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farfromtommy · 5 years ago

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better than this (dad!chris evans)

summary: a little insight into life as a parent with chris throughout the years

warnings: talk of preterm labor but nothing graphic or major

word count: 2,250

A/N: okay so like this idea came to me at 2 am and wrote it till about 5 in the morning and im crying at the softness. totally unedited and posted bc im so obsessed with it. i havent written in this kind of format before but i loved loved loved it. i was also thinking while writing this to do this but for steve rogers and i swear i lost my mind. if you guys are interested in something like that id love to write this but for steve <3

masterlist

add yourself to my taglist here!

After meeting through some mutual friends you fell in love with each other. Chris swore he would have married you after your first date. A ring came about a year and a half later, Chris not wanting to call you anything but his wife for any longer. One dream wedding and a month-long honeymoon around the world, you were Mrs. Y/N Evans.

The conversation about kids came fairly early in the relationship. Him coming from a big family, he wanted the same for himself. He wanted a big house in the Massachusetts suburbs, the white picket fence, a couple of dogs, and the kids. He wanted to come home from work being attacked by a couple of kids and seeing you walking towards him barefoot and pregnant.

You were an only child to divorced parents, growing up mostly on your own. You never saw yourself as a mom, but always loved the idea of running after a couple of kids. Never wanting to bring a child into the kind of world you grew up in. The sad and lonely kind of world you endured most of your life. After meeting his family after a couple of months of dating and seeing the way he interacted with his nieces and nephews, you couldn’t help but hope to see yourself raising some kids with him.

He loved the idea of raising a family with you.

Grayson Christopher Evans

You brought your first child into the world not too long after your wedding.

You were in labor for about 16 hours before you were met with the screams of a baby boy.

Your baby boy.

He cried and cried until his skin met yours, calming him down almost instantly. Looking over at Chris who was at an absolute loss for words at the little person calming himself with the sound of your heartbeat. He looked at you for a while before looking back at his baby boy.

Chris couldn’t quite process the feelings he felt that night his son was born. He knew how much he loved you. You knew how much you loved him. But having this little person as a tangible expression of your love and commitment for each other was just beyond him. It was beyond anyone.

Grayson was just like his dad. Almost an exact copy of him if you were being honest. The same big blue eyes. The same soft brown hair. The same everything. Lisa often said how much Grayson was just like Chris was when he was a kid. There was little of you visible in him. Maybe he had the curve of your nose and the shape of your lips. But he was all Chris.

His little personality bubbling since day one. You couldn't have asked for a more perfect baby. He giggled as much as he could and played until he fell asleep with a toy in his hand. You were so lucky to have been gifted this little boy as your first baby. Chris had been struggling to balance work and his responsibility to you and Grayson but never failed to make sure you knew how loved you both were, even from thousands of miles apart.

Eleanor Olivia Evans

After another long labor, you welcomed a little girl into your new family of 4. A tiny little girl who, just like your boy once did, calmed themselves down at the sound of your heart and the warmth from your body. Chris once again sat there just absolutely beside himself at the sight of the love of his life with his little girl on your chest.

Introducing Eleanor, or Ellie, to Grayson was probably one of the greatest moments of your life. Chris walked in with Grayson in his arms telling him that we needed to use our indoor voices when talking to mommy and the baby. Grayson quickly climbed to sit right next to you, not bearing even 1 day away from you. You hugged your little boy and talked to him about meeting his sister. Grayson ran his little hands running along Eleanor’s cheeks as you sat there crying at the moment they were having with each other.

Now with a 3-year-old and a 1-year-old life couldn’t have been sweeter. You had hardly been working while pregnant with Ellie, still having to keep up with a rambunctious toddler. Before kids, you were doing some writing for all sorts of movies and TV shows. After kids, you took fewer jobs that require travel and stayed mostly local.

Chris not wanting to leave you at home with a toddler and a newborn had made sure his work kept him close or allowed you and the kids to go with him. You both wanted to make sure you were there when Grayson and Ellie needed you.

If Grayson was a mama’s boy, Ellie was 1000% a daddy’s girl. She refused to let Chris out of her sight if she could help it. She refused to sleep most nights without hearing the sound of her dad’s voice and would cry and cry if he didn’t sing her to sleep. When Chris was pulled away for a week for work you were losing your mind trying to get her to sleep.

After a mild breakdown, you gave in and called Chris knowing even hearing his voice over the phone would calm the baby down. He sat there on the phone and just talked to her. She fell asleep almost immediately and slept through most of the night. You thanked Chris and ended up asking him for voice recordings of him talking and singing so you could play them in case he was pulled away again.

Charlotte Rose Evans

Charlotte, or Charlie as she's been nicknamed by her siblings, came into the world with a crew waiting so patiently for her arrival. By far the most painful and complicated birth you have had, she had quite dramatically made her entrance into the Evans family.

You had been monitored closely the last couple of months of your pregnancy as Miss Charlie tried to make an appearance early. You had some complications about halfway through and your midwife had been worried about possible preterm labor. You had started to have what you knew were contractions at 30 weeks and were immediately rushed into the hospital to try and halt the contractions and luckily succeeding.

You were placed on strict bed rest for the remainder of your pregnancy, not even allowed to stand at the stove making dinner, only getting up to use the bathroom and move from the bed to the couch.

It didn’t make your life with an overactive 4 and 2-year-old easy at all. Chris stayed home 24/7 to take care of you and his mom and sisters rotating taking the time to stay with you to help with the kids.

When Charlie did make her debut both of you were as healthy as you could be. Once again, bringing Chris to tears as another baby made their way into your family. He didn’t know he was capable of loving this much. He thought he had reached capacity after Ellie but the love he had for you and his kids just kept growing as you kept adding on.

If Grayson was all Chris, Charlie was all you. Except for her blue eye, which you figured would be a pattern with your kids. She was a copy of you and Chris ate it up. Eleanor is a perfect combination of the two of you. You could see the traits of you as well as the traits of Chris throughout her. But Charlie was completely you.

Grayson fit right into his role as big brother and protector of the Evans girls. He made sure every night he said goodnight to his sisters and told them he loved them with a kiss on their foreheads.

Ellie was excited that she no longer had to share her dolls with Grayson and would finally have a girl to play with. Charlie looked up to her big sister, seeing her as the most amazing person she has ever met.

Grayson, however, felt like he needed another sibling, specifically a boy sibling, and constantly asked you for a brother. He said to you over and over again that his friends at school had brothers and he needed one so very bad. You and Chris had agreed to stop at 3 but had given into the idea of having 1 more to try and even out the numbers. With Grayson in 2nd grade, Ellie in kindergarten, and Charlie starting Pre-K soon, having another wouldn’t be impossible.

Declan Robert Evans

The 2nd boy and the 4th and final child Chris and Y/N had brought into their world. Another perfect mix of Chris and Y/N.

His birth being the last time you would be in the hospital having a baby made it just that more emotional. You soaked in the first moments of his life just a little bit more. Chris cried just a couple more tears, seeing that angel on your chest for the first time. You admired the father of your children just a little more seeing him introduce the addition to the family to your other kids. Adoring the look on Grayson’s face when you set Declan on his lap, finally meeting the little brother he’d been wanting. Asking you if he could take him to class to show off to all his friends.

Walking around your house Declan’s first day home was more emotional than you had thought it would be. You brought every single one of your babies right through your front door. You had pictures littered around the house of moments in your life you were lucky to have immortalized forever. Knowing you had started your family here made you love everything just that much more.

Declan now 5 years old, Charlotte 8 years old, Eleanor 10 years old and Grayson at 12 years old you couldn’t imagine life any differently. You and Chris celebrated 13 years of marriage and almost 15 years together surrounded by the physical representations of the love you two shared for each other was unexplainable.

You had slowly started to get back into the work you loved doing so much after Declan started school. You were able to work on projects offered to you with Chris and had become an unstoppable duo professionally and personally.

Even having the amazing opportunities to do something you loved to do, nothing would ever beat sitting around a table listening to your kids talk about everything and anything that came to mind. Listening to them talk about what happened at school or about upcoming events they want to participate in was the highlight of your day.

Grayson had been playing with a football the moment he could pick one up. Chris nearly cried when Grayson had approached you guys about doing little league football at the rec center. Chris had been watching Patriot's games with Grayson since the day he was born. Taking him to games with Scott whenever they had the chance. The love for football ran in his blood and when he found out he could play on a team he took the chance as soon as it presented himself.

Eleanor had found a love for music and performing, just like her dad. She had picked up music and singing at a very young age, which probably came from her dad's love of performing. You encouraged her to pursue her love for music by telling her stories of when her daddy was young and used to stand on stage before he started doing big movies. She loved looking at pictures and watching old videos of Chris performing in high school whenever she'd visit Grandma Lisa.

Charlotte had picked up your love of reading and writing as soon as she could. Her favorite day of the week is when her class gets to spend time at the library finding new things to read and learn about. So far a running theme with her is books about nature and animals. She loves sitting down with you in the afternoon and telling you about what she learned in the science portion of her day. She had learned about how plants and animals interact and how important they are for all humans. She told you that when she's big she wants to make sure no one ever hurts plants and animals since they are so important for us.

Declan hadn't quite developed a love for something like his siblings had. All he cares about right now is the kind of snacks his mom packs for him and superheroes. You and Chris had introduced him to the world of superheroes recently, knowing that being in school someone was bound to mention to him about seeing his dad on a movie they watched. He was obsessed with the fact that his dad was a superhero once upon a time. He loved watching Chris' movies and would always ask to watch them whenever Chris wasn't home.

You looked at Chris from across the table as Grayson talked to him about football tryouts and asking him if they could practice after dinner. He felt your eyes on him and looked at you with a smirk and a wink thrown at you before giving Grayson his attention again.

You sat back a little to look around at this family surrounding you, knowing there was nothing better than this.

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my-autistic-things · 4 years ago

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/// end of the semester post again + long rant oops

I have an undefined extension for my paper but I self imposed a deadline for Monday night/Tuesday morning. I did this with the realistic thought of working on it Sunday night for a few hours (thinking I would be 90% done), and then working on it for a few hours Monday night (then being fully done). Wellllll I didn't work on it yesterday so now I gotta do everything in one night. I got to sleep at least all day, but I'm like,,,, so overwhelmed. I genuine could not work on my paper last night/this morning bc I was so anxious and depressed and tired and every time I mustered up the ability to just re reread my draft the babies needed food. I think I could finish it all tonight, but I'm going hiking/hanging out with a friend tomorrow morning so regardless of whatever happens, I won't get to sleep more than an hour or two. And the faucet still isn't fixed. I tried last night and the whole sink may need to be removed bc there's so much rust I can't tell if the raucet fused to the sink or the sink fused to the faucet. Anyways, me and my mom are fighting again bc she was discouraging me from doing anything last night in case it turned into a huge project (and ofc it did) and I couldn't handle it in one night and we would have to call a professional. Changing a faucet is pretty damn easy,, when there isn't like an INCH of rust surrounding the base. Well, i can change the sink myself (that part doesn't have any rust), but we just need to buy one and ofc our house has a giant single sink that may have been custom made so we would need to call a professional to resize our sink hole to fit in a new sink. But she needed to call to find out who sells our sized sink (if they do) so we know if we can just go buy a new sink I can change it, or we buy a new sink then call a professional. So she didn't do that. And that's understandable and everything bc she's busy, but the point is, I said I needed to at least attempt this faucet change last night bc when else would it get done???? (hint: it will not be done until at least Wednesday, realistically at the earliest Frday, probably this weekend). Plus in attempting it, I got to see it's impossible to change and we can reasses what needs to be done. She said we would just handle it tomorrow when its not the middle of the night, which in a deluded idealized world would be perfect, but she works until 3:30 and nothing would get done until 4, and then we have no time to really do anything huge before 5:30/6 when we waln the dog,, then put the chickens to bed,, then need to feed the kittens again, and now its dark out just like yesterday and wow nothing got done. This happens every project and I'm sick of her saying "tomorrow" and MONTHS of not YEARS go by and nothing gets done. I have to do it myself while I have time and energy otherwise it genuinely will never be done. My plan is to measure, buy a new sink and keep it in the box, call a handyman/plumber, then make sure the old faucet can't come out and then they just replace the whole thing. Even tho I can probably figure out how to do it myself (the sink easily unscrews), it would be difficult and I'd rather sleep lmao.

I'm also slaty bc the neighbor was over when we argued a bit last night, and they both "deal with teenagers" (but her son is....really bad and not comparable to me at all) so every time I voice anything or call my mom out or anything she rolls her eyes and the neighbor agrees and thinks I'm irrational. Like, the neighbor only ever hears testimony from my moms side so of course she will think I'm an ungrateful insensitive child who needs to chill bc she doesn't see how my mom doesn't follow through on anything she says will happen, and it's a cycle of this until I blow up and do everything myself for years. I'm 20, almost officially a grad student, I know I'm young but I am certainly in no capacity a child anymore. Especially if you consider the responsibilities and real world adult roles I've taken on since I was 15. Even if I was a child, moms arent god and 99% of the time they are at fault for something in the situation.

