#GOD THAT ENDING GUTTED ME
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This episode was SO beautifully done holy SHIT think I'm so emotional rn no one talk to me
#agatha all along#agatha harkness#lilia calderu#GOD THAT ENDING GUTTED ME#LILIA I WILL MISS YOUUUUU#The way all the tarot cards came together??? Delicious#Why was lilias death so tragic rho holy shit she sacrificed herself for her coven :(#I'm so emotional fn
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it's like, i really do enjoy most of the bats as characters and i really do like a lot of their comics. but also i am sooooo tired of them being hailed as better than literally everyone else. both in fanon but also in comics (modern ones are esp egregious imo, like WHAT was that shit about batman and the joker being the most dangerous men on the planet. hi. have you heard of lanterns? speedsters? supers? actually if i keep listing groups who could kick batman's ass we'd be here all day). they're like kudzu. that shit needs to stay in its native environment (funky little neo-noir detective stories) and stop being an invasive species (putting down everyone else to make them seem cooler). put bruce wayne back into a murder mystery setting that isn't about saving the world but is about saving one person or one family that no one else would've saved right now or so help me god. the whole invasive species cross contamination thing is unhealthy for both him And the other ecosystems he keeps getting transplanted into. please. it's so dark in here
#rimi talks#imo it's also like a massive escalation problem like Everything has to be huge immense world ending bullshit plots#rather than ''i am going to solve a local mystery to help local people'' things. which are important also#um. points at action comics 792. you see like superman does here? caring about one person who someone thought wouldn't matter to anyone?#sorry im just going to go on a superman tangent but ac791 and 792 both absolutely gutted me and everyone should read them#both are pretty standalone and both ruined me#one is about something tragic that happened when clark was in high school#and just wanted to try and help a girl everyone was bullying for being fat. and they became friends and had a good time at a dance together#and then the second one is about him noticing the chatty guy who runs the newspaper stand where he stops sometimes is missing#and then just stopping at nothing to try and find him. even though he's someone he barely knew outside of being a regular at his stand#and it just really got me. my god. more of that pleaseeeeeee 😭😭😭😭💕💕💕💕
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Happy halloween from Purrgatorio!! This year's costume theme is: things that have been distracting me from writing Purrgatorio
#god i love when ali is a little bitch its rlly funny to me. obvs noncanon since i dont reference real world media in mymk but#oc art#demon oc#furry oc#sfw furry#cute furry#halloween art#lucabyteart#purrgatorio#anyway yes! that is SAPfrins outfit. even if the joke is that ali doesnt play games i wanted to reference that i think if they did they'd#adore the opressive aura and miserable ending of start again. but be really bitchy about isat having a happy ending since it#goes against their miserable little worldview. art is about SUFFERING damnit!!! though they'd get over this and like it in their mid 20s#as for the other outfits. chrome is sonic because i drew them in this (miku!) sonic outfit in like 2016?? so its a reference :)#lavender is a lethal companyman because she likes plants and boy theres a bunch in there#markus is a scavenger from rw because i think it looks cute and markus would LOVE the speczoo of rain world. theyre a fucking nerd#and miao is that little freak from dandadan because 'little anime pervert' is a funny phrase and having#a single non-game thing here made the joke funnier to me lmaoooo. it hammers home that ali is on occasion#irrational and makes rude statements out of gut feeling even if they hold that they have Justified Opinions (lmao. on occasion. lolll)#anyway character tag time#ali alighieri#markus felidae#miao felidae#lavender wafeu#chromium mono#also ali and miao STILL havent met in purrgatorio lol. little mystery woman.....
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I DON'T give a shit, a flying single fuck about how reboots Marvel has for Deadpool, I don't give a flying single damn if his mind is fucked up if memories keep recreating themselves NO origin story for Wade is ever going to hit as harder than losing his mother for cancer and having a militar father, just to him to end up serving the military like his father before him and then right after being expelled he dicovers he has cancer.
Than him being a child that liked "supposedly" girly and feminine things and only feeling comfortable in showing this side of him as a joke.
Do not fucking touch me this is poetic narrative Marvel how the fuck can you fuck something so badly in the name of badly written stories and poorly planed jokes I'm biting your editorial team's emails.
