#I mostly try to keep my blog as like...a place people can go for A Mental Break from all this besides sharing actionable ways to help Pales
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wormchaser · 2 months ago
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you are complaining about complaining too much while complaining about the fact that maybe people dont like you because you complain too much while complaining about being alone. just stop complaining and do something about it. talk to people. reach out. dont just wait for someone to come to you first.
i have tried reaching out to different people in the past year or so but it never works. i understand its my own fault for letting relationships decay because of my own insecurities and issues but that doesn't mean i can just will myself to think or believe different things about myself. it's a self fulfilling prophecy ; i think people don't like me so i don't reach out so people don't like me etc . i am sure you do not want to hear me list all the things i want to say in response so i will put them in the tags.
#every time i try to reach out or talk to someone it goes nowhere. i dont have any social skills anymore and have no clue how to keep a#conversation going. half the time even when i do people stop replying to me. which is fine theydont owe me a reply but still feels likeshit#when i tried to make one new irl friend it just didn't work because they have better options for friends. we spoke occasionally but never#messaged online like ever and would only talk when we happened to be in the same place. i tried multiple times to organize a time to hangou#none of which came to pass. i dont understand why this one didn't work because i thought this person was interested in being my friend but#i guess i was wrong or thought they were more interested than they really were.#i have a problem with reaching out anyway which has been a problem i have had since i was like 11. reaching out to people first doesnt come#easily to me - in the beginning when i was a lot younger i didn't want to bother people with my presence & thought if i were to come to#someone first they would feel pressured into talking to me when they didn't want to. this is stupid of course. but has still not left me as#something i feel is very core to the way i act today. waiting for someone to come to me first feels like my only option because i do not#know how to reach out effectively (my evidence being i have failed every time i have tried) & i am convinced people dont like me in the#first place and do not want me to approach them.#i dont really even know who to reach out to in the first place. my world is extremely narrow. the number of people i know has shrunk#significantly and my standing in their eyes collectively has also shrunk significantly in the past few years. i feel like every person i#was once friends with wants nothing to do with me. i feel as if i have burned every bridge possible.#when it comes to the fact i complain all the time . which i know of course is annoying. its because i cant find any kind of joy in anything#i do or see or whatever. nothing makes me happy - i only see things to complain about. all stimulus seems grating and the world seems#specifically catered to make me miserable. all i can really do is complain. i treat this blog like a stream of consciousness and when most#of that consciousness is occupied with how much i hate being alive the blog will mostly be complaining. its a vicious cycle lol .#anyway . i guess the key theme is low self esteem begets low self esteem in many ways. mental illness begets mental illness.#i am not really saying this to anyone least of all to you anon. i just felt compelled to recount i guess for myself the reasons that came#to mind for why i am like this. i am talking to myself here
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marzipanandminutiae · 11 months ago
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re: your recent post about the Houthis and how you thought the free Palestine movement was all in agreement and specifically this paragraph -
"kind of makes me concerned that some people who say they're censuring Israel for the right reasons- ... -have something more sinister going on"
sadly, a whole fucking lot of them do not, in fact, care for Palestinians - or at the very least, not at much as they hate jews.
we have been talking and yelling and shouting about the amounts of rancid antisemitism overtaking the entire political spectrum, and it seems very few people listen to us. I'd like to add just a few posts that might make my point clear - took me about 3 minutes to find them
https://www.tumblr.com/spacelazarwolf/738972445267165184/people-call-you-a-zionist-because-you-dont-post
(people using (((Zionist))) to mean jew, and/or as a slur, and/or without knowing even the most basic definition, never mind the very different streams of thought regarding it)
https://www.tumblr.com/pauvrecamille/739139228538208256
("Hitler was a humanitarian" + Palestine flag -- which do you think the user actually believes? could they be trying to mask antisemitism as anti zionism?)
https://www.tumblr.com/rock-reblogs/739264338509053952/no-bc-you-are-so-right-for-this
(people taking a frat-boy-esqe stupid/dangerous act of digging a tunnel under a building and turning it into... that)
https://www.tumblr.com/mariacallous/738956988704292864
(a Palestinian man trying to pave the way for peace getting called a 'slimy collaborator' and a 'zionist' (derogatory), + not in this post, but there's also John Aziz, another Gazan advocating for a peaceful resolution, who got a shitton of death threats for saying hamas' mass rape is bad)
https://www.tumblr.com/noparlpf/738692836513431555/anti-zionism-is-not-antisemitism-and-im-gonna-say
(anti zionism and antisemitism are currently incredibly intertwined)
thank you for seeing that there's something wrong and pointing it out - a lot of people don't care enough to do that.
That is. All deeply horrifying. Pointing out misinformation is what I do, though, albeit usually about history.
And while I shouldn't have to say this in a post that's explicitly about antisemitism and the co-opting of concern for Palestine to promote it:
I do not support the Israeli government's current actions in Palestine. I think they are appalling. I think they're akin to responding to a murderer using a child as a shield by shooting the child point-blank, and that's unacceptable. This must stop. Palestinian people are being killed indiscriminately and the international community must stand up and say "no." The only thing with the word "Zion" in it that I understand well enough to have an opinion on it is Cotton Mather's "Ornaments of the Daughters of Zion" (1692, unrelated to the Levant or Judaism), but I know that killing innocents on this scale is wrong. I also think my own country, the US, should not be supplying Israel with weapons.
Clear? Hopefully so.
I'm not sure I'd agree with every view expressed by every person linked in this post, buyt that's no excuse for some of the treatment they're getting. Most of what I've seen in my orbit has been people expressing support for the Houthis- perhaps without realizing (gods, I hope so) that the Houthis are a violently antisemitic terrorist group with the slogan "a curse upon the Jews," and are currently attacking ships unrelated to Israel. I feel like some bigoted people are taking advantage of the compassion and outrage of others to lead them down really horrible ideological paths. There are some online activist types who are led more by Vibes than research, and that's a problem when a lot of misinformation seems to confirm what they're already feeling.
The Palestinian activist whose words you linked used a phrase that stands out to me: "resistance porn." That seems an apt term for people who want to assign Good Guys and Bad Guys in this conflict wholesale, rather than recognizing it as two pretty horrible leading groups- the Israeli government and Hamas -catching innocent civilians on both sides in the crossfire. This is not a YA dystopia novel. You cannot just hate every single person on or associated with one side here, or laud every single person on the other side as a bold freedom fighter.
It's just. Like. How the hell does this go so awry from the very noble, correct, and necessary goal of Stopping The Slaughter Of Innocent People? How do the monsters using people's compassion to advance hateful agendas sleep at night?
I don't know. I'm just reminded of the folks who care more about The RevolutionTM than making actual positive change right now, but with bonus antisemitism.
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medicinemane · 1 year ago
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Like I've said, I try not to talk about it too much because it is a heavy topic, and I don't want people overwhelmed and burnt out to the point it all feels hopeless and they tune out
But the reason I do sometimes share stories like that last one about Ukraine is... I just... I really want to make sure people understand what this war is about
If russia pulls out... they fail to expand their territory and they have to go back and lick their wounds... that's it
If Ukraine gives up... they die. Towns under russia occupation are bad. Real bad. I don't share most of it because of how horrendous it is. Then people not under occupation can still have a missile hit their house at any time for not reason
It's literally a matter of life and death vs colonial ambitions
So I try to keep from bringing it up too often cause I understand the fatigue we all feel from all the horrible news we get, but this is why I feel so strongly about this, and this is why I hope that you, whoever you are reading this, also at least generally support Ukraine even if you can't keep up with all the details
I just don't want any more kids dying in missile strikes
#I follow stuff which means that I hear news like this pretty much daily; though usually they're not that young#but civilians are killed almost every day#and that's ignoring; as in literally ignoring; that a lot of the Ukrainian army right now is made up of#just normal Ukrainians trying to throw out the invaders#and a lot of them die too; and that one doesn't even end up being a blip on the radar generally#even though many of them were civilians before the invasion and only have a uniform on to defend their homes#anyway... like I said; if you don't really keep up with it#but you have a general sense of supporting Ukraine and thinking they deserve military aid; we're on the same page#thank you very much#if not; I really do wonder why; as in I'd be happy to talk about why I feel how I feel#cause I feel like there's enough information that makes a compelling case for why they deserve help#anyway... sorry; just... I just see a kid getting killed by a missile and it gets to me#and I can't do a damn thing; but I at least have to say something#and I seriously do try and minimize how much I pass on to avoid fatigue#cause I know that like... in the past when there's been major news going on#I've had people tell me they appreciate that they can scroll my blog without being reminded of it#cause they know; they know; they hear about it every second of the day already#and like... seriously; I appreciate where that feeling's coming from#I want to foster just a place where people can mostly chill#but like... I only ever hear about Ukraine from Ukrainians#(or the one Romanian I follow; but we're gonna lump them into the same basket for a moment)#so... you'll have to forgive me if I assume most people here don't know what's going on in Ukraine like I do#this isn't a judgement thing; it's just the news in the west here doesn't talk about it much like the did in the beginning#I'm not accusing anyone of not caring; I'm just saying that you'll have to forgive me#cause I've got to assume you actually legitimately don't know the latest info#and you'll have to forgive me if I assume that you don't really tend to hear that info very often from many sources#basically; I'm not judging at all; but basically if I'm wrong and this is something you're being bombarded with#forgive me for thinking you aren't; because I don't see a hint of it#except from a sphere of Eastern Europeans on here or the people I follow specifically for this on youtube#basically; know me thinking you don't hear about this isn't something negative I'm saying about you
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catboybiologist · 6 months ago
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So.
Re: tumblr bans of transfemmes.
Let's ignore PhotoMatt for a moment. Manbaby tech CEO doubling down on a stupid decision and making himself look like more of an ass doing so is not a new phenomena.
Tumblr has consistently said, in both public statements and leaked internal communication, that they're essentially running a skeleton crew.
They keep saying that they don't have the resources to moderate, manually review posts, have any kind of appeal process, or anything. So, as people have widely received communications about, they seemed to have automated a significant portion of the moderation to operate solely on the quantity of reports (probably with a basic filter, eg quantity of reports regarding a certain post, within a certain timeframe) to automatically ban or shadowban accounts.
And so, they wipe their hands, both to the users, the public, and their own consciousness, and go about their automated operations.
All of this is likely true. Tumblr, at this point, is essentially abandonware internally, a kind of weird vanity project/dumpster ground for server infrastructure for Automattic. Likely, they don't want the bad press of "shutting down" fully. Or maybe the trickle of revenue they get here just barely exceeds operating costs, so why not keep it around?
Whatever is the case, the bans are a result of an automated process working in the background. I'm giving them some benefit of the doubt here, of course, we can't know anything for certain- but it seems like the individual bans are not based on any specific, manual action.
And that doesn't fucking excuse anything.
Because at some point, multiple people sat down at tumblr, and decided how to cut costs.
And they decided that the bare minimum of report abuse prevention was one of the first things on the chopping block.
Before the boops. Before GUI reconfigures.
They decided to cut something that is necessary to manage online communities.
They decided to cut something that ensures any targeted group will have any kind of community online.
And then, after all of that, the only manual intervention is doubling down on the shitty decisions that the automated systems make, and plucking reasons out of their ass for why they were the right decisions all along.
It's pure silicon valley brain. Blame the computer often and always. Use it to shield the active decisions you made when designing the computer that way. Treat it as a fact of life as opposed to something they actively made decisions for.
Is tumblr staff hitting the banhammer on each transfemme one by one? No.
Is tumblr staff deliberately crafting a system that allows TERFs and other conservative bigots to get rid of the "undesirables" for them? Yup. But they sure as hell are trying to not say the quiet part out loud. If they can always point the finger somewhere else, to the advertisers, to the automated systems, to the TERFs, then they can always have juuusssttt enough plausible deniability.
But being the "queerest place on the internet" requires concious acknowledgement that queer people will be targets of harassment, and you will have to protect against that.
Side note, this is why I do try to keep my blog at least somewhat SFW. Its one of the main reasons why I choose not to reblog all of the posts I'm tagged in- if the post is overtly NSFW, I've probably seen it, appreciated it, and consciously decided my level of interaction with it mostly based on how "tumblr friendly" it is. Is that bowing down to them? A little. It's also my choice. I value the community I have here. The pushes that y'all have given me gave me the strength to transition, and honestly gives me a lot of motivation to research HRT biology as much as I can, among many other things.
Yeah, I post pictures that are clearly meant to be found attractive in ways that are generally not socially acceptable , but never actual NSFW. I would like to think that I'm pretty safe from bans, but hey. Who knows. I don't want to lose my follower base, and the community around it.
And yeah, I'm gonna annoyingly remind you of the other places to find me, make sure to check my pin. If you don't know where to go, just find me on reddit and go from there, I'll post about it if anything happens.
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cherrynflowergarden · 29 days ago
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hii ml!!
can you write how dealer!matt and doll!reader met 😣🙏 ur headcanons are so cute btw<33
love at first high? || dealer!matt x doll!reader
sturniolo masterlist add yourself to the taglist
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matt’s world was spinning. he couldn’t remember where he’d been, or who had gotten him into this mess—though it was probably his own fault. the bitter aftertaste of whatever he’d taken clung to his senses, blurring his edges and leaving him lying in some alley, slumped against a wall. he was fading in and out, barely conscious.
matt wasn't used to people caring, especially in his line of work. so when he looked up, half conscious, barely processing anything, and saw her, kneeling beside him, he knew it was going to change his life. after all it's not everyday, a pretty girl like her comes to help his barely conscious body.
she was gentle, too calm and softly brushing the hair off his forehead as she checked him over with genuine worry.
“hey,” a soft voice said, breaking through his haze. he blinked, vision blurry, until her pretty face came into his focus. she were crouching beside him, eyes wide with concern, a softness on her face that didn’t really belong in a place like this. “are you alright?”
matt squinted, trying to get his bearings, but it barely made any difference. he knew she shouldn’t be here—someone like her, with that gentle voice and pretty face and worried gaze, didn’t belong in his world. yet there she was, her hand brushing his arm like she cared, like he was something worth saving.
