Found this old snippet and don't really remember of the context for it outside of being a joking exploration of how weird the Fenton/Phantom family tree would seem to outsiders (not even getting into how relationships might be classified differently between the human side & the ghost side)
Anyway gonna drop it here as a prompt lol
Mind the quick reference to dismemberment, there's no gore or detailed description and no one is actually hurt, it's more there for comedic effect, but still wanted to give the heads up on it 👍
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Nomad motioned to the towering, vaguely vampire-looking buff dude with literal flaming hair what the fuck, “Dan, this is everyone. Everyone this is Dan. He’s my…” Nomad trailed off and blinked, a look of confused befuddlement on her face as she let the sentence hang for too long.
“Huh…” She said considering, looking up at vampire-dude, Dan apparently, with a confused furrow on her brow. “You know this is the first time I’ve ever had to try and explain our relationship to each other and I’m drawing a blank and what exactly to call you. Uncle? Dad? Brother? Like, I think you could technically be considered all three.”
What the fuck did that mean??? Kon snapped his attention over to meet Tim’s masked gaze, the look of wild confusion Kon was sure was on his own face mirrored there. Around the meeting room confused and worried looks were being shared by the rest of the League. Which like, yeah, what in the Habsburgs was happening here for all of those terms to be applicable?
“Well, you’re Danny’s Mirror, so if you consider him your dad then it stands to reason I’m also your father.” Dan said, hand coming up to his - literally flaming, how did that work? - goatee thoughtfully.
“Yeah but like, I call Danny dad just to piss Vlad off.” Nomad countered, toying with her severed arm with her still attached hand. Kon didn’t think he’d ever get over how casual she was about being literally disarmed and just…not caring. “And I definitely don’t see you as a dad. Uncle?”
The giant of a ghost shook his head with a frown, “Implies that Danny and I are brothers, which could work but gives our relationship kind of a weird vibe. I feel more like his father than anything.”
“Gramps, then?”
“No.”
Nomad laughed, “Fair, wouldn’t want to take the title of Grampa away from CW. Besides we’re both half Vlad, so I think brother works best here.” She frowned, looking thoughtful, “Maybe half brother?”
Dan considered, “Half-brother could work. Though it gives Vlad more credit than he deserves.”
“Oh come on, can you imagine the look on his face if we went in together on suing him for child support?” Nomad asked, fanged grin wicked. Dan’s face lit up at the idea, and Kon felt like they were rapidly heading towards the two ghosts running off to go and go torment whoever this Vlad guy was rather then them help deal with the current demonic problem at hand.
“Can you please explain what any of that means?” Kon asked, more a squeak than anything else. He was starting to get a headache.
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Modern fandom brain this, modern fandom brain that. My grandfather's first and middle name were the first and last name of the love interest from his mother's favorite romance novel. And she died before my dad was born, so her favorite book is the only thing I know about her. People have always been like this about stories they love. So like, get on my great grandma's level or sit down
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thinking of a young adult, freshly moved into his first home, which happens to have an elderly borrower couple living in the walls. the elderly couple is a little noisy and long lost all subtly when borrowing, so the guy discovers them quickly, but doesn’t let them know he’s aware of them. he lets them borrow in peace, and thinks they’re utterly adorable.
until he suddenly has to make sure no spoiled food is in range because they will steal and eat ANYTHING, no matter the expiration date. he has to put railings on the counter because they’re a little unsteady and his heart drops every time one almost has a fall. he has to act oblivious when he hears them bickering at a huge volume because they don’t realize how loud they are. he’s sneakily stealing their old worn supplies like rope or bags and replacing them with new ones that won’t break or hurt them.
and when the tinies do find out he knows about them? oh, little Grandma and Grandpa TAKE ADVANTAGE. they now have a strong young man who will go to the grocery store and get them applesauce whenever they ask. Grandpa is having the guy do heavy lifting and construction work for them. Grandma is sitting on his shoulder and fussing at him for slicing veggies wrong. they nag him to take them to visit their grandkids, they tell him to cut his hair and get a better job, they sneak little trinkets into his hand and run off before he can politely decline.
and he utterly loves it. he loves his tiny grandparents
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