#HELP I FINISHED REIS CHIPS ONCE Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[chiistarri]

@barred-milky-way

How living with DID/OSDD is presented in the media, sometimes even by systems themselves: Dangerous, everything is bad, constant misery.

How living with DID/OSDD actually is: WHO ATE MY PASTA?! JARED?!?!?!

(This is entirely satire and a joke for my fellow systems, not downplaying, overgeneralizing, or making fun of experience)

[levi-supreme]

For your 600 follower event, can I get English breakfast tea and a scone? I’m a huge fan of Lord of the Rings and I talk through the movies a lot, quoting and critiquing them.

Characters: Jean x fem!reader

Prompts: Jean [English breakfast] and movie date [scone]

A/N: Hello there, and thank you so much for the support!!!! I'm sorry this took so long, and I hope you'll enjoy this sweet movie date with Jean!!! 💛 I am not very familiar with LOTR, so a big BIG shout out to @m-jelly for the help on this!!! Thank you so much Jelly! <3

I also apologise for the amount of dialogues in there oops! Having a lovers' squabble with Jean was actually pretty fun to write. Also, I had to rely on youtube videos for a crash course on LOTR so I hope I managed to nail something, and I hope you'll like it too!

Rei’s 600 Follower Event: Date-A-Boyfriend (Closed)

Once a month, you and your boyfriend Jean would organise a movie marathon, and this month, is was your turn to host and choose a movie. You chose to watch The Lord of the Rings as it was your absolute favourite, and you would never miss a chance to watch the movies over and over again.

You two prepared loads of snacks as you knew how long the movies were. There were salted and caramel popcorn, nachos and cheese, pretzels, crackers and dips, veggie chips, cookies, biscuits, chocolate, and also soft drinks as well.

"Remind me how long the marathon would last again?" Jean questioned as you sat on the couch, holding a large bowl of freshly popped caramel popcorn.

"It's 11 hours and 26 minutes, Jean," you giggled, feeding him some hot popcorn. Jean raised his eyebrow.

"Really? I swear the internet told me it was shorter."

You rolled your eyes and laughed, eating some popcorn, "of course it's longer, honey. We have to go with the extended version. It's the only acceptable answer." Jean took the blanket and covered it over both your legs.

"I better not catch you dozing off halfway, then." Jean playfully pinched your cheek. "You always doze off when we get to The Two Towers."

"Nah-uh, not today, sweetie," you laughed and ate some more popcorn, "I'm gonna stay awake." Jean merely smirked and muttered 'that's what you said the last time' under his breath.

"I heard that," you scowled, playfully poking Jean on his ticklish spots making him howl with laughter, "I'll stay awake this time. I promise." Once Jean stopped laughing and you both were comfortable, you took the remote control and started the movie.

»»————-　　————-««

"You actually did stay up all the way, huh?" Jean stretched and yawned loudly when the credits started rolling. Looking at the clock in the living room, it was already close to 7am. Maybe you two could even go to the café nearby for breakfast. You finished your cup of lemonade and turned to face your boyfriend.

"I told you I was going to stay awake." You looked at Jean smugly, stretching your neck and your arms. The both of you continued watching the ending credits roll by silently. You've always had a lingering question in your head every time you watched The Lord of the Rings, and this time, you needed to get this question out of your mind.

"Jean." You broke the silence after the credits finished rolling.

"Hmm?"

"Can I ask you something?"

Jean sensed your tone of voice a little different than usual. He eyed you nervously and gulped before nodding, "... yeah?"

"What would you do... if you were in Aragorn's shoes?" You turned to Jean as he looked at you silently. "What would you have done if it were you?"

Jean was tongue-tied. He looked as though he had something to say, yet he just opened and closed his mouth like a gaping goldfish.

"I would've done the same, you know," you turned towards the TV again, "I would've done what Arwen did. I'd give up immortality for a life with the person I love most."

"And I would stop you from doing so, exactly like what Aragorn did."

"But why?" You questioned Jean again, and he remained silent. "Why would you do that?"

"Because I would want you to be happy." Jean stared hard at you. "I—j-just, well. Just imagine. You would've outlived me, for sure. What will happen to you once I'm gone? You're going to be all alone, and you're going to be miserable. You're going to die of a broken heart like Arwen, and I wouldn't want that to happen to you. I don't want you to suffer."

"I beg to differ," you took Jean's hand and held it, "I don't care about all that. Yeah, sure, I will be alone, but at least I was happy. I may be heartbroken without you, but I wouldn't have any regrets. I'd rather live a short but fulfilling life and die of a broken heart than to live a long life filled with regrets."

Jean gripped your hand tighter, staring hard at you again. "Sweetie. Listen to me. That's silly, and very risky, okay? Arwen chose to give up her immortality and look at what happened? If the ring wasn't destroyed, she would have died. All her choices and decisions would have gone to waste."

"But look at them! Arwen saw her future with Aragorn, and they even had a family together. She decided to take a gamble for her happiness and for the man she loved. If that isn't the purest and most beautiful form of love, I don't know what else is.

"Sometimes you just have to take a gamble, honey," you loosened your grip and gently cupped Jean's cheek, "I'll put my faith in the people I trust, and I believe in them too. I'll do anything in my power to be with you.

"Remember what Arwen said to Aragorn in Rivendell? She said 'I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone', and that is exactly what I want to tell you too. It doesn't matter that I'll be alone. What matters is that I get be with you, and that's already more than enough."

Jean looked at you again and sighed, laughing and shaking his head in defeat, "fine, sweetie, you win, okay? I'm yours until the end of eternity."

Smiling, you gently pat Jean's cheek, giving him a kiss. "And so am I. I'm yours until the end of eternity too."

As you stretched your limbs on the couch, Jean looked at you again and suddenly, he pulled you into his embrace and hugged you tightly. Your arms snaked up his back and hugged him in return, and the both of you remained in each other's embrace.

"I know your question was hypothetical, but don't ask me things like this again, 'kay? It's scary." Jean muttered out of a sudden, causing you to break out a laughter.

"You're ruining the moment, Jean, shhh," you giggled, nuzzling your head in the crook of his neck, "just keep quiet and hug me." The both of you continued hugging each other on the couch, until Jean's stomach rumbled loudly, making you burst out laughing again.

"Well I'm sorry to ruin the moment again, but I'm starving, and I want food. Proper food." Your giant boyfriend grumbled and shook himself free from the hug. "Let's wash up and get breakfast." Jean complained again and pushed himself off the couch, dragging you to the bathroom while you had a wide smile on your face.

Aaaaaaaaaaand that's it for the movie date with Jeanbo!! Thank you so much for sending me such a lovely request, and I hope you liked it!!

Tagging: @ack3rlady  @jean-prettyboy-kirschtein  @hannie2kay @thesimpsstuff @lilshades  @jayteacups  @nelapanela94  @postwarlevi @levisbrat25 @galactict3a @ladycheesington

If you would like to be tagged, sign up for the tag list below!

Rei’s 600 Follower Event: Date-A-Boyfriend (Closed)

Rei’s 600 Follower Event: Date-A-Boyfriend master list | Rei’s Springtime Event grand master list

Event tag list | Rei’s tag list

[dameronsgalaxygal]

I’ve Been Waiting For You - Chapter 3: Voulez Vous

series masterlist

Pairing: modern!poe x reader

Warnings: language, drinking, mentions and implications of past abusive relationship, light angst, things get steamy.

Word Count: 3176

Song Link: Voulez Vous

A/N: this took a really long time!! @rewritingstarrs and I filled the doc with notes/comments/suggestions and I still feel meh about it but hopefully it doesn’t disappoint!! don’t worry, things will be fine. don't forget to listen to the song! as always, feedback and comments are appreciated! taglist is open!

Summary: A night out in the city with your friends leads to the unexpected with Poe. 

The first few weeks in Florida had been pretty good. Your things were completely unpacked, your room decorated to your liking, and to your surprise, not one missed call from Kyle. Rey and Rose had toured you around Miami Beach, and as promised, Poe sent you the information for his aunt’s bookstore down at the shore.

You were walking down the beach with your roommates when you saw the little store across the street named ���Solo Reads”.

“Hey, I’ll catch up with you guys later. I’m gonna go look inside this bookstore” You pointed across the street.

“Sounds good, text me when you’re done.” Rey said before trailing off with Rose.

The bookstore was small and antique-style. It looked as though it had been in this location for hundreds of years, the walls slowly starting to fall apart, but it added to the aesthetic. The smell of polished wood and coffee flooded the room and you couldn’t help but smile. You loved it.

You walked around in admiration until a short older woman peeked from behind an aisle. “Hello, dear. Can I help you find anything?”

Smiling gently, you approached her. “Hi, I was actually wondering if you were hiring. Your nephew is a good friend of my cousins and he referred me to you.”

She smiled back. “Ah, yes. Y/N, is it? Just moved from New York?” You nodded.

“I’m Leia.”

“Pleased to meet you, Leia.” You stuck out your hand to shake hers and she took it, grabbing your hand with both hers, squeezing tightly.

“You as well, Y/N”, she let go of your hand before walking behind the small checkout desk. “So when can you start?”.

“Start?” You were confused. You had just met the woman and you hadn’t even been interviewed yet.

“You know, start working. I need someone to care for the books more than I can. These babies, they’re old. I’d like to make sure they live as long as possible. Some customers aren’t so gentle in handling them. You were an English major, right? I know you’d appreciate all of these as much as I do.” She brushed dust off of a couple books that were stacked on the counter.

