#dint think it could be real

[vypridae]

i wanna ask about getting this vox print but its $100 BUT DAD SAID HE'D HELP ME PAY FOR IT ONCE WE GOT HOME FROM FLORIDA...

[sensitivegoblin]

One night offer:

Message me prompts for sexy pictures and I'll send them

Or if you need to get your rocks off in a roleplay

No limits on my end I don't care what you do to me

[milo-is-rambling]

Smoking real weed after only vaping for two days slayyyyyy I ❤️ weed but I also ❤️ not smoking around my bird so he lives a full life

[a-sleepy-ginger]

21/6/24

❊✺❂✺❊

Had alot of fun drawing

Yuru camp

[poorlittlevampire]

i think smthn is wrong with my eye but no one will listen to me bro

[the-friendly-entity]

[ ~"Creeme Public meets the human"~ ] - Cookie Run

You are a Human who found the Earthbread! Meeting cookies all around! how do the cookies react to seeing a human in their kingdom?

Part 1 | Part 2

What contains? Very long post, Odyssey Chapter Spoilers(?, Very Deep Topics, Metion of kill and dead

Can be visualized as? Friendship Relation Ship (stableshed to the last two Parts), Cookies meeting you!

Sinse you adventure arround the Earthbread, Cookies are start to get comfortable arround you, Mostly the Cookies who live in the Custard Cookie III Kingdom, Others who as been accept you due the Aprovals of the Acient Cookies, as you progress being arround the cookies helping them and conviven with them, slowly they start to not be afreid of you, rather love to be with you!

Of corse due this your preces is well know by now by the cookies of all the kingdoms, talking about you most of the time, all this voices slowly go to other parts of the Earthbread more far away, arriving to the Cremee Public

It was not normal a Human convived with Cookies, the last thing regristed appart of the Witchers was the Wizards who was the only close human thing who treat Cookies as equals, but was for decades ago until they desapear

Due you unexpected arrival of the Cookies earth, this caugth the attencion of one specific group of cookies, The Council of Heroes

It was just matter of the time the Council hear about you due the cookies who spear the voice to the Creeme Public, they could not belive about a human in they world, but this rumors as been souding more and more, related to Acients and Gingerbrave itself, making less hard to belive it just make out or Fake

They worries soon has start to been discusted about you, why are you here? what you want? and what was you real intencion? this was one of the only chance to investagate about the humans/Witchers an understand more behind Cookie History Itself

And soon a letter from the Council arrive at the Custard Cookie III Kingdom, Surprising your Cookie friends due was writed for you

GingerBrave Cookie: "Dear Witcher, we invite you to our Republic to meet face to face and knowing more about you, this invitacion will be and purely with pacifist intencions, if you accept, we will make sure to make a place so we can talk comfortable without cause any troble, Sinsery the Council", Why they want to Meet [Y/N] Out of knowere?

-Gingerbrave says confused, due he dint talk to anyone from the Council to even tell about your existence-

Wizard Cookie: It very Obvius GingerBrave, They alredy hear about [Y/N] becuse of the adventure we have to meet the rest of the kingdoms and the acient cookies! [Y/N] Is in the radar of everyone cookies and everyone wants to know what REALLY [Y/N] is

Strawberry Cookie: Oh no, does that mean [Y/N] is in troble? but dint do anything bad to be call, does they want to hurt or do something bad to [Y/N]?

Custard Cookie III: Even if they try to do something with [Y/N], [Y/N] is under MY Kingdom protecion, if something happen to [Y/N] they have to deal with me!

-Custard Cookie III says a little angry and annoyed, after all you showed nothing but kindness and someone who there to help others, you win your place in Custard Coookie III Kingdom and as a reward you under his protecion-

As yourself you dint know what to think or say, you was worried all over again, what they want to do to you, does they want to hurt you? so many questions for you and the Cookies, but no much idea what to do

With this unknow circustances, letters as been send to the Acients to try to seek for anserws, the Acients dint like the Council start to intevied with all this situacion, mostly knowing they could do unmoral things to archive what they want or what they want to know

Due the circustances and knowing a "No" as a responde of the invitacion could cause problematic things in the future from part of the Council, they decide to the better decicion is accepting the invitacion, and mostly guard you to keep you safe and to keep eyes of what happen in the Republic

They never expect to have to deal with you sooner...or well, way sooner of they thougth, but they know you dint nothing wrong, you just attrack to many unwanted eyes, something start to also worried the Acients....

As with your small boat start to go to the cremet public with your cookie friends and acients on board, you head was full of questions, it was the same was with the acients yes but at the same time not, becuse the aceints was with you, feeling this was something way more heavy as was, wondering what happen once you arrive? the least you want is cause chaos or a drama, more and more thoughst was fully your mind was starting to hurt

Dark Cacao Cookie: I can see you worries Human, but think will not help your situacion, we wil make sure to keep everything in ease or for the woerse keep you protected

-Dark Cacao has noticed you expression of worried, something that caught you off guard due was focus in your thoguths-

Golden Cheese Cookie: Yea, what ever these guys want from you i will not let just take you for what ever they want

Pure Vanilla Cookie: What ever happens, you are safe with us [Y/N], we gonna make sure nothing bad happen to you

Thanks of the words of the acients, you feel a little better, what ever happens is right you not alone in this, just hoping things go out well..

After a long journy to the Creme Republic, you was surprised to find this huge city, you was expecting to be like the acients kingdoms, but this was other level, the place so white and clean and the water feel so clean so diferente of cand-ish water you was starting to get use to it

The firts one to "greeting" all of you was Capitan Carviar Cookie, who was waiting near the waters to scool you all where the concil is going to see you, he mostly was annoyed, he dint belive in the rumors, was too crazy to be real, a Witch in the cookie kingdom? it was too ridicolus, but the Council was too worried to be true he just follow them, so was a absotluly surprised seeing the rumors was true

even so, he let his surprised aside and soon you and the cookies was near, gides you where the Council is, a place was a little far away of the city, alredy your big size let the cokies of all the leves of the republic see you, was a little of panic and fear from all the cookies for this "giant monster", but the paladins make sure to keep everyone calm and go back of what they doing

Once there, it was justa improvise place the Council made to meet you, of corse was full of paladins, ready to charge the firts order was giving but a little away so not to scared you or treathing you

The Council itself was well, surprised, confused, and shoked and worried, they expected you was big, but not this big, seeing they faces of unconfrtable of you, not a big surrpsied...

Clotted Cream Cookie: welcome to the Creme Republic! i most apologuies for this aproche, we dint expect to meet you this way but due all the cookies was talking about you we wanted to meet you as soon as posible

-Clotted Cream Cookie was the firts one to spoke, even he show surrpised from your exitence he never show sing of unconfrotable or disgust from you-

Mulled Juice Cookie: so this is the witch everyone is talking about, i must confest, im impressed..

-says Mulled Juice Cookie, examinating you up and down with such interest, after all you just a alive legend it was only spook in books and old writings-

Sablé Cookie: i was expecting you know, the hat...the cat or crows...and a diferente style clothes

-remarks, as she see your clothes very....unapealing, unstilish, and to be true, is the only clothes you was wearing and cleaning all the time-

Capitan Caviar Cookie: i thougth you all was lose your mind when talk about the Witch, but now is insane its true, its just make it worse that it is

-Captian Caviar coment it with a rough voice, alredy his expression show nothing but unfriendly, seeing you as a danger itself-

For other hand Financier Cookie even dont show much her expression, she was full of worries inside, you was huge, and how you look it was clear it will be hard to put you down, but anything to keep Clotted Cream Cookie save even if have to risk her life

Vanilla Sugar Cookie: I Aaagreed! this Witch being in the Cookie Kingdom its dangerous!, We should put them down before do something horrendous to all our sweet cookies!

-fastly accusing, not really waiting to keep you being arround anylonger just becuse you here-

Custard Cookie: agreed as well! your exitence is such danger to all cookie kind and kingdoms as equal, god knows what you ploting to do with each one of us!

-Joining to the Accusecions, as the situacion soon being more and more intense-

Oyster Cookie: Can you guys calm yourselfs? the Witch just arrive and alredy want to put them down, not even give the chance to let them talk, this is unprofesional for the Council itself

-Says Oyster Cookie visible annoyed and disapointed of how this is taking from the cookies of the Council-

for you part, you just looking down sad, this is what you expected to happen, they just want you gone and seeing you as a danger, you hold yourself for not to cry to not cause more drama in this tense situacion

Gingerbrave Cookie: Uh..can you guys stop saying Witch to [Y/N]? they dont like to be call like that, you guys can call them as....human? is [Y/N] is ok with that!

-Gingerbrave Cookie looks at you for a confirmation, giving a nob to him, is better that just called witch-

Vanilla Sugar Cookie: Human!? and why we should call them like that!? is a Witch!

