#HE CAN FIX ME (wrong) I BELIEVE HE CAN CHANGE MY LIFE (for the worst)

[cott0ntailed]

𝖎𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖉𝖊𝖆𝖉 𝖔𝖋 𝖓𝖎𝖌𝖍𝖙

vampire! simon “ghost” riley x reader

word count: 708 (?)

cw: weird vampire behavior, mentions of blood, stabbing, and death

description: simon has been alone for the majority of his considerable time on this earth. throughout his miserable existence he has tasted happiness, only for it to get ripped out of his hands. this world is cruel and no one knows that better than simon riley. he lost his light in the all consuming darkness of immortal life, you. years have passed and the pain of losing you has never left, causing him to hide himself away for the rest of his days. however, now that he’s found you once more he’s never letting you go again, no matter what he has to do.

(and yes i was listening to orville peck when writing this)

It starts the same way every night.

A dull, aching pain behind your eyes and a fever you can never seem to sweat out. Soon begin the chills and finally, worst of all, the visions. Maybe nightmares? You don’t know what to call them honestly. And you can’t even begin to describe them, let alone to a medical professional. How could you describe to your doctor that you’ve been seeing what you think to be your partner from a previous life? Or the fact that in every single dream, you die. No matter how much you try to fight it, no matter what you do to try and prevent the inevitable outcome of this waking nightmare, the ending is always the same.

It’s happening again.

All you feel at the beginning is the frigid air of the room you’ve begun to dread seeing. Almost as if all your warmth is leaving you, rather quickly it seems. Observing your surroundings, you recognize the familiar architecture. It appears that you are in a cathedral, or at the very least a church of some kind. A beautiful one at that. Stained glass windows line the walls, delicate filigree all along the pews. Wrenching your head backward, you see the altar. Nothing has changed about it, though you’ve come to despise it. At the altar stands a man. You never get to see his face, except for the revolting curl of his lips as he takes pleasure in what he’s currently watching. This is where it always goes wrong.

You feel the sharpness then. A blinding pain you had never felt until this affliction first began. Despite the fuzziness that surrounds these nightmares, you feel yourself gaze at your abdomen. There it is. The same as last night, and the same as the night before that. A dagger. Adorned with jewels current day you could only hope of owning. It doesn’t matter how beautiful it is, however, the dagger has sliced right through you, cutting this life short. You go to move but are stopped by two pallid hands. They’re always so cold, freezing you to the core. This always piques your interest, but you never have time to dwell on it. You go to talk but are stopped by the man. You could never decipher what he was saying, but tonight you heard him.

“Please don’t do this to me, my love,” the man sobbed, “I can fix this, just let me fix this, please! All you have to do is say yes and we can go back to how it used to be. How it was supposed to be.”

All you taste is blood and before you can ask the strange man what he means by his cryptic statement, the dream fades to black.

Gasping awake, you see him. Just like every other night. Paralyzed in your bed, while he’s standing at the foot of your bed, simply watching. Silent as always, eerily so. Almost as if he isn’t even breathing, just observing. Eyes never wondering. He tells you his name is Simon. You can’t find it in yourself to believe him.

A gust of wind comes through the window you opened earlier in the night. Through your billowing curtains, a glint of moonlight illuminates him. The man’s crimson eyes trail down your shaking form. You cannot help but wonder if he is the one who is causing you all of this pain. If the symptoms are an effect of being near him or if he is intentionally harming you. However before you can continue this train of thought, he speaks.

“I’ve been waiting for you,” and finally he breathes in, filling his large chest with oxygen. “Waiting for you to finally realize,” he sighs.

You lay frozen in terror, unable to formulate a response to this hulking man standing at the foot of your bed. Realize what? That there has been a man stalking you and breaking into your home at night? He opens his mouth to speak once more.

“I’ve been biding my time, searching for you. Waiting for you.”

Licking his teeth, “Now that I’ve found you, I won’t make the same mistakes, love.” And with a sense of finality he says, “I haven’t forgotten that you’re mine, and I won’t let you forget either.”

dividers: @cafekitsune

[inspirationalucky]

"THE MORTUARY ASSISTANT" PROMPTS & STARTERS. demonic possession & hauntings. adjust as needed!

"i need help! someone's outside!"

"just try to stay calm. i know you're scared."

"this is very sudden, but listen to me. we have to start right away."

"i'm sorry, i didn't know until it made itself known this morning."

"i didn't know that it was here... let alone bound to you."

"i had no way of knowing the possession had started."

"you need to take this seriously. you need to act quickly."

"you can't leave, [name]! i can't allow that for you... or for others."

"so we stay calm... ok?"

"treat it like a normal day. staying focused will help."

"you don't have to believe me, but i hope you do before it's too late."

"the only way to save yourself is to banish the demon before you're too far gone."

"you'll need to learn the demon's name, bind it to it's chosen body, and burn it in the retort."

"i know this is a lot to take in."

"i had years to learn what i know. you have hours."

"you can't trust the phones. anything can be manipulated."

"good luck, [name]. i'm sorry this had to happen."

"yeah, screw all of... whatever this is."

"to banish a demon to hell, it must be bound to its chosen body and burned."

"you're just seeing things."

"i'm just seeing things... i need to get back to work, it's fine."

"it's my fucking fault!"

"don't really have a choice... i'm stuck here... fuck."

"you did this to me... it's all your fault."

"why are you still doing this?"

"i'm going to kill you, [name]."

"why did you let me die? this is all your fault."

"i regret every second with you."

"time is running out, [name]."

"hate me all you want. he's dead because of you."

"you should be the one here. lifeless... worthless... you're a waste of this body."

"you're wasting this body... give it to me."

"i should be killed on sight."

"this should banish the demon."

"my coming shall herald glorious sorrow."

"i will claim the flesh of man for my own."

"i need you to let me in, sweety."

"don't you love your grandma?"

"it's so cold out here... i'd love to come in... let me in, [name]!"

"let me in you little bitch!"

"i just want to visit you. don't you miss me?"

"awww, what's wrong [name]? don't be afraid of your [relation]!"

"i knew you'd find me... i'm all alone and scared."

"i'm fucking scared! didn't you hear me?"

"help. me. get me the fuck out of here!"

"oh, look at this... who are you now?"

"who could do this to someone? i think you should let me out."

"you'll be here soon."

"ok baby don't worry... it's ok, it's ok. i'll get you out of here."

"no, no, i'm not going!"

"get me out of here, they're gonna kill me!"

"come back! let me out!"

"where am i? what happened? let me go!"

"i'm sorry, this is the only way."

"seriously, [name], why are you hiding? don't be scared."

"let me out you little shit! you'll fucking burn!"

"you can never fix what you've done! see you soon."

"it's nice not to be the one down there for a change."

"did i make it? is it over?"

"it's never really over."

"oh, i've just been waiting... for so, so long."

"[name] isn't here, you fucking idiot!"

"here i am, you worthless old shit! here i am!"

"it's never over, but you survived."

"can i leave? i want to go home."

"you can leave. but once an entity finds you, all the houses of hell will do anything to get back to you."

"i'm sorry, but it doesn't end here."

"from now on, there's always a chance this will happen again, no matter where you are."

"i don't want this! i just want to leave! what do i do?"

"i'm sorry, but there's no going back."

"so, what? you're waging some selfless holy war?"

"it's not a war. it's survival. and i'd hardly call it selfless."

"i wish i could claim to be someone better, suffering hell to save us all."

"i simply want to live another day, just like anyone else."

"i could run and live the rest of my days in fear, or i could learn to face it and keep some semblance of a normal life."

"i don't know what you experienced, but i know it uses the worst parts of you against yourself."

"the more you experience, the more you'll confront the darkest parts of your life."

"i'm offering the tools to take control. the choice is yours. i hope you come back."

"what you've been doing is monstrous!"

"i've said already that i've had to accept everything about myself. just like you do. this is a necessary evil."

"she's down there right now, just suffering for no reason!"

"[name] is not down there! not anymore, she's been gone for years."

"you want to have a chance at life!? it comes at a cost. this cost!"

"you have to make a choice just like i did."

"i've seen many experience what you did. none have survived."

"i've watched them degrade and suffer until they're no longer themselves."

[nikalaeva]

Feyre's Imaginary freedom and Wrong way Evolution

It will be a long speech, get ready 😅

I remember how Feyrе dreaming that her sisters would get married and she would stay with father and paint. It's pathetic dream, actually, but considering Feyre spent most of her life in poverty, it's more or less valid, 'cause she just couldn't imagine anything more. And if you forget that SJM made Feyre a hunter 'cause it's "cool", then I understand why Feyre chose hunting. She had options other than marriage: learn her father's work, get a job in some workshop (sewing, weaving, pottery), or, at worst, become a thief. But Feyre chose hunting, probably, 'cause it gave her a sense of control over her life. More than other options could give.

This brings us to the topic - Feyre's need for freedom. For her, freedom equals power, and this is logical - no one decides what is best for her life and future, only she is. When I read ACOTAR, I didn't see this. SJM just wrote that Feyre hunts to feed her family. But if you keep in mind that everything Feyre does is motivated by a desperate need to control her life, then her actions doesn't seem so idiotic. You would understand that for Feyre enduring the company of her family seems to be worse than freezing to death in forest. You would feel that being imprisoned in UTM and isolated by Tamlin hit Feyre harder than trials or anything else. You would believe that this is a girl who would rather die free than live in chains.

