#Guys I never reblog things about politics but this is a Current Action that we can take Right Now to hopefully change things | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dvasva · 7 months ago

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I have a sincere question.

How will not voting for Biden help? Threatening not to hasn't worked to make him do anything to stop this monstrosity and I'm sure Trump will be (however slightly) worse.

I'm just wondering what you're proposing as a solution here? Are you just saying that it's selfish or something to care about how much worse things will get in the us while there's a genocide going on, or is there some alternative to voting for Biden that will actually help because I want to help whatever I can to stop the genocide.

/genuine

I'm gonna be genuine and honest when I say this; at this point, if you don't already dislike Biden and feel the same way I do, I doubt anything I will say will convince you one way or another, and I can tell your question is coming from this fearmongering rhetoric that was born during the 2020 election of 'Vote Blue no matter who', that I didn't agree with back then and I definitely don't agree with now.

I'm gonna level with you right up top, answer your question first, tell you what I think about all of this, even though it's not the most cheery thing. I don't think there's anything that will make things better. I think we are living in a rotting corpse that is like at most 6 months away from exploding from the built up pressure of gasses. I honestly don't know why you even asked me of all people. I can only really support community outreach, community building and mutual aid to mitigate the inevitable harm this whole clusterfuck, either way, will cause to the most vulnerable people, and can only urge you to do the same. We cannot have any political action until people start building community outside of online spaces. That is the biggest flaw of modern leftist political praxis, the lack of community. This is why the college protests are fantastic, because it is a small scale general strike amongst students, with people organizing and providing mutual aid to make organizing easy for the most amount of people possible. That's my solution. Mutual aid.

And, despite how I feel about questions like this, (especially considering aside from a few replies in various posts, and a generally active reblog and tag life about Palestine and Biden, I haven't made any original posts about this and I'm like... a rando with like less than 200 followers, so it's weird that you're coming to me with this question) I will treat this like a genuine question.

That being said, I did vote for Biden in 2020, despite my reservations. So, anything that happened during his presidency puts blood on my hands as much as anything.

I'll kind of start with saying that I am a hispanic, mexican, nonbinary person with a uterus and disabilities from Texas. My current governor is Greg Abbot and a lot of the most heinous conservative bills and debates regarding immigration, police, free speech, lgbt issues, abortion, etc, have taken place in my state where I live, and I am distantly related to Linda Coffee, one of the Roe v. Wade lawyers.

So, I'm not like. Some cishet white guy from Wisconsin who has never seen or witnessed oppression and who doesn't have any stake in any of this, and thinks the edgiest thing I can do is not participate in the system.

I come at this issue from multiple angles, and these are not like... the official political opinions of everyone who has ever agreed with me, this is just mine.

To start with, 1. I'm still voting in local and state elections, and 2. I don't believe in rewarding bad behavior. You said 'Threatening to not vote for him hasn't done anything to change his behavior' and so I'm going to carry through with my threat. Consequences and all that. Not that it really matters what I vote in presidential elections anyways. I live in Texas, a winner take all state. As we have seen multiple times, the popular vote is meaningless, and the only thing that matters is the electoral college. Texas is gerrymandered to all hell, and it's districts are drawn in a way that will always favor republicans. Until our corrupt ass state can finally manage, by some fluke, to vote in a non-republican who is actually willing to redistrict the state and prevent gerrymandering (which they wont do cause they're all chickenshit), all of Texan electoral college votes will go to the Republican candidate. I know we're not supposed to say our vote doesn't matter cause 'every little bit helps' but my vote literally does not matter in a real, tangible, way.

I know a lot of people are scared of having their rights stripped away, sure, but none of you have listened to POC, especially to POC living in southern states. All of this stuff that Trump is threatening? The more police, the border stuff, anti-trans bills, abortion? It's already happening in this country. I don't have abortion rights, I don't have freedom of speech on college campuses, I don't have a right to form a new union, I don't have trans rights, and if the police wanted to, they could pull over anyone in my family and arrest and deport them simply because of the color of their skin, regardless if they're actually an immigrant or not. Cop Cities are popping up around the world, the police is militarized and think it's ok to violently arrest peaceful protesters on college campuses. Meanwhile, the rich keep getting richer. Rafah was invaded last night, tanks placed on the border preventing anyone from leaving into Egypt anymore, and all the while the richest fuckers in this entire country, many of whom have voiced open and intense support for Israel, all met up with their tickets that cost 75k to take pictures in their pretty outfits and ignore the ongoing genocide.

All of this stuff is already happening regardless of who's in charge, and the only difference between Trump and Biden, to be honest? Northern Liberals will actually care about what's happening if Trump is in office. If Trump did everything that Biden did, there would be mass outrage about Palestine from every single Vote Blue No Matter Who person who's around. It's easy to blame the people whose rights have already disappeared for the threat that your rights might disappear as well. This Vote Blue No Matter Who thing is a cry for comfort. It is the people who are not feeling the effects of the crumbling empire we live in crying out, screaming 'Let me feel the comfort for a little bit longer, I don't want to be subjected to the things that others are already subjected to! I just want to be comfortable for a little bit longer!' And I honestly am not interested in voting for white northern comfort just because the other guy is threatening to take that away too.

And you are right. I do think it's selfish to try to focus on your own comfort while ignoring the active genocide of Palestinians, the ethnic cleansing being done with American Money, the thing that puts blood on every taxpayers hands, a true example of Taxation without Representation. Palestine is not the sacrificial lamb that we are entitled to trample over to ensure that we are comfortable. To think so is so monstrously dehumanizing, to say 'I can't focus on that cause I have to worry about me' while actively funding it. That's the biggest catching point for me. We have a responsibility to oppose Biden, to not vote for him and to actively call for him to step down and allow a different person to run, if not dismantling the system entirely, because this blood is on our hands.

Other people have said a lot more clever things about this than me, but Palestinian oppression is directly linked to all oppression around the world. Police in the US train with IOF soldiers, use the same methods on american citizens as IOF use on Palestinian citizens. This is not a case of 'two random countries that have nothing to do with us duke it out'. Israel is acting with the direct and explicit blessing of Joe Biden and the United States Government. He is, even for the standards of Democrats who like to say pretty words while bombing brown people, a warmonger. Like, violently so. Biden is legitimately more dangerous than anyone is giving him credit for, and is actively and openly funding blatant and obvious war crimes. That should honestly get him arrested and tried in an international criminal court.

Anyhow, that's all that from an American perspective. If you wanna really figure out what to do to help, seek out voices who actually know what they're talking about instead.

I recommend Imani Barbarin:

Also, check out my pinned post for ways you can provide a bit of support or learn more about the active ongoing genocide and ethnic cleansing of Palestine.

Especially check out Esims for Gaza. Aid has been inconsistent at best, but if you can't find anything else to do, send esims to help keep Palestine connected to the world.

#joe biden #free palestine #all eyes on rafah #met gala 2024 #long post #idk why this anon messaged my ngl #tbh theyre probably mass sending this message to various people as a 'gotcha!' thing #but on the off chance its real #im not a naturally nice or charismatic person #im unpleasant and off-putting #in general I think most people wouldn't ever ask me for political opinions #but my god i wouldnt be able to live with myself if i woke up feeling like this person feels #if i woke up and thought that other people dont matter as much as me #so i should just try to make the decision that provides me with the most amount of temporary comfort possible #what a truly selfish belief to hold

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6mayhem · 13 days ago

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anyway anyway this has nothing to do with anything but one more thing i wanna complain about: not to sound like a twitter user but the state of cancelling people has gone way too far. no longer is it a way of cutting off monetary gains from celebrities who shamelessly use their power to exploit and harm others. now it's a way to once again prove your moral high ground to others. just like how dni's aren't actually designed to be instructive. it's superficial ways of showing if you're with the #good guys. and everyone's getting cancelled for everything. i don't think we need to exile that social media user for sharing a stupid opinion online once in 2017 to prove we don't agree with that. i think it's quite a harmful environment online if you always assume the worst from someone. oh you associated with someone who reblogged furry porn once? must be into beastiality, both of you. guilt by association is so stupid. maybe instead of trying to dig up dirt on someone we can just ask them their opinions on whatever political thing we care about. maybe we can look at their current actions instead of trying to find that one time they said something insensitive when they were 16. it's almost as if people can change. (this i am particularly annoyed by. "i grew up like that too and i never believed that!" "i was a teenager too yet i would've never done that!" ok cool. they did, though.) (tempted to add an "unless of course they-" but that honestly undermines my point so hard. yes sure there's fucking exceptions but that just confirms the rule, right? and we should be capable of making the distinction. generally though i assume the best. I'd rather be disappointed by someone than socially exile them by just assuming they'll forever be the way they were)

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teklarn · 3 years ago

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I NEED A PART TWO FOR BAUKGOU’S AWKWARD CONFESSION!!

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓽. 2

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

a/n: k the first one kinda blew up and i've been on tumblr for like a week and it made me rly happy receiving the requests ty <33 thank u for all the reblogs too !! this is a bit later than i hoped it would come out b/c half of the original fic was deleted by accident, but i’m on summer break until sept 5 so hopefully i’ll still update frequently.

𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕!

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you.

genre: lil angsty, fluffy at the end

warnings: cursing, one-sided pining, gave reader a quirk, the fighting scene is bs i cannot write action scenes at all im so sorry lol, second hand embarrassment for our dearest dynamight :(

word count: 2507

pls don't mind any typos! i try to edit to the best of my ability but i tend to type fast and i might miss a few or a lot of things.

- - -

read part one here my loves !!

you found yourself bored, cheeks puffing out as you swirled around the drink in your glass cup, sitting across from midoriya. he was muttering again, which you’d always found cute, however you weren’t listening this time at all.

part of the reason you’d rejected bakugou was due to the fact midoriya had requested your attention first, and not as friends. if you’d told bakugou that, it would just wound his delicate ego on top of the fact that you truly had no interest in him whatsoever.

at the moment, though, he was the only thing on your mind. there was no sudden spark of attraction you’d felt when he’d confessed. of course, anyone would find it flattering that the katsuki bakugou found you attractive. his standards were higher than the clouds.

at the moment, it felt like something was blocking your chest from feeling something for him, however you couldn’t pinpoint what it was.

“—it was amazing, right, y/n? y/n?”

your eyes flickered up to meet the emerald, wide-eyed eyes of your friend. you contemplated lying, but it was no use. shaking your head softly and pursing your lips, you set your drink down. “i’m sorry, midoriya. i’m just kind of...out of it, i guess you could say?”

he cocked his head to the side. “’out of it’?” he repeated.

“yeah,” you sighed, head pounding.

“is everything alright? maybe today isn’t the best time for this.”

“yeah,” you agreed. “maybe.”

“do you want to go back to the dorms?”

you nodded, massaging your temples. “yeah, yeah let’s go home.”

midoriya let out a soft chuckle through his nose, smiling. “alright.” he offered his hand, and you gladly let him heave you up.

“i’m sorry about this. honestly, midoriya, i enjoy your company, i really do. but i never assumed you’d catch feelings for me too—”

“too?” he blinked. the two of you continued on your way back to Heights Alliance.

you gulped. “yeah, there’s—”

“are you saying you caught feelings for me, as well?”

your eyes fell blank, lips parting in question. “no, uh. you know what? never mind.” you giggled gently in hopes the two of you would laugh it off without another thought. perhaps you should keep you and bakugou’s quiet interaction to yourself. midoriya and bakugou were already rivals enough.

the following week was agonizing in many ways. sitting beside bakugou guaranteed that you would get strange, judgmental looks. it never guaranteed his stolen glances. when you’d catch him staring, his cheeks would flare up, and you swore he had smoke puffing out his ears.

each time, he looked as if he would explode. what can you expect from a guy like him?

it was easy to assume you’d just pissed him off, though. you weren’t the type of person to tell everyone you’d been asked out, but you needed to speak to someone about it. the thought had been nagging you, stuck at the back of your mind but just on the tip of your tongue.

you even found that you were distancing yourself from midoriya, who, after asking you out, had insisted you begin calling him izuku. over everyone else, you’d choose him to speak to about the matter, but ever since you’d discovered he had feelings all along, it was strange being around him.

you viewed him differently. he shot you glimmering smiles and blushed softly when you said his first name.

“y/n?”

you twisted around to see mina rocking on her heels behind you. “yes?”

“are you okay? you seem...how do i put this.” she tapped a pink finger against her lips. “off. you seem off. is everything alright?”

your brows raised. “oh, yeah. i’m good. thanks for checking in.”

“is there anything you want to talk about?” she adjusted her hero costume. you and the rest of the girls were currently changing for another training exercise.

yaoyorozu fixed her hero costume. “i don’t mean to impose on anything, but i have to agree with mina, y/n. of course, there’s no pressure to tell us anything. you’re under no obligation to unless you need and want to talk to someone, but we’re here if you need us, okay?”

you nodded, smiling softly. “thanks you guys.”

it was the same training as before, however you were able to select a partner of your own. being that there were 21 students in the class, there was always ought to be a group of three, or one person left out. you’d come into yuuei out of pure luck, as some like to put it.

you’d found it offensive they’d assumed it was that and not your own pure skill. it’d taken a while to re-convince yourself that you were worthy of being in the class, even if you were usually the odd one out.

most students had already bonded by the time you arrived here, so finding a partner wasn’t always easy. once you and midoriya had gotten close, you two did most things together, however at the moment, you weren’t quite feeling it.

surprisingly, your eyes caught bakugou standing alone, eyes scanning the room for a partner. kirishima must have partnered up with another friend, then. it was always them together.

unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough to avoid either of them. bakugou was already trotting up to you, eyes locked on your figure just as midoriya began jogging to your side.

in perfect unison, they asked, “be my partner?” (in two very different tones, of course.)

you blinked between them, about to answer when aizawa came up behind you three.

“are you guys in the group of three?” your teacher deadpanned.

your shoulders slumped. “yeah, i guess so.”

“get to work. you’ve already wasted five minutes standing around.”

you nodded politely. “yes, sensei.”

you swallowed. bakugou’s crimson gaze was pinning you in your spot, and midoriya’s lips thinned with a lack of enthusiasm when bakugou looked back at him.

“get to work, you three,” aizawa repeated, walking away.

“i can take on both of you.” bakugou cracked his knuckles.

you clenched your fists. “we already know you’re at the top of the class, bakugou. there’s no need to rub it in our faces.”

he averted his eyes, cheeks flushing red. it was like a sad, silly way of letting you know you won this fight.

“i’ll go against you two,” you said, adjusting your hero costume.

midoriya’s eyes widened. “what? y/n, but—”

“but i’m not strong enough?” you finished for him. you knew where they ranked in strength, and while yours was just as powerful, if you let one thing slip, your arrows would disappear and you’d be dust. “that’s exactly my point, you two are practically at the top of the class with your quirks.”

“tch, don’t hold back,” bakugou said, readying himself.

“don’t go easy on me,” you mocked.

