fantasysearcher

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You cannot tell me that “some murder is justifiable,” crash-out, Shakespeare quoting, Jane Austin loving nerd, Jason Todd would not absolutely love Epic: The Musical.

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In the ultimate test of stealth (and a clear misuse of Bruce’s money) the Bat kids decided to see who can sneak up on the most thugs while they’re all wearing light up shoes. Specifically, the ones that light up whenever you take a step.

Oracle is the judge of this competition, and makes sure they all have equal chances to show off their skills.

Dick starts walking on his hands.

I feel like at some point in the night, Red Hood grapples down from above, Landing soft enough the lights don’t set off. His shadow extends down the ally, his frame backlit by the street lights on the road beyond. The muggers can really only see a shadow and like fools they go “get out of here if you don’t want to join him.”

Hood laughs, stomps his foot, and watches the crooks begin to panic as the dim light of the shoes reflects off the blood red of his helmet.

Tim is weirdly light footed, as is Damian. After a bit of practice, the two of them figured out how to walk and balance their weight in a way that won’t set the lights off. Dick and Jason think they’re cheating, but when the brothers test the younger two’s shoes, they’re operating perfectly.

Cass is Cass.

Steph is just there for a fun time.

Duke works in the daylight. Since he wants to participate, Tim rigs a pair of shoes to sing “here comes the sun,” Instead of light up.

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hey girl check out how hard i can cry

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hey girl check out how hard i can cry

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'Irredeemable media' is such a funny concept to me because it's never used for stuff like Birth of a Nation or A Serbian Film. It's always The Owl House or My Hero Academia because these people only watch things for children and can't stand any conflict more complex than Super Mario Brothers.

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Diagram of alien biology

It seems their fetal development takes place inside of vegetation rather than a womb, hmm…

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Holiday request: child support

John is in a meeting with the Justice League when Clockwork comes knocking. It's a regular update on security and safety procedures, the kind of boring stuff John would have customarily skipped out on, except that this meeting also covers how to provide younger teams support.

Teams that his son was a part of. If Danny was ever on a mission, that could have ended in him passing simply because some wanker didn't know how to find him or how to help him in time?

So here was John, half slumped over his chair as Batman droned about procedures and policies. He had barely gotten through Wonder Woman's long lecture on support combat.

He was thinking of grabbing a coffee- John's been working on his drinking after making a promise to try and get sober for his son- so he was replacing the urge for alcohol with coffee. It was one of the hardest things he's ever done.

Thankfully, he knows some spells that help with withdrawals. It's better than the alternative, even if some days are shitter than others.

"Hello, Johnny," Coos, the Ancient being of Time, flouting before him in his human form. John can feel every hero's jaw drop even as he smiles awkwardly at the other parent of his child.

"Clockwork." He greets, eyes taking in the gorgeous features of Time. He nods his head towards the bag, flouting by Clockwork. "Lovely to see you as always. Got a gift for me?"

"Hmm." Clockwork flouts down, landing on his feet and surveying the room. His pure red eyes sparkled in amusement as the awestruck members of the Justice League. Even Batman seemed momently thrown- though if that was because of Clockwork's beauty or the insane amount of power pushing down on all their souls was anyone's guess.

"I've come to spend a weekend with my son. And you, I suppose, if you do not mind housing me." Clockwork says, at last, patting the bag. John feels his mouth go dry. Yes, he slept with Acient before and wouldn't be opposed to another round, but Clockwork wasn't his average ex.

Clockwork held the entire multiverse at the tip of his fingers, suspended on his amusement, and it could all be destroyed with a mere snap from the other. If he found disproved of even the slightest thing about how John was raising Danny, he could kill billions of people, or worse, he could take Danny away.

John feels cold dread grip his heart even as he laughs. "Of course, I can house you. I hope you won't find being in the human world too much hassle."

"Oh no. I have the perfect disguise to blend in with the humans." Clockwork assures, pulling out a pair of fetching glasses and a white cane. He places them on his head and taps his stick on the ground before grinning. John finds himself instantly spotting the same cocky curve to Danny's own grin, and his heart swells.

"Now, where is my boy? It's been years since I last saw him." Clockwork pauses before shrugging his head. "Or it's only been nine months in this realm. Still a long time for my son."

The Ancient snaps his fingers, ripping a portal open to the front of Danny's school. He offers his arm to the blond man, nodding toward Gotham Academy. The soft ring of the dismissal bells rings as students start pouring out of the front door in drones. Classes for the day have just ended.

"Come along, Johnny. Guide me." John shoots the Leauge an apologetic smile, knowing they will understand how important this visit is. He loops his arm through Clockwork, while heaving the man's bag over his other shoulder. The soft tapping of Clockwork's cane on the ground is the portal's only sound before it slams closed.

It cuts off the explosion of noise the Leauge makes, but with all those overlapping voices, John has no idea who said what.

Danny walks out of the school with Damian, Jon, and Colin, laughing and beaming at the younger boys. Clockwork pauses for a few seconds before he beams.

