#HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND NOBODY CARES
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Helloo!
Not sure if you have requests open, if not pls lmk.
I was wondering if I could request platonic Blade with a reader who has been with him since their childhood because reader lost their parents early (reader is around teen years) but got separated from him in a disaster and gets reunited with them many years later.
An: 👍 Love the concept! And sorry for it taking too long my motivation has been down the drain for the past month because work is just not working out for me.
THIS IS PLATONIC
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Will we ever meet again?(Platonic Blade x Reader)
It’s been so long since he’s since your face , even if it’s been years , even with the Mara clawing at the edges of his sanity and tearing the fragile frames of memories in his head , he could never forget you.
Not when he raised you when nobody else would .
Not when he held your hand when you got lost or uncomfortable, or when he let you squirm underneath the covers of his bed whenever you got nightmares.
When he had to take you to the battle field , he would rip off a piece of his coat and cover it over your eyes , while also seating you somewhere relatively far away from the battle , he wouldn’t bother with others , but at the time , the urge to keep you safe and secure was overwhelming.
When he lost you, he felt lost, just like in the beginning, when he was a mere shell with no soul inside . Taking care of you had brought out something inside of him that made him feel alive.
He sat in his quarters , staring at the wall, the Mara eating away at his mind at a quicker pace, causing Kafka to use her sprit whisper much more often.
He eventually got over you, but he still had that hole in his heart, weeping as he lost part of his soul.
So now , when he finally sees you again, it feels like a miracle, you’ve aged , but he hasn’t. He doesn’t know whether or not you remember him, but even if your appearances changed drastically, he would always recognize you.
He did raise you after all.
He sees the light in your eyes are gone now , and so was the innocence you used to have . It’s now replaced with a more natural and aged look , one that tells a story of sorrow and harshness.
Before he can slowly sink into his memories , your voice brings him out of it .
“ I- … Hello , blade …” Your timid voice and the new title you call him makes him surprised , he expected you to be a little bit for familiar with him , but he supposes it’s because it’s been years.
He stares at you for a little while , before his raspy voice catches your attention.
“Hello….. How… have you been doing?”
Even though his face remained indifferent, there was a tinge of uncertainty in his tone , almost as if he feared making you uncomfortable.
You’ll never forget how you kicked and screamed when he first picked you up.
A laugh was coaxed out of your throat because of that thought, making him raise an eyebrow .
You quickly wave your hands in front of you, thinking that it could disperse the confusion, “I’m not laughing at you! I promise really!”
He sighs , before raising a hand out of instinct and gently patting your head , making you freeze.
Both of you freeze actually.
One of out shock , the other out of fear of hurting you.
You look up at him before holding , gently place your hand over his and smiling at him.
“ Do you think… I can still call you my father?”
A small, rarely seen smile appears on his face, one that is familiar to you . His hand gently resumes running through your hair, the familiar sensation making you feel more comfortable around him.
With a gentle voice you remember, he says
” Yes, of course you can.”
#angst#honkai star rail#hsr#fluff#blade honkai star rail#blade hsr#blade x reader#blade x y/n#hsr blade#platonic relationships#platonic
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CSC pt. 2
taste me - @thedensworld
Can't friends taste each other? Seungcheol didn't know the answer. But he was certain that it'll be fair only if he could also taste you.
nom nom - @svtiddiess
After what seems like years of asking, your boyfriend has finally allowed you to bite his tiddies.
hit the books, hit the sheets - @hoshifighting
Where after weeks with your face buried inside of books on the brink of exhaustion, however, when the day of the exam arrives, your hard work pays off as you receive notice of an outstanding grade—an A+. Overwhelmed with pride and joy, Seungcheol decides to reward you for your dedication.
Seungcheol + mutual masturbation - @/hoshifighting
villain! cheol - @/hoshifighting
After facing constant rejection from your own boyfriend, you discover he’s a superhero flying around the city. Seungcheol, the so-called 'villain,' stepped in when you were left as bait, exposed to your boyfriend's enemies. It turns out, he's the one who truly took care of you.
gym rat roommate! cheol - @/hoshifighting
whenever we breathe ft. jww - @sluttywoozi
Weed always makes you a bit looselipped, especially around your two best friends, Wonwoo and Seungcheol.
