#God they’re so funny. Ok Trigger

[fumifooms]

Babe wake up crotch matching icons of the OTP just dropped…? 😭

I WASN’T LYING. Sorry for the jumpscare man idk!!

Btw never noticed but it looks like he’s wearing her pants. The other guys’ waists weren’t his size I guess. Yay pants swapsies

[slavonicrhapsody]

What is it that you like so much regarding Eder Jori? Gonna be honest, I’m quite disappointed how much little information we get about her, granted she is the leader of a very important order. That being said, arguably one of the best themes in the ost.

honest to god it’s genuinely not even about the lore I just walked into that boss fight and saw a funny little creature casting spells and waving her little arms ringing the little bell around her neck and summoning her entire girl gang to obliterate me in increasingly hilarious ways. how could I not be charmed by that. jori sweep

ok but genuinely the lore of the inquisitor hags is super interesting and underdiscussed? I think it’s interesting that the Hornsent inquisitors are implied to be an all-female order:

and with that last sentence about how seniority is viewed as an asset to the inquisition, I think that means Jori is called the “Elder Inquisitor” because she’s literally the oldest one and that makes her the one in charge!

also, every time I’ve seen people talk about the crimes of the Hornsent, there’s surprisingly little discussion of the inquisition’s cruelty towards Midra and his followers? the implication is that the inquisitors targeted them for their supposed worship of the frenzied flame, which is forbidden to the Hornsent (for good reason)… but I think the horrors that the inquisition brought upon Midra’s Manse only strengthened the frenzied flame’s presence, since it seems to feed on suffering? the inquisition’s execution methods are particularly gruesome:

“Golden greatsword that once pierced the body of Midra, master of the manse. Used by the hornsent in the execution of a damnation like no other. The barbs that pierce the victim from within wind gently around the blade.” (Greatsword of Damnation)

“Greatstaff of Jori, elder inquisitor. The tip bristles with golden barbs symbolic of the inquisition's torture, allowing one to wield the staff as a greatspear.” (Barbed Staff-Spear)

“The arc resembles the barb, a known symbol of coercive questioning.” (Giant Golden Arc)

you can also see a bunch of people executed by golden barbs positioned in front of the Manse, as if they’re serving as an example:

but again, I think the inquisition’s cruelty towards Midra massively backfired on them because there’s a ton of inquisitors wandering around the Abyssal Woods and the Manse itself who have succumbed to the frenzied flame and are now casting frenzy incantations. I think Jori is guarding the entrance to the Abyssal Woods because she knows that the inquisition made a HUGE mistake contributing to the frenzied flame being unleashed, and she’s trying to contain it… and I think she has to summon the girl gang as spirits because she basically lost all her inquisitors down there to the frenzied flame and has no one left to help her. there’s also a lot of emphasis on the fact that the Hornsent inquisitors are targeting other Hornsent here:

“I beg you stop. Haven't I taken enough? Are we not brethren, common in our line? And yet, you offer only cruelty... I ask; what crime did great Midra commit?” (Manse Spirit NPC)

“A glove stitched together from the flayed skin of the victims of a butcherous bloodbath. Afflicts target with madness. Raises attack power when madness is triggered in the vicinity. Forged of an unyielding, black impulse toward revenge fostered in those who were hunted down as heretics by their own brethren, these are the weapons of the utterly downtrodden.” (Madding Hand)

so it’s a pretty important point that the inquisition’s cruelty is being inflicted on their own population… it wasn’t just people like the shamans who suffered at the hands of the Hornsent elites, it was their own people too!

basically this adorable creature has blood on her hands. she is a deeply sick and twisted individual

and yeah the boss music is pretty good too!

[its-time-to-write]

Hi,

Just discovered your page and I am obsessed! I was wondering if you could do something about Jamie getting hurt and the reader meeting him in the treatment room and comforting him? Or something along those lines, I trust you!

Thanks!

Dang, you’re putting my angst skills to the test! I wrote this instead of doing homework. Probs won’t post again till the weekend, but who knows? Not me, that’s for sure. Thanks for requesting!

feeling fragile, can’t you tell

Football matches are always tense. It’s all about squeezing Keeley’s hand when Richmond gets the ball, booing when they miss and screaming when they score. You never know how they’re going to end until they’re done, and god it kills you. Especially when Jamie has the ball. You feel like you can’t breathe until you see it swoosh into the net, after which your chest loosens up.

You love it. Mostly.

The part you don’t love is the part that results in the medics being called onto the field. Some injuries are accidental, some are on purpose. You hate those. You’ve watched more players kick, shove, and punch each other than you would care to count. Your least favorite injury so far was when a burly player broke Sam’s foot “on accident.” You thought Roy and Isaac were going to commit murder.

Jamie told you the next morning that the whole team egged the man’s house that night. That’s why he had been late coming over. He wouldn’t tell you who’s idea it was, but you have a vague recollection of Jamie telling childhood stories about egging houses with his friends.

Injuries are truly awful.

Which is why you’re standing stock-still in the owner’s box, clutching Keeley’s arm and willing Jamie to get up.

He’d done this thing where he kicked the ball away from the opposing team, but landed on his back funny. Rebecca whispers, “Oh god, it’s Roy all over again,” and you remember being told about Roy’s injury. The one that took him out of the game for good.

Jamie’s only twenty-five, you reason to yourself, he has to be ok. 

He still hasn’t gotten up. The medical team are rushing onto the field, and you’re pushing past Rebecca, running downstairs to go find him.

Keeley is hot on your heels, running as best she can in her heels which, honestly, is actually pretty good.

You’re not quite sure where you’re going, feeling blinded by worry. Keeley grabs your arm and tugs you toward the treatment room.

You burst through the doors right behind Keeley, who has almost run smack into Roy. He looks grim, more grim than usual.

“What’s wrong with him?” you whisper, mindful of the atmosphere in the treatment room. Jamie is on a table on his back, face white.

“Passed out,” Roy responds gruffly. “Fucked his leg and back pretty bad, but doesn’t explain why he’s fucking unconscious.”

Tears are beginning to form, and Keeley wraps her arms around your waist. 

You move out of the doorway so the medics can pick up Jamie in a stretcher and move him to the ambulance.

You get a closer look at him as he passes by, features slack.

You feel like you’re choking.

—

The ride to the hospital is a blur. You’re not even sure how you ended up in Roy’s car, but you’re there, sitting in the back seat with Keeley’s comforting presence the only thing keeping you loosely tethered to reality.

Your mind is running through every possible scenario as to why he passed out. None of them are good. He’s messed up his back and leg before, but never to this point. And his face.

You can’t stop thinking about his face.

To be honest, he looked dead.

Panic starts to hit again, and it takes every ounce of control you have to force yourself to breathe.

—

You’re outside Jamie’s hospital room now. His doctor said he pulled some muscles, and passed out from a combination of too little water, food, and sleep. The pain must have been enough to trigger his body into finally catching up with itself. 

You sigh, and push open the door, Roy and Keeley promising to wait for you outside.

Jamie is propped up in the bed, IVs in his arms for hydration.

At the sight of you, he says a soft, “hey, babe.”

He’s still so pale, and the tears you’d been holding in start streaming out.

“What happened, Jamie?” you ask, sitting on the chair next to his bed. You take his hand in yours. “How did I not know you weren’t eating?”

Jamie’s quiet for a moment, and you can see a glimmer of a tear in his left eye.

“I dunno,” he replies softly.

He doesn’t say anything after that, so you’re just left sitting there, hand-in-hand, in silence. He’s staring at the end of his bed, you’re staring at his face.

When it becomes clear he has no intention of speaking up you say, “Jamie.”

He turns to you, eyes hollow. “Saw me dad last week.”

You blink. 

Oh.

“Oh,” you say out loud.

Jamie is silent for a beat, then says, “Didn’t tell ya because I didn’t want you to worry. He’s a piece of shit and my fuckin problem, not yours.”

You shake your head and bring his hand up to your lips. “Jaim. I’m so sorry. I am so, so sorry,” because you know exactly what he’s saying.

You had assumed you hadn’t seen Jamie due to all his extra training. 

You had assumed that he was taking care of himself in preparation for the game, like he always did.

You had assumed too much, because his dad was an unknown variable that threw a wrench in every place he found himself in. 

The last time his dad had shown up, Jamie had tried to stop eating. You say tried because you basically force-fed him after the first day. He also couldn’t sleep. You could feel him tossing and turning, getting up to pace around, just restless. You’d rub his shoulders, hold him close, but nothing worked. He didn’t sleep well for two weeks when he was finally so tired that his body pretty much just shut down.

So. His passing out makes sense now.

Jamie is gripping your hand, knuckles white, tears beginning to roll down his face. His face, which he is trying to keep stoic, and is beginning to return to its normal color.

“Jamie,” you say. “Jamie, you don’t have to keep all this in.”

He shrugs. 

“No, I’m serious,” you continue, “You shouldn’t keep this all in. We’re a team, you know? We’re supposed to share this kind of thing with each other, and if you think I don’t want to hear it or can’t handle it, then that’s a problem.”

Jamie whips his head around from his blank stare at the wall to your face. He whispers, “Are we breaking up?” fear evident in his expression.

“No,” you reply. “No. We’re just- we’re just figuring it out. I don’t want you to feel like you have to keep things from me.”

You’re beginning to lose feeling in your hand. Jamie is looking somewhat relieved, but still not great. 

“How long are you in here?” you ask.

“Doctor wants to keep me overnight. Make sure I’m hydrated or some shit.”

You hesitate. “Do you- do you want me to stay with you? I don’t have to, if you want to be alone I can just-” 

“Yes.” 

Jamie’s color is really coming back now, and he looks like someone’s removed a huge weight from his chest. “Yes, I would really fucking like it if you stayed. I can move over so you don’t have to sleep on that fucking shitty plastic couch.”

You crack a smile at that as he gingerly scoots over. You climb into the bed, mindful of his leg and the IVs. He throws an arm around you with less care than you think he should have, but you’re not going to worry about that right now so you just snuggle into his side. He’s warm, and you didn’t realize how cold you were until this exact moment.

There’s a knock on the door, and Keeley pokes her head in. 

“Everything alright, babes?” she asks.

“All good here, Keels,” Jamie responds. You give her a small smile, which she returns.

“Alright then, Roy and I are gonna go. We’ll be back to pick you up tomorrow, yeah?” She points to you. “Text me if you need anything. Won’t be getting much sleep tonight.”

You’re not sure if she means she isn’t sleeping due to the excitement of the night or because she’s going home with Roy, but she’s gone before you can ask.

You sigh and put your head on Jamie’s shoulder.

You say, “Don’t ever fucking do that again, ok?” but it comes out as a plea, voice on the edge of breaking.

He replies, “I won’t,” in such a soft, sincere tone that you believe him. 

You breath deeply for the first time that night, just glad that he’s ok and you’re together. You are a team, after all.

[spicyclover]

No one can hurt you

Summary : A dinner of revelation and tragedy.

Hope you’ll enjoy it. Let me know in the comment section.

Thank you! :)

Lots of love, xxx Spicy Clover

DISCLAIMER : Rewrite and final version of "All the things you said" | Netflix show: One Day at the Time | Elena’s Story part | Season 3, ep 2.  WARNING: mention of physical and verbal aggression! Su*c*de WARNING !R@PE! WARNING: mention of SU*C*DE WARNING TOUGH CONTENT, BE AWARE

DISCLAIMER:  This story is fiction and has no correlation with reality. All site names making acts, violence or any other type of aggression are used for artistic purposes, and they did not commit those acts

If you need help. Please get help. You are loved, and your life is valued. Even if you don’t see it, you are loved.

The Monaco Grand Prix is in a few days and you will be slowly preparing for tonight’s dinner. Charles decided to organize a small evening for the pilots and their respective companions. It is in a magnificent hotel overlooking the sea that Charles booked the room and privatized the chef of the restaurant. The luxurious life of Monaco in its greatest fullness, you are always amazed by all the secrets that this small principality shelters.

You were third-wheeling your best friend Heidi to that party. She and Daniel invited you after running into you in the afternoon at the marina. Since you were little you know most of the pilots. So you are happy to have been invited to celebrate this new year of racing in Monaco with them. The evening was going well until the subject of the conversation crumbled into something darker.

“I gotta admit, I’m getting kind of confused.” Ends up saying, Checo rubbing his nose with his glass. 

“Oh, my god, me too. What if someone says, “I am not sleeping with you tonight?” And then... an hour later, they’re like, “Eh, fine.” What’s that?” Ask Lando, completely confused. 

“Unsurprising,” Pierre whispers under his breath, laughing. You laugh at with him, ignoring Lando's thunder.

“How many women have said, “Eh, fine”?” Questions Heidi sarcastically. 

“Yeah, I got to make some calls.”

“Now I’m perplexed.” Says Max trying to make sense of everything he heard. 

“I know. It’s confusing. I hate to admit it, but I feel sorry for men. This consent thing is tricky.” Kelly responded and gets up to pour herself more wine. 

