#Gesundheits-Checks

[brosis-medical]

Das „Gesunde Herz Gesetz“: Was Karl Lauterbachs neue Initiative für Sie bedeutet

Bundesgesundheitsminister Karl Lauterbach hat eine mutige Initiative zur Verbesserung der Herzgesundheit und zur Senkung der Zahl der herzbedingten Todesfälle in Deutschland vorgestellt. Herz-Kreislauf-Erkrankungen sind die häufigste Todesursache im Land, aber Lauterbach möchte das mit dem neuen Gesunden Herz Gesetz (GHG) ändern. Das Bundeskabinett hat diese Woche das Gesetz verabschiedet, das…

[yourplayersaidwhat]

DM: Alright you've got a giant worm rushing straight at you--

Farhomless Warlock: Shai-Hulud!

Paladin: Gesundheit.

Monk: Initiative?

DM: No, it's a Boreworm boring down on you like a freight train what do you do?

Fathomless: I can, after clearing 10 ft and getting out of range of the rest of the party, Thunderstep away with one other person. ...And now all of Undermountain knows we're here.

DM: Don't worry they already did.

Celestial Warlock: ...And I can Misty Step, is that enough to get away?

DM: Yes.

Celestial: Do you have a teleport spell Wizard?

Wizard: Yes but I thought I'd try something else... what does everyone weigh?

[Party is Lizardfolk Wizard, two Dragonborn, a big human guy, and a slender half-drow.]

(Half-Drow) Celestial Warlock: My character weighs the least as we established in the catacombs when you guys sent me over those very unstable rock bridges into the den of that giant slime monster alone. But again, I can Misty Step.

Wizard: Alright Fathomless, you take Paladin, I'll take Monk because she weighs less.

Monk: Mind telling us what you have in mind?

Wizard: I'm gonna use Tensers Floating Disk to avoid the Boreworm... wait. Can I ride on my own Floating Disk? *Checks rules.*

Fathomless: Dude, even if you could, wouldn't you just float there and get crushed unless Monk can carry you along when she makes a Step of the Wind?

Wizard: Awwwww, surfing on the floating disk would have been so cool though! [sighs] Fine I use a higher level spell slot to cast Dimension Door on me and Monk.

DM: Alright, you all arrive safely on the ledge above. You are safe... for now.

[thedevillionaire]

Above and Beyond

A “day in the life of” sort of thing - with a few complications, of course. Always and all ways, thank you SO much for reading. 💝

---

And it’s raining.

Again. 

Or, perhaps more accurately, still, Cerberus thinks bitterly, wiping his nose with a tissue barely up to the task. First the Ice chambers and now this absolute nonsense. He hasn’t visited the mortal plane for some time, too long ago to recall precisely when, but he does remember one thing clearly – it was raining then too. Heavier, not this…endlessly drizzling drip-torture affair, but raining.

Again. Still. 

“This damnable weather,” he mutters, more to himself than either of the two awestruck, hapless Demon novices looking up at him. And he can’t for the life of him work out what led to this situation in the first place. Sheer incompetence, apparently. How is it even possible for a basic possession to go so far awry? Just vacate the damn vessel, it’s not complicated, it’s a mortal. Honestly. Ridiculous pastime, possession, anyway. He’s never understood the appeal.

It's all frankly well beneath his station, and ludicrous that he’s here. Why the hell did he agree to this? He's not been thinking clearly all day. And it’s freezing. He’s freezing. The biting windchill whips through the steady, relentless damp, embellishing it, driving it bone-deep. Of all times for both Therion and Suspiria to be away. Who schedules these things? Nobody checks anything properly, he doesn’t…even… Damn it, he is not going to sneeze again. He presses the back of his hand against his nose with significant force in an attempt to quash the rising urge. And…who the hell is this now? He sniffles.

The unexpected and unrecognised arrival doesn’t waste time introducing himself as he starts to deliver his message. “Lord DeVille. I apologise for the intrusion, but if you cou…” 

A swiftly raised index finger halts his sentence.

“Ah-HEHTSHhuu!”

“Gesundheit, my lord.”

Upon receiving an irritated, perfunctory thank you, excuse me and an impatient signal to continue, the emissary nods once in acknowledgement, and does so.

“If you could attend the Healing wards as soon as practicable. I’m afraid there’s been an incident involving Kia.”

A moment of stunned silence as the world and everything in it falls away, irrelevant, meaningless, replaced by a purity of focus vehement and singular. Cerberus, eyes newly incandescent with every bit of that infamous green fire, flicks some stray damp hair back from his face, and wastes no further time.

“Anyone attempting to contact me will burn,” he says, and in a flash of flame is gone. 

---

His arrival at Healing is of course expected, and Riviera's well prepared for it. Less prepared, perhaps, for the usually imposingly stylish Demon king looking…well, more than a little sodden, really. Verging on bedraggled, she thinks, though she’d never say it. But with the look in his eyes as fiercely intent as she's ever seen, that is clearly of no priority right now, and she needs to hurry up and get down to business.

"Okay, well, the first thing you should know is that nobody hurt her, she did this to herself," she begins, adding a hasty, "Not on purpose!" at the expression that received. "No, she attempted a Media skill but unfortunately she was a bit out of her depth, and..."

Cerberus partially hears Riviera's words, taking them in as a wash of information—

...sort of like a concussion, shaken up, disoriented...

partially loses himself to trying to make sense of how things could have come to this—

Kia’s independence, her always pushing through her fears, her trust in herself, and more than that, her trust in him, he's never doubted her but she's...it's gone wrong and gods it stings that she didn’t come to him for help but he knows of course she wants to prove herself, prove she can do this on her own, that any successes would be truly hers and not due to the privilege of his assistance, but...but...

—and partially tries to resist any further surrender to...this damn...

hh-HH...

He recognises when the cause is lost quickly enough, though, turning away to cover an unstoppable, urgent couplet of sneezes in tightly crooked elbow, desperate need recurring.

“Hh-TSCHH-uu! Ah-TSSCHHhuu!"

"..thought she'd be able to manage," continues Riviera. "So we're just keeping her overnight for..."

"Huh-AHSSCHuu! *SNF!*"

"..observation," she concludes, offering him a casual blessing as he curses sotto voce, excuses himself and gathers several tissues from the box on the countertop. “You sound worse than she does, you know. Need anything for the cold?”

"I am cold, I don’t have one," Cerberus says, exasperation bringing a touch of sharpness to his tone even as encroaching congestion rips away the clarity of his consonants. It's beside the point, anyway. He blows his nose and incinerates the tissues. "Pardon me." A quick, soft sniffle. "I'm fine."

He still, for the most part, believes it. Though it would certainly be nice to be less...damp.

"So, no?" Riviera shrugs amicably. "Hm, okay." She’s not about to press him on the matter, despite the ambient temperature in Healing being notably and comfortably warm. “Anyway, um, Kia’s in – just a moment, let me check – yeah, chamber 3," she confirms, pointing down the relevant corridor. “She’s on some meds, so she might be a bit loopy, if she’s even awake.”

Cerberus acknowledges this, sniffling again, and takes another tissue from the countertop box to once more wipe his recalcitrant nose.

“You know, you’re in the right place if you change your mind about…” Riviera gives a little nod towards the tissue box. "Just saying."

“As I said, I'm fine. Thank you.”

He claims a couple more tissues as he leaves, all the same.

---

His beautiful bonded looks disconcertingly fragile, impossibly delicate, in these clinical surrounds - like she's some sort of precisely crafted porcelain imitation of herself, her mass of rich chestnut waves arrayed over the pillow, framing her in a dark halo stark against the too-bright white bedlinens. She's an illusion, a transience.

She doesn't belong here. She's far too vibrant, too irrepressible for this.

Or just irrepressible enough.

Cerberus sighs and ignores the chair provided, sitting instead beside Kia on the bed, and softly caresses her face.

“I understand why you’d have wanted to try this without me, but…” His voice tender, heartfelt. Confident that whatever the problem had been, he’d have been able to fix it. “Oh, love. I wish you hadn’t.”

Kia stirs, slightly waking to his touch, or sensing his presence on some deeper than conscious level, perhaps, and with a small mm of hazy recognition, reaches out to take his hand in hers, interlacing their fingers as she does so.

He rubs his nose and sniffles again, as quietly as he’s able, and frowns slightly at the very unwelcome thought that maybe he is coming down with something after all. Can't be. It’s just too much time spent being practically refrigerated, and for no good reason. Nevertheless, surely this...overreactive ridiculousness should have settled down by now, despite everything. Does his throat hurt? He's not sure. Possibly.

His breath catches softsharply, urgently – once, twice and twice again – and with no time to extricate his hand from Kia’s, he turns as best he can to smother a rapid, desperate triplicate of sneezes, each more insistent than the last, against his shoulder. “HUHschuu! Hhh-TSSCH-uu! Hhh...hh-HH… hhAHTSSCHUU!”

Kia fully awakens to that.

“Bless you,” she purrdrawls, her voice still thick with sleep and the Healing concoctions she’d taken earlier. She gazes up at him through a mix of delight, relief, devotion, gratitude, and desire, her lucidity mutable, unpredictably shifting.

“Gods, sorry, love. Excuse me,” Cerberus says from behind the tissues he’d grabbed earlier. “Not quite the greeting I’d intended.” He sniffles, and pushes some still-damp, disarrayed hair from his eyes. “Spent almost an entire day in the Ice chambers and then an utterly senseless trip to the mortal plane in all its – *snf!* – frigid delights, and now I… *SNFF!* Well, this. If you’ll – *snf!* – pardon me a moment…” He turns aside to blow his nose.

Kia props herself up against the bedhead a little. "Not a great day for the DeVilles, huh," she says with a gently wry smile, one which Cerberus mirrors, adding a hm of accordance as he immolates the spent tissues.

"Soooo, um...you know what happened here, right?" she checks.

He confirms it with a brief nod.

"You probably think I’m crazy."

"I think you’re wonderful." The sincerity in his voice is absolute, souldeep.  “You’re so brave, darkling.”

Kia smirks. “Incredibly brave,” she quips with a flourish, recalling a very earliest time between them, and a question he’d posed that they playfully revisit every now and then.