This week I got my 2 finals too, so hopefully after this paper is done TONIGHT, I can hang out with my friend, sleep, do my first exam, then go to work Wednesday, then work and take my second exam on Thursday, and then work and do the faucet fiasco Friday. Until then, I will still not be eating much bc its such a big issue to wash stuff in the bathroom sink. But I'm surviving -- I'm eating enough calories, it's mainly just in potato chips and popcorn and cashews.

#max live blogs his final days of undergrad #rant #gotta go feed these kittens again #i am not cut out to be a momma cat #this is why i will never be a parent to a human child #this baby stage lasts WAY to long and the stakes are so much higher #plus you cant get excited about them opening their eyes lmao its one of my favorite parts about raising kittens from birth

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metalbatandzenko · 5 years ago

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All of them. All the questions.

oof

1. Do You Sleep With Your Closet Doors Open Or Closed?

I have sliding doors on my closet so it’s one open one closed.

2. Do You Have Freckles?

Nope!

3. Can You Whistle?

Nope (:

4. Last Song You Listened To.

I...don’t remember lmao, I think it was 6 Inch by Beyonce

5. What Is Your Favorite Color?

I don’t know if I have one tbh.

6. Relationship Status.

Currently juggling seven reply guys bc rona has everyone acting out of line, but single.

7. What Is The Temperature Right Now?

46º

8. Did You Wake Up Cranky?

Yes sdkjfhdlkf

9. How Many Followers?

215.

10. Zodiac Sign.

Aries/Aries/Cancer.

11. What Is Your Eye Color?

Brown.

12. Take A Vitamin Daily?

No.

13. Do You Sing In The Shower?

Yes, usually it’s Mitski or songs from musicals because you know. Former theater kid.

14. What Books Are You Reading?

The Chronology of Water by Lidia Yuknavitch.

15. Grab The Book Nearest To You, Turn To Page 64, Give Me Line 14.

“As in earlier days” from the poem The Walk by Thomas Hardy

16. Favorite Anime?

OPM is the only anime I watch. Being Japanese American and fem aligned means having. Not great associations with anime tbh.

17. Last Person You Cried In Front Of?

I honestly can’t remember the last time I cried in front of someone

WAIT YES I DO

It was November 23rd and my little cousin and I watched Over the Garden Wall. Both of us cried at the end.

18. Do You Collect Anything?

I have a knife collection and an old rock collection from when I was younger. I also unintentionally have a major makeup collection. My lipstick collection is borderline embarrassing. In my defense it started in 7th grade.

19. What Did You Have For Lunch?

I uh. I didn’t have lunch skfjhdsljfh

20. Do You Dance In The Car?

I do!

21. Favorite Animal?

Dude I fucking love crows.

22. Do You Watch The Olympics?

Some of them! My mom was really athletic growing up (as in one of those kids that plays a sport every season in high school), so she watches a lot of them. We tend to watch figure skating (which I know little about but have strong opinions on), gymnastics, synchronized swimming, track, and judo.

23. What Time Do You Usually Go To Bed?

Usually I’m in bed by 11 but I don’t go to sleep until 2am. Recently I’ve been getting to sleep at 7am.

24. Are You Wearing Makeup Right Now?

It is currently three in the morning so no akslkjsahd

25. Do You Prefer To Swim In A Pool Or The Ocean?

Ocean. I grew up in Northern California near the coast, and now I’m in a landlocked state. And you can kind of feel it, you know? The air doesn’t smell like salt and redwoods, the mountains aren’t there to hold up the sky so you just feel it pressing down on your chest. I miss the ocean.

26. Favorite Tumblr Blog?

I don’t know if I have a favorite. erikkillmongerdontpullout is funny and insightful, and I love dostoevskydocs’ poetry compilations.

27. Bottled Water Or Tap Water?

I grew up somewhere with access to really good tap water, so I’ll go with that.

28. What Makes You Happy?

Writing, spending time with friends, the feeling of dappled sunlight through the tree canopy.

29. Post A Gif Of What You’re Currently Feeling Right Now.

30. Do You Study Better With Or Without Music?

With :)

31. Dogs Or Cats?

Dogs but I love cats too!

32. If You Were A Crayon What Color Would You Be?

Moss green!

33. PlayStation Or Xbox.

Xbox.

34. Would You Swim In The Lake Or Ocean?

Ocean. I don’t trust lakes.

35. Do You Believe In Magic?

I believe in the supernatural, I don’t know if magic’s the right word. It’s more like a belief that there’s something more to the world than what we’re able to perceive.

36. What Color Shirt Are You Wearing?

Charcoal grey.

37. Can You Curl Your Tongue?

Yes! I can also make my tongue into a clover.

38. Do You Save Money Or Spend It?

A bit of both. I can be pretty frugal when I’m by myself but I inherited the need to pay for everything for my friends from my mom, so if my friends are around, I will try to muscle my way into paying for everything. This is usually unsuccessful bc my friends are in the same boat.

39. Is There Anything Pink Within 10 Feet Of You?

Yes. I’ve got a pink water bottle on my bedstand.

40. Do You Have Any Obsessions Right Now?

I mean. OPM lkjshdflkjdh I’ve been hyperfixating on it, but I also am pretty obsessed with OTGW (I have been for years).

41. Have You Ever Caught A Butterfly?

No but I’ve had a few land on me.

42. Are You Easily Influenced By Other People?

Depends on the person. Overall, I’d say no, but my friends have significant sway over me.

43. Do You Have Strange Dreams?

Yes.

44. Do You Like Going On Airplanes?

I actually do. But only for short flights. Anything longer than 4 hours makes my body really hurt.

45. Name One Movie That Made You Cry.

Moana.

46. Peanuts Or Sunflower Seeds?

Sunflower seeds!

47. If I Handed You A Concert Ticket Right Now, Who Would You Want The Performer To Be?

Orville Peck or Carseat Headrest.

48. Are You A Picky Eater?

Nope!

49. Are You A Heavy Sleeper?

Yeah.

50. Do You Fear Thunder/Lightning?

No, I actually love them. I sleep best when it’s thundering.

51. Do You Like To Read/Write?

Yes to both. I’m a Creative Writing major so dkljfhljkdf

52. Do You Like Your Music Loud?

Yeah! Though not as loud as some people, my ears are sensitive.

53. Would You Rather Carve Pumpkins Or Wrap Presents?

Wrap presents. I’m not a big fan of the smell of pumpkin, and wrapping presents is a tradition for my mom, brother and I. We’d put on some music, drink some hot chocolate, and wrap as many as possible. Then my brother and I would smuggle some wrapping paper to our rooms and wrap our mom’s gift.

54. Put Your Music On Shuffle, What Is The First Song That Came Up?

Somebody that I Used to Know-Gotye (listen the song still slaps)

55. What Season Are You In Right Now? (Weather)

Winter/Spring transition. It hailed for 15 minutes straight yesterday.

56. What Are You Craving Right Now?

A popeyes 5 piece spicy chicken meal with fries and ranch. Can you tell I’ve thought about this?

57. Post A Screenshot Of Your Tumblr Feed.

I don’t wanna.

58. What Is Your Gender?

Nonbinary, but vaguely girl adjacent.

59. Coffee Or Tea?

I think coffee. I drink more tea, but I also drink exclusively green tea and chai (like the traditional chai made with milk not the chai teabags) and I really am not a black/white/earl grey tea person.

60. Do You Have Any Homework Right Now? If So, What Is It About?

OOF Yeah I do

I’ve got a thousand word readers response to “The Other Boat” by E. M. Foster, a one thousand word journal about WWI, a reflective journal check in and a powerpoint I have to make for Sense and Sensibility for Brit Lit and I also am tutoring a few of my classmates

In my biological anthropology class I’ve got a Unit Exam and a few lectures to watch

For my internship/Teachers Assistant position I’ve got 17 10 page rough drafts to read and give in depth comments on as well as a portfolio I have to assemble for next year’s TA bc I’m transferring, phone meetings with the 17 students who wrote those rough drafts, and I’ve gotta compile some resources for my professor

I need to finish my memoir for my independent study and I have to present. my nonfiction memoir. to my classmates. on Zoom. I’m one of two people doing a nonfiction memoir for their independent study the rest are doing fiction, poetry or a literary analysis paper so like. My classmates are gonna be talking about their fiction piece and then I’m gonna be giving a 15 minute reading and Q&A about a piece that focuses on my trauma and being hate crimed so that’s fun.

I also gotta get some stuff done for my school’s lit magazine.

61. What Is Your Sexuality?

A known bisexual™

62. Do You Make Your Bed In The Morning?

I try to but I forget.

63. Favorite Pokémon?

Togepi, Blissey and Togekiss.

64. Favorite Social Media?

I hate to say it but it’s tumblr.

65. What’s Your Opinion On Instagram Stories?

If it’s longer than six stories, I’m not watching it. Unless I know they’re gonna be fun or we’re really close then I will.

66. Do You Get Homesick?

A bit. I’m still really homesick for my hometown tbh because that’s where all my family except for my parents are. I’m really close with my extended family, so being isolated from them feels like there’s an emptiness at my side.

67. Are You A Virgin?

No.

68. What Shampoo And Conditioner Are You Using Right Now?

Redken Frizz Dismiss. I got those big fucking bottles you can get at Ulta where it’s like a gallon of shampoo so I haven’t had to buy any in over a year.

69. If You Were Far From Home And Needed To Sleep For The Night, Would You Choose To Rent A Crappy Motel Room For $60 Or Sleep In Your Car For Free?

I’ve slept in my car before and I will do so again most likely. Also $60 is too much to spend for a motel room.

70. Are Both Of Your Blood Parents Still In Your Life?

Yes. Though I’m much closer to my mom than my dad.

71. Whats The Next Movie You Want To See In Theaters?

Idk shit about movies tbh.

72. Do You Miss Your Ex?

One of them yes, the others no. But the one I miss I also acknowledge is someone who had their place in my life at the time and helped me through some rough shit, but no longer has a place in my life. I appreciate the hell out of him though, and we’re on good terms.

73. What Is Your Favorite Quote Right Now?

I’ve got two!

“I don’t know how to stay tender with this much blood in my mouth” –Ophelia, Hamlet

and

"Suffering feels religious if you do it right." –Chelsea Hodson

74. What Eye Color Do You Find Sexiest?

Brown. Especially the almost black-brown eyes.

75. Did You Like Swinging As A Child? Do You Still Get Excited When You See A Swing Set?

Yes to both.

76. What Was The Last Thing You Ate?

Chocolate covered pretzels ljhflfsd

77. What Games Do You Have On Your Phone?

Toon Blast and 2048.

78. Would You Give A Homeless Person CPR If They Were Dying? Why Or Why Not?

Holy shit I hate this question. Yes, of course I would. I don’t know why mentioning that the person is homeless is relevant. Homeless people are not somehow less worthy of CPR?? What the fuck.

79. Been On The Computer For 5 Hours Straight?

...yes

80. Stalked Someone On A Social Network?

I’ve briefly skimmed over someone’s page after meeting them but I don’t lurk.

81. Do You Like Meeting New People?

Depends on my mood.

82. Do You Wear Rings? If You Do, Take A Picture Of Them.

I hate my hands so this was pushing it.

83. Do You Sleep With Your Bedroom Door Open Or Closed?

Closed.

84. What Are Three Things You Did Today?

Corrected papers, walked my dog, did some writing.

85. What Do You Wear To Bed?

T-shirt and shorts.

86. List All Of Your Different Beauty Products You Have Right Now.

Dude I can’t do that I have too many, I’ve been buying makeup for 7 years and I used to work next to a sephora

My makeup routine pre-rona was:

Sephora brand moisturizer

Milk Hydrogrip primer

Fenty Pro Filtr Hydrating Foundation

Maybelline Age Rewind Concealer

Anastasia Brow Definer

Glossier Cloud Paint

Fenty Sunstalkr Bronzer

Fenty Liquid Flyliner

Fenty Flypencil

Fenty Full Frontal Mascara

Fenty Glossbomb

It’s...an expensive routine.

87. Are You A Day Or Night Person?

Night to early morning.

88. List All Of Your Video Games On Your Phone, Console Etc.

I answered this one and I don’t want to reanswer it tbh ldkjfhds

89. Tell Me About A Dream That You Had And When It Happened.

I genuinely can’t remember any of my dreams right now. I remember a snippet of one where I was in a cave and I looked at the wall and I could see water running down it, reflecting in the torchlight but that’s literally it.

90. Favorite Soda Drink?

I’m a big pomegranate person, so Italian soda’s my go to.