You completely understood. You had collected old novels and magazines since you were a child. Your favorite book being Pride and Prejudice. The idea of someone disrespecting a piece of work that an author put so much dedication into made you sad. You looked around the store before turning to face Leia.

“Absolutely. I will make sure that this place and these books are in great shape all the time”. It was true. You loved and adored all forms of literature, so you would work so hard to keep the place organized.

She smiled. “I know we just met, and that I didn’t give you a proper interview, but my nephew has great judgement in people. He told me you were a sweetheart, and I could tell that he was right the moment you introduced yourself. I know you’ll be good here”.

You blushed slightly. Poe called me a sweetheart?

Suddenly a girl, around the same age as you, burst through the door quickly taking off her jacket. “Sorry I’m late, Leia. I got distracted on the bus by this family who had never been to Miami before and their kid was amazed by the beach, so I missed my stop. But it was the cutest thing! You had to be there.” She made her way behind the desk and put her jacket down.

“Yeah, yeah. Tallie, this is Y/N. She’ll be working here soon.”

“Oh thank goodness. It gets lonely around here.” She chuckled.

“Hopefully I’ll be able to provide some sort of company” You smiled before your phone vibrated in your back pocket. You pulled it out to check the message. It was from Poe.

I’m down at the shore right now if you wanted to meet me and I can introduce you to my Aunt Leia!

You smiled before responding quickly:

I’m actually with her now! I got the job:)

You looked back up at Leia and Tallie who were talking and continuing to dust off the old books. “I can start working tomorrow, if that’s alright.”

Leia nodded. “Wonderful! We can discuss a proper work schedule later, but how does 11am work for you?”

“That’s perfect” Your smile widened. “Thank you so much, Leia. Nice to meet you Tallie!”

The two women said their goodbyes as you left the store with the same feeling you had after leaving Finn’s party a few weeks ago. So far, everything seemed to be going well, and you hoped that this was the start to the kind of life you had always wanted.  

You pulled out your phone to call Rey, but just as you were about to dial her number, Poe called you.

“Hello?”

“Hey! Congrats on the job. I mean, I knew she’d hire you, but still!” You could hear the smile in his voice.

“Thank you. For both congratulating me and for putting in a good word.” You, once again, were blushing.

“Of course. Thought I’d help you get a kick start here in the city. You got plans right now?” He asked.

You bit your lip nervously before responding. “Not really.”

Suddenly his voice through the phone sounded closer. “Good. Then can I treat you to lunch?” You jumped to turn around and see him laughing, his phone still pressed to his ear. A sense of deja vu ran over you as you remembered this was the same way Poe approached you at Finn’s party.

You hung up the phone and scoffed playfully. “You need to stop doing that.”

“I’ve only done it twice,” He laughed, putting his phone in his pocket.

You chuckled lightly before looking around. “So where are we going?”

“There’s a nice deli a couple blocks down. You up for sandwiches?”

Your mouth nearly watered at the thought. You hadn’t eaten since early this morning and it was only a couple slices of toast. “That sounds fantastic.”

The afternoon you spent with Poe was familiar. Just how you two talked for hours on his couch at Finns party, you two spent hours in the Deli talking about almost everything under the sun. He told you about his childhood growing up in South Miami, and he also revealed that his mother had passed away due to cancer when he was 18. You appreciated him sharing something so personal with you, and you wish you could do the same and talk to him about your past. But you had met him not too long ago. If you could hardly tell Rey who you have known your entire life, there was no way you could open up to your new friend right away. You had to admit though, every moment you spent time with Poe felt natural. It felt easy.

Over the next few weeks, your friendship with Poe skyrocketed. You had been working at the bookstore, and sometimes Poe would stop by to see Leia. Leia had mentioned that he had never visited this often, which made your heart flutter. You brushed it off though. You were enjoying your friendship with Poe and have someone brand new in your life. A blank slate.

You were sitting on the couch watching a movie with Rey and Rose when your phone buzzed. You smiled when you saw it was a text from Poe.

Hey! Just landed back to Miami and was thinking about going to the club with Finn tonight. We were wondering if you and the girls wanted to join.

“Poe wants to know if we want to go out tonight with him and Finn,” You asked your roommates, who didn’t take their faces off the TV.

“Yeah, I’m down. What time?” Rey asked and Rose nodded in agreement.

Yeah that sounds fun! What time were you thinking?

How bout 8? We can pick you up!

Sounds good. See ya then, Dameron.

Can’t wait :)

Smiling, you put your phone down. “Eight. They’ll pick us up” You reached for a chip from the bowl on the coffee table before returning to watching the movie.

Rose checked her phone. “That’s two and a half hours from now! I need to go get ready.” She stood up and headed to the bathroom to shower.

You laughed. You had gotten used to Rose spending at least an hour in the bathroom making sure she looked, as she liked to call it, “photogenic enough”.

Just as you were about to continue watching the film, Rey pressed pause and looked at you.

You cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“What’s going on with you and Poe?” She asked with a smirk.

“What are you talking about? He’s my friend.” You chuckled before munching on another chip.

“Oh come on. When he’s not working, you’re with him. You smile every time he texts you. Him and Finn used to come over a lot, but since you’ve moved in, Poe has started coming over without Finn. Even Finn has noticed. He talks to me about it at work. Are you two-”

“No! No, Rey, it’s not like that.” You said sharply. You sighed when she didn’t reply at first, taken aback by your tone. “Look, I like Poe. He’s the first friend I’ve made after moving here. We get along really well and I enjoy being around him. Nothing’s happening between us. Okay?” You were saying this to Rey, but really you were trying to remind yourself of these things. You did like Poe. You were starting to like him in the way you had thought you liked Kyle, and it scared you. From what you had witnessed from the weeks you had spent being around him, you knew Poe wasn’t anything like your ex, but feeling something towards him meant feeling vulnerable. Were you ready for that?

“Besides, I don’t want to jump into anything right now. Not after everything with Kyle. I’m..” You paused to take a breath, your memories rushing back. “I’m still trying to get over that”.

She nodded, knowing that you hated bringing him up. “I’m sorry”.

“It’s okay” You reassured her. “Let’s finish the movie.”

The movie ended about half an hour later, giving you and Rey still enough time to get ready for your night out. You had been to a few bars with Rey since you had gotten to Florida, but not a club, and not with Poe.

You checked the temperature on the weather app, seeing it was going to be 80 degrees and humid. You changed into a pair of shorts and a crop top with a pair of white converse and gold earrings. You curled your hair and put on some light makeup. Your first time at a club, might as well look cute, right? Or were you subconsciously trying to impress Poe?

A few minutes after you had finished getting ready, there was a knock on the front door. “Coming!” You said as you headed towards the door, opening it.

Poe and Finn stood before you, smiling. “You look nice.” Poe smirked.

Your cheeks heated up once again, a familiar feeling around him. “Thanks”.

Finn rolled his eyes before chuckling softly. “You girls ready?”

Both Rey and Rose emerged from their rooms, “Yep!”

You all headed to the car after locking your apartment. You asked if it would be better to uber, but Rey wasn’t a big drinker and was always the designated driver. You trusted her to call an uber to take you all back home if she wasn’t feeling sober.

The club was huge. It was crowded and hot, bright and colorful LED lights that flashed through the entire room. The music was so loud that you could hardly hear your friends talking to you. But after a few drinks in, there was really no talking necessary.

You, Rey and Rose were on the dance floor allowing yourself to let loose. This was the first time you had actually felt a sense of joy. Yes, you were slightly intoxicated, but you had your friends, good music, a job that you enjoyed, and you were in Miami. You had seemed to forget about your past, and it felt so good.

Poe and Finn were getting more drinks at the bar, Poe unable to take his eyes off of you.

“You like her?” Finn yelled over the music for Poe to hear.

Keeping his eyes on you, Poe replied, “Fuck, man. I think so.” He laughed softly.

“Then go get her!” He nudged him, in which Poe smirked before heading to the dance floor.

You smiled as he approached you, reaching your arms out to grab him and pulling him to you. If you were sober, there was a likely chance you wouldn’t have allowed him to be as close as he was right now. But again, your past had seemed to leave you in the moment, and it was Poe.  

You danced together, jumping and spinning each other around until his chest was pressed against your back, hands on your hips. One of your hands was placed on his, the other snaked up to reach around his neck and run through his hair.

You could feel his hot breath on your neck as you grinded your hips against his. There was no denying that the man was getting very, very excited. Your breathing started to pick up, what with the humidity in the club and the alcohol in your system, not to mention the fact that your ass was pressed against the crotch of the guy you were starting to develop a crush for.

You felt Poes lips press against your neck and you gasped at the feeling. They were soft and warm and they provided a sense of comfort even in such an intimate setting. He continued to trace kisses up your neck until he spun you around to face him. You looked up at him to see dark eyes. You bit your lip before wrapping your arms around his neck, tugging on his dark curls as he pulled you closer. Lips nearly brushing over each other, you two continued to dance against one another.

At that moment, nothing else seemed to exist. Your foreheads pressed together, both of you smiling nervously, he leaned in to kiss you. Hesitant at first, you kissed him back. You swore you could hear fireworks going off in the background as you pulled away, music still pounding through your ears. You looked up at Poe as he jerked his head toward the door and whispered in your ear loud enough for you to hear, “Do you want to get out of here?”

