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umgatochamadopercyval · 11 months ago

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AFTER A ETERNITY HERE I AM!

MORAL INJURY — a non-romance genshin impact series. ♫

act i, chapter ii "motherland."

➤ CHAPTER SYNOPSIS :: it is always cold in snezhnaya.

➤ CONTENT WARNINGS :: implied murder, implied violence/cruelty towards a child, implied kidnapping.

➤ WORD COUNT :: 2.8k.

➤ AUTHOR'S THOUGHTS :: CHAPTER 2 HELL YEAH 🗣🗣🗣🗣 sorry it took forever to publish this, please forgive me moral injury fans 😔🙏 a little note, be sure to click around on the words and symbols that are underlined at the top of this post! the word MORAL INJURY will take you to the series masterlist/navigation post, and the music note will take you to the spotify playlist.

➤ TAGLIST :: @zeldadou, @umgatochamadopercyval, @starryshinyskies, @www-brontide, @pookiebearcave, @lesanyanyas, @francisnyx. contact me through messages/asks/etc non-anonymously to be added.

The Motherland was always cold—that much was a given. It was the northernmost region of Teyvat, after all, always with multiple feet's worth of freshly-fallen snow blanketing the ground in the mornings and subzero temperatures—at the eternal winter's very worst—at night. Snezhnaya was always cold.

Carriage rides across the nation could be... mildly unpleasant for that very reason.

They had some privilege, so they got to sit inside of one rather than walk alongside it or drive it, but they did not have enough prestige to warrant one of the carriages with heaters. Those, very few in stock, were generally reserved for Harbingers.

The thought made them pout a bit. Surely being the direct assistant to one was enough to warrant at least some kind of comfort in their journeys? It wasn't like they were Tartaglia's assistant; that person surely had less privilege than they did. Though... now that they thought about it, that person probably got treated better than they did. Tartaglia was exceedingly more human than Dottore was, after all. Surely he didn't treat his agents like victims-to-be? Though, it was debatable how much of a "victim" he really viewed them as.

(They were once again reminded that they really should have transferred out of the Doctor's division. However, a mentally subhuman assistant was surely suited to a physically and mentally subhuman Harbinger. Perhaps that was why they've survived for as long as they have.)

Their situation was complicated; they would gladly be the first to admit that. Somehow, they were simultaneously the most at risk employee and the least at risk employee.

On one hand, Dottore would not kill them himself unless it was truly necessary. Wounding them? Sure. It happened... sometimes. Not often, but sometimes. It was more common for the younger segments to hurt them somehow (gods, they hoped they didn't run into Lord Beta today; they were far too preoccupied to entertain him). Experimenting on them? That was even less common, but it had happened. In recent years, though, there had not been another such significant incident.

In the past, it may have been worth transferring—they thought that, had their life gone in a different direction, they would have thrived under someone like Pantalone or Pierro, where most of their work would be in an office; boring, but easy—but nowadays, it was better that they didn't give up their position... largely for the sakes of their coworkers.

(Deep down, they knew that in their current state of being, they would be bored to death working under anyone else, but they preferred not to dig too deeply into that frightening truth.

A mind such as theirs was not designed for the menial, mindless work that the lowest ranked agents did—Il Dottore himself had said this to them a multiplicity of times. They don't like to think about it, for under what conditions might Dottore feel the need to say something like that?

...They don't like to think about it.)

Maybe they were just never destined to be Tartaglia's or anyone else's assistant.

It was still cold; their lamenting changed nothing, but they sincerely wished it had. The chill settled in their bones reminded them of their lack of privilege. Maybe if they just gathered up their courage and asked, they would be able to secure a heated carriage...

They couldn't linger too much on those thoughts as their transport pulled to a stop. Absentmindedly, they tugged their coat closer to their body to block out the chill as they were escorted out and into Haeresys.

They nodded in polite acknowledgement to the agents who'd escorted them, wordlessly dismissing them once their task had been completed.

Now, they stood face-to-face with one of their older coworkers. He'd been around for a while. Sometimes they morbidly wondered who between the two of them would die first—someone was bound to.

It probably wouldn't be them, as arrogant as that may have sounded.

"Krupp."