Wizard Cookie: Well..tenecly no, [Y/N] doesnt know nothing about magic, nor even do something, and has it proivide to perform any magic

Dark Cacao Cookie: if you guys stop whining about, what you guys want from the human? why the invitacion as i see you guys want nothing but kill them

Custard Cookie: as far im awared, we dint invited you, only the Witch to come to our republic

Hollyberry Cookie: yes yes, we awared we not part of this boring invitacion, but as you guys has to know as well, [Y/N] is under the acient responsability, so we cant just let some cookies do whatever they want with them

Golden Cheese Cookie: You hear that, we cant just let them alone knowing you guys are unpredicted of what gonna do

Clotted Cream Cookie: i must apologuies for our behavor, this is the firts time we deal with something like this, please forgive us such way and if can understand us

-Clotted Cream Cookie look at the acients cookies and you, mostly noticed you are sad and unconfortable with all this happening, wanted to at least cheer you up a little-

Vanilla Sugar Cookie: Mhp! well then, if the Human is under the Acients Responsability, why is not DEAD? why are letting this human being arround the cookies knowing could be such DANGER to our kind!

Pure Vanilla Cookie: We awared of everyones worried and concer, we are too when we meet [Y/N] as well, but as provide to us is nothing but a sweet human, there to help others and dont want to cause danger to anyone! helping cookies of the kingdom with simple needs and much much more!

Espresso Cookie: Mhm, we see it in our firts hand, we dint trust at firts and keep our distance, but as more days as passed, the human call [Y/N] as show us be nothing but not a dangerous treath, at last, just a cry baby

Madeline Cookie: Indeed! [Y/N] is a sweet sweet human! is always there for the cookies who need help! always liseng to my wonderfull stories! and always admiring my aparence hohoho!

Custard Cookie: you put to much trust to that human, you dont see can easly fool you all! just pretending to be nice as long can to earn everyone trust to strike when have the chance to doom us all! how foolish can you guys be!?

Dark Cacao Cookie: we are awared of that posibility, we are not blinded of the human is pretending to have the chance to attack us, that why is awared if anything suspicus do, will be put that down, that right?

-Dark Cacao Cookie looks at you for you confirmation, you nod at him, you still remember his warnings and in your insides promise to not disapoint him, after all you dont want to cause hurt to anyone-

Oyster Cookie: as how we are sure to acomplish such thing? is the witch, not to judge the streight of the acients, but i dont think it wil be easy to simplity put them down

-You look confused Oyster Cookie, you dont see yourself hard to be kill, more when knowing cookies can do magic it just a piece of cake, Oyster Cookie just look you back confused as well becuse of your exprresion-

Capitan Caviar Cookie: i Agreed, i fight with huge sea monsters before, but this is out of my own level i ever been

Pure Vanilla Cookie: if ever happens we have to put down [Y/N] with the help of White lilly we can put them down, or at least retain them until we decide to do with them

Clotted Cream Cookie: about White Lilly Cookie, if im alowed to say this, where is she?

-You just put a hurtfull expression, you still remember so vivid White lily expression, that horroble expression of horror and pain and agony-

Pure Vanilla Cookie: she....could not be here with us, but she count as well for anything related with [Y/N]

the Council look at each other, thinking all this information and what to do, is confusing situacion had to afront, difente buts and what ifs put on the table, what to proceed and what will be the best if everyone agreeds

Mulled Juice Cookie: well, let the human be arround, we have a alive legend arrounds us, why not give the chance?

Vanilla Sugar Cookie: EXCUSE ME!? ARE YOU LOSE YOUR MIND!

Clotted Cream Cookie: i agreed with Mulled Juice Cookie, the Acients alredy is taking care of the human situacion and ready to take actions if antyhing ocurrs, even so, we have a army of palidins with magic pearls can help to put the human down, if happen the case

Oyster Cookie: We can observe as well if this human is good as want to show, can also do task to provide they trust and good intencions if really want the effort to be

Clotted Cream Cookie: and we can investigate as well the Human, after all we dont know much about the humans appart of the old writings we have, this is our good only chance to understan better the humans kinds

Dark Cacao Cookie: of corse you did have to say that....

-Dark Cacao Cookie looks angry at Clotted Cream Cookie as alredy expected to say something like that, while Vanilla Sugar Cookie and Custard Cookie dont agreed of the idea have you arround among us-

Sablé Cookie: well, i will not denied i abostluly curous to understand such creature

Pure Vanilla Cookie: We alowed you investigate about [Y/N] but we not tolerate if you do something to [Y/N] is againts any morals, or will be taking actions as well

Expresso Cookie: If im alowed, i will be very honored to take the investigation of the human, i did my own investigation just observing the human behavor in the kingdom, i will of corse, follow the morals and no cause anything againts it the desires

Clotted Cream Cookie: Look like we arrive to a conclucion it benefids everyone, to make sure, everyone agreeds to this last desicion?

-The concul nods in agreedment, even Vanilla Sugar Cookie and Custard Cookie but mostly becuse not have much choice due they out of numbers-

Oyster Cookie: before we finish, please human, there something you want to tell us here the concil?

You look surrpised, you get use to it others talk for you and keep quiet, so this was very diferent, now having the attencion of all cookies, Acients and Cookie friends as well, you take a deep breath, and decide to spooke

"I...[Y/N] i promise to show my trust to all cookie kind, to show i not here for any bad intencion what so ever, if i had to pay for the prise of my actions, i will without any resistance to be take my head off"

All cookies present was shoked, was not expected shut shoked words would you say, understanding you ok to take the responsibility to be put down if you do something is againts the morals

Clotted Cream Cookie: very well, i think this will be all for today, thank you for accept our invitacion, and i aploguies of how things as turn out, we hope our next time we see faces be less like happen today

The Acient cookies are glad this is finally over and things dint go out of hand, You too are glad this is over, you really just go back to the kingdom and rest from this tension, as Gingerbrave cookie celebrates everything utnr out well

The comeback home was at least better, Gingerbrave, Wizard and the Aceints helping you feel better after shut tense situacion, just hoping things in the furute be more brighter and be now becarefull, now that cookies eyes on you

For Espresso Cookie, now he have a huge investigation to do about your kind, he of corse will not rush things and take slow the investigation and not do nothing will make you unconfortable

And Madelin Cookie is sad could not meet his family, he would love to show you arround the Creme Republic and be in his sweet home, he know his family will love you not matter what you are

in the end, even if things go a little heavy, everything turn out ok

Mille-feuille Cookie: Our Gold.....is finally here

[cowgurrrl]

Keep the Wolves Away

Pairing: Joel Miller x fem!reader

Author's note: Dedicated to my real life Andies. Thank you for making me feel easy to love.

Summary: The worst decision [5.2k]

Warnings: platonic threatening, discussions of bad mental health, so much flirting that (spoiler alert) might be real, possible THE shittiest ex I ever could've written, all the southern pet names, alcohol consumption, the resurgence of an old nude of readers, gaslighty behavior, smoking cigarettes (don't smoke kids), Joel talking reader out of a spiral, two (2) kisses

"So, it's a date." Andie declares once you're done explaining everything to her over FaceTime. You pause your blush application to roll your eyes at her. 

"It's not a date!"

"I'm sorry, so I'm just supposed to believe you when you say you're going to be just friends with the hot, sweet single dad who sounds like he's head over heels for you?"

"He is not head over heels for me." You sound a little petulant, and Andie laughs like she did when you were in high school and trying to hide a crush from her. 

"Babe, he willingly went on a high school field trip just so he could see you."

"His daughter was there. I'm sure he wanted to spend time with her."

"I'm sure he did because he's a great dad, but he also wanted to see you in your element. It's sexy watching someone do the thing they love." 

"Yeah, yeah." You brush her off, and she scoffs. You toss your makeup brush back into its bag and check out your outfit in the mirror. It's nothing insane— just a plain black slip dress— but now that Joel's arrival is getting closer and closer, you're rethinking everything. "Do I look okay?"

"You look stunning!" Andie chirps. "I'm sure your not boyfriend will think the same thing."

"I'm going to get a plane ticket to Austria just so I can choke you out with my own two hands." You threaten, but she laughs so hard you can't stop smiling. Once the trans-Atlantic giggling dies down, the line goes quiet, and you take a deep breath as you pull your mascara out. 

"Are you nervous to see him?" She asks gently. Andie came home for the summer dubbed The Dark Days. She stayed over when the one-bedroom apartment felt too big and got you out of the house when you couldn't stand the four walls anymore. She took whatever he left behind to his new apartment so you wouldn't have to (and gave him a piece of her mind while she was at it). She made you believe in love again. Not sticky, frustrating, unpredictable romantic love but pure, easy, all-knowing love that can only come from long-enduring relationships such as yours. 

For a long time after he left, you thought you were hard to love. Too loud, too bright, too much. Until you were out at a bar with her one night, trying to find the remnants of your independence and self-esteem tucked under sweaty beers and cracked leather chairs, when someone pointed out how similar you and Andie were. "Like two sides of the same coin," the woman told you. Andie is one of the easiest people in the world to love with her quick wit, creativity, and smile. And you realized for the first time if you had even a shred of that, even if only by dint of knowing and being loved by her, then you must be easy to love too. You must be worth the mess and heartache and stained fingerprints. 

So, yeah, Andie was less than pleased to hear that all that hard work could be undone by seeing him again, but she was supportive. 

"I don't know," you sigh. "I'm not a kid anymore. I've had more years without him than I did with him, but it's still scary."

"I know." 

"I don't even know what I'm gonna say to him."

"He'll probably be too busy with the gallery and everything. Maybe you won't even have to." She says, and you groan at the uncertainty of everything. 

