#GOD THIS ASK MADE ME SO HAPPY THANK U
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crescentfool · 2 years ago
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Hi! I recently came across some chulip x persona fanart and I loved it so much I was reading the tags to see if more people liked chulip and when I came across yours it made me happy to see someone else that has seen the chulip lp from stephenplays since I don't know many people who watch him, but I just wanted to let you know that your tags are the best thing of that fanart! Made me happy to see someone appreciate the game also the implication in this crossover that you have to kiss everyone to finally kiss Akechi is hilarious to me lol. I hope you are having a good day whenever you read this and remember to drink lots of water!
WAAH thank you so much for taking the time to stop by the askbox- i'm really delighted to see a fellow chulip liker and someone else who watches stephenplays! (context for anyone who's reading, this is the fan art nadja is referring to! please look at it, it's genuinely so good.)
i absolutely adore crossovers and like... chulip is such a fever dream of a game. shuake in chulip where you have to kiss everyone to kiss akechi is just Phenomenal™ and it's great to see someone else who gets the implications as well 😎
anyways thank you once again for the message! i hope that you also stay hydrated and i wish you a very good day! ✨
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dossei-dossei · 3 months ago
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Jewel de Paris!! / Ayakaze Sakina Sayonara Show
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unriding · 2 months ago
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hi evie !! how have you been ? :33 i hope you dont mind me borrowing you and moze for something ehehe <3
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#🐦‍⬛🐕 .#彡 nick!#彡 inbox.#evie.ss#omg good morning nick! my stomach literally twisted and flipped seeing this /pos /POS /the most positive gut wrenching feeling in existence#NICK AND THE REASON WAS ? WHY DO U NOT HAVE A KOFI LINK WHERE IS IT …. THIS ISNT OK I NEED TO FIND IT???? U CANNOT BE … BE …. BE UM … YOU K#I NEED TO 😭😭😭 I NEED ….. IS IT OBVIOUSLY IM CRYING WRITING THINSSJSJSN /pos /ULTRA POS THIS IS SO CUTE UR ART IS SOOOO AWESME IM SO IN AWE😭#typos: obvious* <- & barrier* -> amazing work evie#i broke the sound banner with the screech i made seeing this …. YOU … YOU DREW ME … THE EXACT WAY ….. I .. ITS SO SPOT ON I ????? I … IM#FLABBERGASTED . SHELL SHOCKED . GOBSMACKED IM SO OBSESSED WITH HOW U DID MY HAIR …. THIS IS EXACTLY HOW I DO MY HAID … AND THE CURLS ARE LI#LIKE THAT… IM SO OBSESSED WITH UR STYLE JSJSJJD HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I SAID IT???? UR STYLE IS MMMMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!! 1000/1000!!!!!! in specif#the colors … the colors are gorgeous and sooo nice to gaze at … the little wings … HOW DID YOU KNOW I LIKE- IM SO . (hugs knees and cries#YOU DREW THAT DRESS AWESOME-LY …. IM GENUINELY LOSING MY MIND AND I HAVENG EVEN .. looked at *him* ….. nick …. im complimenting it and i#can’t even see rn HEJSJCKCNITS BLURRY 😭😭 my head hurts so bad from sobbing but ive never been happier /pos IM SO ???? I LOVE HOW U DREW ME#i went to go triple check for the kofilink and found myself browsing through puppetgear tag once again u^u JENDNDKXJ oh my god . PLEASEEEEE#ok…. moze … he’s … so tiny .. he’s so cute … he looks so grumpy :’) /pos AND YOU .. u captured his squishable look omg….. he’s so teeny he’#literally as big as a fingernail on my phone im :’) HES POCKET SIZED I CANT BELIEVE U DID THIS /pos /ETERNALLY GRATEFUL#WHY 😭😭😭😭😭 YOURE SO KIND IM SO . IM SITTING ON THE FLOOR OF MY ROOM SNIFFLING AND HICCUPING AHENDNJXKC AND STARING AT THIS OF COUESE#i just saw the ask 😭 i definitely don’t mind im literally on my hands and knees to thank you and it’s still not enough JSNSNDNMC i have to#dig a dent in the hole and bow inside the hole …… it’s not enough … i genuinely love every square inch of this JSNDNXN i just adore … how u#did me … how u did moze (so— everything) even the circle in the background is a color that i adore 😞😞 sniffle …..#what a treat to see moze in ur style 😭😭 what a HUGE . Nice . AMAZING. TREAT . he looks so good in ur style UGH I WANNA FLOAT AWAY#the physical reaction i had in my stomach & head is unmatched /pos …. it’s vaguely similar to when u get called on in class while nervous .#and ur stomach flips .. but in a positive / EVSTATIC / insanely happy way … thank you so much omfg (link?) (please?) you are so kind ….#i don’t even know how to convey my gratefulness so im resorting to crying-staring-crying-staring-crying#(cries)#oh i never answered ur question haha :’) yea im great! :’) and you? :’)#im gonna put this in queue >/////< URK IM SO …. THANK U NICK ))))))):::: (link perhap?)#edit: OHHHH I SEE HOW U DID MY HAIR COLOR!!!!! that is so cool hello? it’s black- but not? and it fits so perfectly!!!! THAT IS SOO COOL WJ#NO WONDER I WAS ADMIRING THE COLORS EARLIER THIS IS SUCH A COOL THING (nonartist tries to explain how neat something is) NSNDNXKK
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seventh-district · 1 month ago
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LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOO
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starheirxero · 1 year ago
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Servant Sun could be confortable if lord Eclipse decided to hug him??
Since he said he loved his "god" (im surprise if a Sun is confortable enough to hug a Eclipse)
LOVE THE CENTIPEDE GOD DESIGN
AAAA THIS IS SUCH A FUN ASK ANON ILY !!!!
I wouldn't exactly say comfortable, just... accepting.
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Despite his insistence that he is truly and wholly devoted to Lord Eclipse, I think it'd be hard to ever truly get comfortable in the arms of your god when you have a bug phobia and he has shifted his body to mimic a centipede LMAO 😭
Plus, Lord Eclipse is more likely to hug Sun unconsciously, which might actually make it dangerous to move away or point out what he's doing! Lord Eclipse would probably be humiliated.
... but! if Servant Sun did get a real actual genuine hug from Lord Eclipse, it'd probably just lead to a lotta confusion LOL
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mokutone · 2 years ago
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your art makes me wanna start testosterone
i can't read tone well, so this is either an incredibly touching ask, or an extremely funny one, and in the absence of confirmation: both!
i'm in a chatty mood, so i'll share some thoughts about testosterone and my art.
i liked being on testosterone a lot. i had an IM injection every two weeks (on tuesdays!) and because that's a sizeable dose every 14 days that slowly disperses, it can cause some mood fluctuations (every other friday i would have a crisis about not feeling like the world had a place for me in it) but even those were far more manageable than the ones that would come with my previous and current monthly hormone cycle (every month i spend a solid week thinking the world will never have a place for me in it)
It gave me a patchy little bit of scruff on my chin and a whispy mustache under my nose that still struggles on, despite adversity!
