#GOOD NIGHT I GUESS. SWEET DREAMS I GUESS (TO ME)
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It’s just a little bit soul crushing when I come across trans men talking about how much they hate men. Apologizing for being one. Like ‘haha I guess I’m a trans man yep that means I, as a man, suck, just like all other men haha feel free to vent your frustrations about the patriarchy at me. I can’t help being a man I hate men why would I choose to be one?’
I remember being there. Hating the gender you belong to is exhausting. It’s worth deconstructing I promise, even just for your wellbeing. Here’s a start:
Manhood isn’t inherently tied to misogyny and violence. Misogyny and violence are choices. Just choices that men are disproportionately conditioned into making. Men can and do rewrite that conditioning all the time. Manhood isn’t the problem. The problems are misogyny and violence. You’re not a bad feminist because you let go of the hate you have for the manness of yourself. Your manness doesn’t make you violent or misogynistic, being violent and misogynistic make you violent and misogynistic make you violent and misogynistic. Testosterone HRT doesn’t turn you into the archetype of male violence. Testosterone isn’t the driving force of misogyny and violence. Do you understand what I’m saying? Misogyny and violence are not inherent and inescapable to anyone, regardless of identity. Being a man doesn’t make you evil.
Treating misogyny and violence as inherent to manhood excuses men for being violent and misogynistic. Accountability is real hard when you consider doing bad things a fundamental nature tied to an identity. If men are sexist, can you blame this man for being sexist? That’s just how men are. Do you see how this is boys will be boys hidden behind a couple layers of pseudo feminism?
I spent years dancing around manhood because I believed the second I labeled myself a man I was the enemy. The number of ways I found to describe my masculine identity that weren’t man. The number of times hearing ‘at least you’re not a man’ set me back. The number of times I came so close to manhood, but ran into an explicitly trans inclusive ‘I hate men’.
I think the best word for how manhood feels to me is settled. Being a man feels like home. Masculinity feels so gentle, in a big ol’ teddy bear sort of way. Growing a beard and letting your little cousin stick flowers in it. Making sure none of my students think it’s okay to make fun of the kid who cries a lot. Answering ‘boys don’t cry’ with ‘I’m a boy, and I cry every single time a dog in a movie is sad’. I want to be so kind. I want to be the man someone chooses to start working on their dog’s fear of men with. I want to be trusted to watch a drink and to walk with people to their cars at night. I want them to find a cure for cat allergies so I can get that patting-tiny-animal-with-hairy-hands gender euphoria without eye irritation. Cardigans and top surgery scars. Wrinkled hands injecting testosterone. My dream life closes on sweet if eccentric old man.
I may have tangented a bit, but just
 you don’t have to hate the man part of you. It doesn’t do any good. It’s not a moral responsibility. You can let that go because ‘man’ is just a gender. It isn’t a fundamental evil that exists deep within your being. The only evil masculine urge I’ve ever felt is the desire to wear athletic shorts in the middle of November. You’re not doing anything wrong by existing as a man I swear.
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moonchild-in-blue · 9 months ago
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EVERYBODY SHUT UP. THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT PICTURE EVER 😭💙😭💙😭
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yuriyuruandyuraart · 2 years ago
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*sighs* precious baby version of night and his mentally drained brother/dad got me dropping everything for a quick doodle<333
au by @dreemurr-skelememer
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euclydya · 1 month ago
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The heartache has finally stopped. Perhaps because I'm not apart of their little group?
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honeyyglaze · 2 months ago
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I’ve dreamt of the same person 4 nights this week
#it’s someone I’ve never met but I could describe him in detail#every time I wake up from the dream it feels like a thread wearing thin until it snaps#like we’re connected somehow#I think I might be in love with this dream guy#he wears pinkish red glasses#hes a teacher at a college- but he’s a (very good) physicist#he’s married (âœ‹đŸœđŸ˜”)#his dad died recently and left him his boat. he hasn’t had time to work on it recently but he really loves it#the first dream we met if I recall correctly since it was almost a week ago#I believe I sat in on his class accidentally while I was looking for my actual class and then stayed because I was mesmerized by him talking#then he pointed out that I wasn’t in his class and we talked as he walked me across campus to my class#later that night we ran into each other at a local bar and ended up hanging out all night (bar hopping but it felt like a date almost)#the second dream I saw him in was mostly watching him from afar on the campus#at the end of that one I heard that he got recognized for something he did in physics#and this one was#well. very romantic#like unintentionally#waking up was actually agony today#put me back in coach#this one I was out with coworkers at said bar again#working on some sort of project I think and then dream guy walks in#I think he ended up accosting one of my friends over a spilled drink or something but in a nice way#so I used it as an excuse to -diffuse the situation- to go talk to him#so he ends up sitting with us at our table and chatting and he tells me about his physics thing#and he had such a sweet look in his eyes when I told him I was proud of him and how smart he was#somehow I ended up curled up in his lap snuggled up against him while we were all talking#because for some reason we’re very comfortable with each other#the dream ended with us looking into each others eyes after I said something about his dad and the boat#the (are we about to kiss right now??) look in his eyes jolted me awake since I was like. but he’s married!!! I’m not evil!!#but maybe I am now I guess
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surplekit · 3 months ago
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“A-ahhh.. need you.. Y/N.” You wake up to your sweet boyfriend whimpering in your ear. You’re so tired and you’re not really sure what’s going on until you look down. Is he.. grinding on you?
“Yuji? Yuji..? Are you awake?” You ask, receiving no response. Was he having a wet dream about you?
“Yuji. Stop it, it’s too early, we have class in the morning.” You scold your sleeping boyfriend. You try to push him off but he keeps grabbing on to you, and grinding on your thigh.
“ ‘m so hard.. please..?” Yuji seems to be a little more awake now, still pleading with you to help him out.
“Had a dream about you..you were r-riding me.. you’re s’ pretty Y/N.. can’t believe I have you all to myself. All f-ngh..” he continues to grind on you thigh, a little harder now.
“All f’me. F-fuck.. let me fuck you.. please Y/N.” He begs you desperately, as if you didn’t fuck the night before.
“You’re such a horndog Yuji. Can’t believe you woke me up like this.” You scold him, even though you know deep down how wet he makes you, especially when he’s begging for you like this.
“Please..” he continues grinding on your thigh, kissing up on your neck too, trying to seduce you.
“I’m tired. You’ll just have to do with this.” You grab his dick in your hand and begin jerking him off. He folds over on himself, writhing in pleasure.
“Ngh.. okay.. feels.. f-feels s’ good.” He grasps onto your waist, fucking into your hand. He’s so loud his groans fill the room.
He begins panting and gasping until he goes silent. Then, you feel a sticky, wet substance on your hand. You were only jerking him off for a few minutes. He usually has a much longer stamina but you guess he was really needy.
“Thankyouthankyouthankyou..!” Yuji chants a string of thanks as he continues to fuck himself through his high. “S-shit.. thank you so much Y/N. Love you s’ much..” You caress his head with your other hand, holding him close until you both fall asleep.
“Mhm.. you’re welcome, my love.”
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spicygrilledscorpio · 7 months ago
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Sweet dreams - LN
Summary: Lando wanted to suprise his girlfriend but got suprised
Warnings: SMUT, somnophilia, horny!Lando, sleepy!reader, slight overstimulation(?), pet names, oral (f!receiving), penetrative sex (i think that’s it let me know if i missed any)
Side notes: English is not my first language so sorry if anything sounds weird. Hopes you guys enjoyâ€ïžâ€đŸ”„
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Y/n went to sleep wearing one of Lando’s button-ups with nothing underneath. She doesn’t usually go to sleep full commando but since her boyfriend isn’t home, why not? Lando was out for the triple header, he just finished Barcelona and was supposed to go straight to Austria, but Lando decided to give his girlfriend a surprise.
Lando opened the door to his apartment slightly, tiptoeing his way through the dark room, careful not to wake her up. He cracks the door to their bedroom quietly, guessing she was asleep since it was pretty late at night. He made his way to where she was lying, looking down at y/n’s peaceful face
until something caught his attention.
Y/n was letting out some incoherent mumbling and panting but was still pretty much fast asleep. She was straddling a pillow, that’s what caught Lando’s eyes. He reached for the pillow between her legs to remove it and to his surprise, there was a damp spot on the pillow. Lando’s eyes widen as he looks down at his girlfriend, who is now rubbing her legs together from the loss of the pillow. He parted her legs slightly, staring at the glistening wetness and leaning down, placing kisses on both sides of her thigh. Meanwhile, Y/n was still very deep asleep.
“P-please, Lando” Y/n mumbled in a quiet tone but enough for Lando to hear
He looks up from between her legs to see that she’s still sleeping. She’s having a wet dream. This is a perfect opportunity for Lando to try out something they talked about for a while but never got the chance to try.
He moved his finger up and down collecting the wetness and then bringing them up to his mouth to taste. He’s pretty sure if y/n was awake and watching him doing that right now, she would be too embarrassed and try to cover her red face. However, she was still fast asleep right now, stirred a little but nothing else, allowing Lando to do everything he wanted to her.
Lando leaned down and lick a stripe from her hole up to her clit, making her breath hitch in her sleep. He starts doing kitten licks and placing kisses on y/n’s clit, teeth glazing it sending shivers down her body
“L-Lan?” She woke up and tried to close her leg in confusion, unsure what was happening.
“I’m here princess, go back to sleep and lemme take care of you yeah?” Lando shushed y/n and pecked her lip before lowering himself again to finish what he started.
Lando started to eat you out like crazy. If anybody sees how he is right now they would think that he was starved for days. The combination of y/n’s arousal and his saliva glistening on her soaked cunt as he continues to devour her. Sucking and practically “making out” with her clit as two of his fingers enter her and immediately start to move at a brutal pace, as his other hand moves up to toy with y/n’s tits. It was too much for her, hands desperately trying to find something to grab onto when they found Lando’s hair.
“I-I’m close Lan”
Her boyfriend didn’t reply but hummed into her soaked cunt, sending vibration to y/n’s already sensitive clit, adding up to the knot building up in her lower abdomen, pushing her over the edge. She grabbed onto Lando’s hair tightly as she cum, moaning out loud.
“That’s it sweetheart, good girl” Lando coos as he plants kisses all over her face. Just when Y/n was about to doze off again, she felt Lando’s tip squeezing into her tight cunt.
“N-no, I want to sleep” Y/n whines, closing her legs and trying to push Lando away
“C’mon, just one more for me ok?”. Lando coos as he grabs her hands and pins them above her head. With one thrust, he bottomed out in her. Lando let out a groan feeling her warm, tight cunt wrapping around his hard member.
“So good f’me huh baby” He whispers in her ear, feeling her clenching extra hard down on him. Lando started with slow but deep strokes, hitting y/n’s G-spot with every thrust making her moan out loud.
“M-more”
“I thought you wanted to sleep, no?” Lando jokes as y/n gives him a death stare.
“Your wish is my command, princess” He chuckled slightly as he increased his pace, hips snapping into her at brutal speed. The sound of skin slapping and wet noises from the combination of her arousal and his pre-cum fills the room.
“I’m close-“
“Cum for me baby” Lando’s hand sneaks down to rub her clit in a circular motion, adding more pleasure, and pushing her over the edge. Y/n let out a loud moan as she comes, clenching around and milking his cock. Lando pulls out and shoots his cum on her stomach.
“Did so well for me, gorgeous” Lando says as he pecks her lip quickly then runs to grab a towel to clean both of them up. After he’s done with the cleaning, Lando climbs onto the bed to cuddle up with Y/n.
“So what were you dreaming about earlier” Lando asks as Y/n hits his chest playfully with her palm.
“Some handsome guy teasing me”
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fishnapple · 4 days ago
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How they comfort you, their love languages
(Future spouse/partner/lover)
This is a mini reading about the things that your partner/spouse would do or say to comfort you.
This is a general reading meant for multiple people. Take only what resonates and leave out the rest.
