#HE KEEPS SCHEDULING ME OVER 30 HOURS EVERY WEEK TOO!!!! IM SUPPOSED TO BE PART TIMESTOP ITT STOP IM ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE 30 A WEEK AT MOST💔💔

[yandereshingeki]

im scheduled to work 2pm-10pm today and then 8:30am-2:30pm tomorrow i think my manager wants me dead

[minniweekss]

sit your ass down this is a long one

idk what the fuck has been wrong with me lately but all i ever feel is rage. everything pisses me the fuck off. mom woke me up at 10:30, bad mood. yesterday i woke up at 1:30pm, pissed tf off. also dropped my coffee on my new shoes yesterday and then proceeded to knock my entire 24ounce tumbler of coffee off my desk and all over my fucking carpet so now im even more pissed off trying to clean this fuck shit up with stupid ass paper towels knowing that my carpet is now fucked forever.

now heres the embarassing part. my mom witnessed my entire rage fit. screaming, flailing, throwing shit around my room and quite literally destroying my room just because some coffee spilled on my run. quite literally was my last straw.

now lets throw it back to the 26th, my birthday. I wake up with fucking covid (didnt know it was covid until the 28th). My mom leaves for NC that morning. we were supposed to do a birthday breakfast but since i was sick she just straight up left and we didnt do anything. so i spent the weekend alone with mike. Friday night i spent alone in my room with my little piece of cake and Love Island. then i went to work the next day (with a mask ofc) and worked a 9.5 hour shift while swaying and seeing black spots. oh lemme mention it was opening weekend of the new deadpool movie so it was fucking busy to say the least.

Anyways this whole weekend im literally alone. me myself and i. mom comes back, suddenly mike is sick. guess what? she buys him soup, fruit, juice, medicine, literally anything he needs. When i told my mom i had covid and was taken off the work schedule for the rest of the week she told me i should have said my test was negative so i could work anyways. ma'am im fucking sick with a very contagious disease are you fucking fr. while you're letting mike sit here and act like hes on his fucking death bed. suuuuuure.

now lets back it up even more to the weekend before my birthday. i had to celebrate that weekend bc i couldnt get the weekend of the 26th off bc of, you guessed it, deadpool. anyways. we were taking this blacksmithing class that i had my eye on for MONTHS. now im the one in the group to be known as the fantasy/medieval lover. i was quite literally writing a book about a blacksmith so. I was extremely excited for this class and i was trying to keep up with pics and videos of the progress cuz it looked like none of my friends were taking videos. I noticed a few here and there but didnt really think of it cuz i was so focused on making my knife. we get out of the class and back home and im sending all the pics and vids that i took and they did the same, and there were a lot more videos than i thougt. not a single one was me. i dont want to sound like a bitch saying like oh record me im important, no. But i was very excited for the class and i was trying my best to get videos of my own progress and they literally saw me doing that and didnt think to get a video of me making it? every single person that was in my group got a nice video of them tinkering away, while im seen in the background of the videos.

like quite literally one of them got a video of her doing each fucking step. why tf was i being ignored. they were barely even talking to me dude they were all talking to each other and im over here like ok i guess ill just focus on my knife then. there were a lot of cool tricks i was doing with the instructor, but i couldnt take a video bc blacksmithing needs both fucking hands. and i was too embarassed to ask for a video. i feel like i shouldnt have to ask..... the trick we did was called a double strike. the instructor did it with one of my friends and literally everyone whipped their phone out for a video. then a few mins later he came up to me and asked if i wanted to try and i was so excited. it was making me feel like a orc in mordor or something i thought this shit was so fucking cool. anyway we start, and i look around and not one person is even watching. cool.

idk i usually really dont like photos or videos of me cuz i hate the way i look so much, but this is probably the one thing i wanted a video of and didnt get one. i should have fucking asked them to take videos but i didnt think about it until we were home and i noticed that everyone else got a video of themselves. i was like "oh!" so i couldnt really post for my birthday cuz i didnt fucking have any pictures to post. literally all i got is a group picture with the instructors.....

to be fucking honest it felt like i was the third wheel when it was my planned event. not even just an event, but my 25th birthday. i feel like ever since then ive been agitated and annoyed all the time, especially with my friends. im becoming short tempered with them now. i dont think its a direct correlation to the blacksmithing at all i think its cuz my attitude has been so sour lately.

this post is all over the place so bear with me ok. im gonna jump around a lot. another thing that sets me off is when i text my friends either questions or plans i need them to confirm and they take 5 fucking day to respond to me, like shit i dont fucking need it now. idk i just cant be friends with someone who wont answer my messages like how the fuck are we supposed to talk if you dont even respond. im talking to myself at this point.

and my close close friends do this to me too so its making me become more distant with them because my biggest mode of communication is through text. because realistically i NEVERRRRRRRR see my friends. its a once every three months event okay. so you cannot judge me for being a big texter and wanting my friends to respond to me. i really dont want to feel like im fucking begging for your attention. i shouldnt HAVE to beg for your attention. I pretty much have two friends i send everything to and they're both out of state so... i cant even get my fucking in state friends to talk to me.

all of this to say im angry and lonely. im always angry in some form, im like the fucking hulk bro it takes the smallest fucking thing to set me off. and im so lonely all the fucking time cuz as you can tell, my friends dont fucking text me, i dont have any siblings either so its like wtf do i do. The only time i get human interaction is at work with stupid fucking customers. also dont have a partner cuz i didnt experience romantic love in high school or college so i fear its over for me. 25, havent been in a single relationship. not even joking bro not 1. ive had maybe 3 people like me before: my friend in HS when i wasnt even romantically processing things yet, a dude from work who only wanted to fuck, and a friend from college who iced me out when i said no.

idk i think thats SO comforting only having 3 people in your entire 25 years to be interested in you. that i know of at least. but out of those 3, only 1 asked me out so its like ok. even when i go out with friends they're the ones that get approached or flirted with by everyone. like at blacksmithing dude the cute instructors were flirting w all my friends and then when they got to me they'd be talking all business... cool thanks i get it im ugly as shit ok. i dont think theres ever been a girl or guy in public thats even checked me out. girls dont even go for me so thats fucking great. idk dude this type of shit makes me feel like im genuinely ugly. i know thats probably not true but thats how i see myself and how ive seen myself for years. i have never liked my face. ever. its always been my biggest insecurity. when covid first started and we wore masks i was fucking thriving having half my face covered. i looked so much better.

cant even try dating apps bc im demisexual so i cant even build a connection like that. and this time is all about hook up culture and friends w benefits its like i dont want that shit bro. i want an emotional connection with someone first before it gets physical because im fucking scared. I already hate myself so why would i let some stranger see my gross naked body bro ew. i cant do this dating shit brother i am genuonely about to be single for the rest of my goddamn life. which might be the end of me considering no one can fucking afford to live by themselves anymore and i REALLY dont want to live with a friend and their partner cuz that would just make me fucking depressed about my own love life.

screw the fucking world. im over this stupid ass shit dude, people fucking suck. relationships suck. friends suck. work sucks. life fucking sucks. cant afford to do anything, 25, still living at my fucking moms house. its like im stuck int he same spot and not moving forward. time seriously stopped in 2020 cuz what the fuck do you mean im 25 and not 20. i lost sooo much time to the pandemic and it made me worse. it made me more anxious, more depressed, more scared to go outside and enjoy life. like i used to be so productive. I was going to school and working 40 hrs a week. and now im only working 42hrs a week and i can barely get out of bed on my days off.

as i get older it just seems like life gets worse and worse. like i dont see this picking up at all. i literally only see a downward spiral from here.

life is absolute hell that is only sprinkled with good moments. idk if the good moments are enough to outweigh the bad at this point. idek if i want to make it to 30. im so miserable here. i dont even have any family in this stupid state except my mom. llike i dont have siblings and i barely have a fucking family either. dont talk to my aunt or cousins, dont talk to my oma cuz she hates me, barely talk to my other grandparents bc they're insane. its like i literally only have my mom. ,everyone else i know can go swing by their cousins place and hang out or spend the night. ive never been able to do that. my aunt left the state two months before my mom had me. like literally everyone related to me has moved away. like if i was close with my cousins at least thered be SOME family i could actually talk to and be close to. nah dude. its just me and my mom, literally. that is so fucking sad.

god help me bro

[onepunchmiss]

OPM s2 e9 Live Blog

“The Troubles of the Strong”

GOSH DANG 2 HOUR COMMUTES FROM WORK I woke up at 4am just to get to work early specifically so I could leave early I could watch this episode sooner because THIS IS THE EPISODE IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FOREVER OK Ive just been vibrating at my desk all day fluctuating somewhere between ‘awerstdyfcvgbjhkn’ and ‘SADFVYNTBGVRFCE’ IM NOT mentally or emotionally prepared so WITHOUT FURTHER DELAY IMMA WATCHHHH

as always I’m watching from the perspective of someone who is up to date on the Web comic and Manga

“I know that head” *Immediatley cuts to opening theme* I SCREAM i wasnt expecting that nor am I prepared to see Zombieman not even the same 2 pictures of him that ive seen all season help my stomach is in knots and i cannot

asdfghjkl I can tell already this live blog is gonna be SOOOOO BIAS just cause IM WAITING for THE THING annd the rest is great and all but I CANT FOCUS ON ANYTHING Im really not gonna do the episode over all justice im sorry sdfghjk

HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH I CALLED IT IT WAS SONIC THE DOODLE WAS SONIC i was holding my breath cause I knew there was a VERY SLIM CHANCE it would be Z but i felt it in my gut It would be sonic uhg phew ok not dead yet

lol Bakuzan stopping mid boast and just screaming dude you should’ve known then and there to quit oh my god the music is SO excessive right now I’m very distracted it better be part of the gag… or not ok

Saitama just casually explaining stuff I love him so much sweetheart,,, pft “I was bored”, honestly I just appreciate how anime captures the beats every time Saitama delivers a line like that, we expect it but it never fails to make me cackle. Also, “that kind of strength should be illegal” he says to SAITAMA yeah ok

OH!!!! GENOS BB stop getting obliterated please Dr. Kuseno is old what are you going to do when you can’t rely on him for repairs and EYYY Shout out to Atomic, Tatumaki, Flash, and King for the cameos. Genos, are you really underestimating your Sensei like that?? Are you the real genos?????