The two complete the quote together: “Or incredibly foolish.” They both laugh about it, as they’ve done many times before.

“Yeah.” With a smile verging on wistful, Kia gently strokes Cerberus along his forearm, her expression becoming more serious. “Babe, I know you’ll always go above and beyond for me, but sometimes it’s… It’s just… I mean… You can’t always help me. You can’t just give me everything.”

“I want to.”

“Oh, sweetheart. I know.” Kia presses a loving kiss to the back of her bonded’s hand. “And I’m sorry I scared you. But I’m okay, really, I…I very am, really very really, and I’ve had lots of…” She waves a hand vaguely in the direction of the treatments on the bedside table. “..the things, and I’m not in any pain or anything so you don’t need to be here and I…I guess you should probably go home.”

A wickedsoft chuckle of refutation. “No, I’m afraid I’m going to make rather a nuisance of myself, darkling.”

Kia laughs. "Good." She grins, a little woozily. "I didn't mean it, anyway. Hmm…" She takes a section of his shirt sleeve between her fingers, briefly rubbing. "You're more wet than usual," she asserts, peering at him as if she's cracked some secret code. “Wait, did we talk about this alrea…”

She breaks off as her beloved's breath sharpcatches staccato anew; without intent she inhales deeply alongside him, her fascinated focus almost as captive as his.

“HXXTchu! Ugh…” He groans, lightly coughing convulsively from the effort of stifling. And it was doomed to fail – he knows it, and he inhales again, deep and immediate, and doesn’t bother trying it a second time. “Huh-TSSCHH-uu!” Or…or apparently a third, and after a knife-edge pause and an escalated hitching of breath, he surrenders entirely and sneezes again – powerful, ferocious. “Hhh… hh-TSSCHH-uu!” With a fierce sniffle, he presses the back of his hand against his nose with a determination verging on brutal, but the insistent itch still unsated has his breath catching again. Brow creased, he gives over, capitulating altogether to the demanding need. “AAHHTSSCHHUU! Gods, fuck.”  

Kia loses herself to assorted altered states for a moment. "Bless you, you’re so gorgeous, oh my god,” she effuses, rush-of-energy lustlaced, and sends Cerberus a Mindsent doubled-up :Bless you bless you I love you: as he excuses himself, apologises and takes a very necessary moment of recovery.

A realisation occurs to Kia, watching him now, and she voices it: a soft but matter-of-fact you’re getting a cold.

Cerberus almost manages to begin some sort of unconvincing rebuttal, but Kia holds up her hand in a gentle interruption. “It's alright, you're very sexy so you’re allowed to be a bit dumb about some stuff," she says.

She gives a light giggle at his raised eyebrow and wry shake of his head, smiling, in response. Gazing at him both sweetly and covetously for just a little longer, the spike of energy rapidly fading, the state she’s in, she mumbles you work too hard, you know as she passes him the bedside tissue box with a kiss, before closing her eyes and curling up against his chest with a soft sound of contentment.

Cerberus strokes her hair, kisses the top of her head as he embraces her.  “When you’re well, we can go through the Media process of your choosing together, if you’d like,” he murmurs.

“Nuh-uh.” She taps his arm twice in drowsy correction. “When you’re well, we can.”

A knowing, indulgent smile curves her lips, and she curls up closer still.

---

[bewitchedfeathers]

Hayfever Season - Vo/x Snz Fic

I don’t know that I did very good at the cocky bastard bit, since I ended up craving some laid back QPR (queer platonic relationship) Vees, but have some hayfever Vox with concerned Vees. I hope it still satisfies! 

Please reblog only to kink blogs ❤️

—-

Vox sipped at his coffee where he was sitting with his legs curled under him between Velvette and Valentino. They’d come together in Val’s room to chat and prepare for a busy afternoon, but were mostly still waking up and enjoying each other’s company and the cool breeze coming in from the balcony doors.

Val was ranting about his next project and Vox was only half paying attention. Velvette had her head on his shoulder as she scrolled through her phone. Vox sniffed absent mindedly, vents whirring as he savored the calm.

“Are you even listening to me?” Val demanded shoving his foot against Vox’s thigh where their legs were partially tangled together.

“Yes, Val. But i don’t need to Snf know every detail. I’m sure you have it well in hand,” he reassured smoothly. Velvette didn’t even look up from her phone, giving a vague hum of assent.

Val huffed and crossed his arms with a pout and Vox chuckled and rubbed at Val’s ankle soothingly as he began checking his email using his internal systems so Val wouldn’t notice. Val sulkily pulled out a cigarette but seemed content to let it go without a fuss.

Vox cleared his throat and grimaced at the itchy feeling high in the back of it. He attempted to smother the feeling with a large swallow of coffee and huffed when it didn’t do very much. Then Val blew his smoke right at Vox. Vox glared at him, vents picking up speed to clear out the smoke. His eyes slitted and his gaze grew distant and bewildered for a moment before the vaguely itchy sensation grew into a burning tickle.

“Hhh’Hah-TZzshuhtt…Ugh, Val,” He complained as he hastily stifled his sneeze towards his free shoulder, “Aim towards the balcony fucking…ah-TZSHxt…Tzsht. Fuck.” He rubbed at his face irritably even though it didn’t really help. When he looked up he noticed Velvette watching him with a curious expression that he brushed off with a shrug of his other shoulder. “Gesundheit,” she offered neutrally. Val was grinning smugly, pleased with his little act of revenge.

“Asshole,” Vox grumbled but Val did blow the smoke away from him on his next exhale.

He tried to refocus on his email as Val and Vel both focused on their phones but the itching feeling in his vents and sinuses wasn’t easing in the least. He was forced to sniffle a few more times to try to clear the beginnings of congestion. He hadn’t reacted like this to Val’s smoke before unless in an enclosed space for a long period, so it didn’t make sense for it to be getting to him now. He ran his anti-virus software to double check he wasn’t fighting off something but it came back clean. 

His expression shifted into an irritated grimace as the tickle flared again. “Hhh..huh-ITZZzZSHHuhh…Hh’TZZXT…”

“Damn, Voxxy you getting sick?” Val asked with a teasing tone.

“I’m fine,” He grumbled with a roll of his eyes, “Just that damn smoke.”

“You know you like it,” Val purred blowing a smoke ring up towards the ceiling.

“Fuck you,” Vox said without heat as Val laughed. And they all returned to their electronics, moment over. Except the tickle was lingering, almost a burn high in his sinuses and he brought up a hand to muffle another sneeze into.

“Hhhhh’TZHHshhh…fucking heeh-TZZZshuh…” He jolted forward with the force of them and barely kept from spilling his coffee over his hand. 

“If you get me sick, Vox, I’ll fucking kill you,” Velvette said as she sat up giving him a look of suspicion.

“I’m fine. I’m not sick. It’s just Val’s…hh…smoke…”

“Vox, you never sneeze this much from Val’s smoke.” Velvette argued. Vox tried to insist but instead let out another sneeze. “Hhuh’Tzzshhuhh-TZzXT…”

Val put out his cigarette on the back of the couch. “Voxxy, seriously did you catch a nasty virus from some porn site?” His usual sassy tone was colored with a hint of concern that Vox might appreciate under less embarrassing circumstances.

“Hh’TZZshxt. SNF. I’m really fine. Somethings just…mehhh-making me..ESSHHzztt…sdneeze…” He sniffled and winced at the congested sound. 

“I’ve never seen you react like this to anything..” Velvette said as she looked around the space checking for anything new that might set him off. 

Vox tried to remember the last time he’d sneezed this much when he wasn’t sick and he’d definitely never reacted like this since he moved into Vee’s tower but there was a niggling feeling like he was forgetting something. He scanned back through his memories before that and he realized he had once. The pollen count had been incredibly high even for a miserable place like Hell and he hadn’t had access to all the cleaners and filtrations systems he had in the tower. Something that had been blooming had made an absolute mess of him and hadn’t lessened no matter what treatments he’d used. He’d had occassional hayfever symptoms since but nothing like that.

He looked at the open balcony doors and winced as floating specks of golden dust could be seen the morning light. Oh satan fucking bless it.

“Huh’TDZZshoo-EZZSHOO…” He sneezed into a clenched fist as he completely failed to stifle.

“Shit, Voxxy, you okay?” Val asked untangling their legs and sitting up. He took the coffee cup from Vox’s hand and Vox gave a nod of grateful acknowledgement as he brought his now free hand to rub at his vents.

“I’mb really finde. SnfSndf. I’ll just get cleand up and I’ll be…hhh…”

“If you say fine again, Vox…” Velvette threatened as she gave him a once over like she could tell if he was sick from a look.

“Hhh…you’re worrying over…ndothing…EZZSHHuh….hh’hh’EDzzshuh…” He rubbed at his eyes that were tearing up and growing itchy. He was sure his face was flushed pink with embarrassment and sneezy exertion. “ETZZzZzSHHuh…EXTzzsht-TZXT-Tsshxt…nghh..” He groaned after a mostly stifled triple made his throat ache. He noticed Val had disappeared just as he stepped back into Vox’s field of vision with a handkerchief that he offered to Vox with a concerned frown. 

“Well you’re definitely calling out sick today,” Velvette said in a no nonsense tone, “I won’t have whatever plague this is sweeping through my models.”

“I’mb ndot sick,” He snapped grumpily and then undermined himself with another sneeze that he muffled into the kerchief. “Heh’TZZsshhmph..”

“Then what is going on, amorcito?” Val purred as he sat next to Vox and ran a hand down his spine.

“Its…hayfever,” he admitted with an embarrassed grimace down towards his lap. Velvette and Val both looked disbelieving.

“Did you just randomly develop hayfever this bad since last spring?” Velvette interrogated.

“Ndo, it only acts up when thehhh-Heh’ZZSHoo the polled coudt gets bad. Otherwise it’s…hhh…EZZSHhhh….hh’TZzZshhhh badageable. I dod’t deed to leave Vee Tower that often and we have the beh-best filters…Hhhhhh…hh’’Heh’TZZHHshhoo…filters in the Pride ring here.” 

“I can see why you’re not the outdoorsy type,” Velvette snarked but gave him a sympathetic pat on his shoulder. Val laughed at the quip and Vox shot them both a watery eyed glare at how hypocritical it was for her to call him out on it when the three of them ran a tech empire in the middle of the city.