“you... an angel?” he slurred, his words barely coherent, a lazy grin breaking across his face despite himself.
she let out a small laugh, though it was tinged with worry. “not quite, darling” she murmured, brushing his stray hair away from his forehead with a careful touch. “wanna tell what got you into this position?"
the feeling of her hand, warm and soft against his skin, combined with her honey like voice jolted something in him awake. it was unusual, being cared for, especially when he was in such a state. most people he knew would’ve passed by without a second glance. but not her apparently. she held his hand, grounding him as his mind swam in and out.
"matt?"
there was something about the way she said his name that had his head spinning. she was grounding him as he struggled to keep his eyes open, which filled him with a warmth he hadn’t felt in years. in this daze, he barely recognized the weight settling over him.
"i think i’m in love with you," he muttered, mostly to himself, but she caught it. and instead of laughing at him, she simply offered a soft smile, giving him the warmth he never knew he needed.
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an; hii my loves!!! i'm on a train rn so enjoy this cutie piece i wrote please ignore the mistakes i love dealer!matt x doll!reader sm:(
taglist; @eirianna @thebasicbiatch @katamcauley @wxnyzie @lilmear-blog @vrlixlia @star-fuck-off @embonbon @idkversace @annawilk @r0nnsblog @weluvwbb @c1ydessturniolo @vintagebishx @maddie-belle @timmdmdm @happydiplomatshepherdspy-blog @crispycitrus @faith-f1 @escapentropy @florscons @carlossainzwho @luckylampzonkland @lewisroscoelove @mudryklover @rageshots @dontworryaboutit007 @chair-things @myangelbaby555 @sheesh1311 @f1lovely @silia1raf @blahbel668 @my-dinos-life-is-good @ssturniolo92 @lilly6110 @lou-larcher5 @arminluvrr @mxryxmfooty @gabri3la-sturns @bellsboops @f1-and-shiz @t1llysblog
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everyonewooeverywhere · 9 months ago
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MDNI 18+ BLOG -> ageless blogs and minors WILL BE BLOCKED
pairing ✭ fuckboy!mingi x party girl!reader (feat. best friends/roomates!woosan)
synopsis ✭ you like to party but that doesn’t mean you’re always down to fuck, so, when notorious fuck boy song mingi takes an interest in you, you’re certainly wary of him. but something about his insistence and willingness to go the extra mile is incredibly attractive. when they see you start to play into him, though, your best friends wooyoung and san do everything in their power to keep you away from him. so mingi has no choice but to fly under their radar.
content/genre ✭ smut MDNI 18+, fwb/situationship to ???, undefined relationship, secret relationship
word count ✭ 5.3k
warnings ✭ alcohol consumption (not during/before sex), protected sex, slight dirty talk, fingering, sex is pretty vanilla
✭✭✭✭
CHAPTER 1: SWEET TALKER
The scene was very familiar to you. A packed bar on a Friday night. A skimpy outfit that made you feel good. Loud music that shook through your body, lyrics drowned out by the heavy bass and mass of people. All of that on top of a drink in your hand paid for by a guy you knew full well you were not going home with. It was the recipe for a perfect night.
You certainly weren’t a stranger to a good party. And this one wasn’t any different from the others. The drink in your hand was free, paid for by the pretty stranger you were talking to. His name completely slipped your mind, but you didn’t really need to remember it because, moments after catching your eyes from across the bar, your friend slipped his arm over your shoulder.
When you looked up at him in mock surprise, he kissed your forehead. He turned to look at the guy you were talking to, one who was mildly surprised to find out you had a boyfriend.
Despite his surprise, though, he piped up anyway, “Can I help you? We were kinda talking here.”
Wooyoung shook his head and laughed, “I don’t really appreciate guys buying drinks for my girl and trying to hook up with her.”
“But–”
“We’ll be on our way actually,” Wooyoung cut off the nameless man, leading you away with his arm still around your shoulder. 
It wasn’t until the two of you made it to the tall table where your friend San was standing that he dropped his arm from your shoulder.
Immediately, though, Wooyoung glared at you, “Was the drink worth it?”
“Honestly, not really,” you laughed, “His taste kinda sucked.”
Wooyoung rolled his eyes. You playfully nudged his arm with your elbow, “You’re just mad you can’t anyone to pay for your alcohol that isn’t San.”
“I only pay because he never stops whining,” he glared at your friend. “And it’s not like I’m gonna drink tonight either,” he said, taking a sip of the Coke in his hand.
“You don’t have to be the designated driver every weekend, San,” you told him, “Wooyoung knows how to drive, too.”
Wooyoung scoffed, “You bitch. You know how to drive. Why don’t you ever offer?”
“Because you are a gentleman, and you would never make me drive you home after a long night.”
“That’s some bullshit logic.”
You shrugged, “It works on San.”
“You know I don’t mind,” San chimed in, trying to break up this completely unnecessary argument.
You knew, but pushing Wooyoung’s buttons was always fun, especially when he was tipsy. Turning away from the table, scanning the bar. It was relatively early, only around ten, but the bar was packed with mostly students from your university. They hung around the bar and danced on the floor. It was a typical Friday night for a lot of students at your university. Since the bar was only half a mile from campus, you’d be hard-pressed to find a body in here who didn’t attend your school or know someone who did. Despite that, most of these people you had never seen before in your life. 
Song Mingi was not one of those people. 
Personally, you had only ever interacted with him in passing. Mostly with his friends. When they bought you a drink hoping you’d come back to their place. The majority of them had failed (in fact, only one of them had ever succeeded). But you knew his name at least, and you were pretty confident he knew yours.
He had never really tried. Probably because you had a reputation for rejections. Most guys, fortunately for your wallet, saw this as a challenge, and you were never gonna turn down free stuff.
From where he stood across the bar you could tell he was staring at you. Even with his stupid sunglasses on. He was staring at you with complete disregard for the fact that there was already a girl on his arm. You saw his eyebrows raise above the glasses as if he was greeting you without tipping off the girl with him. You rolled your eyes a looked back over at San who was sliding around the table to your side. 
“He’s been watching you all night.”
“Really?” you titled your head, minorly intrigued. Maybe “minorly” was a lie because you could hardly ignore the butterflies in your stomach at knowing that fact.
“Y/n…”
You side-eyed him, “What?” 
You knew “what.” Of course, you did. That much was obvious from the girl on his arm who he was pretending to pay attention to. Mingi went through girls like they were busy work. Checking them off like boxes and moving on to the next. As far as you know, he hadn’t had a girlfriend in your four years of attending the university, and you weren’t delusional enough to believe that the attention he was giving you was anything special.
As much as you despised a fuckboy, though, you would be a fool to deny that Song Mingi was the epitome of your type. Tall, dark hair, great style. Dressed in all black and adorned with carefully chosen silver jewelry. Sometimes you wondered why all the hottest guys you knew were the ones who were almost certainly never going to settle down. San would be the one to tell you to reassess your type, but listening to San was something you didn’t do very often (even though he was always right).
“I know you, and you do not want to mess around with him.”
“Correction, I don’t want to date him. I would very much like to mess around with him.”
San looked at you disapprovingly, “You and I both know that you don’t go home with guys because you know you’ll catch feelings for a one-night-stand. Tell me how the fuck you’re going to mess around with him and keep it purely casual.”
He was right, as per usual. You weren’t really the type to be able to separate romantic feelings from your sex life. God, you had surely tried, but each attempt had ended in disastrous heartbreak. And you had no reason to believe that this would be any different.
“One drink couldn’t hurt.” You were desperately trying to reason with him. Well, you were more trying to reason with yourself, but San was there to be of assistance.
“Ask him why the fuck he’s wearing sunglasses inside at night,” Wooyoung chimed in from behind you.
“Stop encouraging her.”
“Ok, dad,” Wooyoung rolled his eyes and took a sip of the Coke San had left on the table.
“It’s fine, Sannie, I’m not gonna fuck him. I’ll just talk to him, and maybe dance with him. That’s it. I’ll still come back here, and we’ll all go home together. Ok?”
Despite San’s major disapproval, you made your way back up to the bar. If he wanted you that bad, he’d come to you. You certainly weren’t going to make the first move here. If he wanted to get closer than just checking you out.
Inevitably, your phone buzzed in your pocket. It was Wooyoung, and he was letting you know that Mingi was making his way toward the bar. 
In order to avoid another mediocre drink, you started ordering a drink for yourself. When the bartender asked for your card at the end of your order, you started digging around in your clutch. Mingi knew your game. He knew full well, as he approached you, that that clutch held absolutely nothing of monetary value. And he was right of course, you had brought it for the sole purpose of holding your phone and a tube of lip gloss. 
“Go ahead and make two of those,” Mingi reached over your shoulder and handed the bartender his card.
You looked up at him, eyes wide, faking your surprise, “Oh! Thank you.”
“Of course, anything for a pretty girl who goes to bars without a wallet” he smiled down at you. Leaning against the bartop.
Laughing, you shrugged, “I don’t need to why pretty boys are willing to pay for my drinks.”
“So you knew I would pay before you even got up here?”
“Please, I could practically feel you staring at me all night,” that was fully a lie, but he didn’t need to know that.
“Couldn’t help myself. You look great it black,” He gestured to the minidress you wore. It was one of your favorites, so it felt good that he seemed to like it, too.
You grabbed at the jacket he was wearing, running your thumb over the fabric, “So do you.”
The bartender slid your drinks to you, and Mingi picked both of them up. His fingers brushed your own as he handed it to you. 
The two of you chatted and flirted for the better part of an hour. The time honestly flew by. You looked over at your friends to see that some more people had gathered around their table. Great. That meant you had time. San chatting away with people meant he wasn’t ready to leave. And you wanted to dance with Mingi. So you for sure weren’t ready to leave. You looked out over the dance floor, it was still super lively. Just crowded enough for you to have fun. 
When you set your empty glass down on the bar, Mingi grabbed your hand. He nodded toward the dance floor you were looking at so longingly, “You wanna dance?”
You shrugged nonchalantly, “sure.”
✭✭✭✭
Dancing with Mingi was incredible. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was the fact that he looked so fucking good under the low lights of the bar, but holy shit. 
The rings on his hand dug into your waist where his hands were holding you against him. With your head leaned back against his chest, you could feel his breath on your neck. He groan slightly ever time you gripped his hair. It was such a subtle groan that you could only really feel it reverbrate of hiss body. 
When he turned you around in his arms, you where quick to place yours over his shoulders, pushing your chest into his. He smirked down at you with both of his hands resting on the lowest part of your back, any lower and he fully would have been groping you.
You danced with him for an indecerable amount of time. You were sweating from the amount of bodies in the room, and you can tell Mingi is too from the sheen on his forehead. 
Moving a hand from his shoulder you grabbed the sunglasses, his stupid fucking sunglasses, and lifted them up onto his head. Looking into his eyes for the first time, he winked at you. You laughed and rolled your eyes.
He pulled you closer to him, as if it were even possible. You tangled your hands in his hair as the two of you danced together. Communicating with nothing but body movements. Everything was hot, from the air in the room, to his hands on your back. You felt nothing but pure dopamine infused ecstasy. 
Most of the time, the men who bought you drinks spent their time with you bragging about themselves and telling you how good you looked in whatever outfit you had opted for that night.
It was rare that you actually had fun with them. That was usually reserved for your friends.
Maybe it was the fact that you had already decided on not going home with him, though that decision was sounding more and more unappealing as the night went on, or maybe it was because you were dancing with a man who just knew how to have fun. 
There were no thoughts in you head other than the utter giddiness you felt when his hands squeezed your waist or when his head dipped to your neck as he breathed something in your ear.
Nothing could take you out of this moment. Well maybe except your phone buzzing in your bag. You had felt it buzz around six times before you reached into your bag to see what it was. 
Of course, as you suspected it might be, it was Wooyoung. Telling you that he was tired and wanted to go home. You huffed and thought about ignoring it when you saw San approaching you.
Quickly, and without much thought at all, you reached into Mingi’s back pocket. He looked a bit taken aback by the action. When you pulled out his phone, he looked down at you, intrigued. 
“Open it,” you told him. He did what you asked, unlocking the device and handing it back to you. You were quick to type in your number with your name. Simple. No emojis. No petnames. He could change it up later if he really wanted. 
By the time San had grabbed your shoulder, you had already given him his phone back. And that was it. You let San pull you away. Left him with nothing but your phone number. Not a kiss. Not a promise to meet up. Not a “call me” with a wink. Nothing.
You left him with the hope that, if he really wanted you, he would chase you. At least just a little bit.
✭✭✭✭
Mingi had really pulled through. He had texted you that next night. It was nothing special. He told you that he had had a good time. That he thought you were beautiful, and he’d love to see you again. You texted a bit through the week, too. Casually flirting with each other. Well, it was more of him flirting, and you responding calmly. A completely false persona, because every time he mentioned anything suggestive you were a total wreck. Kicking your feet, giggling with red ears.
Even when he texted you at work.
✭✭✭✭
Working the closing shift was always such a bore. Working until the late hours of the night, cleaning up messes that you had no part in making. It was the perfect storm for a less-than-perfect evening. 
Having a friend to join you in that suffering, though, made it just a little more bearable. You had to beg your manager to keep scheduling you with San in the evenings, but it certainly paid off. The restaurant was small, so it was just the two of you at night. Left to your own devices to clean up and close down. 
Being alone with him, though, unfortunately, gave him time to lecture you.
You’d just finished mopping the floors in the back kitchen when you felt your phone buzz in your pocket. You smiled a little when you saw who it was.
“Oh god,” you heard San grumble from where he was next to you, also mopping the floors.
You looked up at him, “what?”
“You know what,” he rolled his eyes, “are you actually talking to that douchebag?”
You shrugged, “it’s nothing serious. It’s all just fun.”
“Yeah, it’s all just fun until you actually start catching feelings for him, and then he dumps you like he has so many other girls.”
His words stung quite a bit, but mostly because you knew there was more than a small layer of truth to them. You knew this was far from the first time that Mingi had given a girl this much attention, but you’d be fully lying to yourself if you said that you didn’t like it. His sweet words and constant pet names were something you looked forward to every day.
