#Getting Fed Up With Tumblr Being Dumb

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/766611758459879424/youtube-just-showed-me-the-most-dumb-video-essay?source=share

Youtube fed you that swill and you actually watched it? And then you read the comments?? That's why the algorithm is like this. Feeding people hateful garbage makes them stick around.

Log out (If you very much like features that are only available logged in, just make a second google account to use for youtube and nothing else)

Download Firefox https://www.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/windows/

Go into the privacy settings and set Enhanced Tracking Protection to "strict"

Install an adblocker, I like ublock origin https://ublockorigin.com/

Optionally, install some more anti-track addons, like Privacy Badger or Duckduckgo's privacy essentials

Install the container addon and set one up to qurantine youtube away from everything else https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/multi-account-containers/

Now what you have is a box that has youtube in it and literally nothing else. No ads, no personal information, no creepy stalkerware, no ability for other websites to see in the box, or for youtube to see out of it.

And now the fun part. Use the adblocker to nuke the entire sidebar and endcard overlays. Just select these with the eyedropper from the adblock extension, preview it to make sure you're not blocking more than you mean to, and bam, it's like three clicks and and you'll never see it again, it's beautiful.

Do this and you can watch all the videos you please and will NEVER have the algorithm shove some misogynistic garbage in your face because it crunched some math and knows that users with your profile are stasticsally likely to spend time on the side when served that sort of trash.

You can also use the adblocker to get rid of the entire comments section, or to nuke any design element or feature that you find annoying or ugly. It's called an adblocker, but it blocks anything based on URLs and HTML strings. The posibilites are endless, freeing, and beautiful. I use adblockers for aesthetics and accesibility at least as much as for actual ads.

I do this with every website I use regularily, including tumblr (though only the worst few [including youtube] have dedicated quarantine containers). It's a few steps to set up, but once you have the extensions installed and know how to use them, nuking algorithmic feeds and making sure that you only see what you actually want to see takes like ten seconds.

And no, before you say you have to use the app, this does work on mobile. Download Firefox for mobile, install the adblocker, install the anti-trackers, and use youtube in the browser instead of the app because taking an extra three seconds to load and having a slightly less optimized layout is worth not being unundated with advertisements and hate.

You can also root your phone and install adblockers that work with apps, but that's a more involved process and takes more effort and knowledge than simply installing a new browser and using an eyedropper tool to select a sidebar.

--

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Entry 25: Some for the Chef

(No visual aid; Z is very tired)

Bearblr Promptober Day 25: Size Kink (sub: Praise Kink(?))

Summary: Carmy finally figures out the duck with apple pairing for the next month's menu, and his girlfriend (who he calls Darling) has some complements to offer him. Fluff

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of trauma, comfort, finger-sucking, Fem reader who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns, does this count as a praise kink? Oh well (1162 words)

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Thank you for reading. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list. Sideblog for commentary and yapping: @m-z-shoroi

Also, if random letters or words are black/white instead of the colors they should be, that's Tumblr being dumb, I've been fighting it for days.

25 Oct 2024

I don’t know how to take complements.

I get weird about it, okay? World spends enough time beating you up for shit, then—what?—someone just says something nice about you? The fuck am I supposed to do with that? Where’s the insult? Where’s the backhand?

It’s worse when it’s something I have no say over. Like since getting the fuck out of that house, I’ve gotten maybe 40 or 50 complements on my eyes. I get it, they’re huge (kind of creepy, honestly, why do people like them?), electric blue—almost an unnatural blue, but my eyelashes fall off into my eyes constantly because they can’t do their fucking job, I’ve had dark circles since I was ten, my eyebrows give up at the halfway point, I have that annoying little mole right under my eye, and if they don’t look cadaverous, they look irritated from all the shit in the kitchen or straight up fucking psycho.

I didn’t make them. I didn’t have any input into my stupid fucking owl eyes. Stop fucking complementing me on them.

“Oh my God, this is amazing,” Darling mumbled, grabbing the knife to get another slice of duck breast.

My back killed something fierce, but the pain momentarily vanished. My face hurt, I was smiling so broadly. “Yeah?”

“Mmhm! Fuck me.” She hadn’t even finished chewing her bite and was already cutting another. “Carmy, baby, this is so good. I’m so proud of you.”

Food? Food I could take a complement on. That felt like a complement, like a recognition of the effort I put into learning this craft. I’d been working on this duck with apple pairing for well over 2 weeks. I needed it by the next morning. It was my last real shot to get it right, and in a spurt of anxious energy, I got home from service with a haul of groceries and got right to trying the next iteration. It kept getting too sweet, like candied ham—only candied duck breast, which wasn’t the worst, but it wasn’t right. I wanted more of the gamey notes from the duck breast, that slight metallic aftertaste. Didn’t want it getting drowned by apple.

“Woah, woah there; leave some for the chef to try,” I said, rifling through the drawer for another fork.

“No, no, come here, sweetheart.”

She hooked my chin, brought the morsel of duck to my mouth. I did expect it to taste good—fuck me, it was perfect, moist, tender, savory, gamey, sweet, tart, rich but still fresh—but the abrupt sinking heat in the pit of my stomach, that burner-like flame that sparked to life when I met her adoring expression as she fed me the bite of food? That. That caught me by surprise.

She looked proud of me. Sure, I was still getting used to her saying it to me (it still felt weird as hell but also fulfilling whenever she said it. Or when Sugar said it. Wait, has she been talking to Sugar? Have they been coordinating?), but seeing it on her face, those little crinkles in the corners of her eyes when she smiled, that cute little head tilt—it fucking sent me. My face went hot like it did when I first talked to her, I got dizzy for a moment. My heart slammed into my ribs. I wanted to see that face again, her being proud of me. Maybe it says a lot about the shitty fucking life I’ve had, but I would chase that feeling, the flighty, floaty feeling I got when Darling looked proud of me to the ends of the Earth if I had to. I need it. I need it like I need water to live.

Joy? Is this what joy feels like?

“It could be the best thing I’ve ever eaten,” she murmured. She put the fork down, then picked it up, then put it back down.

It might be the second-best thing I’ve ever eaten. “Yeah. Yeah, the splash of apple cider in the duck stock when making the demi-glace was the last thing.”

Oh, and then the tension left. I didn’t realize how much being stuck on the last item for the menu change was weighing on me until the stress winding me tight as a pulled bowstring snapped, and I plopped into the nearest dinner chair. In an instant, my entire body felt heavy. It could’ve been made of lead. My eyes refused to stay open, stung like I got pepper in them, my temples throbbed, my hands ached from holding the knives and from washing them so many times. My back hurt so bad that I’m pretty sure I groaned in pain. My shoulders ached, the space between my shoulder blades and my spine prickled with pain, my ankles hurt. Why did my ankles hurt? And why was my face even hotter? Was I about to have a panic attack?

