#God knows I have plenty of time
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Voice acting is so much fun!
Throat: Screw...you...bitch. Was that last scream really necessary????!
.... yes?
#my writing#I record my narratives to check for awkward lines and pauses#But I also use it as free practice#And It was a very dramatic moment in narrative#I may take that voice acting class now#God knows I have plenty of time#Hahahaaaaa.... Its only been a week and I'm just what do I do with myself#workaholics unite I guess#voice acting
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i feel like a lot of the takes on greek mythology i'm seeing are seriously lacking in contextual awareness?
#“apollo is known for being the god of queers” where though#i've heard of dionysus being known for being queer. he's the god of effeminacy and such#but apollo having male lovers at the time wasn't considered queer in the modern sense? it was pretty normal#it's not the same as having a male lover now#i don't know if i'm getting my point across. interpret however you want but i feel like some people dont realize#that's not how the ancients saw it?#unless im completely wrong#i have no idea. im just seeing some UPGs being presented as historical facts and getting a little peeved by it#that's just an example i've seen plenty of other ones#i think hermes was another?#chem speaks ₊ 𐙚#helpol#paganism#hellenic pagan#hellenic polytheist#hellenic polytheism
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Every once in a while I think about the ship I've been obsessed over for close to two years now and feel like I'm ascending to another plane of reality. Like sometimes you just encounter a ship that hits every single mark and is perfect in every regard and you're left stunned how something like that can even exist
#Anyways I'mma put the actual inane ramblings in the tags#Medic and Engie make me so ill every time I think about them for a while I feel like tearing into things and biting people and throwing up#How something like that can exist completely defies me#I don't know how something that perfect can exist#I'm typically a multi-shipper and while I still kinda am I honest to god don't really care to write other ships#Not cause they ain't good (they are pretty damn good) but because Engiemedic is just on another level#Like dammnnn!! that's why I've spent so long writing a fic about them!#I can't fathom it honestly how characters like that can exist#They're like a slightly warped reflection of themselves#They're both intelligent mentally ill lunatics with no morals whatsoever#The only thing is that Engie is marginally better at hiding it#If you go into headcanon territory than WHOO!! OHH DAMNNN#Like what gets me the most about Engiemedic is how they're so similar#They think and exist on the same wavelength#In tune with each other. Their neurons braided like wires#If I start talking about how the machine and the flesh are not opposites but rather one in the same we gonna be here all day#I just can't...believe the ship exists#Like man how does this happen#You want humour? Goofy wacky experiments and silliness of them violating several conventions#You want angst? Hell yeah they've got plenty of it#Fluff? Buddy I start wailing and sobbing if they accidentally brush hands while working on stuff#I could write about them for ages and not get bored they can fit in every circumstance#They make me SICK they make me CRAZY I love them so so much#They would do anything for each other#I look at what they have and I can feel like I understand what love is#I need to write more oneshots and minifics about them they're so flexiable and fun#Can't wait to do parallels with them in these upcoming chapters#Either way GODDDDD I love these two so much I could go on for hours about them#especially if I'm allowed to talk about headcanons#sp-rambles
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Seriously one of the most confounding things in the world is pop-Christian moralizing.
"Is ASMR ok for Christians?? 🤨🤔😧" I'm not sure in what world it would be sinful to listen to soothing brushing, ocean sounds, and tapping, yet someone felt the need to ask the question, and someone else felt the need to make a YouTube video answering it. (I didn't watch it, so I don't know the verdict, but somehow you're trusting the verdict to a rando on YouTube and not Discernment from God?)
"Christian facials" because having a hot towel on your face and putting on serum is in any way aligned with a religion or lack thereof, and therefore needs to/even Can be made Christian?
"Christian-friendly sex positions" and the only difference is it's stick figures instead of realistic drawings, and instead of male/female or penetrator/receiver, it's husband/wife. Because you know those goofy health-book illustrations were distracting you from the righteous goal at hand: eating your girl out. But you can't call her your girl, you have to make it clear to everyone seeing you have sex (which... is just the 2 of you, right?) that you're having Good and Not Sinful sex, because you, a Husband, are Married to your Wife. Side note: the stick figures actively make it harder to figure out the intricacies of any of the positions and therefore are objectively shittier at doing what they're made to do.
