#God I feel way too emotional for him
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Text
// Small reminder (because it came up as a topic between some friends of mine) that in my portrayal, Shadya (Akshan's old mentor) was a mother figure for him, thus no romantic feelings.
The stuff you can read about feels like nibbling on naked bones, but still. I always had her as a mother figure in mind. Some people never read his story, hear his voice lines about Shadya and be like, " HAHA MUST HAVE BEEN HIS CHICK "- no please he loved her as family. He was an orphan. He is not 'Viego, but on the good side'.
Yes, both champions resemble losing a loved one, but love is such a wide spectrum. It does not always have to be romantic to have an impact on the character.
Okay okay I calm down I am just very sensible when it comes to my silly little guy.
#Ā āā Back to square one again āĀ ā ooc.#it makes me angry when people actually ship them#I mean no offense ship who you want! It just is so obvious to me#It hurts even more knowing she died one week before the Ruination took place#Like he must have felt so helpless#He had such big responsibilities with the Absolver suddenly#My guy didn't have time to mourn and help the sentinels#God I feel way too emotional for him
3 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
Although I just started reblogging Arcane stuff now, Iāve been into the show since 2021. So to put it on the record: Iāve always loved Jayce.
Heās always had pure intentions, but can be naive, single-minded, and selfish, which (as weāve seen) can really hurt the ones he loves. He didnāt ask to be the Man of Progress, and that clouded a lot of his judgment. And just as he realizes, in this moment, his real wants and needs (being faced with the reality of his best friend dying in his arms), he panics, desperately trying to revive himā but Viktor is no longer able to reciprocate that love, those wants. Heās saying that thisā the end of their life togetherā was inevitable. And Jayce canāt even explain himself correctly, heās sleep-deprived, a little manic, so relieved, confused, and overwhelmed.
Heās trying to keep it together, in the spotlight, a well-meaning manā and Iāve always loved him.
#arcane#jayce talis#viktor#jayvik#mine#more in tags#his story with Viktor is so tragic in such a heartbreaking way#their relationship is very very beautiful and sad#it goes to show how Mel has to remind him to talk to Cait#I love Mel so much too and her mama#but the fact remains Jayce is full and full of love but the responsibilities and sometimes just outright disregard for loved ones#makes him very neglectful#heās made a lot of mistakes and itās a betrayal with the hexcore and Viktor#but heās just trying to please everyone#also I have a theory Viktor can feel some emotions itās obvious with his guilt of Sky and hallucinating her probably because of the hexcore#but I think heās going to further and further shut his emotions off#I donāt even see their relationship as romantic I think their bond is so deep in their care for each other its just so much love#I could see Viktor having some feelings and a potential maybe for Jayce but itās too late isnāt it#god them
85 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
#dbtag#silly hours#god#I feel like that's a really clear and consistent thing throughout the entirety of the manga but OTL leave it to Toei!!!!#lays on the floor I wish people were less afraid of letting āgood guysā be flawed and selfish and reckless without having to like.#idk vilify them?#like Goku does and always has had a ton of negative qualities about him but what keeps him a protag and what keeps those negatives charming#is that 1) he never promises to be anything Else. If you're upset by his behavior that's a you problem Goku's just doing Goku#He's only upset when Other People get hurt because 2) almost none of those negative qualities contain any malice whatsoever#even as a kid when he was 'i killed that guy' it was like 'i solved a problem why are you mad (gen)' not 'good fucking riddance lol'#and he kept that as an adult too even when he learned more about compassion he's still 'well if you're not gonna stop i have to kill you'#it's never 'fuck off and die' it's always 'listen buddy either you knock it off or i knock you out there is no option c '#and god i love that Goku. I spent so long thinking I hated Goku growing up but I only hated Toei's Goku. Toriyama's Goku is GREAT.#like look if an antagonist is just a hero with the wrong perspective a hero is just a villain with the right one#and the fact that Goku has all of the qualities of a villain with none of the malice or intention makes him SO POWERFUL as a character#Goku doesn't like bystanders getting hurt. That doesn't make him less chaotic and self-centered and simplistic in his worldview.#A hero sacrifices his loved ones to save the world -- a villain sacrifices the world to save his loved ones --#Goku sacrifices himself because you cannot kill him in any way that matters#idskahds anyway here's another essay in the tags for your wednesday evening scroll#the justification the interviewer gave was that the anime was for kids but my beef with that is that Hero Tropes strip chaotic characters#of their emotions. Goku's conflicts are emotional. Goku's power is emotional. Goku's childlikeness keep him authentically emotional.#MORE kids -- ESPECIALLY little boys -- deserve a male protagonist who leans into his emotions to persevere and win.#Super deciding his āangelic stateā would kill him makes me want to tear my hair out lmao Goku's EMOTIONS are too strong to hold it.#you could've just asked toriyama about it why'd you decide on the most basic high-stakes shorthand possible OTL#aNYWAY#media analysis#in the tags at least lol
59 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i'm not saying 'chilchuck did nothing wrong,' but i'm becoming increasingly bothered by the framing that the marriage failed because it was 'only his fault,' when his wife did just up and leave, seemingly without saying anything to him or having a conversation about it?
