eyes. “I just didn’t wandt you to replace mbe. I’mb sorry for letting Mbatt get mbe sick.”

At this, Elijah actually laughed. “Mark,” he said, “you’re young. You’re in love; it comes with the territory. I was annoyed because Greyson and Matt are constantly getting everyone in that restaurant sick. I wasn’t trying to attack you.” He smiled then, a small and slightly sad smile. “I’m sorry if that’s how to came off.”

Mark didn’t know what to say; he felt awful, like he’d been hit by a semi, and he just wanted to sleep. See Matt. Apologize for being a dick. And sleep.

“Is Mbatt mad at mbe?” he croaked, pulling his legs into his chest. This time, Elijah actually laughed.

“I don’t think Matt knows how to be mad at you,” he said. “He’s just closing up the line; he was actually the one who brought you back here, but you were racked out so I said I’d come keep an eye on you till he got back.” Elijah shrugged, gave a little knowing smile. “He’ll be back soon. Okay? We don’t have to talk any more about this now. Just… try to sleep.” He patted Mark’s shoulder; a fatherly gesture from a man who claimed to know nothing about being a parent. “I’ll call Matt.”

Finally, finally, Mark conceded. He wanted to thank Elijah, or maybe apologize again, but he couldn’t make his mouth form words. Instead, he just nodded, grateful, and sank back into his pillow. He felt his eyes close, and allowed himself, for once, to let someone else take care of him.

He knew, maybe for the first time in his life, that he was safe.

[dichromaticdyke]

ALRIGHT I'LL POST MY ANALYSIS OF THE MTL JERK-OFF SCENE HERE TOO.

you're welcome @ogurizz

for reference, this is a character analysis based solely off the scene in "Writersklok" where Nathan explains their "process" to Abigail. yes, i'm serious.

nathan:

sleeping on the floor with piles of booze and drugs, not surprising there. though out of everyone who’s still asleep, he’s the only one who’s at the very least stirring, and he’s checking the time. he’s aware he has to be at least somewhat responsible for the band getting up and working, but he doesn’t want to.

then for breakfast, he’s just staring angrily at his plate of meat and eggs and potatoes. kind of unenthused, like this is the meal he used to eat in his football days just to bulk up—there’s no joy in it, it’s just routine.

the most emotion we see from him in this scene is when he’s jacking off, he looks both intense and and also like he’s VERY pent up. which i think is reminiscent of how he’s the one who craves a romantic connection the most. even though he does have casual sex, it doesn’t seem to be fulfilling him.

pickles:

passed out in his bathroom, clearly hungover and had a rough bender the night before. there’s something very lonely about it—despite them all being addicts who love to party and binge drink, pickles is still the one who does it to the most excess, and that’s so common that it’s normal for no one else to be around afterwards. they know he’ll be “fine.”

and he is, he gets his cinnamon buns, indulging in something that we know makes him very happy. his face there looks a bit happy but also a bit unsure. i mean based off the framing of this shot, it’s implied they’re all having breakfast alone. which might not be true, they all do seem like they could be together in the same room since they’re each in different areas, but that could also just speak to the familiarity they have with each other. even when they’re alone, that’s their spot.

but back to pickles, casual smirk while jacking off. not much to say except—this one’s for you pickle fuckers.

murderface:

he’s also been drinking. the way he’s positioned too, his arms crossed like they usually are reflects his typical disdain and anger that he carries through life. he can’t find a moment of peace, even when sleeping.

he’s clearly not getting enough sleep, though, likely still troubled by something, whether it’s anxiety/insecurity or nightmares about his father, and so all he has for breakfast is coffee.

again, he seems most at peace while jacking off, and he’s also really focused. we know he’s not getting as much action as the rest of the band, but he’s at least found a way to deal with it so he doesn’t get too frustrated.

toki:

funnily enough, he has the easiest time sleeping. i think that’s crazy given his TRAUMA, but he clearly has a routine he sticks to. he’s got his sleep mask on, he’s sleeping in his clothes on top of his bed like a heathen—whatever it is, he knows how to get comfortable, and honestly? probably just having a bed AT ALL is better than his childhood, so that’s all he needs.

then he has just a very simple cereal for breakfast—even though he could have anything he wants, and even though he DOES indulge at times, he prefers the simple things in many cases.

and he jacks off like a maniac: not only is he using that intense focused face he makes while coloring and texting (clearly coloring, sex, and social interaction all fire off the same synapses in his brain) but he’s also. not in his room. @supersaturnnyoomkitty and i have talked about this before and we don’t know where the hell he is in this shot. but he’s not comfortable jacking off in his room, probably because of all the creepy pictures of his parents staring at him.

skwisgaar:

my babygirl…sleeping with a bunch of groupies who he’d just spent the night with. i always think it’s interesting that he lets his groupies stay the night, i think he longs for the closeness/intimacy of sharing a bed with someone after sex, but he’d never admit it.

at breakfast, he just looks bored. he had a beer and nathan’s coffee mug and waffles, but all he’s interested in is his guitar. that’s all he’s ever truly interested in, regardless of who else may or may not be around.

and then he’s naked when he’s jacking off. because of COURSE he is. besides guitar, sex is the only thing he’s good at, he takes it very seriously, very intensely. besides guitar, it’s probably the only worth he thinks he has.

and then none of them really feel like recording. not because they’re dispassionate about music, obviously they’re not. they all care deeply about music and dethklok, even if they’re just terribly lazy. because they have gotten so used to the rockstar lifestyle that it’s easy for them to fall back on base pleasures, even when they’re all clearly suffering from loneliness or trauma, and they can just WORK ON THAT if they made music together, if they worked together as a BAND a FAMILY. but they don’t always want to, because it’s gay to care.

i spent way too much time looking at this scene to write this, i deserve recompense.

[hugsandchaos]

Remember the episode “Two Good To Be True”? How there’s an alternate universe where Knuckles and Sonic are sort of switched, Dave’s a good, smart guy, and Eggman’s color is actually green? I decided to make some headcanons and ideas for it!

To be honest, this is partially for the 6 people who always like these kinds of posts of mine, which I appreciate. You guys are sweet!

•Sonic is dumb, sure, but he’s surprisingly knowledgeable about first aid, a bit of cooking, and the basics of wilderness survival. He mostly knows it because he looks after Tails.

•This Knuckles lives in a treehouse. I can’t explain why, I just think it’d be fitting.

•Both Sonic and Tails live in a house built inside a cave, and Sonic has a hammock inside and outside.

•Dave does his best to make sure Meh Burger’s food isn’t a health hazard and works on his inventions in his spare time.

•Dave’s mother disapproves of him being a hero instead of a villain and they’ve fought about it before. The fights are slowly getting more frequent. Dave is considering the possibility of moving out, and he’s told Knuckles and Amy about this. They both plan to support their friend every step of the way, whatever he chooses.

•Dave tries to insist that his friends don’t have to pay, but knowing how bad the pay sometimes is for him, the group will sometimes put money in the tip jar or on the table and run. Basically the good version of eating and leaving without paying. (Sonic: *whispering* Quick, Tails! While he’s not looking! / Tails: *puts a ten dollar bill in the tip jar* / Sonic: *picks him up and runs* Come on!) I like to think that they were both stifling some giggles, and when Sonic runs, Tails lets it out and it’s this really wholesome scene.

•Tails is obsessed with airplanes. He likes all of Dave’s inventions, but airplanes hold a special place in his heart. Sonic takes him to the library every week to either reread the books he’s already read about them or check out any new ones.

•Knuckles grew up on Bygone Island.

•Tails and Sonic both washed up on the shore one day. (It was a nightmare when they woke up because they both thought they were in danger and panicked.)

•Knuckles looks down on Sonic a little, and not in an ill-intended way?? He just makes comments sometimes. For example, what he said in the beginning of Two Good To Be True: “Now, if you’ll excuse me, the grownups have a job to do.”

•This Sonic simply has to keep at least some of his sass, okay? I really liked that part of his character.

•Tails sometimes figures out the flaws in Dave’s inventions. He’s crazy smart for his age, and Sonic’s proud of him for it.

•Sonic, like Original Boom Knuckles, does have his moments where he says something sensible and smart. Example— Knuckles: Wow, Sonic! I expected you to have more trouble with leg exercises. / Sonic: Knuckles, I run, hit, and kick at the speed of sound. If my legs weren’t strong, they’d be broken to the point where they might as well be amputated a long time ago. / Knuckles: …You make a fair point.

•Instead of Shadow, the “rival” in the story is Rouge. The reason is largely unknown, but my guess is because she keeps stealing stuff. (I wonder when they’ll notice the pattern of the things she’s stealing…)

•Yes, like in the episode, it seems pretty likely that Amy x Knuckles will be a thing. And honestly, I can see them being a pretty healthy relationship. Don’t get me wrong, Rouge and Knuckles being shipped in this AU would be interesting, but I think the main one is going to be Knuckles and Amy.