This is a post about Feyre, so I won't write much about Rhysand. But if Feyre herself had said that sitting in a cage for her (I emphasize - for her, not for reader) was worse than dancing naked for Rhysand, It would be a little easier for me believe in ACOMAF. "A little" better than nothing.

But the need for freedom alone is not enough. Eventually, there has to be a limit where Feyre will think: "I guess I can endure a little bit of captivity 'cause I don't wanna die such stupidly." So, in my opinion, good option would be to give Feyre an adrenaline addiction. For example, if you're a fan of Doctor Who, you've probably asked yourself why the Doctor's companions, despite the fatal dangers of traveling, still return to him. From my own experience I can say this: I worked in an ambulance and afterwards it was hard for me get used to another job. I missed unpredictability and thrills. Maybe people who love extreme sports will also understand these feelings. So, if we add Feyre's need for freedom to her adrenaline addiction, it becomes easier to understand why she constantly gets into trouble. Even if she understands that she can get hurt or die, it doesn't stop her 'cause of these weird, kinky sensations. Moreover, having become a fairy with magical abilities, Feyre could afford to take even more risks. By the way, adrenaline intensifies all the senses, while fairy wine depresses. Feyre could seek danger just to forget how wine made her helpless.

Or SJM could have written that all fairies have a strong need for cruelty, cheating or lying (she made them capable of lying - use it! 😡). That would explain why Illyrians constantly train, why in the CoN most (but not all, that's bullshit) fairies are assholes, why civilized fairies actively use sex and drink - these are substitutes so as not to harm others. Hell, it would explain Tamlin's outbursts of rage - he was fighting his nature but not drinking or fucking like crazy. And EVEN Rhysand's behavior - Amaranta turned him into a junkie, getting him high on violence and cruelty. So Rhysand knew he was tormenting Feyre, but the 50-year addiction was too strong. And not the crap that he (or rather the author) told me in ACOMAF.

Sorry, I'm got off topic. So now Feyre's story with the changes you read above is a tragedy. She's trapped in Velaris with IC, with Rhysand. In ACOSF, she's literally trapped in a magical bubble. It's sad and disgusting. But even that could be fixed if Feyre had healed in the ACOMAF and ACOWAR and decided that she wanted a quiet life, not dangers and adventures. The sisters' transformation into fairies and war with Hybern could have changed her like that.

If SJM had written that Rhysand actually gave her freedom, unlike Tamlin, and helped her understand that freedom ≠ throwing herself into danger, then I would have believed that he loved and cared for Feyre. He could helped her love the feeling of safety and peace. Feyre could understand how to get along with her sisters through Rhysand's relationships with Cassian and Azriel. And she could helped him overcome the addiction for violence that Amarantha had forced upon him. In that case, sex literally would be a cure, not just "spice."

But none of that was in the books. Other characters change at the snap of SJM's fingers too, but I'm talking about Feyre 'cause we spend three books in her head. She doing what the plot demands with such poor explanations that reader's brain explodes, trying understand her.

I don't hate Feyre. I hate that SJM has turned her character and story into hopeless trash. And the fans, whose brains have obviously melted from this shit, convince me that everything is okay.

[apples4uce]

i would like to share some thoughts about scout and his childhood trauma from friend's dms. might delete that later but i thought that those were pretty good analysis even though this might be so obvious for everyone and I'm just inventing a wheel.

I don't think scout's mom could be either a bad or a good person, it's a both side issue. Yes, she could well have children from each marriage to keep it together, or she could not cope with postpartum depression and stopped caring about all of her saplings properly. Yes, I don't like it when she is made the ultimate good character, no matter how many children she has produced and how much of a glass child trauma has been left on her youngest son lol

Ma is more like the parent who seemed to be trying to give you the best, but even after going through all the difficulties together, you still respect her, love even, but you don't feel like you deserve to go through this, but as if your personal beef with this has already become invalid, because so many years have passed, you are now an adult and your feelings are your responsibility. And mom has changed and now you won't be able to hang any of your grievances on her, even if you really want at least a little validation of the fact that everything that fell on your shoulders in the past - should have never meant to be.

For a very long time I racked my brains over the question of the relationship between scout and spy, for a long time I was angry that the community was too much fixated on tenderness and happy endings, trying to fix them. And I am still a little indignant, but through watching these media, I finally understood why it is how it is, but, of course, most likely this is only my vision.

looking intito the scout's trauma, the fact of lack of the comfort and being in an atmosphere where you have to completely disappear so as not to disturb anyone (which is exactly what it was judging by the voicelines) I believe that even if he was betrayed by both parents, he is still like a blind kitten poking anywhere, just to find at least somewhere warm, because there is NOWHERE else. No one has a place for him, so he not only appreciates any manifestation of positive attention to himself, but also looks for a place for himself in someone's life, no matter for how long. Even a quick sense of security is what he grasps at like homeless grasping at a piece of bread. This can be phrased as "there are little to no options, so he is ready to return even to his worst enemy" and instead of aggressively rejecting, he passively accepts (because he does not want to seem completely helpless). With this in mind, artworks with spydad spikes some conflicting feelings in me.

Therefore, I believe that artists and ficwriters when trying to make up for their sick paraphilias, make him quite malleable - they're not really wrong. I singled out that he most likely has a relationship model "yesterday we fought, today we behave as if nothing happened, because no one will apologize to me and I don't want to stop being loved or scolded if I bring this topic again". So this can lead to him constantly pushing his boundaries little by little just to please somebody who's close to him; acting as if it's his own decision to push himself, but in reality just being manipulated (model that i often see among blunt trauma gang)

I also think he might have depressive episodes, that gets triggered occasionally, but it just combines with ADHD to not let him ROT. let me know what you think about this one cause I'm not really sure.

okay thanks for reading, bye

[aquiescentmoon]

I was born in spring, where flowers, bees and every crow you see has a twig in their beak, you didn't even realise for these 10 years, you didn't look up at the sky and look for the brightest sun but chasing the shadows at your footsteps. Last year, when you got me a scrapbook of flowers you saw on the sidewalk, you said, 'I just realised you were born in spring'. I left you, ten days after that birthday. No closure, No last fight, just plain breakup text of 'This is over' you begged me to take your call, you wanted me to hear you out once, saying all over again, 'This was my fault, I can fix this, don't leave me, I say spiky words like my dad, it's not my fault that I got his genes and I behave like him, I can't change that but believe me, this will be the last time, if you gonna leave me what about, what we built for 10yrs, it's something no one can do, what we have ourselves is us, you said, you will love forever yet you abandon me now, where will I find someone like you. You aren't giving me the opportunity to grieve over at the wake of our relationship'. A wake? Where were you, when our relationship was bleeding dry with a million paper cuts? After a few days, you sent me the last message, 'If that's your conclusion, I'm okay with it, I'm always here for you to come back and I love you no matter what my feelings towards you never change, I'm sorry if that I've hurt you, you've shown me what love is and I'm always greatful for you my whole life, Still remember that I would blindly do anything you say, you are my first love, take care'. Textbook goodbye with lots of emojis, You can love me better when I want to leave? Even after all this, finally when I am about to move on from you, your dad comes to talk to my dad on your birthday, urging to reconcile us both, my dad didn't have a f*cking clue what your dad was talking about, he doesn't. I don't talk to my dad. I don't tell my heartbreaks, as he was the one who gave me the first hand experience. Your Dad, maybe, you were crying or he wanted to be the best dad - who wants to give you his child, the best birthday present, 'to get your best friend back'. But I had the worst panic attack in my whole life, when my dad told me about this. I kept thinking, 'maybe what I did was wrong or I shouldn't have left someone whom I know for 10yrs or you said to take care in your last text, but this wasn't it or why my heart yearns you, when my nervous system hates you or you seemed fine, last time, I checked your insta, enjoying the best of life, also you easily forgot things, memories, ppl, even me, this is all new or am I a sinner now?' But as a best friend, I still want to share this advice with you, if you want to forget me (I know, you already did but still for my own guilt) playing Tetris really helped me to move from this self-loathing loop. Now, I am guilt free, no matter who throws your name out casually, I can handle myself without crying. I ran multiple scenarios in my head about what to do, if I met you accidentally on a busy street or at the mall or at Trader's joes, no matter, how many times, I got the same outcome, I would just faint from a panic attack. Isn't it odd? when I was the one who left you, but you are doing fine, I would crash out. Till now, we never met anywhere despite living in the same neighborhood, I hope that someday, when I am healed from all my papercuts, I will say (our inside joke), 'Thank you for the heartbreak, I needed for my art'

[ethicaltreatmentofcowplants]

simply lilac outtakes: lilac & minta

(set before the second strawberry ceremony - this would have occurred off-screen)

LILAC: Hey, so Ezekiel said I’d find you up here - oh. Talk to me.

ARAMINTA: It’s nothing, really.

LILAC: It’s clearly something. What’s up - did Dodo only recite love poetry to you twice this morning?

ARAMINTA: Today is your day.

LILAC: It is my day - and I’m choosing to make it about you at this moment. So tell me.

ARAMINTA: Hosting this - it is a privilege and I love seeing how the contestants grow - but it also makes me think back to the island, and of all the other people Dodo could have potentially been happy with instead of me.

LILAC: Wait - whoa. Have you not seen the two of you together?

