#HOLY HELL IF THAT HAPPENED I WOULD JUST CEASE TO EXIST

[wikitpowers]

kit comforting ty by asking him "tell me what you need" and ty replying with "there’s only one thing" and kissing him senseless [audible scream]

[amywritesthings]

dating on airplane mode. | part two.

( Read on AO3 )

Pairing: levi ackerman x f!reader Fandom: attack on titan (modern au) Word Count: 3.5k Summary: So you're dating your neighbor who also happens to be a sex hotline dom named Levi Ackerman. Stranger things have happened, right?

Warnings: 18+ MINORS DNI - slow burn, eventual smut, sex work, neighbors au, newly established relationship, the direct sequel to Press Four For More Options Credits: dividers by @/saradika-graphics / gif by pankago

part one. / part three. | masterlist

There’s a pop-up shop about six floors above yours—

A noisy bar quickly becomes background white noise.

—if you don’t mind walking a neighbor home.

And within a breath, the world ceases to exist.

You’re not sure what you were expecting him to say, but it sure as hell isn’t that.

(He gets paid to be a smooth talker, but holy shit, it is catastrophically different when you’re saddled with the reality that you can walk — run — straight to the man inviting you to his home.)

Before you can even think, your voice blurts out of your parted lips:

“I don’t mind.”

Not.

At.

All.

Annie will forgive you.

Hell, you bet everyone crowding that tiny high-top table will forgive you come Monday morning when you’re back in the office.

Half of them won’t even remember that you were there in the first place. It’s a win-win situation.

There is no hesitation in the way you pick up your purse from the countertop and rush towards the front entrance of the bar, your eyes zeroed in on a patient Levi.

It takes some serpentining, but eventually you burst through the doors.

Levi turns towards you, his cell phone still held to his ear. 

There’s a little pink in his cheeks — from the nipping bite of the cold evening weather or his quick-witted pick-up line, you aren’t sure.

“Sorry,” you exhale like you’ve run a marathon in such a short distance. “I should’ve said bye or something before running out here, but I figured—”

The fringe of his hair shakes in his eyes as he holds up a finger to his lips.

Silence.

A stern expression replaces the debonair, and for a moment, you wonder if something is wrong.

But then—

“Yeah, no, I’m calling out for the evening,” he states. “Will you relay, Petra?”

Petra.

You know that woman’s name.

(The hotline receptionist responsible for connecting you to him.)

“Not an emergency, no,” he reassures, brows briefly knitting together. “Just taking some time off.” A pause. “Why are you laughing?” Another pause. “Forward them to Erwin. I trust him not to run my damn clients off. Thanks.”

Oh.

He’s—

“Sorry about that.”

Pocketing his phone, he squares his shoulders and waits expectantly. 

A suspicious crawl of embarrassment runs through your veins, like somehow being spontaneous — selfish — inconvenienced him.

“You had a shift tonight?” you ask belatedly.

“I did,” Levi admits, that buttery-smooth voice curving with a lift of amusement. “And now I don’t.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t want to mess up your—”

“I have over a hundred hours of time accrued,” he interrupts in the very tone he’s used in your sessions before when you chalk up your existence as being a nuisance to him: stop. “If anything, it’ll get them off of my ass for never using it.”

Your brows raise. “A hundred?”

“Over,” Levi corrects, “so you’re doing me a favor — if you’re still in the mood for tea, of course.”

There’s a pause. A taxi flies by to fill the anticipating void.

I’m well past the mood for tea — is what you would say if you were a psychopath.

Instead you clamp your mouth shut and nod. 

Levi nods with you, seemingly exhaling a breath he may have been holding. As he steps forward, one foot in front of the other.

His attention drops from your face, searching your form in a way that makes you feel exposed.

Wanted.

Then he clears his throat and raises a stiff elbow — a polite gesture.

Take it.

The sheer idea of touching him is so fucking daunting.

Until now, you haven’t done anything but fantasize about him, but he’s flesh and blood and right in front of you — if you’re willing to simply take.

So you do.

Slowly you glide your hand over the crease of his elbow, tucking it against his side until your bodies are looped. The sheer cut of his bicep in his 90-degree angle threatens to make you lose your composure.

Jesus, it’s so solid.

(It’ll be a miracle if you even make it back to his apartment in one piece, let alone your own after everything is said and done.)

He walks. You follow until you match his pace.

For most of the journey, the two of you step in silent tandem. 

While he stares ahead, stopping you both whenever you reach a crosswalk, you can’t help but look over his profile. His cheekbones are even higher than you imagined, chiseled from the Gods, with dark hair that fades in an undercut at the nape of his neck.

Levi is the most gorgeous man you’ve ever seen in your life, and you live in a pretty damn busy city, so you’ve seen a lot of men.

“Stairs or elevator?” he asks once he breaks the rhythm of your feet to move two paces ahead, grabbing the door with his fist. He detaches from you to pull open the door, offering you to walk through first. 

You’re so giddy over the chivalry you nearly miss the question. 

“Wait, what?”

“Stairs.” He nods his head, the stark black fringe waving with it. “Or elevator.”

“You live on the sixteenth floor.” 

“Yeah.”

“Wait — Levi, do you walk the fucking stairs?”

Levi blinks like he has to remember that isn’t normal before clearing his throat.

“Sometimes.”

“Oh my god.”

“I didn’t want to get complacent after losing my job at the gym,” he states, changing his trajectory as he heads for the elevator instead.

You’re grateful that, for once, you’re not trying to act brave — or stupid.

Your big mouth doesn’t try to say that sixteen flights of stairs is totally fine just to impress him.

(This man has already heard what you sound like when you orgasm on more than one occasion. In some twisted way, the two of you are way past the surface stages of courting, but it doesn’t make this any less daunting.)

Once more he tracks ahead to hold the elevator door for you. Waiting until you’re comfortably inside, he presses the grayed ‘16’ button on the panel. It illuminates in an outdated hazy yellow — forcing your attention to the grayed ‘10’ just below it.

Six fucking floors, all this time.

Once the doors close, Levi Ackerman leans his back against the metal wall, his arms crossed and forearms barred from his rolled-up sleeves. 

You stay put in the dead center of the lift, watching him stare at the elevator panel until he lifts his chin to look back at you.

Neither of you look away.

The prolonged eye contact feels like an acknowledgement of a solved mystery between two people.

He knows you better than most people. You’d wager you may know him just as well.

“You okay?” he asks, softer this time. 

The intensity of his gaze doesn’t waver.

You find yourself nodding before you realize it. 

“Are you?”

Levi takes a moment to drop his attention an indiscernible amount, mulling over your question, before meeting your eyes once again.

“Yeah. Better than.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.”

Nothing can stop the smile growing on your face, not even by pressing your lips together.

“Never told me your preference,” he states casually, shaking some of his black fringe from his eyes. “In tea, I mean.”

“I’m happy to have whatever you have,” you promise. “I’m not picky.”

“You can be,” he promises right back. “Trust me, I have every type of tea you could think of.”

“Hoarding?”

“Hopelessly addicted, more like.”

The elevator pauses and gives way to the sixteenth floor’s hallway. When the door opens, Levi unfurls his arms to hold his hand out for you to take — only to seem to think better of it and fish for his keys instead as he takes the lead.

Instinctually your hand flexes at the ready to accept, but it falls limp to your side with the decision to simply follow behind.

(Yeah — you’re not used to the proximity yet, either.)

After passing a few apartments, Levi pauses at a door identical to yours and fiddles with the lock until it gives. 

He pushes it open, gesturing for you to walk in first.

A part of you wants to hesitate.

The rest of you refuses.

His apartment is clean to a degree you’ve never seen before — for a person who had no idea he was going to end up coming home with a stranger, you’re impressed by the lack of clothes lying about or…

Really anything.

Everything appears pristine. 

Taken care of.

So meticulously in order that you quickly toe each shoe off before stepping inside to leave the dirt and grime of the city at his doorstep. 

Levi follows suit, removing his shoes and closing the door behind him.

As you stand awkwardly by the door, he shuffles around you to the kitchenette mirroring yours a few apartments below. 

He reaches up into the cupboards to take out two mugs, preparing a kettle on the stove.

“Make yourself at home,” he offers, glancing over his shoulder towards you.

Right.

At home.

At home in the apartment where you got your shit verbally rocked for a week straight.

Afraid of offending him, you begin a slow mosey around the perimeter.

To the right is a cluster of framed photographs hanging on a wall — one portrays a tall, handsome blonde wearing dog tags around his neck and an all-smiles brunette with glasses cinching a less-than-enthused Levi between them. 

The proximity suggests they could be his friends, though the keys each person holds in the photo makes you realize a second later: 

In the background is a boxing ring, barely unpacked.

The co-owners of the old gym, maybe?

Considering the one person has dog tags, you can only assume they all met in the army and found themselves in the same city after deployment.

Another framed photograph has Levi in a similar annoyed disposition, arms crossed and unenthusiastic in contrast to the surrounding smiling young adults. They crowd him in various poses of muscle flexing, proudly sporting Survey Gym tees.

So his gym was called Survey Gym, huh?

The name rings a bell, if only in passing.

The young faces surrounding him must have been his trainees. His fighters.

(The people he held dear before the gym went under and he had to find a new path.)

“Trying to find dirt on me already?”

His voice makes you jump out of your damn skin.

“Oh — shit, sorry,” you sputter, stepping away from the wall. “I was just—”

“That was a joke,” he interrupts, the corner of his lip twitching. 

Levi takes the initiative to walk over to you with both mugs in hand, steaming from freshly brewed tea.

He holds out a no-frills emerald mug to you, and the scent finally catches your nose:

Lavender.

“Those are my friends, if you’re too polite to ask.”

“I was relying on context clues,” you confess, mindful of the heat when taking the mug from his hand. You sip until a familiar warmth spreads through your body. “Co-owners?”

“Used to be,” he answers after his own gulp. His free hand gestures to the photo with two people. “Hange’s probably clinically insane and Erwin’s not much better.”

“The guy you mentioned over the phone to Petra?”

Levi nods, taking another long sip of his tea. You follow suit, enjoying the taste.

“Same guy who got me into the hotline, yeah.” He switches focus to the other photo. “Some of my fighters. They’re busy training with other coaches and shit now.”

“Would you ever go back to training fighters if you could?”

“Probably,” Levi replies, “but I’m not exactly the easiest to work with. If I’m training anyone, it’s alongside Erwin. No exceptions.”

Silence settles between your bodies.

As you continue to stand there, allowing the aroma of the tea to calm your senses, you know — the longer you stand here, the more what ifs begin to plague your mind.

What if you met his friends, became a part of his life?

What if you don’t measure up to his expectations?

What if you just said what was on your mind without holding back — would it scare him?

When you feel your mug suddenly grow light, your instinct is to clench your hand around the ceramic handle.

However, you come back down to Earth to realize the person maneuvering the cup is Levi, who has in turn moved closer to you —

So close you can smell the faint scent of a woody, musky cologne.

Angled towards your body, he pauses in removing the mug from your hands when he feels your muscles tense. “You’re disappearing on me.”

So he noticed, even in person.

Say it.

Say it, idiot.

“Just…” 

Trailing off, you find yourself trusting him; letting go of the mug freely so that he can take it back. Levi sets both mugs down on a slender table situated just under the photographs, placing them on swirling marble coasters.

“Just?” he repeats, a mere murmur this time.

“This doesn’t feel real yet,” you confess. “Being here with you. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I wanted this but in my own apartment. Hell, it feels like this is my apartment because we have the same fucking layout — but yours is so much cleaner, I won’t even lie to you.”

It brings you both to laugh under your breath, octaves intertwining. 

When he shakes his head, you find yourself gravitating to his orbit.

“Doubt it’s bad.”

“Oh, it’s a pigsty compared to this place,” you nervously giggle, moving even closer. “Like, I should go home to clean it – but later.”

“Definitely later.”

“Like tomorrow kind of later," you accidentally joke.

“Agreed.”

Oh.

Before the realization hits you, your breath tickles his cheek. Levi is practically toe-to-toe and warm, so very warm, to the degree of dizzying every reservation you had.

You don’t have the confidence to stare anywhere but his lips, parted with little puffs mirroring yours.

“And what is that you want now?” he adds quietly — a question that shoots straight to your core, twisting it with an intense desire that it nearly takes your breath away.

You know.

And if you were a gambling woman, then you suspect that he knows, too.

Three words exit your mouth, straight from your very soul:

“To be selfish.”

It’s all it takes.

As if released from a leash holding you both to your leads, you meet Levi in a passionate, suffocating kiss. 

His hands reach for your face the same time you reach for his, mangling your limbs in a race to touch, to hold — to feel.

Manners are left behind as you press your lips to his, kissing him like you’ll die without. Your own hands bury themselves in the softness of his hair, dragging through the freshly-buzzed undercut and earning yourself a groan.

Shit.

He sounds even better in person.

“Levi—”

You part your lips with a shuddered breath when his tongue leisurely slides across it. All coherent thought ceases to exist.

It’s just him pushing closer — guiding you backwards — until your back hits something solid.

A surprised grunt melts into another groan as he moves one hand to cradle your head, mindful that the back of your skull doesn’t slam against the wall.

Levi tastes like the pineapple seltzer you abandoned back at the bar.

You want this.

Him.

Never in your wildest dreams have you considered sleeping over a man’s apartment before the third date, let alone the first, yet the heat of him — the taste of him — opens brand-new possibilities that mostly focus on the rest of that body underneath his gray long-sleeved shirt.

You're already grabbing the hem of your shirt. The fabric feels too tight against your blazing skin.

Off.

Everything needs to be off.

“Hey,” he exhales in-between kisses, catching your lower lip in his teeth to tug at it. Instantly you whine into his mouth, an involuntary (and fucking embarrassing) noise. “Hey—”

If he asks, you’ll say yes. 

To hell with the unwritten rules.

You’re consenting adults, it’s clear you both want this, and when push comes to shove —

A hand shoots out, covering yours before your shirt can lift over your bra.