“Heh-EJZZSHHhh.. SNDF. Please close the…thhehh..Heh’TZZshh the balcony doors,” he finally asked wearily.

“Oh fuck,” Val cursed as he realized why Vox was being so affected now and forced them shut with a flap of his wings. Unfortunately this disturbed all of the pollen that had drifted inside, sending it whirling into the air. Vox groaned as he felt the need to sneeze overwhelm his senses.

“Hhh…Huhhhhh-HIH’EZzZzzzshhhoo! Eh’TzzSHXT…Etch-zzxt-TZZzxt-ITzzsht….Hhh’hohh fuuh-fuck…Heh’EH’TZZT-SHOO Ezsshuh…hh’EKTzzshhuh …HEISHHHzzzuhh… “

“Oh, Voxxy, poor baby,” Val cooed over him as he rubbed his back. Velvette summoned a large handkerchief and passed it to Val, who wiped at Vox’s vents. 

“Hhh…Huh’GZZSHeww…Heh’ZZSHHuhh…Huhhh…HUH’KZSHHhoo…Tzzsh-ITZzshh…Hhh’’ETZzzshoo…nggghhh…can’t stuh-stop-GZZSSHHuhh..”

Val rubbed more firmly at Vox’s vents and brushed a hand over the back of Vox’s neck with a low sympathetic hum. “There you go, Voxxy. Let those sneezes clear out all that pollen”

“I’ll let your assistant know you’ll be out today and take care of any ‘emergencies’ that come up,” Velvette offered, ever practical in her compassion.

“Huh’Tzztshuh…Hhh….hh’IZSHHoo…Snf..hh’Ihzshh..”

Vox groaned and took the handkerchief from Val to try to clean himself up the best he could. He was too tired from the fit to be mortified, but at least he knew Val wouldn’t be disgusted. 

“Sorry about that. I’mb sure I’ll be alright after a hh’tzzshh…shower. I can just start a little late today,” he wheezed.

“Gesundheit. You’re showering and then going to bed, Vox. Voxtech will be fine without you for a day.” Velvette insisted already taking care of things from her phone.

“And I’ll be on my best behavior, Voxxy. Just relax for a day. No one wants you working like this.”

Vox flushed as Val gestured to his dim watery eyes and his mussed appearance.

“Izzshuh..Fide. I’ll take the day.” He let out another tired sounding sneeze and conceded defeat. Val immediately scooped him up into his arms and Vox flailed with an electronic sounding “Val!”

“C’mon Voxxy, I’m taking you to bed to make sure you don’t just sneak off to your computer room.”

“And I’ll know if you access your email or anything else,” Velvette called out threateningly.

“I got it, I got it. I’ll go straight-Tzshht-Isshzt to bed Ih’ZZShhh…after I shower.” He directed the last part pointedly to Val. If Val dumped him in bed while he was covered in pollen he’d need to get everything cleaned. 

“I’ll help make sure you get all that pollen off you, Voxxy,” Val purred flirtatiously. Vox rolled his eyes and then sneezed.

—

I wasn’t sure if anyone would be interested in Vox/Val shower time so I cut it off there so you can decide if Vox locks him out of the bathroom to take a shower by himself or not.

Thank you for reading! Let me know if you liked it!

Still taking fic requests in my askbox for Hazbin Hotel and Helluva Boss. <3

{Snz Fic Masterlist}

[thewayitalknj]

Merry Christmas Everyone! I decided to participate in @littlexdeaths 's #thetwelvedaysofpromptmas 🎄

You can find all the prompts here and join in yourself! / Divider Credit

Hope you all have a wonderful holiday season and I hope you enjoy! :)

⋆⁺₊❅. day nine: a very merry hellfire >The flu hits you at a rough time, but your friends find a way to make you feel better ; Word Count - 615

“It’s the most wonderful time of the year…”

“No the fuck it’s not.” You slam your car radio off - “ACHOO!!” This time you hit your steering wheel. What is supposed to be the most jolly and joyful season is becoming more tragic and uneventful. 

First, your parents’ flight got canceled because of a snow storm. Second, your packages were running late due to delays. Third, you woke up feeling like absolute shit and had to take yourself to urgent care ; only to find out you have been blessed with the flu.

After the long and dreadful drive home, you laid out your medications and put on your comfiest PJs, ready to hit the sack and try to forget about how horrible the last few weeks have been. As if anything could have gotten worse you realized you wouldn’t be able to hang out with your friends for their holiday festivities, including your D&D groups finale of an epic campaign you have been on the last few weeks.

“Shit, I gotta call someone.” You pick up your phone and find Eddie’s contact, putting it on speaker knowing if you put the receiver to your ear he would just be screaming and would, or could, possibly blow your eardrum in that second.

A few rings pass, but no answer. You sigh waiting for the voicemail’s final beep, “Hey Eddie, it’s me. I’m so sorry but I’m going to miss Hellfire tonight. I-*COUGHING UP A LUNG* have the flu. I’m so sorry I can’t make it but I’ll be there in spirit. Give everyone my love, let me know how it goes tomorrow if you can. Thanks, bye.” 

Hanging up felt like a relief. You sigh and flick on the TV to find a Harry Potter marathon.

***********************************************************************

One pack of crackers, one bowl of soup, one glorious shower,  two movies and half way through the Prisoner Of Azkaban later and you still felt like shit. It honestly felt like the end of the world at this point. Just as Hermonie punches Malfoy your phone goes off. A text, from Dustin. 

You thought maybe Eddie got your voicemail and he was just checking in himself, but were confused when it read ‘ Join my Zoom Link! … ’

“Huh?” You walk over to your laptop that was left in the kitchen. Wrapping yourself in a blanket and taking a seat at the island you click on the link, finding Eddie, Dustin and a few other friends from Hellfire in the meeting waving at their cameras.

“Hey! How are you feeling?!” Dustin asks.

“Like shit. Thanks for checking in on me everyone but, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean what’s going on? We got an evil yeti to slay and take down!”

“Wait, you’re…having Hellfire…over Zoom?”

“Of course,” Eddie speaks up. “I may be kicking your ass within the world of D&D with this campaign but we’re a team on the outside. We couldn’t do this without you.”

You shake your head in disbelief, they went through all of this planning for you?

“Wow guys, you really didn’t have to do this.”

“Yes we did! Besides, it’s the holidays! It’s meant to be spent with friends and family!” Lucas answers. 

Eddie’s box lights up green, “We won’t be starting for another 10 minutes. Garth is running a bit late, can you get your notes and shit together?”

“Sure! That’s plenty of time! Thanks guys really, this means a lot more than you think-*ACHOO.*”

“BLESS YOU!” “GESUNDHEIT!” "YOU'RE SOOOO GOOD LOOKIN!" They all smile and laugh as you head off to find your things.

This was defiantly the pick me up you needed, just maybe the holidays wouldn’t be so bad after all.

And it’s all because of your best friends.

***********************************************************************

Quick Notes - just because I can, here's my fav bands Christmas Song :)

[softblesses]

Summer Colds.

In which Neal and Elizabeth suffer, and Peter is there to fix it.

Pretty much another classic sick fic of my favourite hyperfixation rn! Please don’t reblog to non kink/whump blogs. Hope you enjoy!

Part 1.

“You’re sick,” Mozzie stated matter of factly, whilst wandering alongside Neal, in the streets of New York.

“I’m fine.” Neal muttered back, rubbing a knuckle under his nose in an attempt to put a stop to the itch.

“You’re not fine! You never sneeze. Like, ever, so unless you can explain the past ten minutes? I’m staying ten steps away, my friend. Ten. Steps. Away.”

“Mozz, you’re being dramatic. It’s nothing, it’s just —“ Neal stopped walking, bringing his elbow to his face. Mozzie was right, but he was hanging on to the small dregs of hope that this was all random and he wasn’t getting sick after all.

‘Heh’kshu!’ The sneezes told a different story.

“Gesundheit. Now, why don’t we do the sensible thing and double back to June’s instead of breakfast? You can go to bed, I’ll get you some medicine and then I’ll make scarce!” Mozzie took a few steps back towards Neal, rolling his eyes at the sound of his cellphone ringing.

He folded his arms, tapping his foot as he listened to his friend speak. “The suit wants you to work?” He questioned, after Neal hung up.

“Elizabeth’s workplace got robbed,” Neal explained, pocketing the phone. “She’s okay, but Peter wants to investigate. Don’t look at me like that, Moz. It’s just a stuffy nose. It’s probably just… allergies, or something.”

“You don’t get any kind of pollen allergies, wise guy.” Mozzie pointed out. “Let me know if El needs my… expertise. I’ll be at breakfast, while you go and tango with the bureau, Sneezy.”

“Yeah, yeah. See you later, Mozzie.” Neal watched him walk away, checking his watch; Peter would be here to pick him up soon.

After almost ten minutes, Peter was parking by the sidewalk and Neal climbed into the back seat; they were picking up Elizabeth, so he naturally assumed she’d go up front.

“Hey, Neal.” Peter greeted, and it was already obvious he was stressed.

“I’m sure Elizabeth is fine,” Neal replied, buckling his seatbelt.

His handler only sighed, driving off again. “I told her to stay home today,” he continued, without acknowledging Neal’s statement.

“Stay home?”

“Yeah… she’s sick, and she already worked from home for a couple days. I just — well, El thinks I’m being too dramatic. It’s just a cold, but, still.”

Ah. That explains how Neal caught what he has. “You worry a lot,” he confirmed. “But, I’m sure Elizabeth appreciates it. She’ll be okay, and I’m sure she’ll work from home tomorrow.”

There was a long pause, before Peter sighed again. They stopped in traffic, and he took a look in the mirror back at Neal. “Maybe you’re right,” he hummed.

“I’m right? Really?”

“Alright, don’t push it.”

“Are you sure you’re not getting sick?” Neal teased, although unbeknownst to Peter he was the one feeling under the weather; Neal’s throat itched, and so did his ears, and he couldn’t breathe through his nose or he’d sniffle and it would make him sneeze again.

“My immune system is top notch, and you know it.” Peter pointed out. “I’m feeling fine.”

“Even when sleeping with Elizabeth?”

