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crowley-fe11 · 1 year

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Unfamiliar Territory

You both like ineffable husbands, and ineffable wives.

Stranger: ((Fem A / C. Sort of Human AU. Aziraphale accidentally finds out she's a witch, and whats worse, summons a snake lady that declares herself Aziraphale’s familiar. She wants no part of this, witchcraft is clearly demonic and scary. So she just has to get rid of Crowley, and forget this all happened. The problem is, she won't tell Aziraphale how to get rid of her.)) If you wake up, do not leave the shop. In fact, don't leave whatever room you're in. I'll be back later. A

You: Of course, angel. Anything you'd like me to do while you're out? C

Stranger: No, don't touch anything a

Stranger: *anything. A

You: Alright, just trying to be helpful. C Just let me know if there's anything you need. C

You: What are you up to, anyway? C

Stranger: I'm trying to find a bookstore or library with anything about things like you. Specifically thr removal of. A

You: Aw. I can tell you there's not very many of those. C Most witches find familiars rather helpful to have around, you know. C

Stranger: I'm not a witch. C

You: Then how would you explain all the odd happenings around you? C

Stranger: You're the only odd thing happening around me, thank you very much. C

Stranger: *A

You: I can sense the power that you're keeping pent up inside you. C It gets easier when you learn to channel it. And that's what I'm here for. C

Stranger: I don't want to channel anything, I'm not a witch, I'm not interested in a familiar, and I need to get rid of you! C

Stranger: I don't see why you'd even want to stick around. A

You: You don't have to use the label, but like it or not, you have magic. C And that can be a wonderful thing. You can use it to bring light to those around you. C I know this is unfamiliar territory for you, but I'm here when you're ready to embrace that. C

Stranger: I don't want magic either! Not under any label. C

Stranger: What do I have to do, ignore you for a decade? A

You: Even if you do, I'll still be here. C

You: [...] I'll also admit I found something to tidy, so I did break that no-touching-anything rule. C

Stranger: What did you do. A

You: Just took care of the dishes in the sink. And I cleaned the rest of the kitchen while I was at it. C Sorry, I just got so restless... C

Stranger: You don't have to do that. A

You: I wanted to. C

You: Any luck with your search? C

Stranger: Not yet. But I'll find something, I have to. A

Stranger: Do you need to eat? A

You: I should be alright for now. C

Stranger: But you do need food? A

You: I've been taking care of your rodent problem, actually. C I doubt you'd want them causing damage to any of the books in your shop, after all. C

You: I do appreciate the offer, though. C

Stranger: I had rats?? A

You: A few. C

Stranger: Ugh. I guess I'm glad I got a snake I'd nothing else. A

You: Happy to help where I'm needed. C

Stranger: *if nothing

Stranger: Eating mice won't get you sick, will it? You're not entirely a snake, after all. A

You: I've never had an issue before, but your concern really is sweet. C

Stranger: I just don't know what I'd do with a sick snake. A

You: I mean, even if those rats were baited before with something poisonous, it might just give me a bit of indigestion. C Not your average snake, after all. C

Stranger: Hm. I'll bring dinner home anyway, if you don't want yours, you can just put it in the fridge. A

You: What did you have in mind for dinner? C

Stranger: I'll probably just stop by the chip shop, I don't have the energy to stand in a restaurant. A

You: I might have a nibble then. C Does that mean I should expect you home soon? C

Stranger: Not for another hour. A

You: Alright, good to know. C

Stranger: Maybe thirty minutes. I've been reading too much. A

You: Maybe you can tell me a bit about what you've learned? C

Stranger: Nothing. A

Stranger: Maybe you can tell me what you already know? A

You: Oh, you'd like to learn about your abilities? C

Stranger: I'd like to learn how to send you back. A

You: Nah. There's no guarantee I'd be tied to anyone half as interesting as you. C

Stranger: I'm not interesting. A

You: Of course you are. C

Stranger: I am truly not. A

You: I think you are. C

Stranger: Well, you can't be right all the time I see. A

You: I see a woman who holds a great deal of kindness toward others, who always tries to do so much good in the world. C And yet when she's unlocked the ability to do even more, she's terrified of her gift. C I'd like to know why. C

Stranger: I've not been kind to you. A

You: Because you're scared. C

You: I want to know what's been frightening you. C

Stranger: Not you, I'll have you know. A

You: So I'm not the one scaring you, that's good to know. C Can you tell me what has been? C

Stranger: No. A

You: If you don't want to talk about it, that's fine. C But if you ever do, I'll listen. C

Stranger: You won't be here for much longer, so there's not much point. A

You: If you're certain about that... C

Stranger: I am definitely certain. A

You: Do you know what will happen if you figure out how to dismiss me? C

Stranger: I'll have my peace back? A

You: Because sure, there might be a book out there that tells you how to do that. But it won't stop any other familiars from coming along. C And dismissal isn't exactly a pleasant process for either of us. C