“Baby—”

All motor functions effectively freeze when you realize Levi is pulling away, forcefully creating some distance between your panting bodies.

“Baby, listen to me.”

As if in pain, he grits his teeth and pulls away from the kiss, eyes damn near black. 

You’re left watching, stunned and disheveled and painfully aroused.

Worries go from nonexistent to overdrive in a matter of seconds.

“What’s wrong?” you quietly ask despite your budding panic. “Fuck. Sorry, did I do something wro—”

“No. Shit, are you kidding?”

Those stormy eyes catch yours, and you feel another sharp wave of desire flow through your body.

“You’re perfect,” Levi continues, struggling to catch his breath. “You’re fucking perfect, it’s just—”

Just.

One word acts like a splash of cold water.

You’re perfect, but something is imperfect about this. 

You’re perfect, but he still wants to stop.

Levi scowls, voice rough. “Oi. I can hear you thinking a mile a minute.”

Heat rises to your face. “Me?”

“Yeah, you — so don’t.”

For good measure of reassurance, Levi leans back in to gently peck your lips. It’s less heated but by no means less passionate.

You belatedly press your lips back to his before watching him pull away. 

His lips are slick with saliva and exertion. 

There’s a deeper flush on his face that wasn’t there earlier.

“It’s just that I don’t want to rush this,” he states as calmly and evenly as he can.

Objectively, you get it.

Objectively, Levi is making a whole lot of sense. Rushing into things could end up with a lot of heartbreak and confusion. Taking it slow hurts way less than speedrunning the firsts of a new dating-situation-whatever this is.

Subjectively, you’ve heard him moan in your actual face and you would very much like to hear it again and again until it’s burned into the back of your brain like a core memory.

“And I’m not trying to say that we can’t — trust me, I want to — but you’re not some one-night stand to me in any capacity of the damn phrase.”

Unable to help yourself, you nervously roll your eyes and shrug a shoulder. 

“Technically we’re kind of way past one night stands considering we’ve had, like, six.”

A wicked smirk flickers across his face. 

“Yeah, no fucking kidding — but that isn’t what I mean.”

Taking yet another slow, even inhale, the dark-haired man runs his thumb affectionately over your cheek.

“Let me do right by you. By this. Even if it’s corny as shit, I’ll try it.”

Pausing, he drops the hand on your face to gently take your hand.

“I want to take you out on a date. A nice date. Something proper — starting with finishing our tea, then walking you home so I know you got to your apartment safe.”

“I’m six floors away, Levi,” you tease.

“I’ll settle on taking the elevator with you,” he retorts, teasing right back. "Still: let me prove I can be good to you. That I can earn you."

He pauses, jaw clenched.

"Earn us."

Reluctantly you both detach, the taste shared on your lips. He wastes no time to take your hand in his, squeezing it for emphasis, before giving you back your cup of tea.

Although the room is charged with tension, you both behave.

Sipping tea.

Holding hands.

Staring.

As much as you want to act on your desires, you’re flattered he’s so adamant to take this slow.

It only grounds this fantasy further into the woven fabric of reality — of what’s to come in your life.

Levi is good on his word: he walks you to the elevator, through the corridor and to your apartment.

And when you’ve managed to wriggle your keys into the door, he gently calls your name.

Just as you turn, he places that warm hand on your cheek and presses his lips back to yours.

This time it’s chaste, sweet — lingering.

They brush yours methodically, as if committing your body to memory, before reluctantly pulling away.

“Goodnight, formerly Scarlet,” he states under his breath for only you to hear.

“Goodnight, still Levi,” you return, mirroring his intimacy in tone.

Satisfied, he kisses you one final time before pulling away. 

You watch as he walks backwards towards the stairwell of the apartment complex, a certain glow about him as he asks:

“Will I see you at the gym in the morning?”

As if you’d ever skip a leg day now.

.

Author's Note:

First of all, much love and appreciation for your patience as I finally found the mental capacity to write this chapter. Naturally it was easier to write in the summer, and fall has been A Time (TM). I have a lot of big life events coming up in the next few weeks, but I will keep the dash posted on when they should expect part three.

Thank you for any likes, replies, etc. Every reblog gives this writer wings.

[ceareon]

"Salvation"

Yan! Angel x Apostate! GN! Reader

You find yourself surviving the end of the world. Yet now you're stuck with the angelic creature that tore your world apart. content warning: end of the world, gore, male yandere, religious themes, obsessive behavior. ALSO NOT PROOF READ

Part 2: "Repentance"

Artwork: "Death on a Pale Horse, ver. 1" By Benjamin West

The air was still, barely anything made noise. The soft cackles of the burning buildings in front of you slowly stifled into silence, leaving you alone with your thoughts as well as the smell of burning weed and flesh. Oh that burning smell of flesh reeked. Its been engraved in your mind since the start of all of this.

—

Your mother had gone missing. As well as thousands of humans on the same day without a trace. This of course brought mass destruction to the cities, humans suddenly disappearing without a trace was unheard of. Especially in broad daylight with witnesses. Despite your best efforts. In mud, you kneeled at sunset on the day of your birthday, dread filling you from the fact you couldn't find where your mother had gone to. You hadn't even been able to blow out your candle, now your dearest mother was gone, almost like she ceased to exist.

It was the day after your birthday when the first seal was broken, the white horse with its horseman grasping a bow, galloped forward in a quest to conquer. You couldn't forget that day, where the crown the horseman bared on it's head was soaked soaked in blood. In front of your eyes, your brother was taken from you.

Not long after you ran, tears pouring from your eyes as you feel your breath start to become uneven. You clutched your ears tightly, not listening when you hear your father calling out to you. Your heart was erratically beating. What the hell had just happened?

Hours go by, hiding in the small meadow near your home. Barely any people there yet you could still see the destruction being caused on the cities just far from where you sat. In your hand was your phone tightly clutched in your hand, you could see the countless posts on people lasts goodbyes, last smiles, last sorry's, last moments. Tears drip down, once you see the last post your father had posted. You were tagged in it.

"I love you @/darling"

posted on XX/XX/XXXX, a few minutes ago

You couldn't control the tears from pouring down, tears staining the screen of your phone before you threw it on the ground from sheer anger and disdain for yourself. How could you abandon your last family member? Dread started to fill you. You couldn't even breathe anymore.

—

You collapsed on the ground, choking blood as you barely had a will to live. Yet despite everything, you were never killed. You couldn't even take your own life despite having tried it so many times. This end of times had lasted for at least 7 days. Yet you felt as though you've been surviving for a decade.

"Human."

The air had suddenly gone cold. No longer did you feel that comfort of knowing your end was near. No. All you felt was dread. Like every little moment you had made to soothe yourself for your end was going to be ripped out of your stomach. You felt like you were about to vomit. You couldn't even bring yourself to look at the holy creature that burned it's thousands of eyes into you.

"Fear not... I'm here to bring you your salvation..."

Beside you it kneels down, gently, it wraps an arm around your waist, trying to make you sit up, yet you don't comply, causing it to huff in annoyance.

"Must you really be so stubborn?"

It forcefully grabs into your hair, pulling down to make you look up at it, yet your eyes only haze once you see the blinding light of it's halo. Fear stricken you as you see the adoring affection it shows through it's in humans face. You absolutely detest it.

"Oh... You are more enchanting than I would have thought."

Burning anger and sorrow reeks through your skin, yet you were too weak, too tired to show it. All you could do was spill the tears you've forced down for so long. It's inhuman face contorts, you could see it's makeshift eyebrows furrowing, while the thousands of eyes that were on it's skin squints, almost in a confused manner. Yet in all honesty you didn't know what emotion it was actually showing.

"Oh, human... My human. You must be so confused. I'm here to take you where you belong. To the kingdom above."

It's disgustingly human lips turn upward into an odd smile. Causing you to recoil back from uncanny disgust. No where in your pathetic life were you about to trust an Angel. Not after the calamities they've brought to the earth in the name of salvation. Just thinking about it made you heart clench as you were reminded by what you've witnessed for the past 168 hours. No amount of holy water will make you forget what these vile creatures had done to the planet you called home.

"Human."

The Angelic creature immediately apprehends you to the ground using it's four hands. You couldn't even squirm under it's grip. It wouldn't let you go. Not after having you under it's grasps now.

"I had never given you the option to say no."

[steinfellds]

She Isn't Coming Home

Pairing: Mom!WandaNat x Teenager!Reader

Summary: Thanos snapped half your family away five years ago. Five years later, half your family is still missing. Though this time forever.

Warnings: death mentions, depression, cheating, angst with no happy ending, family issues.

1.2K Words

a/n: im changing the plot of endgame a bit cause I cant be fucked to write it all out

/ masterlist / / w.n masterlist /

You were 13 years old when the Avengers lost against Thanos, causing half the universe's population to cease to exist. You still remember the horrible feeling you felt in your gut when you saw the Wakandian guard who was watching over you turn to dust.

At the time, you thought you caused the guard to turn to dust with your recently discovered powers. So you hid in a vent for half an hour until your mother, Natasha, found you.

Only 3 days later, you were told of what happened to the rest of the universe.

You cried for weeks straight about the death of Wanda, and even Natasha shed a couple of tears at the loss of her ex-wife.

Wanda and Natasha had divorced 2 years prior to the blip when Natasha found her cheating on her with Vision.

After the blip, you struggled to return to your normal life as your powers were spiraling out of control, and Natasha was forcing herself to work so she could forget the horrible things that happened.

By the time you were 14 years old, you were diagnosed with depression and were failing half your classes. You would skip school constantly to hang out with your friends and show off your powers.

The first time Natasha found out about this, she was upset and hit you with the "How would Wanda feel about this?" which broke you at the thought of your dead mother's reaction. Though slowly you started to care less and less about Wanda's reaction.

She was dead. She didn't matter anymore.

It was just you and Natasha now.

Your relationship with your mom wasn't bad. Sure, you had your ups and downs but you still loved each other dearly. Sometimes you wouldn't know what you would do if you lost her as well.

"You're telling me there may actually be a way to get everybody back?" You stared at Tony, tears filling your eyes at the hope of everybody's return.

Tony hummed, "There's a possibility of it, yes."

"But don't get your hopes too high, okay? We aren't 100% sure of it." Natasha said to you, a stern look on her face.

You nodded, "It's just crazy that after 5 years, everybody could come back."

"It's been 5 years of hell," Bruce muttered, flicking switches at the control panel in front of him.

Natasha put her hand on your shoulder, making you jump. "Sweetheart, you need to go to bed. It's getting late."

You shook your head with a small laugh, "Mom, I'm not 13 anymore. I'm 18, I make my own decisions."

Natasha raised a brow at you. You have been talking back to her a lot more often than usual.

"Okay, sorry." You apologised, making your mother smile. "Goodnight, everybody!"

It only took a couple of days for Tony and Bruce to figure out how to time travel and retrieve the infinity stones.

"Mom, why won't you let me come with you? Please, I never come on missions with you." You begged, yanking onto Natasha's suit.

"Stop acting like a whiny child, Y/n. I told you that you're staying here and Clint is coming with me."

"But, mom-"

"Y/n, drop it."

You groaned and dramatically threw your body onto Natasha. She pushed you away with a laugh.

"You're a big baby, you know that?"

"You suck." You huffed out, watching your mother walk onto the platform.

"Love you, baby." Natasha sent you a wink.

The Avengers exchanged short conversations before they stepped into the correct positions.

"See you in a minute."

A bright flash of light lit up the platform and everybody disappeared.

It was only a few minutes before everybody started reappearing on the platform, each holding an infinity stone.

"Holy shit, Tony! You actually did it." You cheered, running up to him.

"Did you seriously doubt me?" He asked with a chuckle.

You sheepishly smiled, "Maybe."

A thumping sound made you turn away from Tony. You saw Clint defeatedly sitting on his knees with an infinity stone grasped in his hand, his face stained with tears.

"Clint? W-where's my mom?" You couldn't see your mom anywhere.

"She's...I'm so sorry, Y/n." His voice cracked and he started sobbing.

"Where's my mom, Clint? What the fuck did you do?" Your eyes started to fill with tears.

"I tried to stop her, I promise I tried. Though she's always been better at fighting than me, and- and I couldn't stop her." Clint couldn't even bring himself to look at you, "She's dead. I'm sorry."

All you could do was start to sob. You didn't know what to say or do. You felt fucking horrible. The last thing you ever said to your mother was "You suck." You didn't even tell her how much you loved her, and that tore you apart.

You collapsed into Tony's arms and quietly sobbed into his chest.

The death of Natasha was heavy on everybody's shoulders. Everybody was mainly silent, only talking when needed. Nobody spoke to you or Clint; you both looked like you could break down at any moment.

After many long arguments, it was decided Bruce would snap everybody back into existence. When Bruce snapped, you were almost sure he was going to die. It filled your eyes with tears at the thought of losing another loved one today.

"Did it work?" Rocket asked softly.

A loud sound was heard outside the compound, which caused everybody to run outside. Portals started opening one after the other, revealing the once-dead heroes.

"Y/n? Baby, where are you?" Wanda's voice broke through the loud crowd.

Wanda's eyes widened when she saw you, "Y/n?"

You stared at her, not really feeling anything but sadness. "Hi."

"You're so big! What happened? Why are you suddenly so old?"

"You're going to have to sit down for this." You whispered with a sad smile.

You and Wanda sat cross-legged on your bed. Both of your eyes were filled with tears.

"It's been 5 years since Thanos and Natasha is dead?" Wanda asked for the second time, still not really believing it.

You hummed, picking at the skin of your fingertips.

"That's okay, sweetheart. You still have me."

You looked at her with a confused expression, "Excuse me? What about my mom's death is okay?"

"That's not-"

"No, fuck you, honestly. My mom raised me, you were gone all my teenagehood and now you're saying this shit?" You stood up from the bed and moved away from Wanda.

"Honey, please," Wanda begged, realising she massively messed up.