Darling nudged my knees apart and nestled herself between them, wove her hands in my hair, brought my cheek to her chest.

“Hi, sweetheart,” she whispered.

I tried coiling my arms around her, but my hands barely made it to her thighs. “Hi.”

“Aw, did you run out of power?” she cooed.

“Mmm. I’ve been up since 4.”

“I know.” She worked her fingers in circles over my scalp, setting off goosebumps. Cool. Mercifully cool. “I woke up because I got cold.”

I found the strength to pull her in, nuzzle into her sweater, and inhale her scent. “’m sorry, baby girl. Just couldn’t sleep.”

“Can you look at me?” she whispered.

Yes. Yes, anything, of course.

I peered up at her.

She traced her thumb along my cheekbone. “I’m never going to get over how blue your eyes are, pretty boy.”

I take back what I said about complements. Please, say it again. Please. Please, tell me what else you like. Call me pretty boy again. She brushed some of my hair off my forehead, cupped my face, and—I don’t know what came over me, okay, fuck off—I slid her hand down and sucked her thumb into my mouth. I just needed something, some kind of sensation, something to focus on as the noise of the day disengaged. Quieting down was still hard for me—maybe it’d be hard for my entire life—but fucking hell, I just needed something to trace with my tongue. It set off this hot, fuzzy feeling in my core, the inverse of a panic attack, that tightness I got when she moaned my name. No, no, it was that feeling I got when she made that high-pitched whine right before she tumbled into an orgasm. That deeply sated, yet still-somehow-starved brimstone that landed in the pit of my stomach as if dropped from the sky.

She cooed, kissed the top of my head. “What are you thinking, sweetheart?”

I’m thinking about making you whine for me, pretty girl. How’s that sound?

[shiftylinguini]

Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack:

@phoebe-delia asked in response to this fun lil ask game:

Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back? . (for the ask anything) Do you have any advice for getting out of a slump/getting writing confidence back?

Now THIS. This is a good question, and something that is very much on my mind and has been for a while, as I am currently absolutely in the midst of this and trying to army crawl my way out. I don't have any magic bullets (is that the saying? idk) but I have been here before and i do have a small arsenal of tips or methods that I find can help me. 

Here is my Fuck I Can't Write Crisis Pack (In no particular order):

Write anything 

This is hardly groundbreaking advice, and it's also the hardest thing to actually do (imo) so do not beat yourself up if it takes a while to get to this. Basically, write ANYTHING―it can be aimless, it can be pointless, it can be crap (crap is subjective!! don't let the brain gremlins win!!). 

Don't think about posting it, don't worry about anyone else ever reading it, just fling a few words onto a page and feel the rusty faucet turn on, proving to yourself that it still works. 

Try and sus out what it is that's blocking you 

Again this one is hard and annoying but functional. Once you can put your finger on the particular reason you're staring at a flashing black line on a blank page it can help you kick that reason off your lawn and into the bin. 

And then, take it out of the bin and be kind to yourself about whatever that reason is. Maybe you feel shit because you're comparing yourself to others, your last fic felt like a lead balloon, you can't muster enthusiasm for what you once loved doing and fear that it's gone forever, you're projecting in a Tumblr post―whatever it is, it's something all the writers you admire and aspire to be like have felt, and been annoyed with themselves for, and so you can wrap it up in a blanket and put it on a shelf and be kind to it so it, (respectfully) shuts the fuck up. 

(and remember, everyone feels insecure about their stuff. Like literally everyone, at some stage, feels like their stuff is rubbish)

Cheat on your OTP 

Okay this one might not work for everyone, but it really does for me lol. Ruts (not the sexy kind) can often come with not wanting to engage in my usual ships, being annoyed by my lack of ability to fucking write them/anything/all my ideas taste like cardboard/bleh, and stepping out on them and reading something new can snap me out of it. Just, an injection of new ideas or scenarios or words or even just a little reprieve from being fed up with myself, which ideally, is why we're all here anyway. 

(And then I come crawling back, and am welcomed with open arms haha)

In a similar vein:

Engage in media 

This subtitle is genuinely terrible, i am sorry, LMAO, but essentially: find a piece of media that makes you go "oh, helLO sailor", unhinge your jaw like a snake, and consume it whole. 

Let it nourish you, inspire you, excite you, making you feel SOMETHING, and then take that and think "fuck, what if i wrote bleepbloopblarp" and even if you write nary a single word, you've thought about it and that fucking counts. 

It might be an album, a book, a song, a show, gifs of a hot person, the wikipedia summary of a movie, literally anything counts here if it makes you feel a twinge of creativity. 

Ask yourself, what would Astolat do? 

No for real. @candybarrnerd and I genuinely use this haha.  

Worried your idea is stupid? Astolat would say write it. 

Worried it's too weird? Nah, just write it. 

It's dumb and no one will read it? Just write it for you *waggles eyebrows* (and then find out that yeah, nah, someone else will absolutely read this and be real fucking happy about it haha.)

Worried you're a one trick pony and have already written this fic before, like, and not even once before, and also you're projecting again in Tumblr post? WRITE IT AGAIN! As Astolat once said, "it's a fic so nice, I wrote it thrice". 

It's good advice. 

Make a friend or lean hard on the ones you have here

Misery loves company because it knows they'll come out of this together :). I know, I know, that's fucking NAFF, but fandom is all about finding like-minded freaks and blowing up their DMs because you saw a gif and now feel a kind of ways about it. 

And lastly: 

FUCK STATS! 

I mean I love stats (yay validation!), but god can they make you feel like a worthless shit (hey where did my validation go :((( ). It can be really insidious, so piss that right off when it starts to fuck with your confidence or outlook on your own writing.

Hopefully there is something useful here, even if it's just looking at this advice and thinking "no that's shit, it's writing POISON" cos then you can maybe do the version you think is NOT shit, and that might work. 

Good luck, fellow travelers!!

[faerrothinks]

Sexualization of Men on Tumblr make me feel... good?

Like, it's weird? I grew up on "Male Internet" so to speak. Spaces like 9gag, Reddit, funnyjunk. It was so goddamn horny for women. Well still are, just that some of them started to shift towards femboys now.

As I grew up, I kinda got lost about how I interact with women. Getting fed these weird culture war Boys vs Girls garbage does that. So, I do what every boy does, and ask your friends, both offline and online about how to actually interact with women. Well that went terribly, most advice was crap if I'm being honest. Not to mention the large amount of friggin doomers groaning about how horrifically high women's standards are about men. As a very anxious and depressed person, I obviously fell for this. For a long time I really did think only the most masculine guy was attractive to women. While I did leave that thought in my late teens, mostly due to being the one male in a group of women, it left a psychological scar. When I'd get depressed or was particularly vulnerable the thought would come in, and I'd feel like I wasn't masculine enough to ever be loved or wanted.

