#Give Jim A Dog AU

[whumpsday]

Kane & Jim BBU AU #1: 100913

Kane & Jim AUs Masterlist / Next

content: bbu, pet whump, shock collar, broken dish trope

welcome to the Kane & Jim BBU AU! if you don't know what BBU is: in short, it's a shared pet whump universe a bunch of whump authors write in. more info here. as i feel it necessary to state up front to avoid confusion, everyone in this AU is human, no vampires.

@bbu-on-the-side BBU Community Days #3: Discipline

-

913 was a good enough pet.

He wasn't perfect, not by a long shot, but he was good at most of what he needed to do, his tasks. Cleaning wasn't hard. Neither was laundry, or dishes, or caring for plants.

Cooking was especially easy, that was 913's specialty. Not only that, but he enjoyed it, too. He didn't get to enjoy a lot of things at this place. Given it was his specialty, they would probably advertise him for that. Then he could cook every day for his owner and not have to worry about anything else.

However, while the chores came easy to him, the rest didn't. The pet stuff, the things everyone had to learn no matter what kind of pet they were. The positions, and how to talk all polite, that kind of shit. The respect crap, that was where he always messed up, and that was where he got his punishments. He wasn't trying to fuck up, it was just a lot to remember at once. He could never be a platonic.

913 rubbed at his collar. He hoped his owner would get him one without shocks. Even when it wasn't activated, the prongs dug into his neck all the time, and he hated it. Made him antsy.

But he didn't have time to worry about that right now. He grabbed his bucket to take to the other side of the room and continue his mopping.

"100913," Handler Schroeder called from behind as he stepped inside. 913 startled, dropping the water-filled bucket.

Fuck.

Handler Schroeder sighed, obviously irritated, which only made everything worse.

"I'm sorry, sir," 913 mumbled as the water spread over the floor. "Uh, you snuck up on me, so I just-"

913 cut himself off with a shriek as his collar activated, white-hot electricity arcing right into the side of his neck and setting his nerves alight. He fell to his knees, soaking his pants in the soapy water.

"Is that what you're going to do with your owner?" Handler Schroeder accused. "You mess up and blame it on them? Unbelievable. If that's the case, they'll return you right back here for refurbishing, you know. Maybe I should switch your program and make you a guard dog instead."

"I'm sorry, sir," 913 repeated, quieter this time, voice choked up with tears. His eyes bored down into the floor, too afraid to steal a glance at his handler. "Please- please- let me know how I can fix it. I wanna be better. Sir."

Handler Schroeder stomped over and grabbed him by the hair, rough fingers closing in his curls and yanking, forcing him to look up. "I will."

-

It had been a month since 913 got bought, and he was okay.

Master de Sang was miles better than the facility, it wasn't even close. Things were fine here. 913 had his own room, and he spent most of his time looking after the estate. Master liked the meals he cooked, the very thing he'd bought him for. It was fine.

It wasn't like they told him it would be, though. Master wasn't the loving owner he'd been promised. Master was strict. Master had a temper.

He was still better, far better than the handlers. He wasn't always bad. When he was in a good mood, Master could even be nice to be around, better than being alone. Master would play cards with him, or let him watch TV with him. 913 loved the TV, giving him a view into what a person's life was like.

But Master never replaced his collar, and the prongs still dug into his neck every second of every hour of every day, even though Master didn't use the shocks. Yet.

And when Master was irritated, which was almost all of the time, 913 couldn't help but get nervous.

Today was a good day so far, at least. He stole a moment to stand in front of the kitchen window, to feel the sun on his skin. He couldn't remember what it was like to be outside, but he knows he must have been outside at some point. Before. He wonders if the sun feels different when it's not filtered through the glass.

913 let himself have just a moment to bask in its warmth before he got back to cleaning up lunch, the water running over his wrist having no effect on the barcode and number permanently etched into his skin.

As he washed the dishes, he couldn't help but wince as he heard Master stomping around upstairs. He only did that when he was upset, and when he was upset...

He tried to shake it off. Master was just on the phone. That was all.

Master came downstairs just as 913 was finishing drying everything. "Welcome back, Master!" he said, chipper and friendly despite the dread building itself inside him.

Master just scowled at him, as though the greeting had made everything worse. 913 wanted to pull his hair out and scream. He wished he'd gotten a little training in what the platonics do, complex conversations with their owners besides the basic respect and obedience. Maybe he could help Master if he did. But better a domestic than either of the other two.

"Hi," Master said flatly. He leaned against the counter, tapping his fingers against it restlessly.

"Can I get you anything?" 913 asked.

"We just had lunch," Master pointed out. He wasn't looking at 913, but he wasn't sure if that was good or bad. He was staring off into space like he always did when he had family troubles.

He remembered talking to one of the platonics once back in training, 418512. 512 was talking about how they were trained to sometimes be a little more casual, something that might sometimes be interpreted as disrespect. How if they stayed fully respectful all the time, it could come off as cold. Maybe that was why Master was irritated with him.

913 was pretty sure he knew what Master was upset about. It was a risk, but he decided to go for it. He made his voice as soft and sympathetic as he could.

"Is it your father, Master?" he asked quietly.

The slap rang so hard across 913's face that his ears rang. He dropped the mug he was holding, the ceramic shattering against the floor.

Master grabbed 913 by the chin as pain bloomed over his cheek. "Don't you fucking talk about my father. Don't even mention him. Got it?"

"Yes, Master," 913 squeaked, trembling in his grip.

Master threw him to the floor over the jagged pieces. "Clean this up."

He stayed down, not moving from where he was tossed even as the edges cut into his palms. "Yes, Master."

913 stayed completely still until Master left in a huff. Once he could hear the sound of his footsteps fade away, he began picking shards out of his skin, failing not to cry.

-

expect two more of these :)

taglist in reblog

[bruciemilf]

MORE I NEED MORE OF BATGORDON WITNESS PROTECTION AU

Bruce being so eerily quiet. He moves around like he's never been there and it creeps Jim the fuck out. In the course of one week, he also made a lengthy list of Bruce's peculiar but strangely endearing quirks?

Firstly, he doesn't kill bugs. Even spiders. Jim tried to and Bruce threw a tantrum of monstrous proportions (Bruce raised his voice a little bit and felt guilty for 2 hours bc he's still shaken by how mean he was to Alfred)

Bruce doesn't waste food; If they're eating pasta he'd eat the leftover sauce with a piece of broken, fluffy bread. No crust, ever. Tomato looks cute on his pink lips.

Bruce journals everywhere; On his napkins, on his skin, right on his wrist or legs. Small thoughts, big thoughts, -- Jim guesses, at least. He never wants to show Gordon anything.

(Bruce writing like, "Jim does not like sweets. That is sad. Will darkness finally devour me, or have I gotten too bitter?")

Give me Jim who talks abt Bruce like dog owners talking abt the mutt they saved from the pound, or a grumpy husband talking about their spouse, " Well, can't complain. I knew what I was getting myself into.".

He really didn't.

But oof. The Sexual Tension.

The Batman equipment Is still in the cave, and Bruce is constantly stressing the police officers crawling around will find it. Every night he tries to sneak off, and every night he's almost successful.

Because at first? Jim couldn't care less. " Do your thing, man. Go give some kid bad dreams or whatever it is that you do."

But the longer they're around eachother, the closer their connection is. Jim doesn't consider himself a possessive or controlling man. But when Bruce tries to tip toe his way out of his, -- their apartment? He has to speak up.

Except Bruce won't just roll over belly up and pliant. No, he pushes and avoids and bumps shoulders with him, but Jim won't have it,

Grabbing Bruce by that diamond sharp jaw and more or less slamming him back into the couch, " sit the fuck down and listen to me when I'm talking, boy."

Bruce goes ruby red. We all know he's a sucker for it

[henrysglock]

care to drop some Henry headcanons?

Hoo boy okay :3

Pets

I don't think canonverse/canon-adjacent Henry would be a pet guy in general. I like writing him as keeping spiders, but my main drive behind that is "he has no friends, and he's collecting ones that are low maintenance" rather than "he likes having pets". Especially re: his living situations in a canon setting, I think he would view anything more than spider jars to be a liability—not to mention the whole "oh, the pet is afraid of me now because of XYZ supernatual reasons" thing. It would be very isolating in that regard, and would probably do more harm than good.

However. In non-canonverse AUs, or canon-adjacent AUs where his contact with the supernatural is minimal (by comparison to canon), I think Henry would be a dog person.

If there's one thing that every version of Henry craves, it's affection. He's always looking for love, and it leads him into situations that any other rational person would deem toxic and dangerous. He's also highly anxious, whether it presents as outward neuroticism or emotional shutdowns.

What better solution than a big, fluffy, dopey dog that will always be happy to see him? One that can just lay on his lap and be petted until he feels better? One that could be trained as a guard dog support dog? Yes. I think so.

I could see Henry having a golden retriever, a St. Bernard, a Great Pyrenees, or even a particularly laid-back German Shepard. He'd probably give it a human name, too, and he'd probably talk to it like he's having a real person-to-person conversation.

If given the opportunity, he'd be a horse guy, too. They just get each other. His horse spooks at a leaf, and he's there like...Yeah, man. Me too. He's the "if my horse kills me, it was my fault" type. He would ride english style, and he would absolutely (silently) judge someone like, maybe, Jim Hopper for being a western saddle guy. They have vaguely homoerotic beef, similar to figure skaters and hockey players.

2. Clothes

Henry seems like the type to always be ridiculously behind the times until someone close to him drags him into modern clothes (kicking and screaming). He's the guy who was dressed "proper" as a kid and grew up to be a man who feels naked without a sweater of some kind. He loves summer because of all the sunlight and warmth, but he feels weirdly exposed in just a cotton t-shirt and slacks. That man would put on a t-shirt and then stare in his long mirror like [Joyce voice] she has nipples....and then he would put on a second top of some kind. Yes, it's 90ºF. Yes, he's wearing a cardigan. Don't judge him. He feels naked without it.

Don't even talk to him about shorts, either, unless he's a) inside his house or b) doing some outdoor activity that involves water.

He would absolutely be the guy who always wears a shirt at the beach/pool. That is, if you could manage to drag him out to the beach/pool.

I also feel like he's the kind of guy who always wears socks. Like. Y'know how some autists hate socks and others can't go without wearing socks? Yeah. He's the latter. But they're all just the plain white crew socks (until someone he knows buys him anything more "fun"). It's not that he doesn't like fun socks, it's just simpler if they all match each other.

That said, he also feels like the kind of guy to have house slippers. There are shoes, which stay in the garage, and then there are the ✨ House Slippers ✨. They're a staple in the winter. Socks+slippers combo outsold.

Speaking of winter: He likes some aspects of winter, like the fresh snow and the ice storms that make the trees clink like wind chimes. However. He hates how dark it is, how early it gets dark, and how damp it is. And if all that brings back bad memories, that's for him to know and no one ever to find out.