#i will make a webweaving about that that will be so gut wretching >>>> ->TO ME<-#fuck marvel and their incontable reboots without my man#Cable & Deadpool is the only honest truth in this god forsaken hell of origin stories#also X-Man Origins Deadpools started so good and ended so badly I wanna fight the wrighter#deadpool#wade wilson#wade wilson my beloved#no one understands him like me / me -> delusional#it's what he'd would've wanted 😞😔#deadpool my beloved#q rambles#q rants#q screams at the void#fuck writers
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Ao no Flag (SERIES FINALE SPOILERS!!)
Seriously, don’t read this if you are planning to read Ao no Flag. That being said, go read the manga now!!
Finally finished reading Ao no Flag and I have so many feelings. Non-coherent, rambly, messy feelings. I was looking at reactions online and what mainly boggles me about the reactions to the final 2 chapters is people being “how is Taichi suddenly gay??” My friend living on this big planet he never was (he’s bi). He most likely just realized it later in life. Did the events of his 3rd HS year help him figure it out? Heck yes. Is he suddenly bi? No.
Not all queer people pop out into this world and instantly know they are queer. Heck, it took me 23 years to figure that out. It’s not like Taichi instantly realized he likes Touma and started dating him. He knew Touma mattered to him somehow, but it took him multiple years to realize how, as evident by him maybe starting his relationship with Touma after 5 years when Touma contacted them all. He gained life experience and grew.
People go through a lot of learning, unlearning and growing. Especially if you are outside of societal expectations and norms. Taichi grew up learning to and wanting to blend in with society. “Be normal, don’t stand out too much”. Add to that low self-confidence and you feel stuck. Feel like there is only black and white. only one right answer to life. It can be very difficult to look out of this dark box, trust me, I had a tough time and sometimes still do. But it feels like Taichi thought and thought and pondered even back in high school and came to the decisions that he did.
And isn’t that what the series is about? growing as a person, making mistakes, learning, allowing yourself to be visible and vulnerable, and eventually, making choices, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else, and continuing to do so?
These two pages really hit me hard and I was wondering why. And then it hit me. This is possibly the happiest I’ve seen Taichi be since his childhood. Like genuinely happy. He’s reached max happiness points and is sharing those with Touma. He’s made his choices, and he’s happy. You can and are allowed to choose what or who makes you happy.
That’s all that matters.
#ao no flag#blue flag#blue flag manga#toumatai#is there a point tagging it as spoilers? might as well#ao no flag spoilers#blue flag spoilers#he ending and series in general does have it's flaws but it has become a near and dear one to me#anyways isn’t it amazing how different people have different perspectives and that how you have lived your life changes those#Taichi be gazing at Touma for multiple panels and people be like aww friendship :“)#the way the omamori was want jerked him out of his rage? heck the way he treasured it? their whole conversation on the beach#HE WAS GENUINELY CONSIDERING TOUMA'S FEELINGS FOR HIM!?! NO STRAIGHT GUY WILL EVER PONDER THAT MUCH#i'm alright#also all the hand holing symbolism which im sure other people have talked about better#which also raises the point: let kids express themselves freely without putting gender roles on them#god the hand hold rejection from Touma as a kid was a gut punch#last thing#KAITO HOW DARE YOU NOT SHOW US GROWN UP TOMA AND TAICHI TOGETHER#I WANT TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION WITH YOU#ok that was long thanks for reading if you have?? <3#my feeling for this series are immense#oh have i mentioned its from JUMP!? of all the publications???#granted jump plus gives the creators a lot more freedom but still?? a bi protag?? with a gay main charecter along with multiple queer#confirmed or coded characters?#dint think it could be real#kurosaki rambles#PS i want Ao flag to get a boom in popularity again so that we can get an anime adaptation#if done well and respectfully it will have so much potential#if done well and respectfully it can have so much potential
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lol I tripped and fell into the Simon petrikov/ice king enjoyer hole. Anyway, this old man reminds me so much of my of Seville in both appearance and magical memory loss tragedies lmao. They should be friends.