“y/n, do you really think this is a good idea—” before izuku could finish, you and bakugou launched yourselves at one another.

you charged forwards. an arrow flew from your hand, twisting its way right through the smoke of an explosion. when it cleared, bakugou was nowhere to be seen.

a gasp fell from your lips as you turned around just a little too late. your ears rang terribly as your back collided with the ground.

izuku cried out. green lightning flashed, and he was at your side in a moment. “kacchan!”

you groaned, sitting up. bakugou cut through the smoke with an arm. “fight me, damned nerd. there aren’t any pauses in a real fight.”

you wriggled yourself away from midoriya. “midoriya, you’re my enemy in this.”

“bu—”

“no buts. fight me. and don’t hold back.”

midoriya noted the determination in your eyes and stood, giving you a sure nod. you were back on your feet in a second. bakugou flew in the air and came crashing down just as fast as he conjured a blast in his right hand.

attacking wasn’t your best option right now. you were smart enough to know that. an arrow appeared flat at your back and pulled you from where bakugou was targeting.

cement flew into the air.

that blast could have wounded you badly. possibly killed you, if he’d hit the right spots.

in the air, you examined their zealous features. midoriya’s brows were furrowed in that determined smolder.

bakugou, as always, looked angry. as expected, he charged first, shooting himself into the air. his foot nearly collided with your face, missing my barely an inch. you took your shot, revealing the arrow you’d hidden behind your back. the tip collided with his chest.

you left the arrow to complete its command and stick your blonde opponent to the wall and trap him there while you went after midoriya.

while he bested you in strength, you did the same to him when it came to speed. you dodged his punches like they were weak attempts at hitting a ball in a park.

you grinned. in a battle of strength and speed, whoever landed the first hit would win. there was no question.

twisting in the air, you allowed the ball of your foot to shove midoriya to the ground. he cried out as his face was crushed into the cement.

it was perfect timing, as bakugou ripped free of your hold, the arrow keeping him in one spot dissolving into air as soon as its purpose was lost.

your head whipped around to see him charging for you.

your fingers curled. the headache pounding at your temples was beginning to get hard to ignore.

bakugou launched himself at you, spinning in the air like a missile. he really wasn’t going to howitzer you...right?

when he didn’t slow down, you threw your body to the right, the attack just barely missing your leg. it scorched a bit of your thigh. a groan fell from your lips as you cupped the area around the burn, shuddering with pain.

bakugou’s chest was puffed proudly as he marched up to you, hands cracking with excited explosions.

he pulled back his right arm, ready to spark up another fight as midoriya recollected himself. you bit your lip to hide the fact you were quivering.

it was sudden, but bakugou paused when he saw your hand fly up.

“give me a minute...” you gasped out, skin still sizzling.

“y/n! are you alright?”

you didn’t respond. midoriya smacked his friend’s arm. “kacchan! what’re you thinking?”

“midoriya, i’m fine. don’t stress over it.” you limped to your feet, rejecting the extended hand from your green-haired friend. “i’ll just go see recovery girl.”

“do you need—”

you smacked midoriya’s hand away, a little bit more rude than you intended it to be. “i’ll be...fine.” you offered a weak smile to hopefully make up for your tiny outburst.

although you could see in his eyes he wanted to help, midoriya nodded and stood by, hand falling back to his side. you clutched around the patch of burned skin. the sting had faded a bit, however there was a soreness to the wound that felt like a constant stabbing to your leg.

you swallowed the pain down, marching towards the exit with determination and a bit of a limp.

you looked back to see midoriya had gone off to tell mr. aizawa what was going on. your teacher nodded, understandingly.

there were a few worried glances and offers for help in the hall, but you’d neglected them all and found yourself relieved to see recovery girl in her office, typing away.

she turned as the door opened. “please knock beforehand next time—oh, dear. y/n? are you alright?”

you gave a tense nod. “mhm. just got a bit banged up in training today.”

the old woman pursed her lips, smile lines becoming evident. “i see.” she led you to the small cot reserved for patients such as yourself and directed you to sit down.

she examined the bruise. “it’s fairly bad. what happened?”

you made a gesture to the door. “i was brawling with bakugou and things got...intense.”

“that boy has quite an extreme side to him, as i’ve come to notice.”

“mhm,” you agreed.

“unfortunately, y/n, i have no ointments to be able to treat this properly.”

you nodded sheepishly before the old woman smooched your cheek. a soft green glow radiated around you.

when she pulled back, she said, “now, your body will be trying to catch up on the healing process. that’s what my quirk does. speed up recoveries. since it’s sped up, you’ll require some rest, preferably sleep. i’ll make sure your teachers know you’re excused for the rest of the day, sound good?”

“yes, thank you recovery girl.”

she pushed herself out of her rolling chair and left the room, smiling at you.

your eyes fluttered shut not long after that.

the sun was gone when you woke up, the hallway light flickering off.

“good, you’re awake.”

you looked to the left. you cried out, gathering the white sheets around yourself despite being completely clothed. “bakugou! what the hell? you stalker! you creep!”

bakugou took the slap you gave him on his arm. it was light, and didn’t do much damage.

“what...what do you want?”

even in the dark, you could tell bakugou’s cheeks were burning red. “about...about the other day. i wanted to talk to you about it.”

your chest fluttered in unwanted hope. “there’s nothing to talk about.”

“dammit, y/n, i wish there wasn’t anything to talk about. you’re insufferable and annoying and i can’t stand being around you because no matter what’s going on, you make my chest feel all funny. it’s stupid, and i can’t take my eyes off of you.”

heat rushed to your cheeks. “i’m flattered, really. but i-”

“i’m not asking you to reciprocate my shitty feelings. if anything, it’s better if you don’t.”

“bakugou, i wasn’t...” you paused.

“you what?” he snapped, voice soft despite his tone.

“i was going to say that ever since you...ever since you asked me out, i’ve been conflicted about my own feelings.”

“the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“i’m not sure if i like you back or not, bakugou. but hearing you say all this...makes me want to give it a shot. sort of. also, why the hell are you watching me sleep?”

bakugou swept hair from his eyes. “don’t go and try to change the subject on me, dumbass.”

you gulped.

“so what’re you saying?”

“i’m saying,” you started, “i’m saying that maybe i want to go out on that date with you.”

“say it again.”

“what?” you looked up, his eyes boring into yours.

“i said i want you to say it again. tell me you want to go out on a date with me.”

it startled you how sure he was when he knew what you wanted, too. this was unlike the last attempt to ask you out.

“katsuki bakugou, i want to go on a date with you.”

he grinned. “where to?”

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thedeviljudges · 3 years ago

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the devil judge + the seven deadly sins

so, i made a gifset about who i thought falls under the seven deadly sins. and also shameless plug - please go reblog the gifset i made for this. took me ages to do.

but i figured i might as well make a meta post to correlate. so this is that post. it’s not everything i could discuss. i could be here for hours more, truth be told. but i hope it’s enough to chew on.

while i feel like a lot of these are going to be a no-brainer, i still want to talk it through because idk. i can, and i want to, and i feel like it, lmao.

gluttony

the elite are privileged and have an opportunity to indulge so much more than the general public, but in many different ways. this is shown throughout the show in the fact that they can indulge on luxury food, have political power, they can make a phone call or snap their fingers and everyone must follow their orders.

and the thing about gluttony is that there is always more to be had. you take a little and then realize it’s not enough and so you ask for more. case in point: in episode 11 when sunah suggests that yohan could be the new president, the current one gives her an alternative: dictatorship. because it wasn’t just enough for him to be an actor and the presiding president.

you’ll also know they turn in on themselves - the two other guys in the elite group. one who owns the company and the other dude - i really cannot remember their names and what they do, but y’all know who i’m talking about. it was so easy for them, when threatened, to fabricate documents to give to yohan about each other in order to get ahead. gluttony is only shared in the relationships we have until one realizes they can take a little extra of the pie. it’s the selfishness of having all the leftovers. gluttony cannot necessarily exist without someone else’s sacrifice.

lust

i kind of had an ah-ah moment when i was talking this over with @technitango. i was trying to decide who was going to be lust because lust is portrayed very, very differently in this show than what most of us are used to. we, of course, know sunah who lusts after a life of indulgence and riches because she equates that with respect more than actually wanting it because it’s monetarily worth something.

but then i realized the public is lust because of their need for justice. i won’t say revenge necessarily because they’re doing as they’re told when given the judge show. but we can quickly see how that evaporates into something akin to bloodlust, for criminals and people who normally get away with shit, to have their fair taste at conviction for their misdeeds. we even see it with yohan’s fanboy club - the lust that comes from adoration and dedication.

and even more so, the public is easily swayed and so is the nature of lust. it follows in the vein of needs and wants, and as soon as new information is presented, however may false, so does the wants and desires of what people want sway. how easy was it for them to turn on yohan for a split second on two occasions - on two accounts of bribery.

envy

envy, above all, is about wanting what others have because you do not have it yourself. it may not be exactly what they have, but a form of it. some people don’t necessarily want money - they want what it can by, which is time, health and material goods.

sunah is the perfect example of this. she envies respect and recognition. she talks about bright and shiny objects, and that’s true to her kleptomania tendences, but more than anything, she wants to be seen as an equal because being poor with a vastly different upbringing means she’s looked down upon by those she thinks matters.

which also begs the question why she feels the need to seek validation from people in higher statuses to begin with when she can be the exception and not the rule - form her own understanding and environment to show others that the typical way of the elite is not actually all it’s cracked up to be - to which we see when she has no one to celebrate her victory with. it’s lonely being at the top. you get to your goal you thought you wanted but then what?

more importantly, sunah also envies family, relationships and simply put, human interaction. she wants to be cared for and treasured, and she looks for that in her position of power. because then all eyes are on you. because then that’s what people care about. what she fails to see is that those eyes are just as fruitless and just as wavering. to be a leader means people loving the idea of you but not you as a person.

“people of envious nature are sometimes stimulated to seek to emulate those who have completed some great achievements and in doing so achieve something great for themselves,” according to Understanding Philosophy.

wrath

while i realize that gaon not might entirely fit the wrath trope, he certainly has his moments, and i think he’s lived with a tampered flame since his parent’s death. he just learned to briefly put it out in the form of distractions and a false sense of righteousness and justice. it isn’t until he meets yohan that someone finally gives him the okay to feel the entirety of his emotions, that lets him breath and tells him it’s okay to feel anger and hurt. and while gaon ultimately chooses not to exact revenge, his wrath is what led him to becoming a judge and walking away from his teenage crimality.

gaon transposed his wrath into seeking justice, transformed it into livelihood, and reformed his narrative so that he was no longer angry and a teen with rash emotions. it was simply redirected and never really forgotten. yohan turned that redirection back around onto gaon’s ultimate heartache. fueled with that, it became easier to justify himself and his actions.

the most pivotal moment of turning his back on this mindset is, of course, the minister’s suicide, where he takes a good look at himself and doesn’t like what he sees. at this point, gaon’s upset isn’t necessarily at yohan but at the situation in which they got themselves into. because the thing is, gaon doesn’t absolve himself from what they did. he doesn’t turn a blind eye to that and try to dismiss it. he owns up to what happened and confesses how he feels to yohan and how he has to leave for his own good, and in some indirect way, for yohan’s, too.

with yohan, his ultimately weakness, despite never admitting to it, is family. his wrath comes in the form of anger when the ones he loves are threatened. yohan lives by a moral code of loyalty because that means you won’t be abandoned, and as a child who lived with that verdict since the day he was born, it’s an ever-pressing theme of his.

thing is, wrath comes in two particular forms for yohan. again, one is family and the second is the rose-colored glasses he’s given himself in his revenge story. he’s always had a goal to presumably make right the wrong for taking away isaac, but within that, 10 years is a long time to plot revenge, to the point where it becomes so much easier to lose yourself to that, to become enraged with it and forget the initial goal all along. we see this in his inability to form the bonding moments needed with his niece and his casual throwaway comments over people’s lives - the comment he made to gaon about moving on to the next plan, and the ultimately nail in the coffin of pushing gaon to leaving him.

his fury has also led him to convince himself his own humanity is nothing short of a lie. therefore, it’s easier to justify the means to an end because of his own self-worth and self-deprecation. it’s almost like a self-fulfilling prophecy: he even admitted to gaon’s mentor that he is an abyss. he’s referred to himself as nothing but an animal or a monster - all characteristics of despondency to survive and to justify what he’s doing. sort of like a catch 22, yohan claims he’s an animal/monster and behaves as such, but because he behaves as such, it means he’s an animal/monster.

wrath for gaon and yohan are very different yet the same. they are slow-burning, and that’s a dangerous type. it’s actually interesting when you think about the fire imagery surrounding the two of them because flames are quick to lap at anything in its wake, to destroy within a matter of minutes. and yet for the two of these men, their internal fire eats them from the inside out, painfully, until they’re almost unrecognizable to others and to themselves.

sloth

sloth was a little more difficult to pinpoint because of its characteristics. it was either the minister versus the mentor, both of which i think could work in this role. however, i chose the minister simply because she’s featured more and intertwines heavily with the plot line.

soth is a medieval translation of the Latin term acedia, meaning “without care.”

the ultimate characteristic of sloth is often identified as laziness, and while it’s easy to argue that the minister hasn’t been lazy in her ability to get where she is, she became as much when she started lying to get to her position. isn’t lying known as the easier way out? it absolves you of responsibility, of putting in the hard work, of apologizing and making things right. in the end, she had a goal and found the easiest solution to get there through her lack of responsibility for the roles she more than likely swore an oath to.

but that also translates into the other attributes of sloth: a failure to do the right thing, lack of emotions for people or of the self, and the fact that it “hinders man in his righteous undertakings and thus becomes a terrible source of man’s undoing” according to The Seven Deadly Sins: Society and Evil.

while i think there are a lot of components of sloth that may not necessarily fit the minister, the apathy and carelessness are enough to showcase her aggression, despondency and restlessness when what little efforts she does put in do not go her way. another interesting thing to note is that many of sloth’s traits correspond with symptoms of mental illness, such as depression and anxiety. it’s an interesting thing to note given the way the minister chooses to end her life.

greed

i don’t know that jinjoo would’ve had any provocation to the limelight if it wasn’t for sunah’s direction, but she’s eager to please and wants to be useful. it’s only natural for her to want more because it’s clear she’s a career woman, loves her job and has a heart for serving the people.

but like gluttony, greed is also that little thing that plants itself and can take on a life of its own. you start looking for justifications as to why you can’t have more than what you do, and in jinjoo’s situation, she’s already overlooked through no fault of her own. and it’s not that gaon and yohan are doing it purposefully, which is what makes their neglect heartbreaking, because truthfully, they’re after the same thing jinoo is. sure, it looks different and the foundation of it is different, same with their motives. but they’re all three judges on a residing bench working to exact justice - even if all three of them have their own personal agenda.

i don’t think jinoo fully aligns with greed, but she does want more for herself, and i think that’s only natural. you can tell she has a heart, and she’s keen not to be overlooked. this isn’t her pain point so much as it is she knows her worth and is more than ready to do what it takes to get where she wants. this, in and of itself, isn’t necessarily a bad trait, but we can see how it leads to being deceived, especially for someone who’s been left in the dark for so long.

she is enticed by the glitz and the glamour of being a head judge, but you can tell she feels some remorse and guilt for those thoughts at times. i think her sense of greed is a battle within herself more than it is extremely outwardly.