ARAMINTA: I have. And all of this feels so unfair since when it’s just the two of us, he makes me feel like I’m the only other person in the world. It’s nothing that he’s done. It’s just me - all me. And I see you with contestants and I think “oh, they could be cute, but then they also could be cute” - what if everyone else is thinking that Dodo made the wrong choice?

LILAC: Then plum everyone else.

ARAMINTA: What if he has made the wrong choice? For him, I mean?

LILAC: Okay - oh, woof. Listen, when people have just started dating, most of the time they’re not exclusive. And if they are, it’s purely incidental.

LILAC: So what you saw on the show was merely what would have been going on in the background in real life. Though I get where it would have been hard to watch. Do you still feel like he’s the person for you?

ARAMINTA: Yes. Absolutely.

LILAC: So is it more that you wish you’d met under different circumstances?

ARAMINTA: Yes - actually, no. I wouldn’t have been the person that I am today, had I not entered the competition. It - it definitely did a lot of good for me.

LILAC: And maybe if you and Dodo had met elsewhere, you wouldn’t have given each other a chance? [dryly] I’m feeling that way a lot about my situation.

ARAMINTA: True. And I appreciate the opportunity. But then I look at Daisy Dee, who’s so gorgeous and has such charisma, and Sierra, who’s simply amazing - and I wonder how he could have possibly picked me? It’s not that I’m jealous of either of them, it’s-

LILAC: The Inner Araminta Own Worst Critic?

ARAMINTA: Perhaps. 

LILAC: You could also maybe look at it like, “here’s all these ‘amazing’ people he met and had a great time with, and he still chose me? So to him, I must be extra amazing? And he must really want to be with me?” Could you try and think of it that way?

ARAMINTA: Hmm.

LILAC: And if you can’t see yourself that way, could you maybe believe that Dodo does?

ARAMINTA: [...]

LILAC: Would you try and talk to him about this sometime? I know that communication isn’t always easy for you stiff upper lipped Henford types, but if you explained how you felt exactly the way you explained it to me just now. He thinks the world of you. And if I’ve noticed that something’s been off about you lately, then I’m sure he has too. In between all the belching and the paranoid muttering, even.

ARAMINTA: [tentative smile]

LILAC: Well, time to face the music. Just let me fix your mascara first. We’ll just pretend it’s bled since the Watcher didn’t fork out for the Lovestruck pack. Also what’s this dress you’re wearing? Amazing.

ARAMINTA: It’s a @sentate. We had all packed formal outfits for the final, but production never gave us the chance to change.

LILAC: Then production’s a bunch of idiots. Dodo would have proposed to you on the spot. Actually, we better have Lou check that he’s off set for now. Can’t have him ruining my moment in the spotlight, can we?

dodo harper by @akitasimblr, daisy darling by @mdshh, sierra mitchell by @tipsy-clouds

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

A/N: Don't mind me. I'm feeling angsty and protective over my sexuality today.

"Eddie's been gone for a while," Vickie said nervously.

Robin, Vickie, Eddie, and Steve had decided to go to the new gay club that opened up in Indie. They've been having a wonderful time so far, mingling and getting to know people. Meanwhile, Eddie decided to search the crowd for other bisexuals. Much to Steve’s disappointment, Eddie had found a guy that he liked and disappeared into the crowd with him.

"He's probably hitting it off," Steve muttered.

"This is what happens when you put off telling people how you feel," Robin said. "I can't believe that I managed to do it before you did."

"Thanks, very helpful, Robin," Steve said.

Suddenly, another man approached the table.

"Uh, did you guys come here with a guy named Eddie?" He asked.

"Yeah," Steve said.

"I think he's about to start a fight," the man said and pointed to the direction that Eddie was in.

"Jesus, okay. Thank you," Steve said.

He got up and started walking in that direction. A few minutes later, Steve started walking back with Eddie flung over his shoulder.

"How in the everloving fuck do I not look bisexual? How the fuck are you supposed to look bisexual? I'm sorry, am I supposed to part my hair, dye one side blue and the other side pink? How does one dress gay? I mean, you're just wearing clothes, and you happen to be queer! And if it's because of what I'm wearing, this is typical metalhead fashion. I mean, if this was true, then every metalhead would be gay. And you're telling me that bisexuals aren't allowed to use the hanky code? Also, I did not know about the code until today. I'm sorry that I don't look bisexual enough for you! Let me just change myself to fit your opinion of me! And apparently, you look bisexual and I don't! How come you get to be bisexual? Why am I not allowed?" Eddie ranted furiously. "Also, that one guy who said, "straight people are always trying to find clever ways to divide us." Excuse me?! I am not straight and what a fucked up thing to say. You know, I thought coming here would be another place to feel included, but it's just more people telling me who they think that I'm supposed to be. Being bisexual is just as queer as any other sexuality in the community. There's nothing wrong with being gay, just like there's nothing wrong with being bisexual. I'm sorry that me liking women isn't queer enough for you but this is who I am and if you don't like it then that's your problem!"

At some point, Steve had set him down and listened to him as he ranted. Finally, he stopped and sighed, dropping his shoulders.

"I'm sorry, Eddie," Steve said softly.

"Anything that I do, it's always going to be wrong to everyone," Eddie said and sighed. "The worst part is how some people acted like it was something that needed to be fixed. Isn't that why this community was created? To make people see that people like us don't need to be fixed."

"I'm sorry," Steve said softly.

"That's fucked up. What the hell?" Robin asked.

Eddie sighed and started fingering the collar of Steve’s polo. He ran his fingers over the soft material of the shirt before moving them up to cup Steve’s face.

"People are always going to be telling me what I'm doing is wrong, but I'm not going to let them stop me from living the life that I want to," Eddie said.

He pulled Steve by his collar and smashed his lips to his. Steve moaned loudly in surprise before relaxing into the kiss and sighing against his lips. Vickie squealed and started hitting Robin.

"Babe, I'm right here, I can see them too," Robin said in amusement.

Eddie broke the kiss, breathing heavily. He grinned.

"Thanks for carrying me out of the fight. When I said I wanted to fight that guy, I wasn't serious, especially when he brought out his hulk of a boyfriend," Eddie said, and then he grinned. "When I need someone to fight for me, does that mean that I have a boyfriend now who's willing to fight my battles for me?"

"Boyfriend, yes. Champion, no," Steve said.

"Well, damn," Eddie said.

"It's okay, Vickie, I'm willing to be your champion, unlike some people," Robin said teasingly.

Vickie giggled and kissed Robin. Steve rolled his eyes and wrapped his arms around Eddie's waist, pulling him close.

"Maybe I won't be your fighter, but I will always be there to pull your cute little ass out of the fire and to make you feel better when people hurt you," Steve said softly.

"Are you saying you'll be my fireman?" Eddie asked.

"I guess," Steve laughed.

"You do make me feel better about myself," Eddie said as he leaned his forehead against his. "Let's get out of here. I want to kiss you all over."

"Disgusting," Robin said affectionately.

Maybe one day, people won't have a problem with his sexuality but for now, Eddie was content to live his life with his family, friends, and Steve, who accept him completely for who he is. He was a bisexual man who liked men and women. Just because other people can't see him that way, didn't mean it was any less true. It was his undeniable truth.

[whenlifegivesticks-blog]

Curly from mouthwashing analysis (Also posted on mouthwashing community so two of these running around cos idk how to use tumblr)

This is copy pasted from my analysis on Bluesky with additional analysis here and there. Very long, prepare your reading glasses.

so this is basically a rant on curly mouthwashing. This is part character analysis and part me big angy at the fandom. Read at the risk of your braincells.

So to me it seems a whole lot of the fandom completely missed the entire point of the game. I was honestly kinda surprised by how many people who seemed to think curly is entirely evil or curly is entirely innocent. Because he's neither. He is a person with flaws and made big mistakes.

Curly seems to be a person who sees the best in people. He wants to help and be there for everyone. This blinds him to the faults of others and his constant need to offer chances to others tend to be harmful in the long run. You all know what I'm talking about. I call curly- Toxic optimism.

Curly sees jimmy in high regard simply due to there many shared years and friendship. The simple fact blinds him to Jimmy's obvious flaws and he ends up making excuses for jimmy and his behavior. Curly is a textbook enabler. (originally I wrote seems to be textbook enabler but I believe its an established trait so I changed the sentence).

He refuses to see the flaws because he doesn't want to think the person he knew for so long is capable of such things, namely what Jimmy did to Anya. He ignored what Jimmy did to Anya simply due to an years long friendship. Plus, as a man he probably just couldn't fathom the entire consequences.

Not saying men can't understand horrible stuff like SA. considering how many probably go unreported from men's side. But in Curly's case he offers to talk to jimmy as if what jimmy did was a mistake and not one of the worst things you can do to a person. He treated it as a mistake and not Jimmy literally ruining someone else's life mentally and physically. He as Captain had a responsibility to Protect Anya and reprimand (Bash in Jimmy's skull) Jimmy yet he did neither. Played very nicely into the games theme of take responsibility.

curly and Anya before the whole overlooking jimmy thing seemed pretty close (not shippy). Curly genuinely cares for her, and seems to be worried for her. Throughout the game curly is constantly working for someone else's self interest. Mostly jimmy's... What I mean to say is, he genuinely seems to be a nice person. And this is where most curly apologists seems to be stuck on. Jimmy's horrifying action overshadow what curly had done or in this case didn't do.