With hardly any hesitation, you nodded. “Yes.” You had been drinking, but you were consciously able to respond verbally and process what he was really asking you. Everything you had mentioned to Rey earlier completely left your mind. You wanted Poe.

Poe smirked before grabbing your hand and pulling you out of the crowd. You looked around nervously to see Rey, Rose and Finn glancing at you and Poe as they continued to dance. Rey shot you a look and you nodded, letting her know that it was okay, and she winked at you.

Surprisingly unlocked, Poe opened the back door to his car and pulled you in, immediately latching his lips to yours as you shut it behind you. The kiss was rough and hot, but his lips fit perfectly against yours and you moaned slightly into the kiss as his tongue traced your bottom lip. His hands trailed from your waist up to your stomach and you pulled away for a breath.

Poes hands reached up to cup your cheeks, holding your face close. He leaned up and kissed the corner of your lips. Instantly, it all came back to you.

You were lying on the bed as Kyle hovered over you. Tears in your eyes, you stared at the wall. He leaned down to kiss the corner of your lips.

You had completely sobered up as the memories of Kyle came flooding back. Kyle used to kiss the corner of your mouth. The small gesture had brought back so many terrible memories and you decided that you couldn’t keep going, not tonight. You let out a breath, “Stop, Poe.”

Still in the heat of the moment, Poe responded without thinking. “No, no, no, hey baby, it’s okay.” his voice was calm as he brushed hair out of your face before leaning up to kiss you again.

“No, Poe. Stop!” Your voice was louder than you had intended. He pulled back immediately. “I’m sorry,” you avoided making eye contact, getting off of his lap and sitting in the seat next to him. “I want this. I really do….but I’m just not ready.” You looked down, hands fidgeting. “Uh, I think I’m going to go. Thank you for tonight, Poe….I’ll call you.”

You quickly got out of the car, walking through the parking lot as you opened your phone to call an uber.

“Y/N, wait! I’m sorry!” Poe called after you, but you kept walking. Poe leaned back against the headrest and closed his eyes. He let out a sigh, completely sobering up. “Fuck.”

You texted Rey as your Uber approached.

Got an uber home. Don’t worry, I’m fine. Just tired. I’ll see you when you get home.

It wasn’t a long ride back, but each second felt like hours. You started to wonder if you had just ruined what you had with Poe. If you did, it would mean losing the spark that you felt with him, losing a good friend, and that was the last thing you wanted. You weren’t angry at Poe. He had no idea. You were angry at yourself.

After what seemed like forever, you were home. You thanked and tipped your driver, walking into your apartment. Feeling exhausted, you went to bed right away, or at least tried to. It was difficult to sleep with so many thoughts running through your head. Memories of Kyle, walking away from Poe. Dancing with Poe. Kissing Poe.  

You are pulled from your thoughts when your phone that was resting on your bedside table buzzed.

Hey Y/N. I’m really sorry about earlier. I never intended to make you uncomfortable. I hope this doesn’t affect anything. Let me know if you want to talk. I’ll have my phone next to me all night. If not, no worries and I hope you sleep well.  -Poe

It gave you some relief knowing that Poe wasn’t freaked out by your outburst and that he wanted to talk. You wanted to reply to him, let him know everything would be okay, but you needed to allow yourself to calm down. The night may not have ended the way you intended it to, but there was still a huge chunk of you that still needed to be healed. Poe didn’t deserve to be treated like a rebound. You liked him a lot. You wanted to do this right, but you needed to be ready.

You let out a deep breath before putting your phone back down on the table, closing your eyes before you drifted off.

taglist <open> @twomoonstwosuns​ @rewritingstarrs​ @darksideofclarke​ @writingforhoursonend​ @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol​ @lanatheawesome​ @fanfiction-trashpile​ @fantasticcopeaglepasta​ @softly-sad​ @aidela​ @yeeintensifies​ @the-cry-of-youth​

[be-the-spark-flyboy]

Bad At Love

Call It What You Want (3/?)

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Med student!Poe x reader

A/N: finallyyyyy Im gonna slowburn the shit outta this (gif not mine btw and I’m terrible at summaries)

Chapter summary: you spend your free weekend the trio. Mondays are the absolute worst.

Warning: swearing, a terrible relationship, one bad pun(that I do not regret)

Word count: ~1.6k

—-

“Yeah but don’t over mix it,” You instruct Finn as he siftes flour into the mixing bowl, mixing it in with the eggs and sugar.

Rey and Poe sit at the dining table, watching the two of you bake. After melting a spatula by accident, Finn had banned Rey from the kitchen for the rest of the day. Poe wasn’t allowed in from the beginning, much to his chagrin, but Finn had insisted, saying that it was the best decision, if he still wanted to have a kitchen by the end of the day.

So it was left with you and Finn. The plan was to make cookies and popcorn and watch holiday movies the whole weekend.

Usually, you would spend your weekends alone, or with Jessika, binge watching netflix shows or working. Jessika calls you boring for that, but if you went out to parties like she did, you’d probably be hiding away from everyone else anyways. So this was a much better option for you.

Rey had insisted that you spend the day with her at Finn’s place. Somehow that had turned into a sleepover and here you are in her pajamas making cookies in the kitchen. You really enjoy spending time with the three of them and you’re really glad Rey cared about you enough to practically drag your antisocial ass into their plans.

“Are you done yet?” Rey whines loudly from her seat.

“We haven’t even put it in the oven!” Finn exclaims, exasperated.

“We could just eat the cookie dough,” Poe chips in much to Reys delight but both Finn and you simultaneously shoot down the suggestion.

“Poe, you’re a med student, you should know better!” Finn adds on as Poe slumps in his seat, pouting. The truth was, you and Finn had already eaten a tiny bit of cookie dough, just to taste test. You know the children will insist on having some too, if they found out you did. “Go pick a movie to put on, at least,”

Rey perks up again, sprinting out of her seat, “Oh we’re watching Home Alone!” Poe sprints after her, yelling, “What no! We’ve watched it a million times already!”

Literal children.

The cookies turn out pretty good in the end. Finn makes Rey and Poe set up the rest of the things, just to keep them away from the kitchen.

Before you know it, you are watching Home Alone, snuggled up in a comfortable blanket with Rey. A huge warm bowl of carmel, butter popcorn sits on your lap. Peaceful and comfortable. Until Rey swipes the whole bowl from you, “I love you, but leave some for the rest of us,”

You try to snatch It back, almost practically wailing, “I made cookies for you, you evil woman,” you hear snickering from the other couch and whip your head around, screeching, “Don’t laugh at me!”

Poe completely loses it and Finn casually pushes him off when he falls in top of him laughing, while you continue glaring at them. Rey makes use of the distraction and shoves a handful of popcorn in her mouth. “We made those cookies, give me some credit too!” Finn exclaims, offended by your statement.

“Okay fine, our cookies,” you concede.

“Hey I helped too!” Rey exclaimes.

“Oh yes, the secret ingredient. One melted spatula,” you snark her.

“Oh burn! Pun intended,” Poe chimes in.

Unsurprisingly, this is how the entire evening goes. The four of you spend it bickering playfully instead of watching the movie, but you weren’t complaining.

—-

Poe Dameron hated being alone, more than anything. Once, he was a kid, who had parents who loved him and a place he called home. Then suddenly he was moving to live with his godmother in an entirely different state, in a big house that just never felt like home. But at least he had Finn and Rey.

Then he’d gone to college and Finn and Rey had gotten together. They weren’t big on PDA or anything. They never did anything to make Poe feel uncomfortable or left out. But Poe couldn’t help but feel like an intruder sometimes. Somedays he’d catch them in the couch together, cuddling, watching a movie at night. And he’d just slink along the dark and shut himself in his room without uttering a single word to them. Intruder.

In a way, he had always been jealous of them. It had always been Finn and Rey, even before he became part of their duo. He just wanted to have a bond like theirs with someone. Someone who would be willing to put him before anybody else. He wanted to be the first person someone would run to if they have a problem or the first person someone would call when they have a piece of happy news to share. He wanted to be someone’s first choice, to belong with someone.

But somehow, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t even come close to finding something like that. He’d had his fair share of bad relationships, in his rush to find that someone. He had so much to give, no one to give to.

“Hello?” Carefully manicured fingers snap infront of his face. Poe startles slightly. Great, he zoned out again. “You’re not even listening to me,” Sarah leans back into her chair, displeasure etched on her face.

“No no, I’m listening. Just tired,” he takes a swig of his coffee.

Whatever he has with Sarah, he knew it wouldn’t last. They don’t work together and he was aware of it. But at this point, having something felt better than nothing. He knew she didn’t love him. If she did, Poe would’ve given anything to make it work.

Yes, he was aware of how desperate he sounded.

“Yeah, whatever,” she dismisses him with a wave. “You wanna go back to my place for the night?” A sultry smile spreads in her face, fingers lacing with his, on top of the table. Sarah was a good girlfriend sometimes. She’d buy him coffee, ask him how his day was, be nice to him. But that was only if she wanted something in return.

Poe sighs heavily, “I can’t tonight. Sorry babe,” babe. It sounds so fake to his own ears. There was once when the endearment felt sweet on his tongue, and he wanted to say it, every chance he got. Now, it feels like a lie. Like he’s fooling himself.

