#Go fetch that ball
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I’ve seen a lot of werewolf Johnny, which is quite cute, but what about werewolf Daniel?
#But I love both#Like Im not trying to take the attention away from the one!#but I don’t want people to think I’m copying#but no one has talked about werewolf Daniel and its stuck in my mind is all😭#He’d be a cuddly guy#And alright. I want him to have ruts and bang Johnny in his werewolf form. THERE ARE YOU HAPPY#But then I so do love werewolf Johnny bc what is there other than catboys (which I still like him as👀)? A dogboy#Go fetch that ball#and I want him to have heats. okay i cant get my mind out of the gutter#I have a lot of thoughts kskskskks
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Ouais euh les pyramides la Crète tout ça (?)
(two kids… both lonely in their own ways…)
#I am going to create an AU that is so far-fetched#fuck it Mediterranean Bronze Age AU we ball#senet AU#both of these are referenced from Edward Okun#hunter x hunter#hxh#illustration#Minoan#Egyptian#sprinkling in a little bit of sun moon dynamic 😈😈#chimera ants#meruem#komugi#merukomu
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Interest Check: Isopuppy Plushies
Anyone interested in buying isopuppy plushies?
Either as a pattern or actual sewn-by-me toys. Because I have crocheted So Many Toys over my children, and I am thinking it's time to go back to sewing for awhile, but I should also stop rampantly making toys without homes to send them to. So. Casual interest check. I am absolutely making one for myself; this just determines if I should go through the effort of making an actual pattern so I can replicate the process.
#interest check#I like making things#then I run out of room for the things#the tragedy of the compulsive crafter#I have made Two Entire Blankets over this newborn and husband is very supportive#but I can see him eyeing our overfull blanket closet#and wondering when we will have so many blankets that he is inevitably smothered in his sleep#I would offer to sell crocheted blankets but they would be So Expensive#if you ever get a crocheted anything from someone#make sure to thank them profusely#because that is hours and hours of love#that is also why this isn't an offer for crocheted isopuppies#I could make a pattern for that easy#but oh boy would it take so much time compared to a sewn version#not looking for a cost prohibitive Seal Jerky here#just an adorable impulse-buyable pupper#I REALLY want to make little bean-filled ones that can curl up into baseball-sized balls for Playing Fetch#and a bigger version with suction cups on the legs so Good Boys can go up walls (or at least windows and bathroom mirrors)#but what I SHOULDN'T do is make a million hilarious versions that are going to collect dust#ADOPT AN ISOPUPPY TODAY#avatar the last airbender#atla#Salvage#Zuko#the amazin
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It was my pleasure to draw some Soft Five holding Mr. Pennycrumb when asked. Then I realised I don't usually give Five's clothes much colour and had an aneurysm, the unicorn bag Did Not want to behave itself and got redesigned 3 times. Annnd then I got carried away and drew 4 5's to better showcase the lil gremlin with his emotional support mongrel.
Loved every minute, would 10/10 do more platonic 5 centric requests
I have 2 more doodles planned to do some time, thank you work meetings. The gift that keeps on giving.
#tua#the umbrella academy#five hargreeves#Soft five#The unicorn bag fought me every step of the way#Oversized socks are my happy place#I tried doing THINGS with the composition of this piece for once look at me go!#Mr. Pennycrumb is absolutely chonky and it drives Five up the wall because He Is On An Exercise Plan God Dammit How#Viktor and Luther are defo the feeders#Diego tries to play fetch with Mr. Pennycrumb but the ball just hits him in the face so Diego keeps running to pick it up#How do even draw bags#Mr. Pennycrumb is both perfection and an unspecified breed; probably an unholy mix#He has no brain cells and Five utterly adores him#The feeling is mutual and Mr. Pennycrumb probably pees nervously on the siblings when Five leaves him for too long#Five will not acknowledge there is a problem#Luther's bed is probably ruined#Five is the sort of owner who knows exactly how many freckles Mr. Pennycrumb has and could tell you where they all are without looking
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yeah hey why does Gale have a squeaky ball in his tent setup and why doesn't he run after the ball if I just so happen to throw it????
