#like. i was worried i was being too mean
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i've been dreading this friday afternoon budget meeting all week and telling myself "you just have to get through this and then you're in the clear." and it was predictably miserable until 4 minutes before the end when someone pointed out that we only had 4 minutes left and we hadn't even talked about the thing we needed to talk about. and then we had to schedule another meeting 😭😭😭😭
#so now i have to wait until thursday to get this shit resolved because these people refuse to send a goddamn email#last time i requested information in writing i got back to back to back stream of consciousness messages riddled with typos and mistakes#and when i responded laying out clear questions and concerns they never responded#they just waited until our next meeting and then dropped some new shit on me#i sent an email on wednesday with a very simple request. no response. until I mentioned the email in the meeting#and then within 10 minutes I had a response#like. i was worried i was being too mean#but this person literally. LITERALLY. wrote 8000000 when they meant 8000. and didn't notice.#i think they feel like i'm picking on them but the errors are not small. i let a lot of small ones go#but I can't let 'confuses thousands for millions' go. and even then all I did was privately tell my boss the correct number#anyway now i get to sit and stress about this for. counts on fingers. five more days#is this a real problem? no. but it's just yet another small thing that is going the wrong way for me#and i feel so buried under the small things#and i'm so tired. and my eye keeps twitching. and my head hurts. and i want to crawl into a small cozy cave and hibernate like a bear
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perhaps the most important question i’ve ever asked:
does anyone have tips for people trying to stop being chronically late to everything in the world that aren’t weirdly judgmental and aggressive or flat out lies
#when i tell you every single resource i’ve ever found or tried to get through or anyone i’ve ever asked#has been just so. mean about it#not even intentionally#not always at least#but there’s so much inherent shame tied to being late to things or being a person who used to be late to things#that i don’t think people can untie that from their ‘helpful tips’#it’s all ‘i used to also be a lazy uncaring piece of shit! you don’t have to be a horrible wretched loser anymore!’ and it’s like. okay.#you see how that’s not helping. right.#making me feel worse about it is NEVER helpful. i promise you i already have tortured myself over it FARRR more than any ‘on time’ person#ever had#this has been a comic i’ve been stewing on for ages as well but. well there’s of course the shame#idk it’s something that people are always despicably mean about bc fundamentally people who have never struggled with it#see it as a personal choice to be late#and as something one needs to just ‘try harder’ to fix. and that if you don’t#you inherently don’t care about other people’s time or even other people in general#and that feels horrible! it feels really bad!!#i mean i’ve got it from EVERYONE. disability allies. other adhd folks. disability resource offices#it’s something that nobody ever cares to acknowledge or try to accommodate for#bc time blindness and exec dysfunction are NEVER taken seriously as disabilities. they’re always always viewed as a personal failing#and i’m sick and tired of it. bc all this does is make people struggling with this Hate themselves#and worry endlessly that maybe they Are selfish and actually Don’t care about anyone else#there’s a bit too much here to keep in the tags i should really do the comic for adhd awareness month
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i am no longer joking. what happens inbetween the end of wigmaker’s job and about a year before veilguard that makes illario decide the brother he loves is worth less than the seat of first talon
#the joke and prod at each other like siblings#i wish we got a little bit more of them acting like this to parallel bellara and cyrian#because if illario could turn that means cyrian could too. what if there is no hope for either of them#i like the idea of the game having that conversation between them. and it would change depending on#who’s companion quest is finished first so . bellara encouraging or lucanis warning the other#and ofc illario is decidedly jealous even in this book but its just . they careeeee. THEY CARRREEEEEE#especially the light touch to ground lucanis as his anger overwhelms him#i would have liked. to see that.#illario dellamorte#lucanis dellamorte#veilguard spoilers#in the caption. text is all from wigmaker’s job#i needed to add another one. how could i forget overt illario worry about lucanis being injured
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More clone^2 snippets
Snippet 12: hands
Lancer: dear god, Mr. Fenton, what happened to your hands!?
