#HIS VOICE DUDE I LOVE ITT

[cheesynachosworld]

GUYS….. I ACTUALLY 100% NON IRONICALLY THINK THAT HE’S PEAK CHARACTER DESING;; HIS FORM, HIS COLOR, HIS CLOTHES, HIS FULL NAME, HIS VOICE, HIS PERSONALITY,,, LIKE THERE’S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT HIM MAN……

[cookiepie11]

Playful "interrogation" (Style tickle fic)

Warnings:

This is a tickle fic (strictly sfw both characters are kids)

I am shipping Stan and style

Contains feet tickles

Some swearing (I censored them a bit :>)

"cmon Kyle, I know you have a crush, everyone at school is arguing about who it is!" Stan said to an annoyed and flustered Kyle

"I do not have a fucking crush!" Kyle yelled his voice going up a defensive tone

"Then what's with the blush? Huh" Stan teased

It was true Kyle had a big crush on someone. God knows how anyone found out but no one actually knows who it is. Kyle didn't really want his super best friend to know his crush so he was VERY embarrassed about the situation.

"shut up Stan!" Kyle said and hid his embarrassed face "quit teasing me a$Shøle I don't have a crush"

"hmm am I gonna have to make you tell me, Kyle?" Stan asked and wiggled his fingers towards his flustered friend, making Kyle's face go around 3 shades of red, darker.

Kyle felt his heart beat fast at the sight and he knew what was coming for him. He'd been tickled by Stan a ton of times and I mean he couldn't really say he disliked it.. oh what am I saying he loves been tickled by Stan but this time was different because he knew that he had something to confess.

"nohoo Stan don't" Kyle giggled backing into the corner "can we just move on from this whole thing I don't have a crush and tic-...doing that isn't going to make me feel any different.."

(Kyle can't say the t word to save his life)

"nope dude I'm not letting you get away so easy, b1tch" he teased and pounced on his red haired "friend"

"stahan nohoho this is so gahay" Kyle laughed and tried to squirm out of his crus- best friends's grip failing.

"I haven't even started yet" Stan laughed with Kyle and felt his face become warm and he hoped his blush wasn't noticeable

"JUST DOHO IT ALREADYY" Kyle yelled because he couldn't take the anpicitation (I can't spell)

"really dude? You want tickles that bad? Wow" Stan asked and started to claw at the giggling boys sides

"nohoho DUDE STOHHOP" his giggles turned into a loud boyish laughter

"hmm you gonna tell me your crush??" Stan asked but he didn't really care about that anymore he just wanted an exscuse to tickle Kyle :3

"noho dude I dohont have on- NAHAHA STAN NOT THEREE QUIT IT" he was cut off by Stan lifting up his shirt and Tickling his belly quickly

"dude tell meeee" he pleaded and tickled his ribs

"NOHOHO I DONT HAVE ONEE PLEASE STOPIT" He yelled and shook his head frantically making his hat fall off.

Kyle rarely took his hat off which Stan didn't get because his hair is so damn fluffy.

"ehehe I guess you want me to tickle right here don't you?" Stan asked and scratched his ears

"NOHOO PLEASE I CANT F#CKING TAKE ITT" he laughed and wriggled around like his life depended on it.

"just tell me your god damn crush then!" Stan said and smiled at his adorable "friend"

"NEHEVEERR! DUHUDE F#CK OFF" he cursed and forget to deny that he had a crush

"DUDE YOU DIDN'T DENY IT YOU HAVE A CRUSH!" Stan gasped and continued to tickle Kyle's bright pink ears "cmon you can tell me, I'm your best friend Kyle"

He was more genuine and less teasy when he said that last part.

"NAHAHA I HATE YOUU" Kyle yelled not really meaning it "STAHAPPP"

"ouch dude that really hurts my feelings" Stan joked "you know that was mean of you i think you deserve a punishment"

"NOHOHO IM SORRY" Kyle giggled he'd been tickled by Stan too many times to know what was coming

"too late Kyle" he teased and grabbed the extremely Flustered boy's foot and Tickling his toes

"NAHAHAHA STOP YOU ABSOLUTE A$$HOLE PLEAHEASEE?"

"don't worry I'll stop after this dude I don't wanna kill you" Stan said telling the truth

"BUT I DIDN'T TELL YOUHOU IT?"

"I don't really care who your crush is ,well maybe a little, I just wanted to tickle you lol"

"YOUHOU BAST@RD"

After a few more minutes Stan stopped leaving Kyle slightly disappointed but happy he could finnaly breath properly.

"you okay dude?" Stan asked and put his hand on Kyle's stomach (Kyle was laying down in a puddle of giggles)

"yehes, dohont touch meheh" he giggled still feeling phantom tickles on his stomach due to the light touch

"Oop sorry" Stan said and laughed a bit. He always loved seeing Kyle so giggly he found it so cute.

"I hatehe youhou" Kyle said and grabbed Stan's hand and held it.

"your litteraly holding my hand dum@ss" Stan said and laughed

"my crush.....is....you.." Kyle whispered

WOOO cliffhanger should I make a part 2?

That took alot of motivation out of me so don't expect another long fic anytime soon 😭

Tell me what y'all think maybe I'll write more south park someday

[fazbear-enterprises]

HI HI IM SO GLAD YOURE BACK i really love this blog AND I LOVE THE VOICE CLAIMS FOR THEM ALL SO MUCH DKJFHDF. jeremy as raggedy andy esp, i am <3<3<3 over them

also it was really funny to get all these unique voice claims as them. and then just boom, scott cawthon /lhlh

and fRITZ AS JERMA??? i am running up the walls. /vpos

AAAAAAA IM GLAD YOU DO!!!! tbh the ONLY ones i really struggled on was fritz and mike, mike was ALMOST john marshton from rdr (bc I've been playing rdr2 and LOVING ITT) and fritz to be Ethan Nester!! ALSO DUDE THE ONLY REASON WHY HES JERMA IS BC I LITERALLY SLEEP TO JERMA STREAMS. AND I DREAMT THAT FRITZ HAD HIS VOICE. IT CAME TO ME VIA PROPHESY. APOLLO GRACED ME.

-admin bob

[anatrik]

First thoughts:

Lavender haze feels like Lover and Future Nostalgia’s incredible love child.

Maroon is about Harry. There’s too many 1989 references for it to be anything else. This chorus reached into my chest and punched me in my fucking heart. Also I need a compilation of Taylor saying fuck for mental health purposes

Anti hero is everything I expected it to be. Its me. Hi. Im the problem. Its me.

Does anyone else feel like the verse of snow on the beach is just like the verse of the way I loved you???? Also no lana verse?🥹 why no lana verse?🥹 i cri

Track 5 felt so not sad until she dropped her voice for ‘you’re own your own kid you always have been’ and then I died😂 and then the ending is so uplifting You’re on your own but you can do it and yk what now that Taylor said it, it does feel possible 🥹

Who tf is singing on Midnight rain? Oh wait taylors back oh wait who tf is back now?

Can I ask you a Question? My god so passive aggressive I love itt

Vigilante shit has my hair on end omggg. The beattt. I don’t dress up for women I don’t dress up for men I dress up for revenge. Any dude who does a girl dirty this year is just asking for it. She’s going to destroy you with these lyrics all over her ig stories

Bejewelled. One word shimmer ✨ iykyk. Bejewelled is if the bad bitch of reputation stopped giving a fuck. Major Anthem.

Labyrinth. If it rises fast it cant last😭 we’re back to soul crushing I see. Oh the eldritch horror from midnight rain is back on its cameo shit.

Karma. Fuck yea go straight for the jugular babe. Give us everything. Karma is a cat purring in my lap? Me and Karma vibe like that? Fuck YES QUEEN. Karma IS your boyfriend. Hell shes your handmaiden.

Sweet nothing. There’s something about songs Joe writes that really get me. Its just so cuteeee. I spy with my little tired eye🥹

Mastermind? Already? No? We cant be done???? This is a love song?? Wtf😂😂😂😂. Plot fucking twist.

Vigilante shit and Maroon have me on the ground for different reasons both good ones though. Ughhh I love this album so so muchhhh

Album as a whole completely defied my expectations. I was expecting a sad, crying in my bedroom vibe and its more of a manic in the bathroom of a club vibe like yk she’s going to go home and fall apart in the worst way but this is that moment when shes running on pure fumes and manic energy

[terushimas-n1-hater]

Airport fun

How i think flying with sugawara would be like

Character(s): sugawara koushi

Genre: fluff, mabye crack

Warnings: I guess flying on a plane 😐

An: as a person who travels almost every year, I thought this is a fun idea of like how travelling with suga is like :) this is pretty long so uh yeah

Masterlist.🏐

@. ALL CREDITS GOES TO SHOTOSIMP2, DO NOT REPOST ONLY LIKE, AND/OR REBLOG THANK YOU.

• Lets get into itt!!

• lets say that this flight would be in the early morning

• okay I know sugawara would wake you up at like a reasonable time like 3-4 hours before the flight

• like that you both have time to take a shower, eat breakfast pretty quickly then go

• also sugawara would NOT let you pack your stuff at the day of the flight

• like it has to be one or two days before the flight

• he does that to prevent getting late and to have time for yourselves

• if you're like me and you just cant for the love of god sit in one place and pack all your shit

• he's here!! He would help you and mabye even tell you to do something else while he does it for you 😫

• after he's done with you're bag he would ask you if he did anything wrong since there is shows/makeup just general stuff that might ruin clothes

• I also feel like he would watch those "BEST packing tips and hacks 2020"

• if you do use makeup and you put it in same bag as your clothes he would put like?? Plastic thing on top of the clothes and then put the makeup on top so if it spills it doesn't ruin ur clothes.

• its the next morning sugawara already set a bath for your cute ass tehe. Also made breakfast LIKE?? BRO STOP BEING SO HOT ☹

• OKAY so everything is done ur both ready its time to go

• he's the type to go to the airport with his car and park it there and when he comes back he comes back home using hes car that he parked there, so you're both in the car listening to music opened windows and holding hands plz yall cute asf

• OKAY BUT YOU CANT TELL ME SUGA ISNT THE TYPE TO PUT HIS HAND ON YOUR THIGH WHEN DRIVING

• okay here is the fun part

• you and suga arrive ant the airport and you took your bags out of the car and put on the bag holder thing that you move around IDK WHAT ITS NAME OKAY BARE WITH ME

• you go inside this is the 4 time suga had told you to check the passport and the tickets lmao

• when you're both done with all of the passport situation thing and your now both empty handed and all you have to do is wait for the plane

• there is a tiny problem tho

• the plane is going to arrive IN TWO HOURS

• and you both have separated seats on the fucking plane

• suga was kinda freaking out because wtf what if you sit next to some creepy dude?!? Like he knows you can fight and all but he just cant bare the thought

• you calmed him down telling him that its okay and we could tell someone when we DO get on the plane

• because you're main concern is not about if u two sit next to each other or not, its THAT YOU HAVE TO WAIT 2 HOURS TO ACTUALLY GO ON THE PLANE

• You both sit there for a sec and just start to giggle a bit lmao

• okay okay

• You and suga start to go around in these like stores in the airport yk?