pride

soohyun’s pride comes in the form of her imbalance with right and wrong. her sense of righteousness and justice is so far leaning, even more than gaon’s. it can be chalked up to her being a cop, but we’ve seen instances of this outside of her role within that agency. her pride doesn’t let her see beyond saving gaon and getting to the bottom of every mystery that comes her way.

it also comes in the form of impulsiveness and her savior complex, putting elijah in danger, for example, instead of waiting for backup. it’s not necessarily from a belief that she can fix things all on her own, but she sees injustice and immediately jumps in. another case in point is her and gaon watching yohan wreck the minister’s son’s car. she’s ready to go stop him, but gaon pulls her back, most likely because at that point, they hadn’t been observing the situation for very long to get a read on it. also the fact that at that point, neither of them truly knew yohan and his capabilities.

but as to where her characteristics come from, we simply don’t know beyond that of gaon. it’s unfortunate because we don’t have much of her backstory, so there is no real understanding why she so firmly believes in entities of regulation beyond keeping her friend out of jail. she prides herself on her work and what she’s able to accomplish, which is why it’s devastating to her to have to protect gaon by cleaning up his bloody handprint.

aristotle is of the belief that, “pride, then, seems to be a sort of crown of the virtues; for it makes them greater, and it is not found without them. Therefore it is hard to be truly proud; for it is impossible without nobility and goodness of character,” from Nicomachean Ethics.

but pride for soohyun isn’t about honors or rewards. it’s for herself and her capabilities, her ability to protect gaon, and the virtues she’s set as the precedent for herself. because sometimes it’s not even about establishing morals and ethics upon yourself. it’s about feelings/intuition, logic and observation. and no, i don’t mean the feelings she has for gaon. there are things that humans do, both actions and words, that we inherently know are bad without someone telling us as much and without the rules of the world seared into our brains. there are some things we know, for a fact, are wrong to us as individuals.

for soohyun, she knows that gaon’s actions, and even her own, have consequences. from what we’ve seen, i think it can be argued that it’s really about not doing those actions to prevent an outcome - not necessarily from a place of being just and right. that doesn’t mean she doesn’t understand good morals/ethics, but again, we have no background of what her internal guidance actually is.

to put this in layman’s terms, we’ll use gaon wanting to stab the conman in his youth. soohyun knows it’s wrong because it will incriminate gaon and therefore she stops it. gaon’s gone to her because he sees her as a moral compass. but is her own internal navigation rooted in justice the way gaon had to find it in the judicial system, or is hers rooted in her pride of keeping gaon safe? she stops him from doing things that will get him in trouble, but is she stopping him because the action itself is wrong or because the outcome will result in undesirable consequences for the two of them?

and of course, there is a flipped argument to be had there - i’m not arguing that gaon stabbing the conman would be right or justified. but what i am saying is that for her, her worldview is the only right one, and when anyone steps out of that, even gaon, it becomes a bit of an issue: the pride she has for that is palpable.

every character indulges

truthfully, every character has at least one form of these sins rooted in their characterization. some are larger than others, but the breadth of it can be explored even further for each. and that’s what makes them more realistic and not just characters written on a page or following a linear progression of their writing deity.

the seven deadly sins are also notoriously rooted in religion. they’re also a defining feature of aristotle’s works that represent the golden mean, in which each vice is parallel to a virtue.

the devil judge is so layered, but i think at the heart of it, it’s about humanity at its core. sprinked in are the philosophies and contradictions and what it means to look in the mirror, what happens when we’re blind to seeing our true selves and most importantly, how much changes when we’re swayed by our own misgivings. it really asks us to understand nature versus nurture, that people must find a belief in something to keep them going, and how futile our hopes and desires can actually be if we’re not carefully regulating ourselves, nevermind the entities established by society to regulate us, too.

the entirety of the show genuinely begs the question as to who is truly right, who is truly wrong, and if it’s even possible to find the correct answer.

#x #the devil judge #the devil judge meta #*#*the devil judge #so i have some Thoughts #probably not very good ones but ya know

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idohistorysometimes · 2 years ago

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Pawn Man and the Photo album: Was this album faked?

It has now been roughly 48 hours since the original Pawn Man video was posted regarding this particular photo album and a lot of things have been said. Evan (Pawn Man) has already been contacted by museums worldwide for the purchase of this book. The news has been all over it. And the situation itself has been viral on tiktok.

But is it all worth the hype?

Before I get into the rest of this post let me make something clear now: The massacre of Nanjing did happen. There is no arguing the fact that this happened. I do not care what end of the political spectrum you fall on: genocide denial is never ok and will not be tolerated here. You do not have to like the current Chinese government to acknowledge the fact that this event in history took place and was one of the worst atrocities of this type to date. We are not going to have a dick-measuring contest in the comments or reblogs over whether or not it did happen or what ethnic group/nation had it worst in history. That is not mature and not helpful. You are helping no one by doing this.

With this, all said though as I mentioned in my original post regarding the situation there have been some questions brought up in regards to this photo album's authenticity. And these questions have been becoming more and more frequent as Pawn Man himself began posting photos from the album on Twitter. The specific criticism being leveled is that these photos are real and authentic photos from history, just not photos that took place during the events of Nanjing or even WW2. This would obviously have some pretty serious implications to it given how serious the events of Nanjing were and how rare photographic evidence of it is to find. It could be completely possible that Pawn Man was simply unaware of this fact and this was not a malicious action (Harlon's Razor) but given his massive platform and business of choice: If these images are proven fake and he knew they were this is a huge slap to the face to the victims of the massacre, their families, and the historical community at large.

I will be going through the images posted on Twitter to hopefully clear some things up (at least before an apology is forced).

The first few images in the book are presumably featuring the name of the person who supposedly took these photos, “Leslie G Allen Jr”.

Here is the other one. It also says “Leslie Guy Allen Jr”

I think I was able to locate this man’s grave site.

The dates do match up with the war and he did serve in WW2 and was in the Navy. So we can assume these 2 men are the same person. I was not able to find any info on Leslie being a photographer. So nothing available about him online indicates that he was the person who took these images. However, he was an actual WW2 veteran, and that Golden Dragon certificate was an actual thing given out to Navy personnel during this time.

So this part of the book is 100% without a doubt authentic.

But what about the rest?

Before we get to the graphic images lets take a look at this one

This image is supposidly of Chinese Female soldiers fighting Japanese forces in 1937. This is what that photo is. However, it is extremely unlikely that Leslie Allen took these photos. And it would be completely false to say that this is the first time that this particular image has been seen by historians before.

According to Ablebooks (the site this image is also listed on for sale):

Original press photo, date stamped 21 Oct 1937 on the verso . Image of Chinese female soldiers. The caption on the verso states: " Two of the Feminine Sharpshooters in the Chinese front lines near Lotien, Northwest of Woosung. These girls, whose existance is denied by official circles, have been very effective against Japanese troops".

Assuming the seller of this image is presenting 100% accurate information this image was taken 270 km (167 miles) away from Nanjing. Keep in mind this is still an authentic image from the time and conflict, but its not taking place where Pawn Man is saying it does.

Now lets look at the more graphic photos.

The one that I often see called out the most is this:

This image specifically has been highly suspect.

This image is actually not one unique to the album either. It was taken in 1905 of Fou Tchou-Li, a man executed by the death of 1000 cuts methods for murdering a Mongolian prince. He was also the last person executed by this method in Bejing before the practice was abolished outright. So both timeline wise and location wise: this could not have in any way been connected to the events of Nanjing.

Along with this, “Death by 1000 cuts” is a Chinese execution and torture tactic. It was also used in Vietnam and Korea but I do not think the Japanese used this method (and if they ever did it was in isolated incidents and not common place although I could be wrong).

A lot of these other photos have the same issues.

We already talked about that last image but the first image here was taken in 1927. You can find it on a site called “Fotoe.com” which appears to be a Chinese image sharing site.

Image number 2 is an image depicting an execution of a Communist in Nanjing (also in 1927). It might be in Nanjing (which lines up with place) but the date is 10 years too early.

See, here it is on alamy

As for the other images featuring the piles of dead bodies... I cannot tell you what those are or where those were taken. I can however tell you that those are real photos of real death (just like the ones above).

But what really REALLY puts the nail in the coffin is this:

This is not a unique book.

“My Oriental Album” was a thing given out to US military personnel during and around WW2. Kansas State University was kind enough to have a copy of one free to look at online. Although I will say it does not have all the same images Pawn Man posted onto twitter.

https://www.k-state.edu/history/institute/MOA/Welcome.html

Many versions of these types of albums exist (some of which you can find on Ebay) so this could be that situation also.

To be quite honest there is still some part of me that would like to think this was an honest mistake. But the fact the Nanjing memorial museum was not contacted by Pawn Man about this book and the fact this book was so easily debunkable (by Twitter of all places) makes me worried that this was not a simple case of Harlon's Razor.

History is important kids and so is remembering the horrific things that have happened in our past. Because this event is not some far-off removed thing, it happened less than 100 years ago. My Grandmother who is 97 was alive for this. Many other people were alive for this as well. I still stand by my initial statement of: if you find an artifact like this (for example images of a genocide event or slave logs) do not keep it or destroy it. GIVE IT TO A MUSEUM. They can both authenticate it and handle it properly both in terms of interpretation but also in terms of preservation.

This did not happen here.

The fact Pawn Man got a hold of this artifact before entities like the Nanjing Memorial Museum in China or even the Smithsonian is both extremely sad and suspect. If this truly is unseen evidence of The Rape of Nanjing it was handled extremely poorly by both the original owner and Pawn Man. The fact the words "buy" and "sell" are even being used here hurts me since we are putting a price on knowing the truth. And why was this even taken to Tiktok in the first place before it was authenticated? There are just a lot of issues with this.

For all those still reading: please look into this part of WW2 since it is seldom ever talked about and is one of the most brutal events of human history in terms of scale and cruelty. This is something that happened that people need to talk about. People NEED to know about it. But it should not be under these circumstances. We should be talking about it because we care, not because a tiktoker got the details of it wrong and is claiming to have an actual historically relevant artifact.

I really hope I am wrong here. I really do. But from what I am able to tell now I don’t think I am.

Tiktok is not a source kids.

#china #tiktok drama #TiKToK #drama on tiktok #pawn man #nanjing #museum #museam #history museum #museum work #history #historians #historian #rant #historytok

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magnetothehedgehog · 3 years ago

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Dimension’s Ridge Announcement!

Hi everyone, With all the rise in Sonic media and the great releases coming up, such as The New sonic game in 2022,the sonic movie 2, sonic prime, and literally anything Idw has been releasing including their new side series “Imposter syndrome”, I am challenged to up my game and release information on my long running project in the works. Especially Since sonic prime and Idw is literally gonna blow out all the spoilers before I do if I don't start releasing stuff first. Since its been happening constantly, I gotta be a step ahead.

So, without further ado, I introduce you to the World of Dimension's Ridge.

Dimensions Ridge is My personal Alternate Universe that seeks to combine all aspects of sonic media. In fact, its super similar to the upcoming Sonic prime, archie and Idw Comics in this regard, with it possibly being a bit more ambitious, or at least equally as ambitious as Idw.

The Series will follow a number of favorite canon and non canon characters alike, but will also their universal counterparts and alternate universe selves.

The Main overarching plot line is that a Existence level Threat is putting everything in jepoardy. This Creature Known as an Existence Eater spreads its influence to a planet by releasing its minions into it, then after enough time, it comes to absorb the planet, thus erasing it from existence entirely, as if it had never been there in the first place. This has been happening for quite a while, until a few people caught onto it. They began leaving messages and warnings to others in a attempt to save them.

Being an existence level threat, this will take the combined effort of every Version of Sonic,Tails,Sally, Eggman and everyone else if they want anything to be left in the multi-verse. This Story is about how they all come together to do just that.

However that is the main plot. The story follows many minor or sub plotlines and stories that all connect and weave into this ultimate narrative. For Stories featuring Sonic and friends, Stories start off in the classic area and work their way into the modern area as the characters develop and mature, so we get to see and live their journey alongside them. For older characters and parents, I wanted them to have a more staple involvement in the series, even if only at the beginning. Their Adventures as the World slowly slips into chaos can be read in War on Mobius.

While there are Prequels to the beginning of the story, such as the “Rift War.”, the main storylines that kicks off all the other starts is one of my current productions “War on Mobius.”This follows the economical and political collapse following the Recent End of The Rift War and begins the Egg Empire's rise to Power.I would like to mention that The Egg Empire Now consists of the collective versions of Eggman all working together as a family. Egg Fam for short. But we have Great additions such as boom eggman, Ova Eggman, Aosth Eggman, Satam Eggman, Russian Eggman,Eggette, and a few custom additions such as Omelette and Scramble.

Things That happen in War on Mobius will be seen effecting or influencing the states of things in my Classic Era Story “Classic adventures.” and others ones such as “The Freedom Fighters.”

Alongside canon appearances of less known or scrapped characters and designs, such as Tiara and Honey the Cat, Readers can expect appearances of my own characters, both as counterparts to main characters, and also as people who drive the story forward and show interesting and dynamic opinions of their changing world. A few Such ones would be “Tribal Ties” Focusing on the Tribes of Echidnas, Bayblonians and Pangolins Tribes, all of which play a part not only in Mobius history, but also will play a vital part in its future.

After Classic adventures, comes one of my long running claims to fame and a personal favorite of mine from my early script writing days. Zone Runners. This takes place after the Events of Classic adventures and as the world has been influenced by the political unrest in War on Mobius. It follows the Group of People on the East Side of the World as they try to fight back against the Egg Empire, Newly risen Oscillators Group, and The Very lack of Sonic and Freedom Fighter there. This series will also begin unraveling some of the mysteries behind the existence eater and the ultimate narrative. Originally this concept came from the Fleetway comics, and ever since I've been completely inspired to incorporate this into my own series. If anyone was ever on Sonic Amino, they might have seen me post things related to it back in the day.

I also wish to be a more character focused series as a whole, one who focuses on the people collectively as opposed to just Sonic himself. I want it to as if each character us actually a main character and can save the day, and that the day is only won because everyone has done their part, whether powerful or powerless.

To that End, I have many characters stories intertwine, or lead to one another. Some characters will have branching off stories, while others will be closely intertwined, and always interact with each other, regardless of who the story is currently focusing on.

A few I'd like to notable mention is, Shadow's Ark, Silvers Sanctuary, and Heir of Sol. Focusing on the characters Shadow, Silver, And Blaze Respectively.

While I have a lot of other Titles for the stories respectively, I'd just to touch on a few more before I close.

Worlds collide finally answers the question in sonic media about two planets and the dimensional connundrum of sonic rush and sonic 06. While also bringing together multiple characters who were on their own paths, for the collected purpose of setting up how everyone will be needed much later.

Dimension Forces is, a reimagined Version of Sonic Forces, including a whole new team of villains to take on the heroes from our prior stories. I call them: Forever Force. The Main Three Hitters Being the Villains Infinite, Eternity, And Enigma. In this Story we'll get to see Whispers team in action, and also get to see new stories involving Gadget and His Brother Widget, and a host of other rising heroes soldiers and returning cast members.