Which is why you looked back down at your phone despite San’s obvious disapproval.
| mingi: you work at arriba’s right?
| you: uhh…yeah? who told that? and why?
| mingi: no one told me. ive just seen you there a lot 
| mingi: and you said you were working tonight so i wanted to know if i could pick you up after your shift
| mingi: my roommate’s gone tonight. thought maybe we could watch a movie or whatever. we’ll have the place to ourselves
Holy shit. He was inviting you over. You’d only been talking to him for a week, but you were starting to wonder if texting back and forth was going to be the extent of this…thing…the two of you had going on.
| you: riiiight… watch a movie…
| mingi: we can do whatever you want baby
| mingi: i don’t give a shit about the movie. i just wanna see your pretty face
You glanced over at San, who was still vigorously mopping the floors in the kitchen. There’s no way you could have Mingi pick you up without him noticing. He was your ride home anyway. You didn’t want to lie to him either though. Which meant you’d have to face the humiliation of telling him you were going over to “watch movies” with the guy he was desperately trying to get you to avoid.
But you’d be lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to see Mingi. And you’d be lying even more if you said you just wanted to watch a movie with him. You were trying so hard, though, to make him keep playing this game. To see how far he was willing to go. How much he was willing to chase you. 
You couldn’t help it, though, that every time he texted you thought back to him dancing with you at the bar. His hands on your waist and your back. His lips brushed up against your ear. The strands of his dark hair between your fingers.
Noticing your silence, Mingi messaged you again:
| mingi: please baby? i really want to see you
| mingi: i’ll even pick up some takeout on my way to get you
| mingi: and i’ll drive you home tomorrow i promise
Tommorow? Well fuck. You really weren’t sure at first if he wanted you to spend the night, but that much was clear now. Sure, you probably wouldn’t get done at Arriba’s until midnight, but you thought maybe he’d just drive you home super late. But spending the night? Well, that just added a whole new level of intrigue.
| you: fine, i get off at 12. don’t be late
| mingi: wouldnt dream of it 
San was still mildly upset at you as the night went on. Well, upset wasn’t really the word, he was more worried you were gonna get your heart broken which you assured him wouldn’t happen because there were no feelings really involved here. Hell, you hadn’t even met up outside the bar yet.
But San’s poor attitude made it significantly harder to bring up this evening’s plan.
“Hey, um,” you started, not looking at him as you wiped down the table in front of you, “I, uh, don’t need a ride home tonight.” 
You glanced up to see that he’d stopped wiping down his table. 
“Ok,” he responded, resuming his cleaning.
You cringed, that response was almost worse than a lecture, and you told him that. 
He shrugged in response, “You’re an adult. I’m not going to tell you what to do. I can strongly advise you against certain things, but I’m not going to stop you,” he met your eyes, “If he makes you feel uncomfortable in any way, though, please call me, ok?”
You nodded.
“I won’t lecture you at all. I’ll just come get you.”
"Thank you, Sannie,"
✭✭✭✭
After counting down the cash and setting the alarm, you were both ready to go for the evening. You checked your phone for the time. 12:14. Below it, of course, was a message from Mingi:
| mingi: im here
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| mingi: and ive got food
You bid your friend farewell with a hug. When you stepped out into the parking lot, you saw Mingi leaning up against the hood of his car, food in hand. San’s eyes burned into the back of your head as you made your way over to him. Actually, you had more reason to believe he was staring at Mingi rather than at you.
He pushed himself off his car when he saw you coming. He held the food out to you, grinning. 
“What’d you get?” you asked, taking the bag from him.
He shrugged, “Just some chicken. I wasn’t sure what you liked. There’s fries in there too, and I’ve got a Coke in the car if you want it.”
“Thank you.” “Not a problem, baby,” he glanced over your shoulder, “Although…is your friend gonna be alright? He won’t stop staring.”
The butterflies you got seeing him call you “baby” over text were nothing compared to the pure giddiness that came from hearing it out loud. 
Of course, though, you had to remind yourself that you were far from the only girl whom he’d called “baby” with that voice you’d come to obsess over. This wasn’t about the use of a pet name, it was about how his voice really got you going. But just maybe you did enjoy him calling you “baby.”
“Don’t worry about him. He just doesn’t like you very much.”
“Oh, how refreshing,” Mingi rolled his eyes, but his smirk didn’t go unnoticed by you.
✭✭✭✭
After pulling his car into the parking lot and leading you up four flights of stairs (apparently, the elevator has been broken for months), you arrived at the door of Mingi’s apartment. He pulled the key from his pocket, unlocking the door and pushing it open. He turned around to usher you through the door.
“Here she is,” he mumbled.
You laughed a little, “You refer to your apartment as a ‘she.’”
He shrugged and laughed a little with you, not providing any explanation at all. 
You took a glance around the apartment, other than the bedrooms, you could see the whole thing from where you stood in the doorway. It was small, but it definitely was an adequate living situation for two college students on a budget. You walked through the kitchen, setting the leftover food on his counter since you had eaten most of it on the drive here. 
When Mingi disappeared into his bedroom, you froze just a bit. He’d seemed super casual over the phone. It was obvious that he definitely wanted to have sex with you but not at all like he’d try to force it out of you. You were kind of under the impression that the ball was in your court on that one. Maybe you had misread the situation.
Despite your confusion, you made a couple of steps toward his room only to see him emerge from the room moments later with some clothes in his.
“I figured you might want to change out of your work clothes,” he says, pushing the change of clothes into your arms. It was nothing special, a black tee and some gray basketball shorts. “If you want you can use the shower too. I cleaned it yesterday, too, so you don’t have to worry about anything.” He laughed, scratching the back of his head.
You were a little thrown off by his demeanor. Maybe the flirty Mingi you had previously been interacting with had an on-and-off switch, because, right now, he was just treating you like a friend who was crashing at his place for the evening. Not at all like the Mingi who you’d been talking to all week who was desperately trying to get into your pants.
“Thank you,” you smiled. “I actually wouldn’t mind taking a shower.”
✭✭✭✭
After you had finished your shower and, mostly, dried your hair, you and Mingi sat together on the couch. His arm rested behind your shoulders as he scrolled through different shows on the TV. 
Holy hell he smelt good. You couldn’t tell if it was just good hygiene or cologne or maybe even just fabric softener, but, nonetheless, you couldn’t help but breathe in and lean closer into his side. When he felt you lean closer, the arm around your shoulder pulled you in just a bit closer. You glanced up at his face which was still focused on the screen in front of you. Illuminated solely by the television screen and the faint light in the kitchen behind you. Your eyes traced his profile watching how his eyelashes fluttered and his tongue absentmindedly played with his lips. They looked soft. Really soft. 
Forcing yourself to stop looking at his lips, halting the dirty thoughts that began clouding your mind, you looked back up at his eyes which were focused on the screen ahead of you. Light from the TV reflected off the glassy surface of his eyes. He truly was beautiful. 
In all honesty, you felt yourself falling into dangerous territory here. Everything about this situation, him buying you dinner, letting you wear his clothes and use his shower, cuddling on his couch while his roommate was out of town. All of it screamed couple. Right? Why was he treating you like a girlfriend? You knew for a fact that wasn’t his angle here. Or at least you thought. God this was so frustrating. Why couldn’t you just relax and enjoy yourself in the arms of a beautiful man? This is why you never went home with guys. You would spend the entirety of your night micromanaging your thoughts and overanalyzing the situation. 
Subconsciously, in the midst of your chronic overthinking, you had pulled away from Mingi just a little, but it was enough for him to notice and look down at you.
“You good?” he asked. Setting the remote down on the couch next to him.
You opened your mouth to speak but nothing came out. Maybe I should kiss him. You thought. That would make it clear what you wanted. Give him some indication. No that’s a terrible idea. And an impulsive one, too.
He found your speechlessness endearing. He laughed softly and tucked a piece of hair behind your ear, brushing your jaw with his fingers and swiping his thumb softly across your cheek.
Well, fuck. You lost all restraint over yourself in that moment. 
Holding his hand against your face with your own, you leaned into him and kissed him. He hummed into the kiss, smirking slightly as his moved with your own. His lips were just as soft as you imagined. Like velvet when they passed over yours. And fuck he tasted good, you could tell he had definitely freshened up while you were in the shower. 
You sighed even further into the kiss when his hand moved down to your neck. Throwing one leg over his lap, you straddled his waist. He kissed you even harder now. Playfully biting your bottom lip. Pulling at it before kissing your chin. Then your jaw. Down your neck. All the way to your collarbone.
His hands dug into your hips much like they had when you had danced together the weekend prior. Your hands gripped his t-shirt. Failing to contain your anticipation.
“Baby,” he whispered, the depth of his voice shot straight to your core, “how far do you wanna take this?”
You whined, grateful he was defining boundaries but overwhelmed with the fact you had to tell him how you wanted it, “Please, Mingi.” You breathed out a heavy breath, “I need you.”
He smirked, his demeanor changed ever so slightly. Noted. You thought. He liked it when you begged. “Come on, baby. Tell me what you want.”
Burring your face in his neck and gripping his shirt tight, you rolled your hips. Grinding your core into him, “Mingi,” you moaned softly, “You’ll make me feel good, right?”
“Of course,” and apparently that was enough for him because, in the next moment, he pulled the shirt you were wearing over your head. Leaving your bare chest exposed to him.
He shifted you slightly. Motioning for you to lay back on the couch. You did, and he was quick to start kissing at your chest. His lips brushed over you collar bone. He kissed down your sternum and reached your belly button before coming back up to kiss your breasts.
You gripped his hair as he pulled a nipple into his mouth. Biting at it as he massaged the other one with his hand. He wasn’t wearing his rings right now, but you could only imagine how it would feel. The cold metal against your skin.
With his mouth occupied, you felt a hand slip under the waistband of your shorts and past your panties. You gasped, loudly, when he slid his finger through your folds. He hummed contently when you arched your back into him as he slid the finger into you. Adding another soon after you. 
His thumb played with your clit. Slowly. You could tell he wasn’t trying to make you cum right now. He was doing his do-diligence and prepping you. You had no doubt that he could make you cum if he wanted to or else he wouldn’t be so popular with women. You had heard stories about nights with Mingi, and everyone was always overwhelmingly positive about his skills in bed.
Your eyes rolled back slightly when he slipped a third finger into you. Mouth open in a silent moan that came out as nothing more than a little whine, you threw back your head. 
Shortly after though, he pulled his fingers out of you. He pulled off your shorts and panties together before ridding himself of his own pants and underwear too. Fuck, he was big. He smirked when he saw you looking, “You can take it. Right baby?”
You nodded breathlessly, “Mhm.”
When he hovered back over you, you gripped at his shirt. Trying to pull it over his head. He helped you out. Reaching behind his back to pull the tee over his head. You would have spent more time admiring his build but he was back to kissing you in an instant. His kisses made you so dizzy. You probably could have just kissed him for hours if you weren’t so undeniably horny. 
You were so focused on his lips that you didn’t even notice when he’d slipped on a condom. You whined when he slid his length between your folds. He held down your hips when you started to roll them. Begging for something to touch your clit that was almost throbbing for attention. 
“Don’t be so greedy, baby. I’ll take care of you.” 
And that he did. The moment he slid into you, you lost all control of yourself. Your nails dug into his back as he thrust into you. Painfully slow at first.
“Please,” you begged, “faster…” You wrapped a leg around his waist, pulling him closer.
His thumb furiously rubbed at your clit as he thrust into you. Faster and deeper with every movement of his hips. You gripped at anything you could, his shoulders, his hair, his back. 
You were so undeniably lost in your own pleasure. Your mind was foggy. All you could think about was this beautiful man, furiously fucking you, grunting in your ear, and breathing on your neck. 
Even though you thought it was impossible, his thumb moved fasted on your clit. When he hit just the right angle you cried out, and he could feel you tighten around him. 
“Oh?” he asked between pants, “Right there?”
“Fuck! Yes, right there!” your head lolled to the side as you felt your orgasm approaching. Your legs shook as they wrapped around his waist, holding him close. With one final movement of his thumb, you came around him. Your walls fluttered as you reached that incredible high. “Oh god!” You cried out. 
“Shit,” he grunted, “I’m close, baby. Hold on.” With a couple more thrusts into your sensitive pussy, he came into the condom. 
He fell forward on top of you. His arms or either side of your head held him up so he wasn’t crushing you. Your chests both heaved. 
“Wow,” you said, breathlessly.
He laughed and kissed you softly, “Was it good?”
You nodded, “Great.”
When you looked into his eyes, his beautiful eyes, you momentarily forgot that you were not supposed to get your feelings wrapped up in this. Sirens rang in your head as he kissed you again, but, if he was gonna fuck you this good, you could ignore them for just a little longer.
✭✭✭✭
note ✭ ayyeeee it's done!! i honestly don't know how considering i have midtrems this week 😅 anyways, this has been in the drafts for about two months, and i'm glad i finally decided to start it!
if you enjoyed, please let me know! i absolutely LOVE hearing feedback whether it be through my inbox, comments or reblogs.
not sure when the next chapter will be released, but if you want to join the taglist you can lmk here or sign up here :)
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revelboo · 2 months ago
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Found your blog by chance last night and I gotta say I love the way you write, especially for Starscream. You’ve found yourself another eager follower ❤️
Thanks! I mostly started this as a place to dump the silly, little scenes that pop into my head. I was honestly a bit surprised that people seemed to actually like my nonsense ramblings.
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Everything is Alright pt 7
Starscream x reader- fear
• As the silence sinks in, you realize it’s over and the other two are gone. The servos carefully pinning you to his chassis are trembling as badly as you are. An uncontrollable, teeth chattering shaking. Because this Starscream is a stranger. You’d thought you’d figured him out. That you knew him, but how can you? You don’t know him and you have no idea what to expect. And you’re scared.
• The red haze of rage slowly ebbs, leaving him only exhausted. He’d always prided himself on thinking things through. Having a plan. Seeing your tiny form helpless in Skywarp’s hand had shattered his careful indifference. It shouldn’t have. Skywarp was right, he shouldn’t care because you are just a human.
• How long has it been since he’s had anything that was truly his? Moving from battlefront to battlefront, the only permanent thing was how impermanent everything was. The harder he’d tried to hold onto anything, the faster it had slipped through his servos. But he still hadn’t been able to let Skywarp destroy the one good thing he has.