(boy) friend material, pt. 2 - @/sluttywoozi
You'd think that, having matched with Seungcheol on a dating app, you would be, well, dating. You suppose you're lucky, but not that lucky.
black butterflies and deja vu -@ssentimentals
kiss a falling tear - @ssentimentals
kiss out of lust - @/ssentimentals
[20:08] - @hwanghyunjinenthusiast
cheeks are read like cherries in the spring - @scarletwinterxx
opposites - @gyubakeries
achilles' heel - @pochaccoups
after a knee surgery, your boyfriend feels off about his body. you’re determined to show him just how much you love it.
untitled - @woozivrse
[16:14] - @hannyoontify
untitled - @nonranghaes
untitled - @/nonranghaes
ex-conomics - @100vern
you supported seungcheol through years of being an aspiring athlete, and all you got to show for it was your undergraduate degree and an awkward, stuttered apology when he dumped you to go semi-pro. now he’s back after an injury derailed his career, and there’s only one problem: you’re the only one available to tutor him. you - 0; the universe - 1. talk about no return on investment.
rainy day with Seungcheol - @papajohnnyspizza
You and Seungcheol decide to spend a lazy morning together.
soft pillows, warm hugs - @babyleostuff
sleepy choi seungcheol means many things - dramatic, adorable, and very kissable
Seungcheol just needs a break from studying! - @cherrybr4t
remind me - @milfgyuu
You’ve had a little too much to drink at your sister’s wedding and can’t understand how or why Choi Seungcheol of all people is assigned to babysit you.
untitled - @etherealyoungk
coups fucking you against a wall - @love-strike
seen - @casuallyimagining
"you know that makes no sense, right?"
untitled - @wqnwoos
you are in love - @simpxxstan
[2:24am] - @soonyoungs
amnesia - @sailorrhansol / @sailorsoons
Choi Seungcheol has never been the type to commit to relationships - casual is more his thing. You’re fine with that - except you and Seungcheol seem to be terrible at casual when it comes to one another.
untitled - @seungcheorry
pov - @bookyeom
pov by ariana grande
i wanna love me the way that you love me for all of my pretty, and all of my ugly too i'd love to see me from your point of view cause nobody ever loved me like you do
when in Rome - @highvern
After months of no contact, Seungcheol isn't sure what to expect when he sees you again at Jeonghan's wedding. He's prepared to apologize, to grovel, to bear the weight of a cold shoulder. Whatever it takes to have you back, his best friend since diapers; or whatever will ensure the last third of your trio has the best day of his life. But when he overhears the most recent development in your relationship, he must come to terms with something he was never prepared for, or risk losing you for good.
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Recently completed Marahuyo Project after hearing it reccomended on @the-conversation-pod and found it such a lovely and empathetic look at multiple queer experiences.
But what really touched me was the depiction of Archie in the story. The story of being a "gay bully" has been discussed To Death, brought back to life, and discussed To Death Once Again. But it still holds a lot or merit for me, Archie is not simply a bystander the same way Ino is. He misgenders Venice, he berates both her and King, and even by the end he has to choose Against his own community.
But I found in his story something thats been missing in much queer media lately, something i also loved and appreciated about LITBC, and its that Archie was never under any delusion he would be accepted. He was never, both when he was openly friends with Christina and Venice and after Christinas passing, wondering if the reaction would be positive or negative. He knew and knows exactly the reaction, and he knows it will be worse for him than anyone else around, even Ino.
When ppl discuss life in the closet, especially in the context of BLs, its an internal struggle. Even when the reaction is negative, the first battle that the characters go through is mainly whether they can Handle whatever reaction they recieve. A major anxiety concern is the surprise of it all, the relief of having seen the reaction, whether it be positive or negative, is as important as what actually happens.
But Archie doesnt have that anxiety, the courage hes mustering isnt for somethong as grand as revealing himself. He is so suppressed by his environment that even the slightest diversion is enough to warrant suspicion and fear that keeps him strictly in line. King being actually assaulted is violent and terrifying, similar to when his mother cuts his hair. But nobody needs to do anything to Archie, hes choking himself and keeping himself in check.
Even when he admits it to himself that hes One Of Us while talking to Venice, it does nothing for him. In comparison to Inos declaration to King, Archies knowledge of himself is a well worn fact. One hes pored over again and again hoping to change, one he knows intimately and that wears him down from the inside. Archie is religious, he does believe and his fear is not just bred from a person seeking acceptance but a fear of retribution amplified by the loss of his friend. Religion and queerness are not irreconcilable to many, but whats hard go reconcile is the internal and external abuse held together to keep those with that experience in check. The isolation leads to a rejection of the self and an embracing of the communal, which is why queer Communities and friend groups are such vital foundational concepts. One person is not a community, and the show makes that explicitly clear through the contrast of his love and care for Venice and his community mindedness.
Venice is sure to remind him that coming out is not the only kind of courage, but both she and King are brave. They have that courage, but they also have love surrounding them. Lorie never had any real people to lose outside of Lili. Its telling that Ino is only really ready when his father is willing to be there. But Archie knows he will never have that, he believes his family because he cares about them and doesnt want to lose them, but he doesnt dream of changing their minds. He can try with all his might, but his circumstances will never change and thats a major part of his tragedy. His coming out will leave him isolated, if free, and is so reflective of an underdiscussed closet journey.