• And yall just look at the all the candy and that is so expensive for no fucking reason

• Sugawara is literally laughing at you because you stood there for 10 minutes on and off about how the only chocolate the sell is so expensive

• "😠"

• "💀✋"

• He told if you want it that bad he wouldn't mind buying the box of chocolate for you, And he did

• for "fun" in his words

• And the chocolate tasted like fucking SHIT

• ITS SO BAD DOES NOT HAVE ANY SUGAR ITA JUST CHOCOLATE AND LIKE BARELY ANY SUGAR BRO. DRY NOT EVEN SWEET AND KINDA SALTY LMAOO HELP

• rich people chocolate basically

• AND HE'S JUST LAUGHING HIS HEAD OFF HE CANT KEEP IT IN ANYMORE

• You both didn't know what to do with this hella expensive chocolate box. Like none of you liked it that would be a waste of money

• And sugawara thought it would be better if we give it to A STRANGER on the airport

• Just like that 😕

• He took the box and went to someone that was sitting in a cafe and said hey heres this its a gift. He hands the man a box of fucking chocolate that doesn't even taste like chocolate

• LAMOOO THE MAN THOUGHT IT WAS GOIMG TO KILL HIM BECAUSE IT DOES NOT TASTE LIKE A CHOCOLATE ITS 4:39 IM LINGFIELD SO HARD AT THIS I CANT

• so ya!! You and suga go around more lil candy stores and got like gummy bears and lollipops bc y not

• SO MANY PEOPLE LOOKED AT YALL LIKE THEY HAVE NEVER SEEN GROWN UPS EAT CANDY AND HOLD HANDS EVERRR ITS SO FUNNY

• for my fem readers and anyone with boobies and or ass

• um 😐

• LMAOO when yall were buying candy this dude was trying to hit on u okay AND HE THOUGHT..THAT YOU BUYING CANDY WAS FOR YOUR?? KID?? (There was a kid next to u guys so he thought it was yours)

• SO THAT DUDE CAME UP TO YOU SAYING "ayooo didnt know we have nice milfs in our area..aha 😩" "MILF?" And the problem is sugawara was no fuckin help HE WAS LAUGHING 🤥

• they guy got embarrassed and LEFT AGAGHAHAHA

• okay done for this part

• but yeah you guys eat the candy he also got smothies too!!

• when you were both done you checked the time to see that you both have 50 minutes until the your plane arrives

• and suga thought it would be better to head to the waiting room since less people would be there

• you both were sitting on the chairs where the big windows are in front of them, you could see bags getting transferred and planes.

• you rested you head on sugawaras shoulder, pulling out your phone and headphones giving sugawara the left and you got the right

• you two were sitting looking at the view while listening to 505 (arctic monkeys) sugawara put his right hand around your waist pulling you closer to him

• you could her the whispers and 'aww's from old granny's that were sitting on the other side

• sugawara was rubbing his hand on your waist, he still hasn't realised that you fell asleep.

• when he did, he smiled to himself he moved to kiss the crown of your head until he woke you up by accident

• he told you everything is fine and that you should go back to sleep. he gently pushed you so your head could reach his thighs, before you did you looked around still not alot of people are around so you felt more comfortable

• you rested your head on his lap he starts to smile and play with your head making you fall asleep again.

• you were woken up by sugawaras gentle voice telling you that its time to wake up. You looked around there were more people in the waiting room than before you slept, you looked at sugawara he was smiling at you

• when you got yourself together again you asked suga when its time to get going he said after 10 minutes. You looked in your bag making sure everything is there

• when you closed your bag again you moved around to see sugawara smiling softly while staring at you "your so cute"

• sugawara was talking to the flight attendants asking them if they can change the seats, where they accepted and helped you two get in your shared seats (yes its that easy sometimes)

• God he looks so cute sleeping on your lap like that, his eyes shut with his mouth just open a bit.

• you're playing with his hair, while watching the movie on the mini TV infront of you

• there were a group of girls that sat next to you, and every now and then they would glance at the two of you- actually they were looking at suga

• even one of them wanted to make a conversation with him earlier, but you ignored it all

• although you knew that sugawara koushi, your husband wouldn't hurt your feelings like that

• because the moment he saw the discomfort of your face he immediately tried to end the flirty conversation.

• plus none of the girls were even his type LMAOAOA

[koalaaquabear]

The 5 hour finale live stream just concluded and y’all, it was crazy. It has been a wonderful several months with all you guys and I am so excited for April 8th and Junior Year. 

MASSIVE SPOILERS UNDER THE FOLD IF YOU HAVE NOT WATCHED THE STREAM YET. Here is my clusterfuck of a commentary. Enjoy!

