#God those chapters are going to both be a love letter to DR and also a scathing drag of them

[astro-b-o-y-d]

Love thinking about the Super Mega Hopeless Murder High School Of Hopelessness chapters of Triangulum so much. Would love to actually write them someday.

[pascaloverx]

DEVIL (+18)

Summary: You are a demonic creature, capable of doing whatever you please, whenever you wish. Your goal on Earth is to terrorize as many souls as possible. Until, in a small community, you find the perfect victim for your mischievous games: Father Charlie Mayhew.

Author's Note: Frankly, I just needed to write something about this character portrayed by Nicholas Alexander Chavez. The character and others, apart from Y/N, are not my creation. They belong to the Grotesquerie (2024) universe created by Ryan Murphy. So, dear readers, I must say I didn’t expect to write more than one chapter for this fanfic. But here we are now at the third chapter. I’d love to know if you’d like more chapters or if you’re satisfied so far. Depending on how this chapter performs, I’ll bring you more sinful priest content. I’ve also been considering the possibility of writing another fanfic featuring Dr. Charlie Mayhew (those who follow Grotesquerie may already know him). If you’re interested, feel free to comment. Thank you to everyone who reads my fic. See you soon!

Content Warning: This chapter contains adult language as well as adult content.

TWO FOUR

THREE

"Free yourself from Father Mayhew, demon. There is nothing more pathetic than being emotionally involved with a mere sinful mortal. Kill him, soon." The message arrives in a self-destructing letter, signed by the dark master, as if it were meant to intimidate you. You let out a laugh, dismissing the threat with a wave of your hand. You’ll part with your priest when you choose, not even Satan himself will sway your decision. The warm water envelops you, fragrant bubbles rising around you as you sip your wine, savoring the luxurious moment. It’s a reminder of your power, of the pleasures you can indulge in. As the warmth seeps into your bones, you can’t help but think of Father Mayhew, his struggles, and the delicious chaos you’ve woven into his life. This game has only just begun.

Until his voice fills the space, your priest is calling out for you. “Forgive me, Father, but I wish to continue sinning. I miss the demonic essence of the sinful creature that invades my mind every morning and night. I will not deceive you; I want that demon for myself, just as I fear that I no longer belong to my Blessed God, but rather to her. She has infected me, like a disease. She inhabits my skin, as if she seeks to dominate me. If it is your will, quench the thirst I have for her lips. Erase the memory of her skin against mine, but I implore you, Almighty God, bring her back to me.” You’ve avoided him for days since your last encounter, as it should be. Otherwise, it would seem like you are taking his side, sparing him from the consequences of his desires. The game continues, and you revel in the anticipation of his next move. Each prayer, each desperate plea only deepens your resolve, drawing you back into his world. The tension between sin and devotion creates a thrilling dynamic that you can’t ignore.

Suddenly, the taste of alcohol in your wine no longer intoxicates you. You crave the taste of him on your lips. He is not the only one feeling sick; you sense that he is infecting you as well. Resisting temptation is becoming nearly impossible. You step out of the bath, hair still damp, contemplating your next move. A red dress lies on your bed, paired with matching heels on the floor of your room. It is time to go and make a confession.

You slip into the dress, feeling the fabric hug your form perfectly, and the heels elevate your presence, transforming you into a vision of temptation. The mirror reflects a figure that embodies both allure and danger, a demon ready to weave her spell once more. You arrive at the church abruptly, using your powers to teleport to the entrance of the sacred space. The familiar scent of incense and polished wood surrounds you as you step inside, the heavy doors closing silently behind you.

The priest Mayhew stands before the altar, clad in leather pants that leave his butt exposed, as if he has emerged from the depths of the most sinful fantasy. He wears a sheer lace nightgown that accentuates his form, embodying an alluring mix of innocence and decadence. As he extinguishes the flickering candles, there is an air of temptation surrounding him, making the scene both captivating and provocative.

He hears the thunderous sound of the doors closing behind you, turning to look at you as if he’s about to melt under your gaze. A sly smile plays on your lips as you approach him slowly, without uttering a word. With each step you take toward him, he seems to lose his breath, anticipation palpable in the air. "Are you really here?" he whispers as you come to stand before him, his hand gripping the candle snuffer tightly.

You gaze at him from head to toe, using your powers to reignite all the candles once more. "The way you’re speaking, it sounds like you've been hallucinating about me, Father Mayhew," you say, bringing your face closer to his to murmur, "I prefer the flames lit, if you don't mind." Then, you gently take the candle snuffer from his trembling hands.

"I feared you’d never return, that I'd lost the chance to…" Father Mayhew begins, though he trails off, seeming entranced by your scent as he closes his eyes, breathing you in deeply. You toss the candle snuffer into a distant corner of the church, feeling the candlelight’s warmth casting a glow over your skin. "So much fear that you resorted to prayer to bring me closer?" you say, your words nearly brushing his lips. His eyes open, meeting yours, as if filled with something unsaid, struggling to form the words he dares not speak.

"I didn’t know who else to turn to, to have you near again. And talking to God is… well, what I do best, so I thought it was worth a try," Father Mayhew says, a trace of a seductive smile on his lips, unable to hide his excitement.

"Are you aware that your request was never heard by your God, but rather by a far lower realm? That's why I'm here." Your gaze remains serious as he processes this revelation, realization dawning in his eyes. His expression, rich with guilt and desire, compels you to place your hands on his face, your thumbs tracing the edges of his lips, soft against his skin. His eyes drift shut as he leans into your touch, surrendering to the moment.

"I feel as though, to see you again, I’d set this place ablaze until nothing but ashes remained, demon. I wasn’t joking when I said you were infecting me," Father Mayhew’s voice is low, gravelly, as though he desperately wants you to understand his sincerity. When he opens his eyes, it’s as if he’s allowing you to glimpse the turmoil inside him, a fragile resolve on the brink of surrender. You lean towards him, licking between his lips.

"Let me be your faith, your cure; I promise, Father, I’ll show you how serving a darker purpose can be… fulfilling," you murmur, brushing a brief, enticing kiss over his lips. His eyelids flutter weakly, as if each blink is his attempt to convince himself this is real. Suddenly, you feel his strong arm around your waist, drawing you close until you're pressed against him, his breath warm and heavy against your neck. The sweet scent of him fills your senses, leaving no doubt of his surrender as he pulls you into this forbidden embrace.

"Take me as yours, sinner. Possess me, demon. I've wanted to know what it is to belong to you since the moment you set foot in my church," Father Mayhew breathes, closing the distance between you with no hesitation. His lips find yours in a fervent kiss, his tongue tracing over yours as if to claim you entirely, the intensity of his need nearly overwhelming. It’s as if, in this moment, he truly believes you both could merge into one, the heat of it igniting between you in an almost unbearable way. You're almost impatient, you need to feel him. It seems for a moment that he understands this, as he He lifts you up with his arms, you leaning on his shoulders, wrapping your legs around his waist. His lips still against yours as he carries you to one of the church benches. He sits down, positioning you on his lap. His hands make their way inside your dress, and yes, he holds your ass firmly.

"Father, I have sinned. I believe there is a suitable punishment for me so that I may be forgiven." You speak in a sly way as if to provoke him, seeing Father Mayhew's eyes darker, with a slight air of perversion. He grabs your ass tightly, moaning close to your ear as your pussy rubs lightly under his cock. You pull his hand towards you, removing it from your ass, and licking two of his fingers. You taste Father Mayhew's fingers while keeping your gaze fixed on him. You then guide his fingers inside your pussy. As soon as his cold fingers enter you, you let out a moan, still holding his hand to go deeper into your pussy.

"Tell me what punishment you think is appropriate for a nefarious sinner like you. Show repentance and you will be forgiven,"Father Mayhew is sticking his fingers deep inside you, who were slowly losing your sanity. Sometimes you rolled over Father Mayhew's fingers hoping to feel him even deeper inside you. The speed at which his fingers were fucking you was supernatural, you could feel how hard Father Mayhew's cock was getting just from you bouncing under his fingers. His available hand was helping you with the movements, helping you arch your body more while holding your waist. Your hands at that moment were wrapped around his shoulders, almost grabbing his neck. At some point when his fingers entered faster, you almost let out a groan, pulling Father Mayhew's hair back, leaving his neck arched in front of you. You reached down to the exposed area of his neck and took hold of it, biting down hard as Father Mayhew continued to finger fuck you. He let out a low moan that sounded like he was enjoying the feeling of your teeth digging into his skin.

In an erotic way, he murmurs "You can taste my blood and satisfy all my desires, demon." It's like he's giving himself more and more to you, which makes you even more horny for him. Bobbing up and down on his fingers with an animalistic ferocity, you feel Father Mayhew's skin cut into your mouth as you sink your teeth into his neck. The sweet taste of his blood fills your mouth, at times like these, you wish you were a vampire and drank all the warm blood of your sweet Father Mayhew.

"Father Mayhew, if I could explain to you what it feels like to take you in this way, rest assured, all the demons would be lining up to taste it." You say pushing yourself even harder against Father Mayhew's fingers until he begins to gently massage your clit while fingering you. You find yourself moaning out countless curse words as you hold onto Father Mayhew until you cum all over his fingers. Your satisfaction is so great that you immediately capture his lips with yours in a breathtaking kiss. For a moment it seems like you're battling to see who can leave the other breathless. His tongue exploring every part of your mouth while his fingers are still buried in your pussy. The taste of his blood that was in your mouth becoming predominant, making the kiss even wilder. As soon as his lips leave yours, you feel a desperation for more. He removes his fingers from inside you and, keeping his gaze fixed on you, licks his fingers covered in your cum.

"You may be a demonic creature but you taste heavenly, demon." He murmurs close to your ear as he finishes tasting you. You hold his face in your hands and then give him a kiss, more calmly. You pull yourself out of his lap between kisses, heading towards the lit candles. Father Mayhew quickly removes his garment, throwing his clothes on the church floor. You slowly walk towards him with the candle in your hands, feeling the heat of it warming your hand. He is naked, with an erect cock.

"You know, Father Mayhew, one of the best parts about being involved with a demon is the countless ways you can explore new experiences," you whisper, settling into your Father Mayhew's lap. Since you came to church without panties, as soon as you sit on him, his cock enters your wet pussy, almost sliding inside it. You both moan from the delicious sensation of feeling each other.

"Let's see if you like this one..." You say, giving him a long kiss, feeling him completely surrendered to you. Holding the lit candle under his neck, as the candle melts, burning Father Mayhew's skin, you hear him let out a pained grunt. He lifts his face towards you, holding tightly onto your waist as he feels the pain. You're enjoying yourself, but as soon as the candle melts once more, you run your tongue over the parts of his body that the candle hurt. He shivers at the sensation of your tongue moving from his neck to his chest but seems relieved when the pain subsides.

"You will be the death of me, demon." Father Mayhew speaks and then kisses you aggressively, as if he is thirsty for your lips. He bites your lip as he kisses you, as if he wants to return the pain you caused him in such an erotic way. You then grind under his cock, making him throw his head back with the pleasure of feeling his cock entering your pussy even further. It's delicious to see him lost in lust, so you start to move up and down on his cock. He holds his arms around your waist as if he is holding you to him while you ride his cock almost madly. His moans make you almost overflow with pleasure as you ride his cock like you're riding a horse. Father Mayhew at one point removes his hands from your waist and tears your dress with his hands, right at the neckline. Your breasts are on display, which seems to be his goal. He puts his hands around your breasts, pinching the tips of your nipples. You let out a drawn-out moan as you feel his cock filling you and the delicious sensation of his hands stimulating your breasts. His lips begin to bite one of your breasts, sometimes biting the nipple, sometimes sucking. The feeling of his tongue on your skin is devilishly delicious, his soft lips delighting in your breasts, while he starts licking the other breast while stimulating the other with his fingers. The rhythm of your bouncing on his cock increases as you feel yourself coming again and you want to give Father Mayhew the same feeling. Your pussy is taking Father Mayhew's cock so well that it doesn't take long before you both cum, moaning loudly as his cum finally fills you. For a second you both stare at each other, breathless and surrendered to each other. He smirks as he stands up from the church pew, his cock still inside you, carrying you with him.

"Blow out the candles, demon," he whispers close to your ear, sending shivers down your spine. Using your powers, you blow out the candles, only for Father Mayhew to throw the candles along with other religious items that were under a table onto the floor.

"What are you doing, Father Mayhew?" you ask, genuinely wondering what he wants. He rests your ass on the table, using it as support to then put his cock in you, with more precision. He slowly thrusts his cock into your pussy while holding your legs so you don't fall. His nails scratching all the way from your feet to your thighs. You grip his hair tightly, pulling it back as Father Mayhew begins to pick up speed in his thrusts.

"I'm giving you reasons not to take so long to come back, memorable memories to keep you tied to me." He says, looking at you, while he thrusts his cock into your pussy without mercy. You then hold Father Mayhew's ass as you feel your orgasm come, feeling him fuck you so good. Father Mayhew's cock enters you deep in one swift motion and you cum, squeezing his ass hard. Your legs are already weak even though you are not human, your body behaves like a human body. Still, you wrap your legs around Father Mayhew's waist as if urging him to finish what he started. He captures your lips with his as he thrusts his cock into you two more times before cumming while still kissing you. Then he rests his head on your shoulder, clearly exhausted. And for a moment it's like you're between heaven and hell. He desecrating the sacred environment and breaking celibacy, you ignoring hell's orders to capture his soul.

[sarahjtv]

BNHA Chapter 327 Spoiler Analysis: Home Sweet Home

OH MY GOD, GUYS!!!  DEKU GETS A BATH!!!! 🎉🛁 🧼   My broccoli boy finally gets squeaky clean, gets some sleep, and we finally get some R&R time with the Class 1-A kids.  It’s not close to the happy-go-lucky days of old, but it’s some time with the kids nonetheless.  I’m glad Horikoshi put some heart and humor in this chapter because god knows we needed it.  But, let’s be real, this is the calm before the storm:

The chapter starts off with what everyone and Horikoshi has been wanting for Deku since he went on his mission: A motherfuckin’ bath 🛀 🧼🛁!   Kaminiari and Kirishima lead the Class 1-A boys to carry Deku into their side of the UA Alliance bathhouse (looks real nice btw) and give him a good power-wash.  The whole sequence is very comical!  The boys are rushing in and poor Deku has this O_O face on him like “what is happening?” 😂 We also see some of the boys butt naked 😳  It’s clear that Horikoshi had fun drawing this thing and it was fun to read 💚

Bakugo is with them of course and you can actually see his scars from when Shigaraki stabbed him.  He’s not bleeding, but you can see those scar patches on his skin.  I’m curious of how fan artist are going to draw him from now on.  I would like to see that fan art 👀

There’s also some bubble sfx coving Bakugo’s crotch and a translator said it might say dick or penis.  I’m curious what the officials will say.

But, Bakugo being Bakugo is still aggressive towards his classmates.  More playfully than before, but still.  He reminds everyone that he still intends on being the best there is and that everyone is still his rivals (also friends, Bakugo).  HE EVEN MAKES AN ATTEMPT TO CALL DEKU IZUKU!  LIKE HE ALMOST SAID “DEKU” BUT HE CHANGED IT TO IZUKU AT THE LAST MINUTE!  AND DEKU SAYS THAT CALLING HIM DEKU IS JUST FINE LIKE THAT ANGER THAT ORIGINATED FROM THE NICKNAME ISN’T THERE ANYMORE AND IT’S A FREINDLY NICKNAME BKDK FRIENDSHIP GROWTH YOU LOVE TO SEE IT 🧡💚  

After Deku’s bath, he’s sitting in the commons talking to the rest of Class 1-A.  Well, most of them.  Mina tells Deku that Ochako and a few other students went to bed after everything became ok again.  So, I definitely didn’t see Tsuyu, and it looks like Shoji, Aoyama, and Hagakare weren’t in this chapter either.  Ochako I understand; her speech must’ve been emotionally taxing.  Aoyama and Hagakare are the top suspects for being the traitor in the fandom and this isn’t helping their cases.  I don’t know about Tsuyu and Shoji though.  They’re both mutant-types, but characters like Ojiro or mutant-like people like Jiro, Mina or Tokoyami didn’t get outcasted.  Horikoshi did hint that Shoji would be getting something soon.  But, I really am just speculating here.

Now that Deku’s back, everyone has questions for him.  Though I understand why, this has gotta be overwhelming for Deku.  At least they’re not mad at him for hiding OFA.  They seem very understanding actually.

Then my ❄️🔥 boy, Shoto Todoroki, comes in all handsome right out of the baths 💙  He’s drying his right side while you can see a steam cloud on his left.  So, it is canon that Shoto drys himself naturally with his heat. His entrance is so pretty that even Mineta’s questioning it (shut up, Mineta, you’ll never be as beautiful as him).  And yes, I might be a Shoto simp, don’t judge me I see y’all too 👀

Anyway, Shoto asks everyone to let Deku sleep since that was pretty much the whole reason they brought him back.  Problem is, Deku can’t because he really needs to apologize to All Might for abandoning him.  AND AFTER HE SAYS THAT THERE’S A DETAILED PANEL OF SHOTO POINTING TO ALL MIGHT LIKE “UH, MIDORIYA? HE’S RIGHT THERE” AND ALL MIGHT LOOKING FROM THE WINDOW LIKE A HORROR VILLAIN WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE 😭

All Might comes in and apologizes to Deku for not being able to support him when he needed it, but Deku says that All Might support him more than enough.  Mina also scolds All Might for not saying anything when he left.  She wants All Might to apologize to everyone for that.  Though I’m glad Deku and All Might have reconciled (I honestly thought that last convo between them was going to be THE LAST for a hot minute), Mina has a point.  All Might did bail on all of them without any warning.  Kinda messed up in general.

All Might apologizes and he is going to fight with everyone regardless of his physical state so that he can see that flame continue to shine.  However, he warns the kids that they got info on the villains and that the final decisive battle is coming soon.  If the whole “Final Arc” thing hasn’t been hammered into your head, there you go.  I’m also glad that Stain’s speech did end up motivating All Might further.  Who knew?

So, All Might is off to help Endeavor since he’s got unfinished business to take care of.  But, the kids are wondering why Endeavor (and probably Hawks) isn’t entering UA entirely yet.  Shot reminds them that Endeavor is still connected to Dabi and that his presence alone would cause more discourse.  People’s minds can’t change that easily.  Shoto of all people would know.  

As Deku FINALLY SLEEPS 💤 and Shoto puts a blanket over him (possibly warmed by his left side 🔥) 💙💚 Shoto acknowledges how his presence might be making people anxious too even though it’s not his fault at all (thank you, Kirishima for doubling down on this btw ❤️🪨).  But, things are different and Shoto’s going to show that so that everyone can be at ease like he wants as a hero.  There’s even this sweet small smile on his beautiful face as he says this.  He’s grown so much and he’s pretty to boot I love him so much *HANDS IN FACE* 💙❄️🔥 

EVEN KIRISHIMA’S CRYING FROM HOW MANLY SHOTO IS I LOVE THESE KIDS!!!!

And now Jiro steps up and says her piece.  That she knows how hard it is to convince everyone to change their minds for the better.  Like with those two critics from the Culture Fest.  Even so, they accomplished this before, so she thinks they can do it again.  She even gathers all the band members to emphasize on this.  I love how Jiro uses her earphone jacks to rally the band and how she literally drags Bakugo by the shirt for a cute group shot.  None of these kids are afraid of Bakugo anymore LOL 😂!  Also, Momo is the tallest out of all of them in this line up shot (except for Bakugo who’s still being dragged on the ground).  I think she’s roughly 5ft 6-7 inches?  She’s the tallest of the girls I know that, but damn.  She towers all of them.  Even me...  She’s also very pretty in this shot and it’s her birthday as I’m posting this, so happy b-day Momo ❤️

And we get a beautiful panel of Jiro leading everyone to make sure that they’ll go beyond with making everything better than it was before.  We get a nice group shot of the rest of the class agreeing with her with a smile including Shoto with a small one (did I mention that I love him?) 💙💙💙 And Deku’s in the center still sleeping away.  I hope he has good dreams *kisses forehead*💚  And go Jiro for stepping up to the plate too 💜!  All these kids have grown so much.  There is a light at the end of the tunnel. 

Finally, the last pages show Endeavor, Hawks, and Best Jeanist going somewhere, maybe Tartarus.  They got info out of Dr. Ujiko via polygraph and the Nomu Research Group at Central Hospital.  They predict that they have 2 months until Shigaraki’s ready to go again, so they’ll need 1 month of preparation.  But, the info Stain gave All Might gave them more info.  His letter ended up being a personal letter to All Might (Stain really is that nuts...), but there was a microchip in the blade Stain left containing the security records from Tartarus.  It’s not stated how this info affected the mission at hand, but it sounds like it has to do something with the time frame.  So, I’m curious if they have less time to prepare or more?  Given how this is the Final Arc, Imma say less.

Finally, the teaser asks “How are the villains moving?”  I wonder if that means we’re switching to the villain’s next week.  I would love to hang out with the kids more, but I would also like to know what our villains are up to.  Like, where the hell is Himiko Toga?  Is Spinner still questioning shit?  What happened to Mr. Compress after he mauled himself to help Shigaraki and the others escape?  Also I think we need more info on this dude’s backstory given he’s the grandson of the famous Robin Hood villain who’s name definitely didn’t escape me... 😐  Is Dabi laughing his ass off from the utter chaos he started?  Is AFO still smiling like the evil mastermind he is?  Is Shigaraki as crispy as he was earlier?  I was going to ask about Twice but... 😭

So, yeah!  Love this chapter.  Really good transition chapter into whatever happens next.  I’m kinda sad we didn’t see Deku fight off more past villains during his vigilante days.  We got Muscular and Overhaul and I think that’s it?  Didn’t see any of Overhaul’s minions or that teeth-blade villain (Fish-something?; he broke out, but we haven’t seen him since) or Re-Destro or his goons.  I don’t count as Gentle or LaBrava as villains anymore and they were never truly evil to begin with.  Regardless, it was a really cool arc to see a more dark side of Deku.  I’m really glad Horikoshi made great use of his bunny hood and metal mask finally.  Deku really did look demonic for some time.  Also, seeing Deku badass is always a plus.  And seeing the deconstruction of hero society and the possible reconstruction of it was really good too.  Not everything is sunshine and rainbows, unfortunately, but we can do our best to make it that way.

I’m also glad that we finally got our kids back in top form.  Not just being heroes, but being teenagers too.  They all had great moments especially Iida, Ochako, and now Shoto as they should.  But, Bakugo’s apology was peak for me.  Over 320 chapters of development and build-up lead to that moment and it really is one of the best in the series.  It lives in my head rent free.

So, we got 1-2 months in-manga-time until what is probably the final battle of the series.  God, I can’t believe we’re actually nearing the end of this series.  I started reading it back in 2018 when shit was rough for me. I found this series after listening to the music and reading the hype around it.  I watched the show then I read the manga and it really helped me.  Saved me from a dark place actually.  I will miss this series when it’s done and I will be greatly for the joy Horikoshi has gifted us.  I’ll try to save the farewells for later.  I’d say this series has at least 1-1 1/2 years to go.

Me @ the kids and All Might:

[therealvinelle]

Maybe this is bold of me to ask, but are there any deleted scenes from your fics, or scenes you had consideted writing but didn't? And if yes, would you be willing to share them someday?

Oh no problem!

Usually when a scene is deleted it stays deleted, so I don't have a lot to give you. There are a few things that were cut in betaing for various reasons, I can put a few of them below a readmore in this post.

There's the prologue that never was to Nebuchadnezzar's Dream, from back when the fic was supposed to be told alternately from Bella and Carlisle's respective points of view. In the prologue we saw how Bella, Alice, and Edward came to the point where they decided to overthrow the Volturi. Or, we would have, except I didn't actually like that prologue, and found myself jumping straight to writing chapter 2, the "Carlisle is at a party and gets attacked by a werewolf" chapter instead. My good beta @theoriginalcarnivorousmuffin asked why I didn't simply make the whole fic from Carlisle's point of view, I realized she had an excellent point, now here we are.

For that matter, this is nowhere near the only significant change that happened to this fic during writing. One example, in the original outline I never brought up Carlisle's gift. Two significant things in the last chapter were not planned until after I published chapters twelve and thirteen, respectively (Luckily for me it'll look like I plotted them all along, so yay for that). For a tightly plotted fic, this one has had a lot of leeway.

Slight caveat, as I’m self-conscious: with most of these you will probably be able to tell why they’re deleted scenes. Especially the prologue. God, that prologue.

(Also, for the record yes I do write other things, but due to 1. being betaed, and 2. being long, I really only have examples for Nebuchadnezzar's Dream.)

The prologue that never was. Apologies for the fluff saturation:

The Babylonian king Nebuchadnezzar II once had a dream.

There was a statue that was gold on top, then silver, then copper, then iron, then clay and iron. As he watched, a rock struck its feet, and soon the whole statue crumbled, leaving nothing but rubble. The rock then grew into a great mountain that covered all the world.

This, the prophet Daniel told the king, was a message from Jehovah.

The statue represented five great human empires, the golden head being the Babylonian Empire, and the following three being those who would come after. The last would be both iron and clay, a divided kingdom. It will fall, and then the kingdom of Heaven will come, crushing those empires in its path.

Thousands of years later, in 1453, the Byzantine Empire fell. The last of the Roman Empire, a divided kingdom, had fallen.

The Christian world trembled, because reckoning was surely near. With the fall of this last, great human empire, all the world would fall to rubble.

-

Fifteen years had passed.

The Cullens had left Forks behind, settling in the small town of Grafton, Idaho. Carlisle had quickly settled into the new hospital, and Esme had designed a beautiful new home for them while the rest attended the new school. Jasper and Rosalie were Carlisle’s younger siblings while Bella, Edward, Renesmée and Esme comprised another set of siblings. Alice and Emmett were the fosters.

Jacob wasn’t far, he still lived with his old .

«Did you hear they all scored an A on Mr Rosen’s test? Seriously, all of them!»

The words were uttered by Jenna Gilbert, a blonde sophomore who reminded Bella very much of Jessica Stanley. She was sitting on the opposite end of the cafeteria from Bella and her family, though

«Jen, it’s the Cullens, that’s just what they do. You should stop comparing yourself…» her friend said soothingly.

Bella ducked her face into her hand to hide her smile, and winked at Alice, who grinned back at her.

It was Bella and Renesmée’s first time going to high school as a vampire. It was exactly what Edward and Alice had said it would be, for better and for worse.

For the worse, because she spent her days pretending to be a human girl, never using her strength or speed, pretending Edward wasn’t her husband and Renesmée wasn’t her daughter.

For the better, because she got to spend every day with Edward, Renesmée, and the rest of her new family. The others had done the high school routine too many times to see things the way she did, and Renesmée had never known a life without the Cullens, but to Bella, attending high school as one of Dr. Cullen’s adoptive kids felt like she had truly come full circle since that first day she spotted Edward in the cafeteria. She was one of them, truly, irrevocably, and high school was nothing if not a promise of the countless years to come surrounded by the people she loved.

Edward caught her eye, and she smiled back at him. She lowered her shield briefly to show him how happy she was to be with her family.

His face softened into that beautiful, lop-sided smile of his, and he leaned in to whisper into her ear, «You’ll be less happy when you’ve been through English 101,» he said.

«Hey, hey,» Jasper said quickly. «Don’t you dare, Edward, I need all the happiness I can get in this place.» He locked eyes with Bella. «Whatever you’re doing, keep doing it.»

Bella laughed, and rested her head on Edward’s shoulder. He placed his hand above hers on the table, and she smiled. «Not a problem, Jazz.»

Jenna’s voice caught her notice again. «Look at how they’re sitting! Try and tell me they’re not incestuous, Cam. Just try.»

Her friend didn’t reply to that one, although a quick glance informed Bella that the girl was staring at the Cullen table with a frown on her face.

Bella and Alice caught each others’ eye again, and this time they couldn’t hold back the giggles.

***********

Later in the day, Alice’s eyes lit up. «You’ll receive a letter from Stefan and Vladimir a week from now,» she chirped.

«Oh!» Bella exclaimed. «What does it say?»

«The usual,» Alice replied, her eyes slightly distant as she concentrated. «They hope we’re all doing well, and they included a new story of how things used to be before the Volturi. It’s the story of how they once built an entire temple for themselves in just one day. Oh, and they have a new phone number. O-seven nine six five nine six.»

Bella’s eyes widened as Alice talked. She hoped they had included drawings of that temple, it sounded incredible.

Bella hadn’t expected the Romanians to stay in touch, when they left after the thwarted battle with the Volturi she thought they would slink back into the old European shadows they had cloaked themselves in for that past several thousand few years, not to be heard from until some new threat to the Volturi loomed.

But no, that very next Christmas Bella had received a gift from them. It was an old, if flaked painting of Ivan the Terrible looking a lot like Vladimir, and a note from Vladimir explaining how he fooled all of Russia into believing he was their ruler for decades, all right beneath Aro’s nose. Carlisle had broken into a fit of uncharacteristic giggles when he heard that, and even agreed to put the painting in the hallway. To this day, he’d huff with silent laughter whenever he walked past it.

After that, Bella and the two Romanians had been in touch. They’d send her gifts, stories, and their own observations about the Volturi, and she’d respond fondly.

It was a very unlikely friendship, but she was was eternally grateful to all those who had stood with her family when the Volturi came. The Romanians were no exception,

«Are you going to call them?» Alice inquired.

Bella nodded. «They were going to tell me about their visit to Thebes.»

(Outline: Prologue of sorts. Status quo update, everyone’s happy except for the part where the Volturi are waiting to kill them. Alice, Bella, and Edward form their plan. Alice sees that she’s going to have to send Carlisle away, and coincidentally his hospital colleagues are having their Christmas weekend in Montana. PERFECT. She talks to him.)

***********

Heavily altered scene from chapter 7

Carlisle makes more jokes than he did in the final product, they're unfunny to the point where my beta said "you can't publish this", the plague joke in particular is a bit too dark for him so I gave it to Jane instead. More importantly, the chapter itself has a very weird, clunky start:

«Is it the gift of being profoundly unimpressed by ridiculous claims?» Carlisle deadpanned. «Because if so, Aro, I think you might be on to something.»

Several seconds had passed since Aro made his ridiculous claim. At first, Carlisle had burst out laughing. Then, as he realized he was the only person in the room laughing and Aro was staring at him in full seriousness, his laughter had trailed off and he’d been left to stare dully at Aro for several long seconds, waiting for Aro to crack up and say «gotcha!».

Aro never cracked up.

Carlisle had absolutely no idea what Aro was playing at, especially not immediately after Carlisle had very reluctantly decided against shutting him out of his life.

«You can’t be serious,» he’d said.

Aro had sighed. «I’m afraid I am.»

And now, at Carlisle’s deadpan guess, Aro only shook his head. «Not quite.»

Carlisle stared at him for another second, before he ventured another, scathing guess. «Are you hoping it’s the power of being highly suggestible? Because I definitely don’t have that, or I would have abandoned my diet centuries centuries ago.»

Aro just looked at him. «If you would let me explain-» he began, but Carlisle cut him off.

«No, no, you want to try and convince me I have some sort of gift, then I want to guess at what you’re going for,» he said, crossing his legs at the knee and propping his chin up on his knuckle in a faux-pensive look.

«Now,» he continued, even as Aro gave him the world’s most unimpressed glare, as if Carlisle was the one who was being ridiculous, «I’m pretty sure I would have noticed the power to throw fireballs by now, so it can’t be that,» he mused aloud. «Same goes for the power of…» he searched his mind, «turning into a bat. That one would definitely have come up at some point. Or maybe I should suspend myself upside down in a cave. See if it triggers anything. Just to be sure.»

«Carlisle,» Aro murmured, but Carlisle wasn’t done.

«Maybe I spread disease. My father certainly thought demons did. Maybe that’s why I get so many interesting patients. Those brain fungi,» he nodded towards Renata, who was still sitting with the book open in her lap, «I’ve had two in one year. That’s a lot.»

«Carlisle-» Aro tried again, but Carlisle held up a finger, a wide grin spreading across his face.

«The power to change my eye color. You see, yesterday they were black-»

Aro actually rolled his eyes at that. Of course, he made the insolent gesture look like a fluid, enchanting movement.

«Yes, quite funny, now if you would let me explain…» Aro tried again while Carlisle tried not to snicker at his own joke.

***********

Two deleted paragraphs from chapter 9. The alteration was made because it was a bit on the nose about what Renesmée does.

Humans were mammals, and mammals were hardwired to protect their young. This extended across species, making mother cats care for puppies and humans care for anything that was small and cute. The instinct to love and cherish anything cute and helpless was an evolutionary necessity, and had to run deeper than anything if a species wanted to survive.

Enter Jane, who was the smallest, cutest thing Carlisle had ever seen, but from a species humans instinctively knew to fear. Maybe the very fact that she was something that humans knew they should want to care for made their fear exponential, made it impossible to deny that something was very wrong about her, that they were looking at a predator.

Perhaps too there was something to vampires having retained some of that human instinct to protect their young, if the countless stories of covens dying to protect their immortal children was anything to go by. Carlisle himself had been no exception when the Volturi came for Renesmée, even as he found himself risking the lives of countless friends.

How far things had come, he thought, from preparing to die along with his loved ones at the hands of the Volturi to sitting across a café table with Jane and pitching costume ideas.

***********

Chapter 9 was heavily altered, mainly as it was too funny the first (and second!) time around and I kept having to return to insert more existential dread. A side effect of this is that Carlisle in the original draft was still undecided on whether he had a gift up until the very end of the chapter, whereas it's proven beyond a doubt much earlier in the published version.

Jane was looking a bit daunted, though it was nothing compared to how Carlisle felt.

Silently, they went to stand in front of one of the many sports stores that Whitefish had to offer.

«This could still be confirmation bias,» Carlisle whispered, and leaned against the wall. For all the human blood that was in his system, his knees felt oddly weak.

Jane let out a startled laugh. «You’re seriously still in denial?»

Carlisle shook his head quietly. «They reacted pretty reasonably, just because they didn’t run away screaming…»

«Reasonably?» Jane echoed dully. «Carlisle, you can’t actually…» she shook her head. «Remember that bubble we talked about?»

Carlisle put his head in his hands, and let his fingers move up, under the wig, pulling it off in one neat motion.

Jane shook her head at him. «You look even more glamorous with your real hair.»

Carlisle still said nothing, balling the wig together in his hands.

Could it be he actually had a gift?

***********

The chapter 11 outline originally had Renata and Carlisle failing to communicate like normal people because they've spent too much time with Aro, and unintentional innuendo keeps ruining their attempts to make polite small talk. Sadly (or happily) this is a lot easier to conceptualize than carry out in actual writing, and their conversation wound up being far too serious for that, so it was cut. Luckily for you I did pen Carlisle flashbacking to a time his foot got in his mouth:

The moment after the words were out her face scrunched up.

Carlisle snorted. «Aro is a horrible influence on us all.»

He remembered one of his first talks with Jasper, when they were still getting to know each other.

Jasper had been a little starstruck when he learned Carlisle’s friends in Italy were those Italians.

He’d asked Carlisle a lot of questions once he got past a misplaced sense of awe, wanting to put a face to the eternal, petrified, leaders of the vampire world.

During a hunt with just the two of them, Jasper had been asking about Aro’s gift.

«What do you even think about when you’re with him?» Jasper had marvelled aloud, and he would later explain that the way he say it, this was like the way the Egyptian gods supposedly measured souls.

Place your heart upon the balancing scale against the weight of a feather, and if your heart weighs heavier it is devoured by the demon Ammit.

Place your hand in Aro’s, and if he deems you guilty of breaking his law, you will be torn to pieces in the space of a second.

Being friends with the man sounded unbearably stressful to Jasper.

Unfortunately, Carlisle’s mind had gone in the opposite direction, and what came out of his mouth before he could stop himself was, «England.»

He’d covered well enough for that, or he hoped he had. Jasper never asked.

***********

Chapter 11 was also supposed to have Renata being brave enough to ask for a selfie with Carlisle when they're both in black robes, this because I just really want Edward to sift through the Volturi group chat after all this and finding that. Alas, I couldn't work it in there. (Determined to not lose the joke, I had Aro take the photos in chapter 12 instead.)

***********

Chapter 12, the fandom ghost requested I include another butt slap and offered me fanart if I fulfilled her wish.

And so:

He held up a hand, presumably to touch Carlisle’s arm in comfort, but just then Alec started retching.

«He ate human food,» Jane deadpanned to Demetri, Felix, and Renata. Shaking her head, she brushed Alec’s hair out of his face as he hurled into the river.

Aro grimaced slightly, his hand hovering in the air.

Carlisle felt all the bread, corn flakes, and water that he’d swallowed press uncomfortably against his esophagus. «I’ll do you one better, Alec,» he choked, before he span around, fell to his knees and started retching, much like a cat.

Aro, evidently not sure what to do with his arm but not about to let it drop purposelessly, gave Carlisle a supportive pat on the bum before kneeling beside him to hold his hair as he hurled.

It was funny, but simply didn't fit the tone considering what happened after. It had to go. But hey, I got the art.

[cosplayingwitch]

The Sorceress of New York

This is the baby I've been working on for a bit now. It got a bit out of hand and took the ending in a direction I wasn't even expecting. Written for @the-iceni-bitch "Dark was the Night" challenge with the song "Bottom of the River" by Delta Rae.

Pairing: Bucky x Enhanced/witch!Fem!OC or Reader (written in first person, the name doesn't come in for a bit yet.)