Peter shot him a glare in the mirror, and Neal held up his hands. I meant sleeping as in sharing a bed! That’s a sure fire way to get sick.” He scrunches his nose, trying his best to quell the ever growing itch.

“Huh. And, you’d know, wouldn’t you?” The man jested back, falling quiet as they neared their destination.

Neal rolled his eyes at Peter’s comment, but for lack of energy and realisation that he was about to park the car again, he stayed quiet. Peter told him to stay put, and explained that he wasn’t going in as FBI — Elizabeth had a bunch that the lead thief was one of her colleagues. It was an interesting sounding case, but right now the CI was too focused on holding back a sneeze. And, as soon as Peter had closed his car door and stepped away from it, Neal buried his face into his elbow and inhaled sharply.

‘Hh’sSHhu, k—tch’tcH. Ugh. Shit.’ He sighed, making quick work of blowing his nose into the handkerchief in his pocket, placing it back just in time for Peter to open the door for Elizabeth.

“Honey, I promise, I’m fine — hey, Neal — a little shaken up, I guess, but I feel alright! You worry too much.” Elizabeth huffed a little, waiting for her husband to get in the car beside her. She didn’t sound extremely sick, but Neal could definitely hear the congestion in her voice.

Peter climbed in the car, and leaned across to feel El’s forehead. She didn’t look impressed. “I know, I know. I worry too much! We have to take your statement back at the office, is that okay? I’ll work from home after that.”

Neal’s eyebrows raised a little at that.

“You’re coming too, Neal. You’re not getting out of work that easily.” It was like Peter had read his mind. “We can —“

‘hu’tsh, tch, tshh. . Huh’tcHoo.’

“Bless you,” Peter and Neal rang in sync, whilst the agent continued to rub his wife’s back.

“Sorry,” El apologised softly, pocketing her tissue and leaning back in the seat with a heavy sigh.

“It’s okay, Hon. Neal, I’ll explain everything to you when we get to my place. Let’s get this statement over with so we can all relax.” Peter leaned across to kiss El on the cheek, before starting up the car.

•••

The conference room was dark, with the shutters closed and the lights turned off. It was like a welcoming blanket of calm, and immediately Neal felt the ache in his head dissipate a little. He quietly closed the door, glancing over at El, who was sitting on the couch scrolling through her phone, on low brightness mode.

“Neal,” she greeted softly. “Everything okay?”

“Peter sent me to check on you,” it was only a tiny, white lie. “And, I’d much rather sit in here with you. Peter gets grumpy when he’s worried.” Neal muttered, wandering in and closing the door behind him.

Elizabeth watched him for a moment, eyebrows raised. “Really? No other reason?” She questioned, still watching him.

“No other reasons.” Neal took a seat in one of the spinning chairs by the conference room table, and rubbed his eyes. They were almost as itchy as everything else; his nose itched, his ears felt stuffy as well as itchy. . . He was starting to feel worse, and if anyone was going to figure him out, it was Elizabeth Burke.

“Neal, are you okay? You’ve been acting off since we were in the car.” Elizabeth pressed on, and Neal sighed in semi-defeat.

“If I told you I had a headache, would you stop asking?” Neal muttered, trying not to sound agitated, and somewhat failing.

There was a pause, and El coughed slightly. “No. Does your throat hurt?” She continued, and Neal spun a little in his chair.

“Maybe.”

“Stuffy nose?”

“A little.”

“So, you’re sick. I knew it.” Elizabeth muttered.

“Which means, this is my fault,” she concluded next. “I’m sorry, Neal.”

He shook his head, reaching into his pocket for the silk handkerchief he’d been hiding away. He rubbed at his nose, and sniffled; revealing the oncoming congestion he’d been trying so hard to cover up for the past couple of hours. “It’s not your fault,” Neal finally spoke, pocketing the handkerchief.

“Know anyone else with a summer cold?” El quipped back, and he could imagine the look she was currently giving him.

With a heavy sigh, Neal leaned to rest his head against his arms, on the tabletop in front of him. “Elizabeth B — wait, what’s your middle name?” Neal asked, sitting up again and squinting over at her.

“Why?”

“Just.. humour me, just for a second.”

“It’s Laura.”

Neal inhaled, and stood up. “Elizabeth Laura Burke, why are you so irritatingly observant?” He exhaled, sniffling afterwards.

A laugh fell from her lips at that, which proceeded into a cough covered by a fist. “Marrying an FBI agent might have had something to do with it,” she smiled, patting the space next to her. “Neal George Caffrey, you know it’s alright to let your guard down here, hmm?” El’s voice softened, watching him as he sat.

He shifted slightly, and El could tell that he was uncomfortable. Although, the eventual albeit very quiet “I know,” was comforting. “That’s why I told you so easily.” Neal murmured, leaning back against the couch with a shiver.

“And, because whatever meds you dosed up with this morning are starting to wear off?” Elizabeth teased, gently reaching to feel his forehead. A little warm, but nothing alarming.

“Stop being right.” Neal grumbled, before quickly leaning away and burying his face into the crook of his arm.

‘Hu—ngxT. . . HheisHhhoo—ugh.”

“Bless you,” Elizabeth murmured, rummaging around in her purse for a new packet of tissues, and gently nudging him before offering them out.

Neal practically whined, taking a moment to use one of the tissues, before leaning back against the couch with another little shiver. Elizabeth frowned, about to suggest asking Peter to take them home sooner, when the glass door behind them opened.

“Sorry that took so long,” Peter’s voice announced. “Ready to go?”

The CI’s demeanour was quick to change — he sat up straight, cleared his throat and plastered on a signature Neal Caffrey smile in greeting. “Am I still coming?” He questioned nonchalantly, scrunching his nose and trying his absolute best not to sniffle again.

“Yep,” Peter responded. “We’re working from home today. Which means better coffee and some proper rest for El.” He offered out his hand for his wife, who stood and wandered towards him. She took a glance back at Neal, that was wordlessly saying ‘are you going to tell him, or am I?’ But, the CI simply followed behind them, shaking off whatever discomfort he was currently feeling for now.

Seconds after leaving the comfort of the dark room behind them, both Elizabeth and Neal squinted at the harsh lighting that illuminated the bullpen. Barely seconds later, the pair both paused and comedically in sync sneezes caused Peter to stop in his tracks and turn. “Bless y—whoever just sneezed.” He frowned, watching his wife continue to do so, and Neal turn around to put his back to him.

‘Hhh—ngxXt.’ The CI spun back around, sniffling desperately, and faced with a quizzical look from Peter.

“What, you’re sick too, now?” He questioned, folding his arms.

Neal shook his head. “The lights are too bright, Peter. You should really get someone to — snf — fix that.” He straightened himself up, and glanced sideways at El, who didn’t seem all that pleased with the holdup.

“Right,” Peter muttered, gesturing for the pair to follow him again.

“You wouldn’t understand. Having striking blue eyes isn’t all fun and games,” Neal continued, ignoring the look he got from Elizabeth beside him. He didn’t want to tell Peter he felt lousy, not yet. It was awkward, and he wasn’t used to being so open about vulnerability… besides, he just needed some more meds and he’d be fine to work the case.

On the elevator ride back down, El wrapped her arms around Peter and rested her head against his chest. It was obvious that her meds were wearing off too, although all Neal could do was uncomfortably shift on his feet until they reached the parking garage. He shivered, rubbing his eyes again, and followed Peter and El to the car in silence. Even when sitting in the back, he was uncharacteristically quiet, and at this point Peter wasn’t very convinced that his excuses earlier were true… because, a quiet Neal Caffrey was always something to be suspicious of.

When they got back, El told Neal to wait upstairs and she’d find him something comfortable to wear. Peter waited until the CI was out of earshot, before turning to his wife with a questioning expression. He led her into the living room, bringing her into his arms and waiting a moment before speaking.

“El,” he began. “What’s wrong with Neal?” He figured that if Neal was going to tell anyone, it would probably be El.

His wife faltered, looking up at him with a slightly guilty look. “Why would he tell me?” She replied, resting her head back against Peter’s chest with a congested sigh.

“Because you’re Elizabeth Burke — kind, soft, warm and caring. I can imagine Neal would talk to you, given the right circumstances… you were alone, maybe his guard was down.”

“Well, I kinda guessed. He eventually told the truth.” Elizabeth admitted. “I feel awful about it. I didn’t want to get anyone sick.”

Peter pressed a kiss to the top of her head. “Speaking of awful, how are you feeling now?” He asked, leaning back to look at her.

“A little less than awful.”

“But, not great?”

Elizabeth shook her head. “D’you still need me to help with anything in the case?” She asked quietly.

“All I need for you to do is go and change into something comfortable and lie down. We can talk work later, once you’ve rested. I’ll come check on you in a half hour… I guess I should check on Neal too, huh?”

“I’ll check on him before I go to bed. I love you.”

[skyward-floored]

OKAY ITS DONE here, Incredibles au thing that got way too long, and I had to force myself not to add more. It was supposed to be just a short little sickfic darnit. Takes place maybe year after Lost Time, but it doesn’t have much to do with it. That’s just where things are time-wise XD

Minor warning for some throwing up, it’s not graphic, but it’s there.

Ao3 link

————————————————————

Warriors covered his mouth as he let out a huge yawn, absently pouring cereal into his bowl while he listened to the rain patter relentlessly against the window.

Being forced to get up so early for school was an absolute crime in his opinion. He didn’t really mind getting up on the earlier end of things, but it was barely even light outside, not to mention a dreary, wet sort of day that nobody should have to go out in.

Warriors wished it was an actual crime. Then he’d have an excuse to do something about it.

“I won’t be here when you guys get home from school, I’ve got patrol and a double-shift,” Time apologized as he walked past the table, grabbing a bag with his lunch in it as he pulled on his coat. “If you need anything after school you can ask Gaepora, okay? And if anything serious happens—”

“Don’t worry about it Time, we’ll be fine,” Warriors said with a wave. He’d been so clingy since Majora. “You better go before you’re late.”

Time sighed, and made the expression Warriors knew was him checking his internal clock. “I know, I know. I’ll see you at dinner, have an uneventful day at school,” Time teased, and ruffled Warriors’ hair all over the place before heading out the door.