Fantasy High: Sophomore Year Live Reaction -HOOT GROWL BABY it's time. I didn't react to part one but wOW that one was crazy. Get ready for EMOTIONS :'(( -SIG FIG RESCUE MISSION lol #ontour -well ok brennan that canopy shit is scary as fuck -murph is still looking like riz -Zaphriel and Ayda!!!!!!! -"HOLD ME BACK GORGUG" i love u emily -Brennan I stg -Ayda is Gorgug's dad lol -oh shIT they're totally in the cottage -heLL YEAH AYDA!! -oh GOD figayda kiss? exceptional. -if ayda dies i WILL throw dice at Brennan -ok brennan make me cry then -GET THE VAN GORGUG -gorgug truly is the greatest wizard of this age -#hugeblueguy -aww zac oyama i love you -"semi-fallen" oH dEar -gorgug texts zelda IMMEDIATELY i love him -amaZING thank you zelda -"ew, creepy, hate that" -zaphriel is the best character you guys, what a homie -i keep forgetting ayda can fly. like she has wings. i know that. -AELWYN! -nOPE someone is coming through the forest and if it's arianwen i will kill cry -HANGMAN???? -HANGMAN!!!! HIS DOG!!!!! -HANGMAN NO I LOVE YOU YOU'RE THE CUTEST DOGGY -adaine i love you baby -"the weak yogurt man" -what high ranking devil??? -fabian you're adorable -aww fabian has a puppy!! (i get that the hangman is eight feet long don't @ me) -that's the first "the ball" -lou can never have the highest roll -BARDY BOYS -oop kristen and riz time -tracker? i barely even know her -chills, brennan. chills -someone in the chat just said "so did skrank fuck zelda?" -intense muSIC -nononononononono -ragh, tracker, and sandralynn better be all right -ooo a sTICK -HELL YEAH RETURN OF THE RIBBON DANCE -"riz weeps" holy shit i love him -"something bad always happens when we go off together" -#RIZTEN -awwoOOOOOOO -ayda can fly too! -absolutely FUCK this bridge ABOUT 30 MINUTES -poor ayda -please say they're ok brennan -"put your tongue baCK in your mouth" -sANDRA LYNN NO -"what kind of arrows" "you know what kind" fuCK OFF BRENNAN -if baxter dies i will cry -wait faerie fire is a cleric spell..? absolutely fuck me -ok aelwyn let's fuck shit up -calling the bank in the middle of this nightmare forest lol -heLL YEAH ZAPHRIEL -luck check luck check luck check -"y'all are going to turn into dragons" -fabian straight up cries? what a fucking rich kid -NO WAY HE HAD T H E COIN??? -REMOVE CURSE BABY -"nnOOO!" lmao -ally and brennan are in the chat -kristen's religion is REALLY coming in handy -the name was turned into the night yorb lol -"how's that axe feeling?" "..pretty light ;)" i love him -ayda can lift the axe??? exceptional -FIG IS KALINA? ABSOLUTELY RAD -brennan has created a place where illusions are real and emily is holding him TO IT -"do you have a dongle?" incredible -EMILY I LOVE YOU! KALINA IS A YOUTUBER BABY -wretchrot is baCK baby -aelwyn i love that -"i am a low quality child" "yeah ayda you're a bad kid" -"hey bitch" emily axford is a goddess -im sorry cOURT OF ELDERS? -NO I WILL CRY -ROLL INITIATIVE TIME -go OFF hangman -ooo some high initiatives babyyy -zac oyama is my favorite ever -"trackerrr" -brian as soon as emily was threatened said "how dare you" -brennan you FUCK "i'm awake for all of this" FUCK YOU -fig and her mommy issues: an album -absolutely FUCK THE TREE GUY -kick that wood elf BITCH ABOUT ONE HOUR -fuck him UP fabian, shit in his gODDAMN mOUTh -"SPRING BREAK YOU STUPID MOTHERFUCKER" -pleASE BRENNAN LET HIM SHOOT HER WITH THE TINCTURE -spRING break this is for the corn god -okay nevermind riz is holding his action -i love the intrepid heroes they're adorable -"ice feast" fucking love them so much -yES the ball thank GOD -brennan..? -"her rage ends" tracker = barbarian -FIRST NAT 20 BABY -"IT 100% WORKS BUT IT 50% WORKED" -that's the second "the ball" -bOOOOOOO BRENNAN -mad plans for the tree guy -sorry, is his name crAFTME ROOTDRINKER? -oh ok it's aelwyn we're fine -cone of cOLD baby i love aelwyn what a babe -you absolutely hate to see it -ragh my baby i love you -SPRING BREAK -tracker nO PLEASE -TRACKER JUST CRIT OH NO -brennan is really good at acting this btw -wait 14 on a crit??? i mean oH NO kRISTEN, bOO -disPEL MAGIC BABY -ALLY BEARDSLEY YOU ABSOLUTE GOD -aww kristennn is babyyy -tracker nooo don't cryyyy -you've sAVED your GIRLFRIEND -"some of us have already done that today" fig the sHADE -ally simply musT get new dex -absolutely fuck that brennan i don't need that vampire pixie -FUCK IT UP AYDA -FIGHT ME IN THE SKY! -"does a 29 hit?" daMN zac that absolute SHADE -53 DAMAGE?? CHEJ IS SO FUCKING STRONG -"goddamn paper lantern" -absolutely fuck you brennan -nevermind gorgug and adaine both passed the con saving throw -"i don't like you" lou really gets personally upset about this and i love that -nO NO NONONONO aelwyn and tracker are down -FUCK IT UP ADAINE -gdi brennan don't do this to us -ABSOLUTELY FUCK THE TREE -fig is straight up gonna kill her mom -this is scary as fuck -HANGMAN HAS A BREATH WEAPON AND YOU DIDN'T SAY SHIT??? CHOKE ON GRAPES BRENNAN -FUCK EM UP HANGMAN ABOUT 1 HOUR AND A HALF -wood elf is DOWN baby hoot growl -kristen thinks the elf is gak lol -23 DAMAGE??? AC OF 25??? ABSOLUTELY FUCK IT UP FABIAN -SHENANIGANS TIME FOR MURPH -HELL SECRET AGENT TIME -27??? RIZ YOU'RE THE HOTTEST -third the ball -imagine the ball is secretly SO HOT without the hat -YES BRENNAN GOT A NAT 1 EAT YOUR GODDAMN DICE -sweEET -fourth the ball (they've all been Lou cuz of course) -incredible turn murph -kalina is SO GOOD at skateboarding -#bloodphoto -KALINA HAS 23 WISDOM? absolutely fuck me -oh hELL YEAH FIG COUNTER THE COUNTER -emily is doing some SHIT right now you guys (fear spell) -DAMMIT that high as fuck wisdom -sorry WHAT she rips open sPACE??? -BABY BETTER SAVE THE GODDAMN DAY -let's go BABY -"mMMHHHHnnN leET ME tOUCh ItT" baby is fucking weird -"baby vs mommy" i love you siobhan -aelwyn better not DIE brennan -riz baby let's get it -trACKEr -nAT 1??? kristen is unCONSCIOUS?? -HUMAN DETERMINATION!!! THE GRIT BABY] -wait aura of life is badass!! they can't lose damage?? -okay scrap that we're gonna TURN UNDEAD and then MASS HEALING WORD? absolutely incredible -gorgug has so much goddamn health -FUCK THIS TREE DUDE -KILL IT AYDA LET'S GO -"her girl's side" *in lou voice* okAY bRENNNAn -second nat 1 but both of them re-rolled -GEM!!!! -LET'S GET GORTHALAX BABYYYY -"BIG DADDY" -ayda is so turned on lol -KILL IT CHEJ OKAYYYY -fuck this centaur -i'm so nervous -puT THOSE DICE DOWN BRENNAN -"you're gonna drop." shuT UP -riz is fULLY DEAD???? -i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. i hate this. -sHUT UP BRENNAN -baby is DEAD oh my GOD you absolutely hate to see it ABOUT 2 HOURS -nO NO NO NO NO NO NO PUT THAT CROWN AWAY BITCH -absolutely fuck me, the nightmare king is totally fucking back i hate myself -aww fabian is baby -hELL YEAH FABIAN SPRING BREAK -"i've lost one friend, that's too many" fabian is adorable -"that's a full ass miss, my guy" -sandra lynn just crit on chej :(((((( -14 damage is not very spring break of her (she did 28 but it was halved because gorgug is such a strong boyyy) -LET'S GO LOU -almost all of them are spellcasters wtf (only one who isn't is riz but he has a daily misty step) -fuck em up hangman -fUCK EM UP HANGMAN! d8 + 2d6 +8 i think -figaroth the unfaethable baby -THOSE ARE SOME SHENANIGANS FIG I LOVE IT (she's shattering the rubies to get a revivify diamond) -casts teleport??? aelwyn came here to FUCK -"i would love to teach you this spell" aww the abernant sisters liking each other is my new aesthetic -fuck em up adaine -you can hit the tree on a 12 babyyyyy -heLL YEAH 44 DAMAGE ADAINE IS STRONG NOW -kalina is not even that cool she just said "that's enough of that" in the most uncool way -2 down 3 to go! -omg wait it would be so badass if they could just remove curse on kalina -"Mr. The Insatiable" -ayda is such a sweetheart "i don't care if you want me to date your daughter but i do hope you love me" -"I LOVE THIS SONG" yes siobhan me too -on a DC 20 she got a 31!!!! consider my jeans creamed -SHRED BABY GIRL!!! -KILLIAN IS DEAD! RIZ IS ALIVE! -ayda is so turned on AHHH -I LOVE RIZ SO MUCH "am i interrupting something???" -fuck him UP chej! 3 hits, no crits -hell yeah mr. march!! oh sorry wrong series -a gROUP PROJECT i'm DEAD -someone in the chat called him "snac oyama" and you're rigHT -siobhan's straight fucking this tree UP -the spellcasters are like all out of spells at this point -fuck OFF arianwen. KILL YOUR MOM -"where's your father, aelwyn?" "last i saw, adaine killed him so *shrug*" i lOVE HER -FUCK THEM UP GORTHALAX -abolutely fuck the nightmare king -waIT GORTHALAX IS GONNA KILL THE NIGHTMARE KING -sidenote: fig calls gorthalax pops -dO IT BRENNAN kILL YOUR OWN BIG BAD -this treeant has GOT to be dead -NAT 1 on that attack?? SPRING BREAK BABY -no we haven't seen kalina in action brennan, and we do not want to -OH SHIT THE TIE! YOu just got FUCKed bRENnan eaT youR DICE -yeS AYDA ROAST HER -"GOTTEM!" -i'm sorry i just hallucinated, did you say 6 ATTACKS? -time to go VIRAL BABY -19 intelligence, 23 wisdom, 20 charisma for kalina? absolutely fuck me -riz just got kICKed! you absolutely hate to see it -GODDAMMIT -KALINA IS HOMOPHOBIC CONFIRMED ABOUT 2 AND A HALF HOURS -brennan be like "im about to kill this bird" -absolutely fuck me i hate this -let's go FIG -time to caTCH the bALL -murph has the same thinking face as riz and it's adorable -this is not very spring break brennan -DC 25 acrobatics check? c'mon faBIAN -29????? -fifth the ball (from the hangman) -"there's just something endearing about him" fabian loving his friends is adorable -absolutely fuck me that fire elemental is adorable -absolutely swaddle the ball -well hot take but fuck the nightmare king you guys -absolutely NOT brennan do NOT kill adaine you PSYCHO BITCH -PLEASE ADAINE LIVE -STRAIGHT DEAD? FULLY DEAD? FUCK OFF WITH THIS INSTAKILL SHIT BRENNAN -hell yeah ayda is back and kristen has the revivify diamond -aelwyn FULLY banished that unicorn -it's good to know ragh really doesn't want them to die -YES RAGH IS BACK BABY -fuck em up kristen -s/o to DND Beyond btw absolutely banger website -hell yeah mass healing word is awesome -clerics are GOOD you guys i should play more clerics -FUCK IT UP AYDA -SANDRA LYNN IS BACK BABY -skater chej is my favorite thing -aBSOLUTEly fuck the tree -i have no idea wHAT is happening ABOUT 3 HOURS -fuCK YOU nightmare king -i absolutely hate this battle but at least gorthalax is still standing -gorgug better split this gd tree -"what if we just kill kalina?" yeah zac it's that goddamn easy -brennan almost just fucked everyone -"does she want to borrow my teddy bear?" the SHADE -"MAKEOVERRR" i love you siobhan -this tree SUCKS -battlemaster is cool as fUCK SPRING BREAK -BARDY BOYS also i think that was a nat 20 -i can't imagine the thistlesprings watching the battle livestream and like worrying if gorgug is going to die -FUCK HER UP THE BALL -ABSOLUTE SHENANIGANS FROM MURPH! -with ADVANTAGE BABY -"has anyone seen my hat!?" keep it off baby you're HOT now -"mirrors negate mirrors" "i think oscar wilde said that" i love them -#hotrizweek? -holy shit fig is FUCKING THIS BATTLE UP -HELL YEAH KALINA ROLLS A NATURAL 2!!!! -hell yeah adaine is back and SO MUCH is happening that i'm like forgetting to write down my reactions -kill this woody motherfucker baby -the music is too lOUD -ok it's normal now -fuck em up gorgug -i'm sorry the chat is saying he did 90 DAMAGE?!?!?!? -KILL IT CHEJ ILY -fuck off brennan, absolutely fuck off -ABSOLUTELY FUCK OFF BRENNAN -gorthalax is FULLY DEAD? absolUTELY FUCK YOU -SAINT KRISTEN APPLEBEES -adaine has SOLVED THIS SHIT -god all the abernant names are confusing -fuck you kalina ABOUT 3 AND A HALF HOURS -BRENNAN I STG IF RAGH ENDS UP DEAD -hellish rebuke that bitch -c'MON faBIAN HIT that BITCH -wait is kalina a rogue and a druid? absolutely incredible -FUCK IT UP FABIAN -OMG THE HANGMAN BETTER FUCK THIS UP -YES THE BALL 31 DAMAGE -so the stream just ended. i'll say it again: absolutely fuck me -ok so we're back and kalina got fucked up -WHAT THE FUCK A NAT 20???????? YOU ABSOLUTELY LOVE TO SEE IT -ALLY WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS -I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS AND NEITHER CAN BRENNAN -MAGIC IS REAL AND SO IS MY ALLY -i can't believe this. eat your GOD damn DICE brennan! -OMG ARE THE NIGHTMARE KING AND THE GODDESS ONE AND THE SAME? -THEY ARE! THE NIGHTMARE KING IS THE NIGHTMARE QUEEN -brennan is CRAZY AHHHHH -brennan absolutely stop this tension -28 insight. brennan is fucked -GO TOWARDS HIM KRISTEN -YES!!!! PLEASE SAY THIS IS A GOOD THING -ALLY GOT A NAT 20 THEY BETTER BE RIGHT -fear. is. not. real. -this is just like the ending of moana -NO WAY BRENNAN I LOVE YOU (you wouldn't believe it from what i have said but it's true) -this is intense i'm about to cry -you're meeting god and you say "is it too early for this?" -LMAO 5'9" -Moral of the story: IDK and that's OK -ok ally make me cRy -HELL YEAH NEW SHIRT BABY -i'm so emotional -"well oBVIouslY cASsAndRa" i wish every deity had names as normal and human as cassandra -fuck them UP cassie -i love that tracker's just like "uh... babe?" -love having god in your corner -no more hangman puppy :((( -RIZTEN are the CUTEST i love them "i love all of them, riz the most, we know this" -"we still need the crown for our grade" FABIAN I LOVE YOU -"counselo- former counsel- i'm an assistant :(" why do y'all think this man is hot -KILL ARIANWEN -"she tried to hurt me in my shattered state?" "that's her MO" aww adaine my baby -HOLY SHIT PLEASE GIVE GILEAR ALL OF ARIANWEN'S MAGIC -GORGUG YOU SWEETHEART I LOVE YOU -cassandra throwing SHADE -ThE vANdS -aelwyn throwing SHADE -AWW RAGH I LOVE YOU BABY brennan lives another day -"a big bug gave me a riddle" that is NOT what happened -aww the hirelings are all crying and i DO NOT stan -hell YEAH cassandra OH I STOPPED KEEPING TRACK OF TIME IT'S BEEN OVER 4 HOURS -hELL YES HANGVAN -i love you fabian -nO IS CHUNGLE DOWN BIM REAL? -maybe the real chungle down bim is the friends we made along the way -GARTHY i love them -arthuR aGUEFORT - absolutely wild -ayda and arthur is crazy -"snOGGING THE HEADMASTER'S DAUGHTER ARE WE?" -awww that is so smooth fig "you don't need to make me the most magnificent creature because it seems you already have" -ARTHUR PULLS THROUGH -garthy is a cutie i love how they care so much for ayda -oH FUCK ME garthy is ayda's child from her previous life -"your girlfriend's daughter fucked your mom!" goddammit siobhan i can't handle this -if they fail i will cry -CHRONOMANCY!? absolutely fuck me -"professor principal headmaster aguefort" -hell yeah arthur you're killing it -faelwyn? absolutely can't handle it -aww kristen is baby -jawbone and sandra lynn are ok? amazing -jawbone is the best character -"our parents are great" kill me why don't you siobhan -AWWW FUCKING STOP BRENNAN WITH THESE GIFTS -i just cried he wants to adopt her -"you're easy to love" jawbone is fUCKING me up -LYDIA BARKROCK what a badass i love her already -"a pheonix whom everyone she touches is reborn better" fuck off emily -gorgug is a cutie <3 <3 -ABSOLUTELY KICK SKRANKS BIRD ASS -GORGUG CONFIRMED FUCKS -riz is a dork i love him -who knew "you're so much like your father" could make me feel like that -GILEAR IS MOVING THE FUCK IN BABY -GILEAR WITH SELF CONFIDENCE IS MY AESTHETIC -aww jawbone gave ayda autism books? jawbone is the sweetest to ayda cuz OF COURSE HE IS -AYDA GETS HER SPELL!!! -Ayda's Comprehend Subtext is the cutest spell ever -adaine and fig's friendship is too cute -craig has always been down for everything. i don't know craig but i love him -YES HOOT GROWL HOOT GROWL I'M SO PROUD OF RAGH -"BAD KIDS FOR LIFE" RAGH IS A CUTIE -NO FAELWYN IS REALLY HAPPENING I CAN'T -fabian's laugh is so cute -i love how nervous fabian is -WAIT FABIAN AND AELWYN ABSOLUTELY WILL FUCK? -fabian's gonna get his KISSES IN -aww i get how hyped figayda is but they are truly so adorable -weLL EMILY AXFORD I WILL LET YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT -they said i love you :((( -tracker only deserves the best -TRACKER'S GOING TO FALLINEL? I LOVE HER -ragh is going too? gay road trip! -that's adorable -ABSOLUTELY NOT BRENNAN FUCK OFF DO NOT SAY THE NIGHT YORB IS GONNA BE THE NEXT VILLAIN -BRENNAN NO YOU BITCH I HATE YOU THE NIGHT YORB IS THE VILLAIN OF JUNIOR YEAR? -that was crazy. i cried, i laughed. i am fuCKING HYPED FOR CROWN OF CANDY AND JUNIOR YEAR GANG!