Curly did something wrong and he knew it far too late. When jimmy finds the gun Curly start laughing. Its not just the realization Anya hid the gun from jimmy to begin with and he found it. Its the fact Anya was right from the very beginning and curly ignored her. He ignored her and now it's too late because he physically cannot do anything. He's forced to be a spectator to the horror show he's partially responsible for. Take responsibility hah!

When curly finally realized his own horrible actions its too late and he can't even talk anymore. Its a tragic ass scenario of realizing how your actions played a part in what occurred and knowing its too late to fix things.

Curly had this toxic optimism he could fix everything without losing a close friend and without ruining Anya's life. He doesn't seem to realize he can't have both when Jimmy is a downright guiltless monster (no guilt sequence for Anya).

In conclusion, Curly is someone whose toxic optimism played a part in the tragedy that occurred due to his betrayal of trust to Anya and enabling behavior to Jimmy. He isn't some innocent goody two shoes. He definitely isn't some evil irredeemable monster. He is a human and he payed for his actions in the worst way possible. I'm not saying he deserves forgiveness, especially from Anya. But he does deserve chance to redeem himself. I hope he gets rescued but the game didn't give a lot of hope. The end.

[kopiicryptid]

I think it's interesting but also nightmarish how the mouthwashing fandom can't decide whether or not they like Curly.

I don't think there's anything inherently wrong in liking his character, in fact I think it's quite understandable considering how we can probably find a bit of him in us all and how he was meant to be written that way. He has good intentions, he's a people pleaser, he has mental health issues that he keeps closed off about, he feels lost in his life, he wants to keep the peace. However, it becomes all the more nuanced when you consider despite all these 'good' traits, he still ends up failing, making huge mistakes, and worst of all, an enabler.

Like I said in my analysis of his humanity, to portray him a saint is to ignore his failures as a captain, a friend, and a 'good' human and how they led to the demise of his crew. Yet to portray him as a monster only furthers the message of his dehumanization in the game and in real life, taking away from the point of his character and what makes him so horrifying—that he was just an ordinary man and yet his inactions led to such consequences.

Regardless of his struggles, regardless of his past, regardless of even if he knew, understood, and was upset by Anya's situation, nothing changes the fact that his first instinct was to 'fix it', how to get Jimmy out of trouble. Again. Not to comfort Anya, not to show her support, not to consider his options, not even chastise his friend. Because of that, he is worthy of criticism and even hatred or disgust as well. You can find sympathy for his flaws up until the point where it starts to negatively effect the people around him, something that simply can't be ignored about his character. Intentions are fine and all, but it's the effects that can last forever.

Though it pains me to see how black and white the fandom treats his character, even as someone who deeply resonates with Anya. I know people tend to enjoy throwing around the term 'morally grey' with him as an excuse, but I find the best way to describe Curly is, well, just a man. Someone who grew up with all the privileges of a man but experiences the same struggles of the average human. I believe Curly could've most certainly handled the situation a lot better but the problem is he didn't and that is simply something we need to accept as his fault.

Although as Anya says, "I want to believe our worst moments don’t define us." And that is so, so crucial when it comes to Curly's character. Often times I feel angry at him, for his indecisiveness, his power and privilege that he takes for granted. But often times I also see myself in him, a person that is lost, influenced by the world they grew up in and making mistakes and errors as a result of that despite trying their best to do what they believe is right. He isn't a saint, he isn't a monster, he's a human being, one that failed to do the right thing.

You are allowed to love him. You are allowed to hate him. Feeling sympathy or disdain for such a character is only human after all, we cannot deny that about ourselves when it comes to the tragedy that is Curly's character and story. But I don't think that either opinion should be ignored, belittled, or worse, harassed over, and I have seen that time and time again with this fandom.

[annaliseblr]

can shows stop redeeming shitty parents? i thought brooklyn nine-nine finally changed this when i saw captain peralta, where they ended the ep with jake confronting his father, but then they brought him back next season and gave him a really random redemption arc. then rosa's homophobic parents got redeemed, which didn't annoy me as much bc her dad at least properly apologised to her, and her mom definitely put a lot of work into fixing things - they changed, jake's parents didn't.

9-1-1 is by far the worst offender of this i've ever seen. buck and maddie's parents emotionally abused and neglected them their whole lives, to the point where maddie was essentially raising buck on her own at the age of nine and buck only ever got attention when he was injured, maddie didn't leave her abusive husband in part because her mother would just say, 'i told you so,' and buck became the human embodiment of passive suicidality. then they just?? forgave them?? in one episode?? then chimney's shitty dad came back, and he made amends with him bc his daughter 'needed a good relationship with her grandparents.' eddie's dad was never around and the only things he did that involved eddie were yelling at him for trying to help his mother when she was in labor and declaring him the 'man of the house' at age 10. also, both his parents hated his wife, treated his son like an infant, and tried to get custody of said son. but he forgave his father and practically never addressed anything his mother did.

how to get away with murder thankfully never redeemed jorge castillo, which i approve of, but then connor's dad, who literally said he knew connor, and he knew oliver wasn't right for him (which is absolutely insane to say when you ran out on your son when he was 12) [he still could have been part of connor's life while being with ted!!]. and it basically just ignored that connor's mom let him, a teenager, have sex with a man in his twenties. because letting your son get raped is fine, i guess. and then annalise's dad, who didn't believe her when she was raped by her uncle, came back into her life. yay.

and then there's community. what annoys me is that they let jeff and pierce's dads be thrown into unforgivable territory (which i approve of, honestly - they sucked and advanced gay and cooperative escapism in familial relations are two of my favorite episodes), but britta's parents deserved forgiveness and britta was somehow in to wrong when she was molested and her dad took the guy's side??? she had to forgive her parents? that was just unfair and blatantly hypocritical.

stop redeeming horrible parents, please.

[cammiko-arts2]

Can I ask you for your fanon past and back history for Pumbaa? Cause all that they say bout´ him that he is alone cause his gas, and that´s so annoying >:(

Ohhhhhh I’ve been dying to talk about this. I’ve recently been working on a backstory for Pumbaa to inform my fanfic writing!

So yes. Let’s talk about Pumbaa. And not in the “teehee he farted and no one likes him and now he’s sad” kind of way.

Because YES, I absolutely agree with you. That whole “he’s alone just because he’s gassy” thing is such a tired, shallow take. Like?? No! This man is walking around with enough childhood trauma to snap a baobab tree like a twig, and all anyone wants to talk about is his IBS symptoms?? Be so serious right now.

(WARNING: long, tragic warthog backstory rant incoming.)

ANYWHO, here’s my fanon Pumbaa lore:

So first off, Pumbaa wasn’t just a little stinky.

He wasn’t just your average “oops, pardon me” baby warthog. No, his gas was atomic for a reason.

From birth, he had an overactive scent gland, and I mean like, wildly overactive. It wasn’t just that he smelled bad. It was that he smelled so strong, predators could track the entire sounder from miles away just by following the scent trail. And the worst part was that the predators didn’t even want Pumbaa. His scent actually repelled them. But it also acted like a giant neon sign saying “HEY! THERE’S A HERD OF WARTHOGS RIGHT HERE!”

So his presence became a liability. His smell didn’t just embarrass the herd, but it actively endangered them. And he didn’t mean to. He didn’t want to. But that didn’t matter.

And as he grew up, things only got worse.

Normally, young male warthogs get pushed out of the herd once they hit a certain age. But Pumbaa was still just a kid when the others started whispering that he should be cast out early. Every time a predator showed up, they blamed him. Every time they had to flee, they blamed him. And to be honest, they weren’t wrong, at least, not completely. The attacks did start happening more often once he got older and stronger and his scent got more potent.

But through all of it, the one who stood by him, the one who refused to let them exile him, was his mother. She was the matriarch, and she loved him fiercely. She protected him, defended him, and fought for him. Even when it put her at odds with the rest of the sounder, and even when it put her life at risk.

And then, one night, everything changed.

A leopard attacked. It was sudden and brutal. The herd scattered in panic. And the leopard turned on Pumbaa.

And little Pumbaa was just frozen in fear.

His mother saw, and after she got his siblings to safety. She turned around, and she fought.

She stood between him and the leopard. She held her ground. And for one terrifying, heartbreaking moment, she made herself a wall. But the leopard hadn’t come for Pumbaa at all—it had been waiting for HER.

It knew she wouldn’t abandon him. That she would come after him. And that pretending to go after Pumbaa would put her right where it wanted her.

Pumbaa watched it happen. He watched her fight, and he watched her lose. And just before she was taken down, she shoved him away, and screamed for him to run. And the leopard revealed that it had been a trap.

Pumbaa obeyed his mother and ran. But he heard what the leopard had said. And he never forgot the look in her eyes. And he never stopped believing it was his fault.

The next morning, the herd didn’t say a word.

No one would look at him. No one offered comfort. The new matriarch, his aunt, maybe, or some other senior female, finally broke the silence and said the thing everyone else was thinking: “If you stay, more of us will die.”

And just like that, it was over. There was no argument, no goodbyes, no second chances.

He was cast out of the sounder. Alone, and grieving the loss of his mother. Just reeking of shame and guilt and everything else that he didn’t know how to fix.

He never bothered trying to find another herd.

It wasn’t because he didn’t want connection, but because he genuinely believed no one would ever want him again. I mean… why would they? His own family gave up on him. His scent was too dangerous. Alone, it kept him safe, but in a crowd of other warthogs, it was like painting a target on the sounder.