Summary- Overall: Bucky needs help getting some of his memories back and is recommended someone who might be his best chance at help.

Warnings for the entire series: a lot of swearing, some violence, two non-major character deaths (not super detailed), starts off in a bar (but no descriptions of drinking)

AU: can't tell you yet, it'll ruin the ending!

Extra note: there's only one description of the reader/oc- she's short. Otherwise, visualize as you will. Also, including the prologue, there's about 11 chapters.

Prologue

It was late, but I was still at work. That was usual for me, though. I guess. I don’t exactly have a normal job. I don’t go into an office or clock in for a shift. My job is to wait in this dingy dive bar and wait for my clients to arrive.

Before you start making assumptions, I am not what you think I am. I practice magic- for a fee. You need something badly enough and know the right people, you get a meeting with me. I suppose I’m the last resort a person has before literally selling their soul.

And over the years, I’ve amassed quite the client list too. Most just visit me for a one-time fix, like getting a promotion or some kind of love potion. (Joke’s on them though- both of those requests get the same thing, something to boost their confidence. But they pay for what they think they’re getting, so I don’t complain.)

My most unusual clients?

The ones who already have access to magic.

I’ve had a few superpowered individuals seek my services. While agreements mean I can’t divulge exactly who, I’ve had an Avenger or two visit me.

See, I might not have as much power as their colleagues do, but my specialty is discretion. You don’t want rumors started about seeing Dr Strange or his people? You come see me. While I keep a record of our business dealings, no one outside my clients and I know what goes on.

I’m sure the bunch of them with magic over there- Dr Strange, Wanda, sometimes Loki- know I exist. They’d have to be stupid not to be able to sense other people who work with magic. Perhaps they refer me to clients with small issues. Perhaps they just choose to ignore my presence. They don’t interfere either way, which is all I care about.

Normally, I’d have gone home by now. But a letter was at the bar when I arrived, asking me to stay late for a new customer. Envelope sealed with a sticker of a pair of wings.

God, Sam Wilson does love his dramatic touches.

I didn’t need that to know it was from him. He’d visited me before and referred many to me. Not that I ever had to do much for any of them- usually just some kind of sleeping potion or something to help those who were especially struggling in the group sessions he held. I never complained. Hell, I offered discounts sometimes.

"Stay until closing tonight. I’m sending you a new client. He really needs your help- he’s not exactly a standard case.

You’ll know him when you see him."

What the fuck did that mean? “You’ll know him when you see him.”

Which is when I noticed something I’d never encountered before.

Damn it. Sam was right.

The flannel-clad man to my right looked completely normal, except that his left hand was metal. Shit. I knew him from the news. He was wanted for about every crime you could commit. And Sam was involved with that somehow?

This guy must have something serious going on for Sam to send me a wanted fugitive.

-----End until Ch. 1-----

Ch 1:

https://cosplayingwitch.tumblr.com/post/667396615886258176/the-sorceress-of-new-york-ch-1

[notmydayjob]

Requited

This is my manifesto of my love for criminal minds and the lovely Dr. Spencer Reid. Also I know some of the ages are a little fucked up but just suspend your disbelief for a second.

Summary: You grew up with Spencer but after meeting again years later due to one of Spencer’s cases you find yourselves rekindling an old friendship and maybe a little more.

Warnings: all the angst you’d expect from a CM episode, and sassy sexy Dr. Reid being adorable.

It’s been five, no- six years since you’ve seen him. You tried not to keep track but that was easier said than done. He was your best friend in Elementary and Highschool but as you both grew up you grew apart as well.

 You and Spencer were the most unlikely of friends as kids, the same age but nearly three grades apart. That of course was Spencer’s fault. You met in the third grade after your family moved to Nevada and Spencer was the only kid who was also sitting alone. After a while, you made more friends but none of them were as interesting as Spencer. He could read so fast and he knew so many things and sometimes you could even get him to recite books from beginning to end for you. He asked you things that you’d never really thought about like why the sky is blue or why the grass is green and when you said you didn’t know he’d explain it to you with big confusing words until you’d make him simplify it for you. You weren’t dumb but you weren’t Spencer, and part of you always knew he wouldn’t stick around. When you went to the fourth grade he went to fifth, spent two months there, and then went to sixth. You thought that would be the last time you saw him.

On your first day of Freshman year, you headed to the cafeteria with your friends and when you sat down and looked up you saw a kid your age, with long hair that curled at the ends, and big glasses, and was rapidly flipping through the pages of a book. One of your friends made a snarky comment and the other laughed but you stood up and quickly walked other to the boy, you honestly didn’t know why. Maybe it was because you hadn’t seen him since third grade or maybe it was because he had gotten so handsome in your time apart. 

“Spencer?” You said to the boy which made him shoot his head up in confusion. You waited for a second to see if he’d recognize you but after a moment of silence, you continued. “It’s (Y/n), we knew each other in elementary school.”

“Oh, yeah I remember. I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you.” He pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose and smiled up at you. Spencer didn’t really smile that much, not at people at least, but he always smiled at you. You sat down next to him, eager to get caught up. 

“I figured you’d be finished with college by now,” You joked which caused him to chuckle softly.

“Next year, I’m a senior now.” He recognized the apprehension in his voice. Even when you were little Spencer got teased a lot for being ahead you couldn’t even imagine what it was like now.                                         

“Are you even human?” You giggled. “What are you even reading that you haven’t read before?”

And so your friendship picked up again, exactly where it left off. Now instead of why the sky was blue, it was theoretical mathematics and physics.

The two of you spent the whole year together, you’d go to the library and he’d finish three books in the time you could finish chapter one, and still, if you were lucky you could get him to read to you. You were there when he got his acceptance letter from Caltech, he was so nervous when opening the email but he’d never admit it. Once you forced him to open the letter and you began to read it but by that time he had already finished it. 

“I got in.” He said almost too calmly. 

“What?” You gasped. He spun around in his swivel chair and looked up at you with a smile. 

“I got in!” He shot up and wrapped his arms around you. You were taken slightly aback at the physical contact. Spencer was a slight germaphobe but you still found opportunities to invade his personal space...respectfully.

And then again he left. The good news was Caltech was only a few hours away, you still saw each other on weekends, sometimes you’d come to visit his dorm and sometimes he’d come back home and visit you. You were also there when he had his mom hospitalized, you both knew it was the best thing to do but it was still hard for him to do. That was the first time you ever saw him cry, not when his dad left although you were sure that he did just never around you. Now Spencer cried, he tried to hide it from you but he couldn’t, you would wrap your arms around his waist and let him lean down to cry onto your shoulder. 

“I’m sorry.” He’d say to you after he had calmed himself.

“Why?” You asked as you ran your fingers through his long hair. 

“I never want you to see me weak.” He’d always say.

“You’re the strongest person I know.” 

As your senior year came to an end this time it was time for you to make the decision, stay, or go. Ultimately you stayed, applied to somewhere local, you didn’t want to admit that it was because Spence was close or because the town reminded you of him but you couldn’t deny it played a role. You hated Las Vegas, it was full of gamblers, pimps, and prostitutes and the heat was terrible. Sometimes Reid would take you to the Strip and you’d watch the people come and go, maybe that’s when he decided he wanted to be a profiler, you could sit there for hours and listen to him get all into people's business. Those were the memories you stayed for. 

Your third year was when Spencer left for Virginia, two Ph.D. 's in Math and Engineering, working on a third in Sociology and he chose to go to the FBI Academy. You were so proud of him but your heart broke to watch him get on that plane. You both cried when you said goodbye at the airport.

“I’ll call you every day.” He said, and for a while, he did but after that first night when you stayed up past midnight waiting for him to call but he never did. That was when you realized it would never be the same. You spoke to him every day, every week, every month, once a year, but now six years since he left and you haven’t even spoken to him in five. Until today.

“What the hell is happening?” You asked your boss as you saw a group of men and women going through the files in your office. 

“The Feds,” He nodded at the group on the other side of the windows. “They wanted information on a kid you used to work with...David...Dave… the last name started with an O I think.”

“Davies Ortega?” You knew exactly who he meant.

“Yeah, yes! They want everything you have on him, they have a warrant but you weren’t here-”

“Yeah well, I am now.” You sighed as you pushed through your colleagues who were watching with confusion.

“If you wanted to see my files you could have asked nicely.” You said as you came through the door. 

“Dr. L/n, I’m SSA Aaron Hotchner with the FBI, were you Davies Ortega’s psychiatrist?” A tall man with dark hair turned to you.

“Yes sir, I was.” You crossed your arms over your chest. “You have a warrant?” A dark-haired woman handed you the paper.

“You got something to hide?” A fit man with dark skin questioned.

“The Ortega’s are a rich white-collar family and the father is the DA, I’m protecting my practice.” You quipped back. “Your warrant says you have the right to the Ortega files and the files you’re going through aren’t those so if you’d please stop invading my client’s privacy I’ll show you what you’re looking for.” Each of them dropped the files they were holding.

“Thank you,” You said and then made your way to your desk, opening the locked cabinet beneath it and pulling out several thick files.

“That much?” The dark-haired woman said. You chuckled softly and then pulled out yet another stack of files.

“That much.” You corrected. 

“Ma’am we’re going to have to go through all of this and ask you a series of questions, I think it would be best if we did this at the police station… for privacy.” Agent Hotchner motioned to the crowd around your office. 

“I think that’d be best.” You agreed.

The ride to the police station was horribly quiet and incredibly awkward. Luckily though it was very short. You walked through the front doors following Hotchner, you caught a glimpse of Davis’s photo pinned to a board next to the photos of several women dead. You couldn’t make out too much because someone called out your name from behind you, not Dr. L/n but Y/n. You quickly turned to see a tall thin, brown-haired man with his hands awkwardly in his pockets, Spencer.

“Oh my god,” You smiled as you rushed towards him, standing up on your toes, practically jumping and wrapping your arms around him. He wrapped his arms around your waist in return and tucked his face into the crook of your neck.

“The two of you know each other.” An unfamiliar voice said from your left side. You and Spencer jumped apart like two teenagers caught together behind a closed door. 

“Uh, yeah,” Spencer spoke up. “We grew up together. We were uh… close.” 

“Close, huh?” The blonde-haired woman smirked.

“What are you doing here?” Spencer turned his attention back to you.

“Davies Ortega,” You said simply to gauge his reaction. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair, that’s not good.

“You’re his doctor?”

“I was,” You nodded.

“Dr. L/n, we shouldn’t do this here, follow me.” You grinned at Spencer before following Hotchner to a small room with a table and mirror, you were sure it was a window from the other side. You were left alone to fiddle with your thumbs and try to work out what was happening. After about 15 minutes the door opened...and Reid came in.

“I’m surprised you’re allowed to talk to me.” You grinned, that probably didn’t look good because of the circumstances but you couldn’t help it.

“I spent the last ten minutes convincing them that you would tell any of us what we need, but you’d be more comfortable with me, wanna prove me right?” He cocked his head at you.

“Anything for my genius.” Although it had been five years it felt just like you’d been teenagers walking on the strip just yesterday. “You think Davies killed those girls, he’s your unsub.” Spence talked about this stuff all the time even when he was in college, you knew how this worked. 

“Yeah,” Spencer spoke softly and nodded. “That doesn’t surprise you?” 

“No,” You said hesitantly. “I know this is being recorded, will the parents see?” 

“No,” Spencer said, slightly confused. “Are you afraid of them?”

“I’m not afraid.” You said quickly and defensively and he raised his eyebrows at you. “ I told them that Davies needed to be institutionalized and they nearly got me fired. Rich people can do whatever they want no matter if their child is a total sexual sadist.” 

“Sexual sadist?” He repeated. “Do you really think he is or are you exaggerating?” 

“Oh come on Spence, you don’t need to do that.” You sighed. “I know he’s messed up, you know he’s messed up it doesn’t matter who says it doesn’t change that.” He chuckled slightly, he should have known he couldn’t pull anything without you knowing.

“Why did Davies come to see you?” Reid continued.

“He was adopted when he was six, removed from his birth mother’s custody for neglect. The Ortega’s adopted him not long after, he went from having nothing to anything he wanted, he began to act out and they couldn’t handle that. He killed the family cat too.” You explained. “Even they knew that was a warning sign.”

“Why’d he stop coming?”

“I suggested hospitalization, they didn’t like that so they found a new psychiatrist. No matter where they took him it was the same though. Eventually, they got him institutionalized just last year he turned eighteen and there was nothing they could do. With this kid, it was never a matter of if… it was when.”

“Alright, thank you, we’re gonna need to keep the files for now but you can go soon.” He sighed and stood up to leave.

“Wait, Spencer.” You stopped him. He turned to look at you and it nearly took the breath out of your lungs but you still continued. “You’re about to go to his house right?” He nodded.

“He used to write stories, they’re in my files, he wrote about killing but they all ended the same way. He said before they could take him he would kill as many officers he could before and then himself.”

Reid nodded slowly, understanding that was your way of telling him to be careful. You followed Reid out of the room and he told you to wait with the blonde-haired woman who would clear you to leave.

“My name’s J.J.” She offered you her hand. This wasn’t the introduction of an FBI agent but instead the introduction of a friend of a friend. “Wanna help me go through these files?”

You sat down with J.J. and helped her go through the files, every once and a while she’d ask you about Spencer.

“So were you ever...with… Spencer?” She asked with a hint of suggestion.

“No,” You chuckled. “I had a crush on him when we were teenagers but that was all.”

“Did he feel the same way?” She pushed a little further.

“Spencer is about as transparent as glass, I never got the feeling he did.” You tried to leave as much emotion out of your voice as possible. 

“If I’ve learned anything from working with Spencer it’s that he can lie if he has to.” She chuckled.

Not long after you saw Spencer, Hotchner, the agents whose names you learned were David Rossi, Emily Prentiss, and Derek Morgan. They were all rushing out, wearing blue FBI vests, and fully armed. Spencer walked over to you.

“Hotch and the Sheriff said you can go, what are the two of you up to?” He said as he looked at the messy table of papers.

“I’m just helping J.J. with the files.” 

“Well, we uh- gotta go.” He held out his last word, you knew he was just as worried he wouldn’t see you again as you were. “When we’re done… I’ll call you. I swear.” You just nodded and wrapped your arms around his waist before once again watching him leave.

“Doctor,” Hotchner called you. “You’re free to go,”

“Yes, sir I know…” You said apprehensively.

“But?” 

“I think I’d like to stay until you get back,” Maybe you wanted to know what would happen to Davies, maybe you wanted to make sure Reid was okay, either way, he didn’t ask, he just nodded and left.

You sat there with J.J. for an hour as the team checked out the house and confirmed Davies was inside. J.J. got a message on her radio that they were going in, you both sat quietly at the table holding your breath and waiting for more news. Ten minutes went by before you got the next message. 

Shots fired; Federal Officer down. 

J.J. clasped her hand over her mouth and put her other over yours reassuringly. 

Suspect has been injured and is in the ambulance but should make it. 

A small wave of relief washed over you but the words Officer down were still stuck in your head. After about half an hour people began filing into the station, Hotchner, Prentiss, Rossi, Morgan, and finally Reid.

You and J.J. let out a sigh of relief seeing the whole team alive and well. Reid smiled at you, clearly amused by the worry on your face. 

“You seem stressed.” He grinned.

“Oh shut up.” You smacked his chest before wrapping your arms around him and burying your face in it. “What about the officer?”

“SWAT got hit in the leg, he'll be fine.” 

“I was worried.” You finally admitted before pulling away. “So, when do you guys go home?” 

“Tomorrow morning, maybe tonight if Hotch is in a hurry.” He shrugged and you felt his demeanor change. “Y/n… I have to finish up here but afterward, would you want to… I don’t know, hang out?” His hands sat uncomfortably in his front pockets and his shoulders tense. 

“Yeah Spence, I’d like that.” You smiled up at him. 

“Cool,” He nodded with a proud and yet relieved smile on his face. “Meet me at The Strip...our spot, at 10 o’clock.”

“Of course Dr. Reid.”

“I’ll see you then Dr. L/n.”

The Strip was huge but you knew exactly where he wanted you to meet him, at the corner of the fountains facing the Ferris Wheel. By the time you got there at ten, you saw him leaning against the railing waiting for you.

“You got off early.” You said to alert him that you were there.

“Yeah,” He seemed relieved that you showed up. You stood next to him and leaned onto the railing as well. “I didn’t know you got your doctorate.” 

“Yeah, I got my masters and started working but did online courses for my doctorate while I was practicing.” Sometimes you got self-conscious talking about education with Spencer and he seemed to notice.

“That’s impressive.” He said genuinely.

“I never would have done it without you.” You shrugged off his compliment.

“Me?” He turned to face you, his attention now peaked.

“Yeah, I mean...yeah, you always used to talk about Dahmer and Gacy and how fucked up their childhoods were. It just wanted to stop it before it happened but clearly… that didn’t work.”

“Hey,” He placed his hand on your shoulder. Spencer shockingly hadn’t changed much in the six years you’d been apart. His hair was longer than it used to be and much messier and curlier, he dressed slightly different as well. As a teenager, Spencer rarely wore clothes that accommodated his tall but thin stature, and he never quite knew how to style his clothes. Now, his clothes fit well, his long sleeves were rolled up to reveal his forearms and he wore a black sweater vest and a dark blue tie. He looked mature and put together but at the same time, still kind of looked like his mom dressed him for the science fair. His socks still didn’t match.

“That’s not your fault Y/n,” He looked you in the eyes making sure you were really hearing him. “Like you said it was just a matter of when. I talk to these kinds of guys every day, they’re irrational.”

“Yeah… I know.” You sighed heavily. A silence hung in the air, neither of you wanting to talk about the events of the day but not knowing how to proceed.

“So you like Psychiatry?” He said with genuine interest.

“Yeah,” You said unconvincingly, causing him to raise his eyebrows like you. “Well, yes and no. My boss is a total pushover and my co-workers are dramatic and invasive. I like what I do but not necessarily where I do it.” 

“So what keeps you here?” He furrowed his eyebrows and leaned all of his weight on his right arm so that he could face you. 

“Honestly,” You sighed and looked around, trying to come up with the best answer. “Nothing.” I guess that was easier than expected. 

“What about your family?” 

“Everyone’s all spread out by now, retired in Florida, the woods in North Dakota, you name it.” 

“You hate it here, why have you stayed so long?” Spencer said, obviously confused now. He knew better than anyone that you should have gotten out of Vegas the second you turned 18. “Why did you even go to college here?” 

“Cause you were close.” You looked down at your hands, suddenly feeling how long it had been since you’d talked to him.

“You stayed because of me?” His voice softened and was nearly inaudible.

“Yeah, I guess I did.” You looked into the fountain, squinting at the lights shining in your eyes. “We have good memories here, I guess that’s why I stay.” 

When you finally looked back up at him he was already staring at you. You were tempted to dart your eyes away but you found it impossible to look away from him. And then faster than anything you’d ever experienced his hand was on the side of your face and lips were on yours. His hand was gentle on the soft skin of your face and it traveled slowly to the back of your neck desperately bringing you closer to him. Your hands rested on his chest, fingers digging into the coarse wool of his sweater in an attempt to keep him there. With one step towards you, he closed the gap between your bodies and pressed you against the railing. You arched your back, pushing your body against him to prevent you from bending back over the railing. Spencer’s other arm wrapped around your waist pulling you impossibly close to him. 

The kiss had started slow and unsure but once you reciprocated it became desperate and hungry for what both of you had been wanting since you were teenagers. Spencer’s tongue grazed against your bottom lip requesting entrance which you gladly gave him. Your tongues danced together, not a fight for dominance but a dance between two equals trying to explore every piece of their partner. Spencer’s teeth softly grazed against your bottom lip pulling it between his before he reluctantly pulled his face away from yours but still kept his body pressed against yours. Both of you stood there not daring to move away from each other as you gasped for breath. 

“I think I’m ready to leave.” You said between breaths. 

“And go where? Virginia?” Spencer was obviously kidding but the way you looked up at him to gauge his reaction showed that you were completely serious. “Oh, Y/n no, you can’t uproot your life for me.”

“Oh come on Spence!” You slipped out from under him getting space to gain some confidence in your argument. “I hate it here, it’s hot, the people are terrible, I’m ready to quit my job after today’s fiasco.” Spencer just shook his head and chuckled, you continued.

“Come on Spence I love the East Coast, the people, the seasons.”

“The seasons? That’s why you want to come?” His smile turned into a proud smirk as he placed his hands on either side of you, pressing you against the railing.

“And good company.” You smiled before pulling him down to meet your lips. 

“I missed you so much.” He said between kisses. You went to say something back but before you could Spencer’s phone went off in his pocket. He dropped his head and let out a loud sigh that made you giggle. 

“Yeah, Hotch.” He said formally but rolled his eyes and grinned at you. There were a few seconds of silence but you could hear a deep muffled voice through that phone. “Actually, I was planning on staying for a while, I’ll catch my own flight back.” The two men exchanged a few more formalities before Spencer casually put his phone back in his pocket.

“You’re staying?” You looked up at him with a timid smile before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder and leaned his body against yours.

“Well, I gotta help you pack.”

[iamtrebleclefstories]

I Believe in Second Chances - Part 5

Things are a little different this time around

Or the story where Alex dies while on his way to stop Jo from reading the letter he sent. Somehow, he gets a second chance

Hi! I am so sorry this took so long to update, but I have started planning the following chapters which will hopefully make it easier to update more frequently.

(i definitely wrote this instead of studying for finals whoops)

If you haven’t read part 4 yet, you can find it here

—Part 5—

The next few weeks played out very differently than they had in his previous life. Since waking up in this timeline, the Alex everyone knew went from a manwhore who couldn’t go more than two days without sleeping around to a caring, attentive guy that had everyone scratching their heads in confusion. There had been multiple moments where Meredith, Jackson, Callie, Cristina and even Bailey had given him strange looks due to changes in behavior. They were especially freaked out when they noticed his newfound friendship with a certain intern. 

“So… are you guys a thing now or what?” Callie asked as they walked into the attendings lounge, mugs of coffee in each of their hands. “I’m just trying to figure it out because I’m not really sure what to say to people when they ask.”

“If people ask, just tell them to stay the hell out of my business,” Alex took another sip of his coffee. “We’re just friends.”

“Oh come,” Callie gave him an unimpressed look. “I know you like her. Why don’t you just make a move already? It’s been a month since you met.”

“Because I want to do this right,” Alex sighed and thought back to the way things unfolded the first time. “There are some things I’m trying to avoid, so I need to show her who I am first. She needs to trust me and like me before I do anything about it.”

“I can’t believe you’re actually trying to impress this girl,” Callie took a long swig of her coffee. “Sure, she’s hot and funny, but what’s so special about her? Because you look at her like she hung the moon and stars.”

“She’s just…” Alex shook his head and vaguely remembered the words he’d said to Cristina over seven years ago. “There have been a lot of girls since Izzie. A lot of nobodies. But this girl isn’t a nobody.”

“Who are you and what have you done to Evil Spawn?” Cristina’s voice startled Callie and Alex as she walked into the attendings lounge. “Are you in love? Is Alex in love?”

“Alex is in love?” Meredith raised her eyebrows as she followed Cristina into the lounge. “Is it that intern he’s been hanging out with? Jo Wilson? If so, Avery owes me twenty bucks.” 

“Why does Avery owe you twenty bucks?” Bailey asked as she joined the rest of them. 

“Alex is in love with his intern,” Callie supplied, ducking as Alex threw a paper ball in her direction. “Hey! What, it’s true. You can’t even deny it.”

“No offense Karev, but don’t you think she might be a little out of your league?” Bailey wondered out loud, an amused expression on her face. 

“She’s definitely out of my league,” Alex replied. Realizing that he wasn’t going to get rid of their prying questions any time soon, Alex decided to give them a straight answer. “Look, she’s different okay? We have a lot of stuff in common and she gets me more than anyone I’ve ever met. I don’t think I’ve ever opened up to someone as much as I have with her. She’s also a bit squirrelly—not that it’s her fault—and she’ll run if I get too serious too fast, so I’m being patient and taking it slow so I don’t freak her out.”

“Are you feeling okay?” Meredith blurted out. “Because I swear you do not sound like Alex Karev right now.” 

“You guys suck,” Alex stuck his tongue out at the women and moved to get up. “I’m going to get ready for rounds.”

He left the lounge and started to make his way down to the intern locker room. As he neared the door, Alex heard some comotion inside.

“Oh my God, you like him!”

“You are so into him. Don’t even try to deny it.”

“Look! She’s blushing!”

“Guys, stop it!” Jo’s hushed the three women who had been interrogating her. “Okay, yes fine. I like him, but I’m not going to go around acting like some crazy, desperate girl like Leah—no offense.”

“None taken,” Leah shook her head. “Seriously though, you like Karev? I mean, I get the attraction. Both Heather and I slept with him and it was fantastic, but you actually like him? As a person?”

“I know you guys probably think I’m crazy, but yeah I do. I know everyone sees him as this jerk who only cares about getting into someone else’s pants, but he’s different from what everyone thinks. When we hang out and drink beer at Joe’s or at his house, he’s different. He’s funny and kind and charming. You know he bought a couch so that I could crash if I’ve had too much to drink and can’t drive home? Douches don’t do that,” Jo released a breath and shrugged. “Also, you should see him with his patients. Kids can see right through people and they love him.”

“Jo Wilson, you are smitten,” Stephanie teased as a wide grin appeared on her face. 

“Why don’t you ask him out?” Heather suggested. “You’re both comfortable being alone together. But instead of it just being two friends hanging out, make it a date.”

“I don’t know,” Jo answered hesitantly. “I’m not even sure if he feels the same way. Besides, he’s my boss.”

“Oh screw it,” Leah rolled her eyes. “He’s so into you.”

“He’s definitely into you. Trust me, I know,” Shane looked over to the girls, shutting his locker and leaning against it.

“How do you know?” Jo raised an eyebrow. 

“I just do,” Shane crossed his arms. “I was sworn to secrecy, but all I’m going to say is that the attendings talk during surgery.”

“He talks about you!” Heather gasped. “As if the way he looks at you isn’t enough proof.”

“Oh yeah, any time you walk into a room his eyes follow you around with this awestruck glint in them,” Stephanie giggled. “Go for it, Jo.”

“I want to, but… I didn’t come here to get into a relationship or be tied down to someone. I have baggage that no one deserves to be burdened with, much less him,” Jo looked down sadly. “I’ve been burned in the past. I don’t want to open that possibility up again.”

Shane rolled his eyes, “That’s not an excuse to keep yourself from being happy.”

Sensing they were done talking—and feeling a hell of a lot of pride hearing that Jo was already interested in him so soon—Alex waited a couple seconds before popping his head into the locker room and scanning it for Jo, “Wilson! We’ve got surgery in 20. Let’s go!”

Jo’s eyes widened as she scrambled to grab her things. She did her best to ignore the stares and winks her friends were giving her as she followed Alex out the door. 

“Hey, how was your day off yesterday?” Alex asked as they stepped into the elevator. 

“It was nice. A little boring, but I slept past ten in the morning,” Jo grinned.

“Ah, you always did love to sleep in,” Alex muttered to himself.

“Huh?” 

“Nothing, just—I figured you’re one of those people who would rather sleep in,” Alex tried to save his little slip up. “I am, too.”

“You see that’s why we get along so well. I’d never be able to work with a morning person before nine in the morning because I think I’d punch them in the face,” Jo tilted her head in thought.

“You and me both,” Alex chuckled. “Pretty sure I yelled at Kepner one too many times during residency.”

“But she’s so nice,” Jo wrinkled her face in confusion.

“Exactly.”

Jo laughed in response, making Alex’s heart pick up a bit. He loved hearing her laugh. It was probably one of his favorite things about her. He remembered their wedding day and the way she laughed so brightly and contagiously when they realized that they had had sex in a shed with a corpse lying there. If there was one thing that Alex was determined to do this time around, was to replace all the times he’d made her cry to laughter. 

“So, what’s the surgery today?” Jo asked, breaking him out of his thoughts. 

“Oh, um we’re performing a splenectomy on eight year old, Jalen Brown. He’s got hemolytic anemia and needs his spleen removed,” Alex informed as they walked into the scrub room. “I’m gonna go talk to him before we start.” 

Alex walked into the OR and up to the operating table, smiling as he looked down at the kid laying on it, “Hey buddy. We’re going to do the surgery now. This doctor over here is going to give you some medicine that is going to help you sleep so that you won’t feel a thing. When you wake up, you’re gonna be a little sore, but that’s normal. You’ve got this, okay?”

“Okay, Dr. Alex,” Jalen nodded timidly. “Can you hold my hand while I go to sleep?”

“Sure, thing kiddo,” Alex grabbed one of Jalen’s hands and gave it a reassuring squeeze. “Now, count backwards from ten for me.”

“Ten, nine, eight, seven, six…”

Nodding at the anesthesiologist, Alex walked back towards the scrub room where Jo was staring at him curiously. Alex raised an eyebrow, “What?”

“Nothing,” Jo shook her head. “It’s just… you’re really great with kids.”

“Well, I’d hope so. My job kind of depends on it,” Alex flashed her a crooked grin. 

“Obviously,” Jo rolled her eyes and began to scrub. “What I mean is that you make them feel comfortable around you. That’s something I’ve noticed since we became friends. You make people feel safe.” 

Alex stared at Jo for a moment, pausing in his scrubbing. He was grateful that he’d already pulled his mask over his face so that she couldn’t see the look he was giving her. Because, that just might’ve been the highest compliment he could’ve received from Jo. He knew how significant it was that Jo already felt safe around him. There were very few people in this world that made her feel safe and secure, and at this point in her life, he was pretty sure that he was the only one on that list. The people on that list wouldn’t expand for a few more years. 

Alex’s face softened and all he could do was smile underneath his mask at the woman standing beside him, “Thanks.” 

They’d been in surgery for a little while already when one of the nurses answered a page, “Dr. Karev, you’re being paged to L&D for a pediatric patient who’s having a high risk baby. It’s urgent.”

“Crap,” Alex mumbled to himself. Today was the day that he and Jo would meet the girl who abandoned her baby in the hospital. Sighing, Alex looked over at Jo. “Can you check that out for me? I’ll be in there as soon as I can.”

“Yes. Of course,” Jo nodded and promptly stepped out away from the operating table and proceeded to scrub out. 

By the time Alex finished up with his surgery, Jo had paged him multiple times to hurry. He met Jo in the hallway as she ran with an incubator towards the NICU, “Newborn with a CDH. I intubated him but the SATs are still low.”

“It could be pulmonary hypertension,” Alex looked up at Jo as they continued to rush towards the NICU. “Have you ever hooked a baby up to ECMO before?”

“I never intubated a baby before five minutes ago,” Jo replied, eyes wide.

“Okay, we hook up catheters into his neck, pump his blood into the ECMO machine, which puts in oxygen and takes out carbon dioxide. Then it cycles it all back in,” Alex explained as they finally entered a procedure room. 

They set up everything quickly and Alex coached Jo through how to hook up with catheters and get the machine going, “You’re doing great. You isolated that jugular and carotid, avoided the vagus nerve, and now you need to put in a venous drainage cannula.”

Suddenly the machines started beeping. Jo looked up at them before frantically turning back to Alex, “I didn’t even—“

“Switch with me,” Alex traded places with Jo swiftly. “He’s coding. You need to do CPR while I hook him up to ECMO.”

“At the same time? How will that work?”

“You need to start compressions now,” Alex instructed and proceeded to hook the baby up to the machines. “Stop… Go… Stop… Go… Stop… Keep going…”

Some time passed when Jo finally spoke again, “How long have we been going?”

“Twenty minutes.”

Seconds later, Arizona walked into the procedure room, “Hey. I heard you had a crash ECMO. You need my help? You want me to take over?”

Alex smiled to himself slightly. He kept forgetting that he was only supposed to be a fellow that was still learning certain surgical procedures, “No. I’m just connecting the circuit… okay. Initiate bypass.” Alex held his breath for a moment and then released it. “We did it. Son of a bitch.”

“It seems like only yesterday I was showing you how to do your first pulmonary hypoplasia,” Arizona smiled. “I hope you’re taking notes, Wilson. He’s one of the good ones.” 

Jo looked back and forth between Arizona and Alex before letting out a breath, “So, what’s next?”

“Well, now that he’s hooked up to ECMO, the baby has to be monitored 24/7. We have a long day and a long night,” Alex looked up from what he was doing to make eye contact with Jo. “You might want to go grab a power nap, princess.” 

“Ugh, really Alex? Again with the whole princess thing?” Jo rolled her eyes. “I thought we agreed to forget about that.”

“Hey, I wasn’t the one who said it. It was little Briana Ewell who said you looked exactly like Belle from Beauty and the Beast. I just so happened to agree,” Alex shook his head. “I don’t know why you’re so hung up on it. Most people would take that as a compliment.”

“It’s embarrassing,” Jo explained with wide eyes. “I don’t need people thinking I got to where I am today because I’m pretty and it was handed to me or that I slept my way to the top. I worked hard to get here.” 

“No one ever said you didn’t,” Alex paused. “But for the record, if anyone ever does, tell them to come find me and I’ll set the record straight.” 

“Oh, no way,” Jo laughed. “We do not need you doing something stupid like going and ‘protecting my honor’ or whatever.” 

“Just go take a nap.” 

***

“You sure you’re not asleep with your eyes open? You’ve been staring at that kid for an hour.” 

“She didn’t even want to see him. She cared more about her best friend’s stupid pizza party than seeing her child,” Jo’s face wrinkled in disbelief. In the before, Alex had made some insensitive comments about how she couldn’t possibly relate to the young girl’s story. This time instead of interrupting, he allowed her to continue. “I just… I don’t understand how you could care about a party more than the baby you’ve grown to know and love for the past nine months. How could you not want to see that baby and hold it and love it? A baby who has no fault in the decisions you made that led you here. Why bring that baby into the world in the first place if you don’t even care enough to sit by it’s bedside when it needs you the most.” 

Alex stood there in silence, unknowing what to say. This definitely had not happened last time. In the before, Jo hardly ever expressed her feelings about being abandoned by her mother until after she’d met her. These feelings though, made it clear to him that Jo had been contemplating whether she was worthy of existing long before finding out about how she was conceived. 

Sensing Alex’s surprise at her small outburst, Jo reached a hand out to touch the baby’s hand, “I’m sorry. I just can’t imagine what could be more important than your kid. If my baby were in the NICU, I would never leave it’s side. Not for a single moment.” 

“It sounds like there’s a story there,” Alex raised his eyebrows slightly. “If you ever feel like sharing it, you can trust me.” 

Jo took a deep breath, “I had a crappy childhood.”

“Me too,” Alex confided. He didn’t want to push her, but he knew that she might feel more compelled to open up if he shared first. “My dad was an abusive junkie and my mom was schizophrenic. So, when I was a kid, I became the parent to my younger siblings. I got them ready for school and made them food and helped with homework. I ran interference for my parents, I kept everyone safe, I took the beatings my mom and siblings were supposed to get. I even stole cars and food to make sure my siblings were taken care of. Someone must’ve reported it, because one day these people showed up and took us away for a few years. We got separated and I ended up with a whole bunch of foster parents who didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. Then at some point, I ended up in juvie. It’s a miracle I am the man I am today. Sure, I’ve got my flaws, but I never would’ve thought I’d become this.” 

“My mother left me at a fire station when I was two weeks old,” Jo started quietly and watched as the small child wrapped his tiny hand around her finger. “I got bumped around foster homes until I was sixteen when I took matters into my own hands and started living out of a car. I parked it behind the gym of my high school so I could sneak in and use the showers before class. My home ec teacher--Ms. Schmidt--she’d let me do my laundry there for free.” Jo laughed slightly. “Everyone asks me how I got into Princeton and Harvard while living in a car. They’d say mean things and start rumors that I’d slept with the admissions staff to gain entrance into their programs. But I got into good schools because I worked my ass off. And when I walked across that stage at graduation, I didn’t have a cheering section filled with family. I had one person, Ms. Schmidt.” 

Jo felt a tear run down her cheek and swiped at it quickly, “This little guy here just came into the world a few hours ago and he’s sick. All he needs is his mother. But she’s too busy talking to her best friend about pizza and cupcakes to even hold his hand. He didn’t do anything to deserve this. He doesn’t deserve to feel alone.”

“He isn’t alone,” Alex shook his head and reached over to squeeze Jo’s free hand. “He has you and me and the nurses. Who knows? Maybe he’ll be okay. But for now, we just got to make sure he’s strong and well-taken care of, okay?”

“Okay.”

***

It was alright for the most part. The little guy pulled through the night and was doing okay. Not that Alex doubted he would pull through. After all, the kid lived in his past life, so he figured that he’d make it this time around too. What wasn’t alright was that today was the day that this girl would abandon her baby with the help of her mother.

It was happening right now actually. As Alex was walking down the corridor, he could hear Jo’s voice rise in volume, “Woah, woah, hey! Hang on. You can’t just leave. You have a baby. She has a baby upstairs. He’s one day old.”

“Yeah,” the girl replied. “And he’s all messed up.”

“So you’re just gonna... You can’t--you can’t abandon him! No! You can’t! No!” Jo placed herself in between the elevator doors, blocking their exit. “No!”

“Let me on,” the girl’s mother frowned. 

“No!”

“You don’t wanna mess with me,” the woman growled.

“You don’t wanna mess with me,” Jo countered. The woman grabbed Jo by her scrubs, causing Jo to react and push her against the elevator. “No, stop. You can’t abandon that baby! You can’t do that!”

“Get off me!”