Nowadays that I'm on Tumblr instead of reddit due to the exodus, it feels kinda dumb that I ever felt that way? Tumblr is I guess very "female gaze" and it feels weiiiiiird as a guy that grew up in male dominated spaces. You guys post a lot of art, a lot of unfiltered thoughts on here and the thirst for guys is real. The funniest thing is, a lot of it is for well not the most manliest guys. Like if you asked me what women wanted, I would have said it'd be the annoying sigma/alpha male shit you see on reddit so much. But that's not what's here. There's so many types of guys you people are into and it is friggin amazing!!! I fucking love it here, I feel reminded that there's a huuuuuge spectrum of guys that women can be into and it is the BEST FEELING EVER!

It feels nice here, kinda like when I'm with my group of female friends, who just happen to be all a bunch of tumblr users. So idk, maybe I should have jumped a ship a long time ago.

[ab121500]

Spite the Cat and The Buttons

Hi yes heres a dumb little modern au where Spite is a cat. Its too short for me to put on my ao3 so its a tumblr exclusive! Yay!

They should have known.

When Lucanis moved in with his girlfriend, he knew of the buttons. He knew her cat knew how to speak with them, and she sent funny (and a little heartbreaking) clips of Ria using the buttons to ask for him. He thought they were a funny and cute thing for Aylewin's baby to use. 

He thought Spite would ignore them. He should have known better.

It took the little bastard 4 weeks. 4 weeks to figure them out. He didn't understand what they said or how to talk with them like Ria, but he did understand a few buttons. Mainly the “Food”, “Aylewin” and “Lucanis” buttons. Lucanis could see the gears turning in Spite's little head as he stared at the buttons, hitting the “Ayelwin” one and being happy when his girlfriend came over and gave him praise and pets.

So when it was four in the morning and he heard a near constant stream of “Lucanis. Lucanis. Lucanis. Lucanis. Lucanis. Lucanis. Lucanis.” He should have realized. Instead, he panicked a little. Ria had done something similar months ago when he spent the night and forgot to turn off the stove. She also was making a racket, so he should have realized it wasn't her. But he hurried out to check on the cats.

Only to see Spite. Sitting on the “Lucanis” button. Staring at him. As soon as the little bastard saw his owner come out of his room, he moved off the button and instead sat on the “Food” button. His singular green eye just stared, waiting for Lucanis to give him food.  “Its too early.” He hissed. 

“Mrow.”

“You get fed at 7.”

“Mrow.”

“I know I'm supposed to reward you for learning how to use them. But I don't want you doing it again.”

Lucanis picked up Spite and carried him to the “Time-Out” bathroom. A bathroom they had put a litter box and water and occasionally food in so that there was a spot with a door that they could put Spite in when he was being naughty. Spite hated the room, but he had also learned if he yowled he wouldn't be let out any sooner. Lucanis gave him a little food to tide the bastard over before shutting him in there. 

He was so happy they had security cameras because there was no way Aylewin would believe him.

[zeestarfishalien]

My Graveyard Song Ch. 14

(Totally got distracted and forgot to post this to tumblr. It's been up on ao3 for a few days now)

[Masterpost]

Jason looked at the two empty bowls and one empty plate of food Danny had polished off and promptly decides to take him to Rosa Lee’s Diner. They always serve extra large portions of food that stands up to even Alfred’s high standards.

As he urges Spooky into one of the jackets left by his siblings, he shoots a text off to Cass.

[BCC plz 4 Spooky u wel 2 IOU 1 🏠🍝 ur chc]

By the time Cass gets there, Danny is starting on his third plate. Mind you, she got here in under half an hour and Danny is not in fact a speedster, but at the rate Danny is going, Bruce is certainly going to think someone fed a speedster.

Jason is really not sure where all this food is going. By all rights, his spooky friend should be on the verge of exploding from eating more than his body weight in food.

Even the waitstaff are watching this little meta-looking kid down pounds and pounds of food.

Cass passes Jason an unmarked black credit card and sits next to him in order to better watch Danny scarf down his waffles.

Five minutes later when their waiter swings by, Jason orders a platter of beignets and Danny orders Rosa Lee’s own personal special, a breakfast that comes with four slices of ham, a mountain of cheesy scrambled eggs, two pancakes, four breakfast sausage links, two biscuits, and an apple turnover.

At this point, the waiter doesn’t even blink, just asks if he’d like anything to add or substitute.

He asks for 3 extra pancakes.

By the time he's halfway through his stack of pancakes -the last thing left of his Rosa Lee Special- it dawns on Jason, that maybe Danny shouldn't be eating this much when he hasn't eaten regular human food in a long time.

But then again, what does he know? The world is a great big mysterious place and you cannot treat every humanoid looking being by the limitations of humans.

Danny is watching him now, an openly curious look on his face. There's a question in the air between them, even Cass picks up on it.

Carefully slow, Danny sets down his fork and finishes chewing the bite in his mouth.

"You're worried," he croaks, tapping his index finger on the table to emphasize his words.

He pauses, distracted, and looks down at his hand, repeating the motion of tapping his finger on the table while studying it closely. Jason almost breaks into laughter when Danny’s head tilts in an oddly animal like fashion.

If he needed any other proof that Spooky the dog is Danny the spirit sitting before him, this would do it.

His glowing eyes flick back up to Jason.

"Amused," he rasps out barely above a whisper. There's still that unspoken question in the air.

It finally clicks. The emotions Danny is naming are Jason’s. The question he wants to know is 'why'.

"I wasn't sure if you could get sick from overeating. Humans need to ease back into eating normal amounts but you're not human so I don't know what standard to hold you to."

Danny nods absently, his finger tap tap tapping away on the table.

"Hard to say," he says finally. His voice still sounds like gravel, not unlike Cass' own voice.

"Ecto fills in gaps. A temporary fix. Rebuilding with the right stuff now." He gestures vaguely to the empty plates stacked on their table. "Ecto is fast. I'm probably fine."

"Sorry," Jason half mumbles. "I just worry."

All movement from Danny freezes, like someone pressed pause on the TV. His eyes go wide in realization and alarm.

"Jazz..."

Jason blinks and then it hits him with the speed and force of a freight train.

"Oh shit! Jazz!" He scrambles for his phone. "Do you remember anything else about her that might help?!"

~•~

Bill would like everyone to know that he works very hard to be a good hench person.

He's not dumb. Now he may not be book smart like half the big baddies in Gotham, but he's not dumb.

He would have died long ago if that were the case. He's worked for the Red Hood for a couple years now —it's one of the best decisions he's ever made; the guy knows how to treat his hench people. What more can Bill say?— and he's avoided asking questions just like with all his hench jobs before this.

But he'd really like to ask one now that he's stuck watching years worth of security footage...

What even constitutes suspicious activity in a cemetery?