3. Lifestyle

Henry has a sleep schedule. He swears he does. It's just, y'know. 7pm to 3am, and then 4am to 7am. The man has dinner and immediately conks out. He's so tired. Don't judge him. His sleep schedule does get better relative to the sliding scale of his mental health. Happy Henry? 10pm-6:30am. Struggling Henry? See the first set of times. He's coping.

Henry is also the type of guy to run himself into the ground when he's sick, and (for obvious reasons) he hates going to the doctor. He will simply suffer with the flu for weeks rather than go get Tamiflu from Urgent Care. He once broke a bone in his hand and tried to convince everyone he knew that he could "heal it by himself". He did exactly that, but everyone was side-eyeing him the whole time.

He gets his vaccines, though. He sucks it up for the greater good, even if he's scurrying around the pharmacy like a prey animal being stalked the entire time.

He hates conservatives and everything they stand for. He has never once voted republican. That doesn't mean he likes the democratic party, but he also understands the concept of a lesser evil.

Henry loves horror video games like Resident Evil, Silent Hill, etc. even if he's curled up in a ball on his couch with a blanket pulled all the way up to his nose the entire time. He swears they're fun, and he swears he's enjoying himself, but he does flinch comically if anyone/anything breaks his concentration.

Henry has zero marks on his driving record. This does not necessarily mean he's a good driver, it just means he has a knack for spotting cops. He will absolutely go 50 mph in a 25 mph school zone as long as there aren't cops around. He pushes triple digits on the interstate—that is, until someone drives like an ass. And then he starts being a petty driver. But like...hey. They had it coming. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes, asshole.

2010 Henry Creel would drive a Prius. He would never say it out loud, but he would be insufferable about it, internally. He judges people who drive diesel engines, especially the trucks that puff black smoke.

Henry Creel is the "Did the cops see it? No? Then it's legal." type of person in like 80% of cases. He's not "above" lashing out at people who treat his friends and family poorly, even if he wouldn't do the same on his own behalf. He's not going to report shoplifting. So on and so forth.

He's a coffee person, but mainly just in the way of sweet treats. He's not a huge fan of tea (he came around on boba tea, but only just).

He's only had pecan pie once, with his epi pen ready and a friend there to drive him to the ER. It's his favorite, now, and he sighs wistfully about it whenever he passes a bakery in the fall like it's a forbidden lover. His second favorite is strawberry rhubarb, and he only realized he liked it once he moved to Indiana and tried the homemade kind. He prefers sweet potato pie to pumpkin pie at thanksgiving, but he won't say no to pumpkin pie either.

He prefers creamy soups to broth soups, but he will absolutely fuck up a bowl of chicken noodle or vegetable barley soup. He's a soup enjoyer. An enthusiast, even. Henry's never met a soup he didn't like.

I think I'll leave it here for now :3

[thisapplepielife]

Secret Santa

Written for the Second Annual Spicy Six Fanworks Challenge hosted by @thefreakandthehair.

Prompt: Office Party | Word Count: 6025 | Rating: E | CW: Explicit Sexual Content, 18+ Only | Tags: Steddie, Steve POV, The Office AU, Office Setting, Semi-Public Sex, Sex Toys, Bathroom Sex, Mutual Assisted Masturbation, Holiday Party, Secret Santa, Background Jancy, Secret Relationship, Platonic Stobin, Platonic Hellcheer, Eddie & Gareth Friendship

Can also be read right here on Ao3.

This definitely has vibes borrowed from The Office. If you're familiar with that, you can picture Steve's desk as in the same location as Jim's.

Steve slumps behind his computer monitor at his desk, trying to make himself as small as possible. It's days like today that he really wishes their office had private cubicles instead of an open floor plan, because that'd actually give him somewhere to hide. As it is, with all of them out in the open, it means he's a sitting duck. No flimsy temporary wall to crouch down behind, no nothing at all between him and the horror that is lurking on the other side of the room.

And right now, he really wants somewhere to hide. But unless he wants to crawl under his desk, the room really doesn't offer much protection.

Honestly, he usually doesn't mind their setup at all. He likes the openness of it. He likes to see his coworkers all day. His friends. He likes to be able to talk, and yeah, to avoid work. He's nosy. He wants to see what insanity everyone else is up to every day. That always gives Robin and him things to gossip about later, and that's one of their favorite pastimes. He can look over at Robin behind the receptionist desk, and they can have long conversations with each other, using just their eyes. 

They can talk about a cute new girl (or guy, if Steve's the one looking) that's been hired. They can bitch about stupid policy changes. Or a co-worker being a fool. Anything, everything.

But not today. 

Today, Steve scoots down further in his chair, hoping that maybe he can make himself totally invisible, if he just wishes for it hard enough. 

Because right this minute, Nancy's on the party planning warpath, and he wants no part of it. Party planning isn't anything he's ever been good at, well, beyond hosting a few laidback keggers as a teen, he supposes. Those all went as expected. But office parties? No way. That fact should be obvious to all of them after they forced him onto the party planning committee back in August, and his choices just made them all clutch their pearls. 

Steve didn't know that even though there's a full list of silly, made-up holidays to choose from each month, apparently not all of those days are actually on the Nancy-approved list. Steve definitely didn't know that was an unspoken rule for the monthly morale party, so for August, he picked Work Like a Dog day, and convinced half of the office to show up in dog costumes. 

Nancy Wheeler didn't find it funny. At all.

That's okay, Steve thinks it was hilarious. 

If it wasn't actually an option for a party theme, then they shouldn't have put it on the goddamn list. 

And what the fuck does it matter, anyway? Honestly. The monthly staff party is just an excuse to have cake, punch, and thirty minutes longer for lunch. Nobody really wants to attend these office parties, anyway. Might as well make them a little more unpredictable, a little more fun.

The theme can't possibly matter. It's all bullshit. 

But now, here they are in December, and this is the annual holiday party they're talking about. Not a random monthly party. Oh no, this is the big one. The one that takes place after hours. 

And to Nancy, and the rest of the party planning committee, it matters. 

A lot.

So, Steve's hiding. Like a coward.

"You're such a coward," Steve hears from across his desk, a low, taunting hiss pointed in his direction. 

He doesn't look in the direction of the voice, because he's smart enough to not fuck this up with any sudden movements. He's aiming for invisible, after all, but he can't resist slowly raising his hand, flipping Eddie off in slow motion. 

Eddie laughs, so Steve knows the message landed, loud and clear, even if Steve never looked in his direction.

Fuck him for reading Steve's mind. Of course he's being a coward, but there's no reason to announce that fact. That's just rude.

Steve and Eddie share space, in their little group of desks. Steve sits on the end, and then there's two desks facing each other in front of him. Eddie is to his right, and it's really not so bad. Steve's had some weird fucking deskmates over the years, so much so, that having Eddie Munson at his side has been a breath of fresh air in comparison. A relief, even. Eddie's just loud, and messy.

Steve can handle loud and messy, even if Eddie's shit is apt to spill over onto Steve's desk most days, crowding him out of his own space. Steve can hold his client binder on his lap. That's no problem. Hell, he doesn't even get all that mad when Eddie gets too loud and gets them both disapproving looks. At least it's always fun while it's happening.

Gareth sits on the left, right across from Eddie, and right now he's slid down so far in his chair that he's practically under their desks, just like Steve. Smart kid, he's learning. 

Steve dares to glance over and see what's happening across the room. 

Nancy is leaning over Jonathan's desk, and Argyle is making faces behind her back. Nancy has eyes in the back of her head, so she definitely knows he's doing it, and Argyle is just asking for trouble. He's gonna get put on the party planning committee if he isn't careful. Which, Steve supposes, is a way better outcome than him getting recruited.

Nancy has her hand resting on Jonathan's shoulder as she talks to him, ignoring Argyle completely.

Steve isn't supposed to know that Jonathan and Nancy have been sneaking around the office, fucking in all the secluded corners of the warehouse, with far less stealth than they think they have. He doesn't blame them. He knows they don't want to go to HR and fill out the paperwork informing the company about their relationship.

Steve gets that. Because he also feels like it's none of the company's business who he fucks on his own time, and definitely wouldn't volunteer that information up willingly, either. None of them ever want to go deal with Murray for anything at all if they can help it. He asks far too many personal questions. It's always uncomfortable, and best to be avoided at all costs.

However, Steve thinks it's mighty funny that Nancy Wheeler, the rule-follower that she likes to pretend she is, is currently breaking them left and right. It honestly makes him like her even more.

And he does like her. Don't get him wrong, just not on party planning weeks. During those weeks, she's the enemy and must be wholly treated as such.

"Steve," Steve hears his name, a hushed whisper, and he turns to look at Robin sitting behind the reception desk.

He waves her off with a small hand movement. He needs to make sure Nancy has settled on haranguing Jonathan and Argyle before he dares to stick his neck out in the open.

Before Steve can say anything back to Robin, The Boss comes out of his office behind Steve's back, clapping his hands together for attention, and they all turn to look in his direction.

Bob Newby is kind of a goofball, and just a little bit doofy, but he's well-meaning. At least Steve's pretty sure he is. He doesn't seem to have a mean bone in his body. As far as bosses go, they could all do way worse.

"Hey there," Bob says, clapping his hands together again, "I told Nancy to make the holiday party this year a big one. A fun one. A special one. And to do that, Steve's gonna help her. Right, Steve?"

Well, Steve wants to strangle Bob, now. Well-meaning, his ass. He's not only mean, he's evil. He's a filthy traitor that Steve would feed to wolves given half a chance after this utter betrayal.

But Steve nods, because he's not actually gonna tell Bob no. It's not worth the pitiful face he'll get in return. Eddie is laughing, and if Steve gets the angle right, he's pretty sure he can kick Eddie in the shin under their desks without even looking.

He hits the mark and Eddie hisses at the blow, and Steve bites back a smile. Eddie had that coming, the asshole.

Then Steve has a better idea, a meaner idea, and he sits up straighter in his chair, and turns and looks right at Eddie, pointedly, "Yeah, and Eddie offered to help me!"

If looks could kill, he'd be dead, but Eddie gets what he deserves. If he wants to be a jerk, he can just help Steve out with planning this shitshow. 

Bob is pleased at this though, and announces, "Great! Just don't pick anything scary, guys. I hate scary." 

Steve grins, wide. That's a directive for Eddie, not him, and it amuses Steve greatly. 

"Got it. Yeti and Krampus are out," Eddie says, with fake sincerity. 

Chrissy squeals with delight that they are both actually willing to help with this party. Willing is definitely a stretch of the imagination, but Steve and Eddie both smile at her. She's sweet, and Steve knows Eddie will do anything she asks him to, because he's that wrapped around her little finger.