91. What Sounds Are Your Favorite?

The sizzle of meat hitting a hot wok, rain, hail, thunder, the crunch of dry leaves. I also love the sound of Simone de Rochefort’s laugh. It’s so good.

92. Do You Wear Jeans Or Sweats More?

Jeans.

93. How Do You Look Right Now?

Shitty.

94. Name Something That Relaxes You.

Skyrim ldskjfhd

95. What Tattoo Do You Want?

I really want to get my family’s mon on my ribcage and my mom’s Japanese name somewhere. I don’t know how my pain tolerance is but if I can handle it, I’d want to get at least a partial sleeve.

96. Favorite YouTuber?

Polygon and Watcher.

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alien-origins · 5 years ago

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ok so I haven't been feeling that the arrangement/relationship was giving much bc it was a purely sexual thing and I was getting bored and low key disgusted.

and like when we met we both agreed for this to be no strings attached bc neither wanted a gf/bf. however I noticed like a year in he was catching feelings because he said "would you like to be exclusive?" and I asked what he meant and he said "that we only have sex with each other" and I said that I didn't know.

cut to like a few months later my sex drive goes down and I don't want to meet up bc it's just for sex and I tell him I'm not really wanting to do anything and he's like "oh but we can hang out still", but hanging out with him is literally sitting in his bed playing video games which isn't interesting or fun for me or watching a movie and have him dry hump me and tell me he wants me to which I get annoyed at because I EXPLICITLY said I didn't want to do anything.

and I also need to mention other things that annoyed me with him. every time in the morning I wanted to leave I always had to like come up with something like a "plan" so I had somewhere else to be and couldn't stay because dude I want to enjoy my weekend. and every time I was like "well o gotta go" and he said "it only takes 6 minutes to the train from here" but like I have smaller legs than you, want to have an extra 5 min in case and I HAVE ANXIETY which I've told him so I need extra time or I'll literally panic. so I almost missed the train several times because he would sometimes refuse to let me get up from bed and I was clearly annoyed at him like this isn't funny and idk why he thinks I'd want to miss my train bc then I'd have to wait 30 min for my bus.

time management. I'm the person that gets to class 20 min early. Gets up 2-3h before I need to leave the house and make sure I have n extra 20-30 min of I'm going to find a new place. this dude was more of a "few seconds before" type of person which gave me anxiety and just felt disrespectful of my time when HE decided time and then never managed to meet me in time. even if 90% of the time he just had to walk down to the lobby door of his apartment to get me on he'd be 10-15 min late.

however I think what was the breaking point for my tolerance was when we decided to watch captain marvel in theatres. I said I'd like to eat before and he was like "sounds good, the movie starts 21.30 so we can meet 20.35 and eat" and I'm like, weird time but okay. and I arrive 10 min early to the mall we're gonna eat at (where they also have the theatre) and I tell him I'm there. 20-30min later I get a text that says "I'll be a little late" and I'm like okaybim in the lobby. he comes through the doors 20 minutes before the movie starts and then is like "so what do you want to eat?" and I say "do we really have time for that" I'm annoyance and he's like sure we do and I'm like....sure....so we have Lebanese food but I can't eat quickly because of my anxiety and past ed so I eat half and put the rest of the shworma in my bag for later. then he wanted to go to another store to buy drinks with like 3 min left until it started. RIGHT OMG when we got there FORTY MINUTES LATE he wants to go say hi to a friend who works in a store there LIKE???!!???????

and onto kinks. he noticed me posting pics of kris wu sometimes going "omg daddy choke me😩😩" as we know I do, and he's like "you're into that?" and I'm like yea, thinking about choking. and then he asks about what I mean with daddy and I explain that's like "he's hot" it's a term used for hot men and he's like "you can call me daddy😏". and me, who only have like 5 names on my daddy list is laughing internally but I'm like whatever, sure.

next time I get to his house he asks me to call him daddy mid sex and I'm like ok??? and I do and there was nothing more to it. like 2-3 times later he goes full dd/lg and oh my gOd was it disturbing. he said stuff like "cum for daddy", "you have to keep quiet or your mom will hear" etc. and I said I didn't like talking during sex prior to this AAAAAND I TOLD HIM ABOUT MY VERY BAD RELATIONSHIP WITH MY DAD so this made me nauseous and I told him I didn't like talking like that during sex. i don't even remember his response but he did it like 2-3 more times before he stopped but like omg I felt so uncomfortable. he kept asking what kinks I had and I said I enjoy hair pulling, choking, being restrained and roughhoused but idk why he translated it into dd/lg.

I had told him vulnerable things about myself that he didn't understand like my anxiety, issues with my period pain, my relationship with my dad and some things about sugar babying. and he really thought he could fix all these things.

third thing. he sent me links to oils, meditation methods and other "natural" ways of getting rid of period pains. and I tell him thank you but if this worked I'd know already. and he's like "but it works for some" and I'm like I'm not saying it isn't, it's just the fact that I almost got immune to strong pain killers specifically made for cramps so rubbing some lavender oil on my vulva won't do shit boy.

fourth. I get that he was probably trying to be nice and give me compliments and I told him I was insecure about my tits because they're not that big. they're a size AA and A on food days I guess. but he said every time that my boobs had gotten bigger like, I'd have a F cup at this point if they actually were getting bigger and he noticed it every time. then however he started saying "your ass had gotten bigger" and it made me feel so selfcouncious. he KNEW about my ed and he KNEW I was still having issues with it so I don't understand why that comment was necessary???? I spiraled after hearing those comments and almost started dieting and skipping meals again because of those comments. and I know it's in and hot to have a big ass rn but o don't want one, love em on other people but I don't want one bc o feelnotd be disproportionate with my small chest and I already feel so uncomfortable sometimes with not being curvy and like it messes me up ......

and just being treated like a sex object in general. sure it was a sexual arrangement, but some respect please.....he would call me sexy even though I said I didn't like that comment bc I didn't see myself as sexy and didn't think it described me well (plus I look younger than I am so it makes me kind of uncomfortable). and saying only things about my body and how hot and sexy I am and it didn't make me feel good. ever. I don't think he ever complimented me on anything else but looks and it gets very boring after a while.

the end of it. as we know I'm in Korea rn studying and he knew this since months back and we hadn't talked since my bday in February and I avoided sc bc we almost only talked there but then I posted something and he replies around July/August and never stops writing even though I don't reply for 1-4 days. immature of me maybe but I was working a lot and didn't even think of replying bc it gave me anxiety to talk to him at this point.

then September. it's 1 month left until I leave and I have a LOT to fix before going and friends to say bye to. he says "can we meet this weekend" and I tell him I work weekends and I have other things to do almost every weekend up to when I leave and idk if I'll have time. he kept pushing again and again and I told him I didn't have time. then like a week left and he asks me to come over tonight and he knows I need to know these things I'm advance or I don't do it bc I'm not an impulsive person. and I tell him "honestly I don't think I will have the time to see you before I leave. I want to say bye to my close friends and my family" and he's like "wouldvevliked to see you one time before you leave though ://" butbi don't reply.

I talk to a few friends and they tell me to break it off but I only did it last week and BOY. I sent him a message on fb saying that I'm sorry but I don't think this kind of relationship works for me anymore, I'm not interested in it and won't be when I come back either probably and I say that I hope he understands. and he just replies "what kind of relationship is this?" and I say fwb at best. and he's like. .....well...I was hoping for more but I could sense you didn't want it.

LIKE!!!!!WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME SO WE BOTH DIDNT WASTE TIME OMG. LIKE HES AN ADULT. A FULL BLOWN ADULT. HES TURNING 30 NEXT YEAR.

but I tell him yea no I was never looking for that and we agreed on nothing more. and he's like "too bad liked your vibe" and I laughed out loud bc omg that's hilarious!!!! also fuck you. and I say sorry again and that I'm not looking for anything at all and he asks "why?" this dude has the audacity to ask WHY I don't want to suck his dick and I'm trying to be nice about it but I said "do I need more of an explanation than that I don't want to?" and he's like no, but hmu if you change your mind. he also said he wasn't looking for a normal relationship, he wanted something between fwb and a real relationship whatever that means and like ugh I'm so tired....

In conclusion I hate men and I removed him from sc and fb.

#looooooong post #rant #if you eant some tea on my fuckbuddy

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coreytaylr · 6 years ago

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do all the cat asks!!!!!!!

1. Name?- Pici and Mocsok

2. Fur color?- Pici is tricolor, Mocsi is tuxedo!!!

3. Any family you know (other than you)?- i dont know what this means tbh??

4. Age?- Pici is 2 yrs old, turning 3 in March and Mocsi is 4 yrs old, turning 5 in May (oh my god he’s so old!!)

5. Favorite toy?- neither of them really give a shit about toys no matter how many we buy them so :(

6. Nicknames?- i call Pici Babey or Picúr, and Mocsok’s nickname is Mocsi (or bastard)

7. Cinnamon roll or problematic fave?- both of them are both kjsdfksdjf like, i think Pici is the sweetest lady that ever existed, while everyone else thinks she’s the spawn of satan; and w Mocsi, its the other way around, i know the shit he’s done, but everyone else thinks he’s an angel

8. Length of fluff?- normal length for both of them i guess??

9. Any funny habits?- oh man ksjddf Pici likes to announce before she goes in the litterbox and does her business and its the funniest thing ksdjfdskf- Mocsi .. is just not the brightest cat to ever lived, so when he wants to go outside, he will stand in front of the door and meow and scratch at it, and if you open it for him, he doesnt go out but just stands there and stares.. and he just won’t move if you dont nudge him

10. How old were they when you met?- we got Mocsi when he was around 4-6 months old, and Pici has been w us since the day she was born (literally akjfsdf her mother was my cat too)

11. What does their food bowl look like?- they have three bowls: one for the dry food, one for Mocsi, which is a little bigger, blue bowl w a cat’s head drawn inside of it; and Pici just has a basic aluminium one

12. Indoor or outdoor cat?- Pici is a strictly indoor cat as of last year’s summer, Mocsi is kind of like a mix? he is allowed to be outside w/o a harness (i know i dont like it either), but he comes in at night

13. Recent picture?

14. Old picture?

(Pici was only a few months old here

15. Cuddly?- YES YES YES

16. Ever changed their name?- yeah actually, Pici started out as Maki (which means monkey, basically) bc her meows sounded like monkey noises??

18. Eye color?- they both have yellow eyes!

19. How do they express love for you?- they purr and come into my lap, or sleep beside me. Pici likes to stand on my laptop blocking the screen. Mocsi likes to headbutt me, almost breaking my nose

20. How do you express love for them?- i pet them and cuddle up to them, pick em up and hold them in my arms - just the usual

21. Any theories on what breed?- nah, nothing they are just typical house cats

22. Do they ever wake you up?- YEAH Mocsi almost suffocated me way back when, by trying to sleep on my face asdhfklsdf

23. How much do they meow?- Mocsi only meows when he wants food or wants to go outside, so not much. on the other hand, Pici is very vocal (and has an attitude too) and i really really like it !!!

24. Any hiding spots?- hm. not really? or maybe under the bed or table

25. Do they enjoy guests?- Mocsi LOVES new people!!!! he will make friends w everyone and anyone. Pici…not so much (same)

26. Lofty objects to sit on?- we have this huge ass wall-to-wall closet in the living room which is p tall, they like to sleep there. otherwise, they just like to sit on tables

27. Wear a collar?- nah not since Mocsi almost suffocated himself w one

28. How much shedding?- Mocsi is alright, but Pici is a disaster

29. Do they enjoy brushing?- no:((

30. Ever drink from the toilet?- no????, but Mocsi does like to sit on it when the lid is closed dont ask

31. How do they get your attention?- by meowing? but i literally always pay attention to them so

32. Embarrassing thing they’ve done?- Mocsi almost suffocating himself w a collar or running headfirst into the wall. Pici’s p graceful so idk

33. Weirdest thing they try to eat?- Mocsi really likes potatoes for some reason?? and Pici always tries to eat my food

34. Are they like your siblings, children, or friends?- THEY ARE MY BABIES

35. What time do they eat breakfast?- after i wake up, so it depends

36. Do you cut their nails?- we only cut Pici’s nails (when we remember it)

37. Do you think they understand you?- i dont think Mocsok knows anything about this world tbh but im like 99% sure Pici understands everything

38. Ever make fun of them?- oh yeah. a lot.

39. Do you take their picture often?- everytime im home

40. Ever hiss at you?- Pici did!! i tried to take away a bird she caught

41. Ever try to scratch or bite you?- yea, but its all fun and games

42. If you try to grab their paw, what do they do?- Mocsok doesnt give a flying fuck, Pici takes it away

44. Canned or dry food?- both

45. Weight?- Mocsi is 6 kgs, Pici is 2 kgs. according to google thats 13 lbs and and 4 lbs respectively

46. Ever got lost?- there were times when i was really worried bc Pici didnt come home in time, but they never got lost, no.