• Shifting you in his hold, he carefully uses the tip of a servo to tilt your chin up. Trying to tell if you’re hurt or not just reinforces how little he knows about humans. About you. All the things he’d never asked or cared about. One of your little hands lifts to touch his servo and he can see the fear in your eyes. Fear of him?
• It shouldn’t hurt, but it does. Guilt is right on its heels as he runs a servo over you wondering if any of your tiny bones are broken and if he’d be able to tell if they were. Yes, he’d stopped Skywarp this time, but he can’t watch you all the time. Can’t keep you safe all the time.
• But he can’t let you go, either, because then he’s alone again. And he can’t stand the thought of going back to that lonely isolation. Sinking to sit on his berth, his wings droop slightly as you offer him an uncertain smile as if to comfort him. “Scrap,” he growls, head falling back to stare at the ceiling because he knows he won’t do the right thing and let you go to protect you. He’s far too greedy for that.
• Holding your fragile body, he thinks of the tiny, little birds of this world. Delicate, impossibly beautiful things that seem like they shouldn’t exist as they fly. He’d tried to catch one once. Tried to cage that beauty in his servos and its little heart had gave out as it battered itself against his hands. He’d only wanted to better see it, not kill it. But the outcome was the same. Are you doomed to that same fate, to struggle to be freed until you can’t?
• “Do you despise me?” He doesn’t mean to ask and he can’t look at you while he waits on your answer, because even if you do, he won’t let you go.
• You’re silent staring up at his face turned away from you. Sometimes you do despise him, but others you pity him. Ache for that loneliness you hear layered in his words, badly buried in sneering condescension. “No,” you say finally, not really the truth or a lie. Both. Neither.
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homunculus-argument · 2 years ago
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I was born and raised American, but with everything that's happened over the past few years I've been considering moving to another country. but I don't know if this is just "the grass is greener". Not sure if this really fits with your blog, but as someone from Europe what's your attitude towards living in the US?
I've visited there a handful of times and most of my thoughts are "damn bitch, y'all really live like this?" People in Finland like to complain about the climate, the taxes, and how stingy the welfare systems are (if you currently rely on them) or how costly they are (if you're currently not relying on them), but honestly most of the time that's because people are used to having it so good, or don't really have a perspective of how bad everyone would be doing without the infrastructure that everything runs on.
Sure, nowhere is perfect, and there's always room for improvement, but honestly the people I've met in the US only really seem to think that their system is good because they've never been anywhere else and don't know any better.
Mostly it's stuff that you'd never think about if you hadn't been to both places, like being able to trust that tap water is drinkable or that you can safely walk/bike to wherever you need to go. The US really doesn't have the kind of ability to just hang out in public places, just walking to the town and sitting on benches. Having public parks and libraries isn't really the same if you can't just walk there, and you genuinely need a car to go anywhere.
I moan and lament a lot about how the winters here are hard to endure - at the darkest time of the year the sun rises at 9 and sets before 5 pm - but I wouldn't move from here just because of that, mainly because of how reliably everything is structured here. Sure, it's all run with funds from relatively high taxes, but that is a self-feeding loop on its own. The tax-paying workforce isn't a disposable resource that's wrung dry once and tossed out when it's broken, but even when you're just another cog in the machine, you're one that's maintained, not replaced if broken.
I had a lot of breakdowns when I was younger, largely due to depression and other mental issues I had due to the undiagnosed ADHD. When I started breaking down at work in my old factory job, they couldn't just fire me on the spot because of the workers' union fought tooth and nail to make sure that you can't throw people out for getting sick, and mental illness is treated no different from other health issues. I was allowed to take two years off work in order to study into a career I thought would fit me better. That didn't turn out well either, but I was still allowed to bounce back and forth between odd jobs, sick leave, and studying - all on government pensions during the spots when I wasn't working a wage - until I found the right diagnosis, the right medications, and the right job.
It's not a hyperbole to say that I owe my life to the ample and studry social welfare systems that Finland has in place. Sure, you're just another brick in the wall, a cog in the machine, but if you keep breaking down, it takes a long time until they completely give up on you if you can somehow make them believe that you're trying, because it's cheaper for the tax system to figure out how to make you fit into the machine than just toss you out. A human being is an expensive investment and if getting you to the right job, education, diagnosis, medication or even arranged housing is what it takes to get your ass back into the workforce, they'll at least try.
I'm perfectly happy to pay the taxes here to fund the system that helped me onto my feet when I was in no condition to function, and to support the people who never do recover, find their place, or be able to support themselves on their own. And I can live with the peace of mind that even if I fall apart again, that safety net is still there. It's brutal, pragmatic, and regards your health and welfare as a means to an end - to get you working and paying taxes again - but they still do prioritise your welfare. Cogs are cheaper to maintain than replace.
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thebluester2020 · 5 months ago
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[SDV] "Sins of the Guilty"
Summary: SDV Bachelors lusting over the nun that's recently come to visit Pelican Town Warning(s): Not proofread, Sacrilege of nuns, Sub!Sebastion [Reader is kinda a dom in his part], Sebastion doesn't have active sex with the reader, it's only imagined, I kinda favored Sebastion's part ngl, Dom!Shane [The usual lol], This is the filthiest thing I've ever written ngl, Elliot is the king of making readers squirt fight me on that, Elliot is a simp low-key, Bachelors loosely follow the plot of the verses, Unprotected sex [Wrap it before you tap it folks], Pure filth, Porn with plot. Word count: 8,285 wordsSide note(s): Inspired by the fact that- I like nuns and priests man. Going to religious schools all your childhood will do that 💀. Also, sorry for not including all the bachelors. I mostly wanted to focus on those who I think would struggle the most with being presented with a pretty nun in front of them cause it's more fun that way pfft.
MINORS AND AGELESS BLOGS DNI
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Shane - "Hopeless Sinner" 1 Peter 5:8 - Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour.
♡ - Never in his life had Shane been a religious man.
Too much had happened in his life for him to even consider the possibility of a god, and even if there was such a thing? There was no way that they'd look down favorably upon them, especially with all the sins that weighed down his soul.
And he had a lot.
He was a drunk, he could hardly keep his eyes open half of the time. It was common for him to stink, absolutely reek of alcohol and past missed showers and he far too commonly let his alcoholism get him into frequent situations that he would only come to regret the next day. And to add to that list of sins? He wasn't exactly a people person.
He was rude and curt, saw people as an annoyance and treated them like such. He wasn't open to hearing people be kind to him much less try to suggest ways to change himself. The only time he felt semblances of happiness was when he was with his niece and even then? Those times were fleeting and brief, all because of his aforementioned addictions to the bottle.
And...despite all of that, all those troubles...he wasn't intent on changing.
In his eyes? He was a lost cause, too far gone and there was no point in expending energy on something that was damaged. And he only doubled down on that ideology when rumors began to circulate that a nun was going to visit the town for a little while. He even made it a mission to avoid any places where you could've possibly been at!
The last thing Shane needed was some old woman lecturing on the goodness of Yoba and the sins that came with drinking. How that "he wasn't too far gone" and that he could be "saved", all if he just believed and dedicated himself enough.
At least...until he saw you in person one day outside Pierre's shop on his way to get some cans of beer.
. . .
"You must be Shane, I'm Sister Y/N. It's a pleasure to meet you!"
It was like the entire world paused for the briefest of moments.
Just enough for him to truly take in your features the moment he saw you, right in front of Pierre's shop no doubt.
Your smile alone could have chased away the darkest of storms and replace it with a sun that shined as much as your eyes did. They were as wide and big as a dog looking up at its owner, he thought. As if you were expecting some type of praise or reward for greeting him with so much enthusiasm. You were slender-figured but graced with long legs, your skin appeared smooth and your lips were pink and full. Yet as Shane looked back down, he was shocked that you weren't wearing a long black dress like he had thought nuns wore but...shorts-
"Shane? Are you alright?"
"Huh? Y-Yeah...I'm fine." He cleared his throat. "How in the hell do you know my name anyway?" He continued, surprised when you didn't flinch at his rude tone.
"The Church made sure to brief me on people's faces and names before I came to visit!" Of course they did…though, he didn’t know whether or not to complain at this fact or to allow himself to silently be happy in a way. After all, it wasn’t everyday that someone cute knew his name off the bat, much less greeted him with a smile that didn’t have badly hidden disdain or disgust behind it.
“Anyway…” You cleared your throat. “You should come to service this Sunday! It’ll be my first one in the valley and I’d love to have everyone there, I-if possible of course.”
He clicked his tongue.
At the very most? He’d think about it.
“Maybe,” Then, he walked past you.
. . .
After the two of you first met, Shane tried avoiding you the rest of the week until Sunday passed him by.
But though be was successfully avoiding you physically, mentally was a whole other issue as no matter what he did? No matter how much alcohol he drank, you’d always find a way to squeeze your way into his thoughts. When he cringed at his own smell at times, suddenly he’d would be hit with a wave of grace as he remembered the smell of your light perfume. It was even beginning to infect his dreams.
Dreams that…were far more pleasant as of late.
In his dreams, you’d sit with him and talk out in some meadow somewhere. Perhaps you’d go on and on about the book of Yoba all the while you steadily inched closer and closer to him before you’d place a hand on his arm. Your chest touching him as your sweet words grew more sensual, forgoing the talk of holiness to instead invite Shane to touch you through your clothes.
But before getting to the good part?
He’d always wake up, left with an aching hard-on and his alarm screaming at him to get ready for work.
That was the first and possibly the only time that Shane began to believe that there may have been such a thing as "The Devil". After all, why else would he suddenly have these thoughts of someone who just arrived in town a few days ago? Especially someone so out of his league?! Also, the two of you only met once and you probably didn't even remember his name!
But after the fourth time of waking up, his own brain once again blue-balling him?
He knew he had to see you in person.
Even if it was just to hear your voice again.
. . .
So, the next day, he went to the shrine of Yoba where he knew you'd be.
And the second he knocked on the door, you responded with a gentle "Come in" before he stepped inside. And...he couldn't help but feel like a black sheep amongst all the holy symbols and the gentle sound of a religious choir playing from a phone, suddenly, the paranoia of Yoba knowing about Shane's unholy imagination of you began to glare up. He felt as if he was going to burst into flames as punishment for daring to offend a sacred place with his presence!
Once he had turned a corner and saw you sitting on a pew, facing the statue of Yoba however...all of a sudden, he was calm and he remembered why he was there.
He simply wanted to confess his sins and have someone hear him out.
"Shane?" You said as you turned around, a smile immediately jumping onto your features. "I thought that was you! It's easy to recognize grumpy voices in this town."
He rolled his eyes.
"Can I help you with anything? What's going on?"
When he opened his mouth, he realize that he didn't have a single clue about how to admit that he wanted to confess his sins. Especially when those sins revolved around you (not that he'd ever dare to say that part out loud). "I uh...want to confess my sins."
Your smile grew. "Oh? Please, sit." You scooted over on your pew before tapping the space next to you.
Obediently, he sat down but a considerable distance away from you. His hands started to sweat and shake, how was he supposed to confess that you were the source of his sins?! How was he going to tell the pure nun of the valley that he was struggling not to masturbate to you defiling yourself on his unworthy cock? The imagination of your moans combined with the image of you begging him to fuck you against the shrine of Yoba plagued his mind. And what's worse?
He didn't feel an ounce of guilt for it really...he just wanted to be around you. Be it fuel for the mind or something more, he just didn't know.
"...Something tells me that you didn't come to confess." You spoke breaking the silence and snapping him from his thoughts.
His heart dropped to his stomach. Did he do something to give himself away?
"How do you-"
"I've been doing this for a while, you tend to pick up clues." You chuckled. "So tell me, what's really going on? I'm a good listener."
The moment you turned around and looked at him, his breath hitched in his throat as his dream from the night prior suddenly flashed in the forefront of his mind. Your pretty pink lips soaked and glistening from your spit whilst you panted heavily like a bitch in heat, practically for him to do something to you, anything to you. Already, he started to feel his cock twitch inside his boxers, causing Shane to quickly clear his throat and look in front of him.
He tried to think about anything else to keep himself from getting hard in front of you.
"...I've been having weird dreams." He finally admitted. "Dreams that aren't...good."
You hummed to yourself for a moment before you responded. "Like..."I may do something awful" type of bad or another type?"
"Lustful." He muttered.
Like the flip of a dime, it felt like the atmosphere in the room changed.
"You've been lusting after someone?"
He nodded his head.
"Who?"
"Does it matter?" He said snappily, eliciting a chuckle from you.
"Don't be so snappy, I like a bit of gossip as much as the next person..." You scooted closer. "Though, if you've been struggling with these thoughts then...the correct thing for me to say as a nun is to suggest you to stop. To be tempted by the flesh is a sin, your thoughts should never be focused on such things."
Finally, Shane forced himself to look at you, fully expecting you to look at him with some type of reprimanding disgust in your eyes but...he was shocked when he found nothing of the sort. You looked at him like a tiger would eye a piece of prey. "But...?" Shane said.
"But, I as an individual say that you should pursue this person. Who knows, she may like you."
Now that made him snort, there was no way that you would like a drunk like him. He was certain of that. "I'm the town drunk, why would she— you like me?" He decided to be upfront, to which you met his words with shock for a moment before you offered him a simple smile in return.
"Nuns have needs too, and who said this had to be a permanent thing? I'll only be in town for a few more weeks, all your sins will simply...wash away, stay between us, once I leave."
It felt like his dream was becoming truer by the second. Only...you were naughtier than what he originally assumed based on your appearance, but it added to the charm, and with each sugar-coated word that fell from your pretty lips, the further his mind slipped into depravity and what he wanted to do with you as he felt his cock chub up against his thigh. After all, when was the last time he'd gotten his rocks off? His right hand and his brain could only stave off the longing for a real tight cunt for so long!
And as he watched you start to lift your dress and slip your panties down your legs.
He immediately took the plunge.
. . .
"F-Fuck!" You cried out as your legs were spread, Shane on his knees as his lapped at your cunt like a man-starved.
And he might as well have been.
He felt as if he had been in a desert for months and had finally spotted an oasis, your slick upon his tongue was sweet and dripped from your pussy like a nonstop faucet, something that he wasn't going to dare let go to waste as he alternated between tongue-fucking your sex with his tongue and moving onto sucking your clit whilst his calloused fingers plunged in and out of your weeping hole.