Warm fingers withdraw from his, and the smile slips right off her face. “Alright then,” her words are clipped, nothing like the tone used on a lover. Sarah collects her belongings from the table, her cup of coffee lays half-empty beside his. “Have fun, studying,” She snaps, rising from her seat abruptly, and marching out of the coffee shop. Poe doesn’t try to stop her.

He hasn’t been over to her place in weeks. He wasn’t actually busy tonight, he just didn’t want to go. He hadn’t wanted to for some time. Maybe he was finally sick of his own girlfriend treating him like, as Finn liked to call it, a booty call. Blowing up his phone when she felt like it, then leaving him high and dry for as long as she wanted after that. Finn just doesn’t understand why Poe would let himself be treated like that. To be honest, Poe doesn’t as well.

—-

Mondays suck. You particularly hate this monday, after the sleepover you had at Finn’s over the weekend. The four of you had passed out on the couch that night, crashing from sugar high after eating way too many cookies and popcorn for just four people. Although Finn still insists it was just the right. You had so much fun nonetheless.

Your professor’s droning had already put half the people in the lecture hall to sleep. You try your best to stay awake, although you know you are fighting a losing battle. The guy beside you had long since given up, it seems. His head is resting on the table and he is fast asleep.

You had managed to spend an entire semester not uttering a single word to the guy who had been sitting next to you for literally every single lecture. That was how bad you were at making friends. Maybe you had smiled at the tall, dark haired dude, once, at the beginning of the semester, but that was it.

Maybe part of the reason he chose to sit beside you was because he was just as quite as you. He mostly kept to himself. Occasionally you’d see him talk to one or two people here and there, but that was it. You weren’t complaining, really. You were perfectly content with finishing the whole semester without uttering a single word to him. But it seemed your professor had a different plan.

Your professor slams his palm on the front desk to get everyone’s attention. A few figures jump at the sudden noise and a few others groan, but everyone was awake.

“I know the topic is a little dry but come on, guys,” he says. “I’m making an announcement about the final assessment, at least pay attention to that,” Your professor was pretty cool. He was willing to go above and beyond for anyone who asked for help although the lectures literally bored everyone to hell. You fish out your notebook from your bag, ready to jot down whatever he was going to say. “The final assessment, will be done in pairs,” In pairs? Why had god abandoned you? Who were you going to ask? You didn’t know anyone in the class. You take it back, your professor was not cool.

Thankfully before you could start going partner hunting, the guy beside you turns to face you and he asks, “Hey, would you mind pairing up with me for this assignment?” You don’t hesitate before agreeing, relieved by the turn of events.

He flashes you a smile, “I’m Ben Solo,”

—-

The Dameron taglist (open): @writefightandflightclub @arkofblake @yougottakeeponkeepinon @multifandomlife22 @skymerons @smol-peter-parker @rae-rae-patcha @demigod-dragonrider-schoolidol @spider-starry @hkmultifandom @cloud-leader @elmoakepoke @staringmoony @valhallavalkyrie9 @the-cry-of-youth

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 04

Warning: swearing, stalking

Beetlejuice loved what the girls did to the place. They've been there for more than two weeks now and were almost fully done. They worked and packed out and cleaned all day and night to make the house feel like home and actually, they succeeded.

The house was big, and the girls made it seem even bigger. On the lower level there was a hall, a living/dining room, a kitchen, a bathroom and a winter garden, and on the upper level, there were 3 bedrooms with a bathroom. The original small windows in the kitchen and in the living room got replaced with huge ones, and the same happened to the upper bedrooms' windows. Sofía said the more light will come inside, the more it will remind them of the house they left in Europe.

The living room had pretty white hardwood floors, burgundy red ceiling, a black fireplace and a chandelier - both were there since the house was built -, a Victorian-looking burgundy couch with 2 armchairs, a white coffin-shaped coffee table, the fluffiest and biggest black carpet, a huge tv with a sound system, behind the sofa white dining room furniture, and wall-to-wall white bookshelves that the girls filled with books and little relics and souvenirs and things that they liked. Beetlejuice didn't understand why would they need so many books, like, who would read about "Women's place in Ancient Egypt" in their spare time?!? But he liked the other stuff. And he really liked the stories the girls told each other about those little things while they were packing them out of the boxes. For example the one Rei told when she found the fake caramel apple she chipped her tooth with years ago. It was Halloween when her mom bought it for a pun against Ari's mom. It looked so lifelike but it was made of resin and, well, the toothmark was still there. He loved to hear Ari's uncontrollable laugh and clapping like a degenerated seal, especially that one time when Sofía told the story of a framed Broadway ticket she used when she was taking pictures of his celebrity crush, a taxi came by, splashed her with mud and her toes got so slippery inside her high-heels that she fell over, into her crush's arms, and she literally tore his trousers down while falling. The way Rei almost choked to death on red wine when Ari told the girls how she ran from the police in Egypt because she stole a mini Bastet statue from the Museum Shop, but actually they were chasing her because she forgot her passport at the museum almost gave BJ a new best friend, but well, that was his luck. He had fun anyways.

Even though they didn't see him, he was content and happy. His hair turned back to green and fluffy fully, and it only went back to purple once in the past week. The sisters made him feel like he was not alone, like he could join the conversation anytime. He even commented on some things, which made some... Weird impacts. When he made a very humorous comment, for example when Ari was putting a bumblebee made of glass on the shelf and he said "you know bees always have sticky hair, since they use honey combs", she just burst out laughing. He didn't really get it. She couldn't really hear him... Could she? I mean she was not dead. He could not touch anything, nor any of them (believe me, he tried to slap all three's asses), so he was still in that weird alternate reality.

Even tough he really couldn't believe that she heard him, he mostly followed Ari everywhere. Many times he just watched, but he couldn't help himself when she went out to the winter garden and she sang for the plants while taking care of them. That made his gooey little heart so full. He could listen to her singing for hours. He was just floating around her and when she finished a song, many times he said something like:

- Uuuuuh, now sing something from Nirvana pleeeease I really like them and I haven't heard them in YEARS!

She never answered and basically never sang what he wanted. But she smiled when he was all gushy over her voice so he had no idea what to think. One time he thought he even heard her say "thanks" but he was not sure.

Now Beetlejuice was sitting next to Sofía on the couch, throwing some self-summoned popcorn into his mouth and chewed loudly.

- Are you ready? - asked Ari with a wide smile and a very excited voice as she carried a huge box into the living room.

- Last box and we're finally all packed out!!! - proclaimed Sofi while getting up from the sofa. Rei reached into the box and got out a human skull.

- Let's get ya all fixed up, Long John Silver. - they all got a bodypart out and after some time, a skeleton of a half-legged pirate was standing in the corner with a skeleton parrot on his shoulder.

- Awwww look at him he even has a little birdie! How sweet, can I get a skeletal friend too? Maybe I could call him Jacques. And he would be French. Honhon monsieur my name is Jacques and I have a mustache hahaha... - Beetlejuice laughed at himself and slapped his knee. He stood up and went closer to observe the skeleton. - Oh how much fun I'll have with you once I'll be able to possess you...

Sofi shuddered.

- Gosh, it's so cold in here all the time...

- The fuck did you think babes, you WANTED to buy a haunted house, and now you are surprised it's cold??? - proclaimed Beetlejuice. - I thought you guys were smart and shit.

- Yeah, you're right man , we were basically asking for it. - said Ari with a small laugh. Beetlejuice literally jumped up with a small scream. The girls stayed silent.

- What did you just say Ari? - asked Sofía with a tilted head. Ari laughed nervously and stroke her hair.

- Eheheee... Nothing...

- YOU CAN HEAR ME!!! - Beetlejuice clapped his hands like a little child and was screaming in joy. Slight streaks of pink started to appear in is hair. - I KNEW YOU COULD, YOU LITTLE LIAR!!! - Ari rolled her eyes and then looked at her sisters.

- Look, I must have heard it wrong, I'm really tired... I'll just go and take a nap, kay? - her sisters looked at her, both weirded out.

- Ari, are you okay?

- YES TOTALLY FINE BYYEEEE!!! - Ari slowly backed out of the living room, smiling innocently, then as soon as she got out of sight, she sprinted up the stairs.

As soon as she got into her room, she slapped the door shut. She nearly couldn't breathe. She locked her door and she threw herself on her bed. Beetlejuice floated above her, smiled so hard his face would hurt if it could, and tried to boop Ari's nose.

- Babes, if you were a fruit, you'd be a FINEapple. - Ari jumped up and screamed.

- YOU ARE JUST PART OF MY CONSCIENCE, YOU ARE NOTHING ELSE! - she said angrily into thin air. BJ lifted one of his eyebrows.

- Babes, I can't be your conscience. I haven’t even used mine until now.

- There is no other explanation! I know what I said down in the living room but it's not possible!

- THERE IS, YOU... - Beetlejuice bit his fist. This girl might be his way out into the human world. Plus, he liked her. And her ass. - Sorry for the screaming. It's just that... - he lowered his voice and whispered into her ear. - ...you make Daddy so angry. - Ari faceplamed herself. - You can call me that by the way. Or demon straight from Hell. Ghost-zombie Jesus. Sexy. - Beetlejuice was checking out Ari and tried to pinch her ass. - Is your last name Campbell? Because you’re mmm... mmm... good...

Ari turned around, where the voice came from.

- What are you then?!? You can't be a...