“No!” Jo shouted. 

“Let her go,” the teen girl trying to get in between Jo and her mother. 

“No!”

“Hey! Let ‘em go,” Alex came and pulled Jo off of the woman. “Let them go.”

Jo turned and glared at Alex angrily as the elevator doors closed, allowing the two women to escape. Seething with anger, Jo yanked herself out of Alex’s grasp and ran down the hall. 

Knowing that she would need a few minutes to calm down, Alex waited before going to look for her where he knew she’d be. He found her lying on a gurney in the tunnels he’d introduced her to a few weeks ago. It became their spot where they’d go to meet up and talk, hang out, or have lunch together.” 

“Look, I know this hit home for you and it sucks, but you can’t go around assaulting patients.”

Jo let out a sharp breath, “She was abandoning her baby.”

“I know,” Alex jumped up onto the gurney and motioned for her to scoot over so he could lie down next to her. He laid on his back and grabbed one of her hands, making comfortable circles on the back of her hand. 

“I’m just… I’m so angry,” Jo sobbed, the tears finally winning. “How can she not love him? I loved my baby so much even though I only knew about him for a couple weeks.” 

“Wait what?” Alex was confused. In all the time he’d been with Jo (both past and current timeline Jo), he’d never heard anything about a baby. “You had a baby?”

“No, well yes, but no,” Jo shook her head, tears still running down her cheeks. “I’m sorry. I’m not making any sense, right?” Jo paused, unsure if she should share this part of her story. She was nervous. What she was about to tell Alex, she’d never mentioned to a single soul before. “Years ago, I was pregnant. But the father wasn’t a good guy. I wanted to keep the baby, but it became more and more clear that if I did, it would never be safe. My life was too complicated and dangerous to raise a child. So, I went to a clinic all by myself and had an abortion. And I cried the whole time, because I had started picturing all of these wonderful things about what my baby would look like and be like. I fell in love with my baby. I wanted my baby. I loved my baby. But my greatest act of love was ensuring that it would never have to go through what I went through. I was a mom to that baby for less than five weeks and I loved it more than this girl ever loved her baby... I’ve never told anyone that before.”

Alex laid there in silence for a moment. He was surprised that Jo mentioned this experience she had, especially when she still hadn't brought up Paul yet and it was so early on in their friendship. The Jo from the before had always been very reserved when it came to sharing about her experiences with Paul. She continually attempted to pretend like it never happened rather than face it fully. She’d been through hell and it was understandable. So, hearing that Jo had had to have an abortion back while in her abusive marriage made Alex want to cry. 

He reached to wrap his arm around Jo’s shoulder and pulled her close, placing a light kiss on her forehead, “Jo. You have one of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. Despite everything you went through, you became kind and strong and loving. I know this hurts and I’m so sorry you had to go through all of that. But I promise, this baby will not be like you. We will get him into the database and we’ll get a social worker down here and we will make sure this kid gets a good home.” 

“You promise?”

“Yeah I promise.”

***

“Hey Alex!” Jo called out as she made her way to the parking lot. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Alex asked. 

“Nothing’s up… I just, I wanted to say thank you earlier today. That case was extremely difficult for me, but you helped me be okay. So, thank you.” 

“You’re welcome,” Alex cracked a small smile. “I told you it would work out. Those parents fell in love with him. He’s going to be okay and live a very happy, full life.”

“Yeah,” Jo sighed slightly. “I guess you were right. I’m glad that he’s got people.”

“So do you,” Alex took one of Jo’s hands in his own. “You’ve got to stop acting like you don’t have people. You’ve got people. You’ve got me. Don’t forget that.”

And although she’d been told those words in the past, for the first time in her life, she believed them.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Déjà Vu (Or are we losing our minds?) XI -Modern!Shirbert

A/N: Ngl This is one of my favourites -Danny

Words: 3,377

Series’ Masterlist

Previous Chapter // Next Chapter

Chapter Eleven: Everyone's enemy is on their wrist.

'She was not a chapter,

                 She was the whole story.'

The date had gone alright, though the girl wasn't very interested in having a second meeting. He couldn't blame her, he'd been absent half of the time. Whenever a red glimpse of something would catch his eye he would perk up in his seat only to be met with disappointment.

However, he lied to his friends saying he'd had a blast and maybe he'd go out with the girl another day, though he already knew that was never going to happen.

He fell face-first on his bed with a groan, not even trying to change into his pyjamas, and in a matter of seconds, he was fast asleep.

__________________

Anne was officially having a bad Christmas break.

She was alone in her room, binge-watching movies and bawling. Fortunately, Marilla and Matthew had decided to visit Rachel so she was alone, otherwise, they'd be very worried about her mental health.

She'd considered calling either Cole or Diana, but she decided not to, she didn't want to ruin their holidays. She could've called Jerry, but he'd said something about taking his siblings to meet Santa and Anne didn't feel like going out and being miserable in public.

So she was alone and crying to shitty rom-coms. It wasn't even that she was crying for Roy, she was just... lonely. She didn't need a relationship to feel whole, but Roy had taken advantage of her naivety, he'd tricked her into believing he was the one, only to crush every single one of her dreams by cheating on her.

In conclusion, Anne just felt like her first experience had been enough to obliterate all her optimism. Love was a decision. Soulmates were a scam, and she was a twenty-three-year-old destined to be alone forever.

__________________

Anne was moving into her new apartment and slowly building the life she wanted to have forever.

There was a little problem, though. Her soulmate was an asshole.

Now, you're not obliged to marry your soulmate, or to love them romantically. But Anne has always dreamed about her sweet, beautiful wedding, and she'd always dreamed it would be with her soulmate, so she was determined to make it work.

Roy didn't agree. He was a 'free soul', and he wanted to stay that way. Even though Anne loved him like she'd never loved anyone before.

Either way, Roy was her soulmate and -someone knocked on the door, Anne didn't hear it- it was her duty to help him see they were meant to be and—

The knocks became so insistent and loud that the ground vibrated under her feet. She took off her earphones and ran up to the door, thinking that maybe it was the pizza she'd ordered.

"Sorry!" She ran to get her bag. "Coming!"

When she opened the door, however, there was no pizza delivery. Instead, a very grumpy-looking man was glaring at her, and he was holding...

"Rusty!" Anne gasped.

"Your cat jumped on me when I climbing up the stairs!" He exclaimed.

"How do you know it's mine?"

"Well, because you're the new neighbour and this monster wasn't here yesterday," The man frowned. "And you just called it Rusty!"

"He's not a monster, he's playful!"

"Yeah, well, he didn't feel playful when he tried to gauge my eyes out!"

"Oh, you're one of those," Anne scoffed, grabbing her cat and gently placing him on the kitchen counter.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Her new neighbour scowled at her.

"You think cats are heartless beings that only wish to kill humans. As if humans are actually that worthy..."

He gaped and moved his mouth without actually speaking, then he just scoffed and turned around.

"You know what, I don't have time for this. I just came back from a nightshift and I'm tired, just don't let it happen again..."

Anne felt a sting of annoyance, who was he to boss her around?

The man left before she could say anything to him, but to her dismay, he barely walked a few meters before entering the apartment next to hers. That was not ideal.

"A little help here, Anne?" Diana called from the stairs.

The woman helped Diana carry the box, she also told her all about the unfortunate incident with the man living next door, and Diana let out a quiet gasp.

"You annoyed Dr Blythe? No, Anne! I was planning on asking him out!"

"It's not my fault he's an idiot!" She said defensively. "You can ask him out if you want, but I must say you can do better than a grumpy dude..."

"Gilbert's not grumpy! He was so kind to me when I came to see the apartment the first time! You probably had the misfortune to get on his nerves while he was sleep-deprived. He works a lot..."

Anne dropped the box abruptly.

"How did you call him?"

"What? Gilbert?" She repeated. "Well, that's his name."

"Ohohoh!" Anne hurriedly lifted her right sleeve. "No no no no Diana! You can't date him!"

"What?!" Diana got closer and read the thin letters across Anne's wrist. "Oh, c'mon, Anne! Just one date?"

"No! There's a reason I'll hate him, what if the reason is that he'll break your heart?" Anne hid the name and shook her head energetically "You can't date him."

The rules were simple. Two names tattooed on your body. One soulmate, one swore enemy. Roy was her soulmate, she'd loved him for years. This Gilbert was destined to be her personal headache for a long, long time. Which explained why Rusty had been so rude to him, he could probably sense the bad vibes.

"What kind of name is Gilbert, anyway?" Anne scoffed. "Sounds like an idiot..."

"He's not. He really isn't," Diana said, closing the door behind her. "Anne please, just listen to me, he's sweet and smart and he's a doctor!"

"And he's meant to make my life a living hell!" Anne finished.

***

All Gilbert wanted was to have a six-hour nap. Why did God hate him?

The girls moving next door were loud and continued to argue through the day, although he couldn't hear what were they fighting about. Either way, he just wanted to have a quiet evening.

He never got his quiet evening, that night nor the next four. The redheaded nightmare was always causing some kind of mishap, he could hear things falling and breaking, he even heard her scream 'Fire!' once and her roommate's voice going 'ANNE, NOT AGAIN–'

Anne.

He had that name on his wrist.

No no no no no no.

There's no way this girl was his soulmate.

***

It was 7 am on a Saturday and Anne was coming back from yet another sleepless night fighting with Roy. Her eyes felt heavy, and her nose was red from the cold and the crying. She was thankful she'd come home early, Diana was probably either taking a shower or still sleeping, but at least she wouldn't be able to see how messy she looked.

Just as she was reaching the landing of her floor, a figure crashed against her, sending her back down the stairs. Anne yelped and landed weirdly on her wrist. She heard Gilbert swearing loudly and rushing to her side.

"Great," She muttered in anger. "'Course you had to be here..."

"I'm so sorry!" Gilbert kneeled next to her. "Are you injured?"

"Just my pride," She replied bluntly. "Listen, doctor, why don't you leave me alone? I can take care of myself."

"How do you..?" He shook his head. "Nevermind. Please stop acting tough and let me help you, it's my fault you fell... though you should see where you're walking from time to time..."

"You're trying to help me or are you trying to make me hate you more?"

"Hate– Hate me?" He asked in surprise. "Why do you hate me?"

"Because you're my enemy, that's why!"

"What?" He frowned. "You think I'm your–?"

"I don't think, I know," She stood up hastily, refusing his help. "You, Gilbert Blythe, are my swore enemy. And you should know that by now, my name must be on your wrist too, take a look. I'm Anne."

Gilbert just stared at her, she could not tell what that meant, but it wasn't the spiteful glare she was expecting.

"Okay," He said after a moment. "...Yeah, if that makes sense to you..."

"What's that supposed to– argh!"

Gilbert forced her to sit back on the steps as he looked for injuries. When he found his broken wrist, he nodded once and stood up.

"You're coming with me," He said, grabbing her bag and hanging it over his shoulder. "C'mon, we have to fix that hand."

"I'm not going anywhere with you!" Anne exclaimed. "What if this is just a plan to kill me?"

"Oh yes, Anne. I just found out you're my enemy so of course, my first reaction will be to try and murder you," He raised a brow. "I'm taking you to the hospital, don't be dramatic."

Anne swore under her breath, but she didn't refuse his help this time as he gently pulled her up to her feet. Both adults walked quietly side by side until Anne spoke in a sort of childish manner.

"I need a nap..."

"That makes two of us," He huffed. "You are the loudest neighbour ever, I haven't been able to sleep at all whenever you're home."

"I prefer the term feisty," She said. "You could've just knocked on our door and told me to be quiet."

"Yeah? And you surely would've reacted in a gentle fashion, right?"

Anne turned up her nose, ignoring the sarcastic way he'd said it.

"Well of course! I'm not a monster! Even though you insist on calling me and my cat that way..."

"I never called you a monster," He said. "I called you loud. And rude. And–"

"Yeah okay, got it."

Once in the road, Gilbert remained silent, but she could feel him staring out of the corner of his eye. She kept her brows furrowed, not only because of him but because of her fight with Roy. She couldn't even remember what was the fight about, but she just knew it had been awful, and sometimes she just wanted to chuck that big head of his down the–

"We're here!" Gilbert turned to look at her. "C'mon, the faster we heal you the quicker you can walk away from your 'enemy'."

Anne stared at him without knowing whether if he was mocking or not. He seemed amused, but Anne didn't know why.

"Why are you acting like it's a joke? You know we're enemies, I'm on your wrist!"

"Well, yeah, there's an Anne on my wrist," Gilbert raised a brow. "But who says it's you?"

"Because I have you on my wrist! And Gilbert is not a common name these days, is it? I've never heard it until now, honestly–"

The man laughed, his whole face lit up and he looked away, slightly shaking his head.

"What?" She groaned. "What's so funny?"

"You're so upset about this!" He snorted. "You know that whole thing about enemies and soulmates is only relevant if you're like twelve, right?"

Anne had heard enough. Of course her enemy was going to be her complete opposite, of course he was going to be blunt and sceptic, and annoying and so so boring!

***

He knew Anne was his soulmate for the sole fact that the name on his left wrist was a man's. One that he knew already, and he disliked deeply. Although just like he'd said, hating out loud was a very childish thing to do. Or at least, that was his opinion.

However, he could not bring himself to clear things out. She was so determined on hating him it was almost cute, she was really trying. Besides, messing with his soulmate for a bit longer sounded fun, and she would find out the truth eventually, once she met her real nemesis.

He waited until Anne was fixed and ready, he didn't want to start his shift worrying about leaving her alone.

Anne was less pouty and defensive when she walked out, but now she looked overworked. She'd looked exhausted all morning, and he wondered if he was the real reason why she was so angry to start with.

"Let's get you lunch," He told her. When he noticed she was about to argue back, he added, "my treat! I pushed you down the stairs, after all. Consider this your payback, once we're even you can hate me all you want and I can, I don't know, try to poison your cat or something."

Anne stared at him in alarm.

" If something ever happens to my cat I'll kill you, Blythe."

***

Gilbert insisted on taking her home, and she was (regrettably) not as angry at him as before. That could always change though, enemies don't have to hate each other all the time, it'd be tiring.

"Did you mean what you say a while ago?" She questioned. "About soulmates and rivals not being relevant unless you're a kid?"

"Well... a bit," He shrugged. "What I meant to say is that you shouldn't let it consume you. Life is about way more than just the people you're meant to meet. And if you really think about it, it's just two people, you'll meet more throughout the course of your life, and who's to say you won't love or hate them more than the ones that marked you?"

Anne stared at him having nothing to say. It was weird, being rendered speechless. That doesn't happen to her often. Gilbert must've misread this, since he blushed madly and shook his head.

"I'm talking nonsense. Sorry, everyone always tells me that... Apparently, I'm too unrealistic to work in the medical field," He chuckled. "Like that makes me any less good..."

"I think that what you said was beautiful," It was her turn to get flustered. "Er... well, but you should check that narcissistic speech you've got."

"I prefer the term confident," He smiled.

"Sure you do..."

As they reached her doorstep, she stopped and turned, staring at him with a little frown.

"I gotta ask, Blythe. Any normal person would be at least a bit wary around their foe. Even if you are one of those who think 'keep your enemies close' is a wise move."

"You didn't ask anything," He said with a little smile.

"I'm getting to that! Geez," She rolled her eyes. "Why are you so unbothered about this? Do you... Have you not... you know, met your soulmate?"

"Have you?"

"Yeah."

***

He was not expecting that answer. He had to play it cool, though, so he tried his best to hide his disappointment.

"Oh."

Yeah, that'll do it.

Idiot.

Maybe he'd gotten two enemies? That'd be really shitty.

Then again, God really did hate him.

"Listen, Anne," He tried again. "It's a silly belief, you don't have to waste your time hating me if you don't want to. Honestly, I think it'd do us a favour, wouldn't it be better to simply stay away from your nemesis now that you know who he is?"

"I... I guess," She replied, but she didn't sound as certain as before. "So you really haven't met your person?"

Gilbert hesitated, then decided to keep up his lighthearted attitude.

"I mean, I met the other name a while ago, when I was in Highschool," He admitted. "But I'm starting to think that maybe I judged him wrong... although he was an asshole and I can't see myself spending my nights with such an idiot."

Anne let out a soft giggle.

"Maybe you were too harsh on him? Like I was with you?"

"Well, the thing is that I never liked him. From the moment I met him I just knew he was a fool. But wouldn't it be funny if I give him a call and end up falling for him now?" He snorted. "After all the stuff I said about him when I was a kid... Even gave him a nickname: 'Royal piece of shit'. It took me like five seconds. That's his real name. Royal."

"What?"

"I know, right? Who calls his son like that?"

"Royal?" She insisted. "As in Roy?"

"I'm pretty sure it's Roy as in Royal," He tilted his head. "Why?"

"Royal Garner?"

"Yeah! Wait– You know him?"

Anne hurriedly took off her jacket and threw it aside, showing him her wrist.

"I got him too!" Anne exclaimed. "But he's my... Oh my god! I hate him!" She laughed sort of maniacally. "I hate his guts! Oh god, I'm so relieved! I thought I was stuck with a shitty partner! Oh my..." She gazed down in sudden realization. "I've been holding back all my opinions on him because I thought he was my soulmate! I had a crush on him and when we started dating he turned out to be awful! I assumed you were my enemy because, well, I liked him first and I never thought I'd like my enemy! And I just straight-up disliked you the first time we talked!"

Gilbert was having a hard time processing all the information Anne was dropping on him.

"Wait," He said a bit stupidly. "Does that mean we're meant to hate the same person?"

"Yeah!" She said brightly. "I'm going to break up with him right now!"

She turned around and opened the door to her apartment, then stopped again.

"Are you free on Sunday?"

"Wha– Yeah, I guess?" He said, still trying to understand what was happening. "You're dating Roy Garner?"

"Technically yes, but that's about to change!" She was suddenly so giddy it looked like she'd absorbed all his energy. "I'll break up with him and then I'll take you out this Sunday– Consider it a thank you for paying my lunch today– And an apology for being such a shitty soulmate..."

"You're far from being shitty, Anne," He declared. He wasn't sure of what was going on, but it seemed he'd gotten a date with his soulmate, so he wasn't complaining. "See you Sunday, then?"

"See you!" She stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek before stepping into her apartment and closing the door.

"Okay," He mumbled, then let out a burst of nervous laughter. "Okay..."

__________________

Gilbert woke up in a wonderful mood. Bash and Mary thought it had to do with the girl he'd met yesterday, but they were wrong.

In Gilbert's mind, there was only room for a certain redhead, one he now knew the name of.

Anne.

However, as the day continued its course, Gilbert lost his spark. He was tired of just dreaming.

It sounded crazy, but he was sure this girl was real, and he'd seen her somewhere in real life, he just knew it...

And now he had a clue in the shape of none other but his Highschool rival. Royal 'Roy' Garner. What harm could come from trying? He'd be careful not to show any signs of craziness around his friends, that was all.

He was going to find her.

__________________

Anne's phone woke her up with a start.

'Gotta call Roy', She thought drowsily. When she realized that thought was stupid she took a moment to go back to reality.

Diana was calling, and she was asking for a night out with her best friend before Christmas.

When she hung up, her finger hovered over the picture she'd been reluctant to delete the day before. She pressed the button without hesitation this time.

"I don't need his pictures to remember, not that the memories were that good, anyway," Anne sentenced. "Just like Gilbert said–"

The young woman stopped mid-sentence.

Who the hell was Gilbert?

He's a doctor.

And... a prince? He certainly looked like one...

She was pretty sure he'd been the same working at a flower shop... and the coffee shop.

He was the guy in her dreams.

"What the fuck," She said with a soft chuckle. "I have a wild mind..."

Surely this was just another of her imaginings, after all, she was pretty good at dreaming things.

"Anne! Breakfast is ready!"

Anne got up, forgetting half of her dream as she got dressed.

"Coming, Marilla!"

Taglist.

@ninizkd @http-itsrebecca @fuckthisshitimoutyall @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​​ @little-boats-on-a-lake @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual @Skarlygonzalez

[etherealwaifgoddess]

One In A Million - Chpt.4

Summary: After a nearly perfect Thanksgiving Rose does her best to enjoy her final days in 1941 with the guys. As much as leaving will hurt, she takes comfort in knowing she’s doing the right thing. But sometimes, doing the right thing isn’t what you had planned. Content Warning for very brief sexual content.

Word Count: 3.5k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! There is a whole lot packed into this chapter and I apologize for exactly none of it. Especially the last bit :D XOXO  - Ash

Chapter Four

You had expected a month in the 40s to feel like a long time but the first three weeks fly by before you can blink. You’ve adapted to life there pretty easily, though you do miss modern conveniences from time to time. There are moments where would murder for a Starbucks and just ten minutes with your iPhone. It’s worth it though. You are getting to see life in a completely different time period and learning so much more than you expected. Macie has been a great friend both at work and outside of it as well. It’s refreshing having a close female friend who you actually get to see frequently. You haven’t had regular girl time since you were studying for your bachelors degree. 

Bucky and Steve have become fixtures in your life even though you know the risk you’re running with timelines and realities. It’s only a month, you keep reminding yourself. You can’t change someone’s life that much in just a month. 

The guys come over for dinner more days than not during the week, and on weekends you find yourself hanging out with them those days too. You refuse to show either man any preference, not that you would be able to pick between them if you tried, and you hope it will keep either of them from getting any ideas. You wouldn’t do anything to intervene with what they have anyway, they’re perfect together. They both make comments from time to time about taking you out on a proper date but you just laugh off their sweet advances as nothing more than joking flattery. 

Despite Thanksgiving being abnormally late due to the way the weeks fell, the holiday sneaks up on you and you find yourself scrambling to find a turkey that Monday. The SSR office will be closed for Thanksgiving and the day after, giving you an unexpected four day weekend. The prices on meat and butter are up due to it being war time but you planned well and get everything you’ll need to make a traditional dinner for the three of you. You even get enough supplies to make both pumpkin and pecan pies. You’re looking forward to seeing Bucky’s face when he tastes the pecan pie, his sweet tooth is ridiculous. 

The girls in the typing pool are given leave at noon the day before Thanksgiving. It’s a thank you from the senior agents for their hard work and the assumption that the women will be busy in the kitchen preparing for the holiday. You don’t complain as you’re still being paid for the full week despite the time off and you hurry home to get started on the pies. 

When Steve and Bucky arrive on Thanksgiving they’re barely speaking to one another and the tension is palpable. Both men are cordial towards you but don’t spare so much as a word to the other. You settle in around your dining room table and after a few niceties from them about your cooking, the room quiets to the point where only the scraping of silverware on china can be heard. 

“Okay,” you say, setting your napkin on the table, “I’m not putting up with this shit.” two sets of eyes snap to your attention. “What on earth are you two fighting over?” 

Steve glares at Bucky who sends daggers of his own right back. “Why don’t you tell her, Steve from Murray Hill?” Bucky snipes at him. 

“Don’t start this at dinner. Please, Buck. I won’t apologize for it.” Steve grits out at him. 

“One of you had better start talking or I swear I’m throwing the pies out the window.” you threaten. 

Bucky sighs and scrubs a frustrated hand through his hair, “Stevie here went and tried to enlist again yesterday. Earned himself his fifth 4F letter. Claimed he was from Murray Hill this time. Because he’s so eager to get himself killed overseas instead of listening to what his doctors keep telling him.” 

“I’m only doing what’s right. Good men are putting their lives on the line for our country, why should I be any different?” Steve challenges, his voice low and firm.

“Because damn it Steve, you are different! What do you think you’re gonna do when your asthma stirs up in the middle of a firefight? Or when you get pneumonia again from being out in the damp cold for too long? God, or what happens when those coke bottle glasses of yours break and you can’t see two feet from your face?” Bucky’s trembling by the time his outburst is finished and he gets up, heading outside for a smoke to settle his nerves. 

“I’m sorry we ruined dinner, Rose.” Steve says quietly, his head hanging in shame and defeat.

“You did no such thing. But Steve, another 4F? Really?” you get up from your seat and go over to stand behind him, leaning over to hug him tightly. You know this is part of his story but it doesn’t make witnessing it any easier.

“I have to. My pa served in the first great war and it’s my turn now. I’m just doing what every man should.” 

You measure your words carefully, “You know if the doctors are worried about your health it’s probably for good reason, right?” 

“I know, but I manage just fine even with everything I’ve got going on. I can do it, I know I can.” 

“I’m sure you could, but sometimes life has different plans than we do.” you press a chaste kiss to his cheek and squeeze his thin shoulders just a little tighter for a moment. “I’m going to go check on Bucky, see if I can coax him back in so we can eat.” 

Steve nods as you grab your coat and head outside. 

Bucky is leaning against the wall of your apartment building, smoking; thick tendrils of blue smoke wafting up from his lips to the sky. He has to be freezing, having hurried out without his jacket. He watches you walk down the steps and over to him, studying you as if to try and figure out if you’re there to take his side or push Steve’s. 

“Hey you.” you say when you get in front of him, giving his boot a little kick with your shoe.

“Hey.” his tone is guarded and he looks tired. Your heart clenches, knowing how worried he must be about Steve.

“I’m sorry you have to deal with this today. I mean… I get why he’s doing it. But it has to be hard for you to watch him do it.”

“It’s hell. He’s better than any of us, ya know? He wants to go do his ‘civic duty’ more than anything, regardless of what it’ll cost him. And here I am, terrified that my number is gonna be the next out of the fish bowl.” 

You pull Bucky into a tight embrace, holding onto him for dear life. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Bucky.” 

Bucky drops his cigarette and wraps his arms around your shoulders, hugging you back and letting your warmth leech through to his goose bumped skin. You want to tell him it’ll be okay but you know it won’t be. By this time next year he’ll have been drafted and off fighting in Azzano. Steve will keep trying until he meets Dr. Erskine and then it’s all history from there. 

You hold on for what feels like hours until Bucky finally pulls back. He gives a harsh sniff, his face ducked out of view and you suspect he’s hiding a few tears. You give him a minute, rubbing your hand from his shoulder to his elbow a few times in a meager offering of comfort. 

“You said there’s pie?” he asks finally.

You laugh at his question before pulling him in for a quick hug and a soft peck on the cheek. “Two kinds. But only if you eat your dinner first.” 

“Well then we should probably get back to it.” he slings an arm around your waist and together you rejoin Steve in the dining room. 

The air having been cleared, the rest of Thanksgiving dinner goes much better. You keep everyone's wine glasses full of the nice red wine you had found and stocked up on. It had been an unnecessary indulgence but you’re glad you had bought a few bottles to share. By the end of the meal their argument is long forgotten and Steve and Bucky are back to their normal bantering. You top off everyone’s glasses and move your little party to the living room to listen to President Roosevelt on the radio. The three of you are sprawled out on your sofa, limbs overlapping in a haphazard, yet comfortable, way. It’s probably not era appropriate in the least but the guys don’t seem to mind and you are too buzzed from the wine to worry. You giggle when you catch Bucky running his fingers through Steve’s hair and smiling down at him fondly. You wish more than anything you could tell them how sweet they are together, how absolutely right they are for each other, and that someday the world will be a friendlier place for their love. Instead you burrow yourself into the warmth of Steve’s chest and hum the tune of your favorite song, wishing you could hear it for a moment. 

“That’s pretty, what is it?” Steve asks when you’re done your sporadic humming.

“Ah, you haven’t heard of it.” you wave your hand dismissively, “We should go dancing.” you topic hop trying to avoid having to explain a song that won’t be written for another seventy years. 

“I’m in.” Bucky mumbles from the other side of Steve. “I’ll even keep Stevie from stepping on your toes.”

“It was one time!” Steve protests.

“I’ll wear sturdy shoes.” you assure them, “I want to dance with both of my guys.” 

Steve blushes lightly, “Oh, we’re yours now, are we?” 

You nod, the wine making you bold. “Yep. You’re stuck with me fellas.” 

“It ain’t a hardship, doll.” Bucky chimes in. 

The guys don’t stay late that night. While you have off work the following day neither of them do. You stretch out on the sofa which seems too big now that you’re the only one on it. Normally you would go out the weekend after Thanksgiving to start your Christmas shopping. You only buy big presents for a few close friends and you need time to have them picked out, wrapped, and shipped to arrive on time. You also pick up smaller things for the guys at work and you like to take your time picking things out so they are personalized for each person. You don’t have to do that right now though. It’s only October back in your real life and it’s not like you plan to take anything back with you. Well, not much anyway. You have a blouse you’ve become fond of that is absolutely going with you. There’s a lot about 1941 that you’re going to miss, both people and things. It’s going to be harder than you originally expected to go back to your time but you take comfort in knowing it’s for the best.

You end up spending the weekend hanging out with Macie. Bucky and Steve are going to see Bucky’s family for a late Thanksgiving gathering on Saturday and plan to stay over, getting back at some point Sunday night. It’s your last weekend in 1941 and you’re a little disappointed but that’s a feeling you’re just going to have to become comfortable with. You have less than a week left and a little distance from the guys might be exactly what you need, despite it being the very opposite of what you want. Your phone rings a little after eight o’clock Sunday night and you almost jump out of your skin. No one calls that late in this era. 

“Hello?” you say into the mouthpiece. 

“Rose! We’re back.” Steve’s voice comes through the receiver, a slightly tinny quality to his usual baritone. 

“Great! How was your trip? Is everything alright?” 

“I told you it was too late to call!” you hear Bucky shout in the background, followed by a thump sound and a hiss of pain. “Sorry, Rose. Everything’s fine. We just missed you, is all.”

“I missed you guys too. How was it with Bucky’s family?”

Steve tells you about their trip and a few anecdotes about Bucky’s sisters and how they tormented him as usual. The conversation doesn’t run overly long but hearing his voice, and a few choice interjections from Bucky in the background, have the ache in your chest dissipating. You invite them over for dinner on Wednesday, wanting to see them just one last time before you leave. It’s stupid, you’re only making it harder for yourself but you need to see them. One more time can’t make that much of a difference in the grand scheme of things.

Dinner on Wednesday is a lavish affair, you’ve pulled out all the stops wanting to make sure the last meal you make them is one they’ll remember. They fawn over your cooking and insist you come over one night soon so Steve can cook for a change. In the end, it’s no different than every other night the guys have come over. You laugh and talk late into the night, happy to just sit around and enjoy each other’s company. 

“We still have to take you out dancing.” Bucky reminds you as you’re saying your goodbyes for the night.

You nod past the lump that’s formed in your throat. “We do.” you agree. 

“How about Saturday night? We can get all dressed up and go down to the Stork Club.” Steve suggests. 

You fight back the wave of emotion rising up. Steve will be saying something very similar to another woman in about four years if the transcripts from the Valkyrie crash are accurate. “Sounds great.” you manage to respond, burying your face in the crook of Steve’s neck while you hug him. It’s excruciating forcing yourself to let him go. 

Bucky pulls you in for his hug next, “Wear something pretty for us, okay doll?” 

You nod against his chest, “I’ll put on my best dress. You won’t know what to do with yourselves.” 

“I can’t wait.” Bucky lets you go and turns to Steve who’s waiting patiently next to him. Slinging an arm around Steve’s shoulders the pair head out into the cold December night. You stay on the stoop watching them go until they disappear around the corner. It’s only once you’re back inside your apartment that you let yourself fall apart. It’s wrong. It’s impossible. It’s completely ridiculous, but you know you’ll be leaving two pieces of your heart back in 1941 when you leave. You barely make it to your bed before the tears start up and once they do, they don’t stop until your eyes are burning and your throat is sandpaper raw. Forgetting about your lights and the dishes you let your anguish consume you until sleep comes to claim you at last. 

You take off work the day of your jump back to modern times. It’s not like you’ll be needing the paycheck and you want time to get your apartment in order. Someone will come find it the way you leave it in a few days and you at least want to make things easy on them. You also want time to write a letter to Steve and Bucky. You can’t just leave without a word at this point, who knows what they would do to find you and how that might upset the timeline of things. It pains you to write them your goodbye letter but the closure is good for everyone. You claim you’re moving across the country to help your ailing Aunt, which seems like a plausible enough story for the times. You tell them how much their friendship means to you and that you’ll miss them. You tell them to take care of each other, wishing them only the best in their future. 

You’re wandering around your apartment, trying to find ways to kill time until your jump when you decide to make a pan of brownies to drop off with your letter. It feels fitting to leave them with one last treat. You still have all the ingredients and just enough time to make them. You get to work, not a minute to spare. Afterwards, having to re-clean the kitchen gives you something to do and fills your time while you wait for them to bake. By the time the brownies are cool enough to transport you have half an hour to your jump time. It gives you plenty of breathing room to drop off the brownies and the letter before heading to SSR. 

Steve and Bucky should both be at work but they never bother to lock their front door. You plan to leave everything on the kitchen counter and be on your way within five minutes when you arrive. A creaking, thumping sound is your first indication that something is amiss as you open the front door. The door is in mid-swing, your arms full of your bag and the brownie pan, when you hear a throaty gasp that stops you in your tracks. You’re standing in the doorway when you see them and you drop everything you’re carrying. 

Bucky is seated on the sofa, his pants down around his ankles and his shirt tossed carelessly off to the side. His head is canted back against the top of the sofa, an expression of strained determination on his face as his hips snap up against Steve’s. And then there’s Steve. He’s so beautiful, his hair shining in the midday light that filters in through the curtains. A sheen of sweat covers his naked body as he rides Bucky, meeting him thrust for thrust. He’s breathless and panting, his blunt nails scrabbling mindlessly for purchase against Bucky’s chest. It’s raw, hedonistic, and you can’t help but stare even as you drop everything in shock. At the sound of the pan and your bag hitting the floor both men’s eyes snap open to see you standing in the doorway. Bucky shouts your name and Steve flies off of him with a yelp, both of them equally frantic to cover themselves and chase after you. You grab your bag, leaving the brownies, and run down the street to the sound of Bucky calling your name. 

You don’t stop running until you’re outside the SSR office. You check your watch as you lean against the brick wall to catch your breath. You have just under ten minutes to get in and in position. God, but the looks on their faces when they saw you. You know that being a known gay man in the 1940s is as good as a death sentence and they have to be terrified you’ll turn them in. Friend or not, the ‘40s were not a forgiving time for homosexuality. And you’re leaving, they’ll never see you again so of course they’ll assume the worst. You look down at your bag where your goodbye letter to them is still safely tucked. It all went to hell so fast. You wish you had time to go back and tell them it’s okay, you won’t turn them in. You still care about them and you’re happy they have each other. You don’t realize you’re crying until you notice the tears falling on the pocket watch you’re still holding. 

You have four minutes to get to your jump point. It’s just not enough time. This is why there were alternative jump points, in case something went wrong. Well, something had sure as hell gone wrong. You can’t leave them like this, you just can’t. They’re too sweet and kind and good to abandon like this. You rub the antique brooch on your collar, you’ll just have to make the next jump instead. It’s only five more minutes in your world, the team will just have to be patient and wait. Your mind made up, you toss the goodbye letter in the trash and head down the street back to the guys apartment. 

“It’ll be okay.” you hear Bucky saying as you climb the stairs to their door, “I promise, sweetheart. No matter what happens, it’s gonna be okay.” 

The sound of Steve’s sobs tears your heart in two. You open their door unannounced yet again, letting the sound of it get their attention.

“So, are you two decent yet so I can come in or do you still need a minute?” you joke through your tears. 

Two sets of blue eyes stare at you in disbelief. 

“Oh come here you idiots.” you move towards them with outstretched arms, welcoming them to your embrace. Both men dive into your arms, clinging to you while muttering apologies and desperate thanks that you came back. You know that you did the right thing. Timelines and timing be damned. You needed more time with your guys and you’re gonna have it.

[human-trash-fire]

Beautiful Disaster: Chapter 5 (Pynch Soulmate AU)

Alrighty my loves, this chapter has been a labor of love from the beginning. As you continue reading you will see art pieces and each is correlated with a song (those will be at the end), and references yet again will be made to the EMFS playlist (Ronan’s rehab playlist- I’ve actually made it on spotify! you can find it here)

As usual you can find this story on Ao3 @ glam_reaper 2 if you’re interested <3

TW: Mention of suicide attempt, a panic attack though not super descriptive, cannon typical language.

Iv.

You,

I made a friend last week.

I know for most people that wouldn’t be a big deal, but I assume by now You understand what that means for someone like me. I guess “friend” may be a generous term? I don’t know if we are there yet, Blue definitely disagrees with him “on principle.” 

You see, President Cellphone as she calls him, or Richard Campbell Gansey III (I know, what a douchey fucking name) is all boat shoes and privledge and perfect teeth. Gansey isn’t someone I’d normally associate with mind you, Henry kind of met my quota for rich extroverts in the inner circle, and yet…

So, here’s the story. I’m writing my last letter right? And I was so fucking lost. I decided to walk home from Nino’s- I thought maybe it would help me settle. And there, right around the corner is this fucking ‘73 camero. It should have been beautiful, really.. A classic like that? It’s a dream to look at. Only this fucking thing is the UGLIEST color of candy orange you could ever imagine… And it’s blowing smoke all over the damn place. I was honestly going to leave boat-shoes to call his daddy or mechanic or what have you, but he looked so confused. I offered to help him out and was able to get it running long enough to get to Boyd’s.

I expected him to just drop off “The Pig” (the car) like any normal person and come back for it, only I apparently made “quite the impression.”

Gansey ended up staying with me, prattling on about his Masters History program and some welsh king the ENTIRE time I worked on the damn car. At first I was tuning him out, but without realizing it I became completely entranced by the whole story. I’ve never seen such passion for anything, and I have VERY spirited friends.