#theres more to say here#esp considering Community and the way it threads the fabric of all life in non individualistic cultures#marahuyo project#but i appreciated every single character so much#i was such a King in highschool LOL#and a Lili too
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#this was ment to be sad but then i remembered its a show made for kids so every shot out of context is just kinda silly#i have not stopped thinking about this show get me help#i havent watched it in like 9 years and for some reason it comes back now???#also i am the no.1 stanley pines supporter#HE HAS BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH AND NOBODY CARES#not even a thankyou from ford#I WAS PISSED AT THAT#who are you defending like this📃📃📃 STANLEY MF PINES#gravity falls#stan pines#grunkle stan#stanley pines#kate bush#army dreamers#this song makes me wanna scream#its so stan coded#Spotify
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Dark Secret
So! Danny was discovered pretty quickly after his first battle against the Lunch Lady. His hair turned white, and his body shape was a little different, but he largely looked very similar to his Human Form, so it was only a matter of time really.
Thankfully he was assumed to be a Metahuman.
He didn't look like any other Ghost, the closest resemblance was his hair and eye color, but even that could be explained away. Also his parents were adamant that he couldn't be a Ghost because he was still Sentient and not Evil, so he must just have powers that just looked similar to Ghost Powers esthetically. Probably as a result of the Portal Accident, which he used as an explanation for how his powers awakened.
Danny also avoided using the more obvious Ghost Powers like Intangiblity and Invisiblity, sticking mostly to the most basic Flight and Energy based Powers he got to be as generic as possible. If anybody saw otherwise, it was a trick of the light or a trick of the Ghosts.
Danny became the Hero of Amity Park, always pretending to be something else. It was his darkest secret.
Unfortunately because the public never saw a Ghost like Phantom on a positive light, their perception of Ghosts never changed. Nobody believed that Ghosts could be anything aside from Evil, and as the knowledge of Ghosts and the Ghost Zone began to spread around the world that perception became more and more commonplace.
If Danny had been revealed in the early days, it could have been salvageable, but nowadays if his secret was revealed he would have to convince the entire world that everything they knew about Ghosts was wrong. It would practically be impossible.
Even when he joined the Justice League when he became an Adult, he still had to hide his secret. Years of hiding made sure he could conceal his true Nature from the magic users on the team, but he still had to be distant from the team just to be sure.
While all this was going on in the Living Realm, his adventures in the Ghost Zone still happened as normal. He saved Pandora and the Acropolis, dethroned the Tyrant King Aragon, managed to defeat Pariah Dark in Single combat, and even became recognized as a Great Warrior by the Far Frozen.
After years of hiding, he actually felt more at home in the Ghost Zone than in the Human Realm. There he could be his true self without having to hide a huge part of his identity, and people accepted him for who he was. Sure he had enemies there, but he also had more real friends outside of Tucker and Sam.
He was content with his double life, acting as a Hero to the Public while hiding his true self, and secretly going to the Ghost Zone to be himself among his friends and even his enemies.
Of course it all came crashing down when he Anti Ecto Acts finally passed.
Now there was a Legal Path for Humans to enter and profit off of the Ghost Zone. Beyond just being able to legally kill and experiment on Ghosts, the Acts also allowed Humans to claim parts of the Ghost Zone as their own Property, enslaving the Ghosts residing there, and destroying the Ecosystem of the Zone because there were no laws preventing it.
And now Danny had a choice.
He could either side with the Humans to which he was a Hero, allowing them to destroy the Ghost Zone and Enslave the denizens living there with the full support of the Government, or he could side with the Ghost Zone, betraying Humanity and the people he had been protecting for years, but trying to save those who had accepted him for his true self years ago.
To him the answer was obvious.
#Dpxdc#Dp x dc#Dcxdp#Dc x dp#Danny Phantom#Dc#Dcu#I'm back#Kinda#This idea has been circulating in my Drafts for months but I finally got around the fleshing or out#Basically Danny pretends to be a Metahuman to the public while existing as a Ghost in secret#He loves going to the Ghost Zone to explore the Cultures that he is now a part of#The Anti Ecto Acts are bigger than in Canon#Originally they were rushed through because there was nobody to protect the people against the Ghosts#(They didn't consider Phantom as a Protector) (just another threat waiting to happen)#But with a “Real” Hero there to stop the Ghosts they took more time to work on the Acts and add even more horrible parts to it#The JL actually supports the Acts#Even JL Dark believes that Realms Ghosts are too dangerous to be allowed in the Human Realm#Though they think the Acts are a little much they don't really care because “Ghosts are evil/dangerous”#When Danny “betrays” Humanity to side with the Ghosts is comes as a Huge Shock#Despite having been distant many heroes thought of him as a friend#So this Betrayal actually gets to them#Its even worse when it's discovered that Danny was a Ghost as well#They rationalize that Danny must have been killed and become a Ghost recently and nobody noticed because of his Ecto-Contamination/Powers-#-making it hard to tell that he was different
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People really think trust issues are just "aww they're scared of love" and it's like bitch no. Trust issues as in I'm deeply in love and the issue is I'm waiting for you break my heart after undergoing periodic abuse in relationships. I'm not scared of love I'm scared of what you'll do with it.