and i know we don't see anything from Her perspective, so maybe she did try, but the fact that he had no idea anything was wrong, despite being fairly present with her and their daughters is i think pretty indicative that she was probably stewing with her frustrations in silence for a long time... like, i'm not pinning the blame on her, but leaving your spouse without saying anything is also not great? especially if it's some sort of 'test'?
like, i think they both Kind Of Messed Up and now there's a stalemate where they're upset, and chilchuck is afraid to make the next move because he doesn't want to upset her further, but the longer he waits, the more frustrated she gets... and so it continues
also, dunmeshi spends SO much time focusing on how we often unintentionally hurt our loved ones, but how there's almost always ways to move past it and grow, so it feels very strange to me when people insist that there's no reason for them to get back together. like if you don't want them to, that's fine! but insisting that there's no way to repair their relationship, or that it's only one person's fault, or that it's unhealthy or whatever... idk, but it doesn't sit right w me.
#this isnt even from like 'a shipping perspective' idk i just feel like some of the Bad Husband Stuff is being#framed like... how good u r at emotional vulnerability means you 'deserve/dont deserve' to be in a happy relationship? idk how to phrase i#gsjdgdjdh WHO is gonna write that 30k chilwife separation fic exploring their marital issues? please dont say me#like god wouldnt it be interesting if she left him bc she percieved him as being 'too emotionally distant' (which is NOT an unfair criticis#lmfao ive even talked abt it before wrt gender) ... but was ALSO BEING EMOTIONALLY DISTANT?#is it not interesting the way this sort of created a self-fulfilling prophesy ? where her frustrations with him only led her to withdraw#further from him which only made him EVEN MORE distant especially as he get busier w work which made her More frustrated etc etc....#L.txt#dungeon meshi#chilposting
33 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
my s class hunters does a really good job at gradually raising the stakes without feeling like a pointless power creep and keeping me extremely invested and i keep saying this but I really do think it's bc it's a story grounded in love at every turn... the bond between the han brothers especially is extremely compelling and beautiful and makes me feel like a knife is being stabbed into my heart and twisted all around... i love them so so much ššā¤ļøāš©¹ā¤ļøāš„ā¤ļøāš„ā¤ļøāš„
#(another tweet liveblog that im crossposting here)#im up to ep 102 in the webtoon now btw!!!#s class liveblog#also it took a while for yj to completely grow on me (i always liked/loved him but it's prob bc they#lightened the tone of his chara or w/e as ppl were saying... in the beginning at least#that ive been holding off calling him a 'fav' (im kinda picky w protags/have side chara liking syndrome...#even w twsb i didnt rly start biasing yeseo until i read the novel... cedric was my 1st bias#(and w orv ive only read (part of) the webtoon and yjh is my bias so mdnfn)#(āi rly loved yj from the 1st few ch tho but yea i can kinda tell the webtoon lightened his chara a lot... not that i think its all bad bc#its been fun to read at least dkfbdn)#but now that im further in im just like... wow. he's such an incredible character and protagonist. wow#def as good of a protagonist as kdj (and i personally like him better bc he's a big brother HHHHHNG.#i love him just like i love jung yeseo...#i love him SO much. he's just incredible#and yea dont tell me about the novel bc im going to read it myself but#yeah i rly cant wait to experience his original characterization and get intimately aquainted w his narration/internal thoughts...#REITERATING...DONT SPOIL ME ANYTHING FR#also just more abt the webtoon but... biwan-nim is SOOO good at drawing expressions & portraying emotions#i fucking feel every emotion that yj feels and it fucking breaks my heart and makes me cry uuuaaaghh T___T#yoojin.... TT__TTššš#also god he's just... so fucking COOL. and not just in like a cool savvy protag kinda way#(bc usually i kinda sleep when protags r like. Too cool/op skfjksdj but he's not like that at all)#i mean as a person... he's so incredibly... oughhh#as a person... as a big brother... T__T...#i cant even put it into words. he's just... i love him so much. it hurts.... im so deeply invested and rooting for him at every step...#he and yoohyun deserve the whole world i really hope they can get their happy ending together T_Tšššā¤ļøāš„ please...