OH MY GOD DID THEY JUST GIVE SUIRYU A SAITAMA FACE WHAT IS THIS CURSED IMAGE

ok in all seriousness Suiryu’s voice actor is killin it like I legit feel bad for they guy getting dragged by Saitama, U hav my respect Suiryu I still might not like you all that much but damn u makin me feel that character development

THIS IS SUCH A CUTE FACE

guys I love saitama so much be still my heart it hurts ;-; this scene chouldne be as heart warming as it is right now hhhhhhhhhhh

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH PRISONER PRISONER FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFSDGFSDGS I FORGOT U WERE GONNA SHOW UP I HAVE AN ODD LOVE HATE RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR CHARACTER BUT GD ARE YOU ENTERTAINING AS HELL HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHYOU BIG HAPPY IDIOT IM SCREAMING IM SO CONCERNED OH MY GOD THEY SHOWED THE BUTT RINGING I FEEL SO CONFLICTED AM I EXCITED?? SCARED?? PROBABLY BOTH

ok ok ok ok ok ok ok so now that the tournament is officially over I know theres still a lot to cover this ep before Z???? BUT my bloodpressure WILL NOT CALM DOWN cause WHAT IF they do thingS OUT of ORDER IM ON HIGH ALERT HIGH ALERT WHAT IF I DIE

OH HI KING HELP IM HAVING ANXIETY YOU KNOW HOW THAT BE RIGHT MY DUDE aw omg how are they both so cute looking right now??? WAIT also that was a smooth transition from Saitama Face™ to serious face woah ?? You know, with all that talk I wonder what the end game is for Saitama? Like, will the series end seriously or on a joke? He gonna find a real challenge or will it somehow be another one-punch? I am completely undecided tbh…

...i wanted king to finish saying “daze” so badly right thereu said yare yare plz give me the meme plz Ok the way Saitama keeps saying ‘Kinggu’ is weirding me out also ng is great and this is very nicely drawn

...plussireaditinamanga… PFFFTTT the VOICE ACTING-- King is such a good friend for Saitama really thank goodness for him ASDFGHJKL THE WHOLE REST OF THE EXCHANGE IS SO GOOD ‘OK JERKOFF’ im d y i n g

I MISSED YOU PLZ COME BACK TO THE REGULARLY SCHEDULED BEING A LIL SHIT PLZ UR BEAUTIFUL also the king movements on the bike looked pretty neato

OK Honestly though why does no one know what the Hero Hunter is supposed to look like?? How is that not common knowledge among heroes by now?????

SCREECHING IM SCREECHING THE SECOND MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS EPISODE (i hope???? its running kinda late and I’m worried???????) THE NINJAS THE NINJA DUO ITS THEMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM theyre so pretty i cri ????

OK MONSTER WIND LOOKS REALLY COOL I DIG I DIGGGG also I REALY dig the ominous music  and as this scene is nearing its end MY HEART IS POUNDING HELP  

MARSHALL  GORILLA IM HYPERVENTILATING AND SCREAMING AND MY PALMS ARE SWEATING ARM SPAGHETTI HELP MY EYES ARE WATERING TOO

my hands are shaking as im typing and i cant stop laughing nervously and my through is dry this is NOT NORMAL typing is hard im afraid to push play im afraid

its been 5 minutes i cant push play i cant

I MADE A MISTAKE THEY DIDNT SHOW THE OTHER HEROES FIRST HES ON MY SCREEN I CANT STOP  MY LEGS SHAKING I BREATHE

tfw ive been just mumbling oh my god oh my god nope nope nope for 10 minutes help help help nope

hes on my screen but i cant push play i cant open the tab i cant

everything is so much easier if i didnt FEEL but I have FEELINGS \

I cant even look at him i cant hes too perfect help

30 minutes i can breathe but like shaking ???? ???

ok it only took 45 minutes alright ok ok ok open the tab and PUSH the BUTTON

I lied it took an hour i still cant look at the screen im gonna die this man will be the death of me I CANT GO 2 SECONDS WITHOUT PAUSING AND SCREAMING WHY CAN I REREAD THE CHAPTER OVER AND OVER BUT CANT LISTEN TO HIM FOR 2 SECONDS WHY

OK im gonna start counting how many times I’ve paused from now on its been AT LEAST 8 so lets start there.

9

10

11 long pause his voice im crying his face

12

13 just look at him I cant my stomach

14 “DRAT” help me

15 i keep switching tabs but cant push play again oh no

16

17

18 I just noticed he definitely has eyebrows here asdfghjkl

19

20

21

NO COME BACK TORTURE ME SOME MORE WITH YOUR PERFECT GENERAL PRESENCE that was the most exhausting 1.5 hours asdfghjkl what if they dont make a season 3 what if I never see him in motion again what if i just die

OH MY GOD DRIVE KNIGHT MY MYSTERIOUS SON THANK YOU I CAN BREATHE DISTRACT ME PLZ

WAIT

DESTROCHLORIDIUM I CANT HANDLE THIS EPISODE I JUST REALLY CANT I JUST AND THE HEKKIN CAPTION HE GOT A BAD CASE OF THE RUNS AND OMFG MY FAVORITE GAROU MOMENT FROM THE MANGA THUS FAR NEXT WEEK I !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i… no recap this week. i think my feelings on the ep are obvious.  Thanks for reading and somehow managing to get this far? I appreciate yall so much really. Thank you for following me being nuts as I am. I seriously mean it. I’ll see yall next week with the next with the next episode!

[seokpapi-blog]

CHARCOAL (M) | kth

“The thing with Taehyung is that he use his hands a lot while drawing and get his fingers stained with charcoal, a lot. But when I come back home later, I love to see the same black prints all over my body.”

+Pairing: Taehyung x femlale MC ft Seokjin +Genre: College!AU, Artist!kth +Warnings: sexual assault victim +Note: GUYS! This is an adaptation of the book “Easy” by Tammara Webber. I decided to start like this because im not sure of my writing skill yet, so enjoy!

01 02 03 04 05

03

I dutifully emailed the econ tutor when I got back to the dorm after class, and started on my art history homework. While tapping out a response essay on a neoclassical sculptor and his influence on the style, I mumbled a thank you to my inner neurotic that I’d at least kept up in my non-econ classes.

With Elee at work, I could buckle down to an evening of quiet studying. Here in our microscopic room, she couldn’t help being a near-constant distraction. While I attempted to cram for an algebra test last week, the following conversation took place: “I had to have those pumps for my job, Daddy!” she argued into her cell. “You said you wanted me to learn the value of work while I’m in school, and you always say a person should dress for success, so I’m only trying to follow your words of wisdom.”

When she glanced at me, I rolled my eyes. My roommate was a hostess at a swanky restaurant downtown, a position she frequently used as an excuse for overspending her clothing budget. Three hundred dollar shoes, essential for a job that paid nine bucks an hour? I stifled my laugh when she winked back at me. Her father always caved, especially when she employed the D-word—Daddy.

I wasn’t expecting a quick reply from the tutor. As an upperclassman and a tutor for a huge class like Dr. Park’s, he had to be busy. I was also certain he’d be none too thrilled to assist a failing sophomore who’d skipped the midterm and two weeks of class, and who had never attended one of his tutoring sessions. I was prepared to show him I would work hard to catch up and get out of his hair as quickly as possible.

Fifteen minutes after I emailed him, my inbox dinged. He’d replied, in the same formal tone I’d chosen after.

“Ms. Son, Dr. Park has informed me of your need to catch up in macro and the project you’ll need to complete in order to replace the midterm grade. Since he’s approved you to do this work, there’s no need to share the reason why you’ve fallen so far behind with me. I’m employed as a tutor, so this falls under my job description. 

We can meet on campus, preferably in the library, to discuss the project. It’s detailed, and will require a great deal of outside research on your part. I’ve been instructed by Dr. Heller as to the level of assistance I should provide. Basically, he wants to see what you can do, alone. I’ll be available for general questions, of course.My group tutoring sessions are MWTh from 1-2:00, but those cover current material. I assume you’ll need more assistance comprehending the material you missed over the past two weeks. Let me know the times you’re available to meet for individual tutoring sessions and we’ll coordinate from there.

Kim T.”

I clenched my jaw. Though perfectly polite, the tone of his email reeked of condescension… until his signature at the very end: KT. Was he being friendly, or casual, or ridiculing my attempt to sound like a serious, mature student? I read his email again and got even madder. So he thought I was too dumb to comprehend the course material on my own? 

“Mr. Kim, I can’t attend your sessions because I have art history MW 1-2:30, and I tutor at the middle school on Thursday afternoons. I live on campus and am available to meet late afternoons Monday/Wednesday, and most evenings. I’m also free on weekends when I’m not tutoring. I’ve begun reading the course material on GDP, CPI, and inflation, and I’m working on the review questions at the end of chapter 9. If you want to meet to pass on the project requirements, I’m sure I can catch up on the regular coursework on my own.

Y/N.”

I pressed send and felt superior for all of about twenty seconds. In actuality, I’d barely glanced at chapter 9. So far, it looked less like comprehensible supply and demand charts, and more like gibberish with dollar signs and confusing shifts tossed in for fun. As for GDP and CPI, I knew what those acronyms signified… Sort of.

Oh, God. I’d just haughtily dismissed the tutor provided by my professor—the professor who wasn’t obligated to give me a second chance, but had.

When my email dinged again, I swallowed before clicking over to it. A new message from Kim T was at the top of my inbox.

“Y/N, If you prefer to catch up on your own, that’s your prerogative, of course. I’ll gather the information on the project and we can meet, say, Wednesday just after 2:00?

Kim T. PS What do you tutor?”

His reply didn’t seem angry. He was civil. Nice, even. I was so emotional lately that I couldn’t judge anything clearly.

“Kim T, I teach private lessons to orchestra students—middle and high school—on the upright bass. I just remembered I agreed to assist in transporting two of my students’ instruments to a program this Wednesday afternoon. (I drive a truck, to accommodate transport of my own instrument, and now I’m constantly inundated with requests to move large musical instruments, sofas, mattresses...)

Are you free any evening? Or Saturday?

Y/N”

I’d been playing the upright bass since I was ten. In fourth grade, one of the orchestra’s two bass players had a pee wee football collision the second weekend of school, resulting in a snapped collarbone. Our orchestra teacher, Mrs. Peabody, had looked out over the vast sea of violin players and pleaded for someone to switch. “Anyone?” she’d squeaked. When no one else volunteered, I raised my hand.

“Honey, isn’t that an odd choice of instrument for a girl to play?” my mother asked. Still petulant over my rejection of learning piano—her instrument of choice—in favor of the violin, she was immediately unsupportive of my new preference.

“Yes.” I glared at my mother and she rolled her eyes.

By the time I was fifteen, I’d reached my full five-and-a-half-foot stature and could perform with a three-quarter sized instrument, no height adjustment needed, though it was a close thing.

For the past year, I’d been giving lessons to local students—all of them boys—each of them some version of smug and impertinent until they heard me play.

"Y/N, Upright bass? Interesting.

I’m busy in the evenings this week, and most weekends as well. I don’t want you to lose time on this, so I’ll send you the project information later tonight, and we can discuss it over email until we can sync our schedules. Will that work for you?