It redistributed my fat a little bit, but that's long since gone back to pre-T shape.
it lowered my voice! that hasn't changed :^)! even if i never go back on t, that won't change. it was the thing i most wanted, and its the one i'm most grateful for. Pre-T, I didn't speak much. I'm getting better and better at talking and getting more and more comfortable communicating with people because of it.
having been off t now for 3 years, i don't pass anymore—not as a cis man, or a cis woman, certainly not as anything approximating straight. if people look at me and see anything, i'd hazard a guess that they see me as A Queer (the noun—for all it's complicated connotations).
i'm not surprised that my art might make somebody want to start testosterone! a lot of my art was made out of the aching grief that came with being kicked off of testosterone, and how neatly that loss of autonomy over my own body knits in with yamato's loss of autonomy over his own.
how my body started doing things i disliked, how i didn't have the support necessary to access the healthcare i needed—how my inability to give myself what i needed made me feel as though i were trapped inside of myself and abandoned (by both myself and the world at large)
when i write comics about yamato as a trans man, i don't take away his testosterone, because that hits a little too close to home for me. for Ninja War Town Reasons, he has plenty of access to all the HRT he could ever need and nobody questions his need for it—instead, i project my own horrors onto the way Danzō defined his identity for him as a child, the way that Kabuto and Obito dehumanize him as an adult in their war efforts, and reduce him to the thing his body holds (the Mokuton). I give him a kneejerk compulsion to dehumanize himself (out of a feeling that he has a duty to his community to do so) and I give him a slow-growing resistance to that impulse (which comes out of a feeling that the people he loves would frown upon seeing him reduce himself like that)
it's dysphoria! it's not gender dysphoria, but it's a loss of self, and a need to reclaim it. it's a war between the hollow shell of a thing he thinks he has to be, and the vibrant and messy person beneath it that he is. it's a desperate need to say "this is who i am—only i can say it"
I enjoyed HRT a lot. it was a really useful tool in helping me feel like my body was my own, that i didn't have to fight it, that we were the same entity. It's not the only tool, but it was a really good one, and one day I hope to use it again.
(as for the being off of it—it's unpleasant, but i'm enduring! being somebody who now doesn't really pass as anything has put me in a weird and interesting position, where I'm constantly having to declare myself to people, because nobody knows what to make of me on any front. they don't know if i'm a man, a woman, nonbinary, nor even what age i am (Augh!!!!) it forces me to be brave and vulnerable more than I'm comfortable with—if I tell somebody I'm a man, there's no way that they will believe I'm cis, but I'm not about to recloset myself—and I don't think I could at this point anyway.)
(there's something fascinating about the position i find myself in, and while i'd leap back on t the moment that an opportunity presented itself to do so, i do feel like i'm experiencing something interesting and important in this weird zone i find myself in)
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sleep-nurse · 10 months ago
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Melty land nightmare hima for your troubles
Hugging you rn <3
MMMMY$EIOY>OHUHJNHHGUET(T£)(£%()£(/)%(£/)(£/()=&£()=&£)=(£&)(=)&(=()=&=éPOTPééLç°PçP°°çéPçPé🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹💖💖💖💖❗❗❗💖💖❗💥💥💥💥💥😭🥹ASDFGHJKLòàù
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narugen · 3 months ago
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Hello I haven't touched tumblr in YEARS but I am coming crawling back purely because of you hsmn fics cause I want to read all you posts. you have CURSED ME my good sir /pos
HELLO!??!?!! THIS IS THE BEST THING IVE EVER RECEIVED IN YEARS WHAT THE HALE?
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puppppppppy · 1 year ago
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Xin Ya is so cute and well designed! more a question than a comment but I just love your style
thank u!! im currently redoing bits of their backstory and design so hopefully ill get some more art of them up soon
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httpiastri · 1 year ago
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Lol I just saw that formula 2 post of Paul Aron and kinds scrolled past it- then my brain clicked and I scrolled up- that neck??? Those arms??? 🤤
I just wanted to send it to you, I open Tumblr and there it is, your last post hahaha
I mean I know Paul Aron exists and that he's pretty cute looking, but I never noticed that neck 🙈
-✨
pleaseee bestie i told myself to only simp for oscar’s arms/hands/neck, no one else's (except for liam’s too)(and clem’s…. i still have that clem hand dump that’s been in my drafts for so many months), but……..
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tell me, how am i supposed to not simp for this ??? bestie????????
like the thing about paul is. he's so so pretty and he's cute and i wanna pinch his cheeks (like especially when he smiles, and the way he laughs like a 3-year-old? oh dear), but he's also so hot and it doesn't make sense to me!!! how can he do it all?? and the neck is so good and he hasn't even driven f2 yet, imagine the f1 neck he would get 😭
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arunneronthird · 2 years ago
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The Death of Jason Todd is such a weird moment, and for me makes the birth of Tim kinda all the more special
basically the 1980s you see the birth of the adult comic fan, the late 1970s and early 80s sees comics geared at high school and college age guys, the X-men in 1975 for Marvel and the New Teen Titans in 1980 for DC.
Come 1986-87 you have the adult fans, and for Batman two works by Frank Miller, 1987's Batman: Year One and 1986's The Dark Knight Returns, both project a grim serious "for adults" NOT FOR KIDS! Batman who in both cases does not have a Robin (well DKR kinda does but we'll get there) most importantly DKR is presented as the future of DC comics as having taken place in the main timeline and were we're going. And Batman's shift to a darker more serious more adult character is set off by... the death of Jason Todd.
So you have a camp of comic fans, particularly Batman, fans who wanted to be taken seriously as adults and not have their thing their hobby characterized as "for children" you also have fans, who feel like there should have only ever been one Robin, Dick Grayson. Remember Grayson was a main character in the wildly hugely to this day biggest selling ever New Teen Titans. Till Crisis in 1986 Jason Todd had the same word for word origin story as Dick, he was also a Circus kid, his family was the "Flying Todds" who fell to their deaths. it's not till 1987, only about a year before his death he's given his own famous tire stealing origin story (and black hair...)
Any ways its unclear to this day if fans really did vote to kill him, since there's always been a rumor one person set up an automated system to repeat call the line to kill him, the final difference between kill and not was 72 votes.
However I think in so many ways that makes Tim special because the writers saw what the fans did, saw that neckbeard rotten comic fan boy rage about wanting their adult grown up grim gritty solo Batman and said "no you are wrong, Batman needs a Robin" it's not just Tim saying that to Bruce it's the creators saying it to the fans.
okay this is gonna sound a bit weird but bear with me anon, if u ever like, want to expand on this u should write a post and send me the link so i can rb it cause i think its such an interesting read and it opens up so many posible discussions and people wont be able to talk to u if ur an anon! people including me btw
that being said, it is interesting that the writers doubled down on tim after killing jason, knowing the writers hated jason! at least as far as i know, my sources are as unbiased as any dc fans so... probably biased
i think the person who originally wrote tim did indeed believe furiously that robin did not make the comic immature, he gave depth, but tim was always a... more serious robin, the quirky dialogue was cut a lot, imo, which im not complaining about, i do like the more serious batman tone, but its so fascinating to know why that shift probably came to happen
lastly i may be a dreamer but i chose to believe the poll was not manipulated, if only because of the fact that i would probably have voted to kill him off, and dont get me wrong, i love kid jason, but as a reader, wouldnt u wanna know what would happen, what it would do to bruce who was trying so hard? to dick who never trued as hard as he could? would there be another robin? how can u say no to that
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pepperpixel · 1 year ago
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Hello! I watched your speedpaints on repeat when I was in middle school (like 6 years ago) and sometimes still go back and watch them for the sake of nostalgia and good music. I just wanted to let you know you’ve touched my life and left a print, thank you 🤍
Thank you. So so much. For sending me this??? The me who made all those youtube videos. Doesn’t exist anymore. Life got harder. In so many new and horrible ways. And that like. Spark to create kinda died. And also I had more important shit to worry about all of a sudden. But. Knowing that it left on impact on someone enough to send me a message. Years after I’ve stopped making them tho. Idk.. that means something.. I appreciate you didn’t forget about me! (/my videos lol. I kno u don’t kno me. My vids and art feel a bit like. An extension of me tho? In a way. But I kno that it’s not a 1:1 thing. My art an videos express thoughts ideas and feelings of mine. But they are not. Me. Just lil slivers of me.. Tiny lil portions from specific moments in time.)