- Demon. Yes, I am.

[kar3npage]

Sewing Scissors and Throwing Knives

Chapter 3 is now up! Thank you so much to everyone who has been reading along! I will be posting a new chapter every Monday:)

If you want to read along from the beginning, you can check it out on ao3 here

Recap from last chapter:  Neil calls Kevin and accepts his offer, Neil meets (most of) the team, Kevin and Nicky decide that Neil needs a new wardrobe.

His fingers are itching for a cigarette. It’s not an addiction, since Neil doesn’t actually smoke the things, but he’s craving a tether. A comforting scent, something to ground him. It’s only an hour into his second day at the atelier and he’s already thoroughly tired of Kevin and the constant noise that permeates the floor. It’s getting annoying having to bite back the snarky comments and make everyone think he’s a pushover. But being a pushover will keep him alive, so he’ll make do. Matt and Nicky greeted Neil with the same level of enthusiasm as they had the day before, and he got a few friendly nods as the building started to fill. Fortunately being tied to Kevin made most people keep their distance. Unfortunately, being tied to Kevin meant that Andrew popped up constantly. Neil can feel his eyes tracking him even when he’s pretty sure that he isn’t even in the same area as them. “No, I need it by Thursday at the latest. I was promised it by Wednesday!” Kevin is saying into the phone in that particularly bossy voice of his. “No, you don’t understand. You’ve heard of Alli Rey, correct? Yes, everyone has. If we can’t get that shipment in by Thursday, we will no longer be working with your company.” Kevin continues in that vein, threatening to pull out of whatever deal they have. As far as Neil understands, the shipment is holding a fabric that they ‘desperately’ need for the showstopper in the quickly approaching show. Neil is a far ways away from his times running. He’s made little things out of the strangest material, purely out of necessity. He barely waits for Kevin to put down the phone before speaking to make sure that he can get a word in before Kevin starts. “Why don’t you just get a different fabric for it?” Kevin has that expression on that says that he can’t believe that he’s even wasting a second of his day for Neil. “It would never get here in time, even if we did somehow manage to find something as perfect as this.” “Okay, then use something you already have.” Neil thinks to the entire wall of bolts of fabric in every colour that sits in the cutting room. Kevins face is slowly going red. “You--no, fuck’s sake. Neil, no.” “Why not?” “Because this is the showstopper. This is going to be ending the show. You cannot leave the customers on a blah note, it has to be perfect. And the only way that’s going to happen is if it’s made out of a silk/rayon velvet that’s been hand dyed with a unique method in Amsterdam.” “Maybe your showstopper isn’t as good as you think it is if it’s going to fail just because you used a different nice fabric.” “He has a point,” a dry voice startles Neil and he whips around to face the door. Andrew stands there, wearing a very similar all black outfit to what he wore yesterday. Neil considers complaining that he has to change his look when Andrew wears the same thing every day. He keeps his mouth shut for once. Kevin splutters something from his spot behind the desk, face going a mottled purple. “Get out,” Andrew says to Neil. He hesitates, glancing at Kevin to argue. When he doesn’t, Neil makes sure to leave Andrew space as he walks past him. He closes the door behind him and pauses in the hallway to listen. The bond between Andrew and Kevin has already been mentioned countless times in the office, and Neil has read many articles about it in various gossip magazines. No matter what is written or said, no one can explain exactly why Andrew lets Kevin tag along. Neil can just barely hear Andrew through the door. “The Moriyama’s aren’t going to care which fabric the last dress is made out of as long as it makes them money. And Riko fuck-face can’t do anything without his uncles approval. Relax.” A muffled groan can be heard down the hallway. Neil leans in a bit closer to hear Kevin’s answer. His words are frantic and fast, too fast for Neil to be able to catch on. Andrew’s answer is a repeat of his earlier words. He doesn’t stay outside for much longer after that. Of course Neil had been keeping an eye on the Moriyamas to ensure that he would be able to avoid them, but he was under the impression that Kevin had split from Riko after the accident. Neil Josten was well and truly fucked.

He still had nightmares about the few weeks that he was stuck in the Nest, nightmares of the oppressive atmosphere, the pain and humiliation, the complete and utter exhaustion. It had taken him almost a month to stop losing time after the 16 hour days. He was still claustrophobic from the experience.

To make it even worse, he knows that his father works for the Moriyama's. He bitterly wonders whether he’ll even live to see the show that he is currently helping them prepare for. The smart thing would be to leave and get a new identity. Maybe check out Italy, he’d been learning Italian in his spare time while he was working as a janitor. Of course, just because that's the smart thing doesn’t mean it’s the route that he wants to choose.

The problem is the last time that Neil had felt so strongly about his surroundings was when he was in the fashion program in school. The working hum of industrials, the quiet bustle of seamstresses and cutters going about their work, the satisfying sound of sharp scissors cutting through silk. The atmosphere at Alli Rey was intoxicating and calming all at once. Neil had walked through the cutting room earlier and spent almost 20 minutes just looking at the shelves of bolts of fabric that fills one wall. He had almost filled his sketchbook last night with new ideas. He hadn’t felt this inspired by anything for years, and now that he had spent a few days as a part of the magic he wasn’t sure that he could tear himself away so soon. If he could just make it until the next fashion show, the one that Kevin wanted him to help design, then he could die in peace. That way he could have made a mark, albeit a small one. That way he could get rid of a few of his regrets in life.

Three days later and Neil is as in love with the volatile environment as he was when he decided that he would be willing to die for it. The craziness with the customer is apparently over, so Neil was finally able to meet Dan. She is a no-nonsense, hard working woman with a tight control over her team. She had Neil’s respect the minute he saw her wrangle Seth into some semblance of control, and he had no trouble saying that he trusted her completely to get everything finished. Seth is another employee that he has, unfortunately, gotten to know since the customer issues have been dealt with. He had immediately written Neil off, and he seemed to have a chip on his shoulder for any designer as long as it wasn’t Allison. Neil had met Allison a few times so far, and each time she had a different reaction to Seth being there. Their strange relationship didn’t make anyone else nearly as uncomfortable as it did Neil. “I think it’s time that you start working late like everyone else does,” Kevin announces as Neil walks into the office that he’s been ‘shadowing’ Kevin in so far. “I do work late with everyone else,” Neil says. Annoyance crosses Kevin’s face. “No, you leave with Andrew and Nicky everyday.” “So do you.” “I leave for dinner with them, but I come back after.” Neil has known that Kevin was obsessive about his work right from the get go, but he had no idea to what extent. He knows for a fact that Matt and Dan leave around the time that he does, since they keep inviting him out for drinks, and they have important roles in the company as well. Neil tries to muster up some irritation with Kevin about the demand, but all he feels is some excitement about spending more time in the studios. So far he’s just gone home to sketch, obsessively check the locks in his hotel room, and eventually fall into a restless sleep. Coming back in to help with the quickly coming up Resort show is infinitely better than anything else that Neil could be doing in his evenings. “Alright,” he tells Kevin. Kevin gives him one quick nod of approval. “Andrew will pick you up tonight at 9. Eat before then.”

As promised, Andrew’s fancy vehicle is waiting outside the hotel for Neil at exactly 9 o’clock. Kevin is waiting in the passenger seat, and neither of the men are currently speaking to one another. Kevin immediately launches into a brainstorming session with Neil when he climbs in the backseat, and as much as he is interested in what Kevin has to say, his eyes keep wandering to look at Andrew in the drivers seat. So far what he’s seen of Andrew makes him think that he’s apathetic about the whole thing. He’s always the calm in the storm when he walks through the atelier during the day (although that isn’t often. Mostly he’s holed up in the office that Neil so far hasn’t been in with a woman with rainbow dyed hair whom he hasn’t met), and whenever Kevin tries to talk with him about upcoming collections he answers with a bored glare. Neil’s fascinated with this person who obviously has incredible talent, yet doesn’t care about it. He wasn’t sure what to expect of their late night work, but it’s pretty similar to the work that they’ve been doing during the day so far. The only difference is that Kevin isn’t able to phone any of their suppliers, so he has more of the razor focus that Neil remembers from his Exy days. They’re in the beautiful, streamlined office staring at the wall behind Kevin's desk. Andrew lies on the couch near the window with a book, one that Neil hasn’t heard of before. The pages are dog eared and worn, yet the avid way Andrew focuses on the book makes it look like he’s never read it before. The wall has been transforming quickly while Neil has been here. For the most part he’s been keeping his opinions to himself (which has been more difficult than he thought it would be) since his real job will start with the next collection, but he hasn’t been able to help himself with a few of the looks. They’re planning the show, playing around with the order that the ensembles come out on the runway and which garments will be put together. Most of the wall has been taken over by the photos of each look on possible models (that will need to be decided as well, eventually). Each look has a number on it, though the numbers keep getting scratched out and changed. The only one that hasn’t changed is the showstopper, which will be going last. “I just still don’t understand what makes that one the showstopper,” Neil tells Kevin before he can control himself. He stiffens and waits for Kevin to have a conniption, or maybe a panic attack. Neil had thought that Andrew wasn’t paying attention to them, but a small huff tells him that he has. Kevin surprises all of them by looking thoughtful. It takes him a while to respond and he inspects the wall in the meantime. “I’m not really sure, actually. I had just decided in the beginning that it would be and it never occurred to me that it might not.” “Okay.” Neil says, but he’s been forgotten. A familiar frenzied look is in Kevin's eye now that Neil planted the idea, and he’s scrambling around the wall moving photos around. The rest of the evening is spent in near silence, and Neil finds that he enjoys his time with Kevin and Andrew more than he ever thought he would. He admires Kevin, and has for a long time. Seeing him working first hand isn’t always that impressive, but when he gets into this centered head space Neil can see why he’s gotten so far in the industry so quickly. Andrew is a different story. Where Kevin is an easy book to read, Neil just can’t grasp anything about Andrew. Everything he does surprises Neil. It’s unsettling.