So he just wandered around.

He wasn’t lost, but he had convinced himself that he deserved to be lost.

That is… until he met a loudmouthed, fast-talking, high-strung little meerkat who apparently had a weak sense of smell and zero survival instincts. And for the first time in his entire life, Pumbaa wasn’t too much. He wasn’t a burden. He wasn’t a threat. He was just… Pumbaa. In fact, he was Pumbaa, the one who could PROTECT. The one who could keep predators AWAY from someone. He could redeem himself.

And suddenly, Pumbaa felt like his life had finally begun.

—

(Bonus heartbreak! Because why not!!)

So in my fanfic, Pumbaa actually did have a friend once, just one.

Her name was Kanisha, and she was part of a migrating sounder that briefly joined his herd when they were both piglets. The two of them became fast friends almost immediately. Kanisha didn’t care about his smell. She didn’t even notice it. She just liked playing with him. She didn’t understand why everyone else avoided him. She didn’t understand the whispers. She didn’t understand the danger.

But oh boy, her family did.

And when they realized how many predators were showing up near the sounder, they up and left, suddenly, and without warning. Pumbaa didn’t get to say goodbye. Neither of them understood what was happening. They were just separated.

And Kanisha became the first person Pumbaa ever lost that didn’t involve death, which hurt in a totally different way.

(They reunite after The Lion King 2, and it’s emotional, it’s awkward, and it grows into this fun, complex, polyamorous queer dynamic. But I’ll shut up about that now.)

—

TL;DR:

Pumbaa isn’t alone because he farts too much.

He’s alone because his overactive scent gland made him a danger to the people he loved. Because the very thing that kept him safe from predators is what got his mother killed.

He was taught, from a young age, that loving him comes with consequences, and he never wanted anyone to pay that price again.

But to me, the most heartbreakingly beautiful thing about Pumbaa is, despite all the horrific rejection, he’s still gentle. He’s still kind. He still chooses to believe in friendship and love, even when the world gave him every reason not to.

Which, to me, makes him one of the most resilient and emotionally nuanced characters in the entire TLK franchise.

OKAY I’m gonna stop there before I start crying over a cartoon warthog again. But THANK YOU for asking. I love talking about this boy more than words can express!!!!

[dicenote]

touta matsuda

discuss

omg YES ty! This is gonna be a long, disorganized ramble, so bear with me!

Touta Matsuda. My blorbo, skrunky scrimblo, love of my life, etc.

There are so many things about Matsuda's character that I could talk about. His impulsivity, his loyalty, his uncertainty... All of it makes a very real and very interesting character. And I think that a lot of his traits shine in one of the most horrifying scenes from his perspective: the Yellow Box Warehouse.

Like, let's take a step back and look at the numbers here. On one side of the warehouse, we've got a guy claiming to be L, and the three members of the old Kira Task Force that he brought with him. On the other side, we've got a different guy claiming to be L and three members of the SPK that he brought with him (oh. and the guy from the Task Force that got kidnapped in the mix). Outside, Kira's accomplice is lying in wait. So we've got ten people in all who are ready for the final showdown. The reveal. The evidence that will finally end this years-long nightmare and point to the true identity of Kira.

And of those 10 people, only one of them doesn't have a clue who Kira really is.

Light is Kira. Mikami is X-Kira and finds out who Kira is as soon as he looks in the room. Near and the SPK are all on the same page. Mogi and Aizawa know. Ide's a bit more on the fence but he wasn't completely in the dark. So Matsuda is the only one who goes in totally blind.

If anyone were to re-write Death Note purely from Matsuda's perspective, the Warehouse scene would go from tense to horrifying. To (nearly) everyone else there, this confrontation isn’t meant to reveal an unexpected truth, it’s to confirm something that they already know. But for Matsuda? Near's request to meet at the warehouse is, at worst, a tactic to once again frame Light. Because Light obviously can't be Kira, right? Light will show Near that he's wrong, and the investigation will continue as normal until the real Kira is caught.

But then Near presents that irrefutable evidence, and everything that Matsuda knew for over five years comes crumbling down. Light starts monologuing about how the world had to be fixed and how no one could ever make it as far as he did. Kira and Light are one and the same. Matsuda always thought that Kira was a well-intentioned person who was helping change the world. Ide and Aizawa and Mogi believed that Kira was evil, they were much stronger in their resolve than Matsuda ever could be. But Light had confessed to him once that he too questioned if what they were doing was right. If Kira was doing right.

Light has always been Kira.

And then comes the absolutely tasty part where Matsuda shoots Light. I love how chapter 106 is called "Intent to Kill", because it reminds me of how Matsuda and Light are foils to each other. Better yet, they can be compared against a man they both held such deep respect for, Soichiro Yagami.

See, Soichiro threatens to kill people a good couple times, and even holds a gun to his son's face, but he never has any intent to kill. In fact, he's never killed anyone, as (I think) Mello points out. It's almost kind of silly. Like, Soichiro draws the line at firing bullets or writing full names in the Death Note, and that's it? Everything else is fair game? Weird line to draw, but go off I guess.

Light, meanwhile, justifies killing thousands. But only with the Death Note. With the Death Note, his intent to kill becomes a righteous one, another step on the path to becoming God of a New World. The criminals deserved to die. Those who get in Kira's way deserve to die. Because Light isn't a serial killer. He's doing the right thing! Crime is going down, war has stopped, and Light is the only one who could have possibly gone this far and done this much good.

And then we're back to Matsuda. I believe the mafia raid is the first time we see Matsuda using a gun, and we see that he's damn good at it. So good, in fact, that he's able to fire only non-lethal shots to get the Death Note back. (Also, fun tidbit: I'm pretty sure he's the only one who doesn't go into the raid with a rifle, he's just got like, a standard-issue cop pistol with a light on it.) The same thing happens in the warehouse, at least initially. He fires at Light's hand to get him to stop writing. Then he and Light yell at each other for a little bit about (who else?) Soichiro. Light demands that Matsuda shoot the others, because he's the only one who understands Kira. When Matsuda hesitates, Light resumes writing Near's name. Then Matsuda fires again and again and again. Anything to make Light stop. Anything to make it all stop. But it becomes obvious that he's not just shooting Light as a deterrent. What does Matsuda say as he's doing it?

"He needs to die!"

The others literally have to drag Matsuda away before he can execute Light on the spot.

Matsuda is a character full of contradictions. He dedicates over half a decade to fighting Kira, but he doubts the whole time. He tries to follow in Soichiro's footsteps but in the end makes the same justification that Light did when he first started writing in the Death Note. This man is a criminal. He deserves to die. The Yellow Box Warehouse not only exposed Light's true colors, but Matsuda's as well.

[thelostmagicians]

Delicate | Eddie Munson

Summary: Eddie Munson's reputation has never been worse, but you must like him for him. [2.8k]

Fluff, comfort, slight angst, sad boy Eddie

♡

This ain't for the best, my reputation's never been worse, so you must like me for me

Eddie’s always had a bad reputation, in high school he was known as The Freak, which soon morphed into Devil Worshipper, but the worst label he’s had so far had to be Murderer. It’s been almost a year since he’s been cleared for the murders of Vecna’s victims, but Hawkins has yet to move past it and believe in his innocence. 

His friends stay strong by his side and even Hopper has a soft spot for him now, but it still isn’t easy. He’s taunted and harassed relentlessly, everywhere he goes, fired from jobs, rejected by girls, and his once dream of going on tour with Corroded Coffin squashed when he lost their slot at the Hideout. Some days, he thinks about packing it all up and moving away, leaving behind his past and the trauma, but he wants to be strong. He wants to show people that their words can’t break him any more than the Upside Down already has. He’s made peace with the fact that his reputation will never change and that he’ll lead a despairing life in Hawkins, but at least he’ll do it with pride. 

-

The first time Eddie sees you, it’s storming outside. Wayne is getting ready to close the garage while he’s checking the register. He sees you running towards, your worn out purse doing nothing to cover you from the pouring rain. Your shoes squeak as Wayne ushers you in, gently pushing you to stand near the heaters.

“I’m so sorry, I know it’s closing, but I just moved here and my car keeps making this weird noise, and tomorrow is my first day of work and I don’t want anything to go wrong and…” you keep rambling, frustration seeping through your words.

“Take a breath darlin’, you’re okay,” Wayne reassures.

You nod, hands clutching your bag as you take deep breaths. Wayne’s gaze meets Eddie over your shoulder as he gestures at him to bring the office chair around. Eddie grimaces when the chair squeaks against the tile floor, hoping you won’t notice, but his wish goes ignored when you meet his eyes. 

One look into your eyes and he’s a goner, his heart fights to jump out of his chest, his hands clam up on the chair, and he forgets how to breathe. You shoot him a soft smile and he nearly topples over, legs having a mind of their own. He hurriedly drags the chair near you while Wayne gestures for you to sit. 

“What’d you say was wrong with your car?” Wayne’s voice breaks Eddie out of his trance and the smirk he gets tells him Wayne knows more than he lets on. 

“I’m not really sure, it just makes a chggg… chggg…” you trail off, cheeks heating up in embarrassment. 

Eddie chuckles under his breath, god you were so fucking cute. 

“What time does your work start tomorrow?”

“nine a.m.,” your eyes light up with hope at Wayne’s question. 

“We’ll have it done by eight, you can come pick it up then. Do you need a ride back here?”

