#Guys i kin alhaitham like hes so me

[marieisnothere12]

💀

[angelismmm]

＋ random thoughts i have that i wanna say before i explode and go on a break again LOL, warning. nsfw, a lot of it, i dont have the effort to put specific ones, oh btw sex

⟣ the mfs who look like sex gods but definitely dont have experience, one look at them and they look so beautiful, but probably have 0 relationship experience, example? diluc, xiao, alhaitham, they look like they good at sex, wrong, super wrong. all three have terrible social skill too LMAO, probably medium dicks honestly, not average, but above average. maybe 5-6 inches, mfs probably switch leaning to sub, lowkey terrible at dominating, like be honest w me they probably have 0 sexual intereaction other than masturbationnnnn..... ⟣ maybe most of the genshin guys are virgins honestly, like some look like they fuck on the daily, when they in reality don't, im implying kaeya and childe, high sex drive but 0 sex lol. but probably both like being degraded. get rly turned on probably by getting pegged, they think it's hot whn ur in control. like grip his waist hard while pegging him, the thought gets him creaming in his pants ong, specifically likes the pet name slut tho

⟣ probably likes their hair being pulled while being pounded from behind, like all fours and pulling his hair, prolly likes choking too. — venti, kaeya, kaveh, aether ⟣ if you ask venti to wear the twink archon outfit he has during sex he probably will do it, kazuha probably takes off the bondage thingy around his hands to finger you, respectively, those things probably dirty asf too LMAOO, scaramouche probably lowkey likes being humiliated, super brat too, like really really bratty. probably likes being risky and intimate fr, aether likes praise, a lot, like a lot a lot, like tell him his body is so perfect, and he's being the best boy for you rn, literally would cum untouched ⟣ punishing dottore like the brat he is, tie him to a chair, gag him, and fuck his clone, overstimulate it and everything, just do it infront of the poor baby till he realizes he was wrong for being bratty

⟣ tattoo artist!scara fingering you while you face the wall. as he whispers dirty talk in your ear, at his work place. being risky turns him on so much too, probably after that he'd start spreading your legs, designs painted across his skin, giving kitten licks across your sensitive clit, nothing sent more shivers down your spine. edging you and eating you out would be his favorite, the piercing on his tongue made it feel way better too.

⟣ mafia! fatui members and you're the cute secretary they take their frustration out on, respectfully, but threesomes aren't uncommon, dottore & pantalone tag team; eiffel tower position, dottore probably doesn't really care after sex, but pantalone does help you clean and stuff lol, dottore; 5.768 flaccid, 8.192 hard, pretty girthy, pantalone; 5.437 flaccid, 7.863 hard, not as girthy, but it does pack a punch. scaramouche & childe tag team; probably that one position where one is touching ur nips n stuff, and the other is fucking ur hole, i guess lmao, both pretty caring after sex, probably will fuck again in the shower, because why not lol, childe: 4.537 flaccid, 6.546 hard, not that girthy, length makes up for it, scaramouche: 4.576 flaccid, 7.134 hard. the biggest (and most painful) for last; pierro & capitano tag team; anything that you can handle bro wtf, they'll try to be gentle, rough sex isn't all that rare with them, really into overstimulating you, not really on purpose though, like i promise, both really like it when you sit on their face, pierro; 6.492 flaccid, 9.543 hard, capitano; 6.543 flaccid, 9.345 hard, lowkey they are pretty good at aftercare, they care about you hhahaheheh, they really wanna know if you're okay, lowkey apologize for degrading you during the heat of the moment.

⟣ alhaitham & kaveh tagteam; big fans of the eiffel tower positions, both met you through a cafe, you and alhaitham had the same interest in book themes, kaveh and you both liked the same kind of coffee, you guys probably go on dates together to the same cafe you met in :D, maybe library dates aren't that uncommon either, fucking between the bookshelves isn't either! both probably have no shame in it either, the librarian is probably too tired and goes im not paid enough for this. one praises, one degrades, thats kaveh and alhaitham, but overall they're super good boyfriends, 100% the best aftercare ever, always making sure ur ok n everything bro.