#simon petrikov#seville#ocs#oc#maybe I will draw more of him#when the series ends#and i have prose to captivate me#i have thoughts#mostly about simon and marcy because god we need more of them#yes betty but aufhfhfhd Marceline is going to ve heartbroken#i crave simon and marcy apocalypse fic#his desperation then is so fascinating to read#horrifying and terrifying and gut wrenching
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2024 Belgian Grand Prix - George Russell(misc.)
#had a lot of fun making these :D#not the most cohesive but whatever#im sure other people will gif the other podium and parc ferme moments :D#just thought he was so pretty today aaaahhhh#HES SOOOOOOO!!!!!#his hair post race is just so. god. yeah.#i didnt expect this win at all. lol tho i dont really think anyone did#ive said it already but god what an impressive strat#its funny cause so many other drivers are like 'uh well duh i couldve pulled it off psh'#well guess who did actually fucking think of it and pull it off!!#it makes me very happy bcs people usually accuse him of choking at the very end#but for him to be this confident in such a risky strat and then pull it off for like 2/3 of the race and win????#wah what a guy so fucking cool#very happy to see all this success for him after he was so gutted at canada#george russell#f1#formula 1#gr63#2024 belgian gp#2024 belgian grand prix#we do a little bit of f1
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queen of tears spoilers!!
identity is above all else, it seems like. ep 14 of queen of tears ruined me in all the good ways. when the question is "do you want to die as yourself?" vs "are you willing to live at the cost of who you are as a person?", the ultimate answer hae-in gives is no. she'd rather come to peace with the prospect of death with all of her memories of loving and, in turn, being loved coming with her. the death of memories is more painful than the death of her life itself. hyunwoo begging and sobbing in her arms does not deter her, however much she wants to keep on living. as herself. keep on living as the hong hae-in who loved dearly and who was loved, desperately so.
a loss of identity is death to everything that ever had a hand in helping her become who she is now. this brings me to the phrase "death is for the living". the dead do not mourn or face the aftermath of their last breath in the world of the living. the living, those who are left behind, are the ones who truly know what death is. so it is painful when hyunwoo, the man who isn't struck with the terminal illness bound to take her life any time soon, begs almost on his knees for hae-in, the woman who's counting the seconds left she has to live, to give up her sense of self. it's understandable how both of them stand strong in their desires. one fears becoming a stranger to all that she loves and one fears becoming familiar to life without the one he cannot live without. so he does everything in his power to have her take the surgery (all effort is in vain, she will not give up her identity).
i love this episode so much. im still only halfway through it but i had to give my two cents. such a beautifully tragic dilemma of two people who love. one loves by wanting to remember, one loves by giving everything to make her live. have a taste of love again for the first time. he says that he'll be the first person she'll meet and get to know again after the surgery. that he will still be there for her when she wakes up a completely different, empty, and lost person. he wants her to live, does not care if she'll ever even be able to reconnect with him ever again. he believes that she deserves to wake up another day and smile. to still be able to make new memories.
in the end they're both very selfish people who love selflessly.
edit: help me my stomach hurts from laughing so hard oml not him using his face and body card to annoy her into living. using jealousy as a mean to motivate her to take the freaking surgery and live ugh im in tears ahhahahah i love how if she doesn't become convinced the first few times when he's nice, he just intentionally pisses her off or annoys her into doing things to help herself 😭😭 thr only way to get hae-in motivated to live: make her mad at himself and have her do beneficial things out of sheer SPITE
edit 2: NO WHAT THE FOUK JUST HAPPENED POOR HYUNWOO OH MY GOD the way he lost all strength in his knees my god he crumbled in front of her feet he got a taste of what losing her felt like with that massive crash im still in shock i can't imagine having to witness that and trying to get through the car window to help save her and then not find her there?? and then she appears unscathed thankfully and he feels like a bucket of ice cold water drops over his head??? man they have to be so much more careful from now on bc the amount of yandereism the other guy is exhibiting ugh and the evil mother saying she'll help him out with "i can't stop till the moment i die" wtf??? OMG SHE'S GETTING THE SURGERY WHAT WHAT WHAT "i promised i would never make you cry after we get married" WOMAN HE'S BEEN SOBBING HIS SOUL OUT EVERY EPISODE SINCE!!!! 😭😭 ALSO NOOOOO NOT MY BOY SOOCHEOL GOING THROUGH IT AGAIN I CANT TAKE IT PLS MAKE HIM HAPPY WITH HIS LITTLE FAMILY I WILL CRYYYYYYYY he's gonna have MAJOR trust issues lmfao