Danny, had a run in with Damian’s katana and both of his hands have stitches: um… cooking… accident. I can’t use them that much currently
Lancer, pale: right, yes, of course. You may have one of your friends right you notes until they are properly healed
————
Snippet 13: more hands (and dash is a dick)
Dash: I bet Fenturd’s just faking his hand injury to get out of doing class work. Getting out of classwork is my thing! I’ll show him.
Danny, minding his own business:
Dash, yanks on his fingers harshly: Freak! Did you think you could copy me and het away with it?
Danny, his stitches torn from the way Dash grabbed him: you’re the last person I’d want to copy Dash, let go.
Dash: we all know you’re faking the hand injury, there’s no way you’d— you’d—
(Danny’s hands are bleeding, and starting to smear on Dash’s hands.)
Danny, (fake) calmly: you were saying, Dash?
Dash: I - uh—
Danny: thanks for opening them up, jerk.
—————
Snippet 14: Danny is Bruce’s Clone and Bruce Wayne has been hottest man alive for many consecutive years
The A-Lister Girls are at a sleepover
Star: Never have I ever had a crush on Danny Fenton
All girls (including Star): puts a finger down
A-List Girl: Paulina put your finger down
Paulina, begrudgingly putting a finger down: he shouldn’t count - he’s a loser!
A-List Girl: he’s still the cutest boy in our grade. Put your damn finger down.
—————
Snippet 15: unstoppable force vs immovable object
(In the Clone Danny Au, since Danny is not a ghost Valerie doesn’t see Phantom as the guy who ruined her life, but a very exhausted vigilante trying his best. They’re allies with conflicting ideologies on how to handle ghosts.)
Red Huntress: are you kidding me, Phantom? You dragged a kid in with you to fight ghosts? I thought you were better than that
Wraith, offended: *opening his mouth*
Phantom, tiredly putting a hand over Damian’s mouth: *in ASL + one hand* you don’t think I tried to stop him?
Red Huntress: he’s a child, Phantom, how hard could it be?
Phantom: looks down at Wraith
Wraith: looks up at Phantom with the eyes of a hundred enraged bulls
Phantom, kneeling down to Wraith and pulling his mask up to show his mouth: *whispering inaudibly*
Wraith: *takes off in the opposite direction*
Phantom, standing up to Red: *ASL* well? go get him
————
Snippet 16: identity
(Danny and Damian are sitting on a rooftop, in the middle of a break from patrol. Damian sits between Danny’s legs and Danny is slumped over Damian’s back.)
Damian, playing with Danny’s fingers:
Danny: who are you?
Damian: Damian.
Danny: who are you not?
Damian: Damian Wayne.
Danny: do you have to be?
Damian: no.
Danny: who do you have to be?
Damian: I just have to be me.
Danny: who are you?
Damian: I’m Damian.
Danny: good.
Damian:
Danny:
Damian: who are you?
Danny, smiling: Danny
—————
Snippet 17: long hair
(In the Clone Danny Au, Danny’s hair goes to his shoulders. I was in a GNC mood at the time the au was made and it passed on to Danny.)
Tucker: are you going to cut your hair, Danny? It’s getting long.
Danny, laying against the bed frame with Sam doing his hair: probably to get the dead ends cut off. I like it long.
Sam: I like it long too.
Tucker: you like it long because he lets you do whatever you want to it
Sam: it’s also a stand against the oppressive stereotype that men can’t have long hair and must always have it short in order to appear masculine! Danny’s showing individuality and sticking it to the patriarchy at the same time!
Danny: and because I let you do whatever you want to it.
Sam, making a punk hairdo for danny: yea that too
——————
Snippet 18: Danny is Bruce Wayne’s clone and Bruce——
Danny, getting stuff from his locker: my parents have a new ‘Fenton anti-ghost sticky bomb’ they’re working on and—
Student with a photography camera: Hey, Fenton!
Danny, looking over: what?
Student: *snaps a photo* thanks!
Student walks away
Danny:
Tucker:
Sam:
Danny: so… um…. Is that- is that another Wes? Should I be worried?
Sam: you should be angry! He just took your picture without your consent! That’s a violation of your bodily autonomy.