#the AMOUNT of times i threw that damn ball hoping some kind of dialogue would pop up like 'hey! my ball!'#GO FETCH BOY I DO NOT CARE#bg3#gale dekarios#im sorry he's so dog coded to me i adore him and i choose to believe that's on purpose (i am maybe not sane tho so ya know)
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Sometimes the corgi gets to play with his beloved tennis balls, as a treat
#fetch has to be rationed because he will overdo it and keep going beyond what he should#but he loves fetch so much#and fetch with tennis balls is just 1000x better than any other toy#radar#corgi
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I just realized Apolo doesn't know my brothers name. He knows the difference between a ball, his bunny, his (now late) dog and frog (said frog had a backpack I think it's important you know that). I wonder what the hell he thinks i'm called...
#If you say where's your bunny he goes fetch it and if you ask for the ball he gets the ball#My brother is here and Apolo loves him#I said “where's Lucas? Go get him for me” and he is looking around like war is coming?!#Anyways i'm rambling gave myself the afternoon off hehe#Personal
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Played with the neighbor’s puppy because I was outside reading and she was crying and I’m a huge softie
+ 30 happy points
- 5 health
+ 8 bleeding damage
#IT’S OK IT’S NOT HER FAULT SHE’S AN EXCITED BABY WITH SHARP CLAWS AND SHE FORGOT HER PLAYTIME MANNERS#(or she needs to learn them. idk I don’t train her but she does respond to ‘no’)#I’m going to try and get a tug-type toy so we can both play instead of just chew/fetch items#ugh my little dog is SO spoiled and has a million toys that she picks and chooses to chew on#and this puppy has a ball she can’t pick up and a chew bone#(at least outside with her. idk what they may have inside the apt)#so I’m like. hm. what if I got you. ANOTHER TOY
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obviously since I have a new fixation I need to write regression fics for it soon !!!
i've been thinking a lot about Sissy as a caregiver <:O She would be really sweet and caring. she is one of the only family members I would trust with a little reader 😭 she'd be great with helping to keep ya out of trouble <333
or !!!! Johnny with a reader that pet regresses has my heart in a clutch hold
like i need to be able to curl up like a lil pup on Johnny's lap while he reads a book or sharpens his knife. or if we're outside on the porch maybe he's whittling and his lil pup is on the ground next to him, nuzzling at his leg. he keeps such a good eye on em !!!! <333
#dreamties rambles#i miss writing re fic sooooo much !!!!!#i REALLY wanna write some petre stuff soon too#my gf said we could go to the beach next weekend and we're gonna bring a ball and play fetch !!!!#very excited !!!!#sissy slaughter#johnny slaughter#oooh boy please dont make me regret adding “official” tags to this post...#please be a fandom thats chill and good with agere & petre stuff.....#sfw interaction only
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Unbothered, moisturized, in her lane
#thylacines can talk#asks#Man. I need to make a gijinka of her#Maybe get her more involved in the FaaF AU bc she's a nice good to offset the other 4's insanity and hostility to one another#I did have a brief idea of her being friendly with Flower and either Flower going to fetch her to invite her to a ball on behalf of their#father as they still do little things around the palace. OR they run off somewhere after heavy emotional turmoil and find themself at her#lake. Perhaps both. I'm love Unn
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oh i guess i really am a puppygirl, last night a friend essentially told me to go fetch (i.e. "get me this entire artist's discography") and i immediately spent the rest of my night complying like the good li'l hunting dog i guess i am
life is weird sometimes
#an unnamed puppygirl is one of my headmates and i feel like she exists because of a hypno session#the science of the brain is an enigma even to those who have studied psychology for years (hi)#also granted the music was also meant as payment for a thing but also damn i didn't need to be that immediate about it#like that legit had to just be a switch going off in my brain akin to “GO FETCH BALL”#anyway#a cool thing is coming that will help me immensely to get my name out there
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sending updates while dogsitting is funny, like
"here's how much your dog doesnt miss you"
#dogblr#eries in the back because shes cheating at playing fetch#why go up to where im throwing the ball if im gonna throw it that way
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free roaming outdoor dogs a la cats are not a good idea and are just asking for injuries and conflict but unfortunately i've only ever had great experiences growing up in a neighborhood with a handful of those dogs and i miss themmmmm