•Knuckles has Phasmophobia, and there’s definitely a Halloween episode or story of him trying to face this fear. Sonic dresses up as a ghost to try to help, but the costume wasn’t convincing enough to instill any true terror.

•Knuckles is unfortunately a “hit first, ask later” when someone’s causing trouble. Sonic is the opposite, he tries to reason and ask the trouble maker about their motives, usually by disguising it as a joke or jab at the enemy.

•As for Shadow… Well, I guess you guys would have to wait and see, huh?

[grapenehifics]

I’m very curious to know if you have a headcanon about whether Anakin wears a sleep shirt? He’s shirtless in both AOTC and ROTS. Is this because he overheats at night? What does Obi-Wan think about this?

Tits out, guns out.

Longer (real?) answer below the cut...

First of all, thank you for this ask; this kept my brain very pleasantly occupied on my commute to work today.

In An Uncivil War, I put Anakin in clone-issue under-armor to sleep in - which involved a whole separate headcanon, about what they wear, which is more likely probably both black leggings and a black turtleneck but I added a sleeveless black undershirt to that combo so that Anakin could wear a black tank top because this is my fic and I want to see some arms damnit - mostly to get him into something black and obviously non-Jedi issue but also because he and Obi-Wan are sharing a room with Ahsoka for all of that fic so while I think he'd be perfectly happy to go shirtless around Obi-Wan he also recognizes that they're in a war and anything could happen and he would not have the luxury of being able to get up slowly and put a robe on or anything before needing to hurry to the bridge to deal with an explosion or a Separatist attack, so during the war he might forgo the whole sleeping-naked thing at least while on duty.

I think of Obi-Wan - at least pre-war Obi-Wan - as a pajamas person, like the whole nine-yards matching-set sort of deal, and so little Anakin would think that is normal/Jedi appropriate/wants to emulate his Master, so when Obi-Wan gets him child pajamas he wears them. But I also see Anakin as deeply texture sensitive - and prone to nightmares, which make him sweaty, and unused to regulating his body temperature in a way that makes sense for non-desert planets - so he'd actually really struggle with wearing all that baggy fabric and blankets to bed, and the fabric gets bunched up underneath him, and now he's lying on top of wrinkles, and if he gets sweaty then the whole thing is damp and soggy and uncomfortable...so he takes at least the top off, and that feels better, but Obi-Wan never does, so Anakin gets yet another (subtle, unspoken) impression that he's doing 'being a Jedi' wrong.

(And honestly so long as Anakin's not completely naked, I don't think Obi-Wan actually cares if he's only wearing pants, especially in his own room; this is not something Obi-Wan actually chastised Anakin for; it's all in Anakin's head that he's being judged.)

In the AotC deleted scene, we see Anakin sleeping in his clothes:

so either Obi-Wan didn't pack any pajamas for him (potential future headcanon discussion: how old is Anakin before Obi-Wan finally stops packing his suitcase for him) or Anakin took the whole 'travel as refugees' thing to heart and decided that refugees don't get pajamas, and really he's just staying in character. The next time we see him asleep, he's at the Naberrie family vacation villa:

There's our topless boy! Is he wearing pajama pants under there? Difficult to say for sure but I'm leaning toward yes, both because of his generally awkward nature and the fact that he's trained to jump into action at any moment in case of danger.

By the time he's gone outside to meditate he's put a shirt on, unfortunately:

Is this a pajama top, or just his regular tunic? If it is his regular tunic, why is it XXL? That is not where shoulder seams generally go. Does Obi-Wan think he's still growing and is tired of replacing his shirts every six months so he's still doing the, 'it's too big now but you'll grow into it' thing?

In any case, why are Jedi so into beige; I know we (rightly) make fun of teen Ahsoka's tube top but at least the girl has an appreciation for color.

So far, though, I'm going with, Anakin will sleep in pants, at least while at other peoples' houses, but prefers not to wear a shirt. I would imagine this would probably hold while he's with the 501st, too, that he needs to be ready to spring into action at any moment but who cares if his troops see his bare chest (and, again, maybe this is just me, but this is where I see him slowly adapting to wearing more of what the clones wear, just because there's so much of it, and yes they're shorter than he is so the leggings only come up to his calves but this is would not be a dealbreaker for him).

In RotS, I have to assume that we're meant to assume Anakin is buck-ass naked under the covers here and the only reason he's wearing pajama pants here:

is because this is a PG-13 movie. I mean, he's off-duty and in bed with his wife. Yes I know she has her hair done and is wearing a silk nightgown with pearl sleeves (??) but, again, kids movie. Why on earth would Anakin be sleeping in pants otherwise.

Around Obi-Wan, though, before they get together: pants on, shirt off. (He's trying to flirt with the man, after all.) After they get together: clothes just get in the way. Anakin expects this of Obi-Wan, too, and looks so hurt the first time Obi-Wan tries to put his pajamas back on after sex that Obi-Wan course-corrects and gets into bed naked. "If you're cold, I'll warm you up, Master," and Obi-Wan doesn't have the heart to say no (also, Anakin is very warm). They have pajamas, but they're for, like, morning and evening lounge wear (and Anakin's still does not involve a shirt).

Obi-Wan does, however (eventually, slowly) manage to teach Anakin the fun of taking your partner's clothes off slowly, piece-by-piece, as opposed to popping buttons and ripping them off as fast as he can. This is both fun and has the added benefit of extending the life of Obi-Wan's wardrobe and keeping him from needing to break out his sewing kit quite so often (Anakin still leaves them piled on the floor though).

Throwing it back to you, @underacalicosky and anyone else who wants to play :) Agree? Disagree?

[thetownwecallhome]

TNBC Shower Thought: Comparing the worst to best TNBC posters

((OOC:

I know how much you love my pedanticy-pedantics about unimportant TNBC details and reviews. Or, at least, I think you like em and none of you have told me to can it yet...

So I figured in the spirit of that and Christmas season, why not compare some of Nightmare Before Christmas's movie posters? Comparing posters and covers is a fun activity for me. There different kinds of posters and cover art throughout the years for all sorts of things that are great at subtly, creativity, minimalism or just being a good cover overall. One day I hope to compare some of the Walt Disney features' many fantastic poser art for their films, but for now lets stick to Nightmare.

I'm starting from the bottom to work my way up into the GREAT stuff. Lets not waste anymore time...

This is easily the worst cover for the film and what I hate is that it's the most current cover. I already hate when they try to make the clipart we're used to all shaded and three dimensional-like, but just...LOOK AT THIS?!?!

Who thought THIS looked good? Honestly?!? The characters are all way too colorful and smooth and it's plastered on top of the film cel like it fits together...it DOESN'T!!!

Next we have the 2008 DVD cover.

I'll try not too be too harsh on this one in case anyone here grew up with it...but I'm sorry I am so not a fan. It tells you nothing about the film and is more of that '3D-ish take on the og lineart that looks ugly to me.

The 2023 30th anniversary art is...fine?

Like there's nothing WRONG with it, but it feels incrediblly lackluster compared to some of the screen-capped and colored up artwork I've seen on things like T-Shirts and even fan made posters.

Also, and I hope this ISN'T true, it's so basic I worry that it at some point was made by or with AI or at least with an artist who wasn't paid that much in a short amount of time. Like, the composition is all there: Sally and Jack in the forground, Lock, Shock and Barrel under them and above the title, Oogie in the moon behind them all...but I don't know why they didn't do something really cool like make all the intricate purple and blue-shapes into silhouettes of the other characters and other iconic imagery or scenes?

Look at how...ALONE Zero feels off the side there!!

This is another older image I remember on the back of my VHS growing up, though I never knew it was used for an actual cover of the movie.

It does INFINITELY look better than the first shaded-lineart image (this was done in the 90s...how...) but while I love the composition of Jack and Sally and them walking around in Christmas Town, I never liked the colors of the image at all.

I also never got why Lock, Shock and Barrel are there, chillin and watching them like they're Belle and Beast and they're Beasts' servants trying to wingman for him...Where's Zero? Everyone knows HE'S jack's wingman.

This is an image I found on IMDB that took my by surprise. To be honest I have no clue if it's an actual film poster or a fan poster, but I like the composition of it all as a Universal Horror film poster. Doesn't work as well as Frankenweenie, but still...

And now, the classic. The one you most certainly grew up seeing everywhere or around the place regarding this movie in the 90s or 20s. It's the cover to the soundtrack and VHS I had. This is obviously the most famous version.

But there's also this slightly different version with Jack's arms in a different pose 'to receipt Shakespearean quotation'. This is the same version of the cover used on our "The Film, the Art and the Vision" book as well.

But, for my own PERSONAL favorite cover of the film (even if it's just a simple photoshop), I have to go with the original 'special edition' DVD my sister and I still have.