16 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
also. amber gris as a character is really important to me as an appalachian.
not just her accent or the specific type of person justin based her off of but like
the feeling of losing someone to addiction/overdose while the government does nothing to help, just criminalizes and stigmatizes and makes things worse. which obviously happens in more places than just around here, but we have one of the highest rates of overdose death in the whole country and that whole set of scenes felt like they were really informed by growing up around that
#eliot posts#taz#taz ethersea#the adventure zone#amber gris#drugs cw#death mention#i've made posts like this and deleted them cuz i never feel like i'm wording it just right but just. god.#i'm lucky enough to have never been addicted or to have a best friend or immediate family member die from it#but i've lost or nearly lost extended family to it#and it's like.#my own accent isn't that thick and neither is my immediate family's or best friends'#but i've known ppl who talked like her.#specifically a man named larry who lived with us when we were real young#for some reason especially the way amber says ''come on'' just always reminds me so strongly of larry's voice. he said that phrase a lot#he was the one who taught me to tie my shoes even after my parents lost patience with me for being 'too old' to not understand#he drank excessively like my dad did but he never got mean with us kids#he came and went a few times over the years. the final time he left was when i was in late elementary#he died of an overdose when i was in high school. i didn't feel much of anything at the time.#it had been so long since i'd seen him but also i was at a point in my life where i'd've been numb to big emotions like that anyway#so my parents got drunk about it and i did nothing. just went to school and shit as usual.#i did not expect those feelings to get dredged up by a goddamned comedy dnd podcast#but they did it well i think#even though i had to pause it to take a breather multiple times. i enjoyed it overall. cathartic i guess?
139 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
11 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
just going about my day idly contemplating how some of the ways hawke can interact with a romanced anders are not at all unlike how they interact with leandra (and a bit of carver too, especially with a purple hawke), and then thought about my hawke in the timeline where he romances anders and was hit straight in the face with 'was he ever actually in love, or was he just desperately trying to renegotiate with his mother's ghost in any way he could' and now i need to lie down. this is the power of dragon age 2
#'you don't know my mother' haunting me through the years#dragon age#dragon age 2#hawke#On second thought let's not go to Kirkwall; it is a silly place#there are of course as many ways to do/read that relationship as there are players to interact with it haha and all valid!#but my personal version of handers is sooo fucked up and bad times for everyone involved and I love it haha.#this is a relationship neither of them should have been in and that made everything worse and everyone unhappy in the end#locked tomb levels of the horrors of love. i ship it but in the way that I want to make it sadder and more gutwrenching each time#to be clear this is a very mutual two-way kind of fucked up but I think varric in his loyalty and love would downplay hawke's side of it#for huge swathes of their relationship anders is not in a mental place to be a good partner and the emotional blackmail is Not Okay#(but it's just like how mother used to make it! hawke's soul cries sadly as it reaches for it hungrily)#which is in some ways fair enough no one could accuse him of not warning you ahead of time fjskda#but hawke is messy about it in a way only available to a covert people pleaser who has never had a millisecond of therapy#with some added stuff that my hawke is always acespec in some form and when he gets together with anders...#is the sex something he doesn't particularly care to have or not have but it 'makes anders happy'/he longs to feel wanted *and* needed#and also a way he gets out of ever being *actually* vulnerable (which I think he'd had to be with varric for example if he Went There )#'you want the hawke who's in your head so badly and I kind of wish I were that hawke too. so let's be collaborateurs with that fantasy'#(and then maybe if I do it right every time you'll finally be happy hawke says in his heart looking at this leandra-anders phantom form)#(and echoing stuff in varric's relationship to hawke but I think the important distinction there is that varric -- is a craftsman haha#he KNOWS when he's lying/making up a story he KNOWS the difference between what is and what he wishes the world was#(I think there's some deep longing there to not know; for it to blend together or have the power to change things. but he always knows)#which ironically leaves him in a better position to actually see and understand hawke the person#even as he is creating hawke the literary figure. almost to protect him in some ways? god da2 is so full of STUFF!!! I adore it)#and of course anders gets so disillusioned with hawke's inertia and lack of action (you all but married this man anders!