#there was this one huge golden named riley whod just lay in the road all day and make cars go around him#he'd find me and my sister and we'd fuck around all day with him#on halloween he'd follow us trick or treating#he was dumb as bricks and completely unbothered by either of our reactive ass gsd mixes we'd invite him in to hang play with them#and when he'd had enough he'd politely wait by the gate to be let out#there was also cocoa he was some kind of aussie mix#he stayed by his house mostly and people watched but he'd always come say hi and walk around this undeveloped lot ppl wore a trail into#he was also good with our reactive dog#there were three? yellow labs that would come around too.#one had giant balls and would walk around with a tennis ball looking for ppl to play fetch with#there was also a younger one i dont remember well and an ancient old girl who just liked being pet#i forgot to mention riley would also find my sister and i in the mornings to wait for the bus with us#when i was in highschool there was a husky for a few days id see in the mornings#he probably just got out on accident lol but he was nice too#i like to think im good at reading dog body language and respecting boundaries but i have zero fear of strange dogs ever#i've only ever been close to being bit once and it was as a mailman#a little pittie jumped a fence from its backyard when i started up to a porch and came right up to me barking and growling#literally on my hand like i felt teeth while it barked it just didnt bite#i just stood there and a few seconds later the owner came out and i very slowly and smoothly handed them their package#as this fucking dog told me to gtfo#that shook me up a bit lol i got very lucky#every other dog i met was lovely though#idk what the point of this post is i just have a soft spot for driveway dogs#do not let ur dog do this though same as outdoor cats
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Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.
At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown...?
Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!
#story idea#someone's about to be the best boyfriend to his new goth girlfriend he can possibly be#'is she going to stop being evil?' no but she's going to reign it in sometimes#and also she's evil but she has STANDARDS#beloathed and darling
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The dog I think of as My Dog was picked up from the shelter when I was about 16 and he was six months old. He was a cattle dog mix, which at the time was really uncommon in our area.
We were only getting a dog because my mom was worried about home invaders which was a bit insane as we were out in the country and we’d left our German Shepherd down in Arizona with my dad for complicated reasons.
I turned the corner and saw him. Instant connection. He was curled up dozing, all blue and white freckles with red ears and feeties. His clipboard said “SLY” in huge red letters. I called it softly and he opened his eyes, ears perking. He roused to sleepily amble toward me, lick my fingers, then go lay back down.
My mom joined me in dismay, seeing the love dripping off of me. She hadn’t wanted a puppy but it was clear which dog we were going home with.
Sly was a monstrous puppy. Fans of cattle dogs will be unsurprised to learn he was exceedingly clever, mischievous and Bored a Lot. It turned out his name hadn’t been Sly. It was Billy. But I think we all know why a huge red warning had been applied to his kennel. We named him Sly anyway.
My mom doesn’t remember threatening in earnest to bring him back but it happened. Sly loved to chew. He had no interest in fetch or most toys but he adored chewing. I lost headphones, backpack straps, and pillows to his voracious teething. We tried to dissuade him. He just learned to chew when we weren’t looking. Then one day, clever but not smart, he set his teeth to a plugged in cord and electrocuted himself. He was fine, just really startled!
Thus ended the chewing, forever.
He wouldn’t even pick up toys. He was fully convinced having things in his mouth was only a matter of time before they turned on him. He’d run after a ball at dog parks, grab it in the euphoria of the chase, then immediately spit it out.
He was still a lot of dog and my moms rumblings about his poor behavior led me to join 4H with him. My friend Lia was in with her spaniels so I had an in. We did twice weekly training in obedience and showmanship.
That was it. Sly transformed into the best dog. From a bored unmanageable puppy he became a partner, ready to work on whatever we needed to work on. He learned buckets of commands, eager to please. Sit, down, wait, stand, front, back up, shake, roll, heel. The only thing we could never convince him to do was speak. His bark was reserved for Danger.
We went to compete in the county fair together, entering obedience trials and dog show portions.
The instructions are clearly stated before obedience testing. A dog must stay sitting for two minutes when told to stay, and three minutes for laying down. If our dog broke we were not supposed to speak to reissue commands, simply wait quietly.
It was us in a line with five other dogs. He passed the sitting part just fine. The down one was longer and a wretched golden retriever broke. But then his trainer pulled out a ball and started trying to redirect him with it. The other dogs watched with interest but stayed down. Sly started up. He desperately wanted to herd the golden back into place.
With elbows off the ground he froze, realizing his mistake. His head whipped to me. In silence, I swept my arm down in the nonverbal command for down. He dropped obediently and watched me fixedly for the rest of the time. I think he could feel my disappointment.