[zykaben]

a81 liveblog part 6

ITT’S RINGING MELODY TIME MELODY TIME MELODY TIME

DAN SAID HELLO TO MELODY MELODY SAY SOMETHING BACK MY GAL

W

WHAT

NO

NONONONONONONONONONONONO

FUCK YOU DAVENPORT

I’VE BEEN CUCKED BY FUCKING DAVENPORT 

I THOUGHT IT WAS MELODY TIME

I HATE HIM SO MUCH, I COULD WRITE A FUCK ESSAY

DON’T YOU DARE CALL DAN “LIL BUDDY”

FUCK YOU DAVENPORT

HELL YEAH DAN YOU TELL HIM FUCKING LEAVE

DAN’S CALLING IT A CULT, SMART BOY!!!

Dan’s lil hysterical laughter, oh my god, i love him, someone give that boy a HUG

“What am I feeling? What. Am. I. Feeling? Right now, I’m feeling that you should go fuck yourself, Mr. Davenport.”—FUCK YEAH DAN YOU SEXY LIL MAN, YOU FUCKING TELL THE BASTARD

“There’s no need for vulgarity“—SHUT THE FUCK UP DAVENPORT, YES THERE IS YOU FUCKING DECREPIT JAR OF MAYONNAISE, FUCK YOU

t,,,, tugging????? oh please say dan isn’t metaphysically bound to this hellhole i am BEGGING you please i love him

Oh, Ratty’s not coming,,,, you know what tho, Ratty will be fine

HELL YEAH HE OPENED THE DOOR AND HE’S OUT

THIS ISN’T HIS HOME SHUT UP DAVENPORT

DAVENPORT SHUT UP SHUT UP SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP

NONONONONONONONONONO GO THROUGH THE DOOR

NO DAN

DAN NO, LEAVE

L E A V E

FUCK DAVENPORT SHUT UP SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!

THIS ISN’T “BEING A NATURAL STORYTELLER”, B U L L S H I T

OH DAN DOESN’T BELIEVE IT EITHER, SMART BOY

DAN LAUGHING AT THE IDEA OF THE UNIVERSE WANTING HIM TO LISTEN TO THE TAPES????? VALID. GOD DAVENPORT SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!! I WILL BEAT YOU BLOODY WITH A RUSTY GARDEN SPADE UNTIL YOU SHUT U P

god i fucking hate this man. “Higher calling”. Fuck you

“Dan, maybe the way to look at this is not to try and probe down into why it’s difficult to leave”—FUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOUFUCKYOU

okay just. assume every time Davenport talks that i am frothing at the mouth with the absolute rage and hatred i have in my heart for this vile stain on the Earth that dares to call himself a man.

“We acknowledge that there are… certain... documents... in the archive… that can’t currently be explained by our modern understanding of science”—HnnnnnNNNNNNNG THIS IS SOME BLACK MAGIC SHIT AND I LOVE IT A LOT BUT ALSO NO POOR DAN, NO

“All we want to know is what happened to those poor people in the Visser building”—bULLSHIT but this implies something fucking happened to them, what happened to them please be okay FUCK

“We care deeply about our employees, and former employees.”—HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA bullshit

“After all, I think the lesson that we can learn from the sad case of Melody Pendras is that it’s always best to have a record, just in case the worst happens.”—nonononononONNONONONONONONONONONONONONONONONO

FUCK MELODY IS ALREADY DEAD ISN’T SHE

FUCK I KNEW IT

FUCK I LOVED HER SO MUCH THOUGH

F U C K

“Sounds really great, Mr. Davenport”—No...

no,,,,,,

Dan,,,,,,,,,,,

god, he can’t... he can’t bring himself to leave. idk why yet but I fucking know he doesn’t have a real choice in the matter. He’s so alone and frustrated and scared and I want to give him a HUG

oh. oh it’s ratty,,,,,

dan has One friend,,,,, oh ratty,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ratty and dan, i care about both of you so much

“I don’t know if I’ve got the strength to leave”—Dan  how DARE you keep breaking my heart like this

Oh, Melody. I am happy to hear her but my excitement is damped by. Literally everything else i just learned hhhhhhhh

mY DUDE JOSHUA YOU ARE WAY TOO CLOSE I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS ASMR SESSION

“You just want to know about the freaky shit, am I right?”—LMAO Joshua’s got your number Melody

“This place is weird. I know that, weird stuff is like, sexy, you know?”—Joshua I love you. I have never related to a character more than at this moment then just now when I heard him use “sexy” in the exact way I use it: to mean something Cool or Fun instead of the actual definition of sexy. This one quirk has me caring about this man

JOSHUA KNOWS ABOUT JESSE???? YOU HAV INFO ON MY BOY????

oh no he hasn’t,,,,, aw. Oh but!!! He believes Melody, good

OH NO IT GOT CUT OFF

MELODY?????

OH DAN SOLVED THE MYSTERY (MAYBE???) AND FOUND OTHER MARKED TAPES

also LOVE how he’s talking to Ratty. God I love Ratty

“I should probably stop talking to you, shouldn’t I?”—Don’t you fucking dare, Daniel

Also I paused for a sec and actually managed to connect a few dots—Dan has gone missing. He was investigating shit where... people just... went missing. Dan’s... not gonna be okay, huh. Fuck

Okay onto the tape

“He just can’t be filmed, recorded, anything.”—YO VICTOR THAT’S COOL AS SHIT MY DUDE. WOW. I mean it sucks but WOW!!!!!!! 

“School picture day was a shitshow.”—KDSAJDJHSBSADLJB MUST HAVE BEEN OH MY GOD CAN YOU IMAGINE ASDJKYGHASDHJVBASDHFBJKADS

Ratty’s squeaks for the next tape jsdkgsdkjb

“Like, not normal normal, because he’s a really good dude, he’d lend you his last forty dollars, and most normal people aren’t nice.”—How dare you make me Care about a character I haven’t even heard the voice of. Fucking RUDE

Damn, thirty feet and then it’s all static. Damn.

Oh Dan...... my boy..............

Overall impressions: FUCK DAVENPORT, I HATE DAVENPORT SO FUCKING MUCHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. MELODY IS PROBABLY DEAD AND DAN IS METAPHYSICALLY BOUND AND AHHHHHHHH I JUST WANT MY FAVES TOO BE HAPPY, WHY IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK

[my-ccandyyy-love]

Game On - Armin

Dedicated to is-euge-or-nia

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Alexy said as soon as Candy and him entered his house. “look at this!”

Candy looked around, but she didn’t see what was the problem. The kitchen was all clean with nothing out of place. It even smelled of fresh citrus. “What’s wrong with the kitchen?” She asked. “It’s clean.”

“Exactly!” Alexy sigh. “No dishes. That means Armin didn’t cook, which means he didn’t eat dinner.”

Candy looked at the time. It was 11:15pm. “Ouch.” She said.

Alexy groaned. “I just wanted to go to bed, but now I have to cook food for my lazy brother?”

She put her hand on his shoulder. “Just go to bed. I’ve got it.”

He looked like he was about to protest but he changed his mind and simply nodded in agreement. He had had a rough night. They both had. Alexy’s date hadn’t showed up and he had called Candy in emergency to take his mind off of it. Making food for his brother was the least she could do. He deserved it.

As Alexy left for his bedroom, Candy looked through the cupboards and fridge. Macaroni and Cheese? She thought, eyeing the pasta, That will have to do.

When everything was ready, she grabbed a bowl filled to the brim with food, and walked to Armin’s room. From the other side of the door, she could hear the familiar song of Super Smash Bros, as well as Armin’s voice telling Yoshi to go fuck himself.

Candy knocked on the door.

“Not now, Alex” he called back. “I’m busy.”

“It’s not Alexy.” She replied. “It’s Candy. Can i come in? I brought food.”

She waited for a reply, but none came. Instead, she heard footsteps and suddenly the door opened. Armin was standing there, with hair messy and bare chested.

Candy blushed, trying not to look. How did Armin get a six pack?

“Hey.” He said.

She looked past him and saw that the options menu was showing on the tv.

“Oh, You didn’t have to pause your game.” She said. “I was gonna just drop the food.”

“Armin shook his head. “I’m not that impolite. I mean you brought me food after all.” He looked at the bowl she was holding and grinned. “is that Mac and cheese?” When she nodded he added,” I love Mac and cheese!”

Candy smiled. “Well, that’s good.”

He grabbed the bowl from her extended hands and sat down on the bed. “You guys are here early.”

She frowned. “Armin, it’s almost midnight. We were supposed to be back at 8.”

Alexy had told his brother that he was going to hang out with Candy. He wasn’t ready to tell him about his date yet. He wanted to see how it went first...And well, good thing he hadn’t. Turns out the lies became the truth after all.

“Oh.” Armin said. “That explains why I’m so hungry. Thanks for the food.” With the last word he took a bite from the pasta. He moaned in delight. “That is so good. That’s the best mac and cheese i’ve ever had.”

She busted out laughing. “Dude...It’s macaroni with kraft singles. It’s nothing special.”

He shook his head energetically, mouth full. “No, no. This is literally the best,”

Candy rolled her eyes. “You must have been starving, then.”

He nodded, before shoveling spoonful of macaroni into his mouth, one after the other. Not even a minute later, his bowl was empty. “Is it too much to ask if there’s more?”

She smiled. “I thought you would say that.” She nudge her head towards the door. “I left one bowl on the counter and one in the fridge. Figured you would be hungry again near 2 to 3 am.”

Armin jumped up from the bed. “Are you serious?” When she nodded, he added: “Gosh, Candy, you’re the best. I love you!”

And just like that he was gone, his footsteps echoing through the house. Candy couldn’t help but blush. She knew he didn’t really mean the I love you. But, it still didn’t stop her from feeling butterflies in her stomach.

Before she could ponder even more on the meaning of those words, Armin walked back into the room. The second bowl of macaroni was in his hands. It was easy to see that he had been eating along the way back to the bedroom. Half of the Mac and cheese was gone already.

He sat on the bed and motioned for her to join him. “C’mon, let’s share.”

Candy protested. “Oh no. It’s okay. I made it for you.”

Armin gave her a pointed look. “You cannot tell me that making it didn’t make you hungry.”

“I mean...” Candy couldn’t lie. “yeah, a little bit.”

He tapped the spot next to him. “Then come over and share with me.”

She knew it was pointless to argue with Armin. That boy could be stubborn when he wanted to. So, she walked to him and sat down by his side. He took a bite of the mac and cheese, before he handed the spoon to her. She accepted it grateful that he hadn’t decided to spoon feed her. She wouldn’t put it against him. She blushed at the thought. 

They shared the food, each taking a bite before handing the ustensil to the other. Soon enough, the plate was empty. Candy had to admit that Armin was right. Maybe it hadn’t been the best thing in the world, like he had insisted, but it had been pretty good. Especially on an empty stomach. 

« hey, » Armin said, trying to grab her attention. « Since you’re here. Do you want to play Smash with me? »

Candy pondered over it. She was dying to try out the game. And playing with Armin? It ought to be pretty interesting. But.... « I can’t. » She said, with a pout.

He frowned. « Why? »

“I have to meet Alex before he falls asleep. I need to borrow a shirt to use as a Pj.”

“Oh, Alexy is already fast asleep. Believe me that guy is a log.”

Candy groaned. “Yeah, he is.”

He rolled his eyes. “Just borrow one of mine and then let’s play. Not that big of a deal.”

Candy nodded. That seemed like the best plan. “Sure. Let’s do it.”

So, Armin went through his drawers and got her a shirt. It was one of his classic: a black shirt with the Star Wars logo on it. He handed it to her, and she accepted it with a thanks.

She let Armin’s shirt rest on the bed, and raised her own over her head, when...

“Candy!” Armin exclaimed. “ Not Alexy! Not gay!”

She froze. What had she done. She quickly slipped the stars wars shirt on. And turned toward Armin embarrassed.