I also had this Idea that the wisps were able to use their abilities on their own, except in smaller weaker versions then when they had a mobians help.Thus you could call in drill air strikes and other things to help you in battle, and the flew alongside you rather than in containers. I had these idea way long ago, but what do you know Idw beat me to the punch again in rise of the wisps. However I would just like to say before they do it too, that I had the idea of the wisps combining their powers, as if anyone played Sonic simulator, you would know you can actually combine wisp powers. If its the same type, its twice as strong with a bonus effect. If its different, you can combine the strengths of two different powers. Think how eggman used cube with laser in the boss nega wisp armor.

Speaking of Sonic Simulator! Thats another Story I have plans for. Following alongside the events of Sonic colors, Sonic simulator follows the group of hedgehogs abducted from Mobius and sent to eggman's interstellar amusement park as part of an organic experiment to take out sonic. Suggested by The Leader of the Oscillators, These hedgehogs will now have to work together to prove their worth to Eggman and as worthy adversaries of Sonic! But what of their past memories? What will happen if they remember? And if they do, can they escape? Find out! Also its follow up story leads to sonic lost world.

I'd also like to talk about the Idw Verse Mini series I have been working on! Getting Art from the Talented CatRage and getting to voice my Ideas to My Friends as well as My sister, I present my own Miniseries! Mimic's misadventures!

This story takes place between the events of Idw's Bad guys, and follows mimic's operations and struggles as he tries to complete his missions, and deal with people of similar caliber to himself. Will this mercenary manipulate his way easily out of another situation? Or has the Octopus finally met the one group who will send him back to the ocean? Find out!

Currently, this miniseries has 5 canon issues and one undecided.

1.Ghost Of The North.

2.Into the Spiders Nest

3.Hunt is on

4.Jaws of a Predator

5.Belly of the Beast

undecided: 6.Seaside Escapade.

Currently I am writing the script for Part 1 of Ghost of the North and hope to finish up the Audio drama reading for it soon.

So this is all the stuff I've had in production for the past few years! Along with my co writer Pinky heart.

Please, Please! Reblog or retweet this. It would mean the world to me. Also please! Ask as many questions as you'd like. I'll answer as many as I can, and would love to hear everyone's thoughts and opinions, as well as questions and inquires involving the series.

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blossom-hwa · 4 years ago

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Why Did the Police Shoot Jacob Blake? | The Daily Social Distancing Show

Guys, I know my posting about BLM and other social issues is mainly limited to reblogs and my tags, but I’m posting this to ask that you watch this video (even if you don’t live in America).

I’ve lived in the dark for a long time. Even though I’m POC, I haven’t experienced overt racism the way blacks have. Sure, I get the microaggressions and the fox eyes and things, but I don’t fear for my life when I walk home from the bus stop. I don’t freeze up when a police car passes while I’m driving. I don’t, and probably never will, know the struggles that blacks have faced in America for over four centuries.

I was still in the dark up until just months ago. It wasn’t until the killings of Ahmaud Arbery, Breonna Taylor, George Floyd, and so many others, that I learned the depth of the racism in my country. Likely I haven’t even realized the true depth yet. But now I know more. And I know it needs to stop.

For those who don’t know, the BLM movement is NOT a fucking socialist, communist movement led by far-left extremists to kill the American way of life, unless you believe the American way of life is rampant racism and the murder of people who have darker skin. It is a movement that emphasizes the FACT that black lives matter, just as ALL OTHER LIVES MATTER. The BLM movement does not say ONLY black lives matter. It says black lives matter too.

I truly don’t know why anyone would argue with that.

The BLM movement has turned into a pawn on the game board of politics. Republicans criticize it as a far-left scheme, again, meant to destabilize American society. And sure! It is destabilizing our society. And that’s why I support it. Because we need change.

You may read about the burning and rioting and looting of small businesses and condemn the protestors for that. But why are you judging the largely peaceful protests by the minority that causes destruction? Are you the same people telling blacks that we shouldn’t judge the entire police force based on a few bad apples in the system? Well, tell me how that makes sense. Enlighten me. Tell me that the blatant hypocrisy doesn’t exist.

Trevor Noah breaks down what happened in Kenosha easily and simply in this video. I don’t want people to say that it was a complex situation, that the police officers and the eventual murderer, Kyle Rittenhouse, had intricate motivations that we need to empathize with.

Let me ask you: why do we need to empathize with people who shot with the intention to kill when you can’t empathize with the man, Jacob Blake, the human man who may now be paralyzed for life, or the two protestors who lost their lives peacefully advocating for a cause they believed in?

Here are the facts:

1. Jacob Blake was diffusing a domestic situation that the police were called for. And allow me to say that he diffused the situation more than the police - and it’s their job to do that - did.

2. He did not obey the police officers’ orders and instead turned to go back to his van, where his three children were waiting.

3. Seven shots were fired at him. He is not dead, but his spinal cord was severed and he is currently paralyzed from the waist down. Doctors are still unsure whether or not this paralysis will last for life.

4. Protests and riots broke out in Kenosha, the city where this took place.

5. Kyle Rittenhouse drove out one night with an illegally obtained firearm (he’s 17) to supposedly protect a business. He shot Joseph Rosenbaum and another protestor, Anthony Huber, who attempted to disarm him with a skateboard (may he rest in peace - though he shouldn’t fucking have died in the first place). Protestors began chasing Rittenhouse after he shot Rosenbaum, and after he shot Huber, he began running toward the police.

6. The police did not apprehend Rittenhouse. They didn’t fucking apprehend him. He slept the night in his own home before being arrested.

7. Kyle Rittenhouse is white. Jacob Blake is black.

READ THESE FACTS AND TELL ME WHITE PRIVILEGE DOES NOT EXIST.

And to those who think that point 2, the fact that Blake didn’t obey the officers’ orders, makes him fucking eligible for being shot seven times? The officers had little to no reason to believe Blake was going to attack them. They had their guns trained on him. They just believed his dark skin was more dangerous than even their own weapons.

This has happened for far too long. If you haven’t already taken action - donated, signed petitions, protested, written emails - I’m begging you to start now. And if you’re a citizen of the United States and over eighteen? I’M BEGGIN YOU TO VOTE. Our current president doesn’t care SHIT about the social injustice blacks face every fucking day. I don’t care if he’s done wonders for the economy (he fucking hasn’t), I don’t care if he’s improving your finances (for the majority, he isn’t). I DON’T CARE. Because if you value a little tax cut over someone else’s fucking LIFE, I don’t want to associate with you. Get off my blog.

I reblog a lot of things that don’t have anything to do with NCT, SKZ, or K-pop in general. I guess I understand if you’re tired of it. But I’m not going to stop. I don’t have the resources to donate, I can’t participate in protests, but I can fucking sign petitions and write emails and SPREAD THE DAMN WORD. And I’ll keep doing it until this STOPS.

Please watch the video, or read articles on what happened. You may not want to watch the video of the shooting itself - it isn’t exactly safe for work - but educate yourself about this shooting and all the others that have happened. And please do your part in working to end it.

Protest.

Donate.

Sign Petitions.

Write emails.

VOTE.

DO SOMETHING.

#kpop #blm #nct #skz #nct 127 #stray kids #nct u #nct dream #if people start coming at me for using Kpop tags I don't fucking care.#I'm trying to get the news out there because it's high time for these killings to end.#and if this is the way to do it? I will.

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wormprint · 4 years ago

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hey guys! my commissions are officially open once again!

my prices have been updated-- it is now $9 (3 Ko-fis) base for 500 words, adding $6 (2 Ko-fis) per 500 words following. nsfw works add $6 as well! All of my examples are on my AO3 @ kickthematt !

I WILL write:

- Fluff, angst, soft sm/t - m/m, f/f, and some m/f ships. I am selective when it comes to m/f. - Light gore (battle scenes, some blood and cuts and bruises) - platonic/familial relations

I WILL NOT write:

- Hardcore sm/t - Intense gore - children in romantic/sexual relationships, incest, general nastiness

I have the right to deny any commission without explanation.

Click on the link to go to my ko-fi! I have a goal on there that’s pretty important, and there’s a blog post about it on there, but I’ll put the details of it under a read more on this post.

The gist of it is that I’m a gay, neurodivergent, transgender man who is escaping a toxic environment, and I need every penny I can get. (CW for under readmore: white supremacy , bad family relations , bad mental health , mentions of racism)

Thank you so so much if you read, and thank you doubly if you reblog!

(this is just pretty much copy/pasted from ko-fi) Hey everyone!

So, as the title of this post suggests, I'm going to highlight some of the things I am currently dealing with, and shed some light on the goal that is currently on my page.

CW - White supremacy, bad family relations, bad mental health, mentions of racism

Since the beginning of the year, my parents have been going down an incredibly scary path. As white supremacy and alt-right groups have begun gaining traction and rearing their ugly heads, they have dragged my parents with them. My parents were never hateful in the past; it was only recently that they began to feed on the harmful toxicity that is radical conservatism. As a gay, neurodivergent, transgender man, this is incredibly scary for me, and it has been for a while now. Things have gotten exponentially worse recently.

My mom has begun trying to push her propaganda onto me and my brother. She defends people who want me dead. She tells me to read the literature from those who feel that I threaten the "sanctity" of the United States. She pokes and prods at me to "discuss" politics with her, despite my requests for her to not do so. She claims that I'm being tormented and brainwashed by "terrorists" and that I've grown "intolerant" in the past few years, even though all that I've been doing is being assertive in telling others to not argue with me about politics. My family watches Fox News and PragerU quite loudly, and it permeates nearly every corner of the house. Almost every hour of the day I am bombarded with calls to action to harm people I care about, with statements that are flat-out false and "facts" that I must "accept".

This has gotten to a point where I dread seeing any member of my family. I dread leaving my room, which leads to me isolating, which leads to me not taking care of myself in fear that if I leave my room once more, another "debate" will spark. It's impacted my sleep schedule, as they watch and listen to alt-right propaganda late at night. It's hard to sleep when you hear the constant rallies to harm BIPOC in the late hours of the night.

My mental health has plummeted. It's gotten to scary lows, lows that I haven't felt in years. And I need out, or I fear that I won't make it to the end of the year.

Thankfully, one of my close friends was also looking to leave their house, and we have applied for an apartment that we can move into as soon as November, as well as a grant from my local LGBTQ+ resource center to help cover the security deposit. I have the funds to get me through the next month and a half, but once moving day comes, I'm going to need everything I can get to ensure I have everything I need for being on my own. That is where the commissions come into play.

My current goal is $250 that I can use to get the essentials after moving-- groceries, cleaning supplies, hygiene products, etc. I work two other jobs as well, which definitely helps supplement what I'll need when I move, but it would be greatly appreciated if I could get some more as well.

Anything that I get through here will go straight towards those moving costs.

Thank you so much, even if you only just read this post. All I ask at this point is to be heard.

#matt says #matts writes #commissions #dragalia lost #Cygames

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royallyprincesslilly · 5 years ago

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Title: Love, Maybe? {23}

Chris Evans X Reader OFC Vixen Giovanni

Warning: Mild Cursing, Plot, Slow Burn, Fluff

Word Count: 4K

Summary: After a night of drunkenness you wake up next to warm, hot as hell body, a migraine and no memory of the night before. When you come to realize that the hot body belongs to none other than Hollywood’s golden boy Chris Evans you freak out. As events unfold you become even more panicked to find out you got married in your drunken haze. What else is there to do but get it annulled, right? Before walking away, you share one more night of molten kisses and passion. Three years later you are still living with the repercussions of your brash decisions, but the surprises don’t stop there. The past has a way of coming back and have you questioning is this fate that you’ve been running from, hell could it have been love, maybe?

Note: Italic texts is an inner Vixen thought. Bold Italic texts is an inner Chris thought.

**Slightly Edited/Proofread**

***Interactive**

Thank you guys for reading!!!! If you enjoyed this please LIKE, COMMENT, REBLOG. 😊 ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

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Chapter 23: The Four Musketeers

-Chris-

He’d never been more scared in all his life, and that included when he was ten years old walking him from school after he’d cut Jenny Park’s hair. He was afraid because he had to face his mother and whatever punishment she came up with and then had to face his sister Carly. It was not a fun afternoon. Matter of fact he didn’t have any fun for a month.

He was filled with the same feeling of dread today, standing outside his sister Carly’s house where his siblings were inside waiting for him. Thanks to Scott and his big mouth they all knew, and he knew it was a matter of time before his mother also did. Now there was this new bit of information. Sighing, he walked the path to the front porch. Once in front of the door, he lifted his hand to knock, but the door flew open, and he was face to face with Carly and Shanna who each had a similar look of anger and confusion. He groaned and thought to himself it was going to be a long day.

He walked inside and to where Scott was no doubt hiding, the kitchen. Sure enough there he was sitting at the island sipping a beer. When he walked in, Scott turned and gave him an apologetic look. “Ya didn’t even last a day!” Just like that they all began talking at once, over each other. He heard what they all said and responded as they spoke their next sentences. It went on this way for a full ten minutes before Carly let loose a loud whistle. Everyone stopped and looked to her.

“Everyone shut your yaps!” He groaned and lamented the oncoming conversation and questioning. He walked to the fridge and took out his own beer. After opening it against the side of the wooden island he took a few heavy gulps.

“Chris, sit down,” Carly instructed. “I’d rather stand for now.”

“I’ll sit down,” Shanna said, sinking into one of the stools at the island. Silence filled the room, and he realized all their eyes were on him. He rolled his eyes.

“Okay, let me start,” Scott began. “Oh, I think we’ve had enough of you starting,” he interjected.

“It slipped out Chris; I didn’t mean to say anything. I’m sorry.”

“Why were you trying to keep secrets from us anyway? What the hell, Chris!”

“I didn’t know how to tell you guys. Plus I knew once you knew then ma wouldn’t be far behind.”

“Oh, ma is gonna kill you. Explain!” He raked his fingers through his hair and leaned on the fridge.

“Who is this woman? How the hell could she keep something like this from you? What kind of woman does that?” Carly was livid. He didn’t know if her anger was more directed at him or you. He didn’t want his family hating you, but he knew once the truth came out the possibility was likely.

“We had a fling in Vegas a while back, one or two nights. She went her way, and I went mine. I didn’t know until maybe two months or so ago.”

“Two months? Chris,” Carly sighed out. “Where was the protection?” He scoffed and drank more from his bottle.

“The one time it didn’t cross my mind.”

“Jesus Chris.” She paced then spun around. “Who is this woman!?” He’d heard the question the first time, but he bypassed it. He couldn’t now.

“Just a woman.” Shanna jumped up then and scurried to her bag then came back with a magazine in her hand. She flipped through the pages and dropped it on the island top. “Is this her?” He took the magazine and leaned closer to the blurry image. It was you he knew it. It looked like it was taken outside the same place you both were bombarded in front of her restaurant. He clenched his jaw and sent a text to his incompetent lawyers to get to work on it. He didn’t want you hounded.