“No.” You exclaim annoyed by her comment. “Women always blame themselves, and then the man never has to take responsibility. During rape prevention week at the university, all the signs are aimed at women. “Girls, don’t dress provocatively. Girls, don’t walk alone.” How about, “Hey, guys, don’t rape.”" You look up at Pierre knowing perfectly it will trigger him.

“Oh, my god, why are we talking about that? I took a couple pictures as a joke, and Cece thought it was funny.” Pierre exclaims as he gets up from his chair to get himself another beer at the bar. 

“Did she? Or did she feel like she had to laugh ‘cause she doesn’t know what else to do with your hand on her boob?” Everyone around the table falls silent and waits. You get up from your chair and walk you way to Pierre.

“Ok, sweetie, take it easy.” Adds Sebastian taking your arm and tries to calm the conversation.

“No. He thinks what he did is cute. You are basically a predator.” You accuse, pointing your finger at him. 

“You’re basically a psycho.” Pierre replies, knowing full well it will trigger you.

“Good, call me crazy for defending a woman’s right not to be groped!”

“You’re mad ‘cause the internet told you to be. You don’t know my life or even leave this apartment!” Pierre screams as he approaches you.

“Because of guys like you!” You answer with the same intonation. 

“What are you talking about?” Charles asks, taking your hand for you to sit down.

You and Charles are special. You’ve been like ass and shirt since childhood. You’ve known him since you were six. For as long as you can remember, Charles has always been one of your dearest childhood friends. You have shared so much together. No one has ever made you vibrate like he does. Usually his simple touch makes you calmer and reassuring. But you are no longer able to appreciate this contact that you cherish so much.

“You want to know?” You said, scoffing. “Okay. A couple of weeks ago, Heidi and I were coming home from the movies, and we were holding hands. And we noticed these guys staring at us, and then we changed the sidewalks , and they followed us.” You speak with tears in your eyes. 

“What?” Sebastian says concerned in his voice. His turn your body to him.

“Yes. And they were going, “Come one, you guys, kiss. We really wanna see it. Just kiss.” They thought that was really funny, too.” You continue telling while drinking a sip of your glass.

“It was actually terrifying.” Ends up adding Heidi after Daniel stares at her intently. 

“It was terrifying. And then we finally lost them in a crowd and ran home...” You finish in a huff trying to hold back your tears. Your hand hides your eyes and you try at best to find your calm.

Charles, in his divine goodness, hastens to extinguish you warmly. At first, his touch hurts you and you have only one desire to remove his hands from your dirty body. Yet you cling to him like a lifeline. Deep down, you know it's time. Time to tell what happened that night, a year ago. Nobody dares to speak at your revelation and everyone feels guilty for not knowing sooner.

“Umm... Last year after the Monaco Grand Prix. Lance Stroll raped me. He was my friend, and he raped me in my own bedroom. And then, he threatened me not to tell anyone... but. Why did he do this?” You ask breaking down in tears. “Sorry, I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what... I feel.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” Sebastian asks tenderly, approaching you rubbing his hand on your back. 

“I tried, but... nobody listened to me.” You respond looking at Lando through your tears. Your eyes pierce Lando’s being. He doesn’t know where to put himself and his cheeks become red. He implores you to keep your mouth shut, but the situation no longer belongs to you. You feel the body of Charles being redeemed against yours and you notice that he followed your gaze.

“You knew.” He accuses Lando turning his attention abruptly towards him.

“I... I.” He tries to defend himself. “I didn’t know what to do.”

“Oh, you think she knew what to do either.” He yells, getting up from his chair and grabbing him by the collar. 

“Charles, let him go!” Orders Carlos. 

“You let her suffer silently when you knew what he did to her. I thought you were better than this. T’es qu’une grosse merde.” You’re a piece of shit

“Oh please, like you would have done something? We all know he’s untouchable and has done it before.” Admitted Lando, pushing Charles away. 

“What?” Sebastian speaks up. This is the first time he has heard this from his former teammate. He never thought he would ever see Lance in this light.

“Nothing.” 

“It’s nothing? He raped her, and now other girls too?” Charles advances again, preventing him from fleeing the situation.

“Don't play fouls, Charles. You were in his hotel room at the party in Abu Dhabi last year, and I quite remember your hands on some teenage girls, groping them.” He said suddenly, pushing Charles out of his way again.

“What?” You speak up, troubled by Lando's affirmation.

“It’s not what it looks like.” Charles turns to you, trying to explain himself. You get up from your chair and walk back as you see him approach.

“Don’t touch me.” You say, pushing him away. “Did you do it?”

“I... It’s not the same thing.” He justified himself.

“Yes. It actually is. Did you grope those teenage girls or worse raped them?” You ask scandalized. Charles, your best friend, your confidant, the one you most trust is capable of the same thing as the person who hurt you the most.

“Oui,” he admits in a small voice. “I didn’t want to.”

“You didn’t want to? What the fuck, Charles. What's wrong with you all?” You yell, taking your stuff and leaving as fast as possible. 

The thought of all this happening to so many more makes you sick. How could nobody speak up about this? You walk down the hotel hallway. You can hear footsteps and Charles's voice telling you to come back. When you get to the lobby, you ask for a taxi home. Tears fall down your cheeks, and you look at him as you push the door out. 

You take your taxi and give him your address. All you want right now is a shower. A warm and reassuring shower. To pull away all those memories and thoughts. You want to scream to the world. You want to smash your entire apartment down. You want to stay in bed for the rest of your life. You want to jump off the roof. You want to cut yourself so that the pain stops. You want to be set free.

You arrive at the complex. Your dark thought runs in circles in your head. Like a robot, you open the door, press the elevator, and finally unlock your apartment. You let your essentials fall on the ground with your bag and coat. Like a machine, you take your shoes off and open the lights. 

The sight of your home, which does not feel like home anymore. Since Lance pushes himself into you while you try to make him go away, this place hasn’t felt like home. You can’t even sleep in your own bed anymore. No matter how many times you clean the sheets, change the bed. This memory comes running back into your mind. Invade you like a parasite. 

You go to the bathroom and open the valve to fill the bathtub. You watch the water. You can hear your phone blowing up with notifications and calls. “Why does this world have to be this cruel?” You think, taking your clothes off. 

Your body envelops itself in the heat of the water, and you close your eyes. Your body slips in the bath. You head underwater. You hear focusing on your heart bit. You enjoy this moment of quietness and solitude. 

That’s it. You feel alone since that night he took your joy, your life, yourself. 

You can feel the water pressure you to gasp for air. Your head starts popping your blood. Your heart rises to find oxygen. You struggle. You have been struggling this long. You want to go, and you want to let go. 

You let the water go in, and suddenly, all the scary parts disappear. The explosion in your head fades away, and you’re not scared anymore. You find it relatively peaceful. Very peaceful. 

Strangely, you’re dreaming. Him with you. On a boat. Feeling the breeze in your hair. The warm sun on your skin. His light touches on your thigh. His breath on your neck. His lips are on your breast. You’re daydreaming. Are you? Is your mind trying to ease the pain in your heart? Is it even the day? 

Then. You open your eyes. You try to scream, but your head is under the water. You feel weak but strong. Sick but healthy. Chaos but at peace. You can feel your body wiggling, but your mind is different. No one can hurt you now. Quietly, your eyelids become heavy again, and what a moment ago hurt you the most now makes you feel good.

The water fills your lungs, and you sink more and more into the darkness. Nobody seems to pull you up. The seconds pass, but you no longer find the courage to go out. The bathtub disappears, and you find yourself in the sea. In a warm and welcoming sea; The Mediterranean. An infinity of blue. An infinity of sweetness. The noises are only deaf sounds, and you feel your brain more and more calm. The sun’s rays pass through the water, and you move further and further away from it. Your eyelids become more and more stretched.

Then you see beautiful blue eyes through the water. No fair. You can’t reach them but can’t stop staring at those ocean-blue eyes. Suddenly, you feel scared. Scared to leave those ocean eyes. You’re afraid, and you’re drowning under the waves of words you haven’t said to them, to you. 

You try to fight back this peaceful state, but darkness is an easier path than light. Suddenly the silence suffocates you, and you miss the sound surrounding you. 

Then comes the darkness.

When you leave the apartment, Sebastian watches Charles running after you. He can’t believe what has happened. He doesn’t want to consider it. How could he? He sees and goes to the door, and Charles is defeated on the ground. He passes by without a look and walk his way to the lobby. 

You have always been a fragile child. Even when you were a child. You were always this little fragile and precious porcelain doll. You’ve never been afraid of anything growing up. Sebastian always loved to see you grow up with him. Despite your age difference, he always considered you his little sister. The little one who needs to be protected from everything and at any cost. Knowing that you are suffering so much hurts him.

In the hallway, the walk seems long and endless, his thoughts wandering toward your shared memories. He remembers many summers spent in the countryside. At your grandparents' meadow, there was a vast field with a few horses grazing on the fresh grass. He remembers that beautiful-eyed little girl running in his direction.

You had dirt all over your clothes. Your hair was braided, and he still remembers the grass sticking in it. He remembers your laughter, which lit up the prairie thousands of miles away. Hearing you laugh has always been his favourite thing about you. Lost, it’s only when the doors block his way out that he remembers he has to go looking for you. He runs through the night towards your apartment.

Charles is devastated. Everything he tried to build with you has just broken in a moment. He feels lonely and ashamed. He wants you to know how much he loves you. How much you mean to him. How much you have become the center of his universe.

Before you, there was racing, and that was it. When you became something more his life change. It was as if you had lit the dormant fire in him. You have extinguished the flame since the death of his best companion, his father. You have given meaning to this quest. The stakes are not won but won for you.

He still remembers the first time he took you to his garage. You were with Sebastian. He was showing you around the Ferrari factory, showing you the different facilities, different parts. You were so captivated by his words, and your eyes were shining like stars in the sky. 

He remembers the moment when your eyes landed on him. The smile you had, and the dress you wore and the clip in your hair. He counts you. Unable to say anything. Captivated by your beauty.

“Hi, Charlie.” You said in your beautiful voice. 

He stuttered and blushed heavily. You laughed gently before putting your lips on each of his cheeks. He likes a kiss, and no, he likes your kisses. 

A hand falls on his shoulder, and he sees Pierre. Tears in his eyes prevent him from distinguishing himself perfectly, but he recognizes his friend.

“Don’t worry. She’ll come back.” He says softly. Taking him by the shoulders to lift him up and bring him back to the room. 

The others are still there. Confused and shaken, no one speaks. Silence reigns in the room, and no one knows what to say. Charles opens the patio door and leaves the fresh night air in the room. The city slowly began to calm down, and he heard the waves regularly hitting the harbour.

Daniel gets up and gets rid of the table. Putting this party away may make us forget the events that occurred. Heidi and Kelly help him while the others put orders in the room. No one dares to go to see Charles.

The hour passes quickly, and some decide to leave. They quickly greet the last remaining. Pierre observes his friend, who has not moved, and still looks at the sea.

It’s only when Charles' phone starts ringing that he looks away. He calmly enters the room and answers.

“Hello?”

You always liked the fields. You always loved hiding in the big wheat fields surrounding your grandparents' house when you were little. This stretch of yellow was as far as the eye could see. You liked feeling the stems between your fingers, the seeds melting to your touch, and the particular smell of wheat.

You remember a hot summer day. Lying on a tablecloth after a picnic, nature calms by this overwhelming heat, especially the calm of this yellow and green nature. You remember the farmer who held the farm. You spent days watching him working. Helping him through the mould. Watching him turn wheat powder into cereal. You remember this great man, always with a grain of wheat in his mouth that was constantly chewing.

You remember the hum that bees made at work. From wheat to wheat, pollen is harvested. You remember the nests in the hives that you created one summer. Your grandfather, with his jumpsuit, would go every morning and inspect the nests, and you loved watching him do it. You also loved to taste honey with each harvest. Honey is good. It’s sweet. It’s sweet. It’s wild.

You remember Sebastian. His blond hair, his smile, the sound of his kart engine. Many hours passed in his company at the track with his dad. You remember your big brother, following him and Sebastian all day long, like the annoying little sister you were. You remember falling from a tree after the boys thought it was a great idea to climb it. You see your brother jumping down the tree to get to you and hear Sebastian running back to the house to get help. You spent the night at the hospital. You broke your arms that summer, and you had a commotion. Your parents were furious and punished your brother for the rest of the vacation. 

You remember your first winter in the mountains. Mornings skiing, and afternoons making snowmen, eating maple syrup, drinking hot chocolate, just playing in the snow. See your happy brother’s face after he managed to get the last pancake.

You remember Sebastian’s victories. To see him move up from category to category. You remember his encounter with Hanna. You love Hanna. She is so sweet and kind. You remember your great jealousy towards her from the height of your twelve years. She who steals your Sebastian. She who steals your second brother. Oh yes, you were jealous, but she knew how to win your heart, and after all, she stayed.