#you should know this about him he's already carrying the whole family and city on his shoulders if you add a gram more he'll collapse!)#and hawke feels so desperately hurt that the promise anders seemed to make that he'd be enough -- that he could fix things for him --#('I'm the one bright light in kirkwall and that apparently doesn't count for shit so I'm just slowly turning to ash for you')#turned out to be untrue. anyway. sad now. imagine them meeting like twenty years on what the fuck could you even say to each other then#(I can't imagine Hawke ever physically hurting anyone he loves so he just tells Anders to leave at the end of DA2. they COULD meet again
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i love u nekoma & karasuno i love you SO MUCH
#can you tell i just watched the dumpster battle movie#[deep breath] AHHHHHHGGGGHHFHFHFJJFJGKG#ALL THE INTERACTIONS WERE SO FUCKING CUTE šššš#baby kurooā¦ i forgot how much i adored kuroo oh my god. TEARS IN MY EYES#HES SO FUCKING LAME#he was an emotional wreck this movie. had me giggling#his ass wld NOT leave tsukki alone HELP#omg and bokuto yachi interaction <3#HINATA AND INUOKA I LOVE U SO MUCH#kenmaā¦. this truly was the kenhina movie nobody talk to me#and the mini scene of kuroo and daichi pointing at each other. I DIED!! I DIED!!!!#ourghhhhhh I LOVE THEM ALL SO DEARLY#also the detail of nishinoya moving out of the way when he saved the ball was great. loved that#SUGA šš HE WAS GOING INSANE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO DEARLY#okay tbh i didnt expect the match to end like that but itās fine. i was immediately distracted by the FEELS#ALSO OMG. GOSHIKI AND TENDOU WERE SO FUNNY LOL#AND AND NEKOMA THIRD YEARS ššš KUROO AND YAKU TEARING UP šš THEM HUGGING EACH OTHER#IM SOOOO ILL IM SO FUCKING ILL#also the kurodai hug and the kuroo thanking tsukki I FEAR I KEEP WINNING#did i mention the kuroken flashbacks. oh my god. they were so CUTE#BABY KUROO TALKING TO KENMAāS DAD AND HE WAS JUST SO SMALL AND ENTHUSIASTIC UGH š„¹š#wow. i need to die#wait also. giggles. the kenhina knife scene. 10/10 gayest shit in hq#ahhhh i LOVE THEM#NEKOMA SECOND YEARS TOO. FUKUNAGA U WILL ALWAYS BE FAMOUS TO ME#anyway u guys shouldve seen me. i was going insane. i was losing it every scene#OH AND THE CREDITS?? kuroshou I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE#āgotta take a pic to show mikaā this too is kuromikashou or whatever their ship name is#this was the kenhina movie first and the kuroo ship galore movie second /j#anyway i need to go lie down now goodbye
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
This week on "CJ needs to gush about DAO": Morrigan's dark ritual.
I adore Origins because depending on how serious you take roleplay, every decision you make is a thread that leads back to your origin, and in this case of the ritual, who you choose to romance can have a major impact on how you handle this choice.
For context, my canon run is with a female Tabris who romances Alistair and keeps him as a Grey Warden, and is close friends with Morrigan. It's more in character for my Tabris to reject Morrigan's ritual and not even bring it up to Alistair, which would result in her leaving him behind while she makes the ultimate sacrifice in killing the archdemon... however, agreeing to convince Alistair to do the ritual with Morrigan is the only choice in the entire game where I break roleplay because I'm selfish and weak and I want Tabris to live.
I have a lot of strong feelings about the ritual, like it hurts me. It makes me want to chew on furniture. I can talk about it until I can talk no more. I so badly want to be strong enough to remain in character and reject the ritual.
Let me explain: Tabris survives an origin that deals with sexual assault. She gets kidnapped on her wedding day, she watches the other kidnapped women and her husband get murdered, and then is too late to save Shianni from being assaulted... and Tabris carries that trauma with her throughout the entire game.
If the way to save her life is to ask the two most important people she cares about; one being her lover and the other being her best friend; who she knows hate each other, to have dubiously consensual sex in order to make a baby to absorb the old god soul... she's saying no. The last thing Tabris would ever do is put someone into a sexual situation where consent is at all dubious after what she saw happen to Shianni and nearly happened to herself. She'd rather die than force that upon Alistair and Morrigan.
That's what I mean when I say origin affects everything; I know some will side eye that with "Really? Your warden would rather die than let Alistair sleep with another woman? It's one time, and Alistair agrees to it, so no one needs to die?"
Let me be clear in saying this isn't a "Morrigan slept with my man" issue. Sure, that part's awkward and it sucks, but that's not even breaking water tension, let alone diving into the deep waters to the core of the issue.
For my Tabris, this is about betrayal, consent, and accepting fate.