Danny: we can keep an eye on it, Sam, and if it becomes an issue then I’ll report it to a teacher.
Danny: and as I was saying, I can’t wait to have to make sure that that doesn’t hurt anyone.
Danny: i love having to stay up late sabotaging my parents’ inventions. Yay…
—————
Snippet 19: Danny is Bruce’s clone and—
Wes: ranting about how Phantom = Danny and how there’s proof and he has it and—
Random Student from his photography club: you wanna kiss him so bad it makes you look stupid.
Wes: I do nOT
Student: Its okay Wes, so does literally everyone else.
—————
Snippet 20: Lookalike
Danny: the only good thing about being Bruce Wayne’s clone is that my Brucie Wayne Impression is spot on
Damian: what??
Danny: my Brucie Wayne impression. It shouldn’t be as fun as it is doing it
#dpxdc#dp x dc#dp x dc crossover#dpxdc crossover#dpdc au#dp x dc au#dpdc#dpxdc au#danny fenton is not the ghost king#danny fenton is a clone#danny being bruce’s clone opens up funny shenanigans that I have yet to see be used in another aus#like the fact that Bruce Wayne is Incredibly Attractive and Danny being his clone means he looks like him#and is thus ALSO very attractive to his classmates#danny having a secret club of admirers is insanely funny to me#wes weston: ranting about danny being phantom#his classmate: u have such a crush#wes: yes but NO#danny and damian have a little mantra that they repeat back at each other#to remind themselves that they are their own people#ellie gets in on it too when she’s around no worries#red huntress at wraith: child#wraith: and i took that personally fUCK YOU#damian doesnt know any asl so he currently Cant Say Shit in front of the living#he’s learning english danny will save the asl for later#this also means bby dames gets Smug bc he’s (one of) the only living person danny talks to as phantom#young children are possessive and bby dames being slightly possessive of his older brother#is very funny and very endearing to me#clone^2
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stargazer
a stargazer is a catchall for those who (nomadically/frequently) travel in a non-normative sense, such as reality shifters, time travelers, astral projectors, system travelers, etc., especially those who pursue multiple/many/all
trans-stargazer
the above is a flag for those who consider themselves trans-stargazers (consider their stargazer identity "trans" in any way) and wish to take particular pride in or simply specify their trans identity with a flag. the original stargazer flag is inclusive to trans-stargazers
#i cooked this one up QUICK#very happy with the term and flag. really fit the vision i had for it :]#i would worry about their already being an existing term for this but honestly im too happy about this to care#the term “stargazing” has personal meaning to me from my source so i'm really happy to coin it like this and share it with the world#original post#kinda me tbh#coining post#coining#flag coining#radqueer#radqueer coining#rq#rq coining#transid#transid coining#stargazer#transstargazer
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this is what happens when you let a white guy read Pride & Prejudice at 13
#he means recieve both in that she'll hear him and also (hopefully) take it to heart. unfortunately he's being a bit optimistic on that front#i love doing little 2koma/diptychs like this. i worry i might do them too often#claudrien#wissym doodles#thewarmembraceofshadow#adrien agreste#tweosdrien#claudia perreault
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So if Fakey hates baths and getting wet, then how does he stay clean?
..... clean?
he doesn't care about Clean all that much. not that it's too important anyways, since his body kinda just... naturally absorbs any outside smells. he doesn't really smell like much of anything.
but if it DOES end up getting bad enough, then warm water and baths is alright. it makes the whole "turning into a literal pile of wet goop" thing much more tolerable.
especially if there's bubbles. bubbles are tasty.