Warriors grumbled as the door shut, spending the next several minutes smoothing his hair back down. He then went back to eating his cereal and staring mindlessly at the puzzle on the back of the box, koroks smiling as they danced around a word search.

Nothing like a dumb puzzle and cold cereal to get the brain going for the day.

The words had all been found but one (he couldn’t find crispy anywhere, which was ironic, because his cereal hadn’t been crispy even before he’d dumped the milk on it), and Warriors was about to see what had happened to his brother when a creak above him signaled Sky finally getting out of bed.

Cutting it a little close, Warriors thought as he glanced at the clock. Sky was a sleepy guy, but he was usually up before now. They’d have to rush to make it to the bus stop on time.

Sky trailed down the stairs as Warriors grabbed his backpack and boots, wings dragging behind him as he yawned.

“Grab an apple or something Sky, we need to go,” he said, pulling his scarf over his shoulders, and Sky mumbled a reply, stifling a cough in his arm.

Warriors paused at the lackluster response, and watched as Sky grabbed a handful of cereal, nibbling on it as he slowly retracted his wings and pulled down his shirt. He movements were slow as he began pulling on his rain gear, and Warriors raised an eyebrow.

“You good Sky?” he asked, giving him a suspicious look.

“Yeah, I’m okay,” Sky answered, with a bright smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. “Just... just tired. I didn’t sleep the best.”

Warriors looked him over again, noticing that Sky’s normal eye bags were darker than normal, and how his face looked a little pale. It might have been Warriors’ imagination, but he thought he might have been shaking a little as well, and as he stared, Sky sneezed harshly into his arm.

“Gesundheit. Sky are you sure you’re okay? You... could always stay home,” Warriors suggested, but Sky shook his head, slipping on his own boots and backpack.

“I’m fine Wars, I’m not staying home because I didn’t sleep enough,” he scoffed lightheartedly. “Quit worrying, ‘m fine.”

Warriors met his gaze, and Sky met it in turn, the look in his eyes almost daring him to keep pressing the issue. But Warriors couldn’t really prove anything, and without Time as backup, there was no way he’d be able to get Sky to stay at home, even with his growing suspicion that there was something wrong further than too little sleep.

“...if you’re sure,” Warriors finally said, still feeling suspicious.

“Positive,” Sky assured, then gave him a smile as he walked past him out the door into the chilly, wet morning.

Warriors watched him go, then followed afterwards, a lump of worry settling into his gut.

(...)

Warriors and Sky didn’t share many morning classes, so once they got to school, Warriors spent most of his time worrying about him from a distance, trying to catch glances of him in the hall, and debating if his worry was really justified.

After all, Sky sometimes just didn’t sleep well. He had nightmares the same as Warriors did, and sometimes they were bad enough to keep him up at night. A singular sneeze and a few unsteady movements really weren’t a sign of anything wrong.

There really was no reason for him to still be worrying over Sky, and by the time lunch had rolled around, Warriors had mostly silenced the little voice in his head that was fretting.

Until he actually saw Sky, anyways.

Warriors caught sight of his brother from across the room, and froze, entirely forgetting about the growling in his stomach. Sky looked absolutely awful from where Warriors could see him sitting, paler than this morning and quite obviously not touching his lunch. The worry roared back to life in Warriors’ stomach, and he slipped past the crowds of people in the cafeteria and joined his side.

Sky was arguing with Sun over something, and didn’t notice him walk up, until Warriors touched his shoulder anyways. Then he startled and looked over, and Warriors grew even more worried.

Up close he could see Sky’s cheeks were flushed, in stark contrast to the pallid tone of the rest of his face. He was noticeably trembling now, and Warriors grabbed his arm, giving him an intent look.

“Sky, you look terrible,” he said worriedly, and Sky frowned.

“Gee, thanks,” he grumbled, looking annoyed. “Everybody keeps saying that.”

“Probably because you look like death warmed over,” Sun said from next to him, her face full of worry. “Seriously Sky, it couldn’t hurt to have the nurse check you out, right?”

“I said I’m fine,” Sky said shortly, and poked at his sandwich a bit.

“I think Sun is right,” Warriors replied, then tried to tug Sky to his feet. “We should go see the nurse.”

“I’m fine Wars, how many times do I have to say it?” Sky said sourly, but Warriors could hear the rasp in it now, and the lump of worry in his stomach grew.

“Sky, you’ve been looking worse and worse all day,” Sun said, getting to her feet as well, “I really think you should go see the nurse. Now.”

“I think so too,” said one of the other people at the table, an older boy named Pipit. The girl next to him nodded as well. “Sky, you look awful.”

“I’m fine!” Sky snapped, then immediately looked ashamed at the outburst, turning away from the table with his arms crossed tightly over his stomach. “Seriously guys, just leave me alone, I’m okay,” he mumbled, and Warriors exchanged looks with Sun.

He carefully extended a hand and placed on Sky’s forehead, his stomach falling at the heat radiating off of it. Sky looked even shakier than he had been now that he was standing up, and Warriors decided that enough was enough.

“Sky, you need to see the nurse, you’re burning up,” he said firmly, and began to tug him away.

Sky tugged back though, and Warriors was surprised at how strong his grip was despite how much his hand was shaking.

“No I don’t,” Sky bit back, and Sun stood up as well.

The rest of the people at the table they’d been sitting at were staring openly now as Warriors tried to tug Sky away, but his brother was putting up quite the struggle despite how awful he looked.

“Sky please,” Sun begged, going to Warriors’ side and helping him pull at their stubborn friend. “We’re worried about you, you almost fell over earlier in Science! Can you just—”

“Hey Sun!”

“Oh not now,” Sun groaned under her breath as a boy with large red hair sauntered up to their table, trailed by two other boys.

Groose, the most annoying person in the entire school in Warriors’ opinion, took in the scene with his hands on his hips, eyes trailing over Warriors and Sun with their arms on Sky, who was shivering openly now and looking less pale and more green.

He burst into mocking laughter.

“What the heck are you losers doing now?” Groose snorted, and jabbed Sky in the chest. “Looks like little Sky isn’t doing so hot, huh? He need some chicken soup and a kiss on the forehead to feel all better?”

Groose smirked down at Sky as his lackeys laughed, but it was at that moment that Sky lost the battle against his body.

He put a hand to his mouth, and Warriors barely had time to figure out what was about to happen and get out of the way before Sky lurched over and emptied out everything that was in his stomach... right on to Groose’s shoes.

There was a split second of silence as shock passed over Groose’s face, his eyes wide as he stared down at his ruined sneakers.

And then the cafeteria broke into pandemonium as Groose began yelling, his lackeys jumping backwards with disgusted looks on their faces. Kids were hollering at the sight and those that hadn’t seen were trying to figure out what had happened, and at least one adult was yelling for order. But Warriors’ focus was solely on Sky, who was shivering so hard it looked like he was about to collapse where he was still bent over.

Sun handed him a napkin to wipe off his mouth with, and Warriors put an arm on his shoulder again and attempted to steer him out of the cafeteria, Sun doing the same on his other side.

There was so much going on it was difficult to make any headway though, people pointing and worrying and laughing at what had happened. Right as Warriors was about to start shoving people, a larger hand settled on Sky’s back, and steered all three of them out into the hallway.

Warriors looked up to see Mr. Owlan, one of the teachers Sun’s father worked with, who was looking at the three of them with a concerned expression.

“Mr. Owlan? Why aren’t you at the high school?” Sun asked confusedly, and the teacher hummed.

“I was here to substitute for the morning, one of the science teachers is sick. I suppose it’s a good thing I stayed for lunch,” he said as he looked at the three of them.

Warriors swallowed. “We weren’t trying to do anything except get Sky to come see the nurse,” he quickly explained, and Owlan nodded.

“I’m aware. You three weren’t exactly being quiet. I was actually about to come over before Sky... gave us a very good reason for why he needs to go to the nurse.”

Sky moaned a little, and Owlan’s face softened as he studied him, placing a wrist on his forehead and frowning when he noticed him shivering.

“I’ll call your brother and see about getting Sky home. He—”

“He’s working, you won’t be able to reach him,” Warriors interrupted, then winced slightly at Owlan’s expression. Time would be on patrol about now, and Warriors didn’t want Owlan to call him and be treated to the sound of his older brother beating up bank robbers or something.

Their teacher lowered his arm from Sky’s forehead, and leveled Warriors with a raised eyebrow.

“He’s completely unavailable?” he asked in a disapproving voice.

“Yes, but we live next door, my father can come and take him home,” Sun quickly put in. Owlan blinked at her earnest expression, then chuckled a bit.

“That certainly sounds like your father. In that case, I’ll go call him and see about getting Sky picked up,” he directed at Sun and Warriors, and they nodded as he folded his hands behind his back. “In the meantime, I think you two should take him to the nurse’s office. He can rest there until he can be picked up.”

“Thank you Mr. Owlan,” Sun said politely, and Warriors gently tugged Sky away, Owlan turning and heading for his office.

Warriors and Sun guided Sky down the hall and towards the nurse’s office, the hallways feeling strangely quiet after the cacophony of the lunchroom. It wasn’t until they reached the door of the nurse’s office that Sky finally spoke, and when he did, his voice was small and embarrassed.

“I really thought I could make it through the day,” Sky whispered, and Sun gave him a look.

“I don’t know how,” she said with an eye roll, but gave Sky’s arm a warm squeeze as they went inside. “How are you feeling Sky? Really feeling?”

Warriors watched Sky as they sat down on a bench inside the office, his brother hesitating. But after a moment his shoulders slumped in defeat, and he rubbed a hand against his face.

“...Pretty bad,” he murmured finally. “I just feel... dizzy. And achy, kind of. Stomach hurts.”

“Are you going to be sick again?” Warriors asked quietly, and Sky gave him a tiny shrug.

“Not right this second,” he mumbled, looking miserable. Warriors frowned, and looked around for anyone coming before coating his hand in just a bit of ice, resting it on Sky’s forehead.

Sky leaned into the touch with a sigh, and Sun squeezed his arm before getting up and going down the hall to get Sky some water. In the meantime, Warriors and Sky waited in silence for the nurse to finish whatever it was she was doing and see them.