Now most people would automatically say, graverobbing, but Big Red is a Gotham native. In Gotham, no one is buried with their valuables, not unless your grave is in a super secret spot. Gothamites can smell money and anytime there's a possibility of it, people will dig up the grave in question.

Hell, the cops don't even stop for it anymore, they just keep on rollin' even if it's happening right before their eyes.

Point is, graverobbing can't be the suspicious behavior he's supposed to look for, but Bill really isn't sure what exactly does quantify as suspicious behavior to Big Red.

Everything here has been run of the mill, graverobbing, teen/young adult vandalism, or drug deals.

Yes, he considers goth teens/young adults having sex in a cemetery as vandalism too. Vandalism on his eyes, if nothing else.

He hits pause on a big white van and rubs his eyes tiredly. Perhaps it's time to call it a night. He's losing focus, getting caught up in his own thoughts.

His hand hovers over the mouse about to drag it over to close out of the program when his brain catches up to what his eyes are seeing.

The van, big, white, armored...

Now that IS unusual. Black or gray vans are the favored colors in Gotham and anyone, who knows anything about Gotham, knows that you NEVER armor up a suspicious color and type of vehicle. Not if you don't want the cops and vigilantes breaking down your door.

He can just make out two people in bright colors inside the van. They're grainy but not grainy enough for Bill to doubt the color of their outfits.

It's too bright for any regular gothamite. The only people in this city who dress like that are the big shot villains and their cronies.

The two disappear into the cemetery, out of sight of the camera with tools in hand. He scans forward a few hours (less time than he expected honestly) and slows back to normal speed just in time to watch them unload what seems to be some sort of coffin, except it's metal with glowing lines and patterns on it.

He pauses the video again and with elbows resting upon the desk he presses clasped hands against his mouth to muffle his sigh.

Well, if that doesn't constitute suspicious activity then Bill will hand in a letter of resignation and go flip burgers.

Well...time to let the boss know.

Yall thought I made up the part where Bill the Henchman comes in, but I definitely, absolutely had this planned from the beginning. [Lying]

Okay, gonna be honest, I may have had a plan for Bill, but it either was lost in the shuffle or there never actually was a plan for scenes with Bill. Considering I can only sometimes keep my dream memories from mixing with my awake memories, any hope of recovering any potential memories is nigh on impossible.

HOWEVER

I can always make new plans. AND I HAVE! So yes, we have Bill now and I'm going to pretend like this was planned all along.

Oh yeah! So Jason’s text at the beginning says: Black credit card please, for Spooky. You are welcome too. I owe you one homemade meal, your choice.

Also can you imagine being a vigilante? Bc you have at least 10 very important things you have to juggle on just an average Tuesday. This is not including sudden family disasters like a family member getting trapped in a burning building and having to go save them, plus more wild revelations about your funky supernatural roomie. So like, cut a guy some slack, I know I'd be floundering some days. Attempting to prioritize must really be a bitch some days. Just...oof...

[tasteofgummies]

ℙ𝕣𝕖𝕤𝕖𝕟𝕔𝕖

Cw: mentions of murder and kidnapping

GN (fem aligned, kinda) reader! X JJBA

You could say JJBA was your comfort show, when things went wrong, when the world was overwhelming, you could always find a safe haven in the bizarre adventures of your favorite characters. Sometimes you rewatched your favorite episodes, or read some fanfic. And as sad as it sounds, you really feel close to them; yes, friends could help, but why bother? You know they won't be as great comforting you as fictional characters were. You weren't harming yourself or others, you were taking you meds and doing the things you were supposed to (most of the time) but you still feel alone some days, and you know that it's not a hole anyone can fill completely, wholely, perfectly.

You finished the episode, and went to the kitchen to grab something to eat before bed, you fed your cat and ate your snack while mindlessly scrolling through Tumblr.

Of course you had other interests, and liked other characters, but lately you had been in an extremely severe jjba brainrot, you didn't worry too much, it just happened sometimes.

However, this was the first time you had this inmese, beyond human desire, this crave for content, and it was the first time you dreamt of it so often, and also the first time you felt like they were watching you at all times, you found yourself doing all kind of silly things thinking that someone may be watching, how dumb, right? But the dumbest thing was when you saw shadows near you, or heard noises that disappeared once you went looking for the source, you even called your landlord to inform him about the noises in the walls, thinking it could be a rat problem, but you were left looking like a fool when no one else could hear them.

You put your used dishes in the dishwasher, thinking to yourself that you would finally wash them tomorrow (something you've been saying the whole week) and headed to your room. You put your phone in the charger, and think about meeting up with a friend tomorrow, you need to get out, this lonely apartment is messing up with your head.

3:06 a.m

You wake up scared, you vaguely remember your jjba related dream, but you're too frightened to pay mind to it. The noises, the noises are so loud, and so clear now. You slowly move to lock the door, trying to be as silent as you can be, and you sigh in relief when you notice your cat is sleeping in your room, safe.

Should you call the police? You can hear the loud footsteps, and the sound of your furniture being moved, of drawers being opened and rummaged through. You curse yourself, how could you be so stupid? The feeling of being watched was probably a thief stalking you to get inside your house, the noises must have been that too. You should definitely call the police, but what if they hear you?

🆃🅷🆄🅼🅿..

It's so loud, this thief must be a really big person, you have no chance if you have to fight.

🆃🅷🆄🅼🅿..

Did they hear you? Oh god, they're coming closer, you scan the room to try and find a weapon to defend yourself with, you fail.

🆃🅷🆄🅼🅿..

It's the end, it's the end, you're getting murdered, or worse, you're getting kidnapped, oh my god, you can feel it, they're seconds away

C̶̣̜̬̲̀̓̈̊̏r̷̡̢͚̠͇̺̻̟̪̃͊ͅa̷̘̼̯̪̎͒̌́̀s̵̡͈̥͕͓̘̱̲̀̈́͗̇̉͐͛͠h̷̖̟̻͙̲̺͈̐̉̽̓́̒̿!!

The door is forced open, you freeze, you cry, you can feel your heart stop. It's so dark, you can't even see the face of the person that will take your life, they're probably mad they didn't find anything too valuable

"It's you! I'm so glad I found you" they said, happily, getting close to you, he turns on the lights, and you can see their face. Otherworldly beauty, they look just like- wait,,,

"Wait- but you're not real..."

