#I WANT TO HAVE A CIVIL CONVERSATION WITH YOU

[captainmalewriter]

The 1000 Year Old Heart

Ch. 1

Deep in an unnamed cave somewhere in the Andes Mountains of South America, the HEARTS research team was in the middle of their latest expedition. Samuel, the historian of the team, read recently that some random backpackers had found wall paintings deep within the cave. After some initial research, it was discovered that these paintings had never been documented before. 

The discovery set the world of history academics on fire. Esmeralda, the team leader and archaeologist of HEARTS (and Sam’s wife) was bouncing off the walls when he shared the news. She had been dying for a good opportunity to use the last of her team’s research grant funds. Being the excitable woman she was, Esmi seized the golden opportunity as soon as she caught wind of the news. She expedited the paperwork processing and in just a few months, she was out in the Andes with her trusted colleagues and friends. Esmi was overjoyed to be back out on the field— especially with her beloved husband Sam right at her side. 

“Let’s GO, team! I’ve got a GREAT feeling about this cave!!” Esmi shouted as she went on ahead deeper into the cave. The rest of the HEARTS team sighed as they followed. After a week-long expedition, they started running out of steam. Esmi, on the other hand, was just raring to keep going. Even her husband Sam had to hurry up just to keep up with her high energy. 

“Hey Bebé, what do you think could be at the end of this cave?”

"Who knows! Maybe we'll find a mythical creature like a phoenix or something."

"C'mon, be serious," Sam said with a chuckle. "You know the supernatural doesn't actually exist."

“But I am serious! You never know what you could find in the depths of a cave like this. There could be an entire fairy civilization tucked away in here for all we know!”

“Yeah, yeah I guess so… Hey, uh, Esmi? I know it’s probably a bad time, but I was wondering if you’ve given our last conversation any thought since we talked. It’s been a couple of days now.”

“Huh? What conversation?”

“You know! The one about us hanging up our exploring boots and settling down to a quieter life—”

“Oh Sam,” Esmi groaned. Even though they were in a dimly lit cavern, Sam felt his wife rolling her eyes as she spoke. “I don’t wanna talk about that right now. We’re in the middle of an adventure!”

“I know I know! I was just curious if you’ve been thinking about it is all. We’re not in our early 20s anymore. We’re parents now! We can’t keep leaving to go exploring forever, you know.”

“I know that! I just think we can hold off this talk until we get back home. I want to enjoy this expedition without thinking too much about what if’s and maybe’s. Oh watch your step, amorcito.”

They reached a ledge. Esmi tossed a pebble into the dark pit. The thud came a couple seconds after. Nothing too steep, but they still needed to be careful climbing down. While Sam grew nervous just seeing the height, Esmi effortlessly scaled down the ragged slope like it was nothing. Sam watched her climb down with a glimmer of admiration in his eyes. In that moment, he was back in college.

It was at the school's gym where Sam first met Esmi. While he was struggling to get through his workout, Esmi was busy setting new records at the nearby climbing walls. Sam was immediately smitten by Esmi's beautiful smile and adventurous spirit. Being the shy type, Sam couldn't work up the nerve to introduce himself to his crush. But luckily, as fate would have it, they registered for the same advanced chemistry class that semester. Esmi struggled to get by in the class, and then Sam came to the rescue as her personal tutor. Although Sam was a bumbling mess, Esmi loved spending time with the awkward nerd. He was smart, funny, and so gosh darn cute whenever he got shy and flustered. Sam had a genuine quality that Esmi was very attracted to. It was something that a lot of men lacked. Too many of them were too self-absorbed and shallow. It made Sam stand out in Esmi's mind.

Soon after that semester ended, Sam finally made a move and asked Esmi out on an official date. Long story short: they hit it off incredibly well and became inseparable for the entirety of undergrad. They wound up graduating together with rings on their fingers. They then began exploring the world's secrets together, while also picking up a few new friends that would later make up HEARTS research team along the way. With careers they loved, a house in the suburbs to call their own, and a beautiful baby boy, life was going great for Mr. and Mrs. Benavides. Sam couldn't help but smile every time he reminisced (which was often). His frequent daydreaming was just another one of his quirks that Esmi found endearing about him.