#tp#cinema time!#queen of tears#my gut is telling me she won't forget a single thing lmfao#NOOOOOOOOOOOOO WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF#WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK NO NO NO NO NO NO NO#I KNEW IT THINGS WERE GOING WAY TOO SMOOTHLY I FUCKING KNEW IT YOU FUCKING BIIIITCHHHH YOU ASSHOLE YOU#OH MY GOD YOU EVIL FUCKING GREMLIN I CANT I CANT I KNEW IT I WAS TOO OPTIMISTIC I FUCKING KNEW IT#HAE-IN MY GIRLIE POP PLEASE I KNOW YOU CAN RECOGNIZE THE EVIL IN HIS EYES THAT AIN'T YOUR MAN#the end of this episode is fr hyunwoo's villain arc he's had eNOUGH#yoon eunseok you fucking bitch fight me
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if they Tamlen solas' ass, that might just be IT for me
#weak! lazy!#o hhe's doomed! he's doomed! death flags all around!#GOD FOR ONCE I WOULD LIKE A GOOD FUCKIGN REDEMPTION ARC#ITS BEEN 16 YEARS SINCE ZUKO#do NOT message me about loghain i swear to GOD#i will be SO pissed if nothing the inquisitor/rook does matters wrt solas' fate#like if he dies no matter what#and the ''good option'' is your inquisitor is just?there? so he's not 'alone'?? bc they want a tear jerker#its like okay so alllll my choices in dai and trespasser didnt matter. again.#like i am just praying they use any of the cool shit available in the narrative#we canonically have time travel. we canonically have been able to the cure the blight. like#are u telling me. dorian pavus. mage who co-invented time travel#wouldn't be able to think of another way to remove the veil safely?#bullshit.#i just have this nagging feeling in my gut#that weekes thinks a 'hopeful romance ending' is akin to like. some stupid dr who shit#like i will also fucking throw my keyboard if its like. 2 solas'.#get out of there w that shit#like what if love changed everything? hmm? what then?#and i KNOW they said they're trying to give closure to all the various attitudes towards solas. problem?#i have never and will never trust a goddmn thing any bioware employee says.#tamlen was my first love so you see this is where the problem started
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Solas is such a contradicting character. One moment, he is a dreamer, a storyteller, a wanderer from the fade. The next, an agent of pride and vengeance, who will do whatever he thinks is righteous.
All of this, depending of what (or who) is in front of him. When his original nature of wisdom is appealed to, he is kindness. But how he can be twisted during times of confrontation.
Love him or hate him, he contains multitudes.
#and i am not okay#solas#datv spoilers#kinda#just early saturday thoughts#i've been watching his other endings and i'm just..#🫠#all of them are valid (especially the one where rook mentions varric GOD THE PAIN)#i personally did the one with a romanced lavellan so y'all know how it goes#it waa satisfaction for ME given the nature i wanted him to get back#but DAMN the other just slap differently and are so gut wrenching as well#idk if i'll ever be able to do them cause woof my heart#sorry for the babbles i'm in my feelings#dragon age the veilguard
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the way im crying on the bus oh
#'one day everyone will grow up and leave me behind' that was the final twist of the knife in my gut i know gege was giggling writing that#i am actually so heartbroken like he's really gone and that's it thats all it was ever going to be#hours later now it's hitting me#im actually not sad about his arc. it was amazing. he stayed a tragic character until the very end. tragedy was embedded in his dna#thats why it hurts so much#not to get deeply personal but. he really resonated with me. his loneliness and the way he dreams about his youth#my most vivid dreams are about my youth my high school#he is such a cathartic character to me.#im going to stop now i have to compose myself god im in public#gege really did create one of the characters of all time. i'll always love you gojo#jjk leaks#jjk spoilers#jjk manga spoilers
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kissing picrew because I like it a lot U_U
#fnafhs#I FORGOT TO MAKE THE WHITE PEOPLE WHITE AND NOW LOON AND EAK LOOK WHITE <- what a sentence#HAISGHAOSIG curse of picrew skintoness... RED LOOKS SO VAMPIRIC LMAO#i am an eaktrap shipper but in an inherently doomed way#in a way where i hope town gets run over#germaphobe when kissing or holding hands or general touching#+ “LOVE LOSES” is so fucking funny#imagine the blood on loowyn is yellow i did nawt wanna edit it#owynn has a thing where he just insantly gut reaction bites down#his stupid thing where everyone is against him + being vulnerable like that ends up in just: chomp#i would have made chica and golden but i got tired of editing chicas hair god bless#fox with his dumbass rat is very funny to me. Boy put him away not the time#fnafhs posting
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...