So far Neil has managed to avoid Nicky and Kevin’s plans for getting him new clothes. By the end of the week he had quietly hoped that they had forgotten about it in the chaos of show prep. Neil Josten has never been that lucky. Nicky jumps him during lunch on Friday with far too much joy for such a task. “You’re going to love Abby, she’s great. We always go to the Garment District store just for her for the new recruits.” “We’re going to an Alli Rey store?” Neil has no idea what to expect from his day, but there’s a tight ball of dread in his stomach that’s threatening to swallow him. He counts to ten in French, and then German in the hopes that the anxiety will lessen. “Yep! Everyone tries to wear as much from the brand as possible for marketing. It was my idea,” Nicky preens as he pushes Neil out of the building. It’s just the two of them for once, something that hasn’t happened since he arrived. Neil makes a vague noise of approval. They get into Andrews car, which Neil can’t imagine the conversation that got the approval for Nicky to drive. Nicky talks nonstop the entire time they’re in the vehicle, which Neil is strangely grateful for. The empty chatter is enough to quell some of the nausea that popped up when he realized that he would need to get measured today, which also meant that it was pretty likely that he would have to take off his shirt. Unfortunately, he has already tried everything that he could think of to get out of this when Kevin first brought it up and he has no ideas left. All he knows is that Nicky absolutely can not be in the room while he gets his measurements done.

[randomaliha]

A, C, N, X

Thanks! :) 

A - ships that I currently like a lot.

I always have a bunch of ships I’m invested in to some degree (most sort of casual or in the background) but my main one right now is stucky so prepare yourself for a ramble, my friend. I’m a sucker for ships that span a long time frame because you get so much richness and development. So, Steve and Bucky meet as kids in 1930s Depression-era New York. They grow up together but get separated for the first time when Bucky gets drafted for the war. It’s a whole time period that’s really evocative, with heaps of scope for stories about discovering each other and ~feelings and trying to work jobs and live together and Bucky trying to find Steve a date but no one wants to date Steve but p.s. Bucky’s pretty much taking him on dates all the time soooo yeah. Then we get this second act where Steve has been transformed and Bucky has been captured and experimented on, so they’ve both changed – except for the way they feel about each other. They spend the rest of the war fighting together until Bucky is presumed killed (Steve couldn’t save him! Steve will never fail him like that again! Is what Steve says to himself every night I’m guessing!) and right after that Steve sacrifices himself and puts his plane into the ice. Ultimately, of course, the war was bigger than both of them. And that should have been the end of it, an amazing but tragic journey for those two kids from Brooklyn. But we get another act, another page, in which they find each other again and Steve breaks through Bucky’s 65 years of brainwashing pretty much by existing. Two bits I absolutely love in this third act: the first time they cross paths again since 1945 is in TWS, when Bucky/the soldier comes to kill Fury at Steve’s apartment. At that moment, ‘Its been a long, long time’ by Kitty Kallen plays on Steve’s record player, a romantic af song from 1945 about lovers reuniting after the end of the war. Never thought that you would be/Standing here so close to me… You’ll never know how many dreams I've dreamed about you/Or just how empty they all seemed without you/So kiss me once then kiss me twice, then kiss me once again/It’s been a long, long time. Wow what a totally platonic bros reunion song. And second, when they’re fighting aboard the carrier and Bucky’s struggling with his programming, Steve says “finish it. Cos I’m with you, to the end of the line” which…. you know, he’s telling Bucky/the soldier to kill him because Steve won’t kill Bucky. Will not. Full stop. He’s with Bucky even if Bucky’s not really there anymore, even if being there for Bucky means dying. And the thing about it is, that’s a promise they made to each other. To be there til the end of the line. We see Bucky say it to Steve in a flashback, it’s how Bucky has always felt about Steve, a promise he’s made to Steve as much as to himself, to be there for Steve always, and on that carrier Steve is returning that love and that unwavering loyalty. And that promise is what finally gets through to Bucky and breaks decades of brainwashing. I MEAN. This devotion to each other is absolutely core to their characters. Those birds are in love. (If Infinity War kills one of them or separates them again I will be mad as hell, dishonour on all marvel’s (cash) cows.)

C - a ship I have never liked and probably never will

I feel like all my NOPE ships are in Star Wars. Rey/Kylo is the biggest nope in the galaxy and I hated their scenes in tlj. Actually, Kylo really reminds me of Anakin in the prequels, but worse. Kylo is that kid who got a chip on his shoulder when he was a teenager and has never moved past it, and now he’s a selfish tool who causes suffering and kills people because he got his feelings hurt and it makes him so angry but he’s just misunderstood and deep down he’s a nice guy if people would just do what he wants. In a high school AU this would be the character that would need to be on some kind of fbi watch list, and I hate that Star Wars writers can’t come up with a better characterisation when they’re trying to write a complex character who turns to the dark side. Things don’t go right for angry young white man; he kills everyone? That’s basically it? Some fans might point to the influence of Palpatine and Snoke as playing a role but there are plenty of characters in the SW universe who got dealt a shitty hand in life and got tempted by the dark side and didn’t go over. Basically Anakin wasn’t good enough for Padme or Obi-Wan (nooope nope nope) and Kylo isn’t anywhere near good enough for Rey or indeed anyone in the galaxy. 

N - 3 things you wish you saw more of in your fandom(s)

1. I just found a bunch of meta posts for Bucky/stucky that included timelines and costume research and meta and it was amazing and super exciting. So I guess more of that in all my fandoms but yeah, I love world-building, I love being able to fit a character into a setting and a world, and get more context on who they are, so discussion of that stuff is great and I find it really helps and inspires me as a fic writer.

2. drabbles on my dash. Can we bring back 100 word drabbles as a thing we post on tumblr? I tend to only read longer fics on ao3 but 100 word drabbles are perfect little mouthfuls for your dash, like a gifset. Also they are a damn art form and I love them.

3. Rare pairs maybe? (says every rare pair fan ever) 

X - a trope you are certain to love in any fandom

Misunderstandings that lead to mutual pining and loads of shivery tension and a big beautiful reveal. I WILL ALWAYS READ SUCH PERFECT GOODNESS.

Tagging anyone on my dash who wants to do this or send me an ask?

[sugardaddycentral]

Connor Murphy x Reader Born To Die Part 1

Summary: After his guidance counselor takes notice of Connor's abnormal behavior, he is sent to a support group against his will, where he meets a girl just as fucked up as he is. 

 Song Inspiration: Born To Die / Lana Del Rey

 Warnings: | language | drug use | mentions of suicide | mentions of self-harm | first person writing | mental illness | teenage angst | 

 Word Count: 2k

"Now, let's begin!" the perky counselor started as she took her seat in the circle. "As you may know, I'm Nadine, your counselor." I rolled my eyes for probably the tenth time today. The circle was a lot smaller than it was last week, even smaller than usual. Normally only 5 or 6 kids actually come to these bullshit sessions. We're lucky enough to have parents who give a shit about our mental health, but were too broke to afford a psychiatrist or any real professional. 

 "Let's go around and tell each other our names and...a fun fact about ourselves and why we're here." Nadine started the session while she adjusted her abnormally large glasses.

I exhaled loudly through my nose. This was the same lame ass shit we did last week, and everybody already knew each other. I eventually tuned out after the first person introduced themselves. I reached for my phone in my back pocket and hid it in between my legs, looking up every so often so I wouldn't get caught.

 It was the same mundane routine every day for me. Wake up, go to school, come to support group, and then go home. There was no fucking excitement other than when I get high. Those were the highlights of my day. It was going fine until my mom and dad found my stash and flushed it down the toilet and threw me in into this fucking support group. They thought that my weed was my problem. They don't know shit. 

 A voice cleared their throat. I frantically looked up from my phone, believing that it was Nadine. Instead, a tall, long haired, emo looking kid stood by the door frame. I slid my phone back into my pocket.

"You must be the new addition," Nadine said, looking down at her clipboard. "Come, take a seat! We were just starting." I examined this kid from head to toe. He had to be in my grade, almost graduating. His tangled hair rested easy on his shoulders. The bags under his eyes stood out the most on his face, besides his chiseled features. His lack of any other color besides black was aesthetically pleasing to the eye; even down to the chipped nail polish. He also happened to smell of weed, strong weed. He took a seat in the chair across from mine. 

"(Y/N)? It's your turn," Nadine whispered obnoxiously loud. I let out another sigh and I stood to my feet.

"Okay uhm, I'm (Y/N) (Y/L/N)," I started. 

"Hi (Y/N)," the others answered very monotone, most likely not giving as much of a shit as I did.

"I'm here because I'm fucking depressed. Uh... and one fun fact about me is that I like to read." I slumped back in my seat. Nadine nervously chuckled before she proceeded to scribble something down on her clipboard. The circle of usual greetings continued until we reached the new kid. 

