#HATE doing the dishes.

[thatrandombystander]

Man whenever I end up moving out, I'm getting one of those countertop dishwashers.

[teaboot]

Me: I appreciate that you keep bringing me tupperware leftovers but you really really shouldn't, you're going to lose a lot of containers

My brother, handing me the 10 thousandth container of leftovers: Oh yeah I forgot to ask when are you bringing those back

Me: You don't want them back.

My brother: What did you do

Me: Better question: what did I NOT do

Him: ...

Me:

Him: Oh my god

Me: Yeah

Him: You haven't been WASHING THEM?

Me: Bruh I'll be honest I haven't even been eating most of them

Him: Oh my god

Him: I have been bringing you lunch since-

Me: Halloween

Him: OH MY GOD

Me: Yeah

Him: It's been- we JUST bought those containers

Me: I'VE BEEN TELLING YOU TO STOP

Him: WHAT THE HELL

Me: I HAVE TOLD YOU SO MANY TIMES TO STOP

Him: IF I DONT FEED YOU, YOU DONT EAT

Me: I AM AN ADULT I PACK FOOD

Him: WHAT FOOD

Me: I DONT KNOW, FUCKING. SPAGHETTI

Him: IN WHAT? IN WHAT? YOU DONT WASH YOUR FUCKING TUPPERWARE

Me: I DON'T *BUY* TUPPERWARE CAUSE I KNOW I WONT WASH IT

Him: WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU CARRY THE SPAGHETTI IN

Me: Bags

Him: What

Me: Ziplock fucking bags

Him: YOU'RE EATING SPAGETTI OUT OF BAGS

Me: IT'S LESS WASTEFUL

Him: HOW is it less wasteful? HOW?? You're throwing out a plastic bag every single day!

Me: It's better than throwing out tupperware!

Him: TUPPERWARE IS REUSABLE

Me: NOT IF YOU DONT WASH IT

Him: WHY THE FUCK NOT

Me: I DONT DO DISHES

Him: THE FUCK YOU MEAN YOU DONT DO DISHES.

Me: I hate doing dishes. You KNOW I hate doing dishes. I have ALWAYS HATED DOING DISHES you KNOW this

Him: WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN EATING OFF OF

Me: PLASTIC BAGS

Him:

Him: You're a fucking trash monster

Me: You wore the same pair of Shrek pants every day for two years

Him: When will you let that go

Me: I will never let it go

Me:

Me: ...thank you for the lasagna

[scaredii-cat]

come on, be senshible.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

I've never been more normal in my life.

[First] Prev <–-> Next

[pepp-love]

sort of a wip of a normal morning in 300 fox way

[upslapmeal]

"but Pyramids of Mars established that Sut-" my friend this is the three-separate-explanations-for-Atlantis show, as far as I'm concerned they can have a free-for-all when it comes to real-world mythology

"but they're ruining the canon!!" buddy I got good news for you, Doctor Who canon is a buffet and you don't have to eat anything you don't want to

[undead-potatoes]

Even if you hate all of these, pick the one you hate the most

[pretend-i-don-t-exist]

ok back to my sy as yang yixuan au bc the brainrot refuses to leave

Luo Binghe's shixiong and shijie do not like him. This is a fact.

Qing Jing Peak and Bai Zhan Peak have long-standing animosity with each other. This is also a fact.

Those two facts are the root cause of why Luo Binghe is desperately running away, ducking and weaving through the bamboo as four Bai Zhan disciples hunt him down during their raid.

He yelps when he trips over a portruding stone, landing harshly on his elbows. He's already scrambling away when one of the disciples grabs his arm, and punches him on the cheek.

Luo Binghe, with all the force he can muster, pushes him away and resumes running. It doesn't take long before he's cornered to a dead end, and he backs away, trying to find an exit.

He does not need to plan his escape any further when a boy– dressed in Bai Zhan blues and blacks, lands down silently in front of the disciples, and proceeds to solidly beat each and every one of them up.

He has them all giving up in just a few minutes.

"Ah, seriously..." this new boy— older than Luo Binghe, stronger and smarter, too— sighs, placing his hands on his hips. "None of you really listen, don't you?"