And you couldn't get enough of it.
"Sooooo d-deeep...." You whined as your eyes started to roll into the back of your head.
Shane's resolve would've snapped if he hadn't been so focused on both eating yu out and prepping you to take his leaking cock, the sound of you, a nun sounding so fucked out and horny...practically crying out for his tongue and fingers made him rut into the air to try and alleviate the tight feeling within' his pants.
"S-Shane...I'm- I'm cumming-" Your high-pitched whine suddenly died on your lips when Shane stopped pistoning his fingers in and out of you as he stood and shredded his clothes.
"No you aren't lil' slut, you'll be doing that on my dick." He grumbled, his hands practically shaking from how eager he was to get inside of you before he finally freed his dick from its confines and lined himself up to your entrance, his hand coming up to press against the middle of your leg and push it till it nearly touched your chest.
Your mouth opened in a wide O at the size of him, causing the man to chuckle.
"Never had something this big in your pussy?"
You unconsciously shook your head but, your pussy nonetheless twitched in eagerness for the man's cock. Despite Shane's eagerness though, he made sure to be as gentle as he could be with you as he gently pressed his mushroom tip against your hole, the feeling sending a rush of electricity over your skin at the feeling of a cock touching your pussy.
It was strange and...it felt hot. Hotter than what you expected it to be.
Shane gripped his cock at the base before beginning to press his tip against your hole, steadily inserting it into your hole before thrusting forward a little as he steadily filled you. The man groaned at the feeling of your wet walls clenching onto him, almost as if you didn't want to let him go despite you possibly being the first man you've ever been with. "L-Loosen up..." He whispered, already feeling a knot begin to form and tighten in his stomach.
It seemed he hadn't been laid longer than what he originally thought. It took ever ounce of Shane's strength and will not to fuck you like a toy, to be as gentle as he could be until he was certain you were ready to be fucked into the pew like you were begging him to when he first started to eat you out.
Then again, you weren't going to last long either as you had just recently had your orgasm denied.
"Y-You're too big..." You whispered, trying to relax your cunt like instructed to but it hardly seemed to do anything at all. You moaned when you felt Shane's cock twitch at your words, a cocky smirk crawling onto his stubbled features as he leaned closer to you. "I'm big huh?"
You nodded your head breathlessly, a moan tearing from your throat when Shane finally bottomed out inside of you, his hips pressing against your ass whilst he tightened his grip on your leg to keep you from trying to escape the stretch his dick gave you.
"J-Just fuck me..." You hissed, shooting a glare to try and chase your denied orgasm. And the man gladly did as you wished, slowly pulling himself out of you before suddenly slamming back into you, almost knocking the air from your very lungs before he immediately went into a harsh and brutal pace. Shane almost had a mind to tease how you looked, your lips flushed and lips wet from your shared salvia from your earlier kissing session.
Your moans were loud and unbridled, to the point where even he was worrying about whether or not your slutty moans would attract unneeded attention to the shrine!
But as his balls slapped against your ass, the sensation in combination with your cute moans only served to make his balls tighten in anticipation of his impending orgasm. "Oh Yob, r-right there!" You yelped out when Shane suddenly positioned himself to fuck into you deeper, his cock slamming into the deepest part of you with each thrust. Shane then moved his hand down from its position on your leg to your hips, using the leverage to pull you onto his cock as he threw his head back to let out a drawn-out groan.
"Fuuuuccckkkk..." He moaned, his mouth hanging open before he lazily looked back down at you, smiling at your fucked out expression as he spotted drool beginning to dribble out from the corner of your lips.
At that moment, his thumb reached to wipe the drool from the corner of your lips before plucking the digit into his mouth with a smirk at your taste. "Can't believe how lucky I am...Yoba must be real," Shane snickered. "I get to fuck one of his cute lil' slutty nuns...especially one that doesn't know what to do with herself when presented with a real dick in her cunt." He continued as the need to fill you up grew with each thrust.
You nodded stupidly, Shane had an urge to kiss you but...your moans sounded too good for him to risk messing up his position and ruining your pleasure that was causing you to cry out so abashedly.
"C-Cummin-" Your climax hit you like a freight train as your body suddenly went rigid. Your cunt spasmed and clenched impossibly tighter around Shane's cock like a vice grip, nearly making him stutter in his movements as you came around his cock. "Y-Yoba-" He hissed, sucking in his bottom lip as he leaned forward a little at the sheer pleasure your spasming cunt brought him.
Shane only managed a few more thrusts before he spilled into you, his stomach clenching and his body stilling as if it were putting all its remaining energy into filling you up.
A breath he didn't even know he was holding released when he finished and looked back at you. Your gaze was unfocused as your cheeks were flushed red and spit trailed down the corners of your lips.
"Oi, you with me?" Shane said as he pinched your cheeks together with his hand, gently shaking you to try and snap you out of your daze.
You could only respond with a soft moan before you looked at him but not at him. He chuckled, he would accept it for now. He just needed to get you dressed, after all...he definitely wanted to discuss if his confessions with you could be a regular thing, at least...until you left of course.
Elliot - "Forbidden Desires" Proverbs 6:25 - Do not desire her beauty in your heart, and do not let her capture you with her eyelashes;
♡ - When Elliot and you first met. It was on the beach of all things.
Out on the wooden pier that overlooked the ocean. Frequently, the writer would visit here to collect his thoughts for his writing and try to find inspiration from the gentle waves that crashed lightly against the pier and beach alike. Yet it was when he turned his head to the side briefly, the world suddenly seemed to stop on its axis.
He thought you were gorgeous.
Baked in the backdrop light from the sun, he nearly thought you had a halo on your head. Glowing with your holiness that made all the features on your face that much softer, like the way your hooded eyes looked out across the water almost longingly as if you were beckoning for a wave to come and carry you somewhere else. How pieces of your hair escaped your veil and blew with the sea breeze along with your dress.
The longer he admired you quietly, the more he thought you were an ethereal spirit, completely unaware of how you were tempting him despite your outfit telling him that you were the sister that the town had been expecting for about a week now. It was your job to be a role model as to how not to sin.
Yet...he wanted to do the opposite- "Are you going to keep looking at me, or will you say hello?" Your voice snapped Elliot from his thoughts before he finally noticed you were looking at him with a curious but soft gaze, a smile gracing your features when you saw how his cheeks began to tint red.
"E-Excuse me." He said as he stood up and dusted himself off. "I was just in shock, I wasn't expecting the long-awaited nun to be at the beach."
As the two of you stood side by side, he noticed how you were shorter than himself. "Oh," You said. "Did I interrupt your alone time?" You smiled.
Elliot smiled and shook his head. "Oh no, I don't think you could ever do that." He responded, your mouth hanging open a little as a blush of your own started to coat your cheeks. It was then that Elliot quickly cleared his throat and tried to find a way to apologize. It seemed like he wasn't himself, his thoughts kept coming out before he could fully think about whether he could say them or not!
"Sorry, I'm not trying to make you uncomfortable."
You then turned your body fully to face him. "Oh, you're not doing that. I find your forwardness charming." You were dangerous for Elliot's heart, the way you looked up at him made his mouth dry while equally making him feel as if he were floating amongst the clouds. Up until you caught his attention again with a laugh. "What's your name?"
"Elliot," He answered immediately.
"Y/N." You responded. "It'll be hard for me to come to the beach with my duties and all...you should try visiting the shrine in the Pierre's shop. I'll be there most of the time."
"How long will you be staying in town?"
"Two weeks." He struggled not to immediately frown at that answer, all while he simultaneously struggled to not throw a curse at Yoba for making him feel this strongly about one of his devoted followers. Elliot could be frank with himself, he knew that you would be in his every waking thought from this point onward. All he'd think about is how to get closer to you, get to know you and so much more!
"I hope you'll enjoy your two weeks here then sister." He finally said.
"Oh, I'm certain I will." Then you turned to walk away, your faint perfume tickling Elliot's nose as he was left along with his thoughts, his thoughts settling on the newfound fact that you were his muse.
All of a sudden, his inspiration to write came to him like rushing waves during a typhoon. Stories of how a man fell into a forbidden relationship with a woman, or perhaps a shorter tale of how a man falls in love with a spirit, someone he longed for but knew he couldn't ultimately have. Yet, as all the thoughts flew through his mind. One thing was for certain, you left him with a burning ache in his pants.
. . .
Later that night, he admittedly felt slightly guilty for palming himself over his pants at the thought of you. The pretty nun with the soft voice and heavenly features, although Elliot tried not to think too hard about your words from earlier, to not misunderstand how you phrased your words or how you looked at him as a signal for something more...the image in his head was far too addicting to let go so easily.
The thought of you bouncing on his cock while he sucked at your breasts, planting kisses all over your body as you moaned for more...was it wrong of him to have those thoughts? Then again, surely you knew how you sounded when you spoke to him on the beach! You sounded like you were interested in him! That you may have wanted to pursue something more with—
"Ah...look at me," Elliot murmured to himself, running his fingers through his hair as he scoffed at how ridiculous his thoughts were.
You were a nun.
You were just being friendly!
What he was doing was wrong. To think about a holy sister was potentially one of the greatest sins (at least, to what he knew about the book of Yoba).
Perhaps he needed Yoba more than he realized.
. . .
And that’s what prompted him to visit Pierre’s shop three days later, specifically where he knew you’d be, the Shrine of Yoba.
Elliot’s plans were simple, to confess his sins, receive your judgement and advice, then leave. Of course though, he’s leave out the part where his thoughts revolved around you despite the fact the both of you hadn’t known each other for that long. But once he was standing right in front of the door that would lead into the shrine…he felt like his entire body had frozen in place.
Were you actually a nun or secretly a demon? He thought.
No person should ever have power over another like this. But the moment Elliot’s nerves loosened up a little, he quickly knocked a few times on the door before a gentle “Come in” could be heard from inside, causing him to walk in before he immediately saw you getting up from your kneeling position at the shrine.
You smoothened out your clothes and then looked at Elliot with the same angelic look you gave him the first time you met him. “Elliot?” You said. “You came.”
He nodded his head, keeping his head down just long enough in an attempt to ease his blushing. “I figured I was overdue for confessing my sins.”
“Don’t be silly,” You chuckled. “We all come and confess our sins when we’re ready, there’s no pressure.”
It was easy for you to say, he thought.
You weren’t the one who was losing sleep over imagining the naked form of the person you just met. And as Elliot walked to sit on one of the pews, the more he couldn’t help but think that this may have been a bad idea. Although your attire was similar to what you wore on the beach, he didn’t know if his eyes were tricking him or not but…your clothing appeared…tighter.
Around your chest to be more precise and it was driving him nuts.
He silently begged Yoba that you wouldn’t come close enough to where you’d be able to spot his steadily growing hard-on. And thankfully, you kept your distance via sitting on the pew just in front of him with your back turned.
“Now, you may confess when you’re ready to begin.” You murmured a quick prayer before clearing your throat as a sign you were attentive and listening.
Elliot sighed. "Sister, I've been...well- I've had unholy thoughts as of late. Thought that revolve around a woman that I'm infatuated with."
When you didn't say anything in response, he continued.
"She's the most beautiful woman I've ever been blessed to see. But it would be wrong for me to pursue a relationship with her."
That was when you spoke. "May I ask why?"
Elliot's throat bobbed up and down at the question. "She's a nun."
The silence that followed was so loud that it nearly rang in his ears. Yet, as you turned around to face him, his mouth immediately fell open to apologize until a certain glint flashed in your ears as you looked at him with a smile, a finger tugging at the collar of your uniform.
"And...what do you want to do with this nun?"
"I want to kiss her." At his confession, it was like a string had broken before you and Elliot's lips crashed together. In the writer's mind, it was as if your lips were meant to be with his own, the taste of your mint-flavored lipstick addicting to his tastebuds as he felt around in your mouth. Your breathing became heavier, pressing yourself as close to Elliot as you possibly could despite the pew that still separated the two of you. "What else do you want to do to me?" You panted when you both separated, your breaths labored and heavy as a single string of spit still connected you two.
Elliot silently eyed the rest of your body.
"May I show you, sister?"
. . .
Had you known the man you met a few days ago was capable of this. You would've fucked him right then and there out on that wooden pier.
The position Elliot currently had you in was making you see stars and galaxies behind your eyes, your legs spread out on his lips as he held you tight against his form, almost as if he were afraid you'd disappear right before his eyes whilst he fucked up into you like a man on a mission. Each thrust making his cock assault your sweet spot deep inside you, you felt as if your organs were molding and reshaping themselves just to better fit Elliot's cock.
"Y-Yoba's name..." He whispered hotly against your neck, pressing wet open-mouthed kisses against the side of your neck and all the way down to your exposed collarbones from him hastily pulling down the front of your dress. "Y-You're so tight-" Elliot grit his teeth together as he groaned against your skin.
However, each time he fucked up into you, the sound of your sexes meeting reverberated throughout the small area of the shrine as your slick poured down from your pussy to pool and coat the front of Elliot's thighs, you were starting to...feel something.
A certain coil beginning to tighten tighter and tighter by the second in your stomach.
Compared to the orgasms you've given yourself in the past, privately when you were in your room or in an area you were certain was vacant of other people. This one was more intense and threatened to wash over you with such a force that you worried you'd pass out from the intensity! But, it was hard to voice such a worry when you were being fucked to the point that you couldn't utter a single syllable, to where you nearly had a mind to forgo this life and simply be the plaything of Elliot for the rest of your days.
"E-Elliot...!" You keened as you wrapped your arms tighter around his neck, Elliot's thrusts somehow growing even more ruthless as he tucked his face into the valley between your breasts.
"Shit..." You managed to hear him breathe out.
Your mouth steadily started to form a large O shape as the coil inside your tummy tightened more and more until it finally burst.
Suddenly Elliot stilled his movements to raise your dress higher to witness the wetness that flowed from your pussy like a fountain spewing water, his mouth dropping in shock whilst the lust inside his eyes grew at the arousing sight of your orgasm spewing from your cunt and splattering onto his thighs.
He was only snapped from his trance when he heard your fucked-out moan and your hand tap his shoulder.