“It’s her, isn’t it?” All three of them grabbed the magazine and dug their noses in it trying to make out what they could. He was grateful they couldn’t make out anything.

“Don’t worry about who she is. You have a niece. Her name is Ella, and she will be two soon. She’s perfect.” He put his phone down showing them the picture you’d sent him earlier that day of her eating a cookie. Shanna and Carly both gasped then let out a collective “aw.”

“She has your eyes, Chris,” Shanna informed. He nodded. “She’s gorgeous,” Carly added. He smiled unable to hold it back anymore.

“What kind of woman hides a child from her father?”

“She says she didn’t do it out of spite. When we knew each other, I wasn’t this stable. Remember me almost three years ago?”

They each slowly nodded. “You were pictured with a different woman almost every night,” Shanna very vocally announced. “It was not every night.”

“Yeah, it was. You couldn’t keep it in your pants little brother,” Carly added. Scott snorted and tried to stifle his laughter.

“Whatever. I was single and enjoying life. Anyway, who I was then—a kid—there was no way that would have worked. I’ve done a lot of thinking and assessing mainly taking my feelings out of the equation. From an outsider looking in which is what she was, I was a hot mess.”

“Are you saying you condone what she did?” He looked at Carly’s big eyes. She was shocked. He was too. Two months ago he would never have been able to admit you were right, or think about the fact that your worries and concerns were valid. He could do that now. He didn’t condone what you did, but he was able to understand your choices; especially after spending time with Ella and feel the smallest part of the weight of having a child. He wanted to protect her from anything and everything. He understood how you felt.

“I don’t condone it, but I understand where she was coming from. I don’t like it, not at all, I missed a lot, and I’ll never be able to get that time back. Sometimes it makes me angry and resentful, but I don’t want to live in the past anymore. I want to find a way to make this work. She’s incredible, and I want to be her father.”

His siblings stared at him, then their smiles appeared.

“Wow, little brother all grown up, a baby,” Carly said as tears filled her eyes.

“Shut up you sap.” They all laughed then hugged in a group. He was grateful this wasn’t too bad, grateful that they weren’t angry with him for keeping this secret and thankful they’d accepted it so easily. He’d imagined tens of different scenarios where this went a whole lot differently.

“Ma is going to kill you.” Again, they all laughed, but it wasn’t a humored laugh. It was a nervous one, one they shared because now they all knew the secret.

The four of them sat at the island and ate some of the lasagna that Carly made while they asked tens of questions about Ella, questions he happily answered, and the more he answered he realized he knew a fair amount about her. That fact alone made him realize how far things had come.

By the time he left his sister’s house it was nearing nine. He made a stop at his friend’s house to pick up Dodger and went for a long walk hoping to clear his head.

As he walked down the familiar streets of his childhood, he allowed his mind to wander without controlling it. He smiled when he caught a whiff of apple pie. He could go for a slice. He followed his nose and made it to the nearby bakery and ordered a pie. As he drove back to his place his mind ran on you. He wondered what you were doing right now and imagined you were lying in bed scrolling through the tv lineup or working nonstop. He got the feeling you were a workaholic. As his mind drifted to what you may be wearing he took notice to how his palms began to sweat.

In the last week since the night on the cliff he’d had plenty of dreams about you, some were innocent, and others were so far from innocent they would make the worst sinner blush. He’d thought long and hard about what he may be feeling, and where his head currently was. He knew he didn’t hate you; he also knew that he still found you attractive, he also knew his body still reacted to you like oil to flame, and he struggled more lately to keep tight reins on his wanton thoughts.

The news that you were in fact still married was a huge monkey wrench for him. He’d just gotten used to the fact he had a daughter that he didn’t know, only just got used to the fact that you’d lied to him for so long. He’d just gotten over most of the hurt of knowing all of that and was beginning to figure out his place in Ella’s life. Now he still had a place in your life as well.

When he walked inside his home, he let Dodger roam free then laid out some food for him. He decided to hop in the shower. He hoped the steam would help him unwind. After ten minutes of thoughtlessness he was ambushed by thoughts of you again.

“Does she even want me in her life?”

The question was one he’d asked himself before, but it was concerning Ella, always with Ella. Now he was thinking of you alone. Your actions were polite; they didn’t point to either possibility. It looked as if you could take him or leave him. Your indifference made him a little insecure, and it drove him crazy. He wasn’t used to the feeling. He was always secure with himself. You gave off the feeling like you wanted to keep space between you. Every time the two of you seemed to be having a good time, or conversation was flowing, and the air around you changed something always happened, and in seconds it felt like the ice age. He didn’t know what he’d done. He began to wonder if this was from the present or the past. He wanted to bring it up, but he also didn’t want to ruin what was. You’d just gotten to a point where he didn’t lash out because of your actions, and you didn’t become angry defensive. He liked where you were now, but he couldn’t ignore the part of him that wanted more.

“I want more.” He sat on his bed still wrapped in his towel, staring out shocked by it. “How much more?” That was now the question. “Does she want more? Bro, she doesn’t act like it.”

Groaning, he dropped back onto his bed and sighed out trying to push the thoughts away. Suddenly his eyes snapped open. “We’re still married. Maybe if I keep it that way it’ll give me a chance to get to know her—outside of Ella.” He sat up and thought about his half-brained plan. “Maybe I should date my wife.” The words together had him laughing; it was ridiculous.

When he finally sat back down, he had the apple pie with him. He turned on the TV in the bedroom and allowed dodger to jump up on the bed. It was there they stayed. When his phone rang he reached over for it and saw it was a Facetime call from you. He smiled as he answered.

“Hi.” Your face popped up, but you didn’t speak. Your eyes also weren’t looking in his. He looked down and realized he was shirtless. He thought to turn the camera away to pull on a shirt but decided against it.

“Let’s do a little experiment.”

“Vixen?” You shook your head and cleared your throat. “Sorry, hi.” He smiled and straightened his back against his headboard.

“Did I wake you? It’s after eight.”

“Uh, no, it’s actually close to midnight where I am, and no you didn’t wake me.”

“Where are you?”

“Remember I told you I had to go back home for a day or two?” You closed your eyes and hit your head.

“I forgot, I’m sorry. Wow there’s been so much going on here.” He smiled and nodded; he completely understood. You worked too much.

“It’s okay; I get it. You’re doing a lot, being supermom, your restaurant, it’s a lot.” You didn’t speak again for a few moments. You just stared at him.

“Um, I was uh I was thinking about Ella’s birthday.”

“It’s coming up, right?” You nodded. He smiled getting excited. “What are you planning?”

“I wasn’t sure. It’s like so many things are different now.”

“What do you normally do?” You took a deep breath, and it was then he realized you were in bed. The nightgown you wore was a low cut one, and he could tell you weren’t wearing a bra. He shifted in the bed forcing his brain to focus on what you were saying.

“Well, it was her first birthday we did a party. I wanted to do one this year too but you’re—present and no one knows. I haven’t told my parents.”

“You’re not alone there. I told Scott my brother told him not to say anything, he did, and now I just told my sisters. My parents still don’t know.” You were looking down. “You okay?”

“Do they hate me?” You looked scared, and he had an overwhelming desire to protect you. Again, he shifted in the bed.

“I won’t let them hate you.” You looked to him with a shocked expression on your face.

“Don’t you hate me?” He began to wonder if that’s what you’d thought this whole time. He sat up and leaned closer to the camera and licked his lips. Your eyes fell to them.

“Vixen, I don’t hate you. If I’m being fully honest I tried to hate you. I tried really hard, but I couldn’t.” Several more moments passed with neither of you speaking; you just stared at him. He wondered what you were thinking.

“Why not?” You were really asking the tough questions, questions he still had yet to ask himself because he was afraid of the answer.

“Guess you’re just that likable.” He took the punk way out; he could live with it for now. You looked down, and it was then he heard Ella’s screams. You smiled then bent down, and Ella’s face came into frame. His smile spread.

“Cwis!” she waved excitedly into the camera, and he did the same.

“How are you?” She nodded then laid her head on your chest, which brought his eyes to your exposed cleavage. He was glad the camera stopped just below his chest.

“Why don’t you tell Chris what you did today, Ella.” She smiled sheepishly then began talking, and he just sat there listening to her broken words as they mixed with some proper ones to form a very detailed description of her day. He could listen to her talk all day, and he was getting better at understanding her words.

By the time she finished talking, she ran off, and he was left with your smiling face. He released something close to a content sigh. “You okay?” he nodded.

“I’m telling my parents tomorrow.” You make a yikes face then lay back onto your pillows. Your bed looked like it smelled of candy and flowers.

“It’s okay if you let them hate me. I understand.” You sounded defeated. He knew they wouldn’t hate you. They’d be angry and concerned for him. They’d also worry you may be like the women they’d warned him about in his early Hollywood days.

“They won’t hate you. They’ll be cautious,” he clarified. You snorted and shook your head.

“That's just a nice way of saying polite hate.” He smiled and sunk in his bed. Dodger dropped a paw across his face.

“Oh my god, is that a dog?” He shifted the camera to show Dodger, and your eyes bugged out.

“Oh my god, you have a dog. Duh. Wow.”

“What do you mean duh?”

“Through the years I’d seen magazine pictures of you and your dog, and heard you mention him in interviews. I just forgot.”

“Are you saying you’ve been keeping tabs on me these last few years?” Your eyes bugged out again, and you looked like you wanted to die. He pinched his lips thoroughly enjoying the fact you were embarrassed.

“Uh—I didn’t—I didn’t say that.”

“Yeah, you did. you followed my interviews and tabloid sightings?” You were squirming, and he loved it not only because you’d let something slip but because you looked so tortured.

“Wow, that is not what I meant. In passing you’d be on magazine covers and friends would read the articles and talk about it,” you stuttered out. You then groaned. “Shit, not what I meant. Damn, fine yes I’d see things about you from time to time. How could I not you’re everywhere.” He laughed, and you soon joined in. “I wasn’t stalking you.”

“Oh, I know. You would never, right.” You shook your head and rolled your eyes. Again, he put dodger into the frame. “This is Dodger. Can you say hello Dodger? This is Vixen.” Dodger licked the camera, and you smiled.

“Hi, Dodger. You’re such a cute little thing. Yes, you are.” Dodger barked then yelped into the camera which prompted the cutest little smile he’d ever seen. It was then Ella came running back in. “Doggie!” she proceeded to marvel over Dodger who was equally interested in this tiny human. Ella grabbed your phone and from then on it was her and Dodger, neither you or he could get any screen time.

After almost an hour, Ella was finally asleep on your chest, and Dodger whimpered clearly missing his new fixation. He was okay being replaced as long as it was by Ella. Your face came back into frame, and it was then he felt like he’d gotten hit upside his head with a brick. This was what he wanted. He wanted to hear Ella talk all day and all night until she passed out mid-sentence. He wanted to watch her, and Dodger interact and love each other, he wanted to watch her cuddled to you at night, he wanted to be domesticated. His chest felt heavy and tight all at once. He grimaced as the tightness intensified. He’d never felt like this before, and if he didn’t know his body he would think he was having a heart attack, but he knew that wasn’t it.

He wanted Ella, and he wanted you. He wanted lazy mornings, and he wanted fun-filled afternoons no matter if they included the meltdowns of an almost two-year-old. He wanted calm nights filled with The Little Mermaid and every Disney movie ever created; he wanted playgrounds, potties, tea parties, dress up, unicorn themed dance parties and everything else that came with that little girl. He wanted to be by your side when you accomplished every goal you could dream up. He wanted to see every smile, wipe every tear, and give you that beautiful life Zack wanted to. He wanted his family.

“Hello, Chris!” your voice pulled him out of his haze. He didn’t know how long you’d been calling him.

“Yeah, sorry.” You smiled as you held Ella to your chest.

“It’s okay. I’m going to put her down. Do you wanna go or stay?” It was a loaded question for him; it didn’t mean ending the call or not; it meant so much more. He swallowed and heard the gulp. It was so loud that Dodger shifted and looked at him with concerned eyes.

“Stay. I wanna stay.” You didn’t respond or get up right away; instead you studied him. It was as if you’d heard the double meaning in his words. You shook your head and gave a small smile, a smile that spoke of timidness. You didn’t expect him to say it.

“Okay, I’ll uh—um—I’ll be right back then.”

You placed the camera down, and he got a view of the sheets and your exposed thigh before you stood and slowly walked toward your door, the hem of the nightgown danced just under your backside and the reminder of his desire nudged against his sweatpants. He closed his eyes and tried to take some calming breaths. He’d only ever gotten this reaction from you—no one else. He’d taken notice the first person he’d been with after you, of course he pushed it to the side and out his mind and worked to keep it buried but there it was.

His mind went back to their night together at his house. It went over every detail again until he opened his eyes. Leaning over to the nightstand, he took up his wallet and took out the folded paper he held there. He took a deep breath and opened it and reread your words.

When you get the paperwork, send it here and consider it done. Have a nice life. 5578 Carsington Way P.O Box 2687, San Francisco, California.

“Have a nice life” was all his eyes saw. The way he read that sentence three years ago was nonchalant; he didn’t take too much time to think about how you’d meant them. Now he kept thinking about how’d acted the last few weeks; your house in Ella’s room, avoiding him, in the rain, the cliff and every encounter since then. Everything pointed to you not being interested just as you must not have been interested then. He studied the note and continued to debate with himself. When he saw you walk back into the room you leaned forward giving him a perfect view of your cleavage but his body did not react. Insecurities he’d held at bay for years rushed him.

“Sorry that took so long she left a bit of a mess in there, had to clean it up. She laid on her side with her hand holding her head up. The new angle of the camera gave him the perfect view from your head to your thighs. You looked like a dream. His dream.

“But am I hers?”

“Is everything all right?”

He shook his head, “Yeah, sorry, I’m—lost in my head tonight.” He rubbed his face trying to snap out of it.

“It’s okay. You’re entitled. Um, I’ve been thinking a lot the last few days,” you began. His breath hitched, and his pulse sped.

“About what?” You chewed your bottom lip and toyed with your fingers.

“Um—well—the last few months have been great. You’ve gotten to know Ella better, and she’s gotten to know you. She likes you, not a little either, like a lot. You’re really good with her, and I can tell you care about her.”

“I love her.” You froze, and he saw the glisten of tears in your eyes before you lowered your head. After a few moments you cleared your throat.

“I know we haven’t gotten everything ironed out with how we’ll co-parent, but you said you wanted to be involved--.”

“I do, more than anything,” he added. You nodded.

“So--you’re going to be around.”

“Yeah, definitely, as much as you let me. I’d love to be around more for her too.”

You didn’t speak again, you looked down, and his insecurities said you didn’t like that. For all he knew you probably didn’t want him anywhere. Looking at you he felt more insecure than he’d ever been. It was a feeling he didn’t like.

“It’s late,” he began. A look of shock washed over you before you covered it with an aloof expression. Irritation filled him.

“Yeah, night,” you responded and quickly ended the call. He sat there lost in his thoughts and unsure what he’d said.

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***If you want to be tagged please SEND AN ASK SO IT WILL BE EASIER FOR ME TO KEEP TRACK OF. Thank you for reading!!!

