#GODDAMN IT THERE ARE A LOT OF “PEOPLE” IN MY HEAD!!!

[evilfloralfoolery]

And here is Indigo's character profile! Again, under the cut because I fucking RAMBLE . . .

Name: Indigo Stargazer Solaris

Age: It's complicated

Star Sign: Virgo

Birthday: September 1

Partner: Grimm Amadis

Family: Astralis Solaris (father) and Aurora Stargazer (mother)

Appearance: 6' 1" (185-ish cm), slender but athletic build, pale skin, blue eyes, delicate, almost elven features. Long, wavy silver hair that reaches about mid-back. Sometimes wears glasses due to an old injury. Usually impeccably dressed, even when at leisure.

Weapon of choice: Daggers, an icy demeanor, traditional bow, and the occasional whip (you heard me lol).

Other Weapons: Able to summon "cold fire" at will. His fire is blue because it's actually freezing. Also skilled in hand-to-hand combat and various forms of martial arts.

Likes: Classical musical (especially Beethoven), the color blue, tea (especially green tea), solitude, playing the piano, the ocean, astronomy, cold weather, Thai food (especially if it's SUPER hot), blueberry scones, city life, well-written literature, proper etiquette, dressing well, diplomacy, Grimm's ass.

Dislikes: Uneducated opinions, improper grammar, crowds, bad manners, extreme extroversion, disorganization, dishonorable intentions, processed food, music that has no actual structure, sneakers or sandals.

Allergic to: Oleander, tree pollen (especially oak and pine), ragweed, fresh cut grass.

Sensitive to: Strong manmade scents, incense, cooking with too much spice, ginger.

Other Snzfucker Info: Indigo has extremely bad allergies at certain times of the year. It can vary from day to day with him. He's rarely ill, but when he is? He's down for the count for days. He usually runs himself into the ground until his body just says "Okay, fuck you, then." And it's too late. Indigo has a violent, sharp, throat-scraping sneeze sound. He has very little to no buildup and can be startling, if you're not prepared. He is a multiple sneezer with no set number or pattern. It can range from 3 to 7 on average. I wouldn't call him "rapid fire," but he does tend to do "back-to-back"' sneezes in a fittish quality. He couldn't stifle if his life depended on it.

History: Indigo grew up as the only child to High Fire Master Astralis Solaris and High Ice Master and healer Aurora Stargazer. Astralis was extremely strict with his son, emphasizing discipline, control, and emotional regulation above all else. Typically, the son inherits the abilities of the father, but Indigo has both his father's fire wielding ability and his mother's ice wielding one. The result is a type of "cold fire" that is basically unheard of. Indigo's fire burns, but it's a freezing burn, a bit like liquid nitrogen. Because of this, Indigo's abilities were "unstable" to a degree. Strong emotions could cause him to lose control and his father did his best to make sure that Indigo was in control at all times. Luckily, Indigo also inherited his mother's healing ability to some degree, so this has assisted him in keeping himself level. His mother would have preferred her son to be a sensitive healer rather than the demon hunter that he became, but Indigo needed an outlet for his abilities or it could have caused great distress for him in the future.

Indigo's people are not entirely human. They came from somewhere else, possibly another dimension or world. They age much, much slower than humans do, so Indigo will appear as he is now for several centuries. His people came to this world to rid it of demonic forces that have been infiltrating other worlds for centuries.

Indigo has a "human job" as a book editor as a sort of "cover" for himself. Because of his extreme abilities and his high level of efficiency for destroying demonic forces, he's quite the target.

Fun Facts: Indigo's name comes from his high level of intuitive ability that he inherited from his mother. It's the color of the "third eye." She "saw" who he was going to be before he was born.

-Indigo almost lost his vision during a fight with a powerful demonic force. His mother was able to heal him, but now and then, his vision blurs and he has special glasses to correct it. There is no reason for this. It just randomly happens.

-Indigo's family (and all of his people) are actually considered "royalty" and are quite well off.

-Indigo's abilities are so extreme, he needs a counterbalance to keep him stable. Typically, his people would choose this person, but after several failed attempts to have him bond with someone, they sort of gave up. Grimm, an actual human, was never part of the plan, but HERE WE ARE.