47. Do you buy them presents?- YES. just the other day i saw like, wine for pets?? and i really wanted to buy it but my mother didnt let me ://///

48. Do they respond when you call?- Pici does. im pretty sure Mocsok doesnt know what his name is

49. Do they ever see other cats?- yea. my brother has a cat too, so they usually see him, but who knows how many cats Mocsi sees when he’s outside

50. Declawed?- FUCK NO

51. Funniest expression?

52. Favorite place to be pet?- Pici likes it if you like….rub both sides of her face? and Mocsi likes chin scratches

54. Give them a head kiss.- next time i see them, i will !!!!!

55. What time of the year is most exciting for them?- i think its pretty neutral all throughout the year

56. Are they good at hunting real prey?- Pici was real good at it, she could catch birds mid-fly. Mocsok? nah.. he can barely eat his own food ksajfkdsf

57. Do they ever attack nothing?- attack? no. stare at it until i freak out? yeah

58. What are they doing right now?- idk im not at home :(( but its probably sleepy time

59. How long have you had them?- Mocsok for 3,5 years or so, and Pici, as ive said, has been w me since day 1

60. If you could have them stay as a kitten forever, would you?- i dont think so? i love them just the way they are

63. Have you ever stepped on their paw?- no but i did sit on both of theirs kasjkfsdf

64. Ever tripped you on stairs?- we dont have stairs so no

65. Any ear hair?- yeah!!! both of them have some

66. Favorite view from a window?- Pici just likes to spy the people who are on the street. Mocsi doesnt seem to know how to get to the window no matter how much he tries

67. Describe why they are precious.- i mean this whole post is basically about that kskdsf they are just goofy assholes who like to run around and fight each other. and sit/sleep on tables. and my laptop.

68. Fit the cat stereotype?- Pici definitely does. Mocsok is like a dog in a cat’s body tbh

69. Chaotic neutral?- 100%

70. Do they enjoy following/ keeping you company?- oh dude yes, i cant even shower w/o them scratching at the door

71. Are you their favorite human?- i am definitely Pici’s favorite, but not Mocsi’s :’(((((

72. Do they like tv?- awwwwwwwwwwwwwww Pici used to watch cartoons when she was little, then she started watching like animal planet documentaries about big cats!!! but she lost interest. now she just likes to watch the things i watch on yt (her favorite is jacksepticeye. even if she’s asleep, she will wake up if she hears his intro. she would also like come up to me and meow at jack akjsdkjdsf its so cute)

73. Favorite noise to make?- i mean…purring…hellooo

74. If they were a Neko Atsume cat, what would their momento be?- pass

#holy shit this was fun #i love them so much :((((((((((((((((((((#kriss.txt #ask #neidermeyersmind #long post #neidermeyers-mind #cats

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twerkhammett · 7 years ago

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1-154

Holy fuck, good thing I have a long train ride😂1. Full nameAngelica DeLillo2. Age213. 3 fearsFailure, getting snatched up one of these nights im on the train alone, losing the people i care about4. 3 things I loveNik, food, and our cat5. 4 turn onsBiting, slapping (ass face and tits), being tied up or held down, and when he gets that mean look on his face and i know hes gonna be really rough with me ugh6. 4 turn offsI have had these experiences with almost every person I've been with except Nik..bad hygiene, being rushed (you cum yet?), bad oral and when i tell them what would feel good they dont listen..and worst of all sex that feels half assed. They just want to cum real quick, theres no passion or effort, they don't care if they please you at all. Fucking horrible..7. My best friendIn cali my best friend here besides Nik is Ashley, and I get to live with them both its awesome! In Florida I cant choose one cuz ive known them all forever and love those dudes..Mels, Denzel, Brauston, and Alicia8. Sexual orientationBisexual9. My best first dateWith Nikolas obviously 😉10. How tall i am5'611. What do I missMy friends and family back home12: What time were I born3:55pm13: Favourite colorGreen14: Do I have a crushOn my boyfriend😂15: Favourite quoteIdk man16: Favourite placeHard to choose one, maybe my bed😂17: Favourite foodI hate favorites..pizza and wings18: Do I use sarcasmNever :)19: What am I listening to right nowSlayer 20: First thing I notice in new personIf they're fuckin rude or not21: Shoe size822: Eye colorBrown23: Hair colorLight brownish? Auburn?24: Favourite style of clothingBlack25: Ever done a prank call?Yup27: Meaning behind my URLKirk twerkin28: Favourite movieKung Fury29: Favourite songCant choose30: Favourite bandStill cant choose my dude31: How I feel right nowMeh32: Someone I loveNik33: My current relationship statusIn love af its disgusting34: My relationship with my parentsPretty good these days35: Favourite holidayHalloween36: Tattoos and piercing i haveNips, lips, and ears37: Tattoos and piercing i wantA lot, whenever i get the money..38: The reason I joined TumblrMels made me join lol39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?I don't think he hates me, but i hate his bitch ass..40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used to get them from Nik but we live together so now he can just tell me lol41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?This morning42: When did I last hold hands?Yesterday43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?15mins, its caffeinating myself that can take time44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days?Noooope45: Where am I right now?On BART46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?Nik, been a while since thats happened tho47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Loud48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Nope49: Am I excited for anything?For class to be over so i can relax lol...haven't even got there yet50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?Nik, Denzel, Brauston51: How often do I wear a fake smile?At work lmao52: When was the last time I hugged someone?Does my cat count? An hour ago lol53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?This would never happen, but I would go to jail if it did lol54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Not that i know of?55: What is something I disliked about today?Nik had to work early and I've been sexually frustrated af56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?James57: What do I think about most?Nik and food are tied i think58: What’s my strangest talent?Idk59: Do I have any strange phobias?Eh not really60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?Behind61: What was the last lie I told?Not sure, probably at work lol62: Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?On the phone63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Aliens yeah64: Do I believe in magic?Nah65: Do I believe in luck?Not really66: What’s the weather like right now?64 and clear skys67: What was the last book I’ve read?Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?Yesss69: Do I have any nicknames?Besides the ones Nik has for me no70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?Cut my knee open71: Do I spend money or save it?That shits gone pretty fast dont get to spend it on anything fun tho haha72: Can I touch my nose with a tounge?Nah73: Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me?My backpack has some pink on it74: Favourite animal?My cat😂75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Fucking76: What do I think is Satan’s last name is?Trump77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Nightcrawler78: How can you win my heart?Be Nikolas or James Hetfield79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Nothing80: What is my favorite word?Fuck81: My top 5 blogs on tumblrIdk man i like a lot of yall82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?Someone please assasinate the orange one83: Do I have any relatives in jail?Not that i know of84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?Invisibility or time travel85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?Not sure86: What is my current desktop picture?Some nature pic bc i havent change it87: Had sex?On a daily basis my dude88: Bought condoms?Yes89: Gotten pregnant?No90: Failed a class?Yup91: Kissed a boy?Yup92: Kissed a girl?Yep93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes, Nik94: Had job?Sadly95: Left the house without my wallet?Fucking yes!!!96: Bullied someone on the internet?No lol97: Had sex in public?A few days ago lmao98: Played on a sports team?Yep99: Smoked weed?This is where my extra money goes..sigh100: Did drugs?Nothing crazy but yeah101: Smoked cigarettes?Yes102: Drank alcohol?Yeah103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?Noo104: Been overweight?Nope105: Been underweight?Nope106: Been to a wedding?Yep107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?Yes lol108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?Yeah109: Been outside my home country?Not yet, but I plan on it110: Gotten my heart broken?Yeah couple years ago111: Been to a professional sports game?Yep112: Broken a bone?My finger lol113: Cut myself?A while ago114: Been to prom?Nope115: Been in airplane?Yes116: Fly by helicopter?No but I want to!!117: What concerts have I been to?Megadeth, Metallica, Exodus, Testament, Carcass, Slayer, Midnight, Kreator, Obituary, Children of Bodom, Rammstein, and a few more but those were the best ones118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Quite a few times119: Learned another language?Some German and some ASL120: Wore make up?I wear mascara121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yeah122: Had oral sex?Yupppppp123: Dyed my hair?Yes124: Voted in a presidential election?Yep!125: Rode in an ambulance?Nope126: Had a surgery?No127: Met someone famous?Nope128: Stalked someone on a social network?A while ago hahah129: Peed outside?Yep130: Been fishing?Yes131: Helped with charity?I donate to greenpeace monthly132: Been rejected by a crush?Sorta133: Broken a mirror?Im sure I have, I def had a big ass mirror fall on my fuckin head one time tho!134: What do I want for birthday?Some dick😂135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names?2 max, no idea about names, havent thought about it much136: Was I named after anyone?No137: Do I like my handwriting?Its a bit sloppy but yeah138: What was my favourite toy as a child?Barbies lol139: Favourite Tv Show?DBZ😂140: Where do I want to live when older?The forest, somewhere in Colorado maybe141: Play any musical instrument?Not well lol142: One of my scars, how did I get it?Accidentally stabbed myself at work143: Favourite pizza toping?Mushrooms144: Am I afraid of the dark?No, I need it to sleep145: Am I afraid of heights?A bit146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes lmao, many times by my dad usually147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Did you mean my last relationship😂😂148: What I’m really bad atProcrastination149: What my greatest achievments areGetting the fuck out of fl, some of my artwork, learning to cope with my depression150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meProb something my ex said lol151: What I’d do if I won in a lotteryQuit my job, build a house, and open a cave bar (me and Ashley were just talkin about that)152: What do I like about myselfWell i guess i never stop trying even tho i fuck up a lot hahah153: My closest Tumblr friend@stalkhome-sindrone probably😁154: Something I fantasise aboutA stable income...Thanks for that big ass ask my anonymous dude!!😂To the rest of my followers, sorry for the long post and some of the tmi questions😊

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goldenkiva · 5 years ago

Text

unfiltered rambling (this is a (long) vent post; cw for some irl death mentions, sui and self harm mention (nothing in reality), bad mental health time, all that jazz

well it’s 7:30 am and ive been awake since 4 am. which is an improvement really. i slept at 12:30am ish, in contrast to constantly sleeping at 8 am or later the past month or so. and it’s been taking a very bad toll on me lately mentally. everything has been building up and probably toyin’s death (yes the one who was found dead, we were classmates in middle/high school...) was my breaking point as i had a very bad panic attack a few days after. that lasted a good 22 hours before i fully calmed down. it always takes me 5-9 hours to calm down from anxiety or trauma related bad times as i have no real coping mechanisms and i will just literally do nothing but stay huddled up in bed until the unbearable feeling goes away. but that one. was just really bad. i think i also accidentally upset one of my best friends before that which also attributed to it (we’re fine now.) it’s been a bit since i had that panic attack but i still feel so bad all the time. sometimes i joke about wataru giving me chest pain bc i love him so much but i feel like i havent experienced physical emotion in so long i just want to feel it even if it’s painful. i dont self harm so dw about that btw. but i rarely shed even a single tear anymore when ive always been a total cry baby. i only cry full on tears and sobs now when im being over stimulated during a conversation. i just genuinely want to feel physically excited or happy or sad or whatever. i want to feel physical emotion again and not just numbness with an occasional laff or on the verge of getting watery eyes but not even real crying or whatever.

i also had to get a new phone bc my dumb clumsy self dropped my phone flat on the screen a second time and it was unrepairable which makes me sad bc i only had this phone for two years and it still ran perfectly well. i wanted to keep it for 3-4 years at least...i got a new one ordered yesterday and im splitting price with my dad n i just feel bad i had to get a new one at all bc because of covid and shit my parents are only getting half the usual business and we already dont make a ton. thankfully my parents and sister are the type to not spend recklessly in general (i am prob the biggest spender...) but that wont stop my dumb of ass generalized anxiety disorder from making me worry about bankruptcy or poverty or some other extreme. i hate it bc i cant do anything about these thoughts except just what feels like sitting in mud and i slowly sink in. i wish i was an artist with more clout because i desperately want to be have consistent (or any) income. even before covid i always feel bad about not having a job. ik it’s hard to balance school and work anyway so it’s fine if im not working but it sucks. american college is a scam. at least i didnt go to an art school. (well. i am in art program in college. but not going to an arts dedicated school like ringling. which is significantly more expensive. if i went to art school id be significantly more likely to end up in very heavy debt) but i hate having gad. i hate not having any real coping mechanisms. i feel frustrated and a little annoyed when i asked about coping mechanisms for my anxiety with my therapist she just told me breathing exercises. which ig can be valuable but ik in my heart this wont help me at all. perhaps it’s un-dx’d adhd with rsd making me feel that way that makes me refuse to even want to do them. all my medical and health issues are also a contribution to my gad and financial terrors. sometimes it makes me wanna die but i wont do that. bc my friends and family would genuinely be very heartbroken if i were to suddenly be gone especially if by my own hand. i wouldnt want anyone to blame themselves either...