He has one of those voices you know? The kind that can stop a room, raise an army, lead a nation. The kind that demands to be heard without ever having to raise itself.

That’s Gansey though.

I think he’ll be good for me, I don’t think he’d give me much of a choice in the matter though to be honest. He kind of adopted me this week? That should bother me and yet, being around him is just… It’s being included. It’s a sense of purpose.

I think he needs it too, he doesn’t seem to talk about negative things but you can tell, he’s haunted by something. That’s what solidified it for me really. He may be a senator’s son but he’s seen some shit. 

I wish you could have met him, I wonder if you would have been as intrigued by him as I find myself. 

Blue is being a total idiot about him, but I’m about 82% sure it’s because she is into him. I know for sure the feeling is mutual. It took Gans approximately 15 minutes after meeting Blue to ask me for her life story, offend her beyond measure, and then haul ass out of Nino’s. It was the first time I’d seriously laughed in so long. Have you ever been second-hand embarrassed for someone? It was that. 

I’m going to wrap this up now though, I need to head to Nino’s for my shift, Blue’s working so of course Gans is stopping by. He said he’s bringing one of his best friends with him, some dude named Noah. Apparently he’s pretty cool, so I’m moderately less apprehensive. He said he wished he could bring his other best friend/ his and Noah’s third roommate but the guy is staying with family for a few months or something. Idk? He doesn’t talk about the other roommate much. I honestly don’t even think he’s ever said his name. Who gives a shit though, I can barely handle one new friend, let alone a 3-pack of Ganseys. Good God… I hope Noah isn’t another Gansey…. Fuck.

Welp.

Here goes nothing.

*****

It started with a not-so-subtle idea from the esteemed Dr. Allen. “Show me what happened.” Ronan was never great with words before all this, and since… When he spoke it was usually a litany of curse words. So Dr. Allen had suggested art. In the weeks since his entombment in this fine rehabilitation center, Ronan had kind of already been doing what he was being asked to do now. Though, he didn’t mention it to Allen. He’d spent countless hours sketching his life, the whole thing, in snapshots inside that beautiful leather sketchbook Gansey had given him. 

He started at the beginning, pictures of Aurora and his brothers, the Barns, his father playing guitar by the fire. He drew their family vacations, the cows he used to sneak out and sleep beside when he was a child, the feeling of winning the Tennis State Championship when he was 15. He drew the bad things too, his nightmares, his drug-trips, that old stained couch in the basement of Kavinsky’s house. He put every piece of himself, all 22 years of memories down in that book, woven together with song lyrics in the margins. 

So when Dr. Allen asked him to look specifically to his addiction and create, he didn’t see a problem. He needed to return to school with a series anyways, Declan had called to inform him that strings had been pulled to allow him to finish his final semester at Georgetown, but he needed to walk in with something to show at the January exhibition. Two birds, and all that.

He settled on 7 pieces, each done in oils on canvas, each accompanied by a song. 7 moments in the life of his battle with addiction, from the beginning to now. With each stroke of his brush he felt infinesmally lighter, pouring his grief into the images before him. 

It started with “The Fall.” His father’s murder in reds and greys; fracturing lines and deep shadows. He mixed his paints with tears and used his heart to drag color across the canvas. For the first time in years, Ronan allowed the memory to consume him. He’d re-lived it plenty of times in his nightmares, but this was different. His hands shook, jagged strokes of anger and confusion bleeding through. He painted the brief moment, the final moment, when his world was whole before his teenage mind finally realized what it was he was looking at. His last free breath. And he painted his screams, the cacophony of pain, endlessly mixing with sirens until his vocal chords gave out. 

He drowned the canvas in un-kept promises and hung it out to dry with childhood dreams.

Then came “Chasing the Void.” It was a story told in stark lighting. High beams on a backroad, swirling smoke and broken bottles. It was white glasses and white-powder lines on shark-nosed hood. It was going 115mph, bones rattling with the beat of the bass in his sound system. Ronan painted a black tattoo, used the blood on his knuckles to tint bloodshot eyes. His brush moved with his mother’s disappointment and his brother’s anger. Whimsical lines and Gansey’s head shaking when he found Ronan passed out yet again. He painted the highs and lows when sobriety reminded him that he hated the face that stared back at him in the mirror. 

Each new piece he added to the collection was brought to Dr. Allen’s office. Together they worked through each memory associated with the piece and slowly Ronan felt the weight on his chest lighten. 

Gansey visited every Monday and Friday like clockwork. He kept Ronan apprised to all the goings on of Monmouth and updates on Matthew and Declan. Ronan never asked for them, but he appreciated it regardless. His current obsession though seemed to be a new friend, Adam something. He had been going on for 30 minutes now about how this man single-handedly raised the Pig from the dead. Ronan tuned out most of the conversation, but nodded at what he assumed were appropriate moments while sketching.

“Ronan, are you even paying attention?” Gansey asked, irritation only slightly evident.

“Mmm?” Ronan hummed. “For sure. Pig. Smoke. Some new guy.”

“Essentially. I was saying that Noah and I are heading to his second job, the man works 2 jobs and is getting a masters can you believe it? Anyways Nino’s, so Noah can finally meet him and Blue. Have I mentioned her yet?” 

Blue? He thought. Who the fuck names their kid Blue. “Once or twice.”

“Well they both work this afternoon, so I assume we’ll just hang there until they get off. Then maybe grab a bite. I wish you could come, I’m sure you’d get along nicely with Adam.” Gansey said, choosing to ignore the previous sarcasm and barrell on. Excelsior. 

“Doubt it.” Guy sounds like a douche.

“On that note, thank you for another lovely visit. I’ll see you Monday, Ronan.” Gansey gathered his coat and made his way to the door with a final wave.

Ronan waved back with a single finger and a saccharine “Bye, Dick.” Then shoved his Airpods back into his ears and lost himself in the EMFS playlist.

*****

As Adam gathered the tub of dirty dishes from above the trash and made his way back to wash them, he was lost in thought. These last two weeks, recent events, had been so much and yet he strangely was beginning to feel some semblance of peace. He knew that Blue had wanted him to write letters to help him cope. If he was admitting to it helping, he also needed to be honest with himself in noting that it may have been hurting just as much. He was falling in love with a ghost. A figment of his imagination that he could tell his every secret too, someone who listened without judgment; Someone who never asked more of him than he could handle. It wasn’t healthy, wasn’t what Blue had intended, of that he was sure. But, if it brought him peace and allowed him to sleep without seeing cold, dead eyes, then what was the harm?

He rinsed the mugs and plates loading them efficiently into the dishwasher, and dried his hands. As he moved to toss the towel into the bin, he heard the bell chime above the cafe door. He made his way slowly to the front, knowing that Blue was currently handling the register meant that he didn’t need to rush. On his way down the hallway he stopped to straighten a missing cat flier on the community bulletin board, taking a moment to snap a picture of the cat in question so he could be on the lookout, then continued toward the front; eyes glued to his phone.

He rounded the corner towards the coffee bar to the tune of laughter, it seemed Gansey had arrived. His eyes found Blue first. For all her insistance that she loathed the man in question, she was positively glowing, head tossed back in a hearty laugh. Lost in the bubble of charm Gansey operated in. 

“-And so I asked him, mind you I’ve had a lot to drink at this point, ‘Hey senator, why do you fucking hate poor peo-‘ Oh! Adam” Ganseys story of embarrassing his mother at one of her Republican fundraisers interrupted, as he caught sight of Adam sliding behind the bar.

“Hey Gans,” He smiled. 

“My apologies, this is Noah.” Gansey stepped to the side to reveal the man in question, and Adam’s breath stopped. 

There, eyes blue and wide with shock, mouth agape stood the man from the alley. The one whose scream still haunted Adam in the dark, solitary hours of sleep. The one that began his every nightmare of that night.

He was different now, tears weren’t pouring from his eyes to dance across the plains of his smudgey face. His blonde hair free of blood was slightly tousled, and his clothes were clean, albeit a little disheveled. 

“No,” the word was a broken noise, barely a word at all, closer to a sob. Gansey and Blue looked frantically between the two for what seemed like an eternity before Noah spoke.

“It’s you…” 

“Who? Noah, you know Adam?” Gansey’s voice was quietly confused.

Adam began to shake his head slowly, increasing with speed as his breath finally returned to him; Erratic and wild. Crocodile tears blurred his vision, and he finally croaked a simple question, “What… What was his name?”

“Ronan.”

“Oh, god” Blue breathed. 

Adam ran, desperately fleeing the scene and chorus of his name called from the front. Ronan, his name was Ronan. Adam couldn’t breathe. His pain fresh, an un-mendable wound reopened now that he had a name to grieve. He paused, only long enough to grab his messenger bag from the back, and took the alley door. 

Then he ran, faster than he’d ever remembered running. Tears turning the colors of the world around him to a haunting watercolor. His breath came in painful stabs, each beat of his bleeding heart an excruciating truth.

He somehow made it back to his apartment. The moment the door closed behind him he fell against it and slid to the floor. Ronan Ronan Ronan-

“R-Ronan.” He spoke the name the first time aloud, the feeling of its weight on his tongue was an answer to a question he’d been asking for a month. For a lifetime.

Adam didn’t know how long he sat on the floor, grief taking time and twisting it in on itself. An amalgam of pain, hopelessness, and questions. Gansey, Gansey knew Ronan, knew Noah. Noah the boy he’d last seen carted away in the back of an ambulance covered in red red red. Noah, who’d screamed for help like the world was shattering. Noah, who’d clung tightly to the shredded arms of a bleeding man in a dark alley.

Help me, his mind screamed, his internal voice morphing into Noah’s from that night. 

Help me, I’m not okay…

A key twisting in the lock above his head brought his attention to the present. Adam pushed away from the door, and waited as Blue made her way into his dark apartment. Night had fallen sometime since he’d been here, on the floor, lost in the alley. Lost in a name.

“Hey,” she whispered.

“Th-that was-”

“I know. Noah told us after you left. Adam, there’s… Adam. I need to tell you something.”

It was a concentrated effort to drag his gaze from the space between their bodies on the floor to meet her eyes. Lights from the street poured through the window in the living room, painting Blue’s honey warm skin in a haunting glow. He couldn’t bring himself to ask, so he waited. He watched. She brought a trembling hand to his, her brown eyes lined with silver, she squeezed.

“Adam, he’s alive.” 

A sob born of heartbreak and pain tore from his chest, he couldn’t form words. He broke then, completely and wholly. Blue came to cradle his head against her chest as he cried. Every hope he’d killed since the alley came barreling to the surface; All the pain and confusion, love and questions, beating like waves against the shores of his mind. Some minutes later he finally raised his head and met Blue’s eyes, her smile was wet and broken. He dragged his hand under his nose, across his eyes, and finally found the word to the question he needed to ask. “How?”

So Blue told him. Apparently, him finding Noah and Ronan in that alley, the tourniquet he’d made of his scarf, that extra minute he’d bought him had been enough. The doctors were able to stitch his wounds, and though it had been a close call, he’d pulled through. She explained that he’d had a hard life, though Gansey wouldn’t give details because he insisted those were Ronan’s to share when he was ready. He did however give her basic facts. Ronan Niall Lynch is an artist, a senior at Georgetown. He’s an orphan, and a brother. He’s an addict in recovery at a facility in Arlington, and Gansey’s third roommate. 

Blue explained that, when Adam was ready Gansey and Noah wanted to meet with him, to talk more. She offered to accompany him when that time came, but they all agreed they wouldn’t push him until he was ready. “Thank you,” he’d said to Blue. For getting the information. For telling him. For allowing him space. She understood that his history made this difficult, an addict for a soulmate was something he would need time to process. She eventually asked if he wanted to be alone and when he’d told her “yes” she kissed his forehead, and made her way to the door.

“Adam,” she paused, and he looked up. “We’ll wait on your text okay? Whenever you’re ready. But please check in so I know you’re safe.”

“I will.”

With a perfunctory nod she slid back out the door. 

Adam spent another minute in silence before dragging himself from the floor. He made his way in a daze to his desk and he collapsed into his chair. Slowly, he pulled out a blank sheet of paper. 

His hand shook.

He took a deep breath.

He wrote.

V

Ronan,

You’re alive…

**********************

Art Pieces and their correlating songs (linked):

“The Fall”  The War- SYML

“Chase The Void”  For What It’s Worth- Malia J

[lovelyrocker]

Love Is Blind Ch.24

~ RPF

~ Characters: Jensen Ackles, Lexi Ackles(OFC), Jared Padalecki, Jesse(OMC), Bethany(OFC), Dr. Turner(OFC)

~ Pairings: Jared x Lexi(Sorta,kinda)

~ Warnings: Talk of Suicide, Talk of Alcohol abuse and Drug abuse, Slight Smut, Angst(of course), Mental Health Situations, 

~ Word Count:7,288

~ Un Beta’d - All Mistakes are my Own

~ *FEEDBACK IS GOLD*

Love Is Blind Masterlist

<Previous Chapter

Lexi had been in the hospital for going on seventy two hours. Other than the four hours Jared had left to clean up and try to sleep, Jared didn’t leave Lexi’s side. Between the blood loss an overdose, alcohol poisoning and her heart stopping, her body was going to need more time to recover. When Lexi woke she’d worked herself into a panic attack in Jared’s arms. Out of fear of putting stress on her already delicate heart,the nurses came in and sedated her in a mess of of rushed apologies and greetings of relief and tears. 

Lexi’s anxiety took over the minute she saw the bandages on her wrists, giving her a short lived calmness of seeing Jared. The realization of what she had done smashed into her like an anvil. She was filled with sadness and regret that she’d been so stupid. She wanted to apologies but couldn’t speak. He throat was raw and every sound felt like needles. 

The next twenty four hours Lexi woke  underwent dozens of tests. Neurological, to make sure her brain function was normal. Physical, to see how she was about to function. But most importantly, psychiatric. She spoke with a Psychiatrist for a bit, not saying much. She was still groggy through most of it and her body hurting from being shocked after her heart stopped.

Lexi was sedated again, resting, while Jared and Jensen sat diligently at her bedside. “You’ve been here for a while. Go home and get some rest.” Jensen told Jared.

“I’m good.”

“Jare,”

“Jay, I’m fine.”

“Go home, see your kids, eat, sleep.” Jesen lifted a hand when Jared went to protest.  “Don’t even. Doctor said she’ll be out til the morning, at least.” He looked down at his watch. “It’s nine pm. Go. I got this for the night.”

“Promise me that you will call if she wakes up?”

“You know I will.” Jensen assure his friend.

~

It was eleven PM now. Jared stopped by Genevieve’s t see the kids for a bit, then swung by Danneel’s to say a quick hi and pick up a few things from Lexi’s  room he’d thought she’d like.

Jared sat in his bed with Lexi’s journal in his hands. Why did he take it from her room at Jensen’s? He remembered the day he gave it to her. It was in Jensen’s trailer a few days after her sixteenth birthday. He had searched for weeks but couldn't figure out what to get his best friend’s little sister. He’d seen her journaling on set one day and noticed she was nearing the end of the small notebook. So he looked at all  the nearest bookstores but never saw anything he thought she would like. They were either too small or too bulky. Too plain, to girly, nothing that fit her style or her personality. That’s when he took the internet and design her a journal. One she could add to, one she could carry with her easily. She’d never used another journal since. 

He tapped his thumb on the cover of the black leather debating whether or not he  wanted to read it. Did he have it in him to invade her privacy? Would he like what he would read?  Lexi was currently laying half sedated in a hospital bed with four inch cuts on both her wrists. Now was not the time for privacy. Now was the time to find out why. More so, what could he have done to stop her. He opened it to a random page and began reading.

 I woke up this morning and for a split second I didn’t hurt. Then I remembered I’m 2200 miles from Jared. That’s when the empty sinking feeling set in.

He swallowed hard and flipped a few pages over.

Today was another bad day. Jensen keeps trying to talk to me but after what he did, I don’t care what he has to say.

Jared stood placing the journal down and went to the kitchen. When he walked back into his room he had a glass and a fifth of whiskey. He had decided that if he was doing this he was gonna need some liquid courage. He turned the pages to the beginning and began again. He mostly flipped and skimmed through reading over the entries.  It was mostly school, work, college choices, school boys, friends, normal teenage things. The handwriting was  different. Softer more carefree. Then he scanned a page that made him pause. 

I have a big problem. I think I have a crush on Jared.

He gave a small smile and kept reading.

Very cliche’ I know! Little sister having a crust on her brothers bestie. But it’s weird, i’ve never looked at him like that until I moved to Vancouver and I have no idea why. 

Then again, how could I not have a crush on him? The man is fucking gorgeous! 

Jared gave chuckle and flipped a few more pages.

I think I’m losing my mind. No way in hell was Jared flirting with me, right? It's in my head, it has to be! He is like  16 - 17 years older than me. That's almost two decades!! But then he looks at me with those piercing eyes and I suddenly forget how even breath. And when he touches me, my whole fucking body is electric. 

Jared let out another chuckle. He knew she made him feel like that but didn’t know that so early on, she felt the same way. 

I’ve never thought a kiss would make my heart literally stop. I feel like that everytime he kisses me. That can’t be normal, right? And I know he wants to take things slow but God, I want him. I know he wants to respect Jensen and I know he is scared because he has WAY more experience. But when we have sex its something that Ive never felt before. Even when we had sex the first time it was so different from with Chris. 

Jared paused just seeing Chris’ name on the paper. 

With Chris it all seemed rushed. Like he couldn’t wait to fuck. It was all pulling and rough. More focused on what he wanted.  Jared was different. He was gentle and careful. I could tell he wanted me but he also wanted to feel me. He took his time and made me feel like I was everything. He still does.

Jared downed his drink and flipped through a few more pages stopping when he saw the handwriting change again.

I hate feeling like I can’t control my life! Every always know whats better for me. Jensen knew better when he made me and jared break up. Jared knew better when he told me to leave and basically forget about him. What about me? What about what i want?! At least chris gives me the benefit of the doubt. He gives me the chance to make up my own mind.

Jared looked at the date and saw it was about three months after she’d moved to L.A. She was diagnosed around this time. He could tell the differences in her handwriting. It was a tell tale sign of her moods and her ups and downs. Jared adjusted his position and several folded papers slide out of the folded back of her journal. 

Dear Jared, I'm above the clouds right now on my way to Austin. My chest aches because all I can think about is you. I know Jensen thinks he is doing the right thing but how can it be right if you and I are hurting this much? The main reason I guess i'm writing is to let you know I get it. I get why you told me to go

Jared swallowed hard pouring another glass of whiskey before finishing and moving on to another paper.

Dear Jared, 

Today didn’t hurt as much. I miss your text messages and phone calls. 

Dear Jared,

I finally got out of the house for a few hours today. It wasn;t bad. Went to a movie with some friends. I was missing you by the end of the night. No one to tell my night to.

Dear Jared,

Tom reminds me so much of you! Gen came by with the kids today and even though she looks at me like she wants to kill me, I’m happy I got to see the boys.

It was letter after letter that she wrote as if she would be having a conversation with him. This was how she coped with not having her best friend anymore. Even though she knew she probably would never mail a single letter, she still wrote and told Jared about her days. The letters went from almost daily to a few a week. Then every few weeks until she left for L.A. Then the handwriting changed again. 

Dear Jared,

L.A. is nice. I’m sure it would be better if you were here with me. I’m managing to deal with everything pretty well. 

Dear Jared, 

  I saw Chris today. He is doing well and getting help.

Dear Jared,

I want to tell you how much i’ve missed you, how much I still love you. I’ve thought of the day you;d be standing in front of me again so I could tell you. But when I saw you I was so mad!

Jared fought back a tear as he kept reading.

You were worried I would recent you for being with you but truth is I recent you for not being with me.

Jared swallowed hard as he flipped to another letter. He saw one dated the night before she hurt herself.

Dear Jared,

  I’m sorry. For being so mad at you. For pushing you away. For such a headcase and making things difficult. I wish things would have been different. That they could have been different. Maybe things were supposed to happen this way. I don’t know. All I do know is you were one of the best things to happen to me. And I want you to know that I love you and none of this is on you.

Always, Lexi

She was saying goodbye. He took another long sip from his glass emptying it. Jared flipped through another handful of of letters and a few more pages of her journal before getting up from his bed, dressing and heading back to the hospital.

~

The nurse walked into Lexi’s room at six am with an I.V. bag of fluids. She was quiet as she walked through the room as to not wake up Jensen who was sleeping on the small couch in the room, feet propped up on the edge and his head on the other, arms crossed over his chest.  And, Jared was on his side next to Lexi in her bed. His head nestled close to hers on the pillow, arm resting across her belly, hand on hers. 

The machine beeped and Jensen blinked awake looking over at the nurse.  “I’m sorry, sir.” The young nurse whispered.

“It’s fine.” Jensen whispered back sitting up the couch squeaking waking Jared.

Jared climbed out of Lexi’s bed and looked at the nurse. “Everything alright?’

“Yes, sir. Just hanging more fluids.” The nurse said to Jared as she pressed a code into the machine. “Her vitals are staying steady.” She told Jensen as he stood next to the bed. “I have a few papers that need signing. I have two contacts on her list?”

“That’d be me.” Jensen raised a hand.

She held the clipboard in her hands. “Which are you, Mr. Ackles or Mr. Padalecki?”

Jared and Jensen both looked at the nurse then to one another in surprise. “SHe has me as an emergency contact?” Jared questioned. 

“More than that.” She looked at the papers in front of her. “You’re Jared Padalecki?” Jared nodded. “You and Mr. Ackles are on a form stating that if anything happens to Ms. Ackles all legal and Medical decisions are to be made by the two of you.” She showed Jared and Jensen a copy of the legalized document. “How are you two related?”

“I’m the brother he’s her boytoy.” Jensen told the nurse casually. “Ma’am when was this document made?”The nurse pointed at a date. “That the year she moved to L.A., look Ellie even signed as a  witness.”

“You didn’t know about this?” Jensen asked him and Jared shook his head. “I’m sorry,” Jensen told the nurse. “What do I need to sign?”

“The first two. It’s consent to treatment for the neuro exams and the other is for billing.”

Jensen signed the papers and the nurse left then he shifted his attention to Jared. “You really didn’t know.”

Jared looked up from Lexi. “Not a clue.”  He gave her hand a squeeze. “She is always full of surprises.” 

“What time is it?” They heard a raspy mumble.

“Lexi?” Jared looked down to see her squirming in the bed. “Hey, baby girl.” He cooed.

“Can I get some water?” She asked trying to sit up

“No, no, don’t sit up.” Jared held up his hands.

“Don’t push yourself.” Jensen handed her a cup with a straw.

Lexi sipped the water and handed the cup to Jared who placed in on the small rolling tray. “How do you feel?” Jared asked. 

“Tired. Kinda groggy.” Her eyes focused on her hands in her lap, instant tears welling. “I’m so sorry,” Both men were at her side in an instant, arms wrapped around her tightly. “I didn’t, I-I just wanted the pain to stop.” She sobbed into Jensen’s chest.  “I couldn’t stop it. It was like I couldn’t breath, my chest was so tight and heavy.” Lexi wet on looking up at Jensen. “I felt like I was on autopilot and once I’d done it, it all just went away.”  She looked between them. “How could I be so stupid?” 

“You’re not stupid, you’re sick.” Jared pulled her close.

“Lex, why didn’t you tell us you were bipolar?” Her brother  took her hand.

“Things were calm and good. For the most part.” She wiped her eyes leaving her head on Jared’s shoulder.  

Two more days past and Lexi began to regain her strength, slowly. She managed to get by with no brain damage but suffered from headaches. Her heart was undamaged as well but the doctor still insisted she remain taking this as slow as possible.  Her mental health was a different story.

“Hey, Jay.” Lexi spoke gaining both Jared and Jensen’s attention. “When can I go home?”

Jensen sat on the edge of her bed and took a breath. “I kinda been wanting to talk to you about that.” He took Lexi’s hand in his and looked her in the eye. “I talked to the doctors and they think that you should go to a place to get some help.”

“You want to send me to a mental hospital?!” Lexi shot up in the bed.

“No, no.” Jared said quickly sitting on the opposite side of her. “It’s a treatment center-”

“You’re in on this, too?!” She looked at Jared horrified.

“Baby girl, listen to us.”Jared said calming her as he placed a hand to her cheek.her face. “It’s not a hospital. It’s a treatment center, kind of like a mental health rehab. The doctors want you to get back on the proper medication and dosages. For that to happen you need to be monitored for a few days or so.” She shook her head in protest as tears threatened to spill from her eyes. “We would never send you somewhere if we weren’t absolutely one hundred percent sure it was a good place and you would be taken care of and safe. It’s run by the same doctors that run the practice I go to. I wouldn’t trust you with just anyone, you know that.”

Lexi looked from Jared to Jensen knowing this wasn’t a discussion. “How long?”

“Two, Three weeks, at least.” Jensen said with a small exhale.

Lexi shut her eyes as a single tear escaped. “Where?” She asked swallowing hard as she looked back at them. 

“Like I said, here in Austin. We’d be able to visit you while in treatment.” Jared told her.

~

By the next afternoon she was being shown to her room at the Austin Recovery Center. It was the last place she wanted to be but she knew it was something she had to do. Her room held two beds and was plain. The building was on the outskirts and on several acres of beautiful full green pastures. In fact, the place reminded her of an old ranch, without all the animals. 

Lexi spent the first few days in her room trying to be okay with the fact that she was away from the people that kept her sane. She’d cry then she’d get angry then she’d cry again. 

Her new shrink, Dr. Turner, was a brunette woman that had a bubbly personality. Reminded Lexi of herself a few years ago. Dr. Turner suggested Lexi began taking Lithium again and wanted to make sure the dosage was correct. Three session with Dr. Turner a week along with group every day. Lexi didn’t like the idea of group too much. She didn’t like telling her therapist things much less an entire group of people she didn’t really know.

Which brings her to where she is today. A week and a half of being in treatment and she still hasn’t opened up much. In group she hasn’t opened up at all. So she sat quietly in her chair, knees up to her chest, listening as the other patience spoke.

“I wanna know why the new chick never talks.” Jesse, a young man, early twenties, long, dark brown layered hair nearly to his shoulders and light blue eyes spoke. “Do you think you’re better than us?”

“Not at all.” Lexi shifted her eyes to him but moved nothing else.

“She speaks!” Jesse said lifting his hands. “I was starting to thing you didn’t have a tongue or something.”

“I just don’t like talking to people I don’t know.” Lexi answered still not lifting her head.

“Well, you’ve been listening to us babble for over a week. Don't you think you know enough to share a little?” Jesse asked moving his dark hair away from his face.

“What do you want to know?”

“Is Lexi your real name or nickname?” A girl, Bathany, a bottle blond, very thin, asked across the circle.

“Nickname.”

“What’s your real name then?” Jesse asked.

“Alexia”

“That’s pretty, why change it?” He asked.

Lexi simply shrugged. “A nickname my brother gave.”

“Why are you in here?” Bethany asked again. “Aren’t you a model or some shit?”

“Language.” Dr. Turner, who was leading the group that day, spoke.

“I did model, yes.”

“Then, why are you in here?” The girl asked again. “Isn’t your brother like really famous, too?”

“Yeah, he is.”

“You say that like money and fame fixes shit.” Jesse said towards the other girl.

“For some people it would.” The girl spat. “So why are you here. You’ve been sitting in group for almost two week and said nothing. You never talk outside of group either.”

Lexi looked at Dr. Turned who nodded her head as a sign of motivation to speak. “I tried to kill myself.”

“How?” Jesse asked sitting forward, curious.

“I  drank a bottle of whiskey, took a handful of vicodin and slit my wrists.” 

“Damn, you really wanted to get the job done.” Bethany said with a grin.

“Okay, that’s enough for today.” the Doctor spoke.

Lexi sat on the grass looking out at the flower filled fields across the property. The wind was warm against her skin as she watched the birds fly.

“So, you care for company?” Jesse said walking up.

“Sure.” She looked up at him as he sat down next to her.

“What are you doing out here alone?” He asked looking at her.

“I like the view. Jesse, right?”

“Yeah.” He nodded looking at her carefully. 

“How are your cuts?” She asked pointing to his bandaged forearms.

“Better. You?”

“Okay, I guess.”

“You really tried to kill yourself?” He asked bluntly as Lexi gave him a nod. “How and why?”

“I told you in group.”

“That was a watered down version.” He told her.

“I drank a fifth of whiskey then walked over to my-” She paused and corrected herself. “A friend’s house and took a handful of his pain pills. After sitting on the floor I took his razor and just cut.”

“Why?”

“I just didn’t want to feel anymore.” She looked at him. “The minute I heard my friend’s voice I knew I’d made a mistake but it was too late.” She took a breath. “Does that satisfy your curiosity. Is it enough info to run back and tell the little bitchy blonde in hopes of getting in her pants?”

“I-”

“I am not stupid. I learned how to read people years ago.” She turned her attention back to the field.

“Maybe I just changed my mind on that.” He was clearly intrigued.

“You’re not getting into my pants either.” She said with sass.

“Wow, you are a feisty one, aren’t you?” Jesse gave a cheeky grin.

“You have no idea.” A deep voice came from behind them.

Lexi turned to see Jared standing there with his hands in his pockets and a visitors tag clipped to his shirt. “Jared?” Lexi stood looking at him her heart began to race at the sight of him. The last time she saw him she was still in the hospital. “What are you doing here?! Oh, Jared this is Jesse, he is in my group. Jesse this is Jared-”

“The friend?” Jesse said with a smile looking at her. “Hey, nice to meet you.” Jesse extended his hand to Jared.

Jared shook his hand. “You too.”

“I’ll leave you two.” Jesse turned walking away.

Lexi turned to Jared and he gave a hesitant, nervous chuckle, clearing his throat. “Can I- can I hug you?”

“Of course!” She wrapped her arms around his shoulders.  “My God, I’m so happy to see you. I’ve missed you.” 

“I’ve missed you too.” He leaned his head on hers. He took a step back and looked at her. “You, you look good.”

“Liar,” She looked away trying to hide her redding cheeks. “I look like crap.” 

“Nonsense.” 

 “Come on, let’s sit.” She guided him to a bench.

“Seriously, you look great. Your cheeks are a perfect pink.” He said giving her cheek a small touch. “How do you feel?”

“Tired mostly. I have these really bad headaches. Doctors say it could be from my meds or from the trauma of all that happened.” She fiddled with her hands in her lap. . “I- I like the beard.”

“Yeah?” He ran his hand over his facial hair. “We finished filming like a week ago.”

“Ahh, so it’s hiatus beard time.” She said with a smile tucking her hair behind her ears.

Jared saw the bandaged on her wrist and gently took her hand. “Are you healing okay?”

“Yeah. They’re just itchy.” She looked up at him. “How about you? How are you with all of this?”

“I’m good.” He spoke and she gave him a look, a look he knew well. A look letting him know she didn’t believe him. One look and he gave in. “Alright, I lied. I’m worried about you.”

“I know.” She placed her hand upon his cheek. “But, you don't have to. I’m okay. I feel a lot better being on medicine again. It was adjusted to higher dose last week.”

“That’s good. I’m glad you’re sticking to the doctor’s instructions.”

“I should have never stopped taking my meds. I felt good. I figured I was better.”

“A lot of people do that. That’s why they tell you talk to a doctor before stopping your meds.” He placed his hand on hers. “Oh, Jay told me to tell you he misses you and you need to get your ass better so you can come home.”

“I’m actually surprised he wasn’t here with you.” She gripped his hand a bit. “He has been here every visitation day since I got here.”

“He called me and asked if I would like to come see you. I asked if he was coming but he said I could come just me.”

“Really?”

“I was just as surprised as you.” Jared told her.

 Lexi nodded. “I’m glad you came. So, Are the kids good?”

“Yeah. They actually ask about you a lot.”

“Awe, I miss them.” She smiled.

“Oh,” He pulled a few pictures out of his pocket. “I have something for you.”

It was all photos  of the kids playing at his place in Austin. “Oh, look at them!” She boasted. “They’ve gotten even bigger.” She said as she flipped through seeing different picks of Jared and Jensen with them as well as Danneel and Genevieve.

“Odette is starting to crawl.

“Is she?” Her eyes sparkled. “And the twins?”

“Are just like Jensen in every way.”

“Poor Danneel.” She giggled flipping through the pictures still. “It’s only been a few weeks but seems so much longer.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Here you go.” Lexi handed him the photos.

“Oh, no, those are yours to keep. I asked the doctor and she said it was okay.” He looked around and reached into his jacket pocket. “Actually. I have one more for you.” He handed her a picture of the two of them together from when they were together. 

Lexi looked at the picture of the two of them snuggled together outside by a fire. One of the few times they had gotten to be outside like that together. “This is one of my favorite pics of us.” 

“‘I know.”  He smiled down at her, the glimmer in her eyes filling his heart. “That’s why I brought it.”

“Thank you. It means a lot.”

The two hour visit went by a lot faster than they’d liked. We they hugged before he left, Jared held on a little longer, a little tighter than he needed. Just the feeling of having her in his arms, so warm and full of life. It’s what he needed after finding her cold and lifeless in his bathroom. Lexi could see in his eyes the longing he felt.

 Lexi sat in Dr. Turner’s office watching as the doctor settled into her position across from her. “So, you had a visitor today.” The doctor began. “Who was it?”

“Yeah, Jared.”

“How do you know Jared?”

“He’s a friend. Also my brother’s best friend.”

“Oh?” Lexi nodded. “Is that all?” The doctor challenged. “Just you and your brother’s friend?”  

“I don’t know what we are to be honest.” She said looking down at her hands as she picked the remaining nail polish off.

“Why is that?”

Lexi looked at her therapist and took an audible breath. “What I tell you can’t leave this room, right?” Lexi eyed her. 

“As long as you or anyone else isn’t in any danger, that’s correct.”

“So if I tell you some stuff that happened like two years ago, even though it’s not really bad but some people may not approve, you can’t say anything? Right?”

“Unless you’re hiding a dead body someplace, no.” Dr. Turner chuckled.

“Okay, um, Jared and I have… history.” She looked at the doctor. “Like romantic history.”

“I see. Why do you see that as a problem?” The doctor scribbled something down.

“Because I was a minor at the time. I - mean sorta but not really.”

“Oh?” Her eyebrow lifted.

“Not Like a kid, but I was seventeen the first time we slept together.” Lexi’s hands were sweaty as she rubbed them on the knees of her pants.

“How old was he?”

“Thirty two. And I know that sound really bad.”

“Lexi, why are you jumping to defend this to me? That’s legal.” The doctor asked as she wrote in her notebook again.

“Because,” She sighed with an eyeroll.  “I know what you’re thinking and what you want to say even though you can’t say it.”

“Is that so?” The doctor studied her for a moment. “Lexi, do people know about and Jared’s past?”

“A Handful of people.”

“Did they react unfavorable?”

“My brother threatened to have him thrown in jail for statutory rape.”

“You brother who is his best friend?” Dr. Turner added.

“Yeah. But that’s not the worst of it.” Lexi scoffed.

“I’m guessing the world wind love you told me about was Jared?” Lexi nodded. “Tell me What happened?”

“See, I was living with Jensen and Jared up in Vancouver where he worked. When he found out he made me move back down to Texas and forced us to cut all ties. When really hurt because Jared was my friend, he was my person, you know?” The doctor nodded. “And things just went south after that.”

“How so?”

“Well, first my sister-in -law Danneel through a party with Jared’s ex wife and Jared had to be there for support and all. That night we ended up sleeping together and the next day Jay found out. It was bad. That night Jared broke up with me for good.”

“That must have hurt you.” 

“It did.”

“When were you diagnosed?”

“A few months after I moved to L.A.” She watched as the doctor shook her head and wrote. “Why?”

“Lexi, can I be frank with you?”

“That’s kind of your job.”

Dr. Turned put her book down and leaned forward a bit. “When you’re symptoms began you were focused on Jared. That’s why you didn’t notice them. You were young and in love and it's easy to misplace the highs and lows.”

“So you’re saying, you’re saying I wasn’t in love I was sick?!” She looked at Dr. Turner neary horrified.

“No, no! That’s not what I'm saying! Not at all! I’m saying it seems to me, Jared kept you grounded. When you were forced to cut contact, you lost your anchor.”

“So you’re saying this is Jensen’s fault?” Lexi asked even more confused.

“I’m not saying that, either.” Dr. Turner held up a hand. “Do you feel like it’s Jensen’s fault?”

“No! I mean, I was mad at him at first but I understood and I’m over it now.” Lexi pushed her long, now auburn hair back from her face. “That was the first and only time I’d ever really been that angry at my brother. See, aside from Ellie, Jared was my best friend.”

 “And with Ellie off at college that left Jared. You began to go down and you had no one to catch you so you spiraled.” Dr. Turner” explained. “Lexi, tell me, when you hurt yourself, where were you?”

“Why?” She asked with a small shake of her head.

“You were at Jared’s?” The doctor saw the look of confusion growing on Lexi’s face. ‘Weren’t you?”

“How did yo-” Lexi shifted in her seat. “Uh, yeah, I, I to his house when he wasn’t home.”

 “Why?”

“Because I felt safe?” Lexi answered with no hesitation but paused, a look of extreme horror on her face and tears in her eyes. “And he, he found me.” 

“Did you want him to be the one that found you?”

“No, no, I just wanted to be somewhere I-I,” She quieted not being able to speak. The doctor saw her emotions flashing in her eyes as she recalled that day. “He sounded so far away but I could hear him screaming my name.” Her lip quivered as she spoke the sudden unexpected wave of emotions came down on her. “I could feel him grabbing me and begging me to wake up.” That’s when she broke. “Oh God, how could i do that to him? How could I let him find me like that?”