Somehow Sally just being on the spiral hill next to Jack and holding his hand is so sweet and doesn't feel like the cheap and quick edit it is. I think it's because, despite being a reference to the scene I never saw this cover as directly portraying "Jack's Lament", that this was Jack having a nice moment of peace after the events of the films somehow and waxing his poetics in reference to the film...so somehow the idea of Sally coming up to join him in that with his other arm let out to her is ADORABLE.

Here's a different version on a French DVD.

Lastly, since it does technically count as a poster for the movie itself, I'd be remissed not to mention Nightmare Before Christmas 3D's poster. This this was great back in the day and it's still great now. I'm fairly certain they just photoshopped stills and photos of puppets themselves but y'see kids- THIS vvvv

This is how you photoshop. Everyone has a unique face and pose. Everyone's doing something you think that character would be doing if they were going to MT3K their own film (Sally that's rude!) and they're all drenched in theater accurate lighting. That's more like it!! Besides Oogie being smol, this is the perfect poster to catch the eye of a rerelease!

Hope you enjoyed!

))

[neon-draws-sometimes]

big killer chara’s code in soul deletion fic wip

authors note: this is still under constructions and some of the scenes aren’t really connected properly or have place holders [like this]. Keep that in mind lol. Also don’t read if you don’t want this fix spoiled ig??

anyways.

Summary [wip]: Core, who’s befriended Killer, discovers mysterious  edited code in him. Core investigates further and realizes this code is responsible for Killer accepting the deal with Chara, and decides to take the manner into their own hands.

.

It was strange, the way Killer first became Killer.

He remembered standing there in the Justice Hall, will as strong as either. Prepared to face his death over and over.

He died.

He remembered.

That wasn’t normal at all, and for a moment, Sans considered giving up. But no. No amount of torture could make him work with them, become a disgusting killer.

“Fine. I’ll work with you.”

It came out of nowhere, just a few loops later. Sans covered his mouth in shock. It didn’t feel like he had said that.

Chara looked annoyed. Sans could tell they knew he wasn’t actually going to do it, even if he had technically said he would.

Then, a couple loops later, Sans seriously considered it. He was bored, agonizingly bored.

He looked at the kid’s face. They looked smug, like they knew what they had done had finally worked.

Sans felt this strange dissonance between his resolve to not work with that freak and his painful boredom. Something felt wrong, really wrong. Sans had never felt this before.

Sans walked up. And shook their hand.

***

Killer lay on the carpet, reflecting about his past. This was something he usually preferred to distract himself from, but recently Core Frisk had him thinking about it. They were talking a lot to him lately, trying to help him. It was a wasted effort of course, Killer couldn’t be helped. But still, they were determined to try and fix him.

Killer was annoyed at first by them, but it was nice to have someone to talk to honestly. Killer didn’t like to bother his Boss or coworkers with pointless stuff like this.

***

“Killer, I have something to tell you.”

He got that same strange feeling he had all those years ago with Chara, like something was off.

“There’s… there’s something in your code that shouldn’t be there. I’m removing it.”

“That isn’t funny.”

“…”

“Kid…?”

“Sorry Sans, this is for your own good,” They said earnestly, moving their hand like they were pressing a floating object only they could see.

Killer tried to tell them to stop, but it was too late. His soul seized, and with a painful feeling, began to warp into a heart shape, becoming lighter in color as it went.

Killer screamed, half in shock and half in pain, and collapsed to his knees. His vision blacked out.

***

Killer woke up in his room in the castle, tightly griping the sheets. Beside the bed, Nightmare and Core Frisk argued.

“I’m helping him!” 

“You cannot just alter a persons soul like that!” Nightmare retorted. “You didn’t even ask his permission, did you?”

“I didn’t alter his soul, I just deleted the foreign code in him!”

“…which caused his soul to change.”

“Indirectly!”

Killer moaned and tried to sit up. Immediately both parties stopped their argument and surrounded him.

“Killer, are you alright?” Nightmare crouched down next to Killer’s face.

“You feeling alright now, buddy?” Core looked hopeful to Killer, probably thinking the pain was just a temporary side effect. 

… it definitely wasn’t. His chest still stung and he felt his black tears emptying from his sockets at a rapid pace, quicker than they ever normally had.

Nightmare stood up and left the room, presumably to get a towel.

Killer looked at Core Frisk. Core Frisk looked at Killer. They continued their impromptu staring match until Nightmare came back, setting a towel on Killer’s lap.

Killer started to sweat.

Core Frisk and Nightmare were shouting again, probably starting their argument over, but Killer could barely hear them over the feeling of wrong in his gut.

Killer began to heave.

***

“H-huh?”

Alphys was still half asleep. She sat up in bed, rubbing her eyes.

“His soul. I think there’s something wrong with it.”

“I-oh, sorry. I’m sorry. Is it-“

“Get over here. Now.”

Alphys felt a cold chill down her spine hearing those growled words. She tried to remind herself Nightmare was probably just afraid for Killer, but she couldn’t shake her anxieties completely. 

She quickly pulled on her lab uniform and bolted through the portal. 

.—-

Alphys held her modified stethoscope to Killer’s soul, trying to focus despite the frantic whispers of the Frisk variant and Nightmare.

She heard something strange, like a churning sound. Alphys thought of the liquid pouring faster than she ever remembered from his face and his heaving and coughing and had a realization. [lalala wip]

“Uh, ahem. I think I know what’s wrong.”

[they don’t hear.]

“G-guys?”

[too busy arguing, getting nowhere]

“Hey!”

[still no.]

“HES PREGANANT !!11! [ican’t resist I need to make this joke.]

They both stared at her, mouths agape. Killer also looks mildly concerned, like he might’ve believed it.

“J-just getting your attention, haha. Sorry. Um. He’s fine, it just seems like his soul is expelling all this… what was it?”

“Corrupted determination.”

“A-ah. Right. And it’s weird, because his soul seemed fine with it before… but, u-um. Now he’s. Expelling it, via increased flow from his facial offices. His soul is kinda. Throwing up. It’s pushing up all the, um, liquid, a-and. Well,” She stopped herself there, not having thought of how to actually end the sentence. 

“So, he is going to be fine?” Nightmare asked quickly.

“Y-yup. He should be totally fine,” She quickly added, “But, I’ve. N-never seen something like this so. If he does anything weird call me I guess?!”

—-

Nightmare gets worried and calls the outcode scientist alphys. She’s like he’s fine physically his body is just expelling the toxic substance.

—-

——

“So it wasn’t my fault,” he mumbled. “[], it wasn’t my fault?”

____

Ok so killers only hobby other than being annoying was killing people. He legit has a giant gap in his life. Bro needs a hobby

“…you sure have a lot of free time now that yer not killin’ people n all.” -horror

Everyone glares at him

“what? S’ true.”

[oddygaul]

It's What's Inside

The premise is immediately fascinating, and really got my head spinning with all the possibilities: what if someone’s consciousness is accidentally sent into two bodies, with another person’s lost en route? What if someone lies from the jump and refuses a switchback, leaving everyone unsure of who’s really who? And then, the idea It’s What’s Inside lands on: what if someone dies while they’re switched? The whole thing is a fucking nightmare scenario, honestly, and it’s so spellbinding to watch it play out that it’s easy to forgive the characters for any classic horror-movie stupidity.

Aside from the concept, the other thing that sets It’s What’s Inside* apart is its aesthetic. As a largely character-focused bottle movie, it could’ve sustained itself solely on its writing and its (surprisingly good) acting. Instead, it delivers its tale with a constant visual flair: lots of weird transitions & camerawork, clever visual metaphors**, and intense, surreal lighting & color work that serve to heighten the mood and clarify the movie’s tangled setup. The house being a repository for weird installation art is a fun throwaway excuse to build a set filled with weird shit and eye-catching backdrops. Finally, the soundtrack was very well-curated – there’s a lot of classic, melodic music here like Servizio Fotografico that lends a distinct sense of grandiosity and melodrama to the proceedings.

*setsitswats **Like, the scene where Cyrus tries to win back Shelby in Nikki’s body, as Shelby’s own face looks on impassively in the background like a specter, like some second version of herself passing judgment? Love that imagery.

The ending was certainly the weakest part; I like that Beatrice ultimately succeeded in her dastardly scheme, but the fates of the remainder of the cast felt less cohesive to me.

Gotta say, though, I went on reddit after watching this, just out of interest, and it is very funny to me how incensed that demographic got about the ending. So many takes about how Cyrus didn’t do anything wrong and wasn’t really a bad person, how normal his behavior was for a healthy relationship, how Shelby really was just such a stupid bitch… gotta love people telling on themselves online.