"God, why did I say yes?" You ask as a knock interrupts your whining. You end your call with a quick "I love you, thank you, I'll text you" before throwing your phone down. "Come in!" You yell from the bathroom as you rapidly finish doing your makeup. There's a pause on the other side before he jiggles the knob and finally comes in. "I'm just finishing up in the bathroom. Give me a minute." 

"D'you always leave your door unlocked?" Joel asks. The sound of his unsure footsteps reaches your ears, and you smile at the thought of him looking around your apartment like a lost toddler. 

"Only when I know someone's coming over," you say. "Sorry, it's a mess."

"Oh, this is nothin'. You should see Ellie's room." He says, his feet pacing the floor. You swipe on a cute lipstick you never wear and finally step out into the living room where Joel is waiting. He's wearing a black button-up shirt with nice pants as he stands with his back to you, looking at some of the things on your wall. 

"Well, don't you look nice?" You compliment, making him turn around with a shy smile. His eyes roam over you, taking in every detail or sliver of skin he hasn't seen before. His intense gaze reminds you of how he looked at you in the bar when you were sure his eyes would melt you. He looks dumbstruck, and his Adam's apple bobs when his eyes finally settle on your face. 

"Wow… you look-"

"Choose carefully." You tease to take some of the tension out of the room. 

"Beautiful," he says, thwarting your efforts. "You always look beautiful." 

"Thank you. Not so bad yourself." 

"You like it? Ellie helped me pick it out," he anxiously fiddles with the sleeves of his shirt. "Feels weird." 

"What specifically feels weird?" You ask, stepping closer to him to examine his outfit. He smells like aftershave and the cologne he's prone to wearing. Why the fuck do you have his cologne memorized, you think to yourself. 

"I dunno. I think I just feel outta place." 

"Well, you don't look out of place," you say. "These might be what's doing it, though." You tap the top buttons of his shirt, the ones buttoned all the way up to his chin like a toddler going to Christmas mass. 

"Ellie said I should do all of 'em since it's a fancy art thing."

"Well, you should stop taking fashion advice from a fifteen-year-old," you laugh. "I promise it's not fancy enough to justify being uncomfortable." 

"I'm takin' your word for it." He says as he reaches up to undo his top two buttons, revealing freckles across his chest and collarbones and the tiniest sliver of a gold chain resting against his throat. For some reason, you can't tear your eyes away from the veins in his neck or the delicate necklace stuck to his warm skin. "What, it really looks that bad?" He thankfully breaks through your thoughts, and you try to recover by shaking your head.

"No, no. Not at all. You look really nice," you say, clearing your throat. "Let me get my purse, and we can go." You don't even wait for him to respond. You just turn on your heels and walk to your bedroom. In the security of your bedroom, you let out a long exhale and try to get your mind back on track. 

You're just nervous. He's being nice. You're being nice back. It's nothing. It's nothing. It's nothing, you mentally chant. When you catch a glimpse of yourself in the mirror, you almost have to laugh at the fierce blush on your cheeks and the distracted look in your eyes. "You better get it together." You say, pointing at yourself in the mirror like it's gonna do anything to make tonight smoother.

The gallery is packed when you get there. Joel curses under his breath as he tries to find a parking spot, and you try to keep your anxiety at bay. All you have to do is show your face, look at the paintings, and leave. Maybe you can manage to steal a bottle of the cheap wine they're undoubtedly serving. It'll be an hour. Two tops. You can do this. 

You're so in your head that you didn't notice that Joel parked the car or that he was looking at you until he bumped your knee with his. 

"You okay?" He asks. You take a deep breath and nod.

"Just need a second." You mumble. You fiddle with your earrings, your dress, anything to keep your hands busy as you psyche yourself up. 

"When's the last time you saw this asshole?"

"He wasn't always an asshole," you try to redirect, but he raises his eyebrows at you. "Since I graduated college." 

"We don't have to go in." He offers easily, and you give him a look. 

"Yes, we do. My name's on the list and everything." 

"So?" He shrugs. "The world's not gonna end just cause one person didn't show up."

"But you drove all the way here."

"And I can drive you all the way back. Besides, it's nice having a pretty girl in my truck. It wouldn't hurt to have you here next to me for a little while longer." He says, and you laugh, feeling some weight lift off your shoulders.

"You get many pretty girls sitting in your truck?"

"Just my pretty girls." 

"Right." You say, and he smiles, creating familiar crinkles in the corners of his eyes. They look a little deeper in the moonlight, but his eyes shine differently. Your fingers itch to draw them if only to critique your work and find the answer to why he has such an effect on you. You're aware that you're staring, but you also can't find it in yourself to look away. Not when he's staring back at you so fondly. 

"What can I do to help you?" He asks. You feel like you could cry at the sincerity in his voice. You've talked to Ellie about her anxiety, so you know he has some practice in dealing with it, but he's acting like it's second nature. Like this is what he was meant to do. He bumps you again when you start messing with your purse. "Do you want this to be like at the bar? Do you want me to take you home and pretend like we were never here? Do you want me to go in there and crack some skulls? You say the word— any word— and I'll do it for you, darlin'." 

Darlin’. It's what he called you when you promised revenge for almost kissing you at the bar. Normally, you'd be against any form of pet name. Henry was not openly affectionate in that way, and you learned not to expect it from him. But here's Joel, dropping the term of endearment almost every time he's been alone with you. It could be that cowboy accent or his knee pressed against yours, but the nickname fills your chest with warmth and pushes away your anxiety. 

"Any word, huh?" You ask, and he chuckles. 

"My mama raised me not to make promises I didn't have every intention of followin' through on." He says. "What'll it be?"

"I think… I just need you to be there with me." 

"Then, that's what I'll do." 

"Okay." You mumble, and he smiles as a new wave of comfort washes over you. 

"Okay." He says.

"Okay." You take a deep breath and look at him in the driver's seat one more time. "Let's do this." Finally, you open the door and step down from his truck. He's quick to come to your side and offer you his arm before he can even finish locking the car. You smile, tuck your hand under his bicep, and let him keep you upright as you walk in. 

The gallery is full of people who look way more qualified than you— art critics, journalists, and other artists who can actually sell a piece. They barely glance at you and Joel when you breach the doorway, which you're silently grateful for. When a waiter walks by with champagne glasses, Joel quickly snatches two glasses from the tray and hands you one. 

"Here's to us." He says, and you cock an eyebrow at him. 

"Us?"

"Well, we're sure as hell not toastin' to that asshole, are we?" 

"I guess not," you laugh as you clink your glasses together. "To us." You each take a sip, and Joel tries to hide his reaction to the champagne, but you see right through it. "Not your speed?"

"Not at all." He groans as he chokes it down. 

"Don't worry, maverick, we'll get you something else later." You promise and tuck your hand back under his arm as you start walking through the gallery. 

A lot of his newer work resembles his work from college— normal portraits of things like fruits, beds, or people but with unexpected lines of colors lining them like they're vibrating. You even recognize some from your college days. You just never expected them to actually be displayed in this way, not even when you were dating and telling him what a good artist you thought he was. Some have vague titles like "$12" and "Jack," while others are untitled. You can see why it would get taken in by a gallery. There's a very clear skill in how he paints and manipulates everyday objects into something new. It would be impressive if it was interesting. 

Maybe you're just used to the way he paints. Maybe this is exactly what you expected of him. Maybe you thought he would've grown, if not in attitude than, at least, in skill. But it's clear that too many people told him good things about his work, and he saw nothing he needed to change or fix. Somehow, it makes you feel better, not worse, about your own art. 

"So, are these supposed to be good or bad?" Joel whispers to you as you get closer to the next section, and you laugh a little too loudly. The people around you give you nasty looks, but you can't find it in yourself to be sorry.

"Like I said at the museum, I can't tell you that, but…" you glance around to make sure nobody's listening to you. "As someone who saw him make a lot of art, this is definitely not his best."

"Okay, that's what I thought," he says before pointing at a specific part of the painting. "The shape is really weird right there, like he ran outta space or somethin'." You let go of his arm and step between him and the painting, smiling knowingly.

"Did you study for this?" You ask, and he nervously plays with the chain around his neck. 

"I may have… snuck a look at Ellie's notes." He admits sheepishly, and your eyes widen. 

"You were actin' like you were gonna have to rely on me this whole time! You don't need me to tell you what good art is!"

"Yeah, but I want you to." 

"Oh, whatever. C'mon, I wanna hear what else you think." You pretty much drag him to the next section of the gallery, but he's pliant and almost giddy at your hold on him. You take more time in the next part, and he ducks so his lips are near your ear to point out little things he notices. He said he was scared of being wrong in front of people "smarter than him," but all the observations he makes are valid and accurate. He lets you add your own analysis to his and watches you with a smile when you start talking with your hands excitedly. Suddenly, you're not nearly as miserable as you thought you would be, and you're even laughing together as you jump from painting to painting. 

"See, this isn't so bad!" You say as you move to the final part, but your smile and enthusiasm die when you step over the threshold. There, staring at you unashamedly is the painting Henry did of you when you were twenty and topless. He told you it was for his own artistic development, and you were more than happy to do it for him. You just never thought he would've kept it after all these years. Thank God your face isn't visible in the painting, but your rigid posture tells Joel everything he needs to know. He politely turns his back to the painting and steps between you and your likeness. 