the only things genuinely making me feel anything lately is wataru and buck tick. it almost makes me a little upset how little amount of things make me happy or even feel anything rn. im reading a tragedy visual novel rn (which is very good and well written and i generally like tragedies and i find them indulgent) that i am enjoying very much yet i feel barley anything while reading it. i immensely miss the buck tick concert streams so bad. watching them over the month and half they streamed every saturday morning really put how much they love making music and performing in a brand new light to me, and watching that last concert bestias locus solus was just. so amazing. i dont know how to talk about it other than i was genuinely touched. they went all out playing at that concert stage bc it was their first time performing there (at the time in their 31 year career, 33 this year) and the unplugged performances and sakura especially got me so hard. im not good with words so im not doing a good job at all expressing how much that concert (along with the day in question 2017) made me feel. i miss it. i want to buy the dvds so bad but theyre so expensive and now is not a time for reckless spending. but one day i will attain them and experience the happiness they bring me again. im sad my friends arent rly into them the same degree i am but ig it really is such a personalized feeling. i was already in a state of dread and depression when i got into the band. but im still glad my other friends enjoy them and tell me they enjoy their music. their stuff slaps. theyre just an amazing band. a band not restricted by genre. a band who makes music because they love it and love performing and love their fans and dont get warped in the ideas of fame or fortune, and are fully okay with being normal people...a band with the same line up since their pro debut in 1989 because the members all love and care about each other so much. theyre still going strong in their mid to late 50s as they were in their late teens. they make me so happy...

well it’s 8 am now and if youve read this whole thing, thanks i guess? that sounds rude, but im just kinda sittin in the mud. im still in the midst of cleaning my room. i am not someone to recklessly hurt myself or anything like that so dont worry about that. i’ll be fine. probably. if you wanna listen to buck tick heres their spotify :) i recommend their albums atom miraiha no. 09, no.0 (especially the live performance version), kuratta taiyo, darker than darkness style 1993, aku no hana, and their kemonotachi no yoru/rondo double single. they slap so good. also spotify is missing literally like 15 years worth of their music from the 00s-10s. you can find downloads online though. theyre also releasing a new single in august im very excited for it. also, the singer of the band (atsushi sakurai) did a collab with sheena ringo where he sung the bg vocals of her song elopers, which was also made in sakurai’s image and she got it really dead set on tbqh. sheena ringo loves bt so yall should too :)

#jack txt

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saramcclarinet · 7 years ago

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You should answer all of the last question post you reblogged :p

1. Think of the last person who said I love you, do you think they meant it?I'm assuming this means in a relationship way and if so, no. He took it back in the morning. 2. Would you date an 18-year-old at the age you are now?No3. When’s the last time you were aggravated and happy at the same time?This morning, working on my current novel. 4. Would you ever smile at a stranger?Yea lol do it all the time 5. Is there someone mad because you’re dating/talking to the person you are?Yea, one of my friends is not down with my current relationship. It's hard. 6. Have you heard a song that reminds you of someone today?Yep 7. What exactly are you wearing right now?Black jeans, ballet flats, and a tank top that says, "Yes, I speak clarinet" with some of the Mozart clarinet concerto printed under it. 8. How often do you listen to music?Almost constantly 9. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?Jeans10. Do you think your life will change dramatically before 2013?LOL 11. Are you a social or an antisocial person?I am both 12. Have you ever kissed someone whose name begins with the letter ‘A’?No 13. What about ‘R’?Nope 14. Can you drive a stick shift?No 15. Do you care if people talk badly about you?Honestly, depends on who it is. 16. Are you going out of town soon?I'm currently out of town actually. 17. When was the last time you cried?Last week, while writing something difficult. 18. Have you ever told someone you loved them?Yes! 19. If you could change your eye color, would you?Nope, my eye color is a very special shade of hazel and I love it. 20. Is there a boy who you would do absolutely everything for?No 21. Name something you dislike about the day you’re having.Hair dye smell 😂22. Is it cute when guys kiss you on your forehead?YES! 23. Are you dating the last person you talked to?Yes 24. What are you sitting on right now?Hair salon chair 25. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?Yes, my friends 26. Have you ever wanted someone you couldn’t have?Yea27. Who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed last night?My parents (I'm staying with them in california for thanksgiving) 28. Do you get a lot of colds?No 29. Where is the shirt you are wearing from?Online 30. Does anyone hate you?Idk 31. Do you have any empty alcohol bottles hidden somewhere in your room?No 32. Do you like watching scary movies?Yes 33. Do you want your tongue pierced?GOD NO I AM A CLARINETIST 34. If you had to delete one year of your life completely, which would it be?Probably 6th grade. That was a shit show. 35. Did you have a dream last night?Yes, it was awful. 36. When was the last time you told someone you loved them?This morning I told my parents I loved them. 37. Do you think you’ll be married in 5 years?Maybe? Honestly, how can ya tell? 38. Do you think someone has feelings for you?Lol I hope so. 39. Do you think someone is thinking about you right now?Probs not 40. Did you have a good day yesterday?I did! 41. Think back 2 months ago; were you in a relationship?Yes with @greystreet-endof-theworld 😘42. In the next 48 hours, will you hang out with a girl?Probably 43. Has anyone told you they don’t want to ever lose you?No 44. What’s the best part about school?I love all of the things I study! 45. Do you have any pictures on your Facebook?Yes46. Do you ever pass notes to your friends in school?Not anymore. I'm in college I just text them. 47. Do you replay things that have happened in your head?Yes oh lord 48. Were you single over the last summer?For about half of it 49. Is your life anything like it was two years ago?No lol 50. What are you supposed to be doing right now?Getting my hair dyed, which I'm doing. 51. Do you hate the last guy you had a conversation with?No, lol it was my boyfriend so if I hated him we'd have an issue. 😂52. Are you nice to everyone?I try to be, but no. 53. Have you ever liked someone you didn’t expect to?Yes54. Do you think you can last in a relationship for 6 months and not cheat?Yes!!!! I am a HOE for monogamy! 55. Are you good at hiding your feelings?LOL NO 56. Do you think you like someone?again, yes, the boyfriend™57. Have you kissed someone whose name starts with a ‘J’?Yes 58. Do you prefer to be friends with girls or boys?Girls 59. Has anyone of your friends ever seen you cry?All of them 60. Do you hate anyone?No 61. How’s your heart?Beating! Doin' it's job! 62. Is there something that happened in your past that you hate talking about?Yea 63. Have you ever cried over a guy?LOL yes!!! 64. Who is probably talking a load of crap about you right now?One of my friends and I are fighting so maybe her idk. 65. Are your toenails painted pink?No, red 66. Will your next kiss be a mistake?I hope not? 67. Girls love it when boyfriends cry; correct?I mean I don't LOVE it bc that means he's hurting, but that doesn't mean I'd mind at all if he cried in front of me. 68. Have your pants ever fallen down in public?No69. Who was the last person you were on the phone with?My brother 70. How do you look right now?Crazy! my hair is all foiled up71. Do you have someone you can be your complete self around?Yea72. Can you commit to one person?YES!!!!! I LOVE ME SOME MONOGAMY! 73. Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to?Yea 74. Have you ever felt replaced?Yes 75. Did you wake up cranky?No 76. Are you a jealous person?Lol sometimes 77. Are relationships ever worth it?Yea78. Anyone you’re giving up on?Mmmm 79. Currently wanting to see anyone?Yea80. Name something you have to do tomorrow?Practice 81. Last person you cried in front of?my friend 82. Is there someone you will never forget?Yea, lots of people 83. Do you think the person you have feelings for is protective of you?I don't know. I've never thought about it... Are you @greystreet-endof-theworld? 84. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?Probably having sex lol 💁🏻85. Are you over your past?Nope 86. Have you ever liked one of your best friends of the opposite sex?Yes87. Is there anyone you can tell EVERYTHING to?Yes88. If your first true love knocked on your door with apology and presents, would you accept?no, fuck that asshole89. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?I guess? 90. Have you ever liked someone who your friends hated?Yes91. Will you be in a relationship in 2 months?I hope so! 92. Is there anyone you know with the name Michael?Yea, I have an uncle named Michael93. Have you ever kissed a Matthew?No94. Were you in a relationship in January? How was it going?No 95. Were you happy with the person you liked in March?I didn't like anyone in March 96. Don’t tell me lies, is the last person you texted attractive?Yes 97. Who do you have texts from?Lots of ppl 98. If the person you like says they like someone else, what would you say?Ummm??? 99. Have you ever kissed someone older than you?Yea 100. Who’s in your profile picture with you?No one, tis just I 101. Ever kissed under fireworks?no 102. Has anybody ever given you butterflies?yes

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tiskycat · 7 years ago

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Question Tag Game

Answer 30 questions and tag 20 blogs you want to know better I might tag some folks at the end if I feel like it, but 20 is ridic.

1. Nicknames: Ce, Tisky, cat, etc.

2. Gender: Lady

3. Star Sign: Taurus

4. Height: 5′ 5 3/4″

5. Time: 9:19pm

6. Birthday: May 12

7. Favorite Bands: Still Ludo tbh

9. Song stuck in my head: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjfsM2Dkbf4 THIS SONG AND ONLY BC THERE IS THIS WEIRD-ASS LYRICS ABOUT THE GUY PUTTING PEPPERONIS ON HIS GIRL’S FACE AND CALLING HER “A CREATURE” AND NOW HE CAN’T HELP BUT THINK OF HER EVERY TIME HE’S EATIN PIZZA WHAT THE F U C K???????

10. Last movie I watched: Fuck idek. Probably the Godfather Part II, it’s the last one I remember watching anyway.

11. Last show I watched: Access Hollywood Live this morning after I woke up lmao

12. When did I create my blog: .....2010? I think. I do know I posted a selfie of me and @pointfiveasian at pride that year on here, so I tend to use that as the measuring stick lmao

13. What do I post/reblog: Whatever I feel like???

14. Last Thing I Googled: that song I tried to link y’all to for q #9

15. Other Blogs: @mahounekos is the only one I even try to upkeep these days, but I’ve been ignoring it a lot recently but I wanna get back on it bc I don’t wanna watch the tmm anime without liveblogging it at this point so. But I’m still pretty proud of @ask-michiru-kaioh even if it didn’t last v long before I had to give it up

16. Do I get asks: lmao almost never

17. Why I chose my URL: it’s a diminutive of my previous handle, tinystarkitten, which you can still find around the intertubes

18. Following: 257

19. Followers: 336.

20.Average hours of sleep: esjfghjgdahjas these days I’ve been pushing 10+ hrs and I HATE IT because I know I’m wasting the day but when u wake up pissed why NOT try to nap another ten minutes???? even if ends up being more like 30???????? Like four times???????

21. Lucky Number: 12

22. Instruments: I have a clarinet that sits between my bed and the wall, constantly taunting me over how I thought I was The Shit bc I could play it despite being one of the literally least popular kids in middle school

23. What am I’m wearing: A shirt my mom bought in puerto vallerta and some panties

24. Dream job: honestly????????? Fight me but I’ve wanted to be a stay-at-home-mom all my life so. My dream job is being a dedicated mother some day.

25. Dream trip: There are too many places I wanna go lmao. The world is so small but also so big wtf

26. Favorite food: Terriyaki chicken wings. Stop asking me this.

27. Nationality: ‘murikan Polak

28. Favorite song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2qgadSvNyU&list=RDk2qgadSvNyU

29. Last Book Read: Book? Like,a physical copy? Probably Neil Gaiman’s Norse Mythology book

30. Top three fictional universe I’d want to join: Pokemon (particularly 7th gen bc husbands & wives <3), BNHA (again....................... husbands and wives.............................), and Madoka Magica (to give me access to a QB to let me come up with a Cunning Wish that gives me access to said husbands and wives, but also the ability to fuck off without a trace the second I inevitably fuck things up lmaoooooooooooooooooooo)

I tag! @fabas-waifu @witch-of-the-ocean-deep @trelaney @asthekroflies @blackwatchelite @bunnyqueengrace @nekofye and anyone else who wants to!!!!

#Ce's diary posts #tag meme #timemachineyeah

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lafillederenard · 7 years ago

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all the questions!

Thank you, Kate! I’ve been going through these slowly for a while now. Here are the first 50 questions to the ask post found here: x

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

I pour more milk than is needed and feel wasteful when there’s milk leftover in the bowl. Sometimes I drink the milk and feel better. Usually I don’t even eat cereal though? I’m a wakey wakey eggs and bakey gal.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Love that crisp cold winter air! Sure would like to feel it sometime soon! Right now at school, it’s almost like I can feel the weather slowly shifting to cold winter air weather.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

I often just use scraps of paper that are handy. I’ll use a pen or pencil if I’m switching between reading and writing. And I’ve used my phone a couple of times.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I like really sweet and flavored drinks when going out for either. For coffee from scratch, I like to add a lot of creamer, preferably flavored.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

I used to be more so before. Now, not so much, but it has become a habit for me to smile with a closed mouth for pictures.