You remember the Ferrari years. Everyone was in red. You saw the world with red glasses. Red like love. Red like anger. Red as the colour. Red as blood. It’s kind of at this time, when adolescence really starts that you start to change. Physically, mentally, and spiritually, you were no longer the wise little girl your parents admired and your brother despised. No, you grew up making mistakes, a lot of mistakes, until you met him.

Him. The golden boy. The one destined to be great.

You remember his perfume, his smell, his laughter, his mimics, his way of speaking, his way of being and his way of simply being. He intimidated you so much; this guy was destined for something big. Whereas you, we never expected much from you besides being pretty, lovely, not disturbing, quiet, and reserved.

Quiet. 

Reserved. 

Pretty. 

In those words, your brain falls into the dark side of your life. The darkened side of time. Painful and unhappy memories. The memories of him, the one who once was your best friend. He who once was your confidant. He who once saw fit to r*pe you.

To find you after the Grand Prix, in your apartment, in your house, in your home. To be a little too drunk, surely. To hold you firmly. To put his lips on yours. To hold your wrists. To put all his weight on your body. To force you into bed. To beg him to stop. To cry in silence. To feel it in you. To feel dirty. To feel unloved.

To feel alone, so lonely, too lonely. 

To find yourself curled up in a ball in a corner. To wait until morning for him to leave. To want to end your life. To end your nights. To seek help. To be abandoned. To be alone. To be dirty. To be silent. To be reserved. To be pretty.

To be pretty. 

To be pretty. 

To be. 

Silent is all you ask for. 

It’s been a long night. The hours have been staggering. The noises of monitors, nurses, doctors, and ambulances invade their ears. No one speaks, and no one dares speak. It is as if a white veil covers the weighing atmosphere and borrows all those present.

The wait is long, too long. They wait patiently for the outcome of this atrocious night, something that does not happen. Sebastian holds his head in his hands, tears have finished flowing, but his eyes are still red. He feels bad. He feels immense guilt. This mixture of shame, sadness, contempt and anger is eating him increasingly as the hours pass and pass before his eyes. He blames himself for not coming sooner. He blames himself for not holding you back. He blames himself for not seeing. He blames himself.

Full of life and ardour, this little girl was smothered under this icy water. Frozen in time. Only the repetitive sound of drops escaping from the pipe disrupted this freezing scene. She hides all her problems behind her smile. Never in his life has he thought of having this vision of you. This pure horror vision of an act yet so courageous. Because it takes courage to think about yourself before thinking about others. It takes courage to put yourself forward and not others. It takes courage to achieve what others have likely failed to achieve.

The roar of the machines stifled Charles. He closed his ears in the hope of silencing them. To see you with your tubes hanging around you, in you. On this hospital bed, this white bed, this room that feels the end. Eyes wet, Charles looks at your pale, serene face. The doctor’s words are dry and not encouraging. Your parents arrive a few hours later, a flight later. They cry. Your brother has tears in his eyes. Sebastian collapses in a corner. Hanna is there; a veil of sadness covers his eyes. Heidi cries in the arms of Daniel, who looks again in the eyes of Charles. Charles holds your hand, your hand. Your hands are cold, frozen by the consequences. Lando doesn’t dare to come in. He feels guilty because he refused to believe you, to reach out to you, see you, and see your distress. He preferred to become blind rather than awake. It haunts him.

Charles, sitting next to you, is watching people walk by. To say goodbye to you, goodbye, forever. He doesn’t want to. He can’t. You’re still breathing. Your heart is still beating. So why do you have to leave? Why did you choose to go?

“Why?” He mumbles one more time, his head against your ear. “Why are you not fighting?” 

“Cha... we have to go.”

“No... I-I-I can’t. I can’t leave her.” His voice breaks in a sob.

“Charles,” Pierre says, putting a comforting arm on his shoulder. “Let her go.”

“No...” Charles pushes him away, gripping your hand tighter. “She’s going to survive. She’s going to live. She has to live. You have to live.” He prays, kissing your cold skin.

Pierre sight and get out of the room. His family, her family, his friends, and her friends are here waiting for him. The visiting hours are almost over. Everyone wants to go back to their house and sleep a bit. They haven’t slept all night. Charles hasn’t slept all night. Pascale enters the room quietly. Staring at his son. 

“Charles. We need to let her rest. Will come back in the morning, d’accord mon bébé?” She says, taking him in her arm. 

He acquires at her request despite himself. Unable to fight anymore, fatigue slowly eats him away, and he knows that he is of no help if he is exhausted. He leaves the room not without a last kiss, a last look, a last goodbye.

On the following day, Charles came. Staying for hours next to you. Stroking your hair, mumbling your name, praying for you to wake up. He can't take you out of his brain. He can't take you out of him. You're haunting him. We realize how important it is in our life when we lose someone we take for granted. Charles looks at you as a friend until he realizes he loves you. Is it too late? Were you supposed to be?

Sebastian came a few times, only a few minutes. He can't unseen what he saw. He plays and plays the night in his head over and over again. Wondering what he could have done differently.

The doctors are not really optimistic about your recovery. Your body is tired. Your mind is exhausted. They did all they could do. All we have to do is wait. Wait for you to come back. Wait for you to fight for your life. How could you fight if you're not even awake? It's painful.

Strangely enough, he came. The rapist. The abomination of your life. You came late at night when everyone left. He felt bad. "It's too late to feel bad," you think when you feel his hand and you. You wanted to cry, to scream, but nothing. He left shortly after. Looking at you one last time. Looking at what he did to you. You hear from Lando a few days later that he got arrested. Other girls spoke, and there were enough accusations to start a trial. Even more strange, it did nothing to you. Well, how could you feel? When he toked everything you got and smashed it in a million pieces?

Sometimes, you can feel the warmth of the afterlife tingling your skin. You feel it right near you, calling you. Calling you to answer the call. You want to feel this feeling of peace, this quietness. You don't know how to feel. You just want to float. You forgot how to be happy. How to be. Why fight if you may never find yourself again? What were you made for? You wonder to yourself.

Time flies. A couple of weeks passed. You made some improvements for the doctors to feel optimistic for you to wake up eventually. You're stabilized by all those machines. Your parent finally arrived a few days after you were admitted. You can feel your mother's tears on your cold hands and the soft kisses of your father on your forehead. You can smell the sunflower Heidi brought you every time she comes to see you. Sometimes you want to react. To show her you listen. But you can't. Or you don't want?

The feeling of loneliness passed. You can see now how much you're loved. How they love you. You love to hear Arthur talking about your favourite series. You love to hear Sebastian remembering childhood moments whenever he found the courage to come. You love to listen to your mom singing your favourite songs. You love to hear Daniel telling dad jokes, hoping you'll smile in your sleep. You love hearing Lando talking about his latest Quadrant adventures or Twitch lives. You love to listen to Charles saying how much he loves you. How much his life is plain without you. You can't imagine somebody else cared so much about you.

That makes you cry. You can't show them you can hear. You can't show them you love them too. You can't show them how grateful you are or will be. More time passed, and the more you could slowly feel you were losing yourself. All you need to do is happen your eyes, but for some reason, it seems an impossible task to do.

"This is impossible," Alices says in disbelief at the creature rising upon her.

"Only if you believe it is." The hatter whispers, scared of the outcome of all this adventure. But wasn't this all the point of this madness?

"Sometimes, I believe as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

"That is an excellent practice." The hatters says. "However, just now, you might want to focus on the Jabberwocky."

"Six impossible things. Count them, Alice. One, there's a potion that can make you shrink. Two, and a cake that can make you grow. Three, animals can talk. Four, Alice, cats can disappear. Five, there's a place called Wonderland. Six, I can slay the Jabberwocky."

You feel yourself falling into the rabbit hole, and you have been in Wonderland all this time. That's it! You can do it. Six impossible things before breakfast.

"One, you will get a major in architecture."

"Two, you can drive an F1 car."

"Three, you can be happy again."

"Four, Y/n, there's a place for you in this universe."

"Six, I will fight for my life."

At this, though, he feels darkness rising upon you. Everything fades away slowly. You can hear the constant beep of the machines around you. You can feel Charles's hands against yours. You can smell the hospital room you're in. You can see the light shutters again you close your eyes.

Then... you breathe.

Feeling the grass on your feet. The autumn breeze cools down your spine. For the first time, you appreciate being alive. To fill your lungs with air, to hear the water crash against the rocks, to feel the sun warm up your skin, and to taste food again.

You feel a hand around your waist, and Charles brings you closer to him. He sticks you to his bare chest. He holds you firmly for fear that you will disappear again. It makes you smile to see him so loving, so gentle, and so attentive. You turn your gaze from the blue horizon to meet his emerald eyes. He smiles tenderly. His eyes sparkle with a thousand lights when you return his smile. You hold these eyes a few moments before you look wandering towards his lips.

If only it could be true.

If only you could be with him.

______________________________________________________________

Hi! Hope you enjoy this final version of the story. It took me sometimes to get back to writing but I'm getting there. I know some of you really like it and it's fill my heart with joy <3

Tag List : tyna-19 dessxoxsworld ynbutbetter alexander-hamilhoe honethatty12 janeholt3 mloyer karmabyfernando omgsuperstarg laura-naruto-fan1998

[onboardsorasora]

Renovation AU

Ok I tried to stop but I couldn't stop thinking about Renovation AU (especially considering I was literally going to write it then got derailed by Enchated AU: Christmas). And then when I wrote this little snippet it was like floodgates. so here it is Renovation AU in all its outline glory all 2k words of it 🥴🥴🥴I'll just put it under the cut

Max is a handyman/contractor. I know I know. We know how his hammer skills are and how he looks holding it and an axe. But let's just pretend he actually learned this skill and he's fucking hot about it and it triggers every competency kink.

He's built, he was able to grow into his stockiness and he's strong (I'm thinking like that tree splitting tiktok guy but not as Thor thick)

Christian hires Nyck as an interior designer and Nyck hires on Max and his small team. They get shit done. Geri wants to redo the whole cottage and they have until the start of the riding season? to get it done. (Don't question me. I know nothing about riding)

So anyways– they’re behind and Christian doesn’t think Nyck can manage the scope of the job so he fires him and hires on Daniel. Daniel’s a little bit more eclectic than Nyck– but he came highly recommended by Lewis and Seb and Geri loved what he did with their house in Switzerland so she had no problems changing directions a bit.

The problem becomes clear because Max and Nyck work well together, they know each other. Max doesn’t like big change and Daniel is a big change. He’s also good looking but that doesn’t matter. He’s annoying and picky and refuses to go by Nyck’s old plans and his laugh is funny and endearing and his face is pretty and his tattoos are cool.

But none of that matters. None.

Daniel is excited to get working, but he thinks Christian could have been a bit more forthcoming about how far behind they were. Daniel was expecting that maybe he’d be starting on some walls or something, he came with with swatches and tiles and everything. But no….the house is still pretty husk-like. And he’s annoyed cause now he’s standing there in his shorts and sneakers looking like a dick on this construction site.

Anyway, it doesnt matter because he comes prepared! He has like overalls in his raptor. So he grabs that and changes right there in full view of god and everyone. Why yes he is wearing his hot pink hot pants, thanks for fucking noticing. The creative juices always flow when he’s wearing them!

So he goes to Max– who is fucking hot– and also very angry with him. And Daniel gets it, because he and Nyck were friends and there's nothing worse than seeing your friend get fired for things out of their control.

No matter, Daniel is profesh. He can work in almost any environment and he’s not going to embarrass Sewis like that. They’re long time clients and friends. And their recommendations are always highly regarded.

So Daniel gets to work, first he’s helping this guy named Simon update the bricking outside, Geri wanted a whitewash on the southern side so the garden doesn’t get too hot and it’ll match with the new patio going in. Then he’s helping a guy named Genty inside the bathroom– a couple of the pipes needed updating. There weren’t any leaks but no one uses lead pipes anymore for reasons. And then he helps GP lay some new tiles in the bedrooms so that the floors are heated in the winter.

So this is going on for a few days, Daniel helping members of the team, building a rapport– keeping a wide berth of Max. Because Daniel knows when to not ruffle feathers. But he can’t avoid him forever, so finally when all the walls are up and the electrical is done. Daniel goes to Max with the new plans– because his part of the show is about to start.

Max…isn’t happy. Sure the changes aren’t that major, and it's not like they’ll be undoing anything his team has already done. But how dare this guy with his hot accent and laugh come in and befriend his team?! If Max had to hear one more inside joke that he has no clue about or hear his crew talk about Daniel this and Daniel that, he was going to throw a hammer.

So when Daniel comes to him one evening to go over plans, Max doesn’t really want to hear it. He’s come here in his shiny truck (untrue, the truck is dirty as fuck– they work in a construction site), in his tight fucking pants (ok true, Daniel’s work pants are a tad on the skinny side), and his fucking city boots (it was one day the first day. And Max will never let it go), and his gelled hair (ok fine, he makes sure to use his curl cream. Daniel is vain), and tries to take over Max’s job site.