We failed.
But the judge came up to us afterward as I was petting him and said, “I was so impressed your dog knows nonverbal commands, and that other dog was so distracting! Let’s retest with the next batch.”
I was thrilled and Sly was steadfast, staring unblinkly at me for the full three minutes with utter determination. He won blue ribbons in obedience and got later best in breed since there was no other cattle dogs.
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So my mom's birthday was this week and I flew down with Patches to visit her for a few days. Patches, while a verified hater of the airport, really loves my mom's place because there are so many more closets to explore and birds to watch and cobwebs to dust with her stupid little face.
My mom also goes to bed earlier than anyone I know, so for the evenings it was on me to monitor Patches' activity. And she's very good. She's 99% good. She's 1% "could use improvement" good and the 1%, which I'd forgotten about, is tomatoes.
Patches will leave most things alone. (And by "alone" I mean she'll absolutely bitch slap them onto the floor, but they will leave the ordeal with just as many or few surface punctures as they had before the encounter started.) Not tomatoes. Patches has it the fuck out for tomatoes.
So when I noticed her batting something around on the ground I realized that my mom had left a sole, roma tomato in the fruit basket on the counter and it was now experiencing the life cycle of a pingpong ball between Patches' paws.
I take it away from her, like a fucking evil woman, and now I'm like "okay actually, where do I hide this." See at home I have an anti-Patches cabinet, which is for things that have no business living in a cabinet but which WILL have business dying at Patches' hands if left accessible. And this is WEIRD to have such a cabinet but it's my own home.
I'm scanning my mother's cabinets going "is this weird here? can the tomato go in my mother's dish cabinet?" And I briefly consider sticking it in the fridge, as a normal location, but the audacity of altering this tomato's ripening process is an audacity I do not possess. So I go with cabinet. I go with the first eye-level cabinet, which is the coffee mug cabinet, which is perfect because the tomato will not be lost to cabinet purgatory there, since my mom opens it every morning for her coffee. I will simply tell her in the morning that the tomato is there.
Next morning. Seeing as my mother goes to bed at the butt-crack of dusk she ALSO gets up at the ass-crack of dawn. This means I trail down like 2 hours after her with my work laptop and Patches. This is also now her birthday. I'm sharing the sofa with her for a good 15 minutes when I think to myself I'd like some coffee, and I remember I put a tomato in the cabinet. I tell my mom as much. I put the tomato in her coffee mug cabinet.
And the look I get is one I can't really figure out on spot. But she says "Chrissy this is the best birthday present you could have given me" which is a very weird response to the already weird statement "Oh you probably saw, but I hid the tomato in the coffee mug cabinet because Patches has it out for tomatoes."
So I do not at all know how this makes for a good birthday gift. My mom tells me how a week or two ago, she came home unloading groceries. At the end of putting everything away she could not for the life of her find her phone. Absolutely nowhere. She pinged it from her iPad and it started singing. From the fridge. She opened her fridge. Her phone was in the fridge.
A couple days later she lost Ash's collar. Spent three days looking for it. Couldn't remember where she'd taken it off or what she did with it. Showed up in the grass when she remembered she took it off to let him play fetch in the lake.
And then this morning, her birthday morning, she came into the kitchen, made her pot of coffee, opened the cabinet to fetch her coffee mug, and found... tomato. Singular. Tomato in the cabinet. Tomato she had no memory of placing in a cabinet. Tomato she could not possibly fathom having a reason for being in the cabinet.
She was like Chrissy I cried. She was like this is it, time to send her to pasture. She's a harebrained old lady now and there is no coming back from this. She's the lady who accidentally puts tomatoes in the cabinet. Awake before God, standing in the kitchen, signing her life away over this tiny roma tomato. (Roma tomato with little cat vampire teeth marks in it).
I was like oh. No. I put it there. Because Patches was going to commit war crimes against it. I put it there because I did not stop to consider "Will finding a single tomato in the coffee mug cabinet somehow be the very specific thing that undoes my mother this morning?" I put it there out of careful consideration for the life of this tomato, and with no consideration for the extremely esoteric way that a tomato in the cabinet could be received like a horse head in the bed, Godfather style.
We made a salad with the tomato. Happy birthday Mom.
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