That's okay, Steve's just as wrapped around Robin's, if not more, so he can't really throw any stones in Eddie's direction about that.

Steve nods, and gives Chrissy a tight smile. They'll make this work. It looks like they have to, since they definitely lost this round of office politics.

Nancy is glaring in their direction, suspicious, "Well, fine. We'll just have to plan for every possible disaster with you two in charge."

"Hey! The dog party was a barking success," Steve yells at her, and she huffs and spins around away from him. Annoyed. 

He smiles, and looks over at Eddie, and he's smiling back. 

Maybe this won't be the end of the world after all.

Later, after the dust has settled, Steve leans on Robin's desk, looking down at her, disapproving. He's eating his lunch standing up at her desk, both of them sharing what they have, passing things back and forth. 

Looking across the office, Steve can see into the break room, and Eddie is sitting at the closest table to the windows with Chrissy, both of them digging around in his metal lunchbox. They can leave for lunch, and sometimes they do, but most of the time they all just pack lunches and hang around. Sometimes, they'll all chip in and do a group order, running out to pick up burgers or pizza, but that takes advance planning, and that isn't exactly Steve's strong suit. 

Eddie is digging around in his lunchbox, and Steve wonders what Eddie has packed in there today, pretzels, maybe a sand-

"Focus, dingus. I tried to warn you," Robin hisses, and his attention is drawn away from Eddie and his mystery lunch, when Robin taps her hand on the counter in front of him.

Steve turns to look back at her, glaring. She's his best friend, but right now, she's definitely the enemy as Bob's secretary. She could have stopped this if she'd wanted to, he's absolutely sure of it.

"You're on the party planning committee," he accuses, "and you have Bob's ear. Why didn't you make this go away for me?" 

She wrings her hands, "I tried! Bob liked your dog party!"

Well, Steve has to laugh at that. That's what he gets for being smartass, he supposes. He tried to poke Nancy with a stick so he'd never have to have a turn at party planning ever again, and inadvertently just ended up coming across as a fun party planner to Bob. 

Goddamnit. That was not the desired effect he'd been hoping for.

So, now he's stuck. And this is his own fault, it seems. But at least he took Eddie down with him. That's the silver-lining, for sure.

Steve will make it work. It's only a week of hell. He can survive a week.

"Trust me, we tried. None of us wanted you in charge again," Robin snaps.

"Hey!" Steve shouts back, offended, and she just laughs. 

"Seriously. Nancy has standards, expectations, and dog parties aren't part of the playbook."

Steve smiles, "Well, I guess I should be left off any committees from now on."

"No such luck," Robin snarks, "but Nancy, Chrissy, Barb and I will definitely make sure whatever you two try to plan isn't dog party levels of weird."

"Gee, thanks. If you want to micromanage it, why don't you just do it yourselves? Wouldn't that just be easier for everyone involved?"

Robin shrugs, "Just make Bob happy. It's Christmas."

"Yeah, yeah," and Steve glances back, looking for Eddie again, and now he's sitting there playing finger football with Gareth as Chrissy watches. Both of them flicking a paper triangle back and forth across the break room table, trying to hit field goals through each other's finger goal posts. 

That's about the extent of any sports that either one of them has ever played, Steve's pretty damn sure.

Gareth, the new kid, started a while back, and Eddie took to him immediately. Steve has tried not to be jealous. But it was hard. He still kind of wanted Eddie and his attention all to himself, as selfish as that sounds.

But he's had to learn to share, both Eddie and their desk space with Gareth, and he's watched as Eddie has tried hard to shape Gareth into a good salesman. 

Robin's desk phone rings, and she picks it up, and he takes that as his cue to walk away. He heads towards the break room, and leans in the doorway, watching them play.

"I've got winner," Chrissy says, "but you can take on the winner of that match, if you want."

Steve nods and smiles, and walks on in, sliding into the only remaining chair left at the table.

When four-thirty rolls around, Bob comes over and sends Steve and Eddie off to start planning this party they are now in charge of together. At least they get a half-hour of paid nonsense time, Steve guesses.

So, now they sit in the empty meeting room at the long table, and just look at each other.

Finally, Eddie breaks the silence.

"Okay, smart guy, what's your big plan this time? Cat party?" Eddie asks, raising an eyebrow, challenging Steve.

"Yep. Pussy party," Steve says, deadpan, and Eddie tosses his head back and laughs, hair flying. 

Work has definitely been more entertaining since Eddie Munson showed up last year, all long-hair and lackadaisical attitude. Eddie doesn't conform to any sort of standard expectations, won't, but he can sell like a motherfucker. He has a silvertongue that Steve only wishes he possessed. Steve can sell, too. But he has to lean heavily on being earnest. That's his angle. 

But it's not Eddie's. No, Eddie can just bullshit his way through sales with anyone on the fly, easily meeting his quota and walking away with a damn good commission check every payday, and that hardly seems fair. Steve's been here forever, but Eddie took to it so much quicker.

"Pussy hats for everyone, and the party favors? Pocket pussies," Eddie states, still exploring this party idea with a shit-eating grin, and it makes Steve giggle.

If only. 

Though, this still might be fun to plan together, even if that can't actually be the theme. Nancy would murder them both.

They better do something safe, like Secret Santa. Bob always likes that, and this is really for him more than it is the staff, Steve's pretty damn sure.

They can just go traditional, make everyone happy and save themselves a lot of grief. 

That doesn't mean they won't sit here and bullshit, like they are really talking this thing through in great detail.

"Secret Santa? That's the theme?" Robin asks later, clearly disappointed.

"Classic. Easy peasy," Steve says, leaning on the tall counter that runs around her desk. He's waiting for her to finish up so they can leave together. 

Tonight, they're all going to happy hour at Chili's. They do that from time to time. Most of the office meeting up after work to drink and let loose.

"Lazy, uninspired," she taunts, and he reaches out like he's going to flick her ear, but she dodges his hand, laughing. "Bob's gonna be disappointed in you."

"He won't. He'll love it," Steve says, and Robin knows it. She's just being difficult. "Will you make up the slips so we can draw names, or not?" he asks, trying to give her the eyes. They don't really work on her, not anymore. But he still tries.

"Fine, but this is not fun. I was expecting dog party levels of unhinged theming from you both. You disappoint me."

"You love me," Steve counters.

"Of course I do, dingus. Now leave me alone so I can finish up and we can get the fuck out of here."

He presses his hands together, bowing to her, just a little, and then heads back to his desk. Eddie is still on the phone, wheeling and dealing, like a pro. 

Making money, even after hours. 

Asshole. 

Gareth is sitting at their desks, watching Eddie with wide eyes. 

"He's good, right?" Steve asks, and Gareth nods. "It's okay if it's hard to make sales, especially at first. It's hard for all of us, except Eddie. But he's a freak."

Eddie hears him, and sticks his tongue out, not missing a beat of his phone call.

"You'll get better. I promise," Steve says, turning to look at Gareth.

Gareth nods again, and Steve smiles. Steve was probably not that much younger than him when he started working here, and it looks so young now, seeing it on Gareth. He never thought he'd still be here, all these years later. 

But he's made friends here, good friends. His best friend. If he never worked here, he'd never have met Robin, and that'd be a goddamn tragedy. 

And he met Eddie, so honestly, he doesn't have too many complaints.

Turns out, Nancy loves the Secret Santa theme, which Steve isn't surprised about. It's right up her alley. Normal, basic, a classic. No dog costumes to be found.

"What's the price limit?" she asks, holding her notepad in hand, and Steve looks at her. Is he supposed to decide that? He feels like that's a job for her, or maybe even Bob.

"Twenty-five dollars?" he offers, and she thinks about it for a minute, then nods, writing it in her notes, apparently agreeing with his assessment. 

Great.

"And, is it a traditional Secret Santa where we draw names, or a white elephant situation?"

"Um, traditional?" he hazards a guess and she nods, happy. Apparently that was the right answer, again. He's on a roll today. Hot damn. Maybe he needs to buy a lottery ticket.

Steve sits at the high top table at Chili's, sharing an Awesome Blossom with Robin and drinking his third margarita. Eddie didn't show up. Steve is pretty sure he said he was coming, but now Eddie, Gareth, Chrissy, Jeff and Goodie are all no-shows. 

That's okay. 

But he would have gone home instead of coming himself if he knew Eddie was bailing. Not that he isn't enjoying spending time with Robin and everyone else, he is, but still. 

He raises his finger, ordering one more drink. Robin's definitely gonna have to drive him home. 

The next morning, Nancy drops off a list of party vendors for him to call, and Steve pushes it towards Eddie. He's the one with phone magic.

And Steve's a little hungover. Eddie's not. 

Not to mention Steve's still a little mad at Eddie for deciding to skip happy hour without telling him. 

"Hey, don't be pushing your chores off on me," Eddie says, pushing it back across the desk in Steve's direction.

They both push on the paper, in a stalemate, wrinkling it under their fingers.

Steve gives him the eyes, "C'mon. You know you'll have better luck. We'll get an awesome cake, and a great meat and cheese plate if you call. You know it."

"Which is ironic, because if the little old ladies working could see me, and then see you, it'd be you they'd be falling over themselves to please," Eddie says.

Steve rolls his eyes. Little old ladies love Eddie, at least after they look past his clothes and hair. He's too charming for them to not love him. He's got a chivalry that is innate, and Steve doesn't have that at all. He likes to think he's nice, but he's not as charismatic. The Harrington Charm is a different beast than whatever Eddie has going on, that's for damn sure.

Eventually, Eddie takes the paper, and picks up the handset of his phone, and starts dialing the first number, and Steve just grins, pleased.

He listens, and tries to ignore the dull headache that's plagued him all morning.

When Eddie hangs up the phone, he looks at Steve, "Shoulda came to Poor Richard's with us, like you said you would, and then you wouldn't have a hangover from all that chain restaurant cheap well tequila."

Steve glowers at him. They've been over this fifty times. Nobody said they were going to Poor Richard's last night. It was Chili's, and the fact that everyone else showed up at Chili's except for Eddie and his friends, is all the proof Steve needs.

Eddie didn't listen, and they ended up at different bars. 

But Steve forgives him as he keeps making calls, and before long they have everything in order for next week's party.

And a week later, they all sit around in a circle of chairs like they're kindergarteners, which feels foolish. But Bob is clearly having fun, dressed in his full Santa suit, as he pulls the wrapped packages out of the bag and passes them around to their rightful owners.

It's fine. Lots of generic gift boxes. Hot cocoa samplers. Summer sausage and cheese gift sets. Blankets, mugs, candy. A foot bath. Just stuff. More things that nobody really needed, Steve's sure, but it makes Bob happy, so they all at least pretend to be excited about whatever they've gotten.

They all thank their Secret Santa, and it's all very normal. Boring. So boring. 