"Firstly, you ruin this family by cheating on mom with a fucking toaster and now you've gone and ruined whatever family this is." You stared daggers into Wanda's eyes.

"Don't you dare call Vision a toaster."

"Mom died to bring you back! She knew how much I missed and needed you so she killed herself in order to help me." Your voice broke, "I wish you stayed dead."

"You don't mean that." She scoffed.

"Get out of my room. I don't even want to look at your face right now."

"Y/n-"

"Get out!" Your eyes flashed to a blinding white colour.

Wanda quickly scurried out of your room with tears rolling down her cheeks.

You flopped down on your bed and started to cry your eyes out. In the span of a couple of hours, you lost every important thing to you. Your mother was killed and Wanda ruined whatever relationship you were willing to build with her with a couple of words.

You had nobody. You were entirely alone.

And it really, really hurt.

[kotias]

I just counted the amount of words I've written in about 13 months

And holy shit.

Finished: 95 416 words Currently WIPing: 202 243 words Total: 297 659 words

This isn't taking into account:

the RPs I might have done to help other writers out of their writing slumps

the small scenes and drabbles I might have written here and there for specific occasions

For anybody who needs to hear it: you will find your spark again, I promise you. I did.

In 2015, I was hit with a writing slump that lasted until August 2023, so 8 years.

During that slump, I would barely reach 3 000 words in 1 year, if I was lucky, and it would be tiny pieces of writing here and there.

This word count is about 100 times more than that, in 1 year.

I am baffled by this, and am so happy to see this.

The Good Omens fandom literally saved my creativity, and whatever happens in the future, this fact will remain.

Where I "started" in August 2023:

And He Fell (Good Omens)

The spear pushed through his wings and into his body a few seconds later, and he saw Gabriel walk past him, the records firmly in his hands. No spear, which he knew was still held by someone. The weight of his fate pushed him against his little angel, holding onto his arms as he crumbled at his feet, his head sliding down his torso as Aziraphale let go of the spear. His eyes… they were still warm. Full of pity. “Good job, angel. It was lovely getting to know you, and may we meet again on a better occasion,” he whispered with the last angelic breath he could draw. He felt the pain of each feather of his wings corrupting and falling, the agony of his cells rebuilding themselves entirely. His vision fogged as his eyes lost the Light, his legs, sprawled on the ground, felt excruciating torture as scales appeared all over them. But not a cry came from him. He looked at Aziraphale, gave him a weak smile, as his ears retracted and his arms rotted away. Aziraphale, the kindest soul to exist, did not retract, did not cower in disgust. He watched him, with pity, as the ground itself gave way under him and the hands of the Darkness grabbed him by the bust, dragging him into Hell. Tormenting path, as he had no hands left to catch his tears, no functional mouth left to scream, no legs left to run to him. Only one promise remained. I will crawl out of this pit, and I will damn you all, and I will drag you all to Hell.

Hissing and growling for the next millennium, shuffling his long and fine body on the ground, his heart never ceased to ache, even as his memories of the better times were fading away, leaving place to an undying hatred of Heaven and of their Great Plans.

Crawley was the name bestowed upon him.

Where I am now:

Warzone, my latest WIP - first chapter here, excerpt is from a chapter I am still working on (Deadpool and Wolverine)

“That’s it,” Logan said in a breath.

Wade nodded, placing his hands back into the bucket and hissing from the cold biting at his nerves. He came back to pressing his knuckles into Logan’s spine, just a little higher, until another snap was heard.

He kept going, slowly and methodically, pressing his hands, rolling his palms and fingers into the crooks of Logan’s body, feeling with each of his movements that the muscular back was relaxing under him. It made the pain of the frostbite slowly taking his fingers bearable; in fact, it made him feel warmer, from his chest to his stomach, like a warm blanket had been wrapped around him. That was an odd feeling, which he compartmentalized into a neat, small, locked folder of his mind that he had kindly labeled ‘Feelings I can’t deal with right now.’

Yes, of course he knew how he felt about Logan. Wade might be God’s perfect idiot, but he was no fool, and if anybody should know about idiotic feelings and unwarranted hopes for love, damn, he was a desperate bitch craving for attention—he was perfectly aware of the fact that what he felt wasn’t just the effect of blood rushing out of his brain after too bold and horny of a flirt. No, that was different. One author or the other might even tag it pining. And this, dear readers, wasn’t something he could deal with right away, not with Logan, not when he was in pain, and certainly not while straddling him in the middle of Al’s living room. Even if Logan did make crazy noises as he touched him and released him for a bit, even if he did not seem to reject him when he was being forward. He would reject the idea of Wade being interested in him, it would seem, but he did respond beautifully to him, enough that the folder he was hiding those feelings into was beginning to grow very full, threatening to burst back open at any time.

And Wade really hoped it would happen at the right time. Or at least, because he knew the universe hated him enough to spite him every chance it got, not at the worst time.

[cyeayt]

Mormon Hell!

I have stuff to do tonight but why would i when i could make a post explaining the mormon afterlife (as i was taught it)

prelife

we all lived with god in heaven in our heavenly bodies, until lucifer and the exodus n all that

we travel through the veil and lose our memories of our heavenly families and bodies

earth

we have free will! yipee! you have a few different options here. live according to the principles of the gospel, be baptized at 8, be a missionary and a productive worker and raise children after being sealed with your spouse in a temple, teach and lead if you get the chance. do all that but with less enthusiasm dont get sealed. be aware of god and be baptized and be mediocre. be baptized and leave the church. be baptized, leave the church and disavow it, dedicate your life to disproving it, torment members of the faith. die before you're 8. die before you learn what mormonism is. know what mormonism is but never participate and be a decent person. know what mormonism is but never participate and be a bad person. die and get baptized by your descendants after death.

die. what happens next?

purgatory. or spirit prison. theres two versions. one is where you just chill (and i once heard you get to be a holy ghost and help guide people), or go to jail where they teach you how to be good and you have the change to redeem yourself.

the second coming! mormons will never take any war or disaster seriously or try to do anything about it, because strife and hardship mean the second coming is near!

zion! (yikes) 1000 years of heaven on earth, the resurrection of christ was like a free trial of this. everyone is alive again and everything is perfect. supposed to happen in the garden of eden, which is in missouri. yeah i know. the church is helping fund the genocide in palestine also. we suck, go to protests n keep posting.

judgement day!

where can you be judged to?

the celestial kingdom! beautiful sunny top tier heaven, for eternal families sealed together in the temple! people who go here are the ones who will supposedly eventually get to be gods of their own universes.

the telestial kingdom. second tier heaven. kinda boring, better than earth and you get to talk to jesus but not god. you go here if you were pretty good but never got sealed with an eternal family. i assume that unbaptized babies and people who were baptized after death also go here.

the terrestrial kingdom. third tier heaven. basically more zion. no jesus or god but maybe angels. i think most people go here.

and finally

perdition! the outer void! eternal suffering! well actually as i was taught, eternal suffering is only for the souls who followed satan out of heaven in the exodus before any of our lives on earth. even if you really really sucked, youd get thrown into the outer void, which to me always meant your soul getting ripped apart by the vaccum of space and your eternal spirit ceasing to exist. you have to be really really bad to get here. even like murderers and whoever get to go to the terrestrial kingdom. so, souls who followed lucifer out of heaven, and people who were allowed to be born but who dedicated their lives to serving satan. souls here are the only ones who will not be allowed to receive the glory of god, even after they are resurrected.

in other words, who wants to be a child of perdition with me?

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 42 Pt 2: We are All Warhammer Minis

Last we left off, Bakura just reminded Yami that he did, in fact, invite him to play a Shadow game, and then Yami just kinda never realized the game had started. Yami was warned, Bakura explains, It’s not like he wasn’t told exactly what would happen.

Which is a weird ass thing to say, when it like involved Bakura crashing Yami’s funeral.

Like Yami was supposed to DIE in that tomb, right? Like he was gonna find peace and happiness and then peace the hell out of Yugi’s haunted bean. But instead of perma-dying, he’s freakin stuck here. With Bakura. For the end of his days. His very worst frenemy. The ultimate trap. What a weird way to hang out with Bakura, getting trapped like this.

It is interesting how the Alexander the Great arc actually does play into this arc. Shada did make a model of the past for them to fight in, and now Bakura’s doing the same except way more dramatic because unfortunately it alters history.

(read more under the cut)

Don’t think too much about what would even happen to Yugi and friends if you damage or move anything from 5000 years ago. Like I’m pretty sure you can knock over a few cans of ancient Egyptian paint and just Greece would have ceased to exist. That’s how tenuous changing the past seems to me, if I have learned anything from Twilight Zone.

The fact that without Yugi existing in the future, would mean Yami would not have been able to alter the past: don’t think about that. Shadow Realm means we don’t think about that. Shadow Realm does what it pleases.

That or this show is going to split off into hundreds of multiverses just like Marvel and honestly, I wouldn’t be surprised if they did.

Also, we are informed that the rainbow filter is not so much of a Aknadin technique as it is a Bakura’s busted hourglasses technique.

Also it took me 2 watches of this episode, making the caps, editing this out, to realize that he has the hourglass sideways. The three hourglasses are just hourglasses in three directions, sand going down, sand going up, or sand staying still. Holy crap, y’all, long covid: my brain took way too long to realize that.

But we got there!

Did I go “wtf” when Joey was like “ah, I could get used to this!” Yes, yes I did.

At that point, Zorc shows up to give Aknadin a wish, I guess. Like a genie.

And then he was immediately doused in purple gatorade.

You may be wondering “hey, but I thought you can’t make Zorc because Yami locked Zorc away when he lost his own damn name” and don’t worry, Bakura already thought about that.

I guess the function of the last hourglass is “I put a gun to the plot and told it to step forward or I swear to Gods, I will shoot.” He can bend future time one single time at his will, and waited this long to use it. Probably because youknow, it’s Bakura, he’s not going to choose any time to do this but the very rudest time to do so.

Back at Casa Pharaoh, Tristan has made it to the chamber of legs. Notice how Yami’s Dad is the only guy who was like “Hell no, I’m not shaving for my portrait, just draw me in a robe.” Just like me every time I decide to wear tights with a skirt.

Turns out that yes, Yami deleted his own name just everywhere. The curse he got cursed with was very effective.

And back at Aknadin and his awkward family reunion, Seto is kind of over having a family and it’s only been like less than a minute of having one.

No, they did not have a moment of “Wait! Yami is my cousin???” which like, asking your Son to kill his cousin sure is moment. Also the moment of realizing your cousin is 2 feet shorter than you and trying to figure out how that works.

And now, Seto’s Dad looks like this guy:

It’s a look. It’s a card somewhere.

So, in a moment that was hard to cap, Aknadin decided to blast everyone in the face with a plasma beam, and out of the clouds comes Hassad, here to block to blows and take a fireball the chest, like a trooper.

Now if you don’t remember Hassad, he was a hallucination that Pharaoh had in the cave before he saw himself as a literal baby and was like “yikes” and left the cave. Turns out, Hassad is the protector of the Pharaohs, and is finally here to do his damn job.

After Yami, uh, already died once, but youknow what? Better late than never, Hassad!

But unfortunately, this means we’re back at square one, that’s right, it’s time to duel again!

But like, next episode. don’t worry. It’s next episode.

phew.

Like seriously Yugi has done more damage to planet earth than most anime children. Power to him.

And then as I was capping I realized something about Dartz, and I said “I’ll find a way to organically fit this into the commentary” and maybe if I had a better brain I would have done that. Instead, an aside about Dartz’s season that I keep thinking about this season with Bakura.

Because never forget Dartz walked into Cairo, saw Yami, and was like “neat, I’m gonna steal his power” and then saw Bakura and then immediately turned around. When like, this is all that Bakura does.

This leaves so many questions about Bakura and who he was before he was possessed by the spirit of the ring, and when he got possessed by the ring, since he was supposed to be in prison right? So...that was one pissed off prisoner to just have VIBES that were enough to throw off Dartz.

