#Garak is fucked up
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I love Garak and Kira because their characters are like... Yeah, trauma doesn't make you a better person. Sometimes trauma just makes you a bitter, caustic individual filled with regret and self loathing. That doesn't make you any less worthy of care or healing or community. It's not the trauma that saves you, it's community and being given the love we were denied. Pain isn't virtue.
#star trek#ds9#elim garak#kira nerys#it's so healing to me personally as a bitch and deeply fucked up individual
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So much of Garak as a person starts to make sense once you know his childhood was a fucking gothic novel. His main playground was a graveyard and he'd play pretend by perfoming improv eulogies to an imagined audience. For a long time his main touchstone for most important figures from recent history is 'oh yeah I know about that guy my dad buried him. great flower arrangements for that one'. He finds out later his 'parents' are actually a brother and sister who had to get married to avoid the utter shame and social devastation of having a child born out of wedlock, and they live in the basement of his biological father's house. (the madwoman in the attic vs. the tiny elim in the basement.) His biological father calls himself his uncle and locks him in a closet whenever he fails to live up to his insane and unpredictable expectations and everyone just has to act like that's normal and expected, and his will hangs over everything at all times, unseen but always felt keener than anything else. The father who actually raised him grows the world's most beautiful (and as it turns out, most poisonous) orchids and keeps the mask of a god hidden in a box in his work shed. Everyone in the house is choking down secrets like it's the only air they know how to breathe anymore.
What I'm saying is that right from the get-go this guy never had the faintest shot at turning out normal, so I'm glad that by middle age he's found a way to get a bit silly with it as he continues to be deeply deeply not normal about anything ever <3
#guess who's reading a stitch in time!#star trek ds9#elim garak#a stitch in time#star trek#ds9#I will make a monster post of asit thoughts eventually but just. jesus christ!!! what a start in life lmao#tolan and tain seem to have been... well not exactly friends probably but to have had some connection beforehand#did tain know him or mila first??? how was mila and tolan's sibling status presumably not known publicly?#at what point during all of that did tain start to have sex with tolan's sister. the more you think about it the more fucked it gets lol#under the circumstances... shoutout to tolan and mila for not leaving him somehow even more fucked up interpersonally than he is#and no thanks to tain for anything ever I hate him so much
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“I forgive you. for whatever it is you did.” is such an insane line.
like imagine going your whole life believing that you’re only worth as much as you’re useful, doing things you know deep down are horrible just to serve the interests of a man who won’t even acknowledge you as his son and then after he exiles you 2 years later you find yourself on your deathbed, all your crimes finally caught up with you, the young doctor who at this point you believe could not have a more different experience of life than you decides against everything you’ve been taught about yourself that you’re worth saving.
and no matter how much you tell him you’re horrible, how wretched you make yourself look in front of him, he doesn’t care. he doesn’t care about your past. you’re forgiven. you’re worth saving, just by virtue of being alive. and he’s not saving you out of pity or even kindness, he’s doing it because he genuinely believes that. and for the first time since you were a small child, perhaps even ever, you feel like you have intrinsic worth.
#rewatched the wire. not ok.#rhw if you see this cause ik you go through the ds9 tags sometimes know that you fucked me up#shut up abe#garashir#elim garak#julian bashir#ds9#deep space nine#star trek
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got him off-balance!