"You wanna go?" He whispers at the same time someone calls your name. You take a deep breath and grab Joel's hand for support as you turn around and face Henry. His wavy blonde hair frames his face like it did in college but he's matured. His beard is a little more filled in, and he's gotten a little broader. Other than that, he's still the same person you met freshman year. 

"I'm so glad you could make it!" He says as he approaches. He doesn't try to hug you, and you don't move to let go of Joel's hand. "You look great. I mean, you always looked great, but you know what I meant," he says, looking over you. Only when Joel clears his throat does Henry even look at him. "Oh, sorry, man! We're old friends. I'm Henry." He holds his hand out for Joel to meet halfway, but he doesn't. You think it probably took fighting every single bit of southern hospitality in his veins to stop himself from shaking Henry's hand.

"'M Joel." He says, and Henry awkwardly drops his hand. 

"Nice to meet you, Joel. How are you enjoying the exhibition?" 

"'S alright." Is all Joel offers, not willing to gas up Henry's ego anymore, and you have to stifle a laugh at the expectant look on Henry's face. "Well, I think we were just goin'."

"Oh, so soon? You haven't even seen the last few pieces."

"Are those any better than the thirty identical ones I already saw?"

"Joel," you scold quietly, and his jaw flexes when you look at him.

"It's okay. Not everyone understands art enough to enjoy it." Henry says. 

"Oh, I understand everythin' just fine." You swear Joel would've punched him if he wasn't holding your hand so tight. You step in between them and raise your eyebrows at Joel. His shoulders are squared, and you can feel the molten anger rolling off him, but it softens just a bit when he meets your eyes. You squeeze him twice to let him know you're okay, and he nods. 

"Can you get me a refill on champagne? I think they're still walkin' around with some." You suggest. He gets the hint, but he obviously doesn't like it. He glances between you and Henry like he's trying to make a decision but folds when you mouth, "please," at him. 

"’Course," he says through gritted teeth. "Anythin' else I can get for you, baby?" Baby, that's a new one, you think. 

"No, I'm alright. Thanks, though." You say. Without thinking, you let your other hand rest on his jaw and kiss Joel's cheek. His jaw unclenches when your fingertips graze his stubble, and his shoulders relax when your lips make contact with his skin, but you know he's still upset because you're still upset. Joel smiles and walks away before you can get a good look at the blush creeping up his neck, and you're resigned to watching him disappear into the crowd. 

"He seems nice," Henry says the second Joel is out of earshot, and you have to resist the urge to laugh. 

"He is." 

"How'd you two meet?"

"Through work." You say, knowing that bringing up teaching will make his skin crawl. He sucks his teeth and nods, the champagne in his glass sloshing slightly.

"Ah," he says. "That's nice."

"Yeah," you agree. An awkward silence falls over the two of you quickly, and you're itching to find Joel in the sea of people. Henry notices your lack of attention on him.

"It's really good to see you," he says. "I feel like I haven't talked to you in forever."

"Yeah, that's usually what happens when you leave someone." 

"That's kinda why I invited you here tonight. I wanted to apologize for the way things ended," he acts brokenhearted and torn up about it, but he's years too late for the pity party he's expecting. "I should've talked to you about what was going on. We were just... becoming so different, and it felt like you were always talking to Andie or other people in the program, and there was no way to reach you."

"What are you talking about? I asked you multiple times if we were okay, and you said yes every time. I was talking to Andie so much because I needed someone who would understand me and be able to help." You say, and he waves his hand like he's swatting flies.

"Let's not do this. My therapist says it's not healthy to rehash the past like this. I just wanted to make amends and let you know I'm sorry for how you felt." It's not an apology. Not a real one, anyway. Jesus Christ, what did you ever see in him? Before you can even open your mouth to say something, he gestures to the gallery. "So, what do you think about all this? Crazy, right?"

"It's... something," you say. "Wish you would've given me a heads up about that one before I brought someone with me." You point in the direction of your half-naked body on the wall, and he gives you a confused look.

"I thought I did in the email." 

"Nope, I think I would've remembered if you said something about a half-naked painting of me from college being displayed," you shake your head. "Why do you even still have that? I thought you would've thrown it away or painted over it or something."

"Why would I do that? It's a good piece."

"I know it's good because it's my body. What's weird is you leaving me without a word one day and then keeping a naked picture of me all these years." 

"I didn't even think of it as your body. After a while, it was just a body," he says with no remorse, and you think you might hit him yourself. "Besides, you should take this as a compliment. Not many women get the opportunity to be depicted as art. It's a wonderful thing. You might even thank me one day when you're older." Finally, you see Joel walking toward you with a glass of champagne, and you take refuge in the fact that he's returning for you. "But, from what I can see, they've definitely stayed the same, so you probably don't have anything to worry about." He says like it's a secret or a compliment. You don't even wait for Joel to say or do anything. You just grab the wine from him and throw it in Henry's face. The people in the immediate vicinity gasp as you slap him and shove the empty glass into his hands. 

"Out of all the stupid things I imagined for myself when I was younger, thinking I would marry you was the stupidest," you spit. "Don't you ever try to fucking contact me again."

You feel like a fucking idiot. What did you expect? An apology? Repentance? Regret? He barely apologized when you were together. Why would he start now? God, was he always that bad? How could you have been so blind? How could you have shed so many tears over him? How could you have let yourself be so vulnerable with him and for so many years? It's a miracle he didn't call the cops and try to get the two of you arrested, even though Joel didn't do anything. You think, at least. The second you finished your sentence, you ran to the bathroom to cry and then snuck out through the back to wait outside Joel's truck. For all you know, Joel (rightfully) beat his ass and is on the run from artsy Austin hipsters. 

You put the lit cigarette back in your mouth and take a long drag, the familiar burning in your lungs a sick relief. You quit during The Dark Days because smoking was something he did, and you wanted to rid yourself of any reminder of his impact on your life. Apparently, at the same time you were scrubbing his fingerprints from your bones, he was in possession of and doing God knows what with the visual reminder of your vulnerability and love-sickness and acted like it was nothing. Like it was a compliment. Like it was just an object instead of your body. Andie would be pissed if she were here but especially if she saw you smoking after she braved all those shaky days and nights of nicotine patches and dried fruit and whatever other remedy recommended to help you quit smoking. You half-expect the same anger when you see Joel walking toward you. 

"Before you even start, I know I shouldn't, okay? It's a bad habit from when I was a kid, and I've mostly kicked it. I just... had a lapse. I'll be back on my best behavior tomorrow," you say as he stops in front of you. He doesn't look angry or upset. He just looks concerned and maybe even a little sad. Suddenly, you regret running away from him when all he probably wanted to do was help. You probably wouldn't have bummed a cigarette from a busboy if you let him. "Don't tell Ellie." You plead. His eyes flick over your face before he takes the cigarette from your fingers, puts the lipstick-stained filter in his own mouth, and inhales deeply, making the ember glow in the dark of the night. When he exhales, he blows the smoke away from you and lets the wind carry it in the opposite direction. A considerate smoker. You should've guessed.

"Don't tell Ellie," he says, handing the cigarette back to you. "Are you okay?"

You shake your head and take a long drag. It's quiet between you two for a while, the only sound being the cicadas and the distant chatter of the gallery. They're probably still talking about the psycho bitch who threw her wine in the artist's face. You don't really care. "I'm sorry for tonight. I don't know what I was expecting, and I sure as shit didn't know that painting was gonna be displayed. I swear, if I had any idea how bad this was gonna be, I wouldn't have invited you." 

"Why are you apologizin'? It's not your fault." 

"I shouldn't have roped you into this. I should've just said no, ignored the email, or came by myself. It's not fair that you got put in the middle of all this, especially when you were just trying to be nice. You're the parent of one of my students, and for you to see that side of me is just inappropriate. I just-" he stops your rambling by putting his hands on your shoulders and making you look at him, the cigarette falling to the pavement in the process. 

"Hey, hey. Stop. Take a breath." He says. Your head hurts from crying, and part of you wants to crawl into a hole and stay there until these feelings go away, but his eyes are gentle, and his hands are warm. You think he might be the only reason you're holding it together right now. "None of this is your fault, okay? Not the painting, not the conversation, none of it. We're both adults, and we can handle these things rationally. I'm not scarred for life just 'cause you lost your temper."

"But I-"

"No, buts. You told me the situation, and I didn't care. You warned me bout the art people, and I didn't care. You threw a drink in that asshole's face, and I didn't care," he says. "The only thing I care bout right now is makin' sure you're okay. Fuck everythin' else." You search his face for anything to tell you what he's telling you is going against his inner monologue but find none. He's completely and wholly concerned about you and nothing else. Not how fast he can get out of this. Not how this might look. Not what other people might think about him. Nothing. You take a deep breath and nod.

"Fuck everything else." You agree. 

"Now, you're gettin' the hang of it." He jokes, and you roll your eyes at him. He takes it in stride, his smile never fading as he looks down at you. You stop messing with the hem of your dress and let yourself relax for the first time all night.

"Thank you for being here, Joel. I really appreciate it."

