#Going through the books its insane how much every character has grown in such tragic ways

[nex-kyit]

Finished reading Dungeon Crawler Carl. Man.....

Bonus Donut sketch below + some rambling that I don't think is worth its own post.

Finally, after all this time my years and years of drawing warrior cats is finally coming into use. Hm, I'm still not sure how I feel about Donut in the first piece, was looking at the wiki and it turns out shes black, orange AND white. Ah well, not used to drawing Persians, but I'm statisfied with this as my first attempt. Hardest part is getting the expression. When making WC art, I tend to anthropomorphise the face for expressions, but I tried to go a bit more realistic here. Not sure if it worked well here or not. As for Carl... yes I know he's missing a tatoo or two. I'm on Donut's side here, he has way too many.

[flydotnet]

Shuichi Saihara and the Mystery of the Neverending Melody

Summary: Ever since he was a child, Shuichi has heard the same melody, an experience he didn't share with anybody. This is the story of how and when he found out why it was. 

Fandom: Danganronpa V3 (AU) Ship: Saimatsu/Saiede/Saiaka/y’know the drill

Wordcount: 3.2K words

Notes: Once upon a time not too along ago, in a place not so far away... My giftee was (unknown to me, due to the rules of the exchange) @xoxorandomfangirl! Glad we could rejoice in some good ol’ Saimatsus. This is... a weird trip. It's a soulmate AU with a twist! God, the plot barely makes sense in this story, it's a disaster and a half haha. I hope both aren't too out of character, that'd be super embarrassing, especially with some of my ~veteran experience~. Anyway! As I expected, I had... more or less zero idea who this would be for, so I went wild and, as a result, this story is... weird and I guess kind of impersonal? I still hope you like it pal! 

Written for the @saimatsugiftexchange

AO3 version available here.

--------------------------------

It first began when he was a little boy. After his parents (or, rather, their butler or maid) would have left his room, Shuichi would hear the serene notes of a piano in his now quiet room. He used to believe it was someone playing said instrument in a nearby room: after all, his mother owned a piano, a family heritage he had been told by the family’s most loyal butler, she could have very well been playing it, or asked someone else to do so for her husband or herself. Truth be told, Shuichi didn’t know much about his own house.

He never mentioned to his parents, or anyone for that matter. He was afraid of not getting believed. He had read somewhere before that, sometimes, you were just cursed to hear the same music over and over again for the remainder of your life until you’d find the one true way to break the curse and liberate your soul from going insane from the repetitiveness of it all and the loneliness it’d bring upon you. Again, Shuichi was but a little boy, and he was afraid of the curse too, more than he had ever been about the darkness of the night. Maybe that, if he ignored the song, it’d just go away… He figured he had grown out of believing such mythos, like the existence of the tooth fairy, of the soulmates his parents claimed to be in front of the cameras, and the curse of some piano music stalking him.

 He wasn’t weirded out by the myths, despite how much he’d hear about them and the number of stories he’d end up collecting in his mind with time. When he was a child, his parents would buy him a lot of story-focused books with urban legends like these plastered all over the pages. He’d watch, like every kid his age, series and movies about sirens, fairies, werewolves, vampires, soulmates with specific birthmarks, mermaids and haunting music. They usually ended well, turning darker as he got older and got to watch more grotesque content. The happy siren marrying the sailor she had first enchanted had become a tragic, death-riddled version of itself.

Shuichi didn’t believe a lot of them, despite hearing the music. Someone at school once told him it was someone searching after him and, when they’d get close to him, he’d hear the music. While she thought it was his Princess Charming searching for her beloved, he only found it creepy to think about: it was essentially being followed around your entire life until someone, possibly with malicious intent, would find you. How was that supposed to be reassuring?

 Speaking of the never-ending song, it got eerie when he’d start hearing it again when he was a teen. He had moved places entirely: to keep up with the demand for their services, his parents were mostly overseas, or at least far from home, and he had since moved in with his uncle Shinichi and the latter’s wife. Neither of them owned a piano, there was no such instrument in their house. If he let his soul get too carried away in its first instincts, he could almost feel the crescent-shaped mark on his chest itch.

Still, there was a rational explanation to that mysterious phenomenon, as there’s always been to various other enigmatic occurrences. When he absentmindedly mentioned this fact to his uncle and aunt, Auntie Ran mentioned that their neighbours had a son around Shuichi’s age who played the piano. It may have been this guy all along, so he shook the idea of being haunted or cursed away. There was always rationality to everything in life. There wasn’t anything to worry about…

 …that was, until he’d start hearing the melody where there was no piano nor the possibility of someone playing it, and especially in times where he shouldn’t have heard it.

He figured he’d just play it in his mind to soothe his own soul when finding himself in dire situations. When he was very sick and seeing things that weren’t, when he was about to fall, only for something to retain his body before it’d break itself, when the car he was in almost got hit by another. The serene melody would always play, albeit quicker than before, and he’d feel better or get out of the situation safe and sound. It must have only been him but, deep down, a part of his sceptic mind was thankful for it…

 A part of his brain couldn’t compute anymore when, on an urbex trip with his best friend, the serene music reached his ears. Around them, nothing but the rests of life that once was: they were in the middle of an abandoned hospital, torchlights in their bags, a camera in his hands. Kaito noticed something was bothering him, so he immediately popped the question to the latter, making Shuichi feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment. With how rational Kaito was despite his silly appearance, he’d surely never believe him. Still, he owed his friend the truth, so he went for it anyway. While Kaito didn’t outright laugh at his face, his eyebrows still twitched in disbelief. He then proposed the idea that there could have been a piano in the premise, just well hidden and, while that wouldn’t make too much sense, nothing was impossible in urbex. Someone could have brought their instrument with them, or put in a wireless speaker to play with the visitors. It wouldn’t have been his first time seeing that happen, at least.

In the end, there was no piano in the old hospital, nobody else but them, and they found no speaker, even with Kaito’s best efforts. They both decided to believe they just hadn’t seen it. It could have been hidden in some rubble, after all, leaving shortly thereafter.

Little did they know that, by trying to follow the music, they had avoided an unfortunate encounter with a murderer hiding behind the rubble of what had once been.

 Still, the phenomenon kept on. It didn’t scare him in the slightest when he was staying over at his uncle’s, finding himself get soothed by the serene notes played by his neighbour. It didn’t scare him when he was sleeping over at Kaito’s grandparents’ place. In fact, he wasn’t scared of it whenever he was with someone else, because, even if they didn’t know what he was talking about and didn’t hear the music, they helped him rationalize it. He must have had a sensible hearing, like his mother apparently was. She’d sing for her own scenes; he must have inherited something from her except for his long eyelashes and slender figure.

The melody would actually change every time he heard it. It’d be subtle differences he’d notice more and more: an octave higher, an octave lower. It must have been him, but it’d differ depending on his mood. If he was sad, he’d hear solemn, yet optimistic notes. If he was trying to focus, it’d subdue and become background noise. If he was happy, it’d hear triumphant sounds. If he was embarrassed, the air would be comical and he’d feel easier, encouraged to take it easy. Hiding in some bathroom stall had never felt this comfortable.

 Now, the issue rose its head when he also realized he was always the only one to hear it in the unlikeliest place. The moment he realized that fact turned his entire life upside down: he was all alone in one of his family’s secondary residences, enjoying some time separated from the rest of the world during the holidays, without a butler nor a maid. Just him, all on his own, with the sound of his footsteps echoing through the empty corridors. For how weird it seemed to literally anyone around him, Shuichi took great pleasure in some voluntary solitude. Someone like him just needed moments where he could cool down from how heavy socialization could get.

Alas, he wasn’t all alone in this villa: the piano was playing. Haunted and anxious at the idea that a burglar could have step foot there, Shuichi braced himself and started making his way to the music room of the house, just to make sure it was just all in his mind again. He let himself get guided by the notes: the louder the calm symphony was, the closer he felt to the source. For a burglar, they sure were a gentleman to only play the piano instead of robbing the place out of its fairly pricey electronics and other luxurious expenses. His parents weren’t materialistic people to begin with anyway.

 Bracing himself one last time, he breathed in and out, and proceeded to open the door to the music room. The notes were at their loudest yet remained eerily peaceful, undisturbed. Time to see what the face of his musician, impromptu visitor was…

Shuichi’s jaw almost dropped to the floor when his eyes laid upon the piano. It suddenly felt like a fever dream.

 On the bench in front of the keyboard sat a blonde girl around his age, fingers moving almost on their own as she closed her eyes, too much into her music piece to notice someone entering the room, he quickly guessed. She wasn’t dressed any oddly by any normal means, albeit very formally for a robber: a mauve dress reaching to her ankles, only leaving her ankles bare, with a trail sitting diligently at her feet, with matching gloves covering most of her arms. Even her hair seemed nowhere near ready for quick action and housebreak: it was a fancy hairdo, with strands all over her back and shoulders. Her profile was, you could say, divine.