[wonder-worker]

"[Elizabeth Woodville] was the only member of [Crown Prince Edward of Westminster's] original 1471 council not already on the king’s council and her name headed the list of those appointed as administrators in Wales during Edward’s minority. [She remained on the council after it was expanded in 1473 and granted additional governing and judicial powers]."

"In 1478 Prince Richard married the Mowbray heiress. Like his elder brother he had a chancellor, seal, household and council to manage his estates. His council, like that of Prince Edward, comprised the queen [Elizabeth Woodville] and a group of magnates and bishops, few of whom were Woodville supporters. [...] It was Elizabeth who mattered, for Richard resided with her and Rivers treated his affairs as their own."

— J.L. Laynesmith, The Last Medieval Queens: English Queenship 1445-1503 / Michael Hicks, Richard III and his Rivals: Magnates and their Motives in the Wars of the Roses

[monstermoviedean]

i've been dreading this friday afternoon budget meeting all week and telling myself "you just have to get through this and then you're in the clear." and it was predictably miserable until 4 minutes before the end when someone pointed out that we only had 4 minutes left and we hadn't even talked about the thing we needed to talk about. and then we had to schedule another meeting 😭😭😭😭

[mypronounsarentmyproblem]

right now nothing makes me angrier than someone saying they dont have the energy to think about palestine and the genocide in their life. oh youre tired? busy? not donating is one thing but just ignoring a goddamn genocide because it makes you feel sad :( it makes me so goddamn furious

[daforged]

i have an extremely vivid memory of reading a post you made probably a while ago about how you hate the way people talk about & mistreat chihuahuas. i think it stuck with me bc im not a dog person and never thought about the way they get treated much. but anyway everytime i see a picture of baked potato i smile firstly because he's a beautiful gorgeous boy and secondly because i know he's being treated right!! like any dog deserves!! awesome dog

🥺🥺🥺 do u mean that fr. cryign. thank u so much for this

[abluescarfonwaston]

Found the seemingly only doctor in my city (second largest in my fairly pro trans state) who does trans healthcare. She is not available for 4 months because military. The closest planned parenthood that does HRT is over an hour away, like all the other doctors. I have met other trans people here. Where the hell are they getting their boy/girl juice.

[my-chemical-rot]

Full offense but if you ever refer to me by my sex assigned at birth in any capacity, that is misgendering and I will murder you to death with hammers

[maxbegone]

—

[maskyartist]

we always give Ryuji the palace n while thats always a hit, why dont we ever give one to Ryuji's mom??? gimme Ryuji havin to fight with his love for his mom, his need to keep her safe, and his duty as a son and phantom thief to see this through to the end and make her better but hurt in the process

like...mmm the character development....

[neroushalvaus]

I'm having such an intense Feeling about thomas barrow during the war and how he feels about german soldiers and how considering he was posted in flanders it's possible they participated in the 1914 christmas truce in like a hardcore "football in no man's land" kinda way and how since thomas was a medic he could have interacted with the german soldiers more than your average guy and

and "thank you for my deliverance" You Know How It Is

[dead-set-goat]

Geez, someone in my dream said something so funny and with such a good delivery that I woke up laughing that instant.

I swear never in a billion years could have produced such a funny phrase and nor have I heard it so now I’m wondering where the hell did that come from?? I’m not the one to overanalyse dreams but this one makes me really wonder… are our dreams are intertwined? No way in hell that could’ve been a fabrication of my own, nu-uh, I must’ve crossed paths with that person in a hypothetical dream plane andI just joined their’s!!

[lovecatsys]

can my moms fiancé stop with the saneism against pwPDs istfg.

[noxtivagus]

gna play to the moon later today 🤍

[sorryiwasasleep]

And now I’m a lonely adult who doesn’t know how to make friends and it’s always a “you’ll find your people!” if I express those feelings, which is disregarding the fact that any time in the past that I’ve shown a part of myself to try to find “my people” it’s only pushed them away and isolated me further creating that sheen layer of separation, either because I’d revealed too much of myself and they rejected me or because I knew to stay “accepted” I had to suppress those parts of me that they’d scorn.

So then I shove those vulnerable parts of me that I actually enjoy even deeper down and I’m even more afraid to show them, so in turn it becomes harder and harder to find “my” people because I’m too afraid of rejection to reveal myself in the first place.