#the Stench Gremlin in his Stench Pile (but actually he's not that stinky so don't worry about it 👍👍)#i imagine his default smell would probably be like. just imagine shoving your face into wet fresh pizza dough. -#- that mixed with like. you know how Silly Putty smells? that. yeah.#he likes being in Smelly places a lot though. Smelly usually means Tasty. so it's a good thing that it's hard for it to stick to him!#my art#pizza tower#pizza tower fake peppino#should i just make like. a Fakey headcanons tag at some point? probably. i've god way too many ideas for this Frog at this point 👀💧
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i can be reborn as someone meaningful with this reincarnation apple. 🍏
#showtime past 25:00#wonderlands x showtime#nightcord at 25:00#project sekai au#pjsk#prsk#nene kusanagi#enen 🤖#rui kamishiro#r 🎈#emu otori#phenny 🍬#tsukasa tenma#pegasus 🌟#reincarnation apple#pinocchio-p#“mello you can't just make every pinocchio-p song a showpa reference” WATCH ME#this kind of started out as an excuse to draw nene and i was listening to reincarnation apple and went “why not?”#of course NOW i wish i left it as just nene#because drawing a full unit this fucked up wonderful world exists for me is really tempting#sorry about two art posts in a row and not any qna responses. for some reason the idea of answering asks is kicking my ass#more than drawing actual several hour art pieces apparently#which is Not Good considering a couple of those asks are kind of sort of important? don't worry about it#i've got a couple other things i wanna do too au wise#like a saki and tsukasa piece and this fucked-up wonderful world exists for me and ruinene backstory#and vsinger designs aside from miku and kaito too because i got their concepts down#but hhhey i mean it's not like you're being starved for showpa content right
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i didnt read the last chapters since i discovered it was the end (but i was spoiled by tumblr lol)... i didnt want to believe it... i want to still look forward to new chapters of No Home :(
For the last few years eunyung and haejoon have been my companions. I healed a little while following the story of eunyung, feeling like its ok to be angry and wanting revenge on your family and the society that continues to want to keep you in a "house" where you are mistreated. How the world isnt made for children at all, the absolute unfairness of it all. That you can choose to keep going, and if you do so its ok to keep your distance with what hurts you.
I healed too with haejoon, who came to terms with the fact that he will always be overcome with sadness and grief from time to time, and when that happens he can only let himself feel and wait for it to pass, and try to look forward to the next day.
Honestly this manwha was the best ever. I couldnt read this manhwa as a form of escapism because it was too real. It pulled strings in my heart i didnt know i had, made me question a lot of things about myself, about others, about my relationship with others. It made me have painful discussion with a few people. Following this manhwa, most of the time, was really unpleasant lol. I hated then loved eunyoung, I liked and then disliked haejoon (yeah sorry haejoon, i think you can be really cruel and stupid and i wanted to strangle you a few times in the last arcs (i would NOT be friend with that guy lol) -thats why this character is so amazing). But i felt so much while reading it i wouldnt trade it for anything. It was funny, it was dumb, it was deep, it was enraging and healing, but most of all it was sincere. The most sincere depiction of what being a person in a deeply flawed society is, and how there's happiness even while surviving.
It was so frustrating to see the manhwa go in a direction i didnt want it to go ! I wanted it to become my cozy refuge, where every problems are magically solved, where haejoon and eunyung ends up understanding and loving each other in a cliché way, where theres a new home with my *fave charas* and its a series of feel-good interactions. Instead the problems kept pilling up, most of them didnt have a satisfactory conclusion, eunyung and haejoon kept hurting each other and distancing themselves. Haejoon just cut contact with his father without knowing what were his nefarious motives or without this guy facing any consequences, we dont know if eunyung's parents will keep bothering eunyung unchecked, we dont know if they're going to be happy and rich, or if, realistically, as orphans without generational wealth and deep traumas, they're going to end up in a shitty life situation.
And i couldnt thank wanan enough for this. They didnt take the easy way, the feel-good way, the way that would have given them a probably bigger fandom so a bigger source of money. I'm amazed by how they managed to hold this whole story so perfectly. Not a single misstep. Everything they draw was where it should have been, every action from the characters were understandable (and frustrating lol), the fucking subtlety of the developing relationships, no deus ex machina and no miserabilism. I didnt always agree with wanan's ethic or what i perceived of it (i think stealing or being violent is ok depending on the context, i dont think working hard to earn money is a virtue) but i respect how they choose to present it. I didnt talk about the other characters because honestly they didnt move me as much (except marie), but i love them so much too. I felt sad that eunyung and haejoon didnt become best friend 5ever (or even lovers hehe) but honestly, understandable lol. If i was one of them i WOULDNT become close with the other at all, so its kinda amazing they could still find this level of mutual understanding.