Your feedback is much appreciated. If you find the reading resonated with you, leave a comment, I’d love to know 🎐
About me | Masterpost
Book a reading with me - KO-FI (→ personal reading)
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CUBE 1
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"Our life together is the most important thing"
"You're alive, I'm alive and that's good"
Tickle
Clumsy jokes that make your belly hurt
"Let's go to the beach"
"Whatever you do, I'm right beside you"
"Don't worry"
"Don't be afraid to fall, I will catch you"
"I'm your biggest fan"
Silent understanding
Scary movies that make you jump into their arms
Passionate, emotional sex
The warmth of their body
Holding you in the dark
Holding your hands whenever you go out together
Warm breads and fresh flowers
Board games
Forehead kiss
"Let's run away"
"I will find you again even when you've become a star on the heavenly sky"
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CUBE 2
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Surprise gifts, this person could spoil you a lot with material gifts
"I will get it for you"
They would do many things to make your life easier without you knowing: take care of your routines, pack your lunch, iron your clothes, etc
Change the colour of the curtains and bed sheets to cheer you up,
Date nights
Take you to see the sunset, to somewhere dark and windy, surrounded by nature
"No problem "
"Let's me take care of it"
They comfort you in your dreams
Intuitively guess your thoughts
Whisper loving words when you are in public places
Be with you through every social events
"My greatest achievement is to be their partner"
Boast about you everywhere they go
"I command you to love me", then proceed to massage your feet
Holding you silently while you spill out your darkest secrets
Direct in displaying their desire for you
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CUBE 3
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Act all tough and intimidating with other people but become a mushy romantic when they're with you, especially in private
Never fail to notice and compliment your effort at taking care and beautifying yourself
Getting heart eyes both when seeing you in leisurewear and in glamorous clothes
Try to sing for you even if they hate singing or not good at it
Love poems
When they find it hard to express their feelings through words, they express through material gifts and sensory pleasures instead
Just buying you stuffs and pretend to not know about it or act oblivious and nonchalant
Wrap you in softest blanket
"Let's go into the bathtub together"
Drying your hair
Take lots of pictures, of you alone, of you guys together, of your memories
"You're my best friend, let's me be your best friend"
"I love you "
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CUBE 4
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"I've loved you before and I will love you again"
"See you in our next life together "
Appear right when you need them
Act more confident and tough
The heat of their body
Pull you into them
"Lean on me"
Witty jokes
Irrelevant stories to distract you from whatever negative feelings you're having
Hand holding
Lots of notes
Phone calls throughout the day
Try to talk in the softest voice when they're with you
"Let's play video game"
"Let's me draw your silly face"
"Let's take a day off and go to where nobody knows us"
The meadows, the sea, the mountains
Take your pleasure as their top priority
Love making
"I'm afraid that this is all a dream, but as I go to sleep and wake up everyday, you're still there"
"Your pain is my pain "
Warn anyone dares to come in between you two
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CUBE 5
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"Nothing can stand between us"
"We can go anywhere we want"
"I believe in us"
"Hey, teach me how to do this"
Make plan for both of you
"Let's me read Tarot for you"
Always on time
Keep their promises, from smallest one to biggest one
Cakes and sweets
Warmth food
Hype you up
Eager to hear you talk
Patience
Try to be silly just to cheer you up even though they seem to be a pretty serious person
Laughter
Refer to you as "my love" when talking with other people
PDA
"I think I'd done good deeds in my past lives, that's why I met you"
Looking deep into your eyes
"I believe this relationship has changed us for the better"
Ride of die
"Till death do us apart "
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CUBE 6
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"You were alone, but now you have me"
Act childish and cute to get your attention
Also love it when you do the same to them
"Let's get married "/ "Let's get married every year"
Tell you about their childhood nightmares and how embarrassing they were
"I was told to wait for you when I was a kid"
Has no shame in acting embarrassing or silly just to make you laugh, even in public
"Do you want to date me" (even when you guys have been married for a long time)
Handmade gifts
Corny pickup lines
Genius at solving problems
Try to get you to debate about odd topics
Looking intimidating and professional in public but don't care about people's opinions, especially about you and your relationship
Will defend you in any conflicts
Take your side unconditionally
Willing to share everything with you
Honesty
Think of a new way to affirm their love everyday
"We make a great team"
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sacredsorceress · 5 months ago
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Meet Cute with Logan Would Include... || Wolverine Headcanons
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pairing: logan howlett (wolverine) x mutant!f!reader summary: you're a new teacher at the school and logan is interested in you from your first meeting a/n: i'm admittedly projecting with the fact that reader teaches history but just a little blurb because logan's been on my mind and i need to get work done <33 lmk if you want me to make this into an actual fic!! warnings: none, all fluff
masterlist | inbox | tip jar (ko-fi)
when you first arrive at the school as a teacher (and late blooming mutant) charles introduces you to logan
logan has a typical scowl on his face and glances at you up and down
so you begin to worry that you've worn the wrong outfit or presented yourself poorly and now an infamous wolverine dig is about to be thrown your way
but instead, he takes a puff of his cigar, and looks back at charles
"you have a rule about only recruiting good-looking teachers or something?"
and what an array of relief (and butterflies) do you get from that
"yes, very funny, logan. however, y/n here has a phd. I've brought her on to teach the students"
"yeah? and what's your "gift"?" (mutation)
he has a coy look on his face
"oh logan, that's a bit personal..." you said with faux seriousness. "buy me a drink first."
for the first time, you saw him smile. a chuckle reverberated in his chest.
"fair enough."
after that interaction charles escorted you out of the room but as you went, logan's eyes were trained on you.
intrigued, he took another puff of his cigar and smiled to himself.
on your first night there, once all the children have gone to sleep and all the adults have gone to their own rooms for the night you hear a knock on your door.
and guess who it is?
you hate to admit it but god, does he look so hot and suave standing in your doorway.
logan's hair is in a typical mess and his flannel has a few more buttons undone than it did this morning,
and although he's rough around the edges and not as necessarily openly friendly as the others, he exudes confidence- especially as he leans against your doorframe.
"you said i owed you a drink."
although he takes you to the diviest dive bar in town, you have such a good time.
after a little bit of awkwardness, the two of you found your footing and you end up talking (flirting) for hours
well, in actuality, you do most of the talking but boy does he like listening to you talk and watching your eyes light up while you laugh at some of your own stories
on the way back to the mansion, he opens the car door for you
"thank you."
"don't mention it" (he's blushing a little)
on the ride back he tries to be as smooth as possible, one arm draped over the passenger seat while the other rests on the steering wheel
he keeps taking quick glances at you as you hum along to the song on the radio and even though you just met he's already thinking about how he could get used to this
he walks you back to your room and as much as he wants to make another move (and you do too) he doesn't want to mess up your relationship before its even started
i mean, you're living in the same place?? what happens if you don't like it?? and you end up hating him?? now his suave demeanor has crumbled under the weight of realising this is actually real and not a game
"I'll.. uh... be down the hall if you need me."
"thanks, logan" you smile softly and he thinks its the first time anyone's done that in over a decade and meant it
when he starts walking down the hall, you call out in a whisper
"oh and logan!" you pause. "sweet dreams."
before he can say anything the door of your bedroom shuts
a stupid, silly grin coats his face so big that he rubs his hand across his cheeks in fear anyone would catch the big bad wolverine becoming a softie for the teacher he's got the hots for
although you've just met, you've got him wrapped around your finger and he can barely believe it
shoving his hands in his pocket, logan shakes his head and laughs on the way to his own bedroom
"fuck."
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navybrat817 · 10 days ago
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Ficlet Friday?
A slightly buzzed Bucky just being the cutest or in love or both. Definitely a fluff-ficlet. Your choice on which Bucky 😉
I tried to make it fluffy, nonnie, but it does have a touch of angst. Sorry!
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Pretty Girl
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Female Reader
Word Count: Over 700
Warnings: Tipsy Bucky, encouraging friends, slight angst
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You were reading a book in the lounge when laughter rang out through the hall, a smile touching your lips. The guys decided to do a “boys' night out” and it sounded like they had a good time. Between being heroes and the trials and tribulations they all went through, they deserved it.
“Hey! Pretty girl!”
You didn't turn toward the sound of Bucky’s voice immediately as much as you wanted to. Glancing around, you were the only one in the lounge, so who was he talking to? It would mean everything for him to call you pretty, but you were just
 you.
“Steeeeve. I don’t think she heard me,” Bucky loudly whispered.
“Then say it again with feeling,” Steve loudly whispered back.
“Got it.” Bucky sucked in breath which gave you enough time to cover your ears. “HEY! PRETTY GIRL!”
“Jesus Christ, I can hear you guys,” you confirmed, shutting your book. There went your quiet evening. “I guess stealth isn’t your strong suit tonight.”
You shrieked when Bucky suddenly sat beside you, casually throwing an arm over your shoulders. Okay, he was still stealthy, and he looked amazing in his jeans and henley. “There’s my pretty girl. I missed you,” he smiled.
“Um
” You looked around to find Steve, Thor, Sam, Joaquin, and Clint hovering by with expectant looks on their faces. You tried to come up with something witty, but all you said was, “What?”
Bucky chuckled, his cheeks a bit more pink than usual. “My pretty girl is adorable, isn’t she?” he said over his shoulder before looking at you with hearts in his eyes.
You leaned in to get a closer look at him, catching a small whiff of liquor mixed with his cologne. “You’re tipsy,” you said. How was that possible?
“No, I’m Bucky. And you’re pretty,” he smiled, the dreamy look still in his eyes. “Pretty eyes, pretty smile, pretty voice. Even your name’s pretty.”
As happy as you were to hear those things, even as your heart pounded, you looked to the guys for help because Bucky couldn’t be serious. “How?”
“My apologies,” Thor spoke even louder than usual. “I shared some of my Asgardian liquor with Barnes and Rogers and
 Well-”
“Bucky hasn’t shut up about you,” Sam cut in, rolling his eyes. “‘My girl is the prettiest girl there is.’”
“‘Isn’t my girl brilliant? And so kind!’” Clint mocked.
“‘Her smile just lights up the room’,” Joaquin added.
“Guys, c’mon. It’s sweet,” Steve smiled before he said, “‘I’ll bet her kisses even taste pretty.’”
Heat filled your cheeks. Bucky didn’t deny a thing, so they were telling the truth, weren’t they? “But I’m not-”
The former Winter Soldier placed a hand on your cheek, drawing your attention back to him. “Don’t look at them, pretty girl. Look at me.”
You did, and it made you want to cry. Because you weren’t his girl. He was only saying these things because he was tipsy. “Okay. You had your fun, so why don’t you get some sleep?”
His smile fell away. “No,” he muttered, pulling you into his lap in the blink of an eye and putting his face in your neck. “I’m fine right here.”
His lips against your skin had you shivering, and it wasn’t possible to break from his hold. Being this close felt like a dream, but he was tipsy and you had to be the responsible one. “Um
 a little help?” you asked.
“Of course.” Thor stepped forward. “Allow me.”
You smiled at the God of Thunder. “Thanks, I
” You stopped when he draped a blanket over you and Bucky. Where did that even come from? “That wasn’t what I-”
“And some water,” he smiled as Bucky nuzzled your neck with a happy moan. You tried not to let that moan turn you on. You had to be good. “Men, let us take our leave.”
“Behave, jerk,” Steve said as Thor shuffled everyone from the room.
“Shut up, punk,” Bucky snarled, nuzzling you again. The lights dimmed, too. It was almost romantic. “Not you, pretty girl. You can say whatever you want.”
You had to laugh. Laughter was better than worrying about what would happen in the morning. “So, I’m your pretty girl?”
“Yep,” he said with a smile. “All mine.”
“Okay, Sarge,” you smiled sadly. “I’m your pretty girl.”
Relaxing in his hold, you could pretend until he was sober that you were.
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Love and thanks for participating in Ficlet Friday! ❀ And this one may be fun to continue.
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smileysuh · 8 months ago
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nerd
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🌙 starring. Jeon Wonwoo x afab!Reader
🔼 preview. Look up at me for a moment, gorgeous,” Wonwoo commands, and you do as you’re told. He meets your gaze, his skin flushed from your mouth suctioning on his cock. “Just need to get your eyes right for your character,” he explains, threading his fingers through your hair and aiding you up and down on his throbbing length. “Such pretty eyes. You look so good staring up at me with your mouth stuffed full, baby.”
tw/cw. Unprotected sex, use of dragon knotted dildo toy, use of vibrator, multiple reader orgasms, blow job, dirty talk, slight power play/humiliation, clit sucking, overstimulation, pussy stretching, reader rides the toy then Wonwoo uses the toy to make her cum again, talking reader through it, mutual masturbation, Wonwoo strokes himself off to the reader using her toys, etc
 I pet names: (hers) baby. (Wonwoo’s) puppy
đŸ‘č rating.18+ explicit I wc. 3.9k
🍭 aus. Established relationship au, gamer!Wonwoo, etc

☀ mlist + an. I know this is on the shorter side, it’s pwp, but I’ve been reading shorter things lately, and I’ve been insanely busy, so I figured a short and sweet fic couldn’t hurt after last month's near 20k meanie fic :)
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You wake up to an empty bed, your hand stretching uselessly toward your boyfriend’s side of the mattress, to no avail. With a slight groan and a huff of sleepy annoyance, you wrap yourself tighter in your white duvet, searching for the energy to sit up.
A clicking sound has your brows furrowing, and you wrap your body tight in the blanket as you open your eyes to look around.
Wonwoo’s sitting at his gaming station in the corner of the room, large earphones snug around his head. For a guy who’s a bit of a night owl, you’re shocked he’s awake and playing video games right now, but as you stare at the screen, you realize what’s going on.