Dr. Turner moved  next to Lexi and held her. “Because you had no control at that point, it was your illness, not you.”

“He had crap he has to work through, too. How could I be that selfish?” Lexi looked up at her.

“Lexi, when you aren’t medicated and your illness takes control, it’s not you anymore. I’m sure he knows that. If he is as educated in mental health as you say, i’m sure he knows.”

Lexi’s mind was spinning. She’d always wanted to keep Jared safe. She never wanted to drag him into the mess she called a life. She felt as if she’d betrayed him. As if she let him down in the worst possible way.

That was the last time Lexi talked to Dr. Turner in recovery. That breakthrough was what Lexi needed to truly clear her head. She was released from the recovery center but wasn’t ready to be on her own yet in L.A. Although Ellie would be there, she felt she wasn’t at the point to be around all her old triggers. Since her mom and dad were traveling a lot due to her father’s work, Lexi opted to stay at Jensen’s instead of being home alone in Dallas. Lexi much preferred to be around family than alone in a huge house. Not to mention Jensen wouldn’t take no for an answer. 

Lexi would continue to see Dr. Turner in office one to two times per week and ground at least once a week. More if she felt she needed. Her group was similar to an A.A. group. Except instead of drinking the people were anxiety ridden. depressed self harmers. They even had sponsors of a type, “buddies”. Your buddy would depend on you in his/her times of need and vise versa. It gave them responsibility for their actions.

It had been two days since Jared was back in Austin having started filming again, and he still hadn’t contacted Lexi. So, being curious, that afternoon she made her way down the stone path along Lake Austin till she came up on Jared’s backyard. 

He was sitting in a wicker patio chair with his guitar in his lap. Lexi smiled as she walked up the path listening to him strum. Standing just feet away she stopped and watched him for a while. When he glanced up and saw her he stopped playing. “Lexi.” He placed the instrument down and stood. “What are you doing here?”

“I got home a few weeks ago.” She said with her hands in her back pockets. “I thought you would have stopped by when you got home the day before yesterday, but-”

“I was- I did..” Jared shoved his hands in his pockets. “I pulled in the drive but never got out of the car.”

“How come?”

“I didn’t know if I should. I didn’t want to mess up your recovery.” He admitted looking at his feet for a moment. “I’d only seen you the one time in treatment. I didn’t know if you-”

“If I’d be pissed at you now?” 

“Yeah.”

“So, you tell me you won’t push me away this time and you help me then completely disappear after I get released?” She waved a hand.

“You heard that?” He asked in disbelief. “You heard what I Said when you were unconscious?”

Nodding her head. “Most of it, yeah.” She took a step toward him. “Jared, can we talk?”

“Yeah. Come in, I’ll get you something to drink.” He motioned to the door as she followed him in. “Beer, soda, water?”

 “Water is good. I’m kind of staying away from alcohol for now.” 

 “Of course.” He shook his head in realization as he grabbed a water from the fridge. “I’m sorry, I-’

“It’s okay.” She smiled softly taking the bottle of water from him.

They sat in the living room, Jared making a mental note of her physical condition. Her cheeks held a pink tone again and her lips were back to their red shade. She seemed to have more charisma in her although she did have a cautious air about her.

Placing her bottle down she looked at Jared and raised her hand to his cheek for a brief second before grazing along his stubble. “You look good, Jare.” She told him with an exhale.

“Are you okay?”

“Jared, I came here to tell you how truly, unbelievably sorry I am.” Jared gave her a confused look. “I didn’t think about how finding me like that-” Taking a pause for a breath she looked up at him. “I’m so sorry I did that to you.” She tried to hold back the tears that insisted on rising.

“Don’t be.” He told her. “I’m not.”

“What? How could-”

“Because if I wouldn’t have found you then you wouldn’t have been here today. I rather deal with that then putting you in a casket, do you understand me?” He told her holding her face between his hands. “Listen to me.” He gained her eyes and focus. “I heard you. I heard you before the paramedics came in. You said you were sorry.” Tears threatened to rise in his eyes. “You said you wanted to take it back.”

“You could hear me?” Her voice a whimpered cry.

“Always.” He pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ll always hear you, baby girl.” Touching his lips to hers for a moment he pulled back and looked at her. “Lexi, I love you.”

“Jared,” She looked down finding it hard to concentrate or even breathe looking into his eyes. When she glanced back up his eyes drew her in. His touches, swift and calculated, felt like fire through her body when he touched her. “My God, I’ve missed you.” She whispered between sweet, simple kisses.

In a mess of pulling and grabbing, they traveled up the stared to his bedroom dropping clothes from the door to the bed. All Jared wanted was to be inside of her again. He needed it like he needed air to breath.

Sliding into her Lexi gripped his arms burying her face into the crook of his neck, the scent of him filling her, heating her already heated flesh. She tangled her fingers into his silky long hair giving a slight tug, her hips rising from the bed as Jared grinded into her never letting the bodies part. Sweat beaded his forehead as Lexi pushed away the hair from his eyes, his lips finding hers easily.

~

Now they lay in his bed with the hot Texas sun shining in through the balcony windows. Lexi sat up, the sheet still pressed against her body knees to her chest. Jared laid with an arm behind his head and his other stretch out caressing her bare back with his calloused fingers.

“What are you thinking?”He asked her.

She stared into the bathroom. “How stupid I was.” She looked back at him. “How much I’ve screwed up over the past few years.”

Jared leaned forward pressing a kiss to her shoulder. “Don’t apologize for being sick. That’s something you couldn’t control.” Lexi looked into his eyes and a pang of guilt hit her. “I miss this. You and me, being together.”

“Me too.”

“But Jared, I have to be honest with you.” She faced him. “I’m not supposed to get involved with anyone for a while.” Looking down she felt Jared’s fingertips grazing her bare arms. “It’s part of my therapy.”

Leaning back he looked up at her. “I know.” Her eyes darted to him. “Well, I didn;t know but I had a feeling it would be.”  He Cleared his throat shifting to the edge of the bed. “Listen, why don’t we get dressed and head downstairs.” He slid into his Saxx and grabbed his shorts. “I’ll meet you down there in a bit. Take your time.”

Lexi dressed quietly and made her way down stairs thoroughly confused. Rounding the kitchen she heard Jared talk and stopped just within ear shot. “Yeah, she’s okay.” She heard Jared say. “I promise I'll bring her back later.” Lexi took a step closer trying to see if she could hear who was on the other line. “Jay, i’ll keep her safe.” Jared turned and saw Lexi standing there. “I gotta go.” He pulled the phone from his ear and looked at her. “How much of that did you hear?”

“Were you telling him you just got done nailing his little sister?” She said hoisting herself up on the counter. 

“No, I wouldn’t-”

“It’s a joke, Jare.” She said with a smile. “So what was this? Just a quick hit before it's too late?” She eyed him. “What’s going on? If you knew I had conditions to my treatment why didn’t you stop what just happened?”

“Lex,” He grabbed her hand and pulled her from the counter and sat her in chair at the breakfast nook. “Listen, I need to tell you something.” He walked to a drawer and opened it. “I took your journal.” He held he worn book in his hand.

“Why?” She looked up from where she sat unsure what he was about to tell her. “Why would you do that>”

He placed the book on the table and sat next to her. “When you were sedated, I - I read it.”

Lexi looked down at her hands feeling her anxiety bubble to the surface. “You did?”

“And I found the letters.”

She stood from the table feeling mortified as she carefully pushed the chair beneath the table. “I should, um I should go.” 

“Wait, no.” He stepped closer to her and placed his hands on her arms.

 She backed away crossing her arms over her chest. “Please don’t.”

“I’m sorry.” He held up his hands. “I- I just, this isn’t going how I thought it in my head.” He huffed.

“You’re having conversations in your head but, I’m the one that just got out of the nut house.” She shook her head. “Hell of a match, aren’t we?” After everything her sarcasm remained.

He then ran a frustrated hand over his face. “Can I explain? Please?” He held out a hand for her to sit back down with him and she did. “I’m trying to tell you that I get it.” She gave another unsure expression. “I just,  I didn’t, I didn’t know I was, that you, ugh, damn it” He ran another frustrated hand over his face. “It was the same for me as it was for you.” He finally got the words out. “You kept me calmer, my anxiety was less, I felt like I could function on a whole new level when we were together. Even my bad days were good.” His confession poured out catching Lexi off guard. “I wanted to tell you that I know how it felt. It wasn’t just you. And, and being with you today, It was good to feel that again. Even if I know it won’t last.”

“Wow.” Lexi let the word out in an exhale. “I, uh, I think I should have went with that beer.” She chuckled.

“What? I, I mean, you’re not mad?” He asked astonished.

“Jared, if I was to trust my deepest more personal thoughts to anyone,” She reached taking his hand. “It’s you.”

Jared still held a guilty look. “I’m still sorry I invaded your privacy.”

“If you can forgive me for what I did, I certainly can forgive you for being so concerned.” Jared smiled at her and her heart fluttered. “Now what?”

“We focus on you getting better and know i’ll be here for whatever.”

“Jared you know I-”

“You don’t want me waiting for you, I know.” 

He kissed the back of her hands. “Just focus on you, okay?”

Next Chapter>

TAGS: @saxxxyjared @xostephanie @onethirstyunicorn @dreaminemz @squirrelnotsam​  @jbbarnesgirl @thevelvetseries​

[marshmallowgoop]

I write stuff, at times. I swear.

(Check it out! These are my research books and plot outline for this novel that I’ve been working on for nearly half a decade!)

So, it’s National Novel Writing Month, and I’ll probably be a little absent from this site for the rest of November ‘cause I’m trying to write a 50,000-word novel in 30 days and am also the boss lady (ML) for the event in my area and have boss lady things that I should be doing.

Buuut since my novel is my Kill la Kill fairytale AU (which I even have a tag for!), posting about the project isn’t totally procrastinating, right? 

Anyway, I’ve written drafts of this story for two NaNos already (2016 and 2017), and the first draft is basically getting totally flushed down the toilet, but the second draft is closer to what I wanna go for, so I’ve been revisiting it to see what I wanna do with my NaNo 2019 attempt. 

And did you know? Maybe kinda relevant to all the anon hate lately, one OC I wrote for the story is a villain that exemplifies a lot of what I hate about myself. Her situation is of course different than mine—I ain’t beautiful, lol—but her jealousy, vindictiveness, egotism, etc. are all things that I despise about me.

Like, I guess maybe you could consider her my evil self-insert. Pfft.

I dunno how much of her backstory will really be in the final draft, and it’s definitely way, waaaaaaaaay too much right now ‘cause it was written for NaNo and all, lol, but tl;dr, tl;dr, I guess one big message of my entire story is that being bitter and envious isn’t fair to anyone, destroys others and yourself, and I gotta knock that crap off or be just as awful as this awful, awful woman (who arguably literally caused some of the biggest problems in the book).

If anyone’s interested in reading, I’ve included her segment under the cut! (As well as a little segment about Senketsu ‘cause that’s just where it was placed ‘cause this novel is a disaster in terms of organization, lol.) It’s super messy and unedited ‘cause it was written for NaNo, and I only lightly cleaned up some grammar and placeholder names for this upload, but eyyy, I swear I do write creatively, sometimes!!

And maybe me being so honest about the stuff I hate about myself will do something for others, I dunno. I can only hope ^^; 

From Chapter 5, “About King Prasenajit’s Daughter Ugly Adamantina”

As it would happen, the curse that befell the beautiful empress’s princess was quite the complicated affair. If the man in the cave could have been there and could have known, he might have begun the story by speaking in great length of a woman from a kingdom far beyond the Kingdom of the Reed Plains.

The woman, you see, was a magnificent, wondrous healer. She knew her medicines and herbs better than anyone had ever seen, and she knew how to combine them better than anyone had ever seen, too. And so it was said, as it may be imagined, that she was a prodigy of her craft, and she was a genius, and she could only be a miracle doctor sent from the gods.

But it was not purely the healer’s knowledge that made her well known throughout her kingdom and others. The healer, much as the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains, was also extraordinarily beautiful. People would come from far and wide to set their eyes upon her, just as people would the empress, and those who were lucky enough to be her patient would say, in great sincerity, that the healer’s beauty alone was enough to cure them of all sickness and pain.

So you must imagine that when the empress sent for all the best doctors and healers in her land and lands far beyond that this miracle doctor was called for. The healer received the invitation one quiet afternoon, and she tried her very hardest to hide her displeasure as she listened to the empress’s messenger speak.

All those with the healer were left open-mouthed by the messenger’s letter. They oohed and ahed, and then they very quickly turned their attention to the woman to whom the letter had been addressed to.

The woman smiled her politest smile, bowing before the messenger as though the messenger herself was the empress

“It is a great honor that you have come all this way,” the healer said, and she hoped very heartily that her irritation did not seem apparent in her voice. “I am much humbled to be called upon by the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains herself, and I pray for the empress’s health and happiness, and for the health and happiness of her child.”

The healer rose from her bow now. “However, I cannot leave my patients, and so I must decline.” She bowed again, her dark hair falling over her shoulders and concealing the cruel smile on her lips.

Silence fell over the room. To decline a royal order was unheard of, and the poor messenger seemed at a loss for what to say to the woman’s refusal.

Everyone’s eyes had fallen upon the woman. She was no longer smiling. There was a great sense of dread building inside her, as though she had swallowed an entire snake whole.

It was a royal order, the healer realized, even if it was not a royal order from her own country.

And so, with another great bow, and knowing that there was nothing she could do, the woman said, “Please forgive my manners. I will be on my way.”

The healer did indeed travel to the empress’s kingdom. It was a long journey, quite uncomfortable if the healer could say so herself, and all the while, her human heart grew colder and colder.

To help the empress of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains! the healer thought to herself. It was the very last thing she could have ever wanted because, you see, she was quite worn of hearing of the empress’s beauty.

“They say, good healer,” she had been told, time and time again, “that she is even more beautiful than you yourself!”

The healer had to listen and listen to such sentiments and always smile so politely back at them, as though she truly liked to be compared in such a manner! It was a disgusting thing, the healer thought to herself all throughout her journey to the Kingdom of the Reed Plains. Not only did she have to go so many ri away from her homeland, but she had to use her skills to help this woman who could not possibly appreciate her own beauty!

How could she ever appreciate her beauty as I appreciate my beauty? the healer asked herself. Only small people came to tell the healer of her wondrous looks, you see, and the healer always adored every single one of her admirers, but the empress was adored by big people, and very big people came to even catch a glimpse of her, and she could not be like the healer herself, the healer knew, because she had to be very haughty and condescending and must surely not be thankful for the great gift of beauty she had received!

But I am thankful, the healer told herself, and she continued to tell herself this as she went on her way. She thought to herself that someone as high and mighty as the empress did not deserve her talents, and a woman like that also could not understand what it would be like to be born ugly, because a woman like that could never, ever appreciate what a great gift beauty truly is in the cruel, inhospitable world that they both lived in.

It is here, then, that the healer began to entertain a great, terrible idea.

She thought to herself, It would be most wonderful, if the empress’s child is born hideous!

And so the healer laughed to herself, and she thought herself quite amazing to consider such a thing, but she never did consider the thought anything more than a thought.

That is, you see, until the healer first arrived at the empress’s palace.

#

The story of the bitter-hearted healer is a story that the man in the cave could not tell you.

The man in the cave could also not tell you about love between humans and demons to Satsuki or anybody else. That is also a story the man does not know.

Perhaps, too, he does not want to know.

But the little red demon knows this story. It is the story that fills his blood and built his bones, and it is the story he will dedicate his life to believing.

Indeed, to the little red demon, the story that the man in the cave tells Satsuki one day—of demons and humans as mortal enemies where peace is impossible, and only one can be the victor—feels as wrong to the child as a waterfall that he has never seen flowing backwards, up a cliff.

But it is this story, you see, that the little demon heard time and time again from his mama’s setsuwa and stories.

“Why is it,” the red demon asked his mother one day, long before he catches his sister prepared to drink their mama’s blood and long before he comes across the young Ryuko collapsed in the snow, “that in all of Mama’s tales, the demons want to hurt the humans?”

He had thought at first that it was simply the case of a few villainous demons. There are surely many stories where humans play the role of the evil force that must be vanquished. But the demon soon saw that humans were allowed to be heroes and kind princesses and great shining beauties. All demons ever could be were empty-headed and ugly and horrible, ravenous beasts.

The demon saw, too, the way his mama’s face would turn red in the same manner in which his face would turn green as she told him, “Do not let these stories about the bad demons make you feel as though you are destined to be bad and nothing more. There are many good demons, too.”

But Mama could not seem to tell the little red demon a single story she had heard about a good demon.

Mother had been at the loom when the red demon asked why it is the demons must always be the villain. She was weaving, chan, chan, chan, karin, and this she continued to do as she answered the little demon’s question, her amber eyes fixed on her work.

“Those stories are very ordinary human stories, my love,” she said. “If I were to tell you demon stories—and I could not, I must say, because I am not very much good with words like your dear mama—then you would see that the demons see the humans as the humans see the demons.”

The red demon was left very confused indeed. “But why would the humans and the demons want to see each other as evil?” he asked. “Isn’t it ordinary for humans and demons to be together?”

Mother still did not look the little red demon’s way. She seemed distant, as though a thousand ri away. “No, my love,” she said. “Your Mama and I are... not very ordinary at all.” A smile was on her lips as she told him so, but she seemed almost sad at the statement, as though the admittance of being unordinary brought a sort of pain, the kind that the demon would come to feel when he looks upon the fallen girl in the snow.

“Demons and humans are not meant to mix,” Mother said. “That is what everyone will tell you, both humans and demons, and even the little birds that come to visit this home will tell you, too.”

The little red demon still did not understand. The situation became ever more puzzling to the child, as incomprehensible as the world saw the red demon’s very existence.

“But you are very happy together,” he said. He frowned, the usual chan, chan, chan, karin of his mother’s loom no longer the soothing sound of his childhood but an anxious rhythm that the demon could not free from his mind.

“No, we are very happy together,” he insisted.

Mother laughed. “Yes, my little smart one,” she said. She patted the demon’s head, careful to avoid the horns that were just growing from his scalp. “But most people, my love, human and demon alike, do not believe it is possible.” She smiled again, though it still looked strange and distant, and she took her hands from the loom where she had been weaving, finally turning her eyes upon her son.

The little demon saw that she had been crying.

“Most people,” she said, “believe it is a curse for a demon to let a human into their heart, and for a human to let a demon into theirs.”

Mother turned her wet eyes away from the little red demon. “But I would do it,” she told him, unwaveringly, as though speaking a grand declaration no matter the quiet whisper of her voice.

And the red demon felt it was more to herself than to him that his mother then said, “If she would let me, I would grant her every wish and keep a piece of her within me, always.”

#

A story the man in the cave does know, as it would happen, is the story of how demons hold within them the power to grant any human’s wish.

This, you see, is a story that more humans once understood, back when the Kingdom of the Reed Plains had not been cursed to be covered in an endless, inhospitable snow that would not disappear and could not disappear.

It was a story that the bitter-hearted healer who had gone to see the empress had known, and she considered this story her first evening she spent in the beautiful empress’s palace as she peered outside to the lands that were not her kingdom and not anything much like her home country.

If I would give my heart to demons to have a wish granted, she thought to herself, I would not have my wish be to make the empress’s child born hideous.

But it would be such a nice thing, she considered some more, if I could truly make such a reality with my own two hands.

Another healer interrupted her thoughts with a great curse of her own. This healer was unabashed in her complaints and did not keep them locked deeply away as the bitter-hearted healer did.

This healer said, “I am number 37, can you believe it?” She expressed a great many more curses, crossing her arms and pouting in a manner that the bitter-hearted healer could not help but find quite admirable.

“I am number 43, myself,” she said. She smiled politely, as she was so very used to doing in her practice. “I am sure I will not be able to return to my home kingdom for quite a long while yet.”

At this, the other healer offered a sympathetic look. “Oh,” she said, and she shook her head, as though ashamed of herself. “I live very near this palace, and here I have been cursing!”

“You have every right to be upset,” said the bitter-hearted healer. She tried very hard to restrain herself from clenching up her fists at the thought of the beautiful empress and how that woman had successfully called her to this wretched palace.

The other healer smiled at that. “I most certainly do have all the reason in the world to be upset!” she said. “Calling upon so many healers and doctors! You must forgive our empress.” She lowered her voice, until she was near whispering. “She is just very afraid of losing a fourth child, you see.”

This the bitter-hearted healer understood perfectly, and had the empress been another, uglier woman, perhaps the healer would have been meant it, when she said, “I wish the best for her and her child.”

“With all these healers and doctors, there won’t be any need for wishing,” answered the other healer, and then she was quite quiet for a moment before she added, “To tell the truth, I wasn’t happy with my number because I wished to return to my family as soon as possible, but also....” She paused, as though bashful. “It’s maybe a bit silly, but I’m afraid I won’t even be able to meet the beautiful empress with my late number! I was hoping to make my family very jealous for getting to be in the same room as her!”

The bitter-hearted healer’s smile slipped, just slightly. She then made her smile all the brighter as she answered, “I have heard that she is quite a sight.”

“So the talk of her beauty goes beyond even our little Kingdom of the Reed Plains!” cried the other healer. “I so wish to see for myself.”

The healer then looked very carefully at the bitter-hearted woman.

“I hope you don’t mind my saying, Miss, but I almost find it hard to imagine a woman prettier than you.”

The bitter-hearted healer’s smile became very wicked. “You flatter me!” she said. “I am sure I cannot hold even a candle to the empress’s beauty.”

“I suppose we will see about that,” said the other healer.

But the bitter-hearted healer very much did not want to see about it. She had only been in the empress’s palace a few mere hours, but already it seemed an eternity, and so there came the time when the bitter-hearted healer—surely not thinking clearly, mind you—left her room that night and walked very resolutely to the palace gates. The other doctors and healers looked at her quite oddly as she did this, and the guards of the palace questioned her quite thoroughly.

“It is unwise,” said one of the palace guards, “to walk the streets at night, when the demons are about.”

The healer considered it might almost be a blessing, if she could be eaten by demons and never have to come before the horrible empress she did not want to see!

But the healer smiled very politely, as she was so very used to doing from her practice. “My number is very far off, you see,” she said, and she showed the guard the parchment with 43 written cleanly upon it. “I have relatives not far from this palace, and I would very much like to spend the night with them, if you understand.”

The guard shifted uncomfortably. “I understand...” he said, “But you were to come here, on royal orders—“

“And I will return,” said the bitter-hearted healer. Though she had interrupted the man, the tone of her voice had become sweeter than sugared honey. Her impertinence almost seemed kind.

“Yes, I hear what you are saying,” said the guard, and once more he shifted uncomfortably, “but you must understand....”

He could not finish his words. The bitter-hearted healer ran fingers through her slick black hair. She batted her eyelashes, only a small amount. “I know it is dangerous,” she said, “but I am a healer, and I am very good at what I do—as I am sure you know because I am standing here before you right this moment!—and if any demon were to try to hurt me, I could heal myself in just an instant!”

The bitter-hearted healer bowed down very low before the guard. “Please, good man, I am begging you to let me go.”

It was with a great hesitance that the guard did exactly so.

But the truth is that the bitter-hearted healer had no family in that kingdom. She knew no one at all in the Kingdom of the Reed Plains, and she entertained the thought that she could run away to a new settlement somewhere, perhaps by the mountains, and then she could avoid ever seeing the empress and ever living with the shame from refusing a royal order from a kingdom allied with her own.

The person she was at that moment could be considered lost. She could start a new life, and she could become a healer even more renowned than she had been in her backwater hometown. The healer’s head buzzed with ideas, bun, bun. Of course she could start up a new business someplace far away! She was so beautiful that she would quickly become the talk of the town no matter where it is she went!

This thought brought the bitter-hearted healer to stop in her tracks. No, she thought, she could not become the talk of the town in a town where the only beauty anyone could speak of was an empress who did not appreciate her beauty nor deserve it!

The healer clutched the lantern she had taken with her on her journey away from the palace quite tightly. Why did all her thoughts keep returning to such a terrible woman? Even when she had been thinking of the new life she would build for herself, the healer could not help but think of the empress.

She frowned to herself, all by herself in a great kingdom with a wondrous empress, in the forest just beyond the palace, no less, and she thought to herself that she must be such a pitiful sight that even demons would take pity upon her and spare her life should they ever find her.

The bitter-hearted healer, however, did not realize that she was so stuffed full of bitterness and cold that she smelled quite terrible to the demons who were indeed wandering about the Kingdom of the Reed Plains that night.

“That atrocious stench is ruining all the wonderful ones,” the woman heard a demon complain (though she was not aware that it was a demon speaking because the healer did not truly expect to come across demons in her great escape from the palace).

Zushin, zushin, the healer heard, thud, thud, stomp, stomp.“It must be another cold heart,” said another demon (that the healer again was not aware was truly a demon at all).

But it is quite disconcerting to hear voices that you cannot see the source of in the midst of the night, and so it was then that the healer, whose heart was beating very quickly at that moment, raised her lantern and shone it all around her.

“Who is there?” she asked. The light danced all about the darkness, and when it settled upon a face, the bitter-hearted healer was rather surprised that this face was a considerably good-looking face.

She was even more surprised when she saw another face besides the first face that was equally attractive, and indeed perhaps even more so.

“Ah,” said the owner of the first face, who looked to the bitter-hearted healer to be a young woman with eyes that sparkled like bright red rubies.“So it is you who are making this horrible, ghastly stench all throughout these lands.”

Of course, it is even more disconcerting to hear a beautiful stranger in the woods describe you as smelling atrocious, and so perhaps it is not unusual that the bitter-hearted healer felt her bitterness grow and grow within her, puffing out and expanding much like her medicinal breads did in the ovens back in her home.

She said, “Well, now, how terribly rude! I will have you know that I have traveled quite a long way!Even the bath that I have been offered in this kingdom has not treated me well, it seems!”

The owner of the second beautiful face, who seemed to the bitter-hearted healer to be an older woman with great red lips that were a deeper color than even the setting sun, shook her head at the healer, her long, dark hair brushing against her shoulders and elaborate flowered kimono.

“You misunderstand, Miss,” said this second beauty.“No amount of sweet soaps or fragrances or wondrous baths could save you from this disgusting stench that falls off you much as snow falls from the sky.”

The second beauty lifted her chin up very high.“This reek feels even more endless than snow, too,” she said.

This, too, made the bitter-hearted healer even more bitter hearted than she had been before.

The two beauties coughed before the healer could even begin to speak.

“You are making it worse!” said the first woman. “It is no good to upset a human who already smells so terrible.”

These words were the first that the bitter-hearted woman could perhaps smile at. She said, “Come now, are you traveling storytellers looking for refuge by the palace? It is quite funny of you to try to include even your audience as part of your story, but I must confess that I do not have a single coin upon my person at this moment.”

The bitter-hearted healer laughed, and the sound was surely as horrible a sound as her heart was a horrible heart and her stench was a horrible stench. “I must say, though,” said the bitter-hearted healer, “that it is not quite an appealing act to begin by insulting your audience and then continue by calling them 'human' as though you are not humans yourselves!”

These words made the two demons laugh quite heartily indeed, gera, gera, ha, ha. They laughed much more heartily than the woman, and they laughed much more genuinely, and when they had finished this laughter and wiped the tears from their eyes, the younger beauty smiled in a way that the bitter-hearted healer did not find so attractive.

Indeed, she found the grin quite terrifying.

Because, you see, the bitter-hearted healer saw that this beauty had teeth that were perhaps not quite so beautiful. There were long fangs, sharp, and it seemed very much to the healer that she was looking straight at the smiling jaws of a great monster.

“As though we are not humans ourselves!” repeated the once-beauty. The strange creature laughed once more, looking less and less beautiful to the bitter-hearted healer with every second. Its form seemed to distort and mutate before the bitter-hearted healer, and the sight was to the woman very hideous and unsightly, but somehow, you see, she could not look away.

And so it was that the bitter-hearted healer watched with wide eyes as rosy skin changed to a slick blue, shiny, dark hair became as long and wild and white as snowflakes in a great storm, and the once-beauty seemed to grow several feet, towering over the bitter-hearted healer with eyes that the healer then realized to be the shining eyes of a demon.

She also realized that they were the shining eyes of a very hungry demon.

The bitter-hearted healer, in her immense fear, toppled to the ground with a great gasp, haa, haa, wheeze, pant. Her lantern shattered, and the flames jumped out, lighting the leaves scattered upon the forest floor on fire and threatening to burn the trees as well.

Here the demons’ laughter was quite diminished.

“Look what you have made the foolish human do with your silly sideshow display,” said the older beauty. She had shifted her form as well, now bearing the appearance of a massive, red-haired blue demon clad in tiger skins, with three great horns upon her head.

She stomped out the fires with her feet, zushin, zushin, thud, thud, and the younger demon only helped with what the bitter-hearted healer would have considered reluctance, if she had the mind to think clearly. Soon enough only a small bit of flames remained, and this the younger demon held in her hands as though it was a small, fluttering little heart.

“It must be strange to you to see that flames do not burn us,” said the demon, perhaps not knowing—or perhaps knowing very, very well—that the bitter-hearted healer could think nothing on how a demon would not be burned by flames.

“As it would happen, silly, stinky human,” she explained, “demons are not affected by the cold or the heat like you flimsy creatures.”

The bitter-hearted healer could not quite take another moment of this torture. Her heart was nearly threatening to jump out of her chest, beating so very quickly, baku, baku, thump, thump, because, you see, though the healer had often come face to face with death in her practice, she had never given very much thought to the idea that she could truly, actually be the one facing death one day!

She pressed her head against the singed, cold ground with her hands in front of her and said, “Oh, please, demons, please, please spare me! Once you understand my sad tale, you cannot possibly wish to eat me!”

Of course, the bitter-hearted healer did not understand the tale of the demons themselves (and this she would never understand, much as the man in the cave would never understand the love between demons and humans, but, ah, that is a story for quite another time). The bitter-hearted healer did not understand that the demons she had encountered that fateful night were demons from a smaller settlement, and she did not know that this settlement had grown very tired of hunting humans and so had pledged, with great sincerity and passion, to refrain from ever tasting the sweet flavors of human flesh and blood ever again.

It is easy to say that the bitter-hearted healer could not have understood this tale, and it would be correct to say so, because no human in all the Kingdom of the Reed Plains at the time could say that they knew of the demons within their own lands who had sworn off eating them forever. But the bitter-hearted healer would also not have understood this tale should she have ever been told it, because, you see, to the bitter-hearted healer, a demon was a demon, and demons ate people, and there was nothing anyone could do about it.

However, the bitter-hearted healer did think very much that she could avoid being the human the demons chose to eat, if she were only clever enough.

And so the woman pushed her face even farther into the dirt (which she didn’t quite think possible), and she said, “You would understand my tale, too!”  The woman’s voice absolutely dripped with desperation, and there was enough that the demons could scoop it up with their hands and drink and be filled. “You are very beautiful demons,” the woman cried, “and my sad tale could only be understood by those who understand the gift of great beauty, and I know very well that you understand this gift!”

Now, the demons had no desire to eat the woman or even drink her blood on account of their pledge, and truth be told, they would have no desire to eat the woman or even drink her blood had they not been bound by such a pledge. There was such a terrible, ghastly stench coming off the woman and her cold, frozen heart, and the demons were quite sure that, should they even attempt to eat her, she would taste as terrible and ghastly as she smelled.

The bitter-hearted woman could also not have known that the younger demon entertained the thought of wiping her tongue off on the bark of trees after tasting someone as disgusting as the woman who sat crouched before her, and indeed, she would not have even considered such a thing. To the bitter-hearted woman, all that mattered was her beauty, and as her thinking went, beautiful creatures must also taste quite delicious, and so she must have seemed quite the delectable treat to the two demons before her.

As the bitter-hearted woman saw her situation, she would have to try her very, very hardest to not be eaten.

The demons played along with the woman. “A tale, you say?” asked the older demon woman. “Perhaps you are the one who should be the traveling storyteller?”

In all her fear, the bitter-hearted woman thought herself at least wise enough to agree with a demon when asked such a question. “Perhaps, perhaps!” she agreed, though deep inside she could not imagine being in such a lowly, silly, worthless profession as a traveling storyteller.

The demons tried very hard to refrain from gagging at how the woman’s stench became much more terrible with her lie. They continued to play the woman’s game.

“We shall see how skilled you are,” the younger demon woman said. She still held the flames in her hands, coaxing the fire as though it were a small animal.

“Yes, yes, you shall see!” cried the bitter-hearted healer, and she then told her story in the best manner she could muster. She spoke of how the beautiful empress did not deserve her beauty and did not appreciate it, and she spoke of how all the empress deserved was a hideous child, and she said that she had half-considered running away from this horrible place and starting a brand-new life because she quite abhors ungratefulness, you see, and the beautiful empress is surely the definition of ungrateful!

The bitter-hearted healer could not have known how the demons reacted to her story. She could not have understood how the two looked at each other with great plans and ideas blooming in their minds, and she could not understand the language that they spoke to one another in quiet tones, because to the bitter-hearted healer, you see, the language of the demons sounded much the same as the go-o, go-o of the wind.

And so after the bitter-hearted healer had spoken all she had to say, she stared a great, long while at the two incredible creatures before her, knowing all too well in her frozen heart that there was nothing else she could do.

But it was such a long, painful time that the demons spoke to one another, and as you might imagine from a woman who believed very sincerely that she was at death’s door, the bitter-hearted woman became quite consumed by fear. Though there was a great bitterness inside her that would not go away, there came too to be a great terror.

How horrible and unfair is everything! the woman could not help but think, tainting her scent ever more as her heart grew ever colder. Here she had not only come to the ungrateful empress’s kingdom to do her a great deed, but on her first night in the supposedly beautiful empress’s lands, she is held hostage by demons and sentenced to death! Her great kindness to come to the empress’s aid had only resulted in her very downfall!

And so the bitter-hearted woman fumed quite thoroughly to herself, and her bitterness grew and grew, and the demons spoke more and more quickly because, you see, they were not so certain how much longer they could stand being so close to such a cold-hearted, cruel woman.

It was only once the bitter-hearted healer became very convinced that she was going to be eaten on the spot that the older demon woman said, with a hesitance that the woman did not recognize as hesitance, “You have told quite an amazing story indeed.”

The bitter-hearted woman thought immediately upon hearing these words that the demon was genuine in saying them, and she would have been correct, to an extent, because the demon woman did find her tale amazing, in a sense.

The younger demon woman said, “We like your story very much, and we would like to help you! It is true; a cruel fate has come upon you, and it is not fair that you have been sent away to this kingdom! To think that you have been sent all this way to help such an empress as the human empress that reigns in the Kingdom of the Reed Plains! It is disgusting! Despicable!”

At these words, the bitter-hearted healer could have broken out into tears, and it is only the older demon’s next words that keep her from doing just that.

“If you would come with us, just a ways, we can make it so your dreams can come true,” she said.

The bitter-hearted healer felt the great relief that had only just filled her dissipate away, tainted. Her fear came back, and this fear was a terror so great that it felt to the bitter-hearted healer to be almost as tangible as the rain that began to fall upon her at that moment, zabun, zabun, plop, plop. With dread and anxiety building deep within her, the bitter-hearted woman considered many possibilities for what the demons planned to do now.

They were discussing which of my body parts they are going to eat, she thought to herself. They are going to take me back with them to their home, and they are going to enjoy me while they drink away all the water in the river that they must live by, because of course demons must live by a river! I am going to die here, and these demons must consider me quite foolish, to think that their compliments and kind words are enough to tempt me straight into the jaws of death!

The bitter-hearted woman grew more and more bitter, but she smiled very kindly at the demons, the way she had become so accustomed to from her practice, and she knew that even in the rain, she looked very beautiful when she smiled.

“I will go with you,” she said, and she got to her feet, and the demons smiled back at her, though even the bitter-hearted woman could sense that these smiles were not fully kind.

And so the bitter-hearted healer went with the demons because there was surely nothing else she could do, and she thought to herself that when they stopped and tried to devour her whole, she could perhaps kick their teeth, or perhaps they were thinking of saving her for another day, in which case she could steal their shoes and surely run a thousand ri in just a moment.

On and on the bitter-hearted healer’s thought went in this way, and she was so very preoccupied with her illusions that she did not notice at first that the demons had stopped. The bitter-hearted woman had only the little flickering light of the demon’s fire (that had somehow not been extinguished in the rain) to use to see in the darkness, but it seemed to her that they had stopped before what the healer recognized to be an herb garden much like the one she had back in her own backwater hometown.

“It is exactly what you believe it to be,” said the younger demon. The older demon then proceeded to pick from the garden something that the healer could not recognize, even with her great skill and beauty at her craft.

The bitter-hearted woman wondered briefly if whatever it is that the demon had picked would be used to make her tastier, or perhaps it was poison, and the demons truly had been moved by her tale and wished for her to have a peaceful demise rather than be swallowed whole.

It took everything the bitter-hearted woman had to not shudder terribly at this thought.

But the older demon explained, very matter-of-fact, what it was in her hands. “We do not grow the same herbs as you humans do,” she said. “Demons are much stronger than humans, with hearts that are much lighter, and we are far more advanced in our medicines.”

The bitter-rated healer did not believe this in the slightest, but she smiled her very politest smile. “I would very much like to learn more about your herbs,” she said, though she wished to say, I want absolutely nothing to do with your cursed medicines because they would be sure to poison me and all my patients!