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TagList:

@sarahboseman @heyauntieeee @airis-paris14 @thiccdaddy-mbaku @wakandas-vibranium @wakanda-inspired @theunsweetenedtruth @ashanti-notthesinger @reignsxjackson @halfrican-heat @ambthegamer @simplyyamberr @muse-of-mbaku @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @maliadestiny @drsunshine97 @blowmymbackout @purplehairgawdess @thehuntoyobun @wakandamama @wakandawinning @profilia @zxddy-panther @h-challa @babygirlofwakanda @misswakanda2018 @ororowrites@hutchj @myfavemarvelfanfics @lavitabella87 @afraiddreamingandloving @autumn242 @purple-apricots @skysynclair19 @hersheyskissesss-blog @blue-ishx @90sinspiredgirl @tchallaswife @tchallamakesmeh0lla @turn-thy-paige @blackchickfics @blackpantherismyish @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @naturally-bri @flawlesslybeautiful14 @qweentbh@lunaerly @theoutereffect@twilight-sapphire-lover @pupyluv247 @stark-red19 @cockyboysandsugarism@maverickabull @madbadsiren @aykanna @myaw731 @ruruly20 @mixedmelanin @brittyevans @bezzywazhere@laketaj24 @soulsparker @theresnomoregoodones @syreanne@loveandcigarillos @heyauntieeee @heybriheyyy @wakanda-bcth @uhlxis @maliadestiny @dadinhas-heat @yaachtynoboat711@geeksareunique @bultalongthewayside @ajspencer1892 @captiansaveasmut @imaginewhoever @terrablaze514 @starsshines-blog @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@darkandlovely94 @sithlordslut @wavyyc @naturalistamisslyn @nigarachi15 @madamslayyy @blackandfair @kreolemami @mylastnameisthe-fish @kaykay0829@chaneajoyyy @tequilajay27 @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @slimmiyagi @im5ftbutmythroat66 @jaeee-http@madhatterhelsing @sunflowerpsalms @wakanda-shit-is-that @deliciousstreetkidcroissant @jecourt @vebner37 @disneysdarlingdiva @melaninmarvel @alanastormborn@dolphinpink310 @yourwonderbelle @ohleucothea @queentearra @bitchbetterhavemydinner @fentybabyy @kaykay4454fan @priya212 @kitkit1690 @chrismarcs @beautycomesindifferentformsworld @blackpantherimagines @ovohanna24 @sweetpeachjones @kslo000 @nubian-queen18 @omgsuperstarg @airis-paris14 @sisterwifeudaku @mejustme06 @ilcb7 @leahnicole1219 @destinio1 @drsunshine97 @blue-ishx @inlovewithmakeupcomicsanimelove @prettyprincessushio @treeondrea @ursapharoh05 @blackpinup22 @kaytauru @big3gocandykahn @kissingpineapples @wildaboutchrisevans @fitfineandstayingalive @misspooh @michele-onel @gorjiss @blacklotus-of-the-black-kingdom @muva-milaje @limbo-limbo-limbo @awkwardlyabstract @blxck-brxndie @meeky-imagines @inlovewith3 @metalarmlover @mellowjellow6 @scrumptiouslytenaciouscrusade@sweettea-and-honeybutter@thatrandomhetaliachick @missdeerstalker15 @ursapharoh05 @treeondrea @ovohanna24 @marvelheaux @romanceoftheeveryday @mufasathatniggatho @cltex84 @sweetbearcolorgarden @msincognito67 @mosagram @lunaerly @mar-ta-3 @ljstraightnochaser @lewatigress @akimi-youngblood @bekahdean87 @jasmindaughteroftheworld@cocooned-butterfly @emoniclark22 @chereedrop619 @theblulife @niggarachi15 @drsunshine97 @msincognito67 @missdeerstalker15 @wakandamama @great-neckpectations @avenger-marvel-fan @arieljamiyla @vibranium-soul @monae-boss @queenxchallaxkillamonger@amirra88 @jaeee-http @omg-itsnadi @fonville-designs @sydneebleu @cherrystainedlipsbaby @behindthesehazeleyes27 @areubeingserved @kelbabyblue @academic-glowup @patzammit @yourwonderbelle @pennywisesmistress @squeackygee @noramushroom @titty-teetee @ab-baybay @kreolemami @impossiblegiantrebelbasketball @dangerouslovefanfic @heladoom @renesmeeharelds @zaddysqueen7 @alyxkbrl

#love maybe fic #chris evans fanfiction #Chris Evans #Chris Evans X black reader #chris evans x you #chris evans x reader #angst fanfic #slow burn fanfic #chris evans smut

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olderthannetfic · 5 years ago

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It’s International Fanworks Day and also the 30th and final post in this series. If you follow my tumblr, you know that my true fandom isn’t buddy cops or Highlander or any of those things. No, my true fandom is...

WANK

No matter which bitchy piece of fujo-course nonsense you’re looking at on tumblr, no matter which debate about WNGWJLEO or women in slash or fanfiction vs. media you're reblogging, your grandma was having that fight in a zine somewhere in 1985 and at Escapade in the 90s.

Here’s a vid review from 2002:

"History Repeating," [...] was an Amanda vid. In-fucking-credible. Who knew? Who knew I could like Amanda? Who knew there were fresh HL clips I hadn't seen a thousand times before in HL vids? (Of course, as someone pointed out, she had her own spin-off.) This rocked--sharp, fast cutting and pretty, pretty shots, with a hot bisexy vibe running through it. And, you know, people like to say that there's all this self-hating misogyny in fans--you know, that women hate shows about women, hate women characters breaking up the OTP, etc. But when you see a femme-centric vid like this bring down the house, you really have to wonder. Is it misogyny, really, or is just that we usually see a bunch of crap representations of women in media and resist them?

So on the theme of There Is Nothing New Under The Sun, here is a selection of past Escapade panels on gender, representation, and problematicness:

1993 - Anti-Feminism in Slash Fandom (Or, how 'it was never this good with a woman' syndrome... where are the women, and why do we care?)

1995 - Why Lesbians Read Slash - (What's the attraction? Why do they care? Why do they write it?)

1996 - Character Bisexuality: Convenient fiction or character trait? (Is this a good compromise between "We're not gay, we just love each other" and "I was gay all along and just faking it with women"? Or is this too easy? Special mention for the stereotypical bisexual villian who's evil, sexy, and can come on to everyone.)

1996 - Female Heroes: Female Empowerment, or male power in women's bodies? (Give a woman a gun and make her really tough. Wow, cool! yes, or no? Are we celebrating women, or are we merely putting breasts on male action heroes? Heroines under discussion may include (but not be limited to) Sara Connor, Ripley, Vasquez, Thelma & Louise.)

1997 - Gender Astigmatism (The Gender Continuum: in what we read, in what we write, and what we are, there is always a connection with a point on the gender continuum. How do our definitions of "feminine" and "masculine" influence our creativity? Where do bisexual characters fit in? (besides there, you dirty-minded person!)

1998 - Xena: Does Girl-Slash Get Us Going? (Xena is the first show with a feminine couple to be really popular. What kind of slash fans are interested? Does gender orientation matter? Or do slash fans love slashy couples regardless of their gender? Can m/m fans be 'converted' to f/f fans?)

1998 - Bastards & the Women Who Love Them (When Methos says, "you live to serve me," any normal '90s woman says, "I don't think so!... or does she? A happy contemplation on the virtues of handsome thugs.)

1998 - Slash: a Continuation of Women's Writing, led by Constance Penley (In case you didn't know, in her recent book NASA/TREK (yes, the slash is intentional), she addressed slash as a continuum of women's writing, combining women's romance, and the male quest romance. Join her for a discussion of slash -- where it was, where it is, where it might be going.)

1998 - The Trauma of Slash Fans in Het Fandoms (Or, what to do when find women doing all that cool, tough-guy stuff you love.)

1999 - Male Slash Fans - Welcome Voice, or Infringement? (Slash is written by women for women — or is it? The Internet has attracted new fans, including the "male slash fan". Who is he? What does he think of what "we" do? Do we care?)

2002 - Femslash (General discussion on female/female slash fiction. If Buffy wanted something cold and hard between her legs, why didn't she just choose silicon?)

2003 - Slash: Feminist political act or really good porn?

2005 - Where have all the lesbians gone? (When some slash lists explicitly state m/m only, where do you go for femslash? Are there any hot femslash couples? Pimp your femslash fandom here, or bemoan the lack of strung female characters in the current conservative social climate.)

2007 - Femslash: The Other Love That Dare Not Speak Its Name (Femslash. It's a work that makes some of our hearts leap for joy and inspires complete and total disinterset—or even dislike and disdain—in others. Where can we find the good stuff? What makes it good? And what's up with the haters?)

2007 - SGA: The Women of Atlantis (What do we like about how the women of SGA are written and portrayed, and what makes us wince? What do we think about how their issues are being woven into the show's narrative?)

2008 - Gay is Not Slash (...even though slash is sometimes gay. The current argument about m/m romances by women as taking recognition *away* from male gay writers, depends on m/m writing being intended as gay lit. And slash, for one, isn't, even if there can be overlap. What overlaps? What doesn't? What examples do fans like?

2009 - Female Character Stories: Halfamoon, Full Moon or Just Moony (F/f slash, and other stories centered on female characters, are gaining visibility in fandom. Are there things fens will write about women that we won't about men? (Given MPreg, *are* there?) Should f/f be like m/m, or is it unavoidably different?)

2011 - My ***** is Not Ideologically Driven, But is it Homophobic (Slash fandom often sees itself as a mostly liberal community. IDIC, right? But recently there's been a slash backlash: it's anti-feminist, a 'symptom' of internalized misogyny. We're 'erasing' the women characters after all. Is slash homophobic? Does slash fandom appropriate gay culture? Is it awesome and ennobling as it makes us happy in our panties, or is all that self-hatred bubbling just beneath the surface of our porn?)

2012 - Natural Woman (We've lamented the lack of strong, believable female characters (who dress appropriately). But now we have them: Gemma Teller and Audrey Parker; Salt and Haywire; we've got Bechdel-passing women who look like they can throw a punch. Still, most of them are in the sci-fi or action genre, so are we really seeing progress? And what are we doing with them, as fans?)

2012 - Don't Call It a Bromance (It's Just Canon) (TPTB are increasingly aware of slash, and bromance is regular fare on TV canon these days. Does overt bromance make the fic and art hotter or just vanilla? Is there an anti-slash backlash in our shows? Is the emphasis on men's relationships making women disappear? Inquiring minds want to know. If you have answers, theories, or just want to squee, join in the fun!)

2014 - (The End of?) Ladybashing in Slashfic (Slashfic used to regularly feature bashing of female characters. Now, blatant bashing seems less fashionable. If you recognize this trend, let's talk! Were most ladybashing fics ones for juggernaut pairings in megafandoms, or were they everywhere? What's causing the change: more women in leading roles/ensemble casts, fic writers being more conscious to avoid bashing ladies even if they're not their favorites, more willingness to blame show writers' bad writing (instead of the character being just bad/evil/stupid) for bad female characters, or something else entirely?)

2015 - Fifty Shades of Fandom (Fifty Shades of Grey has become the representation of fan fiction in mainstream culture. It’s bad fan fiction, and it’s being used to ridicule women while making millions off women readers and viewers. Can we connect with these women: proto-fans who would love to read, and maybe write, great fan fiction if they found it? Can we use the FSoG phenomenon to expand our community? Does keeping our doors closed and our mouths shut perpetuate both monetization of our fan culture and misogynist scorn?)

2016 - Who Are We? (How do we define ourselves in this age of so many OT3s and team orgy pairings? Does m/m/f count as "slash"? Is slash-only space slipping away? (And would that be bad?) Do m/m and f/f belong together more than they do with m/f? Is "Media Fandom" a valid term any longer? Who are we if we start shipping het?)

2016 - Ladies Loving Ladies. (There would seem to be enough queer women in fandom to write/want more f/f. Do lesbians write f/f, m/m? Both? Do straight women? Or are we still missing the iconic female characters and relationships that create a great slash fandom? Did they figure out the answer to this question at TGIF/F and if so, what is it?)

2016 - By Us For Us (Fic, even kinky slash, is practically mainstream these days. The ebook revolution puts publishing within reach of almost anyone. Sundance hits have been filmed on iPhones. So why aren't fangirls making more media? Or is it happening right under our noses? Is this a place where our women's gift economy does our community a disservice? Discuss what's out there, what we'd like to see, and what's holding us back.)

2017 - LGBTQIA+ in Slash Fandom (Queer fans have always been here. In a subculture often defined as "for" straight women, what do we as fans have to say about non-straight, non-cis, and non-conventional sexuality and gender in fanfiction, in fandom, and in the larger culture?)

2018 - Confronting the Tensions Between Slash and Queer Representation (Slash fandom thrives on homoerotic subtext. Many queer fans are unwilling to settle for this quasi-representation. Part of every slash fandom seems loudly invested in their ship becoming canon. Some are queer fans who want actual textual representation in their favorite shows, and some are fans using queer politics to fight ship wars. Then the “slash is not activism” posts make the rounds. Is slash activism? Is advocating for slash ships in canon the same thing as advocating for queer representation?)

2018 - Representing Slashers (What does "representation" in the media mean to us? We know what more gay or POC representation means, but what about slash fandom, which is largely female and focused on bodies that don't resemble our own? Would better female characters in media better represent us? Or male characters written for a female audience? Come talk about the intersection of slash, personal identity, and media representation.)

2018 - Anonymity in Slash Fandom: Choosing to Hide (Why do the majority of slash fans hide their hobby? Is it fear of blackmail? Embarrassment? Fear of losing employment? How does this affect your happiness? How does this affect your security? What would an ideal world look like? Who would/have you told about your interest in slash? Who would you never, ever, tell?)

2019 - Fandom Post-Slash? (In an era of "ships" and #pairing #tags on Tumblr and AO3, has the "slash" label lost its meaning? Same-gender pairings are as popular as ever and fans still ID pairings with a virgule between the names, but how many fans still call m/m and f/f slash or femslash? How many fans identify as "slashers?" Het and slash were opposing binaries which few fans crossed. Are these barriers breaking down? What purpose has the term "slash" served? Has fandom moved

past it and, if so, what does that mean?)

#escapade 2020 #escapade con #fandom meta #fandom history

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qqueenofhades · 6 years ago

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So, it’s Friday evening, and it turns out I have more thoughts about things that happened this week. I almost never do Discourse on this blog, on whatever subject, but sometimes even your friendly local depressed historian gotta say things. If you’re not in the mood for a long-ass meta-y text post, just keep on scrolling, no hard feelings.

In the wake of the Notre Dame fire, which obviously a lot of us were upset about, and profoundly relieved that it did not end up being completely catastrophic, the usual spate of posts began to pop up, alleging that people only cared about Notre Dame because of the loss to Western/European/Christian history, that nobody had been this upset about the National Museum of Brazil or the outbreak of arson at three black churches in Louisiana in the same week, and so on. I don’t blame anyone for making those posts, because I know they cared about those issues and wanted to ensure that their importance was communicated, especially when something major like Notre Dame was getting all the airtime. However, I couldn’t help but notice how that followed the same pattern as all Woke Tumblr Discourse (tm). An event happens, people express reactions to it, and are then attacked or indirectly shamed for not expressing reactions to another event. Or there’s the usual cycle of “nobody will care about this because it’s not happening in America”-style posts, or passive-aggressive insinuations that “you don’t care if you don’t reblog this.” And -- I say this with the greatest kindness possible, because I know, I know you guys care -- it’s... not helpful.