♡ maybe, maybe ill make full fics for each thought here

[silvernyxchariot]

Why I think Alhaitham is demisexual

Summary: Alhaitham shows respect and care to Kaveh, the only person he views as his intellectual equal, the person we can say was his first/closest friend, and roommate (˵ ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°˵). I'm not elaborating further on that ship because it has been done to death by... EVERYONE./nm But Alhaitham also seemed to respect or even admire Dehya and her conviction/personality.

First, define "demisexual" for me. Let us ask for help from Wikipedia. Let's add Dictionary./com too.

The way I describe it from my own experience to make it easier to understand is "If you command my respect, I may find you attractive. How attractive is dependent on how our relationship unfolds."

We already know the Kavetham ship. So, I'll explain this next one. I'm pretty sure I'm the only one who saw it. Alhaitham openly praises Deyha for her fierceness and straightforward personality in hopes of persuading her to work at the Akademiya. If I remember correctly, this was around the time in the Archon Quest where the group was looking for the lost elders of Aaru Village. He seemed disappointed when she declined his proposal. It's more forward in his voice-over for her:"It's a waste for such a capable person to remain among the Eremites. If only she'd consider my suggestion to join the Akademiya... Our work would become a lot easier with someone like her around, but a predictable life isn't exactly her cup of tea — I can understand that. *sigh* What a pity."

Take into consideration the Alhaitham haters' point of view,

"He's boring,"

"He's so unsympathetic,"

"He's a cold jerk."

First off, are you all like five years old? C'mon now. Think of something more creative. And intelligent. Back to the point, a lot of his voice-overs are neutral for other characters. Ex. Talking about Tighnari but only in relation to Kaveh (the person he's actually close to), talking about being guilt-free of the hivemind case in Cyno's, and for Nilou he only states she lives simply because she does what she loves. It was two whole sentences 😱./dramatic When all of that is considered, it's safe to say that Alhaitham doesn't praise anyone, not even the Sages who are technically his bosses. So, for someone to impress him, especially someone that he normally wouldn't work with, it is a gargantuan feat.

A guy like Alhaitham, he just wants to be left alone to study his silly little runes and read funky texts. Who needs love and relationships, am I right; burdensome things. Essentially, he minds his own business. For Alhaitham to INVITE someone into his space (his home in Kaveh's case and his workplace in Dehya's case), in a way, it's a show of his interest in said person. If that interest were to go further, well, please refer to the third sentence in the highlighted picture above for demisexual. In the end, that's why I think Alhaitham is demisexual.

And also, I kin Alhaitham... You can't lie to me, boy. I can SEE you. I could also tell you were ACTING.

On a side note, Alhaitham also has thing for Claymore users. Kaveh, Deyha, and myself.*

Looking less at empirical evidence and more intuition, when choosing the weapon for my Genshin persona who is in a poly relationship with Kavetham, ofc, it was between sword and claymore. I chose claymore without thinking about this cute little implication. I'm also just used to characters with big swords.

*If your first thought was a child claymore user i.e. Dori. You're a pedophile. Thank you, siyhnoh, for outing yourself. DNI.

[heizlut]

What are your favorite and least favorite genshin men?

thanks for asking!! i’ll even try to give some actual reasoning for my choices lol

faves: (this is gonna be a long one lmao)

Heizou- (obviously) the way he flirts is so hot. he’s really such a big tease

Kaeya- that man is PACKING. like is it really necessary to wear pants that tight? (not that i’m complaining tho👀)

Albedo- the ultimate rizzler. the true husbando collector. not even lyney can reach the level of rizz he has

Aether- i go feral over him and his slutty little waist UGH love him. i even mained him up until i pulled wanderer in 3.8 (i think i was also AR48 at the time so aether has spent the most time on my team)

Dottore- look i know this man is a fucking monster but as the saying goes “if evil, why hot?”. i would let him experiment on me fr