“Unfortunately for you, I cannot share the demons’ secrets with a human,” said the older demon. “But I can provide you with this herb, to present to the empress.”

This the bitter-hearted healer found very surprising indeed.

“An herb to present to the empress?” she repeated, a strange sensation of excitement filling her no matter the fact that she was surely just seconds away from being tricked into her own demise by demons.

“Yes,” said the younger demon. “If you present this herb to the empress, her child will be born very, very healthy, because we demons have healing magic, you know, and we have the power to cure nearly any ailment known in the world just using our own power. You must imagine that our medicines are capable of much, much more.”

The bitter-hearted healer felt her excitement wane. Her polite smile fell to nastiness, and this she did not even make the slightest attempt to hide. “Why in the world would I want to give the empress exactly what she wants?” she asked. It seemed so very horrible, and she considered herself such a very sad creature, to be in a position where even the demons sided with a disgraceful, ungrateful empress over her! Was she not beautiful enough to be given whatever it is she wanted? She, who so respected and was so very grateful for the gift of beauty that she had received from the gods?

And though the bitter-hearted woman did not take any note of it, the older demon would think that perhaps she was too harsh with her next words, but she could not help it, you see, because it is a demon’s curse to be extraordinarily honest, even if humans could not comprehend nor understand this honesty.

She said, “We would hope that even the most wicked of humans would not wish for a child to be born so sickly that they perish shortly after birth,” but then she shook her head and said to the bitter-hearted empress, who smelled even more terrible at this point and seemed very much to be fuming, “But we would like to make your dream come true, healer from a faraway kingdom.”

The bitter-hearted healer crossed her arms and surveyed the demons quite thoroughly now. “Are you saying?” she started, and she could not quite finish, even if that was quite unbecoming of a beautiful lady.

“Yes,” said the younger demon. Her face was lit up by the flame that still danced in her palm. “If you give this herb to the empress, her child will be born uglier than any human and far uglier than any demon.”

A great, horrible smile came upon the bitter-hearted healer’s face at this revelation. She very gladly took the herb from the older demon, and she even more gladly presented this herb to the beautiful empress when she returned to the palace to a very relieved guard and when it came to be her turn to come before the terrible empress who had brought such pain and misfortune upon her life.

“Take this,” the bitter-hearted healer said very confidently to the empress, smiling her very politest smile that she had grown much accustomed to smiling from her practice. “Place it in your tea, and be sure that the tea is very warm, and your child will be born very healthy and very lovely.”

The bitter-hearted healer, you see, was not like the honest demons. She very much relished her lie, and her very politest smile would have seemed distinctly not polite, had anyone looked closely enough.

But no one looked closely enough, because the bitter-hearted healer was simply a small healer from a faraway kingdom, and though she was a great beauty, no one could be bothered to look her way, not when in the same room as the most beautiful empress in all the world.

However, perhaps the woman’s heart was not as cold as the demons had seen it, because even this bitter-hearted healer felt within her a sting of remorse as she stood before the empress. In the woman’s mind, you see, the empress was surely not as beautiful as she was made out to be, but this silly empress held herself up as though she was the most beautiful creature on all of the Earth! The bitter-hearted healer almost felt sorry for the poor creature, left thinking that she is so amazingly lovely when she is so clearly not.

And yet, as it may be expected from a tale such as this one, the bitter-hearted healer’s small bit of remorse was not enough for her to treat the empress properly, as she would one of her own patients back in her hometown that the woman found herself missing in increasing amounts, and so she kept her smiling as the empress thanked her for her work.

The bitter-hearted healer, of course, did not know that it was not the demons who had made it so the medicine would cause the princess of the Kingdom of the Reed Plains to be born horrifically ugly. She could not know, and she could not understand, because she did not realize her own bitter-heartedness and would never understand it, not for as long as she lived (and this, you see, was not a very much time longer).

“Humans with hearts as cold as this woman,” the old demon had said to the younger demon, back when they had first heard the healer’s sobbed tale, in a language that the bitter-hearted healer did not understand and could not understand, “are capable of tainting even the strongest medicine with evil, but it is they who suffer the most from their bitterness. A human heart is not meant to be cold. Humans are not designed for the cold as we demons are, and a frozen heart can only beat for so long before it wears itself away with its darkness.”

And so, perhaps it was not odd that the bitter-hearted healer did not live to see the day that her tainted medicine had done its work, and the empress’s daughter was indeed born as hideous as a snake. The healer was a miracle doctor from the heavens and a healer who could heal all, it seemed, except herself. The bitter-hearted woman’s coldness made her incurably ill upon returning to her kingdom, and the people sighed for a moment at her passing.

“She was quite a beauty,” the people said, because it was quite sad to lose someone who looked so lovely, just as it is quite sad to lose a lovely flower to an unseasonal bout of cold weather. “It is a shame to lose her and no longer see such a lovely face.”

But as all beauty eventually fades one day, so did the memory of the healer, who, you must understand, was not truly especially skilled at her craft, and indeed, had relied heavily on the skills of her not-so-pretty assistants whose stories the world did remember far beyond their time.

And so the bitter-hearted healer’s tale was forgotten, and when the time comes that a man in a cave tells this story of the beautiful empress’s ugly daughter to the Crown Princess Satsuki, not a soul remains who remembers the bitter-hearted healer at all.

[greyias]

This is not fair of me to ask, I'm sure you have plenty to do, but there is this post on reddit titled, "Is there an enjoyable way to read about SWTOR plot? I have fallen ill right after playing Umbara and I would very much like to know why certain someone did what he did, but I am unable to play and wookiepedia is quite a dry read. " He explains he has seizures from playing video games. I was wondering if you had something written that would help him out, or maybe you could write something?

Oh no, that poor guy! That really sucks to be invested in a story and then not be able to see how it turns out!  I’m going to guess videos/playback of them have a similar issue  🙁 

I totally will agree with him that Wookieepedia is definitely dry, but I’m going to boldly put this statement out here: it’s also incorrect.

At least the articles on Fractured Alliances were (and a few other TOR era articles I came across), to the point where I actually got really angry reading them because the assumptions were just so... blatantly wrong. And not well sourced. (This is a strange hill for me choose to die on, but I will go defend it nonetheless.) Granted I haven’t looked at them in several months, so it’s possible they’ve been updated since then? 🤷‍♀️

I haven’t written a full write-up on what happened in Fractured Alliances, but honestly I’ve been meaning to? Because the Wookiepedia articles irked me that much, I feel like someone needs to rant at length and correct them. I’ve just, erm, got a bit lazy and distracted and haven’t done so. Mostly because there’s actually a lot to cover, and a lot of misconceptions to correct, and sourcing is hard yo.

BUT! I can do a cliff’s notes version really quick to get him some answers. Although if it’s possible... maybe just link him this post in private if possible? Mostly because there’s some pretty big edgelords over on Reddit, and they make me tired (which is why I stopped even going over there to look at things).

Also I still haven’t quite lived down Gravedrog yet. I still can’t believe that blew up to the degree it did.

BUT! I can talk about Theron Shan, and his motivations all the live long day. Probably too long if we’re being honest. And I’ve definitely invested far more thought and energy into understanding what happened in this storyline (and why everyone did what they did) than is probably rational. But hey, we all have to have a hobby? And apparently mine is dissecting rushed/truncated video game storylines and their implications on characterization.

The TL;DR: Theron does what he does in Fractured Alliances to protect both the Outlander and the Alliance. And eventually by extension of the plot, everyone in the galaxy

(Whether or not a player or Outlander agrees with his methods for going about it is another debate entirely, but Theron definitely had his reasons, which were noble in intent, as all roads to hell are said to be paved with)

(Sorta) Cliff’s Notes Version of Fractured Alliances:

(okay this isn’t that short, but I promise it’s a lot shorter than it could be)

Once upon a time, we find a junky old spaceship in the swamp. We ignore it whispering creepily to us and a bunch of warning signs and decide to adopt it anyway

Sometime later, the entire cast of KOTET takes a reluctant field trip (see: KIDNAPPING) to Iokath. 

While there, some stupid droid turns to Vaylin and says “Hey, you want to erase all of these Gemini droids free will?”

Because the entire expansion of KOTET got cut down by literally half, a lot of characterization shortcuts are taken and Vaylin’s like “HELL YEH”

All of the Gemini units are mindwiped save for one, a creepy little scarfed explorer who was off exploring Hoth or something. We get one e-mail from Hylo about this droid at the end of KotFE Chapter 16. 

This lone Gemini unit, named Gemini 16, is traumatized by this and she’s like “Fuck having sisters! I want to be an only child!” and decides she wants to murder her entire droid family. Apparently it’s the only way to be sure this never happens again???

We defeat Vaylin, Valkorion, and take ownership of a shiny new fleet! Neat! Also, we install the Fleet’s control console with a known security flaw that we ourselves tried to exploit in KotFE (see: The Gemini Frequency) into the heart of our operations on Odessen. I’m sure no traumatized, misanthropic lone Gemini droids or crazy Zakuulans will use this to their advantage.

Oh wait.

Some guy we never met hates us because two kids were arguing over a piece of bread in the street. 

This genius is named Vinn Atrius. He’s our villain.

He says “THANKS OUTLANDER-BAMA” and “We always had plenty of bread before YOU showed up!” and “Zakuul can’t just conquer and force everyone to bend to our will anymore :( :( :( :(” and “Won’t someone think of the children????” and decides he’s going to murderize him an Outlander. And the Alliance. 

He decides to become a terrorist and frame us for his terrorist acts. 

When he’s not starting whisper campaigns about how the Outlander is this horrible tyrant that must be stopped

Theron gets wind of Vinn’s plans, and decides to pretend he wants to be a cultist too! -- Vinn wisely slams the door in his face. This is the only wise thing Vinn ever does.

Vinn’s not a very good mastermind, so scary droid lady (GEMINI 16) says “Here honey, let me help you find a giant apocalypse machine”, although she doesn’t say honey because she hates everyone who’s not her

I actually skipped Iokath but I swear to god that’s an entire post unto itself, but someone tries to murderize the Outlander. Theron’s strangely calm about this. We’re supposed to think that’s because the TR8R WAS HIM ALL ALONG

This is stupid and goes against every characterization of Theron Shan up to this point in canon. I literally need an entire post to go into this, and am trying to keep things short.

TL;DR: This lady tried to murder the Outlander because ?????

I’m pretty sure the person behind the mask is the Scion, Oramis, and this part of the story/explanation got cut when they condensed everything.

Oramis and the Scions are also another post/explanation entirely

Gemini 16 lured everyone to Iokath

the full explanation is a post unto itself

but it’s the only thing that makes sense (with her motivation, Vinn’s motivation, their entire dialogue on their first meeting -- again, I’m trying to keep this “short”)

Sixteen literally has recordings of Team Outlander talking about who could have lured everyone there -- implying she was in the Iokath mainframe the entire time they were there on Iokath Fieldtrip #2

also, Vinn Atrius is as dumb as toast

🍞

Theron is actually pretty pissed about someone trying to murder his boss/best friend/girlfriend/boyfriend. And he’s pretty sure he knows who it is. So he goes into ultra THERON LOGIC mode -- which is to say, he becomes an overly paranoid loner -- and decides to infiltrate a death cult.  (again). As you do.

Because via intelligence reports that are for some stupid reason hidden behind group content, he already knows that some conspiracy against the Alliance is afoot. And that they’re being watched. Apparently Lana forgot to read all of her Intelligence dossiers???? 

Since he knows we’re being watched, but can’t figure out how, logically the only thing to do is without any backup whatsoever, try and infiltrate the Death Cult that slammed the door in his face once already. 

Luckily for Theron, Vinn Atrius is a dumbass and says “IDK... you’re pretty close to the Commander”

Theron says “Would a face like this lie to you?” while making this face in the cutscene: 😡  

Vinn’s like “When you’re right, you’re right! Blow up a train for me?” 

Theron: AHAHAHA SURE. I LOVE BLOWING UP TRAINS

Theron, Mentally: ...well, crap. I guess I could tell the Commander about this. BUT THE WALLS HAVE EARS--WAIT I HAVE A BRILLIANT PLAN

Theron proceeds to concoct the most elaborate stage play known to man, which includes:

Leading everyone to the front of the train

Where he can lure both the Outlander and Lana into the front compartment

And shoots Lana with a stun blast, something he has never done before to someone he’s trying to supposedly kill

Then he shoots at the Commander--but not really, because he was shooting out the window on the front of the train

Then he shoots again at the Commander--but not really, because he was shooting at the controls to bring up a shield that prevents the Outlander from following him

And oh no! Now there’s a shield between them, what a tragedy, I guess he can’t pretend to shoot at the Commander and miss for a third time. Guess it’s time to monologue like a Bond villain. What can ya do? It’s not like he has cybernetic implants that help him be an expert marksman. God, that’d be embarrassing.

Since he knows that he’s being recorded by some unseen person, he really hams it up for the camera. He makes this face again, because he’s decided it’s part of his tr8rsona: 😡

The Outlander can react in a variety of ways, but if one of those ways is “UM WTF???? WHY DIDN’T YOU TALK TO ME???” he suddenly breaks tr8r character and goes “I thought about it... but then you might have talked me out of it--AND WE CAN’T HAVE THAT!” 

if you romanced him and say you still love him he makes this face: 😭

And then literally tells the Outlander how to escape from the train before like going “I’m really gonna blow up this train -- in thirty seconds -- gosh it would be a shame if you were still on this train in thirty seconds. When it blows up. When I pull the trigger. That I’m about to do.”

The Outlander leaps off the train, out of the convenient exit point Theron made, with Lana. They’re respectively like “?????” and “🤬🤬🤬🤬”

Vinn thinks this all very convincing. Sixteen is facepalming in the background. Vinn doesn’t listen to her. We don’t see any of this, but it’s kind of implied in future dialogue.

If you’re dating Theron and didn’t try to Force choke him, he sends you a letter going “I STILL LOVE YOU -- CAN’T EXPLAIN WHY I DID THIS BUT ILU PLZ DON’T FORGET ILU oh yeah and the alliance sucks and stuff i guess -- ps. ♥︎♥︎♥︎”

This is apparently something a tr8r would do, because Theron is Vinn’s go-to guy now. And decides to give Theron the task of retrieving a map to this place called Nathema so they can find a giant death machine to kill the Alliance.

Oh wait. That place called Nathema. That Theron has been to before. And knows the exact coordinates too because he was the pilot that flew them there. The place that Valkorion sucked the entire life out of and made a giant wound in the Force. THAT NATHEMA.

This is the part where normal people might think “Maybe I should reconsider my plans”, but they are not Theron Shan. Who shaves his head, throws away a jacket he’s been wearing since he was like fifteen, and heads over to Chiss space, to steal/blow up a map to the Ancient Death Machine.

Actually it’s revealed/hinted at on Iokath, on Copero, and then clarified once again in Nathema Conspiracy, that this machine is literally the Apocalypse

It wipes out entire worlds’ populations in an instant

Background lore indicates that its hunger is endless and has been waiting to rise again and there’s like prophecies about this

If activated and not stopped, this machine will literally annihilate all life in the galaxy

Theron blows up some more things at a resort, runs bravely away away, and then OOPS OH SO ACCIDENTALLY broadcasts his call with the Death Cult, who say their name on camera.

Shockingly, the Alliance intercepts the accidental-on-purpose broadcast and now know the name of Theron’s new cult: The Order of Zildrog

Then like forever and a day passes in real life, but who knows how long in game time, but I guess it’s like, six months or less according to a line of dialogue -- and finally Lana and the Outlander mysteriously get coordinates to a myyyyysterious abandoned outpost. 

And by mysterious, I mean that Lana is the only one who can decode said coordinates because she and Theron came up with the encryption together on Rishi

It’s almost like he’s working from the inside or something

But if you tell Lana that she’s like “NO HE’S A TR8R GRRR THIS A TRAP”

It is not a trap

Lana and the Outlander wander around, and find a bunch of recordings someone conveniently forgot to erase detailing a bunch of infodumps that’s way too long for the Cliff’s Notes version, but boil down to showing and implying an entire novel’s worth of backstory:

Vinn’s manifesto

Theron unconvincingly pretending he really likes death cults

Vinn staring at numbers from data he got from Iokath and zomg Zildrog is reallllll -- the legends of his mighty hunger and DEATH DEALING are true! Squee! Just what he needs to get rid of that pesky Outlander!

Vinn recruiting people who really don’t like you into his death cult

Gemini telling Vinn he really sucks at this masterminding thing, but she needs someone who’s good with people so hey let’s team up!

Oh and she knows where Zildrog is

The Outlander and Lana escape before the space station blows up

Over on the Shuttle of Zildrog, Theron’s like “It’s all up to you now, Commander” and apparently Vinn hears that and is like “Hey Theron, did you remember to erase all of our super sekrit recordings and blow up the space station?"

Theron: 👌

Vinn: 👍

Sixteen: 😒

Back on Odessen Lana’s like “I KILL DA TR8R” regardless of your feelings on the matter as an Outlander. If Arcann’s still alive he’s like “Hey Commander, maybe go easy on Theron? I know the value of forgiveness. Maybe he had his reasons?”

You get corroborating information of literally everything we just learned on the Space Station OF DOOM and Lana’s still like “Nope, still gonna shank me a tr8r! No one tazes Lana Beniko and lives!”

I assume it’s a fun ride to Nathema

Okay I joke. She’s just being protective and "logical”, but honestly if you select literally every single dialogue option supporting Theron throughout this story, illogically Angry Lana can really start to grate after a while

On Nathema, we follow a myyyysterious signal -- to Theron. To the surprise of no one except Lana who’s like “JERKFACE STAY AWAY FROM THE COMMANDER”

Theron proceeds to tell an extremely abbreviated, and slightly more straightforward version of everything above. 

If you’ve romanced him, he reminds you that he promised to do anything to protect you. 

This includes shaving his head, updating his wardrobe, blowing up a train, and putting up with Vinn Atrius’s shit for months on end

The things he does for love

Lana still doesn’t believe him. At this point if you want to, you can be like “Lana plz” and she’s like “OKAY FINE--BUT I’M WATCHING YOU TR8R”

Gemini 16 was watching the entire exchange. Looks like SOMEONE’S cover is blown. Oh well, Theron was done with it anyway.

Vinn is SHOCKED. SHOCKED I TELL YOU.

HOW DARE

THERON????

HOW COULD YOU?????

YOU FRIENDED ME ON SPACEBOOK

WAS IT ALL A LIE

I KEEL HIM

Sixteen is just like “whatever let’s go activate Zildrog”

Vinn: Is this why he kept insulting our Lord and Savior Valkorion?????

Team Outlander fights their way to the site of the Ancient Apocalypse Machine. They meet Shroedinger’s Cultist along the way via holo. 

He/she/they says “hi/plz die”.

There’s sixteen candidates for this spot (two for each class) -- but all sixteen are not death cultists at the same time

This is another thing that requires an entire post to delve into, so another time on that

Team Outlander arrives at the site where Zildrog was installed on Nathema -- coincidentally right at the same spot Tenebrae/Vitiate/Valkorion initiated his first death ritual to grant him semi-immortality. Fancy that.

Vinn has convinced everyone he’s recruited into his death cult to climb into these really dangerous looking pods; not surprising but they’re all basically dead -- because Zildrog required a human sacrifice to be reactivated

A human sacrifice???

In my ancient death machine?

It’s more likely than you think!

Theron shoots Vinn because he’s tired of his shit

Gemini 16 reveals that the Zildrog machine is one half of a larger death device built on Iokath. Where’s the other half?

OH BACK ON ODESSEN. Because it’s the Gravestone. Yes, I know everyone forgot about it at this point, which is kind of easy since we haven’t seen it since KOTET.

The Gravestone blows up the Eternal Fleet. Like, all of it. At once. Also the control console for the Fleet blows up too. This kind of detonates several things on base.

For some reason edgelords on Reddit think this is all Theron’s fault

As if the writers were really going to let us keep that Deus Ex Machina that would literally prevent them from going back to these same whiner’s precious Pub vs Imp conflict

And ignoring the fact that this would have been the end result even if Theron hadn’t gone undercover

I digress

Team Outlander fights Sixteen and defeats her. 

Theron goes to try and finish shutting Zildrog down and Vinn Atrius is like

And stabs Theron in the back with a lightsaber pike

The Outlander can be like 

“FUCK YOU ASSHOLE THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND/BOYFRIEND”

 or “OH NOES” 

or “ASSMUNCH I WAS GONNA DO THAT”

Vinn’s like “DRAGGONNNNNNNNN” as if he was recreating a scene from Dragonball Z, and the holo-Zildrog is like “Here, let me make you go Super Saiyan!” -- and gives Vinn a boss buff

Outlander and Lana fight Vinn and kick his ass. Then kick Zildrog’s ass. Yes, Zildrog is literally just a computer console in the center of the room, and if the Outlander more or less pulls a Kylo Ren on it

The Gravestone blows up -- everyone on Odessen is really confused

Lana tells the Outlander that “WAIT! Theron’s still alive!” -- she’s backed off her murderous rampage at this point and says we have to bring him back to Odessen to save his life

The Outlander can act like any sane person to their boyfriend/best friend/person-who-risked-their-entire-life/reputation-to-save-us/etc and go “Let’s take him home and save his life”

Or can be a dick and literally make Theron live out his worst fear of being abandoned by the people he cares about -- because despite the mountain of evidence that illustrates he literally did all of this to save your life, you can just walk away going “tr8rs never prosper”

This option shows what looks like him dying offscreen

I’m pretty sure he actually survives

Satele sends you a nastygram if you do this, where she directly contradicts a previous letter she sent (to Theron) if you tried to kill her in KotFE Chapter 12

Lana also is not happy with you if you do this, but not like, enough to actually leave or anything

Back on Odessen it’s revealed half of the members of the Alliance are fair weather friends and have abandoned you since you don’t own any super cool space ships anymore

If you brought Theron back with you, he limps up while you and Lana are shooting the breeze and asks if he can stay

You can say yes or no

If you’re romancing Lana you can propose to her around this point

If you’ve romanced Theron (and didn’t tell him to hit the road), you take an ill-advised walk as he’s still limping like crazy, where he reveals that he’s been having nightmares ever since Umbara about you walking away from him and he can never catch up

GEE WHAT DOES THAT SOUND LIKE

He says he knows he doesn’t deserve your trust or forgiveness, but still asks if you can give “your idiot spy boyfriend” a second chance 

You can say no, of course, but if you say yes, there’s a dialogue path that leads to an adorably awkward proposal

And he promises that he and Lana will stay by your side no matter what

THE END

(of that story arc)

Sorry, I know that’s rather disjointed and rushed (despite being as long as it was)! But for such a rushed ending/conclusion, there’s actually a lot of moving parts to the storyline as whole. 

At some point in the future I’ll try to actually expand upon some of those tangent points of “I need more time to explain this properly” -- because there’s a lot of them, and a lot to them. Also cross-referencing the pieces of canon takes time -- but I promise there’s actual canonical evidence and logic trains that make sense for all of that.

[carmenlire]

Higher than the Big Trees Ch. 46

read chapter one

read on ao3

“When you said it would take a few hours to get ready, I thought you were joking.”

Alec looks up at Magnus, who’s standing by the drink cart with a martini. Careful not to move his head too much, he raises a brow. “Why would I joke about that?”

Shrugging a little, Magnus takes a sip of gin before wandering over to the couch. He lowers himself gracefully, crossing one leg over the other while he studies him.

“I’ve never known you to take more than half an hour to get ready. I didn’t know it took so much. . . effort to make you look so good on the red carpet, darling.”

Magnus’s voice is teasing and Alec laughs, shaking his head before wincing as the hair stylist pointedly shifts his head back into position with a harrumph.

“Everything you see on the red carpet is a carefully planned illusion,” Alec says dryly. “It takes a village, don’t you know.”

“I’m getting the idea,” Magnus replies with an arch look.

Looking up as the makeup artist nears, the room falls to its busy silence. There are muttered directions and the team surrounding Alec works like a well oiled machine. Hair finishes after another half hour or so but he’s not allowed to look at the mirror until his makeup is complete.

From the corner of his eye, Alec sees Magnus’s brows almost fly off his face as the makeup artist comes back to his side with an eyeshadow palette.

With a faint grin, Alec prods his boyfriend. “Yes?”

“I thought when you said the makeup team would be here at four, you meant-- I don’t know. Foundation, maybe a bit of concealer. I didn’t expect actual makeup.”

Looking up at the artist’s instruction, Alec focuses on not blinking as eyeliner is applied to his lower lid.

“I wear makeup sometimes. It’s usually for work-- concerts, award shows-- but I’ve been known to occasionally sport some eyeliner when I’m in the mood.”

“You’re so full of surprises,” Magnus replies and Alec hears the smile in his voice.

He smiles a little to himself and the next little while passes in silence. Once his makeup is finished, his chair is turned toward the vanity that had been set up in their living room.

Leaning towards the mirror, Alec studies his image.

He likes it.

It’s nothing too brazen but tonight’s a big night and he’d wanted to add a little extra something for the Grammys. His eyeshadow is dark, smoky, and there’s sharp silver eyeliner complementing the black. It adds depth to his eyes and will go well with his outfit for the night.

Shaking the hands of the team, Alec heads to the bedroom and changes into his tuxedo. It’s one of three outfits he’ll wear by the end of the night. Reaching for one of two hangers, he looks up as Magnus walks into the room.

“Getting dressed now, too?”

“Since you’re finally ready, I thought that was my cue to get dressed,” Magnus teases as he takes the other tux off the rack.

They turn to face each other and Alec stills, letting Magnus study his red carpet look with sharp eyes.

“So,” he asks, breaking the spell of silence that seems to have fallen over them. “What do you think?”

Humming a little, Magnus gives his face a thorough onceover. “I like it,” he says after another moment. “You’re certainly going to make an impression.”

“That’s the goal.”

They both change into their suits and Alec shrugs into his jacket as he looks up, the breath knocked out of him at the sight of his boyfriend in purple.

“That looks even better on you than it did on the hanger.”

Smoothing down his shirt, Magnus preens a bit. “It is my first awards show and I’m accompanying the Alec Lightwood. I have to dress my best.”

“You could be wearing a burlap sack and still look edible.”

Raising a brow, Magnus echoes, “Edible, huh?”

“Yeah.” Alec’s voice lowers a bit as he nears him, just to place a kiss at the corner of his eye. “You’ll fit right in.”

Pulling back, Alec turns toward the door as he looks at Magnus over his shoulder. “I’m gonna go out for last minute alterations. You still need to finish your makeup right?”

Magnus waves him on. “Yes, I do. I’ll be out whenever I’m done.”

Alec takes his cue, grinning as he leaves their bedroom. Magnus had done his hair and most of his makeup earlier. There were just a few finishing touches to complete before they were ready to leave for Madison Square Garden.

Leaving him to it, Alec lets the design team fuss over his outfit, making sure it drapes perfectly over his frame. It’s nothing wild-- a standard black tuxedo with black satin trim. While he’d gone for more colorful or interesting suits in the past, Alec hadn’t wanted anything that screamed statement this year. He was only nominated in two categories-- Record and Song of the Year, respectively-- and was going more for moral support to a few friends than any real hope that he’d win.

Plus, he was looking forward to bringing Magnus. When he’d offered his plus one to his boyfriend, he’d been a little hesitant. It was the Grammys, for God’s sake. There was no mistaking that if Magnus accompanied him then they’d be inundated with press and scrutiny. Still, Alec reflects. He was looking forward to tonight. They’d do a few dozen interviews, sit and relax for a few hours, and then head to the after party at Pandemonium.

All in all, there were far worse ways to spend an evening.

To his delight, Magnus had readily accepted his invitation. Alec had offered to get a team for Magnus but his boyfriend had waved it away, exclaiming that he was more than capable of doing his own hair and makeup.

Alec had been beyond thrilled, however, when Magnus had let him take care of his outfit. They were both wearing custom pieces by Tom Ford-- and hadn’t those fittings been fun.

Magnus was a natural, following the designers instructions and they’d each went for styles that suited them. Magnus’s aubergine shirt had little embellishments with a textured black jacket that fit him like a dream.

Rolling his shoulders a little, Alec tries to release some pent up tension.

The past few days have been a whirlwind, what with rehearsals and last minute fittings and meetings with his label. Alec was performing his latest single tonight-- it’s been holding steady at number one since it’s drop back in the fall-- and hadn’t that been a delightful relief-- and his album is set to be released in just a few short months, with tour immediately following.

Ruefully reflecting that he’d had damn near a year to rest on his laurels, Alec knows that his life is about to kick back into high gear as he starts promo for this next record. After promo, he’s going to eat, breathe, and live this album as he tours for the next several months and while Alec’s ready to get back in the saddle, he’s a little wary, too.

It won’t be the first but it’ll definitely be a considerable adjustment for his relationship. Tour is grueling even when he’s enjoying himself, even when it’s easy. Alec has faith in them, though, that they can weather whatever life throws their way.

He has to, he thinks, or this thing is doomed before it even starts.

This performance tonight is a declaration of sorts. It’s his first real performance since early last summer-- damage control back in August doesn’t count-- and there are nerves he didn’t anticipate. This album was undeniably different to what he’s released in the past. It’s softer; it’s less gritty. It’s a love letter to Magnus, after all, and that’s far different than the songs he’s known for about partying and fucking and all around being the stereotypical elusive celebrity.

It’s him, though. It’s authentic as hell and Alec had been gratifyingly surprised at the reception the single had gotten. Released without promo, it’d reached number one in eighty four countries within the first six hours. It’s been at the top of Billboard since that first day and it’s been certified triple platinum in the meanwhile.

Not bad when this time last year, Alec had been feeling burnt out and damn near despondent over his writer’s block, over the pressure of performing when he didn’t know what his next step should be.

Laughing a little under his breath, Alec knows that he never could’ve anticipated Magnus and the effect he’d have on his music-- on his life.

Alec doesn’t notice as everyone takes a step back from him and he startles a little when arms reach around him, familiar in their familiarity.

“Where’d your mind go, darling?”

Shaking himself from his reveries, Alec smiles over at Magnus. “Just thinking about how this is the first Grammys I actually have a date.”

Watching as everyone finishes packing up, Alec hears his phone vibrate on the coffee table. Picking it up, he sees a text from Dave.

Ready whenever you are, boss.

Taking a deep breath, Alec turns to look at Magnus. “Dave’s downstairs.”

Magnus reaches over like he can sense Alec’s nerves and it’s ridiculous because he’s Alec fucking Lightwood. He’s been to dozens of awards shows over the years. He’s intimately acquainted with the carefully erected facade, knows the ins and outs and the behind the scenes fuckery that they’re all plagued with and this should just be another evening where he networks and performs and loses himself in vodka and dancing at the end of things.

It’s not, though. It’s a declaration professionally but it’s also a statement on his personal life.

Magnus is going to stand next to him for all the interviews. He’ll be asked questions-- and hadn’t that coaching with Lydia been fun-- and the public will really see him for the first time.

And there will be judgement.

His appearance will be remarked on and so will his answers. People won’t see Dr. Magnus Bane, professor. They’ll see Magnus, Alec’s boyfriend.

Alec’s under no illusions that the red carpet’s going to be anything but exhausting.

Still. This is his job and it’s his life and for better or worse, Magnus has thrown himself right alongside Alec come what may.

Realizing that he still hasn’t answered his boyfriend, Alec looks up, smiling a little as he sees Magnus watching him with that patient look that sneaks under his defenses.

“Are you sure,” he asks one last time. “Are you ready to throw yourself to the wolves?”

Are you sure about me?

While Alec and Magnus have stopped hiding their relationship, they’ve been infuriatingly tight-lipped about it to the media. There may be pictures of them holding hands or enjoying brunch, but neither have said a word about each other since Alec’s little damage control tour.

It’s a new stage and as new phases always are, it’s nerve wracking. This is the last barrier between Magnus and the rest of the world and Alec doesn’t take that lightly.

As his eyes meet Magnus’s, he sees his real question is clear. But Magnus doesn’t pull away, doesn’t change his mind.

Instead, he winks, reaching a hand up to smooth down his lapel. “Don’t think you’re going to offer to take me to my first Grammys and then try to back out of it, Alexander. I believe I was promised the celebrity experience?”

Alec laughs, wrapping his arms around Magnus’s waist to haul him closer. He hears the closing of the door and knows they’re alone now.

“I am a man of my word,” he murmurs, nosing along Magnus’s jaw.

Without warning, Magnus is pulling back and Alec opens eyes that have fallen shut as Magnus reaches for his hands, intertwining their fingers before taking a step back towards the door. He watches as Magnus tilts his head in that direction, affection overlaid with challenge.

“Shall we?”

Alec follows eagerly and they go down the elevator, and Alec almost runs into Magnus when he stops abruptly in the lobby.

“Alexander.”

Humming a little, Alec looks up from where he’d been staring at his ass to see what must have caused such a reaction. He grins when he realizes.

“Magnus.”

He throws an arm over his shoulders, leading him outside where Dave is holding open the back door to the limousine.

Nodding in his direction, Alec urges Magnus inside. He’s bemused as he sees Magnus shake his head a little as he follows but Alec doesn’t immediately slide into the backseat.

Instead, he stands just outside of it, looking over at Dave.

“Think you’ll win anything tonight?”

“Nah,” Alec replies with an easy grin. “An Arrow in the Dark won its awards last year. I only have one song up for anything but I’ve been on hiatus so damn long they’ve probably forgotten about me.”

Dave scoffs. “It’ll take more than six months for the world to forget about you, Mr. Lightwood. Not with your date this evening.”

Leveling his driver with a look, Alec asks sotto voce, “How many reporters are gonna be on my shit list by the end of the night, do you think?”

Laughing heartily, Dave just shakes his head as he shoos Alec into the car. “Don’t tempt fate, Boss. Always go into things on a positive note, that’s what I always say.”

Alec doesn’t deign to answer to that-- he and Dave have talked shit about too many in the industry to give credit to his response-- and he hears his driver chuckle as he closes the door behind him.

Settling into his seat, Alec glances over to see Magnus giving him an appraising look.

“You don’t do anything by half measures, do you?”

“It’s the Grammys, babe. There’s no such thing as half measures.”

With a raised brow, Magnus replies, “You would know, I suppose.”

Reaching over, Alec lays his hand on top of Magnus’s for a brief moment before flipping it over and interlacing their hands. He brings their joined hands up and kisses the back of Magnus’s hand, just above his rings.

“Are you excited?”

Leaning against him, Magnus plays with his fingers absently as he answers. “I can’t deny that I’m looking forward to seeing what it’s like actually being there, instead of just watching it through the television.” Looking up from under his lashes, Magnus smirks a little. “And I can’t wait to see you perform.”

“How’d you know I was performing,” Alec asks with a little noise of indignation. He’d been looking forward to surprising Magnus with it.

Magnus just sends him a deadpan look. “Forgetting that you’ve been oddly mum about how you’ve been spending your days for the past week and I’d have to be living under a rock not to hear the commercials on the radio and TV. They’ve listed your name along with half a dozen others set to perform tonight.”

“I wanted it to be a surprise,” Alec says glumly before looking over. “I’ll be gone about half an hour during the show between costume changes and the actual performance. Think you can handle things without me?”

“I’m sure I’ll manage and even if, for some reason the hot seat gets a little too warm, I’ll have Simon there.”

“Definitely,” Alec says. “I’m so glad they seated us next to each other this year. Simon hates sitting with people he doesn’t know and this way you have someone to talk to during the lulls.”

“I only wish Raphael was attending, too. That would’ve been too much fun.”

Alec just looks at him. “Something tells me awards show will never be Raphael’s cup of tea.”

“How right you are, darling. Raphael despises this sort of thing. Whenever Catarina used to talk about these events, you could just see his eyes glaze over in a combination of boredom and horror.”

Switching topics, Magnus asks, “Do you think we’ll see Catarina tonight? She told me Ragnor and she hired a babysitter for the evening.”

“I’d imagine. I don’t know where their seats are but we’ll make sure to at least say hi.”

Before Alec quite knows it, they’re slowing down as they join the line of other celebrities waiting to be let out. While the Grammys alternated between here and L.A., Alec was glad to be on his home turf for the night.

Seeing them creep up to where they’re to be dropped off, at the start of the press frenzy, Alec brings Magnus’s chin up, wanting to make sure this moment holds the gravitas he feels it deserves.

“Remember what Lydia told us,” he starts warmly. “Thankfully she doesn’t like to micromanage the entirety of my press but she doesn’t want us--”

“Revealing everything. Yes, I know. We can talk a little, throw a few details out there, but we don’t want to spill our entire story. I was listening, you know,” Magnus teases him.

Letting his lips tip up into a faint smile, Alec continues, “I’m not going to harp on your every word. You can say whatever you want and I’ll have your back but I want to know if there’s anything you don’t want me to say up front?”

Magnus shakes his head. “I trust you, Alexander. I trust that you won’t go divulging our personal business to the entire world. Whatever you let slip, I’ll support you, too.”

Alec’s eyes warm at his boyfriend’s answer and then Dave is pulling up to the curb and he watches as Magnus takes a deep breath before almost bracing himself.

“Hey,” he soothes, turning so that he can run his arms over his shoulders. “Whatever’s waiting for us out there, I want you to know I love you and I’m so incredibly proud to stand next to you tonight. You’re the only one I want by my side. You can’t fuck this up, babe.”

Looking up, Magnus meets his eyes. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Alec echoes on a breath. “I think it’s time we gave everyone what they want, don’t you?”