Plus, lots of comments taking the ending as an endorsement of the characters’ behavior. These days, there’s a lot of folks that seem to treat all stories as morality plays, and I think there’s a particular wont to do so for horror movies. When the characters are so tropey and the stakes are so clear, there’s a certain appeal to having everyone get what they deserve in the end, with the virtuous rewarded and the sinful punished in spectacular ways. But, you know… not every story works that way.

Beatrice driving off into the night isn’t a ‘girlbosses stay winning ending’, it’s supposed to be bleak – the villain won this time. Shelby’s speech to Cyrus at the end isn’t a fist pump hero moment, it’s kind of dark – yes, Shelby’s finally gotten out of a toxic relationship and learned to stand up for herself after experiencing the world through someone else’s eyes, but it’s come with a scary, vengeful streak.

It’s a body swap movie quite literally about seeing how different someone else's experience of life can be – shouldn’t it be obvious that the characters will have more nuance than just ‘good’ or ‘bad’?

[annbourbon]

Well hello folks! It's that time of the year again! And here's my 2023 movie list, keep on mind I actually made the effort to watch movies I have never seen before, even though they're old... so even if you already watched them because they're classics, I didn't until now.

I actually need to get some books to read but for now binged all these days to watch 31 movies & series in a couple of days.

1. Mask Girl (K-Drama, series)✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

Okay this series was amazing. I've been a fan of Orange Caramel even though they're now disbanded, so seeing Nana back on the scene was so cool. But that's not all, honestly:

* Insane plot, made me gasp a couple of times and I've been into K-Drama for a while now so...

* I was actually rooting for Kim Mo-mi the whole time, but also I couldn't find myself to hate the other characters because the actors are so good<3

* Did I mention Nana is there?

* It has so many layers and many points of view which makes it so interesting to watch

I'm not saying anything else because I highly recommend this one.

2. The Platform (movie) ✅⭐⭐

A bit boring at times but quite interesting too. I watched it because someone recommended it to me. I was so disappointed with the ending but at the same time I understood why it finished the way it did. I'm not going to watch it again though. Definitely hated it.

3. Scream (movie, 2023 ver.) ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

Since I already watched the original one. This one was awesome. I loved the original cast coming back, and also, Jenna Ortega 😍😚

4. Suspiria (remake)✅⭐⭐⭐

I got bored lol it is aesthetic but not a lot. I prefer the school on the original movie. Like, it's so pretty...

Actually I got, really bored at some parts. I wanted the whole ballet concept to be more... macabre and beautiful. They could have put anything else and the idea would have been the same.

I enjoyed the dance. But it's not classical ballet. I'm giving it an extra star because of the aesthetics. It's not creepy or scary. Just another film. Some parts are awesome but mostly... bland.

5. The Deep House ✅⭐⭐

I think, I was disappointed. It's one of those old school movies, you either love it or hate it. I ended up disliking it a lot because it felt kind of lazy. There was no message behind, there was no reason for me to actually care about them as characters, and BTW, the dude there, he was sooooo toxic. I ended up hating him the whole movie except for his last moments. I really don't recommend this one lol but here you have me, trying to find something different.

Well, sometimes it works. Sometimes it doesn't.

6. Doctor Sleep ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

I need to be honest, he's still one of my first celebrity crushes. So I might be a bit biased. But I loved the movie. Before you say anything to me, I have watched The Shinning already.

7. Gothika ✅⭐⭐

I might as well be honest. I saw this movie when I was a kiddo. But I had a lot of nightmares about it. Still, now I got to watch it fully. And I realized that it's not as intense as I thought it was. I mean, yes. It has some scenes. But I'm a Hannibal Lecter and Criminal Minds fan now lol it's kind of difficult to get past that.

8. Dreamcatcher ✅⭐⭐⭐

It started pretty average and I was expecting nothing from it. But it got better. And really scary. I hated the bathroom scene but also loved the whole movie.

9. Only Mine ✅⭐⭐⭐

Scary but because it's based on a real story. The movie is pretty decent.

10. Train to Busan ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Was so cool 💕 😢 more than scary it was inspiring me a lot. IDK how to explain it. But I'll be watching it again because *feelings*

I think it's becoming one of my favorite horror movies.

11. Annihilation ✅⭐⭐

Mmmmm I fell asleep. Had to watch it again. And it was not that interesting. I loved the colors though. If I have to say anything about it lol 💤😴

12. Psycho (1960) ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I can't believe it took me so long to watch this one!!! I love this movie I swear. It's such a good one. It's not as scary as I thought it would be but I think that's a "me" problem lol since it seems like I'm so used to scary things nothing really scares me anymore.

However, the suspense was so in point and I can't even believe that I was holding my breath. Like, how? This movie is so old no? It should be boring and all that uh? Well it doesn't matter. Hitchcock definitely knew his way around. It caught my interest and hold me captive till the end of the movie. I didn't even start scrolling my phone or got bored!

Sure there are a couple of plots that can be "fixed" because we now have better phones and technology, but the whole movie it's timeless. It definitely holds. I loved it. A lot. That can't be said of several other movies and tv shows.

13. Constantine ✅⭐⭐⭐

Not really scary. But really cool. I was having a crush over Tilda Swinton the whole time lol sadly she doesn't get to have a lot of screentime but I repeated her scenes for a while before going to the next movie.

14. Beowulf ✅⭐⭐

By now I'm getting tired AF of bloodbaths. Like it's not even scary. It's disgusting and tiresome. I want to see something else. I really did not enjoy the movie. I'm starting to realize that binging on a certain genre can desensitize a person and it certainly feels like I'm way over it. I remember the movie but I can't remember anything that is worth of comment. Except, maybe... that Beowulf is an asshole, so is the king, and apparently the next king will do the same thing and everyone there deserved what happened to them except ofc the people in town and kids. I don't think I liked the story or movie at all. 💀

15. Disturbing Behavior ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

Okay so James Marsden and Katie Holmes are so cute together. And they're literally kids here. It was a bit awkward lol but I enjoyed the movie. It's kind of interesting and definitely talks about how society pressures you on behaving in a certain way. All that while making a scary movie. Which is why I might've ended up liking it a bit more than the others. Interesting how parents were so on board with this behavior too. Anyway, since I'm on a marathon I don't really have a lot of time to analyze it as much as I usually do. I probably won't be watching it again, but it's a good movie to analyze and enjoy for a while. For real.

16. The Exorcist (original) ✅⭐⭐⭐

Now we're getting serious lol or not...

Honest reaction

Before the movie>> I'm so scared of it 😭😿😱

During and after the movie>>> wow... It's so... meh 😑

I was a bit distracted during the whole movie. And it's not that scary. Just sad, long, boring and disappointing. Nothing else to comment.

My brother said that I needed to appreciate it a bit more since it's an old movie, but honestly... I prefer Psycho to the Exorcist. Like, I get it. Old movie. Different type of special effects and all that. But still, the whole thing, even the characters feels kinda flat? Nvm the spoilers. I received a similar amount of spoilers from both movies and I still enjoyed Psycho more. I did laughed a lot. But it's not supposed to be a comedy movie 😭🤣

17. 12 Monkeys ✅⭐⭐⭐

TT~TT okay? I really cried for a while. And I had to take some days off because of this one. I started watching other series, kdramas and stuff that made me laugh and forget about this one.

18. Ghost Ship ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

I remember seeing this one everywhere when I was a kid and my parents trying to make sure I didn't watch it. One of the reasons I finally got my hands on it and watch it lol

I really enjoyed it. I was so sad about the girl on the ship. And I usually do not like slashers but somehow I ended up loving this one. Definitely is going to be one of my favorite movies from now on.

19. The exorcism of Emily Rose ✅ ⭐⭐

Boring at the beginning but interesting after 30 minutes into the movie. Which in a way, it's not good lol but let it be. I was thinking to call the Winchesters all the time.

Mmmm I think these two are one of the reasons I stopped disliking horror movies.

The other one would be Fi from So Weird

Which TBH is the original reason I stopped disliking ghosts and monsters. I joined Fi team first before Supernatural. Supernatural was me being edgy and sarcastic all the way, especially on my worse days. But Fiona, she's the one I truly aspired to be. Now I think I'm a mix of both and it's okay. I still prefer Fi over the Winchesters because she gives everyone a chance to be. I mean, I love the brothers a lot... okay not the point of this lol sorry... Ummmm I think you can see I got distracted while watching the movie. 💀🤣

Interesting though, a mix of lawyer-ish fight with "medical terms" and all that in a demonic possession case. Different P.O.V. sure. It definitely makes more sense than the Exorcist where the story ends without anyone (no cops, no lawyers, no other authorities) involved despite several people dying.