The culture of Tumblr and other left-wing sections of social media often rests on enacting performative wokeness, on showing that you care about the most Progressive (tm) issues, or that you have thoroughly scrutinized your fandom tastes or political beliefs for anything Problematic and/or can prove yourself to an imagined moral standard (and there have been some great metas written on how this essentially replicates conservative evangelical purity culture, with the goalposts switched). This is why we keep having to circulate (and doubtless will have to do so with increasing frequency) those posts reminding the left not to eat its young and flame all prospective Democratic challengers to Trump in 2020 to a crisp before the right wing, which is only too happy to let us do the work of sabotaging ourselves, even gets a chance. This is also why you see the posts responding to said angry “nobody cares about this!” posts, in which people mention the fact that not visibly reacting to all the (vast and terrible) injustice in the world does not mean they don’t care. The world is a big place. So is the internet. I can guarantee you that people do care, and just because you didn’t see immediate evidence and response to it when you opened up your Tumblr dash is not proof of a collective nefarious conspiracy.

Take me, for example. I am a thirty-ish academic and historian who considers myself well-informed and literate in current events. I read national and international news every day to find out what’s going on (because I live in England, the answer is Brexit, and the status is Failed). And yet, there are plenty of things that I only hear about for the first time on Tumblr, often attached to one of those “nobody cares about this!” posts. And you know what? I do care. I care a lot. And I’m guessing that most other people do as well, because no matter how it may feel, the majority of individuals are fundamentally decent people with basic empathy for others, even if our whole system is a nightmare. But the urge to demand why nobody is Discoursing about this issue (again, among a vast and exhausting sea of them) needs to take a few fundamental things into account.

First, the American media (as a large portion of readers are relying on) simply does not report this stuff. Look at what’s happening in that godforsaken country right now; does it really seem like the kind of place that’s eager to tell you about Brazilian museum fires or black-church arson? I’m someone who makes a conscious effort to read the news no matter how depressed it makes me, and I still miss tons of stuff, because it’s not there. The Western media reported on Notre Dame, people knew about it, and were upset. But when those of them who did not know about the National Museum of Brazil learned about it, they were also upset. We can definitively say now that the National Museum was a bigger and more irreplaceable tragedy in terms of what burned. But we were also apparently 15-30 minutes away from losing all of Notre Dame. You can be upset about both these things. You can express empathy for the history lost in both cases. There is not a greater moral value attached, and you’re not racist for caring about Notre Dame if you heard about it first (unless you’re only upset about Notre Dame for reasons related to race or perceived cultural superiority and are peddling vile conspiracy theories about Jews and Muslims intentionally burning it down, in which case you are a racist). Almost everyone who learned about the National Museum fire was just as horrified.

2019 is a hard and monstrously unfair and tremendously difficult place to live. The internet has made exposure to both all the information and no real information at all simultaneously possible. Not everyone can display active engagement and empathy with every tragedy everywhere. People have jobs, lives, kids, work, school, other commitments, mental and physical health to look after and even when they read the damn news, there’s no guarantee whatsoever the news is going to report it. If they haven’t made the conscious effort to search out every scrap of terribleness that exists in this hellworld, they.... really should not be shamed for that. If they don’t care even after they learn, that’s another debate. But again, in my experience, most people do. But if they are first exposed to it by someone claiming they won’t care, that makes them less likely to engage with it, and to want to enact meaningful change. Firing wittily sarcastic takedowns at easy targets on echo-chamber liberal Twitter is one thing. We all enjoy a good roast and venting our frustration at times. But as a long-term engagement strategy, it’s going to actively backfire.

I talk a lot about being a teacher, and my experiences with my students, but it’s relevant again, so here goes. The kids in my classes come in believing some pretty strange things, or they flat out don’t have a clue even about what I consider basic historical knowledge. If my reaction was to shame them for not knowing, when they have expressly come to me to learn better, I’m pretty sure I’d be a bad teacher. My strategy, whenever a student can actually be nudged to answer a question, is to pick out whatever correct thing they said. Even if the rest of the answer is wrong and we need to work through it, I start by highlighting the part of it that was right, and to build their confidence that I’m not just going to tear them down when they respond. Freshmen are scared of not knowing things and to be made to look like an idiot, so I try to assure them that I’m not going to do that and I will constructively engage with their contribution and treat it seriously. You can then move to dealing with the other parts of it that may not be right, or even Mmm Whatcha Say side-eye. It is a long and often frustrating process and sometimes after reading their essays, you wonder how much of an impression you made. But if you actually want to get people to care about things, you can’t mistake Ultimate Wokeness or Look How Progressive/Anti-establishment/Enlightened I Personally Am for the simple requirement of being a decent person. You can have the greatest and most necessary beliefs or value systems in the world, but if your response to people is to lash out at them even before they begin the conversation, you’re setting yourself back. And I know that’s not really what you want to do.

This should not be interpreted as some wishy-washy “everyone just needs to be nice to each other!!!” kindergarten-playground-rule. I frankly think the whole system could use a good nefarious dismantle, and you sure as hell don’t get there by mistaking insipid moral equivalence for necessary action. But accepting the existence of people different from you, and considering how you want to engage with them, and understanding that issues are complicated and people are flawed, is a fundamental part of being a mature adult (and this has nothing to do with chronological age; there are 15-year-olds who are plenty more mature adults than 50-year-olds). I honestly do love the desperate desire to make people care, and that, for the most part, is why people who identify as liberal or left-wing do so, because they want to (and they do) care. But it’s also why they can be bad at winning elections and getting into meaningful positions to enact this change. The right wing stays on message and sticks together. Even if they absolutely hated Trump, plenty of Republicans held their noses and voted for him anyway. The left did not do that. The greatest virtue of liberal thought, i.e. its determination to include multiple perspectives, has increasingly reduced it to smaller and smaller camps where only the purest survive, like some kind of ideological Hunger Games. It might be great for making yourself look good to your hall of mirrors, but.... not so good for actually doing something long-term.

Once again, this is not to blame anyone for being upset and worried about things, for wanting people to know about them, and so forth. But I am gently-but-firmly suggesting, in my capacity as old, salty, queer spinster academic aunt, that perhaps you consider how you start the conversation. Once again, it’s my experience that most people want to know and want to care, but there are countless factors that mean not every bad thing in the world will be acknowledged everywhere by everyone at all times. You can care about different things for different reasons. That is okay. You can care about something because you have a personal connection to it. That is also okay. You can not care about something because you just don’t have the capacity and are emotionally exhausted and there’s so much shit in this world that you have to compartmentalize and set boundaries. That is also okay.

For example, I was obviously very upset about Notre Dame, and still am, though I’m relieved it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Am I happy it’s going to be restored? Yes. Am I unbelievably angry that a half-dozen of the elite uber-rich could just suddenly throw billions of euros at it for its restoration, when it had to struggle for years to get funding for crucial renovations? Yes. Do I feel as if that if the vaults have suddenly been opened to restore one major European Christian landmark, it’s incredibly heartbreaking that that level of instant capital just won’t be addressed to actual endemic, long-term issues like global warming and social inequality and the Flint water crisis and whatever else, and that this is a sad and troubling message for our society in many ways? Yes. All of these things exist together. And I imagine most people feel the same way.

In short: I realize this is the internet, and therefore just is not designed to do that, but maybe we can give each other a little bit more of the benefit of the doubt, and think about how we would like to educate and engage those we come in contact with, whether virtually or in reality. We can do it wherever and whoever we are, with anyone that we meet, and I wonder what it would be like if we did.

#hilary for ts #history #notre dame #Le Discourse #anyway yes #i just felt like it needed to be said #nothing particularly original perhaps #and it has been said before #but still #long post

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abalathia · 5 years ago

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never-ending survey: esja

RULES: Repost, do not reblog. Tag 10 blogs!

tagged by @yascaret! thank you! <3 tagging @nekun-uul, @nascentflash, @s-udarshana, @lavender-hemlock, @blood-of-the-dragons, @hingan-fox, @fairwindsandblueskies, @warpstargazer, @red-hare, @wood-warder, and anyone else! feel free to use me as your tag if you brave this! ;)

BASICS.

FULL NAME : Esja Fiala

NICKNAME : The Violet Warder

AGE : Appears late 20s, actual age unknown.

BIRTHDAY : 16th Sun of the 5th Umbral Moon

ETHNIC GROUP : Viera (Veena)

NATIONALITY : Ivalician (?)

LANGUAGE / S : Common

SEXUAL ORIENTATION : Bisexual.

ROMANTIC ORIENTATION : Heteromantic.

RELATIONSHIP STATUS : Single.

HOME TOWN / AREA : Skatay Mountain range.

CURRENT HOME : An isolated hunter’s cabin buried deep in the Shroud.

PROFESSION : Survivalist, hunter, and mercenary.

PHYSICAL.

HAIR : Naturally platinum, dyed to a beige blonde.

EYES : A pale violet blue.

FACE : Stoic, serious, and determined yet still radiant with an underlying beauty.

LIPS : Of average size and often left natural or stained to match her traditional tribal paint.

COMPLEXION : Ivory.

BLEMISHES : None.

SCARS : Several, each a reminder of the war she fought, the Wood she protected, and the comrades lost.

TATTOOS : A golden sunburst that spans from her ribs to her thigh.

HEIGHT : 6′3″.

WEIGHT : Average.

BUILD : Slim and athletic.

FEATURES : Slightly upturned nose, full eyelashes, faint dimples, mid-length ears left thick with fur, and fingers stained a muddy brown.

ALLERGIES : None.

USUAL HAIR STYLE : Typically left natural, thicks waves parted down the middle hang to her waist. When working, she pulls it back into a messy ponytail with plaits and strands of leather. It is common to see it adorned with beads and feathers.

USUAL FACE LOOK : A thick painted band across her eyes with two finger swipes beneath on either cheek. These are either in tones of sienna or sepia, and it is not common to see her without them.

USUAL CLOTHING : Leathers, furs, and brass jewelry. She has not taken to the more casual style commonly seen throughout Eorzea and instead sticks with her traditional attire.

PSYCHOLOGY.

FEAR / S : Failure, insignificance, being forgotten.

ASPIRATION / S : To achieve greatness and be worthy of remembrance outside the confines of her tribe.

POSITIVE TRAITS : Determined, resourceful, confident, resilient.

NEGATIVE TRAITS : Reckless, impatient, competitive.

MBTI : ISTJ-A (Architect)

ZODIAC : Nymeia (Libra)

TEMPERAMENT : Phlegmatic.

SOUL TYPE / S : Warrior.

ANIMALS : Wolf.

VICE HABIT / S : Drinking, smoking, fighting, isolation.

FAITH : Religious, no. Spiritual, absolutely. Though she tries not to insult or anger any deities.

GHOSTS ? : Yes.

AFTERLIFE ? : Eh.

REINCARNATION ? : Eh.

ALIENS ? : Eh...?

POLITICAL ALIGNMENT : She cares not for politics, and does not burden herself with the workings of a land she will eventually leave, too.

EDUCATION LEVEL : Common education, but relies more heavily on experience rather than the teachings of those long dead.

FAMILY.

FATHER : Estranged.

MOTHERS : Estranged.

SIBLINGS : Potentially many, but she knows of none of them.

EXTENDED FAMILY : Many. Some she was close to, some she’s never met. All estranged.

NAME MEANING / S : Fiala, the small and secluded mountain tribe she hails from that I totally made up and also means violet in czech :P.

HISTORICAL CONNECTION ? : No.

FAVORITES.

BOOK : Old and dusty tomes detailing the victories of the heroes of old.

DEITY : None.

HOLIDAY : All Saints Wake.

MONTH : October.

SEASON : Autumn.

PLACE : Deep within the woods where only the trees may speak.

WEATHER : Hazy, rainy days.

SOUND / S: Crackling fires and distant thunder.

SCENT / S : Tobacco, lingering rain, damp wood.

TASTE / S : Whiskey, spiced apples, fresh herbs.

FEEL / S : Fur, wet grass, tree bark, rough skin.

ANIMAL / S : Wolves, ravens, stags. (Plus the fox kit and road sparrow she calls family.)

NUMBER : 6

COLORS : Sienna, white, olive, beige, black, copper.

EXTRA.

TALENTS : Surviving, hunting, drinking grown men under the table, shit-talking, incessant flirting, and kicking your dad’s ass.

BAD AT : Losing, singing, dancing, cooking anything that isn’t over a campfire.

TURN ONS : Men - rough hands, facial hair, scars, muscles, abrasive personalities, good hair. Women - soft lips, sweet voices, humorous, strong-willed, independence.

TURN OFFS : Carelessness, stupidity, attention-seeking, ignorance.

HOBBIES : Hunting, leatherworking, making jewelry, sketching, drinking all day long.

TROPES : Badass Teacher, Crazy Prepared, Action Girl, The Leader, To Be Lawful or Good, One of the Boys, Nature Lover, Lady of War, Guys Smash Girls Shoot, etc.

QUOTES : “Got a light?”

MUN QUESTIONS.

Q1 : If you could write your character your way in their own movie, what would it be called, what style would it be filmed in, and what would it be about?

A1 : Beyond the Wood - a southern gothic film riddled with a feeling of discomfort, lurking cryptids, old gods, and one badass bun.

Q2 : What would their soundtrack/score sound like?

A2 : Dark folk with eerie instrumentals and scratchy voices that make you feel both at home and like something is watching you from the woods outside your window.

Q3 : Why did you start writing this character?

A3 : Esja has had many faces. She started as a warrior bun, went off the rails as a botanist, and ultimately transformed into the woman she is now. I’ve always loved southern gothic and norse themes, and I decided to cram them both together. I didn’t think it would work so well, but she’s easily my favorite thing ever.

Q4 : What first attracted you to this character?

A4 : Everything. I’ve wanted a viera since I was a little kid, and I was so sad to have to wait so long to play one in FFXIV. I’d resigned myself to using mods for eternity, but bless SE for finally giving me the option. Also, who doesn’t love a strong lady bun?

Q5 : Describe the biggest thing you dislike about your muse.

A5 : Her desire for infamy and immortality overshadows any craving for love, and it makes me feel for her. She’s so wrapped up in her dreams and hides behind the walls she’s built that she’ll probably never find it. It’s easy to find company for the night, but we all know that isn’t satisfying forever. I keep my fingers crossed for her, though.

Q6 : What do you have in common with your muse?

A6 : I, too, am a lone wolf who does no evil but takes no shit. But honestly, I have been pulling a lot of inspiration from Esja to apply to real life. I’ve started hiking, I want to learn how to shoot a bow and arrow, and I’ve stood up for myself a lot more since creating her. She’s my muse in every sense of the word!

Q7 : How does your muse feel about you?