In short, wanan is an amazing story teller.
And an amazing image-composist (have no idea how to say this in english). The artstyle doesnt look like much, but this gave wanan a wide graphic range to convey emotions that wouldnt have been possible with a more sophisticated style i think -how will i forget the red swirlings mixing with eunyung skin ? The expressions, the choice of colors, the choice in showing something in particular without giving a clear explanation on why (often haejoon's surprised or contemplative face, which made me re-read chapters a few times to try to understand what was happening in his big head). It didnt feel like wanan thought their readers were stupid, nor did they play the fake-deep style. It was perfectly balanced.
And so even if i didnt read it, i have no doubt the end will be the same. Im so sad they decided to end this manhwa, but i know prolonging it would have been greedy and that ultimately, the manhwa would have suffer for it. Some authors do that : they have a popular series going on, and for whatever reason they keep writing new chapters without a clear goal and so the story becomes diluted, messy, useless. I love when they do this, because i can say goodbye to a story progressively as my interest in it wans, without feeling sadness or loss. But it makes me not think of the story at all in the future, since everything that was good about it became buried in new shitty chapters. Because wanan didnt do that, i know that i would think of no home for a long while, maybe forever,
,like i really lost companions when no home ended actually. Because it really, really hurts, knowing i wont be seeing new faces of the no home characters anymore. I know it sounds probably stupid ; i feel genuine grief here lol. I want to know what will happen to them, if they are alright, if they found a place in the world... if there is something to look forward after all, and i really dread not having answers every monday anymore. and the fandom is so small i cant comfort myself by re-entering the no home world every week or whatever... does anyone else feel this way ToT ? maybe i should participate myself but well,, i wouldnt know where to begin...
And saying that ! I'm almost never on this blog, i dont really have socmed accounts, i dont participate in fandoms at all. But I spent a looot of time reading and watching people who does -without being connected or interacting with posts or fanfics at all. AND i really want to thank you all for giving me so much material to chew, posts that made me think, fics that made me smile, drawings that inspired me, witnessing interactions that made me laugh. I was and i probably will continue to be a ghost on socmed, but i really want you to know that you had an impact on me and i was looking forward to your new posts (and will continue to!).
the "every no home chapter is a test of my willingness to Not blow my own brains out" and explosion eunhae monday of @skiptoyuri
the regular nohome posters which makes me happy to check tumblr regularly @shimamitsulover @lesbianpegbar @luckyswamps @tomoyoo @cloudbends @t0a2ter @solcarow @dragon-of-timeless-blue
the awesome artists who keep producing bangers nohome art @gohaejoon @maxsolosur @jjd5426 @bnnuycafe @ct-bunny @lentl-soup @fartaycat @jjd5426 @prokkoli @moxymaxing @ginangtan
the nohome posters that i enjoyed running into @pleuvoire @homolobotomized @podoro-vines @fmet @welpuu @revertrate @obstinaterixatrix @kulluto
the artists that made me interested in checking no home @cienfll @craysmo @ant-eaters @idledee @fruiitlins @froqpi-art @201918b @tinfishmeal @ohrsoh @30mingirlfriend
thanks @ditherslam for the awesome fanfics, obviously i read them all and they're some of my favourites. youre an amazing writer and i cant wait for the next chap of "your atoms"!!
thanks @homeless202 for being an insatiable nohome poster for a while (and @grannykombucha !)