Christian soap, christian mints, christian calendars, christian music, christian curtains, christian fiction, christian restaurants, christian news, christian shops. There are things in the world that are OK being secular. The fact that your soap does not have an icthus sign etched in that washes away in 3 days anyway does not make you a bad person, or even a bad christian. Your home does not need something Christian™️ in every room for people (or yourself!) not to forget you're christian... I assume?
The king who must say he is king, etcetera. This kind of mindset is so boggling to me, and reeks of nominative faith and deeeeep insecurity. Retail therapy but instead of buying temporary happiness you're buying temporary grace. Being so beholden to the dogma of organized religion that you go to any person feigning authority on the subject rather than using your own brain to make a decision. The idea that things can only be okay to interact with if they're explicitly christian, as though interacting with it as a christian doesn't inherently put it through a christian lens; as though you can only get things trickled down to you from church authority figures with robust enough constitutions to judge what's ok for you because you don't have the ability to think critically; as though you should stay away from what's "sinful" rather than, LIKE JESUS, be able to go into it and be a good example; as though instead of learning to be capable of handling it, you should be as weak to sin as possible; as though you have to go through the world with kid gloves because touching something dirty would soil your soul (which, of course this implies, is sparkling - impossible, arrogant, and kind of denying God, lol [actually, not lol, I'm expanding on that. Denying God by refusing to admit your own sin. Denying God by refusing his grace because you won't admit your own sin. Denying God by acting like his power couldn't absolve something as simple as being exposed to sin, let alone if you did end up making a miatake. Denying God by keeping yourself in Good Christian spaces and not being there for people who need outside help. There's more but I digress]).
Also, the childish áffect of refusing to say things as they are because that would be bad, but referring to it in euphamism is fine - or, transversely, that using colloquialisms is bad, but medical speak is fine, depending on what breed of crackpot christian you're dealing with. "Hanky-panky" just say sex. "Adult drinks" just say wine, beer, liquor. "Flower" for the love of all that is holy just say vulva/vagina/virginity. "Breasts" is fine to describe your chest but "boobs" is not. You can say "buttocks" but not "butt". Discussing bathroom activities is decisively not cool but if utterly necessary you must say "urine" and "feces" because pee and poop are too pedestrian.
Like, entire side tangent, but the weirdly widespread christian-ism of not discussing things frankly or discussing them super detachedly, but both preferring to never discuss them at all, regarding anything "potentially sinful" or "not spiritually uplifting" (usually boiling down to "anything physical") is so whack to me. Do not discuss your period, even in female spaces, because it's tmi. Don't talk about your health issues if they're not Clean enough subjects, even as something to pray about (like breast/prostate cancer, shitting diseases). Don't ever talk about your sex life except to wiggle your eyebrows at your kids when they're old enough. Don't hug your male friends, daughter. Don't play with your little cousins, son. Sex is so so bad but everything is about it, actually. Sex is so so great which is why you should feel guilty about ever wanting it. All nudity is sexual. Dress so they know you're a woman but also that you're a lady. Fart jokes are not allowed. You must remember that all men are looking at you with lust at all times but you can't hold that against them. All things that get you sweaty or muddy are bad. Hair on women is unnatural but just dandy for men, except we can't talk about pubic hair so you're just going to have to figure out on your own if it's less sinful to not think about your vag enough to do anything to it or to ensure you're free of all sinful hair. Here's how to do makeup in a god-honoring way, because you couldn't know on your own, and you must both jump through this hoop to be acceptable to your men but not have enough fun and personal expression with it for it to become anything other than a chore. It is wrong to kill, which is why we support the troops. We are supposed to help the poor, which is why I drive past the beggars that are dirty and ragged and smelly. We are supposed to celebrate God with our bodies, which is why my most spiritually moved state equates to slightly raising my arms.
I can't close this post without including my oft-quoted favorite example of this weird-ass pop-Christian phenomenon translating to real-life people in real-time thoughts: my mom saying she had to take into account "which ice cream flavor is most glorifying to God" at a froyo shop. Either it's raspberry, or she chose sin that day.