So Max lays into him, letting out all his frustration and pent up sexual tension for this guy that he’s barely interacted with but hears all the time and sees his team– his friends enjoy his presence and maybe he also feels a little left out. And Daniel just stands there and takes it, doesn’t interrupt him, doesn’t fight back. Even when Max is saying blatantly untrue things– but he got a good rant going and Daniel wasn’t stopping him so he was just gonna keep going.

“–and your fucking hot pink–” Max cuts himself off because there was no reason to finish that thought. And Daniel gets this smug fucking grin on his face that Max just wants to kiss off.

“My hot pink what now?” Daniel raises a brow in a challenge that Max is so not going to take. But Daniel is nothing, if not a little shit. “Were you checking me out when I was oh so privately changing that one time Maxy?”

“You stripped in the middle of the driveway while everyone was working. That was hardly private, I think Daniel.”

“But no one else has mentioned my hot pink underwear Maxy Max. Did you like what you saw?” Daniel is dragging a finger along Max’s shoulder at this point and Max is just..frozen in place because how did we get here????

“I– well–You are changing in the middle of a site Daniel. You, of course, cannot be crying modesty now!”

“You wanna know what other colours I wear?”

“Don’t be silly Daniel.”

“Of course not Maxy, yesterday when I was tiling the guest bedroom with GP, I wore my favourite bright green pair that has some smokey black watercolour pattern. And when I was outside doing the patio I was wearing this pretty yellow polka dot ones.”

“I think that's enough Daniel, maybe. I do not–” Max is trying to push him away because when did he even get cornered by this wall? Who put a wall here??

“Oh but I think you’ll like the pair for today, you’re Dutch right? Do all Dutchies like the colour orange?”

“That’s enough Daniel I think! We–we can do the plan your way! It should look great–Geri will love it! I–I think I should go. Have a good night Daniel!” And Max manhandles Daniel out of his way and gtfo’s. He does not think about how Daniel’s waist felt under his arms because why did he even grab there??? He does not think about the fucking hot smirk on Daniels stupid face and kissable mouth and he absolutely does not think about Daniel’s ass in orange hot pants. Nope. He doesn’t.

That changes everything of course. He’s way more aware of where Daniel is in the house now. And its not like Daniel is going anything different. They speak now, and Daniel teases him with tool puns and very bad jokes and Max laughs at every single one because he’s down so bad. And everyone knows it.

Daniel makes random comments when they're alone, pouring over the blueprints and notes, about how Max’s thighs look like they can crush things and the he’ll make a loud offhand comment to the guys about having thighs wrapped around his face when they’re all making increasingly lewd sex jokes at lunch.

Daniel tells Max that he likes his thigh holster and Max internalizes the implications. So what if he’s blushing while they install the kitchen– he’s exerting himself!

Anyway they’re getting closer to the deadline, they have furniture delivery coming soon and there's still so much to do. Daniel has the team painting and wallpapering and Genty is doing the crown moulding and GP is finishing up the fireplace in the den and Max and Daniel are arguing about a chandelier that Geri wanted last minute. 

“We can extend it a little lower by three maybe four inches, c’mon Max it’ll really change like the look of the room. If it's too high then it’ll look too small and throws everything off.”

They're standing in the middle of the formal dining room, surrounded by chaos. Everyone is tired and a bit cranky because they’ve truly been going non-stop to meet this deadline. 

“It’ll be too low Daniel and the weight distribution will be off." Max sighs because he’s tired of arguing about this.

"Well if your guys installed the fucking beams–" Max had enough, he was tired, he was annoyed and he would not have Daniel complain about his team and fucking beams so late in the build. He sees white and he pushes Daniel’s chest. He’s mad, you don’t talk about his guys. He’s mad and Daniel is annoying and fuck. Max presses Daniel up against the wall and kisses him hard. And Daniel grips his shoulder and kisses him back.

And literally no one bats an eyelash because fucking finally. They can get shit finished now.

So they compromise on 2.5 inches lower. And Max is now wired because now he knows what Daniel feels like under him, pressed against him. Now he knows how his lips and mouth taste and what Daniel’s stubble feels like against his jaw.

It's late another night, the guys have all gone home and Max is with Daniel in the finally finished kitchen, going over what’s left to be done. Daniel’s team would be coming with the furniture install in 2 days so they needed to have everything done for them to take over.

Their time together is coming to an end and Max can’t stop looking at Daniel’s focused face while he makes a list and tries to figure out the best way to make things work. He’s staring at Daniel’s lips, at his nose, at the furrow of his brows.

Daniel looks up at him like ‘what?’, eyes wide and owlish? They really haven’t spoken about the kiss– not about it or what it meant or anything.

And then Max is kissing Daniel again and Daniel is all in. And it’s a push and pull between them and it’s hot and messy and they fuck right there in the kitchen. Daniel sucks Max’s dick in the nook that the stove’s supposed to go in and Max bends Daniel over the countertop (which they had argued about whether it was the correct height–it was).

Anyway so the house is finished, Geri is in love. Christian is happy with it all and life goes on. Max and Daniel go on a few dates, they fuck a lot and when Daniel got hired for another big job, he hired on Max as his contractor. 

It kinda went that way for a little bit, them doing jobs together, their teams merging until they make the leap to start a business together. Which incidentally happened before they took the step to move in together. Which is funny because they technically already did. A lot of Daniel’s stuff– clothes, plans, swatches– are already strewn around Max’s place and the cats know to leave the tiles and swatches alone. But moving together is a big step. Starting a business together is just smart. Anyway, they love each other and are grossly in love and their guys tease them about it daily. And Daniel now starts every job in his hot pink hot pants.

[lettersfromaplatypus]

It is taking me an embarrassingly long time to watch season 4 but here’s some episode reactions so far that nobody asked for (keeping in mind I was mildly spoiled just by being on tumblr)

Ep1: I was kinda on board for a few minutes until people started treating Klaus’s mental health issues like they were things he should just get over. His fear of germs is basically brushed aside and made fun of, they pressured him to go to places he SPECIFICALLY said would probably trigger him, he’s been sobering up but when he mentions this he gets brushed off or made fun of again AND THEN THEY STRAIGHT UP HAD HIM DO A SHOT AGAINST HIS WILL?? What the fuck that’s not funny and quirky humor that’s at best cringe and at worst is insulting.

Also I know from what people have been saying what is about to happen with this “Diego thinks Lila is cheating on him” thing and like… why couldn’t it have just been that?? It would have been frustrating, but they could have used it to laugh like “wow Diego you dummy” and it wouldn’t be purely creepy character assassination! You know it’s bad when I’m rooting for the “thinks their spouse is cheating” sub plot.

I did like seeing items from when they were the Umbrella Academy in the first season/as kids that was fun. And where did Sloan go? Did she die? Haven’t seen any mention of her but honestly am not that sad about it. Luther’s character keeps doing 180s but at least he’s nice in this turn?

Ep2: ok I have to admit that Luther getting gorilla-body back in the middle of his strip tease was actually funny to me. Same with Diego finally throwing packages well. Still hate this Ben for spiking them. It’s interesting how their powers came back and made them sick/out of control. Limp tentacle Ben…no.

KLAUS DIDNT DRINK IT YAY GOOD FOR HIM. Ok Viktor go off I like that he snapped at Ben. Ok, don’t hate me but… family road trip in a goodwill scooby-doo van with all but one member sick af, rolling down a road with Baby Shark playing in the background… THAT’S funny. The vomiting I could’ve done without.

Well fuck… the dilemma of Klaus not wanting his powers back but them doing it to save his life… god why. And what’s up with this girl?? Also their powers got upgraded? Is Luther bullet proof now? Why does Lila have laser eyes when her thing was mimicking others?

OH AND THE TIMELINE THING? I assumed this was a thing where there’s only one timeline, and each time they fucked with it it messed everything up— like trying to go back and fix things makes it worse because they’re only working with one timeline in one universe. That’s why Five ran into his past self who was about to go back in time to save his family during season 2. But then Five gets on the subway and apparently can go to different timelines? Which means that they just have to get back to their own? But wouldn’t that one still have future apocalypse?

[thelordofgifs]

A WILD FINARFIN APPEARS!!!

i really loved this chapter! Lúthien in her Finrod era is everything. And she's making friends 😩😩😩 my poor little baby she is everything to me and Also it looks like she's ready to return to her old maia shenanigans i like it

Morwen beloved i feel you... bright people can be So tiring sometimes

finarfin showed up and i was like HECK YEAH!!! THE MAN THE MYTH THE ULTIMATE POLL LOOSING CURSE BEARER!!! you have my permission to put him in the spinner and make him pathetic though he is very pathetic already. poor guy :(

eärwen is so everything to me!! i love my women angry and sad and bitter thank you

FINDUILAS AND CELEBRIMBOR ARE SO BABY I'M HOLDING THEM GENTLY IF ANYTHING HAPPENS TO THEM I'M BURNING THIS PLACE TO THE GROUND

all in all amazing chapter!! fantastic work beloved

p.s. the russingon section is. hmm. i'm not sure i want to know how their dirty talk sounds like- they're so sad and doomed. poor babies. why can't they just have nice things. just make their vassals suffer their shameless flirting over war maps i'm sure that won't end badly at all

p.p.s. "we should move our armies here and here it would make fighting against morgoth much easier" - "omg babe that was so hot" - "i know 😏"

thank you you are the bestest ❤️❤️❤️ writing that Finarfin section like hmmmm… which of my mutuals might this appeal to… a mystery unfortunately…

Anyway yes Lúthien is very much in her Finrod era (“mortals are so cute and they’re all going to die OH NO”) and we love her for it. Writing her and Morwen was very interesting to me – I wanted them to have a difficult relationship without falling into any “women hating each other” clichés, so I’m really glad some people liked that! Lúthien is canonically So Much – incredibly powerful, terrifying to all villains, half the characters in her story fall in love with her at first sight – and I think the flipside of that is that she can be pretty exhausting for someone reserved like Morwen! (I read Morwen as autistic – very much inspired by @outofangband’s wonderful headcanons of course – and Lúthien is unintentionally triggering a lot of Morwen’s sensory issues.)

Eärwen is so fascinating to me because I think canonically she must have found her children’s decision to go on with the march so hard to deal with – and they were even planning to use the stolen ships her people had been killed for, before Fëanor quite literally set fire to that plan! I’ve always thought she would have a hard time reconciling with Finrod when he returned to life (and her other sons, but I think Finrod returned first); his own kin were killed at Alqualondë and yet he eventually made nice with his cousins!

In tfs Finrod’s refusal to come forth from Mandos for Celegorm’s sake is a Significant Plot Point, even if it’s one I don’t give too much attention to. The sacred right of refusal… the idea that you can be given a blessing from the gods themselves and yet choose to throw it away… these are themes that are going to recur. (Partly why in recent parts Fingon has been thinking about Eagles, and what the favour of the Valar means.) But! The flipside of Finrod’s decision is kind of an ugly one. Eärwen has every right to her bitterness! She sees this as Finrod once again choosing his Noldor kin over his Telerin kin, and the betrayal really stings. I will confess that I am not entirely sure how this is all going to pan out, but politics in Aman are going to have Ripples as a result of Finrod’s choice.

As for russingon – look this is my murder warlord OTP and I adore them. I think they’re both drawn to the other’s violent streak, and they do genuinely find military strategy talk very very sexy. Weirdos (affectionate). Whenever I write one of these conversations between them, I have to be sure never to suggest that, for example, Fingon’s hotness distracts Maedhros from the military talk – the military talk is itself hot to Maedhros (and vice versa). I find them so funny and so tragic ok.

[shikai-the-storyteller]

KARMALAND REVOLUTION FINALE

Luzu: The first snow of the season comes with Karmaland first civil war. All the members at war and only one winner. Fire is calming me. Makes me feel things are simpler. Everything could've been simpler. What could have happened if we just spoke, if I just told Quackity why I did what I did, if Quackity wouldn't have done everything he did? I guess we'll never know. We only have what we have today. I can only defend me and my people today. Oh this writing is so beautiful but so tragic. What could’ve been... what was meant to be...

Luzu: I’m here Vegetta: Hold on a moment, I’m with Rubius :) Luzu: You’re WHAT

I’m watching Luzu’s POV did Rubius actually convince Vegetta to join him???

Rubius: This is shameful, smells like treason! Vegetta: You’re one to talk, you STOLE MY BRIDE

LMAO Alexby camouflaged lmfao. I adore Alexby

UHHHHH WHY IS STAXX RED. IS THIS THE STAXX FROM THE OTHER DIMENSION???

Wait is Staxx pretending to be on their side?? Does Luzu not know???