Sometimes it feels like those videos were just a flash in the pan. A brief moment of attention and fame I didn’t grab onto hard enough… and now the moments long gone. but. I didn’t rlly want to grab onto it, I just wanted to make fun videos. And show off my music taste lol. And express. The music videos my brain would create in my head into the real world. And then I got too busy w real life kicking my ass. (Ps. life has now stopped kicking my ass!! It’s gotten better. Just. Not the same as it was before) Maybe I’ll get back into it one day. If I have any new ideas. Once I get stable and know what I’m doing. And get like an iPad or something so I don’t have to wrangle w my laptop lol. But yeah!!! Srry.. I’m rambling a lot.. this message just made me emotional ok! I’m being openly vulnerable in turn hopefully that’s not too weird lol. I’m happy my videos had an impact on your life!! That means. A fucking ton. Like. Words cannot properly express the weird happy feeling that gives me in my heart. Thank you so much!! For real!!! Srry for getting all in depth about my life again this message just!!! Struck an introspective chord w me!!!
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wistfulwisp · 1 year ago
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pisici, as requested
(lee, guoba, honey apple)
OHOOOO they are so HANDSOME AND REGAL and I loves them 🫶 orange cats have such himbo energy
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brattyspence · 21 days ago
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sugar lips | s.reid
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summary: (tweaked from request a lil bc im difficult.) early seasons!spencer/reluctant!spencer is so enamored by your lips and works up the courage to request head for the first time tags: 18+, MDNI. early seasons!spencer, same universe as ‘u up?’, oral (m receiving), finger sucking (??), no y/n, limited yucky words, reader is referred to as ‘woman’ and ‘girl’, spencer is down rlly rlly bad, reader swallows… idk what else. this is pure filth a/n: first request ever, thank u anon! sorry it took so long. i hope this doesn't suck, this is my first time publishing smut in ages and it was SO hard to write! word count: 1.2k masterlist
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Spencer, the lover boy to end all lover boys, who insisted he existed simply to worship the ground you walked on, had never ever made a request like this. If you had asked him a few weeks ago, he would have freaked. Spencer, who was so, so happy to simply exist in your orbit, who never asked for anything in return, who was more than happy to give give give and never receive, making this request.
Yet here you were, happily settled on his lap, the warmth of your body reflecting off him. You had been teasing him all night of course, but this was different. The soft murmurs of conversation between kisses seemed to be fueling something greater. 
“Did I smear my lip gloss?” You asked, pulling away slightly. 
God. The damn lip gloss. The bane of his existence. How could he ever treat you with respect and dignity when you were looking at him like that, glossy-lipped and doe eyed?
“Just a little.” His thumb trailed along the border of your lower lip briefly, catching on the sticky gloss briefly. “Still beautiful.”
He couldn't be sure what exactly happened in the next few seconds. He could have been responsible, sure, or maybe you had done it on your own accord, but somehow the pad of his thumb, which was just tracing your lower lip, had dipped in your mouth.
Germs. The term briefly crossed his mind, a distant echo. Bacteria and viruses and other things that were not designed for the human mouth, especially not for you, the woman he respected so much it hurt. Germs. Still, he couldn't finish that line of reasoning. Not when you were looking at him like that, and oh god, oh god, oh god–
He was so mesmerized by it. He watched the way you had so willingly taken his hand in yours and encouraged him along, gliding your way down and then back up. He watched the way you had slowly pulled away, leaving his skin damp and sticky with that damn lip gloss. Clearly he hadn't heard your question.
“Spence?”
“Hm?” You watched his eyes flit back up to yours.
A hint of a smile crossed your face. “Did that do something for you?”
“Did… that? Did that… do something for me?” 
“You got pretty quiet.” You still held his hand in yours as you pressed a kiss to his thumb again. “I could do it again.”
Spencer ten minutes ago would have been so, so upset. But that Spencer hadn't seen the spectacle you'd just created. He could only manage a slight nod.
You hadn't given him a second to finish processing the first part before he found you doing it again.
He was already formulating a protest, but it was weak. You could see it fizzle out with the string of saliva that snapped from your lips to his skin. 
“Hey,” you said, softly. “Talk to me.”
How on earth could he talk to you when you just did that?
“I just… wasn't expecting that,” he replied. 
“Mhm,” you nod. “But you liked it. You got a little flustered.”
“I… yeah.” It was useless denying it. 
You shifted in his lap, leaning a little closer. “I know you're thinking about something.”
His eyes narrowed slightly as he thought about it. You could feel his pulse under your fingertips. The gears in his head were busy ticking away.
“You looked pretty like that,” he replied, his voice soft. 
“With my mouth around you?”
“Yeah.” He swallowed audibly. “Mhm.”
You knew him well enough to know that he would never outright ask for something like that.
“Do you… want me to use my mouth somewhere else?”
He held your gaze for a second. You'd made this offer before, and he had aggressively turned it down in a string of “No, no, no baby. Don't worry about me”, but not this time.
“Please?”
You shifted off his lap in a split second before he could rethink his request. He considered it, of course, but you had settled down on the carpet with enthusiasm. He wasn’t even sure he was capable of turning you down when you were literally on your knees already.
You swiftly looped your fingers around his waistband, and you were surprised when he'd accommodated the motion, shifting his hips forward.
“Are you sure you-”
“Yes, Spencer. Would you please relax?”
His head fell back against the couch the moment your hand made contact. He was sure he couldn’t watch – not only was it defiling, but he was certain he wouldn’t last. Somehow, the second your lips wrapped around him, he threw all caution to the wind. 
An eidetic memory certainly had its perks, and he was damn sure putting all of them to use. This image, this entire moment, he knew would change him in irreversible ways, and none of them seemed to matter. 
You felt his fingertips gently brush the hair away from your face. He only hesitated for a moment before his hand came to rest on the back of your head, his thumb still rubbing circles against your cheek softly. He was looking at you with an incredible amount of awe.
“So pretty,” he breathed. “Jesus, angel. You look so–ah–so pretty.”
As you continued on, things only escalated. You had never seen him like his. Breathless, whiny, maybe. Desperate, absolutely. His eyes were heavily lidded, watching your every move as if missing the smallest detail would cause everything to crumble. He was half convinced that this was a dream, as he only ever let things like this happen in his imagination.
He was actively resisting the urge to tighten his hand in your hair, but you weren’t making it any easier. Your motions hadn’t relented in the slightest, and you didn’t exactly plan on letting up. 
“Baby–oh, fuck—baby, please,” he sighed. “You should… slow down.”
The words barely had a chance to leave his mouth before you reacted, of course doing the exact opposite. 
There were things Spencer never fully understood. Until now, he never understood the appeal of a blowjob. He didn’t do messy or sloppy. He thrived on selflessness, or at least he thought. But here he was, and here you were, changing that forever, nudging him closer and closer to the edge.