KT. PS – I’ll keep you in mind if I buy a large appliance or need to move.”

“Kim, Thank you, yes—that would be great. (Re: sending the project information, I mean, not your brazen resolution to use me for my truck’s hauling capacity. You’re no better than my friends! They dodge U-Haul rentals and delivery fees, and I get paid in beer.)

Y/N.”

“Y/N, I’ll send the project specifics when I get home, and we can discuss.The barter system is just primitive economics at work, you know. (And are you old enough for beer?)

KT.”

“Kim, Far be it from me to knock an effective use of prehistoric economics. And I suppose friends who pay in beer are better than friends who don’t pay at all. (Re: my age—I don’t believe the job description of Economics Tutor makes you privy to that sort of personal information.)

Y/N”

“Y/N,  Touché. I’ll just have to trust you not to get me arrested for supplying alcohol to minors.You’re right—impoverished, auto-lacking college students like myself should respect tried-and-true methods of transport negotiations.

KT.”

I smiled at his candid admission of being carless, my face falling when I contrasted it with the sense of self-importance Seokjin got from his car. Right before we graduated, his parents gave his two-year-old Mustang to his sixteen-year-old brother, who’d wrecked his Jeep the weekend before. As an early graduation gift, they replaced Seokjin’s Mustang with the brand new BMW—sleek and black, with every available upgrade, including plush leather seats and a stereo system I could hear from a block away.

Fuuuuck. I had to stop linking every single thing that happened to me with Seokjin. 

********

Arriving a minute before econ began Wednesday morning, the last thing I expected to see was Seokjin, leaning on the wall outside the classroom, exchanging phone numbers with a girl. Giggling after snapping a picture of herself, she handed his phone back. He did the same, grinning down at her.

He would never smile at me like that again.

I didn’t realize I was frozen in place until a classmate shouldered into me, knocking my heavy backpack from my shoulder. “’Excuse me,” he grumbled, his tone more ‘Get the fuck out of the way’ than ‘Sorry I ran into you’.

As I bent to retrieve my backpack, praying Seokjin and his fangirl hadn’t seen me, a hand grasped the strap and swung the pack up from the floor. I straightened and looked into clear brown eyes.  “Chivalry isn’t really dead, you know.” His deep, calm voice was just as I remembered from Saturday night, and from Monday afternoon, across the Starbucks counter. “Oh? ”He slipped the strap back onto my shoulder. “Nah. That guy’s just an asshole.” He gestured toward the guy who’d bumped me, but I could have sworn his eyes raked over my ex, too, who was crossing to the door, laughing with the girl. “You okay?” For the third time, this question, from him, held deeper significance than the usual, everyday implication. “Yes, fine.” What could I do but lie? “Thank you.” I turned and entered the room, took my new seat, and spent the first forty-five minutes of class fixing my attention on Dr. Park, the whiteboard he filled, and the notes I took. Dutifully copying charts of short-run equilibrium and aggregate demand, all of it seeming like so much nonsense, I realized I would have to beg my tutor Kim for help after all. My pride would only cause me to slide further behind. Minutes before the end of class, I turned and reached into my backpack as an excuse to sneak a look at the guy on the back row. He was staring at me, a black pencil loose between his fingers, tapping the notebook in front of him. He slouched into his seat, one elbow over the back of it, one booted foot casually propped on the support under his desk. As our eyes held, his expression changed subtly from unreadable to the barest of smiles, though guarded. He didn’t look away, even when I glanced into my bag and then back at him. I snapped forward, my face warming.

Guys had shown interest in me over the past three years, but other than a couple of short-lived, certainly never revealed or acted-upon crushes—one on my own college-aged bass tutor, and another on my chemistry lab partner—I’d not been attracted to anyone but Seokjin. The economics lecture reduced to background babble, I couldn’t decide if my response to this stranger was lingering embarrassment, gratitude that he’d saved me from Junmin, or a simple crush. Perhaps all three.

When class ended, I packed my textbook into my backpack and resisted the urge to look in his direction again. I fiddled long enough for Seokjin and his fangirl to leave. As I stood to go, the persistently sleepy guy who sat next to me spoke.

“Hey, which questions did he say to do for the extra credit? I must have knocked off for a few seconds right around when he discussed those—my notes are indecipherable.” I glanced at the spot he indicated in his notes, and sure enough, the scribbles became less and less readable. “I’m Jungkook, by the way.”

“Oh, um, let’s see…” I flipped through my spiral and pointed to the assignment details printed across the top of the page. “Here it is.” As he copied it, I added, “I’m Y/N.”

Jungkook was one of those quite and nice guys, I’ve had seen him talking to his friends these days. He seems relaxed all they time.

“Thanks, Y/N. This saves my ass—I need those extra credit points. See you Friday.” He snapped his notebook closed. “Unless I accidentally sleep in,” he added, giving me a genuine smile.

I returned the smile as I moved into the aisle. “No problem.”

Maybe I was capable of making friends outside of my Seokjin circle. This interaction, along with the defection of most of our friends to Seokjin after the breakup, made me realize how dependent on him I’d become. I was a little shocked. Why had this never occurred to me before? Because I’d never thought Seokjin and I could end?

Foolish, naïve assumption. Obviously.

The room had almost cleared, the guy from the back row included. I felt a stab of irrational disappointment. So he’d stared at me in class—big deal. Maybe he was just bored. Or easily distracted.

But as I exited the room, I spotted him across the crowded hallway, talking with a girl from class. His demeanor was relaxed, from the navy shirt, open over a plain gray t-shirt, to the hand tucked into the front pocket of his jeans. Muscle didn’t show under the unbuttoned long-sleeved shirt, but his abdomen looked flat, and he’d put Junmin on the ground and bloody easily enough Saturday night. His black pencil sat atop one ear, only the pink eraser at the tip showing, the rest disappearing into his dark, messy hair.

“So it’s a group tutoring thing?” the girl asked, twirling a long loop of blonde hair around and around her finger. “And it lasts an hour?”

He hitched his backpack, twitching wayward bangs out of his eyes. “Yeah. From one to two.”

As he gazed down at her, she tilted her head and rocked her weight slightly from side to side, as though she was about to dance with him. Or for him. “Maybe I’ll check it out. What are you doing after?”

“Work.”

She huffed an annoyed breath. “You’re always working, Taehyung.” Her pouty tone hit my ears like nails on a chalkboard, as it always has when used by any girl above age six. But bonus—I’d just learned his name.

He glanced up then, as though he sensed me standing there, eavesdropping, and I pivoted in the opposite direction and started walking swiftly, too late to pretend I hadn’t been purposely listening to their conversation. I wove through the rush of people in the packed hallway, ducking out the side exit.

No way was I going to those tutoring sessions if Taehyung attended them. I wasn’t sure what he meant—if he meant anything at all—staring at me like that during class, but the overt intensity of his gaze made me uneasy. 

[automatismoateo]

I think that I'm going to kill myself via /r/atheism

Submitted March 17, 2019 at 04:50AM by -SENDHELP- (Via reddit https://ift.tt/2TaZ1MT) I think that I'm going to kill myself

Edit for anyone reading this post: I've read some replies and calmed down. I think I'm going to be fine. Life is just shit pretty much but it'll be over soon. I'll be able to get out and I think that I can do it. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, right?

This will be a long post. I'm sorry.

I just can't do it anymore, I can't deal with them for three more years it's too fucking much. I just need to fucking say something because I'm shaking and crying and I can't do it anymore.

My parents are super bullheaded. They do what they want and never listen to people or logic. I've spent the last three years of my life learning about and saving my money that I FUCKING EARNED to build and upgrade my computer. It's the only way I can talk to my friends and it's the only way I can have any fun, because I live in southern fucking Mississippi and I have issues overheating so I can't exactly go outside very often. This computer is my whole fucking life. If I didn't have my computer, I would have nothing but a roof over my head and a bed to sleep in.

I have issues getting sick. I get sick a lot. A few weeks ago I missed over 2 weeks of school from the flu (my mom is partially antivax and this was the first year I convinced her to let me get the flu shot- it sadly didn't do well for me) and pneumonia. The school I go to gives an absurd amount of work and people will literally come into school WITH THE FLU because they can't afford to miss a day. It's that fucking wacked. At one point a third of the school had the flu, people were walking around with masks like it was China or some shit.

This was the second time I've missed a large portion of school. The first was when I spent over two weeks in a psych ward because I was going to kill myself because of my parents. This understandably means that I have a metric fucking assload of homework to do and my teachers all enter zeroes until it's all turned in. I never have time in class to make things up like tests and before and after school I have to take the bus because of my crazy ass schedule and I don't have time there either. The third quarter ended last week and I had just finished turning stuff in for the second. It's fucking insane.

SO, my wonderful logical parents had taken my computer away 99% of the time because of my "low" grades and would not accept any explanation except I'm just lazy. This means that for 18 fucking weeks now I've barely been able to talk to my friends or do fucking ANYTHING to destress or unwind.

My grades have been going up recently because I've been spending almost every waking hour and fucking breath of air doing work and emailing teachers and organizing etc. I have all As and Bs, a C and a D right now. They were thinking about letting me have more computer time because of (you'll drop your damn jaw at this) how proud they are still the initiative that I'm taking and how responsible I'm being. 30 seconds later they say the computer has to come out of my room (which I've spent hours organizing to make it fit my computer and I can have this cozy cubby that helps me relax and calm down and I've also spent money making it nicer) because IM FUCKING LAZY AND NOT MATURE ENOUGH TO HAVE A COMPUTER IN MY ROOM. what the fuck????

So all this happens and we've cooled off etc, and I've finished moving 99% of my stuff back downstairs. (I say back because just a few months ago it was downstairs for their same fake bullshit reasons) the table downstairs is too small. It won't fit everything that I need. My dad goes to the attic and gets a table out except it's so fucking short that it creates this pocket of hot air with where the wall is and my desk and it'll overheat my PC and also just looks ugly as shit and will cause way more dog hair and dirt to get in my PC.

This is where the part comes in that's got me crying and questioning if I can really keep doing this. My parents know that I'm an atheist. They're die hard Catholics. I was arguing with my parents trying to explain all of the issues that that would cause and they weren't trying to help at ALL and eventually just fucking walked out of the room and started watching Netflix. Like seriously how immature (spelling?) can they fucking be?