With the new Fallout TV show, Wonwoo’s been wanting to do another playthrough of Fallout 4. He’s been talking about it on Twitch streams for the better part of a week. Leave it to your boyfriend to get the energy to restart a video game at nine am on a Saturday morning.
As much as you love Wonwoo and what he does for work - being a streamer is his dream afterall - you kind of wish he was still in bed with you. He’d been up late gaming last night, and was too tired afterward to take care of your growing needs. You’re at the part of your cycle where you’ve been very horny lately, and you’d been crossing your fingers for morning sex, but by the way Wonwoo is locked in on his screen, you can guess that might not be in the cards.
You watch him a few moments longer, realizing that he’s not actively streaming. It looks like he’s just doing general character creation, but with a boyfriend as meticulous as Wonwoo, you know that could take a while.
Quietly slipping from bed, you wrap yourself in a kimono style robe that Wonwoo had got for you on a recent trip to Japan. You head to the bathroom, intent on completing your morning skin care routine, taking your time and brushing your teeth. 
When you head back to your shared room with Wonwoo fifteen minutes later, your boyfriend looks like he hasn’t even moved a muscle aside from his twitching thumbs on the controller.
Approaching Wonwoo, you lean over the back of his chair, loosely guiding your fingers across his shoulders and down to his bare chest. 
Wonwoo immediately takes his headphones off, turning to press a kiss to your cheek while you linger behind him.
“Good morning,” you breathe.
“Morning, baby,” he says, voice deep and crackly with exhaustion.
“Watcha doing?”
“Just making my Fallout character,” he responds smoothly, turning to look back at the screen. “I’m glad you’re awake actually.”
“Yeah?” you grin. “And why is that?”
“I’m almost done, and when I move onto my wife character, I want to model her after you. As good as my memory is, it’s probably better to have you here with me when I do it.”
God, he’s such a nerd.
You love him, your whole heart warming in your chest at the notion of him creating a wife character based off of you.
“Are you sure you want to put the time into that?” you ask. “We both know what happens to the wife within the first fifteen minutes of the game.”
Wonwoo only shrugs. “I woke up to your pretty face and I guess I was inspired.”
“Hey, puppy?” The pet name immediately draws his attention, and he turns to look at you, a smirk growing on his lips.
“Yes, baby?”
“Can you take a break for a bit?”
Wonwoo’s eyes scan you up and down, and then he sets his controller to the side, reaching for you instead. You allow him to lace his fingers with yours, drawing you in front of him. He positions you between his spread thighs, using his free digits to tug on the belt of your kimono robe. You don’t even need to verbalize what you need, Wonwoo knows you too well, and within seconds, your robe is opening to expose your naked body.
“I guess I didn’t really have the energy to take care of you last night,” Wonwoo admits, leaning forward to press his lips to the spot above your navel.
You let go of his hand in favour of threading your fingers through his curls, his hair teasing your sensitive skin as he presses kisses up toward your rib cage. He cups the back of your thighs, tugging you closer.
Wonwoo reaches your breasts, his tongue darting out to lick at the underside of your boob, eyes gazing up at you.
“How about a compromise?” he suggests, breath hot on your sensitive skin.
“A compromise?” Your words come out shaky as he takes your nipple into his mouth, sucking on it gently.
He hums against the sensitive bud, one hand lifting to massage your ass. Then, he pulls away from your breast, looking up at you with a grin. “I just wanna finish your character first.”
You let out a deep sigh, shaking your head at Wonwoo. You step away from him, but he grabs at your hand. “Kiss,” he instructs, and you begrudgingly lean down to press a chaste peck to his lips. His fingers thread through your hair, cupping the back of your skull to keep your mouth on his for a few moments longer, then he releases you. 
“Should only take five or ten minutes,” he tells you. “And I need you here to model.” 
“One second,” you groan, heading to your closet.
If he doesn’t want to fuck you right away, if he wants to prioritize his video game, that’s just fine. You can start without him.
You find a good sized toy, one of the dragon style ones that Wonwoo had been obsessed with a few months ago. He loves watching the coulourful, ribbed cock with a wide ‘knot’ base work you open for him, and fuck it, today feels like a good day for you to enjoy it too.
You also grab a trusty black vibrator and a bottle of lube for good measure before going back to your boyfriend.
Wonwoo doesn’t say anything as you sink to the ground, he simply pushes his chair back, giving you some space to settle under the table his computer is on. You can feel his gaze on you when you open the bottle of lube, squirting some onto the toy before suctioning it to the floor.
“Five or ten minutes, right?” you ask, easing over the head of the toy and facing your boyfriend.
“Uh huh,” he mumbles, looking down to watch the way you sink the head of the toy into your pussy. “Think you can get all the way down to the knot with that time frame?”
“Probably,” you groan, closing your eyes to enjoy the way the tip feels inside of you. “But
 puppy, you haven’t fucked me in so long, I’m pretty tight.”
“You’ll work yourself open,” Wonwoo assures you, his attention turning back to his screen, although you can see his cock beginning to strain against the grey fabric of his sweatpants.
The tip of the toy is tapered compared to the base, with all sorts of ridges that stimulate your inner walls as you test yourself up and down. The lube makes it easy to slide an inch or two inside your aching core, and as much as you’d like to try to sink down fully, you want to go slowly with this, seeing as you have five to ten minutes.
You grab your vibrator, turning it up to a medium setting and placing it on your clit. 
Your head is bowed, thighs already quivering as the sensation of the vibrator surges through you. A moan slips past your lips, your pace quickening on the toy, another inch sinking into you with your motions.
“That’s my good baby,” Wonwoo coos, reaching down to cup your cheek.
When you look up at him, you find his gaze still fixed to his computer screen, and it makes you angry.
You bite your lower lip, bouncing faster, harder- pressing the vibrator firmly to your clit in hopes that the pleasurable sensations will distract you from your growing annoyance.
“Wonwoo-” you groan.
“Puppy,” he corrects you.
“Please-”
“Please what?” your boyfriend counters.
“Fuck me?”
Wonwoo looks down at you finally, that shit eating smirk returning to his lips. “One cock inside of you isn’t enough right now, baby?”
“No, want your cock,” you insist.
“Okay, just remember, you asked for it, and I told you five or ten minutes.” Wonwoo sighs, lifting his hips and pulling his pants down, his hard length slapping up against his lower abdomen.
You’d meant you wanted his cock in your pussy, but you suppose you hadn’t specified what you wanted him to fuck-
Sucking Wonwoo off while he creates a video game character hadn’t been on todays bingo card, but you know how your boyfriend gets when he’s gaming, and you fear this might be the only way to have a piece of him while he’s focused.
Licking your lips, you pull him closer, the wheels of his chair dragging against the ground. With the hand not on the vibrator, you grab the base of his cock, adjusting so you can wrap your mouth around the tip.
Wonwoo releases a pleased groan, and you can feel your pussy clench around the toy.
Your eyes close, your focus going to the sensations ringing through your body. You take more of the dragon cock, slowly moving up and down on it in tandem with your mouth on Wonwoo. The vibrations on your clit are still making your legs shake, and as you get lost in the feeling of blowing your lover, you think you might cum pretty quick this way.
“That’s it, baby,” Wonwoo coos. “My good girl, being so patient.”
Fuck him for praising your patience. He knows lines like that make you eager to please him in this way, eager for more whispered words of affirmation even while he’s neglecting your aching pussy, fully content with you using a toy while he prioritizes his game-
“Look up at me for a moment, gorgeous,” he commands, and you do as you’re told. He meets your gaze, his skin flushed from your mouth suctioning on his cock. “Just need to get your eyes right for your character,” he explains, threading his fingers through your hair and aiding you up and down on his throbbing length. “Such pretty eyes. You look so good staring up at me with your mouth stuffed full, baby.”
Fuck. Your toes curl at his words.
If his skin wasn’t betraying the effect you’re having on him, you’d never be able to tell by the steady baritone of his morning voice. He’s not shuddering, not breathing deeply- it makes you want to suck on him even harder. You want to earn Wonwoo’s sounds of pleasure- sounds that can be so rare from a man who uses his voice for a living.
“Hows that cock feel inside of you?” he asks, gaze shifting up to his screen again. “Getting you nice and stretched for me, huh?”
You groan around his length, sucking roughly on his sensitive tip.
Wonwoo takes a sharp breath, and your body tingles with your success of earning a strangled sound from him.
“I’m almost done,” he assures you. “But I want to watch you take the knot first, be a good girl and sink down on the toy for me.”
You pull off of his cock with a popping sound, wiping a hand across your saliva wet lips. “What does it matter to you? You can’t even see me taking this.”
“True, but I know the sounds you make when you stuff yourself full with that toy. Wanna hear your pretty sounds baby.”
How is he so good at dirty talk while still staring at his computer screen?
“Nerd,” you whisper under your breath.
“Hmm?” He looks down at you with a grin, and you know he heard what you said.
“Nothing.”
“You’re gonna get it in two minutes,” he warns.
“Lucky me,” you say sarcastically, riding the toy faster, pushing yourself closer and closer to the wide base.
Wonwoo’s left hand finds his cock, and he begins to stroke himself while you focus on your own pleasure, rubbing the vibrator back and forth along your aching clit.
A whimper escapes you when you sink all the way down to the knot of the toy, hovering over the widest section.
“That’s the sound,” Wonwoo muses. “Come on, sink down on it.”
“I’m too tight,” you tell him, moving up and down, unable to go any further onto the knotted base.
“When you take it, I’ll take you,” Wonwoo promises, stroking his cock faster.
Looking up at him, you find your boyfriend staring at you now. He’s set the controller aside, and you have his full attention.
“Can’t you just fuck me right now?” you plead, motions stopping.
“I’m just a gamer nerd, remember, baby? Isn’t it my job to watch an angel like you make herself cum on some stupid toy before I get a taste?”
Fuck. 
He makes it sound like he’s the victim here, although clearly you’re the one aching for him.
“Puppy,” you groan, looking down and focusing on taking the knot. “I’m not wet enough-”
“Then cum. Use your vibe and make yourself cum, should make it easier.”
“But I want you,” you whine.
He laughs. “Brat.”
“Nerd,” you fire back. 
Wonwoo’s grin only widens. “Be a good girl, make yourself cum, take the dragon knot-”
“Anything else?” you huff, rubbing the vibrator hard on your clit.
“Yeah, one more thing.” Wonwoo sits back smugly in his chair, spreading his thighs even wider. “Suck my balls.” 
You narrow your eyes at him. Sucking his dick is one thing, but sucking his balls? Generally with past boyfriends, you’ve stuck to their cocks- but Wonwoo has a very specific way of challenging you to do things like this. 
He knows you can’t refuse. He carries all the cards. If you want his dick inside of you, you’re going to have to do this for him. It’s not like you hate sucking balls, it’s not like you’ve ever voiced it to him that this is a boundary for you, it’s just
 regularly, you’d rather
 well, you’d rather not. 
But you suppose this is what you get for calling him a nerd. 
With a sigh, you lean forward, licking at the space just below the fingers wrapped around the base of his cock.
“Don’t be shy,” he tells you. 
You decide to focus mainly on your own pleasure while you take one of his balls into your mouth. He’s doing this to degrade you, to get back at you for being impatient- but at the same time, from the contented groan that leaves his lips, you know Wonwoo’s sensitive in this area. 
His sounds do make things easier for you, and you close your eyes, rubbing your clit hard with the vibrator.
“That’s it,” he coos. “I love it when you’re a good girl for me.”
You whimper at his words, your core throbbing desperately.
“Better be fast and cum though, I’m not sure I can handle much of this, you’re just so good with your mouth.”
And now he’s threatening to not even fuck you? He’ll stroke himself to the finish line if you don’t cum first?
This man will be the death of you.
“Come on, baby, I know you want to cum,” he encourages you. “Be a good girl and just do it, cum from that vibrator and the dragon cock inside your tight fucking pussy.”
His words are the last straw and you pull off his balls to let out a deep groan. You bury your face against his thigh, pussy fluttering as your orgasm slams into you. Your walls contract around what you can take of the toy, and you feel a rush of wetness coat the silicon, helping you bob up and down even faster-
“That’s it,” Wonwoo breathes, rubbing his cock even faster. “Just a little more and I’ll fuck you.”
You whimper like a whore in heat, biting gently against Wonwoo’s thigh as you push yourself to sink further onto the toy, your inner walls screaming at you due to the stretch.
“Good girl,” your boyfriend praises you, petting you with a warm hand that makes your entire body ache.
You turn the vibrator off, nearly overstimulated. Tossing it to the side you focus on the dildo, feeling your pussy stretch to accommodate part of the knot.
“Almost there,” Wonwoo says, and by the way he’s stroking his cock, you’re not sure if he’s talking about you or himself.