But Steve has a plan for later that he thinks won't be quite as boring as this has been.

The gifts all opened, Steve holds open the plastic trash bag as Eddie picks up the wrapping paper off the chairs, the floor. Tidying up while the rest of the committee goes and starts getting the bar set up.

Steve isn't sure how Bob swung it, but they actually get to serve alcohol this year. 

Jeff and Goodie volunteered to play bartender, and that's great with Steve. He was sure he'd get stuck doing it, with Eddie's help if he was lucky. But this is better. Way better. They'll be able to just enjoy themselves.

As soon as it's up and running, Steve and Eddie are first in line for a drink. Steve goes easy on them, but Eddie's trying to order things they definitely don't have the supplies for. The budget was limited and they decided to stick to the most popular basics. 

Goodie listens to Eddie lists off his third try at an elaborate drink order, and then just pours Eddie a Jack and Coke.

"Just what I wanted," Eddie says, picking it up with a snarky grin.

They're a few drinks in, and the music has been turned up, when Steve nods towards Eddie, ready to slip away during the confusion. Steve shakes a wrapped gift in his hand, and Eddie quirks an eyebrow, curious, and follows him out into the hallway. They ride the elevator up one floor in silence, and then Steve leads Eddie into the empty bathroom on the floor right above their office space.

They can hear the thumpa thumpa of the music down below, feel it vibrating beneath their feet. Gareth and Argyle have teamed up to play DJ, and Steve is sure Nancy hates the music choices. They definitely aren't playing classic Christmas tunes, that's for damn sure.

Steve pushes the wrapped gift into Eddie's chest, and Eddie sits his drink down on the sink.

"What is this?" Eddie asks, looking down at the gift in his hands. He wasn't expecting it, clearly.

"Well, I didn't draw your name for the official Secret Santa, but I still wanted you to have your party favor," Steve says, trying to keep a straight face. This is a ridiculous thing to do. Especially at work. "Open it."

He watches while Eddie tears off the wrapping paper, throwing it onto the bathroom floor, and then Eddie's looking down at the fleshlight he's holding in his hands. 

And he promptly blushes a deep crimson.

Holy shit. 

Steve had no idea that Eddie could blush. Maybe this wasn't a great idea. Maybe he's about to lose his job for sexual harassment at work. At Christmas, no less.

Then, Eddie laughs. Loud and amused, eyes lighting up.

"Well, there's a first time for everything, I guess," Eddie says, turning over the toy in his hands, walking into the open stall. Steve follows.

"Not a sex toy guy?" Steve asks, crowding a little closer to him.

"Not a pussy guy," Eddie answers, then laughs, "I thought you knew that, Steve."

Yeah, Steve knew that. But he pretends he didn't.

"Oh no, do they make pocket assholes? Maybe we could exchange it, get you what you really like," Steve teases.

And Eddie grins, dimples showing, as he presses the toy back into Steve's chest, and Steve takes it. 

"This one is just my favorite, and I thought you might like it," Steve says, looking Eddie right in the eye, standing nearly nose-to-nose in the cramped bathroom stall. 

And Eddie is looking back at him, with an expression Steve can't really read. It looks like he's maybe surprised Steve is cool. Which is crazy. Steve's cool. Steve's been fucking guys since he was in college, girls even earlier than that. He's not really all that fussed about it. Boys, girls, both at the same time, once. 

That was an interesting night, to be sure. Not one he expects to repeat anytime soon, but it's definitely an experience he's glad he had. 

Steve holds the toy in his hand, studying it carefully, and then he looks up into Eddie's eyes. 

"You wanna try it?" Steve asks, raising his eyebrows in question.

"Now?" Eddie asks, dropping his voice low, sounding shocked at this suggestion. 

Steve shrugs, and Eddie eventually nods, slowly. 

"Yeah. Yeah, let's do that," Eddie says, putting both of his hands on Steve's arms, squeezing.

"Are you sure you want to do this here? I was just kidding," Steve asks, even if he wasn't, not really. But he still wants to make sure this is something Eddie is actually interested in doing with him, here and now, and not something he's pushing onto him like a big, fucking creep.

Eddie nods and smiles, so Steve presses him back against the wall of the bathroom stall, Steve's palm firm on Eddie's shoulder. He hands the fleshlight back to Eddie, and digs a packet of lube out of his pocket, handing that over, too.

Steve reaches for Eddie belt, his zipper, and carefully, slowly, undoes his pants. Pulling them down over his ass, boxers going down with them, and then he's just looking. Staring. Wanting.

Eddie's already drizzled lube into the opening of the fake silicone pussy, so Steve takes it from him. Steve doesn't touch Eddie's dick, although it's straining, red and flushed at the tip, begging for Steve's undivided attention.

And as much as Steve wants to give it that attention, wants to drop to his knees, throw the toy aside and suck Eddie's dick, he doesn't.

Instead, Steve grips the pocket pussy in his hand, and angles it, lining it up as best he can. He nods at Eddie, and holds it steady as Eddie pushes into it. Unsure at first, but after a few test thrusts, Steve feels the pressure, the force, behind the snap of Eddie's hips with every thrust. And Steve thinks about what it'd be like if it was him Eddie was pushing his dick into, instead of this toy.

His own dick is hard, so fucking hard, just watching this happen. He can't tear his eyes away. He watches Eddie's dick go in and out.

Eddie groans, leaning forward and resting his forehead on Steve's shoulder, still moving his hips. Still fucking, still pushing his cock into the toy in Steve's hand. Again, and again. 

Steve can't see now, but he can feel it. Can hear it.

It's noisy and loud, making a filthy, wet, squelching sound that sounds even more scandalous as they're hidden away in a public bathroom. Like they might get caught any second, doing this devious thing together.

Eddie winds his arms around Steve's back, and holds on tight. The action brings them even closer together, which is making it harder for Steve to maneuver his hand and the toy between their bodies, but Steve will make it work. He keeps a good grip on the fleshlight, making sure Eddie can keep moving his hips, keep pushing his dick into it, over and over again, even as he leans his weight on Steve.

"That pussy feel good?" Steve whispers, pressing his face into Eddie's hair. He smells good, and Steve leans into him.

Eddie whimpers, and nods against Steve's shirt, and Steve twists his hand, just a little, and Eddie moans. 

"All pretty and pink, wet, begging for your cock," Steve whispers. "It's a pretty cock, you've got. You know that?"

He just yammering, and he's pretty sure Eddie isn't even listening. That's okay, Steve's happy to do the heavy lifting here. 

"I bet it feels good. All tight, hugging your dick the whole way down.. Are you pretending it's a girl?" Steve asks, then lowers his voice, right next to Eddie's ear, "Or are you pretending it's me?"

Eddie's hips stutter, and then he pushes harder against Steve's hand.

"Steve," Eddie breathes out, and Steve smiles.

"I'd bend right over for you," Steve says, "beg you to push your cock in me."

Steve can tell by the change in Eddie's breathing that he's getting close to coming. Goddamn. That's a pretty sight and sound.

Steve's own dick is straining in his pants, wanting.

"Would you come inside me?" Steve asks, and that's it. Eddie groans, and pushes his dick into the toy as far as he can, coming. Steve presses his face in Eddie's hair, kissing the side of his head.

Eddie pulls back from Steve's body, and then slides his dick out of the toy with a sloppy, wet sound, and they both laugh. Steve looks down at Eddie's heavy cock, spent and wet, and wants. Wants to put his mouth on Eddie, wants to lick him clean.

He thinks he will, but Eddie interrupts his thoughts.

"You want sloppy seconds?" Eddie asks, and Steve nearly comes in his pants as he nods. 

That's not something he had thought of, but he hands the toy to Eddie, and reaches for his own zipper. He pulls his neglected dick out, palms it, strokes it. It's so hard. Eddie's made him so fucking hard, so horny, he can't even think straight.

"Look at you, big boy," Eddie says, and he doesn't keep his hands to himself. He strokes Steve once, twice, and then helps guide him into the used toy.

It's still kind of warm inside, sloppy and wet with Eddie's come, and Steve feels like a deviant, but doesn't really give a fuck. Not really.

Because this is good.

So goddamn good.

Eddie presses his mouth to Steve's, and they kiss while Steve thrusts into the toy in Eddie's hand, and it's one of the dirtiest things he's ever done in his whole life.

Steve's just getting into a nice rhythm, when Eddie takes the toy away, and replaces it with his mouth. Goddamn, that's better. That's so much better.

Eddie pulls off, and looks up at him, "You taste like me."

Steve groans, letting his head fall back against the metal wall of the stall, closing his eyes as Eddie sucks his dick, then slides it back into the fleshlight, alternating. Dragging this out, extending it, and it's beyond anything he could have ever dreamed up.

He had a small idea, a basic one, and Eddie has taken that and crafted it into a fucking experience of a lifetime.

Steve tangles his hands in Eddie's hair, and looks down to meet Eddie's eyes, as he continues to work his cock, over and over. 

"You gonna come in my mouth or in the pussy?" Eddie asks, hand stroking Steve's dick lazily, looking up at him for an answer. He wants both. How can he choose?

But if he doesn't choose, he's gonna come in Eddie's hand. Still good, but a distant third among the options available. 

"Your mouth," Steve finally says.

"Good choice, Harrington," Eddie answers, and slides his mouth over Steve's dick again, and again, until Steve can't hold out any longer. 

He comes right against Eddie tongue, and Eddie pulls off, looks up at him, and swallows.

Merry Fucking Christmas to him. Jesus.

They straighten their clothes, try to smooth out all the wrinkles, and Eddie takes a gulp of his now watered down whiskey sitting on the bathroom counter, swishing it in his mouth, and spitting into the sink.

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Steve asks, holding the wet and freshly washed fleshlight in his hand.

"Take it home. Use it later and think of me," Eddie says, holding out the box Steve had wrapped it in. 

Steve puts it back, and takes the box from Eddie's hands.

He'll do just that.

Eddie pushes him against the bathroom door, and kisses him again, and this is the best night of Steve's life, he's pretty goddamn sure.

They ride the elevator down, and when they're back in their own office, Steve shoves the now unwrapped box into his desk drawer and follows Eddie back towards the rest of their partying co-workers.

Their friends.

Eddie starts bouncing on his feet, dancing with Chrissy and Steve smiles as he watches. Everybody seems to be having fun, and Steve decides this was a success. 

Later that night, long after the party had winded down, Steve crawls into bed at home, and curls into Eddie's side.

"Have fun tonight?" Steve asks, and Eddie runs his hand up and down Steve's arm.

"Yeah, I especially liked the part where my boyfriend acted like we've never fucked before," Eddie says, throwing his leg over Steve's hip. 

"Very funny."

Eddie laughs, "We're gonna have to file our relationship with HR sooner or later. I'm pretty sure my poker face is horrendous, and they're gonna figure it out."