“I’m so sorry.” She was used to changing in front of Alexy and for a second there she forgot that she was with the other twin.

Armin grinned. “Hey, no need to apologize. I enjoyed the view.”

Candy raised an eyebrow at him. “Is that why It took you so long to tell me?”

“I mean... “ He shrugged.

She rolled her eyes. “For that, I’m gonna kick your ass. Grab a controller and let’s get to it.”

As Armin changed the game to multiplayer mod, Candy slipped her jeans off. She make sure that he was not looking this time. She would not make the same mistake twice. 

She then joined him on the couch and he handed her a controller. Without hesitation she picked Kirby, while Armin picked Link. 

They clicked on the button, and the game started. 

At first, Armin was winning with ease, but then surprising both of them Candy made a comeback. 

“No way.” Armin said. Without taking his eyes of the screen, he tried to grab Candy’s controller.

“Cheater!” She yelped, as she pulled away from his reach. But it was too late. She had lost her concentration. Her character flew off the screen. And just like that Armin won.

“You jerk!” she exclaimed. “I would have won if you hadn’t done that.”

Armin shrugged. “All’s fair in war and games.”

Candy crossed her arms and pouted. 

“Wanna play again?” he asked. “Or are you too scared to lose again?”

Candy rose up to the challenge. “Oh, I’m in. I could smash you all night.”

Armin busted out laughing and she realized how it sounded. 

“No!” She exclaimed. “I didn’t mean it like that.”

Armin smirked. “Don’t worry Candy. It’s okay. You can smash me all you want.”

She groaned. “Stop itt!”

“Am I smashing your nerves?” he asked.

Candy couldn’t handle the puns anymore. She straddled his hips and put her hand on his mouth to stop him from uttering one more word. “Are you done?”

He nodded, and she removed her hand.

“How about instead of you hand, you smash your lips against mine?” Armin asked, still smiling. 

Candy’s wiggled closer and hit his chest. “Enough!”

A sound of pleasure escaped Armin’s mouth. And both of them looked at each other in shock.

“Did you...?” Candy started.

“Hey, you’re the one who keeps rubbing herself against me.” Armin replied.

“Did I...?” She blushed not able to finish her sentence. She already knew the answer. She did gave him a boner. She could feel it. 

She had the urge to look down, and see it for herself, but she fought it. Instead, she leaped down from his lap. Armin immediately grabbed a pillow to cover up. 

“I’m sorry.” She apologized.

“Don’t worry about it.” He said absently, “It’s not the first time.” 

Candy’s eyes widened. And he seemed to notice what he just said. His cheek reddened, but he still acted casual about it. “Don’t act so shocked. You’re perfect. It shouldn’t surprise you that I have a crush on you.”

She swallowed. “Crush?” 

Armin groaned. “I just keep digging myself a deeper hole aren’t I.”

Candy shook her head, still in disbelief. “Can you repeat what you said?”

He rolled his eyes. “Yes,Candy, I’ve had sexual fantasies about you. Not that big of a deal.”

“Not that part.” Candy said. Strangely, that part could wait. “You have a crush on me?”

Armin shrugged. “I mean, yeah. Who wouldn’t? I’m pretty sure half the boys in our class have a crush on -”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence, because Candy’s lips were suddenly on his. He wrapped his hand around her cheek, hoping to deepen the kiss, when she pulled away.

Still in a daze, he turned to look at her and saw her staring at the tv, controller in hand. His character flew off the screen.

“YES!” Candy exclaimed.

“That was not fair.” Armin grunted.

She pressed a kiss to his cheek. “All’s fair in war and games.”

He raised his eyebrows. “If that’s how you wanna play it.” He grabbed his controller. “Game on.”

[starrrysapphic]

As ur not on the bus I feel the need to point out there are 2 guys (6th graders?¿?) listening to some music and things they have said contain but are not limited to: - I like his (singer) voice - *screwing with flower crown snapchat filter entire bus ride * bro u look fiirree - only refer to each other as "dude" n "bro" - like u know what we do to Hamilton music? That's what their doing I love it - OH MY FOD I THINK RHAS THE DEATHLY HALLOWS ON JIS ARM -HFLDJDOA MADE OF GLITTER I LOVE ITT

THESE SIXTH GRADERS ARE MY HEROES

[ahmeddawn]

A Moment for “The Dark Knight”: EPIC film that goes beyond comics

I would like to introduce my first guest author - Shayan Mannan.  The following article is written by Shayan - who is an ADJ reader and also my nephew. At 21, he is a musician, an entrepreneur, a soon to be professional blogger, and a Law & Society student at York University. He just released his first album, the "No Cure" EP which is available on iTunes. Check out his music at his MySpace Page I'm personally into new age music, and after listening to his album (which is electronica) my first comment was "This sounds just like a professional musician. I couldn't have guessed that this wasn't made by well-known artists such as Vangelis or Enigma."

A Moment For "The Dark Knight": EPIC Film That Goes Beyond Comics

The lines were packed to the back of the theater, and Batman shirts and joker-painted faces were out full-fledged. What an AMAZING, EPIC movie.

"So where do I begin...now a year ago these cops and lawyers...” The Dark Knight delivers on all fronts, but let’s get something straight - this isn't your typical summer blockbuster - sure, there's action, but this movie is really a character piece and it explores themes of order and anarchy. It raises questions about morals, society's duplicity, when to cross the line, what is good/evil and looks at philosophical musings.

This is the best Batman film EVER. That title easily belonged to Batman Begins, and how the hell Christopher Nolan was able to continue and make even a better one is a mystery all by itself. This movie is 10 times better; it makes Begins look like, as a friend said to me, "Some bonus feature on a DVD that would be there 'just for flavour.'" Remember, sequels almost always SUCK, so what was done here is nothing to be overlooked.

Christopher Nolan:

This film is dark to the core. Thank you Christopher Nolan. Not only has he revived Batman, he's taken it to levels I don't think any filmmaker who tackles future Batman movies can reach. It makes all the other comic-book movies look like child’s play. Nolan balanced out the screen time decadently and gave both the villains their due diligence (unlike Spidey 3, let's try to forget that one). One of the things that really make it special is the REALISM that Nolan's injected into a fictional character and his world that's made everything believable. I think Nolan and Ledger both deserve Oscars. It's really too bad films like these don't get considered for nominations because "comic-book" movies are looked at as derogatory and something you can't take seriously - which is true for most films, but not this.

I don't know how you go out and make a better Batman film. Seriously. And just like Begins, this was packed with great quotes that you'll remember.

Christian Bale:

Once again perfect, portraying Bruce Wayne/Batman's struggle as a warrior whose city crumbles to the ground after being so close to restoring order thanks to the arrival of the Joker. I agree with my friend that Bale's best times were when he's picking away at his gadgets in the basement or contemplating alone about his horrifying and depressing situation. I'm glad they included a bit more of the playboy Bruce Wayne scenes, and they were hilarious; showing up late on purpose to the party with not one or two but THREE women in his arms, making fun of Dent, and just being an arrogant jackass. I also loved that scene where he sacrificed his Lamborghini to save that dude and then was pretending he has no idea what's going on.

Heath Ledger:

You've heard about how sensational he was, and you really have to SEE it to grasp just how scarily good he was as the Joker. The smallest details, like how he puts down the champagne glass softly instead of throwing it, the slight slouch he walks with instead of standing straight, how he licks his face, his movements in general and his facial expressions add to his creepiness factor. His voice is haunting, and anytime you see him on camera it feels uneasy. The best part is though, is that he's believable because he's human: because if you didn't believe he was human he wouldn't be nearly as scary. Ledger really disappeared into this role, you can't even recognize him. And one of the people in the group I went to see it with really didn't; she had no idea it was Heath Ledger. It's tragic the man passed away, and we'll never see him reprise his role again. Oh yeah, Heath Ledger's Joker slaughters every other Joker before him, including Jack Nicholson's...he makes Jack Nicholson look like...well...a clown.

The joker as a villain - what makes him unique is that he does all the crimes, just for the FUN OF IT: "I don't have a plan. I'm just a...dog chasing a car. I-I wouldn't know what I'd do if I ever caught it!" He doesn't give a damn about money, women, sex or drugs. He just wants chaos, and that's what makes him so scary, because he fits into the type of guys that Alfred explains: "…Aren’t looking for anything logical. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn." This joker is sadistic, psychotic and just simply psychologically disturbing. And he's so smart and can read people well; he understands how people think which is quite ironic since he's a crazy sociopath.

Maggie Gyllenhaal:

I originally didn't know what to think, but was just happy that they replaced Katie Holmes (she was so awful). Alas, Gyllenhaal was SOLID and has the personality that was originally needed which Katie Holmes could just not fill.

Morgan Freeman:

never gets old. Plays the same guy in every movie? Yes. Does he ever get boring though? Love the playful conversations he has with Bale.

Michael Caine:

plays that father-figure perfectly and provides that dead-pan humor needed amid a serious scene with Bale. He's got some of the best lines when he gives his advice.

Gary Oldman:

I'll let my friend sum this up - "The man's a chameleon. He really just brings the a-game to every role he does, and it really is hard to believe he played Sid Vicious, Count Dracula, and a drug dealer all with the same dedication." Also, remember Hannibal? You know the rich old guy in a wheelchair who had the deformed face because Hannibal peeled it off and therefore he wants to exact revenge on Hannibal? That's Gary Oldman.

Aaron Eckhart:

another brilliant casting. Let's face it, when we originally heard that Heath Ledger and Aaron Eckhart were chosen to play Joker and Two Face, we didn't know what to think. That scene when he's on the hospital bed and commands Gordon to say the nickname that they used to call him started the whole transformation into Two-Face nicely. "SAY ITT!!!!" And his face was nasty, scary, and REAL as hell. Easily throws Tommy Lee Jones off the bench (but that’s not really his fault, Batman Forever was just an atrocious movie in all angles).

Random thoughts:

If I had to pick one SPECIFIC action scene as my favourite, it was when the Batpod goes by Joker's trailer truck and....FLIPS OVER that thing like it's nobody's business, and then the Batpod turns back around off the wall in a slick Transformers way. And I never would've guessed that the Batpod is literally a part of the Batmobile; when it shot out and ejected, that was ABSURD!

That blue flame in the beginning - MESMERIZING.

It was nice to see Cillian Murphy/Scarecrow in the beginning, and although it wouldn't be necessary at all, I would've enjoyed seeing Carmine Falcone as well just because I liked Tom Wilkinson so much in the first one.

The scene showing Batman's bruises on his back was awesome and important - because it reminds you he's only human, not one of those typical heroes who fight a 100 men and don't even get a scratch.

Batman Begins' main colour for all the posters, promo, etc. was beige/light-brownish/yellowish, Dark Knight's was blue.

Thank GOODNESS Hans Zimmer and James Newton Howard was back to do the score - neither of these movies would be the same without them. The music was masterful and I'm going to buy the album like I buy a lot of Hans Zimmer albums.

The ending again was left open, and it was dark. My friend summed it up perfectly: "even as the credits are about to roll, you really have to sit back for a minute and think "wait a minute, the good guys didn't win at all". And they didn't. The only one that really comes out ahead here is Joker, accomplishing his mission to show the city just how low it can really go."

For a two and half hour movie, it wasn't long enough - you heard right. It goes by so fast and you're left wanting more. The length is justified with all the complexities involved and giving all the characters a deserving screen time. There isn't a single bad moment; it's hard to criticize anything.

Make sure you see this in IMAX - this movie was specifically MADE for IMAX - they shot several important, long scenes in IMAX and it's something to experience, like those shots of Batman gliding through the sky (and of course the incredible action scenes itself).

Movie of the year. I'm not just saying that because I'm a Batman fanatic; you can't tell me there's been a better film so far, nothing comes close. Granted there's still half a year left, so we'll just have to wait to see. This wasn't just the best Batman movie, it's one of the best movies ever made period.