Now, how she had gotten herself there was a complete enigma to Shuichi. Even his uncle would have a ton of troubles trying to decipher what in the flying disorder was happening before his eyes. A girl his age had somehow broken into a high-security house dressed for a ball… only to play the piano and leave everything else intact in her stead. Surely he had to be hallucinating it all, stuck in a fever dream and barely realizing it. It was unreal to say the least.

 Eventually, the piece ended, and the girl opened her eyes, revealing pink irises glancing right into his. God, she was beautiful in all the meanings of the physical team, but seriously, what the hell? Who was this woman, what was she doing there, playing the piano? How and why? She couldn’t have possibly been the cause of all the music he had lonelily heard all of his life, could she?

“Ah,” she spoke up before he could even phrase a single thing in a coherent sentence, “I see that you have found me at last. I’ve lost our little game of hide-and-seek!”

Okay, now that was getting a tad creepy and way too cryptic for his liking.

“Who… Who are you?!”

 Shuichi didn’t want to scream that like some angry drunk guy stumbling upon his own imagination, especially when the empty halls and rooms resonated this badly; yet his voice decided to do so anyway. Sometimes, his body could ask for his consent, but apparently it didn’t want to know anything about his desires. He’d have dwelled more on it if he wasn’t staring right at a girl playing on his mother’s piano with a slight smile and shimmering eyes.

“Well, I kind of expected you to ask me that first-hand. My name is Kaede. It’s a pleasure to meet you at last, Shuichi!”

Okay, what the fuck. How did she know his given name? What in the hell was that evasive response? And she still hadn’t only replied to most of his interrogations! Was she making fun of him, on top of stalking him with piano music of all things? He didn’t know how to phrase anything without sounding like a future murderer or a maniac.

 Still, “Kaede” quickly noticed he wasn’t convinced by just having her name. She simply hummed and resumed the conversation (if conversation this weird situation even was).

“I’m certain you won’t believe me, but we’re soulmates! Have you never heard the myth of hearing music everywhere you went until you’d meet your one true person? It doesn’t even have to be about love!”

“…you’re kidding me, right?”

She didn’t seem quite that happy with being questioned, instead shrugging with a slightly displeased expression. She ought to have had a knife hidden under her dress.

“Why would I joke about that? I’ve waited seventeen years to meet you!”

 She rose from the bench, hair and trail flowing behind her, floating in the air like wind blew in the room. He had to admit it: she was absolutely stunning and, frankly, didn’t seem too mean aside from being… weirdly playing the piano in an empty house.

“Hold up”, he still said, rising a hand. “How did you break in? Why aren’t you, I don’t know, stealing anything?”

“Why would I steal anything? I’m not here for items, I’m here for you!”

“Still, how did you make your way here?”

Kaede seemed bothered by his question, looking aside with an awkward smile.

“Weeeeell… It’ll sound unbelievable, but I can go through walls when I want!”

“…you really got to be kidding me.”

 As if to prove her point, she walked past him and, indeed, made her arm go through the wall behind his back. He felt a shiver go down his spine with a cold sweat.

“O-okay… And how do you do that…?”

He may have been terrified to see such a display without a proper forewarning.

“I’m a goddess!”

How far could this girl push his willing suspension of disbelief?

“Gods aren’t real, no? That’s old mythological stuff.”

“Yet you have one right in front of you!”

He supposed she could go through the walls and play the piano wherever he went…

“Wait, that means you’ve known me since I was a little boy, right?”

That had the most unfortunate implications ever.

“I… actually never saw you until now.”

 The situation kept growing weirder and weirder.

“Wait, what?! How do you know I’m “the one”, then?!”

She pulled down the right side of her dress, revealing a part of her breast and, most importantly, a crescent-shaped birthmark. With her other hand, she pointed exactly where his was, on his right.

“…so, all along, all those legends were true? God, I must be dreaming all this.”

Kaede looked annoyed.

“I thought you’d be happier than that to know you’re linked to a goddess in such a way!”

 Only then did it hit him.

“Wait. You’re the one who was playing this song I’d always hear, right?”

“Yeah. That was me trying to locate you, but most of the time, you’d be in trouble…”

“So, in short, you’re also the one who saved me when I was in harm’s way.”

“I tried my best back there! I couldn’t lose you before we’d meet, right? That’d have been anticlimactic!”

 It felt like being revealed the truth after a lifetime of lies and he, honestly, didn’t know how to handle it, or even if he could. That must have been when he felt her soft, warm touch around his body.

“Hey, are you okay?!” She asked, frantic, as she carried him like a firefighter around, until she found the nearest bedroom to put him on the bed.

Words had escaped his mouth, head spinning in dizziness.

“I suppose that’s a lot to take in…”

She picked a chair and sat on it, right next to it, her fingers hovering over one of his hands.

“I… I don’t know what to say…!” Shuichi laughed, still half in disbelief. “That stuff’s just insane!”

“I can only imagine so.”

 He took a deep breath and tried calming himself, if not just to stabilize his swimming field of vision for a moment.

“So… You’re some kind of goddess, right?”

“Yeah! I’m a deity of music! My father is the god of harmony and my mother is the goddess of technique and precision. My twin sister is the goddess of the harp!”

Okay. That made… some coherence, at least. It wasn’t entirely hazardous pull after hazardous pull.

“But, like, does that mean you were in love with me since I was born?”

“I didn’t know who you were for real until today! I just knew your name, where you were and things like that, but I couldn’t see your face until you’d see mine first. It’s the thing with being a goddess with a mortal soulmate…”

She seemed saddened by that fact.

“That’s a thing that happens, sometimes?”

“We deities have a few different soulmates in our lifetime. Sometimes, our bond to them is so strong the mortal get to ascend, but it happens very rarely. You’re my first soulmate, though! I’m a very young goddess by our standards!”

“You’ve waited for me for seventeen years, right?”

“Yeah! I hoped you were a good guy, and I’m not disappointed. I’m sorry if I’ve scared you with my attempts at finding you.”

“It’s… it’s fine. Now I know it’s not a stalker with malicious intentions, at least…”

 Kaede put one of her hand on his. It was only now that he was noticing she had somehow changed into something much more comfortable-looking: a pink toga-like dress with an untied hairdo. He supposed that was part of her powers…

“If you don’t want me around, I can always go back to where I come from. But, if I’m to be honest, I’d rather discover the mortal world with you.”

“N-no, not at all, you don’t bother me!” (Now that he was getting over his emotions, he realized she seemed like a nice sport all around. He could get used to her magical shenanigans later down the line). “I just have a question to ask.”

“Yeah?”

“Can you take a human form? I don’t want to introduce you to Kaito as my invisible friend who can go through walls…”

Her expression, which had been serious and determined until that point, broke into a laugh.

“I like that title, though! Anyway, yeah, I can take human shape and pretend to be a mortal. I’ll just have to use a bit of my goddess magic to give me some officialness.”

“And you don’t mind that?”

She shook her head. “Nuh-huh!”

“That’s good…”

 Shuichi felt a wave of fatigue suddenly washing over him before yawning. That was a lot of emotions…

“It’s getting late,” Kaede noted as she looked outside, the pale moon lighting the otherwise pitch-black bedroom. “I guess you want to sleep.”

“Wouldn’t be against it for sure… But I think you have a lot to tell me.”

“Oh, it’s no problem! I’ll be back in the morning then, when you’ll be all rested up! Goodnight, Shuichi.”

“Goodnight…”

He fell asleep before her fingers had even left his, still dressed for the day. Maybe that it was all just a dream, an absurd dream of absurd proportions. For now, it was a soothing experience, so he figured he may as well enjoy what was left of it until he’d wake up…

 When he woke up, it was to the smell of breakfast and the sight of a now-familiar smiling face with blond strands of hair cupping her cheeks.