And now the exclusion has become semi self imposed at this point because I don’t know how to do anything else, I don’t know how to breach that divide, so I just sit alone all the time stuck in my brain and continuing to imagine my life with friends that don’t exist :/

People underestimate how much it fucks you up to be subtly excluded as a kid. I would try to talk to my classmates and be met with disinterest or annoyance. The one friend I had, who I clung to and nodded along to his every word, had other friends he liked just as much or more. And his other friends didn’t care for me at all.

I look back at pictures from the time and see how separated I was from them. I remember knowing I was different. I remember posing questions about the world to the girls playing next to me and realizing that they had never asked the same ones to themselves. That the ways we thought couldn’t be more different.

I kept myself amused with my own fanatical stories and musings in my head. I would wander the playground on a circular path, imagining a friend and being sorely disappointed when it didn’t feel as real as I’d hoped.

There was a bubble separating me from everyone else, thin, and nearly invisible, but with a pearly sheen you could catch under the right conditions. I knew it was there, they knew it was there, and it changed me

[inbabylontheywept]

i did wrestling in middle school. on one hand, i was actually quite good at it, which was nice. being good at any sport was a new achievement for me. on the other hand, i was bi, and i was trying very hard not to notice that i was bi, and getting folded into knots by very kind, very muscular dorks made that task somewhat difficult.

adding fire to the problem was that my parents and my grandparents wanted to watch my matches, because they were very proud that their Gangly Nerd Son was actually Sporting, and they wanted to cheer me on. which would've been sweet and all, but if there are four people you do not want there during a key part of your Burgeoning Sexual Awakening, it is your mom and your dad and your grandma and your grandpa.

right? i mean, imagine some guy's got your head in his armpit, and you're going you know, old sweat smells bad, but fresh sweat has a sort of and then you make eye contact with your grandpa in the stands and you remember you're swearing spandex so if you pop a boner people aren't just going to be able to see the outline, they're going to be able to count the veins, and the only way you will be able to restore your family's honor after that would be by moving to siberia and renouncing joy, forever. that, or lift your entire body up by your kneck then twist 180 degrees without paralyzing yourself.

it’s a lot of pressure, is what i’m saying.

still it did motivate me to win my matches really fast. because i was so tall and skinny, i was stupidly good at the double leg takedown, and then once someone was knocked down, i'd just do the half nelson and kind of flip em over for the pin. then the ref would count to three and i’d win. EZPZ.

i had one match where that went great. won in the first ten seconds, sat back down, and prepared myself for a good hour or two of doing fuck all. didn't even feel bad the parents/grandparents were gonna be bored. the matches went up from me in 5 pound increments (i was in the 115 lbs division) and it was going great until we got to the 145 lbs division. the other school's wrestler stepped onto the mat, and she turned out to be a girl so our guy flipped, because for straight guys, wrestling a girl is not a pleasant experience.

i'm not entirely unsympathetic. my experience wrestling dudes was definitely a little traumatic. but also, i dealt. guy could've dealt too. instead, he refused to wrestle, and the coach went - fine. not even worth fighting over.

so he went to the 140 pounder, and that guy said, nosir, my mom said mormons can't wrestle girls. next guy down, 135 pounder, now he knew he could pull the same card and thus did. 130 pounder, 125, both tapped out. he got to the 120 guy, and that guy was catholic, but he said he was considering being mormon, and thus would have to pass. as a precaution.

coach blew up a little at that. he said "is there anyone - anyone - on this entire goddamn team that is willing to wrestle a girl?" and then he pointed at me and said "YOU. MAT. GO."

and i'll be real, if i'd been paying more attention, i'd have pulled the mormon card too, but i'd just been putting all that audio into a buffer file because i was reading, so i was halfway across the mat before i even processed what had been said and by then it was too late to turn back.

still i had a plan. and my plan - my beautiful, perfect plan - was to do what i'd always done. tackle, flip, pin, win. sit down. read. bore my family to death. move on.

i got the first part right. she was bigger than me, but she wasn't taller. just an incredibly stout woman. god built me like a snake with glasses, just as he built her like a combat cube. the problem was the half nelson. soon as she was down, i tried hooking my arm under hers from behind and for both genders, the defense for this move is just clamping your arms really fucking tight against your sides. if you're a guy, that's whatever, but if you're a girl - especially if you're god's chosen combat cube - that pins your opponents hand right against your boob.