#my art#ds9#star trek deep space nine#julian bashir#elim garak#garashir#watercolor#image desc in alt text#i normally post on mondays but. today im breaking my pattern! getting a little silly. getting a little wild. garashir jumpscare#“tumblr user chitinleg garak would neot easily let himself be swooped off his feet into a hug like that” yes i know BUT!#look at his expression. look at how his arms r pinned. he didnt let this happen LMAO julian just surprised him. grabby huggy human behavior#if you look really closely you can see the tiniest frown in the world on Garak's face. because he's like “EEP !”#cant see bashirs face at all in this only his body but i think we can all imagine that whatevers going thru his head. he needs this hug bad#ALSO. for anyone wondering what the fucked up shadow is that starts at the juncture of the teal sleeve-cap where its set into the armhole#the jumpsuits have a bit of a fold of extra fabric (called an Action Pleat) there which allows for a little more maneuverability of the bod#AND creates a really sleek and flat back panel#because you can see the fabric twists along the side arent grabbing the flat back fabric theyre grabbing the fabric folded beneath it#often times i think about drawing out a dissection of kiras first uniform and this voy era one for other artists to use. bc god knows#i struggled at first to find full body references#they like to shoot ds9 very close to peoples heads. and the camera is so blurry. they smeared butter on that thing. god bless
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Garashir, anyone? 🥂
#reupload#because I fucked up their eyecolors before#first star trek fanart#and its old men yaoi#wait i should tag that independantly#old man yaoi#ds9#gashir#julian bashir#elim garak#gay space freaks#star trek
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underrated garashir scene is when Garak makes THIS gesture right in Julian's face
#But you don't need me to tell you Doctor! Just notice the details! They're scattered like crumbs all over this table we regularly share!#garashir#this post needs a good pussy galore related punchline to really make it but I can't come up with one I'm just like damn. dyke behavior.#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#my gifs#actually the reason I was rewatching this scene was to get a closer look at his outfit as a potential cosplay. the shoulder piping!!#I unironically think this outfit fucks. the Move Along Home of Garak suits. everybody else talks shit about it but real recognizes real <3#Starky's original posts
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“Lovers never fall out of the rift for Curzon!”
Listen, listen. I think Holo Bashir absolutely tried to fuck Curzon too but then he met Doctor Garak and and he and Garak went at it like rabbits and now Curzon can only get an occasional “Garak wants to be cucked tonight” thing instead.
And on that note. Imagine getting rejected by a fucking hologram.
#garashir#curzon dax#lower decks spoilers#.it’s past my internet shutoff time but the curzonjulian needs to be spoken.#.also i think it makes me less iffy on it being a holo bashir if i can imagine he turned down another person in favour of garak y’know.#.curzon just sounded so fucking BITTER i cannot stop imagining that he and holo bashir had a thing going and then Garak showed up.#.and just went NOPE CARDASSIAN TIME LET’S GO and curzon is furious and sexually frustrated forever now.
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I promise I’ll stop talking about The Wire someday but do people realise that Garak wanted Tain to kill Julian? Like do you realise that?
He gave Julian the-terminally-curious Subatoi Bashir the name and address of the most dangerous man in the quadrant? On accident??? My guy was practically begging Tain to take care of his latest Sentiment Problem for him because he couldn’t do it himself. Do you see??
#he couldn't have been more obvious about it if he'd drawn up a flight path for him#And this fucking twink had the audacity to come back and still save his life.#garashir#ds9#elim garak#is this an uncommon interpretation because I haven't seen it anywhere#but it seems so obvious#am I crazy??
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So I read A Stitch in Time and one result of that which I was certainly not expecting was that I feel so much sympathy for Enabran Tain. Garak's life is a tragedy, but Tain's is a fucking black comedy.
I mean, he's a terrible person and an absolute shitbag, but can you imagine? You have this kid. You go to all the trouble of arranging for him to be raised in a family situation where he won't be rejected from society for being your bastard. You get him into the nicest indoctrination school where he can hobnob with plenty of uppercrust kids. You get him a job in your Order and all the proper training. And he's actually, like, really good at it. But he has this fatal flaw of being completely incapable of not making stupid, short-sighted, emotional decisions.
A scene I imagine has to have happened just prior to Garak and Tain's confrontation at the end of part II:
Like goddamn. When Tain asked "what's your plan for getting rid of her husband?" and Garak's just like "plan what plan." Dude. I'M disappointed, I can only imagine the guy who's job it is to know and plan for everything isn't at least as disappointed.
I know he didn't actually, but do you think there was ever a time when Tain wanted to be like, You know what. Just go back to Tolan and become a gardener. Join that illegal hippie cult. It's fine.