#im at such a weird point in my life. trying to choose between a phd and a doomed life as an academic and like just not doing that.#its crazy how not terrible i feel when im not in school. just give me tasks to do and i will do them. dont let me think.#but then im just avoiding my responsibilities. i dunno. i just feel like i would be happier with a structured job that ends when the day#is over. which is y my dad thinks i should get a government job. one of my former lab mates got a government job and he's settling into#spending the rest of his life out in Colorado. which is so weird. i dont kno how long ill be in the place im in now. will it b 4 more years?#or will it be only a few months? will i go back to school in the fall? its looking like yes bc i dont have a job lined up. but maybe ill#keep applying and dip out. let my dreams die in favor of balance and sanity. maybe some things arent meant to be.#its just so gutting. i was talking to my coworker this week. saying that im interested in so many things. i could have studied anything else#and traveled a completely different path. and a guy across the room was like: its never too late. but it feels like its too late. too late#to spend another impossible amount of money on getting a different degree. restarting on a second masters project. im almost 30.#im supposed to b saving money so that i can not work forever. but i cant do that if im just a student forever. so maybe i should just get a#job. god. but theres so much i still want to learn. and im in the perfect program for everything i thought i wanted. im in the perfect place#but everything's falling to pieces. whatever. i. just tired bc im on day 5 of work and have to go in for a day 6.#doing something i havent done before all day. but after than im going home for a week. so ill have lots to contemplate in the airport.#this is not how i thought things would turn out. but im glad im spending the summer working where i am. im learning lots on a human to human#level. and no one bleieves im 27 bc i apparently have a bby face lol. nope im 11 yrs older than u my 16yo coworker#unrelated
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I just can’t fathom how untrustworthy chaol is about aelin. They’ve became friends to lovers to bitter exes than to friends again been through thick and thin together grown to know each other yet he still thinks that she can do all these terrible acts in tower of dawn which she can but doesn’t want too and that’s the whole point she doesn’t want to she has a whole list of reasons why she could do all that but she won’t because it’s just not who she is even after all this time he still doesn’t believe that she wouldn’t do all these things and it’s just so disheartening because like he says in chapter 36
“But he knew that there were no restraints, no inner ones, on how far Aelin would go to protect those she loved. Protect her kingdom.
And if someone stood in her way, barred her from protecting them ... No lines existed to cross within Aelin in regard to that. No lines at all” she would do anything to protect the people she loves no matter what and the funny thing is is that he would do the exact same things for the people he loves he treats her so bad even in his own mind like yes aelin can and would do anything for the people she loves and cares for even if it would lead to her own demise which she does do for elide in empire of storms, I don’t know I just find it so fucking funny that he can criticize and judge her and reprimand her all the way across the fucking sea when he would do the exact same shit aelin would do for the people he’s loves and cares for.