[chocolatecarstairs]

qoaad theories

 i’ve had these theories for so long but i never got around to sharing them. talk about doing stuff at the last minute! (minor spoilers if you haven’t read the leaked first 3 chapters of queen/tmi spoilers) 

also a disclaimer: i know that some people have gotten their copies early and might be able to confirm/deny these rumors, but i am not one of those people. these are all theories i’ve had written down and dated in a notebook for varying amounts of time. if you are one of the people who got their copies early (you lucky, lucky bastards) please, please, please don’t confirm or deny any of these theories or correct them or spoil anything about the book for me and everyone else who is still waiting for their copy. (at the end of this post i’ll explain how i’ll tag spoilers for those of you who wish to not see them to be able to block and avoid)

the parabatai curse has something to do with heavenly fire: basically jules and emma have both described burning sensations and extreme heat so many times in the series. (ex; emma always notes that julians skin feels hot to the touch, in lm the day after emma heals jules from the posion arrow he applies runes to her and she notices that they burn and sting which is the opposite of what is supposed to happen when your parabatai gives you runes) and in the leaked first three chapters after julian and emma almost frick-frack julian rushes off and looks at his parabatai rune in the mirror and its like glowing and has flecks in it? which is exactly how jace’s eye are describe in cohf when he still doesn’t have the heavenly fire under control and he loses control kissing clary in the alley. we’ve actually never really seen what the heavenly fire does longterm. clary traps the heavenly fire in the morgernstern sword just days after jace got it so it could reason that the heavenly fire drives people insane after a while because they’re not equipped to handle something so divine and powerful. it also could do it quicker to people who don’t have extra angel blood. i also think that this could have something to do with the snippet cassie released about emma’s marks (we all assumed it meant her marks disappeared but i have a feeling that’s not the case.). the snippet was entirely out of context and i think cassie posted it that way on purpose. she wanted us to believe that emma’s marks had disappeared but maybe they were actually glowing like julian’s parabatai mark had been (which could be one of the physical changes cassie mentioned.) and this is how the curse and the heavenly fire will take affect.

diego is going to die: i hate to even type this one out bc over the course of the series i’ve actually grown to like diego as a character, but i think he’s going to die in qooad. jaime will (presumably) be living in la for twp as he is an important character in that series, and i don’t think he’d leave the mexico institute if he hadn’t experienced some great tragedy that made it too painful for him to stay. i know that’s a stretch, but it isn’t my only reason for thinking perfect diego is kicking the bucket. he is currently in a marriage contract w zara and i don’t see the dearborns letting him out of it that easily. even if he can’t give them the heirloom i could see zara and horace forcing him to marry into the family as punishment and as security that if the heirloom ever does turn up zara will be able to use it to invade faerie. not to mention, he is harboring kieran at the sholomance which at the very least would be frowned upon by the clave and considered abominable by the cohort, but it also quite probably illegal. with horace as the new inquisitor and the mortal sword out of commision the cohort will probably spin a tale of treason and faerie-sympathizing on the part of diego and his friends that helped him hide away kieran. this will probably make him a target for everyone in the cohort. not to mention i feel like his storyline will wrap up at some point in qoaad and i could even see him dying in some way to save cristina and repay this debt he feels he owes her for breaking her heart (not to mention he is obviously still in love with her.).

we’re not going to see too much of ty actually mourning, but what we do see is gonna be heart-wrenching: we all know ty is going to try to use necromancy to bring livvy back from the dead (which was one of my earlier theories about qooad) and that the only reason ty isn’t a mess over her death is because he thinks she’ll be back with him soon enough. obviously, almost none of us believe this is going to work and we’re fully prepared for livvy to stay dead. i don’t think ty is going to realize that there is no way to bring her back until way later if not the very end of the book and watching him come to that realization is going to be an incredibly emotional experience for not just us as readers, but for kit and dru, and especially for ty himself. livvy and ty had a bond that i think was even closer than the parabatai bond and so watching him go through the stages of grief and finally accept the fact that his twin and partner and best friend (who as it had been mentioned before he has literally never gone without her a day in his life and has never been in a world she wasn’t in) is dead is going to be one of the most tragic losses/parts of not just the dark artifices but the entire shadowhunter chronicles.

zara dies, horace lives: kind of a simple theory but i’m 50/50 about zara making it out of this series alive. i have nothing to base this on but a gut feeling. i just really feel like one of the dearborns is going to die and think it would be a better death if it was zara. it’s kind of dark and twisted but zara dying would be an amazing cosmic punishment for horace. he would be going on in a world where the only person he had in life (it’s been mentioned his wife is dead and so far they haven’t mentioned any other family) is gone. 

the cohort isn’t going anywhere just yet: in fact, i think whatever happens in qoaad will just give them more power. livia’s watch will (hopefully) give them a run for their money, but at the end of the day i don’t see them being disbanded or falling apart. cassie has even said that at the end of the book things will be “not great for a lot of people”. i think she meant downworlders and non-racist nephilim. people like alec, jocelyn, and aline (and presumably cristina and diana) who have fallen in love with and been involved in serious relationships with downworlders or part downworlders. people like helen, mark, and kit who have downworlder/faerie blood. and finally for allies to the nephilim like maia, lily, magnus, luke, kieran, gwyn and so on who will likely bear the brunt of whatever the cohort has planned.

ragnor fell is shade: not a very original or well thought out theory. just the only person i can think of that we’ve seen before who is green and could possibly have a relationship with church. (he was very good friends with magnus in basically every series of tsc. church was taken care of by magnus for some time after jem became a silent brother which could explain how he and ragnor would know each other.)

kieran is heading back to faerie: i wanna see the hot faerie threesome last just as much if not more than everyone else out there but i have a feeling it’ll be a one and done type of thing. i see kieran either heading back to the unseelie court as king or a prince (hopefully the unseelie king dies) or being reclaimed into the wild hunt. if adaon takes the kings place i think he would welcome kieran back into the court as a prince and kieran would have some sort of gentry responsibility. if kieran is king then as it's been stated before “a king of faerie can have no human consort.” cassie even replied with that quote to a since-deleted tweet that i believe was about keirark or kieraktina. if kieran isn’t brought back to the unseelie court and the unseelie king dies gwyn will probably take kieran back into the hunt. the only reason kieran isn’t with them right now is bc the unseelie king wants him dead, so it stands to reason that, if the king is dead and the courts don’t claim kieran, gwyn will take him back to the wild hunt.

julian will sever the parabatai bonds (parabatai theory #1): we already know that the parabatai curse will be resolved “one way or the other” and right now the only substantial and viable option we’ve been given (besides jules or emma dying which is a fat NOPE) is the severing of all parabatai bonds using the black volume. it’s been heavily hinted at, if not flat-out stated, that julian is more than willing to sever the bonds if it means keeping emma and his family safe. julian and emma will be sent on a quest to faerie seemingly to retrieve the black volume and return it to horace/ the clave. according to one of the snippets, they apparently bring it to the seelie queen and she will only tell julian how to break the bonds. i personally don’t think cassie would have done it this way if julian was just going to tell emma right after. either she won't want to know or he’ll refuse to tell her, so i don't think she’ll even be able to break the parabatai bond. (unless they have to do it together which would be super cool) and i’ve mentioned it before, but cassie has said that the shadowhunter world will be changed forever in and leading up to twp and that the storyline would deal with how the protagonists and other characters adapt to those changes. i really feel like one of those changes could be the breaking of the parabatai bonds.

cortana is the key to breaking emma and julian’s parabatai bond (parabatai theory #2):  throughout the series, there have been multiple references made to the fact that cortana can cut through anything (ex; using cortana emma killed a rider of manaan which was previously thought to be impossible, emma also destroyed the mortal sword in combat using cortana). if cortana can truly cut anything then surely it should be able to cut the bond between emma and julian. i don’t know exactly how that would work, but this could also tie in with the severing of all parabatai bonds. maybe you need a blade made by wayland the smith to severe them. anything is possible.

that’s basically it on my theories for qoaad. i don’t know if any of them will come true, but i had a lot of fun theorizing over the past year and a half while i waited for queen. in the past couple weeks i’ve reread cohf, lady midnight, and lord of shadows in preparation for queen of air and darkness, so i only posted the theories i thought were relevant or most likely based on the proof i had from those previous books. maybe once i’m done with queen i’ll make a separate post of all the theories i had that were correct or partially correct.

since queen comes out tomorrow (technically today since it’s 5 AM) i wanted to make this long overdue announcement. i know i don't have a ton of followers (100 as of just recently!! thank you guys sm!), but many of you guys are tda or shadowhunter fans, so from now until sometime in january (likely january 4, but possibly later as i know some people will be getting the book for christmas) i will be tagging nearly all queen of air and darkness posts with the tags #qoaadspoilers, #qoaad spoilers, #queen of air and darkness spoilers (with the exception of things we already know like stuff from snippets or non-spoilery pictures). if you don’t wish to see any spoilers from me you can block these tags. that way posts tagged as such won’t show up on your news feed. i know a lot of other blogs are doing the same, so it’s a pretty great way to block spoilers all across the board (even cassie recommended it)! if any of you want to know anything specific about the book feel free to pm me, i've literally been talking about this book for weeks so once i know what its actually about i’ll be more than happy to rant about it with any of you!