[dollivication]

oh em geeee puppy leon who notices a shift in your mood due to a recent failed relationship once again, he tries every little thing he can possibly think of (which isn't much!) he's just sososo upset his owner is upset too!

imagining that you start to get a bit physical with him and end up knocking him around because you're so stressed and frustrated from everything. it definitely hurts him to be pushed, punched, and pinched, but it's all for you and he can sense your stress melting away! (it definitely doesn't make him hard. absolutely no way and if you see that bulge in his pants you're imagining it. even though his tail is wagging a thousand miles an hour and he disappears for awhile after the abuse occurs it's not because he's totally rubbing one out in the bathroom!)

sighinggg he would totally let you beat him just as long as he can feel your hands on him in some form :(

(also i’m sorry if you got this same ask from me the first time^^ i literally have to send in two for tumblr to even deliver my asks.. wuv u dollypie)

-🐈‍⬛

🐈‍⬛NON !!!! no wait its actually a really good thing you send these asks twice because i didn’t get the first one… MWAAA I LAUV YEW BACK SO BAD MWAMWMA!!!!! 🩷🩵🩷🩵🩷

oh this tickled my fancy… there’s just something about leon taking abuse as a form of love… it’s so hot UGHHRHGGH he’s just so dumb that every time you lay a hand on him, his cock jumps in his briefs and he’s always on the verge of cumming from that contact alone (◞‸◟) !!! he doesn’t get why he feels butterflies in his tummy when you bruise him up and insult him, it makes him feel so woozy and his cute dick all leaky !!

puppy leon who tries to imitate your abuse on himself whenever you haven’t done it for some time! he’ll attempt to limit his oxygen with his own hand, tightening it around his throat as his tail wags and he uses his other hand to pump his sensitive cock. tears blur his vision, not just from the pain, but because it’s not you who is doing it to him :( he gets so fed up from not being able to cum, his ears get all droopy and he whines, a sticky mess on the front of his boxers. poor puppy </3

laik it gets so bad he starts hoping to catch you in these bad moods again.. on the off chances that you DO go back to loving on him and praising him, he feels a pang of disappointment. stupid mutt just really likes getting walked on because it’s just another way of being able to worship his owner. owwgghh….;;;

[tio-trile]

Obligatory sorry if you're fed up with GO2 asks!

I'm a new fan of the show (like, a few weeks after season 2 came out a friend lent me their Prime acc to binge watch everything) and haven't read the book at all but!

It's like in S1 Crowley and Aziraphale exist in the world and in S2 the world exists for them kind of,, in S1 the point of view shifted almost constantly and at the end the plotlines converged together in a cathartic moment for all of our beloved characters, but in S2 it's just,, present Aziracrow and past Aziracrow,, which is fine, I liked that they showcased the way they were and are with each other but it would've been better if there were less of these moments.

Talking about these, I saw that a lot of people on Tumblr were excited to see Crowley as an angel and it could've been good but. I don't get why Aziraphale HAD to be here, or more like HAD to interact with him and remember/recognize him later, and I'm not really thrilled about the fact that Crowley is implied to be someone important! It just feels like Crowley and Aziraphale aren't equals anymore ; Crowley Always Knows Best he admittedly was someone pretty important in heaven before and he feels more Holier Than Thou than the literal angel he's with?? I get that he Fell so he already knows for sure that Heaven is corrupt but,, I don't know, I feel like Aziraphale lost agency and just Can't Do Anything Right anymore! (And Crowley Can't Do Anything Wrong anymore either??)

I found the flashbacks for ineffable bureaucracy quite adorable but it was all too sudden! It feels the Gabriel mystery just wasn't progressing at all during the season and at the last minute, ta-dahh here's an exposition dumb on what happened, no build-up for the now canon pairing. Not a big fan of amnesia in general but even less when the amnesic character just gets everything back for a dramatic reveal scene, maybe I would have felt like things actually happened in this season if Gabriel was slowly able to access some memories. We could have had the build-up of him and Beelzebub planning on escaping together in the flashbacks! (And I mean, I get that there was the fly and the song but,, It didn't really affect Gabriel/Jim so it doesn't feel,,, enough?)

I was completely indifferent to Maggie and Nina. Also could've worked better as a separate POV from Aziracrow. I just didn't get enough scenes to care for them or feel any chemistry. Nina was already in a relationship, and Maggie was just crushing on her. They didn't really get together at the end but they're involved enough in the idea of them getting together in the future to give Crowley love advice and for Maggie to wait for Nina. I just don't really get it? If the goal was Maggie and Nina getting together, then they needed more time and scenes. If the goal was that they would not get together because Aziraphale and Crowley were trying to force them to be, then why saying that they "only needed a little push," that Maggie is "willing to wait for Nina," why both give love advice to a guy they barely know when they barely know each other too?

Anyways, I really liked the show (and am still eager for a potential S3)! But I feel like Neil Gaiman's writing is missing a similar style to Terry's (though obviously I wouldn't know what his writing is like since I. Haven't read the book nor other books from this/both of these actually authors), and important reoccurring characters besides Aziraphale and Crowley.

Yes, I agree with a lot of your points! And it's very interesting for me to hear that we share a lot of the same opinions although coming from different places -- being an older book fan and being a newer show-only fan. "S1 Crowley and Aziraphale exist in the world and in S2 the world exists for them" is exactly right, and similar to what I complained about not liking them "being the main characters". And I completely agree with that even if we see Angel!Crowley, Aziraphale doesn't have to be there, and also not liking that Crowley was somebody important before. And yeah, I've said it before but the Gabriel mystery and even the Nina/Maggie romance have potential, but ends up falling flat. Thank you for the ask! Apology accepted.

[xenon-demon]

I fucking love pretty much every version of the “celebrity x Just Some Guy™” trope that there is for Steddie, but in honor of having a totally reasonable amount of wine I’m going to tell you about the version I’m currently thinking about all the time, one of my dumbest yet also funniest AU concepts: modern!AU with streamers Steve & Robin and Hardcore Fan™ Eddie who writes reader-insert fic about Steve.

Steve and Robin, aka EvenStevens and BirdBox_ on Twitch (“My name is spelled with a P-H, Robin, that’s such a stupid name.” “No, it’s actually even better this way! You don’t want to just use your real government name for something like this, and you would just make your username ‘SteveHarrington01′ or something equally uninspired-”) frequently stream together and have a shared YouTube channel. They got popular doing reaction videos that quickly devolve into the pair of them bickering on camera, and since the internet just loves the ‘snarky woman and her emotional support himbo’ dynamic, they got very big, very quick. Plus, it certainly doesn’t hurt that they had the combined might of Dustin and Erica to help them bend the algorithm to their whims.

While most people recognize their platonic-with-a-capital-P soulmatism, there are still some that are convinced they’re secretly dating - they can’t decide if it’s hilarious or absolutely maddening that every time they try to disprove the rumors, they somehow get stronger. Robin doesn’t feel comfortable coming out to the internet yet, and without that trump card some people just can’t understand why they’re not dating.

...there are other sections of their fandom, however, that absolutely do believe they’re not dating. Mainly because they’d rather be dating Steve or Robin (or both!) themselves, and write all the reader-insert fanfiction you could ever possibly need about it. Robin is largely ambivalent to the concept of fanfiction being written about herself as long as they’re not writing smut, since at least that way they’re not insisting she’s dating Steve.

