#Great Ask Alex!!!

[divorcedfiddleford]

You made a post saying “it has been zero days since our last alex hirsch hates ford so much bullshit” and i know it was mostly hyperbole, but you have some really good takes that I would love to be elaborated on in terms of how ford is written

it really wasn't hyperbolic. over the years he's just really shown a lot of hatred towards this one character.

content warning: discussion of abuse

i want to start with this clip from the commentary which i think of as a microcosm for how the writers and especially alex think about ford.

transcript:

rob renzetti: i mean he [mcgucket] should've basically knocked ford out, and... and destroyed the... you know, tied him up, and, destroyed... and... alex hirsch, speaking over him: yeah he should've beat ford with a wrench and taken this thing apart piece by piece! he's the one who understood how to built [sic] it, but...

... so that seems like a pretty violent course of action. shall we unpack that?

ford is a character who's pretty explicitly written as a victim of abuse, and who now has c-ptsd as a direct result of the abuse he experienced. alex hirsch believes that ford deserved everything bad that happened to him, that it's ford's own fault, and that he also deserved worse things to happen to him. this is why, given every narrative chance, alex hirsch has piled more suffering onto ford's plate. the biggest example of this i can think of is in the journal, when he wrote that fiddleford was actively erasing ford's memory (despite this being a massive timeline contradiction which i still refuse to accept). because god forbid ford even have one remotely healthy relationship with somebody. that would be too good for him. ford was manipulated and lied to by bill, but alex repeatedly compares him to icarus, a teenager whose demise was the result of his own ignorance. this comparison is still so fucking offensive to me. the sun did not lie to icarus, did not guarantee icarus all of the happiness and success and sense of belonging which he had been denied all his life, did not actively shut out the voices of those around him who would try to help him.

alex in general has a very strange relationship with abuse. he seems to get really upset when people read his characters as victims of abuse. the strongest instance of this is actually not with ford, it's with pacifica - especially in the nwmm episode commentary. the episode says "pacifica's parents have conditioned her to respond to a bell" and alex says people got "the wrong idea" about it. like. dude. what the fuck. you wrote abuse. even if you didn't mean to, that's what you wrote. you can't say people got "the wrong idea" just because you didn't think about the subtext of what you were writing. anyway, back to ford: i believe this extends to him as well. alex wanted to write a character who's a foil to stan and who was a selfish unlikable victim of his own arrogance. however that's not what he wrote. he somehow seemingly accidentally wrote a really compelling and relatable awesome autistic guy who had to fight for every good thing he he ever had in his life only for it to be taken from him every single time. but alex can't let go of seeing ford as just "the opposite of stan". when he talks about "how someone as smart as ford could fall for bill's tricks", he refuses to realize he wrote a situation in which a man was being psychologically manipulated and tortured.

it goes back further, too. people repeatedly theorized that filbrick was... not a very good father, to say the least. on top of the very explicit and canon fact that he threw one of his children out on the street (seriously, there is no defense for this), people pointed out that stan would flinch at filbrick, that ford seemed upset by things filbrick said but dared not talk back, that filbrick was mad at stan not for hurting his brother, but for "costing the family potential millions". but alex can't have people seeing ford as sympathetic. ford can't have it bad like stan did. ford had to have everything and he lost it all because he sucks so much. so he wrote the graphic novel story where ford is filbrick's favorite child and filbrick also is not even a bad parent you guys he's just stoic. ignore the whole thing in dreamscaperers where stan perpetuates the abuse that filbrick did to him. ignore the fact that ford was shouting at stan and then completely shut up as soon as filbrick entered the room and did not say another word for the rest of the night. ignore all that because i just made up this story where he cries at a present from stan. filbrick loved his boys for sure you guys!!!

i'm not even touching on how alex repeatedly villainizes traits commonly associated with mental illness and neurodivergence. ford's hypervigilance becomes arrogance. his passion for knowledge means he's a know-it-all. his difficulty socializing and making friends means he's a misanthrope. his lingering resentment for the way he was raised means he hates his brother and is the worst human being to ever have lived. i could go on, go even further into how the finale reaffirms this, but i feel weird talking about this too much.