#ahahahaha anyways. ranty time in the tags wheeee#paranoia has been terrible today. everyones mood is off. everyones acting different. everyones acting colder. they hate me im sure of it#and all this stuff i want to be happy i just know is gonna be ruined or left with tainted memories now and its my fault#but maybe its not because why the fuck cant you be consistent. why is it so touch and go#i support ppl through the worst parts of their lives and when i need the support nobody is there#i will literally take time off work to be with someone if theyre having a hard time but me? cant even afford more than three words#im sick of being told i love you and finding no proof outside empty words. i sure as hell dont feel fucking loved. everyone is lying#it's just like my ex. he smothered me in love to cover up the major lack of actually viable love#empty words make me sick to my stomach now. everyones a fucking liar and i dont get why the wont just tell me the truth!#if im such a burden then just fucking say it! if im horrible to be around tell me! how am i supposed to every grow if nobody tells me#i just wanna be loved and not unconditionally. i want to be loved by choice. i want someone to choose me despite everything#i want someone to love me to every little detail and hold my hand even when im at my lowest and just UNDERSTAND#i want someone to love me wholeheartedly and think about me as much i do them. i want the little gestures and the sweet things i do#but here i am. always the one carrying everything and putting in all the effort. when was the last time someone really liked me.#when was the last time i existed in someone elses head. when was the last time someone cared enough to check on me. to do something?#this savior mentality is gonna kill me but im only being straightforward when i say i cannot pull myself from this alone. i am so weak#and god im fucking tired#spent at least two hours straight sobbing while regressed because even as a kid i cant outrun this#and im just getting sicker. i cant sleep. cant eat. cant stay warm. feel like im slowly fading away#and nobody even cares. its so fucking selfish and childish but my whole life ive screamed for help and nobody has seen me#do i have to become another number in the statistics for you to care? or would you even care when i die?#because at this rate i dont even need to try. my heart hasn't slowed in three days. i think i really am dying#sad thoughts#vent blog#sad blogging#vent#vent post#venting#actually mentally ill#actually traumatized
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Of all the characters I could possibly hyperfixate on once getting back into guardians of the galaxy after watching vol.3, I had to go and choose the character who has been canonically dead in universe for at least over a decade!
#Groot#og Groot#MCU Groot#gotg#guardians of the galaxy#like Groot ii/swole groot is great#but I miss og Groot so much#plus I think he has a ton of unrealised potential in the comics#the writing for him peaked with the 2015 Groot limited series and then never again to be honest#he’s just been relegated to either being rockets friend or the guardians giant muscle for when they need to get rid of a crowd of enemies#the only time anyone seems to care about Groot is when he goes baby mode#also there’s grootfall I guess but I don’t think we’re allowed to talk about that…#the 2015 Groot comics did him so right by fleashing out his character/backstory#as this brave kind often times easily distracted yet still bright and emotionally intelligent being#who’s gained so much wisdom through wandering the universe and is able to see the good of everything#and was able to build a beutiful meaningful life for himself despite being rejected by his own kind#and dismissed by the rest of the universe as a mindless destructive monster#and having to grapple with the loneliness of nobody understanding him apart from a few friends he managed to form a close bond with#in spite of thier obvious differences#that was great!#….and then every gotg writer since just. didn’t do anything with at. at all.#and I have no fucking clue why#maybe it’s hard to write dialogue with us whole I Am Groot shtick or somthing? idk???#I just think Groot/og Groot deserves better ok
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Sometimes I think of Chicken Little from the movie Chicken Little and cry bc he's just a kid and he's all alone and his dad is ashamed of him and he lost his mother and he gets bullied and harassed bc he's small and kind of strange and he's the only person in the world that knows that the sky is falling and when he tries to tell people they don't believe him