“Oh no, It’s only a five minute walk away from my place. I’ll be okay, thanks.” You glance out the door, the storm barely visible now, you thank both of them profusely rushing out the door, squealing with giddiness when you think they can’t see you anymore. 

“That was awfully nice of you,” Eddie accuses. 

“Yeah it was… only for my favorite nephew though.”

 “I’m your only nephew,” Eddie huffs, “Still didn’t think you would volunteer to work late because I have a crush.” 

Wayne smirks at Eddie’s admittance, “I didn’t. Have fun working and don’t forget to double check the doors before you leave.” He shrugs on his leather jacket, bustling through the front door, leaving a very confused Eddie in the lobby. 

_

Eddie stays up until three in the morning, fixing everything wrong with your car. He goes home sluggish, but doesn’t forget to set an alarm for seven, so he won’t miss you when you come to pick up. 

He’s awakened by a loud pounding at his door, instead of the shrill of his alarm. He trips over clothes as he shuffles out of bed, grabbing his old hellfire t-shirt before swinging open the trailer door. 

Wayne’s frantic face appears before him, hands grabbing his shoulders and checking him over, while repeatedly asking if he was okay. Eddie runs his hands through his hair finally fully waking up at Wayne’s distraught voice, “Wha’s going on, somethin’ happen?”

Wayne’s eyes turn dark, “The shop… someone came over and…”

Eddie doesn’t let Wayne finish before he’s grabbing his jeans and shoes and running towards the building. He can spot the words from nearly a mile away, crimson paint making it unmissable. Murderer covers the entire side of the building, the dripping of the paint being a near perfect replication of blood, the windows are smeared with the same paint, handprints accompanying the paint strokes. The sight itself was gruesome and cruel, the situation wasn’t anything new to Eddie or even Wayne, but it was still distressing when it happened. It was the same viscous cycle over and over again, Eddie and Wayne reporting the incident to Hopper, who would then catch the perps, but release them just as fast because he had no power against the rich of Hawkins, and then Eddie and his friends would spend the next few days helping Wayne scrubbing down the shop. This has happened so many times that Eddie doesn’t even flinch anymore, but today was different, you’re coming in to pick up your car in under an hour and he doesn’t think he can get the shop cleaned up by then. A disgruntled sigh leaves his lips as he grabs the nearby mop and bucket to start scrubbing. 

-

Time passes by quickly, Eddie’s arms sore from tirelessly scouring, but he isn’t even a fourth of the way done. Just as he’s about to head in for a quick water break, he spots you flitting over in your pretty blouse and flouncy skirt. You reach his side before he can hide and he busies himself with wiping off the red paint on his jeans.  

“What happened here?” Your soft voice sets his heart aflame and he tries to think of any excuse to explain all this away, but his mushy brain forces him to tell you the truth.

“I-I don’t really have the best reputation in Hawkins and people are… um v-very keen on reminding me of that,” he stammers. 

You glance up at the wall, the r at the end of murderer being the only thing that’s almost gone. Wayne was able to spray down the windows with the hose, but some of the handprints remained stubborn, similar to the scars he’ll never heal from the night he saw Chrissy die. You frown looking at the mess and Eddie feels like he’s suffocating, your silence heavy in the air, filling his mind with intrusive thoughts of despair. 

“Your car’s ready by the way, it shouldn’ give you anymo’ trouble,” he whispers.

You nod and head inside, returning momentarily with jingling keys. “Wayne said you stayed back late to work on my car, thank you.”

He shrugs, “It’s no problem.”

He’s expecting another awkward silence, but you surprise him, “Do you need help? I mean I can’t help right now because I have work… but I can come back after and help you out.”

“You want to help me? Did you not see the murderer written across the walls?”

“I did. I just don’t believe you’re as good of a murderer as Hawkins thinks considering I’m still alive.”

Eddie laughs loudly, head thrown back, brown curls flying on his face. “I don’t know I did work on your car, so maybe I’m trying new methods, you know, straying away from the usual stabbing.”

You smile at him before getting in your car, you roll your windows down as you back out, yelling out, “I’ll be here at five!”

-

We can't make any promises, now can we, babe? But you can make me a drink

You stayed late that night, helping him until Wayne’s shop glittered clean, what would have taken him a few days to finish, only took him a few hours. It felt like everything was easy when you were next to him, your presence alone giving him a new outlook on life. He talked to you for hours and hours, words flowing out like quick sand, sharing every thought and experience and you were no different mouth moving a mile a minute, eager to learn about him, but also teach him about you. 

Although you exchanged numbers before parting ways, you hadn’t had the chance to give him a call, work and a new environment getting in the way. Eddie on the other hand found excuses to not call you in fear of what you might say. Maybe you only gave him your number to be nice, or you hadn’t called him yet because people’s opinions on him finally got to you, or maybe you just didn’t like him. He knew the excuses were a shield to protect his heart, but no matter how many times he tried he could never find the courage to dial your full number, always stopping before the last digit and hanging up. 

-

He’s genuinely surprised when you walk into the Hideout at 2 a.m. on a Thursday morning. You look rundown and tired, but your eyes light up when you see him, smiling so bright it blinds him momentarily. 

“H-hi.”

“Hey, Eddie. I didn’t know you worked here.” That was a lie. You knew he worked here once your co-worker let it slip that she avoided the Hideout because of Eddie. You started frequenting the bar almost every night hoping to catch a glimpse of him, until finally one of the other bartenders showed mercy and told you the time for his next shift.

“Yeah, I work the dead shifts, when people really aren’t around,” he looks down sadly, busying himself with dirty scotch glasses. 

You smile softly, hand reaching to squeeze his, “You’re not who people say you are, I hope you know that.”

His neck heats up, blush blossoming its way towards his cheeks, “you know I never thanked you properly for that night, helping me out with cleaning the shop.”

“How about you make me a drink and we’ll call it even.”

-

Sometimes I wonder; when you sleep, are you ever dreaming of me? Sometimes when I look into your eyes...I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

Nowadays, instead of nightmares keeping Eddie awake it's you. You're always in his dreams, keeping the bad memories at bay with your sweetness. Sometimes he dreams of the day you first met, but most nights he dreams of a future together. He isn’t brave enough to ask you out, but he can feel his heart get stronger and stronger the more time he spends with you, the usual taunts and threats being easily brushed off now instead of sticking to him like honey. He doesn’t know what a future with you looks like, but he hopes it’ll always feel like this, safe, happy, and serene. He dreams of holding your hand, whisking you away on dates, and charming you until your heart gives out and you finally shut him up with a kiss. Waking up from a dream about you is more painful than waking up from a nightmare, knowing that everything he dreams to have with you can only be achieved when he’s asleep.

_

You wake up everyday eager for nightfall so you can see Eddie in your dreams. It hasn’t been long since your first meeting, but you’re addicted to him, his laugh, hair, charm, wit, everything and anything about Eddie is your favorite thing in the world. You feel at peace just thinking about him and you’re eagerly counting down the minutes for when you can see him next. You dream about lying in bed with him, waking up late, cooking breakfast, doing laundry, all the chores you hate doing, but you want it all with him, even the boring-ness of life. You have to set your alarm an hour early now, otherwise you’ll keep snoozing it just to bask in your dreams longer and soak up as much Eddie as you can before facing the reality of him not being yours. 

-

Is it cool that I said all that? Is it chill that you're in my head? 'Cause I know that it's delicate  Is it cool that I said all that? Is it too soon to do this yet? 'Cause I know that it's delicate

You and Eddie hang out almost everyday now, whether it’s an early morning at the hideout or late nights in his trailer, you talk about anything and everything, conversation flowing easy and warm. He looks happier than he did the day you met him, almost boyish and young, eyes full with hope. You hope it stays that way. 

You feel different too, lighter on your feet, a smile permanently etched on your face, and love blossoming in your heart. You know you have feelings for Eddie, strong ones at that and you know he feels something for you too, but you see the hesitance in his eyes almost like he’s scared to believe you’re real. Every time you reach for his hand he pulls back, fearful his touch might burn you, he shuffles farther away from you when he sees a passerby hoping to save you from the ridicule that accompanies him. You’ve told him you don’t care what others think, but he thinks it’s too good to be true, which is why, today, you decide you’re going to sweep Eddie Munson off his feet. 

Your first stop is flowers. Eddie has never said anything about his favorite flower, but you think sunflowers are the most fitting for the boy who warms your heart. You stop by Benny's for his usual order before heading to his trailer, your palms sweat and your knees shake, walking the short distance from your car to his front door seems like a battle, your heart as heavy as the bags you're carrying in. You're nervous, sure, you're pretty confident that he likes you like that, but change is still nerve wrecking, even if it can be good. You knock fast and loud before you lose your courage, part of you hoping he doesn't open so you can go back to wallowing, but another part, a bigger part, of you is giddy with anticipation. 

He swings open the door, sweats hanging almost too low, and an old band t-shirt falling off his shoulder thanks to the stretched out collar. 

"Hey, sweetheart. What brings you here?"

The speech you had prepared vanishes, mind becoming blank as his stare looms over your face, you act before you speak, hands shoving the sunflowers roughly in his chest. "These are for you. I didn't know your favorite flower, but I thought you'd like sunflowers... 'cause, well... you're my sun, I guess." You shyly meet his gaze.

His eyes are tender, oozing love, but it's his tone that makes your heart plummet. "Sweetheart, this is nice 'n all, but we... you and I can never work. You don't wanna be with someone like me."