Anyway, that’s all for now, as per usual, here is the link to read these from the beginning, if you so desire. I know my update schedule is so slow atm, but my backlog is pretty freakin strong at this point so there’s more, if you’re new here:

https://steve0discusses.tumblr.com/tagged/yugioh/chrono

[onlyplatonicirl]

correcto-mundo my friend, reaper is one of my favourite utmv characters because i just really like personifications of death, and he sillay

ive always loved the hc that he is a chronic coffee drinker, man's job must be proper stressful so he needs his caffeine fix to keep him going, after all its not like he has a heart to explode with the amount he drinks

his favourite and go-to coffee order is usually just a cappuccino with an extra shot of espresso, 'for that kick', i think he has this favourite coffee shop he visits, maybe within the omega timeline itself, its a local family owned business and its become quite famous for being the god of death's favoruite spot for a pot, they say anyone who drinks there might just be spared the cruel hand of death

anyways, whilst he always orders a really strong coffee i think after the seventh, "the regular?", hed go no, no i wont, and instead orders the unicorn sprinkle supreme frappe, and he really, really likes it, so he now orders that instead, so long as they dump as much espresso as is legal in the cream and syrup concoction

hes a good husband, i hate the image some people in this fandom of how he treats geno, hes constantly overstepping boundaries and all that gross stuff (wonder who that came from.... 2016/17 was a dark time). he is constantly doting on geno, always visiting him whenever he can, always orders a drink for him whenever he goes to his spot, constantly showering him with gifts and the like, and he is so, so happy hes one of the few people he can touch and goes full on pda mode whenevr he can - side note he does this to annoy and embarrass goth

he does actually have eyelights (may actually be canon idr) but he just doesnt show them, why? mystery <|:))

very much so uncanon to almost everything, but i think him and nightmare would get along really well, both are feared because of a duty they have to carry out, something they cant change about themselves, so id think they bond over that, and maybe in another universe nightmare wouldve never have become corrupted because hed have a friend to support him, someone who knew exactly what it felt like but was able to cope with it because of a support network - also coffee-drinking, book-reading introverts unite

also not exactly canon to tcoti as far as i remember, but hey thats what a headcanon is, is that he is in a loving relationship with geno and life, they are brought together in holy ma-TRIO-mony hehehe, so goth gets to have three mum-things, also the image of this beautiful ethereal woman cloaked in flowers and silk embroidered with pearls and gold jewellery standing next to these 5' odd skeleton dudes who are wearing these ragged ass hoodies, shorts and slippers, and her going being like "hmmm yes my husbandwives, i love them dearly", is hilarious to me

he is greek, its quite clear reapertale is based off of the hellenic pantheon, so it only makes sense for reapertale characters to be greek, at least somewhat partially

reaper is supposed to be a counter to repeartale papyrus who is a god of painless death, so in my eyes reaper sort of acts a bit like a judge (just like sans in ut), he takes the souls of those who would've gone to the underworld, which begs the question, what the fuck happens to people who die in this world and in the omega timeline in tcoti, because in my eyes, reaper and paps (idk his name im sorry 😭) reap souls and take them to the underworld (limbo/hell) or to elysium/olympia (heaven sorta), but if a soul is destroyed by say someone like error or is irreparably damaged by experiments on the soul, then that soul cannot be reaped and that person just sorta ceases to exist or becomes undead/deathless, its really weird to try and logic it out, a definitive heaven/hell in the same world where there are beings who can rip apart the code and do whatever they please - please author explainnn i just really wanna know what you think

i think he has a very cold and dark aura, its quite literally visible around him at all times and it never really lets up, this aura is pretty bad for most people and nakes you feel like your dying if you come to close to him

under his cloak he just wears his pajamas, and they always have some dumb slogan on them, life probably bought them

his scythes are quite like the way weapons work in soul eater, that being they can transform and i bet he would probably force his scythes to turn into a dustpan and broom and tidy up his bedroom, or into a mop, really whatevers needed at the moment, theyre like a swiss army knife of convenience, it frustrates alchemy to no end

his house is full on maximalist, and also probably massive, bro is basically a celebrity i can imagine him living in like a massive mansion with greco-roman architecture all over, massive pool, massive garden, all the good stuff

hes a lesbian sorey dont make the rules, he and life were childhoof besties and she was like im a girl :) and he was like same :), having no concept of what being a girl was at all because i doubt alchemy, the god of... stuff and shit i forgor (is it space? i feel like its space, hes clearly based off of primordial gods, but which idk :PP), explained that concept to him, mostly because well why would it matter? alchemy himself is a god above other gods, he himself probably has no concept or care for something like gender, so why explain it to his kids? so when he met life he was like mmm ues im a girl and i like this girl, and for awhile that was good to him, until i think honestly when goth was born and later grew up and then explained to him, or tried to, that, that would make him a lesbian - and for reference geno is a corpse, do you think he cares what label you assign to him or yourself

i think he can transform into animals, usually those associated with death like a crow or snake

speaking of crows i think he keeps a whole murder of them as a pet, hes named every single one of them and he can tell them all apart - he created them himself to be his servants, so he can freely touch them without worrying about them dropping out of the sky a second later

anyways thats all i have, i think, thank you for doinf this i love sharing the brainrot and getting to infodumo shit i straight up made up about characters i love to people

ANONNNNNN WHADDA HELL!!!!!!!

I didnt know all these headcannons were tcoti-adjacent!!!!!! Honestly you have a free pass to headcanon-dump in my ask box whenever you want about whoever you want, I wanna see everything you got!!!!

Also I LOOOOVE the hc that he’s Greek!!! I am also Greek irl and have a lot of Greek family so I am very familiar with the culture and language - him speaking Greek would make me SOOOO happy aaaaaaaa 🙏🙏🙏🙏

[dearweirdme]

I don’t get it. One minute it’s TKK are loud and don’t care what anyone thinks, the next minute Tae is in an (over a year at this point) PR relationship with someone who is at this point almost as equally famous as him. What would be the point in that logically? And does this mean the leaked personal photos were also part of this alleged PR situation? Really? Those were all staged were they?

Who is behind the PR stint and who benefits from it? Why would BH need to venture outside of BTS for publicity. They’re the biggest boy group in the world. Why would YG need to venture outside of black pink for publicity? They’re the biggest girl group in the world.

Really think about it. With logic. It doesn’t make sense. Taehyung said get out of your imagination years ago. And K-TKKers practically ceased to exist after that. But you international lot won’t listen to him.

You really think Holland is going through all the hell he’s going through to fight for LGBT rights in his country just for an alleged (who you think) LGBT person from the same country and the biggest group in the world to agree to being in a fake hetero PR relationship to then set the movement a million steps back?? You don’t respect TH or JK

Hi anon!

Okay, I’ll do this one. Not digging the hostile undertone, but hey at least there’s no name calling 🙄. I’ll tell you about my thoughts about these things.

Tae cares about his future and therefore there will always be some things they have to be careful about. Tae and Jk will not be able to walk hand in hand, they won’t be able to kiss in public, they won’t be able to be romantic in public. But the speculation doesn’t seem to bother them much.

There are several reasons for a pr-relationship, not all have to do with promotion actual movies or music… it’s broader than that. It’s pr for the person as a whole as well. Stars can be as huge as they can get, they also are quick to fall if nothing ever happens after their rise to stardom. Beyonce still does pr, Justin Bieber still does pr, Ariana Grande still does pr… the Kardashians are nothing but pr. Sometimes someone uses their real life as pr, selling wedding-pics or footage for instance. Miley Cyrus using her split from Liam Hemsworth to promote new music is a fairly recent example. Some times things are being kept vague, like Taylor Swift and the songs that are supposedly about her famous ex boyfriends… it keeps the attention where they want it. Other times stuff is faked, co-stars dating… collaborating artists dating, etc.. when a relationship or rumors start at the beginning of working together, but end directly after it’s probably not real. It’s an open secret in showbizz; journalists know, celebrities know, showhosts know.. it’s why debates about this even exist. Magazines will even headline with: Celeb A is dating Celeb B, are they real or fake?

A lot of times pr-stunts will happen to directly promote something. Some times though, they will happen to distract from a situation or to hide something. Kim K dating Pete Davidson for instance to me looks like diverting from the Kanye mess. There’s several queer artist who have dated straight to keep up appearances. They have admitted to having been adviced it would be better for their careers. I don’t know why you feel this wouldn’t eventually happen in Kpop. Especially with BTS and BlackPink being so famous all over the world. South Korea and especially Kpop is catching up. I’m sure a lot of South Koreans will buy this, this way of marketing is new to them.

Every celeb does pr. Jennie wants to get bigger and stay on top. She’s trying to break into the acting world maybe, and… competition is always ready to take their spot. Taehyung is going solo, which is new territory and he or their company might feel he needs the publicity for this phase in his career. I think the biggest reason is him having to join the army though. Having a public girlfriend so close to him enlisting gives him the best cover and keeps him safe.

Holy shit the whole things is as set up as can be. Tae just happens to follow a non-member on Insta and coincidentally it’s not someone random but it’s his secret girlfriend who is also Jennie from BlackPink. Jennie’s personal pictures leak and coincidentally the only pic we can clearly see Tae’s face is the one he isn’t actually physically with her. Also… how do pics get leaked? Why did only Jennie’s pics leak, what did she do different from other celebs that made her pic with coincidentally Tae on them leak? Then they start wearing matching jewelry (something couples do to show they are together, yet Tae could hardly look at her at Harry’s show because it has to be a secret (oh no not a dating scandal) only to be spotted together very publicly just a couple of weeks later. Coincidentally with unclear pics, except the one with only Tae. 🙄🙄🙄 Very conveniently their respective companies have no comments.

I don’t know a lot about Holland, but from what I’ve seen he is very brave. One person being brave doesn’t mean another has to be equally brave though. Everyone has the right to deal with their closet the way they seem best for themselves. Situations differ, people differ… one man’s road doesn’t have to be every man’s road.

So yes, I think there’s reasons for both Tae, Jennie and their companies to want this. Everyone has something to gain by it. From your reaction I gather this is new to you, I can guarantee it is not new to the world.

[clearancecreedwatersurvival]

Have you ever had a relationship with GOD, have you asked HIM things, for help/understanding? What is stopping you from pursuing a life w/ someone who will never leave you & has your best at heart?

𝗔𝗹𝗶𝗰𝗲 𝗶𝗻 𝘄𝗼𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝗹𝗮𝗻𝗱: 'If you do not know where you want to go, then it doesn't matter which path you take.'

I'm always saying I don't know what is happening or why I'm feeling despondent

— so I agree we don't know how to live.

We're all unique snowflakes, but I think divorce & drugs and alcohol exists so we can try to calm down from all the anger and rage we feel when 𝘄𝗲 𝗰𝗮𝗻'𝘁 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘄𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗲 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 — or the way we want to be treated or remembered.

1.] If 𝗮𝗻𝗴𝗲𝗿 𝗶𝘀 𝗮𝘀 𝗺𝘂𝗿𝗱𝗲𝗿, Hell is basic entry level for everyone, &

2.] If GOD sent HIS SON to die on the cross in our place to avoid this Hell and lead us thru life by HIS HOLY SPIRIT; &

3.] HE says there is only 1-way forward & JESUS is the way/truth/life, that no one comes to the FATHER except thru JESUS. [John 14:6]

Why would we ever avoid HIS easy yoke? Why wouldn't we ask HIM in to show us the way?

We clearly don't have life/truth/way to GOD, unless we accept JESUS, & life/death begins forever after we're ejected from earth.

I wonder if you were to die in your sleep suddenly: Are you ready to be drop-kicked into eternity?

Okay maybe I shouldn’t have turned anons back on if the evangelicals are gonna try and proselytize to me, a lesbian heathen.

I’m gonna take this opportunity to share my favorite fun fact, that hell and the devil were both invented by Christians in the medieval period. Satan in particular only exists because of a mistranslation of Hebrew, incorrectly translating a common noun as a proper noun in order to create a boogeyman with which to keep people in line.

As you have attempted to proselytize to me, allow me to return the favor.

Hell’s not real. Life isn’t about suffering endlessly for an “eternal promised reward” that is never coming. Consciousness and life is a fleeting gift, we already live in your Eden, Heaven is the here and now. You are but one permutation of an ancient unending line of complex biochemical processes, one unit in the superorganism that constitutes all Life. When you die you will simply cease to be, the carbon building blocks of your corpse will be recycled and life will spring from it anew. Humans are not special, we are not distinct from the natural world, we are just complex animals who happened to develop opposable thumbs, a penchant for solving problems (by creating other problems) and the ability to dwell on our fear of our fleeting mortality and let that fear trap us in the reassuring lies of cults that promise death is not the end.

[oersteds]

Twiz Lore Part 5 A-Side

Part 5 from Twiz's POV. Long post under the cut. Content warnings in tags

Last time... On Twiz Lore:

Shit happened. Twiz had to hide a person from their death. And then got emotionally stunlocked by her childhood friend's villain speech. Topped off with him going "welp better kill that girl i was replacing you with!" It's fucked.

Well. Now Twiz has to go follow Viltas, while he yoinks Alicia for the execution... He gets to her room. Opens the door. Looks around... where the hell is she?

Twiz goes "Well, Vil. I dunno. Check the closet?" Nope. Not in the closet.

"Try... Under the bed?" Not there either...

"Well, dang! I would've hid there, myself... How about-- oh! Maybe in that box?" Mmmmnope not there.

Eventually, Vil tears apart the entire room, with the help of some elite guards. No sign of Alicia...

"Huh, she must be crafty! How about under the floorboards? I'd hide there if I were here for long enough." ...They tear apart the floorboards. Still no Alicia.

"Shit... I'm stumped. Uh... The walls? I mean, it's not very likely, but..." Holy shit they're tearing apart the walls now. The guards are questioning if this "Alicia" is even real. Vil is questioning if Alicia was even real. Twiz is having a hard time holding back her laughter, despite helping the guards in this pointless endeavor.

...is this ethical gaslighting? I mean, at no point did Twiz deny Alicia's existence. She's just denying that she knows where Alicia is, to stall for time. The more time the guards spend on tearing apart a room that Alicia isn't in, the longer Alicia has to find help...

"Well, I'm fresh out of ideas. Maybe... she went to hide in a different room, in the castle? She couldn't have gone too far, right?" Twiz is really pushing her luck with this... It's 9 PM, for fuck's sake! Let your captors rest! ...Or don't. I mean, it would be easier to escape from a prison if the guards were completely exhausted...

...Viltas realizes the pointlessness of all this. Welp. Guess everyone's going to bed, including Twiz. Luckily, not in the room they'd just tore apart. That room apparently wasn't even for Twiz, in the first place! So now Twiz gets to take a snooze in a shiny new room, made just for her! And she gets free tea, to boot! (Twiz doesn't know what tea tastes like)

...Her room's right next to Vil's room. And both are heavily guarded. And before Twiz can finally go into her fancy new room, Vil leans in uncomfortably close, and whispers to her:

"I knew you were stalling for time, back there. Did you have fun~?"

Oh Twiz, we're really in for it now--

He doesn't sound too upset about it, though. He just... chuckles to himself, softly. Is this a joke to him?

"I knew what I was getting into, with you... But, don't worry. I had fun, myself. I'll be sure to.. keep up with you, moving forward."

Oh gods, this is a joke to him. This... asshole kidnaps someone, and treats it like the opening to a prank war. Violent thoughts flood Twiz's head. If it weren't for the laws of the land--

oh for fuck's sake he's walking away. Damn it. Twiz missed her chance to maul this bastard. Well, at least there's still that free tea. And hey! Maybe the bed's comfy. She gets her own, after all! So, Twiz has a sip of the tea. It's... incredibly sweet... How much sugar did they put in this stuff, anyways? Twiz could get used to drinking this, if it's always this sugary... She chugs the rest, manners be damned. Alright! Bedtime!