"Touched by the hand of God" they said. And believe me when I said "ew" during that part 😭🤣 I wasn't even trying to be funny. Seriously though... there's only one thing I despise more than movie slashers. Religion, especially inside movies. And inside books too. I was so disappointed by Susan's problem when I found out what it was about. I also spent almost my entire childhood inside several Catholic and Christian schools. Most of the time being bullied by everyone there. Please lol I can't stand them (I do realize that not everyone is like that but it left a huge trauma on me so I can't stand those things.) The fun part is, I don't have anything against religions. Just against hypocrisy and lack of comprehension. Still, it's okay for a movie. One or two hours of it won't be bothering me so much. Didn't scare me. But made me uncomfortable. I wish I could hear more about Dr. Adani (?) P.O.V. though.... I believe I will have to watch Heroes (series) for a similar take on that.

20. The Barcelona Vamp ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

This was... triggering. And not about vampires. But about CP and apparently a real case. Obviously Hollywood has its own take on this so I can't say anything about it until I do my research on the real deal. But the whole movie was interesting and also very, very triggering. Really scary. Some scenes were too uncomfortable to watch so I had to pause it several times. Why? These things are so so close to us and people, sometimes people we know, keep hiding these things from us. Maybe the Barcelona Vamp was innocent. Maybe it wasn't. The only thing that it is true is that nothing like this happens without another one getting involved too. Another one keeping silence. Someone refusing to act. That's how bad it is. Not the movie ofc.

I love the use of color and the use of black and white too. It's definitely a good film. The dialogues... they were too realistic. Sadly. I have known people that say things like that. That keep blaming it onto the victims no matter if they're 40 or 6 years old. Don't watch this movie if child abuse triggers you. While it is not graphic it definitely makes you uncomfortable. And it should. Another thing to say about this movie: the original language is in Spanish. And when I saw it on HBO the English subtitles were lacking. So were the subtitles in Spanish. So either you learn/practice your Spanish or you'll need to find CC and the mp4 file too. To make sure you get it otherwise you'll be missing half of the story.

21. Dracula (1979)✅ ⭐⭐⭐

Okay the whole time I was so into the aesthetics. But sometimes I found it funny. Mmmm but I decided to give it a go because it was an old movie. Honestly it wasn't that bad. A bit cringe but kinda okay. The aesthetics were really pleasing tho.

22. Army of the Dead ✅⭐⭐

I started watching it because... it looked fun. Zombieland type of fun.

The OST is awesome. I'm not taking this movie seriously. I don't know why... oh yeah okay... now I kind of understand why.

Okay it has a lot of tits and a lot of blood in the very beginning. If this is how's gonna be... or not. Oh... it gets better after the first minutes 😜 A bit of character development...

I like this idea of zombies being strong and somewhat more fast. Like Korean zombies.

I fell asleep. Again... *sighs* this is ridiculous. I'll have to rewatch just... I'm not sure...

I'll be back. Let me do a quick rewatch.

Zombie tiger Valentine was awesome. Smart zombies? Cool!!

I think I'm bored...

I mean, it's a cool movie. But I prefer Zombieland.

They're supposed to be great at shooting, so why do they spend so many bullets on killing one zombie if they already know to aim for the head?

I'm rooting for the king. He actually seems decent.

Ohh no they killed his baby 😭

They should pay for it.

Okay... okay, wait a second lol I'm getting an idea...

Why there are no movies with zombies as main characters where the humans are the bad ones?

I mean, we have all what it takes: Usually someone, a doctor, trying to play God, and making a human turn into zombie. The whole zombie apocalypse goes on because they kill the family of subject Zero and all that.

This movie deserves another star just cause the OST is really awesome. Seriously. I'm not going to give it one more though lol the whole thing was quite disappointing.

23. The Fall of the Usher House (Netflix series) ✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

Okay I saw this whole series in what? Two days? The adaptation was incredibly well done. I'm aware that the story on the book is different but I quite enjoyed the show. Although it's quite graphic. So there's my trigger warning ⚠️ if anything lol honest question, do we need trigger warnings for horror movies?

Carla Gugino's still one of my unexplained crushes, she is still as beautiful as the day I saw her for the first time, does she have a fountain of eternal youth hidden somewhere? Anyway, it surprised me how good she's within the horror genre. To be honest I haven't followed her in years but now she captured my attention so I definitely will be paying attention from now on.💕

I actually screamed during Tammy's death. Her acting is truly on point. It made me feel everything that the rest of the Ushers couldn't. Considering how tired and how much I've disassociated these weeks to be able to watch horror movies every day, I think you can say she's the best of the best.

Ironically, she wasn't even my favorite character but Aunt Madeleine and Camille who I felt they were so alike. And in a way I kept admiring them. And also Lenore but for different reasons. Still I felt captivated by the whole series. Aunt Madeleine monologue is wow! But Tammy's death and the way it was presented to us, I truly felt like I was inside with her. Grieving and feeling all that. I couldn't stop watching despite how much I wanted to.

24. Mary Shelley's Frankenstein✅⭐⭐⭐

It made me jump several times 😭🤣 but I can't quite put my finger on why... maybe because it was raining while I was watching the movie. Maybe because the timing was so on point every time the lightening strikes inside the movie, the same thing happened here...

Anyway this is my first time watching Frankestein and the aesthetics are so good 😍💖 also.. Helena Bonham Carter is there!? And considering how good Kenneth Branagh was playing Gilderoy Lockhart I really found hilarious and on point sawing him play Victor Frankenstein too.

25. #Alive✅⭐⭐⭐⭐ ⭐

What a movie! I wonder if this is tied to Train to Busan and All of us are Dead. I mean, technically it's not. But the fandom can always take upon it and make it a thing. It has happened before lol right?? Please someone needs to make it a thing 😭 even if it's just a fanfic or something. I'll be so happy.

It keeps reminding me of coronavirus 😭

The guy is a good person but... why is he eating such a big ramen? He should be breaking it into small portions lol he really does not know anything about survival. Poor thing 😕 I shouldn't be laughing so much about it but... he's really stupid at times. If he survives it'll be a miracle lol

Oh... she's cute 🥺 kind and smart. She's going to die lol

They are so lucky to have each other. 🥺😭

Oof!

Okay... let's start counting how many times he actually screwed it off lol

Every time I think he's about to screw it off, he saves her lol and I like their dynamic so much 🥺😭 like, not really shipping them. Just, rooting for them and loving their friendship. That's a friendship right?

OMG she's so cool...

No way... see? This is why I enjoy Korean movies so much... their plot twists are insane...

🥺😭💕

26. Freaky✅⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

O.M.G. it's definitely one of the best movies I've seen in a while. Scary but original. And funny. I loved it. Great characters. Awesome development. Good acting. Made me laugh a lot and I was rooting for the heroine. But also... aw 🥺🤧 that ending... And the beginning! 😱💕

27. A nightmare on Elm Street ✅⭐⭐⭐

It's a great movie. Seriously. But I had to pause it several times because I felt sleepy... really sleepy. Which is so weird because I usually don't feel like that while watching a horror movie.

Anyway I found odd watching Johnny Depp as a kid 🤣 but I was rooting for Nancy's character all the way.

28. The Wizard of Oz ✅ ⭐⭐

Aw... cute singing...

Toto what!? 😱 Well...

I'm not sure I liked the movie lol it felt like.... why are they singing so merrily about the death of the witch!? I feel like they're so mean 😭💀

.... Did Glinda just decided to make Dorothy part of her beef against Elephie? (Ignoring the musical plot ofc) they're so mean lololol

Pretty sure lions and tigers are not part of the forest 😭🤣 okay maybe there are tigers on the rainforests. But pretty sure you won't find one... in middle of the forest. Nvm. I realize it's supposed to be a movie... sorry about that lol

Ohhh that last part when they are all together, facing their worse fears together. It's so cute.

I love the hourglass. It's red!! 😍 so pretty.... the movie is cringy lol but the songs are catchy. The red shoes are marvelous too 😍

And that's it. I don't like this movie lol but the songs are awesome.

29. Cirque du Freak ✅⭐⭐

Ken Watanabe!? Josh Hutcherson, John C. Reilly, Salma Hayek and William Dafoe!? How come I didn't watch this first!? 😭😱 looks so cool...

The intro is so long... but kind of interesting lol

I was eating... lucky me, I don't really get nauseous or sick of watching gross things. I used to watch Dr House or Hannibal when I was a kid while I was eating. That's how strong my stomach is lol

... Is it just me or Evra looks a bit like Ross Lynch here? I love Ross Lynch.... maybe that's why lol

Being honest it was below average. But I also liked it. So... the stars do not say how much, because then it'd be a 3 or 4 but the movie deserves only two.

30. Suspiria (original)✅⭐⭐⭐⭐

The aesthetics are so 😍💕

Did I mention I'm a Dario Argento fan? Okay, I'm a new fan lol like, I'm barely starting with his movies and all that, but still, he's the only one who has actually made me feel so excited and terrified at the same time. Like actually screaming and keep me horrified for several minutes. I loved Phenomena with Jennifer Connelly. Suspiria seems like a dream and a nightmare at the same time.