Warriors couldn’t help but watch Sky as they waited, a faint look of discomfort on his brother’s face. His raspy breathing seemed louder in the quiet of the office, and Warriors held back a sigh as Sky coughed.

So much for an uneventful day at school.

“Why didn’t you want to just stay home, Sky? It would’ve been okay,” he asked quietly. Sky looked down at his feet, not replying for several moments.

“I didn’t want to bother Time,” he whispered. “You and him have done so much for me, and he would have had to stay home and you’ve been dealing with a lot lately, I...”

He shook his head, and coughed into his arm.

“...I didn’t want to add to it,” he mumbled.

“Time wouldn’t have minded, Sky,” Warriors said gently, and Sky kept looking at his feet. “We’re your family you know, we take care of each other. Even if it means missing a day or two of work.”

“His work is important,” Sky mumbled, and Warriors squeezed his arm.

“So are you, Sky.”

His brother swallowed again, but didn’t resist when Warriors tugged him over to lean on his shoulder.

Sun came back with a cup of water for him only moments later, and Sky gladly rinsed out his mouth. Warriors thought he looked a better after sipping the rest, a little less sickly-looking and pale. Though that might have just been the lighting in the room.

“You know, I feel a little bad for Groose, but... his face was pretty funny, wasn’t it,” Sun said after a minute, her lip twitching.

“He’s going to be so mad the next time he sees us,” Warriors replied with a held-back snicker, mind flashing back to Groose’s expression of utter shock.

“I’m never gonna hear the end of it,” Sky groaned. Warriors looked over at him, but Sky was smirking, a glint in his eye. “I just hope he doesn’t make me buy him new shoes.”

Warriors let out a snort, and he and Sun both broke into laughter, Sky joining them after only a moment.

All three were still laughing when the nurse finally came out to see them.

[quickspinner]

Weekly Lukanette Link Roundup

What is the Weekly Roundup? | Previous Weekly Roundups

From @mystic-myrtille: The Soulmate Train Ch 3

From @rierse: In Your Dreams Ch 13 | Ch 14| Luck Be a Lady Ch 4

From @omnoramayday: Hymn for the Missing Ch 4

From @verfound: Some People Say 'Gesundheit'

If I missed something that should be included, reblog, reply, DM, or drop the link in my asks and I’ll make sure it goes on next week’s roundup! If you prefer not to be included in these roundups for any reason please drop me a message, or if you post something that you would like to be sure I include, please drop a link in my asks and I’ll make sure it gets listed (Lukanette endgame only please - see what is the weekly roundupfor more details). If you want to be sure I’ve flagged your work for inclusion you can check the quickroundup tag on my blog to see what I’ve got in the queue for this week.

If you find something you like please like/reblog the original post to let the author know you enjoyed their work!

[his-tamine]

idk why but "bless you," "gesundheit," or just the general idea of responding to a sneeze is so endearing.

like just the fact that, say, if someone sneezes in public even a complete stranger oftentimes cares enough to respond by briefly acknowledging it, checking up on you, & sending good intentions your way, (i.e. blessings, wishes of good health, etc.) is absolutely fucking adorable.

[gabriel-xander]

Don't Forget

[Sans x Female!Reader]

6: Whaaat? Nooo! Things are Definitely NOT Getting Suspicious!

A/N: So, Sans is a skeleton monster. Yes, he doesn’t have “muscles or skin”, but he’s still a monster. So it’s less that he’s a skeleton, and more so that he’s a monster that looks like a skeleton. That being said, every time I want to write “he raised an eyebrow,” or “his muscles twitched,” I REALLY don’t want to have to clarify “not actual muscles because he’s a skeleton, but he’s still a monster so the same logic still applies to him” EVERY TIME 😭 So please hold those comments and let me make my life a little easier 😭 thank you and Gesundheit!!

Anyway, thank you for reading, and please enjoy this chapter!

♪───✿⁠(⁠✧◕⁠ᴗ⁠◕✧⁠)✿⁠────♪

THIS SHIT IS HARD!!!

Tears pool in your eyes, agony reflects in pools of [e/c] and frustration colors your expression.

“TORIELLL!!”

“Yes, my child?”

“THIS SHIT HARD!!”

She smiles in amusement, holding in a chuckle, “It’s not so bad. It’s your second attempt and it already looks like a Froggit…. If… If you squint…”

You sigh with a defeated smile, “You’re right, you’re right. It’s just… One of my toxic traits is thinking I can do anything without any prior practice or skill.”

“That must be difficult to cope with.”

“Oh, dude. Like you wouldn’t believe.”

So, crocheting isn’t going as well as you’d hoped. You would think that your desire to become a Surgeon would mean that your hands are pretty steady. They’re… steady enough, you suppose. It could just be a major case of Skill Issue™ that is holding you back. Your spirits are beginning to be affected by this, though.

This is the third time Toriel has tried introducing you to a new hobby just for you to fail miserably. Six days ago, you two were trying out knitting. Then three days ago, you two tried clay sculpting. And today? It’s crocheting.

You’re not actually complaining though, you’re having a lot of fun despite your failed attempts! More accurately, you’re having fun hanging out with the goat mom so it doesn’t matter if you were bad at this stuff. You understand that the reason why she’s doing this is because she wants you to have fun and not be bored having to stay inside all the time. You really appreciate the effort she’s putting in, so the most you can do is try to give each of these activities a genuine shot.

You shake your head to get back in the game, “Okay, okay. Let me try again, I think I can do it right this time.”

────

You flip to the next page of a random history book you’ve been reading. “Trapped behind the barrier and fearful of further human attacks, we retreated. Far, far into the earth we walked, until we reached the cavern's end. This was our new home, which we named… “Home.” As great as our king is, he is pretty lousy at names.”

“Oh shit, it’s this book!” You perk up with a smile, “I’ve been looking for this damn book. It only took me two and a half weeks of being here and going through the whole shelf. Why is it all the way down here?”

With Toriel out of the house yet again, you decided to take up reading once more. Toriel leaves the house for a few hours every day, she always goes to the very beginning of the Ruins (where you fell in) to check if another human has fallen down. You wonder if one of these days Toriel will come home with that child. Would Frisk be thrown off by your presence? Or will they, for some reason, find you as a threat and try to Reset in the hopes of getting rid of you?

Nah, Frisk isn’t that type of person. They have jerk dialogue options in the Pacifist route, but you never consider them to be true to Frisk. The possibility still makes you nervous.

The history book isn’t very long, and before long you reached the last page. You’re about to put it back but decide to move it to the middle of the shelf instead. You can’t explain it, but it feels better in that spot instead.

Hm…

You put your hands on your hips. Well, you guess you can try painting before Toriel gets back for lunch.

────

It’s been three and a half weeks, and Toriel is running out of options for you. She’s considering getting you a job in the small city in the Ruins so you have something to do. In your boredom, you’ve read most of the books in her home, you cook for her now all of the time, and you clean all the time, too. You only seem to like doing the other hobbies if Toriel is there to do it with you.

She knows, though, that you really need to get out of the house. You’re young, energetic, and adventurous; despite your resolve to understand that if you’re not careful, you could be killed, she knows that you can’t stay inside all the time.

So, she goes to a friend for help.

“Actually, before I must go,” Toriel says a little hesitantly, “There is something I’d like to ask of you. I-I’d like a favor.”

Sans’ smile becomes a little strained, though he supposes it doesn’t matter if he keeps up that facade since there isn’t anyone around. But it takes more muscles to frown than it does to smile. And yeah, he’s a skeleton and thus does not have any muscles, but he’s still a monster, so there’s a possibility for anything.

“a favor? well, i can’t say i’m all powerful and knowing, but if you tell me what it is, i might be able to help out,” The comic replies.

“You’ve mentioned going to the Waterfalls and Hotlands a few times, correct? Do you perhaps know a handful of people?”

“uh, i guess i do. why?”

“Would you happen to know any ghost monsters? Particularly, a sad-looking ghost who pretends to sleep a lot. He was here a few weeks ago, but has not returned,” Toriel thinks back to you expressing wanting to be friends with that ghost, “There is no way for me to reach out to him, so I was wondering if it would be at all possible for you to find him somehow, and send him my way.”

…

…

HUH?

Toriel is talking about Napstablook, Sans knows him the same way he knows almost everyone in the Underground (after so many Resets, he took it upon himself to know the different people, especially those who have a connection with Frisk). He lives in Waterfall, alone and generally keeps to himself. He sometimes goes to the Ruins just to hang out by himself as well.

Why… Why does Toriel want to know about him all of a sudden?

“uh, i think i know who you’re talking about. did he do something wrong?”

“Oh, heavens no! There’s just… something I’m curious about, that’s all. I see him often, but I never go out of my way to say hello.”

“oh… kay?” This is so weird, “yeah, i can find him and let him know you’re looking for him.”

Toriel smiles in relief, “Thank you so much, friend. I should really get going now. Until next time.”

“yeah, ‘till next time.”

Sans hears Toriel walk away in a hurry, scratching his skull in confusion as he also begins his walk to Snowdin. What the fuck was that? Even before the kid came and ruined everything, Toriel had not once expressed being curious about other monsters. She’s under the assumption that monsters still fight humans out of malice, and not because they just feel like they have to at this point.

Why is this suddenly different? It can’t really be because this is the natural development Toriel goes through, right? Nothing in Sans’ past experience hints at this kind of development in Toriel, or that it could be capable on her own-

…

‘it can’t be possible on her own.’

Sans stops walking.

No… Could it really be…?

Frisk is back in the Underground, and is staying in the Ruins?

────

The sussy skeleton knocks his knuckles against a door (albeit he had to knock harder than anyone usually has since he’s wearing pink gloves at the moment), huffing slightly while waiting for an answer. He’s tapping his foot impatiently on the ground, looking around aimlessly at nothing in particular. To Napstablook’s credit, he doesn’t make the other wait for too long. Instead of opening the door, the ghost just phases through it.

Napstablook is looking at the other in confusion, which is completely understandable.

“oh… hi, sans…”

“hey, buddy. how are ya?”

Napstablook’s headphones slowly fade away into nothingness. Wow, impressive skill. Sans has no idea how he did that.

“i’m doing alright, i guess… i was just working on a new remix…” Napstablook avoids eye contact, “um, sans…”

“yeah?”