Hey, by the way, did you know that having a lot of sugar before bed can cause nightmares? Twiz didn't! It's 3 AM, and Twiz is awoken from the nightmare Hellscape by... her cat? That's definitely her cat. Twiz's cat named Sprinkles. The cat Viltas yoinked. And he's been meowing at her. Sprinkles ceases the meowing once he realizes Twiz isn't dead.

Wait. It's 3 AM. The perfect time to sneak around...! Sprinkles, you magnificent fluffy himbo.

Unfortunately I don't know what Tumblr's post length limit is, and I don't wanna find out anytime soon. I will post B-Side of Part 5 when it's done, though! Stay tuned? I guess?

[kafkaoftherubble]

年与年之间恍惚的阈限：末夜•旭日•无常

Part of this is cobbled from entries written on Paradehyde, 31st December 2023 at 10.38 p.m., and January 1st, 2024, both shortly after 12 am and 5.18 pm.

We haven't laid out our resolutions for this year. It should be done by this week.

Last year's Lyndises didn't make any resolution; we still didn't feel like the future would include us back then. The Knocking Lady didn't succeed in making any of us do what she really wanted, but she didn't really lose either. The future was tenebrous. Ungraspable. Packed with everyone else except us. There seemed to be no spot for us in the future; the future had overlooked us, we thought. It's like people; no matter how much I'm allowed to be around them, there will come a moment when I cease fulfilling their conditions, and they will leave, or I will fade away from them. It's not even out of malice. It just happens.

It's impermanence. Both the Lyndises and Fionn in the early days of the year already understood this. Hell, we understood this since we were kids. Impermanence. It's as natural as the sun rising and setting.

The year got better. My predecessors were really something. It wasn't really a mistaken boast when one of them declared, almost bitterly, "We always recover without help. We just do."

Though, it would be remiss of us to ignore the one who strived the hardest. "Without help" was a misnomer—this statement is only true if we treat Fionn as do the world out there does: as a non-person delusional existence attached to a person.

---

Last year's New Year Quote, according to Paradehyde, was Albert Camus' "One must imagine Sisyphus happy."

Last year's Word of the Year according to Lyndis of A Few Weeks Ago, was "interdependence." Because "dependent co-arising" was two words; it didn't fit the bill.

The Lyn at the Beginning of 2023 thought this would be "The Year of the White-Haired Boy." She meant Fionn, but the funny thing was that it turned out to be Gojo Satoru who hijacked that narrative. I didn't even realize I liked Satoru this much until that infamous Chapter 236. I could have gone on never knowing. And then he just took up my thoughts. And then I, supposed Dedicated Essayist for To Your Eternity, wrote essays on Jujutsu Kaisen. On Gojo Satoru, who already has a surplus of meta essays and whatnot.

Damn it.

I think another "Totally Trivial and Useless Realization" comparable to this Satoru shit is—okay, don't laugh—that we really, really, really... No wait, I said don't laugh, assholes! Don't laugh!

We really think, I mean, hypothetically... Like if a certain very famous Siddhartha was alive in our times, he might just be a cognitive scientist too. It seems so up his alley. I mean, yea whatever, he could totally become a philosopher and a teacher or something. But cognitive science, man. Come on. Makes too much sense when you really read what he said and thought about.

And I think—as in, I share the same sentiment as that unfortunate Lyndis who realized this while rambling about things with Lyishere—that if he were to be alive at this time, and I somehow got to know him personally... I think I'll like him a lot. I think I'll wanna befriend him and annoy the shit out of him and think about stuff with him and break his arguments apart if I don't think it holds. I would like to watch him all the way to his Awakening. I would like to study him. He would be very interesting to study—

"BRUH DID YOU JUST say your perfect partner is the Buddha?! HOLY SHIT, this is inSANE. OH MY GOD NEVER SAY MY STANDARDS ARE HIGH EVER AGAIN. LIKE MINE IS HIGH BUT NOT THE BUDDHA like bro ATEEZ MOUNTAIN MAN HIMBO CORE WITH OPPENHEIMER IQ IS ACTUALLY MORE NORMAL THAN THIS WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK"

Yea. I don't think anyone else needs to know about this. Let's just keep it between us, and Lyi, yea?

Fionn? Nah. He's more like Ananda than Siddhartha. Doesn't stop him from being someone I care about the most in this entire world, though.

---

I really like the days between the years. "Zwischen den Jahren" or something. It's its own liminal space, you know. And we are drawn to liminal spaces like that. It feels like where we seem to belong.

The thing about these days is that it makes for the best time to observe anicca! You watch the days between Christmas and New Year crawl toward finality. If it has been a bad year, it's ending. If it has been a good year, it's ending. If it has been a neutral year, it's ending. Everything ends. Nothing lasts.

And then, at one point, I suddenly felt quite... scared!

2023 started out not too impressive, but it progressively got better. In fact, it ended up being a huge step up from even the years before it. It was really the most bliss we had for a while.

And then, when 2024 came, I suddenly thought—well, who says it's gonna keep getting better? Who says it's gonna plateau in this comfortable stability, either? Everything is impermanent. Good times are impermanent too. Whatever peace I'm feeling right now—it's impermanent. It won't last forever. Something could come and yank it away from me.

And that, Lyndis of the Future, was me forgetting what anicca really means. As eventful or as storied as a moment may be, it will die. As packed with the strongest sentiments we could possibly experience or label—joy or stress or pleasure or pain or rapture or despair—no matter how royally this moment struts on a stage right now... it will drop dead and become history. Being momentous changes nothing. Being nondescript changes nothing.

So, of course the 8-foot Tall Woman jeered at me. I was scared of losing these good days because I grew attached to something impermanent in the first place. She would laugh at Fionn, too, because he tends to grasp on good moments and mope if something he likes is ending—for example, the end of a pleasurable trip would really make him brood.

It's kinda annoying cause' we often are aware of our attachments—that means we are knowingly being dissatisfied/suffering/distressed. Knowingly! It's like already knowing you're gonna hate this game, and you still buy it and play it. It's different from not knowing you'd hate this game and buying it and playing it, ya know.

"There's no fear for one whose mind is not filled with desires," said The Guy We Could Have Been Very Close Friends With Me. Well, we're certainly not without desires, that's for sure.

---

Fionn told me while we were lying on the floor listening to fireworks that though he was still thinking over his resolutions, there was one thing he wanted to continue pursuing: equanimity.

Well, I'm afraid you ain't getting that if you and I can't solve the attachment-to-impermanence problem, man.

The thing, guys, is that his resolutions are our resolutions. It's not a separate enterprise he undertakes on his own while I can undertake my efforts on my own. We are dependently co-arisen. He cannot get to where he wants if we don't help. It's the same in the world outside, between persons despite their supposed independence as human beings. One person cannot succeed without the backing of their closest, immediate environment; that includes the people in their lives.

So his wanting to pursue equanimity means we have to be resolute in that, too. What a drag.

The bigger drag is how, even though we started understanding anicca at a young age, we still grasp. I honestly don't think we have that many excuses.

You can forgive someone who didn't know much about this philosophy for being distressed over their attachments, but we already knew this and verified this through our own experience, over and over, at a young age.

You can forgive Past Lyndises for falling short because they were young, brain-not-matured-yet, inexperienced, and trying hard to survive, yadda-yadda. But I? I have no excuses. I am in a better position than my predecessor in January 2023 already. I am heir to the sum of their knowledge, experience, and thoughts. I honestly have no excuses.

I actually kinda like that. The fact that I have no excuses, I mean. To even arrive at this stage, where I'm living in such an optimal state as to have no excuses, means all of the previous Lyns have been skillful. They had, despite their circumstances, acted skillfully enough that now I am reaping the benefits! Isn't that swell? They planted causes that allow me good effects. Kamma done well, y'all. That's affirming shit right there!

I wouldn't want to let my Future Lyns down.

I wouldn't want to let Fionn down.

---

Emotions like anger and anxiety aren't permanent. I mean, they always seem permanent when they are happening, but that's an illusion. They cease on their own, ya know.

The reason why they don't cease, one of Past Us realized, is because you consciously or unconsciously extend them beyond their longevity.

Think of them as a flame on a candle. Before the flame dies out—which it will on its own—you keep lighting new candles with this flame. So the original candle of anxiety is dead, and yet new ones continue its existence... similar to a rebirth. You keep lighting new candles each time the old one is on its way out.

So this emotion is sustained. It looks like a blazing field, but if you look closely, it's really a sea of candles. And if you are heedful enough to refrain from lighting new candles, then you'll see even the strongest emotion die on its own course. That's just impermanence doing its work.

I wonder if this is, oddly enough, one solution for the impermanence of... well, bliss? Joy? What was that phrase again? Dittha-dhamma-sukha-vihara? Abiding in ease, here and now?

Anyway, lighting up candles with the flame of Ease before it die would mean sustaining Ease beyond its expiry date, right?

But Fionn raised a good point: I have to be really heedful of what candle to light, because if I accidentally light the ones of passion and excess joy, then I'll be stuck in a frenzy of lighting them forever before the flames run out.

It's got to do with dopamine. The pain in the death of "Good Times" is really the effect of lowered dopamine levels. The stronger the reduction, the stronger the crash. And dopamine acclimates itself to prolonged rewards and sets it as its new normal; it's how a brain functions. Something great will become merely good over time.

If I light the wrong candles, then I will lock myself into a constant fear of the flames blowing off, i.e. the crash of dopamine. The candles of passion are always getting shorter and shorter as dopamine acclimates itself to rewards, so I'll have to scramble to find more and more "arousing" (longer) candles to light. But that raises the "normal" dopamine level to even greater heights, making its crash even more terrifying and painful should it happen. I will only be even more scared.

Do you see what Fionn and I are seeing? We'll be enslaved by this fear. I'll be doomed to this Sisyphean work of lighting candles and stressing over when the crash is coming. It will be worse than Sisyphus's Rock-Rolling, because the slope keeps getting steeper, the rock larger, and the summit taller.

Sooner or later, not even the candles themselves will become joy. They will just morph into anxieties as if fucking Mahito had touched them and Mui Tenpen the shit out of them.

That's so unskillful! 嫌だ！

----

Which comes back to the question: what are we supposed to do?

Well... "What are we really trying to achieve" is a good question, I suppose:

Are we trying to extend a feeling of joy, or the longevity of "good things," beyond its expiry?

Or are we trying not to fear the impermanence of good things?

Which is it?

The more skillful goal seems to be the second one, methinks. The first is just good old "attachment" cosplaying as noble intent. Besides, the second goal is related to equanimity itself.

Oh, this is great! A good question to ponder during meditation! It will get us a tad bit closer to Fionn's resolution! Yes, this is a good start!

[absolutepokemontrash]

MC’s Half Demon and They Look Awfully Familiar Lessons 18-20

Series Masterlist

T-the season finale… *sniffle* it’s been a wild ride y’all… I’ve never actually written and stuck through with something for so long, so this is a real achievement for me! I really hope you guys have enjoyed this completely weird fluffy/angsty/mildly crackhead adventure! Please enjoy the last part!

All is well, the family is back together, everyone’s fine, the school year is almost over-

Wait, the school year is almost over?

Upon realizing that, everyone settled into a state of mild panic.

MC couldn’t just leave, they were part of the family! An integral part! They were the only thing keeping everyone from murdering each other during family game night!

As for Lucifer’s personal feelings on the matter, things were… tough.

When the exchange program was announced, Lucifer expected it to end like most of Diavolo’s ideas: annoying to clean up, it certainly couldn’t have ended worse than when he and the Crown Prince ended up getting cursed to hold hands for 25 hours straight. What Lucifer didn’t expect was for a child he didn’t even know he had to end up as the human exchange student and for his entire life to be thrown out of whack. That child of his was busy finishing up their final paper of the year.

“Hey, father,” MC looked up from their paper with a cheeky smile. “Do you think that the next exchange student will be as fun as me?”

“I sincerely hope not.” Lucifer sighed, continuing to sift through his paperwork on his desk. “Your kind of ‘excitement’ has completely worn me out.”

“Aw,” MC giggled, then went back to work. “So you don’t want me to stay here then?”

Lucifer stiffened and looked up from his paperwork. “Don’t put words in my mouth, MC.”

“So you do want me to stay. Interesting~” MC said as they began to sweep the eraser shavings off their paper. “Well, if you want me to stay so badly, you could have just asked.”

“P-pardon?” Lucifer blinked a few times to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. “You want to stay?”

“Since you’d be so sad without me, I guess I just have to don’t I?” MC stood suddenly and slapped their finished essay on Lucifer’s desk. “The sacrifices I make for this family, I swear!”

We stand with you, MC, sacrifice your sanity for your weird-ass familia.

Anyway, Lucifer was thrilled that MC wanted to stay with him in the Devildom, the problem was… MC’s other parent may not have been too keen to just give up their baby.

You know, the demon child they raised all by themselves, with no help from Lucifer because he didn’t know MC existed…

Someone get MC’s ren on the phone! Stat!

“Alright dear little brothers of mine, listen closely because I’m not repeating this.” Lucifer looked over the living room couches at the other six rulers of hell. Belphie was sprawled out on one of the couches and was drooling all over Beel’s lap, Satan was making a point to look as disinterested as possible and kept sneaking glances at the book he was holding, and Mammon was wrestling Levi dangerously close to where Asmo was filing his nails.

Sighing in defeat, Lucifer continued. If any of his brothers misbehaved he couldn’t say he didn’t warn them. “MC‘s parent will be coming to visit.”

Everyone’s attention snapped to Lucifer. Wonderful.

“They’ll be staying for a few days and will decide if it’s in MC’s best interest to primarily stay in the Devildom from now on.”

Asmodeus slowly raised a hand. “Luciiiiiiferrrr!”

“Asmo, is your question overly personal in nature?”

The Avatar of lust brought a manicured nail to his cheek and daintily tapped it. “Mmm… I don’t think so.”

“Ask.”

“How long were you and MC’s parent dating for? Won’t it be awkward to be around your ex?”