im forgetting a lot of others but i really wanted to thank you all for your time, energy, work. i never interacted with your posts or with you but i really want to convey how cool it is that you all contribute to make no home a more well-known manhwa and the fandom alive
thank youuuu (hope the @ are ok tell me if its bothersome ill delete it)
and really, really, thank you wanan ! waaaa i want to cry
#no home wanan#no home#no home manhwa#kind of strange wanan wil never know how muvh their story mean to me and probably lot of others they'll never meet#im really rambling but it felt strange to not post anything while ive been luring in this fandom for so many years#and thought about no home a few hours every day at least#it feels like a goodbye letter but i really know ill still think about no home for years to come lol#i kinda want wanan to make omake with the chara being silly and happy...#i want to know if eunyung and haejoon stay close T.T#please dont let time and distance make you apathetic#will eunyung inherit his father debts??#i have no idea how it works in south korea#i hope he finds a way to really have no ties with bis family anymore#and so nothing will come bite him in the ass in the future#haejoon being a model student and what is expected of society and having his uncle i guess hes one step ahead#well#except the mental illnesses#but eunyung i worry so much about him#please be happy in the future T.T#ah i should made another post its too much tags
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it was just going to be a few warmup doodles but then she infected the rest of the page like the ever eternal and spreading spores. hod!!! hod. hod :)
#lobotomy corporation#lobcorp#hod#hod lobcorp#lobotomy corp spoilers#I GUESS i almost forgot i drew her box form#lobcorp spoilers#and michelle actually. ..#both very tiny. itty bitty. microscopic#other sephirah there too as normal. i cant have her alone. and Angelina as well on the top patting her#i have a hard time fully capturing her for some reason. in my mind. maybe its because is the disconnected period!!! mentally#she genuinely wishes to care and be kind yet theres a dissonance with what she does..? or how it ends up being taken or what she does to en#up bringing those actions into reality. she can be forceful? wanting to have employees attend therapy sessions and meetings for suppression#tactics. which i think is also something the safety team is incharge of iirc. so that means shes doing way more that what she needs to on#her job as a sephirah. just for the sake of employees#she really does care as shes one of the only to Directly attempt to change their circumstances and quality of life and health#sure chesed doesnt punish employees when they dont do their work assigned or stress them out with work#but he doesnt actively push to attempt to make changes to aid employees besides the research perks which is to the manager#yesod IS right next to her and does also genuinely care but when it comes to employees hes distant at best when it comes to them and the#way he tries to protect them is by enforcing rules but he doesnt really create or attempt to help them like hod does#yesod is sort of a passive? way of doing it. yes he doesn make a push to enforce said rules but he doesnt make new ones. just follows what#is already there in place. hod tries to make new ways and not just for the safety of people like how yesod's has them physically fine and#not letting them over a certain threshold of mental corruption but she tries to have a program to Directly Address such a thing#its born out of care but the genuine worry of being a good person and her naivety ends up having it do more harm than good#sure there may be some employees that actually like and find it useful but so many are just accepting to their fate of Dying to where#her care seems pointless. shes a sephirah and to them a literal metal box why would they go ahead and feel bad for what an 'ai' is feeling#as she is interrupting their free time in the company#which is rude. and shit. iirc the counseling is compulsory but people go because shes a sephirah and their superior. the thought was there#but again it comes off wrong and ends up not working because shes their superior in the end#EEK!!! yeah... hod. the hod. there is WAY more but i can't fit it all here and i already typed enough
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People findinging out that antisemitism does, in fact, victimize people
#jumblr#jewish politics#antisemitism tw#nothing is more instantly frustrating than the 'jews just want to victimize themselves!' thing#yes actually. bigotry victimizes people. that's why it's called bigotry#honestly this is just me venting about this because i see this way too much#it's even more confusing how much i see it from 'leftists'. you sound worse than my conservative family#it's less that leftism is a set of principles to some but rather that it is an ego-boost i think#it's the aethetic of being a Good Moral Person without any of the work#you won't have to make any uncomfortable reckonings with your own pitfalls#you don't need to worry about what Actual Inclusion looks like because that's not the appeal of leftism#the appeal of leftism is how it props you up#i think in this case this is less a horseshoe theory moment rather it's just that people just...#don't care about the principles they say they have adopted because aethetics are a very attractive set of values#and the people who are hurt most by this is everyone else. it's the jews who won't make a stop in entire cities because they are unsafe#also to make this emphatically clear: antisemitism victimizes people (primarily jews)#this does NOT mean that i am saying someone is like... essentially a victim or they are Cursed or whatever else#recognizing that someone can be victimizes doesn't mean that someone is by character/nature a victim