He had every intention of putting things on pause and finishing anywhere but in your mouth–but in the moment, his body did not want to follow his brain. 
He would feel bad about it later. 
You heard the momentary hitch in his breath. Then, the slight tightening of his fingers in your hair, and then the ever anticipated twitch against your tongue followed by the flood of warmth. 
After another minute, he finally managed to open his eyes again and draw his focus back in. 
You wiped your lips on the back of your hand, looking immensely proud of yourself at the same time. You could see the guilt hit him all at once as you looked up at him. 
“That wasn’t- I’m sorry. I don’t know what happened, and-” 
“Spencer,” you sighed, with a smile. “It’s fine. You were fine. I’m fine. I’m very happy.”
You climbed back up onto the couch next to him, brushing your knees off before settling in. 
“Are you… are you sure?”
“Mhm.” You nodded. “Are you happy?”
He sighed, and looked away for a second before returning his gaze to you. 
“Yeah.” He nodded. You could detect the faintest of smiles. “Very happy. Thank you, pretty girl."
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4suitedplayingcard · 2 years ago
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so i just finished listening to The Champion of Ennui today. my suspicions abt hylics being a secretly depressing game were right.
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headkiss · 14 days ago
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it’s christmas (this is gonna be a nightmare)
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pairing: steve harrington x fem!reader
summary: steve puts a little too much pressure on himself to make this holiday a magical one. or: 4 times steve messes up your first christmas together, +1 time it's perfect.
word count: 7.4k
content: established relationship, one injury (no blood!), some kisses, a lot of steve's thoughts, and a love confession <3 fluff all around!!!
a/n: a full length fic!! it's a christmas miracle!! thank you to the anon who sent the ask that inspired this fic and to all of u for being here. i love u, happy holidays <3
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Steve Harrington doesn’t know too much about what exactly a perfect Christmas looks like. He has his parents to thank for that.
What he does know is that this year has to be just that: perfect. Because this year he has you.
Though you went to high school together, you and Steve properly met in the summer. Right at the beginning of it, where the evenings still have a chill of wind but the sun cuts through it with welcomed warmth. Robin convinced him to take her to the flower shop just outside of town, and you’d been behind the counter to greet them.
Robin recognized you, and she chatted your ear off while you helped her pick a bouquet with the sweetest smile Steve had ever seen and he felt like an absolute moron for never having noticed you before at school. But he noticed you then.
He’d forced Robin to wait for him in the car while he stayed back, bought you your own bouquet of flowers from the store as if you weren’t the one who’d made them, and asked you on a date. Steve fumbled the whole way through, pricking himself with a rose thorn and cussing mid-sentence, but you still said yes.
You’ve been together ever since, and Steve feels incredibly lucky for it. Lucky for how kind you are, how well you fit in with his friends, how much the kids (Max, especially, though he won’t call her out on it) like you. Lucky for being allowed to grab your hand, to kiss you whenever he wants.
And, on the nights you stay over that grow more frequent with each month, lucky to have you fill the space in the Harrington home that usually feels so cold and empty.
So, maybe the holidays make him extra sentimental, maybe he cares a little too much about making sure it’s the best damn Christmas you could have. Maybe, for once, he’s actually looking forward to it all.
Robin startles him into the present — leaning on the counter at Family Video — with a stiff poke to the cheek. “Dude, I can literally tell you’re thinking about her by the look on your face. It’s kinda gross.”
He scoffs at her, even though he probably was making a face. “Sounds like jealousy to me, Buckley.”
“Shut up, if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t even know each other! I deserve compensation.”
Steve hangs his head dramatically. Robin is never letting that go. Ever.
“My friendship isn’t enough for you?” Steve says, placing a hand over his heart, “You wound me.”
“You annoy me,” she says, flicking his arm.
“Ow- whatever. You’ll be free of me in like five minutes.”
Steve checks his watch just to be sure. Robin’s closing by herself today, and while Steve would normally just stay and bother her anyways, he’s got plans that involve you and takeout and napping together on his couch.
As if the thought conjures it, you walk through the door, the bell jingling cheerily above your head, Steve’s car keys dangling from your fingertips. (Yes, he lets you drive the BMW.)
“Thank God,” Robin says when she sees it’s you. “Please get rid of him, he’s getting on my nerves.”
You smile and walk towards Steve, who immediately tosses an arm over your shoulders and pulls you in close, stamping a kiss to the side of your head.
You turn your head to the side and look at him, “What did you do?”
Steve gasps, “Me? Honey, you’re supposed to be on my side.”
You send him a wink, and Steve grins. He fucking loves having you with him, being able to speak without speaking. Your hand grabbing his and squeezing says I missed you, his squeezing back says me too.
“Okay, please remove your public displays of affection from the store and leave me alone with the overplayed Christmas song radio station, thank you.” Robin announces.
“Don’t miss me too much, Robs. I know it’ll be tough,” Steve says, guiding you forward.
“Good to see you, Robin!” you wave on your way out.
“You too!” And just before the door closes behind you, Robin’s voice rings out; “You’re my favourite half of the relationship!”
Your smile widens. Steve is the best thing that’s happened to you, and his friends becoming yours is one of the greatest bonuses you could ask for. It’s like his life made room for you as simply as the ocean’s tide pulls in and out. Gentle and certain.
He catches the keys when you toss them to him, and Steve’s mood just seems to lift and lift on the drive back to his place with you in the passenger seat, Christmas lights lining the streets glowing on your cheeks.
Yeah, he thinks, this Christmas is going to be perfect.
-
1.
That weekend Steve calls you and tells you to be ready by noon and to dress warmly. He doesn’t tell you much else besides his usual ‘see you soon, honey’ or ‘miss you’ murmured sweetly through the phone.
As instructed, you’re dressed in a pair of jeans and one of your favourite knitted sweaters, your brown leather jacket overtop and socked feet stuffed into your Doc Martens. Though you feel plenty warm, Steve will probably fuss over you and hold you close for body heat anyways. And, well, you’d never be opposed to that.
Steve’s BMW rolls into your driveway exactly one minute past twelve, and by the time you walk outside to meet him, he’s already standing on the passenger side of the car waiting to open the door for you.
“Always a gentleman,” you say, kissing him quickly on the cheek.
You slide into the seat that’s become yours for the most part, and Steve ducks down to kiss you properly on the mouth before pulling back, “Mm maybe not always.”
He closes your door and you laugh lightly, your face a little warm even though he’s been your boyfriend for months now. You don’t think you’ll ever be unaffected by Steve Harrington’s charm, ever be used to it being aimed at you.
Of course, you knew of him in school, but knowing the real thing, the kind, caring boy who’d been buried under King Steve back then, is probably the greatest gift you’ve ever had.
Steve drives with one hand just above your knee, his thumb running back and forth over the stitching in your jeans. Still, he doesn’t tell you where he’s taking you, his only hint was to “pay attention to the radio station.”
It’s playing Christmas music. Like that narrows things down a whole bunch.
You chat the entire way. Steve asks you how the flower shop is doing (“Poinsettias are flying off the shelves”), you ask him who he got for the group’s secret Santa this year (“Max. I’m going to need your assistance”). It’s so easy to talk to him, to laugh and joke and not have to worry about what you say or how you come off.
You never knew being with someone could be so easy until Steve.