Steve on the other hand finds it absolutely hilarious how despite how much he’s changed, he’s back to being the heartthrob he used to be in high school - and, he’ll be honest, he thrives on the attention. He’s given everyone the green light to write whatever they want - dared them to make it raunchier, even - to the point where it’s a running joke that Steve will read your reader-insert fanfiction about him unless you tag it with some form of ‘Steve don’t look’. He even used the prevalence of fic about himself to come out on stream.

(Steve’s in the middle of re-organizing his flower field in Animal Crossing when he’s interrupted by a donation. “Hey Steve, really sorry to tell you this but people are writing porn about you... and they’re making it gay. Like writing about you getting fucked by a dude. Just wanted you to know so you can say something about it.”

Steve stops dead, his screen freezing on his open inventory. “Hey, uh, why the fuck would I have a problem about a fictional version of me bottoming? Or- wait, do I seriously give off homophobic vibes? I’m literally bisexual. Hey Dustin, can you ban that guy please? Christ, the nerve of some people. If that’s how you feel about people being gay, or about people writing things that I’ve already said I have no problem with, you can leave this stream right now because I don’t want you here.“)

Many people lost their minds after that stream, one of them being popular tumblr blog whorefireclub.

Eddie didn’t plan on starting a tumblr blog for self-insert fanfiction about a twitch streamer. Really he didn’t, and every time he thinks about it in terms that plain he kind of dies a little on the inside. It’s really all Gareth’s fault, for getting fed up with Eddie’s dumb parasocial crush on a streamer and daring him to just “get it out of his system already”. So, using a bare-bones anonymous tumblr and many, many beers as his cover story, Eddie posted some of the most quickly written and unedited pieces of writing he’s ever produced in his life.

Except he wrote it with an AMAB reader character - and for those of you unfamiliar with the reader-insert sphere, that’s like fucking hen’s teeth. People are pretty good at making things gender neutral at least in their descriptions, and sometimes the anatomy is vague enough that it’s ambiguous, but the majority is written with AFAB genitalia for the reader character.

Eddie’s little drunken post blows up, and at first, he’s never regretted a life choice more.

After thinking about it, and seeing just how many people left comments with their reblogs or came into his askbox directly to thank him for giving them the representation they wanted, he starts to feel a bit better about the whole thing. In fact, it kind of tickles his “protector of the outcasts” instincts; there are people who can’t enjoy the content they want to because it doesn’t gel with their anatomy or gender identity. Eddie could, hypothetically, if he wanted to be absolutely insane about this one hot streamer guy, help fix that problem somewhat.

A couple of months later and he’s become “the guy who writes inclusive reader-insert fic”. While a fair amount of his work is gender-ambiguous, both in anatomy and in avoiding gendered language, more than half is written for anyone who finds themselves underrepresented in the usual reader-insert scene; anyone AMAB, AFAB people who can’t do female language, he’s even written a few oneshots with intersex reader characters. He did research for it and everything. It’s certainly not how he planned for this to work out, but it’s actually kind of... nice. He’d written a lot of fanfiction in his youth, mainly about Lord of the Rings and Star Trek, and while this isn’t how he’d imagined returning to the hobby it’s actually really fun. (It’s making his celebrity crush on Steve a million times worse, of course, but he’s in denial about that so it’s totally fine.)

He’s a little shit, so his blog header has - underneath his personal details - a PSA that reads “Steve, don’t look at this unless you have the balls to shout me out on stream ;)”. Eddie thinks he’s absolutely hilarious.

Right up until he wakes up to find his following has exploded overnight, and upon checking his DMs from his mutuals realizes that - oh shit - that bastard actually did it and talked about his blog on stream.

And Steve said he liked it. Steve likes the porn that Eddie wrote about him. Jesus H. Christ, Eddie is so unfathomably fucked.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

if this were to exist as a fic it would be told through social media posts/DMs. one of those fics that uses unconventional (i.e. non-prose) formatting, you know the ones. the concept actually came from the fact I fucking LOVE fics like that, I’m a slut for any of that House of Leaves-type shit. one time I read a fic that consisted of 8 short stories and each one had a HTML puzzle you had to solve to be able to read it, e.g. one you had to highlight because the text was in white, another you needed to hover your mouse over to make it scroll through the text - I can’t remember the rest but it was SO COOL.

(or, to put this another way, I read homestuck at a formative age and it forever changed how I feel about formatting stories.)

[superectojazzmage]

Imma be honest, this whole situation with the Vulture article about Spider-Verse and the working conditions behind it are saying less to me about the industry’s very real problems and more about Twitblr’s tendency towards absolutely ridiculous overreaction, jumping to conclusions, poor fact-checking, and tendency to care more about making themselves mad and upset then actually helping anybody. And also kinda makes me feel like “crunch” might be about to go up on the shelf of “words that Tumblr has made completely meaningless”.

Actually reading the article and not just pissing and shitting with rage in the comments over the headline leads to a somewhat nuanced and honestly not-especially-damning-or-dramatic context:

Four animators (on a team of over a thousand) claim that Sony asked animators to work bullshit hours on this project and lowballed them on pay, which is something Sony has been accused of before with other projects and is a common criticism of the big studios in general. However, they also say that a lot of these bullshit hours were made up of low periods where they weren’t really doing a lot of work.

There’s some complaining about Phil Lord’s loose and improvisational approach to filmmaking not gelling with an animation project of this size and nature, leading to dumb mistakes like redoing already completed sequences that exacerbated some of the deadline crunches that Sony pulled.

These four animators found it disheartening to have their work cut from the finished project, mainly because they couldn’t add a lot of it to their reels, but they also feel they were properly compensated for the overtime and down periods.

100 animators left the project for various reasons over the course of production, but this doesn’t actually say much because, again, the animation team had over a thousand people on it; this is actually an impressively small turnover rate for a production of this size.

All of this is presented without any actual proof of the claims beyond the word of these four animators, who it should be noted are giving it anonymously. Literally the only evidence they even exist is that the Vulture writer says. So, like, not exactly a smoking gun. Sony has denied the accusations, with Amy Pascal giving a rather snappish and testy response to it that pretty much amounts to “if these people are really who they say they are, they’re full of shit and need to get over themselves and accept how filmmaking works”. Phil Lord and Chris Miller have not commented at all to my knowledge.

All in all, it seems like kind of a nothing burger story. More talk about the crappiness of the entertainment industry’s way of doing things and how poorly the big studios treat animators, more talk of the importance of unionizing, but nothing especially major, not very dramatic compared to other horror stories that have come out over the years, and there’s not even any REAL evidence the claims are true (sorry if my standards of proof are a bit higher than “anonymous person said so!”).

The main conclusions to draw are that Sony sucks, there’s a lot institutional problems in the animation industry that need to be fixed, unions are good, and Lord and Miller can be major pains to work with when put in the wrong environment. Pretty much all of which was well-known prior to this.