She looks like Lily Collins 😳

God... the aesthetics... that blue, and those walls... 😍💖

It's actually ballet! 😭😚

The music gives you an actual headache...

Are they trying to drown her!? That diet seems so... lol still... I wish there was a school like that. Minus the bloodbath ofc

lol I like how Susy prefers to sleep before spying on the teachers. I'd be pissed irl because there's nothing better than a mystery but... the movie's making me laugh a little with that. I think they're putting something on her food though.

Okay Susie's definitely taking pills to sleep, you do recognize the signs after a while... I'm surprised I didn't notice before... but Sara keeps shaking her so much it's impossible for her not to be awake unless she's on drugs 😭

Omg...

Okay... the ending was a bit disappointing. But also good? Still, that makes me like the remake a bit more. Ummm... I think I like both movies now. I'm keeping this on first place because the aesthetics and music. Some parts are dark but nothing big if you're into horror movies. Still... I think I want to watch it again because of the aesthetics. *sigh*

31. (No title. I'll be watching a movie with a friend 😚💕)

🦇✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🎃 ✨ 🦇

My take: I'm usually a person who likes horror movies. A lot. But... I'm so tired of them RN so I definitely took some horror movies out to make it a bit more light and that's why I ended up watching The Wizard of Oz and Cirque du Freak. And I still ended up hating them lol that's how tired I am. I'm about to puke already. Seriously. Someone please get me something else to watch lololol

I am now looking for the original books of Oz after watching Return to Oz and The Wizard of Oz (which tbh I never saw the original one until now, but several animated ones, and I always found them so creepy I could not even.)

I'm definitely not going to watch horror movies in a while. I'm so done with it. Also, this is why I was struggling so much and couldn't find another movie to make it 31 to the point I almost fall asleep with most of them. I can't feel a thing with most of them. And I love Suspiria. I'm not going to watch anything else after this movie. Not right now at least.

I did enjoy the movie with my friend. I think it's one of the best things. Just because I spent almost 2 hours with that person. That already makes everything 1000% better.

Things that I've learned:

* I hate slashers, unless they're really good or do not have so many gory details. Or it's a bit more "elegant" lol idk how to explain it, except for me liking more Hannibal than a random freak with a knife. You guys get it no?

* My favorite Halloween movies are with ghosts, but I prefer psychological thriller movies.

* I can endure religions on movies but I hate them with passion.

* Monsters are not my thing because they usually are so brainless and so are the people around them trying to kill or run away from them. Use your brain! (This is why I'm a Ravenclaw -.-)

* American zombies suck. They're slow and boring. Please do not mention to me War Z. Korean zombies are awesome and they're the only reason I started watching zombie movies 💀 I like them fast.

* I will root for the brainy and most sassiest person in the room. If this one is killed I will root for the killer.

* I don't think I'll be celebrating Halloween with horror movies next year lol but who knows right?

* The winner of this list would be: Psycho. And in second place I'd be picking Freaky cause I really enjoyed that movie.

* I'm growing less and less fond of Halloween the more time it passes (not the idea itself, death and undead will never scare me but the whole horror show puts me a bit.... off now. I'm starting to understand my own roots a bit more too like being fond of this time of the year because it ends but not because of the horror, ya know what I mean? I'm getting old I think. Or maybe I'm coming back to the person I used to be.)

* Most horror movies and series lack of character development or something that makes it attractive and lets the audience feel compelled to root for them. That's why many people started rooting for the monster. It lacks humanity. They're just bloodbaths. It's boring.

* It took me so many hours to think of my costumes, design something somewhat decent, pull all the pics and watch movies at the same time 😭 🤣 it was fun but I won't be doing this again.

* I love autumn 🍂🍁🍂

* Somehow I'm more in touch with my feelings right now.

* Some movies and series actually made me feel inspired to go back and write!

* I really, really love autumn 🍂 it's just this cozy, nostalgic feeling. I'm trying not to cry whenever I see the sunlight through the leaves. 🍁

[vodid]

my toxic trait is looking at your art and thinking that i could do that too. everytime i try drawing Transformers it ends up lookin like a pile of metal that got ran over by two semi trucks blasted to cybertron and back then got the shit beaten out of it by Optimus Prime himself 😭

but fr though, how do you do it? like what kinds of shapes are they made of? how do all their weird alien metal parts move?

what may work for my style might not for you, as i've unfortunately learned through my years of yearning for/trying out another artist's skill, and that's okay. but i am very honored to be that kind of artist to you 💗 beating yourself up for not being like me won't help you, though 🥹 your art is great, regardless of if it looks like mine or not. i'm going on 7 years of doing this after all! (also i started with bayverse of all things 😵)

and honestly, a lot of it is just experimenting and finding what's right for you, what you need to improve/improvise on, and what you want out of your art. for me, i found that i have a very difficult time actually getting that sharp, blocky industrial style of robots down and eventually opted for a more organic, squishier look. but i do maintain their proportions as they're wildly different from a human's ghsdfsjs

you're already off to a great start doing exactly what i did to learn: redrawing screenshots from the shows. i learned most of what i know from tfp, with a lot of bayverse and g1 mixed in there. it took me about two years of that before i felt confident enough to start making original art consistently. it takes time (and tbf, i was still learning how to art in general when i started. so you really are off to a great start)

this is the kind of art i made in 2017:

massively different from my art now, right? through all these screenshots, i'd test out new ways to draw and color. at one point, every piece i made was trying something new. and it was okay if it didn't work out. means i know what not to do next time lol generally though, i'd NEVER do lineart. i mostly focused on building up my sketching and coloring skills, as seen here in my 2018 art:

and that kind of fucked me over for life so now i am left with painting over the sketch 😂 i digress though

in all honesty i've spent my entire art career figuring out how the fuck all their weird alien metal parts move 💀 a lot of it is BSing, some is recycling the same poses to make things easier on yourself and the rest is studying studying studying. cannot tell you the amount of times i've rewatched certain bayverse scenes frame by frame to figure out how all their parts move in tandem — i still don't know! 😅 g1 was a nightmare to figure out because of its blocky simplicity and limited range of motion. it's still a struggle to this day haha

it's really difficult how to explain how exactly i draw transformers, as it's just... something i do nowadays. there's not a ridiculous amount of thought put into it since i've built up my skill. but here's generally how i sketch their bodies and what shapes i use:

the first is slightly different as its a more detailed approach than g1 so just imagine the arms are a little rounder — "marshmallow," as my brother would call it — like the sketches in the second (even if those are a little more advanced in the process than the first)

my best advice to you is to learn their proportions and articulation via redrawing screenshots — various ones! i chose the most dynamic poses for my megatron practices in 2018 to nail it in my head lol but yes shows like tfp and earthspark are great for that (you could probably even do with looking at the storyboard animations for earthspark to help!)

and remember, i'm still learning too! i'm not gonna pretend like i know what i'm doing. but i'm glad i inspire you :)

[varshnarsh]

How do you get inspired? I feel like I'm in a creative rut right now...

i honestly find myself inspired by a few things— these really are just a few off my list but nowhere near the end. i often find inspiration in little details of my day, my emotions; it’s not always the same ways as i keep growing, but these are a few that have stayed the same for the past few years.

for writing:

i find a lot of my inspiration from dreaming. i have extremely vivid dreams every night, some nightmares and some sweet but there are always details that stick out to me; i am pretty good at remembering them so when i wake up i make sure to note them down and see what comes up with that.

i also consume a lot of creative work. i used to be so bad about reading, watching movies, etc. my anxiety used to waver and i’d end up rewatching the same old things but at the start of the year, i refreshed my attitude and i’ve been reading much much more, intaking new words, themes, metaphors— watching more movies and tv shows and grasping at the minute body language that dictate emotions, dialogue exchanges, how scenes are written— interviews or magazine articles from those who create, getting into their routines and how they create— whether i like whatever it is i’m consuming or not, i find a lot of fresh perspectives and that inspires me.

in design, or in general:

i like to rearrange my space every few weeks. moving things around physically for some reason gives me the opportunity to rearrange my own thoughts. i’m not sure why it works that way but it works. i also like to do a clean out both digital and physical. i unsubscribe to unnecessary emails, i delete old text threads, photos i don’t need (or i upload them to a drive and delete them off my phone), and i clean up my desktop. i donate clothes i don’t wear anymore to women’s shelters, i sell items around my place i haven’t used or just aren’t functional to me anymore, and i resell old books i didn’t enjoy from years ago that could benefit someone else more.

i do crossword puzzles and color. both these things indulge my inner child but by fulfilling my inner child’s creative needs, it opens up space for present me’s creative needs. crosswords work my brain in new ways, i’m constantly learning new phrases, and coloring in coloring books is a fantastic way of releasing tension and stress while finding colors or using different colors for things that are usually a specific one expands the boundaries of how i can create or what i can in terms of design.