[dollya-robinprotector]

YOU DRAW CHUBBY GIRLS AND A FELLOW ROBIN LOVER? I LOVE U AND I KISS U (platonically)

Oh, you could say I care about him for a very normal amount...

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

Could I possibly request a headcannon for the RDV Bachelors/Bachelorettes finding out the farmer that they’ve been dating for a while is a werewolf that’s been hiding it since they came to the valley?

To be honest, dear anon, I spent about 10 minutes trying to figure out what RDV was. Did you mean SDV (vanilla bachelors/ettes) or RSV (Ridgeside Village, the sdv mod)? So I decided to make vanilla candidates, hope I'm not wrong (if I am, feel free to ask again!). Thank you, and have a lovely day 💕

_________________________________________

SDV bachelors/ettes discover that their s/o!Farmer is a werewolf

SDV bachelors:

Shane:

Shane was in complete shock at what he saw, but his defence mechanism kicked in and outwardly he remained calm.

"Heh, so that's why you smelled like wet dog all the time." Now it was Farmer's turn to be surprised.

Not only is his lover not surprised (as they seem to be) at all, but he's also calling them names!

"???? And you always smelled like beer!" "Touché..."

Well, unravelling the truth went a lot easier than Farmer had anticipated.

The chicken man naturally had a ton of questions and a pattern-breaking experience from realising the existence of werewolves, but he endured it relatively calmly.

"Horror? Have you ever walked into a Joja Mart warehouse with their 'super' products? That's the real horror."

Sam:

Farmer: *Literally transforms into werewolf form in front of their boyfriend Sam*

Sam's mind: "A giant doggo, heck yeah!"

Is there anyone sane in this town who would react to the Farmer with horror?

Don't get me wrong, Sam was actually surprised and jumped up on the spot from Farmer.

But apparently the human desire to pet absolutely everything was stronger than the instinct for self-preservation. Sam was no different.

Especially since his partner wasn't crazy in wolf form. It was still the same kind and lovely Farmer.

Only now as a big doggo!

"So fluffy!" "Sam, I'm a monster." "You're still the same Farmer, only cooler. And fluffier!"

Heh... Well, better that than disgust.

Elliott:

After witnessing Farmer's transformation, Elliott's face was as pale as death. "Merciful Yoba..."

Frightened and not knowing what to do, he took a couple of steps back and pressed himself against the nearest wall.

"Has my end come? Will I really meet death from my beloved Farmer who has taken the form of a beast? Will I be torn into a thousand pieces by their razor-sharp claws?"

"Elliott, I'm actually sane, and I'm not going to tear you apart."

What a relief! His beloved Farmer is still a Farmer!

"And how did you know what I was thinking? Are werewolves really capable of reading the minds of mere humans?" "Nah, you just said it all out loud."

Oh, well... that's was awkward.

Give the writer a week and he'll get used to Farmer, no problem.

Sebastian:

Who would have thought that a man could feel fear and awe at the same time. Sebastian didn't think so, not until Farmer revealed the truth about their origins.

Sebby's whole body screams that he should run and hide. But in his head he thinks it's the coolest thing he's ever seen in his life. If he told Abigail or Sam, they wouldn't believe him.

And as he stood there thinking, Farmer leaned over to Sebby and looked at him with their wolf eyes.

Strangely, Sebastian didn't see any rage. Still the same Farmer he'd known for a long time.

And the fur on their muzzle is so nice. Soft... What's he talking about? Ah, yeah, a werewolf...

Sebastian's verdict: Farmer is cool, not a monster, he won't leave them and he'll keep the secret.

Harvey:

Right, Harvey's come to visit a Farmer, the time is perfect...

*Transforms into a werewolf* There, now Farmer will explain- *Harvey fainted* *Sigh...* Farmer reckoned the doctor would stay conscious longer.

Well, Harvey's awake again, now- *Harvey fainted again* Not again... Harvey, c'mon!

It took a few hours and a lot of sedation (wine) before they could explain everything to their beloved spouse.

Despite the not-so-good start, Harvey took the news quite well. Well, as normal as possible.

And life got back on track. Although there were a couple of awkward moments:

"I'm gonna eat you~" *Harvey startled* "Not literally! I was just flirting with you!"