Alec’s relieved to see Magnus’s shoulders lose a bit of their tension and the grin at each other before Magnus is pulling him close for a desperate kiss.

When he pulls back, Alec opens his eyes and feels a little dazed at the sight in front of him.

“I love you so much, Alexander. Thank you for inviting me here, for thinking I’m worth it.”

“Don’t you know,” he asks softly, heart aching in the best damn way. “You’re worth everything.”

Letting the words hang in the backseat, Alec steps out of the limo. Almost immediately, he’s blinded by the flash of dozens of cameras and he throws them all an easy grin as he turns back to the car. Holding out a hand, he leans close as he murmurs, “Out of the frying pan?”

He’s delighted as Magnus laughs, as he lays his hand in Alec’s. “And into the fire,” he agrees.

If Alec thought the cacophony at his arrival was loud, it’s nothing compared to the dull roar of the reporter’s crowd when they realize that he’s brought a date-- that he’s brought Magnus.

Sliding a hand around Magnus’s waist, Alec leans close to to murmur in his ear, “Let me know if it becomes too much, okay?”

Looking over at Alec, Magnus raises a brow. “I think you’ll find I can handle myself just fine, darling.”

Alec’s grin ratchets up a notch and then they’re in line for interviews. To his surprise, Magnus is a natural. He knows when to play coy and Alec already knows his boyfriend is going to make the morning’s best dressed list.

Some reporters ask evasive, pointed questions but Alec handles them like a pro, not giving Magnus any opportunity to falter as he throws out such riveting information like if Magnus was still working, if there was any hope for his fans or if he was off the market for good, or how they split bills.

Thankfully, they’re mostly done when Alec sees one of his favorite faces in front of them. Turning his head so that his lips touch Magnus’s ear, Alec says, “Our next interviewer is a friend. You can relax with her.”

Magnus nods to show he’s heard and then Alec breaks away from where they’d been holding hands for most of the press walk. He takes a few steps away to stand in front of a photo spot. He poses for a few moments, just him, and when he glances over at Magnus it’s to see his boyfriend smiling at him.

Throwing him a wink, Alec sees more than hears Magnus laugh and so when he turns back to the cameras, his grin is a little more natural-- real-- than they usually are during these sorts of things. Not wanting to hog the spotlight, though, Alec quickly gestures for Magnus to join him, holding out a hand.

Magnus goes to his side without hesitating, lifting a hand to rest it over his chest while Alec’s arm goes around his middle, pulling him imperceptibly closer.

As he stands in front of dozens of reporters and cameras blind them, Alec feels something settle over him.

This is his life. While he often enjoys awards shows, they’ve also become ordinary. A chore that needs completed. Alec’s been around the block more times than he cares to count and it’s all old hat to him. It’s just another day at work.

It’s different today. Magnus is the one standing next to him, looking over at him with warm eyes whenever they have a moment to breathe and he doesn’t look on the edge of panic. No, he doesn’t look like he’s in desperate need of an exit. He stands next to Alec and he contributes beautifully to soundbites that will be buzzing around the internet tomorrow. He’s his regularly charming self that Alec fell for so long ago-- that he falls a little more in love with every day.

Finally, Alec sees their future. He can see them next year, five years from now. Ten. He sees Magnus teaching and the occasional gala and forty eight hours stolen from jampacked tours just to fly home and see Magnus-- or for Magnus to fly to whatever city he’s in just to see each other.

It’s all so painfully mundane yet extraordinary that Alec can’t breathe for a moment. For the first time, everything seems not like a desperate wish but something they have a shot at after all.

He guides them to the next reporter on autopilot, shaking off epiphanies and he grins as he sees a welcome face.

He sees Magnus’s surprise as he leans in for a quick hug. “Evening, ladies.”

Laughing, Aline hugs him back. “Evening, Alec!” She pulls back and Alec doesn’t try to hide his smile as his cousin goes to hug Magnus next.

Magnus warms up quickly, staring over Aline’s shoulder with bemused eyes.

Shrugging a little, Alec says, “Did I forget to mention? Aline’s my cousin. She and Helen are my favorite reporters in New York.”

“Don’t lie, Lightwood. We’re your favorite reporters anywhere.”

“Yeah, you’re right,” he agrees easily and the next few minutes are the best so far. It’s far more relaxed than the other interviews and Aline knows what questions to ask and which to steer away from. He’s definitely a little disappointed when it’s time to move on.

Looking over his shoulder, Alec calls out, “Text me and we’ll get lunch sometime.”

“A double date,” Helen asks and Magnus nods with a grin.

“Count on it,” he replies and they hear Aline and Helen laugh behind them.

It’s not too much longer and they’re in Madison Square Garden. Alec’s just guiding them to their seating area when he hears someone shout his name and then Magnus is putting a hand to his chest to stop him.

Looking up, Alec scowls. “What are you doing here?”

Simon bounds up to them looking far too happy. He claps him on the shoulder before turning to Magnus to do the same.

“Hey,” he says. “I’m nominated for a Grammy the same as you tonight.”

Alec lets his expression ease into a faint smile and he doesn’t even grimace-- too much at least--as Simon pulls him into a hug.

“Nice suit,” he says, raising a brow at the maroon silk, but Simon doesn’t bat an eye, just smiles serenely.

“Nice eyeshadow.”

Alec barks out a laugh as he shakes his head ruefully, Magnus joining him as their hips bump into each other.

They walk to their seats together. MSG’s a dull roar as everyone socializes, as the fans talk amongst themselves.

He’s just about to sit down when Simon exclaims, “Wait!”

Pausing, Alec raises a brow. “Yeah?”

Waving at them, Simon says, “Let me get a pic of you two! It’s Magnus’s first Grammys and--” he throws a reassuring smile to Magnus as he continues, “I know how surreal it can be. Alec’s been to so many that it doesn’t even faze him anymore but you two will definitely want a picture to commemorate the occasion!”

Alec looks over at Magnus and they share a look before shrugging. They move until they’re standing in the aisle and Alec hands Simon his phone. Standing close, he’s smiling for the camera when something catches his eye. He turns to look at Magnus and he just can’t help himself.

He leans in and he’s smiling as he kisses his boyfriend. He hears Magnus make a sound of surprise, feels the faint hum against his lips, but he’s kissing back.

Just a moment and then Alec pulls back and he raises a hand to brush over Magnus’s cheek.

“Love you,” he says quietly, in the space between them.

“I love you, too.”

Abruptly remembering where they are, Alec turns back to Simon who’s watching them with a delighted gaze.

“I feel like a proud parent at prom,” Simon says, wiping an imaginary tear from his eye. “You two are just too damned cute.”

Wondering for the millionth time why he’s best friends with Simon, Alec tries to glare at him, though even he can tell there’s next to no heat to it.

They take their seats after that and Simon leaves them alone as he makes his rounds. Alec takes out his phone when it’s just the two of them and Magnus leans close as he starts scrolling through the pictures Simon had just taken.

There’s about a thousand and it looks like Simon had just pressed the shutter every goddamn millisecond.

They decide on a photo and Alec types out the caption before posting.

It’s a picture of the two of them kissing. The caption reads everything’s better with a plus one.

The awards start not long after that Alec looks over a few times to see Magnus taking every detail in. When an attendant comes up to him a little while later and taps him on the shoulder, Alec nods before turning to his boyfriend.

Not wanting to disturb everyone, he leans close, whispering, “Hey babe, I have to go get ready. I’ll see you in a little bit, okay?”

Magnus looks over at him, smiling a little before pulling him in with a quick kiss. “Break a leg, darling.”

Huffing out a laugh, Alec follows the attendant backstage. There, he’s escorted to his dressing room where he changed into his second outfit of the night. It’s just a black t-shirt under another black suit jacket with black leather accents. It perfectly complements his black leather pants and then he’s getting set up with his ear piece and mic pack.

Through the ear piece-- the custom ones he’d used last tour-- Alec hears the latest category announcement and listens to the pop star’s speech. He bounces up and down on the balls of his feet a few times before cracking his neck. He walks over to the stage and lets a dozen people fuss over him, making sure everything’s set as they adjust his mic and everyone rushes to their places.

He’s done this a thousand times before and he feels the familiar rush of energy flow into him. As nice as his break’s been, he has missed performing-- the rush, the heat, the energy-- and he’s looking forward to the next four minutes.

Hearing the celebrity who was announcing him, Alec tunes into her spiel.

“Our next performer is no stranger to this stage. He’s won eight Grammys, including last year’s Album of the Year for An Arrow in the Dark. That album would go on to win him three Grammys alone. The song he’s performing tonight is his lead single for his next album, expected this spring. Everyone give it up for Alec Lightwood!”

Alec grins as the crowd roars at him. Counting beats in his head, Alec looks up as the band starts playing the intro.

Since Feel Something is a slower song, it’s just Alec performing in front of a microphone. No background dancers or extravagant scenery, no one else except background vocals standing behind him. The lights are low, twisting shades of gray and wolf’s blue and Alec can’t see the crowd through the heat of the lights in his eyes.

So he closes them instead and sinks into a feeling he knows as well as breathing. It’s his first performance of anything new in over a year. There are always trials when performing new songs-- making sure he knows them inside and out can only go so far sometimes.

Luckily, everything goes wonderfully. He hits his notes and as the bridge comes around Alec takes his mic from its stand and pulls his ear plug out, wanting to hear the crowd without restriction.

He loses himself in performing and it’s all so beautifully familiar. The heat on his skin, the feeling of thousands of eyes on him, the euphoria of doing what he loves.

This song packs one hell of a punch as well and as Alec’s eyes close for the chorus, it feels like the emotions are being ripped out of him.

By the time the last note rings out, the chorus accompanying him echoing in the arena, Alec feels a little wrung out. It’s a combination of not performing in a little while and the sheer feeling that grabbed his throat and squeezed for those few minutes.

Alec slides the mic back into its stand as the stage lights go out around him, leaving him barely visible to everyone. He still hears the cheers, though, and they light a fire inside of him.

He’s still got it.

Walking backstage, one of the managers eagerly takes his mic pack and any other tech. He grabs a flute of champagne and downs it in one go, relishing the muted burn of alcohol. He heads back to his dressing room and takes a look in the mirror. His makeup is remarkably intact and it goes with his performance outfit so Alec doesn’t deign to change. Instead, he runs a hand through his hair and with one last once over, leaves the dressing room.

It’s a commercial break when he slides back into his seat next to Magnus but his boyfriend barely glances over, all of his attention focused on something going on across the room.

“What’s happening,” Alec asks under his breath and he scowls as Simon reaches over and hits him with a hissed, “Shut up.”

Distractedly, Magnus replies, “A waiter spilled wine on an artist’s dress and she has to present an award soon. She’s giving him hell.”

Alec looks up and snorts softly as he sees who the star in question is. “She’s a bit of an ass. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was her fault and she’s blaming the poor guy now.”

Relaxing in his seat now that his job for the evening is done, Alec reaches over and rests his hand on Magnus’s thigh. He tunes out the drama on the side of the room and instead people watches. He sees a few friends in the rows around him and he wonders if he’ll run into any of them at Pandemonium later.

As a celebrity hot spot, Pandemonium was going to be busy as hell tonight. Alec couldn’t wait.

Still, there were a couple of hours left at this shindig. Catarina wins a Grammy for a song she’d written and recorded for one of last year’s biggest films and Magnus is the first out of his seat as he claps for all he’s worth.

Alec stands next to him and it’s a little different-- sure he has friends in the industry but no one he’s so close to besides Simon. It’s a nice feeling to know that the artist deserves every bit of praise and some more besides.

As they sit back down, the next announcer steps up to the stand. Alec mostly tunes her out but he shakes his head a little when he sees a snippet of the Empty Hearts music video.

“And the winner for Song of the Year is. . . Alec Lightwood and Simon Lewis: Feel Something!”

Simon catapults out of his seat but it takes Alec a second to realize what’s just happened. He looks over to Magnus to see him grinning, laughing as he claps along with everyone else.

It’s like time fast forwards and then he’s standing and pulling Simon in for a bear hug. Simon holds on tight and Alec knows that he’s not imagining the breath that sounds suspiciously like a sob in his ear. Alec goes to follow Simon to the stage but at the last minute, he turns around and grabs Magnus by the lapels, pulling him in for a bruising kiss. It’s only a second before he breaks the kiss. He winks at Magnus-- who looks a little dazed-- and then continues his path.

While Alec had been primary songwriter, Simon had a credit on the song. Greeting the announcer, Simon takes the Grammy and holds it up, everyone laughing at his unbridled joy. Alec lets Simon take over the acceptance speech. It was his first Grammy, after all. While he’d been nominated a few times before, this was Simon’s very first win and Alec is more than willing to take a back seat and let his friend bask.

Simon’s speech is a little rambling and a lot endearing and by the time he finishes there’s no time for Alec to say anything. He waves to the crowd, touching his fingers to his mouth and blowing a kiss for an exuberant, heartfelt thanks.

It feels like just a few minutes later that his next category is being called and he feels Magnus tense beside him as the nominees for Record of the Year are announced, his face showing on the screen with the other four artists.

And the truth is, while Alec had downplayed his chances to everyone else, he wants this award. He’d just made the deadline for this single to be considered for the 2019 awards season and privately, he thinks his chances are good. He hasn’t released a music video for the song yet-- he was waiting to drop it with his album release-- but even without one, it had been staying steady on the charts. The past five months have been good to that song and his optimism for this next phase of his career and he’d love to be able to point to something tangible-- like an award-- and know that he was on the right track, that something different could still bring him gold.

Alec lets out quiet breath as announcer fiddles with the envelope, seemingly taking ages to open it. He feels Magnus lean close, hand on his thigh, and he relaxes the tiniest bit in his seat.

His eyes close when he feels his boyfriend’s breath on his ear. “While I have every confidence that your name is in that envelope, I want you to know we’re still going to celebrate handsomely tonight, Alexander.”

Without quite planning it, Alec’s grinning at Magnus’s words and a second later he hears his name being called out from the stage.

Eyes flying open, his first sight is Magnus. His smile is quieter but no less heartfelt and this time around, it’s him who pulls Alec close for a searing kiss, running a hand through his hair for a moment that runs white hot before he’s pulling back and all but shoving Alec towards the stage.

Clearing his throat, Alec tries to clear his head and as he passes around Simon’s seat, he sees his friend giving an exuberant thumbs up and smiling widely.

Walking to the stage solo, Alec works on his breathing, trying to calm his racing heart. It’s always a rush to win something-- let alone a fucking Grammy-- no matter what Simon might think.

He hugs the announcer, shaking their hand, and then he’s holding the little gold statue of a gramophone. He looks down at it and then up into the blinding lights and cheering crowd.

Alec leans down toward the mic, still sporting a smile, and starts his acceptance speech.

“What an incredible honor it is to receive this award tonight. I honestly didn’t expect this even if I secretly hoped,” he laughs and he hears everyone echo that laughter as he continues. “Feel Something is a little different to what I’m sure everyone’s used to from me. I’m glad you all like this new direction of my music and I’m eager to see everyone’s reactions when the album’s released in a few months. I’d like to thank my manager, Lydia, my team at Institute Records, my family for always having my back and-- one last person.”

Looking down, Alec gathers his thoughts before he lifts his head and makes eye contact with Magnus. His smile turns deeper, softer and everyone else in the room seems to vanish for a brief moment as he says, “He’s the reason that I’m holding this award tonight. When I met him, I’d just finished my world tour for An Arrow in the Dark and I was facing a turning point in my career. Truth be told, I was in crisis mode. And then I met him and he breathed new life into me and my music in a way that I never could have anticipated. So thank you, Magnus, for loving me and letting me love you. I couldn’t have done it without you, babe.”

Alec steps back from the mic, raising the award in a salute of sorts as he clears his throat again. He heads to the side entrance of the stage, entering backstage where he takes a few press photos before he’s allowed back to his seat.

When he finally gets back to Magnus, it’s to see his boyfriend talking animatedly with Simon. Sitting down, Alec barely opens his mouth before Magnus is kissing him. Immediately abandoning any thought of talking, he raises his free hand to cup Magnus’s face, shifting for a deeper angle.

He doesn’t know how long they stay like that before Magnus pulls back. Alec looks up, catching his breath, only to lose it again when their eyes meet.

Magnus runs a thumb over his lip and Alec shudders.

“You really are extraordinary, aren’t you,” Magnus asks.

Alec’s voice is hoarse when he replies, “Every word, babe. I mean every goddamn word.”

He leans close and the kiss this time is softer, lingering. Alec gives up on paying attention to the show, clapping on autopilot when he hears everyone else do so.

His attention is far too full of Magnus to give a fuck about anything else.

Finally, finally, the show is over and everyone is escorted to their cars. There’s a bit of shuffling and they lose track of Simon-- though they do run into Catarina and Ragnor for a few moments waiting for their rides to pull up-- and then Alec and Magnus are climbing into their limo.

There’s an ice bucket there and Alec laughs when he sees what’s inside.

“What is it,” Magnus asks bemused.

“Lydia,” Alec replies shortly before he grabs two flutes. The bottle’s already been opened and he fills the glasses as Dave makes his painstaking way through traffic. “We have this tradition. Every time I win a Grammy, she surprises me with champagne for the ride to the after party.”

Magnus accepts his glass graciously, taking a sip while he eyes Alec over the rim. “That’s a lovely tradition. And definitely well deserved since you won not one but two awards tonight. That’s such an achievement, Alexander.”

Chuckling, Alec shakes his head ruefully. “I didn’t think I’d win either. Today’s turning out to be one hell of day.”

Magnus moves closer, coming to rest a hand on the side of his neck. “I’m proud of you, Alec. I know I’m a little biased but I love that song and you deserve recognition for it. You took a chance and-- well,” he trails off sheepishly. “I’m so happy that chance was worth it.”

Turning his head a little so that he can kiss the palm of Magnus’s hand, Alec sighs. “I’m happy you like it and that the world doesn’t hate it. That’s more than enough for me.”

“So the two Grammy’s aren’t really important?”

“Hey,” Alec says with a grin. “I didn’t say that.”

The two of them laugh, leaning into each other.

Traffic is brutal tonight, even for New York standards, and it takes almost an hour to get back to Magnus’s loft. Alec reaches for the champagne a few times, refilling his glass often since every time he looks down, it’s turned empty somehow.

He always tops off Magnus’s flute before his own and they spend the drive to their place talking quietly in the backseat. They can hear the radio playing in the front-- Dave’s always loved smooth jazz-- and it’s nice. Alec’s not already drunk, like he’s been known to be in the past and it’s nice, to be able to enjoy some calm in the storm.

Unlocking his phone, Alec sees a dozen texts of congratulations from his family and he laughs a little when he sees the dozen heart eye emojis accompanying Izzy’s message mentioning his acceptance speech. Opening Twitter, retweets a few links to news articles about his win and both he and Magnus making it onto the best dressed side of red carpet looks. He likes a few other tweets that are just fans talking about him and Magnus.

While there are a few posts that are bullshit, that are nasty and entitled and just plain wrong, there are far more people supporting Magnus, including one from a Twitter handle that makes him laugh out loud.

@prayformalec: omg did you see the way @AlecLightwood was looking at Magnus when he was talking about their first date? I got cavities just watching those two! And don’t get me started on the way they couldn’t keep their hands off each other djfhgsdjsdfkh

@Alec_komh: Holy shit @AlecLightwood always looks amazing but can we talk about MAGNUS!!! Can he p l e a s e **** ** ****

Shaking his head a little, he shows Magnus that one and they both laugh at his fan’s exuberant support.

They make it back to Brooklyn and get ready for the after party. Magnus changes into a sheer maroon button down that he leaves undone to his fucking navel. Over that, he’s wearing a dark blue jacket and it leaves his chest-- and most of his abs-- on display. Alec watches as his boyfriend goes through his jewelry, deciding on a handful of necklaces in varying lengths.

Alec, for his part, stays in the leather pants he’d worn for his performance. He just switches his shirt for a see-through black lace one with a floral pattern. He’d bought it ages ago but was never in the mood to wear out. Giving a mental shrug, Alec figures tonight’s as good a time as any.

Cleaning up his makeup a little, Alec’s ready before Magnus. He heads to the living room to wait and ends up standing in front of the drink cart. He pours a finger or two of whiskey in a glass, taking his time as he drinks.

“Ready, darling?”

Alec looks up but doesn’t say anything right away. Instead, he blinks. His gaze roves over his boyfriend and he swallows hard.

Magnus doesn’t seem to mind the silence. His mouth kicks up in a lazy grin as he walks over to him. Sliding fingers into the waistband of Alec’s pants, Magnus uses his free hand to snag Alec’s half-finished glass, swallowing the rest of it in one go.

He’s barely lowered the glass when Alec’s tipping his face up for a kiss. He’s dizzy with it, the taste of whiskey on Magnus’s tongue, the smell of his cologne, the sounds Magnus makes that he feels more than hears.

Half of him thinks about abandoning the rest of their plans for the night. His mind fills with images of stripping Magnus bare, laying him out on their bed, and spending hours trying to show Magnus how he makes him feel.

His rumination is fractured, though, as Magnus breaks the kiss, leaving Alec breathless and more than a little confused.

When he opens his eyes, it’s to see his boyfriend staring at him with amusement. “I do believe we have plans, Alexander. It wouldn’t do for us to get too carried away.”

“I think that’d be just fine,” Alec says, voice low in the quiet of their loft.

Magnus laughs a little before he brings Alec close for a smacking kiss on his lips. “Let’s go.”

Alec grumbles a little but it turns mostly for show as they head downstairs. Thankfully Pandemonium isn’t too far away and they’re pulling up to the front of the club a short while later.

Even through the blacked out windows, Alec sees hordes of paparazzi lingering on the sidewalk. The flashes from their cameras are a hundred starbursts and Alec rolls his eyes as he opens the door.

Almost immediately, the cameras turn to him. He ignores them as he turns back to escort Magnus out and without ceremony, he throws an arm over his shoulders, pulling him close to the side. Questions are shouted at him but Alec doesn’t even try to pick them out of the cacophony.

Nodding to the bouncer, there’s not a hitch in his step as the rope is pulled back to grant them access, allowing them to bypass the line stretched around the corner for those still waiting admittance.

The club is dark and full of flashing lights in a riot of color. He feels the bass in his chest and snags Magnus’s hands as he forces their way to the bar.

He’s immediately ordering half a dozen shots. Making way for Magnus, he hands one to his boyfriend and his gaze is struck by the way slender fingers pick up the shot glass, the way his throat works as he swallows.

They finish the shots in rapid succession and then it’s Magnus who’s pulling Alec onto the crowded dance floor.

The music is loud, drowning everything else out but the way Magnus feels against him. Lights bounce off highlighter, plays over his boyfriend until he’s covered in shifting shadows. Letting his hands rest on his hips, Alec pulls him closer.

He loses track of time quickly. There are more shots and the music doesn’t stop and Alec’s dizzy in a mix of low grade lust and top shelf liquor.

He knows people in the crowd, though, and he does rounds. Bringing Magnus with him, Alec introduces him to acquaintances and friends and-- to his surprise-- Magnus isn’t cowed by the dozen celebrities he talks to. He’s witty as ever, as irresistible as ever, and it’s a potent sight to see his boyfriend fit in seamlessly with another part of his life altogether.

Alec doesn’t remember quite how it happened, but the next thing he knows, he’s popping open a bottle a Dom Perignon. He has no goddamn clue where the cork is but it doesn’t matter. Bringing the bottle up to his lips, Alec drinks straight from the bottle before handing it over to Magnus who accepts it with an arch look, smug grin on his face as he tips it up and takes a healthy swig.

It’s all so much and it’s been ages since Alec felt like this-- like he was on top of the world, like nothing mattered except right now, here in the moment.

He’s won two fucking Grammys-- bringing his total up to ten-- and his album has been sent off to be mastered. He’s at the top of his game with no signs of that changing anytime soon.

He’s so in love he doesn’t know what to do with himself. He’s in love with the man in front of him and it’s all so overwhelming.

Time seems to slow for an imperceptible moment. His mind is hazy, the only thought he can catch Magnus, and so he pulls his boyfriend in, sliding a hand to his back. Leaning close, he kisses the pulse at Magnus’s throat and tastes salt. He sucks a bruise or three along unblemished skin, losing himself in the warm scent that lingers there.

One hand brings their hips together while the other goes to Magnus’s nape. He moans low in his throat when his boyfriend arches his neck, granting more access, but it’s drowned out by the crowd and music.

Leaning back to admire his handiwork, Alec takes in blown pupils and the flush that rides high on Magnus’s cheek bones.

They grin at each other, heated smiles, and then Alec’s pulling Magnus with him. Away from the dance floor, away from most eyes.

They stumble down a dark corridor on the edge of the room and Magnus lets Alec guide him until his back hits the wall. Magnus is already reaching for him, pulling him close, and it’s a heady feeling to be the one he wants.

Magnus’s hips roll up to meet his and Alec’s gasp turns into a stuttered groan at the friction. Nothing matters so much as this and Alec knows he’s a hair's breadth from coming in his pants.

There are hands in his hair, running through messy locks and pulling, just the tiniest bit, and it goes straight to his dick, leaves him feeling lightheaded and like he’s about to burst.

Still while this is far from the first time Alec’s had a hookup at a club, he doesn’t want that here. It takes infinitely more willpower than he thought himself capable of but Alec pulls back-- almost immediately going back in when he sees Magnus, waiting and willing.

He ducks close so that his lips touch Magnus’s ear. He feels the shiver that wracks his boyfriend and grins.

“I think it’s time we headed home, don’t you?”

Magnus nods so fast he almost gives himself whiplash and then they’re both laughing as they stumble to the front of the club. They can’t keep their hands off each other and Alec finds that he doesn't want to.

Pandemonium is still crowded and they run into more people than he can count. Finally, though, cool air wraps around them as they make it to the front entrance.

As soon as they have the space, Alec’s spinning Magnus around. His arms are around his waist and the only thing he knows is the man in front of him.

They kiss and it’s a mess, even as drunk as he is, Alec knows that. It doesn't matter though because Magnus is kissing him back and then they’re tripping on the sidewalk. Pulling back just enough for a desperate breath, Alec tries to gain his equilibrium. He sees the limo down the block and tugs Magnus in that direction and in the back of his head he knows-- he knows-- that there have to be reporters around, that this will probably be plastered across the internet tomorrow but it’s just so good and Magnus is so hot and it seems a crime to think about anything else.

The partition is up when they fall into the backseat and Alec doesn’t waste time. Dave pulls away from the curb and they fall sideways on the seat, Alec on top of Magnus-- and then they’re laughing. And it’s so silly and they’re so drunk but it doesn’t matter because Alec has everything he ever wanted and it’s all in front of him.

They pick up right where they left off in the dark of the club and Magnus reaches for his pants. With a broad, deliberate stroke along his cock, he takes his time unzipping Alec’s pants and Alec would glare if it didn’t feel so goddamn good, if he had the breath to do anything but chant Magnus’s name in an endless stream of please and faster and fuck, babe, that feels so good.

After moments of agonizing anticipation, Magnus’s hand finally closes around his cock and Alec groans harshly in the silence of the car. Jesus Christ, he thinks and then he’s not thinking at all.

He gets enough wherewithal to undo Magnus’s pants and then he’s reaching for a compartment on the side of the limo, breaking the kiss to glare at the space when he can’t find what he needs.

Magnus glares at him in turn and Alec’s breath stalls in his chest at the look, at the way his eyes reflect the muted light. Finally his hand closes around a small bottle and Alec grins sharply.

It takes Magnus a moment but when he focuses on the object in his hands he laughs, even as his legs fall open wider, one foot planted on the floorboard to steady them.

“Really, Alexander?”

His voice is breathless, teasing but his eyes are trained on him-- on the bottle-- and Alec’s nodding even as he flicks it open.

“‘Course, babe. Always be prepared, that’s my motto.”

Magnus laughs out loud but it turns into a long, drawn out moan as Alec finally gets a hand around him, now warm and slick.

They shove their pants and underwear down and when Magnus arches up, their cocks slide together. It’s messy and when they run over a pothole it’s downright hazardous but they just press together more, seeking friction and that overwhelming, scorching heat.

Alec comes first, pressing desperate fingers into Magnus’s hips hard enough to bruise and it doesn’t take more than a dozen thrusts before Magnus is following him, spilling across their stomachs.

It takes several minutes for them to catch their breaths, both of them gasping harshly in the backseat. There’s a buzzing under Alec’s skin and even though he knows the mess between them will be annoying soon enough, he’s perfectly content for the moment as he places kisses across Magnus’s chest, over his heart.

Magnus slides hands through his hair and Alec lets out a little hum of happiness and the gentle scratch against this scalp.

It takes herculean effort but they manage to eventually sit up. Thankfully, Alec really had prepared for anything and they manage to clean everything up and straighten their clothes remarkably easily.

Dave doesn’t get out and Alec’s grateful. They make their stumbling way out of the car. It seems like they both want to be as close as possible and so they keep tripping over each other’s feet.

They fall against the back wall of the elevator eventually. Alec’s arm is over Magnus shoulder as his boyfriend leans against him and he turns his head, nosing along his hair before laying a soft kiss against his temple.

Everything’s hazy and slow. Looking through the balcony doors once they make it into the loft, Alec’s almost positive he can see the first traces of dawn in the dark sky.

His focus shifts as Magnus comes around to face him, smiling at him.

“Time for bed,” he asks lowly and Alec bites his lip at the promise in his voice.

Nodding, Alec follows him to the bedroom. Their clothes are taken care of quickly and then they’re falling into bed.

The energy from earlier is disappearing, being replaced by exhaustion. Alec’s eyes close of their own volition and he shivers as Magnus mouths over his collarbone, tongue dipping into the hollow of his throat.

He feels so close to falling asleep but he can’t, not when everything feels so good. Alec runs a hand down Magnus’s back, stroking his ass, urging him closer.

This second time is slow and sweet. Instead of frantic hands, there are lingering touches as the shadows in their bedroom grow shorter. Sighs replace groans and Alec feels like he’s sinking into the bed, like he could wake up at any moment just to discover everything’s been a dream.

The best dream.

He grins up at Magnus and sees the happiness that seems to be pouring through him in waves reflected in achingly warm brown eyes.

There are low words, murmurs they strain to hear. “I love you,” they both whisper and it’s quiet but no less profound, the way Alec’s heart surges in his chest.

Sunlight spills through the curtains when they finally fall asleep, wrapped around each other, a haphazard sheet pulled up to their waists.

[phaedrecameron]

House of Fraser, Chpt 11 - Three Days

This is for the anon asking for the next chapter 😀

“Umph.” Geneva leaned heavily against Jamie’s side as he pushed open the door to her flat. After she announced her plans to go to a pub and get laid, Jamie decided to see her home. He knew she wasn’t serious; that she was drunk - said it to wound him and to protect her pride, but he wouldn’t see her hurt in case she tried it.  He hailed a taxi and slipped in beside her as he directed the driver to her flat. She quickly fell asleep against his shoulder.

Once in her flat, Jamie placed her in a chair at her kitchen table. As he was putting her shoes near her feet, she reached for his shoulders and tried to kiss him.  He held her back by the upper arms. “No, Geneva. I canna. It isna fair to ye.”

“But I don’t care. We can still be together,” she tried to touch him, but Jamie held her in place.

“I canna be with ye anymore, not when I love another.” He watched her swallow and look away.  He crouched further down and forced her to look at him. “It isna fair to me either, aye?”

He released her and stood.

“Perhaps a break?  She doesn’t want you anymore. Once she’s married, you’ll never see her again….maybe you’ll forget?”

“No.”

She started as though he’d struck her.

“I’m sorry, Geneva.”

He turned and left.

                                                  ******

“Ugh.” Jamie pushed back from a desktop work station in his studio. The textures and patterns of his spring line refused to take shape. He walked to his drafting table, adjusting the waistband of his fitted jogging bottoms along the way. In the past, pencil and paper had always helped him push past a creative block, but not today. Today, he was in a ‘mood,’ as Marsali had said after he apologized for snapping at her this morning. Jamie tapped his thigh and looked to his office desk where his mobile sat.  

After leaving Geneva’s flat, he’d texted Claire to ensure she safely made it home. ‘Yes,’ was her one word reply. Jamie brushed off her terseness as due to her being tired. The next day he emailed her the final design drafts for her dress. Her wedding was two weeks away and there was but one fitting left. She usually replied to his emails within the hour; this time a full day passed before she responded, ‘thank you.’ Jamie tried to tamp down his unease. He knew this was coming, knew she’d marry Randall and leave his life as quickly as she’d entered it.

From beneath a stack of sketchbooks and fabric swatches, he pulled out Claire’s photo. It was the first photo he took of her. He smiled to himself. From the very first moment he saw that curly wig and her whisky eyes, he was done for. She’d wrecked him. Ruined him to his very core.  He didn’t want think she was mad at him for what he’d said about Randall, for maybe they could still be friends. He scoffed. How could they be friends? How could he be near her and not want her? It might be doable if Randall were remotely worthy of her, if he knew her man would do right by her, but Randall would not. Everything that made Claire who she was Randall wanted to snuff out. He would slowly kill her spirit and that, above everything else, angered Jamie.

“Jamie!”  John shouted from the entry way, “Claire called to reschedule tomorrow’s fitting. You’re at HQ for the next two days after, so I told her Friday? Good?”

“What?” Jamie replied perplexed.

“I said, Claire called –“

“Aye, aye. I heard ye. Good. I understand.”

But of course Jamie didn’t understand. Claire always scheduled her fittings through him. He went to his office and grabbed his mobile to call her. It went to voicemail.

                                                        ********

Claire walked into Helwater Fashions and slowly removed her scarf. She looked back at the door she just entered. How many times had Jamie entered that same door? She swore to herself she’d be strong. Meeting Jamie had irrevocably changed her life. She wouldn’t be sad. She would be happy - for herself and for him. She heard voices.

“Hullo?”

John came to the front and stopped at seeing her. “Dr. Beauch..Claire? I thought we rescheduled for Friday. Jamie’s not here. He’s at a meeting with corporate.” John began moving to his desktop to check the schedule.  Marsali entered and looked over John’s shoulder.

“Oh, I spoke with Jamie yesterday,” Claire lied, “I told him I’d be nearby and asked if I could see the dress.”

Marsali and John exchanged looks.

“I can try to call him Claire. He’ll come if he knows you’re here, but he can be hard to reach at corporate,” said Marsali.

“No!” Claire softened her voice.  “I mean, he’s very busy. I don’t want to disturb him. It’s almost finished, yes? I just wanted to try it.”

John’s eyebrows knitted while he finished checking the shared calendar, confirming Jamie made no entry about Claire’s arrival. “Well, Jamie’s pretty good about telling me his schedule, but he has been out of sorts the last few days. Marsali, pull the dress for Claire.”

Claire nodded her thanks. She followed Marsali down the long hallway to Jamie’s studio, looking into each room as she passed.  She saw the conference room where she’d first met Jamie; the room where he found her on her mobile before their first fitting; the side hall where he first took her photo. She stopped at his personal office. She looked through the window and saw a photo on a back shelf of a puppy Fergus with his nephew.

“Are ye alright?” Marsali put her hand on Claire’s arm where it covered her heart.  “Maybe we should try Jamie?”

“No.” Claire shook her head and tried to smile. “Thank you, it’s just been a long day, just the dress if you please.”

Marsali hesitated, “Okay, wait in the studio.” As Marsali disappeared to retrieve the dress, Claire walked to Jamie’s drafting table. A smile split her face as she picked up his glasses. She realized for the first time that he had multiple pairs of glasses. Of course he did. She shook her head as she sat them down. There was a wool scarf on the back of his chair. She touched the scratchy material and ran her fingers across the Harris Tweed label. She looked around for Marsali. Not seeing her, she snatched the scarf and brought it to her nose.  She was flooded with his scent.  “No tears. He’s happy,” she whispered out loud. Claire sat down the scarf and turned to the small table with his ‘sporran box.’  She tilted it and peered at its contents; caps for missing pens, a nail file, half broken colored pencils, paper clips, staples, and pencil erasers. She looked to the side of the box and saw a new packet of unopened hair pins. “Oh god.”

“What’s that?” Marsali came floating in with Claire’s wedding gown.

Claire swallowed her tears. “It’s nothing, will you help me into it?”

Claire stood before the mirror, John and Marsali on either side. “What do you think?”

“It’s beautiful,” said Marsali, “it really suits ye. Jamie knows what he’s doing, aye?”

“Yes,” Claire breathed out. This time she let two tears escape. Turning to John, “will you take my picture? I want to remember it.”

John and Marsali exchanged another look.

John took several photos of Claire. He printed a few on HF’s high resolution printer and handed them to her. “We’ll see you on Friday for the last minute detailing?”

Claire didn’t answer his question, but pulled out her credit card. “I know you charged Frank Randall for the deposit, but will you refund his money and charge the entire balance to this.”

John said nothing, but grabbed her card and turned to complete the transaction.

“Will Jamie get in trouble? If the dress isn’t seen?”

John turned back to face her. Marsali was at her elbow, “do ye want a different dress?”

“No, no. I was just curious.”

“Well, no,” John answered. “It isn’t public that Jamie or HF is designing your gown. No one’s expecting it. If it were well received it would help his career, but if you don’t wear it, the public would be none the wiser. Also, Geneva’s kept most of the details under wraps from HF’s other designers and corporate. He’d be fine.”

Claire felt queasy remembering Geneva’s arm entwined with Jamie’s as they went home together.

“I see.” Claire pulled an envelope from her purse. “Will you give that to Jamie when he returns to the studio on Friday. It’s not important, it will keep till he returns.”