“Wonwoo, please,” you beg. “I can’t-”
“You’re the one who wanted to be filled today, just take a little more and I’ll fill you,” he says, his motions faltering on his length. 
You grab at his thighs, squeezing and using him for leverage to rock up and down on the toy. Your eyes clench shut as you bob up and down, your wetness coating the silicon until-
You let out a gasp as you sink fully onto the toy, pausing while your thighs quiver. Another mini orgasm rushes through you at the feeling of being stretched this way, the knot stuck in your sensitive hole-
“That’s it,” Wonwoo says, moving into action immediately. He pushes away from you, standing up. Hands that are surprisingly gentle reach down and pull you to your feet, making you cry out from the way the toy is still lodged inside of you. “Fuck, you are tight,” he notes from the way the dragon cock didn’t immediately shoot out of you from the change in position. 
“Puppy-” you whimper, already delirious. 
Wonwoo helps you onto the bed, sinking to his knees at the foot of the mattress. He spreads your thighs, and you look down to see his pupils blow with lust while he stares at the large toy still embedded in your pussy.
He licks his lips. “Fuck, I always love it when you take this fucking knot.”
You whisper his name, moaning loudly when he grabs the base of the toy and gently thrusts it in and out of you. 
Then, he shifts, and his tongue finds your clit. “One more?” he practically pleads. “Then another when I’m inside of you?”
It’s been days since he’s made you cum, and it feels like today, he’s going to make up for that. You can bet that by tonight, you’ll have lost track of how many times you’ve orgasmed, and you honestly don’t mind.
“Please,” you whisper, reaching down to thread your fingers in his sleep tossled curls.
Wonwoo wraps his lips around your clit, gently rocking the toy inside of you. He doesn’t pull it all the way out, just shifts the knot along your sensitive walls, stretched to the limit and already throbbing.
“Fuck, that’s so good, puppy,” you groan, throwing your head back, eyes clenching shut. You begin to rock your hips, feeling impossibly full- his mouth suctions lewdly around your sensitive bud and your entire body quakes, thighs shaking on either side of his head. “Shit-”
Wonwoo grins against your pussy, an invitation for you to cum on the toy-
Fuck, you need him so badly, and your need spurs your body on, your muscles clenching as you teeter on the edge of an orgasm.
His teeth graze your clit and that’s all you need to topple over the edge, your legs attempting to close around Wonwoo while your pussy throbs desperately around the toy. The sounds escaping you now are practically inhumane, your entire body overtaken by white hot pleasure that courses through you like an electric wave.
Wonwoo pulls the toy from your core and you jolt from the loss, eyes opening to stare down at your boyfriend-
He releases your clit from your mouth, standing quickly. “Fuck, you look so good cumming on that stupid toy,” Wonwoo groans, grabbing the base of his cock and lining his tip up with your still aching pussy. “Gonna fill you now, like I promised.”
He sheaths himself inside of you and you let out a loud moan of releif. “Puppy,” you whimper, making grabby hands at him.
Wonwoo wastes no time, shifting his knees onto the bed, getting on top of you so he can press his lips to yours. Your tongues begin to clash immediately, and the kiss feels almost feverish as you tangle your fingers in his curls.
He’s such a good kisser, but you can hardly focus on his lips with the way his hips are already moving, thrusting so the tip of his cock hits your cervix with each motion-
“Fuck, fuck-” you whimper, feeling tears in your eyes from the overstimulation.
Wonwoo’s mouth finds your throat, his mouth narrowing in on your sweet spot, sucking roughly.
“Puppy-” you cry, tangling your legs tighter around his hips.
“I know, I’m close too,” he pants. “Watching you take that fucking knot just does something to me-”
Your core throbs at his words- you’d guessed he’d been close while jacking off, but hearing him say it this directly makes you even hornier. Your pussy is a sloppy mess, so wet that each thrust has it practically squelching.
 “Please, puppy, please-” you pant, nuzzling against his cheek and licking at his sensitive ear. “Want your cum, want it so bad.”
“Fuck,” Wonwoo groans. “Rub your clit, need you squeezing me when I cum.” 
You shove a hand between your bodies, nearly crying from the sensitivity of your overworked bud- but you’re not about to give up now. You’re not a weakling, and if Wonwoo wants one more orgasm out of you, you’ll give him one.
“Feels so good,” you gasp, rubbing even harder, your core clenching tight around Wonwoo’s cock while he pants loudly in your ear.
“Need you to cum,” he grits out, fingers digging into your hips. “Come on, baby, cum for me.”
You shut your eyes tight, focusing on all the pleasure surging through you, and when Wonwoo bites gently into your throat, your high hits you straight on.
You gasp loudly, back arching off of the bed, pushing your tits toward Wonwoo’s chest. He releases his own sound of pleasure, and you can feel his cock throbbing while your walls clench around him, painting your insides as you both cum hard. 
You listen to his moans, loving the way he grabs you tightly as he cums, his thrusts faltering, motions shallow, as if he wants to be as deep as possible when he fills you up.
Your lips find his throat, pressing kisses there that make him shiver as you ride out your orgasms, and soon, your muscles are relaxing, the tightness making way for a slacked, exhausted feeling that overwhelms you.
Wonwoo stills on top of you, panting loudly by your ear.
“I think
” he swallows thickly. “I think we should go back to sleep now.”
You laugh, petting his curls. “What about your precious video game?”
“Fuck the video game,” he counters. “Right now, I’m going to clean you up, go back to sleep with you curled on my chest, then we can wake up in a few hours, do it again, get takeout-”
“You have the whole day planned out, don’t you, nerd?”
Wonwoo only laughs. “Don’t test me, baby.”
“Never.”
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☀ mlist + an. Thank you so much for reading! As much as I love longer fics, I'm such an avid reader of pwp for the anime's I watch, so I wanted to do something shorter and easier for those who like a bite sized fic instead of a full course meal :)
🍭 support me by. sending a tip here or here - or become a patron to access monthly bonus content and extensions for fics like this one :) find the Patreon teaser below! 
🔼 preview. “That’s it,” Wonwoo coos. He simply can’t help his dominant tendencies. How is it that you’re supposed to be the one in control, but it still feels like he’s got you wrapped around his finger... And his cock.
cw/ tw. Unprotected sex, handcuff bondage, reader tries to dom Wonwoo, edging, oral, blow job, pussy eating, 69, choking, dirty talk, pet names, reader is slightly in control, Wonwoo breaks the handcuffs, slight crying/dacryphilia, power dynamic, power switch, teasing, creampie, slight fallout roleplay, masturbation, deep throating, etc
   I petnames. (hers) baby (his) puppy, sir 
đŸ‘č rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 3k I teaser wc. 130
🌙 starring. Wonwoo x afab!Reader
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bonus
“Hey, puppy?” you call, standing in the doorway of your bedroom, watching your boyfriend close up his stream for the night.
“Yes, baby?”
The nerd doesn’t even look up from what he’s doing, but you suppose that’s no new behaviour. With a huff, you disconnect from the door frame, sauntering over to Wonwoo, your skin tight outfit squeezing you with each step.
Leaning over his back, you allow your hands to dance across his chest, Wonwoo looks down, and that’s when you get his attention.
His body goes rigid, and he slowly turns to look at you, taking in the full body Fallout Vault dweller costume you’re wearing.
“Baby
” Wonwoo lets out a chuckle, “what are you doing?”
“Playing into your addiction,” you say smoothly. “What, you don’t like it?”
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thanergetic-hyperlinks · 2 months ago
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Tamsyn Muir's writing beyond The Locked Tomb
Y'all, turns out there's lots of imagery and themes in TLT that Muir was already playing with in her earlier fiction. A lot of it is easily available online, in which case I'll link to it. (The short stories that aren't can also be easily read if googled, to be quite honest—that's how I read The Deepwater Bride and Why the Mermaids Left Boralus). ‱ The House That Made the Sixteen Loops of Time (2011)
5K. Short sort-of-cozy romance (?) with (you guessed it) a time travel loop. Explores a very queer potential relationship. CamPal enjoyers might find a similar sweetness.
‱ The Magician's Apprentice (2012, Lightspeed Magazine)
5K. This is the one that stopped me dead on my tracks. It features an older, male mentor figure called John (a “very ordinary man” with “dark eyes”) who introduces the young, female main character to magic that has a terrible cost—and to literature such as Lolita. This excellent post by @familyabolisher does an incredible job of analyzing the very deliberate intertextual links between TLT and Lolita.
‱ The Woman in the Hill (2015, Lightspeed Magazine, originally for Dreams From the Witch House anthology of Lovecraftian horror by women)
4K. Possibly my favorite! It's a straightforward Lovecraftian horror, centered on the image of the woman (is it human though?) trapped in an unnatural pool inside a cursed cave. Chain imagery too. It does something different from Alecto, mind, but you can see links, ways of playing with facets of a strong central image. It's fun to consider how reliable the two narrators are. Here's an analysis and afterthought from Reactor Mag.
‱ Chew (2013) 4K. Zombie abuse and cannibalistic revenge story ft. an uncanny woman revenant, told from the eyes of a traumatized German boy. I was strongly reminded of Harrow's conversations with the Body. Tamsyn gave an interview on the themes and her intentions. Interesting to read in light of Alecto, I think, although I don't think she's going the same route in TLT: “the idea of post-war rebuilding connecting to rebuilding the body of the zombie; a Frankenstein who once rebuilt doesn’t act as planned or desired. [
] I love cannibalism [
] it’s innately spiritual [
] any afterlife she goes to, he’s going too.”
‱ Apothecia (2014, published on Tumblr and tapas.io)
Short webcomic where an alien monster tries to corrupt the ruthless human girl who holds it captive. Musings on responsibility and murder, mention of child abuse. The alien's speech patterns remind me of a Resurrection Beast. You get wonderful dialogue like “Murder is a profession. Job. Employment, you tiny leg dog. There you are, walking along. Walk walk walk. Now you are a walker. Good job. Special child. Murder is like this.” Art by Shelby Cragg.
‱ The Deepwater Bride (2015, Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine)
The opening line is: “In the time of our crawling Night Lord's ascendancy, foretold by exodus of starlight into his sucking astral wounds, I turned sixteen and received Barbie's Dream Car.” Need I say more? Extremely fun. A novelette where a young queer girl from a clairvoyant family struggles with an apocalyptic event while being annoyed by another very plucky girl. Lots of descriptions with nerdy marine zoology terms. Close in tone to Gideon. In the background, someone dies EXACTLY like that one death at the end of Gideon, which makes me wonder what happened to make Tamsyn interested in this particular image. I also liked that Tamsyn is aware of Nightwish. No link, but you'll get a PDF immediately if you Google.
‱ Union (2015, Clarkesworld Magazine)
5.5K. Very weird, extremely Kiwi story about a town that gets sent lab-grown wives by the government, but they're not made the usual way so they're Weird and people have feelings about it. Fascinating and eerie description of non-human (in some people's eyes, sub-human) women (?) who cannot be observed to have recognizable feelings or thoughts, yet have some sort of inner life. Quite touching, very uncanny.
‱ Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower (2020)
Short novel (~200 pages). Very funny. I was reminded of Coronabeth because the whole plot is “princess finds herself branching out into decidedly non-princess-like activities”, but other than that—this is a fairytale for adults about people who make eachother worse. No particular links to TLT but a very fun read with some gut punches. Extremely Tamsyn through and through, what with the dubious morality and all.
‱ Why the Mermaids Left Boralus (2021, in Folk & Fairy Tales of Azeroth by Blizzard Entertainment)
Set in the World of Warcraft universe. Haven't read this one yet, will report back lmao. As with The Deepwater Bride, no link but I easily found a PDF of the entire compilation. It's illustrated!
‱ Undercover (2022, from Into Shadow, Amazon Original Collection)
Haven't read it either. Will edit once I do.
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planetveensz · 1 month ago
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the feeling that remains — ellie williams
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— part 1/7 you meet ellie during highschool, the catalyst of some of the best years of your life... until they aren't. three years after breaking up, you're trying to move on with your life. dina and jesse are getting married; and when dina asks you to be one of her bridesmaids, how could you refuse? but guess who just so happens to be jesse's best (wo)man? tw: second chance romance! exes to lovers! modern!au, fem!reader, slow burn, mult storylines, angst, fluff, first meetings, religious trauma, homophobia, gay slurs, drinking, smoking, mild violence, possibly some ooc vibes, eventual smuttt :p wk: 5.4k, spotify playlist! an: ellie my wife <3 i hope i do you justice in this fic <3 this is probably going to be a bit slower to update, once every two weeks maybe? a lot of this is based off my own personal experiences as a gay woman so it's very near and dear to me :) i am always open to suggestions, feedback, and ideas! so pls send them in! enjoy xx
series masterlist | part 2
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IT RAINED THE NIGHT you first met Ellie.