"Truly, you are the woman of my dreams," Elliot said with an equally fucked-out voice as if he were the one who just came. "Do that again." Your eyes snapped open as you tried to quickly voice your protest but not before your words were shooed from your lips when the writer fucked up into you again, resuming his previous pace before he gently leaned you back, his hand resting on the small of your back to keep you steady whilst his other went to lift your leg higher so that he had a better view of your cunt.
The squelching noises were like a symphony to his ears.
But all he could think about was you squirting again.
The pew you both sat and fucked on was already dirty...defiled.
It didn't matter to defile it some more.
"Please, squirt on my cock again," Elliot begged. "Will this help my dear? Don't hold back, please." Without a single word of warning, the hand that held your leg up dived down to rub quick circles on your clit with his index and middle finger.
"F-Fuck! Elliot...baby, w-wait- you're going to-" Your entire body shook and convulsed from overstimulation as you struggled to keep your head and thoughts straight, moans falling from your lips shamelessly as you could hear Elliot's raspy moans and throaty groans, the sexy noises only serving to make you clench around the writer's experienced fingers.
Elliot took your pussy getting tight as a sign you were close once again, causing him to speed up both his thrusts and his fingers as they rubbed side to side without abandon on your clit. You tried to cry out for him to slow down, to give you a short break but your moans fell on deaf ears as Elliot only silenced you via fucking you harder to the point your moans took the place of the words you wanted to say as he abused your cunt. "Ahhh...." You moaned in pleasure as you felt something begin to well up inside you again.
"E-Elliot- f-fuck...." You couldn't do anything else but whine and beg, his name slipping from your lips repeatedly as his fingers on your clit sped up whilst he rose you forward a little to plant kisses along your breasts.
"Don't be embarrassed my dear," He whispered against your skin. "Just cum, I got you...please." At the sounds of his begging, that earlier feeling of a coil beginning to tighten started to nearly grow unbearable inside you, your eyes barely staying open as you allowed your body to take all the pleasure your eager lover was bestowing onto you.
"Oh, Yoba...fuckfuckfuckfuckfuck-" Your body once again grew rigid as Elliot's eyes darted to where the two of you were connected, his eyes widening as your pussy clenched onto him tighter than before as a clear liquid squirted out from you and around his dick. Upon seeing that sight, he wasn't too far behind from his climax, managing a few more hard thrusts before his head dropped forward a little as he moaned.
The two of you sat in silence for a few minutes, trying to catch your breath until it was you who broke the silence as you steadily rose your head and slid your hands to rest on Elliot's shoulders with a soft moan and a dopey smile. "You know..." Your voice was hoarse as your hand moved to catch Elliot's chin under your hand before you tilted his head back to make you look at him.
You pressed a chaste kiss to his lips, a sweet lovesick moan leaving the writer's lips before a smile slowly came onto his lips. "We should do this again."
"How..." Elliot took a moment to further catch his breath. "How long will you be in town?"
"Couple of months, we can discuss about this being a regular thing as well as...you possibly taking me out on a date next?"
He couldn't think of anything better.
Sebastion - "Hungry Recluse" Genesis 2:18 - Then the Lord God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”
♡ - He had heard about a nun coming to the valley when his mother brought it up at dinner a few weekends ago. And back then? He didn't have a mind to care really.
He was a recluse.
He had nothing against religion but he preferred to stay away from crowds. If a nun was to come to the valley then he was more than certain you would bring a crowd, preaching about Yoba and the likes and he respectfully wanted no part of that.
So, imagine his shock one night when he was outside his home smoking. Only to spot a nun doing the same.
"A nun, smoking?" He nearly choked on his own cigarette. His words catching your attention before you cursed under your breath before you dropped your cigarette and quickly stomped on it with the heel of your shoe.
"Goddamn it..."
He scoffed. "And you curse too?"
You rolled your eyes. "If you're going to snitch to someone, do it now." As Sebastion stared, thinking about how much he wasn't going to snitch to anyone (after all, he believed it wasn't his place nor did he feel like anyone would believe him should he have wanted to do it). He couldn't help but think about how...well, how pretty you looked.
You sported a more roguish look to your uniform compared to what he was originally thinking you'd look like. Clean outfit with a bright smile, maybe a hand carrying a bible or the cross of Yoba perhaps. Instead? One side of your dress was bunched up, exposing quite a considerable amount of thigh as well as the black stocking you wore underneath, and the similarly colored boots that would've typically been hidden underneath.
Your make-up was gothic and you had a septum piercing along with a couple more piercings on the outer edge of your right ear.
And if he was seeing things right...was that black nail polish on your fingers- "Are you going to keep staring?" You said bitingly.
"Sorry," He apologized, quickly looking somewhere else. "I just didn't expect the nun to be-"
"A sinner?" You interrupted with a heavy sigh.
"Different." He finished his sentence.
You clicked your tongue. "Yeah well...that's what you get when you're an unwilling member of the church." You spilled.
Now he was really curious about you. This entire time, he had expected a goody two-shoes sister who would rave on and on about Yoba anytime that they could! Or maybe even some old hag as old as Evelyn was, nagging and constantly haggling people about converting and praying more to Yoba.
But instead? The town received neither.
Only you.
And he was absolutely enthralled by you.
So much so that he found himself unconsciously walking up to you before he cleared his throat. "Do...you want to talk about it?"
"I'm not looking for pity if that's what you're-"
"I'm not trying to pity you." He interrupted. "You just seem to be in need of a confessional as much as anyone else." He shrugged, his words sparking a chuckle that sounded like a melody in his ears.
. . .
And that was the beginning of you and Sebastion's relationship.
One where you two would meet under the guise of night every other day after you had finished your "performance" during the day of playing the innocent nun who wanted to spread the word of Yoba. Something that Sebastion quickly learned was nothing but complete bullshit. The two of you would rant about your lives and how much you two wished you could change things.
Whether it was from Sebastion's dreams of moving away from Pelican Town and into the city, to you ironically praying to Yoba that he'd give you an outing from the church.
The one day you'd be free.
"...Why are you stuck in the church?" Sebastion had asked one day, lighting your cigarette before his own.
You blew a puff of smoke before sighing. "Mommy and daddy had unresolved debts and issues." You said. "To pay 'em off, they got rid of me." You continued.
"Now I wear this damn get-up and play "Good follower of Yoba"." You mumbled a few curses under your breath afterward, ones that made Sebastion snicker under his breath as he considered your situation. Although obviously different, the similarities in your stories were eerily similar. The two of you longed for another life, felt as if you didn't belong in the current one you both lived, and, as much as you both could, you tried to actively change that.
But...where Sebastion could easily pack some things, get on his bike, and head for the city.
You didn't have that luxury.
"Why don't you move here?"
"Unresolved debts remember?"
"I know but...there's a lot of abandoned places here in the valley. We even have an abandoned farm not too far from here. You could live there."
"My cage would be no different then, just a new window to look out of."
A small smile crept onto your features when you spotted an apologetic frown appear on Sebastion's face. One that made you flush a little as his cheeks appeared puffier and cuter. You appreciated being able to talk to him, more than you'd ever be able to convey but...you weren't looking for sympathy or solutions to escaping that only involved you living a life on the run and in hiding.
In truth? Being asked by the higher-ups to visit this small town, meeting Sebastion?
It was as close to a blessing from Yoba as you'd ever get.
Back home, you were a glorified maid if not eye candy for old men. You'd clean for them, cook for them, bring them drinks...it was such a dull life. You hadn't even been able to go to college. You couldn't even do most math but you could damn well recite random passages from the book of Yoba.
You hadn't nor would ever be able to find love!
All talks of boys and falling in love were strictly forbidden, seen as nothing more than a gateway for potential sinning, something you'd eventually learn was nothing but complete hogwash as there were plenty of times you've seen your fellow sisters open their legs for priests when it pertained to the topic of being able to get away with some things. Here in the valley though? You didn't feel that pressure.
You liked it here.
You liked...well, you liked the people. They were nice.
"You should be happy here Sebastion." You said, breaking the silence.
"You have a good life here, it may not be the one you want it's the one that's the best path for you at the moment."
Sebastion rolled his eyes. "Easy for you to say, you don't live here."
"Maybe, but I'd need a million more fingers in order to count how many situations are worse than this." You sighed. "After all...you never know, one day you may find yourself liking it here. Life is funny like that." At those words, you placed a gentle hand ontop of Sebastion's for only a brief moment before you got up and walked away.
An act that only served to leave Sebastion's heart skipping beats and...strangely upset.
. . .
And he must've sat outside for an extra thirty minutes before he finally went inside.
Dinner tasted bland, and all of a sudden Demetrius' snide remarks and insults didn't even make him turn nor lift his head to briefly glare! All Sebastion could think about was you.
You, you, you, you, you.
He didn't know what sounded weirder or more pathetic.
Him chasing after you like he was in some chick-flick, exclaiming how he wanted to be with you despite only knowing you for going on close to a week now. Or if he said that you were the only person in this entire town who seemed to understand him! The only one who made him truly happy aside from the small yet rare-found joys in his life! He could introduce you to his friends, Sam and Abigail, he thought you'd get alone well with them.
Maybe you could teach Sam to play new songs? He remembered you mentioning how you knew how to play the guitar a little. Or maybe you could simply be another girl added to the group, someone for Abigail to hang out and talk with.
As Sebastion sat on his bed. His mind further diving into his racing thoughts that concerned you, so many situations revolving around the question of 'What if?' that he could barely keep track of them all! He wondered then about what if you'd be another addition to the farming community here. If you would actually take over that abandoned farm.
What would you grow, would you be good at it or would you only prefer animals like Marnie?
Or...maybe you'd be something else?
A writer like that one guy who lived at the beach with Willy.
Or maybe an inspiring somebody like himself or Sam?
Another member to the Adventurer's Guild perhaps?
He considered it all but the one scenario that made his heart strangely ache the most was...if you were with him.
You made him smile the most out of everyone here. Sebastion enjoyed your curt personality that blended well with your shockingly soft tendencies. You were pretty and when your lips weren't covered in dark lipstick, they shined a surprisingly glistening red. Your eyes were the most gorgeous underneath the moonlight ad your figure (if he couldn't guess from the first moment he met you) was something that made his jaw drop every single time.
Suddenly, there was a throb in his pants at the thought of what you'd look like underneath your clothes.
But no, even if you stated you didn't want to be a nun.
He'd give you the respect all the same. He wouldn't dare to do anything inappropriate with your face in mind. It wouldn't be right.
. . .
But oh...did he think it would feel so right.
It wasn't a bad thing to touch himself to the thought of you, was it? You weren't there and so long as you didn't know then technically sin would have ever been committed! At least, that's what he comforted himself with as he furiously jerked himself off underneath his covers, breathless moans leaving his lips as he imagined it was your hand stroking him off rather than his own.
And as he did so, he swore he was more turned on than he ever had been in his entire life.
He imagined you were wearing your dark lipstick as your hand went down to massage his balls, your lipstick leaving smudge trails up and down his cock as you flattened your tongue to trail along the prominent vein that ran on the underside of his cock. Yet as you did so, you kept a firm eye on him as you looked at him through your lashes.
"You must've been so pent up Sebby..." His cock twitched at the nickname. "Waiting for me to do this to you, you must've been thinking about this since the day we've met. Huh?" A whine left escaped him at your words, his vision beginning to blur from both pleasure and growing embarrassment as his cock began to leak more and more pre.
"Not going to answer~?" You purred. "That's okay, you seem to be way more talkative down here than with that mouth of yours."
"P-Please..." He whispered.
Your smirk grew as your hand quickened in its pace, your face leaning in closer to his to the point he could almost imagine your breath gently blowing on his face. "Please fuck me..." He moaned. "R-Ride my cock, j-just do something more with me."
"Such a good boy~"
As you sat up, you licked the tips of your fingers clean from his pre as straddled him to where your pussy hovered over his cock. He twitched at the feeling of your heat, his eyes glued on your dripping pussy before your finger tipped his head to look back up at you. "Keep your eyes on me." You ordered before swiftly pressing a kiss to his lips. A choked-up moan escaped Sebastion's lips when you suddenly sunk yourself onto him. Your hips immediately started a fast pace that made his eyes roll into the back of his head.
Until you suddenly slowed down. "W-Wha...?" He said dizzily, looking back at you. "Why-"
"Eyes on me Sebby~ or what? Is my pussy too good for you to listen to me?" You suddenly slammed your hips down, Sebastion's hand gripping the bedsheets with a loud moan before you resumed your original pace. "You should be following what I say more diligently than this Sebastion" You pouted. "A holy nun is giving you her untouched pussy, the least you could do is look at her~"
"Y-Yes!" He moaned. Tears flowed down the sides of Sebastion's face as he kept his eyes on you, the sounds of his balls slapping against your cunt echoing throughout the room as a familiar knot steadily started to appear in the pit of his stomach. His cock twitching inside your warm pussy as the feeling of your walls nearly drove him to insanity.
Your moans, your face contorting in pleasure as your hands roamed up and down his chest underneath his hoodie. Everything about you made him want to exclaim just how much he had developed a crush on you, something that he wanted to take farther rather than just simply have sex with you. Yet, as the heat in his belly turned white-hot, his moans sounded closer to wails as he begged to cum.
He had to remind himself that this wasn't real.
You weren't even here.
Something that was slapped into him the second he felt his cum pool over the top of the hole he made with his hand rather than feeling it fill you up.
"Y/N..." He moaned as if you'd magically appear before him.
Tomorrow, he would definitely confess his feelings. Religion be damned, he knew that he wanted something with you.
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amorchai · 2 months ago
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𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐑𝐎𝐍 𝐏𝐑𝐄𝐓𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐁𝐄 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐏𝐋𝐄.
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written for my old blog but never posted!
pairing(s): ron weasley x reader
words: 872
warnings/tags: fake dating, mutual pining.
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“since when was this a rule?” ron’s dejected tone pulls you from searching your bag for the mints he asked and follow his gaze to the small standing sign outside the small hogsmeade café. your fingers feel the curve of the small packet of spearmint sweets and place them in ron’s awaiting palm while you read the sign yourself.
‘second hot chocolate free for couples only.’