Eventually, he pulls into the long driveway of a farm. A Christmas tree farm, to be exact, if the wooden arch you drive through is to be trusted.
“What are you planning, Harrington?”
He shrugs, his hand squeezing your knee, “Thought we could pick out a tree together. Put it up at the house. My parents aren’t gonna be around — shocker, I know — I figured we’d do it together. Make it our own.”
Steve pats your leg before letting it go and putting the car in park, his palms dragging over his thighs like he’s suddenly nervous.
“Our first Christmas tree,” you say quietly, almost to yourself, a smile creeping onto your face. He really is sweet. “I love it. Let’s go adopt a tree, Stevie.”
He flashes you a smile before getting out and jogging around the hood to open your door for you. You’ve learned to wait for him to do it since you’ve been together. The last time you tried to open your own door he made you close it again just so he could be the one to open it.
Before, you’d never really cared about that sort of thing, but Steve has single-handedly raised your expectations.
He grabs your hand and leads you towards the classic red and white barn, following the signs painted simply with a tree and an arrow pointing you in that direction.
When you turn the corner and see the selection of trees, however, Steve pauses.
There are maybe seven trees left, none of which are very impressive upon first glance. Their branches are skinny and the pine needles leave a lot of space to see through them. It’s safe to say these aren’t the Christmas trees Steve was hoping to surprise you with.
He was sure there’d be something better left, at least. And he’d been wrong. Minus a point on that perfect Christmas, he supposes.
Still, he walks you to the selection, the farm’s employee greeting the two of you as you walk up; “Hey y’all. Good afternoon!”
“Hey man,” Steve starts, “you wouldn’t happen to have any more trees left, would you?”
“Sorry folks, this is all we’ve got. Most people like to get ‘em early.”
Steve’s hope dwindles, and you can see him deflate a little bit.
You, however, don’t mind one bit. You tug on his arm to get his attention, and Steve turns to look at you, brown eyes shining like honey in the sunlight. “It’s okay,” you tell him. “Even the little trees need homes, right?”
He shakes his head with a small smile. It’s cute, he thinks, the way you tend to talk about plants as if they have feelings. You do it when you tell him about the flowers you sell, too.
“Right as usual, honey,” he decides. “Pick your favorites.”
So, you wind up with two small Christmas trees rather than one full one, and there’s a small victory in it when you and Steve strap them both to the top of the BMW without too much of a struggle.
Another victory when you sing along to ‘Last Christmas’ and hold out your fist as if there’s a microphone in your grip to get him to join you. Admittedly, it isn’t a very good rendition, but Steve loves it all the same.
You have a way of turning things around for him, even without knowing it.
When you get back to Steve’s, he brings both of the trees inside and sets them up before bringing down the bins of ornaments and lights from the attic. He only shouted once when a spider crawled over his hand.
Having two trees makes it easy to turn decorating into a lighthearted competition. You both claim one as your own and decorate them with string lights and tinsel and ornaments. Steve’s mom would probably have an aneurysm seeing them used so haphazardly.
Though by the end, your tree is definitely prettier, Steve still feels like he’s won something as you lean your back against his chest and his arms cross over your own, keeping you there.
As a kid, he wasn’t even allowed to do the decorating. Mrs. Harrington had to make everything look picture perfect, and Steve’s hands didn’t help with that. Not according to her.
Today couldn’t feel more different from those memories of his childhood.
“Yours is better,” he tells you, chin perched on your shoulder, his voice low in your ear.
Objectively, it probably is better (your prior experience with arranging plants was an advantage), but you don’t actually care about that.
Today felt like a little glimpse into the future you and Steve could have. It’s easy to picture it: your own apartment, buying decorations you both actually like, setting it all up together every year.
“I think they’re both brilliant,” you say.
And while today wasn’t what he was picturing, wasn’t what he’d hoped for with his ideal holiday in mind, Steve finds that he can certainly live with that. Your adorable little clap when you’d finished decorating was enough to cement it.
It’s only one thing. He’s got plenty of chances to be perfect later, he guesses.
Steve dips his head and kisses the top of your shoulder over your sweater.
-
2.
You stay over at Steve’s that weekend. You’re both off work, and you find yourself spending your days (and nights) off with Steve more and more.
In the morning, you blink your eyes open slowly, naturally. No alarm set, your boy wrapped around you. It’s how you’ll spend every morning someday.
The sunlight sneaks through a crack in the curtains, cutting a line across Steve’s blue bedding. You squint at it, shifting onto your back gently. Steve’s arm remains slung over your waist as you move, his knee against your leg. You roll your head to the side to look at him, a smile creeping over your mouth at the way his cheek is smushed into the pillow, his lips pouting and hair a mess over his forehead.
Mornings have easily become your favorite time to spend with Steve. He’s cuddling you in some way every single time without fail, even when he wakes up. His voice is all low and gravelly from sleep and it feels like an honor to get to be the one to hear it like that. Usually, you spend an hour in bed with him after waking up. Laying together, talking, kissing. Sometimes (often) more.
You’d stay put right now if you didn’t have to pee so bad.
Slipping out of bed without Steve noticing proves a challenge, his arm tightens over you in his sleep, his brows scrunching. You whisper a soft “I’ll be right back.” He mumbles something incoherent, but his arm relaxes and you’re able to sneak away.
On your way back from the bathroom, you pause and take a peek out the window. You gasp happily at what you see: snow. A bright, white layer blanketing the ground sparkling in the sunlight.
You turn back to the bed and let yourself fall to it with a bounce, earning another grumbled protest from Steve, but there’s no way you’re going back to sleep now. You trail a hand up his arm to his shoulder, giving it a small shake, “Stevie, wake up.”
“Hm?” his eyes scrunch before opening. “What happened, honey?”
“It snowed!”
“Yeah?” he huffs a laugh at your excitement, his hand searching for yours in the sheets.
“Yeah, and it’s so pretty. We should go out before it melts.”
“It’s winter, sweetheart. Not gonna melt that fast.”
“Steve.”
“Okay, okay,” his hand leaves yours in favor of wrapping itself around you again, and he uses it to tug you close again. “Just five more minutes.”
His nose is pressed to the top of your head, and he breathes you in, smiling to himself. Mornings are Steve’s favorite, too. Only when they’re spent with you.
Secretly, he’s also happy about the snow. He was hoping mother nature would be on his side so that he could check yet another holiday item off his list with you. Hopefully one that will turn out nicer than the tiny trees you’d ended up with.
It’s definitely more than five minutes by the time you get Steve to get up and out of bed. You attempt to get him outside right away. He stops you with a: “No snow-related activities on an empty stomach!”
So, it’s a rushed breakfast of bagels and coffee provided by Steve, and then you’re gearing up and heading into the back yard.
The cold bites at your cheeks, and the tip of Steve’s nose is pink within minutes, but you love it.
There’s a snowman built together, snow angels made that get ruined when Steve rolls himself on top of you and steals a kiss or five. Naturally, all there is left to do is have a snowball fight.
You start it when you’re still on the ground, a hand sneaking into the snow to grab a handful and pressing it to the back of Steve’s head. He gasps, and you take the opportunity to push him to the side and get up.
“No fair!” he calls. “I was distracted and you went for the hair.”
“Your fault for not wearing a hat, babe,” you laugh.
“Oh, you won’t be laughing for long, honey. You’re in for it.”
And just like that, you’re running around like kids in a schoolyard, hiding behind trees, slugging snowballs at each other and cheering when you manage to not miss.