#to be SLIGHTLY fair to my mom she was trying to give an example of ''having God as priority 1 all the time'' to middle school me#Who thought (correctly) that there are plenty of things which God has no direction relation to or care towards#What color you wear or what sandwich you eat having no impact on your relationship to God#And mom tried to illustrate that it's about the intention to be mindful of God 24/7 by using the most batshit method available#thus cementing my point and giving me the best example of the effects of this thing to date#christianity#christian#theology#in which I read a book with a really problematic fanbase#religion#So much of ''christian'' culture is alien to me... so much of it I hate with a deep fervor...#I will raise my kids to be okay with the fact that they are physical beings with bodies#I will raise them to make their decisions themselves based on their own interpretations and direction#And I will raise them to know that the world will not sully them without their consent - that to be good does not mean to be free of sin -#and that they take from the world what they bring to it and can face ''bad'' things without turning to stone
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i can't believe i live in a timeline where lucy is gonna feel prompted to tell tim she's in love with him after witnessing him fall unconscious and thinking she's lost him or could potentially lose him and only really realizing in that moment how either of their lives could change in an instant what with the line of work they're in.
#*carly catalogs#IT'S SO CLICHÈ BUT GOD I EAT IT UP#I EAT THAT SHIT UUUPPPPP!!!!!#like yeah she's seen him get hurt plenty of times#but they're officially dating now.... so the impact of either one of them witnessing the other get hurt is gonna be infinitely more INSANE#cause she wasn't there when he was dangling off that parking ramp with aaron#and she thought she didn't have to worry about his spinal surgery#and even though she was clearly very worried about him when she first entered his room#once he assured he was going to make a full recovery they picked right back up with their bantering#idk this just feels.... different... like so much more#especially if they're technically still in a fight#... like.... that fights not gonna matter anymore once it's light's out for that pretty pretty princess#the rookie#the rookie s6#tim bradford#lucy chen#chenford#otp: you know me so well#took an edible can you tell?????
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sorry about the birthday spam dfghjkl y’all are so incredibly kind and i appreciate it so much! i have a busy day today but my week is clear and i’m planning on opening up my requests for a day or two, so keep an eye out for that! 🖤🖤🖤
#i’m gonna cry you guys really know how to make a girl feel cherished#ch 4 of center stage is done so i have plenty of time to get 5 done#i really miss filling shorter fic requests!#and my plan is to potentially use some of them for kinktober too#i really wanna stay ahead of the game and get some monsterlander stuff done too#as well as FINALLY finish 9 of eat your ego#aaahhh god i wish i just had all the time in the world to write haha
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when i was watching some of a pentiment playthrough the other night & reflecting on brother piero as kind of a model of the ideal role that the protagonists play (& foil/counterpart to the antagonist, by extension, as the protagonists are) as people trying to discover & tell the truth but having to be aware that they're also constructing a story & even if they feel they've come up with the most Truthful Story in some fashion they also have to be aware this will still only be interpreted by others who may see different things in it & want different things out of it, the limitations of their roles & relationships with those around them as well as just being another person among people regardless of how they're viewed....piero looking at andreas's completed masterpiece & praising that he's depicted things as they are, or more specifically how andreas has seen them to be, rather than what we might want to see; & piero before & after this always qualifying his input/opinion with like "but you don't have to listen to me" "but it's just the opinion of one old monk" etc sort of Humble Monk Perspective that is in earnest (rather than like passive aggressive or anything lol) & like this approach is still subject to being questioned & considered when piero being quite as So Be It Accepting Of Whatever Happens & uninterested in control or even exerting much influence over things is part of what andreas jumps in over like hey i personally like this guy plus he indeed probably didn't do this & is just being sacrificed b/c Someone Must Die to punish tassing for flouting authority (killing this baron for being so terrible like well could've been any of us) but then naturally that doesn't make piero necessarily Wrong in any way either, not wrong of You to have anything done To You. just the game also has its perspective & points to make but also isn't trying to do it from on high Over You, the player