Don't forget Jonathan Nolan, Chris Nolan's brother who actually wrote the story with him. This is obviously a key reason why this movie rocked.

Sequel:

I want to see The Riddler. I think he'd be sly and DANGEROUS, especially the way Nolan does films. Just think of all the puzzles and mazes he could put Batman through.

I'm going to go see The Dark Knight again. And again.

- Shayan Mannan

First Published: ADawnJournal.com Published on: Jul 29, 2008

[el-vicio-us]

Gonerfest 13 (2016)

I'm in the homestretch of completing the photos from Gonerfest 14/XIV/2017, so in preparation for that, I'm going to pull last year's Gonerfest review out of the archives and post that.

I wrote about and photographed it for Razorcake last year.

I'd clean up and edit the piece before posting it, but I feel like I'd never run out of edits and corrections, so the text is presented in toto.

To read it with captioned photos and embedded samples of some of the bands listed, go to the Razorcake page. [Yeah, I linked it twice. What.]

Links to additional photos of the bands at Gonerfest 13:

Aquarian Blood

Black Lips

Blind Shake

Bloodshot Bill

Chook Race

Control Freaks

Counter Intuits

Fred and Toody

Hash Redactor

Iron Head

Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds

Midnite Snaxxx

NOTS

Oh Boland

Opposite Sex

Pity

Power

Reigning Sound

Spray Paint

Useless Eaters

Rev. John Wilkins

So here, and so there:

In 2005, a couple of friends and I skipped out on college for a week to drive from upstate New York down to Memphis for Gonerfest II.

This year, I went again.

Pulling into the hotel lot after six-or-so hours of driving from one end of Tennessee to the other, I felt flashes of recognition as my surroundings aligned and overlapped with memories lying dormant, the distant cousin to déjà vu commonly referred to as, “remembering something.”

I drove past the outdoor pool, vividly recalling it as the place my comrades tried to baptize themselves back to sanity after a night of paranoia and hallucination wrought by their decision to partake in an impromptu fungal communion shared at the Armory after-party while Kajun SS and Evil Army performed.

We had the bright idea to spend that night sleeping in the van in order to save money on hotel rooms, but in lieu of wiggling our toes in the quicksands of dreamland, these guys had to sleepwalk through their own respective psilocybin nightmares while I clung to the grass and tried to let my equilibrium catch up to the way the world was spinning.

This time around, I was here to photograph, try to lock some things up in my long term memory for later use, and my only vices would be caffeinated beverages and late-night Taco Bell.

On Thursday afternoon, I got to the Goner Records store just in time to get manacled with a weekend pass wristband and given a Gonerfest XIII bag along with a seven-inch (with “Blood on the Line” by Aquarian Blood on one side, and “Demarche Fauve” by Couteau Latex on the other). I briefly peeped into the bargain bin where I had found a copy of a friend’s band’s LP when I had last come through. Months before, I was in the Goner store at the ass end of a road trip out West.  I’d found two copies, told him as much via text while in the store, and he immediately replied with a plea that I buy them so he wouldn’t have to see them there when he came down next. I’d bought one. The other was still there.

Once outside the store and on the corner of Cooper and Young, I had enough time to switch out lenses, second guess myself, rearrange them on the camera bodies, and repeat the act once more. To an outside observer, I imagine it looked a bit like a cup-and-ball trick in which I played the part of both magician and mystified audience.

Zac Ives gave a brief and endearing introduction expressing his pride in witnessing the trajectory Nots have taken thus far.

I’m not sure if I have ever seen a band rock a gazebo before, but if I have, none could touch the near-lethal dose of vigor and vim with which Nots did so. The only thing that might come close would not be a result of this hypothetical band’s talent or performance, but the delight I would find in finding an ample excuse to use the portmanteau, ‘shoegazebo.’

Natalie Hoffman is a killer. Though I couldn’t focus 100% on the performance itself while I was arranging things inside the frame of a little rectangle through my camera, looking back through the photos from the afternoon, I’m able to see the late September evening breeze in concert with Hoffman’s movements, sweeping her hair between shots from L’Oréal advertisements to Cousin Itt screen tests.

Similarly, Charlotte Watson is damned heroic on the drums. When I first heard Nots’ first album, We Are Nots, my first impression was that I loved the drums: steady, cymbal-sparse, and heavy on the floor tom. What I hadn’t anticipated was how animated Watson was while playing live. Her head and hair disembodied into their own independent entity, in constant motion except for when she needed to provide backup vocals, at which point she’d localize her movements for long enough to aim her mouth at her microphone. She moved in physical space with the dynamism of the statistical probability of an electron cloud.

Again, seeing photographs as she was sliced out of motion, it was like capturing paranormal activity that the naked eye can’t observe. Her eyes rolled back behind their lids to reveal only pearls of sclera in the interstices of brunette tendrils mid-whip, reminiscent of demonic possession or some psychic commune with ancient worlds that only Roky Erickson could understand.

After Nots finished, Goner-goers trickled in and out of surrounding establishments for sustenance and socializing until it was time for the post-prandial events. Having driven to and parked in the lot behind Hi-Tone with an excess of time and a lack of things to do, I decided to explore the surrounding area. When I got out of the car, I heard Reigning Sound soundchecking inside with “You Got Me Hummin’.”

Walking toward the rear entrance, I saw the back of a figure with blazing white hair that seemed to blend into the two fur pelts hanging from a leather vest that hung down past the knees, much like a cape or trenchcoat with none of the nonsense (or all of it, depending on one’s perspective). I briefly wondered if I had just spied a glimpse of Ric Flair, and if a Wrestlemania was taking place nearby.

It took a second for me to realize that was the back of the night’s MC, and should any trouble rear its head this evening, Jim Dandy would be there to the rescue.

Next I saw him, the leonine Dandy and his fierce white mane were on the Hi-Tone stage, introducing the first evening band, Hash Redactor. Returning from her earlier set with Nots was Meredith Lones on bass.

As much as I was aware of Lones’ talent while watching her with Nots, I was better able to see how much she was doing when she played in Hash Redactor. Unfortunately, either the set (or just the final song) ended prematurely when the singer’s guitar, amp, pedals, or some combination thereof, suffered some communication breakdown in the signal’s path to the speaker, and they stopped.

      The second band of the night was the Australian trio, Chook Race, the first of several antipodean bands to be featured this year. It was a shift to a sweeter, slower pace, the dulcet combination of Carloyn Hawkins’ and Matthew Liveradis’ voices are reminiscent of the Vaselines (which might be a lazy comparison on my part). They were a great act to coax the audience forward into the night.

Thus far into the post-Gonerfest doldrum haze of ordinary life, they are the band I most often listen to and always among the first I recommend to friends. They have nestled deep inside the marsupial pouch of my heart.

Just as Chook Race became the band heaviest in rotation after Gonerfest, the next band was definitely the one I listened to most in the days preceding the fest.

I was looking forward to the Counter Intuits because my only exposure to them had been listening to their albums. At the time, I had pictured a snotty twenty-something with a stupid/smart sense of humor. I was pleased and surprised to see it was a fifty-something dude who, to me, resembled an alternate reality in the multiverse in which Darby Crash never got lost in heroin nor strayed from the tried and true routes of beer, weed, and burritos.

This, of course, was Ron House of Great Plains, Psandwich, and Thomas Jefferson Slave Apartments, among others. The other main Counter Intuit is Jared Phillips of Times New Viking, a band I have also enjoyed but failed to keep tabs on over the years for no other reason than I’d just forgotten to.

Upon my first listen to Counter Intuits, I went nuts for the guitar parts that seemed straight out of the old Country Teasers’ playbook. I was glad to see they played a few of my favorite tracks from Monosyllabilly including, “Dementia/Dementia,” “Sunglasses After Death,” and “Password (Is Password).”

At one point, House seemed to forget his own words, so he pulled out a pair of black frame glasses and a seemingly swamp-assed sheet of paper with lyrics scrawled out on it, which was legitimately charming.

Useless Eaters easily were the tightest, most together band to play the Hi-Tone on Thursday night. They were absolutely the most intense. Seth Sutton was economical in his movements, but like a boxer adept at conserving and distributing their weight for doling out a knockout, the guy just spewed power. Lise Sutter provided additional textures of noise, and both Sutter and Sutton would return to the stage as a duo on Saturday to open the Hi-Tone show as Couteau Latex.

As I waited in my spot by the stage, I saw someone bring out two black folding chairs with the letters T and F spray-painted in dripping red on the backrests. I began to dream up iterations of a logo that would combine the two letters into one, not unlike the ambiguous letter that indecisive grade-schoolers use when filling in a blank on a True/False quiz, hoping to invoke a sort of Schrödinger’s Cat duality where the answer exists as both sides of the coin and the grader will be hypnotized into seeing the answer that is meant to be there.

When Fred and Toody came onstage, the audience welcomed them with all the warmth, reverence, and appreciation that they deserve.

When I saw Dead Moon in 2006, Fred and Toody were joined by the late Andrew Loomis on drums. The drums were pulled to the edge of the stage to where the three of them were on an equal front, a staggered triumvirate of sound.

With only Fred and Toody onstage, their sound more resembled the production of their records. Whereas Dead Moon in a live setting was pounding and powerful, most of the recordings seemed to shift attention to the treble end of things, with the famed Kingsmen’s “Louie Louie” mono lathe playing some part in making the bass drum almost a figment of the listener’s imagination. It was an easy transition to hear the songs performed this way, in an acoustic/unplugged-type of arrangement, while still being completely electric and plugged in.

(Disclaimer: I feel the need to restrain myself for this one, or rein it in, so to speak.) Reigning Sound has been one of my favorite bands since I discovered them in 2005. Greg Cartwright is one of my favorite living songwriters, and I can’t help but nerd out when he comes up in conversation or his bands are hitting my earholes.

Through mutual friends, I have come to understand that people expressing such sentiments to his face sometimes make him uncomfortable. Because I know that, should it occur, my meeting the guy would result in unavoidably effusive and one-sided fanfare on my part, I can’t do it. Back when I used to partake in socially lubricative beverages, I would calm my nerves and grease the jaw with a little libation if I felt like I needed to express my adoration or appreciation for some artists or another. Sometimes I’d overshoot the mark. After a particularly awkward and slurred conversation with Dale Crover after a Melvins show, I learned my lesson and began to give a wide berth when any artist I loved came through.

I’ve seen Reigning Sound more often than any other band (with the possible exception of bands consisting of people I’m friends with). The first time I saw them was back in 2005 at the second Gonerfest, and by that time the lineup consisted of Lance Wille on drums and David Wayne Gay on bass. I had the chance to see them several times over the next ten years or so, including once with Mary Weiss of the Shangri-Las, which was another occasion I oozed adulation onto a performer. Mary Weiss is a gracious, kind, and patient person. (At least she was for the amount of time that I was confessing my love to her, which is all I need and more than I deserve.)   

I knew the original Reigning Sound lineup had been playing shows here and there, and I wanted to see them, but I couldn’t make it work until now. Drummer Greg Roberson employed a bit of an unorthodox technique by donning one white glove on his left hand, gripping a drumstick, then mummifying it all in a layer of duct-tape. I’d heard of people doing this when they have a break or sprain and need to play a show, but I think it was just to ensure the stick wouldn’t go flying when things got sweaty. Bassist Jeremy Scott played the role of the most animated person onstage, seeming to have to most fun playing the Reigning Sound songs of yore (though everyone was, both onstage and off, clearly enjoying themselves and seemed happy to be there).

Friday began with a daytime show at Memphis Made Brewing Company, the brewery that crafted and canned an IPA in recognition of Gonerfest.