[yourdailykitsch]

Taylor Kitsch Gets in Touch With His Inner David Koresh in ‘Waco’

Taylor Kitsch loves being Taylor Kitsch, and one of the charms of the 36-year-old actor is that if you meet him, you’ll love that Taylor Kitsch loves being Taylor Kitsch too. It was a crisp afternoon in late October, and Kitsch was sitting at a picnic table on the patio of the Mean-Eyed Cat, a Johnny Cash–themed bar on West Fifth Street in Austin. Kitsch was enjoying the sunshine. (“The weather’s been insane. It’s why you live in Texas, you know?”) Kitsch was enjoying his barbecued pork ribs. (“Eating a plate of meat is rare for me, but it’s fun right now.”) Kitsch was enjoying his sleek and very expensive-looking BMW GS Rallye motorcycle, which he’d parked in front of the bar’s entrance. (“That bike’s spanking new. It’s like my child. I love it.”)

Over the past few months, Kitsch had gone on a two-thousand-mile motorcycle trip through the mountain west, riding up Glacier National Park’s Going-to-the-Sun Road, winding along Idaho’s Salmon River. He’d visited Africa, “because I didn’t know what the **** was going on with all the poaching, and I wanted to know.” He’d traveled to San Diego to skydive with a bunch of Navy SEALs and his friend and mentor, the macho-man director Peter Berg. He’d gone to the “Harvey Can’t Mess With Texas” benefit show at the Frank Erwin Center in Austin—“a really great concert, like top five for me”—and afterward “tipped, like, 48 beers” with his friend country music star Ryan Bingham. Now Kitsch was preparing to leave the South Austin apartment where he has lived for the past decade and move into his dream house, a 6,500-square-foot bachelor pad on Lake Austin. His whole family—mom, brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews—was coming down from British Columbia for Christmas, and Kitsch couldn’t wait to show off his new place. “My mom’s going to lose her mind,” Kitsch said. “We grew up in a single-wide mobile home, then moved to a double-wide—she’ll lose it.” Kitsch was going “full Griswold” on yuletide decorations. He’d already purchased a ten-foot-tall blow-up polar bear to put on his front porch, and he and his oldest brother, Daman, were planning to install an elaborate light display before the rest of the family arrived. “It’ll hurt your eyes,” Kitsch said. “Literally, I hope we get fined by the HOA. That’s our goal, so we’ll do it.” Kitsch became famous for playing the Dillon Panthers’ bad-boy fullback Tim Riggins on the TV show Friday Night Lights, and over the course of five seasons, he made the character irresistible to watch—a teenage jumble of empathy, anger, machismo, and freewheeling fun. When the show ended, Kitsch appeared to be on a rocket path to superstardom, but he still hasn’t quite gotten there. Instead, his career since Friday Night Lights has been defined by soaring expectations, big-budget disappointments, and consistently good acting. When Kitsch and I met in Austin, he had just finished back-to-back press tours for two fall movies in which he plays supporting roles—the espionage thriller American Assassin and the wilderness-firefighter drama Only the Brave. But we were there to talk about Kitsch’s latest part—“the best work of my career, for sure”—which forced the actor to command the screen as never before and might just turn him into a bona fide Hollywood leading man. On January 24, the first episode of this project, Waco, a six-part miniseries about the 1993 standoff at the Branch Davidian compound in Central Texas, will premiere on the newly renamed Paramount Network (formerly Spike). The show stars Michael Shannon, John Leguizamo, Rory Culkin, and Melissa Benoist, but Kitsch has the plum role. Kitsch is playing David Koresh. The Waco siege has been the subject of a dozen or so documentaries that range from serious-minded to crackpot, but the new series is improbably the first dramatic re-creation of the entire event: 51 days of stalled negotiations and rising tensions that ended in an inferno that killed Koresh and 75 of his followers. The project’s genesis is unexpected: it was written, directed, and produced by brothers John and Drew Dowdle, whose handful of career credits includes low-budget horror films like Devil and Quarantine and the poorly reviewed Owen Wilson–Pierce Brosnan thriller No Escape. (Harvey Weinstein was an executive producer on the series, but his name has been removed from the credits.) The Dowdles may not have had much experience, but they had a plan: though the Waco siege has been a political and cultural lightning rod for the past 25 years, the brothers decided that their film wouldn’t dwell on the controversies. They wanted to tell the tragic, human, “no-bad-guys version of the story.” To do that, they knew that their single most important decision would be casting someone who could bring tragic humanity to Koresh. “We thought Koresh as a character is a deeply flawed individual, but there’s something a bit everyman about him, there’s something about him that people liked,” Drew Dowdle said. “The Taylor Kitsch version of David Koresh is inherently someone you would enjoy being around.” When Kitsch first heard about the part, he had only a hazy memory of news coverage of the Waco siege. But the more he read, the more fascinated he became. After meeting with the Dowdles, he reached out to his agent and said, “If they want me to do it, I’ll swing. I just need prep time.” Shooting was set to start in Santa Fe in April 2017, and as 2016 was coming to a close, Kitsch steeled himself for the next half year of preparation and production. “I went to Telluride for New Year’s and just blew it out—like, pizza, anything you could drink, ski, just go all out, don’t even worry about anything,” Kitsch said. On January 2, he arrived back in Austin, ready to begin his transformation. When Kitsch first came to Austin, in 2006, to film the pilot for Friday Night Lights, he was 24 years old, “green and raw” and mostly in the dark about acting and the entertainment business. “I genuinely didn’t know what a critic was,” he told me. Kitsch had grown up four hours west of Vancouver in the city of Kelowna, British Columbia, with his mother and two older brothers—his dad was mostly absent—and until he was 20, he dreamed about playing professional ice hockey. When back-to-back knee injuries ended his career, he moved to New York to try to make it as an actor, beginning a scrappy period in which he took classes, modeled, and, for a several-week stretch, spent his nights sleeping on the subway. Kitsch had almost missed his screen test for Friday Night Lights due to visa issues, and when he arrived, Berg, the series’ creator, first made him improvise in character for thirty minutes. Berg was suitably impressed. “What you did in there, make sure you do in this screen test with all the execs, and I think we’ll be just fine,” he told Kitsch. Friday Night Lights never had a big audience, but to the people who watched it week after week, it might as well have been War and Peace, except about high school football, and way more fun. Kitsch was the heartthrob, and even while the show was in the middle of its run, he was getting movie work, playing Gambit in an X-Men movie and the war photographer Kevin Carter in The Bang Bang Club. After Friday Night Lights ended, in 2011, Kitsch was primed to really make it big. Going into 2012, he had starring roles in two massively hyped movies with enormous budgets, John Carter and Battleship, both of which seemed like good bets to turn into franchises. “I had two ten-year contracts,” Kitsch said. “I would have been going Carter, Battleship, Carter, Battleship, and maybe an indie somewhere in there if I could.” But both films fizzled at the box office, and Kitsch’s career was forced to become more interesting. “I still have my journal from when I was in acting class in New York where it’s like, ‘All I want to do is indies and these characters and Sean Penn, Sean Penn, Sean Penn,’ ” Kitsch told me. He got his wish. He’s spent the past four years bringing a coiled-up intensity to men as varied as Navy SEAL Lieutenant Michael P. Murphy in Lone Survivor, Gay Men’s Health Crisis president Bruce Niles in HBO’s The Normal Heart, and patrolman Paul Woodrugh in the much-maligned second season of True Detective. Instead of conquering the world as an above-the-title star, Kitsch became our most finely featured character actor. When Kitsch arrived back in Austin after his Telluride bacchanal, he got down to studying. He read the memoirs of Branch Davidian survivor David Thibodeau, watched home videos of Koresh preaching, and made a stab at grasping the Branch Davidians’ end-times theology. “I literally had a beginner’s-Bible-study version of the Book of Revelation,” Kitsch said. Koresh was an enthusiastic rock guitarist and singer (followers wore “David Koresh: God Rocks” T-shirts), so Kitsch took guitar and voice lessons to pull off the on-screen performances. To physically transform into Koresh—who did not have movie-star muscles—Kitsch dropped thirty pounds, limiting himself to eight hundred calories a day and running around Lady Bird Lake while listening to Koresh’s sermons. As Kitsch dug into his research, he saw a clear path to playing the public persona of the Branch Davidian leader. “Before the siege, it’s his birthday every day,” Kitsch said. “It’s all about him. He’s got a go-cart track and a shooting range, and he’s a rock star—obviously the lead singer, obviously the lead guitarist.” In Waco, Koresh, as played by Kitsch, oozes charm and bravado and knows just how to manipulate the people around him. That’s not a stretch. The 33-year-old self-proclaimed “Lamb of God” was in the habit of waking up his followers in the middle of the night so that they could listen to him show off his savant-like recall of the Bible. He had about two dozen “spiritual wives,” including some who were already married to other Branch Davidians. After a claimed revelation from God, he commanded all men in the compound to be celibate, with the singular exception of David Koresh. (“I’ve assumed the burden of sex for us all, but not for my own kicks,” Kitsch as Koresh says in the show’s first episode.) He was good at a drawling, tough-guy act too: he drove a ’68 Camaro, loved his firearms, and famously sent a message to the FBI saying, “You come pointing guns in the direction of my wife and my kids, dammit, I’ll meet you at the door any time.” But Kitsch also had to reckon with Koresh’s darkness. Among Koresh’s wives were women whom he had married when they were as young as twelve years old, and even if you think the federal government acted disastrously at Waco, it’s hard to see Koresh as blameless in the deaths of the 86 people who perished in the initial raid and the final fire. “Taylor and I had long talks: ‘How do you play this guy in a human way?’ ” John Dowdle said. “That was a big part of the preparation, just trying to get through the ugly stuff so he’s not a monster from the get-go.” Kitsch seized on Koresh’s childhood to understand him, trying to find that part of the Branch Davidian leader that was still Vernon Wayne Howell, Koresh’s given name. During his research, Kitsch read about a phone call that Koresh placed to his mother during the ATF raid on the compound. Koresh had been shot twice, was bleeding profusely, and thought that he was minutes from the end. His mother didn’t pick up, but he left a message, telling her he was dying, asking her to “tell Grandma hello for me,” and saying, “I’ll see y’all in the skies.” “I broke reading it,” Kitsch said. “I was crushed. And after that, I was like, ‘I’m dialed in now and I’m ready to go.’ ” The call hadn’t been in the script, but Kitsch emailed the Dowdles and urged them to add it: “I’m like, ‘This will take fifteen, twenty minutes to shoot, guys, we’ve got to have this in there. This is not Koresh—this is Vernon calling his mom.’ ” The Dowdles agreed. When Kitsch arrived on set, cast and crew who were wondering what he’d bring to the role didn’t have to wait long. On the first day, the Dowdles had scheduled a scene in which Kitsch delivered a nine-page sermon on divine joy to his congregants. “It was pretty remarkable to see him get up and do that,” Paul Sparks, who plays Koresh’s deputy, Steve Schneider, told me. “I had heard some of Koresh on the internet, but to be in the room and listen to this person talk about these complex, different ways of looking at Scripture—it was like, ‘Right, that’s what it was like.’ ” Regardless of whether Waco is a hit, Kitsch has his next project lined up. He’s planning to go to a friend’s San Saba ranch in February to shoot a movie currently titled Pieces. It will be his debut as a screenwriter and feature-film director. Pieces tells the story of “three best friends who take an opportunity to change their lives.” In this case, that opportunity is to intercept a drug drop on the Texas-Mexico border, after which, as you might assume, “all hell breaks loose.” Kitsch wrote the script over the course of several motorcycle road trips, and he used the journeys not only to clear his mind for writing but as an opportunity to conduct research. “I remember being in Idaho and there’s this truck-stop hooker, basically, and I had a coffee with her,” Kitsch told me. “Don’t read into that, it was—literally, it was a coffee—and I just bombed questions at her, and she was just super cool. I put a character based on her in the movie.” Kitsch seems to have exactly the kind of fame that he wants. He can build a dream house and get a dream role, but he can drop by a truck stop in Idaho and bomb questions at people who don’t recognize him. He has famous friends and wild adventures, but every interaction he has doesn’t have to be about his celebrity. As we were sitting at Mean-Eyed Cat, Kitsch told me about turning down a role recently. It was a “little rom-com for five days’ work,” he said, and it was “stupid money.” He would have made more on that movie than he did on Waco, Only the Brave, and three Normal Hearts combined—“for five days’ work,” he said again. I asked him why he’d said no. He did the voice-over work for Ram Trucks commercials, after all. First he answered like an actor. “It’s just not where I want to be, it’s not the story I want to tell,” he said. Then he added a caveat that was pure Taylor Kitsch. “I mean, I’m for sale,” he said, a big smile breaking out over his face. “If you want to give me $20 million for something and my mom never has to work again and my family’s good for the rest of their life, yes, I’m going to do it—don’t care who you are. I come from nothing, so to give my mom that call would just be awesome. I mean, I wouldn’t do porn, but, you know?”