So I've gone in where they are to continue trying to get this fixed and we're arguing more and my dad threatened to stick my computer in a box and get rid of it. This is not okay. That computer like I said is all that I have. I have nothing else physically that matters, really. He said that and I said, knowing that it's pretty much the only thing that will make him say anything, "well then I guess I'll just sell my everlasting soul to the devil or something" (which is really fucking stupid to say but I was literally saying it to hold my "soul" hostage to make him not even think about trying to get rid of the computer)

And here it is: his reply was a snark and then, "you have no soul." This man believes in souls. He believes that everyone has a soul. He just said that I don't have a soul and he was dead fucking serious. He literally said that I'm so fucking low that I don't matter to anything. This man is supposed to be my father. Less than twenty fucking seconds later he had the AUDACITY to lecture me on being rude and not being a proper good person. I called him out on it. He did a fucking 720° in that convo and completely changed the topic fucking Sarah Huckabee Sanders style.

After that some other stuff happened and I went back and talked to my mom who was just sitting on the couch browsing Facebook without s fucking care in the world. This is how the conversation went:

Me: "You knew exactly what he meant when he said I have no soul. Exactly." Her: "well you shouldn't have been so rude." Me: "are you seriously lecturing me on being rude when he said something like that to his son and you just sat there and watched?" Her: it was unexcusable but-" I cut her off because this is the point when I start tearing up and shaking Me: "inexcusable? That was beyond inexcusable. You sitting there doing nothing while he said that was beyond inexcusable." She never replied. I left the room to go move more computer stuff.

A little bit later I looked at her and asked her for help moving a really big table. She refused and continued to browse Facebook. Less than five minutes later she asked why I wasnt helping my dad move other desk stuff (tldr after him lecturing me on English after the morality lecture I finally got him to at least help me move my desk downstairs so that I would have room to put my things on) and I replied, "Are you actually asking me why I'm not helping when less than five minutes ago you refused to help me move this table less than 10 feet?"

She scoffed and went upstairs and said to my dad "we need to talk about this." Etc.

At this point I the tears were fucking ROLLING down my face and I was barely keeping it together in the chair I sat down in and I thought to myself what the fuck would it matter if I killed myself? So here I am. Suicidal as fuck. Crying. Alone. Fuck life. No loving God created a life like this. This is a fucking living hell and I can't take it anymore.

[powerranks]

Power Rankings, Week 7

I’m back, I have a few hours to kill since I get a late start at work tomorrow. I really am gonna try to be consistent, but Beshoy, Anthony, Dyl, and anyone who I’ve ever forgotten that has contributed to these can attest to how strangely long it takes. Anyways, the NFL is weird this year. Are the fucking Eagles the best team in the league? How weird is that to think about? There’s so much parity and we don’t know shit about most teams on a week to week basis, making fantasy all that much harder. It seems a new random player explodes for a shitload of points every week, players who weren’t previously consistent are all of a sudden consistent but we still don’t fully trust them because of their reputations (examples: Agholor, Hogan, Alex Smith). Five years ago, you had an extremely firm grasp on who was good and who wasn’t, and this year nobody has any idea. Not even....

Anthony

1. Scott’s Balls 12-4-16 (Anthony “all your players could die spontaneously, and whoever you play’s players will fumble one time then all die spontaneously” Mendola) (7-0) (LW: 1)

It’s just getting ridiculous. The only thing that’s cool for us is that two of the last three weeks, you’ve looked shockingly vulnerable. Last week you really only won because Amari Cooper turned into 2007 Randy Moss and because Bailey got hurt. I think some of the consistents on your team are strangely slowing down, even if it’s just slightly. Hunt has been 10 a week for quite some time now instead of the 30 point a game guy he was earlier in the year. Cam has looked absolutely awful for two straight weeks (even though he got 21 two weeks ago, you KNOW he didnt play anywhere near deserving that amount of points), Hogan is quite clearly touchdown dependent, you know you can’t trust cooper yet, and Ingram is at the very least losing some carries to Kamara. I’m not suggesting your team is bad, let’s just face the fact that you can’t possibly be as confident in your team as you were three weeks ago. I still think you win this week, because you yet again catch another break since this happens to be the fucking week you play...

Jack

2. Fournette About It (Jack “your team looks like this is a 4 man league” Cleek) (5-2) (LW: 2)

This is like if the Warriors and the Cavaliers played each other and Durant and Curry just decided to take the day off. It’s a damn shame that your ACTUAL two best players and the #2 kicker aren’t playing against that fucking piece of shit. But wow, if I were to bet on anyone winning the league right now, it’d be this team. You have absolutely zero holes. Nobody can even touch your RBs, even without Zeke. Brown-Diggs is the best duo of receivers anyone has, and I’m kicking myself for dropping Wentz. Dude is a fucking stud. This is by far and away the best team in the league, were it not for two close losses Anthony would be the clear second fiddle. Anthony literally agreed with this.

The “6 of us were within 9 points of each other this weekend and honestly I am real close to not assigning numbers and just writing shit about each team” Tier

fuck it, im making more tiers within the tier just to make it even more frustrating for myself

The “playing a slumping Chris and tony back to back really masks/is going to mask how much our teams are bad” Tier + beshoy

3. Scott’s Penis (David “I have never been less scared of a 4-3 team” Chinchilla) (LW: 4)

The only reason I’m here is because of upside? I’m currently texting Beshoy and he said I was a poor man’s Anthony and Jack. I think I’m more of a homeless man’s Anthony (not Jack, Jack is better) I have three (in theory) good RB’s, a good (can he keep it up?) QB, and serviceable but wildly under-performing WR’s. Other than two weeks where my team took a total shit, my team’s actually been pretty decent? It’s insane that that’s enough to put me at 3. It all comes with the caveat of the tier though, I’m smack dab in the middle of the least tough part of my schedule (No offense Scott/Chris/Tony this week). Probably gonna lose to Tony now for talking shit tbh. But hey, I have two straight weeks over 100 and that’s something to be proud of considering that nobody fucking scores in this league. 

Also pictured: Me, after trading AP for the number one Fantasy QB

4. Green Evans and Kam (Beshoy “I can’t stress how much I hate your team name because it’s an Alex team name” Halim) (3-4) (LW: 6)

Second unluckiest loser last week behind Scott imo but you have an argument to be first. So many things had to go wrong. But honestly, look at your starting lineup! It’s SO much better than I think you or anyone perceives it to be. Gordon-Kamara would start for pretty much any team outside of Jack, Anthony, and maybe me. AJ Green and Evans will combine for 35+ far more frequently than they combine for less than 20. ASJ is apparently Hunter Henry from last year. Your QB and flex spots are the only things that aren’t great, which is a huge bummer considering you should have Aaron Rodgers on your team. If you can stream properly and just figure out someone who can get you 8 a week in the flex, this team is WAY better than I thought it was until I looked into it. The way you sulk IRL made me think your team sucked but it really doesn’t.

5. 420 Blountz (Alex “I have never been less scared of a 5-2 team” Ahn) (5-2) (LW:10)

I mean...Beshoy was downright disrespectful for making you 10 but I also totally get his argument. Your team hasn’t played bad but like...this is a boom or bust team that thinks 95 is a boom. (my team is the same way tbh) Again, I wanna stress that your team hasn’t played that bad but you just went through the really soft part of your schedule (again no offense Tony/Chris/Scott) and the teams coming up are slightly tougher outs. You have better WR’s, but the difference between my team and yours here is that you have no RB’s. I don’t trust Jones yet, Blount has been meh for three straight weeks, Marshawn is honestly awful, and don’t @ me about literally any of your other rbs lol. I consider RB’s more consistent than WR’s and my RB’s are better than yours and that’s the difference here. But really we kinda have the exact same team, idk man someone just gift wrap the trophy to Jack or Anthony already it’s wild I can’t find consistently good things to say about the god damn 5th ranked team in my ranks.

Also pictured: Alex after getting Aaron Jones for the Matt Ryan regression year

The “this might be flipped if Gordon scored on one of his 4 chances from the 1 or if Elliott had made that FG” Tier

6. Anthony’s Golden Taint (Dylan “Legally change your name to Dyl already” Jessop) (4-3) (LW:5)

Jordan Reed’s creamy, chunky nut and Elliott reverse nutting into his own body saved your life Monday night. Let’s be real, you got super lucky. Anyways, I can’t really tell you where you’re good outside of Cousins and your WR’s. Your RB’s are wildly inconsistent (I really think Gilislee is droppable, and CJ is losing touches on a bad offense). You’re in bye week hell, but is it weird that I don’t think you got that much worse because of it? Nelson has to still figure it out with Hundley and Murray hasn’t been phenomenal anyways. Not having Engram REALLY hurts this team, which is honestly all I have to type to show how much you depend on a few dudes. 

7. Mixon It Up (Alec “Trading to make his team worse since 2kforever” Bernstein) (2-5) (LW:3)

I told Beshoy last week that I’d rank you super high as long as the points kept coming. I unfortunately was too busy to write rankings during your good weeks, but don’t think I didn’t notice the really nice run you had for about 4 weeks. Losing OBJ was a bummer, but giving Beshoy AJ Green and Kamara for peanuts was a really bad move. Fantasy Football is a stars game, not a depth game. Depth is nice, but who cares if your bench players do well if your starters aren’t being maximized? Green and Kamara would both start on your team RIGHT FUCKIN NOW. Obviously the trade would look a lot better if Rodgers hadn’t gotten hurt, but even with good Davante I think you lost the trade by a long shot. Martin has been slightly worse than Kamara, and nobody’s ever taking good Davante over AJ Green. I like your RB’s, I like your tight end, and I like Wilson as much as the next guy, but imagine the same team with AJ Green...

The 

Tier

8. Scott’s Jizz (Scott “I am so sorry” Felgenhauer) (3-4) (LW:7)

You were so close. You were supposed to be the chosen one. But Anthony called in another favor to the league office and injured Dan Bailey. Either way though, your team isn’t scary even a little bit, but it has some sort of retard strength. It’s like a poor man’s version of Dylan’s team, Good QB, good receivers. Unfortunately, there is zero semblance of a flex and your RB’s are somehow worse than his. I’ve doubted you most of the year, and you usually pull out a win after I doubt you, but I can’t have faith in a team starting Powell and James White on a weekly basis. I just can’t. You need to trade Kelce or Ertz and make sure you get a RB back somehow. 

The Unlucky Bottom Bois

9. Hammer (Tony “I still think he’ll be back somehow” Mendola) (1-6) (LW:9)

It’s just been the year from hell, Tony. You’ve outscored most of us this year but you can’t seem to catch a break. Your team isn’t bad, it just has consistently underperformed. Brady is good, Freeman is good, Jarvis Landry will be better with Matt Moore, but Hilton is good when Luck is in, and Luck may not play. McCaffrey has underwhelmed. Fitz is only good with Palmer, not Stanton. Tight end is a mess on this team. I think you’re more than capable of winning most of your games from here on out, but it may not be enough. I hope it does turn around, you cheering out at the bar is one of the more fun things to watch. Just start doing it next week. 