#I WOULD HAVE BELIEVED HIM#ALL THAT PRESSURE ON THAT POOR LITTLE KID#AND THEN HE HAS TO SAVE THE WHOLE TOWN FROM THE ALIENS#THE ENTIRE TOWN THAT OSTRACIZED AND BULLIED HIM BTW#EVEN THE FUCKING MAYOR#LIKE ARE YOU SHITTING ME??#i wouldnt have done it#i would have just left them to get vaporized into the void#idk just after all that hes still so kind and he cares about everybody in that stupid town#AND THE SCENE WHERE HES LIKE BEGGING AND PLEADING WITH HIS FATHER TO JUST BELIEVE HIM#BC IF NOBODY ELSE HAS HIS BACK AT LEAST HIS DAD SHOULD#and he DIDNT#OH AND HIS DAD PURPOSELY SEPARATED HIMSELF FROM CHICKEN LITTLE BECAUSE HE WAS SO EMBARRASSED AND ASHAMED#IN FRONT OF EVERYBODY#idk chicken little makes me really sad#I KNOW THE DAD IS HAVING A HARD TIME I KNOW HES STILL GRIEVING HIS WIFE BUT OH MY GOD#YOUR SON NEEDS YOU. HE HAS NEEDED YOU AND YOU ARE JUST NOT THERE FOR HIM#i could have been a better parent#i could have done it i would have loved him the way he deserved#OH AND HE ONLY HAS LIKE THREE PEOPLE IN HIS LIFE THAT REALLY LOVE HIM COMPLETELY AND UNCONDITIONALLY#AND THEYRE ALL STRANGE AND OSTRACIZED JUST LIKE HE IS#the troupe of people that are othered finding each other. seeing their faults. and loving each other the way that they should be loved#will always EAT ME ALIVE#what was he. like 12?#if i had been in that movie i would have LOST IT if a kid that little had to go through and deal with all of the things that he had to#pretty much alone for most of the movie#i meam he had his three friends for half of it but theres a lot he had to do alone#i just watched it can you tell
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#so until hank’s cancer diagnosis I hadn’t been up to date with the vl*gbrothers in ages#(censored so it’s not in the tags)#and I have been Worried on account of Hank having a very very similar set of circumstances as my own#but he’s doing well (at least what he’s showing to us) and the relief after having confronted my own mortality has been unreal#I know 1 person who probably has similar enough experiences to understand but I haven’t unloaded on her#(if you’re reading this miss missy I AM LIVING THROUGH YOU STOP)#nobody else seemed to care much when I spoke about when it happened so I just haven’t brought it up to anyone again lmao#demi says something#but in the tags
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splitting at my fp so i had to block his entire sources tags and anything related to it but now half the content for this fandom is gonna poof cuz hes such a popular fan favourite but unfortunately the sight of hin makes me sick ! 😋😋😋
#need a talking tag ...#🫁#yeah that works#im just so . done . im so done !#' partner systems ' i dont care . i didnt want this . all you care about is the fact your little boytoy is in our system and he acted on a#whim to date you so the rest of us had to follow through on principle#i dont want this . im not happy . we arent compatible .#he never even leaves front and most of his headmates get on his nerves so hes almost always in front alone so we have to ask to see others#and then the visits are always just a few hours at most ...#meanwhile he acts like hes never gonna see his partner again when we cant have his bf in front for long without the body being exhausted#and we still let them front for up to a week at most cuz we know how much they love spending time together#they say we can ask for anyone but no ? we fucking cant ? its not that easy ? if it were that easy we wouldve fucking done so by now#im tired of trying to break up this collective partnership and just being told no in response#do my reasons not matter ? why are you begging me to stay when i want to leave so badly ? why do you care so much ?#idk call it a persecutor thing but i just want out . he and his bf can stay together we dont care . we can go back to just being friends and#having two annoyingly clingy alters that cant live without each other its fine thats fine#but let the rest of us go . we arent happy . the others were so hopeful for this once it started and now after a month they see things myway#and i didnt even have to yell at them to listen to me although i certainly fucking tried before this even happened#its rushed . its unstable . it doesnt matter how much you try because the damage has been done .#the way our systems work is just too different . we cant keep this up without hurting each other .#rip off the bandaid . let me go . or we wont be able to stay friends when you finally do .#ugh whatever . i talked too much i feel too human . nobodys even gonna see this so i feel even worse about it all#whatever . whatever . i dont care .#nobody listens to miasma anyway
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My experience with Hannibal so far:
Jeff the killer: kills people. Mutilates and eats them too.