Staxx: I was told you are gonna have a good time and y'all will get me weapons. Vegetta told me they told me lies about you, Luzu. That you're oppressive, you kill them without warnings... STAXX. YOU”RE GONNA GET VEGETTA KILLED

Ahh Luzu’s telling them what happened to his daughter and showing them the heads Quackity left

I’m glad Staxx logged in for this event

Rubius just said he has a nuclear TNT, he says that if something bad happens they will blow it up and goodbye karmaland 5 RUBIUS DON”T YOU FRICKIN DSMP US, I”LL BE SO MAD

that would be a bit funny though since he just blew up the server on Saturday LMAO

OH STAXX ADMITTED HE AND ALEXBY FREED THE ANIMALS uh oh

FRICK QUACKITY LIVE

“Today, Luzu dies or I die” NOOOO

LMAO Rubius and Alexby eavesdropping

UH OH. THE LIGHTNING AND THUNDER... the gods are waiting to see how this ends

Luzu and the rest of the members: *screams of war as they fight* Quackity rn: *talking about yesterday’s Streamies*

QUACKITY FORGOT TO CHANGE HIS SKIN LMAO

What do you mean you haven’t eaten breakfast yet Quackity!!!!! (*is a hypocrite because I also haven’t eaten yet*)

Quackity really roll straight out of bed and hit stream, big mood

Quackity: I’m gonna text my mom, to ask her if we can eat some enchiladads. Awh..... that’s really sweet. I love Quackity’s mom :(

Awww Quackity’s talking about the skin maker who’s been doing all his skins :’)

Quackity didn’t want the one without a shirt ABSOLUTELY valid

WAIT NO HIS SKIN HAS BLACK CLOTHES, PLEASE DONT TELL ME THOSE ARE YOUR FUNERAL CLOTHES

Not Staxx asking for flashbang bombs because they’re what Titi loved best 😭😭 😭😭 

QUACKITY LITERALLY ALL THE OTHER BOYS ARE FIGHTING WHILE YOU”RE DOING THIS

wait I looked away for TWO SECONDS WHY IS LUZU SHOOTING AT SAPO PETA

Vegetta, talkinga bout the revolution: A cop that isn't a cop, a mayor that never was, and... Alexby. FRICKIN RUDE

Luzu: Wait, the fight can't be in town. No more innocent people can die, let's go to the esplanade. Well thank goodness for that

Luzu: Don't shoot first. If there's violence, it has to come from the revolution first. As always. QUACKITY DONT SHOOT AND MAYBE WE CAN TALK THIS OUT ok I say that but I don’t trust Rubius or Alexby’s trigger finger

Sapo Peta refused to choose a side and he logged out of Karmaland :((((((

Sapo Peta: I’ll come back when you decide to stop destroying each other sobs

Quackity: *is late* Luzu: A man late to the fight is a man with fear. LMFAO GETTEM

Not Rubius sending kisses in the chat

Luzu shaking Vegetta like “PULL YOURSELF TOGETHER, REMEMBER THIS MAN JUST RUINED YOUR WEDDING” and Vegetta’s like “But Luzuuuu :((((”

LMAO Quackity just said love to Rubius but Rubius didn’t understand what he was saying LMFAO.... EMBARRASSING

OH FINALLY THEY”RE ALL TOGETHER I can finally mute one stream

I’m watching Luzu and Quackity ahhHHHH

:(((

LMAO he revealed the Christiano Ronaldo ruse from yesterday pftt

HUH WHY DID EVERYONE’S SCREENS GO DARK

oh LMFAO THEYRE DOING THE CIVIL WAR POV SHOT

I love that Quackity downloaded a mod to make it more dark and spooky

wait

HUH

ALIENS????? TITI’S DAD????

ARE THEY GONNA HAVE TO STOP THE WAR TO UNITE AGAINST ALIENS??? HELL YEAH

Ok here I was thinking they’d have to unite to fight against the gods but THIS IS JUST AS GOOD

SAPO PETA IS BACK

Alexby: They are rubius brothers, they are ugly as him THESE GUYS ARE SO MEAN TO EACH OTHER LMFAO

QUACKITY PLEASE IM BEGGING YOU, YOU AND LUZU HAVE TO UNITE TO FIGHT TOGETHER

Vegetta: Alien attack thumbnail! :D VEGETTA NOW IS NOT THE TIME LMFAO

Quackity: What have you done, Luzu! Luzu: This wasn't me! It's from outside town! Can't we stop fighting for a second?!?! LMFAO QUACKITY IM BEGGING YOU

Quackity: After im done with this, you are gonna be the next one, Luzu. QUACKITY NO.... well you can’t say he doesn’t keep his eye on the prize

OH.... THE IRONY....

Quackity was being attacked by an alien and Luzu rushed to protect him :((( Some things never change

I love how Quackity’s shaders add to the atmospheric-ness of the moment

Meanwhile Rubius and Vegetta are watching each other’s backs to make sure they’re safe wahHHH

Sapo Peta???

PLEASE don’t let Sapo Peta die today

Rubius: Help! Vegetta: I’ll save you even if I don’t like you Rubius: Careful, behind you! Don’t touch Vegetta, you bastard!

QUACKITY STOP BLAMING LUZU FOR TWO SECONDS AND LISTEN PLEASE!!!

STAXX KEEPS FLASHBANGING EVERYONE LMAO

Oh they’re gonna team up against the aliens and fight on Wednesday??? WELP. AT LEAST IT WONT BE WHILE IM AT WORK TOMORROW

Luzu: I compromised with Quackity to join forces one day and fight for the people. Quackity, are u free on Wednesday? LMFAO that’s so frickin cute it’s like they’re planning a date. Imagine aliens are raining down fire and Luzu’s like “So uh. You can’t do today or tomorrow, how about Wednesday?”

Vegetta: It’s a date it’s a date!!! LMFAO OK SO I WASN”T THE ONLY ONE WHO THOUGHT THAT, ALRIGHT.

Everyone: FOR KARMALAND!!!! SOBS

Staxx: AND HERE’S ONE MORE FLASHBANG! :D PFTTT

WAIT WHAT ABOUT WILLY

Luzu: Quackity... Quackity: I don’t want to talk to you ahhh the way they stopped to look at each other :(((

Sapo Peta said they have to revive Titi to get his help to make a spaceship MAN. IS THAT THE ONLY WAY POOR TITI IS GETTING REVIVED LMAO

OHHH THEYRE GONNA GO TO ANOTHER PLANET, COOL

WAIT WHY ARE THEY GOING TO THE END TO KILL THE DRAGON

Luzu’s getting hit with such bad lag they suggested he go rest and Quackity was like “Rest? You’re such an old man” LMAO

Sapo Peta suggesting a party at Vegetta’s house PFTT. IT”S A TRADITION, I KNOW, BUT

Quackity: If Luzu doesn’t leave the mayor’s office after all this is over, I’ll kill him

NOOOO poor Luzu his lag is so bad :((( At least Alexby is hanging out with him

AWH... LUZU REUNITED ALEXBY WITH HIS HARAMBEE MONKEY.... :’) He’s still good in his heart of hearts

I flip from that wholesome scene to Vegetta and Rubius fighting about cats like an old married couple

Quackity is essentially just shoving his camera in Rubius and Vegetta’s faces rn LMAO

Luzu: I was taking care of him here. Alexby: I'll forgive you for everything! AWH... FRIENDSHIP WINS

Luzu’s having a heavy lore moment rn by himself meanwhile Quackity is chasing Rubius and Vegetta around listening to them fight with a giant grin on his face

Luzu: We won't do it for ego, or pride, or to show off. We'll do it for Karmaland! It's always for Karmaland. I love him so much

AHHHH Luzu looks so beautiful with the snow behind him like that

Awh Luzu did a great job

MEANWHILE QUACKITY....

Quackity: Any conversation between you two (Rubius and Vegetta) looks like a reality show, you guys get so frickin angry LMAO

Vegetta: It’s his fault! He’s the one who’s fighting! Rubius: Me? You’re the one crying. Mua mua mua

OH They’re fighting because Rubius wants to go to the end and Vegetta says they should do it when they’re all together I AGREE WITH VEGETTA

IT REALLY DOES

SAPO PETA PULLED A FRICKIN ROCKET LAUNCHER ON THEM LMFAO, HE’S SO SICK OF THEM FIGHTING

Now LMFAO WAIT HOLD ON

hang on I’m clipping that

Rubius, chasing Vegetta and asking for a kiss Vegetta, spitting on him Quackity, pulling up their ages:

QUACKITY CAN”T DO MATH

Rubius: You don’t have a son! Vegetta: But I have my cats! >:( Quackity: Your guys’ ages combined are 65, just thought I’d let you know Quackity is SUCH a bastard, I love him so much

I love that Rubius and Vegetta will be yelling at each other at the top of their lungs then Rubius will give him a kiss and apologize. Lord. k!Rubegetta are so sweet....30 years married couple

NOT QUACKITY ASKING VEGETTA HOW TO FIND MODS AFTER BEING IN KARMALAND FOR 6 MONTHS.... BOY....

Awh Rubius told Quackity he was very handsome yesterday HE”S RIGHT

Quackity: Why would you make me have to team with Luzu to defeat this enemy? You know I hate him! Sapo Peta: ... just listen for a moment Oh???

HUH

THAT CAN”T ACTUALLY BE A GIFT FROM LUZU CAN IT???

Luzu destroyed his house and Sapo Peta just gave him a house he said was from Luzu. Is it really though??? Or is this Sapo Peta trying to smooth things over between Quackity and Luzu?

Quackity’s first instinct is to look for cameras because he doesn’t trust Luzu :(((

Quackity complaining about the house when Quackity’s own house that he built didn’t have a roof for MONTHS

Quackity: Trust Luzu? You want me to trust Luzu!? Sapo Peta, I'll tell you the truth: right now, I've made a temporary alliance just for Karmaland's sake, but when this is through, I'm going to put a bullet through Luzu's head. AGH... But yeah. Quackity’s not one to forgive and forget, no matter what happened

Quackity: I am bad because of the effects of my action, but I have never hurt anyone. It is always because they have forced me. They see my stupid face and I have to defend myself :((((((((( I want to hug him so tightly

Sapo Peta: That’s the talk of a terrorist That’s fair

Only one braincell between Rubius and Quackity, I swear

WHY ARE THEY MINING OIL ON QUACKITY”S OLD HOUSE

Girl the next Karmaland war is going to be about oil, I swear

MAN. MANNNNN IM SO GLAD IT DIDNT END IN BLOODSHED this is the best outcome I could’ve hoped for. This feels more in-line with Karmaland’s theme

This gives them time to heal and possibly reconcile, or at least, for tensions to lessen. I think Luzu will wind up forgiving him, but Quackity can’t. Either that, or Luzu will sacrifice himself to protect everyone else (which would suck and be a bad ending, but it seems likely too). Can’t wait to see what happens on Wednesday!

[otome-mondays]

Sympathy Kiss First Impressions

Welcome to the third first impressions post! I tried to play this game simultaneously with the r/otomegames subreddit’s play along, but work got really busy for me. If you’d like to see my more in depth thoughts on my first impressions, please go check out the subreddit. I’m u/otome-mondays. Also, please look up trigger warnings for any potentially triggering content! As usual, this post is all over the place, contains spoilers, and is not overly formatted/proofread/etc.

I started playing this game on February 26, 2024 when the game’s English localization was released. I stopped this post at the end of the common route. For this post, my most anticipated route will be marked with ✨ and least with 💥.

General Thoughts

I’m not a fan of having an eyeless MC, but that’s never stopped me from playing an otome before. It’s just a little…off…to me. I really like Oe so far, she’s my favorite at the moment. I don’t like how quiet the main character is? Even when she’s supposed to be interacting with the characters, we don’t get much on actual spoken dialogue. Also she doesn’t have a name tag so I’m prone to forgetting her name way more than I should. Me being me, I constantly have to point out any connections I see. In this game they use the messaging app RiNG, which is also used in the Lover Pretend universe…I’m connecting these two as in the same universe thank you very much. Why are the girls in this game so stunning, it’s basically unfair they don’t have routes. That would be an interesting thing for Otomate to do, doubt they would, but I’d be all for it. It’s nice that we have an MC who isn’t a teenager, I feel like most otomes I’ve played lately have 16-18 year old protags.

Mitsuki

Wasn’t expecting his voice to be what it is, but it does fit I think. This tells me I need to actually look at the voice actors more often lol. He’s kinda annoying. He’s definitely a genki archetype, which I usually don’t gravitate towards. He’s at least comedic enough that I can start to enjoy him as a character.

Kohei

Well isn’t he a ball of rainbows and sunshine! I really hope I don’t end up mostly annoyed by most these characters but so far we’re 3/6 on the I’ve decided they’re annoying to some extent. Oh my god he’s so annoying. It’s like he’s a middle schooler who made not liking people their one personality trait. I’m begging this game to have pulled a Zafora-style tsundere with him at least because then I’ll at least enjoy his route.

Yoji

Oh my god he’s annoying. It was nice of him to buy her juice but wow I already hate him lol. Greatttt he’s gonna be her boss. Can’t wait to deal with his crap he’ll inevitably bring. His voice sounds familiar…is he voiced by the same guy who voiced Tsukuyomi from Olympia and Ankou from Virche? …oh my god he is ok maybe I can end up liking him. I’m going to take this time an actually look at the actors for the LIs. I’m really trying but I CANNOT stop hearing Ankou and thinking Ankou is here I’m so sorry Yoji. He’s actually growing on me.