With one swift, practiced motion, he swings the four rambunctious disciples over his shoulder, looking unamused. "All of you are to present at the Hall of Reflection and copy down the scriptures fifty times, and I will personally oversee your training for the next two months," the boy says, authority dripping off of every inch of his body. "Seriously, you're lucky you haven't injured anyone or else you'll be facing a worse punish–"

The boy's eyes catch Luo Binghe's. Luo Binghe shrinks away, all too aware of the livid bruise on his cheek and the blood from his nose.

There is silence. Then there is a thud, and all the Bai Zhan disciples who came for the raid groan in unison. There are footsteps, and the boy is suddenly kneeling in front of him, his hands inexplicably tender and gentle.

The boy hisses at the sight of the bruise. "I apologize for my shidi and shimei," he says, soft. His hands are marred with callouses, strong and firm and powerful, but they are gentle when they touch Luo Binghe. "They are rowdy and a little feral after being left uncontrolled for too long. May I ask for shixiong's understanding?"

Shixiong? Luo Binghe nods, a little wide-eyed. The boy softens, perceptibly, and begins threading qi to his meridians. "This is to quicken your body's natural healing," he explains. "You should get it looked better, however– I can accompany you to Qian Cao Pe–"

"No!" Luo Binghe blurts out, cringing away. Da-shixiong's friends warned him against going to Qian Cao. He doesn't want to know what they'd do if he does go there.

A pause. "Very well." The boy stops his qi, finding the bruise to be sufficiently healed. He pulls out medicine from his sleeve, just like how his Shizun does. "This is for bruises, and this one for small cuts. All topical– externally applied on skin, not ingested. No, please don't worry, this is the least I can do."

Luo Binghe accepts the medicine under the boy's insistence. He cannot say anything, tongue heavy in his mouth, not to even ask for the boy's name or why he is helping him.

The boy rises to his feet. "Well," he says, hesitantly laying a hand on Luo Binghe's hair. Either he doesn't seem to notice the flinch or he ignores it, but that doesn't matter because the boy is– patting his head. Gently and softly, like he has not the power to defeat all of the disciples here in this clearing on Qing Jing Peak.

"We'll have to get going now," the boy says. "Don't worry, they will be reflecting on their actions and will be sincerely apologizing for them. Take care, shixiong."

With two disciples over his shoulder and two under his arm, the boy flies away on his spiritual sword. Luo Binghe clutches the medicine in his hands tighter, feeling the warmth of the boy's gentle hands lingering on his own, and tries to carve every line of the boy's face into his memory.

[powerfulkicks]

so many tips for budgeting/being frugal are just twice as hard when you have a disability

"meal plan!" idk if i'll be feeling well enough to cook every day so it's hard to plan for what to eat

"cook in advance!" i can't cook meals for a whole week at once and plus i can't count on that because again idk if ill feel okay to cook at the same time every week

"use cloth napkins and towels!" those need to be washed and folded, i already have trouble doing my laundry

"delivery is expensive, always shop in person!" going to the grocery store can wipe me out for the day.

"base your food shopping on whats on sale that week!" one, allergies are a thing and some people don't have that luxury, two, that's a lot that you have to prep for and that takes energy.

"DIY!" takes time and energy. maybe i could do it by myself but would it be worth all the time i need to take to recover?

i mean none of these are bad ideas or trying to exclude people. most of it is cutting out conveniences. but for disabled people, something that's a convenience for someone can be a necessity to others

[hypewinter]

Danny raises Superman au

So we all know that Superman touched down in Kansas and was adopted by the Kents and bla bla bla. But you know what state also has farms and is only like 600 miles away? Illinois.

So Danny is chilling in the countryside, enjoying his sweet, peaceful early retirement when an alien pod, that's a little a lot off course, suddenly crashes near his house. When he checks it out, there's a baby inside. Welp looks like he's a father now. No way is he risking the government getting their greedy little mits on this precious ray of sunshine.

Clark grows up with a father who teaches him early on how to control his powers and use them for good (They may or may not stop a robbery or two occasionally). He also gets two cool aunts. One is free spirited and always bringing him souvenirs from her travels. The other is very grounded and teaches him many techniques to deal with his conflicting emotions (his father is not happy when he uses said techniques on him).

Danny for his part is happy we his son develops a support system like he did. They can even actively help him beat up the villains! He's overjoyed at the man Clark becomes and even happier when he brings home an ace reporter who knows how shifty the government can be. He might be already saving up for their wedding but who can say?