He stood up. Although he was still slouching, he was tall as fuck. 

"I'm Connor Murphy. I'm here because my fucking guidance counselor threw me in here." He introduced himself without skipping a beat. 

"Hello Connor," Nadine grinned widely. "How about you tell us about your erm ...your condition?" 

He scoffed. "Look, I'm just here to watch." A couple of the members, including me, stifled our laughter. Some didn't even bother to hold it in. He glared up at us all. His burning stare sent unsettling chills up my spine. 

The second support group was over, I slung my backpack over my shoulder and fucking booked it. I swerved past anybody who got in my way. But thanks to my lack of coordination, I lost my footing on the curb and fell on the concrete, hard.

 I also didn't happen to see the speeding car that was coming my way. The person behind the wheel honked.

"Out of the fucking street!" they yelled. I looked up to see that Connor kid shouting from out of the window of his ragged car that could easily fall apart with one touch. 

"Yeah, hit me why don't you asshole?" I shouted back, giving him the middle finger, although I low-key wanted him to run me over. "End my fucking misery," I muttered as I gave the hood of his car a rough slap with the palm of my hand. Connor sped away as soon as I walked past the car. He gave a final honk. 

 I felt a burning sensation travel to my jawline and chin area. I flinched at my own touch as I went to feel the damage done. A few drops of blood stained my fingers. I fished my hand into my bag for any type of napkin. I pulled out a used paper towel and pressed it up against the scrape.

"Hi sweetie!" Mom greeted the second I walked through the door. Her effervescent mood earned another eye roll out of me. 

Xanax was always recognizable. 

I dropped my bag off at the entrance and slipped off my shoes. Mom stood by the counter prepping dinner. "Hi," I mumbled. My eyes darted over to Dad, who was too busy scribbling some shit down for his clients. He didn't even bother to make eye contact. 

Mom clearly took notice. She placed her hand on my cheek and gave me a quick peck. She briefly caught ahold of my chin and inspected my scrape. "He's just a little busy, sweetheart," she said in a low voice. "Honey?" she called for him. "(Y/N)'s home from support group." 

Without looking up from his book, he acknowledged that I was in the room. "Hi (Y/N). How was support group?" 

I scoffed at his disinterest. "Like you fucking care," I answered before storming up to my room. I instantly flopped onto my bed and was greeted by my warm comforter. I let out a deep sigh. I tried remembering some of the bullshit techniques that Nadine introduced me to my first day. 

 Inhale...2...3...

 Exhale....4...5...

 But I couldn't even find solace in that. There was only one thing that would help me. I decided to wait until my parents went to bed to sneak out. I carefully unlocked my window, grabbed my keys, and went out through there since all of the doors made too much noise. I made a delicate landing onto the grass below. I started the car and drove off.

I drove off into the night with only one destination in mind. Only a few miles south from my house was a small park. Considering that it was close to midnight, there was a great chance that nobody would be there. I parked my car under one of the tall willow trees. I then reached into the glove compartment where I had a few pre-rolled joints and a lighter. I hopped up onto the hood of my car and took a drag. 

 It was nights like these that I lived for. Better yet, one of the only reasons I lived for. Whenever I felt like I was suffocating or like I couldn't breathe, I'd just walk or drive over to this park and drown myself in the serenity of it all. My weed was pretty much all I had left, besides my one friend. My parents luckily didn't find my small stash that I kept in my car. 

"You can't fucking do that!" I screamed as I watched the green bits swirl down the toilet bowl. 

"Yes we can (Y/N). This isn't healthy! You have a problem!" Dad shouted back. Mom stood by the doorway with her arms crossed. My heart felt like it was barbarically ripped apart. 

 I frantically ran my fingers through my hair. "What, and Mom's Xanax addiction is healthy!?" Mom's eyes misted up, Dad shot me a look of disappointment. It was nothing new.

I let out a puff of air. After the first few times, my lungs didn't burn anymore. A few leaves rustled in the distance. The sound was distinctly, like footsteps. I didn't bother to reach for my pocket knife. If I was going to die, let it happen while I've got drugs in me and I can die calm. The footsteps approached until a tall figure stood a couple of feet away from me.

"(Y/N), right?" a voice asked. My head perked up. I took another drag. 

"Yeah, who's asking?" They stepped out of the shadow. The street lamp gave off just enough light for me to see their face. "You're Connor, right?" He nodded. I had about half of the joint left. I handed it over to him. 

With all of the weed in my system, my nerves and whatever depressive residue slowly faded; for the time at least. I felt pretty fucking generous for once. 

"Thanks," he muttered. He took a puff. I could practically see the stress melt off of his shoulders. He passed it back. He unconsciously rubbed his chin when he glanced over at me. "Uh, your chin..." 

"Yeah, I noticed. Thanks for that, again," I said with clear distaste. He said nothing. There was nothing but silence, other than the occasional night creature and our coughs. The passing of the joint continued. One puff after the other.

I decided to break the silence. "So, you were dragged into support group too, huh?" Connor let out a couple of quiet coughs after he took a puff. We were nearing the filter. 

"Uh, yeah. Some teacher I have thought that it would help me," he replied. I glanced over at him curiously. His hair framed his face perfectly; curls draped down to his shoulders. The light from the lamppost allowed me to fully be captivated by his features. 

"My parents threw me into that support group because they think that I'm some fucking drug addict." I began to mindlessly rant to him like I had known him for years. "They think I'm some pill popping junkie. That's not me. That's my fucking mom. I don't get why they lecture me on me 'doing drugs' when my mom basically can't function without popping a Xanie once a day. They don't even fucking know that their only daughter is depressed out of her own mind. They don't know that I just want to fucking die!" Painful tears formed until my eyes were glossed. I let them fall one by one. 

The silence was back. Connor was almost too stunned to speak. Words were caught in his throat after I unintentionally poured my heart out to him. I wiped the tears from my eyes with the sleeve of my sweater. "Sorry, fuck," I mumbled. I finished off the joint and flicked it onto the ground before crushing it with the sole of my shoe. 

"Don't worry about it," he replied, a secretive and sincere half smile faintly tugged at the corner of his lips. I then peered over my phone to check the time. 

"Uh, I should get going. But uh, thanks for listening to me dump my problems onto you," I said. I opened the car door. Connor stepped away from the hood. 

"No problem. And uh, thanks for the joint."

The day after was the same routine, as usual. Wake up, go to school, and then fucking support group. At least I sort of had something to look forward to rather than just sit at home. 

I definitely wouldn't call Connor Murphy a friend. I still to this day think he's an asshole for almost running me over. The night before, he was a pair of ears that willingly listened to my ramblings. He probably listened to me more that night than my parents ever did in my entire life. But there was something about him that I admired about him that I couldn't put my finger on. 

I shuffled into the room. The shitty fluorescent lighting flickered to an imaginary rhythm. The seat I usually sat in was kept empty for me. I stood by the doorway examining the scene. The usual group of 5 kids had been reduced to 4, excluding Connor and I. In retrospect, it was bound to happen more often than you'd think. It usually didn't take long until someone lost it or finally found better help. 

"Hey," I heard Connor's familiar voice greet from behind. The obvious smell of pot lingered from him.

I let out a small chuckle. "You're fucking high," I said. I turned around to face him. His sapphire blue eyes were painfully bloodshot and hooded. He leaned against the doorway. 

"Maybe a little." He flashed a smirk that made my cheeks heat up. Fuck, he's devilishly charismatic even when he's high. "But I can manage." 

"I'll have whatever you're having," I muttered sarcastically under my breath. I then glanced over at the support group. Nadine hadn't arrived yet, and barely anybody showed up. An idea popped into my head. I reached for Connor's hand and grasped it tight. "Let's get out of here. They won't miss us." Without objection, he followed behind until we reached my car. 

Connor was slumped in the passenger seat the majority of the ride. His eyes would often focus on what was going on outside. Our rebuttal as to what to eat was never ending. 

"Literally fucking anything," was all he said. I grew impatient of myself trying to figure out what I wanted. The closest thing that open was a Shake Shack. I pulled into the parking lot and tried to help Connor out of his seat, but all he did was swat my hand away and told me to "fuck off." 

"Be grateful I'm getting you food," I fired back. Both Connor and I ordered burgers. Even without the munchies I felt almost as hungry as he was. I watched as he ate every last bite like it was his last. As he went to take a sip of his soda, strands of his hair fell over his eyes. I tried my hardest not to stare. I couldn't say the same for him though. 

"What?" I asked. Connor shrugged his shoulders. 

"Nothing's it's just... thanks," he said quietly. "Thanks for...this." He struggled to find the right words to explain what he had. It wasn't exactly a friendship just yet, but it sure as hell felt better than being alone. A pale hue of pink threatened to color his cheeks.

[shipcestuous]

Altered Carbon

I have finally finished Altered Carbon. The last time I discussed it I was only on episode 5. The brother/sister relationship between Takeshi and Rei is an entirely different one by the end of the season, wow. 

I have a lot of asks about it (in addition to the ones I already answered).  I apologize for making you guys wait!

Massive spoilers! And for anyone who hasn’t seen Altered Carbon, I’ll just say that the brother/sister relationship is definitely...suggestive, particularly from the sister’s side of things.

Anon #1:

Hi, did you watch "Altered Carbon"? There is a very special Brother-Sister-Realtionship in it..