Rokuro ✨

He seems way nicer AND not annoying compared to most the others I’ve seen so far! I also do recognize that his actor voiced Hugo from Virche, so bonus points there. Ok yeah definitely a pretty interesting character. He seems very nice so I’m excited for his route!

Nori

Oh no everybody it’s a pretty boy with piercings…and is that a tattoo? Well I have a good idea of who my fav might potentially be. Oh my god he’s adorable. I am in love with his design. He seems very nice! This is one of the weirdest and most irrelevant things for me to point out, but I think it’s kinda funny he has a beauty mark in the same general area that my own is in lol. He’s got the bare necessities of social interaction and I love him for that. Ngl, I am concerned for this dude. Ok…yeah now I’m getting some slight red flags lol.

Shuya 💥

He’s interesting enough, I currently can’t really see him in a “oh yeah that’s definitely a love interest” so we’ll see if that changes. He feels more like a side character I enjoy type of character. I can already understand the appeal to Shuya as a LI even though I know like 2 things about him, but he’s not typically the type of character I go for as far as I’m aware.

Warning: Theories on secret routes

So I’m trying to go in blind for the most part on who the secret characters are, but it’s obvious one is gonna be that one brunette guy the works in the same company as Rokuro (wow my remembering names is not working tonight) and I’m like 80% sure on the other one being YOFY? I’m not gonna go out of my way and confirm this so for those who have finished the game by the time this post goes up or are aware, be aware of that lol. Also, I’m assuming this post will be up after I discover who the secret routes are, but please refrain from telling me until you see that the game has left my currently playing or if you see me talk about it on reddit :)

[taxfraudhousewife]

guys my autistic ass made a post asking pro lifers why they’re pro life and now i regret it cos i can’t look at my notifications cos they piss me the fuck off lmao i’m too pussy to delete the post cos i want it for autism purposes but still i’m gonna complain about their opinions even tho IM the one who ASKED for their opinions even tho I GAVE SOMEONE SHIT for being mean to the pro lifers in the comments IM SORRY OK

like idk wtf i thought i was getting into asking pro lifers on the internet i was literally asking for it and in this instance it is ok to victim blame cos im the victim of my own autism and this is literally my fault

idk sometimes i start to think that pro lifers only exist in the US and like poland cos i never hear express pro life sentiments irl BECAUSE I TALK TO NORMAL FUCKIN PEOPLE and the few ppl i do know who say they’re pro life are actually pro choice but in like a ✨catholic✨way

i cannot shut the fuck up about this but like in my personal opinion if u live in america and are pro life u gotta get ur shit sorted out cos ur opinions r genuinely dangerous for women in that country like u can be pro life when access to abortion is unrestricted that’s fine but don’t go ruining shit for everybody just cos you don’t have common sense

like idc if ur canadian and pro life cos i rly don’t think in my lifetime we’ll lose any abortion rights so u can go off and spread ur weird ideology ur very much a non threat so i accept ur freedom of speech or whatever

also like i went to catholic school (shocker it turned me into a gay anarcho socialist pro choice atheist) and like there was a pro life club obviously and oh my god maybe i’m just triggered as fuck bc of my pro life club trauma (if u had a pro life club at school u know it’s literally trauma)

also this rant happened bc one of the ppl on my post used the word “scientifical” and im sorry but if u say the word scientifical when talking about literal human rights idk honestly ur probably a lot happier and have a more fulfilling life than me if u don’t think too hard about this so like good for u and im jealous

also like i know i never specifically said i only want woman opinions on the post (cos men opinions are what fucked us over in the first place and therefore are important to understand) but the AMOUNT OF MEN IS INSANE TO ME like i think in general abortion conversations im used to men allowing women to have more influence in the conversation because it’s literally about women BUT THE AMOUNT OF MEN TALKING ALL THIS SHIT IS SO CRAZY YO ME WE WOULDNT NEED ABORTIONS IF U COULD TAME UR SKIN SNAKE YOU ABSOLUTE FREAK GET OUT

anyway i think that’s funny

[marcusbrutus]

Ok so I think I might have moral scrupulosity, and not in the “uwu self diagnose lemme add this to my list of identities” way but in the “I think everything else I’ve been diagnosed with is a mistake and this is the real root of all my issues” way

I listened to a podcast yesterday by a pastor describing it and how religious people can cope, and while I’m not really religious anymore I still felt a lot of the same things he was describing. Fear of uncertainty, fear of where you stand with god. I always joke that I must have been saved/rededicated my life to Christ at least 7 times as a kid because I was afraid the the last few times didn’t count. I was also extremely afraid of being Left Behind when the rapture happened. I think I was more afraid of that then hell. And I suffered (and still do) with intrusive thoughts, and these would occur when I was praying. So I’d have to pray over again and apologize for the thoughts and it was essentially an endless cycle.

Well anyway, now that I’m NOT religious anymore, this fear of uncertainty and fear of where I stand has taken the form of being unsure if I’m good at my job, specifically constantly asking for confirmation that I’m doing things right. I need very clear instructions with no room for interpretation.

But it’s also taken the form of being terrified of where I stand morally, specifically on social media. There’s this one issue that particularly triggers me but I can’t talk about it and I’ll explain why: the internet (this website in particular) has gotten too extreme. Even typing this gives me anxiety. But I’ll see someone get cancelled for things that I agree with. And I know that’s kind of a funny meme but for me it’s not funny. It’s terrifying. It’s especially terrifying because if I say that I agree I’m afraid I’ll lose friends.

There’s this one particular issue that triggers me to no end, and I absolutely cannot escape it. I refer to it as [redacted] because I fear if I say my concerns out loud I will be labeled as a bad person and that will be the end of me. I’ve only told one friend about it and even then it was hard to get the words out because I was so afraid.

And it’s EVERYWHERE. It’s something I can’t escape. I wish I could stop thinking about it but it’s literally everywhere online and as soon as I get peace of mind and it’s out of my head, BAM, I see it again and it leads to a thought spiral. “Just block the tag” I have, but this is literally the [redacted] website so at this point half my dash is blank and it’s so prevalent that posts still leak through the filter.

Now Instagram isn’t even safe with their insufferable Threads feature that I can’t turn off. It’s like they’re specifically targeting me with stuff related to [redacted] to try and get a rise out of me. It’s even everywhere on YouTube. I’ll be watching a video about something unrelated then the YouTuber will mention [redacted] and it’s all over for me.

I spend all day thinking about this issue. It is eating me from the inside. I can’t ignore it because it’s everywhere. I can’t talk to my friends about it for fear of being labeled a bad person. Literally what am I even supposed to do. I argue with people about it in my head all day. I want it to stop.

Anyway all this to say the internet isn’t fun anymore and the fact that you all will label anyone with a differing opinion, even an extremely milktoast opinion everyone would have agreed with 10 years ago, as a bad person who you shouldn’t associate with has made my mental state a living hell

[unsleepingtales]

Ravening war finale!!!! Reactions!!! this is so long guys and a lot of it is just me making terrified noises.

Oh my god that eraser would have SUCH a bad mouth feel I feel bad just watching that

Aabria’s hair and makeup look lovely!

Brennan’s immediately in character (looking into the middle distance in abject horror)

Dome looks great!

That’s a really smart cover story actually

Battle map! Battle map!

OH it’s so gorgeous

I love that you can see the icons on the gm screen behind the set, like they’re looking over the battle and observing

The fact that Colin’s art has a receding hairline and that is just Not the case on his mini is so funny to me

Matt automatically doing the Italian hands as Ariana

Oh would you say that things are busy?

OOF

THIS is what Lou screams you lied about??? Like on the one hand I’m glad it’s this and not something worse, but also. Eek.

The Elder’s mini is so cool and detailed aaaaa

Two of the threeeeee

Brennan and Anjali exchanging glances like a theory is being confirmed! Is it the same theory that we’ve been talking about online?

This is your big moment? Kinda sad ngl

Dark blessing energy! We barbin!

Matt’s right tho y’all are burning your spell slots Fast

It’s not the blender, it’s the disposal.

Oh that’s so coooooool

That was such a cool thing to say

One more thing that has not chosen me 😭

Oh she’s his daughter

Ok so Raphaniel poisoning the king is confirmed

I love when GMs play and are still who they are and bring all of who they are as GMs to being a player

Oh god

Oh god oh fuck

YEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAH BOIIIIIIII

Hell yeah Raphaniel fuck em up

By ‘em’ I meant colliflour not the saprophians :(

I get that they’re not great but like. Civilians.

Colin! My boy!

Do the people in charge of these mini company shots have fun with them. I hope they have fun with them. I hope they feel like they’re playing with dolls.

GIRL WHAT

GIRL WHATTTTTT

Oh that mini is so fucking sick

Holy SHIT

Stick a fork in her please

DISPOSALS IN THE FLOOR????

Karna you better be fucking careful I stg if you get more nat1 acrobatics I’m gonna lose it

TWENTY EIGHT POINTS

H o r r i f y i n g

Oh that’s so bad oh my god

Ooh Karna’s mini is pretty

Fuck her upppp

Hell yeah bb get her ass

Does she bleed machine oil now

Forty points of religious retribution and eight points of petty. All part of a balanced meal.

They really did hear Matt call it the avatar once and decided that was it

It’s just a complicated situation

Pull Of The Void Teeth?????? Hello????

I have no context!!!!

You saved his life!

I feel like Brennan and Aabria’s GM tendencies are popping out in this ep and I really appreciate it

Amangeaux fully having a crisis me too honey

Hey 20 damage is not bad!

Come on provolone!! Be ok please!!

Just noticed that the elder has a bunch of heads on his belt and I feel. Fine about it.

STUNNED?

Oh god

This is so distressing

Enough to put it out of its misery?

Oh does being killed finish its go?? Does it???

Oh GOD it can MOVE them

Alien and cruel because it is machine and unfeeling rather than consuming for sustenance

Better that a soul should feed someone than be thrown away!

This is the third thing, not deus pa’zuul

🎶 looks like we maaade it 🎶

For ONCE lair actions are gonna help the party

She’s his daughter

Anjali and Zac are turning out to be one of my favorite duos

Colin :( please be ok :(

Colin yelling to deli I’m gonna cry actually?

Oh she’s so devoted to him

Let’s hear it for helpful lair actions everyone

DOME

It is, in fact, bad here!

Rip quichei

Karnaaaaa

His bardic can be used as damage?? That’s sick ngl that’s really cool

KARNA NO

THIRTY FIVE POINTS

Numb with ominous, ever present pain

Please tell me Deli does SOMETHING

Ok that’s good yeah that’s pretty good

YEAH

Love seeing everyone hyping Lou up

He’s her father

Thank you pro bonos!

I hope you die UN HOT

Why would you do this Matt

Oh that’s really cool I’m really impressed with that idea he was actually able to trigger a lair action that’s neat

Good turn Raphaniel!

Colinnnn

There’s a lot going on.

Healing? Healing lair action?

THIRTY EIGHT POINTS

Karna full dead?? Karna full dead forever?? Oh my god

Oh god oh no please

IT BE THAT WAY SOMETIMES???

Oh I might actually cry

MURKED

Oh I just noticed that the dome is animated and not static. That’s neat.

IMMUNE TO CRITS?

Oh no

Ok. Okokok.

She was her family

I’m so glad I’m not the only one struggling to process that Karna is gone

Holy fucking shit man

Wait does Raphaniel know that Karna is gone. Like can he feel it through the telepathy. He was so prepared to not make it but I do not think he was prepared for her to not make it.

Oh never mind ok he’s also not gonna make it

Lou <3

Raphaniel full dead. Yep. Ok.

Horrifying. Great speech! But horrifying.

The closest he has ever been to anything that matters

Me too Zac. Me too. I also want to just scream.

Oh this is good story though

Oh my god

Colin is Skald but she’s Karna I’m gonna CRY

COME ON PROVOLONE

SET THEM ALL ON FIRE YEAH

She’s lost her family oh my god

Framing the mycelium as a child is heartbreaking actually

Are they about to be killed

Can you keep a secret oh my god

Amangeaux’s protectiveness as her greatest strength and of course her complete downfall

Oh god

Oh my god

They’re curious Augh

Deli no oh god

OH MY GOD the cheese man

NO

NAT ONE????

Oh he’s so close to death

Oh my god

This is gonna be the death of me

Oh my god the baby little saprophian

Oh my god if this kills him

OH MY GOD

They don’t have healing. None of them have healing.

Okay she has a hearts kit

Oh thank god okay

Okay okay okay

Oh god okay.

He really

Ok

Oh my god that letter. Yup. Actually crying a bit.

Oh

Love you too Matt <3 thank you for an incredible season.