"Not our best not-date, but definitely a memorable one." He says, and you laugh. You seem to realize how close you are at the same time because you both fall silent. His curls are beautifully draped over his face, and you can't stop watching his tiny expressions. An eye squint. A purse of the lips. A bite to the inside of his cheek. You want to blame your bad night or the emotions, but you can't. There's something more there. Something that's been brewing beneath the surface since he came into your classroom. Something that will kill you if you don't act on it.

You let your hands come up from your sides and tentatively brush against his waist as you stare at him, waiting for him to say something, but he doesn't. He just stares down at your lips, and the hands on your shoulders slowly move across your skin and up your collarbone— leaving goosebumps in his wake— until his hands are on your jaw and your pulse is thrumming against his palm. You pull him closer by his belt loops, and he doesn't hesitate to crowd your space, pushing you into the side of his truck with his body. His lips ghost over yours, just barely touching, and his nose bumps yours. 

"This is a bad idea," you breathe, tightening your hold on him. He nods and presses his forehead against yours. He's still close enough to breathe the same air as him, but the distance feels like miles. You lean forward a fraction as a test, and he doesn't move. If anything, he seems annoyed you didn't kiss him.

"D'you want to stop?" He asks, sounding just as breathless as you feel. You shake your head and swallow hard when he brushes the hair off your shoulder, and you can feel his heavy hand holding you. Your hands skate over his ribs, feeling muscles and a crazed heartbeat, and his jaw clenches. "Then you better do somethin' cause you've been drivin' me fuckin' crazy for weeks." 

Finally, you catch his lips with yours. He tastes like nicotine and smoke, and you know it's going to take a lot more than patches to get you to want to stop doing this. It's gentle and sweet, all relieved sighs and shy touches until you pull away for just a second to second-guess yourself or ask him something. You don't even start to form the words before he's back on you with more fervor. Suddenly, it's like he's everywhere but not nearly close enough. He nibbles at your bottom lip and tests a hand on your sternum, long fingers grazing your throat. The metal of the truck digs into your back, but you stop caring when a little moan slips from his lips when you pull him closer.

This is a bad idea. A horrible one. A bad habit you're gonna need to kick. 

But he might just be your favorite bad idea so far.

TAGLIST: @abbyhaslongshorts @kiwiharrykiwi @sumsworldz @myloveistoolittle @anavatazes @marantha @cosmoscoffeee @shyminnie07 @beezusvreeland @eddiemunsonsbedroom @harriedandharassed @doodlebob-mp3 @ignorethisplz2004 @buckyispunk

[moved-to-shijieswife]

now see lwj is really all that because hes somehow so normal while also being completely unhinged. only a real king could do that. sure, hes the most normal outta the mxtx tops, but also that rlly isnt hard to do, and hes still a FREAK.

this man kissed wwx blindfolded and then killed an entire lineage of trees out of shame and horniness. he didnt spend the thirteen years pining away or plotting for wwx to come back somehow. he didnt spend years avenging wwx, and instead raised wwxs radish with wwxs values, honoured wwxs memory by teaching the new generation to be just and fair, to think outside the box. when wwx came back he was Not Letting Him Go, and dragged him back to gusu kicking and screaming. he never expected wwx to love him back, and dint take him with the expectation that he would.

like, yeah he kidnapped wwx, but hed NEVER keep him in gusu against his will, and that is what is so amazing abt lwj !

[proshippers-against-censorship]

Yeah i guess Its true i think you dint understand my question? I was talking about a serious case of someone enjoying having incestous thoughts with their family members...

Like a father having thoughts with his daughter, its ok as long he doesn't do anything? I dont understand this logic

No, I understood completely. So long as he doesn't act on his thoughts, he isn't doing anything wrong, no matter how much he thinks about having a sexual relationship with his daughter.

I can think really hard and excitedly about killing my old english teacher, but if I don't act on those thoughts I didn't do anything wrong and could not be prosecuted in any way. Incestuoud thoughts are the same concept.

Thought crimes aren't real, no matter the thought.

[stormblessed95]

I love how people are so threatened and deep down believe that km are not dating too esp jikookers, that there is just no discussion about it or why they dont belive the antis, bc you all dont have any reasoning or explanation of blind faith belief that there is something between them even if they are not dating or are real good friends(i just think they are good friends not really that deep/special thing) he dint even know his music shows perf during face ended, bingewatched content bc wasn't updated on the content and jm's schedule unlike hobi and suga who knew which is why he also on fallon stated that he is closer to hobi and suga. the only reason why I think this is bc your avoidance of not even answering one thing and just pointing out that you don't agree, is because none of the km blogs is saying anything more like brushing it under the carpet to continue your fantasies.

OR motherfuxker, I am BUSY and don't enjoy making posts when I'm DEMANDED to. Believe whatever you want, I don't care. Wish I could say the same for you, but clearly you care VERY DEEPLY about me and my opinions, otherwise you wouldn't be in my inbox like this.

To everyone who wants my opinions and ISNT being an ass about it, thank you. I have a draft started and am working on it whenever I have some free time. I am just busy being a mother, a wife, prepping to start work again soon and have been invited to some author events I'm also trying to get ready for. And some posts require more from me than a few sentences. I know most of you understand. Thanks again.

[waitmyturtles]

SOME GOOD SHOWS THAT I LIKED IN 2023! (AND SOME THAT I DIDN'T)

I watched A LOT of stuff that did not originally air in 2023 by dint of my Old GMMTV Challenge. This list is inclusive of this recognition!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: HE'S COMING TO ME

I have no other words: this is my favorite Thai BL of all time. Perfect length, perfect plot, perfect celebration of Thai culture, perfect acting, the greatest coming out scene of all time, the BEST of the best BL moms. Perfection.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THIS YEAR: BAD BUDDY

I don't even want to think about how many words I've written on Bad Buddy this year, but they're well deserved for this REMARKABLE show. I've got a thing for shows by Aof Noppharnach that feature Ohm Pawat, what can I say!

THE MOST INFLUENTIAL SHOW(S) I WATCHED THIS YEAR: LOVE SICK AND SOTUS

The influence of Love Sick and SOTUS can be seen in SO MANY Thai BLs, even through today. Without having watched these two shows to start my OGMMTVC project, I wouldn't have the context for what later shows like Bad Buddy and Theory of Love were commenting on by way of their content and structures. Love Sick in particular was a HELL of a lift -- but I am damn glad I watched it, and I certainly feel nostalgia for it today.

Honorable mentions of influential pieces that had impacts on Thai BLs: Love of Siam and Dew the Movie

MY OTHER FAVORITE OLD SHOWS I WATCHED: UNTIL WE MEET AGAIN AND THEORY OF LOVE

BANGERS!!!

If New Siwaj ever tops Until We Meet Again, I'll fly to Bangkok and give him a gold medal. That long-ass show, 17 EPISODES, I WANTED MORE! OhmFluke's chemistry was great, the story delved SO deeply into historical homophobia and how culture and acceptance changes over time -- scrumptious. Theory of Love, man, the way this show ate up implicit compassion bias and gave it right back to us. I loved it. KHAI FOREVER!

THE BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: MOONLIGHT CHICKEN

Not only was Moonlight Chicken my first real live fandom experience on Tumblr, it was a hell of an amazing show, incorporating so much of what I love particularly about Thai BLs, and how many Thai BLs do not shy away from celebrating Asian cultural touchpoints. From exploring Jim's internalized homophobia by way of his rural upbringing, to juxtaposing Pattaya's spiritual symbols with growing development that upends older strains of local culture, Moonlight Chicken offered a lovely commentary on what it means to be queer in an ever-changing Thailand.

THE OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: WHAT DID YOU EAT YESTERDAY?/KINOU NANI TABETA? SEASON 2

BRILLIANTLY ACTED by literally the best actors in the Asian BL game: we are blessed that Nishijima Hidetoshi and Uchino Seiyou have given so much to this franchise. It's hard to write about this show because it's so perfect -- it needs no extraneous words. Plot, pacing, acting, character development, gratuitous food shots. It has it all.

THE OTHER OTHER BEST SHOW I WATCHED THAT ACTUALLY AIRED IN 2023: I CANNOT REACH YOU

Just like Bad Buddy looked at Thai BL tropes in the eye and said, "over my Nong Nao," I Cannot Reach You asked Japanese BLs about the efficacy of almost every trope we've gotten used to, and questioned them with efficiency. The biggest shocker for me? REAL COMMUNICATION, encouraged by the CIPHER, Hosaka, that allowed the two lead protagonists to confirm their love and understand each other. It was straightforward and FUCKING GOOD.

A SHOW THAT AIRED IN 2023 THAT I HAVEN'T WRITTEN ABOUT YET, THAT I NEED TO REWATCH IN CHRONOLOGY, THAT ALSO DID SOME TROPE/GENRE ASS-KICKING THAT I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT: LA PLUIE

La Pluie was FEARLESS. The show had a LOT to say about romance and soulmates not being as much of a realistic thing as content-makers... and, frankly, majority society would like us to think. La Pluie made its characters WORK for love and understanding, and had us viewers face our implicit biases about how romantic content should and could work. I watched this show out of order of the OGMMTVC watchlist to see it it was one of the best of the year, and it certainly is. I'm planning a deep rewatch for early 2024 to pen my words on it.