@asweetdeception:

Idk if you've finished Altered Carbon or not but WOW the Rei/Tak relationship is very interesting to say the least and honestly the more you get into the later episodes the more the subtext gets stronger to the point that for me personally it felt more than subtext. It's a hell of a ride. 

Anon #2:

Have you finished watching Altered Carbon? Cause if you think it was shippy between Takeshi and Rei in the flashbacks well...[spoilers!!] she comes back to him and it gets really intense! In the end you'll see how obsessive her love for her brother is, what she would do for him and how far she went to eliminate any other person close to him! My mum caught the last episode with me and thought the whole time they were lovers! (It didn't help that Rei went into Ortega's body and 'flirted' with Tak)

Anon #3:

Has the Netflix series Altered Carbon come up yet? Both the show and the sibling relationship it centers around aren't my cup of tea--the former too graphic and the latter too twisted--but I thought it deserved mention nevertheless. 

The basic conceit of the show is that at some undetermined point in the future humans learned to transfer consciousness seamlessly from one body to another. Those wealthy enough to afford a constant stream of new bodies are immortal, and everyone else is dust beneath their divine feet. (What follows involves spoilers, so do be warned.) The main character, Tak, and his little sister, Rei, grew up in an abusive home; their father killed their mother, and when it looked like he was going to do the same to Rei, Tak killed him, shooting at the base of the skull to prevent any attempt to retrieve his consciousness. He was offered a pardon if he would join the military, but he refused until they promised to find a good home for Rei. 

Years later, he happened to be on a mission to seize a cartel stronghold, and discovered that the recruiter had lied to him. Rei had not gone to a good home, but had been sold in slavery to the cartel. He immediately turned his gun on his squad and she on her fellow criminals, allowing them both to slip off into the night together. There they ran into a resistance organisation; she didn't want to join, wishing that it could just be the two of them, as it had once been, but he convinced her. Then he fell  in love with the resistance leader, something she found unforgivable. She responded by betraying the resistance and ensuring that only she and he would be able to escape. In fact, no one escaped. She was resurrected and paid off handsomely for turning the others in but lost track of him in the process. 

Two hundred years later, Tak finds himself resurrected in an unfamiliar body to perform a very particular task for one of the immortals. She turns out to be the villain of the series,  having become one of the immortals. She spent almost two centuries trying to find out what happened to his archived consciousness, and then engineered an intricate web of plots and gambits to convince another, more powerful immortal to use his influence to get Tak resurrected. She eventually reveals herself to him and tries to get him to trust her, but he quickly pieces together the discrepancies in her story and his memory of the rebellion's fall to realize that she had  betrayed them. 

As you might expect, he does not react calmly, accusing her of having been corrupted by her longevity and become everything they fought against. She points out that he was the one that had wanted to join the rebellion; she just stuck it out because she couldn't leave him. She insists that all the morally questionable and outright despicable things she has done have been to ensure that, when she finally managed to bring him back, they would be able to spend "all our tomorrows together" (direct quote). He responds by initiating his own intricate web of plots and gambits to render her mortal again and, he hopes, redeem her. 

It doesn't end well, unfortunately. He destroys her backups, and they have a big dramatic sword-fight on a crashing airship (it makes more sense in context), but when she seems to have him beaten, she pleads with him to come with her to the escape pods. He gains the advantage, and she tries to bargain with him, instead, saying that, just before she died, she made a backup of the consciousness of the rebel leader he'd fallen in love with, and that she'll give it to him if he'll promise not to destroy her. He refuses, which suggests to me that he cares more for his sister's possible redemption than his lover's possible resurrection. 

She then changes her tune, begging him to shoot her in the stack; she'd prefer real death to being put in cold storage. Fade to black, gunshot sound effect. I was sure that either he was going to shoot himself in the stack, too, or else that there would be a reveal that he had just shot her in the head or something. Alas. In the ending, his stack is recovered from the airship's wreckage, and hers is not. When someone asks him what he's going to do next, he tells her that he knows "she" is still alive, and he's going to find her. The visuals make it clear he's talking about the rebel leader, but my headcanon is that he's talking about Rei. Regardless, however  twisted by abandonment, jealousy, and detachment she became, even as she began to treat non-immortals like insignificant playthings, despising everyone she'd ever known in her past life, the one thing she never let go of was her overwhelming NEED for her big brother. And did I mention that she taunts him at one point by uploading her consciousness into his love interest's body and trying to seduce him? He figures it out before it goes anywhere, but still!

Anon #4:

In Netflix's series Altered Carbon the main character has a sister that he is super close to. They are constantly looking out for and protecting one another. Rei, the sister, even gets jealous when her brother gets attached to or falls in love with other women. I don't want to give away too many spoilers but there are quite a few scenes, especially in the later episodes, where one can sense that her love for her brother isn't entirely sisterly.

Anon #5:

I really need to recommend Altered Carbon for siblings Takeshi and Rei. The big episode that reveals their back story is season 1 episode 7, and there is a LOT of drama and emotional moments to unpack. They're not canon sibcest, but I think even a casual viewer can see that everything Rei does is about trying to be with/stay with/protect her big brother. And the rest of the series ain't bad too. ;)

Thank you all for writing excellent recommendations about this relationship. 

I don’t think we can call it more than subtext, but the subtext is very very strong, and it has to be intentional. There’s just too much of it to dismiss it as acting or writing “fumbles” (that’s the television tropes term). 

I have so many thoughts and feelings that it’s hard to know where to start. Obviously the flashbacks to when they are kids are so sweet. Their relationship was so sweet and so pure before they were separated. And it’s so tragic what happened - their abusive father, the death of their mother, what Takeshi had to do (kill their father) in order to save them, and how that act actually meant their separation. Takeshi’s choice to join the military is understandable, but Rei feeling abandoned is also entirely justified. Even though Takeshi thought she was getting a good home, he still chose to leave her and I don’t think that wound of hers ever healed. 

It really seems like fate that brought them back together. I love how quickly they turned on their respective sides to choose each other. Takeshi had been living a life of purpose - he had missions and accomplishments that kept him busy - while Rei had been infinitely lonelier. Still, she’s pretty quick to forgive him, all told. 

I would have liked to have seen them spend at least a couple of nights alone in the forest before the envoys found them! 

I don’t want to say that Tak was  “in the wrong” - he was free to choose to stay with the envoys, to die for their mission. But he did not take the time to understand Rei’s position. She didn’t care about their mission - she just wanted a home and a family with him. We know that he loves her, she knows that he loves her - but he wasn’t showing her. And then he becomes preoccupied with Quell. 

I do think it was suggestive that Rei was so angry and hurt when she came upon Tak and Quell having sex in the forest but I also can understand, from a sisterly point of view, how that would have hurt. Here he is putting her (Rei’s) life at risk for a mission she doesn’t care about just because he’s hot for the leader. And yet again something is coming between them. 

I’m not sure if it was clarified by the story but I think Rei had already made her deal at that point - however, I’m sure she already sensed the romance budding between Tak and Quell. It’s interesting that Rei chose to kill Quell in person in a knife fight. Did she spare her from the virus because she knew she could use Quell’s stack as a bargaining chip with Tak, or was that just how the plan ended up working out? 

I think it’s really significant how much we see Tak thinking about Rei in those first episodes. When he has that vision of her sitting there talking to him, and then that scene when he’s in the shower remembering their childhood. 

For her it has been 250 years since last she saw him, and that was just for a handful of years - they had their long separation before that. That’s a major testament to how she feels about him. How obsessed she is with him. She obviously cared a lot about her status and her immortality and her wealth and businesses, but she may have started out doing that truly and 100% with the purpose of getting Tak back. She knew she would need money and influence in order to get him out of prison. 

She was truly horrible by the time we catch up with her. But I keep reminding myself that she grew up in the Yakuza. She was raised by her terrible father and her “weak” mother, she was spared from that by Tak’s violence, then she was sold into slavery and raised by gangsters. I don’t mean that this excuses her actions, I just mean that those were the values she grew up with - violence, survival, crime, abuse. And it seems like all the “meths” are horrible in their own ways - the message seems to be that that comes about from wealth and immortality - so she’s got that on top of what she already had. I think Tak understood that, which was why he had hope of saving her, why he still wanted to try and save her. 

All of Rei’s talk about doing everything for him, wanting the two of them to be together forever, not letting anything get between them, etc. etc. etc. was all pretty suggestive. Then we have, of course, the infamous scene of Rei in Ortega’s body. She might have been sussing out Ortega and Tak’s relationship a little bit (again, that’s also suggestive), but I think we can all agree that wasn’t “sisterly”, and who knows how far it would have gone if he hadn’t figured it out. 

She was fierce to the end. He knew he would survive no matter what because he was double stacked but I still love that he died with her, holding her in his arms. Although I wish Quell hadn’t shown up right then to ruin the brother/sister moment. 

I find it hard to believe that all of Rei’s backups are gone. Someone that careful who had survived that long wouldn’t put all of her eggs in one or two baskets. We might not see her again on the show but in my mind she’s out there. So I really like the headcanon that he’ll be out looking for her. And as for Quell, if she believed in her own philosophy, she wouldn’t want to be spun back up, would she? Dead is dead? Isn’t that what she was fighting for?

I’m sure I forgot lots of things. It was really cool to see brother = hero and sister = complicated villain as the main story. We saw that recently in Thor but obviously there were a lot more emotions here and suggestions of incest.