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kids when they hear that their dad is back in town VS. kids when theyre hanging out with a conman that accidentally stole their wallet once
im not even joking btw
bonus heres me being crazy about them in dms ^^^
#mob psycho 100#mp100#shou suzuki#sho suzuki#reigen arataka#i know sho doesnt actually BELIEVE his dad is back but even just that split second reaction is a weird one to have over your dad coming bac#he was like 'say sike rn... wait that aint right.'#shou watching them on the bottom floor while being isolated up in the corner at the end of the third stage play. and saying#'it's nice that they're so easygoing.' all wistfully???? im killing somebody#reigen calling him a poor thing and worrying about him DESPITE knowing his mischievous ways. ugh#gonna quote my reaction to clip rq#'bro [shou] heard him [reigen] talking about guardianship over children and making sure theyre safe over anything else and was like-#'this is getting too real for me i gotta make fun of him immediately.''#idc WHAT yall think to ME that was such a thick layer of defense mechanism that even though reigen's guardianship speech wasnt directed#at Sho he still felt the intrinsic urge to shoot back because of what hes experienced with people who are SUPPOSED to be protecting him.#would yall believe me if i told you i am totally insane#there are SO MANY THINGS. woven into their interactions that really enhance it#its totally silly! yes! but also! it is a legitimate ARC of GROWTH within their relationship! we watch as Sho starts off#with no trust in the man at all (although for a pretty good reason)#and over time he realizes hes NOT total shitbag#of course this doesnt mean hes completely vulnerable with him. its easy to infer that his distrust in certain people is formed from#a lifetime of being let down and incapability of dependency on certain trusted adults. his defense must be so heavily built up#even after gaining some sort of trust from Shou Reigen will NOT be exempt from his impish defense mechanisms.#sho will not make himself emotionally available as he would then be open to being hurt by someone else he thought could trust#his 'carefree and prankish' behavior is the wall between himself and such an intense feeling of disappointment and hurt and loneliness#but i like to think hes also just silly. hehe#man that stage play huh. shoots every fatal drug directly into my bloodstream#shou's trust and father issues VS stupid conman who has the common sense to not let children be beat up by grown ass adults. who will win.#i mightve forgotten something but. i think this is pretty packed full already so i am pleased. thank you for reading <3#meowmeow art
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pls tell me more about self imposed time loops
ok so i was planning to write about what i like about self-imposed time loops but it ended up being more like a story? so uhhhh sorry about that lmao
(long-ish post under the cut, check tags for tws.)
(it’s also in second person & i’m not sure if that needs / has a trigger tag? but with the other tws it felt necessary to bring it up)
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How would your family & friends feel if they knew? What would they do with the knowledge that you keep throwing yourself into this loop over and over and over again?
You tried telling them about it before, while you were in the loop. They were horrified.
“Why would you do that to yourself?”
“You’re causing yourself more harm than good, you know.”
They didn’t understand.
You reset the loop minutes later.
They can’t know.
No one can.
Why would you do it? Because it’s worse if you don’t. You’ve seen what happens without the loop. You need the loop. Without it you’re left with tears. Without it you’re left with scars. Without it you’re dead.
Are you happier? Of course not. You still break down. You still feel the cut of the razor on your arms.
But you can just reset.
No one will know.
it’s a lie
you’re just going to hurt yourself more
please stop this
Your friend lost their dog.
No they didn’t, their dog’s been at their house all day.
You got in a car crash.
No you didn’t, you took a different route than usual.
You’re bleeding out.
No you’re n-
What?
No. You’re not.
Why won’t it work?
Why can’t you reset?
No. You’re. Not.
you are
you couldn’t reset this time
you couldn’t reset before
you knew that, didn’t you?
that it was all a lie?
they’ll miss you.
we’ll miss you.
i’m sorry.