10. Smallerwood (Chris “Matt Bryant was a microcosm like Beshoy said” Gatzow) (1-6) (LW:9)

Much like Tony, this team is good it just underperforms almost every week. Brees-Howard-Julio-Baldwin is a KILLER top 4. Delanie Walker is a great TE. Only Brees and Howard have lived up to their name. The falcons are singlehandedly killing Julio, I really don’t get why he’s not doing better than he is. The Matt Ryan regression tour bus has apparently picked up Julio. Baldwin is historically a second half player, so he could turn around, but it may all be too late. It doesn’t help that you have no flex. Coleman should be startable weekly, but there’s nobody else serviceable here. I hope Montgomery comes back and outperforms Jones for your sake. I really thought your team was the best team before the season and after Week 1, it’s just been the worst possible scenario.

PICKS

Hammer (Tony) over Scott’s Penis (David)[upset special on my own dam self bb]

Scott’s Balls 12-4-16 (Anthony) over Fournette About It (Jack)

Smallerwood (Chris) over Scott’s Jizz (Scott)

Anthony’s Golden Taint (Dyl) over Mixon It Up (Alec)

Green Evans and Ham (Shoy) over 420 Blountz (Alex)

Last Week: 3-2

Season: not even sure anymore

[spilling-thoughts-blog1]

a collection of my honest (yet irrelevant) thoughts. | wednesday 8/30/2017 |

current adventure: college. 

I feel stupid sitting on a bench on campus writing a post to (possibly) nobody; but after 3 classes (with another one today) spanning these first three days of college, I feel like I need to write it out. crying can only relieve so much in all honesty. so emo, my apologies. 

classes started Monday, 8/28/30 and from the moment I woke up on Sunday, I've felt so empty and drained despite only taking two hour-and-twenty-minute long classes. Monday was okay. Class let out 30 minutes early, and since it was my only class of the day I walked a few blocks down to Girlfriend’s campus. Her school is insanely nice, just my style. Very industrial, modern, and taken care of. A drastic difference to my school. 

Its dirty and old (not a cute-worn though, it just looks like it hasnt been taken care of) and the kids are crusty bums. Granted, Girlfriend’s school has weirdos, lots of them, but theres a sense of safety because you know they won't try to shank you if you bump them! I don't have that luxury here. Her school is a private art school, mine is just the local community college. gotta save those dollars.

Anyways. On Monday I sat on a bench (at Girlfriend’s school,) similar to this one, but I had the grass next to me instead of the dirt and sticks here and a young guy was cutting the lawn and it was quiet (aside from the lawnmower) and pretty and I felt like I was at home. The guy was nice, he felt bad asking me to move for a second so he could cut the grass next to me. If I was at my school I bet they would have just mowed right over my folders. Girlfriend got out of class after about an hour of me sitting on her campus and I got to see her for a few minutes, really the only other time I’ve seen her aside from the 20 minute car ride to school (which is two days a week keep in mind.) 

We used to hang out everyday. Senior year was the best because I got to see her during practically every period (1st, 2nd, 5th, 6th, 7th, 8th actually... that is a lot lol) and then we would hang out after school. Perk of your girlfriend not driving- you have an excuse to see her more often; she has to run errands, she needs a ride home, she needs a ride to, etc etc. 

The smell of funnel cake keeps distracting me. I don't think theres any funnel cake, it just smells fried and sweet because the cafeteria is behind me and I'm getting hungry for the first time this week.

Not seeing her is one of the shittiest parts of college so far. I really miss her. Her classes are super long, each one at least 2 hours long I believe, and even though our schools are less than a 10 minute walk from each other, I can't see her because when she gets out of class, I'm just going into class. I also hate not seeing any familiar faces. Yeah, you have to make friends blah blah blah, but its a shock going from my nice high school with students I’d gone to school with since middle school; some even elementary school to this. sounds privileged, in know... I don't know why it keeps surprising me as well seeing full on adults walking into classes. Good for them though. 

My next class starts in 40 minutes (at 11:00 and its 10:17) but I’ll probably head up in a few. It’s a 2 hour and 50 minute class and I didn't bring any of the 6 books we have to read because I already had my two English books and I didn't want to lug 8 novels around in my backpack, especially since we haven't needed any of our books on the first day. But then again, its a 3 hour class and I doubt we’ll get out that early. 

Ew it smells like kerosene... not my favorite smell by far. They're setting up lame tables and tents and “Week of Welcome” activities. Will I participate? no. Am I the cause of my misery and tears thus far? Mostly. 

I read up on all of my professors I could find on “rate my professor” and this next one seems super fun. He has like, 4.4/5 review and apparently he's hot. everyone said his class is easy too which is a bonus. The reviews weren't too wrong about my Comp 2 professor, they didn't speak too highly of her. Right now I'm not a fan. She comes to class 5 minutes before it begins and seems very disorganized. I really don't like that. My Psych teacher is an absolute loon, but I feel like thats to be expected from a community college psychology professor. No offense if thats what you want to be, or if your favorite professor (or family member) is one. Just my honest thoughts. 

The sun came out, thats nice. Eases my anxiety a little bit when its nice out. 

Jesus Christ (pardon my language if it offends you) Chris brown just started blaring out of the welcome week speakers. they're trying to make this shitty cheap ass campus a party. no thank you. “now everybody put your hands in the air. yeah yeah yeah.” its lit. sense the sarcasm.

Hopefully this class will be better and when I get home (1:50 can't come soon enough) the feeling of empty darkness inside of me that has lingered for the past 3 days will subside a little bit. I won't get my hopes up. I should start a tear jar, a warning to seniors.

WHEN I SAY I WANT TO SEE FAMILIAR FACES I DONT MEAN THE CRUSTY MEAN FUCKBOYS I WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WITH. I WANT TO SEE MY FRIENDS; OH WAIT, THEYRE ALL OVER ACHIEVERS AND NICE KIDS AND ARE AWAY AT SCHOOLS LIVING FUN LIVES AND BEING HAPPY, OR AT PRIVATE SCHOOLS RIGHT DOWN THE STREET BUSY DOING AMAZING ART. now its glamorous. good thing Fergie spells G-L-A-M-O-R-O-U-S because I don't think half of these kids can.

its been a while, its almost 5:30 now. my 3 hour class was boring as hell. he is not hot, nor young and he was 5 minutes late to class. you can hear him suck back his snot every few minutes and choke on it a little. but his class will be easy so thats great. I'm just questioning whether I need it or not. 

I haven't cried yet today, we’ll see how I feel later though. I miss Girlfriend. She’ll be home soon but I’ll bet you she’ll have to eat dinner as soon as she gets home, and then she’ll start her homework. nobody disrupts her art, not even me so I'll get to talk to her before bed for a few before I pass out at 10:00. It sucks because I was supposed to see Her Friday after my morning class ends, because she doesn't have class but then my new manager asked if I could come in. so instead of finally spending a day with her I'll be getting trained. my old manager is starting at the new store which is why I'm coming with him, but he has to get trained first, so really, its like starting a new job completely. I don't know why I decided it would be a good idea to switch jobs the first week of school. granted, there was no way in hell I would have stayed at my old job. I just should have waited until this first God awful week was over. but thats just my luck. 

Im always so tired now. I say always like its been a few weeks of school when really its been 4 days. mom asked if I wanted to go on a walk with the family, and of course I said no. “it’ll be good for your mental health” ahh I see, she can see me slowly slipping downhill again and wants to prevent it. well, I don't think a walk is going to make me feel much better about the fact that my school is dirty and the hallway I was in for my last class smelled horrible, which obviously worsened my mood, and the added fact that I'm starting a new job this week and don't know what I should wear. oh, and the other fact that I don't get to see my girlfriend anymore already and its only been 4 days. 

I had a bad feeling when She had her orientation and made her schedule. I new going to different schools would be horrible, but I didn't realize it would be like this. she's actually having fun and enjoying herself and making a few friends, and then theres me and I'm miserable and still have yet to speak to anyone really and she can't text in class when I'm out of class and I can't text in class when she's out. so thats great. I'm just waiting for the day she says someones flirting with her and she doesn't hate it. perks of dating a poly. I can't say no and deny her, especially when I'm not doing anything for her, or even seeing her, when someone else sees her almost every day. here come the watery eyes. plus, those kids are so much like her, they share her biggest passion. She always says she could never date someone who does what she does because it would be too much competition, but I feel like she's going to meet a photographer or videographer and it’ll be different enough to not impede on her talent, but it'll be similar enough that it’s great conversation and bonding. I'm just a jealous girlfriend, and college for us is looking to be the way I thought it would.

so, a summery for my future self who doesn't want to listen to this pity party:

Wednesday august 30, 2017. college sucks, I cry everyday, I hate my cheap dirty school and lame ass professors, I hardly see Girlfriend already, her experience is going great and I’m stressed af about starting a new job. countdown to the end of the semester-  74 days, 15 weeks, roughly 3.75 months, aka, too long to keep doing this shit. 

[everettwilkinson]

Tweets pour out as Trump returns to DC — INSIDE THE WEST WING: POLITICO, WaPo and NYT on WH intrigue — FIRST IN PLAYBOOK: Trump’s week — ANDREW KACZYNSKI’s wedding

FROM THE VATICAN at 7:30 this morning — @Pontifex: “I encourage everyone to engage in constructive forms of communication that reject prejudice towards others and foster hope and trust today.”

HE’S BACK!! — @realDonaldTrump at 8:10 a.m.: “Just returned from Europe. Trip was a great success for America. Hard work but big results!” … at 8:33 a.m.: “It is my opinion that many of the leaks coming out of the White House are fabricated lies made up by the #FakeNews media.” … at 8:34 a.m.: “Whenever you see the words ‘sources say’ in the fake news media, and they don’t mention names….” at 8:45 a.m.: “….it is very possible that those sources don’t exist but are made up by fake news writers. #FakeNews is the enemy!” … at 8:45 a.m.: “Does anyone notice how the Montana Congressional race was such a big deal to Dems & Fake News until the Republican won? V was poorly covered” … at10:43 a.m.: “British Prime Minister May was very angry that the info the U.K. gave to U.S. about Manchester was leaked. Gave me full details!”

Story Continued Below

— BY THE WAY … — Trump’s White House asks for permission to speak without attribution to reporters all the time. Also, just days ago, Trump said he wanted his administration to find the leakers. Now he’s saying that leaks “coming out of the White House” are fake. Which one is it?

— @anniekarni: “I’ve been told a factor in the lack of tweeting abroad overall was the presence of Melania Trump.” Note: Melania is supposed to move into the White House sometime next month.