A SHOW THAT ALMOST TOPPED MY 2023 LIST BUT GOT DOCKED BECAUSE I ENDED UP LIKING THE NOVEL A LOT BETTER: I FEEL YOU LINGER IN THE AIR

@neuroticbookworm and @lurkingshan know that I flipped THA FUCK out over this show -- FABULOUSLY acted by Nonkul Chanon and Bright Rapheephong, FABULOUS cinematography, great story up until the end of the series. My fangirling led me to read the original novel by Violet Rain, and -- I found out that Jom was a lot more damn sassy than we got in the show! Tee Bundit's penchant for sadness won. This is not to dock the show, but the novel had more than enough material to carry the series through without repeating themes in the end. So it fell on my 2023 list, womp womp. BUT I STILL LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS SHOW, DON'T GET ME WRONG.

TWO SHOWS THAT I'M SUPER GLAD I CAUGHT UP WITH WHILE THEY WERE AIRING: THE EIGHTH SENSE AND BE MY FAVORITE

Be My Favorite looked at Krist Perawat's checkered past as a BL idol and said: we are going to examine this and make an honest BL out of inspiration from it. It wasn't a perfect show, the time travel shit didn't end up adding up in the end, BUT -- excellent acting from two GMMTV VETS made up for those tangles, and I loved the contextual philosophical references throughout the series. The Eighth Sense looked at the tug-of-war that Korean BLs have with K-dramas and their tropes and said, actually? We will have these dudes full-frontal kiss, and placed that energy against commentaries on mental health, both topics that Korea hasn't quite embraced as quickly as other countries.

HONORABLE MENTIONS OF OTHER AWESOME SHOWS THAT MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE AIRED IN 2023

Make It Right, Our Dating Sim, Dark Blue Kiss, Gay OK Bangkok, Dirty Laundry, 10 Years Ticket, I Told Sunset About You, I Promised You the Moon, 3 Will Be Free, Lovely Writer (underrated?!), Our Skyy 2 x Bad Buddy x A Tale of Thousand Stars (UNDERRATED!), and Manner of Death.

And the shows that are airing that I know will stay with me well into 2024: Last Twilight and Cherry Magic Thailand.

I had fun!

WHAT ELSE, WHAT ELSE: THE "NO" SHOWS: THE PROMISE AND STEP BY STEP

I'm not even hyperlinking my thoughts on these shows, nor gifting them with gifs. Insert Bugs Bunny NOOOOOO gif here! We got Man Trisanu, though.

THE SHOW I WAS THE MOST OBVIOUSLY DISAPPOINTED BY: ONLY FRIENDS

Despite my passionate disappointment for this show and how it ended: in the context of the OGMMTVC, Only Friends is still an incredibly important inclusion to the list. Some amazing Tumblr bloggers offered commentary that the bias against sex that OF contained within the show was actually importantly and culturally contextual to the still-conservative state of acceptance that Thailand is currently in (here and here for more reading).

Only Friends reminded us that despite any kind of marketing that we here on Tumblr, as a majority non-Thai audience, may receive about a Thai show -- that we are still not fully plugged into the non-verbal expectations of what a show like OF could promise to do, and to be okay when it doesn't reach those heights. In light of the seemingly pro-sex marketing blasts that previewed the series before its airing, OF ultimately seemed to want to take casual sex, chew it up, and spit it out. There might be reasons why that happened that we just don't know about as outsiders to Thailand. But as an Asian-American viewer that was hoping for neutral -- and maybe even supportive -- commentary on single folks having casual sex without judgement, OF did not deliver for me.

I'm ending the year reading Dr. Thomas Baudinette's book, Boys Love Media in Thailand, the first book-length ethnographic study on the impact of BL on queerness, media, and more in Thailand and across Asia. Baudinette comes from the world of Japanese queer media studies -- as someone who came to Thai BLs this year from Japanese BLs, I appreciate his trajectory. It's clearly a necessity for me to read this book in the context of the OGMMTVC, to understand how Thai BLs have changed over time, and to understand the incredibly larger impact of heterosexual/heteronormative media and themes on Thai media as a whole, as larger and larger swaths of Thai, Asian, and international societies welcome and watch BLs with open arms.

All of this feeds into my ever-growing body of knowledge about the impact of Thai BLs, both in Thailand and across Asia, as Baudinette writes about, and how these shows have and are developed/developing over time. It's been an AMAZING YEAR of watching old and new dramas for me, and I'm looking forward to seeing how the genre grows even more in 2024.

I also made AMAZING FRIENDS on Tumblr -- y'all know who you are! What a year of growth and discovery for me: this has been a fabulous experience, and I'm looking forward to even more growth in the new year!

[tyrantisterror]

I'm still thinking about that fucking poor excuse of a villain song from Wish, and, like... ok so I'm thinking of two similar villain songs that feel like they're essentially doing the same thing but land a lot better with me and trying to reason out why that is, but it's almost midnight after an exhausting day at work and I don't know how well I can do that, but what the hell let's try anyway.

Ok, so, looking at The Cursed Object first, I think what it's trying to do is a humorous juxtaposition of an upbeat pop song with dark lyrics, to show the villain thinks of himself as a lovable hero while he's actually a piece of shit. We're supposed to see how the villain is a vain, self-centered monster who's willing to sacrifice anyone and everyone necessary to keep and/or increase his power, all while painting himself as a hero for doing so. I don't think it succeeds in this aim, but that's what it's trying to do, right?

When trying to think of songs that were similar, my first thought was "No One But You" from Galavant, where Magdalena, a damsel-in-distress who slowly turns into an evil queen over the course of the first season, has a bunch of conversations with her own ego via reflections of herself in mirrors, just like King Chris Pine up there. Magdalena also posits herself as the hero of her story, a woman who's faced a great deal of stress and discomfort and ultimately can't rely on anyone to save her except herself - No One But Her can solve the problems she faces. She genuinely views herself as the hero, as much as she can view anyone as a hero anyway, and the world as an enemy to be defeated, suppressed, and destroyed if necessary. And I think it works because, despite the jokes the scene is filled with, it's very clear Magdalena is a genuine threat. She's taken seriously by the scene in a way that King Chris Pine isn't - there's genuine menace here.

But perhaps I'm getting this wrong - I haven't seen Wish, and maybe King Chris Pine isn't meant to be a serious villain, but rather a comic one. His number definitely seems to rely on comedy way more, so maybe I need another angle.

Let's look at a different Galavant villain and a different villain song to go with him - "She'll Be Mine" by King Richard. King Richard is explicitly a humorous villain, a bumbling oaf who's only deadly because the feudal system decided to give him a ludicrous amount of power over people's lives by dint of his birth. He's an incompetent idiot with so much vaguely medieval fantasy land firepower at his disposal that he's actually more dangerous for it, because ultimately far more people pay for his incompetence than he ever does (in the first season, anyway). He's goofy and silly and not threatening on his own, but rather as a result of how his petulant whims will be carried out immediately and with excessive force, no matter how stupid they are.

All of that could apply to King Chris Pine from what I've gleaned from his villain song... but again, I feel it's done much more effectively with Richard's song here. It's a happy, upbeat song with wicked lyrics, just like "This Is the Thanks I Get," but the lyrics benefit from being, well... firstly, just better in general (the rhyme of "Job" and "Prob" in the Wish number causes me intense abdominal pain), but specifically by heightening the contrast of the evilness of the villain with the joyfulness of the song to a much more potent degree. The hilarious tonal disconnect between the words "I want to skewer him with swords and slowly twist them!" and the peppy way in which they're song is just delicious.

But I also think that, like with Magdalena's song, the real difference is that this song takes Richard's feelings and motivations seriously. Richard feels genuinely hurt by Galavant's very existence and how Magdalena holds Galavant in much higher esteem than him, and the song is focused on that thread. When Richard does describe his evil wishes, there's almost an innocence to it - "I'll get back to all my hobbies, like raising taxes and tormenting the poor!" - and then he switfly refocuses to his grievance with Galavant, as if he doesn't actually want to think about how his petty whims are cruel (because, as the story shows, once Richard actually thinks about his actions, he realizes they're awful and feels shame for them). He's always running away from self reflection to dwell in his grudge, and that's how he's able to stick to his villainous course while still viewing himself as in the right.

Meanwhile King Chris Pine's lyrics, in addition to just being bad ("I let you live here for free and don't even charge you rent" cool beans dude you just said the same thing twice), is so damn focused on his obvious character faults in a way that makes it clear the writers know he's a bad guy and want to relate that to the audience, but don't know how to do it without just having him say, "Yeah I'm an evil hypocrite." I don't feel I get a sense of his nuance, of how he justifies this to himself, from this song, not the way I do with Magdalena and Richard.

Though maybe I'm wrong! Maybe the difference is that I've watched Galavant several times, and can see how its songs relate to the inner workings of its characters because I have the rest of the series to point me in the right direction when analyzing them, whereas I'm just watching King Chris Pine's song in isolation without the context of the rest of the movie. Maybe to give it a truly fair shake I need to watch the whole movie.

I mean, I won't. It looks boring. But if I cared about making a good analysis, I probably would.

I don't though.