6: do you keep plants?

I try to, but it never seems to end well. 2 of my 4 succulents I had in my dorm room were stolen recently when I left them out. The other two I’ve been ignoring. I’m much better at taking care of my virtual plants on the app Viridi.

7: do you name your plants?

I’ve named a couple of my real plants, but I don’t really care to for the most part. Most of my plants in Viridi have a stupid meme name.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Music and writing. I haven’t been journaling as often as I used to, but I still consider it a big way I like to process my emotions: by writing down as much as I can.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

Yeah. I get self-conscious though, sometimes even when no one is around to hear.

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I like to sleep on my stomach, and can pretty much only fall asleep that way. But I sometimes switch to my side during the night.

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

I don’t know if I can think of anything specifically that actually really applies so I’m just gonna pick some stuff…. High school friends will probably laugh if I mention how we all agree I have pretty good aim with my vomit….and college friends, well they call me the Cheese-It Harpy. Friends, let me know if you’re reading this and you think of something else.

12: what’s your favorite planet?

I don’t have a favorite planet. I’m very appreciative of space and I know basic astrology with the planets, but somehow I just don’t have a fave.

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

I did my friend’s hair up pretty and she liked it and another friend liked it.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

It’s gonna have vines on the walls outside and there’s a courtyard maybe and the apartment will have yellow painted walls and the window will look out over the street and we’ll put up lots of string lights and small plants. I really want to make those tiny tiny gardens with the little benches in them and stuff. And the kitchen sink will usually have dishes in it bc I’m/we’re not people who wash our dishes right away. There will be original and purchased art on the walls.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

So apparently CalTech astronomers think there might be a big planet way out past Pluto, technically in our solar system.

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

UM I love all pasta but I will pick lasagna as my favorite almost all the time. I really love a baked ziti covered in mozzarella tho

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

So I don’t really want to dye my hair, but if I did, legit I would want it to be opalescent (silvery-white with pastel colors). Opals are my birthstone, and you bet that my hair would look like that if I was a Crystal Gem. But I don’t really think I’d be able to pull that off irl.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

So yeah, so my CV squad is always gonna remember me throwing up into the cup holder of the RENTAL car. My college friends…there’s probably so many but I’m blanking and can only think of when I spilled the cappuccino….or when I was tired and they put plastic lizards on my head and I got emotional bc I felt loved LOL. Idk help me out here guys Idk why I’m forgetting. I need to write down more of the things I do.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

I keep a writing journal at all times, and it’s basically a regular journal/diary where I write what happened, how I’m feeling.I also have a gratitude journal. I try to write in there as often as I can about things I am grateful for on that particular day, like compliments I may have received, or nice things that happened.

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

Brown. Almost everyone I’ve ever crushed on has had brown eyes. Brown eyes are beautiful!

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

Favorite bag??? I don’t use bags, lol. I got my backpack. I’m not terribly attached to it.

22: are you a morning person?

Nope! My sleep schedule may be really messed up, but either way, I love being up and doing things at night. I really like to take my time waking up in the morning; I’m pretty slow about it.

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

The thing I usually end up doing is bumming around the computer, tumblr and all. My favorite thing, though, would probably be to watch a really good movie or two, or to gather a pile of books and read through them all, like I used to do when I was little. I also really like to sleeeeeeep

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Not really. There are some things that I just don’t talk about with anyone.

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

I’ve broken into very few places. One of them is the toilet paper dispenser in the slightly scary bathroom downstairs in the campus center.

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

This is basically all my shoes, as I kinda just find one pair of shoes I really like, and wear them every day until they get destroyed. I really liked my San Antonio Shoes that I wore to band. Several people complimented me on them. They seemed to fit really great. They were some good shoes. If I ever have the money, I might buy another pair sometime. The pair I had were bought ridiculously under-priced at a thrift store.

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

I really like fruity gum. Fruit Stripe is my favorite chewing gum, but my favorite legit bubble-blowing bubblegum is the cotton candy bubblicious. It’s blue and super sugary and I have distinct memories of times when I chewed it, or wanted to be chewing it but was chewing something else, lol

28: sunrise or sunset?

Sunset is my favorite time. Since I do a lot at night, it’s not really a sad symbol of my day ending, but the night beginning. Whereas if I am seeing the sunrise, that probably means I’ve stayed up all night, which probably was questionably smart to do….

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

I have a friend who kisses my hand to show affection, and I think it’s really cute and nice.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

I’ve never had any bone-chilling moments — no ghosts, home intruders, etc. But I have been genuinely scared of whether or not me and my family would be okay.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

I don’t really like the look of fuzzy socks, but I like how it feels to go to sleep in them. I prefer not to wear socks to bed, but my feet get cold often and I can’t fall asleep if my feet are cold. I’ve got a growing collection of socks with foxes on them, but I kinda prefer to wear plain socks. I feel like it’s immature to wear colorful socks.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

I can’t recall anything exciting happening. We’ve gone out for food. Had a microwave macaroni party…

33: what’s your fave pastry?

Ooh. I can’t think of anything specific. I like stuff with cherries, or maybe like a cheese danish. I’m not picky!

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

When I was really little I had Silly Bear. He was purple or something, and wore a jester’s hat, I think. I used him to make my brother laugh for the first time. Then I had Maple the bunny. She was the most beautiful bunny, until we put her in the wash and then the dryer. Now, I have my fox. It doesn’t have a name, it’s just my fox. I’m sorry to say that my fox went in the dryer, too. My mom told me it would be okay, and it wasn’t. It’s fur is all messed up, but it’s still cute and I love it. Makes me wish I had kept Maple the bunny. And yeah, I sleep with my fox most nights.

35: do you like stationery and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

Ughhhh yeah my favorite is designer notebooks that are all pretty. Blank paper is enticing to me. I used to really like pencils that were colorful or had designs on them, too, but I’ve actually made the switch to pens now. I never thought I would switch to pens because I make so many mistakes, or I used to. I prefer my pens to be comfy and write nicely, rather than to look good. Pencils that write nice and dark are very important to me. But yeah I love stationery, and I always have to visit the stationery aisle whenever I go to the drugstore.

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

So lately, I think my mood has been sort of like Norah Jones or Corinne Bailey Rae. Kinda soft and sad, but nice. At least, that’s how I want my mood to be. Less the sad part though, just kinda soft and nice. Tryin not to stress out over finals.

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

Definitely messy, but an organized messy. I want to know where everything is, and I want to be able to function and move around in the room, but I love having little figurines and papers all over my desk and stuff.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Well, as an English major, I have many grammar pet peeves. I hate it when people put recyclables in the trash. I dunno what else…

39: what color do you wear the most?

I wear a lot of blue because it looks good on me. Matches my eyes. I am gaining an increasing number of maroon-/burgundy-colored clothes. I don’t like to wear gray clothes.

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

I don’t wear jewelry. Let me tell you about my Two Cats On a Couch instead. They’re made of painted wood; two cats, one striped, and one in some kind of clothing. They are on a red couch with white dots and yellow flowers. The cat in the clothes is me, and the other cat is someone to talk to. My mom found the cats at a thrift store and said she got them for me because she wanted me to always have someone to talk to. They were the last gift I ever received from her, as she gave them to me shortly before she passed away.

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

One of the last books I remember liking a lot is The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart. I read it about four years ago, and it was meant for a younger age group than mine even back then, but I remember it really resonating with me. It also totally hyped me up for a good test experience when I was about to take the SAT, because I read about the kids taking the test in the book right before I went to take the SAT, and it made me excited to rock a test.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

I wish I had a favorite shop, but I don’t get out much and I usually take things to go places. There are several coffee shops in the area, but the independent ones are kinda new and kinda less comfy, and more minimalist, at least from what I’ve noticed. I can tell you about Norm’s, though, because I could definitely say that it’s a favorite spot of mine. My larp club at college, AOKP, goes to Norm’s every other Thursday or so. We have this big table in the corner that we usually sit at. I steal crayons from the basket on the front counter. My friend once left a big pile of sand in the bathroom because she didn’t clean herself off before we left the beach. I’d say that Norm’s has become a special place for me.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

Alice, this one is you! The last time I really watched the stars, alone or not, was when we went to the beach to watch the sunrise. That was a good time.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

Thanksgiving break was emotionally rough for me, but there was one afternoon when everything seemed really pretty, and the sun was real good, and all the plants were good, almost like they were giving off a vibe, and I just sat outside for maybe an hour and wrote in my journal, and started to feel really calm and good. I don’t even remember what I was thinking about, I’d have to check in my journal. That time just felt really good, from what I remember.

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

I would say that I do try to intuit a lot of things, but I maybe have a hard time trusting myself or what I’m feeling. I’m trying to learn to recognize when I’m ignoring a feeling that is telling me to do or not to do something.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

I like this joke, cuz English: A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

I don’t think people should be eating balut (duck embryos), and I’m pretty sure the smell alone of coconut shrimp has the power to make me throw up in an instant.

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

I think it is the same. I just kinda always am afraid of, instead of a comfy life, being alone and not having money or food and not being okay. Especially the alone part.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

I really don’t buy or even use CDs anymore, since I was little. We didn’t have internet in the house when I was a kid, so all the music we listened to, we played on a boombox. It could do CDs and tapes. My mom had a small collection, and we rented a bunch of stuff from the public library. The sound on the boombox got messed up eventually, and by that time I had access to the internet, so now it’s streaming and Youtube.

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

I have a collection from, like, late elementary and middle school, of pencils that I used until they got really heckin small. I’m talking, you can barely write with the dang thing. One of these pencils is a colored pencil that is one of the best shades of my favorite color (neon orange) that I’ve ever seen.

#ask

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rainbow-galaxy-supernova · 7 years ago

Text

I got tagged!

Tagged by @manabingu :D

1) Name/nickname: Mimi, Rainbow, and/or Galaxy

2) Gender: female

3) Star sign: ARIES BABY

4) Height: 5’5

5) Hogwarts House: Ravenclaw

6) Favorite animal: HOW COULD YOU MAKE ME CHOOSE?! Okay well most of the time I pick dolphins, but I am also very fond of horses, owls, foxes, and bats.

7) Hours of sleep: 8-10 and I still wake up exhausted

8) Dogs or cats: Now you have gone too far! I have a dog and 4 possibly 5 cats, and right now our possible 5th cat is sleeping in my lap. He is my baby and I adore him, we were supposed to be fostering him but now the entire goddamn family has gotten attached even though none of us wanted another male cat bc they pee on everything but this guy is SO SWEET and we adore him and have invested a lot of time into him….what was the question again??

9) Number of blankets: At the moment 2, but the heat doesn’t work in my room so once winter hits I’ll have a third blanket, which is an electric blanket.

10) Dream trip: Idk man…a Disney extravaganza where I spend at least a week in each Disney theme park and then go on every single cruise they offer. I also really want to go to Japan and South Korea, and I want to go China and visit Beijing and Xi’an. I want to go to Egypt and see the pyramids, the Valley of Kings and Queens, and the museums. I want to go to Hawaii, the Grand Canyon, L.A., Chichen Itza, Alaska, and back to Australia to visit my bff.

11) Dream Job: Voicing Aoi in the Vrains dub.

12) Time: almost noon

13) Birthday: the third week of April

14) Favorite Bands: EXO, TVXQ/JYJ, Flower, E-Girls, SHINee, Seventeen, Oh My Girl, Laboum, WJSN, Gugudan, Super Junior, KARD, BTS, Prisin, Infinite, you get the point I’m K-Pop trash.

15) Favorite Solo Artists: JESSICA JUNG (THE PRINCESS OF K-POP), Kris Wu Yifan (the man of many names), Hyuna, Tiffany Hwang now that she left SM, Kim Jaejoong, and Kim Junsu

16) Song Stuck In My Head: Rainbow Candle by Flower and NOW I’M EMOTIONAL

17) Last Movie I Watched: fuck if I remember…I know I watched XXX Return of Xander Cage last month (In the words of my friend and her dad, “I didn’t know you liked Vin Diesel movies.” “It’s not a Vin Diesel movie it’s a KRIS WU MOVIE!”).

18) Last Show I Watched: Hmmm…what the fuck did I watch last night��well I had the news on before I went to bed…okay the last thing I actively watched was Destination Truth.

19) When Did I Create My Blog: this one was created in October 2015. My main blog was created in June 2011 GOOD GOD I’ve been here for 6.5 years?!

20) What Do I Post/Reblog: on my main blog, anything that tickles my fancy. Right now I’m in the Voltron void but it’s also heavy on the K-Pop. Here I stick to YGO, all series.