You sigh, dropping the Benny's takeout on the floor, you reach out and let your fingers brush back his curls, and then slowly trace down his forehead to his cheeks, then lips. He sighs softly, eyes closing as the ache in his heart is replaced with bliss, your fingers stop at his chin gently cradling it, encouraging him to meet your eyes. 

"Eddie, I don't care what people think.. or say.. or do. All I know is that I'm my best when I'm with you, you make me feel alive and safe. I like you for you. If I make you even half as happy as you make me, then..."

He chokes back a sob, bringing you chest to chest forcing you to share the same breath of air. "I'm my best when I'm with you too. You've changed my life for the better, you're my first thought in the morning and my last one at night."

You laugh through your tears bringing his face close to yours hoping you can finally taste the lips you've dreamed of, but he beats you to it, pressing his lips to yours, giving you a kiss as soft and tender as him. 

Eddie‘s delicate heart finally mending with your love.

[artist-issues]

Raya and the Last Dragon popped into my head today and I kept thinking about how the incredibly unsubtle and poorly executed message of trusting others felt like a first draft.

What do you think about it? Would a revised script with the same story premise fix that film? Or was it doomed from the get go in what it was trying to say?

Good question! I go back and forth. I think the movie's biggest weak point was its writing, so I guess I'd say, "a revised script with the same story premise would fix it!"

There's nothing wrong at all with a message like "Without trust, we can't stand together." Because it's very true. Everyone has priorities, and there's always a chance they'll choose themselves over you, or over the "greater good." But if you keep trying to take control of the situation by believing the worst about them before it happens, you'll be exhausted & jaded, they'll be exhausted & jaded, and all your time and energy will be spent on competing with each other for the grand prize of "who can look out for their own interests better."

I think Raya and the Last Dragon's premise works for a truth like that. It makes total sense to have a girl who's competitive become jaded and control-freaky when her father, the symbol of the virtue of trust & good faith, is murdered by betrayal. And not just any betrayal, but betrayal from someone she directly tried to befriend and trust as a sort of "first experience" with that good faith her dad was always talking about. Makes total sense. And it's impactful; something that traumatic and personal would cause a relatable character flaw that the heroine needs drastic measures to overcome.

I actually love the concept of Sisu too. I like the idea that she's this pure, selfless soul who's got childlike faith—but, all the jaded people in a post-apocalyptic world respect and consider her worldview because she's a revered dragon. So she really does change minds just by being around them, just by coming back and existing in the first place. I mean, if she had been just a sheltered girl from, say, a different country, who came into the broken Kumandra with stars in her eyes, the bad guys wouldn't have thought twice about whatever she exemplified. But she's a dragon.

And step back and think about it: having a group of characters from every walk of life come together as a mini-experiment in trust and unity during the course of the adventure is a great idea. It's not flashy or original, but it's classic and true. Avatar the Last Airbender has a crew of characters from each tribe combining to defeat evil. When Kenai has a prejudice against bears in Brother Bear, how is that character flaw solved? Not just by him turning into one, but by him having to travel with and get to know one.

What they get to know is that they all have something in common: they've all lost people to the great evil in the world. And, they all want the same things, despite cultural differences. They all want their families back, they all want safety and success.

So yeah, the pieces are all there. The problem is, the writing was just super clunky. Theres a lot of telling, when it comes to the story, instead of showing. There's not no showing. There's just not enough.

I know this is already a long post, but I'll just point out: Aladdin's message had a lot to do with trust, too. But no character ever said out loud, "you have trust issues and you need to work through them." Certainly not more than once. The closest you get is Genie telling Aladdin to be himself.

Instead, you're just shown that Jasmine is the type of girl to give an apple to a hungry kid without even thinking about whether or not the shopkeeper wouldn't want her to do it. She's the type of girl who plays along with a scrubby boy from the marketplace trying to help her. She's the kind of girl who goes out with a Prince even though she has reason to believe he's already lying to her. She just does those things, and never says, "hey, why did you lie to me--you have trust issues!"

Meanwhile Aladdin's whole story is him bending over backwards to control what everyone thinks of him, because he can't trust them to accept him as he is. But he never says, "Trust gets me hurt." He just says, "if Jasmine knew I was really some crummy street-rat, she'd laugh at me."

Those sentences that the characters say are well-written because they are realistic. Only in our modern psycho-babble Instagram-influencer culture, where everyone thinks they're an expert on the human psyche, are teenagers starting to say things like "My trauma causes me to struggle with trust."

What Aladdin says is much more immediate, much more down-to-earth than that. It shows where his brain is in that moment. He's not thinking about the general philosophy of truth and trust. He's just thinking about what he should or shouldn't say on his date, and how scary the idea of getting laughed at is. We, the audience, are smart enough to infer that it's all rooted in trust issues. We don't need Genie to deliver a speech six times to make it abundantly clear.

I'm capable of identifying that as the problem, but I'm not great at doing it, myself. I know the language, I'm not great at speaking it. But actually I'm going to punt this part of the question over to @doverstar , who is very skilled at "show, don't tell," especially in dialogue. How would you re-write that scene where Sisu is trying to convince Raya of the importance of trust?

One final thing that I think handicaps Raya and the Last Dragon is that, because of the way they're written, the characters lose likability. Theres a way to have a traumatized, defensive girl who thinks she knows everything still be likable. Just like there was a way to have a selfish, insecure liar be likable in Aladdin.

I think there are other issues—I'd have completely written out the baby and the monkeys, and I'd have cut the fight sequences between two teenage girls way shorter because nobody cares about them. But that can be for another post.

[wromwood]

The newest episode of Futurama ("Quids Game") could've been a lot better - and here's how

Today, I watched the (current) newest episode of Futurama, "Quids Game." While it was one of the better Hulu episodes, I still felt dissatisfied by the end. That was surprising; while the story wasn't perfect, it was so promising. I suppose that's why I'm as disappointed as I am.

Fortunately, I think I can pinpoint the sources of this episode's largest faults, and even offer solutions that could, if not fix it, at least raise it into being the promising episode that I was hoping for.

If you've seen "Quids Game" or don't mind spoilers, read on!

So, what went wrong?

While I also have smaller critiques for this episode, I believe its largest flaw resides in how disconnected Fry's childhood experience (losing all[?] his friends after winning multiple games in a row at his 8th birthday party) is from the episode's plot in the present (being forced to play supposedly deadly recreations of those games in a recreation of said birthday party).

This might seem like a paradox. After all, the memories of Fry's past are literally creating the episode's present peril. How could they not be connected? But, on a deeper narrative level, they really aren't.

If you look at it from only present Fry's POV, he's brought back to a recreation of his worst birthday party on his current birthday by malevolent aliens. He and his friends/coworkers/peers are subject to the game, and they all believe that the losers are getting permanently killed as the game goes on. Fry's trauma about cheating comes up occasionally, but whether he avoids it or accepts, people "die" in any case. Finally, he dies after accidentally "killing" Bender while intentionally trying to win. Everyone's brought back to life anyway, there's no comeuppance for the evil aliens, and Fry's only closure for this event is Leela and the others telling him that they believe he's not a cheater.

That feels woefully unsatisfying, especially because only the audience sees the real "twist" of the episode: that Fry's parents were behind their son's "victories" during the party, and they don't even know how miserable they made his son. Without this knowledge, Fry is left thinking he was solely responsible of the events that branded him as a "cheater" to his old friends, with nothing to comfort him but the support of some of his current peers saying they believe he's not a cheater. He didn't really learn or resolve anything.

I kept thinking about the twist of a more successful episode, "The Lucky of the Fryrish," where Fry learns that his brother Yancy stole his clover, but gave to to his (Yancy's) own son as a tribute to his (Fry's) disappearance. That revelation changed Fry's memories about his brother, his feelings about needing the lucky clover. Even though he went back to his "unlucky" life, his choice had meaning and resolved the episode nicely.

Sometimes, you can get around the characters learning this vital information, like in "Jurassic Bark." Fry doesn't know about Seymour waiting the rest of his doggie life for him, and it's so effective and sad that they had to retcon this ending to help me fans sleep at night. However, this is after Fry made a choice based on what he assumed happened to Seymour in the past. It's a bad decision due to dramatic irony (and some logic), but a good one as a character choice. Fry has such faith that his dog would have moved on without him, that he chooses not to clone him out of a sort of kindness, leaving the past in peace.

But there's no such character choice or delicious tragedy (Fry losing his friends just feels crummy, no where near as powerfully and heart-wrenchingly horrible as a doggie missing his owner for the rest of its life) to balance out "Quids Game." Everything kind of happens "just because," especially because the stakes are practically nonexistent. (Of course no one is actually dead! How would you have the rest of the show?)

Here are my proposed fixes...

First, the episode should establish that Fry doesn't just have a strong emotional aversion to being perceived as a cheater. He should also have an aversion to competition. (We're already retconning Fry's aversion to cheating [see how he cheated at poker when he could read minds in Into the Wild Green Yonder]; we can retcon this too, as a treat)

This could actually blend well with Fry's easy-going slacker personality. He's not (just) slacking off due to laziness. It's also due to this inherent fear of competition. After all, the one time he wished he could succeed and tried his best, he was accused of cheating and abandoned by his friends. The success he got from his seven-leaf clover was different; luck always is. He probably counted on the clover's luck to keep people from turning on him or leaving him. But actual effort in a win-or-lose situation? Either he fails and feels that inevitable pain, or he succeeds and people leave him.