Steve nods. He knows. Though, he's pretty fucking everyone in the office knows already, anyway. Gareth clocked them his first week, not realizing it was a secret. So, it's obvious. Eddie loves him, and Eddie can't hide that look on his face, not at all. It makes Steve so fucking happy that Eddie feels that way about him, like he loves him so much that he can't pretend he doesn't. 

That they love each other this much.

So, they're gonna have to fess up. That's okay, he doesn't actually give a shit. They aren't gonna fire him, and they definitely aren't gonna fire Eddie. He's unorthodox, but he brings in tons of cash and clients.

And they're just co-workers, there's nothing saying they can't be together. 

"I can't believe you wrapped your pocket pussy and dragged it to work," Eddie laughs, burying his nose in Steve's hair.

Steve grins.

"Surprised you, though?" Steve asks, turning his head, to smile at Eddie.

"Definitely surprised me," Eddie answers, grinning right back.

Notes: Nancy seem familiar? Yeah, she was definitely inspired by Angela from The Office, with that party planning committee vibe, lol. I needed someone to be that character, and Nancy seemed more likely than Robin or Chrissy. And the "prepare for every possible disaster" line is a Angela-ism, from the S2 ep, as told by Ryan. I like to think Dwight, or a Dwight-like character, was Steve's deskmate before Eddie.

And Nancy and Jonathan's whole secret (Dwight and Angela style) relationship random mention was added just so I could accurately tag secret relationship, but that it might slip past that I was also referring to Steve and Eddie, lol. Could you have known they were together before Steve did the sex toy thing? For sure. Was it more fun for me to imagine, just for a second, that he was just being very forward and inappropriate with co-worker Eddie who wasn't expecting it? Of course.

Work Like a Dog day is August 5th if you want to add to your calendar, lol.

Bob! ❤️ I think this might be the first time I've had a place to use him in a fic.

Chili's and Poor Richard's were both shout-outs to The Office, many thanks to them for lending me their set-up for this fic. As soon as I chose this prompt, The Office, was the first idea in my head.

And trying to pin down the exact year this is set in made my head hurt. It must be, like, 1999. Then fleshlights exist, but cell phones aren't glued to our hands quite yet. But pussy hats are much more modern. But then Awesome Blossoms are discontinued. I don't know. It's an alternate universe. Go with it. 🤣

Thanks for reading! ❤️

[rottenroyalebooks]

Love Drunk 0.4

Pairing: Eddie Munson x older sister!Harrington reader

Also includes: Steve Harrington x sister!reader (siblings)

AU: No Upside Down.

Genre: Angst, Fluff

Summary: Y/N Harrington left Hawkins with her boyfriend when she turned eighteen to follow her dreams of being a rock star. Three years later, she returns to Hawkins alone and scarred. Now, she has to repair her broken relationship with her younger brother while trying to prevent herself from falling for a cute metalhead who plays at the Hideout, where she works.

Warnings: Mentions of domestic violence.

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A/N: Please remember to like, comment, and reblog! It helps a lot! Don't be afraid to give some feedback! <3

Taglist: @witchwolflea (Open for all!)

Corroded Coffin's set was a half hour long, by the end of it I was busying myself cleaning the glasses left by customers and keeping an eye on my brother from my place at the bar.

Yes, he was old enough that he didn't need my protection anymore, but I knew what being in a bar underage was like and didn't want him dipping his toes in the wrong crowd.

Seeing the group he came with tonight, a bunch of young teens and some respectable-looking kids his own age, it seemed that they'd keep him out of trouble.

"We're Corroded Coffin, thank you and goodnight!" The bar cheered, but I could hear Dustin's voice over everything else going on, which made me chuckle as I started putting away the clean glasses.

Jim strolled over to me with a smile, stopping beside me as he leaned against the bar, "Don't you miss that? Your hometown cheering you on after you blew them away with your amazing vocals?"

I rolled my eyes, "It's not going to happen, Jim."

"But it'll be just like old times!"

"I haven't performed in three years. The only person who gets to hear me sing and play guitar is my dog. Besides, I left my guitar in California." I put the drying rag over my shoulder and crossed my arms turning to him.

It was Jim's turn to roll his eyes, "We have instruments in the back, Y/N, come one! Just one song, next Thursday, you've got me beggin' here!"

I pursed my lips; what could be the harm in performing one song? I doubted my presence in the bar would bring as many people in as Jim was claiming, but if he thought it would help him out, I was willing to give it a shot.

I breathed deeply, "Fine, you've worn me down. One song, Jim, ONE."

He nearly jumped for joy when I agreed, "I knew you'd come around, Harrington, I need to start advertising it." He turned on his heels and raced to the kitchen, where his office was hidden in the back corner.

Rolling my eyes, I turned back to begin cleaning behind the bar, only for my eyes to lock onto dark brown ones belonging to Eddie, who stood on the other side of the bar with a small smile on his face.

I rose an eyebrow and tossed the rag I was holding onto my shoulder, leaning forward against the bar with a small smirk of my own, "Hey there, Rockstar. What can I get you?"

I watched as his eyes widened, but his recovery was quick, "Just a Sprite, uh, yeah." He said awkwardly, running a hand through his long curly hair, "I'm only twenty, Jim would kill me."

I scoffed, grabbing a glass from under the table, "Please, you bring buisness, one drink isn't going to send me to jail. You just got off stage. You deserve a proper drink." I winked at him and started looking through the selection of liquor.

What would be a good drink to make for this guy?

"I don't want to get you in trouble." He said quickly, but I dismissed him.

"I've known Jim since I was sixteen. I'll just get a slap on the wrist. Relax, I'll make you a drink."

After the back and forth, he gave in, leaning forward as he watched me make his drink, "How long have you worked here? I've never seen you before."

"Tonight's my first day,"

"That'll do it." He joked and I slid his drink over to him. He looked at the drink and hesitated before looking up at me.

"It's a rum and coke, but if anyone asks, it's a coke." I winked at him again, leabinh firward to start shamelessly flirting, but in the corner of my eye, I noticed Steve rushing over to us with his eyes widened slightly.

"No no no–" He said quickly as he approached us, making me raise an eyebrow at his tense state. He pointed to Eddie, "No." Then he turned to point at me, "No." Finally, he threw both hands in the air, "Nope, I am putting an end to... whatever this is right now."

Eddie blinked while I was unbothered by his overdramatic tendencies, "What's the problem, man?"

"That–" he pointed to me, while looking at him, "Is off limits."

I smiled innocently, "Steve, why don't you introduce me to your friend?" I cocked my head to the side and watched as Eddie took a sip from the drink I made him.

Taking a deep breath, Steve reluctantly began to introduce me, "Eddie, this my sister. Y/N Harrington."

The sentence seemed to send a Shockwave through Eddie because the contents of his drink spewed from his mouth, droplets landing on the floor next to him as he turned to look at me. He glanced between the two of us and cleared his throat, placing the drink on the bar counter, "You have a sister?"

I chuckled, "He wishes he didn't, but alas, here I am."

Steve rolled his eyes, "I've never said that, but yes, Munson, I do have a sister. She's older."

"And better." I joked with a wink, making Eddie visibly flush, and Steve sent a glare.

"Not my friends." He snapped, pointing at me and I raised my full hands in surrender.

"Fine, fine. Have it your way, Stevie. I will be here, pretending I'm merely a background character in your heartwarming tale of self-growth and friendship." I turned away, sighing dramatically as I leaned against one of the support beams, cleaning a dirty glass in my hand.

Steve sighed, "I'm throwing an after-party thing for all of us at our house. Just thought I'd let you know."

"Keep them out of my room, Baxter isn't too keen on having guests."

Huffing, Steve grabbed Eddie by the sleeve of his leather jacket and pulled him over to the registers, away from me as I smirked.

I wasn't looking for a new relationship anyway, I had other matters to deal with before thinking about starting something new with someone else.

(❤️ ω ❤️)

The next day rolls around, and I sat in the doctor's office, kicking my feet as I waited for her to return.

She knocked on the door and strolled in with a big machine and a smile on her face, "Hello Y/N, now after your Physical that I did I noticed some healing bruises...may I ask where you got those?"

I took a deep breath, knowing that this conversation would've had to happen at some point during my stay in Hawkins, but I wish I could've settled down more before it did happen, "My ex-fiancé was physically abusive towards me. I packed my stuff and left him last week."

She pursed her lips, grabbing the clipboard and holding it to her, "Are you worried about him finding you after he learns the news?"

I shook my head quickly, "I don't plan on telling him at all; he doesn't have the right. As soon as I learned of it, I got out of there and came back here. I don't want to tell anyone else, so I plan on saving up and moving to Louisiana or something. Anywhere that has no ties to him or our past."

She tilted her head, beginning to prep the machine, "Is he from Hawkins, too?"

"Born and raised, just as I was."

"I will leave you with a card to call in the event that he decides to come back to try and find you," she grabbed a bottle of gel and gestured for me to lay back, "Lift your shirt."

I did as she asked, lifting my shirt, and she squeezed the cold gel and moved it around with the transducer, looking at the ultrasound machine and searching for the parasite that was placed into my body.

"I found the baby," she said as the heartbeat was heard from the speakers, knocking the wind out of me. I cursed under my breath and tilted my head to rest it on the bed, "You look about twelve weeks along and the baby looks healthy. We can schedule an appointment for your next ultrasound which will also be where we can find out the baby's gender, if you'd like."

I nodded slowly, "Yeah, that sounds great, doc." I gave her a tight-lipped smile and she nodded, grabbing a pamphlet and handing it to me.

"There's a long list of vitamins that you should be taking in there, you should be taking. Also, there's a support group for victims of domestic violence that meet every Monday if you need someone to talk to about all this."

Just like that, when a doctor confirmed it, I knew my journey was just beginning.

[letsgetrowdy43]

Ik Jack and sunny had the fight bc he slept with her friend. But is there ever another big fight bc he doesn’t give her privacy (maybe it stems from the whole pregnancy thing, and him finding it/making assumptions)??

Au Masterlist!!

I think to Sunny, both Jack and Luke are too overbearing.

They just wanna make sure that their sister is always safe, and always in the right hands but it ends up costing her a lot of life experiences that she missed out on because of their protectiveness.

She never got to party unless Luke was also attending, she had about two first dates her entire life (pre-Adam) that never ended up resulting in relationships, and so many other little things that her guard dogs of older brothers didn't allow her to live out.

She hated it, she felt babied all the time, and it annoyed her. She often bitches to Quinn, he tries to help but Luke and Jack do not let up ever. Jim and Ellen try to intervene but it never helps.

(my brain cannot think of an angst fight, but if you guys wanna come up with one I will gladly build off of it!)