You knew who she was; there were always rumors about her floating around school. People called her terrible names behind her back, said she was someone you shouldn’t hang around. You avoided her not because you believed them, but because you were intimidated by her. 
Ellie was devastatingly pretty; had such kind green eyes and a sweet smile, she was also way cooler than you could ever dream of being. You were sure if you tried to speak to her you wouldn’t get one word out, she made you so nervous.
You watched her diligently from inside Dina’s living room, a paper party hat on your head. Dina invited you over to celebrate her 16th birthday, throwing a small party. Her parents were out of town and her big sister Talia had gotten her hands on some alcohol. You’d known Dina from a very young age; you went to the same preschool and became best friends in kindergarten. Dina was one of your only friends, aside from the girls in your church choir. 
Now that you had entered the second half of your sophomore year, you felt as if Dina stayed friends with you out of pity. She was always dragging you along, taking it upon herself to invite you to things. You appreciated it but had an inkling no one else wanted you around like she did. Dina required that you made an appearance at all events she hosted; she was also sure to bring you to bonfires and house parties, claiming you as her “plus one”.
You sighed and passed a red solo cup from one hand to the other, wiping the condensation off on your jeans. You were tipsy, it was the second time you had ever had alcohol outside of church. When you first arrived, you eyed the cup Dina handed you suspiciously. “Don’t worry,” Dina said, “you won’t go to hell for getting a little drunk.” 
You had taken the cup with a shy smile. “Happy birthday, Dina.” You handed her the gift you’d been holding in your other hand. She gasped, hands falling on your shoulders with the most gleeful smile on her face. 
The wrapping was perfectly done, you had hunched over the thing until every line was parallel and taped down perfectly. You finished it with a charming blue ribbon, tied in a neat bow at the front. “Oh, it’s lovely!” Dina gushed and you preened under her kind words. She untied the bow and carefully ripped open the paper to reveal her present. She squealed, pulling out the special edition copy of Pride and Prejudice. “You shouldn’t have!”
Really, you shouldn’t have. You saved up every cent you earned from chores the last four months to afford the book, but you wanted to spoil Dina. She deserved it, for sticking with you all these years, for being such a good friend. Before you could reply, she snapped that stupid party hat on your head and gave you a big kiss on the cheek. “You’re precious,” Dina said earnestly, “I adore you.”
You flushed at her words, unable to take the compliment. You scratched the back of your neck, attempting to brush off the twisting feeling in your stomach. You laughed awkwardly, “thanks.” Dina snorted, patting the same cheek she’d smooched.
“Now drink up, church girl, the party just started!”
You’d lost sight of Dina a while ago, choosing to stand aside in the living room while people chattered around you. Some music was bumping from an old speaker Dina thrifted with you a few months ago. There weren’t that many guests, a handful of people you knew from school, some of Talia’s friends as well. Ellie was sitting on the back porch around the firepit with Jesse and a couple of buddies, smoking a joint and talking loudly with each other. 
The fire flickered and illuminated the freckles on her cheeks. You smiled to yourself when you noticed her dimple became more prominent the more animatedly she spoke. That’s when the rain started, along with a boom of thunder in the sky. Your little bubble popped and everyone shuffled inside, opting to sit in the living room. You could feel the strained expression form on your face as it became more crowded.
Jesse noisily suggested playing truth or dare and you took that as your cue to leave. You snuck off into the kitchen, filling a glass with water. Your mouth had gone dry from your drink and your head was swimming a little from the effects of the alcohol. The water soothed your throat as you drank it.
“Not interested in playing games?” You choked on the mouthful you were about to swallow, whipping around to see Ellie leaning against the entranceway to the kitchen. Her eyebrows raised at your reaction and you could see that she was fighting off a smile.
You wiped your mouth with your hand. “N-no. Well, yes, I mean—” you paused. “Just needed some water.” You lifted the cup in your hand. 
“I can see that.” Her smile was sly and precarious. You weren’t sure if she was teasing, flirting, or making fun of you.
You squinted your eyes at her, “are you not interested? In playing games, I mean.” Ellie took a few steps towards you. Her auburn hair was damp from the rain and you could smell it on her sweatshirt; an earthy, rich scent.
She plucked the cup from your hands, sipping on your water. She placed it on the counter, empty. “Not really, no. They’re lame.” She tilted her head at you, a hazy look in her eyes.
“Are you high?”
She laughed right in your face, “yes, you priss. That’s what happens when you smoke.”
A raging warmth bloomed on your face. This was maybe the second time you’d ever spoken to Ellie alone; the previous being a bunch of stuttered sentences while you both waited for Dina to join you after school. You didn’t remember her being this snarky. “Okay.” You stressed, “no need to be rude.” You crossed your arms defensively.
She huffed through her nose, a smile on her lips. She flicked the hat on your head. “Just messing with you.” She bit her bottom lip and your gut twisted in anticipation.
You ripped the hat off your head, placing it on the counter next to the cup; suddenly feeling juvenile for wearing it. You plucked up all of the courage you had, from the alcohol and pure spite. “You sure you aren’t being a flirt? I’ve heard things about you, Williams,” you tilted your head playfully so she knew you were joking too.
She was full-on grinning, her eyes sparkled. That dimple below the left corner of her mouth appeared. Your breath caught in your throat. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” She leaned in slightly, looking at you with an expression that made butterflies flutter in your stomach.
You scrunched your nose at her, genuinely smiling for the first time that night since seeing Dina. “Y’know,” you turned your head away from her, looking up at the ceiling to avoid her piercing green eyes, “I’ve never smoked before.” 
Her smirk was pure electricity, “well, that just won’t do.” The cutesy butterflies became a hoard of bats when she pulled a new joint out of her back pocket. Her hand grasped yours and you were taken aback at how soft her skin was. You stared at your conjoined hands as she began pulling you to the other side of the kitchen, towards the connecting hallway.
You laughed and allowed her to lead you upstairs to the last door on the right, Dina’s room. Ellie shut the door behind you both and plopped herself on Dina’s window seat. You watched, frozen, as she wrestled the creaky old window open and stuck the joint in her mouth. “C’mere,” she nodded to the space next to her, speaking around the joint, “I don’ bite.”
You sprung into action, stumbling over to her. You sat next to her, your knees knocking against hers. She lit the joint, sucking in air so that the end ignited. She grasped it between her pointer finger and thumb as she passed it to you. “Now, don’t inhale too much, you’re gonna cough a lot cuz this is your first time.” She facilitated, “just take small hits until your throat’s used to the burn.”
You nodded, letting her words sink in. You brought the joint to your mouth, curling your lips around the filter, and breathed in. The taste was pleasant, but the burn was not. You immediately let out a cough, a puff of smoke escaping your mouth, unable to help yourself. You passed the joint back to her.
She smiled at you knowingly, “I was really bad the first time I smoked,” she laughed slightly, “nobody told me to take it easy so I inhaled way too much.” She took a hit of her own. “Coughed so hard I threw up.”
You let out a surprised laugh, shocked to hear that someone with her reputation had a story like that under her belt. “When was this?” You asked curiously.
“Back in Boston, before I moved here.” Ellie explained, “I did it right in front of the girl I had a massive crush on. It was so embarrassing.”
You smiled at her affectionately; passing the joint back and forth, you allowed a light daze to settle over your mind. “The first time I ever drank, Dina and I snuck a whole glass of vodka from her mom’s stash during a sleepover. We got so drunk we had to lay on the floor, everything was spinning so bad.”
Ellie gave you a bemused smile, “damn, church girl has a bad side.”
“I didn’t really want to do it at first, but, y’know,” you shrugged, picking your fingernails.
“What?” Ellie urged.
“It’s Dina.” You stated.
Ellie nodded, understanding settling on her face. “Oh, so you have a crush on Dina?”
“What?” You exclaimed, “no! I mean, she’s my best friend—”
“Yeah.” Ellie interrupted, “your best friend. Don’t worry, your secret is safe with me.” She shoved your shoulder, laughing at your mortified face. “All closeted girls fall in love with their best friend, it’s a right of passage.”
“Wha—?” Your face flamed with embarrassment, “Ellie, I am not gay. It’s a sin.”
Her eyebrows raised at you and she scoffed. “Right.” She said.
“I have nothing against gay people,” you held your hands up, attempting to explain yourself, “I just can’t—I can’t be gay.” She chewed the inside of her cheek as you accepted the joint from her hands, taking an especially large hit. You cough like crazy when you pass it back to her. “I have no problem with you, I’m sorry I said that.”
“‘s okay.” She said, tucking a stray piece of hair behind her ear and dropping her head to gaze at her shoes.
“No, it’s not.” You leaned forward so that you could look her in the eye. “I’m not like the other kids at school, I’m not some bigot.”
Ellie laughed at you again, “I got it, I got it.” Her eyes sparkled when the moonlight bounced off of them; you found yourself needing to catch your breath, chest tight. It was the smoke, just the smoke. 
There was a knowing look on her face when she looked at you again, like she understood something you didn’t. “So, what exactly have you heard about me, then?” She asked you suddenly.
“That you’re a
 raging lesbian that sells drugs and fights people for fun.” You crooked a smile at her when you said it. Ellie laughed out loud, cackling with her head thrown back. You couldn’t help but join in.
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IT BEGAN TO RAIN when your flight took off for California.
You had the window seat and because of your anxiety, you held your pee for three hours instead of squeezing past your neighbors to get to the restroom. While rushing to the airport bathroom, you felt a string of buzzing in your pocket. You pulled your phone out and watched as nearly a hundred texts from Jesse pinged on your phone, stress-ridden and panicked; finally loading after you got cell service again.
You smiled wistfully, using the toilet before even attempting to respond let alone read his manic word vomit. You headed to the baggage carousel as you began to sift through the messages. Most were just mangled screaming, some half-literate, some fully realized thoughts. You rolled your eyes affectionately, a smile tugging on your lips.
Jesse was asking Dina to marry him today.
Instead of sending a supportive text, you decided giving Jesse a call would do a lot more good. He picked up after the first ring. “Jess,” you greeted carefully, “I got your messa—”
“Please help me!” He wailed on the other side of the phone. You attempted to disrupt the laugh that passed through your lips with a cough; he had never sounded this frazzled before.
“What’s wrong?” You urged, eyes flickering to the conveyor belt as it started spitting out suitcases.
“I’m not sure if I should wear the blue suit with a red tie or the black suit with the black tie or the gray suit—”
“Jesse, dude,” you said slowly, “please, calm down. You’re working yourself up for no reason.” You spotted your luggage and huffed as you lifted it off the carousel. “This proposal is super intimate and private, I don’t think you should wear a suit at all.”
“But Joel said—”
“Jess, I love and respect Joel so much, but don’t take advice from a man who’s never been married and hasn’t had to worry about what he’s wearing for a woman since Ellie graduated from college.” You said expressionlessly, all in one breath. There was a pause over the phone. 
Jesse erupted into laughter. “Oh, man,” it sounded like he was wiping a tear, “I can always count on you to make me feel better.”
You couldn’t help the smile that twitched onto your lips. “You should wear dark bottoms with a light top or light bottoms with a dark top. Think dressed up casual, if you go too fancy it’ll clash with the location.” You had the phone wedged between your ear and your shoulder as you fiddled with your purse, trying to grab your sunglasses. “I’ll find some inspiration for you on Pinterest.”
“Ugh, you’re a lifesaver.” Jesse sounded much more relaxed. “Thank you.”
“Of course, Jess, call me if you need anything else, okay?” He made an affirmative sound before you said your goodbyes and hung up. You chuckled, shaking your head at your best friend.
Your next call was to Talia, who said she was parked in front of your terminal. The California heat embraced you when you stepped outside of the airport lobby; it felt like coming home. You loved the feeling of the dry, unforgiving air against your skin. It had been too long.
A melancholy feeling took hold of your heart, squeezing it gently within its bitter palm. So much had changed since you were last in Cali; everything had changed the day you left Cali.
Talia drove a swanky little Volkswagen Beetle, it was a bright yellow and she had the top down. The wind brushed your balmy skin as you drove along the Californian coast; it was like a dream realized. In two hours, your best friends would be engaged.
“The engagement party’s gonna have an open bar,” Talia grinned, one hand on the steering wheel, “you better know I’m gonna abuse that shit after all the trouble we’ve gone through.”
It was true; keeping this massive secret from Dina, being emotional support for Jesse, and helping to plan the proposal. It was a lot of work, but it was worth it.
“She’s going to love it so much, I don’t even care how stressed I’ve been.” You replied, imagining the look that was going to be on Dina’s face when she showed off her ring. 
Most guests didn’t know what the party Jesse had planned was actually for, meaning it’d be a shock for nearly everyone there. Dina loved surprises and having a surprise engagement party after her proposal was going to be like icing on the cake for her.