These are the posts you make when it's midnight and you're very sleep deprived.

[veescorneroftheworld]

Awkward - Quinn Hughes x Reader

Synopsis ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ The beginning, middle and end of reader's happiness.

Warnings ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ really short, Angsty-ish, use of y/n, sad Quinny

Authors note ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆this was kinda fun to write and it's VERY loosely based off of a situationship that recently VERY abruptly ended bc he's an ✨️asshole✨️ so yeah....also lmk if you want a Pt. 2!!

Taglist ⋆✴︎˚｡⋆ nobody yet!

Quinn thought you were gorgeous. Beyond gorgeous, even. The first time he talked to you he thought you were too cool for him, and he still does. But not the same way.

You were are perfect for him. Did he see that? Yes. Is he an idiot? Also yes.

You guys made it past the talking stage, which how Quinn Hughes was your first 'successful' talking stage, you'll never know. Making it past the talking stage was unusual for you especially since you hadn't ever even had one, to be honest.

The talking stage with Quinn was nice but for a while you were bored of just talking. You wanted to get coffee or lunch with him. You wanted to go to the mall randomly with him because you were both bored. You wanted more.

Quinn loved talking to you but wanted more too. He finally asked you to lunch after a whole 4 WEEKS just texting. Of course you said yes because who wouldn't want to go out with their favorite hockey player, let alone the one they're completely infatuated with.

Once you guys went out you were both having an amazing time. You'd even go far enough as to say you were falling for him after one lunch.

He decided different though.

"Hey..." he mumbled, trying to get your attention "can- can we talk?"

You looked at him confused "We already are, Quinn..."

"I- I know but this is more...important" he sounded almost...guilty?

"Quinn, what's going on? Talk to me."

"I-...I don't think this is a good idea..."

You looked even more puzzled "I- what do you mean?"

"I mean...this....us...I don't think it's good to continue" he said almost quiet enough you couldn't hear it.

You had tears forming as you spoke "Quinn....what do you mean?"

"If we dated...we'd needed see each other and I don't want to do that to you...you're so amazing and I wish we could do this but I don't want to hurt you more"

"I.... I thought we had something..." you mumbled sadly.

"We did! We- we do...I just...I go on a lot of trips for work..."

"It's fine...it-it's fine. It's your choice...I respect it." You smiled weakly at him "my lunch break ends soon, I need to head back to work."

"Wait, pretty girl, hear me out-"

"Quinn, I liked you....a lot. Probably will for a long time...but you hurt me." You said bitterly before walking out to head back to work.

⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘⫘

You heard a knock at your front door later that night and went to open it to see Quinn standing there.

"H-hey..." he extended his arm to hand you the flowers he got you.

"What are these for?" You asked harshly.

"You...look, I'm sorry, I don't want things to be awkward between us...I'm so sorry, pretty girl." He said sincerely.

"But you dint take it back...you're just apologizing...?" You asked to clarify.

"Y-yeah..."

"It'll only be awkward if you make it awkward. Yeah, so what if I cried because I had real feeling for you....and I probably always will..."

"Oh....oh my God I'm so sorry...please forgive me"

"I do forgive you, Quinn....but what's done is done and I can't change the past. You made a decision and I respect it." You stated firmly but kindly. "But what you did was so....shitty. it hurt, quinn

"I know and I'm so so sorry, pretty girl....so...so...sorry. Please forgive me, Y/n, please. I'm so sorry" he pleaded quietly.

"Quinn..." You trailed off. "I said I forgive you and I accept you apology....but I'm over it already... "

[gffa]

I know you’ve said before that you view prequels!Anakin and clone wars!Anakin as separate characters, so I’m curious what your thoughts are on Ahsoka series!Anakin are? (This ask was sent by someone who has not watched any of the Ahsoka series, so if he hasn’t shown up enough for you to form an opinion feel free to save this for later)

Hm, I don't recall having said I saw prequels!Anakin and clone wars!Anakin as separate characters befoe, you might be thinking of someone else, or maybe you meant that I have struggled with reconciling the different properties with each other--though ultimately I usually manage to do so fairly well, as I do consider them the same character and each part of the bigger whole. The Ahsoka series!Anakin is hard to figure out how to blend in there, because I go back and forth on whether or not it really was Anakin or not, if it was a Force vision or Ahsoka projecting or truly Anakin himself, because each idea has such interesting and deliciously heartwrenching implications. But for the sake of this post specifically, let's say it's truly Anakin in the series--he fits perfectly well with how I see the character, even after his death, because the whole point of him showing up is that he was there for Ahsoka and her issues. This version of him isn't really about Anakin's story, it's about Ahsoka's story, and right then she needed him to represent both Anakin and Vader to her, to force her to confront her fears about what he became, her loss and fear that she could be responsible for more darkness in the galaxy, and her hurt that she wasn't sure she had anything to offer other than being a soldier. In the episode, Anakin says that she's more than just being a soldier, she's more than a legacy of death and war, because he's more than that. If this is truly Anakin, I love that for him, because being a Force Ghost is about truly letting go of all the shit you're holding onto in life, that you find balance within yourself again, that just by dint of how the Force and Force Ghosts work, Anakin has to have come to peace within himself about how he was more than just Vader, he was more than just death and destruction. He may wear his ROTS era clothing because that's what Ahsoka needed from him, he may not be glowing blue because this is in her mind not in the real world, he may be flickering back and forth with Vader because she needed that from him, but I have no problem seeing this version of Anakin as the same as this one:

Because the most selfless thing Anakin could do for Ahsoka was show up and help her confront her fears and deal with her issues. The most selfless thing he could say to her was: you're more than just this because, if I can be more than the monstrous things I did, you can be more than the mistakes you've made that are far less, because that's what she needed to hear. The most selfless thing he could do was dig into his own horrible past and say, yes, this happened, it's part of me and thus part of you, but you can heal from this, because I know you loved me and you weren't wrong to do so, you're not wrong to love someone even though they did so much wrong. She comes out of her vision with a new peace beginning to settle inside her and, given how much Anakin worked to drag himself out of the dark and let his attachments go, let his fears go, and embrace compassion for others again--it's a beautiful continuation of everything with Luke, with being willing to embrace compassion for the children who come after you, the ones you're meant to protect and teach and guide. Maybe it wasn't perfect, maybe there was still some sadness in him or fear of how she saw him, some crankiness that she wasn't learning the lessons he was trying to each, but ultimately I see him as being there entirely for her, not for his own closure, but for hers, because she needed him, so he was there for her.

[xiii-e]

for Xie i hop u have a good day

for Lio...

i read wut you said. im gald i dint make things worse. sometimes i do that by accident

i didnt know i could hate HA anymore than i already did. i know its how hard it is for a regular person to get through there stupid bullshit program first hand, so i can only imagine how hard it is when they bake that shit into ur jeans or whatever.

HA made me a monster. they trained me and they changed me 2 be 1. i talked about what an enkidu does to u last night on another post... they filled me up with so many stims i could barely think most of the time, and they yelled at me wen i did anything other than kill for them.

im still the monster they turned me into. my BATTLERAGE never left. when i go too long without TEARING shit apart with SLAG KITTY i start to lose it. the stinging in my head starts again and it gets itchy and angry in my head. i MAUL because i have to and its a part of waht i am.

but that isnt all i am anymore. since the fuckers left me 2 die better people helped me learn to be a person again. I hav friends now and i liek exploring places and i think grils r like really really really pretty... im a whole person and im not just the part me they made.

I think Xie will always be a medic. their instinct to help people and make them stop hurting is baked in. but ive seen other parts of them too and theyre parts i really like. i think those parts will grow. specially once you manage to get them out of ther. i know you already know this, but i think itll maybe help to know that some1 else knows it 2

[ECHO.EXE RUNNING]

◂▸ Hey Sally- Xie's doing better than they were, having some quiet time in their room. They had a rough dream over their nap, head's giving them trouble, but! They're doing better now. They say hi :]

◂▸ ... yeah, you're not wrong there kiddo. Programming and conditioning can fuck with anyones head, but part of why they do these high-control Projects with us flashclones in the first place is because it's just- easier. No outside experiences to influence your subject, no family or history just... whatever you designed, floating in a tube. It's more expensive to custom-build a soldier than to just use fascimiles or vulnerable citizenship, but the payoff is the control. 'Specially if you bake in some behavioural quirks that back up what you wanna do. A predisposition toward anxiety, for instance. Uncontrolled empathy. Aggression, in some of the earlier models.

◂▸ Remove the ability to play god and fuck with someones genes directly and- yeah, stims. That horror show the Enkidu puts you through. I'm sorry they did that to you kiddo, they had no fucking right to- you already know that too but, likewise. Someone else knows that too. I don't think you're a monster, I think you're dealing the best you can with a problem you never should have been forced to deal with. They made it so the only positive association you got for years, was with violence. Course that's gonna be near impossible to kick entirely.

◂▸ ... makes me real happy to hear you talk about the parts of yourself you found after you got out, kiddo. Sounds like you understand stuff better than a lot of folk out there, and that- that probably comes from experience. You happy out there? You mention people helped you learn to be a person, after HA abandoned you in the field, mention you have friends now. That's real good to hear about. People who get it make everything managable, I think. You're a good person to know, Sally- I'm real glad you and Xie got talking. I know they're happy bout it too.