[aphroditestummyrolls]

1, 15, 38, and 49 for the fic writer questions!

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

I already answered this one! This is what I said

Ummmm. Depends on the fandom, for sure! Getting into my writing in general, I’d say the To Be Human series for The Old Guard and Gaining Heart for Spartacus.

More recently, though? The Only Way Out (is through) for wesper and Colm. I am so in love with this story, and it really encapsulates a lot of the energy that I try to bring to all my writing— the introspection, the comfort after the hurt, the messy emotions that come with healing, support from both romantic and platonic relationships… and of course ✨Colm Fahey✨.

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

Ooooo. It’s an oldie 😅 it’s the Kes-Verse. My rewrite of the Star Wars sequel trilogy. Id still love to go back in and edit and rewrite some things, and finish up the last two stories in the series that I never posted! These stories were fuelled by rage at JJ Abrams and Rian Johnson, love for these characters that got so utterly fucked, and no small amount of desperation for a distraction from the pandemic. And my terrible relationship. And the nightmare of finishing my degree online. And needing to postpone my life. The stories in this series were a gateway into such wonderful friendships and helped me figure out so much about my writing style. (Kes Dameron walked so Colm Fahey could be the father he is today!)

The runner up is a toss up across a couple different fandom’s stories— The Old Guard’s Color and Light, the Mickey/Pierre fic I Travel Alone, and Keep You Safe for Six of Crows.

38. Did any of your fics get surprisingly popular (whatever that means to you)? Which ones? Why do you think they were so successful?

I had to check my AO3 stats for the past couple years to see if anything jumped out at me as odd. I mean, I was surprised by Time for a Spare Prayer. It was supposed to just be a fun little project to explore all of my Colm and The Crows headcanons, and to post in the in-between for Between Hope and Desperation, but it’s really taken on a life of its own. I’m so happy that people are enjoying it so much.

The other one that’s really shocked me is one that I haven’t even posted yet! The Jesper Honeypot Whump-shot has become something that I get requests and asks about, the snippets and moodboard have gotten quite a few notes, and people seem to be really excited for it. It makes me so happy— it was really just a little thing for myself, but it’s quickly morphing into a multi-chapter situation.

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it!

I have answered this one as well! Here’s what I said:

I’m one (ONE!!) scene away from finishing the next chapters of both Spare Prayer AND Between Hope and Desperation. So close. I’m also like, half a scene away from finishing the first section of the Jesper Honeypot Whump-shot, too, and I’m contemplating turning it into a multi-chapter fic (not sure though. But I’m really happy with how it’s turning out, and I’m getting really excited to post it!!).

And here’s a different little snippet, from the next chapter of Spare Prayer:

Jes didn’t even meet his eyes for a second before he was fully absorbed by that boy.

“You’re late.”

“And what’re you doing out of bed?” He asked, as if he wasn’t grinning from ear to ear at the fact that the lad was up and about.

“No one was there to keep me there.” Wylan replied from where he sat at an empty table. He reeled Jesper in by the buckle of his gun belt, craning up into a kiss. Colm took a swig of his beer.

“Mm.” Jes hummed, his lips smiling against the other lad’s— it almost pulled at his heartstrings. “Easy— I’ll just have to tie you up next time.”

Nevermind.

“Jesper Llewelyn Fahey.”

Honestly.

Thanks for playing! ❤️

[cornus27florida]

Just for fun, I want to share all the shennanigans in the discord about his 'permanently-cowlicked' like a broom dried in wrong angle style lmao... From Wiki, the hair explanation...

He has "permanently cowlicked" golden blond (although they have the same hair color, Leland has called his hair as "vomit-colored") hair that is made up towards the left, while some of it falls in bangs over his forehead; his hairstyle is described by the Cursed Princess Club to be "like a broom that dried at the wrong angle". 

So the starter is here the pic.. Credit to Suparcali !!! @https://www.tumblr.com/stardustfoureva @stardustfoureva^^

Frederick's hair is such ridiculous kind of style but he's the embodiment of Plaid 'Princes' hair joined to be one... And not only from the hair color from his father. I just realize recently!

Lance: base of the hair around the skull line, and near the ear

Leland: that 'upwoosh thing' that make his hair permanently cowlicked - come from the Plaid King but for Frederick he only has a part of hair that raise unlike all of the hair

Blaine: bangs which make his 'pony' hair longer than Lance while not raising like Leland. This the reason why his hair like a broom BUT not on calm - ordinary broom because upwoosh thingy. @randomgentlefolk sorry for the ping but I remember about your tips to drawing Frederick's hair = a broom hahaha

Random Quotes about Frederick's hair (and other Plaid 'Princes' in the extension) as the following :

His hair style such combination of his family members lmao And there Frederick hair has all complexities of plaid princes style Frederick ily sm but I wanna tell that drawing your hair is nightmare I love Frederick, favorite character, best boy...but his hair is a nightmare to draw Its her own fault to make him the secondary MC hahahh Thermidora can help with that - cut off come bits of hair and i'Ll be much better leland doesnt understans the complexities of his cut smh my heas Artist usually do all of those when for example working on an animated series or something

I find LambCat herself probably frustated, Frederick is the only character that has 5 poses of him in character design to draw his hair -> refers to character design in VOL 1

so : front, side left, side right, 1/4 (?) and back

so extra - aw all of his side are smiling softly!

wait, more accurate to say 1/8 on the left - 3/4 on the right (to show his face if look on right side), and complete half (1/2)

Very similar indeed, no one can't convince me otherwise Yup! Honestly all characters will have their fans heh, except maybe Leland unless they change his design and make him sexy hahha His younger version is sexy damn So much similar with Frederick espc that scene where he's blushing over baby Laverne FRED WITH RED EYES AAAGH NOOOOOOO Hoping no bald Fred Blaine should be chibi too He thinks hes too cool

Isolde please let your fabulous hair genes be strong to Fred

So his lovely golden hair will forever there like yours

I think baldness depends of the mother side so ... ISOLDE PLEASE

The closing post is random screenshoots of Plaid Princes :

[sherrymagic]

little proud moment because one year ago turning a blue nightmare like the BB makeout scene into THIS would have been absolutely impossible for me

i'm sure a lot of people did it better before but damn i was shocked at myself when i checked the file one last time before archiving it and noticed the difference. guess i had never fully realized how much work all of us gifmakers put into gif coloring before i could sense the drastic difference in my own work.

and thinking of how i couldn't have achieved this result this fast without the many tutorials i've read and incorporated into my own coloring process i feel so grateful for the gifmakers of tumblr, i've honestly never talked to one who wasn't willing to kindly share their knowledge. whether it's with tutorials or simple advices thrown here and there this community is really so helpful and i love it soooo much!

[eddie-brii]

Addiction

Warnings: 18+ musings of adult sexual situations but no full scene.

Authors notes

First off, I really hope you guys enjoy this, it's been a while since I've done any creative writing so bare with me. I'm working on a full length story related to this drabble, honestly this is almost a preview of what's to come. I'm just trying to make sure I have a few Chapters written before I start posting in case I hit a wall at some point. Plus my ADHD apparently enjoys making me work on three to four different fics at once. I'm also doing a lot of the editing and writing on my phone so if it looks weird on desktop, that's why. I may also be posting on to my AO3 and Fanfiction accounts as well so if you see this there, it's fine, it's me.

@108garys I'm sorry there's no Charlie yet but there will be.

Again, please enjoy!

Jason really couldn’t believe his luck, after surviving hell itself he would have never thought he’d end up addicted again.

It wasn’t the weed that gotten him like before, he was too clear headed for that. It wasn’t meth or heroin either, he’d never been that self destructive.

No, this was something entirely different and he didn’t think he could ever escape it.

It had all started in that damn hell hole, when he learned that the color brown could be beautiful and handsome at the same time. When he’d stared into it, their eyes, set in two different faces but so alike, as it held so many different emotions. He learned he’d craved hearing both a soft giggle and low chuckle.

He’d found he didn’t mind the soft touch of a smaller hand on his shoulder or a larger one helping him up, both had felt so fucking good on his skin in the dark. He’d traded between having a taller, broad set of shoulders at his back, a firm chest pressing against his, trapping him to the wall, and a smaller, shorter pair guarding him, he’d buried his head in those soft breasts at one point.

He’d been charmed by two accents, one barely there, until she was upset, not so different from his own. The other foreign but so familiar due to the war, he still slipped into his native tongue on occasion, both of them drawing him in, leaving him fucking bewitched, making him fall hard. By the time he’d realized what had happened, he was running back for the one, him, with the other, her, right on his heels, he knew he wasn’t the only one in this predicament.

He couldn’t be, not when a pistol fired right along with his rifle when a monster had come up behind the man they came to rescue. Not when an iron stake and a blade both came to Jason’s defense afterwards. Not when they almost lost her as the ground shifted, two sets of strong arms pulled her back up to safety, to them.