[domestic-harry]

Lisa can you talk a little bit about The Picture of Dorian Gray and why it's one of your favorites? Like, what draws you to it so much, your favorites aspects about it, your opinion on the characters, if you'd change anything, etc... Basically go awf about it please lol

It would be an honor to ramble about my favorite novel. Overall, the reason why I love it so much is that it challenged what was the proper normalcy of its time. Wilde gave voice to things that people think, but never actually say out loud. And a lot of them are still relevant to today’s society! One of the quotes is, “It is perfectly monstrous…The way people go about nowadays saying things against one behind one’s back that are entirely true.” That is one of the most accurate accords of gossiping that I have ever read. He also explores the importance of the self, but the essential downfall that can happen if you become to absorbed. The whole novel is about a balance of living and it’s written in an insanely gorgeous prose. 

Dorian is one of the most fascinating characters to explore. He continuously teeters on the edge of understanding morality, but then chooses self-indulgence over selflessness. It’s a perpetual spiral of someone who started off innocent and curious before they became corrupt. What’s really interesting to me though, is that he was corrupted by the book and ideals Lord Henry gave him BUT it wasn’t Lord Henry’s fault for how Dorian turned out. Yes, he gave Dorian the tools, but Dorian was the one who chose to act upon them. They were both cruel in similar yet different ways, but it was their own fault. The real difference between them was that Lord Henry was unapologetic about his emotions while Dorian was always trying to blame someone else for his misdoings. 

Honestly, I wouldn’t have changed a single thing about the novel. It’s brilliant.

Lines I have underlined in my copy : 

“Those who find ugly meanings in beautiful things are corrupt without being charming.” 

“When I like people immensely I never tell their names to anyone. It is like surrendering a part of them. I have grown to love secrecy. It seems to be the one thing that can make modern life mysterious or marvelous to us.”

“Those who are faithful know only the trivial side of love; it is the faithless who know love’s tradgedies.” 

“All influence is immoral…Becaue to influence is to give him one’’s own soul…He becomes an echo of someone else’s music…”

“The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it.”

“Behind every exquisite thing that existed, there was something tragic.”

“To get back one’s youth one has merely to repeat one’s follies.”

“…Punctuality is the thief of time.”

“If one hears bad music, it is one’s duty to drown it in conversation.”

“Nowadays people know the price of everything, and the value of nothing.”

“I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir their dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain.”

“He lives the poetry that he cannot write.”

“Experience was of no ethical value. It was merely the name men gave to their mistakes.”

“We are not sent into the world to air our moral prejudices.”

“Unselfish people are colorless.”

“Pleasure is the only thing worth having a theory about.”

“To be good is to be in harmony with one’s self.”

“Yes, Dorian, you will always be fond of me. I represent to you all the sins you have never had the courage to commit.”

“You used to stir my imagination. Now you don’t even stir my curiosity.”

“We live in an age when unnecessary things are our only necessities…”

“I once wore nothing but violets all through one season, as a form of artistic mourning for a romance that would not die.”

“It is only shallow people who require years to get rid of an emotion.”

“I don’t want to be at the mercy of my emotions. I want to use them, to enjoy them, and to dominate them.”

“You became to me the visible incarnation of that unseen ideal whose memory haunts us artists like an exquisite dream.”

“I didn’t say I liked it, Harry. I said it fascinated me. There is s great difference.”

“He procured from Paris no less than nine large-paper copied if the first edition, and had them bound in different colors, so that they might suit his various moods and the changing fancies of a nature over which he seemed, at times, to have almost entirely lost control.”

“…He always had an extraordinary faculty of becoming absolutely absorbed for the moment in whatever he took up…”

“Were his own actions merely the dreams that the dead man had not dared to realize?”

“I am tired of myself tonight. I should like to be somebody else.”

“Each of us has Heaven and Hell in him…”

“But youth smiles without any reason. It is one of its chiefest charms.”

“They get up early, becaue they have so much to do, and go to bed early because they have so little to think about.”

“Names are everything. I never quarrel with actions. My one quarrel is with words.”

“Religion?” “The fashionable substitute for Belief.” 

“To define is to limit.”

“We can have in life but one great experience at best, and the secret of life is to reproduce that experience as often as possible.”

“I have never searched for happiness. Who wants happiness? I have searched for pleasure.”

“Shallow sorrows and shallow loves live on. The loves and sorrows that are great are destroyed by their own plentitude.” 

“A woman will flirt with anybody in the world as long as other people are looking on.”

“It is the uncertainty that charms one. A mist makes things wonderful.”