“i think it’s just a cute thing for the holidays,” you try, tugging on ron’s plaid jacket to try and pull him into the café, desperate for a warm drink to battle the cold air. “no fair, just because i don’t have a girlfriend doesn’t mean i shouldn’t get a free one. people in couples are supposed to be happy why do they get free stuff?”.
rolling your eyes at your friend and his dramatic tone, you talk when he shoves a few mints into his mouth, uncaring of the obnoxious chewing while doing so. “i don’t know i don’t work here, you know?”.
you try to tug him once more, but ron keeps to his spot, and he’s tall enough that you fail in moving him even an inch. you can see your own breath and your fingers feel numb from the frost, yet ron is mad he has to pay ten sickles for a warm drink.
“ron,” your tone serious, desperate to be in the warmth, so close but far you think about just leaving him here to wallow while you go inside to look for harry and hermione. “we can get it for free, y’know?” ron speaks after swallowing his sweets.
he’d been thinking, planning to himself so they can both save that few sickles worth and you turn to him reply, as gullible as a fish, “how could we get it for free? we aren’t a- oh.”
ron smirks at your expression, the tip of his nose and cheekbones pure red from the freezing weather evading his pale freckled face, and also from the proposition. “oh,” ron mocks lightly, watching as your expression gapes, moving from the sign and to him.
instead of waiting for your reply, ron places the mint packet back in your bag before his fingers trail down your arm and slither in between yours. and you won’t lie, the warmth of his palm is horribly inviting. how is he still so warm through this weather?
he guides you both in and you swear you must look like an idiot, facial expression nervous and darting around the café, since the place is mostly filled with fellow hogwarts students. “follow my lead, yeah?” ron glances back at you and all you can do is nod.
the small barista turns to face you, a glint in his eyes and cheery smile, a telling to you both it was probably his idea for the couple-based promotion. “how can i help you?” he asks, dish towel over his shoulder and another female barista making the drinks to the side, the smell of coffee so calming.
ron raises both your joined hands, clearly to show the man behind the counter, but playing it off by pointing to the menu, “two hot chocolates, right, babe?” ron turns to you. your wide eyes turn from your friend and to the man before nodding small, “y-yes, yes thank you.”
why is there butterflies in your stomach? and why do you not want ron to pull away?
“if you find a seat, we’ll bring them right out to you!” the man is smiling, nearly more than ron was. with his own smug grin, ron tries to play it off with a, “how much will that be?”. the man waves you off, “eight sickles. second one is free for couples.”
“that’s cool, right, love?” ron turns to you after handing over the money but you’re too busy trying to pretend you are melting at the pet names. ron leans down to kiss your freezing cold cheek and you can smell his minty breath, his free hand following to feel after, “let’s find harry and hermione, and get you warm, huh?”.
you nod frantically, pulling on ron’s hand and rushing yourself over to the side where you find harry and hermione’s waiting expressions. harry’s eyebrows are tugged, almost hidden beneath his glasses while hermione looks horridly concerned.
“uh- what was that all about?” asks harry once you both sit down, ron holding out your seat just to add that little extra boyfriend-ness despite being out of sight from the counter. “free hot chocolates,” you rush out, rambled and hermione raises a curious eyebrow to you as if she’s analysing your reactions.
“yeah?”
ron chuckles, hat pulled from his head and sprawled on the table while he allows his matted rough ginger hair to fall against his ears, “couples drink free hot chocolates.” you and harry look at each other when he shakes his head amused, watching as you try to act casual.
“thank god you weren’t with me,” harry tries to lighten the situation slightly but you aren’t listening, trying to ignore how much you miss ron’s palm in yours and his lips against your cheeks, not bringing up the fact ron paid full price for his hot chocolate anyway.
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amorchai © ─ all rights reserved. no reposting/translating/copying will be tolerated.
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hetalimagines · 9 months ago
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General headcanons for Alfred as a boyfriend (SFW)
Here's my first actual post on this blog, hehe... I can't find the ask but someone requested some Alfred headcanons, so here are my rambles about what I think he's like as a boyfriend!
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He’s honestly not the most traditionally romantic person. Your relationship is more like friends who make out sometimes. But he does have his own little ways of showing you he loves you!
He’ll put together playlists of songs that remind him of you. They’re mostly loose connections, like maybe a song mentions your eye color, or the lyrics remind him of a date you went on together, or it just sounds romantic and makes him wanna kiss you. He likes to sit with you while you listen (to every single song), and he interrupts the songs a bit to explain why he chose them.
“This one had me thinking what if we were dancing in a ballroom together, and out of nowhere, bam! Zombies bust in. The door crashes to the ground! Our dance turns into one of those cool fighting scenes with the—oh, this part reminded me of the time I woke up early and you were about to fall off the bed. You had a cute bedhead.”
(You have no idea what the lyrics are at this point.)
Dates with him are pretty casual, more like “hanging out” than anything fancy. Maybe you stay at home and watch movies/play games, or you go out for dinner at a local diner, or you go do awful karaoke together, or you go and prank a friend together.
He’s happy as long as he’s with you. Bonus if there’s food and/or drink.
He occasionally takes you out to a more traditional restaurant and dresses for the occasion. They’re usually expensive, too. The food isn’t his preference (too complicated for his palate), but if it makes you happy, he’s all for dealing with it for just one night.
His primary love languages are acts of service and quality time. He’s always doing what he can to help you out (and feel proud of himself in the process). Whether he helps you run errands, runs a bath for you ahead of time, or fluffs your pillow before you get in bed, it’s all because he wants to make your life easier!
He gets a little jealous if you ever spend time with your shared friends without him, or if you spend more time with others than him.
He’s so excited if you take interest in any of his hobbies. Movies? He’ll ask if you want to co-write a script with him. (He’s very relaxed about what exactly ends up in the script.) Archaeology? He has so many random facts to dump on you, and he’ll be super impressed by any knowledge you have on it. Conspiracy theories? Time to watch a bunch of documentaries! He enjoys them despite their flaws, but lets you know exactly when something is false and what actually happened.
He tries to take interest in your hobbies, too, even if he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about. It could be the most boring thing and he’d still listen and ask you questions about it. If it makes you happy, he wants to know all about it.
Pet names from him consist of things like babe, dude (💀), honey, occasionally sweetie, (jokingly… mostly) prince or princess. It’s all over the place. He’ll call you honey and dude back-to-back sometimes.
He loves debating if you’re comfortable with it! But be warned, he gets very heated about certain topics. His sense of justice is important to him. Otherwise, he’s usually not serious about these debates and doesn’t care who wins.
He tries to keep things light and doesn’t usually let people see his more serious side. He’ll open up to you more over time, however. It’s really him letting a wall down and allowing himself to get closer to you.
Every now and then, he has days where he’s a lot quieter and calmer than usual. He just wants to relax, stay on the couch with you and watch movies or simply chat. Maybe a movie chattering in the background as he tells you about his childhood. He doesn’t try so hard to keep up this energetic, heroic persona.
He’s right back to normal the next day like nothing happened.
Likes to annoy you for fun. Not in a mean-spirited way. He just thinks your responses are cute and has poor impulse control. Poking your cheeks or ruffling your hair or playing an obnoxious song loudly on the stereo while he dances. But he’ll back off if you’re genuinely upset with him. He means no harm.
He loves if you’re willing to play along with whatever he gets up to. Maybe he’s decided he’s going to try and vacuum the whole house while doing a handstand on the vacuum. You can hold onto his legs to help him stay balanced.
This man is very impulsive and has a tendency to get himself hurt. Random bruises all over his body or a cut along his forearm. He bounces back easily, and doesn’t want to fuss over it, but he lowkey likes if you baby him about it. He’ll always say how it’s not a big deal and he can take it, but his heart does this little flutter when you show concern, and even more if you force him to take better care of himself.
He burns himself in the kitchen and you force him to run it under cold water. He’s swooning inside.
He likes to gossip about others, especially over breakfast. He can’t help it; he’s just nosy, and he always has an idea of what’s going on and how he can help out. Huge bonus if you gossip with him!
He loves to feed you, but the majority of the food he brings for you is burgers or tubs of ice cream. He likes to experiment with the burgers’ toppings and seasonings, but they’re all burgers nonetheless.
Every now and then, he does plan some big romantic endeavor. It’s like a surprise. You never know when it’s coming… You wake up one morning and find out he’s booked a week long cruise, your bedroom is filled with balloons, and there’s enough breakfast food on the table to feed an army.
He does this thing sometimes (often) where he swoops in and has to save you. A puddle on the ground? No need to fear! He picks you up and swiftly carries you over it. The safest place for you is in his arms. He’ll even lay down and let you use him as a bridge if you want.
A suspicious penny on the sidewalk? LOOK OUT, IT MIGHT BE A BOMB! Let HIM step on it before you get blown up!
He steps on it. Nothing happens. Better safe than sorry!
If you’re the more independent type, that won’t stop him from trying. He just wants to keep you safe and have you appreciate his efforts. Being disinterested or resistant will just make him try harder.
Says cheesy stuff like “happy wife, happy life” unironically. He’s also the type to use terrible pickup lines to flirt with you. Totally unaware of how bad they are until you start laughing.
He also doesn’t care that they’re bad. He’s just having fun.
Loves to give you his clothes to wear. Seriously. You want one of his hoodies? Try six of them.
You complain when one stops smelling like him so he puts it on, works out, then gives it back to you like :D! Fixed the problem!
He takes so many pictures of you guys. Videos, too. His phone storage is eaten up by it. His favorite thing is to take selfies together. Usually with some silly filter. Or an even sillier caption.
“me and the babe out shopping” and it’s a picture of you, holding a piece of fruit with the dog ears filter
He’s not the most physically affectionate, but he always gives you morning kisses and especially kisses before leaving the house. He also loves carrying you around (mostly bridal style) in his arms for no reason other than he can. A hand on your back, another on your thighs, your head pressed against his chest. He loves it.
He loves knowing you find him physically attractive! He worries sometimes about being too overweight, so any reassurance that you like his body helps. If you think he’s hot, and you’re hot yourself, that must mean he definitely is.
Has a tendency to call you hot, but he’ll call you other things if it makes you uncomfortable.
Occasionally brags about you and how lucky he is. Not as often as you might think. Though he gets oddly competitive if anyone acts like their partner is better than you and starts spouting whatever he can so everyone knows you’re the absolute best. No competition.
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yuri-for-businesswomen · 4 months ago
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i have left
hey everyone this will probably be the last thing i post on this blog albeit im keeping it up for resources.
im eternally grateful for how this community has helped me through prostitution and everything, i have amazing mutuals and i have learned so much 💜
but it has become toxic. many of yall cant handle disagreement and default to being as condescending and obnoxious as possible. one of us calling out a post is not enough, we have to dog pile everyone with a slightly shitty opinion. some of yall have severely lost the plot if you ever had it in the first place. not everything is that serious, especially when it comes to online drama.
im sick of it. so many engage in the same bullshit we accuse online trans activists of. this is an echo chamber. so many just mindlessly parrot slogans and arguments. what im very sick of is seeing single tweets or posts by a nobody, usually anonymous, being spread as receipts and shit. you know how annoying it is when everything a self proclaimed terf somewhere on social media says is taken by trans activists at face value and representative of the community when theyre not even radical feminist, just transphobic? yeah. yet a lot of yall do the same by saving and sharing „receipts“ where some random person who claims theyre trans (or not even) says some fucked up or out of pocket shit. you will always find people like that online, from any politicial „camp“ or ideological alignment!
a lot of yall seem to think that debate is about winning and not like, having an exchange of arguments and let the audience come to their own conclusion
and i just dont hate trans people. in fact i feel kinship to any female or homosexual trans person, anyone except heterosexual males. many of yall dont even realise how male centered you are when you more or less equal the trans community to heterosexual men who have a fetish for humiliation and forced feminisation or whatever. who exist and are an issue and i do wish the trans community at large would distance themselves from those men, but its not all there is to it. yes i agree that we need to protect vulnerable young people, girls and especially lesbians and gay boys, from being pushed into transitioning, i think the age of consent should be put at 21 or something, but we have to acknowledge and consider that there are people who have already transitioned and will transition in the future and i just dont understand how you cant have any empathy for them. no matter what you think about transition, many trans people ARE vulnerable and marginalised. plus consider how many detransitioned women are in this community yet yall talk about trans people as mutilated and shit its gross. in the end we can only try to establish structures that keep people from self harming, but an adult of sound mind has the right to do so anyways, including plastic surgery and trans surgeries. and i want to keep my arms open to them; but a lot of rhetoric around it spread on here will only alienate them further.
right now im saving all my essays in notes so its out of my mind. i have missed the community a lot so maybe i will return at some point but i have also been feeling better since i stopped being on radblr. i miss the rare valuable input and thoughts by other women but overall i have felt unaligned with how things have been handled on here. it has been mostly negative instead of constructive and pragmatic. ive had the impression some of yall enjoy the „being in the in-group“ community aspect more than actually being here for feminist exchange. lack of nuance, lack of empathy, lack of reason. it pains me but i have more and more come to understand why people just block us without engaging on general suspicion because ive also come to be annoyed with some of yall engaging with posts - and im on „your side“.
anyways im doing okay, im going to drug counselling regularly now and am trying to establish a stable life for those of you who inquired, and i hope anyone reading this is self reflected enough to know whether this applies to her or not. bye
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dogtoling · 12 days ago
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General life- and blog update , since I assume at least a few people might have been wondering where I've been and what i've been up to recently. I obviously haven't been posting or drawing much this year in general. This will probably be an important post if you care about stuff on this blog, and I already rambled on Sheezy, but that site isn't very populated yet and it's also very good at hiding journals so let's just ramble again...
The summary of this post if you hate reading: I'm heavily considering just stepping away from Splatoon. That decision obviously would affect this blog (mostly, my OCs, which is kinda most of the blog at this point). I don't think the blog itself will go anywhere, and I'll probably use it for something in the future... alternatively i'll cherry pick stuff from here into an archive for people who like the worldbuilding.