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[possumsarenice]

Mutant Mashup HCs

Mutant Mashup AU by me and @sillyandquest

Simoni convinces Casey Jr. to play Minecraft. Home boy was so confused about everything at first. But now they do it on weekends regularly. Jr. has made statues for the future turtles in all the worlds he play in

All of the turtles love Jupiter Jim, even if Sanzio tries to deny it. Although only DaVinci and Blue are huge fans of Space Heroes. It’s their thing

Yoshi trained all the turtles, including the Rise kids. Lou (due to his mental state and Yoshi considering him a disgrace) wasn’t too involved with the training, but showed them all his movies so they all have picked up some things from those movies

Simoni has an electric based nippō

Purple and Sanzio are secretly running a bunch of cons in the hidden city

May (2012 April) managed to tame a kraang dog and the beginning of the apocalypse, so Casey Jr. grew up with a kraang dog. When he gets sent back, May manages to tame it again and it stays alive after the Rise kraang leave. So Casey Jr. gets his pet back :D

I imagine there’s plots that didn’t exist in either Rise or 2012 solely because characters now exist in the same world. (Example: The 2012 Purple Dragons somehow get into Big Mama’s debt, Meatsweats attacks Mr. Murakami because “nO ONe’s AlLOwEd To MAkE bETTeR FOod tHEn ME *crying baby auto tune*”, or Foot Recruit and Miwa/2012 Karai being girlbosses together, etc)

Of course we have Medic Blue, but I haven’t seen too much on the general fanon on who’s the medic in 2012. So my personal HC is that it’s Raph. Source: He literally gives Donnie a tourniquet in that one ep. Anyways Blue and Sanzio are ✨the medic duo✨ Yoshi is both the hardest on Blue because he’s afraid of him turning out like Lou, and joke with him the most because they’re both trolls and play around like that. Sanzio will absolutely kill bitch if they touch Purple’s shell without permission. The fact that’s so vulnerable compared to everyone else’s freaks him out a bit. Why is it so easy to break???

On a related note: Sanzio physically fights Purple the lest due to his Soft-Shell Privileges. Does Not stop him from verbal attacks at all, which they do the most out of everyone

Lou holds resentment to Yoshi for seemingly being unaffected by their mother leaving them. He also lost contact with Shredder before he gots too bad and is still a little in shock about his turn.

Baron Draxum created the ooze that mutated Yoshi and the 2012 turtles, so they all get the Draxum Clutch™️ as well.

Hueso went to Mr. Murakami‘s restaurant as per the turtles request, and now he’s a regular. Mr. Murakami knows he’s a skeleton but just casually accepts he’s serving to a bunch of creatures. As long as they behave he doesn’t mind

Casey Jr. was very close to his uncle Casey (2012) but doesn’t really know how to approach him in the present. He’s so different. At least the kraang dog is more or less the same.

Yoshi forbade all the turtles from going outside, but they all snuck out around the time Orange was 3-4ish. Lou know but has been letting them do it in a “haha don’t tell your dad/uncle or we’re all in trouble” move

[jimmy-j-james]

MASTERLIST/REQUESTS

- Second account, for rambles and headcanons, is @dj-slim-jim.

- My MasterList for all my COD works!! Only because I wanted to be more organized… You are free to request for any characters below.

- Also my request rules, which are to be followed if you plan to request anything from me.

REQUESTS: OPEN

REQUESTS RULES

- No NSFW/18+ work will be posted here

- No Feminine/Female readers (she/her/she/they), nor gender neutral readers (they/them). My focus is male readers.

- I will write angst (character death > breakups/cheating)

- I will write gore (As descriptive as wanted, with the addition of warnings)

- I will write polyamory, though I’m very picky on the relationships when it comes to such.

════════════════

DNI LIST

- DNI, feminine/female presenting (she/her)(she/they)

- DNI, blogs involving possible discriminatory terms in their bios and names. It makes me uncomfortable, and you will be blocked no matter the case.

- I’m hesitant on blogs without customization, it gives the impression they could be bots.

- DNI, antis, this is a safe place for everyone.

CAPTAIN JOHNATHON PRICE

- PARASITE (Venom!reader x Price)

- PAPA BEAR (M!reader x Price) +18

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LIEUTENANT SIMON ‘GHOST’ RILEY

- JITTERS (M!reader x Ghost)

- WHERE THE WILD THINGS GO (M!reader x Ghost)

- VENOM AU (Symbiote!reader x Ghost)

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SERGEANT JOHN ‘SOAP’ MACTAVISH

- REPLACEMENT (M!reader x Soap)

- IRREPLACEABLE (M!reader x Soap)

- VENOM AU (Symbiote!reader x Soap)

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SERGEANT KYLE ‘GAZ’ GARRICK

- KISS FOR LUCK (M!reader x Gaz)

- SMITTEN (M!reader x Gaz)

- HOUSE-HUSBAND (M!reader x Gaz)

- CAPTAIN SAVE A HOE (M!reader x Gaz)

- AMNESIA WAS HER NAME (M!reader x Gaz)

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SERGEANT GARY ‘ROACH’ SANDERSON

- BUG BOY (M!reader x Roach)

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COLONEL ALEJANDRO VARGAS

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SERGEANT MAJOR RODOLFO ‘RUDY’ PARRA

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COLONEL KÖNIG

- SWEET BOY (Werewolf!reader x König)

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KIM ‘HORANGI’ HONG-JIN

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VALERIA ‘EL SIN NOMBRE’ GARZA

- GUARD DOG (M!reader x Valeria) [Remastered]

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ALEX KELLER

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[toodrasticallydumb]

PONYO AU COME HERE MY BABIES

*ahEM* So. What occurred is—as you can maybe see—i was studying Studio Ghibli’s art style to draw lil baby adorable kiddos and may or may not have gotten carried away a bit.

I can explain.

I just love baby Walt and wanted to draw him more and then i was watching Ponyo and Ponyo has red/orange hair like Barbara’s and then one thing led to another and yeah it’s a whole au thing now.

Basically, Ponyo = Baby Barb, Sosuke = Weeny Walt, Fujimoto (Ponyo’s dad) = grown up Jim, Granmamare (Ponyo’s mom) = grown up Claire

Ponyo’s story (i’m gonna refer to as Barb in min) goes pretty much the same as in the movie: she’s a curious lil magical fish who wanders away from her overprotective father one day, excited to catch a glimpse at the infamous humans her father has warned her so much about on their motor boats, unfortunately she gets stuck in a tiny jar and gets swept up onto shore, being found and rescued by…a green human?

Baby Walt is a small youngling, abandoned when he was so small he had barely opened his eyes, or so his father, Vendel, tells the story. Without a proper mother and just a tiny whelp, Trollmarket’s leader (with his badly hidden soft heart) can’t help but end up adopting the small whelp. So baby Walt (as he is nicknamed because Waltolomew was FAR too long, Vendel.) is raised alongside his two much older big brothers, Blinky and Aaarrrgghh who watch over him when Vendel’s busy.

They take him on short, highly-supervised outings around Trollmarket and the beach shore during the night; the one rule? No head-butting anyone’s gronk-nuks. Okay, but also NO GOING IN THE SUN.

Vendel is incredibly acute about the rule and it was a long time of whinnying and complaining and pushing and puppy-dog eyes until he FINALLY let Walt go outside to the beach shore with Blinky and Aaarrrgghh. But Walt always knew his dad was so strict about the rule because if he ever touched the sun he’d burn himself and turn to stone.

Right?

One night, Walt is feeling a little down and Aaarrrgghh suggests bringing a teeny bucket to collect seashells in, except they get kinda get caught up in all the serious work and sunrise comes before they know it. The sun is peeking out past the horizon when Walt gets distracted by a strange glittering in the shallow water. Aaarrrgghh is busy convincing Blinky to let them bring all the shells for Vendel so Walt goes after the shiny item himself. He pads over and finds a jar…with a goldfish inside?

Trying to pull the little fishy out of the jar as gently as he can, he tugs and bites at the glass with his short tusks, before feeling a strange stinging across his body and giving a big shiver—

“HEY! KIDDO GET OUT OF THE WATER!” someone shouts from above and his head whirls around to see a human waving his arms at him and heading down the rocks to get to him.

“Blinky!” he yelps, frozen on the spot, but the troll hushes him with a finger and after an anxious beat of his heart he sees them scramble to run away from the human as it reaches the bank and goes after him. “BLINKY?!” Walt cries out, tears coming to his eyes but he’s quickly scooped up into the arms of the chubby human.

“Be careful, kid, the tides comin’ up, let’s get you out of here.”

“But my papa-” he croaks.

“We’ll find him, don’t worry little dude.”

The rest of the story unfolds similarly to the movie, except Walt is nonverbal for a long part of the time Barb is a fish in the bowl of water. Later though, Barb licks a wound from Walt’s human skin and becomes a human girl (mostly), the two wander around getting into small hijinks at the senior center and around town while being (horribly) babysat by Toby and Wine Aunt Nomura, all the while Barb and Walt get closer and fall in love ❤️

But then Baby Barb is snatched away by Jim and Weeny Walt is left trying to find his big brothers and get back to Trollmarket but keeps questioning if they’ll take him back now.

Soon enough Baby Barb girlbosses her way out of Jim’s hold and makes it back to her green friend, in the process LITERALLY BRINGING THE MOON CLOSER TO THE EARTH AND RAISING THE TIDE UP MOUNTAINS. But it’s all chill, they figure it out in the end lol

As if this post isn’t long enough: some hcs!!!

Barb thinks all humans turn green at night and is very Confused™️ when Toby and Nomura Don’t???

She also thinks all human children are as quiet as Weeny Walt and when they get stuck in school she is very shocked when kids start talking to Weeny Walt like nothing

Walt is VERY attached to Aaarrrgghh and very obvious about it, his favorite brother fr while his relationship w Blinky is more of a play fight of who can be the smartest little buttsnack to each other and impress papa

If it’s kinda confusing: basically changelings in this au change between troll and human when sunlight hits them or darkness/shadow does and since baby Walt didn’t go out in the sun he didn’t know (Vendel knew but was convinced it wouldn’t matter if his little baby knew either way)

Walt wears a moss gauntlet-type thing around his forearm as a sign that he was adopted and spoken for by someone other than his mother

Barb is kinda scared of the dark so Walt shows her cool stuff like fireflies and Walt is scared of the water (because rocks SINK) and Barb shows him cool stuff like big fish and swimming

Barb is the ONLY person Walt talks to during a majority of their time with Nomura and Toby, he is very nonverbal and Barb is VERY verbal so she has enough words to speak for them both

She drags him everywhere and he just lets it happen because of course he does

(when i post, I POST OKAY)

[tblsomedoodles]

I'm wondering how the established rivalries and such happened in the Imaginary Friends AU.

Can see the twins getting jealous when Mikey makes friends with Todd; that's their little brother, but, also....this guy is really nice???