I don’t know if this made any sense the point is is that chaol just doesn’t know aelin at all
Could she conquer the fucking world yes would she? No, that’s just not who she is
#just had to get this off my chest#I just find him so insufferable#he treats aelin bad he treats nesryn bad the only people he treats good are dorian and yrene#i just have no words#I will never like him sorry not sorry#I just hate it how he blames her for fucking everything even when it’s out of her power#like yeah she was a fucking assassin #yeah she killed gutted people#move the fuck on#she literally did that for survival#if aelin had kept herself in check my ass#that’s a direct quote from chaol himself#perhaps aelin had cost them this war this one shot at a future#bitch be so fucking for real#you’re dumb you’re literally dumb#no amount of anything will ever make me like chaol#SHES LITERALLY A FUCKING GOD#SHE WAS CHOSEN BY THE GODS THEMSELVES BITCH#SHES ONE OF THE ONLY PEOPLE TO END THIS WAR#YOU FUCKWAD YOU BALL OF FUCKING TURD#PUT RESPECT ON HER FUCKING NAME#you say you’re her friend but you’re literally not#tower of dawn#nesryn faliq#yrene towers#nesryn x sartaq#aelin ashryver galathynius#dorian havilliard#chaol westfall#chaol x yrene
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if any of you people out there are considering the hit classic procedural cop drama from the UK "Life On Mars", i need to warn you that the song "Goodbye Yellow Brick Road" will be completely ruined for you forever until you die
the association will be permanent, and you will hear the song and feel like you got punched in the stomach
#aima rambles#life on mars#life on mars uk#the ending if this stupid fuckin show did me so goddamn dirty#but god the ost is still a gut punch#also hi nerds haven't used this tag in a while#been too busy drawing gay cowboys
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HIII I KNOW. A LITTLE BIT ABOUT ANNIHILATION. PERIPHERALLY. ive seen like part of it but i do NOT remember much. except that its one of the prettiest movies ive ever seen. that being said im so eyes emoji abt ur au..... r there any specific scenes frm the movie ur thinking about?? how would the character dynamics differ from either canon?? etc etc etc!!!
GOD I FUCKING LOOOOOVE ANNIHILATION. ONE OF MY TOP 5 FAVORITE MOVIES OF ALL TIME EVER. yes yes yes yes yes OK. so this is. all encompassing crossover jrwi au which means I'm pulling characters from different campaigns. which. usually im not a huge fan of but i think i pulled it off rlly well in a limited sense here bc i have very specific reasoning behind why i put each character where. u will know at least two of them and they WILL cause you psychic damage so trust me when i say the other ones will too. putting this under a cut bc im gonna ramble
BASICALLYYYYY it's gonna follow the plot of the movie pretty closely just with slightly altered character dynamics + each of their reasons for going into the shimmer. so each person on the Current Team has lost someone on a previous expedition, and basically all of them are trying to find answers for what happened to their loved ones.
im gonna talk mainly about the ones you know because youll understand where I'm coming from the best with them but just know I am OBSESSED w the roles I have put gillion and chip in here. god I miss riptide every day .
DAKOTA COLE AS ANYA. Anya is the retired paramedic !! she's the one that. hold everything. gets killed by the fucked up bear. smile. that was just a fun little coincidence for me . ORIGINALLY I was dead set on having the pd representative be william bc im biased and I love him but after rewatching the movie I just think dakota fits in anyas place so perfectly. she's the most outgoing of the group, she's the one that initially invites Lena to join their team (also side note there is a pre-existing dynamic between dakota and chip because they've had MULTIPLE interactions in various what if crossover episodes and their dynamic is one of my favorite things ever). she's also the most aggressive. she's the first one to snap into action mode after finding the body in the pool, she's the one to take josie away from it and has a very protective stance over josie for the rest of the time after that (this is going to be relevant i am gonna talk about josie next) . once the group starts arguing about whether they want to continue further into the shimmer, anya shifts into a VERY black and white mentality, pinning ventress as The Bad Guy immediately for wanting to continue. and then when Lena shows some hesitancy over what she wants to do, anya snaps into a "youre either with me or against me" mindset. she also has this growing sense of paranoia ever since they find the tape of what appears to be the previous crew killing each other, and after she learns Lena is lying to them about her connection with Kane she goes way overboard with tying them to chairs and threatening to kill them. while i don't think dakota would necessarily go that far I DID say this to jonesy when we were rewatching the movie together so. bfu connecting two dots meme
anyway i think dakota is in the shimmer looking for william AND vyncent. parallels to the "dakota leaves for 10 months without telling them" which is why the three of them would be separated in the first place. william somehow finds out about the southern reach and his draw toward a mystery is what causes him to join the first expedition. vyncent goes with him because he can sense it's dangerous (and basically a suicide mission) and doesn't want william to go alone. I have. ideas. for what happens to them in the shimmer but they are vague at best right now and even then. dakota never finds out what happens to them before he's killed by the bear. the bear uses their voices to draw him out btw. smile. he dies protecting thr rest of the group even immediately after his paranoid breakdown.