Xiao- emo babie. i love him so much, he makes me feel so many things all at once

Scaramouche/Wanderer- look, i have a huge degradation kink so i think this is self explanatory LMFAO if he stepped on me, i would thank him. pretty sure he will be my main all the way to the end of the game tbh

Diluc & Alhaitham- there’s something about a serious, emotionally unavailable man that really gets me going

Kaveh- BABYGORL POOKIE PRINCESS!!! i kin him. i love him. i would do anything to make him happy 🥺

Venti & Itto- they bring out the dom side of me fr i want to ruin them in the best way possible (but if they decide to dom, holy shit, on my knees immediately)

Gorou & Tighnari- they awakened something within me. i read one rut/knot fic and i went feral ever since

Cyno- he falls into the emotionally unavailable and stoic man category. he’s so pretty though and i would definitely unironically laugh at all his jokes, im pretty easy to entertain

Wriothesley- his idle animation where he twirls his handcuffs? oops suddenly i’m a criminal in need of restraining

EDIT: Kazuha: how could i forget my other sweet boi. i cherish him so much

least fav:

Baizhu: idk something about him is off to me. also he coughs a lot and it’s gross lmao also his snake pisses me off hahah i just don’t like her attitude

Neuvillette: i hate to be that person i’m so sorry. yes he’s very pretty and is an amazing character, i just find him to be… kinda boring? idk what i expected. normally he would probably fall into the stoic, emotionally unavailable category but he’s like too stoic and serious in such a way that makes him boring to me

Lyney: i have a love hate relationship with this man. i love how forward he is when he’s flirting and he’s quite nice to look at but again there’s just something about him that i just don’t like. idk i feel like he’s very self absorbed in way.

Dainsleif: another love hate relationship. he’s so mysterious and pretty but the way he barely gives any crumbs when he gets screentime annoys me lol

Pierro: he’s hot i guess but like idk how to explain what i’m trying to say without sounding fucking insane lmfao i guess he just reminds me of an evil santa claus HAHAHA

Childe: realistically he and i would probably get along the best out of any of the guys listed (beside kaveh). we’re very similar in personality but he’s only part of the least fav category because he’s kinda cringey lmao i mean that in an endearing way but also in the way that i want to strangle him (although he would probably be into that lol) also his stupid little jacket makes me mad, why does it look like that. I appreciate the tummy window but i think he would’ve looked way better in some kind of button down with a chest window 🤷🏻‍♀️

[genpact-kinfessions]

queue too empty so im filling it up for mod lyney. you're welcome loser ❤️ (please don't flame me lyney knows who i am im not just some stranger insulting them)

ANYHOW i have a lot of kin stories and im gonna periodically share a few of those here. by which i mean whenever i can bring them to mind again cos i am a teeeeensy bit forgetful. lol. lmao. roflcopter, perchance(🎹 you can't just say perchance!)

i distinctly remember after cyno became part of our(my & tighnari's) relationship, he was like. SO cuddly. like whenever one of us were around he'd be hanging off us like a leech. but like in a cute way y'know? like a cute leech...... that feels like an oxymoron but like whatevs x

this became pretty normal and we knew he was just Like That. however when he joined haitham Did Not(also before anyone asks wandy was also added to the polycule around this time)

so i literally walk into our(haitham & i's) house to find cyno with his arms around haitham's waist, dead asleep, while haitham looked genuinely HORRIFIED. LIKE ACTUALLY TERRIFIED but in the same way someone would be scared about like. waking up a sleeping cat by moving. and he just Looks at me like im gonna do anything about it??? lol no cyno needs that nap. suffer ❤️

siiiigh i miss them a lot but it is what it isss 😓 least i can reminisce and shit right? so not half bad

I FORGOT TO ADD MY TAG LYNEY. PLEASE ADD IT FOR ME IN POST I'M STUPID — 🎹

That sounds really sweet and also ridiculously funny, I can almost picture Alhaitham's horror. Silly silly guy /lh

[fictionkinfessions]

For medicanons:

I was Autistic as Razor (both normal and the au tls) as Alhaitham, and as Dottore (all tls). As Im fairly certain I am in this life.