**SUBSCRIBE to Playbook: http://politi.co/2lQswbh

A QUICK SUNDAY BEST — TRUMP “WIDE OPEN” ON PARIS ACCORDS — DEFENSE SECRETARY JAMES MATTIS to JOHN DICKERSON on CBS’ “FACE THE NATION” — DICKERSON: “Let me ask you about the Paris climate accords. The president is going to make a decision on those. Tell me about the national security role of climate change.” MATTIS:“You know, we’ve – we’ve obviously got a discussion going on about our policy in this regard. And I was sitting in on some of the discussions in Brussels, by the way, where climate change came up, and the president was open, he was curious about why others were in the position they were in – his counterparts in other nations – and I’m quite certain the president is wide open on this issue as he takes in the pros and cons of that accord.”

Good Sunday morning. JUST WONDERING…. Will President Trump head to his golf club in Virginia today to take in the final round of the Senior PGA Championship? We hear it’s a possibility.

FIRST IN PLAYBOOK — THE PRESIDENT’S WEEK — The only items listed on the president’s schedule so far are remarks at Arlington tomorrow for Memorial Day, meetings with Rex Tillerson and Vietnamese Prime Minister Nguyen Xuan Phuc on Wednesday and a travel day Thursday (Trump recently canceled a rally in Iowa, but the travel day still remains on his schedule). Lots of free time — as of now.

INSIDE THE WEST WING — Expect more rallies to try to jumpstart Trump’s legislative agenda. Expect more loyalists in the West Wing. Expect to see an effort to woo high-profile D.C. lawyers. BUT, BUT, BUT … — The old crew — people like Corey Lewandowski — were sidelined for a reason. Nationwide rallies do not always spark legislative action. Just ask Barack Obama how his rallies worked out for his legislative agenda. And big-time D.C. scandal lawyers will probably tell Trump to do all sorts of things he doesn’t want to do, like stop tweeting whatever comes to mind, dump some advisers and normalize White House operations.

WE HEAR — That the White House has told people on Capitol Hill that Jared Kushner is willing to cooperate extensively with any investigation.

SO MUCH AWESOME PALACE INTRIGUE … WHAT YOU NEED TO KNOW —

— ANNIE KARNI and JOSH DAWSEY with TARA PALMERI, “Russia scandal casts uncertainty over Kushner’s future role: Trump’s son-in-law, who’s long been above White House infighting, now has to defend his position in the West Wing”: “Internally at the White House, according to multiple sources, there is a feeling of resentment among people about Kushner’s special status as a family member, and a feeling that it’s about time for him to have a turn under the gun. There is also a sense of uncertainty about how long Kushner and Ivanka Trump – who associates say likes, but doesn’t love, Washington – are planning to stick it out. Some have noted that they rent their Kalorama mansion, which allows them to keep their options of moving back to Manhattan more open. …

“Two associates who have spoken to Kushner in recent weeks described him as ‘unhappy’ and ‘miserable,’ in part because he has not been able to make the changes he wants to under his father-in-law. Kushner, the source said, has recently seemed resigned to the fact that the internal dysfunction that has defined the first months of Trump’s administration is unlikely to pass. ‘He’s still trying to tell people it will improve but he seems like he was trying to convince himself,’ the source said.” http://politi.co/2qrU2d8

– WAPO A1, JOHN WAGNER, BOB COSTA and ASHLEY PARKER, “Trump considers major changes amid escalating Russia crisis” (print headline: “Trump may retool his staff”): “White House officials … are trying to find ways to revive Trump’s stalled policy agenda in Congress and to more broadly overhaul the way the White House communicates with the public. That includes proposals for more travel and campaign-style rallies nationwide so that Trump can speak directly to his supporters …

“[T]he beefed-up operation could include the return of some of Trump’s more combative campaign aides, including Corey Lewandowski, who was fired as campaign manager nearly a year ago, and David N. Bossie, who was deputy campaign manager and made his name in politics by investigating Bill and Hillary Clinton for two decades. Both men have been part of ongoing discussions about how to build a war room that have been led in part by chief strategist Stephen K. Bannon. …

“Other Trump players who have drifted from his orbit in recent months, such as Sam Nunberg, are also being courted to play more active roles, either officially joining the White House or in an outside capacity, working through confidants of the president. ‘Go to the mattresses,’ a line from the film ‘The Godfather’ about turning to tough mercenaries during troubled times, has circulated among Trump’s friends [The scene http://bit.ly/2qwn3nq] … Underscoring the uncertainty of what lies ahead, some Trump associates said there have been conversations about dispatching Priebus to serve as ambassador to Greece — his mother is of Greek descent — as a face-saving way to remove him from the White House. A White House spokeswoman strongly denied that possibility Saturday. …

“On Thursday, Donald Trump Jr., Eric Trump and Eric’s wife, Lara Trump,participated in a two-hour meeting at the RNC headquarters in Washington. … RNC spokesman Ryan Mahoney … said the RNC is increasing its efforts to bolster Trump. … At a recent breakfast in Washington with Ruddy, Lewandowski and Alexandra Preate, a close ally of Bannon, the trio discussed whether Lewandowski and Nunberg could put aside their differences to again rally behind Trump.” http://wapo.st/2r9qnH0

— NYT A1, MAGGIE HABERMAN, GLENN THRUSH and JULIE HIRSCHFELD DAVIS: “Trump Returns to Crisis Over Kushner as White House Tries to Contain It” (print headline: “President Faces Growing Crisis On Russia Ties”): “The White House canceled a presidential trip to Iowa in the coming days and was putting together a damage-control plan to expand the president’s legal team, reorganize his communications staff and wall off a scandal that has jeopardized his agenda and now threatens to engulf his family. Mr. Trump’s private legal team, led by his New York lawyer, Marc E. Kasowitz, was preparing to meet in Washington to face new questions about contacts between Mr. Kushner and representatives of President Vladimir V. Putin of Russia. Mr. Trump may meet with Mr. Kasowitz as early as Sunday, and aides have recruited a series of prominent Washington lawyers with experience in political investigations for Mr. Trump to interview in hopes that they might join the legal team.

“Mr. Kushner … has no plans to step down from his role as senior adviser or to reduce his duties, according to people close to him. Still, there are signs that he is tiring of the nonstop combat and the damage to his reputation. He has told friends that he and his wife, Ivanka Trump, have made no long-term commitment to remain by Mr. Trump’s side, saying they would review every six months whether to return to private life in New York. …

“The president, who has more than 30 million followers on Twitter, has been told by his lawyers to limit his posts. Each one, they argue privately, could be used as evidence in a legal case against him, and the president went through his entire overseas trip without posting a single incendiary message.

“Among those most adamant about limiting Mr. Trump’s access to the news media was Mr. Kushner, who has been critical internally of the White House press operation and has sought to marginalize Mr. Spicer, whom he views as too undisciplined to control the president’s message. Mr. Kushner has also favored creating a rapid-response team to counter reports like the ones that emerged on Friday.” http://nyti.ms/2r9pSwz

–WAPO A1, “A high-stakes gamble: How Jared Kushner reacted to previous crises,” by Michael Kranish and Jonathan O’Connell in New York. http://wapo.st/2r9j1Dy

****** A message from the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs (CAPD): One in two Americans rely on their employers for health care benefits including affordable access to prescription drugs. That’s why employers are partnering with PBMs to provide access to effective medications at the most affordable price and improve health outcomes. Learn more at www.affordableprescriptiondrugs.org. ******

WHAT PEOPLE IN THE KNOW ARE SAYING — The interesting — and unpredictable — element of the Jared saga is what happens when he has to testify on Capitol Hill. He’ll be put under oath, either in a private setting or public setting, and be forced to testify about his contacts with the Russians. One slip up could land him in hot water. ALSO: As we get closer to 2018 — and midterm elections — this chaotic environment will become less tenable for Republicans.

BULLETIN from AP at 9:25 a.m.: “BROOKHAVEN, Mississippi (AP) – Police say eight people are dead, including deputy sheriff, after shooting in Mississippi; suspect in custody.”

REAX AFTER THE G7 — Via AFP/Frankfurt am Main: “Europe ‘must take its fate into its own hands’ faced with a western alliance divided by Brexit and Donald Trump’s presidency, German Chancellor Angela Merkel said Sunday.

“‘The times in which we could completely depend on others are on the way out. I’ve experienced that in the last few days,’ Merkel told a crowd at an election rally in Munich, southern Germany. ‘We Europeans truly have to take our fate into our own hands,’ she added. While Germany and Europe would strive to remain on good terms with America and Britain, ‘we have to fight for our own destiny’, Merkel went on.” http://bit.ly/2rc7qWj

MORE SUNDAY BEST — CHUCK TODD speaks with DHS SECRETARY JOHN KELLY on NBC’S “MEET THE PRESS” — TODD: “Before I get to the stuff that is in your portfolio, I do want to ask about Jared Kushner, the Washington Post report, the president’s son-in-law, about this idea of setting up a backchannel communication while he was a private citizen before the president took the oath. Can you add much to this story and to what the White House has said?” KELLY: “I can’t. I know Jared. He’s a great guy, decent guy. His number one, number one interest, really, is the nation so you know there’s a lot of different ways to communicate, backchannel, publicly with other countries. I don’t see any big issue here relative to Jared. … I think any time you can open lines of communication with anyone, whether they’re good friends or not so good friends, is a smart thing to do.” …

— TODD: “Do you plan — you call — you believe it’s treason, to leak some of this stuff, you believe that’s treason?” KELLY: “I do believe it is. I believe when you leak the kind of information that seems to be routinely leaked – high, high level of classification — you are telling the –” TODD: “And what was leaked on this Manchester bombing you believe maybe even meets the treason standard?” KELLY: “I think it’s darn close to treason.”

CHRIS WALLACE also spoke with DHS SECRETARY JOHN KELLY on“FOX NEWS SUNDAY” (via Cristiano Lima) — “While not confirming reports that Kushner discussed with Russian officials how to create secret back channels of communication that escaped potential U.S. monitoring, Kelly said that any attempts to strengthen dialogue with Russia were a positive.

“‘I don’t know if it is true or not, I know it’s being reported in the press,’ Kelly said on ‘Fox News Sunday,’ before being told by anchor Chris Wallace that the network had confirmed that the discussion between Kushner and Russian officials had taken place. ‘I think that any channel of communication back or otherwise, with a country like Russia is a good thing,’ he said. ‘It doesn’t bother me.’”

— SCARY, from Mattis on CBS’s “Face the Nation”: DICKERSON: “Help people understand what a conflict with North Korea would be like and how it would be different?” MATTIS: “A conflict in North Korea, John, would be probably the worst kind of fighting in most people’s lifetimes. Why do I say this? The North Korean regime has hundreds of artillery cannons and rocket launchers within range of one of the most densely populated cities on earth, which is the capital of South Korea. We are working with the international community to deal with this issue. This regime is a threat to the region, to Japan, to South Korea. And in the event of war, they would bring danger to China and to Russia as well. But the bottom line is it would be a catastrophic war if this turns into a combat if we’re not able to resolve this situation through diplomatic means.”