"Okay everyone!" Esmi called out to the rest of HEARTS. "It's a short distance but the slope's insanely rocky. Just follow my directions and you'll be fine!"

Esmi verbally guided each member down to a safe landing. As always, Sam was the last one to make the trip. It took him longer to do things when it came to the physical part of adventuring. Sam tried his best not to slow down the team; not that Esmi really minded it, as she was always patient with him. She trusted him to get the job done despite his persistent nerves.

“There ya go!” Esmi said as she gave Sam a hand to steady himself. “You’re getting faster at this! I’m proud of you.”

“Thank you, I’ve got the best teacher a guy can ask for.”

The two adventurers shared a loving look with each other. They were still holding hands and there was only a small gap between them. They probably would’ve kissed too if the geologist of the team Harold didn’t start gagging audibly in their direction. 

“Oh my God, can y’all save the lovey-dovey shit for when you’re alone!? We got a job to do!!” Harold shouted. Esmi brushed off his annoyance with a chuckle.

“Alright alright, let’s keep moving.”

The HEARTS team continued trekking deeper and deeper into the cavern abyss through its many twists and turns. Their headlamps and flashlights were shining at max power just to keep their ragged pathway lit. Despite the ever-present danger, the HEARTS pressed on with their courageous leader Esmi leading the way. 

They eventually hit a dead end after some time. Unfortunately, there was no secret treasure or historical discovery waiting for them at the end of the cave. The team took the chance to catch their breaths while Sam photo-documented the cave walls for their research. 

“Is everything coming in clearly, Ruby?” Sam asked on the radio phone. 

“Crystal,” Ruby answered. Ruby was the brain of HEARTS. Although she usually stayed behind during expeditions, the team would be nothing without her technological know-how. 

“Perfect! Are we good to head out, Esmi?” 

Esmi didn’t answer. Instead, she kept staring at the empty rock wall that stopped their exploration. She reached out and felt around with the palm of her hand. She did this for several minutes without a word.

“Harold?” Esmi called out. “Does this rock wall seem unusually smooth to you? Almost like… it was sanded down.”

Harold walked up to the wall and placed his hands on the rock. 

“You’re right. It’s too smooth to be natural. Something’s wrong here.” 

The rest of HEARTS had a look for themselves too. As they marveled at how smooth and soft the rock was, Esmi came up with an idea: to push down the wall. The team joined their strength and with enough force, successfully toppled down the fake wall. Much to Esmi’s delight, they had found a hidden pathway.

“Hey team, the signal’s getting pretty weak. I don’t doubt it’s gonna cut out if you go even deeper. I won’t be able to send an SOS if something happens. Stay extra safe, okay?” Ruby advised. 

“Roger that, we’ll be quick,” Esmi said. She then led the charge into the narrow hallway. One by one, the members of HEARTS squeezed through until they all ended up in a small, dirty room. At the center of the dingy room was a small pedestal with a brown box on top. The box sat wide open, revealing a metallic human heart sitting inside of it.

“Is that it? All this spelunking in some unknown mountain cave just for some polished piece of silver?” Harold exclaimed. The annoyance in his voice was palpable in the tiny square room. 

“Don’t be like that, Harry! I know it’s been a long, tiring road but we finally did it! This could be the discovery of the CENTURY in our hands!! Hey babe, do you recognize it at all?”

“Hmm… No, at least not off the top of my head,” Sam answered. “I need my books for an in-depth analysis. We’ll have to take it back.”

“Okay, perfect!” Harold stepped up the podium and snatched the box. Esmi gasped as he did so. 

“Hey whoa whoa whoa! You can’t just do that!!” Esmi shouted.