Second, Fry should show visible distress every time he moves on from a challenge. With the exception of the birthday candles, he should clearly show he's experiencing dread with each "victory", even though he's winning. He should also show a lot more concern/pain when people die. He's not just beating them: they're leaving him. This will make the reveal that his old friends abandoned him hit stronger.

Third, Fry's parents should learn about how their plan backfired.

Fourth, Fry should learn about his parents rigging every game. Here's my proposed semi-fanfic of a solution:

Pinning the tail on the donkey will be the straw that breaks the camel's back for Fry. He panics, throwing off his blindfold and shouting that he's never going to play: not this game, not anything ever again. To the aliens' surprise and frustration, he runs off into the hallways of the house... and unintentionally, falls into the bowels of their "machine."

Yes, in this version of the story, we see glimpses of the machine from the inside. It's a huge and highly advanced supercomputer, allowing Fry to see its calculations and productions in progress. Fry wanders the area for a bit until he finds an interesting set of calculations. A screen shows memories from his POV: a child-sized first-person perspective. Another screen shows an environment being extrapolated from that data. Fry deduces aloud that the computer must be predicting and generating everything from details extracted from his memories.

He wanders further and finds an area labeled "Irrelevant Memories." One of the projections (a generated image of what young Fry would've looked like at that moment) shows young Fry in the middle of the night after the party. He's tossing and turning in bed, crying in his sleep.

Fry explains aloud that he was so sad that night that he even cried in his sleep. He wasn't fully awake or asleep, but he could hear some of his family talking from behind the ajar bedroom door. We, the audience, hear a few phrases among the muttering: "ruined his party"... "think he's a cheater"... "he can't risk doing anything"

But then the machine begins new processes. Audio isolation, AI detection of words. Suddenly, as Fry stares at the shadows of his parents and brother (the only things that he can glimpse past his bedroom's generated door), he can hear what they're saying.

Yancy, in fact, told his parents, "Way to go, you guys. You ruined Phillip's party by rigging every game!"

Fry has only just begun to process this when more screens appear, displaying AI predictions of how this was accomplished. This is how we see the montage of his parents rigging the games.

"Well, we can't tell him about this," his dad said. "His friends already think he's a cheater. It'd be cruel to take his victories from him."

"He'd hate us for this, I know it," said his mom. "But I can't just have him think he can't risk doing anything!"

"I don't hate you, Mom!" Fry can't help but say to the shadows. And he means it.

Suddenly, the shadows are gone and his mom is by his bedside, holding his younger self. Fry remembers this, but he's staring at his mom in a new way.

As she comforts him, his younger self cries that he'll never make another friend like the best friend he lost.

"But I did," says Fry.

He'll never have people who'll want to throw a birthday party for him like this ever again.

"But I will," says Fry.

What's the point of trying to win if it makes people hate him?

To this, Fry can't say anything.

But then his mom holds his younger self tighter and tells him that it's not important whether he wins or loses. The important thing is that he tries his best to get what he wants. Even if he loses, the effort will be worth it. And in the future, he'll make better friends, and they won't accuse him of cheating when good things happen to him.

"Besides," she adds, "maybe you dodged a bullet by losing friends who'd care so much about party games. After all, none of it's real."

Fifth, the climax of the episode plays out a little differently.

Suddenly, Fry is grabbed by the aliens and dragged back to Pin the Tail on the Donkey. To avoid anyone doing what Fry did, they gouge out the remaining players' eyes. However, as the game proceeds, a strange sense of calm has washed over Fry. Fry rallies Bender's spirits and asks that they win this game together, as best friends.

Then Fry accidentally kills Bender.

But in this version, Bender doesn't call Fry a cheater. He says, "At least you killed me... fair and square..." before he dies.

Fry wails over the body of his friend after he "wins" and gets his sight back. He cries out, "This can't be real!" Then he gasps. "None of it's real."

Fry wrenches his pin out of Bender, then takes out a blindfold, wraps it around himself, and spins around. He lurches towards the donkey, shouting "None of it's REAL!"

... only to get swallowed by the donkey too.

Suddenly, Fry appears in another room inside the machine. All of the "dead" players are there, alive and well.

This is when the truth of the games is revealed: the aliens never intended for anyone to permanently die. They kidnap beings, force them to play to the death in traumatic situations for gambling purposes, then revive them before wiping their memories and returning them to their home planets. The aliens can't risk being caught, but they also can't risk mass disappearances raising any eyebrows.

Fortunately, the presence of the cops (Smitty and URL) prove to have significance: they had gotten a tip about where the aliens would be next, and learned that Planet Express's "birthday" route would likely cross their path. The cops purposefully got themselves invited to the party to travel to this exact part of the galaxy and catch the aliens in the act. The aliens get comeuppance and are transported to jail.

As they return home, Leela apologizes for Fry's birthday being so crummy, what with all the "watching your friends and loved ones die" that occurred. It was probably his worst birthday ever.

"Well, I am traumatized," Fry admits. "But it also kinda fixed the trauma about my last worst birthday ever. So I guess it balances out."

"At least you won your birthday games again," said Leela. "And don't worry. None of us think you're a cheater."

"Well..." Fry shrugs. "I don't think that matters so much anymore. As long as I have you, I'll always be a winner."

And on that corny note, the episode ends.

.... Well, those are my thoughts! Let me know if you agree with my changes or not.

[screechingkingdomhottub]

DEFENDING NPMD

Time to defend nerdy prudes must die to some of you for not appreciating the utter masterpiece it is as my current hyperfixation.

"These teens aren't realistic they're caricatures" - Sure that could easily be true, and say it is true then it's a high school piece based on cliques/stereotypes that people don't necessarily fit into in reality? That doesn't make it bad, heathers and mean girls are classics at this point. But also I was 3 of these people in secondary. I had an anime phase and I was friends with weebs, they act exactly like richie, like...I told so many people "Believe It!" with a thumbs up. I even played a naruto song to classmates and talked about how he was my idol as a 13 year old...I cringe about that to this day but it's a REAL PHASE. Then we have Ruth who is so horny and desperate for love...literally my teenage life are you kidding? Especially with the theatre reenactments thinking I could do things if I didn't get anxious like...poor girl. I'd like to think I was Peter at one point, I have low blood sugar and like pokemon cards and got decent grades and had a bit of a need to prove myself? But I was probably closer to Grace like ya boi has religious suppressions but I'm catholic so clearly not a person of faith in Grace's eyes haha.

"There's too many rhymes - class of twenty twenty worn"

I think this was intentional? Well not really but also like it makes sense, Jeff said the reason for the snapping being wrong in bully the bully is because they're nerds and that's uncool in jazz which kinda leads me to believe this theory. Also the original lyric was "There's no way to fix the class of 2026" but had to change cause year. One of the songs that doesn't rhyme obsessively is "The Summoning" which is sang primarily by the lords in black as opposed to the high school kids. Now, I don't want to offend anyone but high schoolers are idiots. Everyone is an idiot but high schoolers tend to be egotistical idiots. My theory is the rhyming is sort of a meta commentary of the ages of these characters, believing that things should be rhyming because that's what they've been taught. It keeps the norm of the school also, it shows it fits the standard representation of schools in media and then symbolises this through the representation of a standard song. Whereas the lords in black have some off lyrics, off rhymes, especially here: "Nibbly wants a sacrifice And Wiggly wants his wrath We dancе around the pentagram And take all our kingdoms back" It doesn't fit the other rhymes that happen earlier on sang by the high schoolers. This could represent the lords in black are interfering with the norm, they're older and wiser and follow their own rules. "But screech what about hatchet town" they don't have the same power as the lords in black, the chaos and paranoia is getting to them but there is still more off rhymes than in others. "What are off rhymes what are you doing" A rhyme is like fart and smart. An off-rhyme is like fart "monster" and "Gone sir" it doesn't entirely rhyme but it has that feeling. There's probably a lot more fascinating things that you can get into with this "BUUUT Heathers did it without them sounding so cheesy and unaware" my answer to that is, heathers is fILLED WITH EMOS. Have you spoken to an emo? They'll go like "Even the roaring waves of the sea cannot mimic the immense drowning I feel by my emotions" like dude chill. NPMD doesn't have emos in it really...Everyone is really happy considering the situation.

"Who says cool beans anymore?" - This is the funniest criticism to me like, do you think Grace Chasity is supposed to represent a modern day view? She's the one who says it first! "Shoot and shinola", "tickle on my mommy spot" all that is fine by you but cool beans is outdated??? "But why do the others join herrr" ok well the obvious reason there is they're INSIDE A HAUNTED HOUSE WITH SOMEONE WHO IS VERY SUS AND THEIR WORST BULLY IS COMING AND ALSO GRACE IS THE ONLY ONE WITH THE KEY LIKE I WOULD JUST GO WITH THAT. But if not, nerds quote outdated memes all the time. "Excellent" reminded me of naruto the abridged series, like that's from 2008 but im still there. Or like the phandom are still simping for glabellas and onomatopoeic microwaves. The starkid fandom would never reference an old musical, the medallion said that was dumb so we're not doing that...wait Most valid stuff I've seen is about steph's characterisation which I can do a whole post about like mariah is phenomenal as always but there's a lot of telling not showing.

Also I'm back into starkid