“not that i don’t mind that you’re here, but… you never come here and we never really talk… did you need something…?”

Sans sighs a short laugh, “heh. you’re straightforward, huh? yeah, there is something i need to tell you.”

“oh. wh-what is it?”

“you were in the ruins a few weeks ago, right?”

“how-how did you know…?”

Sans shrugs, “heard it from that monster lady who takes care of the ruins. she was wondering why you stopped showing up, and wants to see you as soon as it’s convenient for you.”

“oh…” Napstablook doesn’t have eyebrows, but his big ‘ol eyes are expressive enough to show some confusion, “that lady…? i thought she didn’t want me there anymore because of that human…”

Shit, so Frisk is in the Ruins! Sans forces himself to stay calm. Sans raises a brow and leans forward a bit.

“a human, huh? now, that’s somethin’. you remember how they look like?”

At this, the ghost smiles softly and meekly, “yeah… i didn’t get a good look ‘caues i was laying down, but she was wearing a striped brown dress, and had kind, [e/c] eyes. must be a kid that the lady is looking after…”

…So it’s not Frisk. As far as Sans is aware, Frisk has always been androgynous, and he knows the ghost monster isn’t an asshole to misgender them purposely. (Ignore that Sans at that moment forgot Napstablook wouldn’t have any memory of Frisk.) Not only that but a striped, brown dress? Unless Frisk decided to get a new look, then Napstablook was describing someone else.

“really now? you don’t think this could be an evil human, do you?”

“oh, no way… she was really nice to me and had a lot of faith in my fake sleep… no one has ever given me that much encouragement in my fake sleep before.”

…That’s nice, Blooky.

“if only i could remember her name… the big monster lady said it once…”

Sans widens his eye sockets slightly, “come on now, bud. i know you can remember it.”

Napstablook squeezes his eyes, “mmnn… it was… it was… s… sa… mm… de… ehhh…”

The skeleton tenses up, his fists being held in front of himself like a child overfilled with anticipation.

“i think it was… uh…”

“…?”

“...i got nothing. sorry…”

Sans sighs heavily in disappointment, “it’s fine, buddy. it was a long shot, anyway.”

“well, i can tell you when i find out… if you want…”

“hey, not a bad idea,” Sans holds his gloved hand to his chin in thought, “try to be discrete though, yeah? we don’t wanna scare the human thinking that a lot of monsters are after her.”

“…actually, why do you wanna know about the human?” Napstablook shrinks back slightly, “you don’t wanna take her soul, do you…?”

Hey! Sans may not like humans (and Frisk certainly didn’t help with that), but he’s not a heartless monster (hah). Granted, if this new human that’s with Toriel is a jerk, and Toriel doesn’t make him also promise to keep her safe, then he might do something drastic and violent. He knows that it’s rash and rather harsh, but can the blame really be on him after all he’s had to endure?

“nah, i’m not interested in capturing any human,” Sans said, you know, like a liar, “you can’t blame a skeleton for being worried though, right? it’s been so long since the last human was down here, ya know?”

“yeah, i guess that’s true…” Napstablook resummons his headphones with, presumably, magic, “i should get going then… i’ll see you later, sans…”

“see ya later, bud.”

Napstablook at least has the manners to not pass through Sans, and instead takes the time to float around him to make his way to the Ruins.

Sans watches him leave for a moment before taking a shortcut home. More specifically, he takes a shortcut to his bedroom. He sighs in relief, ditching his pink slippers by the door to drag his feet to his bed.

On the way, he nabs a notebook from his self-sustaining tornado made of trash. By his command, the bunched up, weird, creasy ball of his covers unravels itself to lay out on his worn mattress.

With a sigh, the skeleton flops down face first on his bed.

Clink.

Ouch.

Sans lifts his head with a wince, not appreciating the sans-ation of his forgotten pen falling out of his eye socket. Huh. He’s been looking for this pen, guess it’s been lost in his covers all this time. He takes it and rolls over to his back, opening up his notebook and flipping through the pages until he reaches a blank one. The monster clicks his pen and scribbles on the top corner until the ink starts to flow out of the ball point.

——

thursday, january 17th, 20XX

RESET #43: Post-Flowey (207 days since the last reset)

there’s a new human in the underground. napstablook was describing a girl, presumably a child. what’s with all the children falling to the underground? anyway, he swears up and down that she’s not evil or harmful, but i doubt it. how long as she been in the ruins? why did toriel hide this information from me?

it might have to do with the fact we’ve been drifting apart lately. about two months ago i noticed she’s been more reclusive and less willing to talk for long. i think she can pick up that i haven’t been putting in my all lately. i can’t bring myself to really care that much anymore, which is probably why she doesn’t enjoy talking to me anymore. i don’t blame her.

it’s been worse recently though. about a month ago, she’s been really different. she’s a lot more energetic, but i can tell when she talks to me that she would rather be somewhere else. maybe that’s when the human girl showed up. she has to be a pro at manipulating if toriel is enjoying this human’s company.

or maybe all these resets are getting to me, and the human isn’t that bad after all.

only time will tell.

…

luckily (or maybe not) napstablook is going to the ruins and will check out the human. hopefully he remembers to ask for the girl’s name, and tell me anything else that can be relevant. maybe the human has something to do with toriel asking for him. i can’t think of another reason why.

it makes me wonder… if frisk never had shown up at all, would this be the natural order of what was to happen? that another human would eventually fall in anyway?

whatever. i’ll learn more once napstablook comes back from the ruins.

i hope he comes back from the ruins…

——

Whelp, that’s enough thinking for today. Sans has no idea when that ghost will come back, so he might as well take a nap. It’s been a long 40 minutes, he’s earned it.

────────────

Tag List (There's only one person lmao)

@lemonboy011 I don't know if I did this right whoops

[mytortoisegotstuckinatupperware]

some of my household's responses to my sneezing:

bless you

gesundheit

quit trying to get attention

gotta disown you now

burn in hell (2x)

what in the ritz cracker fuck was that

you're scaring the hoes

about a 6 on the Richter scale

you gonna get that checked out

[cringycrisis]

Tales of the Loopty Loop au: Merry Christmas!

(Note: Sorry in advance for the poor writing, it's been forever since I've done a quick one shot and I really wanted to get this done before Christmas was over :') )

-------

Kid lets out a sneeze as snowflakes brush over his face.

“Gesundheit!” Penny quickly responds, holding her arms out to keep balance on the icy sidewalks. Ted held onto one side while Kid held the other. Their boots occasionally slid from black ice that just barely shined on the cement as they tried to stay standing. Penny giggles as she watches Ted nearly fall before tightening his grip on her forearm.

Lily and Billy were a few feet ahead of them, trying to figure out what spot was clear to walk on  “Careful! There is a lot black ice here!” 

“Nugget doesn’t understand the issue of this-” As Nugget takes a step his boots quickly slip, flinging him into the air as everyone watches. He falls flat onto the ground with a thump, mildly dazed and groans in pain. “Never mind…”

Lily carefully moves over to Nugget and helps him up. She holds onto his hands firmly as she leads him to a safer section of the sidewalk.

“What the hell is taking you guys so long?!” The sound of Cindy's irritated voice echoes in the cold air. In the distance Cindy stood, her gloved hands resting on her hips as she glared at the group. Her hair blowing in the wind, her ear huffs just barely holding onto her head. Snow clung to her fancy pink coat, her boats tapped on the sidewalk impatiently.

“Trying not to get sent to the hospital.” Billy says bluntly, attempting to keep balance as his foot found more ice.

“Well hurry up! We can't start the party without you guys. Carla and the other girls refuse to let me!”

“Wow! And here i thought you actually liked us, Cindy!” Ted sarcastically joked, earning an extra harsh glare from the mean blonde.

“Yeah yeah, calm your fake hair! We're almost there!”

Cindy glowered at Billy, offended as she stops her foot down. “WHY YOU LITTLE-” But just as she steps forward, her foot slips making her fall to the ground with a screech. 

“WHAT IN BLOODY HELL IS GOING ON?!” Felix yells from out the open door to Cindy’s house, everyone else stared out confused except for Carla who was quickly finished putting on her snow boots, rushing down the patio steps and towards Cindy.

“Trying to not crack our heads open, unlike Cindy.” Billy repeats, unamused.

“MY HEAD IS WHAT?!”

“Baby, calm down. Your head is fine,” Carla says as she helps her girlfriend up, wiping off the snow from her back and hair as Cindy quickly checks her own head for damage.

“Can someone get us some salt over here?” Kid asks, it was getting a little tiring watching people fall over.

“Yeah we got it.” Monty speaks up, putting his boots on while Buggs and Jerome followed behind. They make their way towards Buggs truck to get sidewalk salt.

Carla moved Cindy back towards the house as the rest stood in place, waiting for the sidewalk salt.

+ + + + +

“Ah!”

“Careful!” Felix warns as he grips Kid's arm for leverage. A bit of ice was hidden on a step, nearly making Kid fall down the steps. As soon as Kid got inside, Felix closed the front door. “What took you guys so long?”

“We had to dig the van out of a ditch.” Kid says, taking off his boots before setting them down by the other boots.

“Why did you need to dig the van out of a ditch?”

“Deer ran in front of us.”

“Ah, alright then.” 

Kid sets his coat in the coat closet before following Felix towards the living room, the sound of Christmas music and chatter getting louder the closer they got. Cindy's living room was huge, Cindy and Carla sat in the corner of a large couch near the large fireplace that was at the other side of the room. Monty sat at the other end with Buggs and Penny in between. Billy, Jerome, and Ted stood next to a large Christmas tree at the far right corner of the room, chatting away and making jokes. Lily and Ozzy sat near the large window at the left side, Ozzy seemed a bit annoyed about the weather as Lily tried to cheer him up.

“Nugget stop touching the vase! If you break it then I'll tell Uncle David!” Cindy snapped at Nugget, turning towards the wall closest to Kid and Felix. Nugget stood near them, touching a very expensive looking vase as he sticks his tongue out in retaliation, then setting the vase back down and walking towards the fireplace to sit on the ground.

“Are you guys just going to stand there or join in?” A voice from behind makes Felix squeak and jump in fright. Kid turns around to look at Alice, who has a smug look on her face.