Me: Yeah that's alright with me (skipping the eye gore tho)
Jeff the evil liar: evilly lies to someone about the cause of their psychosis
Me: I Am Not Okay With This
#i said this#chem watches Hannibal#okay i have a few theories#first of all my grandmother took a medication that made her hallucinate when i was a kid so i spent#a good amount of time considering the horror of not being able to identify reality#not as much as i spent considering the horror of forgetting or of deterioration but it was present in my psyche#(please keep in mind i was just a kid so a good part of what made this disconcerting to me is that i didnt understand it#and nor did it even seem possible to understand as 9 year olds generally get 0 exposure to info about these issues)#secondly the fact that its a dangerous brain problem#i think ive posted that my parents friend#JESUS CHRIST HIS LAST NAME WAS GRAHAM#anywyas he had epilepsy and died of a seizure when i was a kid#so someone living alone with that sort of problem... personally frightening to me#thirdly it could actually be the lying#every since the stuff with w*s went down ive gone back to being a very highly truth-valuing person#and there are also lots of awful stories abt medicial issues being neglected on tumblr#so the combination of those is v uncomfortable#also the betrayal like I KNOW he's an evil liar but this has been the first time it's doing actual harm to someone who cares about him#it could be even more personal than all that:#will KNOWS there's something wrong with him and he's RIGHT but he's being lied to and told there's no evidence#I've been going through it over the past few years figuring out that most of my mental health issues stem from my period#so i have shared a sense that There's Something Wrong With Me#so it's personally disturbing to imagine being lied to about that and let to rot#could also be that it's evidence that will really has nobody in his corner. except for Bev i guess. <3 bev#the idea that he's truly alone in the world and in a victim position like. hopeless.#also spent a good amount of time growing up thinking about situations so bleak there's no escape. so that kind of thing gets me but i was#always thinking more for a group or a side in a story so like. for one person is even more upsetting. darker than what i'm accustomed to#i could probably keep going i love theorizing#will graham: you won't like me when i'm pyschoanalyzed#me: people only like me when i'm psychoanalyzed
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I love TS2 but it has some really stupid mechanics built into it
#so i had this family that was just two teen girls right? and on like day 2 of them being in the neighbourhood a really cute stray dog#showed up at their doorstep. so i was like 'ADOPT HIM IMMEDIATELY'#only. only i didn't think about how they would both be going to college soon and they can't take their dog to college!!!!!#also i'm playing the prosperity challenge in this neighbourhood which means there is basically a lot of rules built in#like not being able to use 'combine households' except in college or when moving a graduate back into their ancestral home#and.. just lots of stuff really#basically the dog would've been taken away by the city once i sent the girls away to college#i was like okay. here are my options. i can keep one of them at home and she can have a breakdown about never having gotten to go to colleg#OR i can give the dog to somebody#and the second option seemed like it was going to work out perfectly because the girl who initially adopted the dog has a girlfriend#who lives in another house. so i was like 'that's perfect; he can go live there. her gf's dad can take care of the dog and then#after graduation they can both just move in with him and get married and the dog will be there too and all that'll have happened#is that he'll have swapped houses. it'll be basically like she's just giving the dog to her gf's dad to take care of while she's at school'#but i kept trying to hand the dog over and it wouldn't work. the 'give pet' mechanic just wasn't working#so i ended up giving the pet up for adoption and both the girls were crying and it was so much :(#i did have the gf adopt the pet using the pet adoption service and he cost £3100??? why#listen. i love this dog. i wouldn't have gone through all this if i didn't. but he's not worth all of that#he's well trained and everything and i think he's supposed to be a bulldog but he does pee in the house and try to fight wolves#i just was sooo baffled at the fact that the 'give pet' function apparently isn't free?? then why are there two separate options#for 'sell pet' and 'give pet'. 'give pet' should mean it's FREE#TAKE THE DOG#so i had to gut the gf's dad's house in order for him to afford this stupid animal. he literally has no windows. rip#i'm ngl i hate his house so i was going to rebuild it anyway but it didn't have to happen this way#i guess all's well that ends well. the dog is where i was intending to put him; the girls are in college; and nobody is bothered#i just felt bad that they cried while he was being taken away and that he spent like .5 seconds in a shelter#while i frantically deleted windows lol#personal
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Ok, the boss is no more! There were some super stressful moments but surprisingly we all survived o:
My animal companion got hit with disintegrate, but we had hero points to make him avoid it. I would cry actually, because disintegrate means no resurrection x_x
The war is prevented! At least this one, because Cayden's party is right at the center of a much bigger one just starting. Today we saved the country. Cayden is trying to not even save the whole world, just maybe slow the whole thing down and save as much people as possible...