#enabran tain#<tagging mostly in case anyone has him blocked bc i get it.#a stitch in time#elim garak#ds9 the garyalmor rewatch#(obviously not technically part of the rewatch but that's mostly a timing tag for organizing my opinions)#can't believe this is the second time i've compared tain to a character from teen wolf. BUT IT WONT BE THE LAST#I was reading apolesen's fantastic Love in a Time of Oppression and for some reason it made me remember a fic i read last year by#GoddessofBirth called There Are Many Names in History (but none of them are ours). which. yeah that's probably bc of the doomed nature of#a prequel romance. but also Chris Argent and Garak both win the 'i'm sorry your dad is the literal worst' award. Anyway I've always felt#like I *should* get a Tywin Lannister vibe off of Tain. like this is the guy who orchestrated the red wedding. who fucked up his kids so ba#he died from it. But I don't. I can definitely agree to a Gerard Argent vibe though. The 'you though you were laying out some kind of#dynasty but in actuality your son is a better person than you and everything you have ever striven for has been undone' sort of vibe
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I did a PowerPoint night with my friends and they were on board with my Star Trek smash or pass until I brought up a photo of Morn
#ds9#THEY ALL SAID PASS TO CAPTAIN KIRK#tos#star trek#tng#star trek memes#they also passed on Garak#lots of smashes for Harry Kim and Bashir as expected#hoots and hollers for Uhura obviously#THEY PASSED ON DATA#AND SPOCK#THEY SAID WORF LOOKS LIKE A BALLSACK#and told me to get him off the screen#fucked up#worf#voy#they said pass on Captain Janeway in a tank top which was insane#Geordi was all around smash
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Free but very cursed DS9 fic idea: Body Parts AU where Quark decides (perhaps after hearing a little bit about Curzon) that the best way to die would be during an orgasm. But obviously if Quark knows that's going to happen, that's a huge boner-killer. So he and Garak have to start fucking on the regular, just to help Quark relax and get used to it, and also to make sure Garak can learn how to consistently give him a GOOD orgasm so that he can be sure to time his assassination just right <3
#quarak#garak x quark#free fic ideas#i intended to be posting a fic rn but sas is giving me cursed ideas that NEED to be shared with the class#follow up thoughts to consider:#did garak ever actually intend to kill quark or was he always just playing along to mess with him?#do they continue fucking beyond the end of the ep or stop right away and never speak of it again?#does quark ever try to make odo jealous later by telling him that the guy trying to kill him did it better?
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okay. listen. a Concept. garashir roughhousing (gone (psycho)sexual) and at one point bashir wakes up from the high of finally getting to express all his repressed aggression in a safe space with someone who not only accepts that in him but can match him and is actively Into It, especially when he stops holding back some of his lil gmo twink strength, to be horrified like 'oh my GOD garak your nose is bleeding hang on I'll get a napkin or something I'm so sorry holy shit' and garak's lying there woozy with lust gazing up at him with wide betrayed eyes like 'no wait don't go you haven't even stabbed me yet :'('
(obviously this is mostly a shitpost, but I'm just saying I think they could provide a certain kind of space for each other that way. julian gets to have a place to live out all the rougher, less socially acceptable sides he usually has to downplay and push away to seem as non-threatening as (augmented) humanly possible with someone who loves him and who appreciates getting the entire spectrum of julian bashir, from the most obnoxiously annoying and needy to the unsettlingly coldly ruthless and back. and garak gets to have the shit beaten out of him in as medically safe and infinitely loving way as possible and/or finds he can still use his bloodied hands and take care of someone with them. this to me is the definition of what one might call a win/win situation. like don't get me wrong they would be having a lot of embarrassingly tender yearning gently-stroking-your-hair-and-holding-your-hand sex too. but. also this. which I think is also very tender, just in a different way. do you feel me.)