[ethan-acfan]

Today's desmond headcanon is that after he left the farm and got used to everyday life, he needs music or background noise to function. Anytime he is working, he has his earbuds or headphones on. This is because, as a kid, he was taught to always be aware of his surroundings and to really pay attention to the noise around him, and even though he left, he was never able to kick that habit. So if he doesn't have background noise, he hears EVERYTHING. The creak of the building, the neighbors getting a glass of water, the manager talking to the tenets down the hall, etc. And because he never truly felt like his apartment was his own, and like he was an outsider, every noise made his heart rate spike, like he was about to be caught doing something he wasn't supposed to do.

One time, his headphones and earbuds died, and he was unable to function and was on the verge of a panic attack the entire time.

[fudgelling-away]

Little anomalies are inspired by @htsan awesome design! ♡

Part 2: [CLICK]

------------------

What will you do?

wash the dishes

tell him to kick rocks no, come on, don't be like that.

Come on, do the dishes. For Sans.

Vacuum the carpet. Mop the floor. Do the laundry.

Take the trashbags out. Guys, what are you doing? Take that one back in. That one stays.

Huh? What about me? Yes, he convinced me. Look at me breezing through the chores. Thanks Sans, I needed that.

angry clatter of dishes against the sink

Thank you very very much.

[somegrumpynerd]

@wickjump you will never not be an absolute genius

[necrotic-nephilim]

I am always thinking TimJay thoughts related to the fact that they have matching scars from getting their throats slit, and not only that, but Jason slit Tim's throat first in an attempt to threaten Bruce, where Tim was nothing more than a pawn for Jason to use to emotionally manipulate Bruce.

batman (1940) #618

And then, just a little while later when Jason is trying to confront Bruce and do his whole dramatic moment with Joker in UTRH, and Bruce slits Jason's throat to stop Jason from killing the Joker.

batman (1940) #650

It makes me so Unwell. They have literal matching scars. When do you think Jason realizes it? When do you think, while running his fingers over the scar he has to always remind himself that Bruce was willing to jeopardize Jason's own life just to save the Joker, Jason realized it was the same scar *he* gave Tim? And does it click for him too, that he and Tim are a lot alike? Being used as pawns in Bruce's game? And for the first time he maybe understands Tim Drake, just another kid trying to get Bruce's attention and approval? And Jason did to Tim exactly what Bruce did to Jason? And that's part of what spurns on Jason's obsession with Tim, trying to "save" Tim from Bruce's ideology?

When they finally get together does it make Jason even more possessive? He put that mark on Tim and now he has his own to match. It's the closest to being understood and loved he's ever felt when Tim runs his fingers over Jason's scar at the same time Jason touches Tim's. Mirrors of each other, in a fun, fucked up little way.

[a-bitch-made-fullmetal]

my personal headcanon is that Ed and Winry end up having four kids (inspired by that one excerpt from somewhere that stated they go on to have "several children" lmao), their firstborn a boy and the other three girls.

because let's be honest, Ed would ROCK the girl-dad life. my man's out there spoiling his little girls rotten and also teaching them to KICK ASS as any good father should <3

but I also think he has a special relationship with his son. he's too aware of how much a father can fuck a kid up, and he's terrified of continuing that cycle. even though he has no idea how to be a dad at first, never really having had one of those himself, he puts his all into it from the very start (and even before their first is born. that guy is the most annoying and sickeningly doting dad-to-be, especially when you're his pregnant wife).

by the time his first baby girl comes around, he's gotten the hang of parenting babies and toddlers. he's great at it! my man's 100% a house husband and stay at home dad, supporting his beautiful talented wife as she provides for them <3

but because his son is the oldest, there's always a certain learning curve involved in raising him; one the kid, whip smart as he is, notices more and more the older he gets. it strains their relationship a bit, even if it's still great overall, but that only makes Ed buckle down and try harder–making the kid feel a bit smothered. lol

Ed's relationships with his daughters just kind of... come easier for several reasons, but fuck, would he move heaven and earth for his boy.

it's a bit awkward sometimes. Ed tries so hard, too hard on occasion, and really struggles to let go as his son outgrows the stage of needing constant parental supervision (what if he's not there enough? what if he gives him too much space and the kid stops thinking he can rely on him and suddenly Ed has become the absent shitbag of a dad he swore he'd never be-)

but even if they're not always perfect, at the end of the day, his son knows how much his dad loves him-

and his kid loves Ed too. which really is everything Ed had ever hoped for as a dad.