#pentiment#such that [closes eyes deep breath over the frustration in checking reddit comments for info about like so anyone have a list of who in#tassing is present in which acts / is gone in which future acts] & there's ppl talking like This Is A Mystery With Correct Answers#okay whatever but when someone was like ''i don't think it was ferenc b/c when he's executed: a Truly Guilty party wouldn't act like that''#kill Me why don't you#well anyway. brother piero....that moment at the. hands washing place where andreas has the dialogue choices#to be like He Was Wrong You Know & defend piero (who will be like Haha It's Fine. You Are My Pride) like it's just such a fun little moment#having it Fixed like this like andreas already has this Significance to his relationship with piero / cares about him#preceding & despite whatever player choices; like immediately being introduced to that in the first set of dialogue options#i.e. the abbot told me to spend less time talking to brother piero. save it for the loquarium fellas (gernot would/did not say this)#imagine a good humored gernot....one must imagine: abbot matthias#thinking of sister illuminata's reluctance to Opine / Comment also similar to & More So than piero; as a humble / devout nun#but you can get to that point she'll comment on matthias like to err on the side of / too much kindness is to stumble at the feet of god#what was i talking about. that yeah anyway of course it's Plot Relevant that protecting piero Must be andreas's motivation but#pentiment does plenty of like. we don't have to See the relationship in some ''overarching'' way to interpret the emotions / meaning alread#there through what is shown of the Emergent & Observable To Us dynamics & character actions/responses to whatever feelings at play#again re: the themes of being aware of the limits of what's communicated / shown to us inadvertently or on purpose /#our interpretation & perspective....pentiment you are so fun. the player i was watching having such lively responses like#the act two dream that reveals this context/info about andreas withheld even from the player till then while there's been Relevant Instance#already that the player has been free to interpret & judge while unknowingly Lacking this info/context. one of my fave maneuvers of the gam
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and honestly, can i even call myself an artist? or a musician? when i have never had the passion or the dedication to work until ive mastered the techniques and honed my eyes and ears and connected with the paper and the piano? i dont want to do this forever. my art is only sometimes meaningful, my music is only sometimes moving. i am stranded in the space between obsession and apathy. if i think about what i will become i get nauseous. i'm no performer not really, the talent the teachers and relatives all pointed to is good, certainly, but not juilliard good. not concert pianist good. not international gallery good. and that's okay, you know? i don't need to be the best there's ever been. but i want to at least be good at something. jack of all trades master of none better than a master of one but i don't know, sometimes it would be nice to say i want to be a master of this. i want to devote my life to this. i won't get tired of this and grow to hate it. will i teach children piano in five years? will i spark in them an unwavering drive for music if i never felt it myself? how can i call myself a professional, how can i identify with my field of study, when i can't even promise to love it? and when my mentors say you have to be willing to devote yourself to the study, you have to be able to work at one small piece one tiny detail until it's beautiful, you have to become part of your instrument and never practice in front of people, never perform like you don't know what you're doing, never call your work good enough before you have wrung every drop of artistry out of it. when they say all that, i feel nothing but guilt. not motivation, not passion for the study. just another thing i can see in my future, another job i'll like enough but only be adequate at, another field i'll have proficiency in--but not mastery, never mastery. jack of all trades master of none better than a master of one but when they ask me what do you live for i cannot tell them
#fuck. i'm gonna watch the marriage of figaro so i can prep an hour long presentation and pretend i want to know what im doing#i loveeee being the best i loveee being a master at shit and in my small town i was great at it. but thats not how the world works#and i know it!!! but i wish. i dont know. i wish i didnt drop my hyperfixations so fast. i wish i loved something enough to live it.#i wish i could survive on one study alone. one topic i love enough to become the best at#god gave me adhd bc he knew otherwise id be smoking all u hoes i whatever profession i sought#hashtag just music major things. u know you've picked the right field/s if you get physically nauseous thinking abt working in the future#idk. idk. i know im good. i also know im not amazing. but when im asked to put in the work all i can say is#i dont know that i even want to be amazing. am i even making good use of my time?#and ultimately it's totally fine right? like. i have plenty of time. life finds a way. im not doomed. i will have more chances in the futur#but like. fuck. i wish i could just pick a fucking lane.#anyways. tag time.#toasty talks#toast studies#toast plays piano#art#writing#music#long post#vent#vent post
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It’s 7:30 in the morning and I’m exhausted but I don’t know if I’ll be able to fall asleep again any time soon….
It’s like I was *just* starting to heal from having my heart and trust shattered 3 years ago, and now it’s happening all again, only this time I don’t have the church to go to for comfort/prayer/encouragement. And instead of a friendship I had for 2-3 years, it’s a church I’ve been going to for TWENTY TWO YEARS
I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone, this can’t actually be happening, right?