And yet, the reaction has been so needlessly strong. Like, I understand that people are fed up with this kind of shit and it’s justifiable to be annoyed about crunch or to sympathetic to the supposed plight of these animators… but Jesus Christ. The way people are despairing and throwing sobbing fits in comments about not being allowed to enjoy anything and “no ethical consumption”. The way these somewhat mild problems are being described as “ANIMATORS MADE TO WORK TO DEATH IN SWEATSHOP CONDITIONS”. The way Lord and Miller are being instantly turned on and called narcissistic abusers (something the article never even ONCE approaches). The hyper-cynical, masturbatory, and snooty “disappointed but not surprised” pessimism. The exaggerated crying for the animators like they’re dying crack babies made to toil in a radium mine and not normal people complaining about a crappy job.

It all feels very… well, pathetic at best. Performative at worst. Because I genuinely don’t know how many of these people complaining are actually gonna, like, do anything about it, nor how this complaining into the void without doing anything is helping anyone. And it’s plainly apparent from a lot of the comments that many of the people posting these rants have not actually read the article, just the headline and other comments. At the very least, it says some very bad things about the internet’s current, corporate-and-social media-encouraged zeitgeist of constant misery porn, melodramatic hysterics, purity culture, needlessly angry and confrontational activism, and convicting by public opinion before all the facts are in (or even willfully ignoring facts for the sake of fueling the complaining train).

I also feel like this is all very counterproductive to the effort of workers rights, as it’s kind of making the people involved look bad and making their complaints look petty and overblown, when in reality there’s absolutely a lot of real problems that need to be addressed.

I also also feel like we’re really reaching a ridiculous point with the whole “no ethical consumption under capitalism” bullshit, where people are acting like even the slightest bit of pain in any industry taints everything about it and means every person who buys the product is complicit and there’s “no escape from the sin” which is a completely batshit stupid way of viewing the world. But I digress.

[dana-chan-the-control-brain]

I think I realized what an impossible task I have at my job to accomplish, and how the teachers view the library staff as a parasite.

Some of it is my fault.

But in retrospect, it's as if I sneezed loudly at a wrong moment, and now the Staff there treat me like a batman tier war criminal, and it's entirely unfair.

Example and dumb rambles of Teacher staff drama under the cut cus I'm fed up and just making this Tumblr post to vent if anything.

Today, there was a buffet potluck for Teacher staff. So I asked if I could have some. They said yes. But once I had food, they were upset I was eating "teacher staff" food and it wasn't for Library Staff.

They even sent the Elementary Guidance Councilor to tell me this. And they spoke in the same voice that they use for five year olds having a disagreement.

But this wasn't a disagreement, more of a misunderstanding.

I mean, did they think I'd eat the whole potluck? Did they want me to contribute?

I gladly would have. Heck, I could have given the parent teacher association money if that's what this was about.

I know why they treat me this way. It's because I took a few small foods from the PTO breakroom in the past without paying for them. Planning to pay back once I got my paycheck. (I'm not the only one to do this. The few teachers who I am friendly with do this all the time and assured me it was fine.)

This was over five months ago and I have since payed back the money, apologized for my mistake and misunderstanding, and have been trying to move on. As my job revolves around having good working relationship with the staff there.

So I will admit fault for my slip ups of work related hunger and poverty.

I can take responsibility for my actions, and I have sense been trying to build my relationships up since.

What I didn't appreciate was that they told me I was allowed to potluck functions, something I double checked and asked about, and made sure it was absolutely okay for me to have this food, which they said alright, then got mad when I took a small amount of food, locked me out of the breakroom, despite me having a key, and treated me like a war criminal or a Snorlax that'll eat the whole damn potluck.

Not to mention, my boss also wants me to "come up with something" to organize the library in a new way.

When they admitted personally that they don't know what they want.

So I don't know what to research.

But since I'm on probation on yet another job, I will get fired if I don't find or come up with something they want by the end of the month.

The task is impossible.

Partially self inflicted. I know I did some of this myself. But I don't think it's all self inflicted. I think it's also part of the Teacher Staff being very catty and clichey and just treating the library staff like unwanted parasites or outsiders.

And I don't think I deserve a lot of the isolation that they put me though. (I either have a choice of eating in the hallway where the library is located or a broom closet these days. And yes, the superintendent was the one who made this "compromise" so their food doesn't get "stolen" Granted, the custodians can't use the breakroom now either.... But the substitutes can.)

Either I'll quit or be fired by the end of the year.

I think I'm too autistic to have a job where building relationships and have everyone like you be part of my job description.

I feel I'm too autistic for a job anymore in general.

Anyway, long story short:

Me: oh cool. Nice food. Can I have some?

Them: sure.

Me: (eating) them: no, no. Bad girl. That's teacher food.

[femmefeedist]

*Read me first* FAQ:

-----

💓 What are your pronouns, gender & orientation?

I use she/her, I'm a cis female & I'm bi 🥰

❤️ Are you dating anyone?

I'm madly in love with my girlfriend @in-love-with-fat 🥰🥰🥰 We're both lil tumblr s!uts so feel free to flirt with either of us

🔥What kind of k!nks are you into?

I'm a switchy feedee/feeder princess into all sorts of hot things, especially feedism and power play. I'm still exploring my k!nky side so this isn't exhaustive at all (& tumblr keeps flagging my pinned post so some of these are descriptions rather than the actual names of what they are)

My subby side:

getting (over)fed/stuffed

*ntox

getting teased for gaining weight

turning off my brain and going dumb

being bred and claimed and used

getting dressed up how you want me

calling you daddy

My princess side:

teasing you

overfeeding you

dom*nating you

getting worshipped by you

draining your wallet

General:

pet play

some consenual non-consent

✨ How much weight have you gained since becoming a feedee?

I used to be 120lbs at my lowest when I was a model and an athlete but I've definitely filled out since then. I have a fast metabolism and I don't gain weight easily naturally, so every bit of pudge I put on is extra hot for me. I don't reveal my weight on tumblr, just on OF, and I only weight myself once a month at most so I don't obsess over the numbers. I will say my new baseline weight (where I hover if I'm not trying to gain or lose) is around 140lbs.

🍀 How did you get into feedism?

I've literally *always* been fascinated by weight gain, overeating, feeding others, and fatter bodies since I can remember. I'm definitely one of those people who didn't use the word "belly" or "tummy" as a kid because it felt so *inappropriate* and I remember distinctly wondering (as a child) how I'd look if I gained weight and I couldn't wait to get fat "when I grow up" 😅 (I think I assumed everyone just got fat when they got older and I couldn't wait lol). When I was in college I saw a youtube video about feedism and everything clicked. I was "just" a feeder for awhile until I realized I'm a total switch and started gaining weight myself. Now I indulge both sides and I love it!