[self-loathing-angel-of-thursday2]

Beautiful Spouse Rewatch Thoughts SPN 06x02

Two and a Half Men

“Ooo spicy” “That’s a lot of Sriracha” “the fuck” “It’s never going to work - babies cry” “She’s holding her own mouth? That’s kinda weird” “That kid is fucked” “This season is icy. Ice cold vibe to it” “Why are they moving?” “Oh they moved in” “His badge is crooked” “What’s an Everything pizza?” “Did he actually forget?” “I don’t remember Grampa coming back from the dead” “Gotta teach him trigger discipline there Dean” “Is Sam in the Black Charger? Doesn’t he drive a silver charger at another time?” “It would be funny if Dean could do a Steve Irwin act with the ball cap and gator wrestling” “This one is possessed” In an Australian accent

“Jesus Christ. Hes dead” “She’s also dead” “this looks like bobby’s house” “Like the closet at the end of the hallway looks the same from when they were hiding from the zombies that one time” “I mean they have to reuse sets right? I’ve seen similarities over the seasons. I wonder if they reused the set, because it’s a neat looking house” “Is it Castiel news? Maybe?” “Idk who Gutenberg is” “Who’s the baby?” “Either she’s really sarcastic or he’s a huge dick. I think she’s sarcastic” “It’s the same road as Old Guy gets shot on. This is the road with Yellow Eyes” “Maybe not, but I’m pretty convinced” “Who the fuck is the kid?” “Dean’s talking about diapers” “what the fuck” “I still don’t know what’s up with the baby” “I’m not trying to be oblivious” “Oh he dead” Do you remember what that goo is? “Shapeshifter” “Are you going to be a man about it huh?” “This decor is peak supernatural” “Did he just give the baby some alcohol? Jesus Christ” “So that’s a shapeshifter baby?” “Idk what’s happening” “Thats a lot of poop” “I shouldn’t laugh, but that’s a baby covered in cake and applesauce” “There goes the baby’s ears too, but it’s a shapeshifter baby so idk” “This looks like some sort of vampire hideout or some shit” “If they were actually family, I feel like we’d see more about their backstory, but I’m still confused about their storyline. I guess we’ll find out later” “good line” “This is the longest that some characters were brought on the show to just die - 2 or 3 episodes. Thats a lot” “Bobby Jon Benet Ramsey” “Thats convenient” “That was a lot of grunting” “wait” “You can kill god but you can’t kill a shapeshifter” “Isn’t this soulless Sam? Or they’re starting to hint at this?” “Animated gif wrap” Spouse started laughing during Dean’s serious man talk

“Ok. Long pause. Serious music. She asks what. And it takes so long…so long. Then he turns around and starts singing Fergalicious” “So are they long distance when he’s on another planet or some shit?” “He only had a year off, and he’s doing the midlife crises car dramatics” “Daddy’s going for a drive”

[ivyyreid]

pain: gone, gone

description: reader escapes from abductor.

category: fluff

warnings: mention of wounds, blood, and sexual assault

masterlist

the cold breeze blows your already tangled hair. your vision blurs at the edges, and your long t-shirt provides little warmth.

you have been running for what feels like years. you know you lost him, but you have to keep going.

you have no idea where you are. the only visual recognition you have of the small, quiet town is a starbucks. but it’s closed, like everything else. and even if it was open, you wouldn’t be allowed to go in looking the way you do.

you wear nothing but your underclothes and a long t-shirt. your hair is a knotted mess, and your eyes are wild and large. cuts and bruises decorate you’re body, and blood covers any exposed skin. the only place where the blood isn’t present are your cheeks, where tears pushed the blood away.

you have no idea what time it is, only the understanding that it’s late. the sky’s dark, and everything’s closed. if you’re vision and head would stop spinning, you would have been able to guess that it was about 3am, based on the position of the moon in the sky.

your breath is ragged as you search for an open shop, anywhere to get help.

the night and fog seems to swallow you. you don’t have time to wait around for morning. you are about to give up, curl into a ball and wish for death because you should have died weeks ago, but then you see a red beacon of hope.

a telephone booth.

seven weeks and seven hours earlier.

the moonlight casts an eerie glow on the corn maze. you hold your gun out in front of you, your flashlight under it. 

your breath creates small clouds, and the stalks of corn rustle as you prowl through them.

the unsub abducts women in their twenties, sexually abuses them, and tortures them in a variety of ways, all over a span of one to two weeks. and you and the team have tracked him to this small farmhouse. it’s not where he performs the murders, but it’s where he resides.

you lost spencer a few minutes when he took a different turn, but you’re confident in your ability to take down the unsub alone.

a rustling in the distance catches your attention. your body tenses, and you slowly and silently follow the sound. you hold your flashlight out, keeping your hand steady as you turn a corner, two fingers on the trigger of the gun.

but in the next few seconds, your gun will do you no good.

because as you turn the corner, your head collides with cold metal. and you collapse.

present day.

your shakily dial the number etched into your brain. it takes a few tries, because your hands are wobbly and stiff, but the phone eventually begins to ring.

and it rings.

and rings.

and then stops.

“hello, this is penelope garcia, technical analyst for the behavioral analysis unit of the fbi, how can i assist you?”

and the familiar voice clogs your throat. a tear spills from your eyes.

“hello, how can i assist you”

and for the first time in weeks your lips part and almost form a smile.

“hello, is anyone there?”

and you try and control your breathing, try and talk.

“p-p-penel...penelope.” you breathe, your voice hoarse and scratchy from the weeks of silence, and little water.

“oh my god! oh my god! y/n!” she gasps, and you can hear her voice break. but you know she’s happy.

“penel- penelope....please” you choke out, collapsing against the wall of the booth due to exhaustion.

“hold on y/n, i’m locating you.” you hear frantic typing, and penelope speaks again. “we were so worried, we thought you were... we’ve been trying to find you, i can’t believe it’s you!”

they thought i was dead. and the funny thing is, you think you were too. you felt dead. after weeks of laying in a small cell, being repeatedly violated and tortured, you started to feel dead.

“ok y/n, i have your location. we’ll be there as soon as we can. i’m going to hang up now, please be safe”

two-thousand, five-hundred eighty-five miles away.

the team, minus you, sits in the briefing room. sloppy outfits, eye bags, and a hopeless expression is one thing they all share. the common denominator.

everyone has dressed in dark tones, even garcia, like you’re already dead, and they’re attending one big, long funeral.

at first, garcia tried to keep up her usual quirky, colorful outfits, but after two weeks, it started to become hard.

in the past seven weeks, most of the teams time has been spent in the briefing room, looking over files and trying to find leads. the case was closed after a month of silence from the unsub, but the team is still desperately trying to find you.

emily is about to share an idea about where you could be (that is rather far-fetched) but garcia swiftly enters the room.

everyone knows what the wide smile on her face means.

back to y/n.

you’ve been on the phone with garcia for an hour. she says the team is coming. she says you’re in gabbs, nevada.

now she says they’ll be within 200 yards of you in 5 minutes.

the breath leaves your body.

seven weeks. seven weeks with seeing no one but your abuser.

and now your team is coming. your friends are coming to save you.

a few tears slip out of your eyes, and you look at the sky as a joyful sob leaves your body.

“you’re going to be ok, y/n” penelope says.

the sound of speeding vehicles fills your ears. the quiet that you’ve grown accustomed to is gone, replaced with the sounds of your saviors.

you drop the phone, leaving it dangling from the cord, and rush out of the telephone booth into the street. about two-hundred yards away, you see a black suv pull over, and a group of people get out.

your friends.

“i’m here....help!” you try to yell, but it comes out hoarsely, and quiet.

they don’t see you.

but then, someone turns.

a tall, skinny figure. with a mess of brown hair.

and he stands there, shocked.

you run toward him, limping slightly.

“spencer,” you cry, and he runs toward you.

you crash into him, and he pulls you into a hug, kissing your forehead. he’s calling the team on his radio, and he’s crying, and he’s blaming himself, and your tears are mixing, but you don’t feel dead anymore. you’re going to be ok.

you and spencer are silent. just embracing each other, and crying.

the rest of the team comes, followed by an ambulance. emily’s and jj’s and derek’s and hotch’s and rossi’s voices all mix, but the only voice you notice is spencer.

“i thought i lost you,” he says, resting his head on mine. i shake my head feebly, my tears blurring my vision.

“i love you,” he whispers into my head, and i feel my heart stop.

he loves me. and i love him.

he

loves 

me

loves 

him

“i love you too.”

[rebeccccccaaa]

🄰🄳🄳🄸🄲🅃🄴🄳

_______________________

🄱🅄🄲🄺🅈 🄱🄰🅁🄽🄴🅂 🅇 🅁🄴🄰🄳🄴🅁

🅁🄴🅀🅄🄴🅂🅃: (ANON) hi! can you do a bucky x reader where they’re at a gala and the team has a mini after party (like AoU) and they’re playing cards against humanity or something dumb like that and bucky can’t keep his hands off of Y/n? maybe a lil smut if you’re up for it hehe. you’re the best !

🅆🄰🅁🄽🄸🄽🄶🅂: Smut 18+ (duh lol), Bathroom sex, horny Bucky, slight dacryphilia, Cw: light asphyxiation (in case anyone gets triggered here’s a small content warning) 

🄰🅄🅃🄷🄾🅁'🅂 🄽🄾🅃🄴: dude I looove this omgg thanks for the request babes ;)

_______________________

“Alright, alright! Settle down, guys,” Nat shouted over the laughter.

“Ok next card. ‘Blank’: kid-tested, mother-approved,” she read off a black card.

“Which one, babe?” You and Bucky were a team; you sat on his lap insisted by the man himself.

“That one,” he pointed to the card you also had your eye on. You placed in the pile face down and waited for the other who snickered and giggled under their breaths believing they had the funniest card.

“Ok ready?”

“Whoo!” everyone cheered.

“Ok, we have Dead parents: kid-tested, mother-approved; oh my god,” Nat laughed, as did others.

“This groovy new thing called LSD: kid-tested, mother-approved,” everyone laughed out loud with that one.

“A snapping turtle biting the tip of your penis: kid-tested, mother-approved!” 

“Water: kid-tested, mother-approved.” 

“That one’s boring!” Sam shouted.

“Hey, be nice; that might be Steve’s. He still doesn’t understand the game,” you joked, making Steve rolling his eyes; it was in fact his card.

“And lastly, My inner demons: kid-tested, mother-approved, I just know this one’s Tony’s,” Nat read off the last card, making Tony get really defensive because it was his. 

“Hmm, this is a good one,” she thought. 

“I think I’m gonna go with the LSD,” Nat said, making you and Bucky cheer.

“Awe man, you guys are good,” Sam threw his cards. 

“Alright! I’m dealing now,” you said grabbing the deck of white cards. While you distributed the white cards again to the rest of the players, Bucky couldn’t keep his hands off you. Having you sit on his lap let him get away with a lot of things you two should be doing in private.

Ever since you two had gotten together, he was absolutely addicted to you. He wasn’t a sex addict, especially before your relationship; he hardly ever gotten intamite before. But with you he needed you in some way almost everyday. he addicted to you.

When you two had sex for the first time, Bucky couldn’t stop cuddling you afterwards. You tried to shower and Bucky followed you in and washed your body for you. You went to put some clothes but he just pulled you in bed, kissing your neck with arms wrapped around you tightly. 

Since then he practically couldn’t keep his hands off you. This had been the most sexually active you’d ever been in a relationship. And you didn’t mind too much if you were being honest. He was insatiable and you were more than willing to feed his desperate appetite; it made you feel desired.

“Get a room you two,” Tony mocked.

“I would if my girl didn’t keep insisting on playing with you buffoons,” Bucky growled.

“Baby, be nice,” you warned. 

You pulled a black card and hesitantly everyone put a white card in a pile for you to read. These particular answers got really dark and really funny to the point where you were squirming in Bucky’s lap but he too was laughing so hard.

“Oh my god! You guys I have pee,” you squealed.

“I’m gonna run to the bathroom,” you jumped from Bucky’s lap.

You made your way to the guest bathroom since it was the closest. When you finished washing your hands but in between that you heard the door open ever so quietly, but your instincts alerted you. 

You turned to the small halfway that led into the stall and waited for what could possibly be Wanda or Nat. You waited longer than you’d accept and ultimately turned back the mirror immediately startled by a large figure standing beside you. 

“Bucky!” you shrieked.

“Sorry, doll,” he gave you a toothy grin. 

“What are you doing in the ladies’ room?” you turned to face him fully.

“Got a couple minutes? They won’t suspect a thing,” bucky leaned down to kiss your neck.

“Are you serious?” you laughed.

“Come on, baby. Please,” BUcky’s hips pressed into yours and you could feel his hard cock poking through his pants. 

“Bucky, you’re addicted.”

“With an ass like that, how can resist. You’re perfect,” Bucky said cheekily.

He held your jaw and kissed you quite messily, urgency not forgotten. Your hands snaked up to curl into his long beautiful locks. He spun you around and your hands hit the mirror in front of you. 

Your hips dug into the marble counter of the bathroom as Bucky’s hands trailed up and under your shirt; rubbing your bare skin. He quickly unzipped his pants pulling and stroking his cock.

“Can’t fucking stay away from you, babygirl,” Bucky moaned in your ear. 