21) Last Thing I Googled: Nanairo Candle so I could answer number 16…no actually I had to google XXX bc I couldn’t remember how to spell Diesel WHOOPS.

22) Other Blogs: my main blog, my scan blog, and my Hirata Rina fan blog. And I have 2 URLs I’m holding onto but I’m not sharing them bc they are inactive TT

23) Do I Get Asks: Sure do! But I’m more likely to get messages.

24) Why I Choose My URL: Well when I decided to create a YGO blog I just stuck the word Rainbow in front of my main blog URL. And I chose “rainbow” because at first this blog was all about Spiritshipping and I feel like rainbows really represent that ship, and it should have been called rainbowshipping, but what am I going to do about it? As for Galaxy Supernova, I chose it after one of my favorite bops, Galaxy Supernova by GG before Jessica left and the group went to heck.

25) Following: 176

26) Followers: 223

27) Lucky Number: I…don’t really have one?

28) Favorite Instrument: Again, don’t really have one. I guess I really like the sound of pianos and violins.

29) What Am I Wearing: A lion king shirt and fuzzy pajama pants

30) Favorite Food: PIZZA

31) Nationality: German/French Canadian

32) Favorite Song: Hello by SHINee

33) Last Book Read: Meddling Kids by Edgar Cantero

34) Top Three Fictional Universes I’d Like To Join: The one where I speak fluent Japanese and become a member of AKB48, the one where Kim Jaejoong is in my Chinese class and forgets his textbook so he has to share mine and I get to rest my head on his shoulder, and the one where Bernie Sanders is president of the USA.

Those first two were dreams I had. Honestly as far as TV shows/books go I mostly watch/read things where dangerous shit is going down so no, I’m not going to wish myself into Voltron or even YGO where cards games can kill you. I guess it would be cool to live in a Harry Potter universe, you know after Voldemort hit the bricks, but if all technology goes haywire around magic then that universe can heck off I need my internet and iPod.

NO WAIT I GOT IT! I want to live in a Pokémon Go universe. Now that I can do.

I’m tagging: @checkurselfb4umachuwreckurself @aurasoulhikari @meru-chan12 and @angrybreadao3

#tag

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chickenfetus · 7 years ago

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all moongan

thank you for asking falen tbh i love u sm and i love doing these

omg is this ask for this ask meme i literally almost posted this along with the wrong ask fml

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk?

more cereal than mik because.. i dont eat cereal with milk……… i love the crunch

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

as someone who lives in a tropical country is that what its called idk we dont have seasons and it never gets lower than 25 degrees so yes that would be ideal

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books?

hrmmmmm… i just remember the page number?? or try to lmao if i dont remember i just skim through the pages and try to recognise where i left off

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

with at least 2 packets of sugar tbh…. i dont drink coffee

5: are you self-conscious of your smile?

omg story time i went 2 get my braces removed and the dentist wanted to take pics so he was like “smile with your teeth!” and i was like ok! but then he kept saying i wasnt doing it right lmao… guess whos never smiled b4… (me) so he told me 2 practice my smile lol i didnt answer the qn but ya,,, i am probably

6: do you keep plants?

i used 2 be very against plants… now theyre okay i guess i dont rly keep any

7: do you name your plants?

refer 2 6

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

art??? i havent drawn in awhile

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself?

no LOL

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

on my side!!!! i cant sleep on my back bc i gotta hug smth.. and my stomach is out of the qn

11: what’s an inner joke you have with your friends?

🅱️… and .. same brainwaves…. poor mans ____…. this is all from the shady hq im so sorry my other pals

12: what’s your favorite planet?

the moon for no real reason

13: what’s something that made you smile today?

hMMm, watching astro and mx perform??? and just being shady with bell lmao

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?

this… question,,,..so im thinking of a bright place with white walls and translucent curtains so the light call fill the (living) room perfectly and everythings really ??? sunny and shit idk its warm… the floor’s made of (fake?) wood and theres a small kitchen bc i cant cook and idk if my friend would be able to lol.. theres 2 bed rooms both are painfully small but it works.. theres one other room with a closet for clothes… the bathroom is just a shower, sink and toilet… theres no washing machine rip and ?? thats about it poor mens life

i watchd the like we used mv again and i realized ...... that is literally where i got this imagery from thanks the rose i love a relatable band

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is!

heres a fact (?) from me first: it rains diamonds on one planet ?? mecury maybe?? mars??? whomst.. this isnt even a fact its ,me trying to recall shit

ok real fact: There are thousands of other planets out there. sorry lads this website doesnt wanna have fun

16: what’s your favorite pasta dish?

is spaghetti bolognese a pasta dish

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair?

im chill with my current hair colour??? bc its brown sometimes idk shitty hair

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

i asked my irl friends (group name: panic support group) and this is what they said

K: everything

E: when u were one hour late (i dont remember this happening but i do know im always late but never for an hour past me wyd)

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it?

goDD i dont but i sure want to

20: what’s your favorite eye color?

this is strange but every eye colour is my favourite although ppl with two or more colours in their eyes are so cool

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces.

its just my school bag lmao i got it 4 years ago and i take it everywhere even if the event is “small” and they ask us to bring “smaller bags” ill bring my big ass school bag anyway it looks like this (i dont have to but linking stuff is so fun)

22: are you a morning person?

technically.???its the holidays but i still manage to get up before 10 (most of the time) and … even if i have like 5 hours of sleep i manage to feel awake really easily????

23: what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations?

tf i just use my phone lmao this is what ive been doing for like a month now… i could watch every vlive i havent watched yet, i could make video compilations i could practice my art but… even though im out of school im still procrastinating.. legends only

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

mmmm falens the closest to that

25: what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into?

my classroom

26: what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

white converse?? i have 2 get new ones every like 2 years since theyre also my school shoes and break easily….. other than those i have my blueblack converse too (i dont wear them as much so theyre still in one piece)

27: what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor?

i dont eat bubblegum bc im always afraid ill swallow it and die and im p sure its illegal here

28: sunrise or sunset?

sunset but i dont look outside enough for either

29: what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing?

hm……… with jen its when she sends me asks on anon despite it being super obvious like im not a Fan when my friends send me asks on anon bc sometimes i cant tell and i get a sense of false hope but w/ jen its okay but i know its her

with bell its when they reply to my keyboard smashes with their own keyboard smashes lmao and when they just??//?? say smth cute abt their faves (lately its been sanha thank u sh)

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

ya lmao when i have 2 sleep alone and its completely dark i have half a mind 2 believe some random supernatural being is out for me

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks.

hmM. socks are great i always wear them bc i wear shoes almost every time i go outside… i dont have any weird socks bc im Boring but i have 3 pkmn songs and 1 gudetama socks/.. bUT I DID buy my friend those socks with individual toe pockets… it was so funny when my other friend saw it she choked on her drink and almost spat it out. we laughed so hard we hit our heads against each other i love friendship.. i have 2 wear white socks for sch bc… aesthetic? god if i know lmao….. i only ever wear ankle socks bc….. socks any higher than that? cancelled.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

listen ive never stayed up later than like 1am ok maybe 2am??? but i was working on like a project that was due the next day for school with my groupmates (friends) so does that count lmao

33: what’s your fave pastry?

bread………. sugar donuts…….. i am Aware that thats not how u spell it but wtv

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

why does this ask so many qns in 1 qn……. i had a cat?? it had pink stripes and it didnt have a name bc i dont name my stuff… even my pokemon.. and yeah i still have it except its in a big dusty bag where all my other toys are kept

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often?

i kinda have to use stationary for school so ya.. p often is correct… pretty pens??? i dont rly see the point whoopS!!! in exams u can only use black or blue so

36: which band’s sound would fit your mood right now?

im listening 2 day6 so like day6

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean?

my room isnt even my room i just go there to sleep .. the place im always at is like a study area except its open?? so everyone can see me lol and . its not messy?? if u look at it from far but the shit on the desk and shelves are so fucking messy god i need to pack those

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

aLRIGHT LADS welcome 2 megans ted talk

(skip this if ur not fond of drama)

so something (refer to the song he said suits myday) happened with jae recently and ive seen fans trying to defend him by @ing him and saying that they love him which is fine - great even! but what i dont approve is how everyone’s basically forgotten about the whole matter because they had concerts so instead of @-ing him and asking him to explain himself, they tell him what a great concert it was which is also great bc their concerts are honestly amazing. basically my pet peeve is when ppl dismiss the problematic action of some people just bc they like them.

another thing is that there were some fans who started guilting others for wanting to drop day6 completely because of what jae did and in my opinion i think it is totally cool to want to drop a group if they did smth bad like??? its ur life???? u can choose who you want to like. what is not cool is pulling out all the good things the person has ever done in their entire life and try to remind others about the positive sides of the person. yes. they’re an encouraging person, etc. but that does not cancel out the bad things they’ve done until they explain/apologise. what is infuriating is just the manner some people took it?? they literally went ahead and tweeted shit like “would your parents drop you if you did smth wrong?” and “you’re seriously gonna drop someone whos been nothing been nice because of one incident?” yes. people will and you dont have any fucking right to stop them? so dont go pulling out receipts.

another thing. its also okay to want to stan the whole group even if someone has done smth problematic. like? to me youre cool if youre able to see and acknowledge the bad shit someone has done and still stand by their side while educating them at the same time its nice to have faith in your idols. however, i wont say much when your idols dont respond and/or respond in a way that shows absolutely no remorse. its cool if you want to support them too, despite that.

tldr; dont fucking excuse someone’s behaviour/action just because youre so far up their fucking ass. dont pull out shit from before either, be it good or bad. and lastly, its okay to want to drop/continue supporting them, its your life.

i just wanted to talk about this tbh,, it was nice to see a few mydays trying to urge jae to explain the whole situation but seeing as he still hasnt and couldve it really irks me :-/

okay update its been a day and i havent really thought about this but im kinda conflicted now bc jae still hasnt talked about the song and im probably just making a big deal out of smth that will never happen again but it really doesnt sit right with me knowing that jae recommended that song to his fans and said it suited mydays?? bc looking at the lyrics... i SURE hope not... idk i have neither forgiven or forgotten but he’s okay now.? i cant stay mad at someone for that long anyway ill never forgive him 4 it though lmao petty ppl only

another thing... jae’s still an amazing person to me with all the encouraging words he says to mydays but this one incident is just soOOOOO hrm and i did go off tangent with the question as usual lol

39: what color do you wear the most?

i wear a lot of colours tbh??? but bc its rly hot out ive just been wearing the same shirt every time i leave the house and its black so

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you?

i dont wear jewelry rip

41: what’s the last book you remember really, really loving?

challenger deep

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

hm,, ive only ever visited this coffee shop like more than once bc the girl i used 2 like showed it to me b4 like 2 years ago and it was nice i liked their mocha frappe and its cozy i guess??? sometimes i go there with friends to study/just eat but i havent gone in awhile.., its two stories and it has an open air sitting area too i prefer sitting inside bc the sun is a big no thanks.. the ceiling is kind of like?? going downward?? like the kind iin attics???? idk man it was nice

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with?

u cant see shit here sorry

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?

cant relate

45: do you trust your instincts a lot?

yea?? sometimes i just gotta bc my brain wont shut the fuck up

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

suddenly all of the puns i know have left my mind thanks @ me

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe?

vegetables

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

the dark and whats basically in it???? like ghosts zombies and shit u kno the scary shit

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought?

i like buying albums?? theres a CD in those so it counts lmao i bought sunrise by day6

50: what’s an odd thing you collect?

boxes??? like containers????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them?

boxy and letting go by day6

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

YOU KNOW I HAD TO DO IT TO THEM and oh worm

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them?

me: rocky.. ?????? from astro.. /?? no ive never heard of any of those and i saw the word horror so u wont hear abt those from me any time soon

54: who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

i literally havent been outside for 2 days

55: what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point?

be petty aka yesterday i changed my twitter icon from jae 2 brian bc jae’s being a child rn so hes out

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

when they ramble abt smth they like thanksk buds

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics?

is this the song from p!atd i have it in my playlist lmao oh i fucing hate this song i always skip it im not listening

58: who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

idk what either of those are but bell and boxy

59: what’s your favorite myth?

idk any

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

anything that eunwoo has ever written

61: what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received?

ive given eggs for karissa’s birthday b4 and i got a kermit its not stupid tho its just the closest thign i could think of

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

i drink water juice everyday every minute every hour

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be?

my books are all in shelves lads i just heard the fucking keys rattle im not doing this shit im logging off night

ok day 3 and im back like i said previously my books are on shelves i tried rearranging them by series b4 but my housekeeper rearrnaged them randomly the next day so i gave up

i make playlists for songs that i like, really like (i still skip them sometimes rip) and songs that my friend recommends me i have a seperate playlist for the songs i like in japanese 2

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

light blue?? like its actually p white bc its cloudy

65: is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with?

m not rly

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

just. leaves maybe??