The person offering Tabris this deal is someone she thought of as a trusted friend who has actually been lying to her the entire time. It doesn't matter what Morrigan's intentions are now or if she genuinely wants to save the wardens. She knew from the beginning why Flemeth sent her with them, she admits as much. She knew a warden would need to make the ultimate sacrifice and then leveraged that to get what she wants. Morrigan waited until the night before, when Alistair and the warden learn one of them has to die to defeat the archdemon, and took advantage of the high running emotions and possibly the fear of dying to make the warden agree to her ritual.
At least, that's how my Tabris interprets this confrontation. She feels betrayed by someone she came to love like a sister and went out of her way to help Morrigan with her mother upon learning what's in Flemeth's grimoire. And then that someone tells her no one needs to die, she just needs to convince Alistair to sleep with her... which is a huge fucking problem.
The Alistair and Tabris romance is slow; it took a long time for either of them to be comfortable with being emotionally vulnerable and trusting each other with basic intimacy, let alone sex. Tabris is mortified at the idea of putting Alistair in this situation. Not only would it feel like a betrayal on her part to ask that of him, but she knows the last thing Alistair ever wants to do is father a bastard who then goes on to grow up without him. How could she possibly ask him to do that?
Then you consider that ritual or no, there isn't a guarantee that they'll survive anyway. Say they do the ritual and Tabris dies anyway; she made Alistair sleep with Morrigan in order to save her and then she died anyway. Or if Alistair dies then Tabris gets to live with the fact that the last person Alistair was with was a woman he hates because she asked that of himā¦ and either way, Morrigan gets to walk away with what she wanted.
Tabris led the group, and she's accepted that if Riordan dies [which he does] then she'll be the one to make the sacrifice, even if it means breaking both hers and Alistair's heart.... except she doesn't because I'm a coward who doesn't want to lose her because my worldstate isn't good without her in it but I also refuse to lose Alistair so I just pretend it plays out differently in my head it's fine-
But... that's how I play Tabris and view the situation. My friend @pi-creates and I have discussed the dark ritual at length. While I play a Tabris who romances Alistair, Pi plays a Mahariel who romances Morrigan, so we have vastly different interpretations of the ritual itself and Morrigan's intentions.
Which yeah, it makes total sense that someone who romanced Morrigan with a different origin, and has the option to do the ritual with her rather than asking someone else to do it, wouldn't see this the way I do.
To quote Pi: "Playing as a male warden in the Morrigan romance makes the whole situation feel different, and maybe itās because sheās presenting it differently due to the emotional connection, but it feels more like sheās opening up about her initial instructions (that she had been given by Flemeth) and offering a solution to avoid the possibility of death. And for my Mahariel, the constant threat of sudden death has haunted him from the start ā he caught the blight and was ripped away from his clan (something he did not want to do in the slightest), got forced into a Grey Warden ritual that could kill him, was forced into a battle that could kill him, going on this whole quest that he never wanted but has now become responsible for regardless of his thoughts on the matterā¦ the dark ritual may be one of the few moments where he is presented with an option to decide if he wants to walk into certain death, or take actions of his own volition to stop it.
"The idea of the ritual still feels like a dodgy thing to do since the ultimate outcome is unknown at that point, heās taking Morrigan at her word that it will save the warden and that this child would be unharmed, just with an old god soul that she isnāt exactly clear on why she wants that and is determined to runaway immediately after the battle to secure it properly. It could be interpreted that itās purely a preservation thing, but Iām biased to wanting Morrigan's intentions to not be power based.
"But also, taking part in the ritual isnāt as outlandish for my warden since he and Morrigan have already been involved in an intimate relationship. Itās the future of the ritual that is scarier ā the idea of this old-god baby, and the idea of Morrigan insisting that sheās leaving afterwards when Mahariel and her have a loving relationship. Heās hurting, but he doesnāt want to die, he doesnāt want Alistair to die, he doesnāt want Morrigan to leave, he definitely doesnāt want pregnant Morrigan to leave on her ownā¦ itās complicated, but for completely different reasons."
And I find that fascinating. I want to know how other players approach this part of DAO, what origins they play, and who they romanced. Seriously, this is an invitation to anyone reading to share their thoughts.
What about a warden who doesn't even have Alistair in their party because they made Loghain a warden? Is there anyone out there who has Loghain do the ritual with Morrigan and why? What about male wardens who don't romance her? Do you choose to do it with her anyway, or do you ask Alistair or Loghain to do it? Do you tell Morrigan to fuck off with the ritual? Why? Who makes the ultimate sacrifice in that case? And what about Morrigan herself? How do you interpret her intentions/motivations? I want to know.