Talia hesitated and you looked at her inquisitively, “...are you like—worried about Ellie being there?”
You laughed nervously in response,  “now that is something I’m not thinking about.” And you really hadn’t. You had gotten so good at pushing Ellie and all of the emotional baggage that came with her out of your mind. You forced yourself not to think about her; to keep her intimate smiles and loving giggles from resonating in your head.
It had been three years; having thoughts about your ex after that long was kind of concerning.
Talia relented, allowing you to stop the conversation before it happened. You spoke about the dress you’d brought to wear to the party and sent Jesse some outfit ideas from your Dina + Jesse Wedding Inspiration board.
Dina’s face sparkled as bright as the darling ring on her left fourth finger. Just as you thought it would. You were over the moon for her; the choked gasp she let out when she saw you for the first time in the cramped bar nearly made you sink to your knees. Your sweet Dina was finally getting everything she’d dreamed of.
“You’re here!” She exclaimed into your hair as she hugged you tight against her.
You rubbed her back, “of course I am. I wouldn’t miss this for the world.” When you pulled apart her eyes were wet with emotion.
“Ugh,” she dabbed at her lashes, “don’t make me cry, you fucker.”
She’d slipped away into the crowd not much longer after that, tending to the other guests who were congratulating her and Jesse. Before you could huddle back into a corner, Jesse squeezed you into his embrace and kissed the top of your head. The tears that burned the back of your eyes convinced you to grab another drink before disappearing.
You signaled to the bartender, who approached you with a smile. “Whiskey, neat,” you said, propping your arms onto the bartop. “Please.”
“I see some things never change.”
Your head whipped to your right at the sound of a familiar drawling voice.
Ellie Williams’ gorgeous green eyes met yours, a hundred-watt smile forming on her face that sent your heart into palpitations. She was wider, fuller, clearly stronger. All signs of youth had been erased from her face with age. She’d always been annoyingly attractive, but apparently, you couldn’t catch a break from that fact even if she was your ex-girlfriend.
Even if she was your biggest heartbreak.
“Ellie,” her name left your mouth like a whisper, or maybe a prayer. How long had you secretly begged to see her again?
“Hey,” she greeted; leaning coolly against the bar, propping her tattooed forearm on the edge. You swallowed thickly.
“When’d—” your voice cracks, “when’d you get here? I didn’t see you come in.”
Her gaze swept down the length of your body and it felt like she just casually set you on fire. “I snuck in a couple minutes ago. I missed the big entrance, don’t tell anyone.” She gave you a half-smile, that fucking dimple creasing the corner of her mouth.
You felt like you were totally fumbling this interaction. She had completely thrown you off your axis; tossed a wrench into your meticulous plans to avoid interacting with her. The bartender placed your drink in front of you and Ellie grabbed their attention to order her own.
You gulped down your whiskey in three large mouthfuls, eye twinging at the taste. Your sinuses cleared and the additional oxygen to your brain calmed you a bit. “Oh—and another whiskey for the lady, please,” Ellie said as you placed your empty glass on the bar top.
You chuckled embarrassedly when Ellie winked at you while she spoke, mortified with yourself. Oh, you were entirely falling apart.
“How’s your mom?” Ellie asked and you released a breath.
“Um—good,” you cupped the back of your neck with your hand, avoiding her face. “She moved up to Boston last year to be closer to me. She’s uh, remarried.”
Ellie’s voice raised in surprise, “oh, you’re on the East Coast now?”
“Mhm,” you nodded, sending the bartender a smile when they placed your new drink in front of you, “moved there for work.” When Ellie didn’t say anything you spared a glance at her.
She looked kind of shell-shocked, a tick in her mouth that made your gut turn. You knew why, but didn’t have the strength to say anything about it to her. “What’s Joel up to? We haven’t spoken for a while.”
Ellie forced a smile, “oh, you know. Being an old man.” She wrung her fingers together like she was building her courage. “So, were you ever gonna tell me that—”
Someone called out your name from behind you. Abby Anderson approached you with her arms open and you let out a gasp when you saw her. “Abs!” You gave her a big hug. “Jesse said you weren’t coming!”
“I wasn’t, but when I heard you’d be here—”
You smacked her shoulder playfully, “stop that.”
“I was able to use some PTO last minute.” Abby’s pouty lips pulled into a smile.
A warm hand brushed your lower back, sending a shiver up your spine. Ellie leaned down to speak softly in your ear, “I’m gonna go congratulate the happy couple, I’ll see you later?”
The musky, spicy scent of her cologne flooded your senses and everything became hazy. She smelled downright edible.
“Yeah.” You breathed out, eyes fixed on the slope of her nose and lips.
She squeezed your hip lightly as her hand moved away. “Anderson,” she greeted Abby. 
“Hey, Ellie, nice to see you,” Abby replied. Ellie sent her a two-finger salute, then walked towards the hoard of people surrounding Dina and Jesse.
“Jesus fuck,” you complained, fanning a hand on your blistering cheeks.
Abby snorted, “how ya doin’?”
You sent her a withering look. “Shut up.”
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DINA FORCED YOU to come to her house for a party again.
This time, you arrived before most guests; tupperware of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies clutched in your sweaty hands. You were nervous about the social interaction, dreading it, actually. Your hand trembled when you pushed open Dina’s front door. 
Ellie trailed in after you, keys dangling off her index finger while she held the screen door open for you. She was your designated driver for the night. You insisted you didn’t need one, you weren’t going to have more than one drink, but she wouldn’t surrender.
A cookie Ellie had hand-picked as the best from the batch was hanging out of her mouth. You suspected that was the real reason she wanted to drive you, first pick out of the cookie selection. You rounded the corner and entered the kitchen; some of your anxiety was chased away when you laid eyes on Dina and Jesse.
Jesse squealed in excitement when he saw the treats you brought over. He did a little dance when you opened up the container for him. “You are an angel.” He said as he groaned into the cookie he’d snatched.
Dina smacked his shoulder when he grabbed a second one, telling him to fuck off and save some for the rest. You could see the hearts in her eyes when he turned to her with a sweet smile on his face then devoured the second cookie in one bite.
Time passed, more people were filtering in from the frigid air. You could tell most of them pregamed, eyes drooping and cheeks flushed with blood. One especially belligerent guy you’d seen in the halls at school screamed, “Merry Christmas, bitches!” when he entered the doorway. You cringed, and Ellie laughed at the disgusted look on your face. She pulled you to the couch, shoving a glass of whiskey into your hands.
You cast another look at the sweater she was wearing, a reindeer with the word “horny” underneath it, and dropped into the cushions. “That sweater is so stupid,” you told her for the third time that night, and she gave you a devious smile.
“So you’ve said.” She plopped down next to you, spreading her legs comfortably, “I think you’re secretly jealous. Your sweater looks straight out of a granny catalog.”
You gasp, feigning offense. “How dare you!” Glancing down at your cheerful sweater, you realized that maybe it kind of did look like it could be found in an old lady’s arts-and-craft magazine. There were three snowmen lined up across the front with sewn-in sequins, pom-poms, and other knick-knacks as decoration. You sighed defeatedly, “but you’re right.”
Ellie shoved you on the shoulder as she laughed. You loved seeing her this way, carefree and relaxed. Whether it was the false bravado or misconstrued rumors, your impression of Ellie before your friendship began was completely wrong.
In the months since Dina’s window, you’d learned how similar Ellie really was to you. She preferred the quiet; she liked to read, play video games, and have movie nights. You look back on how nervous you were around her and laugh, Ellie was a big dorky sweetheart at her core. Nothing like the sly playboy-like image you had in your head.
You pulled your legs up, turned to face her, and tucked your socked feet under her thigh as you sipped on your drink. The burn in your throat was pleasant. You leaned your side against the back of the couch as you asked her, “have you finished Jane Eyre yet?”
“No! Shit, I’m sorry!” She turned to you with wide, guilty eyes. You laughed against the back of your hand at her expression. “I’ve been meaning to finish it, but I’ve been playing that game I told you about,” her hands flailed as she spoke, “you wouldn’t believe what happened.”
You suddenly focused in on the way her mouth moved as she spoke. The way she pressed them together when she was thinking of a word to use, the way she licked her bottom lip between sentences. She was so enthusiastic when she talked about the things she was interested in, her eyes lighting up with delight.
You realized that you had been tuning out her words as you stared, only catching the last half of her rant. “Is this about your fungus game?” You asked, playing dumb so that you could see the annoyed expression form on her face. 
“I’ll have you know that fungus game is the most emotionally tormenting thing I have ever played in my entire life.” She stated, looking you dead in the eye.
“Oh, I believe you. Remember how you called me crying—”
“No.” Ellie cut in. You laughed into your whiskey as you took another sip.
“I wonder if I’d survive that apocalypse.” You mused out loud and Ellie snorted from beside you.
“Definitely not,” she said confidently, “you’re too sweet, you’d die after ten minutes outside.”
You gave her an offended look. “I am not that sweet, I’m just nice to you because you’re my friend.”
“Yeah, right.” Ellie teased, “you feel guilty after killing spiders.”
“They are an essential part of our ecosystem!” You defended yourself. 
Ellie snickered like she’d won the argument; you opened your mouth to make another point when someone cleared their throat from beside you. That drunk boy you recognized from earlier stood in front of the couch, glancing between the two of you. “Hey.” He greeted.
“Hi?” Ellie responded, the tone of her voice raising into a mocking question.
The boy didn’t deter, “I’m Axel.”
“Okay?” Ellie’s voice became more sarcastic.
He was looking at you when he asked, “do you want another drink?”
You glanced at your nearly-empty glass of whisky and shrugged, “honestly, I’m good, I wasn’t planning on having more than one. Thanks, though.”
“‘Cmon,” Axel smiled broadly at you, “it’s Christmas! Just have one more—”
“She said no, Axel,” Ellie said firmly, “why don’t you fuck off?”
Axel scoffed, his eyes still trained on you, “why do you even hangout with this faggot?”
Before Ellie could get up to put him in his place, before she could even react to his words, you were out of your seat. Ellie could only watch stunned as you punched Axel so hard in his face that he stumbled, dropped his drink, then fell to the floor. There was a lull in the crowd of people as they watched it all unfold, Jesse pushing through the kitchen to see the commotion.
If that wasn’t enough, you stomped towards a man already wounded, rearing your foot back threateningly. That’s when Ellie finally reacted, standing up quickly and grabbing you around the waist to pull you away as you screamed, “don’t you ever use that word you limp-dick, good-for-nothing—”
“Whoa, whoa!” Jesse held his hands up, trying to calm you down. “What the hell is going on?”
“Get him outta here, Jesse!” You growled, fuming, “get him out or he’ll have two black eyes!”
Ellie hadn’t removed her arm from around you yet, watching as Jesse pulled the boy up and walked him to the front door. She released you when the door closed. Dina approached, grabbing your face between her hands. “You okay?” She asked, watching as you took quick, aggravated breaths.
“Yeah, I’m fine.” You said sternly, wiping at the angry tears forming in your eyes. “He called Ellie a—” you send a sidelong glance at Ellie, whose gaze hadn’t left your face during the entire altercation.
“We’re okay, Dee,” Ellie soothed, “he was just being an asshole.”
Dina nodded, looking between the two of you. You huffed, lurching towards the coat rack to grab your jacket and shoes. “Need some air.” You informed everyone before stepping out the back door.
The frigid winter air nipped at your nose as you huffed breaths into the night. Your fists were clenching and unclenching, the buzz of adrenaline still in your ears. Ellie stepped out not five minutes later, dressed in her boots and jacket.
“Hey
” she began cautiously. But you threw all caution to the wind.
“Aren’t you sick of it all?” You asked angrily, turning to look at the side of her face. Your implication goes unsaid. The rumors, the homophobia, the name calling.
“I mean, yeah, but what am I gonna do?” Ellie shrugged, unperturbed. “I can’t control anyone's actions, only my own. I choose to ignore it.” Then she smiled at you, tilting her head towards the grassy lawn, “‘cmere.” She grabbed your hand and a blanket off the back of a chair and pulled you away from the porch.
Ellie spread the blanket out in the middle of Dina’s yard, sitting on top of it and motioning for you to join her. You sighed, obliging. Your shoulders touched when you situated yourself next to her, laying down flat on your backs.
It was quiet for a few moments, then you saw it. A streak of white light flashed across the sky and you gasped; one hand jumping up and pointing to where the burning asteroid just was, the other grabbing her forearm. “A shooting star!”
When you turned your head to see if Ellie had caught it too, she was already looking at you. “Make a wish,” she said softly, her eyes just as tender as her voice.
You dropped your arm and the fingers on your other hand trailed down her forearm to lace her fingers within yours. You smiled, bad mood completely forgotten. “I wish I could see your face again when you realized I wasn’t as sweet as you thought I was.”