MARTHA RADDATZ spoke to REP. ADAM SCHIFF (D-Calif.) on ABC’S “THIS WEEK” — Schiff on the Kushner-Russia back channel: “If these reports are accurate, right after that campaign, after that intervention, to have the president’s son-in-law, a key player within the Trump Organization trying to establish a back channel with the Russians through a Russian diplomatic facility, you have to ask, well, who are they hiding the conversations from? … I think we need to get to the bottom of these allegations. But I do think there ought to be a review of his security clearance to find out whether he was truthful, whether he was candid. If not then there’s no way he can maintain that kind of a clearance.”

DANA BASH talks to SEN. CORY BOOKER (D-N.J.) on CNN’S “STATE OF THE UNION” — BASH: “In the meantime, while there’s an investigation, should Jared Kushner’s security clearance be revoked or at least suspended?”BOOKER: “Well, again, I think we need to first get to the bottom of it. He needs to answer for what was happening at the time. It raises very serious concerns for me and that could be a potential outcome that I seek, but I want to understand, at least hear from, Jared Kushner as well as the administration about what was exactly going on there.” Flashback, 7/16/13 “Trump to host fundraiser for Booker” http://politi.co/2ruw5q3 (Ivanka and Jared bundled tens of thousands of dollars for Booker.)

THE JUICE …

— SPOTTED IN ASPEN: Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) yesterday in the hot tub at the St. Regis spa.

PHOTO DU JOUR: President Donald Trump shakes hands as he arrives to speak to U.S. military troops and their families at Naval Air Station Sigonella on May 27 in Sigonella, Italy. | Evan Vucci/AP Photo

COOL NEW FEATURE — “Inside Trump’s war on regulations: The push to block, rewrite and delay scores of Obama-era rules may be the administration’s biggest untold success,” by Andrew Restuccia and Nancy Cook with help from seven Politico Pro colleagues: “The president’s aides say the goal is ‘systemic’ change. … Trump is … setting bureaucratic wheels in motion that could eventually ax or revise hundreds of regulations as agencies reorient themselves toward unwinding red tape and granting speedier approvals to projects. … If successful, these efforts could represent the most far-reaching rollback of federal regulations since Ronald Reagan’s presidency, especially if Trump’s proposed budget cuts make it hard for a future Democratic president to reaccelerate the rule-making apparatus.” With an interactive look at the fate of regulations across industries http://politi.co/2qrQw2N

THE GRADUATION CIRCUIT — “Defense Secretary Mattis at West Point graduation: ‘We Americans are not made of cotton candy’” – AP via Army Times: “He spoke on a sun-drenched day at the military academy’s football stadium in New York’s Hudson Valley, but spoke of ‘storm clouds gathering’ around the world. ‘Our enemies are watching,’ he said. ‘By your commitment, you will prove the enemy wrong. Dead wrong.’ He drew loud cheers when he added: ‘We Americans are not made of cotton candy.’” http://bit.ly/2rL8gKa

BOMBSHELL — “New accuser sues Dennis Hastert, alleging sexual abuse,”by the Chicago Tribune’s Marwa Eltagouri: “Less than three months before Dennis Hastert’s scheduled release from prison, a new accuser has come forward with allegations saying he was sodomized by Hastert decades ago, according to a lawsuit filed in Kendall County on Friday. …

“The new accuser, referred to in the lawsuit as Illinois resident ‘Richard Doe,’ is seeking $50,000 in damages from Hastert and Yorkville Community Unit School District 115 for charges including battery, negligent infliction of emotional distress and intentional infliction of emotional distress.

“The accuser said that during the spring or summer of 1973 or 1974, he stopped by the Game Farm Building, now the Yorkville High School parking lot, to use the bathroom after riding his bike along Game Farm Road. He was 9 or 10 at the time, in fourth grade, the lawsuit alleges. The accuser entered the bathroom and, while sitting on the toilet in a stall, heard a male voice mutter something outside the stall door, according to the lawsuit. The stall door opened, and he alleges he was sodomized.” http://trib.in/2r9tsXK

REMEMBERING JIM BUNNING – David Cohen: “Jim Bunning, the only person ever elected both to the U.S. Senate and the Baseball Hall of Fame, died late Friday. He was 85 and, according to his family, died of complications from a stroke suffered last year. Bunning, a blunt, conservative Republican who spent a combined 24 years representing Kentucky in the House and Senate, weathered several close elections to earn his place in both institutions. Sometimes, his two professions seemed to go together perfectly.

“‘I have been booed by 60,000 fans at Yankee Stadium standing alone at the pitcher’s mound, so I have never really cared if I stood alone here in Congress as long as I stood by my beliefs and my values,’ he said in his farewell Senate speech in December 2010. ‘I have also thought that being able to throw a curve ball never was a bad skill for a politician to have.’” http://politi.co/2qw7rQW

— FLASHBACK, per C-SPAN: The moment on March 5, 1996, when then-Rep. Henry Hyde (R-Ill.) informed the House that their colleague Jim Bunning got into the Baseball Hall of Fame and gave him a standing ovation: http://cs.pn/2qoU2Pi (h/t Howard Mortman)

REMEMBERING GREGG ALLMAN — Atlanta Journal Constitution’s Melissa Ruggieri: “A seminal voice of Southern rock is gone. Gregg Allman, leader of The Allman Brothers Band, died Saturday at his home in Savannah from complications due to liver cancer. He was 69.

“‘It’s a sad passing,’ said Peter Conlon, president of Live Nation Atlanta, who knew and worked with Allman for decades. ‘It’s not only the end of Gregg Allman, but between him and Butch (Trucks) gone, the end of The Allman Brothers.’” http://on-ajc.com/2rL7tca … Some essential contemporary Allman Bros videos (compiled by Jake): http://bit.ly/2rLvlwd … http://bit.ly/2r9XR8g… http://bit.ly/2rbXxaU

****** A message from the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs (CAPD): As list prices for brand drugs continue to rise, employers are partnering with PBMs to keep drug costs under control. In fact, every dollar an employer invests in a PBM service returns six dollars in savings. Learn more at www.affordableprescriptiondrugs.org. ******

OBAMA ABROAD — “Close Personal Friends Prince Harry and Barack Obama Hung Out at Kensington Palace: The visit comes a little over a year since the Obamas’ last visit” — Vanity Fair: http://bit.ly/2rL8MrP … @David_Cameron: “Great to catch up with my good friend @BarackObama today.” Pic http://bit.ly/2r95An6

BONUS GREAT HOLIDAY WEEKEND READS, curated by Daniel Lippman:

–“Writer Evan Ratliff Tried to Vanish: Here’s What Happened” – November 2009 in Wired: “The premise is simple: I will try to vanish for a month and start over under a new identity. … Wired offered a $5,000 bounty — $3,000 of which would come out of my own pocket — to anyone who could locate me between August 15 and September 15, say the password ‘fluke,’ and take my picture.” http://bit.ly/2r8yiX0

–“The Advantage Of Being A Little Underemployed,” by Morgan Housel in Collaborative Fund: “Tell your boss you found a trick that will make you more creative and productive, and they ask what you’re waiting for. Tell them that your trick is taking a 90-minute walk in the middle of the day, and the answer will be no, you need to work. Another way to put this is that a lot of workers have thought jobs, without much time to think.” http://bit.ly/2r4ZiEV

–“How a Small Town Is Standing Up to Fracking,” by Justin Nobel in Rolling Stone: “Grant Township, Pennsylvania, population 741, has became the front line of a radical new environmental movement – and they’re not backing down.”http://rol.st/2qrKkXF

–“The ACLU’s Radical Plan to Fight Jeff Sessions,” by Ben Wofford in Politico Magazine: “I went canvassing with ex-convicts that are trying to make their case for criminal justice reform.” http://politi.co/2r4NT86

–“Andy Slavitt can’t stop: How a health care wonk became a rabble-rouser,”by Stat’s Eric Boodman: “From 2015 to early 2017, he had been the head of the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services, the government agency that administers President Obama’s Affordable Care Act and that provides health insurance for children, the elderly, the disabled, those on low incomes. … [Now he] has become one of the strongest voices in the fight against the dismantling of the Affordable Care Act.” http://bit.ly/2r1jx7W

–“U.S. Veterans Use Greek Tragedy to Tell Us About War,” by NYT’s Bruce Headlam: “The ancient Greeks didn’t go to the theater just to be entertained. Aristotle believed that audiences saw themselves reflected in tragic characters and that the very act of watching a character’s downfall helped purge them of emotions like pity and fear, a process he called catharsis or, roughly, ‘purification.’ More than 2,500 years later, a young classics major named Bryan Doerries … [started] a project he calls Theater of War, which has now staged more than 400 performances [of Sophocles] for veterans across the country.” http://nyti.ms/2rLeE46

–“Playing the Shell Game in the Mediterranean”: “Malta poses as a model member of the European Union, but it makes its living off of large European companies seeking to avoid higher tax rates back home. Der Spiegel went to the island nation to investigate, and found a lot of empty offices and empty words.” http://bit.ly/2r4VIKZ (h/t TheBrowser.com)

–“Kafka in Vegas,” by ProPublica’s Megan Rose, also published in Vanity Fair: “Fred Steese served more than 20 years in prison for the murder of a Vegas showman even though evidence in the prosecution’s files proved he didn’t do it. But when the truth came to light, he was offered a confounding deal known as an Alford plea. If he took it he could go free, but he’d remain a convicted killer.” http://bit.ly/2rYUaC6

–“Norman Lear: The Comedy Godfather of Television,” by Michael Paterniti in GQ: “Before TV was a thing (and before it was prefaced by words like ‘premium’ and ‘peak’), Norman Lear had been pushing the boundaries of the small screen for decades. The revolutionary writer and producer who tapped into the hot-to-the-touch culture wars of the ’70s with shows like All in the Family, The Jeffersons, and Sanford and Son, is back now, at 94 years young, and may just be the only one out there capable of explaining our times to us.” http://bit.ly/2rpFsag (h/t Longform.org)

–“There Aren’t Enough Slaughterhouses to Support the Farm-to-Table Economy,” by Deena Shanker in Bloomberg Businessweek: “Sellers of high-end pork, beef, and chicken agree: there simply aren’t enough facilities to humanely and safely kill their animals.” https://bloom.bg/2r6gWdd (h/t Longreads.com)

–“Dress Up: What We Lost in the Casual Revolution,” by G. Bruce Boyer in First Things – per ALDaily.com’s description: “It used to be simple: dark suit, white shirt, discreet tie, black oxfords. Then came ‘casual Fridays’ — and all we lost by dressing down…” http://bit.ly/2rHytta

–“Crushing on Crushers,” by Theodore Dalrymple in City Journal: “Why do intellectuals fall in love with dictators and totalitarians?” http://bit.ly/2rpIj35

–“For 40 Years, This Russian Family Was Cut Off From All Human Contact, Unaware of World War II,” by Mike Dash in Smithsonian Magazine: “In 1978, Soviet geologists prospecting in the wilds of Siberia discovered a family of six, lost in the taiga.” http://bit.ly/2rzCk8F

–“The Poisoned Generation,” by Vann R. Newkirk II in The Atlantic: “When the blood came back, [Casey] Billieson found out that both of her children were poisoned and likely had been for years. She called the lawyer who’d left his card with her. That phone call began a legal war of attrition that spanned more than two decades, three presidents, and one of the most devastating natural disasters in American history.” http://theatln.tc/2rYUsce

SPOTTED: Mika and Joe yesterday going for a run in Georgetown, on 33rd and N streets … John King yesterday at Nats Park on Star Wars day as the Nats beat the San Diego Padres, 3-0.