(I’m not okay, I keep crying and I just want to wake up from this nightmare)
#I don’t even know what to tag this as I just can’t#I was literally just telling my counselor that I feel like I’ve never had the ‘years of plenty’#only the suffering and trials…and now this happens to seem to confirm that#and it doesn’t help that I was already having trouble trusting the leader after last year#and now it’s like a big ‘I told you’ from my brain which isn’t gonna help me trust anyone in the future#I was already having a hard time taking chances and trying to trust again ans NOW THIS#I know I should at least try to sleep again I just…I don’t even know anymore#I’m not even gonna tag this as any normal stuff tbh#how about just#aceo get her heart broken again#not to mention I’m terrified I’m going to fallback into the numb empty depression pit I only just kind of got out of#and faith? bro I understand how people left the church or faith cause it is HARD to differentiate between the church and God#I’m still trying to pray and stuff I just feel so empty and I can’t do this again#it doesn’t help that the church claimed that they felt ‘lead’ to this crappy situation whatever THAT means#I only heard it second hand tbh…I just…can this stop please? can this all just be a horrible dream that I wake up from? please
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#why has my head been such a mess lately?#I've had breakdowns every day this week and there's no sign of it getting any better#I just feel so worthless and unlovable all the time now#I can't stop comparing myself to everyone else and picking apart all of the things that I'm worse at#I feel like a fuckup and a loser and I genuinely can't comprehend why anyone even associates with me#and it's making me feel so lonely#god I'm so lonely#I have plenty of friends and partners and amazing people everywhere now#but I feel like I'm on the outside looking in most of the time#It's really getting to me and I know I have to make a change or do something about it soon#I can't take it much longer
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Mel for the unhinged character bingo!
yessss YEEEESSSSSSSSS
#ask me#so Mel is in the unenviable position of being a very strong character whose rights I support and whose wrongs I also fully support#BUT the way she's treated broadly in the fandom is so pervasive and so consistent and so frustrating to me that#I am in full -must protect my blorbo- mode with her at all times#-Mel's story is over so the only thing left for her to do is die-#-if Mel dies then J can get together with V and they will appreciate her for her sacrifice bc she died a hero who rejected Ambessa-#enough! enough I say!#what about proving to ambessa that she can take the throne for herself? what about the angst of defying her mother and her home country#and opposing those in Piltover who DO want war and want to raze the undercity#what about the magic that she's heavily foreshadowed to have and how it's different from hextech#and how it directly opposes but also parallels what is happening to Viktor#what about her -friends- abroad and the plot Mel was cooking through all of season 1 that has not been revealed yet#there's so much potential for her to have to confront the fact that J was slowly becoming a monster through season 1#and that she can't ignore the undercity forever#also what if whoever Ambessa says killed her brother comes after Mel too!#it is very frustrating to see Mel get dismissed as dead or evil or irredeemable or whatever when she is consistently#the most interesting person in the room in every single scene she's in and the character who shows the most conviction and change#so yeah i will take a bullet for her she is my blorbo I will despise any character who hurts her#and I would cradle her in my arms if she gave me a chance - which she would never! - but a girl can dream#however I also enjoy leaning into the idea that Mel is perceived as being a devil from the outside - Mel leans into it too when it serves#but it's in direct opposition to her ironclad values and the personality that she keeps hidden a layer down#I genuinely think that Mel will have a happy ending - or at least as happy an ending that an Arcane character can get lol#like I fully believe she will take the throne (Piltover) in the end but I can only guess at this point what that will cost her#I love putting Mel in situations but mainly to play with both how creative she can get and also how fucking far she will go to win#which is ANOTHER thing we know is probably true about Mel but has not been put on display yet#also Mel has already done a great job at separating what she wants for herself as a person from just being Ambessa's daughter#but Mel still deserves to get plenty of great therapy for that situation because OH GOD THAT CHILDHOOD FLASHBACK#also Kino is dead? maybe dead?? at least Mel fully believes he's dead so she needs therapy and hugs for that too#I am super normal about her can you tell
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god the amount of art i would pump out if i stopped letting lineart talk me out of it i would be unstoppable