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel?

Horror Movie

68: what’s winter like where you live?

oh winter is fucking fantastic it never gets colder than 25 degrees celsius here and if it does rain it lasts for like 10 minutes

69: what are your favorite board games?

i used to rly like snake and ladders and monopoly :-o

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

im not ready for that kinda death

71: what’s your favorite kind of tea?

english breakfast or earl gray??? those r like the standard right

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it?

ya but i never do bc i either forget to or am just 2 lazy

73: what are some of your worst habits?

being lazy + procrastinating :-D

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

okie :-o ..

they’re great ok ive talked abt them like 10 times in the span of 2 months but whatever folks

they’re super nice, kind and just all of the positive adjectives out there in the dictionary ...... they’ve helped me multiple times and they’re always there 2 lend me a listening ear (or in our case, eye lmao) idk??? im just super comfortable around them always and im honestly so thankful we became mutuals (and subsequently friends) last year!!!! i cant say a lot bc ill just get v repetitive but overall they’re an awesome friend and im glad we still communicate daily via twitter and sometimes our skype sessions even if they’re kinda awkward bc i never know when 2 talk bc im scared ill speak and theyll say smth and itll turn into a MESS which actually happened lmao

im looking forward to the day our skype sessions become super smooth and easy going!!!

75: tell us about your pets!

i have none but id die for boxys cats

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t?

well yeah always tbh but its not smth i have to do but more like want to do im just 2 lazy to get around doing it

77: pink or yellow lemonade?

?? i almost said lemons arent pink but i Remembered...... yellow lemonade

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

i feel like this is an Attack? okay LISTEN so story time again.

on the flight back from japan i watched the alien covenant and i couldnt even get past the scene where the baby alien was gonna kill the poor guy who ended up being locked up with the infected dude as soon as i saw the blood and the alien emerge from the guy’s back i bolted lmao

so to calm myself down nd block that memory from my mind i went ahead and watched despicable me 3.. which HONESTLY im the worst critic ever but in my humble opinion.... the movie was good????????? idk i didnt watch minions the movie though i got lazy again whooopS!

anwyay i sidetracked but im neutral im not a fan but i wouldnt go out of my way to call minions annoying?? bc they really arent? i feel like its only seen that way bc of how people make posts abt how annoying minions are even tho.. they arent??

79: what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you?

my memory hates me so every specific thing my friends have ever done for me has left my mind but .

the cutest thing? everything my friends do for me

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

theyre yellow and no i didnt theyve been there ever since i could remember

81: describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of.

lava cake

82: are/were you good in school?

yeah i was good in school for like the first three years and this year i just flopped so badly lmao and its my important year too oh well my exams r over and i still dont have a backup plan in mind

83: what’s some of your favorite album art?

all of dance gavin dance’s albums have awesome art

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

back when i was really into 5sos i thought of getting a tally since that was their logo at that time but now no not really unless i decide to get lance’s face tattooed onto my forehead on impulse

85: do you read comics? what are your faves?

im keeping up with hq, bnha and tg manga!!!!

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

idk what those r but sure

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives?

big hero 6

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

who wrote this whats up with these questions

i googled and.. not really?? they all look nice

89: are you close to your parents?

close enough to stand being in the same room as them but not close enough to want to initiate conversations

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

tokyo was really cool (literally) and if i ever go again id love to go with friends so we can explore more??

91: where do you plan on traveling this year?

japan was supposed to be the only plan for this year but my grandad passed away so i had to go to malaysia multiple times earlier this year ik this wasnt the qn but ive already went to the planned destination tm so

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

BARELY SPRINKLES A PINCH im anti cheese

93: what’s the hairstyle you wear the most?

um. like?? i tie the sides of my hair that cover my face back??? bc i dont like hair in my face

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

bell

95: what are your plans for this weekend?

hopefully something useful

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot?

i also click remind me tomorrow lmao

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house?

infp-t, capricorn, hufflepuff (same as falen nd jen yay)

98: when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

uh ive never been hiking and i dont plan on it sorry body

99: list some five (or id never shut up) songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them.

currently......

when you love someone - day6

like we used to - the rose

crazy sexy cool - astro

death of a strawberry - dance gavin dance

if it means a lot to you - a day to remember

idk if these actually “resonate to my soul” they just sound nice

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

oh worm.. i wouldnt miind either???

i know i have 2 choose but like

if i go back into the past i could be less annoying?? but the past has actually helped me be the way i am today and i think im learning to be a better person?? im definitely way better than how i was previously 5 years ago and im just grateful i was able to learn from my mistakes???

so i wouldnt go back to the past.

if its in the future i can see how ill end up and if its not good i might end up being able to change myself so i dont get my “bad end”..???? maybe or i can just see what happens in the future and i can look forward to it

itll also give me a chnace to have the most fun while i can if its not too nice

so my decision is to go to the future

thank you so much for asking falen god this got so long lmao

#if anybody read through all 100.. thank u and have a good day!!!#softshouyous #asks

2 notes · View notes

professor-abeloved · 7 years ago

Note

About the JakeXMC 50 OTP Things, can u do all of them? Well, that is, if u don't mind.... 😊

50 OTP THINGS

ty anon for ur mc/jake thirst patience :> as well as the fact ur helping me sate MY mc/jake thirst HAHAHA

using my mc eli de loyola!

1. Who is the early bird/ Who is the night owl?

eli’s the early birdie while jake is the night owl ! most days eli will wake up at 7 am (wtf) and slightly rouses jake who clings to him as much as possible. eli spends a few minutes carding his hands through jake’s hair (partly because it soothes jake and partly because he has a thing for running his fingers through jake’s hair) before actually getting up

2. Who is the big spoon/ Who is the little spoon?

jake’s the big spoon! despite being shorter HAHA its so cute

3. Who hogs the cover/ Who loves to cuddle?

jake both hogs the covers and loves to cuddle HAHA survival instincts kasi. eli doesnt mind bc he feels warm in jake’s arms anyway

4. Who wakes the other one up with kisses?

eli does! jake loves it… altho he’s been a lil wary every since he once woke up to eli’s dog licking his face instead aekjfsdajl he was so embarrassed

5. Who usually has nightmares?

jake used to having nightmares about his time in the army + about mike p frequently but at this point he says he’s learnt to deal with them :( having eli nearby to calm him down helps a lot. plus i like to think that lundrugen (?? whatever he’s irrelevant) +co go to jail and this helps jake sleep better…

eli on the other hand dissociates a lot after the events of la huerta and frequently has nightmares of his friends dying. jake stays up and helps him call everyone one by one to make sure they’re all okay

6. Who would have really deep emotional thoughts at the middle of the night/ Who would have them in the middle of the day?

jake has them during the night, eli during the day

7. Who sweats the small stuff?

jake secretly does & eli thinks it’s cute

8. Who sleeps in their underwear (or naked)/ Who sleeps in their pajamas?

tbh jake would totes sleep in his birthday suit (which is why he hogs the blankets bc he’s the type to feel v hot at first only to freeze later on) and eli sleeps in pajamas. altho eli makes jake wear pants when they sleep in the same bed

(jake argues that he’s “going to end up losing those pants anyway so whats the point”

and eli lightly shoves his smirking face away like “binch no i for one plan to get some sleep tonight”

“that wont be the only thing ur getting ;)”

“jaCOB LUCAS CAN U NOT I HAVE AN INTERVIEW TOMORROW”)

9. Who makes the coffee (or tea)?

eli makes tea for jake who initially didn’t like it but found that it calms him down (especially after nightmares)

10. Who likes sweet/ Who likes sour?

eli likes it sweet while jake likes sour more lol

11. Who likes horror movies/ Who likes romance movies?

eh i dont think they like horror movies OR romance though jake’s a fan of action movies & eli likes superheroes so they compromise on that. maybe somedays they curl up on the hammock and watch a romance movie bc they’re too lazy to get the remote. jake makes fun of it only to feel emotional at the end when the love interest dies lol

12. Who is smol/ Who is tol?

jakey’s smol, eli’s tol hehe

13. Who is considered the scaredy cat?

neither? jake reacts to the situations accordingly and is almost never shookt while eli is generally sensible and level-headed

14. Who kills the spiders?

eli stomps on it / hits it with his prosthetic HAHA

15. Who is scared of the dark?

neither.

16. Who is scared of thunderstorms?

neither. eli has a weird fondness for them bc they remind him of the time jake saved them from the weird lightning storm in chapter 1 hehe

17. Who works/ Who stays at home?

i hc that they both work after the events of la huerta

18. Who is a cat person/ Who is a dog person?

eli’s a dog person while jake is a wolf person (LOL) and they do get a dog at one point

19. Who loves to call the other one cute names?

uh idk if it’s cute per se but jake calls eli “boy scout”, “darling”, “babe” and stuff like that while eli calls him… “hotness”. that’s the best he’s got really.

20. Who is dominant/ Who is submissive?

ahsdjsak it’s a big thing for them to fight for dominance but more often than not jake ends up on top

21. Who has an obsession (over anything)?

eli has an obssessing with collecting (like collecting clues and idols HAHA) trinkets

22. Who goes all out for Valentine’s Day?

eli would!! jake would be touched by all the effort awww

23. Who asks who out on the first date?

from eli’s perspective he’s the one who asked jake out on a normal date in a coffeeshop while jake thinks he made the first move by asking eli to ride with him on a plane (loaned by rourke industries where aleister is the boss now and just let me live with these post la huerta hcs okay)

24. Who is the talker/ Who is the listener?

they’re pretty equal in this regard, though jake marvels at how he can open up to eli because eli’s such a good, attentive listener

25. Who wears the other ones clothes?

eli wears jake’s jacket (which fits him p snugly) and jake is like “o shit it looks so good on him”

26. Who likes to eat healthy/ Who loves junk food?

jake eats junk food/whatever’s on hand while eli tries (emphasis on tries) to stir them to heathier diets

27. Who takes a long shower/ Who sings in the shower?

eli takes a longer shower because he likes to belt out hayley rose songs. jake hears and teases em though the door about finishing up his lil concert (because he likes to rile eli up. he’s actually v amused by the singing.) eli replies with a classic “why dont you come here and make me” and then jake enters the bathroom and the rest as they say is history ;)

28. Who is the book worm?

neither tbh they don’t read (heh) as the bookworm types

29. Who is the better cook?

eli haha jake has no patience with cooking

30. Who likes long walks on the beach?

eli def!

31. Who is more affectionate?

eli shows more affection while jake craves it more fkdsjnd

32. Who likes to have really long (deep) conversation?

oh man jake says he doesn’t like long deep convos but there’s something about eli that gets him to open up and eli likes to be there for jake as much as possible

33. Who would wear “not guilty” t-shirt/ Who would wear “sin” t-shirt?

oh man eli makes jake wear “not guilty” b/c yo jake is totally innocent!! while jake makes eli wear “sin” because damn does he think that eli is sexy as hell

34. Who would wear “if lost return to…” t-shirt/ Who would wear “I am…” t-shirt?

jake wears “if lost, return to eli” while eli wears “i am eli” bc his lone wolf is prone to wandering off (but jake always returns to him

35. Who goes overboard on the holidays?

eli’s aunt HAHA who invites em over for the holidays once she’s cool with jake

36. Who is the social media addict?

ehhh neither like eli spends the normal amount of time on social media tho he posts a lot of group pics since he’s an extravert ahaha

37. Height difference or age difference?

uh both? eli’s taller and jake’s older if i remember right

38. Who likes to star gaze?

eli

39. Who buys cereal for the prize inside?

eliii the prize is a toy plane he gets for jake awww

40. Who is the fun parent/ Who is the responsible parent?

surprisingly jake is responsible parent and eli is the fun one

41. Who cries during sad movies?

jake gets emotional during romcoms when the LI dies jfkndks

42. Who is the neat freak?

uh jake has an organized “system” but it only makes sense to him while eli is just. no. just no. he’s not rachel from the freshman/sophomore level bad but he is not organized either

43. Who wins the stuffed animals at the carnival for the other one?

jake does hehe

44. Who is active/ Who is lazy?

eli’s active and more into health stuff while jake is lazy

45. Who is more likely to get drunk?

eli has a lower tolerance HAHA

46. Who has the longer food order?

eli haha he’s more conscientious with food stuff

47. Who has the more complex coffee order?

jake bc i find it funny HAHAHA

48. Who loses stuff?

eli bc he’s a mess

49. Who is the driver/ Who is the passenger?

jake drives & eli rides (;D ;D ;D)

50. Who is the hopeless romantic?

neither. jake is v cynical while eli is saks lang. more hopeful than most, but definitely not naive by any standards

#mc x jake #jake mckenzie #endless summer #playchoices #choices: stories you play #male mc x jake #elijake #eli de loyola

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