Since my drinking days are over a half decade behind me, I don’t have any opinion to offer on the taste and quality of a beer, but even if I were still a tippler, I have never claimed to have the most refined palate in the world.

However, since my occasional Indiana Jones golden-idol/bag-of-sand switcheroo for a pint of PBR is a fistful of burrito while watching a band (both are more or less cylindrical and housed in aluminum to some degree, so it works out fine), in lieu of a beer review, I offer that of a Hot Mess burrito instead:

I chose the chicken burrito with habanero, the spiciest of available sauces, which I anticipated to be more painful than flavorful. Due to a lingering sinus infection, I treated the meal as a therapeutic remedy as well as a nutritious and delicious respite from the early evening sun. Though I assumed I was going to suffer through a painful experience for the sake of culinary-cum-medicinal exploration, capsaicin is no panacea, but it inflicted a sufficient rout-like retreat of symptoms that had been making me feel like I was turning into Rocky Dennis with quantum singularities tucked deep inside my tear ducts.

It was delicious. 10/10.

The most memorable set of the daytime show was by the Canadian band, Pity. Balaclava-clad and wearing black, they ripped into a set that seemed to pack a half hour worth of borderline powerviolence into probably fifteen or so songs that all collectively fell into around ten minutes.

I was reminded, both visually and aurally, of Henry Fiat’s Open Sore. Since I love that band and have never seen them in the flesh, this was probably the closest possible thing, as well as a band and performance that I appreciate and enjoyed as their own entity, independent of my associations with a likely defunct ensemble of masked and monikered Swedes.

Pity’s singer’s guitar suffered a double dose of immolation, first being lit on fire while still on his person before being tossed in the air. The band tore back into song, and again the guitar was lit, flung, and then it fell back to the ground. As Aristotle posited of gravity, being not completely wrong yet not completely right, things move toward their natural place. The guitar seemed to feel its proper place was on the ground. At least one fourth of Pity disagreed, possibly feeling it should be condemned to the fires of the sun, considering its intended trajectory and flaming head start.

The first band on Friday night at the Hi-Tone was Opposite Sex from New Zealand. They started with a song in which the guitarist and drummer began, while Lucy Hunter jumped up and down in front of her bass. It might have just been some pre-performance calisthenics overlapping into the show, but I imagined that she was conjuring up vibrations from her feet hitting the stage floor, then being soaked up by her bass and letting the strings ring out in an almost inaudible hum, sort of priming her instrument with resonance like a finger riding on the rim of a wine glass just before it sings.

Hunter began sing/speaking into the microphone while the drums and guitar carried on. When she picked up her bass, her playing became the pulse of the music, allowing the guitar to reel off into twangy noise. Her voice sounded both innocent and beyond her years.

The best surprise of the night, if not the entire weekend, came from the Australian band, Power. The first thing they did was clear everything superfluous from the floor and push the single microphone stand to the edge of the stage. (This might seem like an inconsequential detail, but I only noticed because some bands leave extra stands where they are, which can be a bit of a hurdle to overcome when trying to get good photos without blurry black bars running through them.)

When the band started playing, their energy filled that open space in such a way that made it feel like they had packed up and transported their entire practice space all the way to Memphis from Melbourne. (It calls to mind the haiku from didn’t-know-it-poet Garth Algar: “I mean, we’re looking/ Down on Wayne’s basement; only/ That’s not Wayne’s basement.”)

Power’s frontman looks like the sort of bully from the ‘80s movies who you secretly root for over the cloyingly innocent protagonist. While the mullet hairstyle might commonly referred to as being business in the front, party in the back, this was neither party nor business. It was 100% irony-free, no-nonsense, kick-your-dick-in-the-dirt for real.

They’re the kind of band who couldn’t give a shit less if you like them, but that won’t stop them from giving it their all when they play, because that’s the only way they know how to do it. I like to imagine they have only ever listened to AC/DC, Motorhead, and the only Metallica they’ll put up with is Kill ‘Em All. That might all have more to do with their look than their sound because as good as it was, the only thing I knew for certain is that they were awesome at being loud. Either way, if I had to ballpark the math, I’d be willing to drive between 5 and 10 hours just to see them play again, even if it was for fifteen minutes.

Buck Biloxi and the Fucks played next, which included the return of Nots’ Charlotte Watson on drums. The crowd went apeshit for them, despite Robert Watson Craig III growing mildly frustrated as roughly half the songs just collapsed and dissolved rather than meeting their intended endings. The more they fucked up, the more the crowd loved it.

The Blind Shake brought the most controlled form of chaos to the stage. The brothers Blaha were both dressed in black, bald or shorn, and both played MPLS guitars (Mike with a baritone, Jim with a regular six-string). They sang the same words, at the same time, providing a visual and aural stereo union before retreating from the mic stands to explode into their own respective forms of animation, Jim wrangling his guitar like a junebug on a string and choreographed faux-smash movements that looked potentially lethal to the instrument until he swept it back up and out of harm’s way at the last moment.

Black Lips were the last Friday act on the Hi-Tone stage, and it was their first Gonerfest since the very first one in January of 2005. Coincidentally, my old college friend, Zumi Rosow, plays saxophone for them now. I got to speak her briefly while she set up before the show, and we reminisced about the time I wrote a 10-page paper on Eraserhead for her in exchange for a few beers, or when I convinced two thirds of [what would later become] Mean Jeans to form a one-off black metal band and shoot a video of my sacrificing her with a six foot sword, and a moving death scene performance on her part as she writhed in basement dirt and A1 steak sauce for blood.

Black Lips were easily the wildest show of the weekend, as far as communal artist/audience participation weas concerned. They played a good deal off of Underneath the Rainbow, as well as some old favorites from Let It Bloom, and they played at least one new song off their forthcoming album. Between songs, Cole Alexander encouraged everyone to go to Murphy’s to see Tommy Wright III.

After their set ended, Zumi wanted to introduce me to Cole because we share a deep affection for GG Allin. After talking for a bit, Cole reiterated the importance of the once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see local legend Tommy Wright III perform. I had no idea who that was, but I was revved up on caffeine and didn’t feel like crashing yet, so I went.

Though it wasn’t part of Gonerfest proper, most of the same faces were present at Murphy’s after the Black Lips set. When I got there, Manateees were playing. Fronted by Abe White, their earlier recordings fall more under the umbrella of garage punk (I think), but when I saw them play, they seemed almost like a tight thrash metal band. They were great. I stuck around for a couple of songs by Tommy Wright III, but considering my pineal gland was still an hour in the future and operating according to Eastern Daylight Time, I finally opted to go rest up at the hotel.

Saturday’s festivities began at 1 PM at Murphy’s, alternating shows between the indoor and outdoor stages. I had been looking forward to seeing and hearing Iron Head from New Orleans, featuring King Louie on guitar. I love a lot of King Louie’s oeuvre. When I came to Gonerfest in September of 2005, his one man band rang in the weekend’s opening ceremony from the rear of the Goner store. I don’t remember what songs he played, but between numbers, he answered a cell phone call from Quintron and got the crowd to shout out a hello to him. Louie told a story about enduring Hurricane Katrina by grabbing hold of a soda machine as it floated by and boogie-boarding it through the river-flooded streets to greener pastures.

Iron Head was a spectacular mess, highlighted by solos and riffs that crashed and burned immediately upon departure, but that didn’t stop Bankston from going for each and every one with renewed faith and vigor in his fingertips each time. Between songs, Bankston and Drew Owen (on drums and vocals) debated over which one had played the previous song right. Bassist Jheri Macgillicuddy remained neutral and refrained from throwing his two cents in, but I got the impression he knew who was right and, as a matter of habit, just preferred to wait out the squall.

Oh Boland was by far the most charming bunch of the day. Their positivity was infectious, endearing, and unrivaled. It was clear they were thankful and happy to be there, a sentiment that was clearly reciprocated by the audience. The first song began and the singer, Bile Bunton (né Niall Murphy) approached the microphone bent over because the stand was raised only about three-fourths of a Danny Devito in height. I wondered for a moment if this was a sort of anti-Lemmy singing posture, but before I could entertain the thought much further, someone raised the stand height for him mid-song. It was a small thing, but it seemed a testament to their willingness to roll with whatever and embrace the situation at hand with high spirits and good humor.

Between songs, the drummer mentioned that they would need to sell their instruments before flying back to Ireland, so anyone interested should inquire further at their merch table. Murphy haggled himself down to offering his guitar to anyone who asked for it after the show.

The act I was most looking forward to on Saturday was Bloodshot Bill. I first heard him in the late-aughts and was bummed to find that he was forbidden from playing in the states at that time. I finally got to see him in Atlanta this past July, and I couldn’t wait to see him again.

Aside from being the best and most engaging one man band I have heard and/or seen, his vocal acrobatics incorporate grunts, hiccups, screeches, cry breaks, and a sort of ersatz Tuvan throat-singing that sounds at times like Charlie Feathers mud-wrestling a Tibetan monk with a menagerie of hogs, frogs, and barn owls cheering from the sidelines.

Following Bloodshot Bill was Control Freaks, featuring Friday night’s MC, Greg Lowery. The energy was high from the outset, and following a request from the festival organizers to keep on schedule by cutting the set short, the intensity maintained, though the vibe shifted from, “Let’s do this,” to, “Fuck it.”

Any restraint that might have tempered the release was then unfettered, and while the songs sounded great, the focus was more directed towards letting loose every ounce of their reserves, at least as much as possible within the confines of the time constraints.

The cocktail of excitement, anticipation, and frustration felt a bit like trying to cram as many shots into your mouth to get you sufficiently blitzkrieg drunk between the time a bar announces last call and when they forcibly remove you from the premises and lock the door behind you.

Preparing for the pinnacle of the weekend with Saturday’s final act, Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds, I found a spot at the front of the stage as it cleared up between bands. While I prepared my photo gear for what I could guess would be the best combination of lenses and cameras for the show, a young guy approached me, said hi, and showed me two album covers he brought with him, one Death Party by Gun Club, the other Psychedelic Jungle by the Cramps. One or both of them had signatures on them. Throughout the show, he either placed them venerably on the edge of the stage while he drifted into the crowd, or he clutched them affectionately to his side. His excitement rubbed off on me, and I drifted from mulling over technical details with my cameras to getting pumped to see Kid Congo Powers play two feet in front of me.

Tom Scharpling introduced Kid Congo and the Pink Monkey Birds, and the lights were dimmed to a low red glow. Powers slipped effortlessly into the role of a curandero, bridging the gap between worlds with one foot dangling off into the ether and one firmly entrenched in the muck of the corporeal. He said a few words throughout the set, each phrase a small performance in and of itself. With his eyes perpetually focused off to some nowhere up and off to his right, each word he sang and spoke seemed directed toward some apparition in the upper corner of the room. It was as though his line of sight was some conduit of communion with his muse, and bringing his immediate attention to anyone in particular would break the spell.

Sunday afternoon, Rev. John Wilkins performed in the Cooper Young Gazebo. The weather was immaculate. Occasionally Wilkins’ daughter would take the lead and belt out her amazing voice while she drifted out into the crowd and engaged with the audience. Rev. Wilkins said a few words about his father, Robert Wilkins, and ended with a rendition of “Will the Circle Be Unbroken,” a befittingly annular theme for a closing hymn, considering our return to the (more or less circular) gazebo at the end of the fest.

Before I began the trek back home to Chattanooga, I made a couple of stops around Memphis. I went in the general direction of Graceland, since whenever I pass through Memphis, I consider going but end up spending a couple of hours in the Goner store instead. Considering I’d been getting gone all weekend long, I figured it might be the only time I felt like going.

 I had intended to check out the area and assess whether I felt like going in, but before I knew it, I was paying for parking, got the up-sell on a tour I had to wait over an hour for, and then elbowing through fellow Graceland-goers while I fought for space to pretend I was William Eggleston and photograph crannies of rooms and details of decor.