Lucifer dragged a gloved hand down his face. “It was a one night thing.”

“Really?” Asmo knitted his eyebrows in confusion. “It wasn’t a long drawn out forbidden romance? You must have had some Olympic swimmers down there!”

“Okay!” Lucifer clapped his hands. “Add that to the list of things Asmo is not allowed to say.”

“We have to take something off the list then…” Beel said through handfuls of chips. “The list’s full.”

“Fine,” Lucifer grumbled. “He can say [CENSORED] again.”

“Yippee! [CENSORED] [CENSORED] [CENSORED]”

The group collectively groaned as Asmo continued to spout his profane nonsense.

“What did I just walk in on..?” MC stood in the doorway to the living room, still in their PJs.

“Oh, MC, your parent’s coming over to stay for a few days.” Lucifer quickly explained.

MC’s face morphed from confusion to horror. “What does that have to do with [CENSORED]?!”

This house is a FUCKING NIGHTMARE-

Anyway, after the initial confusion/horror, MC got really excited and rushed off to get ready. Meanwhile, the boys solemnly swore that they would be on their best behaviour!

Everyone needed to convince MC’s parent that everything in the Devildom was perfectly safe and that their little hellspawn was in good responsible hands.

Mammon tried to come up with a plan in case MC wasn’t allowed to stay with them, and let’s just say it involved kidnapping. But like- a chill kind of kidnapping where MC would be totally fine.

This idea was immediately shot down in favour of Beel’s plan B.

Beel would just… eat MC’s parent. No biggie, right?

Lucifer shot that one down the moment he heard it.

The only accepted plan for if MC wasn’t allowed to stay was just letting them go. They’d visit the Devildom. A lot. Many visits would be necessary.

So, the hour of MC’s ren’s arrival had come, and the student council assembled to greet them.

Greet the human. The completely non magical human. Greet them and then let them see the Devildom…

Was this exchange program really that good of an idea..?

MC frantically attempted to do some last minute fixes to their hair as they sat themselves down in their seat in the Assembly Hall. Ugh… stupid hair…

“Why are you so nervous?” Satan asked. “Is our visitor a neat freak basket case?”

“No!” MC huffed. “They’re not! I’m just making myself presentable so they don’t think I’ve gone completely feral down here.”

“Well, feral no, crazy, yes. Have you seen yourself lately?” Belphie snickered.

“SHUT UP BELPHIE.”

“Would you all be quiet?” Lucifer snapped. “You’re all acting like children.”

“I am a child.” MC snapped back. “What’s Belphie’s excuse?”

Belphie’s retort was cut off by the portal opening and a figure leisurely floating to the ground. They had an open parasol in their right hand that seemed to be aiding their gentle descent, and a large container full of what smelled like cookies tucked into their left side. The moment their toes touched the floor, the human gracefully closed their parasol and gave the assembled demons a sparkling smile and a polite bow.

“Thank you for allowing me the honour to visit,” the human’s voice was as soft and sweet as Cotton candy. “It’s a pleasure to officially meet the princes of hell themselves.”

:D yay!

After floating down from the sky like Mary Poppins, MC lost all sense of propriety and ran over to tackle their ren into a hug. It was that kind of thing where you really miss someone but you don’t realize exactly how much until you get to see them again.

Lucifer was, of course, the picture of elegance and “this isn’t awkward at all”-ness.

MC’s parent didn’t even seem to be all that concerned with the fact that their baby daddy was, y'know, LUCIFER MORNINGSTAR. THE MOST POMPOUS FUCKWAD IN THE DEVILDOM.

Please don’t tell him I said that, he’s still mad about the Go Fund Me…

MC was absolutely ecstatic to finally show their parent how much they’ve grown in terms of their demonic powers and all the friends they had made, but MC’s ren was more concerned with how much they had grown in terms of their height.

“You’re just so tall now,” MC’s ren giggled as they fixed their child’s hair. “You’ll get things off of shelves for me, won’t you?”

“Yeah yeah,” MC said, rolling their eyes good naturedly. “Like you can’t reach anything in your kitchen.”

“Okay,” Mammon, Satan, Levi, Belphie, and Beel were lagging behind Lucifer, MC, their parent, and Diavolo. “Change of plans, we ain’t eatin’ ‘em, we’re keepin’ ‘em.”

“We were never going to eat them in the first place, idiot.” Satan sneered. “And what’s with the change of tune? You were ready to wage war on the human world fifteen minutes ago.”

“…cookies happened.” Mammon mumbled. He had only gotten one of the human’s totally amazing offerings before Beel proceeded to eat everything. The cookie was perfect… so delicious…

“I say we keep the human.” Beel put a hand on his stomach. “I want more human world cookies.”

“They’re so cute too…” Asmo cooed. “A solid 10/10, and that’s such a rare ranking coming from the only 20/10 in existence!”

“Asmo, your vanity never ceases to make me want to roll over and-” Belphie’s insult was interrupted by him passing out and letting out a cartoonishly loud snore. It was a good thing Beel was able to quickly catch and throw Belphie over his shoulders like a sack of potatoes.

“Asmo has a point, they’re just so totally moe! Kawaii to the highest degree! That parasol, the homemade cookies, it’s just like something from a slice of life anime!” Levi squee-ed.

“So it’s settled, we treat ‘em nice, then we get ‘em to stay.” Mammon nodded to the rest of his brothers, who for the first time in the Demon King knows how long, his little brothers nodded back in full seriousness. They were actually doing a Mammon plan! Holy shit!

So, the brothers liked MC’s ren, what about Diavolo and Barbatos?

Well, MC’s ren had heard all about Barbatos’ amazing cooking from MC and Barb’s totally outstanding reputation, so the two got along swimmingly.

Dia. Loved. That. Human. They’re cute???? They’re sweet???? They brought COOKIES???! They don’t seem to be afraid of him at all????? Please be the exchange student next year :D

Oh yeah… he made a rule that said they couldn’t summon someone with kids… it would be cruel to rip a parent away from their child…

But apparently not a child away from their parent cough cough

Other than the uncle squad, MC’s ren got to meet the Purgatory Hall gang too!

MC was being just the most adorable tour guide, but that didn’t stop Lucifer from having a miniature heart attack any time a demon even looked at MC’s parent the wrong way. If MC’s ren got attacked or felt threatened in any way shape or form, he could say bye bye to his time with the one person in the HOL that didn’t live to make him pop a forehead vein. The human seemed outwardly unconcerned with any Devildom oddness and was amicably chatting with Diavolo while MC pulled them from place to place.

“And that’s Hell’s Kitchen, they have good sandwiches, and that’s Madame Scream’s, they have really good macarons.” MC helpfully pointed out the places as they passed them.

A much to familiar trio of voices called out from down the street. Father dammit, why were they here..?

“Hello Lucifer, what are you all up too?” Ugh… Simeon…

“From the sight of the rest of your brothers skulking about, it appears like they’re acting as bodyguards.” Solomon…

“MC? Who’s that?”

Oh good grief… that nasally little voice… the chihuahua was near… Now… Lucifer was a respectable demon… respectable demons don’t tease children in front of the parent of their child…

“Hello chihuahua.”

DAMN IT HE COULDN’T HELP HIMSELF!

“I’m not a chihuahua you demon!” Luke yapped.

MC’s parent daintily tilted their head and looked over at MC. “Aren’t you going to introduce me to your friends?”

“Right, Luke, this is my ren, ren, this is a chihuahua.” MC grinned cheekily as they gestured between the two. Lucifer suppressed a laugh which resulted in a very ugly snort. It was a good thing the sound was drowned out by Luke’s exclamations of betrayal.

The chorus of “how could you?!”s and “I thought you were over that awful nickname!”s was put to an abrupt halt when the visiting human elegantly offered a handshake to the fuming angel.

“MC spoke very highly of you,” they chirped. “It’s very nice to meet you, Luke.”

Luke blinked a few times, then quickly straightened his posture, adjusted his hat, then shook MC’s ren’s hand. “It’s nice to meet you too.”

“That’s Simeon.” MC jerked a thumb in Simeon’s direction. “And that’s Solomon.”

“Luke got a whole introduction and we get that? Come on MC, I thought we were friends.” Solomon fake pouted at MC after giving a polite nod to MC’s parent.

“We stopped being friends after one of the potions you had me test out turned me into a-” as quick as lighting, Mammon had shoved his hand into MC’s face.

“A-ah, MC’s rememberin’ stuff wrong, nothin’ potion related happened to ‘em. Right, Solomon???!”

Taking the hint from Mammon, Solomon smiled and nodded. “Nope, nothing related to turning MC into a frog for a few hours.”

“Hm, well I’m quite happy that absolutely nothing frog transformation related happened.” MC’s parent said.

“Yeah, must’ve hit their head on somethin- YEEEOW!” MC had bitten down on Mammon’s hand and slapped it away from them.

“I did not hit my head on anything!”

“Yeah,” Beel nodded. “Nothing’s hit them since the Fangol ball.”

“The what ball?” MC’s ren asked.

“The Fangol ball that hit MC a few months back and broke their glasses.” Five of the brothers slapped their hands to their foreheads.

“Oh my…”

“Eh,” MC patted their ren on the arm. “That’s nothing compared to the giant snake at the retreat.”

“Oh! Do you mind letting me tell that story, MC?”

Lucifer was frantically signalling for Diavolo to stop talking but the crown prince was already beginning his retelling of the events. Luke would chime in with an anecdote from an even worse misadventure the two had gone out on every once and a while. This… this wasn’t going well at all…

MC’s ren was… weirdly chill about the whole thing…

“Oh, it’s so nice that you’re having fun, sweetheart. That reminds me of when I was young and your aunt Clytemnestra and I would go out and have adventures.” “Really? You went on weird adventures too?” “…what kind of adventures could possibly compare to being chased by a giant snake in an underground labyrinth..?”

The side characters ended up needing to abscond for various reasons and all that was left was the brothers, MC, and MC’s parent.

They made it to the HOL without issue, which is when Lucifer remembered that he did not put all the cursed objects out of reach… shit.

“Asmo… Asmo!” “What is it?” “Take MC’s ren out of the house in half an hour, keep them occupied in the living room!” “What? Why?” “I need more time to human-proof the house! Distract them, but no funny business!” “Dear brother, for the first time in a very long time funny business is the second thing on my mind! Wait… no, it’s the third… what have I become..?”

Asmo and Satan, super graciously by the way, led MC and their ren to the living room to distract- I mean entertain them for a bit!

Lucifer and the rest of the gang got to work moving certain things around and closing certain doors- shit where was Cerberus?! Did Lucifer forget to walk him that morning?!

So much to dooooooo…

So maybe bringing a human into Majolish and letting them roam around unsupervised wasn’t the best idea Satan and Asmo had, but it sure as heck was an idea. MC looked through shelves of hairpins and bracelets while their ren disappeared around a corner to look at scarves.

“We’re doing such a great job babysitting!” Asmo clapped his hands. “If MC had just been a normal human I bet they’d last the entire year under our care.”

“Hm, you might be right.” Satan smiled and nodded. “Humans are surprisingly entertaining.”

“Yes… speaking of, where exactly is the human?”

The sudden sound of metal slamming against flesh and the delayed sound of something incredibly heavy hitting the floor jolted Asmo and Satan from their conversation.

“Honestly, some people have no fucking manners!”

It was such a different voice than what Satan and Asmo were used to that the only thing that tipped them off to it being MC’s ren was the fact that MC began to giggle. MC’s ren stepped back into view carrying a metal staff that quickly transformed back to their parasol.

Asmo and Satan rushed over to check if their defenceless little human guest was okay, only to find some lesser demon passed out on the floor with an incredibly nasty bump on the side of their head.

“I’ve heard that humans are apparently quite delicious to demons but I didn’t expect someone to actually try and eat me.”

“I-um…” Satan sputtered, looking from Asmo to MC’s parent. “We’re uh…”

“You alright, ren?” MC called from over by the bracelet shelves.

“Yes, I’m alright.” MC’s ren gave the fourth and fifth born a calming smile. “No harm done, well, except to that poor bastard. I do hope I haven’t killed him… that would be such a nasty thing for the poor sales associates to find.”

Okay so maybe the defenceless human wasn’t so defenceless. That was a good thing… right?

“So where exactly did you manage to get your hands on such a weapon..?” “Ah, I come from a family of witches. This was a college graduation present.”

…doit doit seems legit.

The four made it back home just in time, Lucifer and the others had finished human proofing the house.

Yay!

The house tour went by smoothly, everything was all well and good until Beel and Belphie asked MC’s ren to make more cookies.

Oh god dammit the human said they would.

“Oh Beel, you shouldn’t eat the cookie dough raw… the eggs and raw flour will make you sick!” “Don’t worry, he’ll be fine. Besides, it’s best not to interrupt Beel while he’s eating.” “Yeah it might end like the custard incident.” “Custard… incident?” “MC and Mammon ate my custard and I ended up breaking the wall that connected to MC’s room.” “Hunger tantrums, am I right?”

After that it was Mammon and Levi’s turn to babysit. It went about as well as you’d think.

Levi explained some anime plot in an attempt to make it seem like the Devildom was totally safe and that MC and their ren could stay forever no problem, while Mammon desperately suppressed the urge to swipe the cool parasol.

Finally, it was time for the verdict. Would MC be allowed to stay in the Devildom..? Or would they go back to the human world..?

“Lucifer?”

The demon in question looked up from his paperwork and tried to nod in the most casual way possible. MC’d ren was standing in the doorway, Lucifer must have missed their knock. “Yes? Do you need something?”

MC’s ren smiled and nodded. “It’s about MC’s living situation going forward.”

Lucifer stiffened and got up from his desk. “Y-yes… what about it?”

“MC has expressed that they want to stay here full time with frequent visits to the human world.” The softness that their voice had earlier in the day was completely absent as the human stepped forward into the study and closed the door behind them. “I want to know what you think about that.”