Alex:

After Farmer's transformation, Alex's "fight or flight" response was immediately triggered.

Our athlete chose to fight. And immediately punched Farmer in their sensitive wolf nose. It hurt....

"Ouch! Why?!" "And who the heck turns into a monster without warning beforehand?!" "....."

You can't argue with Alex's words, Farmer, so this is your mistake.

Basically, Alex asked only a few questions that interested him: whether the Farmer would bite him, whether they would chew the furniture in their werewolf form, whether their would mark the territory...

"For Yoba's sake, Alex, I'm a werewolf, not a dumb puppy!" "Just checking, you know."

Don't worry, these two will be fine.

SDV bachelorettes:

Abigail:

Farmer: *took their beast form in front of Abigail* "Abby, I know you're scared, but listen to me please-" "Would."

......

"....Abby, what the actual fuck?"

As you can see, Abigail has no problem with her lover being a werewolf.

On the contrary, in her eyes, Farmer is the coolest person on the entire planet! A real werewolf! That's brutal!

"Do you know other werewolves? Are you a member of a pack? Oh, oh, you've fought vampires, haven't you?!"

Help.

But Farmer is glad that the amethyst lover didn't turn on them after they uncovered the truth.

So basically, her attitude won't change.

Well, maybe a liiiittle bit.... ("Can I scratch your fluffy ear? Pretty please?" "Abby!").

Penny:

Farmer must give Penny credit: their dear girlfriend was able to stay conscious for a full ten seconds before fainting from horror after what she had seen.

They thought she'd only last five seconds.

Good thing Farmer had prepared earlier and caught the young teacher before she hit the floor.

The conversation was very, very long.

And yet, Penny didn't turn her back on them. Even as a werewolf, it's still the same Farmer. Just a little more fur everywhere, no big deal.

She feels protected with them (she did before Farmer confessed, but even more so now) and, most importantly, just as loved.

But it's a pain to clean the fur off her blouse all the time....

Emily:

Emily began whispering a prayer to keep herself safe from... wait, Farmer!?

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner. I was afraid you'd reject me-" Before Farmer could finish speaking, Emily rushed over to them and hugged them as hard as she could.

They told everything and the blue-haired girl had convinced them that she loved them and would not leave them.

They both also discussed some details so that there wouldn't be any surprises later, like not being able to return to human form during the full moon, or fur all over the house.

"Fur?" "Well, yeah, we moult about twice a year."

After saying that, they'll have a bunch of fancy clothes made from their own wool that Emily embroidered for them. She's a handy girl, what can I say.

Maru:

Terrified, Maru threw the first thing she could find at Farmer. The first thing that came to hand was a spanner.

Ouch! That hurts!

"...Farmer?" "Well, who else!? Ouch..."

Actually, after Farmer's whining, Maru completely forgot about the fear and approached them to check if she had hurt them badly.

"There'll definitely be a bump, but it's no big deal. We werewolves can survive more than that."

Werewolves... The young inventor's mind boggles... A real transformation before her eyes, that's... It's phenomenal!

She has so many questions for Farmer! Oh, wait a second... She completely forgot to ask about their feelings. "Are you alright, dear?"

Don't let Farmer worry: she'll keep their secret and not abandon them.

Leah:

"Holy shi-" Leah got into a fighting stance and held the sculpting tools in her hands. A self-defence tool of sorts, but it was sharp, so it would do.

Fortunately, the tools weren't needed.

"Leah, darling, put this back please." "Prove you're a Farmer I know." *Sigh* "I punched your ex when we had a picnic in the woods and then we went somewhere more secluded to..." "Okay, okay, I believe you."

Farmer told her everything: about the werewolves, how long they'd been hiding it, etc.

"Why didn't you tell earlier?" "Well, at the very least, because I was just expecting a reaction like yours." "Hmm, fair enough."

Well, werewolf, so what? The artist doesn't bother with it.

Especially after Farmer had scared her ex, Kel, in their wolf form when Kel came to the Valley again with another attempt to get Leah back. Bye, loser!

Haley:

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!" It's a wonder how the glass of the windows didn't crack from such a high-pitched sound, because you can see that Haley is trying.