And how would the conflict with the Purple Dragons go? It's not like April's gonna be calling Donnie to help with schoolwork.

I think the twins would get pretty jealous of Todd, or at least suspicious of him? Donnie more than Leo simply of how they're introduced to him (the "Repo Mantis" episode is a very Donnie and Mikey centric episode, and it would stay that way for this au. The biggest change being that Mikey keeps accidentally coercing Donnie into doing a lot of the cannon shenanigans b/c Donnie has little to no immunity to little brother puppy dog eyes lol. also that Hueso is freaking out in the background b/c one of his the twins is missing for three days! and the other one keeps just telling him "he's fine" and not explaining!) So Donnie is very adamant that there's something suspicious about Todd, Leo joins him b/c there is no way anyone can be this nice. In reality Donnie just wants an excuse to not like him b/c he was stealing his brotherly bonding time lol.

As for the Purple Dragons, i think that situation would be completely reworked for Donnie. He's still going to end up with a pretty big rivalry with the Purple Dragons, but i think the way he ends up getting that would be closer to if you crossed "Breaking Purple" with "The Purple Jacket".

Let me explain.

by this point, Donnie is only just started building stuff. Sure, he read every single technology based book in the library, and proceeded to continue that research via a borrowed library laptop. but before they ended up with Hueso, he didn't dare try much more than maybe dissemble something at the junk yard. Once he's comfortable at Hueso's, he starts taking things apart for the express purpose of seeing if he can put them back together. (sometimes he can, sometimes Hueso has to call a repair man and Donnie can watch them put it back together. it's a win-win in his book.) But beyond that and occasionally tinkering with the Jupiter Jim moon buggy they stole, he hasn't started buildign anything of his own yet.

Then one night, he's out on his own, (not exactly sure why yet, i'll get back to u) and he sees this group of kids at a playground building drones.

Donnie is absolutely fascinated.

He's never seen anyone build tech stuff before, not outside the repair dude and things on youtube. And they're people his own age! Building stuff!! and that stuff is purple!!! So he hides nearby and watches them work for a while, coming back several days in a row just to watch the progress. He's not entirely sure why the drones keep coming back broken, but he loves watching them get repaired.

After watching them for a while, he decides he wants to try to befriend them. Hueso keeps telling them both that they should try to make more friends, why can't these people be them?

So Donnie comes up with a plan.

He decides if he makes his own drone, one that's just as cool (if not cooler) than theirs, they would see he's cool and good with tech too and would want to befriend him as well.

Thus Shelldon is created.

for this AU, Shelldon is purely a drone, created via tech, and a hint of mystics (it was only incorporated so Donnie could communicate mentally with him, but it accidentally made the little dude sentient lol. Yes, Hueso is loosing his damn mind over this.)

So Donnie shows up to the Purple Dragons, visible for the first time, with a little Turtle shaped sentient Drone that he's holding to his chest.

(Purple Dragons think he's weird/creepy b/c he's just standing there letting his drone do all the talking for him.)

They let Donnie stay around, even give him a jacket and pretend to be his friend b/c they want to win that drone race and Shelldon is probably their best bet. But they can see how attached Donnie is to this Drone (if he's not showing Shelldon off, he has him held to his chest) so they know they can't just say "Hey, lets' race your drone in a really dangerous race that wrecks every drone that goes through it." They tried to steal it, but the tracker they put in the jacket keeps "malfunctioning" and leading them to a brick wall and not a home.

Eventually they decide to just ask him to 'borrow' Shelldon for the day. (Donnie only agrees b/c Shelldon himself said he was cool with it. "it's like a sleepover, dude. It will be cool.")

But Donnie's still very worried, so he follows them without beign noticed. (Shelldon might know he's there, but he's not snitching).

Donnie realizes what type of race this is after it starts, and tries to confront them/get Shelldon out of there but the Purple Dragons keep him from interfering.

At least they do until Shelldon gets hurt during the race (just a propeller gets broken and he ends up kinda spiraling to the ground, not getting any further injuries. easy to repair.)

And, well, lets put it this way. He is a very pissed off technokenetic (?) surrounded by a lot of high-grade drones. Shit is going down. (Yes, Donnie can be a little badass, as a treat : ) )

It is quite possible that Leo picked him and Shelldon up from this upon noticing his twin's fury, but yeah. This is how the Purple Dragons got on Donnie's shit list, and, as a bonus, how Shelldon came to be! (at least as far as i know rn.)

Thank yoU!

[dreamcrow]

skraelroc werewolf au

(give me an au and i'll give you five headcanons; thank you for the ask!)

we're going with "general canids" here because

bellroc is obviously a maned wolf (chrysocuon brachyurus) bc they likewise are 90% leg, have a magnificent ruff, and just generally give off an air of "you expect them to be giving off shoujo manga sparkles."

skrael is an arctic fox (vulpes lagopus) because literal years ago i sent a rp partner a picture of an arctic fox stealing an egg like "that's your boy!" and now. that boy is now my boy. egg-stealing trickster bastard but so cozy comfy in the cold (plus summertime gothmode) and soooo cute.

nari, of course, is a tanuki (nyctereutes viverrinus) because nobody remembers tanuki are technically canids AND ALSO while that's true of all three of these species, racoon dogs are more closely related to foxes than maned woofs. also also, per wikipedia: "they are reputed to be mischievous and jolly, masters of disguise and shapeshifting but somewhat gullible and absent-minded." hello.

fox!skrael showing up on the lake family doorstep because he loves causing problems. barbara coos! picks him up! jim come here look at this little man. i'm gonna have to start getting him the good food. do you think people would like him on instagram? jim, meanwhile—merlin's champion woofhunter…?—immediately calling arcadia animal control,

bellroc. gets. a king arthur squeaky toy. they deserve it.

…perhaps not the truest to the spirit of the prompt (wee crow was a vampire lad), but. bork bork. grrr. awoo!!

[batsarebetterthanpeople]

Ok, Dungeons and Dragons au because I can. And because a mutual asked for their main stats and now im thinking thoughts. They've all got the pirate background unless stated otherwise. I'm also only going to give Buttons a race but I imagine that porting them into D&D would make them elves and halflings and the like.

So there's like a few parties going on here. There's Ed's original Adventuring party which has since split up:

Ed: Warlock, fathomless pact, pirate background, Level 17, Str: 11 Dex: 14 Con: 15 Int: 20 Wis: 19 Cha: 20; strong focus in illusion spells, his patron, the Kraken has protected him at pivotal moments but overall their relationship is antagonistic.

Jack: Rogue, Swashbuckler archetype, level 17, Str: 13 Dex: 17 Con: 18 Int: 8 Wis: 15 Cha: 20, Whip is his main weapon and he's not like other swashbucklers tm

Anne: Rogue, Assassin archetype, Noble background (fight me about it), level 17, Str: 8; Dex: 20; Con: 14; Int: 14; Wis: 12; Cha: 17

Mary: Fighter, Champion because it's the best one, Level 17, Str: 20, Dex: 13, Con: 16, Int: 12, Wis: 15, Cha: 9

Fang: Ranger, Beastmaster archetype (I'm sorry from the perspective that it is the worst ranger subclass but yay puppy), Level 17, Str: 20, Dex: 11, Con: 15, Int: 13, Wis: 20, Cha: 13, used to have a dog but it died and it was Eds fault that it died. Now his animal companion is a goat. The goat drinks rum.

---

And then there's the revenge crew who is yet another group, they used standard array and get a racial +2/+1 for my convenience:

Jim: Rogue, Assassin archetype, probably some homebrew raised in a cult background that I can't believe they haven't put out yet, or maybe haunted one but that seems wrong, Level 5, Str: 8; Dex: 17; Con: 14; Int: 13; Wis: 13; Cha: 10.

Olu: Paladin, oath of devotion, pirate also seems wrong for him but idk; Level 5: Str: 14; Dex: 10; Con: 13; Int: 11; Wis: 12; Cha: 15, the oath is of devotion to his family which is Jim xoxo.

Lucius: Eloquence Bard, guild artisan background which lists scribes; Level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 12; Con: 10; Int: 15; Wis: 13; Cha: 17

Pete: Fighter, not sure what subclass open to suggestions, Level 5; Str: 16; Dex: 13; Con: 16; Int: 12; Wis: 10; Cha: 8

Frenchie: Artificer (I feel like a homebrew subclass or alchemist), Entertainer background, Level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 10; Con: 12; Int: 17; Wis: 13; Cha: 15

Wee John: Eldritch Knight fighter, level 5; Str: 17; Dex: 8; Con: 12; Int: 14; Wis: 10; Cha: 14; The DM is letting him take a bunch of evocation spells because the base rules for this subclass are dumb as fuck (i know the spells are school locked i just dont remember to which two schools) he will be able to cast fire ball by 13th level. Let Eldritch Knight and Arcane trickster take whatever spells they want 2k24 rogues don't need to be more invisible they do need to be able to cast identify.

Roach: life cleric, level 5; Str: 8; Dex: 13; Con: 15; Int: 12; Wis: 17; Cha: 10; his god is a homebrew deity who is the patron of all things that refuse to die and its holiest creature is the humble cockroach and once they entered the temple and the dm pulled up a gospel cover of I'm a Survivor by destiny's child for background music.

Buttons: Druid, Circle of the Moon, Hermit Background, Hexblood lineage, level 5; Str: 12; Dex: 11; Con: 14; Int: 13; Wis: 17; Cha: 8

Swede: Bard, College of Glamor (mostly because I'm still not convinced his name wasn't stolen by the fey), level 5; Str: 13; Dex: 12; Con: 16; Int: 8; Wis: 10; Cha: 16

Archie: Barbarian, zealot, same background as Jim but a different cult, level (whatever they're at by season 2); Str: 14; Dex: 13; Con: 17; Int: 8; Wis: 10; Cha: 13 (plus an ASI presumably which would go into strength); Archie and Ivan have the same Player that's why Ivan died. Very sad. Oh well there's other fighters.

---

Miscellaneous

Zheng: Bard, College of Eloquence or College of swords, Level 17; Str: 9; Dex: 20; Con: 14; Int: 17; Wis: 12; Cha: 20; alternatively? Hexblade Warlock (to parallel Ed) and Auntie is the sword. Same stats if true

Spanish Jackie: Mastermind Rogue, criminal background (it's like a pirate background but less boat oriented), Level 15; Str: 10; Dex: 18; Con: 13; Int: 20; Wis: 15; Cha: 18; retired adventurer who owns a bar that the party doesn't find out has levels until they fuck around and find out in her bar

Ivan: Fighter, Champion, Level 10; Str: 19; Dex: 10; Con: 16; Int: 10; Wis: 12; Cha: 13; player got board of playing a fighter and didn't really flesh him out :(

Izzy: Fighter, Champion, Soldier background (no water vehicle proficiency), Level 3 (he has not leveled up in 8 years, very sad); Str: 15 ; Dex: 14 ; Con: 6; Int: 8; Wis: 5; Cha: 6; I actually rolled this one up. 3d6 no rerolls, no dice box, and if it falls on the floor it's a one. Believe it or not this is after the +2/+1 to any stat. Anyway I'm an Izzy apologist now. Yes he did awful things but truly how can we blame the little guy when his charisma modifier is a -2 and his wisdom modifier is a -3. He had no idea what was going on and he couldn't talk his way out of a wet paper bag.