#tw self harm#tw suicide#tw unreality#(uhhh i didn’t mean for it to get that dark i swear)#(this ended up being less “things i like about self-imposed time loops!”)#(and more “making this Random Guy incredibly depressed”)#(so uh. sorry if that’s not what you were hoping for?)#(and before anyone asks: we’re doing fine)#(don’t worry about us too much :)#not a time loop post#asks
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listen i still love veilguard and i think i'll end up replaying the shit out of it just like inquisition but uhhhh some of this writing
#etxt#datv critical#veilguard critical#< just in case#datv spoilers#>#why does tevinter just kinda feel like kirkwall-lite and not like.. tevinter. like The capital of slavery and racism? Where are these thing#why are the crows just basically nice anti-heroes lmao what happened to all the shit zevran told us about#and sorry why is solas being all “oh don't worry only Evil People will join up with the gods! the elves won't care if they reach out :)”#why is this so black and white suddenly. none of the villains i've seen so far feel very complex. they're just. evil#hello what is happening hereeeeeeeeeee#i dont know. is it gonna get better. i mean i remember people hating inquisitions writing when it came out too#but uhhhh
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And yet, if it be true, what terrible things there are in the world, and what an awful thing if that man, that monster, be really in London! I fear to think. I have this moment, whilst writing, had a wire from Jonathan, saying that he leaves by the 6:25 to-night from Launceston and will be here at 10:18, so that I shall have no fear to-night. Will you, therefore, instead of lunching with us, please come to breakfast at eight o'clock, if this be not too early for you?
Mina goes from "if he's in London" -> "I fear to think" -> "Jonathan will be home tonight so I won't fear tonight." It seems like she's worried for him being in the same place as Dracula for the night. Not necessarily because she thinks the Count will hunt him down, though that's always a possibility if he were to spot Jonathan somewhere this time. But at least for Jonathan seeing him and having another fit without her there to take care of him.
So of course Jonathan coming back to her tonight will ease those fears. But also, she's ready for them both to talk with Van Helsing over breakfast tomorrow, which she definitely would not spring on him with no warning. So she is planning on greeting him home and then having the conversation tonight. I want to see it so badly...
#dracula daily#mina murray#jonathan harker#i wonder if having it late-ish at night is gonna make it worse or better#like there's no GOOD time but maybe it's easier to accept at night? or maybe it's even scarier#and how does she even open the topic? it's not like it's gonna be#mina over dinner: my dear i would like to tell you a spooky story. this is real it happened to someone i know very well-#....i suspect she began by reminding him of her promises re: the journal. then explained she worried for him and opened it for him.#(placing it unsealed on the table) (waiting. being gentle and gradual) reminding him she agreed not to tell him unless he needed to know.#but he needs to know... because it's real. all of it. and what he saw the other day is real too.#god is there any way to break the news about lucy without filling him with guilt? i don't think so. i mean mina doesn't have confirmation#that she's a vampire yet. but can certainly put together that she was killed by one at the least
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"proship dni" this, "comship dni" that, "neutral dni" unfortunately the people you don't like are still human and deserve comfort. my fucking god shut the hell up you're just as annoying as they are and protest WAY too much about it. go unlearn your purity morality shit
#i dont even KNOW what comship means man#but im so tired of reading every instance of this under the sun with every post about selfshipping#like you realize a good CHUNK of the selfshipping community is going to BE them because they're already otherwise normally ostracized from#their communities for other reasons including being neurodivergent.#they deserve comfort too good lord shut the fuck up with the holier-than-thou “i'm better than you” attitude you're really fucking not and#frankly i'm more suspicious of people like you having something to hide about what they like and dislike#i'm neither pro nor anti nor neutral i'm just a human fucking being that stopped giving a shit about stuff that truly does not matter and#won't affect me in the long run. i'm an adult with more serious things to worry about.#it's like seeing the damn “dni” banners everywhere You Are Annoying.#also it's not like i like anything particularly 'heinous' anyways or pedophilic and i shouldn't need to clarify this but apparently i do!#i'm just sick of this purity culture bullshit i REALLY am#whether u want to hear this or not it is queerphobic and ableist. do u understand? cool.#proship#comship#f/o#selfship#selfshipping
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