“If a man treats life artistically, his brain is his heart.”

“Life has been your art. You have set yourself to music. Your days are your sonnets.” 

“The books that the world calls immoral are the books that show the world it’s own shame.”

“The world is changed because you are made of ivory and gold. The curves of your lips rewrite history.”

[2djdanger]

RAMBLINGS OF AN ANIMATION STUDENT ON THE BOSS BABY AND THE INDUSTRY ITSELF AND WHY I LOVE THE BOSS BABY WITH ALL MY HEART AND SOUL:

Words cannot describe the love I have for The Boss Baby. I saw an advanced screening of it a few weeks back with the director there & it blew my mind it’s like 3D animation meets 2D along with gorgeous art & so many opposites attract motifs like the baby acting like an adult & the graphic bold bright comic book feel type scenes that also meet this almost soft pastel 1950s/1960s vibe going on. AND THE EMOTION IN EVERYONES FACES AGH IT MAKES ME SO HAPPY AS AN ANIMATOR!!! It’s such a fast paced movie & everything happening at once & throughout all this everyone’s showing a variety of different emotions in a few seconds & the writing is amazing like not many animated films these days go back to the roots of traditional animation & just making it for a wide variety of an audience from all walks of life instead of making the same movie over & over again with great animation but a story line that seems rushed & choppy & not thought out but they keep making sequels anyways whether we wanted them or not just because m o n e y. I’m looking at u Disney with almost everything & Illumination with Despicable Me. It’s not to say that I don’t like sequels bc those companies have made some I enjoyed but it makes me disappointed when they could be putting their talents towards something fresh & new & original. This movie was o r i g i n a l in every sense of the word. Go take your kids to see it, yourself, your parents (I took mine & im a fully grown adult as are they & we loved it), your grandparents, your grandparent’s grandparents!!! It’s so great!!! It’s literally what the 3D animation community needed. I’m a traditional/2D animator myself & it seems more of the 2D movies out there recently have been trying to keep it original and don’t even get me started on the amount of work the animators do in not only 2D but 3D as well. But like recently 3D animation seems obsessed with the technology realizing they can make anything look more & more realistic nowadays then say when Pixar created Toy Story & their shorts in the 80s. These big companies keep churning out these movies not putting much thought into it & spending everything to make it look as real as possible. But that’s not the point of animation at all! They’re losing touch with why we animate in the first place!!! As my old storyboarding teacher once told our class on why we animate, we animate because it shouldn’t be possible in the real world. When you make anything animated you should stop & think: why am I making this story animated? Does it really need to be animated? Can I do this in live action? If you can make a story in live action then why are you animating it at all in the first place? It doesn’t need to be animated! Literally animation is just beautiful. You can do anything with it. And more & more especially with the technology in 3D films they’re slipping away from those values & ideas & making things that can be replicated in live action. So to see The Boss Baby really utilize the original concept of animation to tell that beautiful crazy impossible story & to top it off tell it through the bright eyes of an over imaginative child make it all the more better because it gives way to these big brilliant imagination sequences with these bold graphic designs that I’d die for. The editing and the animation in this movie is literally perfection it’s one thing flows into another into another into another & it works ANNND THERES EVEN GOOD COMEDIC TIMING!!! Sometimes movies live action & animated just can’t capture that kind of fast paced back to back tension followed by good comedic timing so to the writing team on The Boss Baby I say bravo to you & to the animators as well because God knows how difficult it is to draw out a normal sequence of actions but to follow the writing & get that vision out there in the open & follow it & draw it out so every detail works that’s just insane. This movie just inspires me so much & it’s relatable. My childhood was like Tim’s where everything was perfect & I was happy until my baby sister came along & we went at it for years. Another thing back to the genius writing in the film is this style where it forces you into Tim’s shoes because when they first introduce Boss Baby & for the first half of the film you’re made to hate him & he acts as the villain of the film until about halfway through Boss Baby really comes out of his 1 dimensional evil villain shell & just sees Tim in distress & reveals why it’s not only bad for Tim the current situation but why it’s bad for him too & then proceeds to give Boss Baby this insane narrative & beautifully tragic multidimensional backstory. Tim as the first main character has already been developed as a multidimensional character with different feelings & emotional expressions because he doesn’t know much about the world except for his imagination since he is a kid but by showing this then completely flipping everything on it’s head & giving Boss Baby real flaws & strengths that balance out Tim’s strengths & weaknesses it makes them seem a lot more like real relatable people & more so like siblings who depend on each other. As an older sister I can say some of my weaknesses end up being my sisters strengths & vice versa. Then by the end of the film,Boss Baby is this character you can't help but love & root for hoping he wins & can get out of the bad situations like when his formula was stolen so he kept going baby again it's like you feel panicked because you don't want Boss Baby to be normal you want him to be his crazy quirky self. Also this whole tragic narrative really hit me like it just stuck with me because I’m a sucker for these kinds of dark/sad stories layered in a brighter happier story & they coexist in harmony like that’s when you know a film’s really working. So SPOILERS AHEAD even though if you got this far there have already been some light spoilers I couldn’t avoid talking about but these get right into the grit of it. So the idea that Boss Baby was never really born fascinates me. In this world in the movie it makes sense. It’s also really sad as Tim points out as we’re finding out more about Boss Baby that he never had a childhood & how Boss Baby even says himself he was “born” or more so created (in both the universe of the movie & if he was self aware ((which he isn’t but for the sake of explaining this just humor the thought if he was)) that he was created as a character to work in this movie world realm plane of existence whatever you want to call it) all grown up as an adult in a baby’s body. Just think about that for a minute. What if you were born an adult & never went through childhood, never had a family, no one ever loved you or played with you or anything, all you knew was co-workers & business stuff. You never had fun or imagined things. That’s a really sad life if you ask me personally. He never had a chance to be creative or find himself all he knew was what the cold adult business school taught him from day 1. Most adults these days forgot what it was like to be a child & have fun & I think that’s what they were trying to get at with this backstory especially when Tim’s on the plane to Vegas with Boss Baby & just trying to teach him in small little ways how to use his imagination & just be a kid & not be so serious & black & white all the time. Also, I feel like that’s the issue sometimes with my own parents. As an animator I see animated movies as just another way of telling a story whereas people like my parents who don’t understand much from my line of work see it as a children’s media with no substance & pretty pictures. I want to break that barrier because the first animated pieces were NOT made for kids they were for other adults. I feel like it shouldn’t matter anyways if the movie’s marketed for kids because it could always be a good movie regardless of that & people like my parents forget what it’s like to have fun & see a good kids movie. They were kids once, we all were. As with many animated films before it, The Boss Baby brings subtle tasteful adult humor to the film as well as some just downright outrageous adult humor like Boss Baby running around butt naked with a censor bar over his nether regions. When you can marry adult & child humor together in a movie & make it work nicely it’s always a sign of a good movie. So tonight’s the opening night of The Boss Baby in cinemas everywhere & because I have so much love for this movie after seeing the advanced screening & listening to the director, producer, & designer from the movie speak about it & their own experiences they put into this film, like I stated before I dragged my parents out of the house on a Friday night when they would normally be in bed sleeping really early & shared the joy & beauty of the animated feature film with them. Normally my dad’s the one who will give almost any film a try & watch it & really like it. My mom however is extremely picky & if it doesn’t please her in the first 10 minutes or less she will zone out & fall asleep taking a nap through over half the movie. Both of my parents were on the edge of their seats tonight paying the utmost attention to the movie. It was a really beautiful moment to see my parents actually giving this animated movie a shot & they both ended up loving it as much I did on my second go seeing it. I’m not gonna lie I saw the trailers for this movie late last year & it caught my interest but I had this nagging thought that it wasn’t going to be a fresh new story it would just be typical & only made to make some money & keep Dreamworks in the game another year. I was happily proven wrong & this movie just takes everything about these money making no story movies & flips it on its head entirely. I even bought the art book for The Boss Baby because the artwork alone is enough to inspire me while working on my own projects. And that my friends is why you need to see The Boss Baby

TL;DR: The Boss Baby is an A+ gorgeously animated film with a breath of fresh air new story told in a way that’s really interesting & new & takes you back to the old days of 2D animation classics despite being a 3D film so disregard Rotten Tomato’s obviously wrong ratings & go see it for yourself because as an animator this movie makes me happy & I want to live in it forever ❤️❤️❤️

[bloggerblagger]

85) Hashtag Strap-on. Edinburgh Fringe 2018, explored, explained,  and reviewed.

If you have a spare few days left in August, drop everything and take advantage of my top holiday tip. Take the high road or the low road, the plane or even the train (provided you’re prepared to stand for four or five hours)  and  hightail it to the Athens of the North.