And for sure had adhd in several other tls, possibly in the ones mentioned above too.

Now for some thoughts on the mentioned kins.

Most people already hc Razor as autistic, so if I ever wanted content its certainly out there. Theres not much to say here. It simply Was(tm)

But.

Ngl I feel bad about it for Dottore! Feels like bad stereotypical representation. (Where alhaitham feels like good "stereotypical" rep) Like cmon. The evil guy who turned himself into dozens of robots and has no empathy because he hates humanity is autistic? Wow great job definitely not problematic. 🙄 But at least I know the feeling is my own purity culture rotted brain trying to make me feel bad. Not any. Actual problems.

Anyway for Alhaitham. Most people hc me as autistic. I mean its basically canon with how Im written lets be honest. But I wish people who disagree with the hc would stop acting like we hc this to "excuse his treatment of Kaveh"??? Excuse me? Nobodys excusing it. We're fucking explaining why it exists despite them clearly being best friends you absolute dolt. Maybe dont act like autism is an excuse for shitty behavior??? Wtf man.

~🕯♟️

[yupuffin]

It just hit me. When I talk to my siblings, I *feel* like Alhaitham, but I SOUND LIKE ORORON. Oh my goodness, I sound SO much like him. And I feel like the mannerisms match because I can see Ororon being the kind of guy whose affect goes completely flat when he's uncomfortable, but if he's content he will text with SO MANY emoji. Sometimes still with a flat affect.

Alhaitham is the kin I think I am and have evidence to back it up, but Ororon is the kin where the harder I try to deny it the more accurate it gets. I am not beating the Ororon kinnie allegations.

I don't "kin" per se, but nothing makes me feel more like an Alhaitham kinnie than interacting with my siblings.

Alhaitham demonstrably values honesty and dignity (see: seeking Traveler's consent before agreeing to work with them) and is keenly understanding of others' viewpoints even when he disagrees, yet is misconstrued as inconsiderate and hateful due to his flat affect, direct and rational mannerisms, and his fervent defense of his personal boundaries. I think there's some confirmation bias involved from other characters' perspectives, in the sense that their inclination to perceive him as a selfish jerk leads them to misunderstand his neutral behaviors as personal affronts (I think there's something about him rejecting and critiquing people's research proposals when he's the Acting Grand Sage? which is. literally his job), further reinforcing the initial perception.

Likewise, my brain processes logic-based information WAY more effectively than emotional input, which gives me a flat affect. And, understandably given their situations, my siblings are pretty hypervigilant of people taking advantage of them, but I've observed the same sort of confirmation bias (corroborated by specific conversations I've had with them) whereby their inclination to look out for someone, for example, trying to insult them or do things behind their backs leads them to misinterpret innocuous cues as malicious actions and to draw dubious connections among unrelated instances and thereby misconstrue them as harmful behavioral patterns, again, further reinforcing their initial perceptions.

I also want to say that there's confirmation bias involved from MY perspective, too, because my interpretation of Alhaitham's character is so strongly and perhaps cyclically rooted in my experiences as a neurodivergent person, which might render my argument logically flawed, but I also feel like that level of analysis alone is very Alhaitham-esque and hence actually validates my supposition. 😂

It also feels a bit incongruous, because around people I feel comfortable socializing with I think I'm more expressive and I'm told I'm very kind and supportive, but I think we see a little bit of that in Alhaitham, too, in how his behavior towards the Traveler subtly changes as he spends more time with them, albeit perhaps not to the same degree.

[probably-haven]

Anyways continuing the Sumeru quest

Alhaitham just showed up

"Even the archons used war to negotiate the ownership of teyvat" is such a line that I need to remember

Lmao "canned knowledge" why would they called it that it makes it sound like you have to eat it pffft

Oh wait that's actually cool af

So dendro is like raw brain power lol God this lore is tasty

Can I take all the canned knowledge shits please my life junkie brain would explode

"The Architectural Styles and Construction Methods of Teyvat in the Early Archon War Period" istg anything archon war related I wish the game worked like that damn-

"Wisdom of the gods" sounds ominous- isn't that why khaenriah was smited

Oh damn someone's angry- wtf is this

Oooo the Akasha symbol is red

We just gonna sit here and let this guy get beat up?