WEEKEND WEDDINGS – ANDREW KACZYNSKI, reporter at CNN’s KFile and a BuzzFeed alum, on Friday married RACHEL LOUISE ENSIGN, a banking reporter at the Wall Street Journal. Pool report: “It was decidedly non-scene! Lots of family and old friends … [celebrating a] wonderful evening at Prospect Park boathouse. The bride and groom were married by the groom’s older brother, Steve. There was a reading of a passage from ‘All the King’s Men’ and a reading of the poem ‘Ithaka.’ A live band played throughout the evening. … They met in intern group housing in D.C.” in 2010. Wedding pics by Jocelyn Voo of Everly Studios http://bit.ly/2rLkv9x … http://bit.ly/2qs2IAc … http://bit.ly/2rbVjIA … Pic of the KFile crew http://bit.ly/2qpq25O SPOTTED: Nathan McDermott, Christopher Massie, Kyle Blaine, Matt Dornic, McKay Coppins, Miriam Gottfried, Lindsay Gellman

OBAMA ALUMNI — “Eleanor Blume, Samuel Houshower” — N.Y. Times: “The bride and groom both received law degrees from the University of California, Berkeley, where they met. Ms. Blume, 31, is a special assistant attorney general in California, working on the executive team in San Francisco. She graduated from Wellesley College. … Mr. Houshower, 36, is a legal consultant in San Francisco for nonprofit organizations. From 2010 to 2016, he was an associate counsel to President Barack Obama. He graduated with an associate degree from Deep Springs College in California and with a bachelor’s degree from Harvard.” With pic http://nyti.ms/2sa1IS3

HILLARY ALUMNI — “Diana Padilla, Eduardo Cisneros”: “Mrs. Cisneros, 32, is the press secretary for Representative Raúl M. Grijalva, Democrat of Arizona. She graduated from California State University, Fullerton, and received a master’s degree in business management from EADA Business School in Barcelona, Spain. … Mr. Cisneros, 33, is a health care program coordinator for the Service Employees International Union in Washington. During the 2016 presidential campaign, he served as a national regional political director for Hillary for America in Brooklyn. He graduated from California State University, Long Beach, and received a master’s degree in public policy from the University of Chicago. … The couple met in 2013 at an inaugural ball given by the California Democratic Party in Washington.” http://nyti.ms/2qw063y

— “Coral Davenport, David Higgins”: “Ms. Davenport, 41, is a correspondent for The New York Times, covering energy and climate change policy from the newspaper’s Washington bureau. She graduated from Smith College. … The bride is the great-great-great maternal granddaughter of Matthew Fontaine Maury, the astronomer, meteorologist and oceanographer who is known as the Pathfinder of the Seas. Mr. Higgins, 39, is an intelligence analyst at the Energy Department in Washington, where he focuses on foreign nuclear weapons programs. He graduated magna cum laude from James Madison University and received a master’s degree in international affairs from Georgetown. … The couple met in 2005 at a party in Washington at a house from which Mr. Higgins had just moved out and which Ms. Davenport was about to move in. He helped her move in, carrying her boxes and assembling her Ikea furniture.” With pic http://nyti.ms/2qw0Wxp

–“Johanna Barr, Joseph Pikowski”: “The bride, 29, is a staff editor at The New York Times. She graduated cum laude from Skidmore College and received a master’s degree in journalism from Columbia. … The groom, 28, is a technical solutions manager in Manhattan at Criteo, a global advertising technology company, where he oversees clients’ digital advertising campaigns. He graduated cum laude from Tufts. … The couple met in 2008 during a study abroad program at the British American Drama Academy in London.” With pic http://nyti.ms/2ru6mxP

–“Allison Bernstein, Andrew Garin”: “The couple both graduated from Brown, magna cum laude. They met in 2005 as high school seniors while waiting for a flight to an event for prospective Brown students. The bride, 30, works in Providence, R.I., as the deputy communications director for Gov. Gina M. Raimondo. … The groom, 29, studies labor and public economics as a doctoral candidate at Harvard. … The groom’s father [Geoff Garin] is the president of Hart Research Associates, a strategic public opinion firm in Washington.” With pic http://nyti.ms/2r1fKaI

–“Alexandra Kennedy, Peter Haviland-Eduah”: “The bride, 29, works in Baltimore at Under Armour, the footwear and apparel company, where she is the chief of staff to the chief information officer and executive vice president for global operations. She graduated from Princeton. … The groom, 29, is a senior consultant in the Arlington, Va., office of Deloitte, the professional services firm; he works on projects contracted by the federal government. He is a former aide to Senator Kirsten Gillibrand, Democrat of New York. He graduated from Union College and received a master’s degree in public policy from the University of Michigan.” With pic http://nyti.ms/2rLmeM1

–Christopher Carofine, an SEC communications aide and a Hill GOP alum, on Saturday married Katherine Clubb, a teacher in Fairfax. The couple met in 2014 and Chris proposed on the banks of the Potomac in Old Town, one of their favorite spots and where they hold court most weekends. Their wedding was at Fort Belvoir Officers’ Club in Virginia. Pics http://bit.ly/2qvRPN8 … http://bit.ly/2qp3VfV

TRANSITIONS — Sam Frizell, who covered the 2016 campaign and was on the Hill for Time Magazine, has left the magazine and is headed to law school at Yale. … Vicki Ballagh, formerly a director at the Incite Agency, is joining Airbnb as the communications manager for the office of trust and risk management, an office led by Nick Shapiro, the global head of the office who is the former CIA deputy chief of staff. … John Weber has joined EMILY’s List as comms assistant. He formerly was a press intern for Senate Majority Leader Chuck Schumer and House Minority Leader Nancy Pelosi.

DEBORAH SPRIGGS, who spent “40 years, 1 month and 19 days” working for the House is retiring. “It has been an extraordinarily rewarding experience I will never forget. I have been so fortunate to have worked for so many great Members of Congress including the first female Speaker of the House and to work with so many talented and dedicated professional staff. It has truly been a privilege, working in a Member’s personal office, two exclusive Committees (Rules & Appropriations), Leadership and becoming Deputy Clerk; I could not have asked for a better career path.”

BIRTHDAYS: Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) is 46 … Katharine Weymouth, former Washington Post publisher and CEO … Rudy Giuliani is 74 … Pelosi alum Diane Dewhirst … Andy Stone, policy comms. manager at Facebook … Elisabeth Hasselbeck is 4-0 … BBC’s Tim Willcox is 54 … Dan Janison of Newsday … WSJ editor Carrie Melago … Ry Triplette of Franklin Square Group … Uber’s Josh Gold … former Rep. Aaron Schock (R-Ill.) is 36 … Rep. Steve King (R-Iowa) is 68 … Rep. Mark Sanford (R-S.C.) and former Rep. Scott Rigell (R-Va.) are both 57 … former Rep. Tom Petri (R-Wis.) is 77 … Lauren Mandelker … Graham Miller … Natalie Yezbick, press assistant for Sen. John Cornyn – her office celebrated with cake on Friday … Isabella Moschen … Politico’s Joseph Kennedy … Giulia Melucci, VP of PR at Harper’s … Coleen Jose … Tamara Draut, VP of policy and research for Demos and author of “Sleeping Giant” (hat tip: Kelley McCormick) … Jonathan Jones is 51 (h/t Pete Madigan) …

… Jessica Anderson, associate director at OMB, is 3-0, celebrating by having their budget out the door (hubby tip: Brandt Anderson, a great Chinook pilot) … Adam Collins, comms director for Mayor Rahm Emanuel, who celebrated by seeing the Cleveland Indians play the Kansas City Royals yesterday (pic http://bit.ly/2rL16pk), is 35 … Christopher Downing … Alan Khazei is 56 (h/ts Teresa Vilmain) … Julie Hershey Carr, a principal at Kountoupes Denham (h/t David Peluso) … David Lobl … Matthew Pritzker is 35 … Adam Daniel Pearl, son of Daniel Pearl, is 15 (h/ts Jewish Insider) … Jim Snyder … Andrea Wuebker … Texas Tribune editor in chief Emily Ramshaw … Jon Black … Harry Weinstein … Marty Kramer … Joe Paulsen … Ryan Graham … Christy Harvey Felling … Omid Memarian … Adelle Nazarian, politics and national security reporter at Breitbart and a Fox News alum … Tim Dowling is 32 … Ron Jacobi of Bryan Cave … Peter Cobus … Robert Walter Harleston is 58 … Carey Mulligan is 32 (h/t AP)

****** A message from the Coalition for Affordable Prescription Drugs (CAPD): One in two Americans rely on their employers to provide health care benefits. So, employers partner with PBMs to provide access to effective medications at the most affordable price. PBMs drive savings in part by using clinical expertise to identify generic alternatives that achieve the same health outcomes for a lower price. With generics accounting for 89 percent of prescriptions filled in 2015, but only 27 percent of drug costs, that represents a savings of $227 billion across the U.S. health care system in just one year. Learn more at www.affordableprescriptiondrugs.org. ******

SUBSCRIBE to the Playbook family: POLITICO Playbook http://politi.co/1M75UbX … New York Playbook http://politi.co/1ON8bqW …Florida Playbook http://politi.co/1OypFe9 … New Jersey Playbook http://politi.co/1HLKltF … Massachusetts Playbook http://politi.co/1Nhtq5v …Illinois Playbook http://politi.co/1N7u5sb … California Playbook http://politi.co/2bLvcPl … Brussels Playbook http://politi.co/1FZeLcw … All our political and policy tipsheets http://politi.co/1M75UbX

Source link

from CapitalistHQ.com http://capitalisthq.com/tweets-pour-out-as-trump-returns-to-dc-inside-the-west-wing-politico-wapo-and-nyt-on-wh-intrigue-first-in-playbook-trumps-week-andrew-kaczynskis-wedding/