The Edinburgh Fringe is truly a once in a lifetime experience. And that’s an understatement. Because once you get the bug you may very well find yourself  - like me - going  back year after year.

Never mind that the weather is often, inevitably, dreich. (Dictionary definition: Scottish dialect for ‘Bleak, miserable, dismal, cheerless, dreary.’ And pronounced and meaning almost exactly the same as  ‘dreck’  which is Yiddish for lousy. How curious.)

Worry not that the  restaurant prices are ludicrous - in a bad way.  Nor that you’ll be lucky to get a room you could swing a kitten with dwarfism in, no matter how much you’re willing to pay - ‘how much?!!!’. Nor even that the pavements are so crowded - ‘OMG, will you just get out of the fucking way?!’ - you have to walk in the road if you want to travel above  sub sloth pace.

Because, really, who gives a shit? What’s the occasional near death experience compared to the non stop adrenaline rush of the Fringe.

If there is a better legal high available, answers on a postcard please.

Do mind the quality and still feel the width.

It is said there are 3000 shows on during the Fringe and that, during August,  the population of Edinburgh doubles. Frankly when you’re there it feels like these are gross under estimates.

Every lecture hall, every  room - very possibly every broom cupboard -  in the University campus becomes a theatre. Every basement in every pub and every loft above every bar seems to have a mic and a makeshift stage. And every doorway in every street seems to lead to a stand up comedian, or a sketch show, or a play, or to music or magic or mime.

The standard length - and it rarely varies - of any performance is one hour and shows begin at 9a.m and go on to 1 or 2 the following morning. If you had the stamina  and could survive the sensory overload,  you could, theoretically, do ten shows a day. But  even if you did, you would still see less than 10% of what is available.

And the standard is astonishing. True, every so often you come across a dud but, in my experience - three years now -  for a show even to be  average it  has to be pretty damn good.

Essential Fringe primer. 

Eight super-cunning tips (in no particular order).

1) If you want to know the best things to see,  find a friend who has been and ask them. LIKE ME! My reviews are below and as regular followers of my blog know, I am never wrong. Failing that, Google the  recommendations from The Guardian, the Beeb and The Scotsman.

2)  It’s useful to understand the basic ‘architecture’ of the event because there are several events going on in parallel in Edinburgh.

First, the original Edinburgh Festival festival which takes place in proper venues and is sort of proper culcher  and proper expensive.

Second, the Edinburgh Fringe which, as it name suggests, exists outside the Festival  proper, began nearly 50 years ago, has grown like the Beanstalk on steroids, and in which, shows, generally speaking, charge £10-12 for entrance.

Third, there is the Free Fringe, in which you find acts, so far as I can tell, that  are not in the actual Fringe and for which you can get a separate programme, and which, as the name suggests, don’t charge.

(There are also lots of other things going on - like the Edinburgh Book Festival - but I am not sure where they fit into the scheme of things. Might be part of the actual Festival, but not really relevant.)

3) Download and use the Edinburgh Fringe App. It’s really cleverly designed and once you’ve worked it out, it’s a great way to narrow down the insane choice, to find out what tickets are available, and offers an easy way to buy them. (I didn’t even bother getting the  hard copy brochure/guide. Who wants to schlep a telephone directory around?)

4) There are lots of shows you can take children and young teens to, but if you want to avoid a lot of  the kids, go on August 15th or afterwards. Because, as odd as it seems to us non-Scots, Scottish schools return for the autumn term in mid-August.  I am inclined to think that is the best time to go anyway. After a couple of weeks the shows will be properly grooved.

5) If you are part of a couple try it to make sure you are there on a Monday and Tuesday. There are lots of two for one offers available to all on those days.

6) Couples going for a few days or more, should get a Friend of the Fringe membership. Costs £35, and there lots of other ‘two for one’ offers available every day to FOFs.

Otherwise, to see 3 or 4 shows a day (the right level, for a serious  and hardy Fringe goer, I would say) you need to budget about £40 per day per person for entertainment before costs of  food, drinks, accom etc. Well, I never said it was cheap. ((By the way, my max fringe binge  this year was five shows in one day.)

7) Build your schedule around the plays at the Traverse theatre. The Traverse, known as one of     Britain’s leading centres of new writing, is not strictly part of the Fringe nor part of the Festival but hovers somewhere in between. HOWEVER, its programme is included in the Fringe. (No, I don’t quite understand either, but that’s what I was told.)

Anyway, notwithstanding that, they put on about half a dozen plays of about 60-90 mins length - why aren’t all plays that short? - cuts out nine tenths of the snoring - and they rotate them so they play at different times every day. Invariably brilliant stuff and probably all sold out this year. But they do get RETURNS. Call them on 0131 228 1404 to find out how to get one.

8) My strong advice is to book accommodation as far in advance in possible - like right now for next year - even if you are not 100 per cent sure you are going. You can always cancel.  I stay 20 miles out of town with friends - lucky me! - and this year, hired a car and every day drove into a Park n’ Ride (50p per day) and caught the train in for the last 5 miles. Inexpensive and just about manageable, although it took some organising. So if you have some mates in striking distance, blag a room.

If you have a ‘winibago’, you could do as a few enterprising Fringe goers do and take your leviathan and park in a Park ’n Ride. (There are quite a few situated all around the borders of Edinburgh.) Not sure I would want to stay in the Hotel Park n’ Ride but I saw people who did it.

This year’s BloggerBlagger  reviews.

I went to twenty three things in all. (22 performances of one kind or another plus 1 something else.)

These comprised, again in no particular order:

Five straight plays.

Games. A two hander based upon the story of two Jewish women at the time of the Berlin Olympics and simply stunning, as were Borders and Angels,  the last two fringe offerings written by former comedian Henry Naylor.  Henry, (who I am pleased to call a friend from the time I directed him in a Direct Line campaign 20  years ago - yes, funny old world) was  bracketed by one reviewer with Athol Fugard after the recent off-Broadway production of ‘Angels’.  

His standard does not drop. ‘Games’ is gripping from first to last and subtly draws chilling parallels with the era of Trump. Commit murder to get a ticket. (You may have to.) Five Bloggerblaggerstars.

Freeman. Half a dozen actors, with no scenery, constantly switch between different roles and different centuries to produce a riveting commentary on the sins of slavery and it’s rippling effect into the present day. Wonderful performances. Great imagination. Utterly compelling. Not on any account to be missed. Five Bloggerblaggerstars.

Revenants. A more conventional piece of theatre set in 1942 in which Queen Mary (widow of George V) is portrayed as a game old bird with a touch more brain power than the Royal Family are usually said to have. Surprisingly this too, turns out to be a story about race.

Had its moments but didn’t quite do it for me.Three Bloggerblaggerstars.

Underground Railroad Game. A theatrical experience like no other I have ever experienced. Once again this is about slavery,  a  mesmerising two hander  at the Traverse presented in a constantly shifting context and style. Sometimes comedic, sometimes tragic, and sometimes explicitly  and, even for a man of the world like me, shockingly  sexual, it never stops surprising.

Two wonderful performances, particularly by Jennifer Kidwell, an actor of astonishing power. You may have to commit a murder for this one too, but well worth  a lifetime in prison  so go for it.

My joint pick of the week.Five Bloggerblaggerstars Plus.

Chihuahua. A clever one woman performance that switches between the life of a character in  an Edith Wharton novel and that of a waitress in a coffee shop in Scotland; two women who are linked in a not very defined way by chihuahuas. This was presented in a much smaller venue than the other plays I saw, and also unlike those, it was only half full.

I thought the actress and writer, whose name I didn’t write down and now can’t locate on the internet, was heroic in the face of such a small audience. I think the title might be the problem. I am sure there must be something  that would grab a passer-by or a flicker-through with  much more grip. Three and a bit BloggerBlaggerStars.

Two plays with music.

What are Girls Made Of?.  Another Traverse presentation, this one with four excellent actors, three of whom were obviously at least as gifted as musicians,  and the fourth of whom sang wonderfully. Apparently she would have danced too had she not suffered a nasty injury at some previous performance,  a misfortune that the disembodied voice of the artistic director of the Traverse told us about  at the outset, before apologising for the show’s relative shortcomings and  begging the audience’s  indulgence. She needn’t have bothered her invisible head.

Cora Bissett, the injured singer, was so assured in this tale of the sudden rise and precipitous fall of a young rock star, told  as she approaches forty, that neither she nor we missed a step. She was completely convincing in the role,  unsurprisingly in a sense, since it was her own true life story she was telling, and, of course, she wrote it. Five Bloggerblaggerstars.

Vulvarine. Much more authentically Fringe in that it was conceived and performed by five fresh faced performers with great verve and obvious talent but with the odd rough edge still to be professionally smoothed. ‘Vulverine’ is a more than creditable  attempt at a musical comedy with a sort of ironic feminist theme and has some quite decent tunes and lyrics and  more than a few genuinely funny bits.