#majek says shit#I have the diamond for a raise animal companion spell but it can only be used if you have a body and even then there are restrictions#and Kela wouldn't even know about it until after the fight because she got trapped between a wall of force and a stone golem?#or a stone Big Humanoid Fucker idk what that technically was but it would've killed me pretty fast#and it all was in an area of supernatural darkness emanating from the powergamer's character...#which interfered with so much of everyone else's actions and we even addressed it before the session that it's a bad idea to cast this#but its ok because HE will be able to see through it and HE won't be targeted easily:))))#he also almost ended the encounter in the first round of proper combat...#by using mechanics so outrageous but technically ambiguous enough that our GM can't deny them by using only RAW...#and he prefers to settle arguments by going as RAW as possible...#and it wasn't a problem until now when we have a player who exploits to an actually unbelievable extent#we shared our character sheets online yesterday and I finally saw his... still have no idea how the character works#because like half the stuff is custom and missing from the app#he has 9 AC in the app and allegedly 32 AC before buffs...#and the GM says the math checks out but 1. nobody saw that math besides him and 2. so far he trusted that player without too much questions#and only recently he actually realised he's been manipulated multiple times when me and some others started dismantling that players actions#I so hope this was the last session with that person#the worst thing is I think he's an ok guy when I'm not playing any kind of game with him#and I understand different people find enjoyment in different aspects of games - his being figuring out how far he can go with the rules#and there are whole groups of people who like to play like that and enjoy the challenge of making the most broken “build” possible#but the rest of the group are not that kind of people. maybe some like to have fun with researching what's possible#but it's never the purpose of the game and these things dont find their way into the actual game#I'm actually considering the possibility of just leaving the campaign if he stays there... I know I whine a lot in the tags#about different players that get on my nerves for various reasons. it sounds like I'm never happy about anything#but our group is big and we play together as a friend group in 4 different campaigns now (I'm in 3 of them)#and every one of these smaller groups has it's issues. sometimes it's the characters not matching and sometimes different expectations#or interpersonal stuff that can be worked out. this here is not a group composition issue because the powergaming attitude is everywhere#it's impossible to talk casually between sessions and confronting the guy leads to like actual temper tantrums#literally said “the fuck do I care if the party dies I'm not gonna be useful anymore” after the GM gave him feedback to maybe ease it up#he never says things like that when the gm or me are present but we still get info. he just can't be confronted by the gm like that
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is there any worse feeling than when you feel like someone is mad at you bc they literally are mad at you
#i came into the living room and my dad was yelling abt how he basically hates everyone in the whole family#bc nobody got around to reqding the latest chapter of his book yet#but he was really upset and mad#i get being hurt by that but it literally is not a personal rejection people are just busy idk#he didn't let on he was upset at all until he completely flipped out#now he doesn't want anyone to read it anymore#he's really hurt tho bc we all always read my mom's stuff#and my brother and i talk abt what we're writing together all the time#and i get there's a special kind of hoy sharing your writing with someone but only when they're really interested and engaged#unfortunately the two people most likely to care abt hia book are my two oldest brothers and they dont live w us#so they cant really give him that feedback#he did send hia chapters to them but they arent around to talk abt it and havent responded yet#basically nobody actually cares abt his book#he's been talking abt writing one for like ten years or more and only started in the past few months#its a zombie book and full of his really weird and controversial political and religious takes tho sp its a stressful read#i dont really agree w him on certain issues and we're ok abt it usually but it makes reading it more stressful#anyway#he's really upset tho#and he can only express unpleasant emotions through anger so i shut down and cant interact#and he specifically said he doesnt want people do do the thing he's so hurt that we didnt do#so there's no real way to set things right to alleviate my anxiety#he's a very difficult person to love with sometimes but he's really generous and has done a lot to help me#so i can live my dream and start a business and he's not really pressuring me abt my job seaech and rent and stuff#so it does make me feel guilty that i basically didn't care abt his book#it wouldnt be as bad if literally everyone in the family hadn't also done that#when he does to much for everyone#he's mad at everyone but im the only one having a panic attack and im the only one he didn't yell at#he's not handling his emotions well but neither do i so we usually just dont acknowledge things like this until everyone is over it#but i hate that i literally need conflict to be resolved immediately or i go insane
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Oh yeah sorry I forgot I was only here for you to USE ME I'll shut the fuck up
#maybe ill stfu forever#im in such a bad mindset rn and im being hella inconsiderate and im definitely splitting but y'know. for all the stress nosebleeds ive had-#-(8 at this point hooray!) itd be nice to see someone spill some blood for ME#warring with the logical side and the side that says EVERYONE USES THE SAME FUCKING EXCUSES BUT IF I MAKE THEM IM A BITCH#why the fuck should I show mercy when its never even been considered to be given to me?#why should i tolerate such BULLSHIT? I fight through hell and still make sure the people important to me are cared for#ive answered to phone seconds after dry heaving and rubbed of the tears when someone needs me and got up to BE THERE even when i felt bad#and not a single motherfucker can do that for me in return#its so fucking selfish but id rather run off and go live in a hill all alone than do this shit. theres no way its on purpose but holy fuck-#-does it feel like everyone uses my attatchments against me like they just KNOW I'd die before leaving#oh my god i miss him. he wouldnt do this to me. he would. he wouldn't#i did everything to make it work. let him do whatever he wanted. i do so much for everyone just like him and every time im left#like a dog thats been dumped when it started getting sick and the owners couldn't pat the vet bills#its not my fault theres a vermin in my brain. i didnt want it there i swear#ive tried to get it out but when i do i bleed all over you and you get mad. i try to get better but you dont like the process#nobody will stick around through the storm to see what comes after so whats the point when theres nothing to live for in the end?#idc what they say humans are social creatures we NEED others with us. before great big civilization being alone = death#we NEED people to care. we NEED someone to watch our back. its how humanity got this far#and by god i try my best to carry everyones weight but theres nobody here to carry mine#which is a fucking lie because there is. my mama is so great but its so ingrained now. opening up = punishment. i know she'd never hurt me#but the idea of being vulnerable is nauseating#i just wanna go to sleep for once feeling knowing and truly believing someone has my back. that someone will be here in the morning#but nobody would do that for me and i would never dare ask. i know im a heavier person than most. i cant expect anyone to carry me
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"If you keep staring at me like that, I'll have to ask you what are we?" Imagine being the witness of a serious crime, but the team thought you were involved somehow and needed to rule you out. Cue to big, scary, mysterious, masked Ghost trying to intimidate you by existing near you.