✉️ Can I DM you?

I'm super friendly & I don't bite so feel free to comment on any of my posts or send asks! I don't generally reply to DMs on here unless we're mutuals or unless you want to feed me/sponsor/donate/buy a clip/etc - I get too many tumblr messages so I have to be very discerning with replies. I have an ~0nlyFans~ where I *do* reply to every message & make spicier/more personalized content (and longer videos, clips, gif sets, etc).

✨ Any specific boundaries?

Do not message me if you're under 18. Do not send me photos of your body parts without asking first. Do not get mad at me if I don't reply to your DM or ask.

I'm very very open with k!nk talk and there isn't much I won't talk about/fantasize about, and I'm totally ok with you calling me names when you tease me so no need to hold back 🔥

[kaesaaurelia]

An employer would absolutely go to jail for hiring an assassin to kill somebody. A ton of very wealthy mobsters have gone down for murder.

[Context, I assume, is this post I reblogged and added to about the Boeing CEO confessing to workplace retaliation, which is being widely interpreted on Tumblr as being a straight-up murder confession.]

Sorry, anon, I'm laughing a little because you are sending these asks to someone whose hyperfixation (and thus the inexplicable setting of many a fanfic not actually about a canon set there) is late 19th and early 20th century Chicago history, so I am pretty familiar.

I do agree that generally if you make a habit of doing or contracting murders the Feds will probably try to get you on something, but I don't have a ton of faith in the justice system for a number of reasons, and I'm not willing to concede with absolute certainty that the CEO of a large corporation would get prison time if they participated in a conspiracy to commit murder, depending on how well they had their shit together. But even habitually corrupt politicians and public figures seem to fuck up and get caught because they forgot about fucking phone taps (my old boss and I used to make fun of these guys for not doing their negotiations in-person like sensible people, and I had a job interview recently with a guy who was convicted of ripping up his competitor's election yard signs, which is like... buddy you could have paid someone cash to do that and probably had a 100% less embarrassing wikipedia page, or just.... not done it???), so yeah, I do think your average murderous CEO would probably fuck up and get caught.

It's still safe to say that barring extraordinary circumstances a CEO would still get prison time if he confessed to this under oath, to Congress. Don't get me wrong, I can think of half a dozen CEOs dumb enough to do this either shamelessly or by accident, but a. yeah, it would definitely mean jail and b. Dave "The Boeing Guy" Calhoun is not one of those guys.

[dumb-doll-lips]

Why do you like being so dumb? What does it do for you and why?

So I’m just wrapping up work for the day, so this def has the chance to get wordy. And I haven’t talked too much about this. So, anyways…

For me, the root of it is all about trying to be happier. Towards then end of high school, through college, and into working, I’ve spent soo much time beinf really unhappy and stressed trying to struggle my way through. I went from being a near straight A student in highschool to failing classes in college, crying more days than not and having so many more panic attacks and being just in a shitty place w my mental health. I was putting a lot of pressure on myself and constantly felt like I was trying so hard but failing at life. I was letting how well I did in class and if I got a job offer or not define if how much worth i felt I had. Smart and a successful career we’re the only ways I felt I could have value and I was doing miserable at both.

Trying to be smart and trying to have a successful job both became extremely associated w negative feelings for me. Learning that’s not the only way to feel valued and not the only way I can lead a live was a huge realization. Seeing how being nice and friendly and dressing up got me help and opportunities was so eye opening. And when I finally let myself give up on trying to be smart and have a successful career, it felt like a huge weight was lifted and being happy became so much more accessible.

Finding some of the community on tumblr though was when like I finally started to think of dumb as a good thing for me. Like I legit used to discuss w people that call me dumb or stupid was limit. So finding people where dumb felt cute/hot and safe and an invitation for help was like wow. That’s what made it feel okay for me to stop trying as much to be smart. And helped me stop feeling ashamed of how like I get left and right wrong all the time or how I can almost never manage to list all 12 months or sometimes walk into walls. It like finally felt okay to not make myself miserable trying to be something I wasn’t.

It felt soo nice. I was happier and friendlier and got to feel like I was a bit of sunshine in someone’s day. How good that all felt, is why being dumber started sounding like a good thing. And with that came needing more help from people. And i strongly believe that over all people like to be helpful. And I’d be so appreciative so it fed feeling like I was such a nice thing in someone’s day.

Finding it hot was never a factor at first. I think it took a while for me to personally start finding it hot even. How hot I find it now prolly has a bunch to do w my daddy. Having always leaned submissive, the dependence on someone w it is hot to me. Seeing the change in myself is also hot. But the core has always been about being happier, but that def also makes things being hot a lot easier lol.

Bravo, if you made it this far. I wouldn’t have lol

[obsessivelollipoplalala]

I can relate to what the last two anons said I could never make friends in the queen fandom and I see others making friends on here so easily that I feel like there is something wrong with me or I'm just an outcast because I'm shy or weird but the fandom feels very cliquey sometimes

Aw, no, there’s nothing wrong with you for not making fandom friends. All fandoms are cliquey to some extent, and I feel like it’s even worse in small fandoms, such as the tumblr Queen fandom. If you don’t fit in with a clique? Good, it means you’re acting like an adult lol. Seriously, the cliquey shit is so not worth losing sleep over. I had longtime followers unfollow me after I finally got fed up with an extremely immature and cliquey user hate-reading my blog and vagueblogging about me for years lmao, so fandom cliques will turn on you for the dumbest shit and if you say anything against the big name fans—very high school, isn’t it? In general, internet fandom cliques can encourage really petty and abnormal behavior, and I don’t last in them because they get mad the minute someone says, “No this is nonsense and really Online, actually.” It’s like how I left a group chat on insta back when I had my Queen account because I didn’t feel inclined to go along with the crowd in *checks notes*….saying Brian hates Freddie and is homophobic towards him. Really, listening to Online garbage is not worth being in a clique!

Some people do seem to make friends in fandom easily, but keep two things in mind that I previously mentioned: the first one is that it might seem like people are besties on your tumblr dashboard because they reblog each other’s posts and tag each other and stuff, but their online relationship might actually be superficial, and fizzle out the minute one or both joins a new fandom (or those friendships might end easily over really dumb fandom discourse!). The second is that even if you make an actual friend online, they can disappear from your online life pretty abruptly and with little explanation one day, maybe because something happened, or they don’t use tumblr anymore, or whatever.

I know this might not be the answer you were looking for, but all of this is why people should invest more in irl friendships than internet friendships. I’ve been reconnecting with irl friends recently, and man, it feels good. Like I said in another post, too, I feel a lot better keeping to myself on tumblr now, so trust me, getting to know people in fandom isn’t always a good thing lol.

If someone genuinely makes a real, longtime friend through fandom? Great! I just think it happens a lot less often than people think, so don’t feel bad for not having any.