Steve silently thanks mother nature or the universe or whatever made it snow for the wide smile on your face, your eyes shining with mirth.
At one point, you’re suddenly distracted by something in the trees, and the snowball is out of Steve’s hand before he sees you start to look towards him again.
It hits you square in the face.
A quick “Ow” comes out of your mouth, though it really doesn’t hurt that bad. Your first reaction is just to let it slip, but Steve’s heart sinks to his stomach.
“Shit, honey.” He runs over to you and cups your face in his hands, his mittens soft against your skin as he brushes the snow from your face. “Fuck. I’m so sorry. I wasn’t tryin’ to get you in the face.”
Minus another point, for sure. Perfect Christmas: -2.
“I know, don’t worry,” you tell him, because he clearly is worrying.
“You okay?” he checks. He literally winces when you sniffle, frowns when he sees the way your eyes water. “Honey. I’m sorry.”
“Honestly, Steve, I’m fine,” you reach up and grab his wrists, squeezing them over his jacket. “I’m only crying ‘cause it got my nose. It doesn’t actually hurt.”
“Are you sure?”
“Positive,” you assure him. “Didn’t you used to play sports in school? Thought athletes had better aim.”
“I was a swimmer, baby. No projectiles involved.” He smiles softly when you laugh, but he can’t stop himself from asking one more time. “You’re really not hurt?”
“It’s just a bit of snow, Stevie.”
His eyes run over your face anyway before he nods. Then, he dips forwards and lightly kisses your cheek, the other, the tip of your nose, and your mouth.
“Well now I’m certainly all better,” you say against his lips.
Steve pulls back but doesn’t go far. “I think this snowball fight is over.”
“Buzzkill,” you tease.
He bends down and picks up a handful of snow before shoving it in his own face.
“Steve!” you laugh.
“There, now we’re even,” he says, snowflakes clinging to his lashes.
You let him lead you inside after that, his arm draping over your shoulders, yours hugging his middle as you walk across the yard.
Once you’ve both shed your layers of coats and boots and hats and mittens, Steve takes you upstairs and runs you a bath to warm you up. He apologizes another two times when he looks at your face for too long, and you have to kiss him to stop him uttering another ‘sorry.’
Hell, if it’s gonna make him this sweet on you, you’d probably take a snowball to the face any day.
Eventually, when the bathtub is full, a layer of bubbles over the surface, you coax Steve into joining you. He leans against the side with you between his knees, back settling into its home against his chest, his chin resting atop your head.
Steve runs his hands over your shoulders, presses kisses into your hair. All along he’s reminding himself that the next thing will go right. He won’t be throwing anything, at least.
-
3.
The next weekend Steve calls you again. He asks you to be ready in the evening this time, but still keeps things vague other than the fact that you’ll be outside and need thick socks.
You have a pretty good idea of what he has in mind, but he’d called it a ‘redemption date’ over the phone and even though you truly don’t think he has anything to redeem himself for, you don’t want to spoil his plans, so you play along.
He comes to the front door when he picks you up this time, knocking gently as if you hadn’t been waiting for him by the windows.
“Hi, honey,” he drops a quick kiss to your lips, “had to come and approve your outfit. Don’t want you getting cold and stealing my jacket again.”
He’s lying, really. Steve fucking loves draping his own jacket over your shoulders and seeing you pull it tighter around you. When that happens, he braves the cold, but he figures that probably won’t be smart for spending hours outside.
“Aww, but yours is so much warmer than mine,” you pout jokingly.
Steve simply grabs your thickest jacket from a hook by the door and holds it out for you to slip your arms into.
As suspected, he drives you to a skating rink. He chose one a town over from Hawkins, where they have twinkle lights strung above the rink and rainbow Christmas lights lining the boards. Steve smiles when you gasp lightly in delight at the sight of it. The brightness cutting through the already dark night sky.
Steve guides you over to the skate rental booth first, bumping his hip into yours when you attempt to pay for the rentals. “As if. My idea, my wallet.”
“You don’t even let me pay when it’s my idea, either.”
“Well, that’s just chivalry, babe.”
You roll your eyes at him and thank the man behind the booth when he hands you both your skates. As you walk towards the lockers and cubbies set up nearby, you lean up and kiss Steve’s cheek, his light stubble scratching your lips.
“Thank you for this,” you say.
“You don’t need to thank me,” he tells you. “Though I should warn you that I’m not very good at this.”
“What? You, not good at something? Please.”
“No, seriously. I’m like bambi on ice.”
You laugh and shove his shoulder weakly, “Don’t worry. I’m probably even worse.”
Steve grins. So far, so good. This one will be perfect. Well, as perfect as it can be considering his skating skills.
You sit on one of the benches and Steve puts both of your shoes in one of the cubbies. He ties his own skates first before kneeling in front of you to help you with yours. He knows how to tie them, at the very least.
He helps you slip your feet into the skates first, then tightens the laces on one before peering up at you and checking, “Feel okay? Not too tight?”
“It’s good, Steve. I feel like Cinderella.”
“A perfect fit! She must be the one!”
“Dork.”
“That’s prince dork to you.”
Steve finishes up with your skates, squeezing your ankle before setting your foot down and standing back up.
On the ice, neither of you are very graceful. You hold onto the boards most of the time, and Steve stumbles and nearly falls every few strides, but you’re laughing and having fun, so who cares?
So what if you get lapped by multiple people on the rink, including children? So what if you get some side eyes for being too slow or in the way? Neither of you can bring yourselves to be bothered.
Best of all, Steve keeps a hold on your hand the entire time. He literally saves you from falling with his grip on your hand squeezing and pulling you up straight.
However, your hands being clasped also means that, inevitably, when one of you goes down, you both do.
It happens after a decent amount of laps; your toe pick catches on a dip in the ice and it’s all it takes for you to lose your balance. Steve somehow twists himself to catch the brunt of your fall.
He expected that to come with some pain, a couple bruises, maybe. Instead, his wrist twists painfully against the ice as he falls, as if he’d tried to catch himself with it, and he can’t help the hiss of pain that comes out when he lands.
“You okay, honey?” he asks you.
“Of course I am. I landed on you, Stevie. Are you okay?”
He tests his wrist out by flexing it, wiggling his fingers, and he tries to hide it but he winces when he does, a sharp pain shooting up his arm. “M’fine.”
“Bullshit, I saw that wince, Harrington.” You manage to get back up on your feet and hold out a hand for him to grab, “Up, I’m taking you to the ER.”
“No, no. I’m good.”
“Steve.”
“Baby.”
“Come on, you don’t want to make it worse, do you?” you urge him. “Plus, I’ll only keep worrying and bugging you about it until you let me take you to the doctor. Your wrist is already swelling, babe.”
Mostly because he doesn’t like the thought of you worrying about him, Steve agrees.
When both of your skates are off (your doing, this time) and given back to the booth, you reach into Steve’s coat pocket and grab the keys to the BMW. He doesn’t protest, and that alone tells you he must be hurting more than he’s letting on. You even manage to open your own door for once.
Steve’s quiet on the drive to the hospital, his hand resting limply on his leg. His brows are furrowed, his eyes squeezing shut every so often when a burst of pain comes. You do your best to avoid any pot holes or bumps along the way.
Once there, you make him sit in one of the waiting room chairs, “I’ll get the check in forms and everything. Stay put, yeah?”
“Your wish is my command,” he says, trying to joke. His voice wobbles a tiny bit, though.