Meanwhile, my tour-mates had iPads slung from their neck and bobbing on their bellies while John Stamos’ disembodied voice piped through their provided pairs of headphones, rendering their spatial awareness a notch below their own normal levels, which might not have been great to begin with.

My heart went out to the angry woman in the bottom of the main house whose sole job seemed to be to remind each cluster of visitors that they shouldn’t sit on the bright yellow barstools. A large sign also indicated that they shouldn’t sit on the bright yellow barstools. Without fail, about one out of every five people who came into the room disobeyed and sat on the bright yellow barstools. I wondered if this exercise in futility was some exercise in karmic debt for the poor woman, or if the tamest circle of hell overlapped with our realm and was located in Elvis’ basement. Only past-life serial killers deserve such a fate.

Nearing the end, there was a line to stand in front of Elvis’ grave and take a picture of it, which I skipped. The whole Graceland experience was more meaningful to me when I was a Presley-obsessed ten-year-old kid and I went with my dad.

He couldn’t have given a shit less about Elvis, but he suffered through it just because it meant something to his weird-looking kid who spritzed his hair off the Moh’s scale with hairspray into the most generous definition of a pompadour, and who demanded that the silk bomber jacket with a gold-glitter Elvis on the back was not for old ladies, but actually meant for a ten-year-old dude who would unknowingly leave an indelible golden sparkle on everything he leaned against.

My last stop before leaving town was a short visit to Jay Reatard’s gravesite. I can’t claim I ever knew the guy, but I was lucky enough to have the chance to see the Reatards, Angry Angles, Final Solutions, the Persuaders, et cetera. The last time was when I got to catch some friends opening for his solo outfit in Chattanooga in 2008. I didn’t stay in the cemetery long, as I felt strange being nothing but a tourist, but I felt like if there was ever a time where it might be an appropriate time to do it, this was it. I saw that someone had left a green guitar pick as well as a devotional candle with Jay’s face on the angel’s body.

Only two days after Gonerfest ended, I had the chance to ride out the last ripples of the weekend and see two Gonerfest XIII veterans, Nots and The World, play with locals Coma Vigil in Chattanooga. I was glad I could see Nots again, this time not through a lens and without having to creep around surreptitiously with a camera pressed against my face. They killed it, as usual. I bought one of their special editions of Cosmetic that comes with a screenprinted cover, a small compact mirror, and some additional artwork bound up in cardboard and a rubber band.

In the time since the fest ended, I have been listening to the full-album playlist of over four hundred songs that I made in preparation for Gonerfest XIII, albeit now with new context and ancillary memories to reinform the way I hear it all now. I still struggle to find content by bands that are either not well-known, they don’t have many or any recordings available, or their names make it particularly difficult to narrow searches down to their specific material (e.g., Power, The World, Pity, et cetera).

I can only hope that I don’t wait another eleven years to attend Gonerfest XIV in 2027, though I hope both I and it are still around for that one as well.

[feminizm-by-zo]

When Your B.S. Feels Like BS...

Homework is all done, tests are done, no more lectures, what do I do… Do i regret anything? Here’s your simple answer, no. I do not resent my college experience. I actively try to live with the choices I make and the paths I choose to take along the way. Overall, despite inevitable bumps in the road that is college and my young adult years 18-21, I had a wonderful time. I made lifelong friends, joined clubs, found my voice, learned about who I am and learned about things in class (because school…) There are so many amazing parts of college and there are a great number of awesome things about being all done with it but something just doesn’t feel right.

I’m having a hard time coming up with the right word to explain my experience, but in my LONG (lol just kidding) 3 months since graduation I have struggled with some things that I feel college failed to not only prepare me for, but even mention..

This isn’t organized because I did my college homework and got the degree already so I’m freeeeeee BUT, here’s some genuine (please do better than me at life) advice and just stuff for your brain:

1. GO to the career center starting from freshmen year–> brainstorm ways to make your resume not just be great but STAND OUT, complete at least TWO internships (different cities and roles is ideal), talk about your future OPTIONS (grad school, work, parent, military, etc.)

2. Do NOT let any one or group of people pressure you into a future “plan” that your heart isn’t fully committed to–> I had the most wonderful professors that I trusted and admired but they never discussed options about my future OTHER THAN graduate school and for that matter it HAD TO BE right away and it HAD TO BE a PhD program. Not until I left did I realize, uh do I want to do this? and in fact I felt inferior for considering a masters program or no program at all (COME ON, all of those options are great ones)

3. I saw this today and I loved it, “sleep more than you study, study more than you party, and party as much as you can” –> please make your silly mistakes in college because there are so many people to catch you when you fall and/or get drunk and THEN fall. Take risks now, please. I didn’t and I’m still working on how to truly LIVE, but college would have been the time

4. Go outside your damn campus –> I don’t care what city or town your school is in, literally go outside of your school (buddy system…) My school wasn’t in a great area but one of my fondest memories was volunteering with such wonderful women outside of my campus. Plus, even if your campus food is good (???? where do you go), try out some restaurants yum yum

5. Make a NEW friend –> nah girl, I’m not talking about a mutual friend that you see and hang out with through association with someone else, I’m talking go big and talk to someone in class or literally walk up to someone and say be my friend. Not everyone is as inclined or comfortable being awkward as I am but if they’re weird about it they aren’t worth your time

6. Join a club you know nothing about –> for the love of G-d go learn something new in college. I almost could have tried to thought about (lol) joined the rowing team. My excuse was that they wake up early but to hell with that because those guys were awesome and I would have had a great time learning something new!

7. Take that nap –> Okay a lot of people would disagree with me here because “you never remember the nights you went to sleep” but trust me, sometimes waking up from a mid day coma can cure the oncoming college plague going around or will make you feel a bit better about the 249745 assignments you have due tomorrow (i do NOT miss that). Do it, take care of yourself

8. Make pals with your professors –> well duh, keep the professional-ness a thing but they are such cool actual PEOPLE. they don’t spend their WHOLE lives talking at you. They have pets, and hobbies and they know a lot of really cool stuff. Find a professor you heard about being cool or one that you know specializes in some sweet stuff and make an appointment with them. I met one of my mentors by literally emailing her and saying “hi i dont know you can i talk to you” (again with the awkwardness)

9. Erase that intimidation of “higher ups” thing you have in your noggin –> I became close with the president of my school through just making myself known in small, weird ways. Emailing him to ask his opinion on something, asking him to attend club events, literally stopping him to tell him something I want to see happen on campus. Those dudes and dudets “upstairs” are there to help you so make them dooo itt.

10. Just because you are qualified for a job or praised for your skills in one city/town/place does NOT mean it will be the same elsewhere –> here comes the tough love… I am definitely feeling like a pile of poo here wandering around DC with my resume because everyone wants the same thing, everyone is qualified, and everyone FOR SOME DAMN REASON has like 24 olympic gold medals BEFORE AN ENTRY LEVEL JOB. don’t give up, that’s my point.

11. Yes your mom is right that you’re special but I’m sorry, you are not one of a kind –> More tough love because I suck… okay so I am a recent college graduate in D.C., a feminist, liberal, jewish woman, “passionate”, “hard working”, “detail oriented” HAHAHAHA so is everyone else. Please please spend time in college finding a passion or niche that makes you at least .06% different than the masses because I blend right in and… hire me.

12. I guess I knew this but I didn’t realllllly know this, THE GYM AND THE HEALTHY FOOD IS FREE IN COLLEGE do it, eat it, idk beeee it –> gym memberships are mucho expensivo from $60-$329587970 per month in the real world so maybe take advantage of that gym now while you got it. AND damn, if i could buy some pomegranate seeds for less than $4 in this city i would love it but NOPE. Healthy food is so expensive, eat it now, save me some, send it to me.

13. Get a hobby –> that sounded rude but really, I need one. As much as I try yoga I don’t like it, it doesn’t relax me. Is netflix a hobby? I have an adult coloring book, does that count? NO. Just like in college there are clubs and groups in the real world that people are involved in like book clubs and women’s groups and political shin digs, JOIN SOME! Get passionate about somethin and do it in your free time.

14. College will tell you or at least it told me that there is ONE definition of success –> get a job before graduation, graduate, live in a fancy apartment, get a trophy wife (lol no thank you) and live happily ever after on a golf course. errrrrrr wrong, I’m really struggling with this but in college they tell you that you can do anything, and that’s true but at that same token YOU CAN DO ANYTHING. You can graduate and get married, go in the military, sit on the couch for a bit, live with your parents, take care of your mental health, etc. Do NOT do NOT let your college define what success is for you. Only you can do that and it will take some time. I’m not sure yet what mine is and i’m getting impatient but I’ll get there someday.

15. Pretend to be your own mother –> tell yourself to take care of yourself. physically, mentally, spiritually. Take that nap, take the medicine your doctor prescribed, cancel something with a friend if you need to, Be healthy.

16. Find your spirituality –> Sure I know my religion, I have ideas about my life and the “something bigger” but no one really lays it out for you that in college there are clubs and events (i.e. Hillel and Hanukkah dinners) but when you leave college you either have to seek out others who will join you in the creation of a club or organization OR (more likely) you have to figure out (probably by trial and error) what pieces of your religion and your upbringing you want to keep in your own adult life and maintain. It’s important, whatever it may be, remembering there is something bigger is helpful when you’re “on your own”

17. This will depend on the person you are but remember, be wise BUT money is just paper –> health and happiness are the most important parts of your life and after college (which you and I were so lucky to have the opportunity to attend) you need to remember that money will come, but health is of the utmost importance. Of course there will be times that money is a priority cause well, girl’s gotta live and eat but remember that it is not the end all be all of your life.

18. (if you’re still in college) pick a major that you LOVE and a minor that is MARKETABLE –> thanks to my daddio for this tip and not thanks for me for not doing this but out here in the cold lonely real world (lol), most entry level jobs have administrative, communications and marketing tasks. Do ya know how to do that? Get on it. Sometimes I feel like my degree only prepared me to play a very narrow focused game of jeopardy………

19. I don’t know if this is actually true but somewhere I saw that you have the most friends and biggest (real life) social network at 25 years old, embrace it –> mhmm all your pals in college are wonderful and there are many you will keep and maintain relationships with but some, I’m sorry this is harsh, are because of convenience and proximity. Outside of college you will have to work harder to cultivate relationships and friendships by truly being there for one another. You will find your circle just reach out! 

20. Keep learning –> again I feel like i got this jeopardy game thing down but when it comes to having intellectual conversations at times I feel lost (and I hate myself for it) because I studied something pretty narrow. Read the classics, watch the news, LEAN INTO THE CONVERSATION (literally and figuratively), attend events, see plays, i don’t know just learn random important things about this world we live in and what it has to offer. There is so much out there so go get it.

21. Know your worth –> In every way possible but since you might be in the position looking for work, know your worth in regards to salary. Not only should you negotiate your salary (no matter how scary that sounds) but you should also research it in your area that you have chosen to look for work. I’m embarrassed to say that before moving to D.C. I underestimated a good salary for myself by about $15k......uncomfortable. You are worth it, fight for it.

22. You can live wherever you want! –> This is the fun part, we are so used to being “stuck” in one location for college or family but you can literally pick anywhere in the world to live and thrive as a young adult. I chose D.C. for professional opportunities but I could have picked China?? No one is stopping you so go big, the older you get, the more responsibilities will hold you back from going somewhere outrageous. Do it, I dare you.

Oy vey, well… that’s all I got for now but I’m sure I’ll learn something new tomorrow or be annoyed/feel helpless about something else I don’t feel prepared for this week but for now, be grateful for where you are and take advantage of it. You can do it (that was also me trying to convince myself)… it’s hard… keep going… and/or napping

ZG. 3/1/17/