Krupp was a man prone to error. It was a wonder how he'd lived so long, anyway. Could they really be blamed for thinking about such morbid things? It was common for the Second's employees to die or go "missing." It was only natural, then, for them to wonder what would eventually come of Krupp's life. Would he live? Would they live? Even they could admit that it was genuinely anyone's guess.

"[Surname]."

They only stared blankly at him for a moment, before groaning. "Ugh... okay. What did you do this time? Is it something I need to cover up?"

He raised his arms defensively at their blatant accusation. "Nothing this time, I swear."

""This time,' he says. Right. Good that you're self-aware. Well, then..." they prompted, eyebrow twitching in vague annoyance when he didn't get the hint. "What is it? I don't have all day. I have to do routine maintenance on Lord Sixth soon."

"Yeesh, good luck."

"You know, I hope you become Lord Beta's next experiment."

He frowned. "That's not funny, [Surname]."

"...Yeah, okay. You're right. That was kind of... yeah. Sorry," they admitted apologetically, hand raking through their hair habitually. A deep sigh left their lips. "Sorry. I didn't mean that, I've just gotten really desensitized to these things. I'm surprised you haven't. Anyway, what is it that you needed from me?"

"Hmph, fine. Apology accepted." Their eyes were practically about to roll out of their skull at his smugness. He quickly changed topics: "They brought in someone from Sumeru. A girl with Eleazar."

"So I heard. Lord Dottore was muttering to himself about something like that, but I didn't ask."

"Right. Well, she's uncooperative, so they called for you since... you know, the test subjects all seem to like you. You're nice. She's also supposed to transfer under your care after she leaves this place."

"I wouldn't call myself nice, but thanks, I guess," they muttered, peering into the one-sided glass window that displayed the inside of the confined room she was in.

A little girl was in there, cowering in the corner.

A little girl.

That was a child.

Immediately, they tensed up. "How old is she?"

They've seen children be brought into this horrid, ugly part of the world many times before... but their reaction never changed.

"I don't see why that's important. She's going to be taken back to the main lab regardless."

Something in their chest snapped at his nonchalance. The glare they then shot him was one of the sharpest he'd seen in his time—he immediately recoiled, stammering and stumbling over his words. He was fawning. They had seen him do it a few times with other higher-ups, including Lord Beta.

It wasn't as if they were going to tear his throat out. It just annoyed them how vague he was, how nonchalant he was, but perhaps he no longer could tell the difference between mild annoyance and murderous intent.

Understandable, they supposed. The line did tend to blur after a few years under Dottore's employmemt.

"How old is she?" they asked again after taking a deep breath and gathering their composure. This time, their tone came out far more calm and collected than it had before.

It was not his fault. He did not bring her to Haeresys, so there was no point in snapping at him for it.

The shift in their tone seemed to reduce some of the tension in their coworker's shoulders. "Pretty sure she's eight, or around that age, at least."

"Archons above..." They cursed under their breath. "She's so young, what— what the hell is she doing here?"

'Where are her parents?' they wanted to ask, but bit their tongue. Knowing how the Fatui worked... they were probably dead.

In a way, they also knew the answer to why she was here; children were known to recover far faster than adults. They'd observed that phenomenon over and over and over again within the years of their employment. If any test subject ever caused trouble, it was probably someone under the age of twelve or someone who was brought in when they were that young. The older the subjects got, the weaker they grew.

"How should I know?" he scoffed, drawing their drifting attention back to him with a wave directly in front of their face. If it had been anyone else, they might have been annoyed, but they were unfortunately used to his behavior. "I don't know, [Name]. Why would I? You think Lord Beta trusts me like that? I'm not as high-ranked as you are. If anyone would know, it should be you. All I know is that she's going to be under your care."

A deep sigh left through their nose, but the more that they thought about it...

"You said she's an Eleazar patient?"

"Yep. Her scars are bad, too."

"Oh..." They pondered for a moment. "...Hmm. Now that I think about it, I do have an idea about what she's here for." They tapped their fingers on their thigh briefly in a nervous fidget, before sighing once again. "Well? Are you planning on letting me in?"