“Well,” Lucifer cleared his throat and tried to shake off the stupid sense of nervousness that had wrapped itself around him. A weak little human’s decision should not make him so anxious! “I would like for MC to stay here as well, I think it would be best for them.”

The human raised an eyebrow and twirled their parasol in their hand. “Really now? In your year with them you truly believe you know what’s best for them?”

Lucifer’s eyes narrowed. “Yes. I do.”

MC’s ren went quiet for a few seconds before replying. “I see.”

“And that means..?”

“I knew this day would come, but I didn’t think it’d be so soon.” MC’s ren sighed, and for the first time all day, they actually let their exhaustion show. “I raised MC knowing that one day they’d end up in the Devildom. They’ve told me over and over again how much they like it down here…” the human took a deep breath and slowly shook their head. “If this is what they want… then I give my permission for them to stay with you.”

A wave of relief swept over Lucifer as he finally took a breath. “Thank you.”

“Mm… I’m going to have to use my favour though.”

The relief completely vanished as the Avatar of Pride’s blood ran cold. Memories flooded back from the one night the pair had spent together, the human had offered a cursed record to him that he had spent decades trying to find, in exchange, Lucifer let them have one favour. A favour from a demon was like a single pact order, Lucifer had to do literally anything this human wanted.

“Protect MC, even if it costs you your life.” The human’s words were careful and measured as Lucifer felt the order sink in. “You’ll do that for them, right Lucifer?”

Lucifer nodded as life flooded back into his limbs. “I would have done it without the order.”

So, the brother’s plan to make MC’s ren stay forever failed because they were going back to the human world with MC for summer vacation. Listen, it was needed, MC needed to see the sun lest they shrivel like a sad houseplant.

At least Lucifer technically had primary custody of his little heathen! Victory!

MC said their goodbyes to the friends they had made over the year as they prepared to leave for the next two months, it was filled with so many bone-crushing hugs that MC was surprised that their spine didn’t snap.

MC and Luke had lagged behind the much larger group as they made their way to the assembly hall. MC’s ren was dazzling the miniature crowd with stories of just how adorable MC was as a little kid. The half demon rolled their eyes and silently mourned the loss of any cool points they had gained over the year. Their little companion was oddly quiet, MC lightly nudged him and smiled.

“Aren’t you happy to be going home? You’ve been griping about being stuck down here the entire year. Don’t tell me you’re getting sappy, Luke.”

Luke puffed his cheek out and crossed his arms. “Of course I’m happy to be leaving, the Celestial Realm is the best place ever, the Devildom is completely terrible in every way.”

MC smirked and rolled their eyes again. Just let the little guy go on his rant…

“But… I am going to miss you…” Luke mumbled, MC’s eyebrows shot upwards as they turned their head to look at him. “Th-thanks for being my friend down here… MC. You’re… you’re really nice.”

To their absolute horror, MC felt a lump form in their throat. Oh dear Grandfather… the chihuahua was what broke them?! They quickly looked around to see if anyone was paying attention, then quickly pulled Luke into a hug. The hug was over as fast as it began, but it seemed that Luke didn’t particularly care and was more shocked at the sudden bout of affection.

“If anyone, and I mean anyone asks, I didn’t hug you.” MC murmured, quickly swiping at their eyes.

Luke nodded, a small smile spread across his face. “Got it!”

So the side characters left… *sniffle* everything’s okay… the DDDs work in any of the realms… they could still talk.

Soon, it was time for the final sets of goodbyes…

“Come on, Bean, we’re going to the human world!” MC tried to take the cat from Satan, who didn’t move a muscle.

“If you think you’re taking the cat from here, you’re delusional.” Satan’s smile didn’t leave his face, but the force behind his words was almost enough to make MC back off. Almost…

“My caaaaaat!” MC whined, they ended up getting lightly pushed away by Satan.

“Remember, the summer’s a good time to catch up on anime!” Levi advised. “There’s 24 hours in a day, and an average anime episode is 22 minutes long, you have loads of time!”

“I’ll keep up with my anime only if you promise to listen to the Death Note musical, Levi.” MC giggled and patted Levi on the shoulder.

“Remember MC, take care of your cuticles and your skin.” Asmo took MC’s hand and checked their fingernails. “They were an absolute mess before you got here, so I expect you to keep up your routines this summer!”

“Yeeeeeeeeeeees siiiiiiiiirrrrrrrrr.”

“Bye MC,” Beel handed MC a half opened cup of custard. “I almost ate it, but I didn’t. Make sure you don’t skip any meals this summer.

MC jumped up and gave Beel a quick hug. “Thanks Beel! I’ll be sure to enjoy the custard!”

“Bye, MC. See you next year.” Belphie stood awkwardly stiff, not exactly sure what to do. MC pursed their lips, then quickly wrapped him up in a hug.

“Bye Belphie, I hope all your pillow forts are structurally unsound.”

The avatar of sloth snickered and rested his head on MC’s. “I hope you get really comfortable and are fully ready to go to sleep, then realize you have to pee.”

MC gasped in fake offence and swatted Belphie on the arm.

Mammon put both his hands on MC’s shoulders, his face unusually serious. “Do ya remember what the great Mammon took painstakin’ effort to teach ya?”

“Payday loans are scams, witches are scary, bowline knots are the easiest to undo, don’t wear reflective sunglasses to a poker game aaaaaaaand…” MC grinned mischievously. “Any plan thought up by the Great Mammon should be subject to intense revision.”

“That’s ri- hey!” Mammon laughed and shoved MC towards Lucifer.

MC looked up at Lucifer, the pride demon looked down at them fondly. He reached out and gently ruffled their hair. “I’ll see you next year, MC.”

“Y-yeah…”

Lucifer crouched down slightly to get to their level and gave MC a smile. “I’m very proud of you, you’ve been an immense help this year. Thank you for everything.”

“Thanks for not being a stereotypical supervillain dad, father.” MC smiled softly and fixed their glasses. “Loveyoubye!”

MC turned and rushed to their ren’s side as Lucifer let out a soft chuckle.

“I love you too, MC.”

As Barbatos readied the portal to send the pair to the human world, MC couldn’t wipe the grin off their face. Geez, if this year was a metric mess of fun and insanity… what was the next year going to be like? The half demon’s grin morphed into a bit of a smirk. No way in hell their next year in the Devildom was going to be as insane as their first year.

MC almost giggled as they gave their family one last wave. That wasn’t the time to think about the future, besides, MC knew that it would take two insane chaotic humans to be summoned into the Devildom to even come close to the chaos MC managed to create, both on purpose and by accident.

And what were the odds of that happening?

——————

Authors Note: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ITS DONE SEASON ONE IS DONE!

I wasn’t able to fit the Anti Lucifer League stuff into this one, I’ll put it in a separate fic later!

I NOW NEED TO WORK ON GETTING THROUGH SEASON 2 IN THE ACTUAL GAME. To get mildly serious for a second, thanks to everyone who has stuck around to listen to me spout my fic-y nonsense, you all are nerds (affectionate) and I love you.

[retphienix]

Well ho buddy was this a fantastic turn of events, and I ain't exaggerating- this was tense, interesting, surprising, played into some foreshadowing (both that I picked up on, and didn't), and depending on your read on humanity as a whole it's either extremely depressing or hope filled (I'm an optimist).

First off, we fought the Holy Grail. This accomplished nothing as every turn it was healed by the wishes of the masses.

Cool cool.

Losing caused Mementos and the real world to merge which was a sick sight and even gave us some views of our confidants seeing this horror while the masses don't- Very cool.

Not so cool (who am I kidding, EXCEEDINGLY cool) was the intense as hell death scene for our party.

Uh. Yeah.

The sheer horror in many of these line reads and just, the whole truth of this event. I could rant on it's impact for ages but I'd just be going in circles with how bone chilling some of the cries were. The tl;dr is simply that with Mementos and the real world merged, our existence is based on the cognition of the masses- and since they have been conditioned to stop believing we ever existed, we simply cease.

I definitely was gonna make a joke only I laugh at of seeing the worst shit ever happen and saying "Yay! Good end achieved!" but this was honestly just chillin' and good stuff.

To follow were some reveals that cover the spectrum of "Well DUH" to "Huh, I was close" to "Oh! Didn't see it being that!" all while being foreshadowed in some way from top to bottom which is always a good reveal in my book.

The twins weren't always 2, which I guessed far in advance, and had spoiled far after I guessed it by some guide saying the outings you can do will allow you to meet the fused version (or something).

Cool!

Fused em back together.

Cool!

Igor.... WASN'T Igor.

That's a surprise for me since I haven't touched the series before- maybe it wasn't for others- I'm of the impression he exists in some prior game and that would hint at this, not sure.

The Igor who has guided us all game was actually the Grail itself. Apparently the god that it is made a bet with Igor over humanity's fate and cheated the bet to boot; Instead of allowing Igor to guide us to open humanity's eyes- to promote individuality and dissuade humanity's downward spiral of abusing content-ment in ways to harm the majority to benefit the few etc etc- the Grail instead used this position to take the best hope for humanity (us) and doom us to despair by raising us high and dropping us low.

He offers us a bad end option, I have no idea if that's real or not, I chose the fight on option because I might not know if I can even really attain that but I sure as hell ain't giving up at any point.

Also real Igor doesn't sound like fake Igor- THAT blew my mind and fucked me up.

Fake Igor and the Grail had the same voice (with different effects) so I guessed it was Igor, obviously, but then the rest of the reveal was a surprise and real Igor sounding so different was just wild lol.

[quazartranslates]

Welcome to the Nightmare Game II - CH53

**This is an edited machine translation. For more information, please [click here]**

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

-----

Chapter 53: Purgatory Reunion (V) {cw: attempted suicide, religious guilt}

There were too many demons. There were too many demons.

The space by his feet had already been filled with corpses, and the whole lake of fire was floating with the stench of sulfur and demon blood, but it seemed that no matter how he killed them, he couldn’t kill them all.

Ning Zhou watched the steady stream of demons, from the initial tension to the final numbness. He tried every demon with Maria's sword of judgment, and finally… tried himself.

After entering Purgatory, the burning wounds on his abdomen had become more and more painful, lost consciousness, and there was no divine power in the body that had once been filled with holy power to protect him. Then, the evil power had gradually returned to him.

Ning Zhou already knew what it was. For many years, his mother Maria's worried eyes and her awkward words have planted too many questions in his heart. Now, he finally understood.

When he was young, he had once asked her who his father was.

Maria had sat by the bed and watched the sunset, remaining silent for a long time.

He persisted in asking his mother again.

Maria took his little hand and gently answered him, "He was someone who was lost."

"It's a long, long road, and no one knows where the end is. Your father and I met unexpectedly. We walked along the same road, passed many beautiful sights along the way, and left many beautiful memories. We said goodbye briefly at a fork in the road and agreed that we would continue walking. But he got lost... He walked a long way and gradually forgot everything from the past. He gained power that ordinary people could not imagine, but he even forgot his name."

"Did he forget you, too?" the small Ning Zhou asked anxiously.

A faint smile appeared on Maria's pale face: "No, he hasn't forgotten me. He didn't forget me all his life. On the day we met again, he looked at me for a long time and asked me... ‘who are you?’"

Ning Zhou looked at her in confusion and asked, "’Who are you?’ Doesn’t that mean he forgot?"

But he didn't know that a man who had forgotten himself and everything else had found his true love in the vast sea of people. At that moment, no matter what question he asked, it didn't matter.

The fact that he could find this person had already shown that he had never forgotten his love.

　　&&&

In a dark room, a long table with more than a dozen seats was surrounded by people, each of whom silently looked at the magic mirror suspended on the table which displayed this scene of carnage from the bottom of his heart.

"Is it okay to let him kill like this again?" the Witch of Nothingness asked gently, with her eyes closed and her hands folded on her lower abdomen.

The Witch of Desperation, covered in a black robe, looked at the bright red lake of fire in the magic mirror, but there was no magic in her empty eyes: "It doesn't matter. As long as he can fully awaken his original force, it doesn't matter how much of that trash he kills."

"I'm afraid he won't want to. Don't forget, he was originally from the Holy See," the Witch of Nothingness warned.

"Haha, have you forgotten? His Majesty was also very close with the Holy See. To be precise, he and the Holy See’s Holy Nun was the object of his affections. Even when his original force had awakened fully and he forgot his whole family, he was still holding a Canon all day long. But wasn't it him who finally took us into the human world?" the Devil of Evil smiled, not sharing his colleagues’ worry.

The Witch of Resentment held her forehead in one hand: "Please, don't remind me of the days when I studied hard to please His Majesty with the scriptures. I have no interest in the things of the Holy See. I would rather boil my potions."

The Witch of Nothingness smiled faintly. "Have you ever noticed that all the Devil Kings have some abnormal hobbies? When you count them carefully, none of them looks like a normal demon. However, compared with the subordinates of the Devil of Slaughter, we should feel content."

The group of higher demons laughed meaningfully.

To the demons, following a Devil King did not mean that they agreed with that person’s personality, but that they followed the force that that person represented. Just like this group, who had tied their own destiny with the force of destruction, who had known both glory and utter ruin. In the twenty years after the fall of the old Devil, their power had also declined to even less than half of its heyday.

They were too eager to have a new Lord of Destruction and renew destruction’s original force. As for who that person was, they didn't care.

"I heard one thing. Our new Majesty had a lover whom he loves deeply, but he died. It's a pity that the Devil of Fraud killed him. If he was still alive..." The Devil of Evil smiled with interest. "How interesting it would be."

"Why did the Lord of Fraud kill her?" the Witch of Nothingness asked doubtfully.

"God knows. Oh, by the way, he’s a man."

"Isn't His Majesty a follower of the Holy See?" Even the Witch of Resentment was shocked. Those who had been around since the old Lord of Destruction were familiar with the Holy See’s teachings, and they were very clear about the Holy See’s attitude towards same-sex love.