“Oh hey! Sorry we were late!”

“Nah, it's good. Penny filled me in on what happened.”

“Move please!” Madison butts past them with a large plate of cookies. She walks to the coffee table that sat in the middle of the room and sets the plate down. Ron soon walks past with a second plate that looked just as full as the first.

“And how much did Cindy help make those?” Kid asks Alice as he points at the plates.

“Ehhh, 10 minutes at most. But most of it was convincing her that touching cookie dough with her bare hands was not the end of the world, again.”

“At least she helped with the stuffing and getting the turkeys ready for the ovens this year! I say that is an improvement!” Madison quickly adds, smiling at Cindy who looked embarrassed by the call out.

“Goodness Cindy, would it kill you to just learn how to make your own meals?”

“Oh I know ‘Mr.only eats what professional chiefs makes’ didn't just admit to being a hypocrite! You never touched a spatula before!” Cindy spat at Felix. “I doubt you even know how to cook an egg!”

“Now listen here you-”

“Guys stop, it's Christmas!” Billy cuts Felix off, “Frankly I'm not in the mood to deal with a cat fight today. Let's just chill out and enjoy the holiday!”

Cindy rolls her eyes before turning back towards the fireplace. Felix huffs before taking a seat next to the window. Everyone else returns to what they were doing while waiting for the turkeys to finish cooking.

+ + + + +

“So are you just going to tell him or what?” Cindy asks Felix, nearly making the blonde boy spit out his drink as he looks mortified at Cindy. “Don't give me that look, I ask you this question so many times already.”

“Can you not ask that so loud?!”

“The only one who doesn't know is Kid. Jerome and Monty are literally making betting pools over this.” Cindy said with a deadpan stare.

“I…..I don't-”

“Don't what? Have the balls?”

“I want it to be perfect!”

Cindy stares at Felix, unblinking as her expression remained unreadable. “You… Oh my fucking god, you are hopeless.”

“I am not-”

“Felix, I literally told Carla the minute I liked her that I wanted to date her. It's not like I'm doing surgery or something.”

“Maybe to you, but this is important go me! So i want to be ready to impress him!”

Cindy rolls her eyes before glancing at their group of friends, thinking about them. They all have known each other since kindergarten, this should be incredibly easy for him to do! Why can't he just do it… Cindy glances at Felix, noticing how lovestruck he is at the brunette boy.

“...Simp.”

Felix turns to stare daggers at her, but Cindy was already walking away towards the kitchen. Leaving him alone at the living room entrance.

[theplottdump]

Val: And there were really no warning signs? You had no idea?

Chad: I don't know. The last thing I told him was to stay away from us, from me. I was so mad I can't really remember exactly what I said.

I just know that I meant it.

Chad: Who knew- Chet Chinsley, the famed and revered 009, taken down by a late stage liver disease. Val: Cirrhosis. Chad: Gesundheit.

Chad: What if he was trying to tell me- at dinner. What if some part of this my fault? Val: Chad, no. Chad: Val they found him dead on the floor of his bathroom. Completely alone. No one deserves that, not even my father. If I had just listened to him, kept my temper in check-

Val: That's unfair to yourself and you know it. Chad: Yeah but- Val: No. No buts. He was horrible and mean, and not even in a fun way. If he wanted you to know he would have said something directly instead of trying to guilt trip you.

Val: But he didn't and you can't blame yourself for that. Chad: Val he was still my father. Val: Was he really? In the end? Because right now I'm looking at a father, and while the resemblance is uncanny, he is nothing like the man who unfortunately didn't die from some kind of blood explosion.

[clavissionary-position]

Emma: Gilbert? Walter? What's going on?

Walter: *furiously crunching numbers with a medieval counting instrument*

Walter: Got it!

Gilbert: Let's see it then. I trust you haven't made any errors, hehe

Walter: I quintuple-checked. I stayed up all night. I haven't eaten in three days. I invented the world's first supercomputer just for this purpose

Walter: But I spilled orange juice on the keyboard so I'm using this thing

Walter: Anyway. According to my calculations, you will need to consume at least 3 million calories immediately after *bleep*-ing Lady Emma in order to recoup what you've lost

Walter: However, the figure is slightly different if you've only *bleep*-ed her without *bleep*-ing her

Walter: But then if you're both *bleep*-ing each other, assuming you haven't *bleep*-ed beforehand, and your *bleep* is―to put it crassly―utterly... *ahem* you know

Emma: Does he always speak like that? With the bleeps?

Gilbert: He's a delicate virgin, you see

Gilbert: A delicate virgin with a supercomputer

Roderich: That's a dope band name

Gilbert: Let's do it

Walter: Oh come on! Stop finding new hobbies and making me calculate calorie consumption for you!

Gilbert: No one asked you to. But who knows what might happen to me if you don't :)

Walter: You're evil

Gilbert: Gesundheit

Walter: Gesundheit yourself. Like, actually

Walter: Like actually, actually

[laceandsilkhandkerchiefs]

(Therapy) Dog Days (Snzfic, N/ewsies)

To that lovely anon who I promised a N/ewsies snzfic to... it's here at last!

Some general notes (especially for those who aren't familiar with the source material)- This is a Modern AU (the original story takes place in 1899), wherein all the characters are college students. Davey and Crutchie (the two characters featured in this little story) are dating in this universe, and they work together at their university's library. Crutchie (as his name suggests) uses a crutch, although for the purposes of this AU I've updated it to be two forearm crutches. His real name being Charlie is my own headcanon.

I believe that's all... please enjoy!

Davey and Crutchie had been sitting next to each other at the library's front desk for about half an hour, enjoying a silent and uneventful afternoon as students pored over books and typed out essays around them, when Crutchie suddenly jerked forward in his seat.

To the untrained eye it was a rather violent movement, especially startling because it came out of nowhere. Davey, however, could tell from both his years of practice observing his boyfriend and the way Crutchie had tucked his nose into his shoulder that it had been a stifled sneeze. And it was no wonder, really, considering the fact that it was "Therapy Dog Day" at the library, with four-legged friends roaming around saying hello to everyone, and Crutchie was horribly allergic to dogs.

"You okay?" Davey whispered as the other man straightened up with a soft sniffle, running his finger lightly under his nose. Crutchie nodded.

"Yeah, thanks."

"Of course." Davey cast his gaze back at his laptop but remained attuned to Crutchie's now much more frequent sniffs and throat-clearings. After another minute or two his breath caught, and he ducked into his elbow with two barely stifled squeaks of sneezes, letting out a soft huff and reaching for a tissue when he was done.

"Gesundheit. Here." Davey passed him the tissue box, which Crutchie took with a grateful smile. As he leaned away to blow his nose, ever mindful of keeping his noise levels down, Davey reached out and placed a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Do you need allergy meds?"

"Nah, I took some befohhhre I... hih-ngxt! Snf! Before I got here."

Davey frowned as Crutchie dabbed not only at his nose but his eyes, which had begun to water with the effort of holding back his sneezes. "It doesn't look like they're doing much..."

"T-there's juhhhst a-a lotta dog... hair... ohgeez- ngxt-shiew! Hih-ishiew! Ish-ish!"

As Crutchie crumpled forward into a fit of squeaky, ticklish sneezes Davey rubbed his back gently, feeling Crutchie's shoulders shake even as his sneezes remained relatively quiet. "Bless you, again," he murmured.

"Snf... Thanks, sorry," Crutchie replied, plucking another tissue from the box and rubbing more aggressively at his nose with it. "Think I'm g-gonna... snfsnf!... ugh. Gonna go sit in the back. I don't wanna disturb nobody."

"Are you sure?" Davey asked as Crutchie reached for his forearm crutches and made to stand up. "You can go home if you need to. I'll cover for you."

Crutchie smiled fondly at Davey, though it was much more subdued than his usual trademark crooked grin, and his eyes held a slight fuzziness which made him appear a bit distracted. "'S just sneezin', Dave. I'll be fine, promise."

--

"Hey, uh, Davey?"

Davey looked up from his laptop to see Henry, one of the library's research assistants, standing in front of the front desk with a worried look on his face. "Hey, Henry. What is it?"

"It's Crutchie... he's in the back room, and he says he's fine, but... I dunno." Henry shrugged. "You might wanna check on him."

Davey was already on his feet. "I will. Thanks."

Henry nodded, and Davey placed a small sign that said Out to Lunch on the desk (never mind that it was almost 3 PM) before hurrying off to find his boyfriend.

Crutchie hadn't gone far, as it turned out- he was sitting hunched over in an armchair in the employee break room with his nose buried in a tissue. He glanced up when Davey entered the room, and it was immediately clear that his allergic reaction had intensified. His nose was now flushed pink, his eyes were red and watery, and his whole face had taken on a distinctly puffy quality.

"H-hey..." Crutchie tried to speak, but was interrupted by a small fit of sneezes, which he muffled into the tissue with a soft groan.

"Charlie..." Davey sighed as he knelt down next to the chair. "Why didn't you tell me when it got this bad?"

"It ain't that b-bad..." Crutchie trailed off, his brow furrowed as he seemingly waited to see if he was going to sneeze again. When more weren't immediately forthcoming, he rubbed at his nose and turned back to Davey. "Ngh... how long's it been?"

"About an hour. There's an hour left in our shifts, but I'll ask Henry to cover it."

"What? Why? Honestly, D-D-Dave... ish! Ish-ish! Huhhh... hih-shiew! Hahhh..."

"Charlie. Come on, I can see your nose twitching from here. Why keep torturing yourself? Let's go home."

Crutchie sighed, throwing a watery glare at Davey, the effect of which was immediately ruined by his face crumpling with one more sneeze. Davey raised an eyebrow.

"Okay, okay! You win, we'll go home... snf! 'S long as we can stop at Starbucks on the way back. I need caffeine."

"You need Benadryl." Davey shook his head, leaning over and pressing a kiss to Crutchie's cheek. "But Starbucks it is."

[accidentalmistress]

Ok, so, my new job involves quality checking audiobook narration, and one of the things I have to listen for is proper pronunciation. Some books will come with a pronunciation key of words in the book that might be mispronounced.

One of the words in my current book is "gesundheit", and I am already nervous.