#this is a rant @ me and not to sound like i'm bragging when i say what i'm about to say#but i swear to god it takes more time/effort for me to do a cartoonish drawing than a photo realistic-ish drawing and i hate it#because sometimes i just want to do a simple drawing that's just lineart. maybe SOME shading.#but i fuss so much on how the lines should look and where to add more/less lines and what kind of thickness and blah blaaah#i have SO many art ideas i want to bring to life i stress myself out about it#i know that sounds so stupid#like yes just do art! do it bad! it's better than nothing!#but it's... deflating. especially when i literally have an art degree like#5 years of art school and i was barely taught anything about line art#'oh well that's in animation so you'd want to do a degree in television' ???#and those few times lineart was relevant was when there was a naked person in front of us when you're told to just replicate what you see#but we rarely had any variety between models and when i'm in that setting drawing someone my mind is just#~oh god naked person don't stare but i must don't think about it but it needs to be right oh god naked person i'm uncomfortable -+#like it was just overwhelming stress of getting it right rather than actually learning anything#which honestly sums up my art school experience overall#but it also doesn't help when you hate your own body so much and the idea of someone trying to draw you is just humiliating#(like at one point we had to partner up with someone and both paint their portrait AND model their head with clay#and i nearly had a breakdown and refused and asked if i could use someone at home instead#bc I've got plenty of scars and deformities and my face isn't symmetrical and i knew that was either going to be overlooked or exaggerated#and when it's the other way around i try my best to pay attention to detail but it's becoming this debilitating anxiety#of doing exactly that back. and it's made me paranoid to do anatomy related stuff) ANYWAY#it would have been good if people weren't ALWAYS naked and they helped us narrow down how different fabrics work on bodies and stuff#and to help us convey that through LINEART instead of needing to do whole ass paintings and detailed sketches and stuff#[SpongeBob voice] WHAT I LEARNED IN ART SCHOOL IS--- 😬#anyway if any fellow artists have any tips they'd be willing to share i would very happily listen#like i've got my drive back to draw things again which in itself is nice but man#it would be nice to not lose steam 5 minutes after anything i start drawing because i freak myself out#okay rant over if anyone's still here thank you for your patience and interest#me ranting
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I'll say it as many times as it needs to be said. There is absolutely miniscule actual harm that comes from engaging with Harry Potter in 2024. JK Rowling does not need money. Anything sent her way is less than a rounding error. And the book series was literally EVERYWHERE in the 90s and 2000s. Like it or not, it DID impact a whole generation of people - pretending that never happened is completely absurd, if not outright irresponsible. It happened. It's just a fact. Harry Potter is mainstream. There is nothing that can be done to 'promote' it. It's already there.
What all this obsession with HP on tumblr is about? An easy way to smugly define Good People from Bad People. Because if you *really* cared about trans people enough, you'd hate everything associated with Harry Potter. Regardless of how much you adored it when you were 8 and went to Harry Potter parties with your family all dressed up quoting book lines at one another in your most precious childhood memories because for once your special interest actually aligned with the people closest to you. No, all those positive associations should have been deleted instantly. If you *cared enough*, it would just *happen*.
Which is why a whole slew of people who previously had earnestly reblogged posts about Moral OCD and how bad tumblr can be about it were suddenly cackling about how buying Hogwarts Legacy was comparable to *refusing to throw The One Ring into Mordor, starting a war that would kill millions.* And how donating to a pro-trans charity (an act that would have VASTLY more impact than aforementioned rounding error) is comparable to 'donating to a pro-elf charity' in the wake of that.
Because tumblr doesn't actually give a shit about autistics or OCD sufferers. When we complain about stuff that they also dislike, they proudly reblog that and rage in the notes about how selfish and cruel and Individualist those other people on tumblr are!!! But the *second* they get to paint themselves as the ones with '''''good thoughts and feelings'''''' they take it, and make up posts about how HP likers 'believe they're the main character and everything should revolve around them.'
Is it actually about whether something causes harm? Or is it about dividing the world into Inherently Good People and Inherently Bad People? Is it actually about doing real good for the community and making the world a better place? Or is it about shaming people with the Wrong Emotions until they fucking hate themselves and spend hours upon hours ruminating on end trying to change themselves because their inability to let go of positive Harry Potter feelings is OBVIOUSLY evidence of a truly inescapably evil and cruel and wretched identity that the world would be better off without?
Which is it, actually? When it actually feels a little bit good to feel like you're on the Right Side of all of this, for once?