Allie Munro, plays the lead part of boring Brony Buckle who is transformed into Superheroine Vulvarine, and she was, I thought,  terrific.  Likewise the rest of the cast with one obvious exception. But given the youthful gusto that made this show so much fun, it would seem mean to name the culprit so, should you go, you can decide for yourself who I meant. Four Bloggerblaggerstars.

Four other musical shows.

21st Century Speakeasy Andrea Carlson and the Love  Police. Andrea Carlson, who, I would guess, is comfortably north of fifty,  has a sweet voice, vaguely reminiscent of Blossom Dearie if you are old enough to know who that is or maybe Maria Muldaur if you’re a little bit younger.

Sadly she had a rather faded quality - her costume seemed a little contrived and dated - and I don’t think it was intentional. The tunes were, by and large, pleasant enough  and she and her rather elderly backing musicians performed faultlessly, but the whole thing felt slightly tragic to me, an impression not helped by the only half-filled room. Two Bloggerblaggerstars.

Jess Robinson - No filter. This was  not a name I knew but she played to a packed audience in a relatively large venue so evidently a lot of people knew what I had been missing. Jess Robinson seems to be not just a singer, but an impressionist and has, according to Wikipedia,  been on the telly quite a bit, in Dead Ringers amongst other things. (She also nearly made the final of Britain’s Got Talent, seventh series.)

Regrettably I didn’t know many of the people she was impersonating as her cast of characters didn’t include   Vera Lynn or Gracie Fields or Marie Lloyd or Mrs.Patrick Campbell. My companion on the night described it as a bit ‘low rent’ which I thought was a tad harsh, but I knew what she meant. Two and a half Bloggerblaggerstars.

Johnny Woo’s Brexit Cabaret. Not a terribly clever musical revue with nothing very original to say about you know what. I didn’t realise Johnny Woo was a drag artist and I probably wouldn’t have gone if I had.  (More fool me for not perusing the blurb closely enough.)

I have never understood the point of drag - never got panto dames or Danny LaRue - although I suppose I do  remember liking the film of La Cage Aux Folles. And in the modern world, where, happily,  everyone in enlightened countries has the opportunity  (theoretically anyway) to be what they want to be - drag seems to me to be somehow redundant. Slick but shallow is about the best I can say of this effort. Two Bloggerblaggerstars.

Frau Welt. Another drag show, though this time, I had a better excuse as it was the only show on in the place where I  was, at the time I was there, and I was determined to see something, anything. This one was full-on screaming camp and I found the first ten minutes  spectacularly unamusing. One word kept coming to mind: WHY? Then I left. Zero  Bloggerblaggerstars.

Five stand ups.

All the stand-ups I saw this year, apart from the polished old stager, Fred MacAulay - whom I caught in the second half of The Best of Scottish Comedy, which a friend smuggled me into after I had fled the horrendous Frau Welt - were just a little disappointing. None were remotely bad, but none got me guffawing uncontrollably.

They were all watchable and, every so often, amusing and applaudable but, apart  from Maisie Adams, none seemed to me to have any stardust sprinkled on them. She has a routine in  which she discusses  her own epilepsy, and at  24 - she told us that - is clearly a natural performer. But she wound  up by telling us how she had overcome her disability, and being the ancient curmudgeon that I am, I found that bit a touch self-congratulatory.

AAA (Batteries Not Included) with ChrisTurner

Gràinne Maguire

Jan Lafferty:  Wheesht!

All two point six seven three ( why not?) Bloggerblaggerstars.

Maisie Adams Three and a tad Bloggerblaggerstars.

The  Best of Scottish comedy: Fred MacAulay. Four Bloggerblaggerstars.

Three other comic turns (I think you would classify them as ‘absurdist’)

Siblings. This two girl comedy duo is made up of  the  Bye sisters, who, as the ultracognoscenti know, are the real life daughters of Ruby Wax. (And Ed Bye - poor bloke, never gets a mention.) I saw them last year and thought they were hilarious, but,  as I remember it, their routine was slightly more conventional, in that there was a logical thread that you could just about follow.

This year it seemed to have a larger element of out and out bonkersness which didn’t really work for a couple of the people I had insisted accompany me. “You will LOVE them” I had said, but it was quickly evident they were just baffled. I would say (the) Siblings probably weren’t  quite as funny as last year but I really can’t be sure because all I could  think about were the fingers of blame that would be jabbed at me afterwards.“You said we’d love them.Love WHAT?” 

Three Bloggerblaggerstars. (My friends are superannuated old gits, so what would they know.)

The Kagools. Another female duo, Aussies Claire Ford and Nicky Wilkinson, who have a completely word-free act that is simply ingenious. They interact with a film of themselves  so that they are live on stage one moment and the next vanishing behind the screen to reappear in the film. It is clearly rehearsed to the millisecond because the timing is absolutely perfect - a moving arm  is  half live and half on film at one point, seemingly without a join.

The really impressive thing though is that,  despite the precision, it all seems completely spontaneous. The technique never gets in the way of the comedy and The Kagools are simultaneously  wonderfully silly and completely charming. An absolute delight, they are the other half of my joint pick of the week. Five Bloggerblaggerstars Plus.

Claire Sullivan, I wish I owned a hotel for dogs. Another Aussie, Claire takes absurdist comedy to new heights - or to new records of excess in whichever dimension absurdism exists. Think Vic and Bob on acid. And then some. Quite honestly, I didn’t have the faintest idea what was going on at any time, but she has a winning way which can’t but help force a smile. I did like her but I really don’t know why. Two and a half Bloggerblaggerstars.

One acrobaticky sort of show.

360 All Stars.  Five blokes in baseball caps worn at various angles doing tricks on BMX’s and with basketballs and  breakdancing mentally and doing somersaults and all that sort of thing. Probably great for the ten and unders and not too bad for the rest of us. But I wouldn’t be falling over myself to go again. Seen better Circusy things at the Fringe.Two and a half Bloggerblaggerstars.

Two ‘well known names’ shows.

Maureen Lipman. As those with knowledge of my murky advertising past  will know, Maureen and I go a long way back, so in aiming for proper objectivity, I might have to have be  more critical than I normally would be. In which case, she was even better than I thought, and that was very, very good indeed.

Her show was a splendid mixture, of comedy monologues, jolly good jokes and some excellent music supplied by Jackie Dankworth (Cleo and Johnny’s daughter I assume),  a fine pianist and, extraordinarily, on guitar, Harry Shearer, legendary Simpsons’ voice and co-writer and co-star of Spinal Tap.

At 72 - don’t think I’m giving away secrets there -  and now in Coronation Street, Maureen has, despite achieving national treasure status,  most definitely not run out of creative steam.  Sadly you can’t get tickets for this show no matter who you kill, because her run has  finished. Five Bloggerblaggerstars.

Nina Conti. *And now, at last, to the explanation of  ‘hashtag strap-on’. Nina Conti’s show began with another pre-performance announcement, this time to tell us that there was a Tourettes sufferer in the audience and to ask for our understanding. She turned out to be sitting a few rows behind my  seat and began to randomly pepper the show with lots of very audible ‘biscuits’ and suchlike. I can’t say this wasn’t slightly off-putting while at the same time provoking an occasionally guilty giggle, and it would have been a fearsome challenge for most performers.

Fortunately much of Nina Conti’s incredibly clever ventriloquist’s act -  I was in the front row and never saw her lips move once -  is ad-libbed and she somehow contrived  to incorporate one or two of the Tourettisms into the show, notably ‘tortoises’. (Really can’t explain but it was both utterly surreal and bloody funny.) The highpoint came when Nina, who uses volunteers from the audience as her dummies by fitting  pigs’ masks on their faces, and operating the lips with a hand control, was fiddling about with one of the velcro ties that holds each mask in place. ‘Hashtag Strap-On’ shouted out the Tourettes lady and  almost literally stopped the show. Five Bloggerblaggerstars.

One participation game-show (no audience)

Werewolves. A parlour game with twenty participants paying a tenner each, played at midnight every night,  masterminded by an Australian (they’re everywhere in Edinburgh) called Nick who sports a long beard, a topper and full Edwardian costume including an ankle length fur coat that must be a fraction too warm even in a Scottish summer.

The rules are a bit too complex to explain but think of it as a sort of  super de luxe, infinitely wittier version of the game where you wink at people to kill them. I warn you. It is addictive. Having made my debut last year, I played three times last week- meaning I was still up at two on three mornings! - and loved it. (Also a winner - twice! Not that I’m one to brag.) Totally recommended. 

Twenty Five Bloggerblaggerstars at least.