It’s at least an hour of waiting before someone can see him (and that’s including your many pesterings to the front desk). You don’t mean to be a bother, but you’ve never seen Steve injured in any serious capacity, and it’s messing with your head.
He took the weight of that fall to make sure you wouldn’t get hurt. The way he pays attention to things like that is one of the many reasons you love him.
You love him. You haven’t said the words to each other yet, but you’ve felt them for a long time already. It’s hard not to love Steve Harrington.
Finally, the doctor takes him back, and you follow. After an x-ray and some prodding, he determines that it’s a sprained wrist and that he should keep it wrapped for a few weeks to make sure it heals. They give him a prescription for some mild painkillers, too, for the first couple of days.
You breathe a sigh of relief knowing it isn’t broken, but Steve’s shoulders are still slumped.
He’s in pain, sure, his wrist now wrapped up in a tensor bandage, but really he feels defeated at messing yet another thing up. Third strike.
Steve lets you guide him back to the car and drive back to his place. You’ve decided you’re staying the night to take care of him, and as much as he hates looking weak or feeling useless, he’s glad to have you around.
You dote on him back at home, grabbing an ice pack from the freezer after making sure he’s settled on the couch, throwing a frozen pizza in the oven, bringing him meds and water.
“Honey, it’s just a sprain. Please stop fussing and sit with me.”
His brown eyes shine a little, and you could never say no to him when he looks at you like that.
You sit beside him and he drops his head to your shoulder, your hand coming up to play with the strands at the nape of his neck, scratching his scalp gently. His uninjured hand rests on your thigh and squeezes.
“Best painkiller ever,” he says.
-
4.
Steve has convinced himself that nothing could possibly go wrong this time around.
His plans for today involve staying at home, just you and him, no outside forces to deal with or avoid. So much less potential for failure. That’s what he thinks, at least.
Steve knows nearly every piece of you, so, obviously he knows you like to bake. You’d made him a cake for his birthday, and every so often you bring him other treats from home. Naturally, that meant that there was no way he was leaving out Christmas baking.
He’d considered doing gingerbread houses, and then remembered that the last time he tried that in a competition with the kids, his house was nothing more than a messy pile of gingerbread slabs. One with a bite taken out of it.
So, considering his past failures this holiday season, he’d settled on something that he thinks — hopes — is really hard to mess up: sugar cookies.
His mother’s collection of cookbooks had never been used for more than decoration until now. Steve searched through them until he found a recipe, wrote down the ingredients, and bought them at the grocery store to make sure he had everything.
In school, he never did much studying, but he reread the hell out of that recipe in order to get at least this one thing right.
The tensor bandage is still wrapped around his wrist, which is fucking annoying, really. He has to adjust it every day, and it’s hard to do with a single hand. He much prefers when you do it for him, sealing it with a featherlight kiss.
Worse, the thing still hurts, and you refused to let him drive and put more strain on it than necessary, so you took the bus and walked the rest of the way to his house.
He’s got all of the ingredients and tools laid out on the island when you ring the doorbell. “Hurry up, Harrington, it’s freezing!”
Hurry he does. He lets you in and helps you unwrap yourself from your bundle of a scarf and hat and mittens and jacket. Steve dips in to kiss your cheek, your skin cold against his lips. “Wouldn’t have to freeze if you let me come get you.”
“I don’t want you hurting yourself for no reason, I’m fine,” you grab his uninjured hand and kiss the pads of his fingers, “and I like these hands.”
He smiles at your words, smug, “Yeah, I know you do, honey.”
You shake your head at him, but you’re smiling all the same, “I take it back. Your ego is getting too big.”
“Nooo, it’s just the right size,” he winks.
“Don’t you have plans, Steve?” you ask, changing the subject. “Getting a little off track, aren’t we?”
“Later, then,” he says, taking your hand with his good one and leading you to the kitchen.
You pause at the entryway of the kitchen, scanning over the things on the island, two aprons Steve must’ve dug up from somewhere hanging from the knobs of the cabinets.
“Tada,” he says, “we’re making cookies.”
“This might be my favourite one yet, Stevie.” You walk over and grab one of the aprons, leaving the other (a pink floral number) for Steve. “I’m in charge, though.”
“Wouldn’t have it any other way,” he says, taking the other apron without a complaint. “This is your kitchen today, chef.”
“Mm. That has a nice ring to it.”
“Chef honey,” he says, planting a kiss where your neck meets your shoulder, breath warm even through your shirt.
You get started after that. Predictably, you make a mess with flour on the island and mixing bowls strewn about the surface. You get distracted with a bit of a flour war somewhere in there, Steve smudging it onto your cheek, you onto the tip of his nose.
When it’s time to roll out the dough and cut out the cookies, Steve grabs a handful of cookie cutters from one of the drawers, setting them onto the counter with a small clang. They’re all holiday themed. Candy canes and snowmen and Christmas trees.
“Someone’s prepared,” you say, bumping your hip against his.
“I run a serious establishment here, baby.”
“I thought I was in charge.”
Soon enough, after sneaking bites of raw cookie dough and cutting out as many cookies as you could manage, they’re placed into the oven, the timer set.
You end up in the living room, a random channel playing on the TV while the cookies bake. It starts innocently enough, just sitting next to each other, shoulders and thighs pressed together.
Then, Steve’s good hand wanders, starting above your knee and moving up and up until he’s squeezing the top of your thigh, tracing patterns with his thumb. When he speaks a husky, “Come closer?” how could you ever say no?
So, somehow, you’ve ended up straddling Steve’s lap, his injured hand resting loosely on your waist, the other pressed in between your shoulder blades to keep you close. Yours are in his hair, running through the strands, tugging even.
It grows heated fast, and all of a sudden you’re making out like a pair of teenagers, Steve urging you to press further down in his lap, to writhe there while his mouth works yours until it’s all you can think about. All you can feel.
The room feels warmer, Steve’s jeans tighter over his lap, your chest bumping against his, hearts racing. Even just kissing him feels better than anything you’ve ever had in the past.
He kisses you like he’s starved everytime, sometimes a ravenous hunger, like now, or, when he’s gentler, something tender and soft. A sweet tooth.
The cookies are long forgotten. The timer sounds and nobody hears it. You would keep going forever, if you could. But then there’s the smell that hits your nostrils. The smell of something burning.
“Steve?” you say against his mouth.
“Uh-huh?” he breathes.
“Do you smell that?”
He pulls back, and it’s immediately after you say the words that the alarm goes off, piercing through the air, killing the mood, much to your dismay. Even more to Steve’s.
“Fuck,” he groans.
You’re both rushing to the kitchen then. You, fumbling off his lap, him beating you to the kitchen and frantically taking the baking sheet out of the oven and turning the thing off. You grab a towel from the counter and start fanning beneath the alarm to get it to go off, and when the cookies are dealt with, Steve joins the efforts.
Eventually the thing stops beeping, and you both rest your arms. The room still looks a little cloudy, the cookies black at the edges.
Steve doesn’t say anything, only rests his elbows on the island and slumps his head, defeated.
He’s so frustrated with himself. Not for kissing you. No, he could never be mad at that, but at the outcome of his final attempt at a holiday date going south again.
You frown at him, walking over and placing a hand on his back, rubbing gentle circles. “Steve? You okay?”
“I just- I messed it up again.”
“Hey, I’m as much to blame as you are. It takes two to tango, as they say.”