A7 : I would for sure be one of the green adventurers she mentors. Though I imagine she’d kick my ass off a cliff for whining too much.

Q8 : What characters does your muse have interesting interactions with ?

A8 : I’ve only had a handful of roleplays with Esja, but she will easily have a good time with anyone willing to arm wrestle and get drunk under a full moon. If that’s your jam, hit a girl up!

Q9 : What gives you inspiration to write your muse ?

A9 : Vikings, norse mythology, southern gothic aesthetic, the supernatural, dense forests, folk music, and folk horror.

Q10 : How long did this take you to complete ?

A10 : Started at 11am and worked on it off and on throughout the day.

#ooooo that was a doozy #these are always fun though!#esja fiala #prompt

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benjaminjofaiho · 5 years ago

Text

The Captain Next Door Ch.1

Summary: You’re a doctor who also just so happens to be a fan fiction writer. You love lots of fandoms but Captain America is by far your fave, so what happens when you get a new job, move to Brooklyn and realize that the brownstone you bought is right next door to Captain America? Obviously shenanigans ensue.

Warnings: cursing, smutt (eventually)

Authors note: Ok guys, this is literally my first fanfic and it’s about the Cap. Please be gentle! Also guys I really do live for a slow burn so that will be present heavy, I hope you can stick with it. Let me know what you think and please, reblog, like and comment! Love y'all! P.S. I do not currently have a beta and the ‘f’ and ‘u’ keys on my keyboard are messed up so incase you see repeating letters anywhere they aren’t supposed to be feel free to let me know.

You wiped the sweat forming on your head from the sweltering Brooklyn heat. You were from Texas but this was definitely more than you were used to, or expected from everything you’ve seen on TV about New York. You sat on the stoop of your Brooklyn Brownstone waiting and started to think back. Three months ago you were in your parents living room opening up a heavy envelope from a hospital you’ve only dreamed of. Your father beamed from ear to ear, chest swelling with pride and tears were already in your mom’s eyes the moment a paper cutter went through the envelope. Your eyes flew across the page “Y/FN Y/LN, We would like to offer you the position of Head of Cardiology here at Mount Sinai...” everything else had been a blur. All your sleepless nights in college, all the anxiety, stress, sacrifices of missed birthdays and family gatherings, all of it had lead up to this moment and it had all been worth it. Your job started in the next 5 months and you had to pack up your Texan life and move all the way to the ‘big Apple’ as your dad called it. Besides the fact that you were infatuated with the city since you were a little girl, you were ready for a change of scenery. There were so many good memories here in Fort Worth but thanks to your asshole ex, Daniel, there were also a lot of sour ones as well. Your parents and your younger siblings helped you pack up your little house that was just 15 minutes from theirs. You were able to get everything done in about 2 weeks. At the airport your family saw you off. Your younger brother, Benjamin, eyes were red.

“Aww baby brother are you crying because you’re going to miss me?” you pinched at his cheeks.

Swatting your hand away he chuckled “Nah, I’m just thinking about how you’re gonna be in a whole nother state bossing people around and how you’ll finally be able to mind your own business and stay out of mine.” You hugged him and he bent down so you could kiss his forehead. Even though you were 26, a whole 7 years older than him and 5’8, he still towered above you.

Turing to your 3 youngest sisters, Joy, Faith and Hope. Their names a testament to just how southern and Christian your parents were. They were huddled together crying freely, looking like little black angels in a chapel. You hugged each of them while the youngest, Hope, held on the longest. You hugged her until she was ready to let go. You kissed Faith on the cheek and moved to turn to your parents. The third oldest Joy grabbed you and hugged you once again, fiercley. She whispered in your ear “Y/N, I don't know how to do it. I don't know how to take care of them the way you took care of us, what are we gonna do without you?”

You looked into her brown eyes “Joy, babe all you have to do is love them. Also I’m just a FaceTime call away, PLUS I’m a big shot doctor so it ain’t nothing for me to hop on a plane for y’all. Girl I got monnneeyyyy” That managed to get a little laugh from her and you stepped back to look at your siblings. Technically yes, they were your younger ones but due to the large age gap you always looked at them as your children, your babies. The 4 of them huddled around you once more and hugged. You turned to your dad who was never one to shy away from his emotions, was all but balling.

“Come on dad, you gotta hold it together man!” he laughed and wiped at his cheeks

“I’m just so proud of you baby girl, you inspire your brother and sisters to do more, your mother and I have always told you that, but I never told you, you inspire me to. I am beyond proud of you.”

“Aw dad, I love you so much” Pulling you into one of his patented hugs he said “I love you too. You’re going to the big apple now Doc, make sure you take a bite” Kissing your forehead you turned to face your mom. Oh boy. Of you made it through this one you would be home free, no ugly snot face crying. She gave you the best smile she could and that was it. The dam broke and you were sobbing. She hugged you and told you how proud of you she was, how you were a shining light for your siblings and the family as a whole. She told you that she also packed some food from home in your suitcase so you could settle in a little easier. You looked at her with a heart full of nothing but love. You were a little neurotic, and had a tendency to be anal retentive, planning and sticking to strict schedule for everything, predicting 10’000 possible outcomes to any situation but your mother was always there for you. Always remembering anything you didn’t. You thought of how she was really the only one you would let see vulnerable and take care of you. You would miss that in New York. Picking up your hand luggage you were whisked through security thanks to your first class ticket. Turning once more now passed security you stood up on your tip toes and waved emphatically to your family, not caring who saw you or them looking crazy. Your family had already been a little above average but this new job allowed you to even buy your wants not just your needs. You settled down in your chair and noticed only a handful of people were in your cabin. A stewardess came to offer you some champagne and you politely declined. Looking out the window a few seconds letting the last tear fall you put your curly hair up, you had to get to work.

So yes, you were a doctor and that was all good and fun but you were also a huge nerd. Huge. While most people went to the club, concerts and generally having pretty good times outdoors you were stuck at home. Even when not studying you were still stuck to your computer. Once your family insisted on going to six flags and you brought your ipad with the attachable keyboard and your family kept talking about how dedicated of a student turned intern turned full-fledged doctor you were. If only they knew… You were working on your fanfiction and your followers and subbies were a bunch of savages! If they didn’t get their fix from you and you didn't stick to your upload schedule, your inbox would definitely be a madness, all sorts of threats and your lovelies would call you everything but a child of God. You’d been away for about a month and a few days now and your beta, Jay had started texting your actual phone. You met Jay on Tumblr a few years before, there had been some light flirtation always present but never anything serious. You worked better as friends and when you decided to get into fanfiction to blow steam off, he proved a good beta reader.

TXT From Jay: Doc! Where the hell are you at? Your rabid readers are jumping down my throat trying to you. Why you would leave a major cliffhanger for Captain America, and Sonia I have no idea. They want to know what’s happening next, low key I do too.

You giggled. You thought of everything, you knew setting up a completely unaffiliated and untraceable account for your writing was a good idea. 1- you didn't want angry people in your inbox losing their minds. 2- You’ve been going for interviews and you didn't want a case where a potential employer would google your name and see all the filth you think about earth’s mightiest heroes and other people who don’t even exist. No way, you couldn't have that type of rep attached to you.

TXT From Y/N: Jaybaby, I’ve been going through it. Sorry, just been in the process of moving and you know life can get a little messy. Plus I really needed a break. Funnily enough I’m working on The Dangerous Dame right now. I’ll send the new chapter to you within the week. XO

Thinking back to seeing the avengers save New York you were grateful for them. They were kicking ass and taking names. Keeping all of us safe but damn if they weren’t all so fine. And you did mean ALL. To be honest that Natasha could. Get. It. All of them could get it. But there was something about that Captain America. He was sort of shy and had a boyish charm about him but that body made you think of pure sin. You wanted to wrap yourself around him and never let him go. You wanted to do nasty things to him. You wanted him to completely demolish you. So you did what everyone who is obsessed with anyone does. Try and consume as much media about said person as possible. Hey, It is the golden age of technology after all. After having your fill of random fan pictures, blurry videos of him in action you needed more stimulus. Where better to turn than Tumblr. Much to your dismay, there was barely any Cap Fanfic and when there was there was so little reader insert. And even then, there was literally less than 10 where he was actually into a black woman. This wouldn't do, you thought to yourself. That’s how Doctor Chris was born. Of course his name was Steve but he always sort of looked like a Chris to you. You didn’t just write about him but other people too, your stories took off and were a good escape from your hectic life.

A car pulled up to you on your empty street and a short round man with a very stereotypical New Yorker accent shouted up to you, shaking you our of your memories

“Ay lady, are you” his beady eyes peered at a piece of paper “Y/N? Are you Y/N?”

“Yes that’s me”

“Alright come get your unit, and not to be rude or anything but could you make it snappy? I got to make 15 more deliveries before the day is over.”

You slowly rose “Alright, I understand. However I paid for the delivery service? Aren’t y’all supposed to put it in my house?”

“Lady you paid for the delivery service, not the installation service. That's another fee.”

“I understand that” You replied still confused “ But I thought you would deliver it into my home.”

“No way lady, that’s the set up service. You paid for the delivery service. That's an entirely different fee.” He repeated.

“Understood” Your lips pulled into a flat line “Well sir could you at least help me get it into the first floor of my house?”

“Did you pay for transportation insurance?”

“….no…I didn-” he cut you off “Well sorry Lady, I can’t help you.”

“You can’t help me off load this huge AC and just carry it up 7 measly steps with me?”

“Nope, can’t do it. It’s against company policy. Say I should look up at a pretty bird cuz the day’s so gorgeous and what not, then your unit slips out of my hand, there goes your cool breeze. Who’s gonna pay for that? Certainly not the company, cuz you didn’t pay for the transport insurance. That's a different fee. Now you’re angry at me, I mean technically it was my fault for being so clumsy and distractable and what not. But guess who else isn’t gonna pay? Me! Then guess whos gonna be upset and take me to court but loose horrifically because my brother in law just passed the bar? You! So lady no, I can’t help you. Why don’t you get one of the other tenants in the building to help you?”

“Well, not that it’s any of your business, but I own the brownstone and I live alone. So there’s no one that could help me.”

“You had enough money to get a brownstone but not enough to pay the fee?”

“Alright thanks whatever your name is. I’ll just take my AC Now.”

You looked at him while you struggled for 15 minutes just to get the AC out of the truck and the second you safely had it on the baking concrete of the curb you heard the back of the truck slide down and heard a door slam. You turned around to see the truck driver starting up the car and he shouted over the roaring engine.

“Thanks for shopping with Coole Breeze, your number one cooling solution in the tricity area, have a frosty day!” and with that, he was off.

Even though you were wearing a pretty airy romper and you did work out about 3 times a week, that was nothing against that heavy ass air conditioner and that Brooklyn heat. You put your hands on top your head and squinted up the sky. You again thank God your street was empty. You must have sweated out your Twist out and edges by now. You were convinced you were looking crazy. But hey, It was a Tuesday at 1. Everyone who was someone was at work, kids were in school so it was just you and this behemoth air conditioning unit. Getting into classic Y/N calculations your decided what you were going to do. Yes, this AC was, technically for your room but you won’t be able to get it all the way up there by yourself right now so you can create a pulley system and pull it through the window. Huffing and puffing to your started mimicking your father.

‘Buy a fixer upper baby girl, it's a great investment. You could build your dream home and sell it eventually , it’ll be fun! Your brother and I will fly up there to help you whenever you need us or have free time. Matter of fact I’m pretty sure my army buddy Wilson still lives in New York…Not sure the part though. But I know he and his boy are engineers of some sort. I can even ring them up to help you when I can’t make it myself. This will be a terrific family project honey!’

“ Sure dad!” you shouted at no one in particular “ who’s going to help me now though?!” At least your mother had the foresight to buy you a fully equipped toolbox, 12 foot ladder and a whole bunch of things that a new homeowner/renovator needs. It took a bit of maneuvering but you were able to get the ladder out the door and down the steps. You were now atop of it, building and hammering away at a pulley system. You were determined to sleep in a chilly 50 degrees tonight, by any means necessary. You saw two men one white and one black, approaching from your left through your peripheral vision. You steeled yourself to any cat calling that may occur, from the angle - to what you had on, it wasn’t a good situation. You couldn't make out faces but you could see that one was visibly bigger than the other. They stopped walking a little behind you and you couldn't tell which one asked but you heard someone say

“Hi, do you need any help?”

“O fanks” You replied with a slight lift of your hand with a screwdriver hanging out the side of your mouth and a heavy covering of sweat on your forehead. Using the back of your hand to wipe the sweat off you removed the screwdriver from your mouth and cleared your throat then repeated “No thanks” In a clearer manner. Thinking to yourself how could these guys even help me? While screwing and grunting softly you weren’t mentally present. You were trying to solve the problem you created. You had written yourself into a corner and you were trying to figure out a way out of it. You started to get the thread of an idea that you were mentally trying to work into a tapestry for your readers, however, while still trying to flesh it out something else was fighting for your attention. In the back of your mind you heard his voice again.

“Are you sure? We may be able to be of better help than you thin-” Remembering your mothers call the night before talking about a movie she watched on lifetime where people in the ‘big city’ would help you get something into your house as supposed good Samaritans then come back and rob you, or do worse you decided against it instantly.

“Listen, thanks but no.” You huffed out “Apparently I paid for the delivery service and not the installation service as the lovely delivery man told me. This however does NOT include carrying my AC up the 4 flights of stairs to my bedroom because that's apparently another fee. So no, there isn’t anything you gentlemen could do for me” You heard a little chuckle behind you and heard a quieter deeper voice say:

“You have to pay the fees, that’s where they get you” his voice was full of laughter. He wasn’t outright laughing but you could still somehow hear it in his voice.

Momentarily forgetting you were on a ladder you whipped around to give the guy a piece of your mind. But all it takes is a moment. And in that moment, you were falling backward off a 12 foot ladder. Back, back, back, you go thinking this is how it would end. You dead on the concrete. You hadn’t been to china town yet! Why hadn’t you been to china town? Or the empire state building! OR the statue of liberty! You shouldn't have rushed your mom off the phone last night. You would have given anything to hear her aimless ramblings and numerous ‘be carefuls’ one last time. OH GOD! You hadn’t had sex in a year and a half! This is how you were going to die. Trying to tell off some harassers with an uncompleted house in your name before you started your dream job. You squeezed your eyes shut and braced for impact

Your body hit something that was hard like cement but was warmer and…. Somehow smelled like leather? And Christmas? And Home somehow? You opened your eyes to see a face partially obscured by a blue baseball hat pulled down over the front and a full beard. You couldn't see who he was and he was leaning in close to your face while he held you. There was something so familiar about him, but you couldn't place it. His voice kept fading in and out of your head.

“Ma’am? Ma’am! Stay with me!”

Sounding like echos of screams and whispers bouncing off the inside of your skull all at once you blinked slow and mustered out what you could:

“Don't…Tell me what to do…Asshole” and everything faded to black.

_______________________________________________________________________

Okay guys! thats about it for the first one. I would really appreciate the feedback! Is this something you would want more of? Or should I move on to some other fic ideas I have? Let me know and thanks for reading!

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