Really, her goal isn't to break the glass of the windows, but to scare away the huge wolf-like man.

"Haley, it's me..." "Aaaaaaaaaaah!" This goes on like this for about five minutes.

Luckily for Farmer, their eloquence was enough to finally calm their girlfriend down and explain that they're still the same Farmer and won't hurt her.

"Ewww, your fur is now on my new skirt..." Heh, if she's complaining a little, she's not afraid anymore. Progress.

Though it's a little hard for her to get used to, Haley has concluded that it's still the same Farmer she loves.

And to be frank already - she loves their cuddles in werewolf form - will even tolerate fur everywhere.

[cluedoenthusiast]

idea/request for the next autism collection post and can it be Al's limp wrists/autism hands maybe also featuring that AM era interview where he just doesn't know what tf to do w his arms

(you don't have to respond to this it's simply food for thought hehehehe) :D

this one?

[sophaeros]

👋🏾 real actual person here (unfortunately 😫), and i have a question!

i know you were working on an outfit comp for the eycte tour, and i wondered if you are documenting the shows they wore, too.

i have a tiny theory that alex wore flat shoes more often than his favorite boots, because he enjoys the height difference with miles? 🥹 any insight from the lead researcher on this matter would be wonderful! xxxx

S I COULD KISS YOU METAPHORICALLY. i AM actually documenting per show so it looks like this (i know the layout is terrible im fixing it later)

and bc i am unwell each show takes a million years to find pics for bc i try to find full body pics as much as possible bc i was like well what if the shoes matter for some reason. and aside from one of my friends saying they do think the shoes would be cool info to have i've questioned the actual usefulness of doing this BUT NOW I HAVE ANOTHER PERSON SAYING THEY GIVE A SHIT ABT THIS!!!!YIPPEE

anyway im not done yet some shows dont have shoe pics im filling them in later but currently based on 44 shows alex wore flat shoes about 24 times 😋👍 so u might be onto something here bestie‼️

[propertyofwhitney67]

F! dol li (including the monsters) reaction to you smothering yourself in their Booba?

Hell yeah, I love booba. I'm not good with F!LI's so I hope this is ok.

Whitney scrunches up her brows and pushes you off, "The fuck are you doing, slut?" If she's in a good mood she'll let you do it.

Kylar is startled and blushing furiously. She looks down and pulls you closer, if that's even possible. Her breathing is fast and her grip is tight.

Robin is confused, "What are you doing?" She eventually relaxes and pats your head.

C!Sydney smirks and pulls you into her lap. Probably continues marking books or whatever it is that she does in the library.

Alex just smiles, wrapping her arms around your waist and laying back in the grass with you on her chest.

Avery gets angry and pushes you off. This is something to do in private, not public. Probably lets you do it in the hot tub or when you're falling asleep in the hotel.

Eden doesn't react much, just a small smile and wrapping an around you while they continue to read to you.

BW hums loudly, chest vibrating, "Is mate ok?" Relaxes and goes back to sleep when you tell them you're fine.

GH puffs up their feathers in surprise, "Wife/husband?" Just hush them and they'll smile happily, letting you do as you please.

[juvian]

Feebas, the fish pokemon -> 349

Milotic, the tender pokemon -> 350

Do not repost

[digenerate-trash]

I will not elaborate. Empty ven under the cut. So you can make your own.

[efingart]

Hi You're very open to the Black Ops series and I wanted to know, by curiosity, if there's anything canon in the series that you wish didn't happen (not taking BO4 into account, it never happened), like a detail about a character, relationships, events, etc...

Oh my gosh! Great question! I think most of what I'd like to change about canon would be what I wish they had added. But I still have a few moments I'd like removed.

My big canon-changing one is:

Bowman's death. I realize he's very dead. There was a part of me for a while that just wanted to say fuck canon, maybe he was just injured, they got him out somehow. I really liked Bowman and I just think he deserved an "I lived bitch" moment.

Also there are things I'd like removed that I think fanon took too far.