He pulled your pants down along with your panties and used his metal fingers to rub against your pussy, moving around the wetness that is coming out of you quickly. 

“Bucky please,” you whined.

“What baby? What is it?” he cooed.

“Bucky, fuck me,” you whimpered, moving your hips back to grind against his cock.

“You got it, my love,” he whispered.

 Bucky thrusted hard into you making your body repel forward. You were sure there’d be bruises from the hard marble table digging into your hips. You looked in the mirror to see Bucky’s stern expression as he thrusted in and out of you relentlessly.

You tried to moan quietly but the pleasure building up inside was getting overwhelming. Bucky moved his arm to cover your mouth and pulled against his chest.

Your breathing became heavy, going in and out through your nose sharply trying to keep your moans muffled behind Bucky’s hand. Bucky kept his eye trained on you still bucking his hips repeatedly. 

“Fuck, doll. You always feel so warm wrapped around my cock. I can never get enough of this perfect little pussy; squeezing me all tight and shit, god, I’m gonna cum,” Bucky moaned.

With your mouth covered, all you could do was whimper and moan as best as you could. Your eyes filled with tears of pleasure and spilled down your face beautifully. Bucky almost came from the sight of you crying in pleasure alone; but he kept his composure, not for long of course.

“You gonna cum? I can feel you squeezing me,” Bucky slid his hand down your front to rub your clit and your entire body jerked against him, making Bucky chuckled mockingly. 

You orgasmed violently against Bucky and he too reached his climax biting your shoulder to muffle his own loud moans and grunts. You leaned forward to catch yourself after Bucky released his firm hold on you.

“Fuck that was hot. Seeing you cry like that. Did I hurt you?” Bucky asked gently, helping you clean up. 

“No that was awesome!” you giggled. 

“What if someone came in?” you said once you felt decent.

“Just adds to the fun,” Bucky smirked.

“You’re crazy,” you pushed him lightly. 

You two went back to the group hearing laughter from still playing the insanely hilarious card game.

“Finally you two! What’s the point in calling it a quickie if you guys are gonna take twenty minutes,” Nat mocked.

“Was it really that long?” you asked, shocked; no shame in trying to pretend like you both leaving after Bucky’s hands were all over was a ‘coincident’.

“Yeah kinda,” Tony spoke up.

“Damn, we’ll have to practice,” Bucky smacked your ass, making you roll your eyes.

“Damn, Buck you’re addicted to her,” Nat chuckled.

“Of course I am, look at her,” Bucky flaunted you, making you feel slightly shy under the attention. 

“Come on guys let’s keep playing!” Wanda shouted, clearly tipsy.

You sat down next to Nat and Bucky sat at your side still holding your waist lovingly.

“You know,” Nat whispered to you, “As much of a sex addict you turned him into, he’s so in love with you. Head over his fucking heels, babe.”

“I know, and I love him too,” you smiled looking at Bucky.

Taglist!

@mathletemadison

if you want to be added for all my upcoming works and series or just one specific person send me an ask!! or message me! 🥰

[ibis-gt]

ok ok i got the writing bug again. cam drives luther to the hospital to figure out why he's got Shrinks When Gay Disorder. 2k words.

~~~

“Well, Mr. Algers, from what I can tell you’ve got a very rare, very difficult autoimmune disease. We call it Gulliver’s Hanahaki.”

Luther sits glumly on the examining table, clad in a paper gown. He resists the urge to pick at the edges of it, instead keeping a tight grip on the table. Doctor’s offices always make him fidgety.

“Basically,” Dr. Townsend continues, “when your body encounters a specific form of stress, it will react in an attempt to defend itself, resulting in the reduction of size you’ve been experiencing.”

“So is there… any kind of cure?” Luther asks.

“Well, no. It’s not the kind of disease you cure.”

“Treatment of any kind? Pills I can take, shots, anything to stop it?” An edge of desperation creeps into his voice, the paper covering the table crinkling as his fingers dug into it.

“Nothing I can give you, I’m sorry to say,” Dr. Townsend sighs. “Unfortunately, its rarity means that it’s difficult to study. Any medication is still in the early trial stages and it wouldn’t be ethical for me to prescribe. There are two forms of preventative measures you can take to avoid further episodes, however.”

Luther straightens up from his slump. Thank god, something to get this nightmare to finally end!

“The first is very effective. Since the episodes are triggered by attraction to another individual and the anxiety resulting from that attraction, if you are able to avoid interactions with that individual altogether, no further anxiety will be triggered.”

Luther deflates, shoulders sagging. “That won’t work,” he mumbles. “We live in the same building.”

Dr. Townsend nods sympathetically. “I thought it might be something like that,” he sighs. “Your other option is to confess.”

Luther reels back like he’s been slapped. “Confess?”

“Yes. These episodes are made worse by bottling up your attraction or attempting to deny it. This causes the stress to compound and become more intense. If you admit your feelings to the individual you’re attracted to, then you will remove some of that stress and your episodes will be less frequent and less severe.”

“But- but that would only stress me out more!” Luther says, throwing his arms out to the sides. “I mean, I mean what if he says no? What if he says yes? What if he -”

Dr. Townsend puts a hand on Luther’s shoulder, cutting him off. His hand is… very large. Too large. Dr. Townsend and Luther are about the same height, after all, but his hand barely fits on Luther’s shoulder. Luther realizes suddenly that he’d been shrinking, and takes a deep breath. “Okay. Okay. I see your point. I just gotta tell him how I feel. Easy peasy.”

“Hm.” the doctor says. He lets his hand drop and a tinge of sympathy colors his serious expression. “Good luck, Luther. This is a very difficult disease to live with, even once you’ve mitigated your stress as much as possible. If there’s anything else I can do to support you, please let me know. Otherwise, our consultation is at an end for today. I’ll start reaching out and seeing what options there are for you - maybe a support group would help?”

“Thank you, doctor. That would be nice, actually. Um. Quick question - how… small can I get? Could I just… entirely disappear?”

Dr. Townsend lets out a huge sigh. “Well… on record, the smallest a person with Gulliver’s Hanahaki has been reliably measured at is about one and a quarter inch. There are rumors of people getting down to five centimeters, but frankly, that’s just ridiculous.”

Luther stares at the doctor for a long moment. “Right. Ridiculous.”

~~~

When he gets out to the waiting room, Luther is surprised to see Cam sitting there.

“I thought you left? You didn’t have to stick around.”

“Figured you might need a ride back. Wouldn’t want you shrinking on the way over.” Cam stands and stretches, rolling his neck. “Ugh. Little stiff,” he mutters.

Luther tries to get his racing heart back under control. He’s a little shorter than usual, and having Cam loom over him like this… it’s not doing him any favors in the height department. But he manages to keep a handle on himself as they walk out to the parking lot. Cam’s quiet for a bit, but once the car starts up, the questions begin.

“So, what’d the doctor say?” Cam asks, glancing over his shoulder as he backs out of the parking spot. A little ball of panic starts to form in Luther’s gut. Oh, nothing much, just that I’m going to shrink every time I’m awkward around my crush. Which is you, by the way.

“Uh, it’s… an autoimmune disorder,” Luther mumbles. “Rare one. They don’t know a lot about it yet.”

“Okay, makes sense,” Cam says. Luckily his eyes are on the road, so he doesn’t notice Luther losing an inch. “What’s it called?”

“G - “ Luther starts, then catches himself. What if Cam looks it up later and figures it out? He shrinks a little bit more and swallows, trying to clear his throat. “I… the name was… it was very long and I didn’t really, uh, catch it.”

Cam chuckles quietly. The sound reverberates around the inside of Luther’s skull. It’s so musical and sweet. He clutches the seatbelt and shrinks some more.

“Yeah, some of them have weird names. What kinda treatment are you lookin’ at?”

“Uh… this was just like, a consultation, to identify it? So we’re gonna do treatment next time.” Luther doesn’t even sound convincing to his own ears. Cam glances sideways at him and his heart skips a beat.

“We don’t have to talk about it,” Cam says, looking the other way as he makes a turn. “It’s medical stuff, it’s personal. I’m sorry for prying.”

“No, no, it’s not that! It’s… just a lot to take in, and I’m still - there’s a couple things it could be actually and they don’t know for sure so they took blood samples, and there’s tests that are gonna come back later, and um, uh…” Luther trails off. He’s shrunk so much now that the seat belt presses uncomfortably across his chest and neck, and the tension on it makes it difficult to adjust. He’d been staring out the windshield as he rambled, but now he’s too short to see much more than the sky. He feels Cam pull the car over and turn off the engine. Luther slowly turns to his left and looks up at Cam, who stares down at him in turn. Luther, maybe two feet high now, offers a shaky smile.

“There’s, um. No cure. Or treatment,” he says in a soft, wavering voice. “I just… live like this now.”

Cam tilts his head to one side like he’s trying to decide on something. He shifts in his seat, turns his body a little to face Luther, and props up one arm on the headrest. Then he sighs.

“You’re too short to sit in the front now,” he says. He glances to the backseat. Luther follows his gaze and stares in horror at the car seat sitting neatly behind the driver’s side.

“Oh, no,” Luther whispers. He raises his voice as Cam shifts again and undoes his seat belt. “No, no, no, no, I am not going in that! Cam!” But it’s too late. Cam opens the car door and gets out, then shuts it behind him. Luther slams down on the release button for his own seat belt with both hands, keeping his eyes on Cam through the windshield as he walks around the front of the car. The belt retracts with such force that it knocks him sideways, and it takes him a moment to right himself and get his bearings again. Before he can try to run or hide, the door opens, and Cam reaches in for him.

“No, please, come on,” Luther pleads. He backs up as far as he can, but Cam easily gets his hand around Luther’s middle and lifts him up. “I’m an adult, a full grown man, I can’t go in a baby seat! Please, Cam, don’t put me in that thing, why do you even have it? It’s so humiliating, you can’t do this!”

“Number one,” Cam says, opening the back door. “I can put you in it, I have plenty of practice wrangling my niece in there.” He sets Luther down and gets to work on the straps, easily subduing Luther’s halfhearted attempts to squirm free. “Number two, this is about traffic laws. If I’m driving around with someone under four feet in my front seat, I’m gonna get pulled over, and if you wanna explain to the officer that you’re a full grown adult and pay the ticket, be my guest. And number three,” he says, clicking the last buckle into place, “this is about your safety. We get in an accident, that seat belt up front is gonna do you more harm than good.” He straightens up again and shuts the door. Luther puts his head in his hands, trying not to break down in tears. That would only make it worse. The words ‘this is about your safety’ echo around his head in his father’s voice. He hears the driver’s side door open and close, hears Cam settle himself in, and manages to speak up.

“Just… please don’t laugh. Or take pictures, or anything.” He risks a glance between his fingers. Cam is looking at him in the rearview mirror, no amusement or pity visible in his eyes.

“I won’t.” The sincerity in his voice takes Luther by surprise. “This isn’t funny. This is really serious, and I’m sorry I had to do that.” He turns the key in the ignition and pulls the car back onto the road. “We’re nearly home. You won’t have to be there for long.”

Luther stares miserably out the window at the sky above. True to Cam’s word, it’s only another ten minutes before they’re pulling into the apartment complex’s lot. As soon as the car’s turned off, Luther starts pulling at the straps, trying to figure out how to get himself free. Cam comes around to his side again and opens the door.

“I got it, I got it,” Luther assures him. “It’s just this one, right? No… wait, this one? Or is it… um…”

“Let me,” Cam says softly. He reaches in and has the whole contraption undone in an instant. Then, to Luther’s surprise, Cam scoops him up and holds him against his chest like he’s a toddler. Luther’s arms hang over Cam’s shoulder as he blinks in shock. Cam whistles as he approaches the door to their building, fishing his keys out of his pocket. He opens the door one-handed and starts the climb up the stairs to their floor. Luther should say something, this is horribly demeaning, but… it’s also undeniably very nice. He feels supported and safe, and he’s so close to Cam but the usual stab of anxiety is totally absent. He could almost drift off like this.

Cam reaches his door and unlocks it, then stops suddenly and looks at Luther.

“Oh! Shit! I’m so sorry, it was kind of like muscle memory, I guess? God, I’m sorry.” He lowers Luther to the floor and looks away, rubbing the back of his neck.

“That’s… that’s okay. The stairs would’ve sucked to climb right now anyway.” Luther should leave, Cam’s still got the door open for him, but… “Do you mind if I stay for a bit? Just until I get a little bigger? Um, I can’t really reach my door handle right now, so…”

Cam smiles, and that familiar pang of anxiety flutters up inside Luther again. “Yeah, you can hang out here. You’re always welcome.” He turns and trudges towards the kitchen, his footsteps shaking the floor as he passes Luther. “It’s pot roast tonight, anyway. Even if you get your height back in the next five minutes, I’d insist you stay for dinner.”

Luther thinks about the doctor’s advice. Confess your feelings, and all of this gets easier. But when he goes to open his mouth, he loses another three inches all in one go. Luther digs his nails into his palms and sets his jaw. Not just yet, then. But soon. Eventually.

One of these days.