Stranger: Another one would show up?? A

You: In all likelihood, yeah. C

Stranger: That's not fair. A

You: Welcome to having abilities, angel. C

Stranger: Take them back. A

You: I didn't give them to you. C

Stranger: How do I stop another one from appearing? A

You: Again, why is this an issue for you? C

Stranger: I just don't need this added to my plate. A

You: From what I can tell, life likes to put things on people's plates that they didn't ask for all the time. C And right now you have a couple of choices. One is to keep trying to ignore this new aspect of your life, and it can keep causing a hindrance to you. C Or we can work on this together. See what it can do for you. C

Stranger: It's going to get my in trouble! A

You: What sort of trouble? C

Stranger: *me

Stranger: The annoying and difficult trouble. A

Stranger: Family trouble. A

You: What sort of trouble with your family? C

Stranger: My siblings mean well, they just want me to be on the right path. They can be a bit pushy, or pubchy, when they think I'm straying. A

You: [...] Did you have a religious upbringing by chance? C

Stranger: Yes. A

You: That makes /so/ much more sense now! C How often do they check up on you? C

Stranger: It's random. Sometimes I won't see them for a year, and sometimes they show up twice in one week. A

You: Got it. C I might have some sort of idea. Something that could help as a temporary measure. C

Stranger: What do you mean? A

You: Well, while I can't exactly take away your magic, I might be able to hold onto some of it. C If your family ever visits, it could help make things look more normal. C

Stranger: You can? A

Stranger: Hm. But what do I tell them about you? They'll have questions. A

You: Maybe. I've never tried it before, but I've heard of it being done. C But to them, I can be your new flatmate. Or just a friend who needs someplace to stay for a while. C Whatever makes the most sense. C

Stranger: They'd lecture me about money I they think I need a flatmate, and they won't believe I have friends. A

You: Then maybe we met at a book club. I could be trying to get out of a bad situation with my ex. C You seem like a kind enough person to let someone stay while they get back on their feet, right? C

Stranger: Right. Okay. I just don't want them to get the wrong idea. A

You: That makes sense. C I'm willing to play into whatever story you think they'd be okay with. C

Stranger: I'm not sure which they'd have more of a problem with, magic or me having a woman as a live in partner. A

You: Having a flatmate of the same gender is completely normal. C As long as there's very clearly two separate bedrooms, they won't suspect a thing. C

Stranger: They would suspect. Sorry. A

You: And yet living alone is something they're completely fine with? C

Stranger: So long as it isn't with a woman. A

You: So, if a man were to suddenly start living with you, they'd still be fine with it? C If anything, that would strike me as worse... C

You: I'm assuming living with you as your pet snake would be completely out in that case... C

Stranger: Right, so long as it is my a woman, or a man I wasn't married to. A

Stranger: They might try to kill you. A

You: They can certainly try. C Maybe I could be your new employee? C

Stranger: Oh! That's perfect. A

You: Great! Okay. I can definitely do that. C

Stranger: Just don't touch the books, or actually sell any of my books. A

You: How about organising your books? Is that alright? C

You: At least getting some of the piles off the floor, anyway. C

You: Wait- I thought the point of a bookshop was to sell books? C

Stranger: I will occasionally sell, if I have two of something. A

You: So.. it's more of a collection then? C

Stranger: No, it's a shop. A

You: Right... C

You: So, what would you like me to do as your employee? C

Stranger: Get rid of annoying customers? A

You: Shouldn't be a problem. Anything else? C

Stranger: Not really. Don't organise things, I'll get to it eventually. A

You: Dusting? C

Stranger: No. A

You: All I will say is if a sibling of yours comes in and sees me just standing around, they'll either thing you're an awful manager, or that you should fire me on the spot. C

Stranger: Just look busy, they don't know what goes into running a shop. A

You: Alright, I'll pretend to do inventory, or I'll doodle behind the counter. C

Stranger: Do you like drawing? A

You: Sometimes, yeah. C

Stranger: What else do you like doing? A

Stranger: Aside from breaking and entering. A

You: I like causing harmless mischief from time to time, like gluing pennies to the pavement from time to time. C I haven't had the opportunity to stick around with anyone long enough to really dive into new hobbies, but I love the idea of caring for houseplants, and subjects like botany and astronomy have always fascinated me. C What about you? I can tell you like to get cozy with a good book, but is there anything else you like to do? C

Stranger: I like good food, and wine, or scotch- but only the single malt and it has to be chilled, but no ice in the glass or it'll get watered down. A

Stranger: I've got quite a few little hobbies, nothing I'm particularly good at though, which my family never fails to let me know, heh. A