#cant fucking believe im doing this to myself on the day before his birthday#im gonna have to stay up til 12:30 tonight#if im STILL obsessing over this shit then Im gonna start demanding recompense#dont donate to ocd charities (do they even exist lmfao) just give $20 to someone w ocd every time you make a Stern Post abt hp '''promoters#..#hp for ts#god no fucking offence but this all is the ACTUALLY terminally online bullshit#do you know the library I work at has Harry Potter posters/displays etc. up???#stocks plenty of 'wizarding world crochet' books and the like???#99.999% of the world barely knows what jkr is doing#and the rest just think 'wow she's awful' (or whatever else) and dont connect that to hp at all#its only on certain internet spaces that this 'engage with HP = immediate and inescapable corruption by the devil' mentality exists#hell even the idea that anyone with something HP related is trying to signal terfism or whatever#i dont doubt that some ppl TRY that but. it doesnt work lmfao.#not once has my aunt thought 'oh I better remove my Hermione keychain or someone will think I hate trans people'#that is literally terminally online brainrot!!! real people do not think that way!!!!!!!!!!!!
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stan: how do they tell you apart when you’re in the arena if you’re fighting another you?
ford: uh- they don’t, mostly
stan: well, how do they know who to root for then?
ford: one thing you learn in the multiverse is that a lot of beings think of humans as pets at best and pests at worst
stan: …so…?
ford: it’s like watching a cockfight for them
stan: oh. shit
#random alien: YOU SIR. FIGHT FOR OUR AMUSEMENT#ford: i- i can’t right now i have to kill god#random alien: THERE SHALL BE PLENTY OF GODKILLING AFTER THE EVENT LET’S GO#(also we have never written a harder sentence than ‘pets at best and pests at worst’)#(our stutter did not like that one. nor did our ability to read)#(we didn’t know what words to replace them with though)#(so. ae would like you to imagine ford stumbling over that phrase like six times before he gets it just legible enough that stan gets it)
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bg3 is crazy for being a massive $70 larian + wotc collab game whose accessibility menu features subtitles that are present for less than half of all idle character dialogue and almost zero battle dialogue
#succ speaks#not to be the 'paizo wouldn't let this happen' guy but god this is actually insane#like why even have an accessibility menu at that point? i'd rather watch a youtube video with automatic captions#same energy as devs complaining that everyone was making their pcs a white human guy in early access while they had no asian human options#like bro i just want to know what bestie karlach is saying but if u make her mumble with no captions even tho i have subtitles on#tf am i supposed to do.....🤨😡😭💀#baldur's gate 3 is fun but this is pissing me off. like i'm prob not gonna keep playing this solo & only play online with friends#it's fun but. not fun enough to mimic the actual wacky bullshit i do with charisma rogues and bards in dnd or pf#i think i'm also used to having real humans around for ttrpg antics and dynamic character interactions so bg3 feels bland in comparison lol#also because irl i can ask people to repeat what they just said 🙃🙃🙃#joining the mob by accident was admittedly funnier in bg3 than it was in dnd though considering i stumbled into the base out of nowhere#i guess it just falls under ny philosophy that dnd is most fun when wotc has zero actual say in what happens and what we can do 👍#however as much as pf > dnd...bg3 > kingmaker. i think pathfinder is just to true of a ttrpg to adapt into a video game super well#like. the writing in wotr was WAY better than bg3 but still sometimes bad enough to be infuriating ESPECIALLY in regards to iomedae#but the weird ass iomedae stuff is also true in the adventure path itself and plenty of other people have complained about it#but hey at least in wotr the subtitles told me what she was saying every time she spoke 👍#wotr was still rly fun tho no hate to the game in general this is a quick slam of being pissed at bg3 again 🙏🙏
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Yuri's dialogue (JP) is so fascinating to study, like... the repetitive use of certain words/phrases that others use sparingly but he uses constantly. the way it feels like his vocabulary is more expansive than what he uses, but he defaults to a "comfort" level of speech. the way it mixes in with his sort of "street talk" words and the sheer level of informality. the way his "street talk" phrasing is contrasted by the tone of his voice (on that note, people I know who also know JP are also very endeared by these aspects of him so I KNOW IT'S NOT JUST ME!!!).
'cause the thing is, he uses phrases that yeah, other people do use, but he uses a handful over and over and over (contrast to other characters' sparing use of repetition). it's actually... really refreshing? it sounds more relatable and less "video game/anime/JRPG/RPG" writing or something, idk. like closer to how a real person would speak.