so, i got the hook in, she clamped, my whole arm pressed against something soft, my coach was yelling THE HALF NELSON. BABYLON! JUST FINISH IT! FINISH THE HALF NELSON! and i was just trying to press hard enough to finish, when then my brain went

...oh.

and i flipped out. of course i flipped out. i like girls, and touching a boob is an elemental experience, and i was not ready. i was not prepared. i had not committed the sacred rites. i recoiled like i'd just brushed my arm against the surface of the sun, stood up, and backed away. nobody in the room knew why i'd given up. all they saw was me, right about to win, suddenly flailing around and scrambling. so everyone started screaming at me to just get the half nelson again, and i couldn't really yell back there's a fuckin' boob in the way and it was very distressing, and the only way i could think of to make them stop was just doing it over again the right way.

so i did.

i hunkered down and prepared myself for Wrasslin' Attempt #2: The Sequel.

i knocked her down again, EZPZ. i went for the half nelson again, but she knew what i was about to do so she super clamped, and i knew she was gonna super clamp, so i wound my arm back like a pop-eye cartoon punch before swinging my arm through the gap between her bicep and her side, but the amount of time i spent winding back super signalled what i was about to to do, which gave her time to clamp even harder, which somehow redirected the entire force of the popeye punch to the bottom of her bra.

it spat out a single boob the same way an action hero might spit out one single tooth after getting a solid crack across the jaw. as if to say:

*ptooie.* "that all you got?"

i did not actually see this. my experience was that first there was an arm, then there was a bit of boob, but i was braced, i was ready, forward at all costs, tatakae motherfuckers, and then the boob went away, and i didn't know where it went but my team, and the audience, and everyone who was in front of me, they all gasped like i just kicked them in the stomach. except for my coach. he was behind me, and thus one of the four people in the room who did not see the boob. now my mom, my dad, my grandma, and my grandpa, they all got flashed but nooooooo, coach thunderbutt was behind me, and he didn't see shit so he was still yelling NOOOOOO BABYLON WHAT ARE YOU DOING JUST FINISH THE NELSON! GO FOR THE KILL! BABYLON! BABYLON!

but i did not go for the kill. i stood up and she stuffed her boob back real fast, and we just kind of circled each other awkwardly until time ran out and i won on points. that's not technically allowed, but the ref had some mercy on me.

my coach did not.

i barely had time to sit down before he strode over to the bench to chew me out.

"babylon," he said, in that very calm way people get when they're too pissed to yell. "why didn't you pin?"

and i didn't know how to say well coach, i tried, but there was a boob, and it kept getting in the way, and my mom was watching, and so was my dad, and so was his dad, and his mom, and god (like bible god) and that's a can of worms because i'm pretty sure he was already mad at me, and i'm wearing spandex, and i think i might have to move to siberia, so instead i said

"i uh. i forgot how to do the half nelson."

which is actually impossible. forgetting how to do the half nelson is like forgetting how to swallow your spit.

and he looked at me, like i was the dumbest person in the entire world, and i looked through him like i'd just survived my 250th day in a trench at verdun, and he said: fine.

fine.

but we're all going to practice it for an hour tomorrow because you forgot.

and then he left.

and my buddies had the gall to be salty about it. i got so many comments saying "dude, why didn't you just tell him the truth?" and i said "you can if you care so damn much. you could've wrestled the girl too. maybe someone else should do the hard thing today."

but they didn't. so the next day, we did an hour of half nelson drills, and i spent a decent amount of time getting thrown around the mat, and it was pleasant in exactly the way that i hated and the year after that, to the surprise of everyone but myself, i quit wrestling and joined the trivia team.

and if you want more reasons to love my mom, my grandpa joked after the match that i might have to talk to my bishop about it, and my mom told him he would be allowed to make jokes after he stood in front of a crowd of 110 people in spandex underpants while wrestling a woman that was not his wife.

he paused for almost five seconds after that. then he said: aw. hell. sorry babylon.

and i'd have preferred my apology from god, but getting it from him was pretty good too.

[littlestarlex]

i got super overstimulated today and went to my room to try and calm down, only for 2 different people to follow me to talk to me (after talking to me all day, mind you)

eventually they left and I cried and fell asleep and when i woke up it was quiet and dark in my room and i felt much better