Stede: Barbarian, path of wild magic, Noble background, level 2 (wow, he's only been adventuring for a few weeks and he's already leveled up!); Str: 17; Dex: 8; Con: 15; Int: 16; Wis: 11; Cha: 10; I also rolled this stat array but this time 4d6 drop lowest. Also he's taking the lucky feat as his first feat. Whether that's at level one because he's human or at level 4 because he's something else is up to interpretation.

[whumpsday]

Word Find Tag

answering an open tag from @cryptidwritings !!

my words were sear, pour, jolt, and strain, but i could only find two of those, so i'm adding whisper and scream from the previous iteration. grabbing these all from different WIPs.

Sear in Return to Sender: A K&J x MMSS Fanfic:

When Lex and Ari returned downstairs, he was in the process of dragging himself to the other side of the kitchen, still searching for the tools he needed. He hunched himself up and started crawling backwards at the sight, like a terrified animal.

Strain in Astarion & The Cleric AU: Turn Undead #1 (BG3):

“Astarion.” The elf’s voice came understandably strained. He glanced back out the door. “He called you Pleaios.”

3 instances of Whisper in K&J x Catharsis: Kane & Luan:

The door opened fast, Kane’s wide, red eyes greeting him. “You would give me blood?” he asked in a hushed whisper, the blanket still wrapped around him.

Kane wailed, a cry of anguish so long and deep Luan thought it might never end. When it did, a shaking Kane wrapped his arms around himself. “I’ll be good, sir,” he whispered, eyes distant.

“I’m getting you out of here,” Luan whispered, taking bolt cutters to his shackles. Kane fell to the ground, letting out a muffled shriek as his yet-untouched back set ablaze.

Scream in Give the Little Man to the Dogs (Dungeon Meshi):

Their teeth did more than threaten. One went for his ear, its gaping maw so close to his face, and tore. Chilchuck screamed as blood burst from the wound, the warg chewing on his flesh and cartilage like a dog bone. Another chomped at his right ankle, the joint uttering a horrible crunch that somehow still failed to capture the agony of it. His boot came loose with it, snapped up in the warg’s fangs.

Scream in an untitled snippet i wrote of a future Kane & Jim present arc chapter:

Screaming and eyes wild, Kane ripped the fork from his back, the skin of his hand sizzling on contact, and plunged it directly into (SPOILERS)’s eye.

your next words are Tool, Elf, Blood, and Eyes.

open tag! whoever wants to participate can! just make your own post in this fashion after finding the words in your WIPs :)

[sijssjsbssjsnsnnskbskwns]

Byler (Mike Wheeler X Will Byers) X Sapphire Witch!Reader (this is just an idea for you, you can use it if you want!)

Summary: Season 1 through season 4…season 5

Important information you need to know about the idea…..

• You are fully corrupted by the DarkHold

• Your the main Villain of Stranger Things…There’s no Vecna…you killed him in season 1…but decided resurrect him…to help you…your using him tho..but he doesn’t know that.

• Your main Goal is to Rule the entire universe/Multiverse and you with not stop at nothing to protect Mike and Will…even if it means Sacrificing/killing people…

• The plot is…Stranger things 1 through Stranger things 4….Stranger things 5…to be continued.

• Your Created the upside down and its creatures the Demogorgans, Demo-Bats, Demo-Dogs and the mindflayer…the upside down is Dark blue instead of red.

• You have Scarlet witch powers but Dark blue…not red.

• It’s your destiny to destroy the world and the entire universe/Multiverse…you will not stop nothing to do that.

• you use the darkhold to help you gain power and…protect your boyfriends Mike wheeler and Will Byers…no matter the cost.

• it’s you and Vecna they have to try to stop…

• your introverted, sadistic, serious, Bad-Tempered, kind, etc

• Mostly everyone is scared of you…..

• your hands get more worse as you use the darkhold…and your skin gets even paler to…side effects from the darkhold

• y/n Maximoff is gone…it’s the Sapphire witch

• You hate being called y/n maximoff…you prefer Sapphire witch.

• your very intimidating…

• You could use this idea on Wattpad if you want to! or just here on tumblr.

• paraphernalia: The DarkHold

• Characters: Steve Harrington, Dustin Henderson, Mike Wheeler, Will Byers, Max Mayfield, Lucas Sinclair, Erica Sinclair, Nancy Wheeler, Jonathan Byers, Robin Buckley, Eddie Munson, Joyce Byers, Eleven, Jim Hopper, Billy Hargrove, y/n maximoff/Sapphire Witch….and the rest of the stranger things Characters.

(A/N: Hope this inspires you I give ideas to you if you need inspiration I have it!…and I made y/n au profiles so you know what y/n might look like…Anyway I hope you love this and it inspired you..If you wanna see more go see my other posts then go ahead…it’s recommended!…YOUR WELCOME :)

[beatleskinkmeme]

Ides of March-a-thon Master Post

Please check out these fics and leave a comment!

want me when i'm not there by @backbenttulips

Paul cheats on Linda with John and she's fucking furious about it. Give me a fic where she behaves in a normal way instead of reacting like a McLennon shipper or saying "that's nice honey" and accepting an unfair scenario where Paul can have a boyfriend but if she had one he'd go batshit. PLEASE lots of Paul making pathetic excuses ("I said I wouldn't have other women! It was only blowjobs!") and her being the boss she is. PERSECUTE THAT MAN.

The Rockingham Club Mystery by WordsofLove42

Paul/Robert, Paul reporting to Robert about his time with another man (Robert had been his only male partner up to then) and telling him all the things that were similar and different about the experience. Maybe Robert feels a bit smug and maybe also a bit inspired?

Silly Girl by @bluewater9

John and Paul's relationship as told through Martha's perspective :3 Yes I know she's a dog but this is fiction so who cares.

I Can't Tell You But I know it's Mine by @aquarianshift

We don't get enough starrison. After a long stressful day at the studio, George goes to Ringos house after. Ringos pent up and George just looks delicious.

I Don't Care Too Much by @notgrungybitchin

John trying to be a sugar daddy in Paris but he and Paul are lowkey broke.

The Jumper by @merseydreams

John and Paul always shared clothing. After the break-up, John sees a picture of Denny Laine wearing one of the shirts that Paul and John had shared! He decides that is unacceptable and goes to a Wings show to get it back.

Plant a Seed by skua

John fuck Paul in his gay little sailor outfit from those Miami pics.

well, how did I get here? by @theoldmixer

McLennon crossover with 13 Going on 30. John goes to sleep one night when the Beatles were still struggling and he wakes up in the early 70s to find out he got everything he wanted and is one of the most famous musicians in the world but he doesn’t understand why he and Paul aren’t friends anymore….

i can only speak my mind by Paisanas

Someone in John’s staff sells his diaries to the press in the 70s. They’re printed in the papers. They contain his feelings about Paul. They are him pining over Paul. Paul reads them.

Brother Dearest by @javelinbk

AU where Mimi and Jim get married and John and Paul are stepbrothers (stepbrothers who are attracted to each other)

Managing Expectations by @pauls1967moustache

Paul and Brian cross paths on a night out at the clubs. After a mixture of several drinks/substances, and the subsequent effect of severely lowering the pair’s inhibitions, Paul begins to question Brian about his relationship with John. [How far Paul pushes the discussion and the extent of what Brian reveals are both up to the author. Tone and any pairing involving the three also up to the author.]

Content to Whisper by @adriansfrombrooklyn

I would love a peek inside J&P’s minds when they were playing pyramus and thisbe. You know, must’ve been interesting to play the lover of the person you secretly loved

you gave me the word by tarenas

John/Paul telepathy - they accidentally start hearing each other’s thoughts at random

oh, what a night by @two-gurus-in-drag

John and Paul have sweaty euphoric sex after the impromptu obertauern gig they did while filming Help!

No I in Threesome by @with-eyes-closed

i would love george finding out he has a daddy kink and just being like "god damn it, i thought i was the only one of us who didn't have some kind of daddy issues"

John, I'm Only Dancing by @skylikeaflame

After Paul almost falls off the building during the Mad Day Out photo shoot, John freaks out. They have it out and fuck tenderly.

**This will be updated as we get more fics!

**Also I wasn't sure of everyone's tumblr so if you want me to tag your tumblr please let me know!

[kingofthewebxxx]

anon meme: ( werewolf victorian au )

what's your thoughts on creating a pack? who would you want in your pack?

“A pack for little ole me? Well I would have to think about it, not that I haven’t already. Can’t have any old idiot, well I suppose I should collect a few of them at least, for canon fodder that is, I’ve always loved a game of chess! Although the chain of command would be different, only a few chosen betas, everyone else has to earn the right not to be just a mutt, Bastain is still my most trusted packmate, as well as my Gem. You are a very nosey anon aren’t you! I do have a little list of those I shall be turning, why would I ask when all I have to do is bite; so much more angst that way.”

Jim’s list:

Current Pack:

Gemini (Beta and Mate) @deathtransformed

Sebastian Moran (Beta) @thecockysniper

Isabella Purefoy/ Moriarty (beta and sister) @qceensofkings

Campbell Bain (packmate he just hasn’t realised what happened yet (mutt)) @heretoboogie

Lucy Westenra, you didn’t think I would forget you did you, (beta if you behave), @vyrulent

A few others that no one will know 🙃

To be bitten by moi:

Lord Asriel, purely for giggles @asrielbelacquaaaa

Another version of my tiger and also my big bro! If he agrees that is 👀 @collidingxworlds

Fish Lecter. My best friend! Because what is a pack without heart! @imprvdente

Deidre another sister of mine from another universe, may as well bring them together, the benefits of knowing a time lord 😉 @hvbris

Obviously! How could I not want this sexy devil on my side @iamthemaster

Ruby ruby ruby! @fortitudina

Because I said so, you are joining it even if I can’t turn you, pretty please 🥹@esotericsoldier

Others:

‘Ally’, Caspian is a true ‘friend’ to the pack, ignore the ‘ ‘ Cas, it’s your imagination 🙃 @luposcainus

You are part of this obviously my star, just not sure what to call you yet, I take it you want a fancy title @fangsforhire

Considering your view on werewolves if I can cure your vampirism I could give you the gift of turning into a giant dog! Or find a human version of you, only the best for my mirror images @poxsonmenace