Ellie’s astonished expression made you giggle and squeeze her hand. “I can’t believe you.” She said earnestly, turning back to look at the stars.
“I know, I’m full of surprises.” You said cockily, proud that you threw her off so much that she hadn’t been able to come up with a single sarcastic comment. She laughed freely into the crisp night air, you watched her breaths condense and then evaporate.
An overwhelming feeling overcame you, something like endearment or adoration. “I’m so glad you’re here.” You whispered, just loud enough so she could hear you. You weren’t sure if “here” meant “here in this moment” or “here on planet Earth”, but Ellie didn’t seem to care.
She squeezed your hand back, “I’m glad you’re here, too.”
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© planetveensz 2024
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moonstruckme · 1 month ago
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hello!! I was wondering if you could do poly!marauders (can be emt marauders if you want) x reader who has sleeping trouble? either trouble going to sleep due to intrusive thoughts and anxiety, or reader who keeps waking up because of nightmares about people dying? I think the boys would be good at comforting her <3 thank you in advance, your writing is always amazing!
Thanks for requesting lovely <3
poly!marauders x fem!reader ♡ 873 words
James is talking to you in a low voice, so low Sirius can hardly make it out from just behind him. Remus’ short fingernails scratch lightly at Sirius’ scalp while they both try to listen. 
“Sweetheart,” James is near to pleading, “aren’t you tired?”
“Yeah,” you reply, just as quietly. “I am, just
I just don’t want to.” 
Sirius tuts. “You don’t get a lot of choice in the matter, baby. You have to sleep eventually.” 
“I know.” Sirius’ heart aches at how small you sound. You’re fighting a losing battle and you know it, not against your boyfriends but against your body. In some ways, your mind, too; it’s been putting you through a lot these past few nights. He wonders if the idea of sleep has ever made anyone sound so exhausted. “I hate that I can’t wake up, though. It’s like being trapped, it’s
it’s scary.” 
Remus hums sympathetically. His nails skim over the crown of Sirius’ head. “If you can move or make a sound, one of us could wake you,” he says. 
“I tried.” You’re beginning to sound teary, your voice tight. “Last night, you said you’d wake me up, but none of you did. I was screaming.” 
“We couldn’t hear you, sweetheart.” James presses a sorry kiss to your forehead. 
“I know,” you whimper. “Sorry, I know it’s not your fault.” 
Remus’ fingers leave Sirius’ hair, elbow denting the pillow as he sits up to see you. “Hey, come here.” 
Sirius makes way as you crawl carefully across the bed, going to James’ chest instead. One of James’ hands sneaks underneath Sirius’ shirt to rest over his abdomen. Sirius lays his over it, intertwining their fingers. Meanwhile, Remus is tucking you underneath his chin, rubbing long, slow strokes up and down your spine. 
“It’s not your fault, either, dovey,” he says. “I understand that it makes going to sleep scarier when you think that’s what’s waiting for you, but you’re getting yourself all wound up thinking about it. That can’t help, hm?” 
“No,” you admit. “I can’t help thinking about it, though. I
I hate
” You sound like you’re speaking through a blockage. Sirius’ own throat tightens compassionately. “I hate that there’s nothing I can do.” 
Remus sighs, turning his chin down to kiss your head as he continues rubbing your back. Sirius can guess what he’s thinking. They put a lot of work into getting you ready for sleep tonight. God knows you need it, after waking in a panic the last three nights in a row and refusing to go back to sleep. To try and avoid that, your boyfriends made you herbal tea, watched a sitcom instead of the crime show you’ve all been on lately, distracted you with light talk and tender touches. Now, though it’s certainly not your fault, all their efforts are being undone. 
“I have an idea,” Sirius says. “Come here, baby. Give me a hug.” 
James laughs, squeezing Siriusïżœïżœïżœ middle as you turn over curiously. “That’s your plan? You just want to steal her from Rem.” 
“I can have a plan and want her for myself,” Sirius teases. He shoots Remus a wink, to which his boyfriend rolls his eyes (he loves Sirius, really). “Go on, sweetness. Wrap me up tight.” 
He hugs you back as you press closer to him, feeling the rabbitty fast beat of your heart. His thumb strokes over it thoughtlessly, protective. Sirius thinks these lucid dreams you’ve been having get you more wound up than any regular nightmare, and he can understand why; the thought of you running around in your own mind, terrified and knowing you could make it all stop if only you could figure out how is scary for him, too. He wouldn’t want to go to sleep, either. 
“We’re gonna stay like this,” he murmurs to you. His hand comes to rest on your mid-back, fingertips just between your shoulder blades. Not rubbing, not patting. Just holding you there. “And if you start having one of those dreams, you squeeze the shit out of me. I’ll wake up, okay? I will.” 
“What if I can’t move?” you worry. 
“I’ll feel your heart.” He presses down slightly with his palm, feeling the too-quick bump through your skin. “If I wake up and your heart’s going fast, I’ll wake you up then, too. Promise.” 
It starts to slow. “You think you’ll notice?” 
“You think I’m gonna be able to go into a deep sleep when one of my loves might need me?” he counters. James chuckles, kissing the back of his head. “I’ll be up, baby. And I’ll notice. Okay?” 
“Okay.” You tuck your head in under his chin. Sirius covers it with his free hand, stroking the hair at your temple. He hopes you can hear his own heartbeat. Hopes it calms you enough for an easy night. “Thanks. Sorry for making things hard.” 
“You don’t make things hard,” Remus chides. 
“Yeah,” James says lightly. “What about this is hard? Sirius got what he wanted, I doubt he’s unhappy.” 
You make a soft sound of amusement against his chest. Sirius smiles. “Definitely not,” he agrees, holding you closer. “How about you worry less about being a nuisance and more about going to sleep. Hm?”
691 notes · View notes
floweringlee · 2 months ago
Text
Sweetest Win
Pairing: Max Verstappen x Baker YouTuber! Reader
Summary: You’re a baker youtuber who does vlogs on the side your friend convinces you to come to the paddock
Warnings: not proof read
Notes: First smau!! Hope you guys enjoy! Requests are open and comment or reblog if you liked it :D
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Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Yourfriend, Rosannapansino, and 15,728 more
Yourusername last cooking video before we go on vlog break! I’m so glad to say we’ll be on some new adventures this year! 🏁
yourfriend this is going to be so fun💕
user72 the checkered flag???
throughgoeshamilton are you guys thinking what I’m thinking?
f1fan my worlds are colliding
candyman mother is mothering
user12 oh to be fed by y/n
user199 why’s this so real?
Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Yourfriend, Maxverstappen1, and 45,383 others
Yourusername Made it to the paddock? I brought some snacks for the drivers (not quite sure if they can eat them though)
user26 SHES IN BELGIUM SHES IN BELGIUM
yourfriend The muffins were great!
yourusername you ate like half of them😕
yourfriend they were, good what can I say?
user83 Arianna what are you doing here? (max)
user44 ohhhh he lurkin
user12 I smell love
user44 go back to bed grandma
user27 I want those muffins so badđŸ€€
Danielricciardo Can you make me more muffins?
yourusername of course Danny✹
Danielricciardo yay! 😊
Maxverstappen1 posted to their story!
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Text messages!
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Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Maxverstappen1, Danielricciardo, Yourfriend and 45,383 others Yourusername Last night in Belgium đŸ„‚
user83 IS THAT MAX VERSTAPPEN I SEE!?!?!
user 12 nurse shes out again
user83 CAN YOU LET ME DREAM?
Danielricciardo I need an arm like that
user65 he’s so messy😭
user82 it’s the instigation for me
yourfriend didnt even take me along how rude
landonoriss ill take you
yourfriend 👀
user1 WHAT.
user03 SO WE'RE JUST GOING TO IGNORE THIS???
f1fan max still lurking in those likes i see
user76 ikr
Maxverstappen1 posted!
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Maxverstappen1 It's good to be back in my hometown
user83 I CANT be the only one seeing it
user11 please go take your pills
danielricciardo the sneak in second picture
user44 WHAT IM SAYIN
user67 not Daniel throwing Max under the bus 😭😭😭
user8 welcome back max!!
user93 he looks so fine in that first pic
Danielricciardo hey I know that hand!
user74 DANNY PLEASE💀💀💀
user37 IM ACTUALLY CRYING
Yourusername posted on their story!
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Twitter!
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user83 i could almost be surprised
happytail it looks like hes bagged a baddie i fear
mollytwin that shouldve been me
parkedcar well theres always charles
user02 who even is she bruh
maxineupd probably that y/n girl
Yourusername posted!
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Liked by Maxverstappen1, Yourfriend, Danielricciardo, and 56,248 others
Yourusername It's nice to have someone else to the baking for once <3
user78 the soft launching from these two
user43 pov half the grid is in the likes
maxverstappen1 baking isn't as easy as you make it look
yourusername well i could have told you that
maxverstappen1 teach me again sometime?
yourusername of course <3
user83 MY PARENTS
user12 not her making him do things for her
user67 please go touch some grass
Maxverstappen1 posted!
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Maxverstappen1 Sweetest home race win thanks to my lucky charm
yourusername congrats lieverd, im so proud of you ❀❀
maxverstappen1 couldnt have done it without you knapperd
user02 them calling each other dutch endearments is my new roman empire
Danielricciardo congrats love birds đŸ„ł
user83 AND THEY ALL SAID I WAS CRAZY
user12 and you still are (just happen to be correct)
yourfriend you better treat her right Verstappen
maxverstappen1 đŸ«Ą
Yourusername posted!
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Yourusername i guess things are sweeter with you
maxverstappen1 nothing can be as sweet as you liefde
yourusername đŸ„°
landonorris @.yourfriend are you going to make me sweets too?
yourfriend keep dreaming Norris 🙄
user01 are we seriously just going to keep glazing over this??
user33 to be her right now
user56 oh to be her right now
Danielricciardo I’m invited to the double dates right?
yourusername of course Danny, can’t forget our wingman
user93 the way he’d been hinting since the beginning
456 notes · View notes
roosterforme · 5 months ago
Text
Mr. Right Now Part 8 | Hangman x Reader
Summary: The hours with Jake are ticking down, and you agree with every suggestion he makes so you can justify staying a little longer. When you ask for something that goes against one of his lessons from the weekend, you can tell how badly he wants to be the exception to the rule.
Warnings: angst, fluff, smut, adult language, p in v intercourse, 18+
Length: 3500 words
Pairing: Jake "Hangman" Seresin x Female Reader
Why is Jake on my masterlist!? Mr. Right Now masterlist
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Jake could feel your warm hand low on his abs as your lips skimmed along his neck and his stubbled cheek. Soft skin was all he knew as his fingers trailed down the length of your side. Eyes still closed, he treated himself to a handful of your hip and rear end, giving a little squeeze as he whispered, "Darlin'."
"Jake," you sighed next to his ear, and he finally opened his eyes. For once, being awake was just as good as dreaming. "How'd you know it was me?"
He took your chin in his hand where you were laying halfway on top of him, and he stroked your lips with his thumb as he asked, "Who else would have spent the night with me?" Your subtle little shrug and sweet face made his heart clench. Besides the fact that he generally never let anyone share his bed for more than an hour or two, he already knew the way your body felt in his hands. Every soft curve. Every dip. Every bit of your silky skin. He knew it, and he couldn't get enough of it.
"I don't know," you replied softly before he kissed you.
He wanted to tell you that you were the only one who had worked her way into his heart since he'd been living in San Diego. He wanted to tell you to just leave your fake ID here, because you wouldn't be needing it any longer. If there was something you wanted from a man, he would happily give it to you from now on. You could come back next weekend and do all of this over again with him. 
"Just you," he promised, breaking the kiss as your fingernails gently scraped along his skin and through his trimmed pubic hair. "Jesus," he groaned as you cupped his balls beneath the bedding. You made him cum so many times yesterday, he was almost surprised to find you were getting him hard again now as the early morning sunlight filtered in through the window.
Your expression was almost smug as you leaned in close enough so your lips barely grazed his. He could only hear his beating heart, the ocean in the distance and your soft voice saying, "Tell me what you want."
You had your hand gripping his cock tight as he rolled you onto your back. He thrust into your palm as he grunted, "Did you forget your lessons? That's not how this works."
As soon as he ran two fingers gently through your pussy, your hold on him loosened, and he slid down your body until his mouth was on your belly. You tried to keep your legs closed as you whispered, "But we fucked last night before bed. What if I... taste weird? Like a condom?"
Jake let his cheek rest on your hip as he looked up at your face. "Will you let me be the judge of things down here?"
You giggled as he traced your belly button with his thumb. "I guess. It is kind of your specialty." Slowly you spread your legs for him, and he continued on to where he wanted to be. He knew you loved this, and he was good at it. And you still tasted fucking sweet.