Soap snorts and pats Ghost on the back, which earns a glare from him, all after the man blinked confused. He had pretty eyes. Gaz moves to a corner to smile way too much, and Price sighs loudly.
After a few more minutes of explaining that you were just on your way to your shitty job and that they needed to wrap this up before you are to inevitably getting fired, Ghost still looks straight into your soul, now with more intensity somehow.
At this point, you grit your teeth. You might legit not have a job after this, since you're already half an hour late, and this (weirdly cute) fucker is trying to read your thoughts.
"Oh, you're really into me, aren't you?" He blinks seemingly uninterested and you raise a brow at him, starting a staring contest until Price (as he previously introduced himself) got in between you two.
"I don't think you understand the situation that you're in." It took all of your will to not groan like a child and roll your eyes at him.
Cue to another round of you doubling down and explaining that you're extremely lame but a good person, all while Gaz still looks you up.
"She might be telling the truth, boss." He whispered to Price in the corner of the abandoned shop they broke onto to have some privacy. The man has been trying to confirm your identity all this time, meanwhile you looked up at your number one fan to say "I told you so" and gave him an exasperated sigh when you already caught him intensely staring into your eyes.
"Seriously..." You mutter and you almost believe seeing a crinkle of amusement in his eyes. Your eyes almost twitched. "I pronounce us husband and wife." You say, rolling your eyes at him. Yeah, take that, fuck-face. You childishly thought, absolutely thriving at his slow, surprised blink. Soap cackled and tried to hide it with a cough.
Long story (not) short, you were indeed let go after Gaz confirmed you're broke, lame and basic. No secret villain or anything. After they kinda apologized, Price basically tried to gaslight you into thinking everything is fine then tried to dip his toes into mansplaining the importance of greater things beyond you, he nodded to himself and patted you on the back before barking an order to his soldiers to move. Pretty brown eyes stayed glued onto your soul until you were pretty much skipping away out of sight, rushing to your job incredibly annoyed.
You couldn't really explain your absence to your boss and he didn't care much either, he told you to get to work.
Surprise, surprise, though, because at the end of your shift, he sugarly informed you that you're fired. He gave you the pay he owed you and there you were. Jobless. And probably homeless in a month's time.
A week later and some intense job hunting done, you're at your wit's end, truly. Job market is shit and nobody is looking to hire. As you enter your ratty apartment, you sigh and almost want to cry in frustration. You've been cursing the terrorists, soldiers and any motherfucker involved in last week's incident, entering your kitchen to grab a drink and eat some air since you needed to save money, when you froze in place.
In the middle of your tiny living room stood a massive dark frame, the outside lights shining through the balcony door behind him made the man unrecognizable. You were getting robbed. You just caught a dude right in the middle of robbing you. As if it was the cherry on top, every frustration you felt erupted out of you, and while you were still terrified by the massive frame, you growled a "Get the fuck out of my house."
A deep chuckle was your only response and you felt dread.
"You got spunk. And a shit survival instinct." He stepped closer. You stepped back immediately, calculating your route to the door, hoping he wouldn't be able to catch you. Denial. You knew. But you froze again in surprise. You knew that mask.
"What the fuck are you doing in my house?" It came more of a whisper, thinking you'd never meet those people again. Even standing up in front of him, he's massive. Maybe he came back for those dumbass comments you made. Oh, this is revenge, isn't it? He's built, he can legit destroy you with a punch. Oh, God, you're fucking dead. They still think you're a terrorist or some shit and he's here to destroy you out of existence.
Your mind rambled until he moved, and when he did, you tensed, mind blank. The man, the Ghost took a couple of steps towards you and placed his large hand on the back of your neck, pulling you close. Oh, you're gonna fucking die for sure. He leaned down to your eye level, making you stare into his dark eyes as he studied you.
"Came back to take care of my wife." He said. It was your turn to slowly blink at him. What?
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