“I just did. We were gonna take it back with us anyway, so what’s the problem? Let’s just get the fuck of this cave already!” 

“What the hell? What’s gotten into you today, Harry!?”

“Nothing! I just wanna go home already! I’m tired!!” 

A shouting match broke out between the exhausted Harold and overly zealous Esmi. Sam took a step back while the other HEARTS members tried breaking up the fight. Resolving conflicts was never Sam’s strong suit.

As he watched the yelling continue from afar, Sam noticed the silver heart Harold was carrying light up. There was dull, red light coming from the intricate carvings and grooves of the relic. It was mesmerizing to watch. It reminded Sam of Christmas decorations. He was about to call the team’s attention to it, but just before he could, one of the valves began pouring out luscious red smoke. The smoke piled up just behind Harold. Within seconds, the smoke gathered up and materialized into a muscular man who was heavily adorned with tattoos.

"Hey, who the fuck is that!?" Esmi shouted. She and the rest of HEARTS took several steps back. Unaware of the man's sudden appearance behind him, Harold simply looked at them with a confused expression.

"What's wrong? Why are you guys backing away all scared like that?"

They pointed at the man behind him. Harold turned his head slightly to look back.

“Hm? What the—”

It was too late for Harold. By the time his mind registered that there was someone behind him, the man with tattoos disintegrated back into a floating mass of scarlet smoke. It took advantage of Harold's surprised, agape mouth and shot straight into his throat.

"Aaagck!? Uuuughhhh!!!"

Harold let out a low, gagging groan as the red smoke forced its way inside of him. His eyes rolled to the back of his head as he convulsed uncontrollably. His shirt and pants became visibly too tight as his body became bloated with every gulp of smoke. An intricate spiderweb tattoo began forming on Harold's throat too. The pitch-black ink stood out harshly against Harold's pale skin. It looked like someone had scratched it on with a ball point pen. Awful, jagged, and hard to look at without wincing.

The rest of HEARTS watched in abject horror as a massive amount of ominous, red smoke filled their beloved friend and colleague.

Harold jolted his head back down once he finally swallowed all of the smoke. Aside from his now bloodshot eyes and new neck tattoo, Harold looked more or less the same on the outside.

Everyone stood still, not saying a word. The air had become tense. Sam swallowed a breath. It felt sharp in his throat as it went down. Something was deeply wrong.

"Everyone, get back!!" Esmi commanded the team. Her voice snapped them back to their senses. "Harry, try to stay calm and listen carefully to me. Some kind of entity just forced its way inside your body. Tell me: how do you feel right now? And are you in control of your movements?"

Harold lowered his gaze down to the ground. His eyes matched a baby deer in headlights. The corners of his lips curled into a slight frown. Then, once he finally opened his mouth to speak, his voice came out shaky and quivering.

"I can feel it..." Harold held a hand against his chest. "It's slithering around inside of me. It's—"

He cut himself short. Harold threw his hands up to his head, gripping his temples as he began screaming horrifically. Esmi ran to his side while the others maintained a safe distance.

"What's wrong!? What's happening?"

"IT'S HIM! HE'S SCREAMING INSIDE MY MIND!"

"Who's screaming!?"

"ALACAN! HE WANTS HIS PERFECT VESSEL! HE'S FURIOUS— AAAAAHHHH!!"

"This thing's getting aggressive! Hang on, I've got a plan!"

Esmi took a step back. She then pulled out what looked like an egg from her backpack. Sam recognized the object. It was one of the many supposedly supernatural items Esmi liked to play around with. Sam didn't understand how an egg could possibly help them, but in a dire situation, he was ready to put all his faith in a magical trump card. Esmi stood in front of Harold with the egg held high.

"This is gonna hurt like hell, but I promise it'll get whatever's inside of you out whether it likes it or not! Now hold still!!"