He settled in with his hands on the backs of your thighs, spreading you open with his thumbs. He hummed, kissing your clit as you gasped and squirmed. "No issues here, Darlin'," he promised. "Should I keep going?"
"Yes," you whined, letting your heels dig into his back while you tugged on his hair. 
"Thought so," he whispered with a smug grin. But there was no rush. You could pull his hair and bruise his back to your heart's content, but he was going to make this last for you. It was Sunday, and he'd be driving you back to your dorm later. He didn't know when he'd get this opportunity again. If at all.
"Jake," you moaned, hips rolling gently against his mouth as he sucked on you. "You're so good."
Every time you told him he was doing a good job, he just wanted to keep going. If he could make you come and keep you asking for more in bed, maybe he could ask you for more out of it.
He lapped at your pussy, wanting to taste you everywhere as you started to squeeze your thighs around him. Your body and your tells were already familiar to him. "Not yet," he crooned, licking a long stripe from your opening to your clit. "Be patient."
"Feels too good," you whispered, voice ragged with desire. You couldn't stop squirming, and Jake couldn't stop smiling. With each roll of your hips, he ground his cock down against the bed, and when you came on his tongue, he needed to get off.
"Fuck me," you commanded, eyes wild as Jake rubbed your pretty pussy with his fingers, making sure your orgasm was drawn out long and loud.
He licked the taste of you from his lips and grunted, "Yeah? You want me to?"
"Fuck me, Jake!"
He was on his feet in a flash, nearly tripping on the bathroom tile to get to the box of condoms. It was the last one, and he was already tearing open the wrapper and rolling it on as he made his way back to you. Your pussy was wet, glistening in the sunlight as you lay there shamelessly. Needy. Bedding a mess. He was a mess.
As he took your hand, he leaned in close and kissed you, letting you taste yourself. "How about we try a new position?" he asked, and your eyes grew wider as you nodded. He heaped up the pillows against his headboard, sat against them and rubbed his thigh. "Take me for a ride, Darlin'."
Your lips were hovering over his as you whispered, "I'm not sure if I'm going to like it this way." Then your hand met his cock, practically sending Jake over the edge as you straddled him. He was pressed to your entrance, and then you were sinking down around him as you moaned. It was long and sweet sounding, and it turned into the sentence, "Never mind. I think I'm going to love this."
He was going to as well. His hands ended up on your tits as you arched your back, taking him to the hilt. "Lesson number ten," he grunted, and you met his eyes as you wiggled on his cock. "Experimenting with positions and techniques is usually always a good idea."
You nodded as you bounced up and down on him like you'd done this a thousand times. "It never hurts to try. Got it," you said with a grin as you bit your lip.
Jake stroked your nipple and said, "As long as you're with someone you trust."
"Right," you whispered as his hands slid down to your hips to guide your movements. "Oh, god!"
--------------------------------
Jake knew what your body wanted and needed even before you did. Straddling him on his bed with your back arched meant his cock was hitting places inside you that you didn't even know existed. And now his big hands were helping you along as he stroked that perfect spot that left you breathless with your heart pounding. He eased you up and then guided you back down as you met his green eyes.
You trusted him. You knew he'd get you off, and you knew he wouldn't hurt you. One big hand ended up on your belly as he thrust up to meet you, and that little grin that you liked was back on his lips. "Jake," you gasped, grinding down on him until he was nodding. "Does this feel as good for you as it does for me?"
"Better," he answered immediately. "God, I can guarantee it's better. You're so tight, Darlin'. It's a fucking miracle I didn't cum yet."
He kept trying to say it wasn't about the guy, but it was. It was about him, too. You liked watching him come apart for you. Flushed cheeks and wide pupils and deep, guttural grunts. Everytime he fell apart, your heart soared.
"Shit. Shit," he panted, head tipped back, veins in his neck straining. "Damn it, I'm close."
You leaned in and kissed his ear, letting him guide your hips in the exact tempo he wanted, and you were surprised by how much he slowed you down. "Good," you whispered as your fingers threaded through his soft hair. "I want you to feel good."
His name was on your lips as your clit rubbed his rough pubic hair, and you gave him an involuntary little squeeze, surprising yourself by how close you were now.
"Oh, fuck," he grunted. "You're close, too."
Once again, he could tell exactly what was going on, and he rubbed himself against you. He wasn't going to let himself finish with you on the cusp, and you wanted to thank him, but you couldn't speak. Your head tipped back as you held onto him, and after a few more beats, your pleasure crashed against you like a wave. You were moaning his name and fucking him, and in your mind, you looked even better than a pornstar.
"God damn it," he growled, palming your breasts and making you feel so good as he came, too. His mouth was open, and his cock was twitching inside you as he held you in place. "God damn it." 
You did this to him. 
His lips crashed against yours, hands all over your body. "Did that feel good?" you asked between kisses.
"You always feel good," he replied, rolling you carefully onto your back. "Always." His body was above yours, expression open as he said, "Tell me what we're doing next. Breakfast? Another bath? Or you want me to drive you home?"
You smiled, not quite ready to leave yet. "First a bath. You can have a breakfast beer."
Jake chuckled and kissed your neck. "That does sound good. Go get the water ready." When he helped you climb out of bed, he gave you a playful swat on your rear end before vanishing out into the hallway as he removed the condom. You found the empty box and a few wrappers on the bathroom floor, tossing them into the trash as the tub filled with steamy water. You had successfully finished off the condoms, and now there were none on the shelf as you grabbed two washcloths. 
You were smiling and brushing your teeth as Jake strolled in with a bottle of Sam Adams and a wine glass of ice water. Your heart skipped a beat as he set them both down on the edge of the tub before turning off the water and brushing his teeth. You dipped down into the water as he watched you in the mirror.
"Remember, we stay in until it's cold," he told you after he spit out his toothpaste.
"Weirdo," you muttered, and a second later, he was climbing in, splashing water onto the floor as you squealed with laughter. 
---------------------------
"What's for breakfast today?" you asked, arms around Jake's neck.
He took a sip of his beer and rubbed your thigh beneath the water. "I don't know... if I make eggs again, you'll just complain about how I eat mine sunny side up. Tell me it's wrong just like my pizzas."
"Everything you like to eat is a red flag."
Jake smirked and licked his lips before kissing you softly. "I like to eat your pussy."
You started laughing, and you buried your face against his neck. "That's a green flag."
"Thought so."
He took another long sip of beer, swallowing just as you kissed him again. "You taste good," you whispered after licking his lips.
"You're too young to have beer." His statement was a reminder of how he was in a different place in life than you were, but he chose to ignore the repercussions of what that could mean in a few hours.
"I've had it before. It tastes better on a kiss than from a keg."
It was a statement like that that made him take another sip before setting the bottle down. You were authentic and engaging, and he'd been entranced by you since he picked your fake ID up off the floor. He cupped your face in his hands, wishing the water would never get cold.
Your eyes fluttered closed, and your lips parted in a soft smile as he leaned in to kiss you. Every way you responded to him was exciting. Right now your fingers were wet and running up his neck and into his hair as you gave him the sweetest kisses. 
You were too good for anyone else. You were too good for him, but at least he could admit it. And now he was reminded of why it was a bad idea to bring you here in the first place. He should have never talked himself into believing he should have you. He was an idiot for thinking it would be easy to give you up.
"What if we make pancakes?" you asked, reaching for your ice water after you broke the kiss.
Jake just nodded, keeping his hands on your body and letting you wash his hair. The first time you shivered in the cooling water, he tried to get you to stay put, but the second time, you started to drain the tub. "Let's go eat," you told him easily, and he helped you out of the tub and into a fluffy towel.
"Pick out something to wear," he whispered before kissing your ear. "I'll meet you in the kitchen."
Jake pulled on some clean underwear, vanishing down the hallway, hoping for a few seconds without you to clear his mind, but it didn't work. Little reminders of you were all over the place. Your mini skirt was on the couch. Pizza box on the dining room table. Empty wine glasses in his sink.
"Fuck," he muttered, turning on the coffee maker as he ran his fingers through his damp hair. "You fucked up."
"What did you fuck up?" you asked, and when he spun around, you were standing there in his TOP GUN tee shirt, biting your lip. 
He cleared his throat. "I forgot to turn the coffee pot on before we got in the bath," he replied lamely.
You just shrugged before bending to get eggs and butter from the refrigerator, and Jake was treated to the perfect view of your ass and pussy as he tried to figure out how to get two mugs down from the cabinet without dropping them. Alarm bells were going off in his head as his heart and body responded to you the same way they had been for two days. He knew he wasn't going to survive this weekend, and now he was paying for it as he just kept getting himself in deeper.
----------------------------
It was almost noon by the time your belly was full of pancakes, and even though Jake's kitchen was a mess, he coaxed you over to the couch when you tried to clean up. He put a movie on as you stretched out, but neither of you were paying attention to it. He tasted like coffee and maple syrup, and all you wanted to do was keep kissing him.
When he pulled away, you pulled him back as he laughed. "What?" you whispered. "You taste good."
His hand was drifting up under the shirt you were wearing as he leaned on his elbow on the cushion next to your head. "You're so soft," he murmured, and you leaned in to kiss him again. "And sweet."
You made out with him, fingers in his hair as he traced shapes along your side. He was handsome and funny, and you smiled against his lips when he called you a smartass. This weekend had been so much more than you anticipated, and you didn't want to return to your dorm and your roommate and your classes. You wanted to belong here. But he was older than you. He had tag chasers and a bar tab at the Hard Deck. He had a decade-long career in the Navy.
Jake's arm wrapped around you in that way you were used to, and he curled up behind you on the couch as another movie automatically started on his TV. You couldn't believe you'd been kissing him for that long, but now you were yawning as he settled in against your back. When you shivered, he pulled the throw blanket down over both of you, and you closed your eyes.
"You wore me out," you sighed. "Your stamina is commendable, Jake."
His lips brushed the shell of your ear as his thumb ran along your belly button. "Let's take a nap, Darlin'." But you were already drifting off as he said, "Wearing you out is a pleasure."
You weren't sure how long you dozed, but his soft breathing made you feel safe, even when you woke again. It was intimate. None of this was anything you were used to, but it seemed like things you would do with your boyfriend, if you had one. 
An image of Cooper flashed into your mind. Two short days ago, he was all you could think about. Your only concern had been whether or not you would be good enough for him. But maybe that wasn't the key here after all.
Jake's fingers flexed on your belly. "Let me kiss you," he mumbled, and you carefully turned so you were facing him like before. This man could have anything he wanted. He never made you feel like you had to perform a certain way for him to want to kiss or touch you. He never made you feel inadequate or stupid. You wished he would tell you what he wanted. You hoped it was more of you.
"Oh," you whispered as your hand eased down along his body to his semi hard length. You cupped him through his underwear and marveled over the shade of pink rising in his cheeks. His lips were parted, and he made an indecent sound when you gave him a little squeeze. You could not believe he was ready to go again.
"Don't look so surprised," he rasped, green eyes half lidded. "You're kissing me and touching me. Of course I'm going to get hard. Lesson eleven: you could turn any man on. Don't second guess your appeal."
You kept your eyes on his face as you slowly tucked your hand inside his underwear. He was thick and velvety soft, and your mouth was watering as your touch made him impossibly harder. He gasped softly and started to nip at your lips, letting you know you were in control again as his fingers stayed soft on your hip. And you could feel yourself getting wet from that simple touch and the way he was looking at you.
"Will you fuck me again?" you asked, letting your lips brush his. You knew you had to leave soon, and you were starting to think that this constant ache for him would never go away. But instead of doing the smart thing here, you wrapped your leg around his hip when he gave you a filthy kiss.
You pulled his underwear down a little bit, and Jake was rubbing himself against your wet pussy. "I would love to be intimate with you again," he replied, and all of those words in that order made you shiver in anticipation as the blanket ended up on the floor. "But we used up all the condoms from my bathroom. Let's get one from your purse."
He sat up on the couch with you on his lap, his cock tapping your opening in excitement, driving you absolutely wild. 
"I want to feel you without a condom."
Jake hissed as he took a deep breath. "Oh fuck." His head tipped back as he swallowed hard, grinding out his words through gritted teeth. "Darlin', you should always use a condom. Hell, I always use one. Don't let guys cut corners, remember?"
You kissed his Adam's apple and said, "You're not other guys. I trust you."
He met your eyes as you squirmed a bit on his lap, so aroused you couldn't sit still. His tip was resting against your clit as he panted and cupped your face with both hands. "God damn it," he grunted. "Listen. I'm not some asshole college student. I get tested regularly, okay?"  When you nodded fervently, he added, "Nobody else. You understand? Nobody else gets to have you without one."
His big hand slid down to your neck as you whimpered, "Just you." Then he was hauling you off to his bedroom.
-------------------------------
Oh boy. Oh boy. Possessive Jake, hear our prayers before it's too late. Thanks @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 9
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