I do my best in my translations not to make things sound too stiff across the board, but Yuri makes it so easy. it's why I'm so interested in translating all his lines in Vesperia, like... the actual, original tone for him with his original wording because it's smth Eng only players don't get to experience ('cause even if you listen with JP audio, if you don't know the language, ofc you're gonna miss out on context. it's nobody's fault for not knowing, just... they unfortunately miss out). the thing is, there are a lot of times when the lines in and of themselves are not contextually incorrect in the English ver (usually the situation for smaller scenes, because they altered the text outright for more important stuff which was the stuff that originally set me off, but there were also plenty of cases of just vocal tone shifting with the correct context that still gave off the wrong impression), but Yuri's tone is shifted away from the original in Eng even though it's completely and perfectly translatable.
I am by no means about to translate the entire game because let's face it, I really don't care that much for Vesperia on the whole. I'm kinda stuck with it because Yuri's there lo and behold I actually am WAY more engaged in his stories in Rays, Link and Asteria because it's an amazing character put into circumstances where he actually gets to shine and feels more alive, which Vesperia did not provide nearly as well with its very disjointed story. also, Tales gachas have banger stories that are arguably better than the mainline games, and they regularly make Yuri a very central character to the gachas. Crestoria was also about to do it until they pulled the plug on that game and I'm pretty confident something interesting has been lost to the world. also I just generally don't have the energy or motivation to do that, so... I'll only be focusing on Yuri's lines, especially because his stuff is where the bulk of the messing around was. he's just insanely fun to translate for and I love burying myself head first into his speech.
will I actually finish this project? dunno. will I get around to posting it? whatever I get done (so all of it if I complete it), and if I decide to call it quits then I'll post what I have at the time I decide that. will it take a long time? probably, but I can always mention stuff along the way...
#GTF Vesperia Things#GTF Yuri Things#also the more I comb the script the more I properly notice all the uh... very awkward loc changes in smaller sentences in smaller scenes#like things that change the understanding of a sentence. or in Yuri's case just... the usual annoying personality shifting#noticing lots more stuff than when I did those big posts bc I was less focused on the tiny stuff/not side by side comparing#like a lot of this stuff is plot irrelevant and I knew it was littered around but I'm just getting#a bit more of a proper feel for it and how often it's there while studying Yuri's speech under a microscope bc I like observing him fkjhsjg#the fact that they're extremely largely consistent in tampering with Yuri's verbal (not just vocal) tone still has me LIKE.#but I'm fighting to ignore it so I can study my precious boy for reasons unknown beyond hyperfixation#also with Link I was actually mad at first bc they totally dropped the ball on Yuri's repetitive speech in arc 1. like it just wasn't there#there were plenty of times I noticed that normally he'd be SAYING those phrases but it just didn't happen where it should've#(like ''he'd def have said that here but it's not here'') Rays' main writer was not Vesperia's and she STILL got him down PERFECTLY#frankly I'd argue Rays' writing of Yuri is more correctly Yuri than Vesperia Yuri is which is oddly hilarious LOL#but mainly more that arc 2 Yuri is fucking WONKY sometimes but god knows most of my friends who know JP don't like that writer for#various reasons. somehow he pulled out that banger of a novel but arc 2 forget it. but yeah Rays just... really encapsulated YURI himself#the dialogue for him is spot on. not that Link and Asteria flunked with him bc they didn't#it's just that I think Rays and Miyajima gave the best quality of him bc the circumstances let him be more expressive#that said back to Link arc 2 did actually fix the speech issue so I don't know if they had different writers between arcs or just#realized they forgot to include those points of his character in arc 1 bc I know it wasn't the Link loc's fault#bc Yuri had full JP audio and I could hear that they just didn't have those things#but LORD the ACTUAL RELIEF that flooded me when arc 2 brought that shit back LMAOOOO#but yeah as far as Yuri goes he's absolutely fascinating and unique and he shines so bright in the gachas#it makes me really really sad that his home game is one I don't have much interest in#and that it's one that a lot of ppl feel the writing was wonky for (bc it was)#but I'm eternally grateful the gachas gave him opportunities to really shine as a character in great settings#bc it's not that he doesn't shine in Vesp itself. it's that the circumstances don't rly... allow him to be like PROPERLY unrestrained ig?#idk it's hard to explain. just. he was more. WHOOSH. I guess. in the gachas. yeah. like that. or smth. :')#sorta like. amazing character but not the best circumstances for him to show his true potential which I think he does in the gachas#bc the gachas have such great stories and scenarios and he's put into them#ANYWAY TL;DR YURI'S SPEECH IS FASCINATING AND I LOVE HIM
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