With all her force, Esmi slammed the egg onto the back of Harold's head. The eggshell shattered upon contact, covering Harold in egg yolk. The yolk then spontaneously combusted, engulfing Harold in bright white flames. Sam winced as he watched his friend flop onto the ground, writhing in agony like a worm drowning in salt. His blood-curdling shrieks echoed off the walls of the tiny cave chamber. Halfway through his screaming, Harold’s voice dropped several octaves. His voice became hoarse and demonic.

“AAAAHHHH-OWWWWW!! yOU fUcKINg bITcH! GeT AWaYY!!!”

Sam wasn’t sure what exactly happened next. He heard Harold screaming, but then suddenly he found himself lying face down on the ground in severe pain. The back of his head ached, and the scraped, bloody skin on his arms and face stung with the air. Had something pushed him away? Was it some kind of invisible telekinetic force field? Sam didn’t know, but what he did know was that he wasn’t the only one affected by the impact. The other members of HEARTS had been thrown to the wall too. However, while Sam struggled to pick himself back up through the pain, the others had already gotten up and joined Esmi in fighting off whatever entity was inside of Harold. 

They were fighting a losing battle. Harold had gone into a full-blown rampage. He was slashing away at them and himself like he had razor blades for fingers. Blood and ink splattered the area. Sam watched the violence with bated breath. His heart felt like it was ready to explode. He wanted to jump into the fray and stop the demon from hurting his loved ones. But at the same time, his mind and soul were screaming at him to run away as fast as he could. Get away from the monster before he gets hurt too. Sam stood there, paralyzed by an impossible decision. It wasn’t until he heard his wife’s voice that he came back to his senses.

Run!

Sam looked up. His eyes locked onto Esmi’s. His heart dropped at the sight of her bloodied face. Her mouth was moving, but Sam couldn’t hear her through the adrenaline pumping in his veins. Esmi strained her voice, shouting again and again until finally, her words reached him.

“RUN! RUN AWAY, SAM! SAVE YOURSELF BEFORE IT’S TOO LATE!!”

Without any hesitation, Sam turned around and bolted out of there. The last thing he heard was the amalgamation of several screaming voices behind him. But even that sound was tuned out by him focusing on running at full speed. Sam ran with every last bit of energy he had in his body. He did not stop until he made it out of the cave and back to their campsite, where Ruby waited patiently for the team’s return. Needless to say she was flabbergasted when Sam came charging in by himself. She tended to his wounds while he took the time to catch his breath. 

“Are you okay? What happened back there, Sam?” Ruby asked. His eyes darted around wildly as he processed what he had just experienced. Although he had regained some of his composure, it still took him quite some time before he could finally speak again. 

“The cave collapsed…” Sam started. His voice came out flat and monotone. “They were crushed under the rubble... I-I had to get out there before I got caught too.” 

“Oh my God… Everyone’s gone?”

“Everyone’s gone… Everyone.”

Sam repeated that last sentence out loud several times. Like he was trying to convince himself as opposed to Ruby. Naturally, Ruby broke down in tears at the shocking and sudden loss of her close friends. Sam was devastated too, though he shed no tears for his face was locked in a thousand-yard stare. He had just lost the love of his life to a demon. It was a truth his mind couldn’t accept as reality. Sam had survived, but his soul had gotten killed in the process. 

…Over the course of the next 48 hours, Sam and Ruby gathered their belongings and returned to their research headquarters with essentially nothing to show for it. Nothing but tragedy anyway. Sam had fallen into a stoic silence. Although she was equally grief-stricken, Ruby took the initiative to report what had happened. She figured Sam just needed time to mentally recover after what he had endured firsthand. 

Once it was all said and done, Sam returned to his household— alone. He relieved the nanny from her duties, then sat in silence in the living room. The trauma from the past week weighed heavily on Sam’s body and mind. He took several deep breaths, trying to calm down, but to no avail. Sam rose from the couch and made his way to his son’s bedroom where Abel was sound asleep in his crib. The nanny had just tucked him in for the night. A slight smile cracked on Sam’s face. The sight of his baby boy sleeping peacefully was the only thing that gave him peace. 