OK THAT GOT LONG. OOPS. ONTO THE SECOND ONE
SHILO AS JOSIE. ohhhhh josie radek one of my favorite characters in media of all time. God I love her so much. anyway she's the only one of the current expedition with no previous combat training, so she's often seen by the rest of them as someone who needs to be protected. if I'm remembering correctly she's also the youngest. (in this. au. dakota would be older than shilo. feels better in my mind. none of them would be Kids they'd all be adults at this point but I'd put shilo in early 20s and dakota maybe in mid 20s. so . still young.) shilo is in the shimmer looking for his twin brother who went missing. somehow he was able to track down the southern reach and find out emizel was part of a previous expedition, and desperately wants to get him back. he's the one with the LEAST amount of knowledge going into the shimmer. he doesn't realize it's a suicide mission. he just wants his brother back. anyway when they get to the first outpost they find the remnants of the first team's base of operations, with names on a guard patrol rotation and leftover weapons and. a video camera. with a tape in a plastic bag labeled "for those who follow". josie is the one holding the camera when they watch it. the tape shows members of the previous party in the abandoned pool, one guy tied to a chair while the others cut open his abdomen to show his intestines moving around like snakes or worms. in the movie, the guy who cuts him open is Kane, Lena's husband. the rest of the party doesn't know her connection to kane, and she knows now if she tells them they won't trust her (and is proven correct by this when anya eventually finds out her connection) ANYWAY I'm going off track. sorry this is my favorite scene in the whole movie I get distracted. ANYWAY so when they see this, josie is the most immediately horrified by it because she's the only one who hasn't seen anything as gruesome as that before. for shilo. well. he gets to see the one being cut open is emizel. and then later when they get to the pool and find the body still there (again. josie is the one to find this. she's also the one who reaches down into the old dirty water and accidentally picks up the knife. which was still left in the same place they saw it be dropped in the tape) corpse plastered to the wall by all kinds of multicolored fungus and lichen, I think shilo doesn't immediately break down, he doesn't really. process it right away. I mean it's completely unrecognizable. it's not until he accidentally picks up the knife that it all clicks into place in his mind and he realizes "that thing right there used to be my fucking brother" and completely shuts down. runs out of the complex, dakota has to chase him down because they all know its dangerous to go anywhere alone, etc. after this he loses any sense of purpose, the only reason he came into the shimmer in the first place was to get emizel back and now seeing what happened I think he just gets. hopeless. which is the beginning of the end for him . i haven't decided if his exact death is the same as josies but i want it to be peaceful in the same sort of way. "imagine dying frightened and in pain and having that be the only part of you which survives... i wouldnt like that at all" "ventress wants to face it.. you want to fight it... im not sure i want either of those things...." josie radek i am in love with you. anyway. annihilation pool scene for you because I love this image more than anything
#DEFINITELLYYYYY RECOMMEND WATCHING THE MOVIE AHAIN ITS SO FUCKING GOOD#i have a lot of thoughts about gillion and chips roles as well but you havent listened to riptide yet so it wont hit as hard#also the others for posterity: rand from bitb as sheppard (the first one to die) looking for rolan and kian .#and rumi from apotheosis as ventress (the leader of the party) . i have a lottttt of thoughts about rumi ventress. they mean a lot to me.#especially considering what happens to ventress at the end of the movie. mirrors rumis relationship to godhood really well i think#UGH. fucking obsessed w this au#my freak week post for tomorrow is in fact the pool scene. surprise surprise. where they find the tape#so you get. THREE images. first one is gillion with the knife#second one is emizel being cut open to Worm Guts (the prompt is weird gore. lmao)#and the third one is. shilo and chips different flavors of horrified reactions.#and bc this is an au where there are not. fish people and superpowers and vampires and such#i gave characters like gill and the twins and rumi more human/modern designs. and .#holy shit i popped off with gillions completely by accident#i just kind of. started coloring him and zoned out and then went *squidward voice* oh god hes hot !#so i think i got possessed. actually.#anyway. thank you so much for letting me ramble this has been on my mind ALL afternoon#asks#friends!!!#intertexts#jrwi annihilation
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