One would be Woods' infamous Cold War onion line. A simple search would reveal that "knowing your onions" was a common turn of phrase for someone of that generation. But also in a room that at least had to have a couple Millenials in it, the Shrek association ALONE should have killed that line. And I didn't even GET that line the first time I played through. So the fact that it's random out of three or four things he could say makes it more aggravating. It's so stupid and it's so extra aggravating that people use it to portray Woods as a goofball idiot.

Another would be the tree-climbing scene in Black Ops 2. I hate how ONE SCENE has completely painted Mason as a bad dad. And no I don't think you should yell at your children. But there are so many factors in play there. I legit have had to stop myself from writing essays about it because I really could. It's one scene of a grieving father and son trying to get used to each other. Their relationship is tense because Alex was on the road a lot. Alex is trying to make sure that his kid is able to take care of himself (because people keep dying around him, HELLO). Oh my god here I go again. I'm not doing this 😂 So yeah I'd rather have it nixed than have to look at surface level takes about it. (tbh I'd rather have more father son scenes to balance it out but it's CoD and that's as about as domestic as it's gonna get).

Also Bell's legends line. Jesus Christ. That's not canon. If there's one thing in Black Ops that's not canon it's that stupid line. And the onion one. (As far as JWIN goes it's Bell teasing Frank because well... if you know anything about Chapter 7 well then you know)

[dollya-robinprotector]

does GH have a child with lya?

'Fraid not yet mate. The thought alone gave Lya anxiety.

[raceweek]

have u listened to the latest the fast and the curious episode, alex was being a menace the entire time and it was great

it’s a MIRACLE he’s charming bc god knows he’d be jobless otherwise

[weirdcursedvaultkid]

Due to circumstances Merula is...pretty. Anyone who disagrees will be shunned publicly before being thrown into the pit.

she's the prettiest witch at hogwarts!

[best-enemies]

I have watched Red, White and Royal Blue twice now and i'm past that scene on the book so nothing can convince me that Henry didn't invite Alex to the polo match just so he could show off his riding abilities if you know what I'm talking about

[qsmpbutwithsignlanguage]

quackity used his law school education quite a bit during dsmp lore and i would assume also for the qsmp election. he flexes that law school brain of his, it's just not always done so in a typical court room manner.

You're so right, anon. I just constantly find it hilarious that it only seems to come in handy during Minecraft.

[liesmyth]

do you think richmond wins the treble next year (to you)? i know it's unrealistic but i want itttt. at the very least the premier league they have to win. like, jamie deserves to win a trophy with his besties before he moves on to chelsea/psg/wtv so he can reach his full potential AND bang his fave coach in peace <3

It IS unrealistic but LIVE YOUR DREAMS.

I could see a multiple-trophy season as, like, a culmination of Jamie's years at Richmond, their golden years etc, but honestly not any S4-ish timeline because the stars really have to align for a continental treble, and the Champions League especially is such a wild card (and Richmond have never even been in the UCL before!) You need a well-honed team with deep pockets at Richmond in S3 are just starting to play with the cool kids. BUT maybe they get super lucky because everyone else gets super unlucky, who knows? LIVE YOUR DREAMS

Anyway they absolutely have it in them to win one (1) trophy next season,at least. I believe in them. (Which in turn would block City from winning their treble, though since the show is one year behind. Sorry City)

Also: fun fact, Roy's background at Chelsea from early-00s to mid-10s means that he's a double winner, because Chelsea won the FA Cup and the League title in 2010. That man has so many medals at home.

[propertyofwhitney67]

lis as rodents?

I fucking love this

I learned that some animals I didn't think were rodents are, like so many

Whitney: Naked Mole Rat | aggressive

Kylar: Chinchilla | soft, sleeps a lot, likes to hide

Sydney: Flying Squirrels | mostly just vibes but also social and intelligent

Robin: Guinea Pig | gentle, social creatures, expressive

Avery: Black Rat/Ship Rat | can display destructive and aggressive behaviors, obsess over their grooming and cleanliness

Alex: Prairie Dog | active, playful, social

Eden: Porcupine | solitary

GH: Prairie Vole |  highly affiliative, forms enduring social bonds between mates (mate for life), and displays biparental behavior

BW: Beaver | live within a hierarchy, territorial, active at night