The hut had been a nightmare because he couldn’t keep track of them both, not with the creatures swarming them. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw both of them, her hair a mess as she clutched that damn blade, him clutching that damn iron spike, the same ones they’d saved him and each other with.

He remembered yelling at the fucking glow worms, because Jason was scared they were going to hurt the other man, then keeping his mouth shut when they pressed about her, he wasn’t going to let them take her away, not from him, not from them.

The weeks that followed had been fucking agony, they couldn’t talk about any of it, he couldn’t fucking touch them, couldn’t fucking kiss them. Then they were finally given the all clear and breathing space, when he’d found out he adored leaning up to firm chapped lips as much he did leaning down into soft full ones.

They finally could bring it up away from the others, if that’s you what you called it when they were in the showers. He was grateful the others hadn’t said anything when they started disappearing together, hadn’t brought up the whisker burn along his neck and the scratches on his back.

Been even more grateful when they had given the three privacy, they had finally started to fully work out what they were, his, theirs, if they’d both have him, and go over things that need to be said.

“I love you, both of you.” God, he’d sounded fucking lost and pathetic when he’d finally said it, head down, having no idea how to do this, how to love another person like this, let alone two.

He remembered two sets of hands pulling him in before they sealed his fate. “we love you too, Jarhead.”

“And we’re not letting you go.”

Since then the cravings had only gotten worse, better than he'd fucking imagined. Staying together had left a trail of questions from people they’d met, each had their own way of telling others to fuck off, to mind their own damned business. He could finally see other parts of them that made him sink deeper into this addiction, this feeling.

He'd gotten used their different scents, hers, herbs, honey and rain fall. His, spices, musk and earth. A heady combination that left him breathless at times, when he was surround by it in the sheets of their bed. Jason got used to the little things they did, the radio the other man listened to in the evenings, his expression when he was almost ready to release, to her tendency to get distracted by plants on walks and hikes, the sounds she’d make when he found the right spot inside her. He’d been able to watch them as they practiced their own faiths, one saying his prayers on his mat, the other as she danced in the full moon light, both at one point gesturing for him to join in. The things that had gotten them through that place, besides each other.

It didn’t matter how different they were from one another, they just fit together in ways that left him breathless, his hands in either long or short hair as they drew sounds from him that he had no idea he could make, he’d never thought he’d find someone to love him, let alone two people.

Jason lost his mind when he ended up in the middle, filling her wet heat and being filled to the brim by his length.

He couldn’t leave if he tried, both of them would find him before he’d get too far, both of them would be heartbroken, they’d never left each other behind, couldn’t, Semper fucking Fi.

He’d never be able to let this go, let them go. If this addiction was meant take him, so be it. He’d happily stay here, addicted to, in love, these two people, his two lovers, as long as he was alive.

[rueitae]

Season 1, Episode 9 the French connection caper for @csweekly

I am so late. The entire family has been sick.

But I am READY for the pain once again.

Dr. Bellum’s turn to make the slideshow. Her’s is very techy. Also, Chase I know he eats mints all the time, but for it to show up prominently in his profile that VILE created of you, that is something.

I’m sorry but i LOVE that Chase saved Zack’s cover I’m dying. This entire show remembers that not everyone knows everything and absolutely leans into it and it’s more fun than other shows that try this.

But they apparently don’t care about the cell phone she stole. They probably think she was talking to Chase the whole time which is actually a hilarious AU. Someone please write that.

“Carmen Sandiego isn’t working alone” *points to Player*

“Sounds like we have plan B as in bait” *AGGRESSIVELY points to Player*

The lucky cat coat my beloved. “It was on sale” truly one of the greatest lines ever.

You GO Julia. Gosh she’s such a good person. She tries to include Chase even after he’s been absolute trash to her. And she finally gets to let loose a bit. This argument is so good. Needed to be had for both of them. All season Julia has needed to get this out. And really it’s the first dose of reality towards Chase turning a new leaf. He’s not in charge like in Interpol. He may be an agent but hes been demoted down the food chain and having to come to terms with his attitude not jelling with ACME.

“Since you are Chief’s favorite” until Zack joins, apparently

Everyone is plotting something but it’s not what the person who says the line thinks. Chase thinks Carmen is plotting a caper when she’s actually at a loss for VILE leads and on vacation. Carmen thinks Shadowsan is plotting on how to get her back when he’s really planning to join her. Fantastic little exchange there.

Ivy predicts VILE’s next hq. The foreshadowing in this show.

I love the siblings in this scene. I have never seen any sequence of events so sibling in my life.

Also others have pointed it out but Carmen can’t relax. That is heartbreaking. Honestly her entire childhood simultaneously is filled with good memories and also is a complete nightmare. Get this girl a professional to talk to.

This scene where we find out how Coach Brunt feels did not properly fill me with absolute horror the first time. Now it does. It just makes me scream nooooo because Shadowsan had a clean getaway. And Chase might have been spared.

Okay. Yes. This scene. With the toothpaste. This is when I knew with absolute certainty that Chase was getting a redemption arc. Characters typically don’t get to be shown such self loathing and not turn it around in the end. And I developed a desperate desire to see him and Carmen work together (AND I GOT MY WISH).

Also vile brand toothpaste what the heck. Why does it exist lol

I’d pay money to know what was running through Player’s head when he read that note the first time, before he read it aloud to Carmen

Carmen no don’t smile this is not your average caper. For you to test your abilities.

The way we see that Chase has actual interrogation training when he chooses to use his head. A+ awful singing. He’s seen over half the Faculty now! That truth extractor is TERRIFYING. I use it in every fic.

Red Drone tapping on the window. Adorable. Simple. Effective.

OKaY casually BENDING METAL with her BARE HANDS

Aww red brings out Ivy's eyes but red is not Zack’s color lol! I would be terrified too Zack.

Love this scene. Chase is accusing Carmen of everything and she just sounds so kind as she rescues him. She knows it’s not true and she’s okay being the bad guy as long as others are safe.

Reminding the audience that Carmen has a taser.

First time seeing the pen! At this point I can’t help but see Carmen’s stress here and think she has to know that the status quo is changing. She looks like a deer in headlights. Already in way over her head.

Also he’s heavy lol. Carmen is very obviously strong and she struggles to pull Chase deadweight. I don’t blame her it’s hard to do. The fact that she makes headway is impressive.

The way Brunt finishes that sentence, “too late” I tell you I am never prepared for what is to come. This entire sequence is just *chefs kiss*. The absolute methodical way that Brunt corners Carmen, isolates her, strips her of all of her agency, makes her helpless. TEARS THE COAT IN HALF!!!!!! It’s SUPER EFFECTIVE. I know it’s already been pointed out but it’s such a parallel to her childhood but now Carmen sees the truth of it all.

And I just really love a good whump scene.

Also, friendly reminder that Player. Heard. EVERYTHING. Sign him up for therapy too.

The moment Carmen realizes what’s about to happen is the moment she can’t breathe.

Shadowsan didn’t even need to see Ivy to realize that Carmen was back at the warehouse. It still astounds me how fast he was. I also love how intense he is up until he can’t any longer. It’s like it’s so hard for him to drop this act that he’s played for so long.

Again. Player heard everything. The terror of hearing your best friend in a fight for her life and there’s literally nothing he can do.

Ahh and the gradual realization that Shadowsan’s not who he seeeeeems. The view of Carmen not dead. The broken lock. The way he visibly softens as he tells her to follow him. The way he gets uncomfortable under her questioning now that he can’t hide behind his gruffness. I am absolutely delighted every time I watch this I remember being SO shocked and thrilled the first time I watched this. It’s the joy of seeing everything fall into place plot wise. So satisfying.

“There is nothing more to tell” LIAR

Carmen’s joy when she gets confirmation the coat was empty!!! AND Shadowsan being GENUINELY proud of her instead of upset about it please. I know considering the circumstances in which he found her, that Shadowsan would consider himself far from her father figure. But it’s the role he was given in life. And he’s TRYING.

“You knew what they’d do to me when I said no” it’s only after the confrontation with Coach Brunt that Carmen can really understand why Shadowsan did what he did.

The way skeptical Player still apologizes to Carmen in empathy that Shadowsan leaves. (Lol Player is so unapologetically on Carmen’s side to call Shadowsan the worst even after all of that. Considering the nightmare scene in the lucky cat caper there have been Talks and this is just what best friends do gosh I wish we had a scene where Player grills him but also he respects that’s Carmen’s agency so urghhhh) (also also it’s cute Player calls Chase a detective rather than agent in a nice homage to the older CS iterations) And we see the gift of a new hard drive. It’s. This is SUCH a perfect season finale. Enough answers to respectably tie off many s1 plot points but with the hard drive and Shadowsan’s dodgy answers leaves plenty of promise for the next season.