I'm telling you, this is a discussion that gets me excited, as most discussions about DAO do.
#dao#dragon age origins#alistair theirin#dao alistair#dao morrigan#da morrigan#tw: sa mention#long post#i love origins so much#every time i replay i end up on discord having this discussion with pi because it makes me *emotional*#and yes this is why i was looking up alistair's dialogue about a dead warden before#also want to clear up that while i am harsh on morrigan based on how my tabris feels i don't hate her or anything i love her#morrigan's one of my favorite characters and that's why the whole thing hurts like... tabris was happy for her to come along with them#since she still didn't know alistair well and felt more comfortable with another woman around even though she never felt threatened by him#and for them both to be her closest companions like.... it's a lot to take in#and its not like tabris is totally in the right here- she doesn't tell alistair it's an option when it could be argued that she should've#but like i said i've never actually turned down the ritual because i love my warden too much... i just close my eyes#and pretend there's an alternate solution where Alistair and Tabris do the ritual and they have the old god baby instead sksksks#that way no one has to sleep with someone they hate and alistair gets to be there to raise his child. it's fine everything's fine sksksk#i don't care if it doesn't work that way okay it's the only way this works out better for everyone... except maybe morrigan but still
49 notes
Ā·
View notes
Note
I would say youāre more of a Mr peanut butter type yeah
doggy doggy what now?
#sci speaks#i love mr peanutbutter.#i think i love especially that eventually people stopped liking him.#cute quirky doggy winds up being a JERK actually just like the rest of us.#i love him and i love that.#really need to rewatch bojack actually because i don't remember it very well but god do i remember Loving it.#i think it's probably the best adult animated series i've ever seen. just. like. i don't know. it's the kind of writing that i really love.#where all the characters are bad actually. and you think they might be outwardly put together but they're not.#bojack is a GREAT SHOW. depressing but great.#i can't even like recommend it to anybody i'm like. yeah. it'll depress you. sorry. but that's why i like it.#i like those kind of ugly sincere emotions that make me feel less alone for being an asshole sometimes.#not in a āhaha this character i like is an asshole so i can be an asshole tooā kind of a way but in a .#i shouldn't despise myself because this is just part of what it is to be human i guess. you'll mess up and make selfish choices.#we all have that same software and i don't know. makes me feel less alone. i love to see that nobody else has it put together either.#it's not just me floating in the world with no direction.#it do be why i hate people who point at a character and say āBAD ROLEMODEL!! why aren't they PERFECT??ā#get out shut up i hate you.#try living LIFE for five days maybe.
20 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i will say again and again how DELIGHTED i am that priya won. but i am also delighted that she and bowie made it to the finale together. about halfway through my initial watch of the season i just kinda went āoh it has to be them in the final two. it HAS to beā and for once in my life total drama agreed!! because it couldnāt be anyone else it HAD to be them!! and it was!!
#td spoilers#idek if this makes sense#im just overly emotional about the fact that priya won#because she was like the new courtney to me (and we all know how i feel about courtney)#and the WHOLE TIME i wanted her to win so badly while believing based on their past seasons fresh would never let her#and then they did!!!#ive never had a fav of mine win before!! never!! and the fact that the fav who trained her whole life for this won...#makes me emotional!!#god its unreal having a new season in 2023#i feel like im in middle school again#oh!! but also like bowie was such a strong competitor that he had to make it too!!#like i was SO worried that his fight with emma would get him eliminated which would have been AWFUL#but its such a fucking total drama thing to pull that it wouldnt have surprised me#but he didnt get out bc of emmas shitty relationship!! he stayed in!!#he stayed and he slayed lmao#no but yeah i just. really really appreciate how the final two were actually two of the strongest smartest and hardest working competitors#it felt FAIR in a way a lot of the td finales havent felt to me#like neither of them really relied on plot armor to get there#td bowie#td priya#im writing a whole essay in these tags
76 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
šøļø