◂▸ I- I really hope I can get them out of here, one day. That's the first challenge, isn't it? Hope I can be there to see who they find within themself, once the job isn't bleeding them dry. Hope you'll be there to see it too. They'll always be the kind of person to put their own needs last, always be succeptable to that guilt they've been wired with... but I think that'll be managable. Once they've got people who don't want to see them hurt. People who can actually do something about it.

◂▸ Thanks kiddo. Just let me know if you ever wanna talk, yeah? I've got some experience helping folk deal with the quirks conditioning can leave you with. You have anything along the lines of a chewtoy? Can help with minor aggression impulses sometimes, having something to tear at.

[ Helios-8 ]

//

[perdvivly]

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. And into the universe He poured a goodly portion of divine providence. Almost too much divine providence according to one particularly problematic angel. This angel’s name was Meaning. One day, Meaning and God decided to talk the problem through.

God: I hear you have a problem with my grand design. Is this true?

Meaning: It is. There is too much divine providence in this world.

God: Is that so? And how did you make that calculation?

Meaning: I looked into the world and I saw a deep facile beauty permeating the fine webs of connection between all things. I applaud the beauty of your design, of course, but perhaps we could do away with the facileness?

God: And how is it facile? It is not an easy beauty of shallow sort. The people in this world will be able to look quite deeply into it and see the beauty spiralling inwards, though, they will not have to look deeply to see the outer layers.

Meaning: See your phenomena, cast into their distinct types and each phenomenon acting only on each other phenomenon by type. This is the grounding of all deeper facile beauties in your world. A perfectly clockwork universe, and these mental stuffs you’ve made fitting so neatly into the material by dint of providence. It’s not right. It’s not… Fertile. The world is sterile in its deepest layers.

God: Ah, on the contrary my dear Meaning! The world is only facilely sterile. Like a pianist sitting at a pianola. Sure, the mental phenomena don’t affect the physical, and the physical phenomena don’t affect the mental. And sure, the pianist pressing the keys in perfect timing isn’t the cause of the music. But does that make the music any less beautiful or rich? Could a music theorist find any deep problem with the music on this account alone?

Meaning: An aesthete might, and isn’t this world for them?

God: For the aesthetes? Not in particular.

Meaning: For the thinking and feeling beings in the world!

God: Ah. It is. I suppose I got too caught up in the elegance of the world-design to consider that objection… What is that objection by the way?

Meaning: The objection is that this is an affront to sensibility of feeling. The pianist cannot know or hone their skill in world inhabited solely by pianolas. And in a world of complicated and terrible emotional content, sometimes—in order to legiblize the world to them—the individual needs things to be their fault. They need things to be bad; they need to hurt.

God: It sounds to me as though you see this problem as somewhat deeper than the material design. What are you really trying to get at?

Meaning: Well. See. You make all this good stuff happen. You make the music of the pianola beautiful. And it’s terribly nice to be surrounded by good stuff. But people get… Sick. They get hungry for the bad stuff. They want salt in the wound. They want noise! Not this cloying melody all the time, I mean, real noise. The harsh stuff. The real good stuff.

God: I will not make a discordant world.

Meaning: I’m not asking for a discordant world. I’m asking for a malleable world. Full of risk and consequence and… Me. There aren’t powerful emotions without me. Humans would be forced to live in a chokingly narrow spectrum of their full range. Can’t we give them more… Opportunity? Even if that opportunity means pain sometimes.

God: Then, my child, it shall be done.

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. And into the universe He poured a goodly portion of suffering. Almost too much suffering according to one particularly problematic angel. This angel’s name was Grace. One day, Grace and God decided to talk the problem through.

God: I hear you have a problem with my grand design. Is this true?

Grace: It is. There is too much suffering in this world.

God: Is that so? And how did you make that calculation?

Grace: I looked into the world and I saw a horrific cascade of needless pain permeating the fine webs of connection between all things. I applaud the beauty of your design, of course, but perhaps we could do away with the pain?

God: And how is the pain needless? It is not an arbitrary sort of pain. The pain people feel is in accordance with phenomena, which is mechanistic. The worlds of feeling and of fact intertwine into a great and terribly legible slate of suffering. You will experience hunger, yes, and hunger legiblises your relationship to consumption. You will experience illnesses and aches, yes, and these will legiblise your relationship to your autonomy. But you do not need to experience these to deeply know suffering. Friends will leave you and lovers will die, and this will hurt them, and this will hurt you, and you will know the world. If you could not know the world, you could not know beauty.

Grace: Frankly, Lord, this is not what I signed up for. And sophistry does not make suffering okay. Granted, that everything in your world means something, and means it deeply. Granted that all people will know deeply the significance of what they do and feel it so keenly it is as if it is in their bones. But that significance is always so terribly evil. You have not really succeeded in making anything more legible if the only way people can relate to the professed objects of lucidity is through pain. What about love? What about charity? What about me?

God: You would experience love through the absence of pain that the absence of love would provide. Surely it’s quite simple really?

Grace: Love is not apophatic! There is something there. Something really there! A truly undeniable thereness to its thereity.

God: What would you have me do?

Grace: I would have you break the universe each time a person hurt. And I would have you tell them it is okay. And I would have you make that true.

God: I will not break the universe.

Grace: Then I would ask that you do not totalise suffering. Let people acquire privilege and let them use that privilege to help each other. Let the lucidity of compassion be a driving force in human nature.

God: Then, my child, it shall be done.

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. And into the universe He poured a goodly portion of amnesty. Almost too much amnesty according to one particularly problematic angel. This angel’s name was Justice. One day, Justice and God decided to talk the problem through.

God: I hear you have a problem with my grand design. Is this true?

Justice: It is. There is too much injustice in this world.

God: Is that so? And how did you make that calculation?

Justice: I looked into the world and I saw a deep veneer of faux absolution permeating the fine webs of connection between all things. I applaud absolution, of course, but perhaps we could do away with the injustice?

God: And how is it an unjust world? People make choices, those choices have consequences. The webs of connection between cause and effect are subtle and it is difficult to see how they relate but they do. Always.

Justice: Yes. Well. That’s bullshit, isn’t it?

God: What?

Justice: Uh, that’s bullshit Lord?

God: You are far more laconic in your criticism than the other angels.

Justice: Right. So you say, everyone’s got a choice, right? And sure, everyone has a choice, but some people have way more choices than other people. Whether that’s by virtue of their wealth or privilege or social power or whatever. Not everybody can make the same choices. See how people die in starvation and famine. Isn’t it a bit of a dick move to say that they just made bad choices? There weren’t any choices made. The world robbed them of their agency and they suffered and they died. And sure, people who do well will say that they did well because of their choices, but that’s bullshit too isn’t it? They got lucky.

God: It is true that some people get lucky and others are unlucky. And it is true that people are often at the mercy of another’s will. Whether this turns out for good or ill is mostly a matter of serendipity for their part.

Justice: And you haven’t even bothered to metre out the serendipity evenly. The elite are secure and powerful. And their lives are good, and they have enough to eat. And their power becomes less diluted. And their power gives them access to more options, more choices. They can afford high-priced lawyers. They can afford live-in chefs, housekeepers, secretaries. They can get away with crimes. Their influence makes them untouchable. The poor and powerless are downtrodden. And their wretchedness becomes less diluted. They go hungry because they cannot afford food. Their hunger makes them ill. Their suffer their illness because they cannot afford medicine, they cannot afford time off work, and the stress exacerbates everything. It seems clear to me Lord, for whom you have made the world. And I must say, I don’t like that one bit.

God: What would you have me do?

Justice: Give them a drive, a motivation to fix injustice where it arises. Let them be angry. Let their anger be righteous!

God: That does not sound much like justice to me. But then again... You are Justice. So perhaps you are right. Then, my child, it shall be done.

In a beginning, though there had been many beginnings before, God made the universe. He had been getting it wrong a lot lately though. And instead of just one beginning He decided to run multiple universes concurrently and take some feedback from the inhabitants of each on what worked and what didn’t. A.E. Housman (professional stranger) just so happened to be in one such universe.

God: I know this might seem an odd question but, is the universe doing its thing properly?

Housman: What is the universe supposed to do? What’s a universe for?

God: It is here to provide sanctuary for all living, thinking, feeling beings.

Housman: And what does sanctuary involve?

God: It’s just like… Vibes, man. Can’t you meet me halfway here?

Housman: I don’t think the universe is doing a very good job. But before now, before speaking to you, I couldn’t have conceptualised it in those terms.

God: Could you say more?

Housman: I am stuck between anger, and sorrow, and love. I feel all of them so deeply it hurts. I thought this was my fault. Why have you done this? Is that sanctuary?

God: Like you, I am stuck between angels that I could not refuse. I hope you will forgive me.

Housman: This world happens to me, but it isn’t for me. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone it was for.

God: What would you have me do?

Housman: You want my honest opinion?

God: I do.

Housman: Too many cooks in the kitchens of heaven. Could you and your celestial comrades just like, fuck off please? I don’t think we’ll handle it very well on our own. But you haven’t been doing a very good job either.

God: Then

Go: I

G: Sh

:

In the beginning, there was a big bang.