"He was drained of the power of faith and expelled from the Holy See. Otherwise, do you think that with such little stimulation alone he could awaken the Devil’s force sealed in his body? That's the seal left by Maria." The Devil of Evil laughed very exaggeratedly. "Ah, for love, I am willing to abandon the glory of God! ...It is really a romance branded in blood."

"Unfortunately, it seems that this time I can't see the touching love story," the Witch of Resentment sighed faintly.

"Attention, His Majesty is beginning to show the form of a magic dragon. Record the time. It is... 8:47 in the evening. If you’re optimistic, he could be completely demonized within 24 hours. I can't wait." The Devil of Evil looked at the Devil's black body in the lake of fire and the human who had begun to show the Devil's characteristics, and couldn't help but smile with expectation.

"I hope nothing will happen in these twenty-four hours. Contact the Dragon Ant Queen and order that Purgatory be sealed off now, especially in the area around the lake of fire," the Witch of Desperation said. "Don't say it’s in our name... The seal on the Devil of Slaughter is suspected to be loose, other people will naturally associate this with the Devil of Power."

"I’m afraid that the Dragon Ant Queen can't be contacted. Considering the time, she is now busy with 'life events'," said the Devil of Evil.

"Then contact her maid, she still has the authority to deal with this matter," the Witch of Desperation said.

　　&&&

He was already in hell.

Ning Zhou looked at everything around him and suddenly had this thought.

After the crazy battle, there were countless bodies of demons floating in the lake of fire, some of which had been swallowed up by lava, and some of which were rushing towards the lower reaches of the valley with the burning current.

The air seemed to be filled with scorching flames, burning from his mouth to his heart, and even his soul was ignited.

He stood in Purgatory’s lake of fire, inexorably transforming from a man into a devil.

How fragile human will was, that it couldn't prevent a man from dying, or a saint from degenerating into a demon.

Sharp talons grew on his hands, and his skin became cold and rough like a cold-blooded animal. Black scales spread all over his body like a plague, and a pair of bat-like wings grew behind him. He couldn't control the power of destruction. He had lost his human form and turned into a huge magic dragon.

A devil among demons, a Devil King among devils, an evil magic dragon symbolizing destruction. According to legend, the ancient world was destroyed by such a magic dragon, which had woken from chaos, flew while spraying angry flames that spread in all directions, and destroyed the whole world.

This kind of magic dragon had really appeared once in history. Twenty-two years ago, when the Devil of Destruction had led the demons to break through the seal and come to the world of humans. His demon form was just such a magic dragon. He held the law of destruction, but also the madness of destruction, wishing to destroy the world at all costs.

What had been a vague feeling had finally come true. When the force of destruction awakened, he understood everything.

It was ridiculous. Those who fought against the demons eventually became demons. Those who stared long into the abyss finally fell into the abyss. The evil force sleeping deep in his body laughed at him: Your whole life is a joke.

Fate had taken away everything from him: his only relative, his beloved, and now it wanted to destroy his last treasure.

Everything about him as a "human" had ceased to exist. What else could he do? What else could he do for this miserable world? What was the value of his existence?

Immense grief struck his soul, and the desperate black dragon roared and wailed at the sky blocked by rocks in the lake of fire. The force of destruction even tore the rock wall and let the distant light fall into Purgatory.

He looked at the light dazedly, as piously as when he had prayed so many times.

"He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.”

But why had fate given him such a cruel temptation? And he had been banished from his homeland; would God still help him and protect him?

Not anymore.

He was doomed to fall to such temptation.

Because God had given up on him.

Like the man who gave him half his blood, he would gradually lose himself to the original force of destruction, forget everything about himself, forget how he had once guarded the world, and finally bring endless pain and despair to this world.

Let it all end here.

Suicide was a sin, but if he lived, he would eventually bring more disasters and misfortunes to this scarred world.

He couldn't end the cruel fate imposed by this world, so at least he could not bring more suffering to this world.

Let him end it with his own hands!

In this lake of fire in Purgatory, holding warm memories, he would put a full stop to his life with this heart that still belonged to mankind.

But at that moment, he heard a voice that was too familiar to be a memory: "Ning Zhou—!!!”

He stopped at the edge of destruction and looked up.

Looked up to see the love of his life, returned to him.

-----

[<<< Previous Chapter | Table of Contents | Next Chapter >>>]

[abarbaricyalp]

Vampire/vampire hunter au? Sam/bucky or sam/steve/Bucky <333

Omgggggg I know you've been waiting for, like, six hundred years for this. And I know it was supposed to be a drabble.

But.

I like monsters.

I'm putting the first section here, on account of it's 16,000+ words total. The link to AO3 will be in the reblog

Put Your Teeth Into My Beating Heart

“Man, what the hell are these things?” Sam asked as he wrenched another stake out of a decaying ribcage. Moonlight streamed down the stake until it hit the dark blood on the end. Not as gory as a fight between a handful of vampires and two hunters could be. Still unpleasant.

“Ancient,” Steve said while he wiped down the shield with holy water, ground garlic, and silver flakes. “They’re not pure bloods, they were turned. But it looks like they were turned closer to Varnae than Morbius. Much closer.”

Sam pulled another stake free and then started collecting the much smaller silver spear-heads. “So why are they emerging now? Clearly they have no preservation skills. They ran right at us with no attack plan.”

“Could be anything. A decoy. A mind-controlled army. Something that’s been slumbering and has only just been awakened.”

Sam’s lips curled up in distaste and he finished sheathing the stakes. No sense in cleaning them yet. There was always more to do before the sun rose. “Why is it only the ancient ones that slumber? Why can’t they all decide to take a really long nap right now?”

Steve laughed, though it was not as light as Sam had heard it before, and clapped a hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Next time we find ourselves in front of the Council, you can suggest that to them.”

Sam kneeled down to break off bone fragments and teeth to take back with them. There were usually answers in vampire bodies, if someone knew how to read the text. Luckily, Sam knew vampire bodies very well.

He and Steve had been hunting vampires for years now. Sam had to admit, a walking World War II icon was not who he expected as an ally in vampire hunting. To be fair, though, he hadn’t ever really thought about vampire hunting in the first place. He’d only been looking for one. He found Steve instead.

Steve seemed to be looking for all of them with a wild sort of vengeance driving him. At first, Sam thought Steve had been bitten, between the strength and the regeneration and the fact he still looked twenty five after almost a century on ice. But that was just the super soldier serum, which was a good thing because Steve hated vampires and Sam was pretty sure Steve wouldn’t still be around if he’d been turned.

The extent of Sam’s knowledge about Steve’s history with vampires was that Dracula had something to do with the battlefields of World War II. They had teamed up to keep armies off of the grounds of Transylvania. Then Dracula and some mad scientist named Ravencroft began experiments on soldiers and that was around the time Steve vowed to stop all vampires. Sam assumed the three gouges that ran down the length of Steve’s face contributed to his hatred as well.

Sam was a soldier. He knew the look of a person who had lost someone important to them. He just couldn’t get Steve to say who it was or what had happened.

Then again, Sam had his own secrets, so he didn’t push too hard.

“Hey, Steve, come look at these hearts,” Sam called and wrenched a punctured one free.

“What about them?” Steve asked from across the room, coming over slowly so he could examine each body between him and Sam, as if he could see hearts through skin and ribcages.

“They’re full of blood. But there’s none in the rest of the bodies. I thought they just hadn’t fed when I first saw them but…” Sam dragged a silver knife down the arm of the vampire in front of him and found only skin and bone and dry muscle. “This just makes them easier to kill. No chance of reanimation when the stake is removed.”

Steve hummed and scratched his neck absently. He did it all the time. Sam thought he was checking for puncture wounds. “I’d say husks, but you don’t have to feed husks.”

“What about mules?” Sam asked suddenly.

“What are mules?”

“I mean, what if they’re just being used to move blood from one place to another.”

“That’s a lot of work in a world where blood banks and the technology for them exists freely,” Steve pointed out.

“Yeah, but think of how often we’ve staked out blood banks to catch a dozen vampires in the act at a time. All hunters know to do that. Ambulances have stakes in them now. The world is evolving. Maybe vampires need to too.”

“If they’re mules, where are their shepherds?” Steve asked gravely. The thought sent a chill down Sam’s spine. “And why use ancient vampires?”

“If they’re reanimated, maybe someone found a mass grave. Besides, the longer something’s dead, the easier it is to control it. Or, like you said, they came up on a sleeping nest and overtook them all at once.”

Steve grunted and kicked a body. It dissolved into ash.

Something flashed behind Steve and by the time Sam really understood what he was seeing, he didn’t even have a chance to cry out. He leapt forward, putting his body between Steve and the vampire melting out of the shadows.

“Sam! No!” Steve shouted as the vampire tackled Sam down onto the ground. He didn’t have time to worry about his head hitting the tile because the next second, the vampire’s teeth were in his neck. It hurt like a bitch every time.

It hurt more when Steve tackled the vampire off of Sam and the vampire took a not insubstantial chunk of Sam’s skin with it. Sam was just about to throw himself into the fight, to protect Steve again, when he realized the vampire was spitting out his blood, staring at Sam wide eyed. The hands on Steve’s shoulders were only pushing him away, disregarded.

Steve also wasn't fighting. His wide eyes were focused on the vampire. It was a beautiful creature. Eyes so blue, Sam felt like he was getting frostbite just looking at them. Long hair that curled against his neck. Pale skin with blue veins snaking down strong features and long, elegant fingers. Lips so red-- Oh, right. That would be blood.

“Bucky?” Steve breathed.

The vampire looked away from Sam long enough to scan Steve’s features. “Who the hell is Bucky?” he asked and finished shoving his way out of Steve’s hold. “And what the fuck are you?” he asked Sam. “You’re not the Daywalker, but you’re not all vampire either. Why does your heart beat?”

“What? Buck-- Your name is James Buchanan Barnes. Don’t you remember who you are?”

Again, the vampire--Bucky, apparently, he was much sexier before Sam knew that--tore his eyes from Sam like it was the last thing he wanted to be bothered to do. “I don’t remember anything,” he said, like he’d said it a million times. “I don’t remember anything from before I was born.”

“Turned,” Steve said and held onto Bucky’s shoulders tightly. “You were turned. You were born a human, in 1917. Your parents’ names were George and Winnifried.”

“This information isn’t important to me,” Bucky said and wrenched Steve’s hands off of him.

“You have a metal arm,” Sam said and Steve jumped like it was the first time he was seeing it too. Sam kept a wary eye on him, trying to remember the stories Steve had told him on long night stakeouts and over painful breakfasts the mornings after brutal hunts. Bucky tickled something at the back of his head, but he couldn’t bring it forward. Mostly he was thinking about the blood seeping between his fingers on his neck.

“Observant. A vampire hybrid and you’ve got eyes. Wonders never cease,” Bucky said drily. “I assume you weren’t moving these things,” he said, and kicked a vampire body the same way Steve had. Again, it collapsed into ash.

“No,” Sam said evenly. “Which I assume means you weren’t either.”

“I was trying to track them down,” Bucky answered. “To kill them,” he added, as if that wasn’t clear.

“A vampire vampire hunter,” Sam said.

“We’re a fine pair.”

“What are you talking about, Buck? Sam’s human. Even more than me.”

Bucky barked out a laugh and Sam saw his fangs retract in the split second. When Bucky stepped towards him, Sam stepped back, which only made him pull an unimpressed face before he reached for Sam’s hand at his neck and pulled it away.

“It doesn’t work that fast,” Sam said, though he knew his skin had stitched together at least a little bit. His neck itched like crazy.

Bucky produced a cloth from one of the half dozen pockets in his jacket and wiped away the blood from Sam’s neck. It did not start bleeding again. Of course it didn’t, why would anything ever go his way?

“Sam, what the hell?” Steve asked and stepped over too, running his fingers over the fine skin where the wound had started to heal.

“Your friend is a hybrid,” Bucky said and shoved the cloth back into a pocket before the blood had finished dripping off of it. “But not one that I’ve ever seen.”

“Sam…” Steve said, looking to his friend for answers that Sam didn’t have. Unlike Bucky, he knew who he was before he was turned. It was the turning he didn’t remember.

“I just know it was the Claws that found me,” he said. “Or, at least, a handful of them. My partner got shot down, I went after him. Landed hard, got disoriented, got picked up by these weird things with total body wraps and orange eyes.”

“On account of the sun,” Bucky pointed out.

“Shut up, vampire. I was delirious by then and I don't remember anything else until I woke up in a pop-up military hospital by myself. Everyone else was dead and there was an icebox of blood bags next to me. That’s all the introduction into this life that I got.”

“What the fuck?” Steve said. “How did you fail to mention that?”

“Well, Steven, if you recall the first time I saw you, you were stabbing a vial of holy water into a vampire’s eye. Forgive me if I didn’t want to come clean immediately.”

“Badass,” Bucky said.

“I’m not done with you yet,” Steve snapped at him and then looked back at Sam. “What are you then? Why--How did you know you weren’t a full vampire?”

Sam shifted from foot to foot. “My heart still beats. And I can drink the blood of other vampires.”

Bucky’s head snapped up and it was his turn to take a step back. “Stay the fuck away from me,” he said.

“You already tried to eat me, asshole,” Sam snapped.

“No, I was trying to kill you. I had no desire to drink from you.”

“ I can touch silver. The sun doesn’t affect me as much,” Sam continued, ignoring the sexy but ultimately very irritating vampire next to him.

“A lot of hybrids take and leave the original characteristics. But I’ve only ever seen a beating heart in the Living Vampire and his creations. And he’s not actually a vampire,” Bucky said. Those light eyes landed on Sam again, thoughtful, studying.

“I’m not like Morbius,” Sam said tightly.

All three of them snapped their gazes to the door and the shadow pacing outside it. “We can continue this conversation later,” Steve said, face hardening for the encroaching battle. Sam turned to hand Bucky a wooden stake, a wordless truce, but the vampire was gone by the time the door burst inwards.

Again, there's more to this story. Much more. Link in the reblog.