#garashir#star trek#star trek ds9#ds9#julian bashir#elim garak#this is my design etc.#the 'smut must contain this amount of meticulous psychoanalysis to really get my rocks off' post is so real#to take it up a tier: they fucked like this once after 'our man bashir' and it freaked julian out so bad they never had sex again#until post-canon cardassia times#when recognition of the self through the other is a jumpscare you wish you hadn't enjoyed quite so much#...when my brain starts going over into fic mode for this show it's going to be over for me I suspect
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I do love that Julian's first reaction to seeing Kira's face in his holo program is to assume that Kira is fucking with him. like yes, that would be the natural conclusion to literally seeing her, but have we considered it would be very funny if these two were regularly fucking with each other and constantly engaged in prank wars
#star trek: ds9#julian bashir#kira nerys#the fact that he's willing to believe Kira and Garak teamed up specifically to fuck with him is#so fucking funny its unreal#what is the precedent that makes that line of thinking a possibility#I feel like if Kira took part in pranks she would be an absolute menace#and would commit to them so hard#hard enough to team up with Garak? well Julian thinks its a possibility so
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"Mister Bashir, what a pleasure it is to finally meet you."
Julian, why in god's name would you invite him to play the villain?
#my art#ds9#julian bashir#elim garak#star trek deep space nine#garashir#image desc in alt text#pencil#ok so on the outset it may look to some viewers as though julian invited garak to play the villain to get dommed by the scary lizard#this is not the case. not in my heart#in my heart julian felt a burst of something funny when Garak asked him ''what if you'd killed me''#and he responded ''what makes you think i wasn't trying'' and garaks face blooms into a sudden understanding and respect. ooh.#That's that heady shit. catching garak off guard. ooooh. that's that High Quality Endorphins Happening. but. gotta pack that up for later#(he will not unpack that later) because garak also just threatened to kill 5 of his friends who are STILL IN DANGER. NO TIME FOR THIS.#so after everything. and MONTHS after OMB. he invites garak to something like a playful rematch. sort of.#after all theres only so long that garak can stomach being a sidekick u know? he needs to be able to do his own machinations.#so they make a character for him thats a villain. a little more cerebral than falcon. a little more ambiguous in his motivations.#now there's also. a secret game at play here (there are always games. doctor) and its actually between garak and his own self#you see garak Also wants bashir to defeat his character. he also wants to be shocked. challenged. a little dismantled even (state forbid!)#and because garak wants that for himself? hes going to fight tooth and fucking nail to make sure it doesn't happen.#that Gayle clip from ''COMPANY IS COMING'' but its garak yelling ''WE CAN'T LET THEM KNOW WE [WANT]!!!''#and its a horrible idea for both of them but. oh so so exciting#you understand.#these rituals arent intricate so much as they are transparent but all encompassing. a fish doesnt know its swimming in water until its out#you understand? you understand.#thank you to anyone who found the time to read these tags i hope you enjoyed yourself and/or found what you were looking for#also garak is dressed so boring bc hes hiding himself u know how it is
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elim garak is who terry silver thinks he is. no i will not elaborate
#bestie pretended to be poor for two months and thought he was an obsidian order agent#no sweetheart you're just high as fuck <3 hope that helps!#“look at me i am a charming enigma!” you're a loose cannon and you're high on coke. you could never join the book club#did i somehow manage to be too niche for both my cobra kai and my star trek audience? perfect#i will not elaborate she said. this is a straight up lie. i WILL monologue in the notes and thats a threat#anyway it's eleven and i have had a long day. can you tell i should be in bed#pinkgrapefloyd#terry silver#cobra kai#garak#ds9
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Julian tells Miles he should give his wife a present and immediately suggests the exact same gift that he and Garak famously give each other, which could mean nothing
#garashir#Star Trek: Deep Space 9#hilariously similar circumstances too: Garak leaving the station vs Keiko returning to it#JUST. YA KNOW. IN CASE THE AUDIENCE HAD ANY DOUBT ABOUT CHOCOLATE-GIVING BEING AN EXPLICITLY ROMANTIC GESTURE...........#also this scene is so fucking funny bc Julian killed Keiko's prized plants and is trying to avoid him and Miles getting yelled at for it#literally the PERFECT setup for a Garak-Keiko team up!!! he should help her scheme to get revenge on these dumbasses!!!#also he might be useful with the pagh wraith situation. but mainly plant vengeance.#Starky's Original Posts
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