He huffs a weak laugh, picking his head up and twisting to look at you. Your pretty face, eyes nothing but kind. Fuck, he loves you, and he just wanted to show you that. To make Christmas as magical as it's supposed to be.
“I really wanted it to go well, you know?”
You realize then that he’s not only talking about today. That he’s been putting this pressure on himself all month to make plans and something has happened every time. You don’t blame him for that, if anything, it makes your heart ache with adoration.
“Steve, it doesn’t matter to me. Things happen, it’s okay,” you kiss his bicep lightly. “I’d rather things go a bit wrong with you than to have them go right with someone else. You are the best part.”
“I-” love you, he almost says. But he doesn’t want the first time to be like this, in a room that still stinks. “You’re the best part for me too, honey.”
You decide that next time, it’s your turn to do something for him.
-
+1
Steve comes home from work on Christmas Eve, eyes tired and feet hurting despite having worn relatively comfortable shoes today.
He’d tried to get the day off, tried to be able to spend it with you in bed for hours and hours and not getting up until the afternoon. Keith had other plans for him.
He even tried to dramatize his wrist injury. Still, he was forced to go in.
Walking up the driveway, Steve sees the glow of lights inside filtering through the curtains. He’s fairly certain he hadn’t left any on, but he also knows he’s often wrong about these things, so he shrugs it off and goes inside.
There’s noise coming from the living room. Crackling of the fireplace that he barely ever uses, music playing quietly, and then he hears you humming along.
“Honey?”
“Yup, it’s me!”
You know where the spare key is, Steve’s the one who told you the information and encouraged you to use it, but you’ve often been too nervous to do so. Not today, it seems.
While Steve was at work, you’d set up your plan for him.
He follows the sound of your voice without much of a thought, a moth drawn to a flame. When he turns into the living room, he stills.
There are strings of warm white Christmas lights hung about, the fireplace is actually housing a fire, and in front of it is a fort made up of red and green and white blankets and pillows. Some plaid, some with snowflakes, all Christmas themed.
“Did you do all of this?” he asks, walking slowly to where you stand by the fort.
“Figured it was my turn to organize a date, don’t you think?”
“Baby. This is all really sweet, but wha-”
You cut him off, “Uh-uh. Let me explain.” You reach for Steve’s hands, and he meets you in the middle willingly. Suddenly nervous, you shift your weight on your feet. “I thought we could do presents a little early.”
His brows scrunch, “But Christmas is tomorrow.”
“Please?” you ask, squeezing his hands once.
And, really, Steve would never say no to you. Especially not when you’re saying ‘please’ all sweet and delicate like that.
“Okay,” he says. “Yours is in my room. I’ll go grab it. And change; I smell like Family Video.”
“‘Kay, Stevie.”
You kiss his cheek before he goes for good measure.
Steve is confused the entire time, wondering what it could be that you’re up to, but he does as he said he would. You’d been wearing a set of pyjamas (one he loves on you; a soft baby blue pair of shorts with a matching sweater), so he goes for one of his pairs of plaid pants and a plain t shirt before grabbing your messily wrapped gift bag from where he’d hidden it under his bed.
Back in the living room, he finds you now settled on the ground of the fort, which you’d lined with fuzzy blankets and the biggest of the pillows. His gift is sat beside you, a gift box wrapped in a lovely bow. Your skills of wrapping bouquets are transferable, he’s learned.
He joins you, sitting across from you, but close enough that your legs tangle and knees bump.
“You go first,” you tell him.
“Okay,” he scratches the back of his neck, handing you the gift bag. “Let me explain it before you say anything.”
That grabs your attention, but your plans aren’t about his present to you, really, and you know you’ll love it no matter what because Steve knows you better than anyone.
You lift out tissue paper first, uncovering multiple different things inside the bag, also wrapped. It pieces together as you go. A toothbrush, toothpaste, a hairbrush, your entire skincare routine, a couple of pyjama and underwear sets.
“It’s so you don’t have to bring an overnight bag every time you stay over now. I, um, cleared out a couple of drawers in my dresser and the bathroom.”
“Steve,” you look at him, heart squeezing. It’s so thoughtful, so him, and you surge forward you wrap your arms around his neck and breathe into his skin, “I love it. Thank you. It’s perfect.”
Perfect.
“You really think so?”
“Of course I do,” you sit back into your spot. “You know I hate carrying things.”
“I never let you carry anything, honey.”
“Exactly,” you nod. Now, you hold out his gift for him to take, “Your turn.”
You watch Steve’s hands as he tugs the bow undone, then lifts the lid of the box.
Nestled inside are four delicate ornaments. A Christmas tree, a snowman, an ice skate, and a plate of cookies. One for every date he’d planned for you.
Steve frowns at them, not because he doesn’t like them, but because he doesn’t quite understand where you’re going with this.
“I thought it was time we started collecting our own ornaments. For our place, one day,” you tell him.
“They’re lovely, but honey you- you really wanna remember these things?“ he shakes his head, more at himself than you. “I messed ‘em all up.”
“There’s one more thing in there,” you say quietly.
The thing you're nervous about. A thing you’ve never said out loud before.
Steve finds it beneath one of the ornaments, a small piece of paper folded up. When he opens that, his heart stutters in his chest. Written in your handwriting are three words: I love you.
He blinks away from the paper to look at you, though his thumb continues to trace the words absentmindedly. “Honey-”
“I love you, Steve. Okay?” You shift closer, kneeling at his side, your hands coming up to frame his jaw, your fingers kind against his skin. “I don’t care that things didn’t go how you planned. I mean, I would rather you didn’t require an ER visit, but the point is that I don’t need things to be perfect. And I know you’ve been hard on yourself trying to make them so.”
He lets go of the paper and reaches up to grasp your wrists, his thumb finding your racing pulse. His uninjured hand holds on tighter than the other.
“Thank you for trying for me,” you continue, “for caring. But no matter what happens, things are perfect for me. Because I get to do them with you. Got that, Harrington? You’re perfect, and I love you, and-”
He shuts you up with a kiss. It’s a simple but firm press of his lips against yours, but it says enough.
“I fucking love you too, honey,” he says, his forehead against yours, lips only a breath apart. “You saying all of that it means — you mean a lot to me.”
“Yeah, well, I meant it.”
“I know you did,” he nods. Steve pulls back the tiniest bit to be able to see your face fully, his sweet brown eyes locked on yours. “I wanted our first Christmas to be perfect, and I didn’t wanna let you down, but you’re right. They were perfect, because you’re here. And I love you for bein’ here.”
“As long as you’ll have me,” you say. You push his hair off his forehead before letting go of his face and sitting back, “Why don’t you give those ornaments a try?”
“On those trees?” he asks, eyebrows lifted, voice joking.
“Steve.”
”Okay, okay.”
He picks up the skate first. Surprising, considering that one had ended in a physical injury for him, but you say nothing and watch him walk over to your little trees by the window. You join him, sitting on the arm of the couch nearby while he scans over the tree.
“Pick a spot, handsome,” you encourage. “There’s really no wrong answer here.”
He goes to hang the first ornament, hand wavering before setting on a branch.
“Well, maybe not-” Steve tackles you onto the couch before you can finish. You dissolve into giggles as he pokes at your ribs, his head on your chest.
Steve’s done keeping score.
Perfect Christmas. That’s it.
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thank you so much for reading!! if you enjoyed please please consider leaving a comment and/or a reblog and letting me know what you thought! it would mean a bunch of<3
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