"Well, since you asked so nicely." Despite his blatant sarcasm, he obliged and fidgeted with the locks for a moment. When they released with a hiss, he backed off, but not before handing them a small medical kit. They took it from him, absently noting that she must have been wounded and refused to be treated. "Go ahead."

"Thanks."

When they stepped in, the door slammed shut behind them. It wasn't unexpected, but it was unsettling nonetheless. They were a bit morbidly grateful that the girl was such a small child; they wouldn't have to fight tooth and nail with her like they had done so many times before with taller and stronger subjects.

Upon their entry, she immediately shuffled impossibly further into the corner, eyes blown wide with terror.

"G— go away! Don't touch me!"

"Hey, hey... shh, it's alright. I won't touch you if that isn't what you want," they soothed, settling on situating themselves on the floor a few feet away from the trembling girl. They offered a kind smile to her.

She sobbed into her hands. "Please leave me alone... get out of here!"

A bit of blood was soaking through her tattered clothes. They stifled a scowl—any negative expression they made would only scare her more, but... Archons above, would it kill their coworkers to be at least a little gentle with her? They made a mental note to... discuss their carelessness with them.

After all, if they hurt her badly enough, she'd die.

That would inconvenience Dottore, so... technically, it was within their area of concern. Surely they couldn't be written up for aggression towards and potential violence against their allies—after all, they would only have been doing their job!

For now, though, they needed to focus on this poor girl and her evident wound.

"Honey, you're bleeding."

"I don't care! Go away!"

"Please let me look. I promise I won't hurt you. I just want to see."

"No, no," she cried, trembling furiously like a leaf in the wind. "Please, please just leave me alone..."

A deep silence settled momentarily, only filled by the girl's weak cries and sniffles. She was the first to break it.

"I don't want to die."

"That won't happen," they reassured. It was... more or less of a lie.

It went quiet again. The girl wordlessly shifted, moving a bit out of the corner. They took that as their sign to approach her. Any movements they made were gentle and purposeful as to not frighten her further or rile her up again.

When they finally got close enough to her, their fingers moved skillfully and quickly, rolling her shirt up just enough to expose the wound on her side. She winced when the cool air hit it.

"Shh, you're okay... what's your name?"

"It's... um— my name is Collei."

They smiled kindly, taking out a small tube of antibacterial ointment from the kit handed to them by their coworker and lathering her cut with it. "Hi, Collei. I'm [Name], okay? I'm going to be responsible for you from here on out."

Now that they were closer to her, they could see the tears glistening in her eyes.

Despite her fear, she nodded. The kindness in their face soothed her. It was as if they were an angel descended from the heavens specifically to protect her. It was so, so impossibly hard not to trust such a compassionate face.

"Okay."

After wrapping her wound in gauze tight enough so that it would not unravel but loose enough to nor cause her any discomfort, they allowed her shirt to fall back into place.

Their hand dared to gingerly reach towards her face; it was not particularly surprising when she flinched back with the smallest, hardly perceptible whimper. Any movement halted. They simply waited to see if she would initiate the contact that they had attempted or if she would continue to reject it.

Then, she slowly—hesitantly—relaxed, some of the tension leaving her body as she leaned forward.

The smile they had offered her remained, it even grew a bit, as their fingers softly brushed some of the hair away from her face. It was perhaps akin to what a parent might do to soothe their frightened child. A hint of melancholia could be seen in their expression, but Collei was quite possibly too young to properly understand the wistful sadness they held.

She did recognize that they were sad in some way. Maybe that was why she was so inclined to trust them—their emotions were tangible.

"I have to leave, alright?" they murmured to her. "Some people are going to come later and take you somewhere else. Please let them. They won't hurt you if you listen, okay? And if they do, you tell me, because they absolutely are not permitted to use unnecessary force."

"An— and I'll see you again?"

"Yeah, of course. I'm very busy, so it might be a few days until you do, but you will. Try to be patient, okay?"

"...Okay."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot! written by aphelion & banner by @www-brontide. do not plagiarize, copy, ai train, or otherwise use my work -☆

#writing is flawless as ever #Collei my precious #haaaaaaaaa #Krupp u deserved every single robot piece hammed into you #I have very complicated feelings for Name #ADDI KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK

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