#yeah so the problem is that ... i fuck things up :(((#i know that i mattered to him i felt that he cared and that i was important#like honestly it's one of the few times i've ever felt it#but then comes the fucking bpd and avpd insecurity#like if i just one time perceive that oh im annoying#then i just pull back and think am i crazy why could anyone not think im annoying#even if i got reassurance multiple times i was like still .. it was still so hard for me#and like with everything i write on here it makes it seem like i dont care or dont value etc etc#also like :(( im not too fragile to hear abt problems or troubles. i make it seem like its that way#but i WANT to be here and listen to the person i care for. it's not too much for me and idk with how emotionally intense i am#idk how to show that... and im too scared of expressing positive emotions bc i fear being ridiculed by the universe#and it all gets so wrong bc he never made me feel ashamed or stupid or too much#he made me feel the opposite!!!! it was me who made it seem like i didnt care it was me who pulled back#it's so sad and frustrating bc the entire time i kept thinking to myself dont ruin this dont ruin this#be aware of the avpd symptoms and stop them pls dont ruin this#and i tried but in hindsight and with more context clues from the other perspective..#i realized that what i felt wasnt shown... :(((#so i am upset bc im not 'losing' someone (romantically) who doesnt value or care for me#it's someone who i did matter to who did care for me and want me#who i was too scared too fearful to be brave and show him and let him#god.. i hate myself so much!!!#and i do hate myself bc of this. bc it has happened before#it happened now with the most important person to me#and it will happen again#and idk.. bc my brain is also so stupid bc#NOW i know. now im not scared anymore with that person. but it's too late :c#(like i thought i shouldve given space but then i get anxious and i pull away too much and idk how to find the balance)
8 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
i finished demon slayer back in like .. 2020? or whenever the manga finished, but i shld probably watch the anime
#kny spoilers#demon slayer spoilers#<- for tags#sanemi.. he looks so good! i love him.#i always liked rengoku nā sanemi the most. but i was a BIG shinobu fan when she fought douma#she was so badass. always was but especially then. it made me super emotional too seeing her backstory nā having inner monologue#at that time demon slayer was the only anime / manga iād ever cried to lol. everything about the ending arcs made me sad.#SANEMI AND GENYA ESPECIALLY OH MY GOD !!!#i will never fucking get over how sad i was reading through genyaās death#i really loved gyomei too but i feel like he is a very forgettable character#eternal happiness forever at the fact sanemi didnāt die though. i was so fucking happy when he was alive in the end#i ... didnāt really ship obanai and mitsuri but their end was cute.#i was really happy when douma got killed too. he was sexy but my girl was better and sexier and always will be.#AND HIS STUPID LAST LINE ABT SEEING SHINOBUāS BEAUTY !!!!!!!! I WILL SEND HIM TO HELL MY DAMN SELF !!!!!#AWAY FROM HER !!!#n e ways ...... demon slayer infect my brain again ..;;
9 notes
Ā·
View notes
Text
lazy scribbling of my baldur's gate 3 characters
#*emerges from 430 HOURS of life-changing playtime blearily like a lost and confused kitten*#i lost my interest in drawing bc everything is too sad & horrible right now. it was a luxury and privilege to lose myself in this instead#what follows will be my personal and trivial emotions about that#i'll do better proper drawings later. for me. they are both so very dear to me... deeply dear...unforgettable journeys of fate#truly have played like one possessed for the past few weeks. you have no idea. what do i do now. what do i do.#their personalities are so vivid to me though they mostly made the same choices. both intersex and they/them - canonically <3#i missed out on FOUR PARTY MEMBERS in my first playthrough due to not understanding anything whatsoever.#gloaming ended up with wyll and pavane romanced karlach and astarion. and ended up with the one i did NOT plan on. this wasnt the plan#one of the most fulfilling romance paths i've ever..i cant say more..it all got too immersive and now i have to just.. MOVE ON ??????????#live in THIS world where i can't gut imperialism personally and emerge alive from that?#without Long Resting? without my character requesting a kiss from their beloved after a tough day ??#without preparing my little spells? without channelling divinity from my death god to keep us all alive?#without dyeing my man's clothes fancy colours for him? without him Approving whenever i lie and double-cross our enemies#without sharing clothes with my ex? without choosing to eat the heavy food first so that the weight is easier on her Carrying Capacity?#without orchestrating ways for all of my friends to kill the abusers that ruined their lives for a decade or even 200 years?#without experiencing degrading horrors on a daily basis but in a cathartic way where we always make it back to our rooms at the inn#WITHOUT SPEAK WITH ANIMALS???????????#at least there's music. just like with persona 5 that will always be with me. always#like how p5 melodies take me back to those feelings. those rich and personal feelings.... BUT THIS WAS A WAY MORE NUTS EXPERIENCE#i thought i would hate it. i did at times. thought it would desensitise me to various things. it did. but there was so much more..it was...#Well anyway *continues my life* imagine if dnd was real..something to think about
28 notes
Ā·
View notes
Photo
this little quest chain was one of my favorites in ew because of the perspective it gave into the ancients, a very different one from what little we get from emet and hermes. thereās pretty ample proof that their society was not in any way perfect and was actually really deeply flawed to the core, but this is a look at people, individuals, and ones outside of the main bunch we talk to
put in a read more to spare your dashes
they go to speed up the aether dispersal of some creations (animals) that were killed and they call the deaths distressing and want to find a way to pay respects to the fallen and bring peace to their souls. at the wolās suggestion they gather flowers for the dead. and they say what amounts to a prayer over the bodies. itās so very very different from how hermes believes everyone feels and how hythlodaeus spoke of āreturning to the starā being beautiful (though even hythlodaeus said a brief prayer for the first boss in ktisis hyberboreia)