Omg flippy boy

That's not ominous at all

Wow he just lied to our face mf

And then he pulls the capsulebout in broad daylight? Daaamn

Imagine they're pulling the festival for lesser Lord Kusanali and she just falls out of the sky dead liyue style

Dunyarzad banner when?

DEHYA!!!

omg they're so close. Them. They're everything

"My guardian knight" JSBDKDJDBFMDK

If dunyarzad dies istg- still on guard for teppei 2.0

OMG THE NPC IN THE BACK JUST SAID "what's so good about snezhnayan toys anyway" is that a childe joke?

I love illusion. Please be a literal meaning.

Rip this guy's mustache

Omg are we gonna see Dehya in action???

Damn that works too

AWWW DEHYA SHE CARES SO MUCH OMG SHE'S SO SWEET

DUNYARZAD- OMG THEY'RE LOVELY

Rippp I called it but ouch

Double ouch

GIVE HER A VISION OML

Fuck the law let her dance

well fuck you too that's bull

Omfg these guys are dicks.

You realize there's such thing as art history and dance history

Wow these guys really set up as villains can I kill them?

What the actual fuck is wrong with these guys-

Oh she doesn't think she's gonna live that long- it at least be able to move

Traveler not a morning person confirmed?

TRIPPY TIME SHIT TRIPPY TIME SHIT DOSHSNSLDISHDNDKFI

DREAM SEQUENCE OR ILLUSION OMG I LOVE LIFE

Lmao I have a feeling we dreamed it but imagine if it was just that someone canned knowledged us in our sleep

It doesn't even look bad wtf? See!

Anyway it's funny cuz I'm not a picky eater and will eat and enjoy almost anything but I'm a preferenced eater and given the choice will eat the same five things forever

Omg this I trippy. Maybe it's Irminsul shit lol

Lol they really said choose but not choose

IS THAT THE GRIM REAPER

I hate my sense of humor

Omg this trippy shit is lovely

Awww her little clover pupils

Oooo this contemplation thing sounds fun

Awwww she felt her there!! Please I need a Dehya banner

Didn't we already know the Akasha was gnosis powered tho?

Honestly if anyone could expose this- I wouldnt doubt that it'd be Dehya

Well fuck

"I'm the moon" omg that's so clever

We did not already break free the fuck? Why would you jump to that conclusion- it's just that she had memories now of his to use the greatsword we've been doing different stuff each day so can she

All this philosophy discussion

Exactly!!! Thank you Dehya! Like the food merchant would notice if his stuff wasn't fresh I think 1 day and 40 days would look different

Damn fighting smarts

Braincersize sounds like jazzersize and that's funny to me

TRAVELS VOICE LINE

Oh no they're separated damn that's sad

poor paimon omg

Well damn that's a convenient time to cut off

Wow I thought that was an association option earlier but it wouldn't let me submit ppl not dreaming as a conclusion so I thought I was wrong rip

Is this an anti-capitalist metaphor wtf?

So my simulation guess wasn't too far off

Anyway this contemplation thing is giving me danganronpa trial flashbacks

Damn teppei 2.0 I hate that I called that bit

Wow am I about to kin this child of an archon? Omg that's unfortunate

I guess Dunyarzad banner never

Rip Vihar he ain't gonna be happy

ANGRY TRAVELER ANGRY TRAVELER

hehe paimon saw it

Anyways it's totally Nilou which is why she can't dance cuz if she does she's gonna summon flowers or some shit. Please this has to be what it is I would die happy

They're totally gonna bring Dunyarzad back right! Yeah yeah totally

This is painful

Do we get to beat these guys up now?

Oh my god yes!!! Please cutscene this-

Here we go. KDBDODJD YES

DUNYARZAD!!!

She lives! Also wtf is Katherine doing there

Anyways tea I'mma call it for this post here.