Stranger: [...] That sounded pathetic. Ignore that. A

You: I wouldn't listen to them. Do what you like to do. As long as it makes you happy, that's what matters. C What are some of those other hobbies? C

Stranger: Right, well, I like learning languages, though French isn't exactly my strong suit. Slight of hand magic was fun, I think I was alright at it. I used to dance. A

You: Well, I'd love to see if you every wanted to show me. C I know I love dancing, but I'm not sure I'm any good at it either. C

Stranger: I'll only bore you. A

You: Nonsense. C Besides, maybe I can help you with a bit of French as long as you can teach me another language you know. C

Stranger: I would be up for that. A

You: I think it could be fun. C

Stranger: I guess if you really are staying. At least until you get sick of me. A

You: I doubt that would happen. C

Stranger: It's what always happens. A

You: Maybe if you tried being friends with stuck up people before. I think you're wonderful, though. C They don't know what they were missing. C

Stranger: I think your have to think that. A

Stranger: Some sort of familiar thing, I'm sure. A

You: Nah, of all the magic users I've ever been paired with, I think I would enjoy my time with you the most. C

Stranger: Do you want something? I don't have anything to give you. A

You: I mean, my purpose is to serve you, simply put. As long as you're happy, then so am I. C

Stranger: [...] I don't know what to do with that. A

You: Anything you'd like. C Even if it's just being a friend to you, I can do that. Doesn't have to be only things pertaining to magic. C

Stranger: A friend? A

Stranger: Hm. Alright. Maybe that would be nice. A

You: I think so, too. C

Stranger: Just give me a warning if you want to leave. A

You: I doubt that would happen. C

Stranger: Yes, so you've said. But just promise me. A

You: Of course, angel. C

Stranger: Angel? A

You: Well, you're sweet like one right now. C Plus your name is angelic anyway... Is that alright? C

Stranger: Yes, that's fine. The name was on purpose. A

Stranger: I mean. Not my purpose! I didn't choose my name. A

You: You're cute when you're flustered. C But it's alright, I get what you mean. C

Stranger: I'm not cute! A

You: What makes you say that? C

Stranger: Because I'm not. A

You: Well I think you're adorable. C

Stranger: That's ridiculous. A

You: Maybe I am. But that doesn't change how cute and adorable you are. C

Stranger: Enough enough, that's not necessary. A

Stranger: [...] Snakes are sort of cute too. A

You: Not many people would say that... C

Stranger: Well I'm not many people. A

You: You really are sweet, angel. C

Stranger: I just said snakes in general were cute! A

You: But do you think I'm cute as a snake? C

Stranger: [...] I guess so, yes. A bit intimidating with the size. A

You: You know I'd never bite. C Not you, anyway. C

Stranger: I don't know that. A

You: I'm still me when I'm in my other form. C I promise, you're always safe with me. C

Stranger: I used to really want a pet snake. If you want to, you can be like that. When people aren't here at least. A

You: I'd love that. C What are some things you'd like to do with me as your pet? C

Stranger: You're not a pet. A

You: Fair point. But if you feel you've missed out, I'd like to help you make up for it. C I could hang out with you while you read. I'm sure I enjoy cozy spots as much as you like that. C You can also hold me, whatever you'd like. C

Stranger: [...] If you want, I wouldn't mind. A

Stranger: Snakes like warmth, right? I've been told I run pretty warm. A

You: I was just about to mention, I might be tempted to cuddle in that case. Though if I ever cross a boundary, you can always move me, or just tell me no. C

Stranger: Just don't bite or strangle me. A

You: You know I'm also meant to protect you, right? C I'm supposed to bite and strangle anyone who means you harm. C

Stranger: Oh. Well, no biting or strangling my family, please. A

You: I'll resist the urge if it arises. C

Stranger: So I have a guard snake? A

You: Basically, yeah. That's one of the typical duties of a familiar. C

Stranger: Please just be careful. I don't need to get in trouble because of an aggressive animal in my shop. A

You: That's why you have your employee specialising in customer disservice, right? C

Stranger: Quite right. They can be a bit pushy when they want something. A

Stranger: Oh but let the university students be! They're allowed to read the material here. A

You: Yeah, students are usually fine. But I just can't sell anything. C

Stranger: Correct. A

You: Got it. C

Stranger: You're really being much less judgemental than I thought you would be. A

You: Why would I be judgemental? C It's clear you care deeply for your books. C

Stranger: It's a silly thing to care so much about. A

You: But you do care about them, and they're important to you. C

Stranger: [...] Thank you A

You: Of course, angel. C

Stranger: Not many people seem to get it, so it's nice. A

Stranger: I'll be home soon, two plates of food, as promised. A

You: Thank you. I'll see you soon. C

Stranger has disconnected.

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