Longer post under cut:
So what have I been up to this year? The answer is quite simple: NOTHING. Like, actually absolutely nothing. Aside from Art Fight, this has probably been one of my worst art output years of all time, which is really frustrating. That's between my horrendous mental health and depression chasms this year and a complete lack of both focus and inspiration (which can also get chalked down to the depression to a degree, yeah). So the very real reason to why there hasn't been much activity on this blog this year is because I just haven't Done Anything in general.
Now because I know there will be a few people who think "that's fine! you shouldn't judge yourself based on productivity!" you're right! I also agree. However the issue for me specifically is that most (if not all) the time I spend NOT drawing or creating, I spend sitting around wishing I could start drawing or creating, because that is like the 1 thing that keeps me sane on this freaking earth. Unfortunately coming up with OC scenarios in my head doesn't really result in output I can feel fulfilled by in any form as much as I wish it did, lol.
Now; The Issue. It doesn't take a genius to see that if you spend 9 months trying to finish like a dozen OC pages that you COULD do in a week or 2 if you wanted to, then there's probably more than just the problem of executive dysfunction (even though that's at least 60% of it for sure). Obviously my other major problem is that I live by imaginary rules and structures that make sense, but aren't actually useful at ALL in reality and are more than a hindrance if anything (the mental to do-list in my head that says i can't do X until I've done Y doesn't do very much if task Y takes 10 months and I also don't want to do it, and it also has no structured ending).
How does this tie into stepping away from Splatoon, you may ask. Well, the issue is that I have foreseeably fallen out of love with the series. Which isn't exactly news lol. Currently, I'm not even sure i will get the next game, if and when the time comes. Yes, the loss of interest is also expected, given that Splatoon 3 has ended and every fandom has this kind of downtime and lukewarm in-between-titles period. But the truth is that modern Splatoon (almost 10 years old!!!!) is tangibly different from the way the series was back when I fell in love with it. That was Splatoon 1, and while the series has improved in a lot of aspects and is thriving, it's grown in a direction that I just don't really like. Splatoon 3 had the most freaking horrendous, immersion breaking story mode they could've done, then they followed it up with a DLC story that was pretty cool but also compounded a lot of my fears about the series' future and played into every single thing i do not want Splatoon stories to be - fully character focused, random fucking villain, mundane event that's unrealistically world-threatening just because a kids video game needs a scary climax even though it's immersion breaking AGAIN, the whole thing taking place in cyberspace and thus offering basically no worldbuilding even though there is SO MUCH WORLD. I COULD GO ON.
The gist of it is that nowadays, rather than playing Splatoon and being inspired and excited at what comes next, I mostly find myself dreading what dumbass plot they will do next to throw a wrench in the otherwise good stuff. And when that's like THE main approach I have to what's supposed to be my favorite series, it is HARROWING. I can't even really blame the game for this; the story is NOT its selling point, the developers probably do their best to get the bits to us that they really want to tell, and at the end of the day the game is unfortunately a product. Worldbuilding for Splatoon is fun to a point. It's less fun when in order to actually write or create something coherent, instead of filling in the blanks, the blanks are 90% of the freaking thing. At that point you're just better off making something of your own instead of being anchored onto an IP that gives more problems than answers and occasionally shoots you with like a machine gun. Working in the realm of Splatoon is frustrating because more often than not, the questions I have ARE NOT MINE TO ANSWER, and the likelihood that the specific-ass questions I need answers to will ever be actually addressed is really low.
Tying this back to my OCs. Obviously I love my OCs more than I love myself which admittedly isn't that high of a bar but you get the point. The problem is that I spend a lot of time mulling over worldbuilding that, again, frankly isn't mine to do. Because if I want it to be Splatoon, then it should be mostly accurate to how Splatoon is! But the problem with that is that there's really not THAT MUCH worldbuilding in the series that you can work with, and most of the core game mechanics are just abstract enough that it's actually horrendous to try and come up with workarounds and ways for things to make sense that don't require just constructing a full knockoff version mirror dimension of the game and saying fuck everything that's in place here because Inkopolis Plaza literally has no roads in or out of there and I have no fucking idea how that's allowed when your only option is to jump the fence (or, nowadays, take the train which also isnt connected to a street as far as I remember). Between the face value issue and the lack of REALLY IMPORTANT worldbuilding, like - I will always come back to this - THE INK TANK'S FUNCTION 10 YEARS DOWN THE LINE - there's a goddamn ocean of plot holes and things that end up being obstacles to creativity rather than inspiration. I feel like I'm pretty solidly at the point (and have been for a while) where hanging onto Splatoon is really only contributing to creativity block and frustration with lack of freedom and the ability to actually do things.
So I guess those are my reasonings that I've put together just sitting here for the time being. The TL;DR is that I wish I could just do stuff without Splatoon's canon getting in the way, which is a really stupid problem to have if you're making Splatoon OCs. I feel this frustration extremely strongly every time I have to work with actual bigger aspects of the world; we still don't have an Inkopolis map, we don't know what the world around Inkopolis looks like, we don't know what the wilderness is like aside from Just Normal Forest and Desert and very few snippets as to what modern wildlife MIGHT be, I still don't know how the fuck the Inklings teleport to the goddamn arctic ocean to play a turf war at Shipshape Cargo co. These are all actually really important things if you're trying to establish a setting in any kind of storytelling that's outside of immediate city bounds (and even there, you need to know the layout of the city and its important areas). Also a fucking mutant bear and a baby salmon and a squid not wearing suitable gear went to space and fought on a rocket in space. These are some things that would give me peace of mind to not have to deal with in my own writing, probably.
So where do we go from here? Unsure. I haven't really made a decision on this front yet, though right now I'm leaning more towards actually going ahead with trying to do my own thing. That will result in obvious design and setting changes for my OCs whenever I get around to it. This blog probably won't go anywhere (again, unless I impulse delete it during a mood swing like i've almost done on like three separate occasions this year), but it will probably get less use, and I will probably end up making a new blog to post about whatever I end up doing once I get to a point where it feels like it makes sense. There's a chance that I will delete this blog and put all the interesting stuff on an archive blog for the people who are here just for the worldbuilding. My actual true passion for a long time now hasn't even been Splatoon anymore, it's just been cephalopods. I'm kind of done having Splatoon get in the way of the cephalopods, as thankful as I am that it introduced me to them...
If you read this to the end heres a treat for you = 🍪
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famemonsterrr · 1 year ago
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Astrology observations part 11;
(Don’t copy my work pliz and these aren’t facts but what I have seen and experienced in my life. If you can’t relate to any of these. It okay we are all different)
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-Pisces are really good gaslighters like they argue and they know they losing and then boom…you are the one who is crazy. (Girly pops how about stop it)
- speaking of Pisces…maybe I’m saying it from personal experience but I can’t keep an aesthetic and even when I have find a aesthetic Im changing again. It’s endless circle…I hope another Pisces can relate with me:)
- i have seen an Aquarius women being so quick minded and have unique takes but also I have seen Aquarius women being really shy and slow to talk. There is no between with them.
- y’all think that Taurus are the lazy and don’t like to work out but they are so active and most of them love sports or gym.
- the second best venus is cancer…soooo giving soooo sweet and lovinggggg 🥰
- Aries placements show PASSION in any planet/house they are placed . Like if you have Aries moon you will be really vocal about ur emotions. If you have mercury then you will be passionate about ur opinions ect.
- Taurus and libra are the type of people who are seductive and flirty so naturally but if doesn’t work out they will be so pissed.
- Pisces are insane when they getting obsessed with something they like. They will make sure everyone in their group will know what new show/book/character ect. they started liking.
- Aquarius placements are the type of people who love anything that has to do with universe,planets ect. (Some of them people I know they follow on Instagram space accounts or nasa)
- Capricorn mars are workaholic…they always do things right to get where they want. (A placement that I kinda wish i had) "money money money must be funny in the rich man’s world"
- It’s from my personal observation but we tend to connect mostly with singers that have the same moon sign as we do. Maybe I’m the only one but from day 1 I loved they way Ariana grande was expressing her emotions through music and then I released we both have libra moon. So next time check the moon sign of ur fave artist 🤌🏻 (it’s my showing that I’m a big Ariana girly)
- Scorpio Venus people are my favourite cause they like you a lot and they know it but you don’t know it. They will not let you go and if they do they will return back to you no matter what. They will know everything about you and ask a lot about you. They will care about your opinions (when they really don’t care about others). They will share the darkest secrets with you,they personal/family traumas. They are consumed by your existence. (if they have Sagittarius placements maybe they will pretend not care at the same time so you might think u are just friends)
- speaking of Venus…if you are a Scorpio pliz find a Pisces Venus for you. Like insane connection. Soulmate energy and both consumed by each other. (My personal fave duo)
- Gemini Venus need to be studied cause they rush into love and at the same time they can’t settle. (Girly pops maybe decide for once but men are the worst)
- cancer mercury is more dramatic than a Leo but they don’t show it that easily.
- they say don’t date someone who has the same moon sign as you…but I disagree. You will be the same page and react the same way. Understanding from both sides. ( my ex bestie has libra moon and we understood each other so well). Maybe date or hang out with people that have the same moon as you.
- Sagittarius mercury/Venus flirts for joke but they do it so well that you fall for them and then they have to run away from you.
That’s all💙
Here is my masterlist
Thank you for reading my blog so far. Really grateful about that 🫶🏻 and sorry if I do spelling mistakes but I’m not Native American speaker so I try my best. Stay hydrated and healthy 💙
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dancinglikebutterflywings · 9 months ago
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5:03PM | Lee Felix
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Pairing: Lee Felix x Fem!Reader
Request: From Anon
Sypnosis: Felix doesn't want his not so secret favourite person to stay while they continue to practice.
Warnings: None. Mentions of reader being a staff member.  Formally titled Happiest. This is a repost from my now deactivated blog.
Word Count: 518
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The cameras had finally stopped rolling for the day and Felix was sitting on the couch at the back of the dance practice room with his ‘not so secret’ favourite staff member, helping her eat the grapes she had stashed in her bag from lunch.   
Felix just so happened to be also Y/N’s ‘not so secret’ favourite member of Stray Kids, even though she got on well with all of them, bonding mostly with Han and Lee Know whose personalities matched hers well. They had been the two who wormed their ways into not just her work life but her personal life too. Felix soon after created himself a special place in her heart, followed by the others. She couldn’t imagine her days without them, especially Felix. The closeness of the two always has the people around them questioning if they were dating. But so far, their relationship has consisted of friendship and mutual pining, neither of them wanting to make the first move because of the possible consequences they would face.  
“Are you going to keep practicing?” She asks him, trying to make herself more comfortable on the couch while facing him.   
“I think Channie hyung wants to go over the choreography a few more times,” he tells her, taking her legs and places them over his lap. His small hands, that were somehow bigger than hers by less than a centimetre, starts kneading at her thighs.   
“I should probably head out then,” she says, even though she usually likes to hang around for a little while longer to watch them practice without having to be working and having cameras around. “I’ve got to run a few errands before heading home.”   
“Stay please,” Felix pouts giving her sad eyes to get her to stay. "I like having you here, watching us. It motivates me to keep going,” he suddenly blurts out when she looks at him, not convinced.  
At his words, her cheeks burn red, as she lifts her hands to her face. She always did it when someone made her blush, not wanting the other person to see how affected she was by their words or their actions.  
“You can’t just say stuff like that, Lix,” she pretends to scold him from behind her hands. Though she wants nothing more than for his words to be true because when she’s with him she feels the happiest she’s ever been.   
“But it’s true,” he said, the tone in his voice lower and more serious than a few minutes ago. He takes her hands in his and moves them away from her voice. “Please stay until we’re finished.”  
“Can you two please stop flirting, we have stuff to do,” Bang Chan’s voice comes from the centre of the room, interrupting the two. Everyone was starting to get into their positions.  
“Fine I’ll stay,” she gives in and moves her legs off his lap so he can join the others.  
Felix smiles brightly and happily kisses her cheek before he makes his way over to the others and gets into the position they were going to be starting from. 
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Likes, Comments & Reblogs are welcomed and appreciated. 
©️ 2024 CRAZYFORMFICS. NO ONE HAS PERMISSION TO COPY, TRANSLATE AND/OR REPOST MY WORKS ON HERE OR ANY OTHER SITE.
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A Problem With Mario Theories And Lore Hunting
So there is a problem many people have when it comes to speculation, lore hunting, and timeline crafting I've come to notice in the Mario community, and it's something I've recently been having to deal with. So something I've noticed is people who have talked about the Donkey Kongs have tried to apply real world Gorilla lifespans and maturity to the Kongs. After doing this they apply it to the lore and or the Mario timeline. They will do things like place all the Party and Kart games at the end of the timeline. Others claim Donkey Kong Junior is was retconned out of existence, or Donkey Kong the Third is actual DK Jr. and Cranky's son instead of grandson. The application of real world gorilla lifespans and maturity is mostly thanks to certain Mario "timeline"/theory. Why does this not work?
First off they are going against the established lore about the 3 DKs, and how Kongs age rapidly. On a side note I've actually made a few posts about the DKs and Kong aging so if you want to know more look for those. Back on track why does this not work? Well before we get to the main point I wanted to mention another previous post of mine to put things into perspective.
In this post I talked about a hypothesis I had come up with in the past, which was that Piranha Plants aren't actually plants but reptiles. From there I talked about why my hypothesis was wrong. I used information obtained from manuals, descriptions, and in game dialogue establishing they are indeed plants.
So what was my mistake? I tried to apply real world logic to this fictional world. Now while some real world logic is a basis for this world such as needing to eat food and breath air to stay alive. This world also runs by it's own rules. So if in the world plants can have skeletons, tongues, have scales, and can hatch from eggs then they can.
The Mario world is basically a high fantasy world, and trying to force real world logic into it does work when it has it's own set of rules the world runs by. Keep in mind this is a world with man eating plants, alongside sentient talking trees and sunflowers, hexapod dragons, still living non-avian dinosaurs, reanimated skeletons, turtles that can remove their shells, straight up magic, clouds you can physically ride on, the ability to enter dreams, zippers on terrain you can unzip, etc. etc. etc. So in the end it doesn't make sense at all to try to force real world gorilla aging to fictional sapient gorillas who have their own language in a high fantasy setting.
Keep in mind this post is only addressing a problem. This by no means lore hunting and speculation is wrong. That should be self evident by the existence of this blog.
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