He watched him sleep for a few minutes, then ran off to his bedroom when a sudden realization hit him like a pile of bricks. Sam rummaged through all of Esmi’s old stuff. She collected various paranormal things over the years as a personal hobby. Sam never really cared for the supernatural the way Esmi did. But after the violent encounter he had in the Andes, he had no choice but to believe now. He pulled an all-nighter as he studied everything he could through Esmi’s collections. By the time the next morning came, Sam had crafted two charmed necklaces designed to protect the wearer from supernatural harm. He designed the necklace charm specifically to resemble the accursed relic that brought him so much pain in hopes that it would grant extra protection against it. Sam was no expert craftsman by any means, but he hoped they would get the job done.

Sam donned one of the necklaces, then went to the nursery room with the other in hand. 

“There you go, mi cariñito…” Sam whispered as he carefully placed the other necklace around Abel’s neck. The eerie jewelry looked out of place on a 1-year-old baby, but Sam didn't care. He refused to take any chances. He knew he didn’t have the privilege of blissful ignorance anymore. There was no telling if/when another demonic entity would try to attack them. Sam shuddered at the thought. Abel cooed in his arms as he woke up. Sam shook off the bad thoughts and held his son close to his chest, their necklace charms almost touching. 

“Those evil demons took away Mamá, but they will never hurt our family ever again. I promise I’ll protect you no matter what, my sweet little Abel. Papá’s here, forever and always.”

[childrenofcain-if]

THE PLAGIARISM DISCOURSE

this is the final thing i’m going to say before i put a cap on this whole fiasco.

first of all, i should’ve come up with the citations sooner. i jumped the gun because the person in question accused me of plagiarizing “children of cain” and, since it is a story that is dear to me and that i worked very hard on, i immediately got defensive.

i think you can see that i was fixated on that a lot and got too protective over their integrity that i kept pushing the acknowledgement in the back of my priorities. that wasn’t nice of me to do at all.

now that i’ve had time to take a breather and clear my head, i want to apologize for being a smartass and not owning up to what i did wrong sooner. authors, big or small, should be given credit even if it’s a quote or a whole story. i got so caught up in defending my original work that i forgot to recognise the irony in the situation.

another reason why i got so heated up with this person was because of the whole “did you forget your meds again” comment, which is something that came off as demeaning and downright ableist. perhaps they didn’t mean it that way, but when i recently came to know that people have a whole ass discord server where they constantly are assholes to you, it didn’t exactly made me very happy to respond in the first place.

right now, i just want to get everything cleared up:

the image reference from the WLB chapter will be updated accordingly.

i have cited the chapter in the C scenario for TRB quote.

it’s probably too little too late, but i don’t think running away from this is gonna solve any of my problems, nor does it absolve me of my responsibilities as a fellow creator. either way, i want to just settle this here once and for all.

if you think i plagiarized anything else, i’ll be happy to clear it up. all i ask for you in the meantime is to reserve your judgement until you hear my explanation about them. i’m also sorry for being a jackass to a lot of people who were, rightfully, asking me to be civil because the conversation kept spiralling with more and more vitriol.

but i will reiterate, i haven’t, nor will i ever, plagiarize anything in ‘children of cain’. and this is a stance i’m not budging from.

that’s it for this conversation, thank you for reading.

[bisexualbrainrots]

a while ago I had an idea for a one-shot, sort of inspired by @ohithankyou's posts about lexie grey's confession to mark, and I just got to start writing it. it's 3rd person, tommy's pov (for the most of it)

so, here's a snippet, it's still in the works.

and yeah, tommy is NOT doing okay, he's a very unreliable narrator here.

It should be awkward, shouldn't it?

Tommy's standing outside on the porch, trying to convince himself to just knock, but it's getting harder. It's especially hard since he can hear the music and loud conversations taking place inside, and he fears he will ruin the atmosphere.

He squeezes the bag, This is stupid he thinks, they don't want me here.