"You're doing a great job, Johnny." The Ancient says just as Danny's gaze locks on them. His face fumbles with ripples of emotion before lighting up in glee. He races towards them with a gutted shout, "Father!"

Clockwork opens his arms just as Danny slams into him. John steps back, but the Ancient grabs the sleeve of his trench coat and drags him into the hug.

"A really great job." The non-human whispers into John's ear. He feels a soft caress against his magic as if Clockwork was brushing the hair out of his face. His heart flutters softly, even as Danny beams at them, and various teenagers panic at his boy's beauty.

Something tells John that having his ex visiting won't be as bad as he initially thought.

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Danny fucking isekaied himself, and he's not super sure how to get back.

So Tucker, the nerd, is super into DC.

Danny?

Not so much.

Sure, he'll half-listen to Tucker's rants on DC, but he's not really up to date on what's going on in the DCU. Sue him, it's not something that ever really grabbed his attention.

Well, maybe it should have grabbed his attention.

Because he got shot with his parents newest invention, and woke up on the streets of Gotham.

He has no powers other than his healing factor and ability to see/talk to ghosts.

He barely knows what the fuck is going on, but he does know about all the fucked up possibilities Tucker won't shut up about (Injustice, court of owls, that weird Owlman instead of Batman thing, something about the green lanterns being possessed, vampires or zombies or hell, maybe both? The list goes on and fucking ON), so he's pretty sure he knows the danger signs to look out for.

He just has to avoid any superheroes, at all, and get the hell out of Gotham as soon as possible.

Except that he's uh.

He's a little before Tucker's reading, he thinks?

Batman literally just debuted the night before, and there's only a few glimpses of the Man of Steel.

But it's fine! It's fine.

Danny just has to...somehow get back home?

...What city was the Flash in again?

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this website’s easy watch. *dangles a bunch of greek gods like keys*

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Terrarium Dress🌱🍄 I want to take all the moss and mushrooms with me wherever I go~

The hours long video recordings, HD images and PSD files will be DMed on my Patreon on Jan 5th

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Danny has developed a neat new power after a tussle with Ghostwriter! And by neat I mean horrible.

Nobody can lie around him, including himself.

They become physically incapable of it.

Sam thinks his range is around 250ft. He can't turn it off. It's just a side-effect of his existence now.

In other news there has been fifty-seven divorces in Amity, thirty-one elopements, and seventy-six arrests for tax evasion.

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Okay, so, friends. Occasionally I see an American post on here about “guillotine the rich,” and it turns out that “rich” means “anyone making over $50k.”

We need to clear this shit up REAL fast, because otherwise it’s gonna wind up like the French Revolution, where more middle class and poor people were killed for being “class traitors” than actual nobles. (Did you know that France has more nobles today than during the French Revolution? While there were a few showy executions, many nobles did just fine or experienced minor setbacks.)

If someone makes $60,000 a year, they are making about twice as much as a full time worker making minimum wage in California, Arizona, Colorado, Connecticut, DC, Hawaii, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, Massachusetts, New Jersey, New York, Oregon, Rhode Island, or Washington State.

Brian Thompson, the CEO of United HealthCare who was just assassinated in New York City, earned $10 million a year, which means he earned 333 times minimum wage in those states. Basically, he cleared an annual minimum wage salary in just over a day. And that “rich” person making $60k/year that you want to guillotine? He made their salary in a bit over two days of a year.

So he was rich, right?

Well. Tesla is trying to give Elon Musk a pay package of $101 billion. That is 10,100 times what Brian Thompson earned and 3,366,667 times more than a minimum wage worker. (Tesla hasn’t been successful yet because of a complicated lawsuit from a shareholder, but they’ll get there.) If you are a minimum wage worker, Elon Musk makes more every SECOND than you do in a year. And that “rich” person who you want to guillotine? He makes their salary in about 1.6 seconds. Even when he’s sleeping.

Now, remember. The Muskrat also is the head of SpaceX, the Boring Company, X.ai, and X.com, so this is just ONE pay package for him.

What I’m saying is — you have much more in common when it comes to economic grievances with someone earning $60,000 (or even $200,000) than the ultra wealthy that have real power. They are not the people you should expend your energy on.

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Hello, tumblr user. Before you is a tumblr post asking you to name a female fictional character. You have unlimited time to tag a female character, NOT a male one.

Begin.

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You know, if CEOs want me to really care about CEOs getting killed by guns, maybe we shouldn't have spent the last couple decades making the US so numb to absolutely horrifying gun violence. I have reached the point where I can not cry when another round of kids in school are murdered with guns. No wonder I can feel vaguely amused when a sleazy millionaire who built his career off denying human rights and dignity is being murdered.

That being said, I don't want to be in charge of ranking who is most worthy of life and making the call on choosing who lives and dies.

Hmmm....You know who does want to be in charge of that?

(Health Insurance CEOs)

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STEVE BUSCEMI WAS THE INSPIRATION FOR SANJI I AM SCREAMING