She thanked them and was gone.

                                                       ********

“Christ! I almost slit my own wrists.” Jamie announced to John as he entered the studio. “Ye’ve no idea how asinine those meetings are – why the hell do the designers need to be there?”  

John laughed, “boss problems, eh?”

Jamie flipped him off on the way to his office. He noticed a small Christmas tree on his desk. Marsali. He moved it to a back shelf and glanced at his overflowing inbox. He ignored it and sat.  He felt exhausted - he’d barely slept the last three days. It was as if his subconscious decided it could slow down the passage of time by not sleeping. Delay the arrival of today; the day of Claire’s last fitting.  Jamie hadn’t left a message when he called her. He didn’t know what to say. Claire didn’t return the missed call either. He scrubbed a hand across his face and reached for his inbox. There he noticed a small stack of photos that were paper clipped together. It was Claire. Claire, in her nearly finished gown, in a photo he had not taken. What the devil? He stood. He flipped the first photo over and then back again. He fanned through the rest of the photos and ran to the door.

“John! Marsali!”

After they both explained, Jamie stood silent.

“I knew we should have called him,” Marsali said to John.  She looked to Jamie, “what’d her letter say?”

Jamie blankly stared.

“I attached an envelope to the –“

Before John could finish his sentence, Jamie ran back to his office and reached into his inbox. Her letter had become separated from the photos.  He tore open the letter.

Jamie,

Thank you. The dress is exquisite. Absolutely stunning. But knowing your talent, it could not have been otherwise. I deeply apologize for wasting your time, but I couldn’t go through with it. I left Frank.

Jamie’s hands started to shake. He stopped reading and touched the discarded envelope. If the envelope were real, that meant the letter was real. He focused back to her letter.

I hope you’ll forgive the cowardly way I’ve chosen to tell you about the dress, but I’ve always hated goodbyes. The dress is fully paid for and you have my unreserved permission to sell it to someone else.

Jamie, I must have re written this letter a dozen times and I’m still unable to adequately express what meeting you has meant to me. I’m not embarrassed to admit that you saved me. You saved me, James Fraser. You helped me to save myself. And I will be forever grateful.

I wish you all the success and happiness that you so richly deserve.

Claire

“Damn you!” Jamie yelled at her letter. “Damn you, woman!” Shock turning to desperation, “why did ye no come to the studio!?” His fists curled. A sense of shame washed over him – he knew something was wrong since the gala, yet he’d let her be just as Randall would have done.

Now, his only thought was finding her. It didn’t matter how or where, whether she wanted him or no, he had to see her.

His fingers were unusually slow and clumsy as he tried to dial her number.

“Here.” Marsali took his mobile. She’d come to his office door to check on him.

Jamie thanked her as she left and closed the door. The line immediately went to voicemail. Ifrinn!

“Claire, where –“

Jamie heard raised voices through his office door.

“Fraser! You bastard!” Said the unmistakable voice of Frank Randall.

Jamie walked to the lobby.  Randall’s eyes focused on him as he spat, “Where the fuck is my wife?!”

[iblue-kitzune]

Of Rising Calamities Beyond the Cosmos: Chapter 1

There was a great storm approaching—one big enough to cover all of the islands that were scattered across the vast deep blue sea.

At least, that’s what the travelers and the wildlife had said not too long ago.

Even within the depths of an eerie dark cave, one that she was currently exploring at the moment, their whispers reached her sensitive ears. She immediately stopped her in her tracks.

And despite being in the middle of discovering something in this mysterious dungeon that was incredibly too damp and filled to the brim with god knows what, aside from the occasional wild animals or monsters that came out of nowhere to attack her—interrupting her search on nearly every floor she went through only to piss her off when one of the bastards got a lucky hit in and ripped a hole through her favorite sleeveless jacket, which earned him a quick ticket to hell, the young woman listened.

She listened to their warnings, their calls of distress that were laced with fear and worry. With a disappointed sigh, the young woman flicked her right hand and made her ruined jacket disappear into one of her many dimensional pockets.

‘I will come back here and try again next time,’ she promised in her mind right before she vanished from the cave in a flash of blue-white light.

                                        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX      

Chaotic streaks of white lightning danced across the midnight blue sky in waves, bringing along its rumbling call of thunder that spooked those roaming around down below into action, and a downpour rain that soaked them to the bone.

A sudden flash of lightning struck, hitting the boulders on an empty port near a beach covered in coconut trees that stood tall in the very back where the exit was, shattering it into pieces with its powerful force. Unfortunately, this scared off the many critters and birds hiding up in the trees into the forest, heading right for the valley that was connected to this place.

                                        XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Fighting against the sudden force from a gust of wind that came and nearly swept them off their feet, the animals on ground floor ran on —a bit with slight difficulty— while those up in the crackling air flew on and on. Their high-pitched cries, roars, and caws echoed across the valley filled with shimmering huge trees, giant boulders, and stonehenge pillars that glowed lavender underneath direct light, colorful wildflowers that danced from side-to-side in timing with the blowing of the wind, bright blue rivers that sparkled ever so radiantly at night whenever the full moon or stars came out to play, and a mountain with snow covered tops that stretched far and wide over an area where a beautiful silver-blue and white citadel lay in waiting at the bottom near a waterfall.

It was a place that not only held an entire city inside, but it was a city that housed a couple of special schools and academies too—with at least eight of them being well-known throughout the whole world. However, out of those eight, only four of them taught both academics and magic. The type where students can receive their education and learn how to fight all in the same building.

And because of that, these institutions were considered by many to be one of the best. Why, some of the most brilliant people and warriors have graduated from here—some even came back years later and tutored here or taught classes here, after they went on and got their doctorate’s degree out of the way, elsewhere, that is.

Unfortunately, due to the location of this place, considering where it’s situated at and all, the fortress tends to get attacked by the local wildlife and monsters living in the area or get hit with thunderstorms and blizzards every once in a while.

ZZZOWP!

“Caw!” startled cries escaped from a flock of birds when a bright bluish-white light appeared above their heads. Then with wide beady little eyes, they watched the light disappear only for a human woman with long dark brown hair and golden brown-amber eyes to appear out of it and fall past them, heading for one of the high tower bridges of the citadel below them.

“A thunderstorm huh? That’s odd,” she commented once she grabbed a hold of the bridge’s railing and lifted herself up and over it...

Only to get hit by something small and hard.

“Ow!” she looked up with a grimace and paused. “What in the—hail too?! Yeesh! This is just not my day huh?” the young brunette complained, wincing in pain when she felt a few more drops of hail hit her on the head just as she ducked underneath the surface and took cover on the third’s highest floor she was on.

“It’s a good thing I choose this floor and not the damaged one with cracks in it above me...” she mumbled. “Or the top floor where I definitely could’ve gotten more soaked.”

BOOM!

“Caw! Caw!” more birds flew past her vision overhead.

However, she was concerned about other things at the moment.

‘Let’s see...’

The young woman took the time to make sure her clothes didn’t get ruined any further then they did earlier during her scuffles with the monsters.

‘Hmm…it’s not too bad I guess...’ she said, eyeing the tiny creases mixed in with the stains of dried blood —not hers— on her wet tube top. ‘I’ll have Darcy wash it and fix Friday since it will be her turn for laundry day,’ she added and continued her inspection.

Once she was satisfied and found nothing else amiss, the young woman turned and made a beeline towards the nearest pillar that came with a bench.

“Much better,” a relieved sigh left her mouth as she sat down and closed her eyes.

It was quiet for the first two minutes—save for the small occasional boom of thunder and whispers of the wind, but she didn’t mind any of that at all. She was just glad to be out of the weather for now. Well, at least before she had to go back out there again and head—

“Hey Dr. Foster!”

Damn. So much for peace and quiet.

“Jane!”

“There you are!”

She opened her eyes and looked over to see two of her friends and an old familiar face, one that she hasn’t seen in years, heading in her direction.

The first one to stop in front of her sitting form was a semi-tall woman with shoulder-length black hair, heterochromia eyes –with her right one being red while the left one was blue—, and a small scar running across the bridge of her nose. She wore white and black clothing with gold accents, some rider goggles around her neck, which sat over the red jeweled necklace she had on, and was armed from head-to-toe.

Next to the woman, a young man stood tall with spiky faux-hawk like white hair, blue eyes, and a cybernetic arm. He wore a dark blue hooded jacket over a dark crimson red shirt, black pants, and some black military-style combat boots.

Like his friend, he was also armed, but not as much as she was.

And finally in the back, an older man stood there in some kind of purple collared shirt and golden color tie underneath a dark blue business suit with his arms crossed against his chest. He had spiky brown hair, brown eyes, and a small beard forming under his chin.

And unlike the two in front of him, he was not armed at all.

But that didn’t mean anything seeing as not everyone carried some type of weapon or weapons on their person, and if they did, some of them wouldn’t even choose to have them hanging out in plain sight.

This is something that Jane knew all too well.

In fact, she, too, carried a few weapons on her person.

“Lady…” she finally spoke, nodding at the dark haired woman, “Nero…” and white haired man in greeting. “Alvin…” the young woman gave the brown haired man a quick nonchalant glance, ignoring his sudden slouched stance, and turned her attention back on her friends. “You two were looking for me?” she asked curiously.

“Yeah! Lady and I thought you were still out there in that cave you told us about over the phone earlier,” Nero answered. “But seeing as you’re here now, safe and sound from the storm, I guess there’s no point in coming to look for you anymore.”

Jane laughed at the small sheepish look on his face, “No, I guess not.”

“Told you, Nero! I knew she’d be fine,” Lady teased and gave the young man next to her a smug look.

Nero lightly glared at her. “Oh now you’re going to lie, huh, Lady? Admit it! You were worried too! That’s why you wanted to come with me.”

“I—I was not that worried.”

“Yes, you were!”

“No, I wasn’t!”

Jane hid a nostalgic smile behind her hand, silently laughing at the two as a small argument broke out between them. Even if she hadn’t seen these two and the other devil hunters back in Red Grave City in a long while, they were still just like how she remembered them.

Well, at least these two were. She didn’t know how Dante, Vergil, Trish, Kyrie, and Nico were doing or what they were up to these days, aside from slaying demons and all that.

‘Guess it’s time I pay them a visit in the near future. Maybe I’ll even run into Erik while I’m over there too.’

Though speaking of visits...

Jane ignored Lady and Nero’s ongoing friendly argument for the moment and turned her sights on the older man who observed the “fight” in front of him with slight amusement. 

It isn’t every day that the so called ex-mercenary –which he told her this in one of their old letters and among other things, such as the friends he made and how his life had finally turned around for him— comes down here to pay her a personal visit unless he had some information on him that he wanted to share with her.

“Alvin.”

The professional tone of her voice drew all of their attention towards her.

“Yo?”

“I know you usually don’t frequent visits to Earth unless you either have something to give to me or doing business down here, so which one is it?” she asked with crossed arms. “Actually, how did you even know where to look for me? I could’ve been back at home in London for all you know, so how?”

Alvin slowly yet nonchalantly corrected his stance and slipped his hands in his pockets. “Well you can thank your bubbly, little lovely lady friend with the sunglasses and the good-looking, eccentric rich guy with a nice beard and an ego the size of Texas for me. I told them I was an old friend of yours and was looking for you, and they so kindly directed me towards this nice little island here!” he chirped with a grinning smile.

Despite the urge to face palm or roll her eyes, the young woman kept her composure.

On the inside, however…

‘Damn it, Darcy! Tony!’

The smirk on Alvin’s face dipped a bit when he caught sight of the change of Jane’s expression on her face. “Hey Jane, what’s wrong—”

“Alvin?” Lady interrupted, immediately catching the man’s attention. “That’s your name, right?”

“Yep! That’s right!”

“Okay, Alvin. For one, you never told us your name when we ran into you earlier. And number two, you never told us that Jane was an old friend of yours other than “she’s someone I know” and “I’m here to see her too”…”

The spiky brown haired blinked. “Ah well…” he paused and gave the young black haired woman a small charming grin. “You never asked,” he stated, casually shrugging his shoulders.

Jane could see the irritation starting to settle in both Nero and Lady’s eyes. So before any of them could blow up on the man even though he probably deserved it for playing his usual games on people that he meets, she decided to jump in and save the poor guy.

‘Just this once,’ she sighed heavily, which ended up attracting all of their attention back on her again.

“You just couldn’t help yourself, could you, Alvin?” Jane gave the man a pointed look, and he just laughed in response. “Oh good grief. I see you haven’t changed that much in that department,” she shook her head, much to the confusion of her two friends who looked so lost and didn’t know what was going on between her and Alvin.

“Jane—”

“Don’t worry about it, Nero…” Jane reassured the white haired devil hunter with a smile when he turned to look at her in question.  “Alvin was just messing you and Lady. That’s all,” she clarified for him.

“…O…kay?” poor Nero still looked confused.

And as for Lady, she wasn’t even going to question it.

“Alright, enough of the fun and games you guys. Shouldn’t we discuss the weather situation at hand here?”

BOOM!

All of them suddenly jumped from the loud sound then got startled by the multiple flashes of lightning, which struck a top part of the mountain nearby. And the thought of being way up there, anywhere near that area, made them flinch a bit.

‘That could’ve easily been one of us.’

They were now suddenly thankful for being down here instead, where they would at least be safe and out of striking distance.

Alvin hummed, a somber expression growing on his face as he turned to look at three, although his eyes were more so locked onto Jane’s. “She’s right you know,” he said in a murmur. “And as a matter of fact, I do actually have something for you, Dr. Foster.”

Jane returned his expression.

“Let’s hear it then.”

                                           XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX            

Taking the Tesseract sounded brilliant in his mind at first. When he and the others saw Stark grab his chest in pain and crumble to the ground right in front of them, he immediately became puzzled…and a tiny bit suspicious. The injured god had no idea if this was some sort of trick, but he ignored them as soon as his faux brother and his new band of mortal friends, along with a few others, ran to the Man of Iron’s aid. Instead, he, without turning around, focused a little bit of his attention on one of the mortals behind him and the soldiers, calling out something along the lines of “Help!” and “Can someone get this guy here a medic please!”.

Then, before he could even comprehend what the hel was going on, a bang went off in the background and something flew across the floor and hit his boot, making him look down. And he couldn’t believe his eyes. It was the Tesseract! It was just...sitting there! Sitting oh so innocently on the floor and not in that strange metal looking case like it should’ve been earlier.

He couldn’t ignore the temptation, and immediately took action. The God Mischief looked around to make sure that no one was looking at him, and when they weren’t, he bent down to retrieve the glowing cube in his cuffed hands and activated it, immediately blinking out of their existence.

                                         XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX 

Well that went surprisingly…well, the raven haired god mused in his mind as he traveled through space and time. He thought for sure his little plan would blow up in his face considering that he hastily threw it all together in like, what, a split few seconds. But it didn’t! And, honestly, it shocked him.

Oh well, he wasn’t going to give any more thought to those incompetent fools now that he’s escaped from their hold. 

‘Wait a minute...’ and the realization of something else, something incredible, flew through his mind just then.

There was no going back to Asgard now…

No going back to The Other or the Black Order…

And, most definitely, no going back to Thanos and his Chitauri army to deliver the news of his failed mission, which he was sure by now that the Titan knew and will more than likely punish him for it—but still!

He was free!

For once, he was actually happy. And although he couldn’t remember the last time something had gone right for him, the god wasn’t going to let his own pessimistic thoughts or the “what-ifs” –that were currently flowing through his mind right now— ruin the rest of his day.

He could go wherever he pleased and they wouldn’t be able to catch up with him—not without Tesseract though, which was in his possession now. So with that in mind, he willed the powerful glowing blue cube to take him somewhere to safety and slowly closed his eyes.

‘Just a quick rest,’ he thought to himself as the cube glowed in response to his wish and teleported him out of the area.

                                           XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The raven haired god knew something went wrong the moment he sensed a couple of hostile auras in the area, and so, he opened his tired, weary eyes only to come face-to-face with an army of familiar alien battleships with their weapons aimed directly at him.

Oh for Valhalla’s sake! He knew it was too good to be true!  Stupid Loki for believing that sweet, sweet victory and freedom was within his grasps! And damn the Tesseract for dropping him here in the heat of fire instead of somewhere else.

Somewhere that’s safe.

Bah! Trust that blasted cube to betray him now. It’s like the thing wanted to get rid of him or something.

And now these fools demanded that he hand over cube unless he wanted to become space dust? Ha! Do these people really think they could— 

“Quit trying our patience, false Asgardian prince! Surrender the Tesseract now or we will fire!”

He sighed. ‘You really are a lot of trouble you know that right?’ the god looked down at the infinity stone in his hands and pondered over this new situation he landed himself in. Even though Loki resented the cube at this present moment and wanted nothing more than to rid himself of it, that didn’t mean he wanted to hand it over to Thanos’ cronies.

There was a reason why he made sure he purposely failed his takeover of Midgard and still made it look like it wasn’t his fault that the mission went south. He knew the Mad Titan wanted the Tesseract, and wanted it badly. He knew that Thanos wanted the other stones too. The guy and his army were still searching for them—and have been for a long time now. Sure, he didn’t know why they were looking for them in the first place, but Loki had a feeling that it wasn’t for anything good at all.

And he trusted that gut feeling of his, so maybe it was sort of a good thing Thanos never told him what his true plans were.

‘Trust...and loyalty... He never had mine to begin with and I never had his. Good. I didn’t need it or wanted it anyway. Only a fool would give either of the two away and expect me, in return, to fully hand over mine, especially over a deal or a promise.’

The god sighed once he finally made up his mind. He just hoped to Gods that he wasn’t going to get killed for this since his seidr was severely low at this point.

He closed his eyes once more and shook his head.

They didn’t seem to like that response as their cannons started glowing with built-up energy, and they demanded through the intercom, for the final time, to give them the Tesseract.

Instead of shaking his head again, Loki opened his green eyes and took a page out of the Midgardians’ hands—something that he’d witnessed before during his time in the void when he was spying on Midgard. He lifted both of his cuffed hands up—while letting the Tesseract go to hover in place before him— and shoved them forward with his middle fingers raised high up in the air.

And to add further insult to injury, the God of Mischief stuck his tongue out at them and waved good-bye before he quickly grabbed the glowing cube and bolted.

When they realized what the god had just done—let alone have the nerve to do it without even speaking to them telepathically, which they knew Loki was quite capable of it, the group chased after him in pure rage.

                                            XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX             

‘Oh shit…’ he suddenly and uncharacteristically cursed in his mind when the battleships quickly caught up to him and started rapidly firing at him.

Despite his weakened appearance, Loki managed to dodge all of the blasts and with the little bit of seidr he had left, willed his body to change.

In a flash of green light, he transformed himself into a griffin and transferred his hold on the Tesseract over to his tail and flew off. ‘What the—’ the god narrowed his eyes in deep annoyance when he realized that the blasted contraption attached to his beak was still on. He thought for sure the muzzle would break under the force of pressure due to his body changing, but it didn’t.

In his exhaustion and rage, he completely forgot to dodge the next set of beams and got bombarded from all sides.

BOOM!

Before the battleships could proceed forward, a bright blue light exploded from within the smoke cloud and blinded everyone.

ZZZZZPPT!

When the light in the huge receding smoke cloud died down and the Black Order along with the Chitauri inside opened their eyes and looked out the window of their ships, they found the Tesseract and Loki Laufeyson, who they’d once thought was dead, no longer there.

They were gone now.

                                           XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

‘Where…a…are…y…ou…ta…taking me?’

The cube was silent.

‘Fine…whatever…’ he truly wasn’t in the mood to try and argue with an inanimate object that held some form of sentience and a lot of power.

With his energy completely spent and his body slightly numb from the waist down, he couldn’t move. 

He couldn’t do anything!

Then his vision blurred, and Loki found himself falling for a second time.

Why was he not surprised by this? He thought he would be. But then he remembered something, something so minuscule that really shouldn’t matter at all. Why should it?

But still...it was something so important that it should never, ever, be forgotten.

The Norns hated him. They always did. And that will never change. He was sure of it.

So in conclusion, this must be their doing. They must want him to fail and perish.

……….

.....

Well then, if he died during the fall—or after, this time around, so be it.

                                            XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

“—So it’s like that in other parts of the world other than here, on Snow Lunar Island, and London huh?”

“Yeah, pretty much, Kid.”

“That’s a bit concerning to hear then...”

Jane stayed quiet as her two friends spoke up after Alvin just got done explaining the news he had for them. She had to agree with Lady though. It was one thing for the island to experience frequent thunderstorms such as this, but for places such as Puente Antiguo, New York City, Stuttgart, Sokovia, Wakanda, Norway, and many others to experience this same kind of storm, and mimic its intensity at the same time too, was —she wasn’t going to lie— a little alarming. 

It was practically unheard...

And to make matters worse, if she recalled correctly, it stormed the day she got here. Hard. Really hard. And sure, she was a couple of days late because of delays and all, but at least she and the other passengers on the ship made it to Snow Lunar Island, safe and sound.

That happened about six months ago, and since then, it has stormed over a total of four times already—with this one being the fifth, Jane realized with a start.

It just now dawned on her that the storms never really went away. At best, they lasted for about a couple of days before they died down, only to pick right back up where they left off again, a few weeks later. 

It was an ongoing chaotic cycle. Rinse and repeat until...

‘Today...’ she said, looking uneasily at the sparks of white-blue lightning running along the thick dark clouds in the rainy sky, mixed in with the hail that fell through the cracks within.

“I don’t know if Mother Nature’s been PMS-ing lately or whatever, but this, THIS, I can guarantee you is not normal! All of the animals and other creatures I’ve come across lately have been going stir crazy! Hell, even the demons that Lady, I, and everyone else have slayed on our past missions gone bonkers! More so than usual in fact! It’s more than a little nerving I will admit, but I shit you not, the last mission I went, the Old Man, Pops, and I witnessed a fucking Blitz  —which is an elite demon in terms of being the strongest of ranks mind you— running around in circles like a damn headless chicken. And you wanna know what it did next? It fucking kamikazed itself with us right there! And while I’m sure it definitely noticed our presence there, it didn’t care enough to turn around and attack us!” Nero’s shouting broke the young woman out of her thoughts.

Lady was shocked, “That’s...”

Nero continued, “Let me tell you...that was undeniably one of the most bizarre-st of things I have ever witnessed in my entire career of demon hunting. Seriously, you know something’s gone wrong when even the blind one ignores the Sons and the Grandson of Sparda in favor of something else and decides to off itself.”

“You know...I think I remember witnessing something similar a while back like that out here...except, it was a behemoth arctic dragon and not a demon. The poor thing looked so scared too. I literally witnessed the dragon throw itself off a cliff and into a pool of hot lava in the other cave I was exploring not too far away from here. It was awful,” Jane threw her own two cents in.

Nero and the other two turned to her, horrified.

“Yeah! See what I mean guys?!”

“Okay, that is disturbing...” Alvin and Lady said in unison. “I can’t even begin to imagine...” they trailed off, unable to finish their thoughts.

Jane nodded solemnly, and turned away. In a way, she supposed it was a good thing that neither one of them weren’t there to see and hear the reptilian monster’s shrieks of agony as it was burned alive...

Or experience the horror and helplessness she felt after when its body finally melted and sunk under the lava, cooling its boiling surface as a fog of mist rolled up and covered the area.

...That image gave her plenty of nightmares. And still does to this day, but not as much, thankfully.

“Every monster, animal, and creature out there, except for the majority of us “humans”, knows what’s up. They sense...something. I think it’s about time we should do the same because I don’t think this weather is going to get better anytime soon. At the rate this storm’s going...if it continues to get worse...worse than what’s happening right now, then I’m afraid we’ll all be in real big trouble,” Nero finished.

Alvin and Lady nodded.

“There’s also the issue with increased activity of anomalies happening up there that we need to worry about too,” Jane pointed out. 

Nero looked and blinked at her, “You mean up in space?”

Jane nodded.

“You’ve been keeping track of them, haven’t you? I thought you were supposed to be on break?” Lady gave her an exasperated look. “Wait...? Are you even on vacation or...”

The young brunette frowned, “Of course I’m on vacation. But that’s not going to completely stop me from doing work or making new exciting discoveries out here!”

The men shook their heads with a sweat drop while the devil huntress put hers down with a sigh.

“Oh Jane, what are we ever gonna do with you...”

Before the young scientist could come up with some kind of sarcastic response or retort, her body tensed up. 

And so did Nero’s.

‘What in the world...’ their eyes went wide in shock when they felt an overwhelming amount of energy appear on their radar, and it nearly crippled them to their knees not only because of how raw and powerful it was, but because of how darn close it was too. Like it was heading towards—

Lady narrowed her eyes and placed a hand on the shoulder strap holding up her Kalina Ann —that was placed on her back— when she saw Jane and Nero turn their attention to the sky. 

“You two sense something?” she asked, following their lead with her own eyes.

Without looking away or say anything, the two nodded.

“What the hell is that?!” Alvin blurted out, pointing a finger at the changing colors of the dark sky.

“Is that an aurora borealis forming?”

“I believe so.”

They couldn’t believe their eyes. Right before them, the rainy sky glowed once, then twice, and thrice. And suddenly, one by one, a stream of blue, green, yellow, purple, and white lights appeared. 

This, combined with the crazy weather that was still going on in the background, made the whole image look so...surreal. Like something straight out of a fantasy visual novel or videogame. It was hard to believe that something like this was happening right now.

“Whoa!”

“Hey look at that you guys!”

“It’s so pretty!”

And from the commotion they could hear a few floors down, it seems like the people shared their thoughts as well as they all came out and formed a single long line along the railing of the tower bridges below theirs to watch the strange phenomenon from their own respective floors. 

‘Brother is coming...?’ the faint whisper of a long, dormant feminine voice, one that Jane hasn’t heard in a long time, spoke up. ‘But something’s off... He feels...different...this time.’

‘Huh?!’ she uttered in complete surprise and confusion.

‘Brother should’ve been gone like the others...except for Mind and Time...but...’

Before the young woman could even begin to question the remnants of the Aether, she heard the sound of incoming footsteps.

“Auntie Jane!”

Jane and her friends turned to the side to see two people with black hair and brown eyes —one being in his early twenties while the other one was in her late twenties— running toward them.

“Hey Kagome... Hey Sota,” she said when the two stopped in front of her friends. “Aren’t you two supposed to be in class by now?” Jane looked at the siblings with furrowed brows, and crossed her arms.

“Yeah...” Kagome said. “But we got an email earlier from all of our professors saying that classes are cancelled for the rest of day. Power outage and all of that,” she explained with a small shrug.

“And you two thought it was a bright idea to come out here where it’s pouring like cats and dogs, and risk catching a cold or getting struck by lightning, instead of going back to your dorm rooms where it’s warm and cozy inside?”

The two flinched at that.

“Well, when you put it like that...” Sota trailed off when he saw the dark look on the older woman’s face. “Nevermind! It was a stupid idea,” he quickly bowed his head in apology, his eyes filled deep shame.

“Yeah, we’re sorry, Auntie...” Kagome quietly said, fiddling with the end of her shirt’s sleeves.

Jane sighed, “Just don’t...don’t ever do something so reckless like that ever again, okay?”

Sota nodded, silently, while Kagome looked at the woman, worriedly.

“You’re not going to tell Dad are you?” she asked with slight hesitance in her voice.

Jane uncrossed her arms and closed her eyes with a heavy sigh, “I should, but I’m not going to...” then opened them back up and looked away. “Not this time at least,” she mumbled that last part like it was an afterthought.

The two black haired siblings looked a little relieved at. 

“Umm...what is that?”

Everyone looked in the direction where Alvin was pointing at and saw what looked like a meteor falling from the sky. 

“Is that a meteor?”

“It looks like it—”

BOOM!

The loud rumble of thunder startled everyone standing within their own respective tower bridge floors so badly that some fell back on their butts while a few almost went over the railings if it hadn’t been for those nearby who pulled them back up.

BOOM!

Seconds later, a sudden giant flash of lightning appeared, nearly way too close for comfort, and light up the whole sky, blinding the crowd who let out surprised screams and covered their eyes. Because of this, they missed the second flash of lightning, and this time, it struck something.

KABOOM!

The crowd opened their eyes and looked up just in time to see the ball of fire get knocked off its course, and instead of getting destroyed upon contact like they thought would happen, the meteor flew to the side.

And much to their surprise, it was now hurtling itself straight towards the ground at an alarming speed.

‘Oh no…’

Before anyone could shout out a warning, the meteor flew out of sight behind the trees and landed somewhere in the valley with an explosive crash, sending out a massive shock wave of energy that rippled through the earth along with a bright blue light that engulfed them and the area whole.

                                             XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Pain…so much pain…

Deep and agonizing…

He could feel it in his tail…

His legs…

His groin area…

His chest…

His arms and shoulders…

And finally, along the wings on his throbbing back, which felt like they were on fire.  

No matter which way he turned, or even if he moved just less than a centimeter, his body roared in protest. And he bit back a whine, nearly biting his own tongue off in this process, as he flopped back to the ground, which smelled like burnt grass, and the strong stench of it nearly made him gag behind the muzzle that was still somehow attached to his beak.

It, along with the pain, brought him to tears. A surge of anger and frustration burned through him as they leaked from his eyes and ran down his furry cheeks and over his bleeding cuts, stinging the hell out of him.

As the defeated god continued to lay there on the wet ground, broken and bleeding in a pool of his own blood, only one thought ran through his aching mind as his muted green eyes surveyed the lightning flashing so ominously —almost mockingly at him it seems— in the dark rainy sky before they slowly shut closed.

Why…? Why was he still alive? 

                                              XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Nothing but silence filled the air. Questions flew through the minds of everyone standing or sitting completely still in their spots, eyes shut closed behind arms that came up to cover their heads from the blast that occurred a minute ago.

Right as the people were beginning to give up hope, wondering if they were still alive or not, their ears picked up a new sound.

“Oh my god...!” Sota whispered in awe.

Slowly, everyone’s eyes fluttered open and they looked up to see Dr. Foster along with Stark’s Eldest Daughter hovering in the air a few feet away from the citadel, with their arms stretched out, behind a dome of swirling energy that hummed and glowed bluish-white.

Alvin along with everyone else gasped in realization at what the two ladies had just done.

“It’s a barrier,” Lady confirmed.

Whispers broke out amongst the people as Jane Valerie Foster and Kagome Higurashi Stark lowered their arms and lifted the barrier up.

“I think a small group of us should go check out what crashed down there.”

Alvin along with Sota and Lady frowned at Kagome’s suggestion.

“Uhh, Little lady, I don’t think—” the ex-mercenary trailed off in shock as an explosive burst of mana in the shape of bright purple and white flames erupted from the young scientist’s body and engulfed her whole. “What the...!” then within mere seconds, a newly transformed Jane broke free from the veil of mana-like fire.

No longer was there a human hovering in front of them all, but a canine-vulpine spirit with flowing waist length orange hair and yellow-red highlights, large fire colored wolf ears, and four fire colored fox tails with black tips at the ends.

“She’s right, you know…” Jane looked over her shoulder at the crowd, her purple eyes encased in the black sclera staring intently into their own orbs. “Someone’s gotta go down there and make sure it’s just that, a meteor.”

The frown on Lady’s face deepened. 

“And if it’s a threat?” she asked, crossing her arms. 

It was at this point Nero knew what he wanted to do, so he made his first move. He stretched and placed a hand on the devil huntress’ shoulder, making her look up at him in surprise. “Then we will get rid of it,” the spiky faux haired devil hunter said as he gave Lady a reassuring look and a single pat, released her shoulder, and walked past her. “It’s just as simple as that,” he grabbed a hold of the railing and leaped over it.

“Nero…” Lady watched the young quarter demon transform in a flash of blue light with a gleam of worry in her heterochromia eyes. 

“Don’t worry, Lady! We’ll be fine,” Nero threw a confident smirk over his shoulder, his voice a bit gruff and demonic due to him being in his Devil Trigger form, as he joined Jane and Kagome in the sky.

“You better, Nero!” Lady gave him warning as she and others waved at them. “And you too, Jane! Kagome!”

The transformed devil hunter chuckled in response while the two ladies smiled. “Okay...” Jane looked between her friend and niece figure and motioned the two to move closer to her. “Ready?” she asked when they both grabbed her hands.

“I am.”

“You betcha.”

“Alrighty then.”

In a flash of bluish-white light, all three of them disappeared.

                                            XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

While he waited for the inevitable—or for something to happen, Loki dreamed.

He dreamed he was in a grassy field surrounded by darkness and filled with a lot of white noise. There was chit chatter flowing all around him. It took up the majority of his attention, and he wanted to know what it was all about.

So he concentrated, and listened, blocking everything out of his mind such as the downpour of rain and some kind of balls of ice hitting him —not that he could feel them of course, but he can definitely hear them make contact with his body— and the sensation of...something...entering his numbed body. He focused on the words and not their meanings.

He heard three voices. One male and two females. The god didn’t have a clue on what their identities or origins were, although one of them did sound slightly familiar to him. 

How strange...

“—Can’t believe this one griffin caused all of this damage here.”

“Well, thankfully he didn’t crash into the ocean; otherwise, he would’ve drowned. And I’m sure something like that would’ve made it into the news on TV too.”

“Yeah...”

“Still, it’s incredible that he not only survived the fall, but survived getting struck by lightning too. Tough little guy he is.”

“Mhmm... When’s Nero coming back?”

“Hopefully soon. That powerful surge he and I felt earlier...I hope he finds it and recovers it before anyone else does. A power like that should not be left unattended. It would be extremely dangerous in the wrong hands if anyone with...questionable intentions were to get a hold of it.”

Shit... They were talking about the Tesseract. How did he not realize he’d drop it?!

“You...you have an idea of what it was, Auntie?”

“Sort of...” the female voice —the one that sounded vaguely familiar to him and had a slight melodic tone to it— paused. “It had the feel of an Infinity Stone, I think. Not sure which one just yet.”

“Unless Nero finds it and brings it back, right?”

“Right.”

Oh that’s just fantastic now. He was on this dreadful backwater planet. On freaking Midgard. Where? He didn’t know and didn’t care. But still, it made sense that he would get found by some Midgardians sooner or later. The only thing that confused him though was how in all of Yggdrasil do they know about the Infinity Stones?

“You can take over from here, Auntie. My ki energy is getting pretty low...” the other female panted in a low voice.

Suddenly, that sensation he felt earlier—and promptly ignored, which he didn’t know why he did it in the first place— changed. It felt much warmer than the first one now. More powerful. And much more different, but still felt soothing all the same.

Almost like—

Loki’s eyes snapped wide open, and he wildly looked around the area, completely ignoring the tired black haired Midgardian woman sitting off to the side, for the one who—

“Stop! You’ll hurt yourself more if you continue doing that!”

Small yet warm delicate hands —that were dark blue in color. Odd?— held his face still and a wave of some unknown energy that felt almost like magic washed over him, clearing both his mind and emotions. Calming him down even.

In fact...his fear was now gone, much to his shock. 

How...? How did she even manage to...

“Better now?”

Despite his vision being somewhat blurry, Loki slowly looked up and paused at the sight. He blinked in...surprise? Awe? Confusion? He truly didn’t know.

Shiny purple eyes, which glowed like amethyst gemstones from the bright greenish-yellow and white light coming off her hands, surrounded in a pool of black stared back into his green ones.

And that hair...it reminded him the colors of an evening sunset, which complimented the fire colored ears on top of her head quite nicely—huh?

What...was that?

Something in his peripheral vision moved, and one quick glance down with his eyes told him exactly what it was. 

Four beautiful long fire colored tails with black tips—that looked so fluffy and so soft that if he even remotely had the ability to move right now, he would touch them and test them to see if they were as soft as they truly looked, sat curled around the woman’s waist and ran along the length of his body from each side.

And wait a minute... Was he...? Actually, what was he sitting on? He could’ve sworn he saw...

His eyes darted back down again and...oh. He froze in shock at the sight of himself lying on his back in the woman's lap. How in the world did he get there?!

And more importantly, why did it take him this long to realize this sort of thing?!

“There! You should be fine for now.”

He blinked when the glowing light from her hands disappeared. And somehow, he felt better.

Not completely better...

But a little bit better than he did a few minutes ago.

This was definitely one of the weirdest dreams he’s ever had in a long time.

“Jane! Kagome! I found the source of the power!” a young Midgardian man with shocking white hair, to his complete astonishment, ran in holding a familiar glowing object in a transparent case of some sorts. “This is what we felt earlier, Jane!” he held it up for them to see.

“Nero! You’re back!” the woman with black hair, called Kagome, spoke.

“It’s the Tesseract...” the strange sunset haired woman, the one called Jane, uttered in shock. 

Jane... 

That name... 

Why did that name sound so familiar to him? Could it be possible that he heard that name before from somewhere? There were so, so many questions he had flowing through his mind like crazy now...

Damn...if only his head didn’t hurt so much right now...if only he didn’t feel so bloody tired...

Or dizzy at the moment—

“Oh hey! The little guy's awake,” the Nero guy said and stared at him. “He actually looks ready to pass out at any second now.”

The two women looked at him, and sure enough, he could hear the darkness calling out to him. 

“Oh no...”

“Hey little guy!”

“C’mon! Stay awake, Little one!”

Their expression of concern was the last thing he saw before his whole world went black. 

And because of this, the God of Mischief missed the chance to see Nero storing the case away in one of his dimensional pockets and transforming back into his DT form, missed the way Jane and Kagome picked him up and held him in their arms, and he definitely missed the way the three gathered around him in a circle, holding onto each other and him, before all four of them teleported out of the area.