and yes, they still talk about life and death in terms of āpurposeā and this is no way refutes the callousness towards other lives weāve seen some of the ancients display in elpis, but my personal take is that it shows that some of them at least understood on some level that there were important things missing in their culture that they needed. even if they didnāt fully grasp why, they were searching for these missing pieces. in this case, a way to process grief and acknowledge the worth of a life, even a non-human life. and they also actively ask for the new ideas the wol presents and talk about incorporating them into their lives and duties
thereās also a ton of little side quests in elpis that involve one person asking you to find or check on another person, or to carry a message to them. thereās so many people who care about each other and are just absolutely godawful at expressing it in person and need the poor wol to act as an intermediary (this happens in present day as well but it was just every 5 seconds in elpis)
thereās one striking one where one person asks you to bring a second person a message about how that second personās concept was approved and succeeding (I forget the exact details) in the hopes that it would dissuade them from returning to the star. it didnāt dissuade them and the first person accepted that pretty calmly, but the thought was there. there was this hope that they could keep someone they cared about around longer even if the argument they tried to use to persuade them came back to that grim ideology about āpurposeā. they lacked the framework to think about it another way, but they still tried
itās definitely a stark contrast from the shade amaurotines we saw in shb (assuming for the sake of argument that they were accurate depictions and not biased by emet which is a big assumption), especially the ones who turned the topic of āshould we save the lives of others on the planet or just focus on ourselvesā into a casual debate topic as a pastime. there are really terrible ways of thinking about the world that have been ingrained into the population presumably from birth. thatās not something that can easily be changed. but it could be changed. the potential was there
at a societal level the ancient world was terrible in so many ways, and ultimately doomed if it couldnāt change, but at an individual level the people had so much potential and at least some of them were trying their best to make sense of the things their society denied them and adapt their lives
my personal takeaway from all this (which is just a headcanon aka an opinion and iām not trying to sell as canon), was that if their society could have been changed then the ancients had the potential to have produced people who could have faced meteion. iām leaving aside the questions of the timeframe and zodiark tempering everyone because thatās not my point. my point is that the ancients werenāt inherently unable to be who was needed to save their world. the density of their aether making them unable to interact with dynamis is highly symbolic of the flaws of their society, of course, but that shouldnāt have stopped them from talking to meteion, from showing compassion and understanding and hope in the face of despair
iām not trying to take any jabs about any charactersā decisions in the story because the actual situation they were in was extremely complicated (like hey zodiark tempering people!) and that would also miss my point. mostly iām just saying this makes the fate of their people even more depressing. they were an entire race of people who had all the potential that the sundered humans do despite being stuck in a shit society that happened to be shit in the exact way that made dealing with meteion and the final days a seemingly insurmountable task. their near-immortality and creation powers made it even harder for them to really understand the problem, but not impossible. they had the raw potential and lacked the tools to use it to save themselves. itās just really damned sad
#hello i just finished up elpis in my replay and i am big sad about it#panda gives us more time with some of their world but i don't wanna go into panda spoilers in this post#ffxiv#ffxivmp#mp#i mean emet is such an obvious example of this too#though in the complicated way that he was predisposed to not quite fit in and it made him cling even harder to the fallacy#i remember thinking that a big difference between emet and herms is emet had emotional support in the form of azem and hyth#but there's that short story that showed hermes had people who tried to support him#he just isolated himself#like cranky socially awkward introvert emet still managed to find the friendship he needed#which was great until he lost it and couldn't cope and doubled down on clinging desperately to all the wrong things#i would never excuse emet for what he became but god i feel awful for the man he once was#(still want to bully him tho)#this entire post is also the thesis for my fic series lol#like what if some of the ancients (hyth in hades) were shown the flaws in their world in a way they couldn't refute#and given a chance and the time needed to change#the reason i made the assumption wrt the shade amaurotines is because i thought of them as a game device#being used to show the player about amaurot and its culture#rather than a statement about emet
69 notes
Ā·
View notes