He wants them to not want him here.

It would be much easier that way, if the resentment was still fresh in their brains and they could just shut him out, but it's been over 5 months and resentment is probably a thing from the past, at least for most of them. Resentment would be much easier than what Tommy has in mind: indifference, like he stopped existing entirely to them and there's no reason to remember him even. Yeah, that hurts more.

But I deserve it.

After what was probably 5 minutes but felt like 5 hours, he finally rang the doorbell, taking a few steps behind to make his presence less threatening.

A warm smile received him, the kind eyes of Sergeant Grant looking straight at him.

“Tommy! You made it” he wanted to believe this was all an act, that her warm arms pulling him into a hug were just a way to pretend, for her to be civil about this, and yet, he missed them.

Missed this.

Missed the way in which her arm, like right now, would drive him inside the new place the couple built for themselves, missed the little comments about what they were having to eat and drink, and missed the way in which Bobby would appear, a beer bottle in hand ready for him to drink accompanied by a big smile.

“I’m glad you could make it Tommy, I didn't know if you'd feel up to it”

The coldness of the bottle helped him to ground himself, to remind himself this was just a cordial invitation: he wasn't a priority.

“For you and Athena? Believe me I'd even fly into a hurricane again” a small smile appeared on his lips when the couple laughed, both holding onto each other with a love he always dreamed of.

A love he let himself lose.

He looked down at the big bag, suddenly nervous about what he had gotten them “I-I got you two this, as a housewarming gift” Bobby's fingers brushing against his as he took the bag felt like fire, like he was being burned and was being warned and reminded not to get too close again “You don't have to hang it anywhere it's just— you can even put it in the garage if you want”

Athena's eyebrow arched and looked at Bobby, a question in both of their minds as they took the Kraft paper covered rectangle out of the bag. Their reaction when the paper was ripped would've made a good video, the kind that spread throughout social media and even reached the news.

Their eyes were glued to the painting, sparkling as they took in the details: a faceless couple dancing around what looked like dusts of wind, with leafs and flowers around them. The piece had a warm palette, except for the couple: a combination of pink and purple. “A hurricane of love” read the post-it note attached to the corner, which made the couple gasp when Bobby took it out, revealing the signature.

“You made this?” Bobby's voice hitched, and Tommy hoped it was a good thing that the man's eyes were glistening.

He nodded, his cheeks feeling strangely warm, and fidgeted with his fingers “I took on painting after—” he stopped himself from talking, a lump in his throat that suddenly made it harder for him to keep going.

After I broke my own heart.

[henke-penke]

Slap Slap Revolution

Both Heather and Noah noticed Alejnadro's behavior in New York, and go about it in different way.

Noah becomes a bit more confrontational, I guess. Not antagonizing, just questions Alejnadro's friendly attitude toward the enemy team. (Like in canon but it actually goes somewhere). And like in canon, Alejandro will brush him off and say he's working an angle. Said angle being something Noah might've been able to figure out beforehand.

Meanwhile Heather becomes more pushy with Leshawna ("I know you see it too"). This, paired with some seemingly innocent comments from Alejandro, drives Leshawna up the wall and a fight breaks out. Only this time it's a verbal back and forth, which escalates to a physical back and forth.

Like in canon, Alejandro throws the game leading to Team Amazon's victory. And like in canon, Noah will comment on it, which is where it clicks for Eva.

Back on the plane, her and Noah have a meeting where they confirm to each other that yes, Alejandro is up to something, citing every observation they've made thus far.

And this, my friends, is out first elimination change. I don't know how DJ's rocking with his animal curse in this, but I do know that there's no way Lindsay would vote for someone who threw hands with Heather that doesn't make sense to me. So, DJ is eliminated and Leshawna stays.

The Am-AH-zon Race

Heather gets to be unhinged in this one, as a treat. Like she's not handling that fight with any sort of grace. And it is because of observing this that we get the first properly civil conversation between Courtney and Gwen. They're strangely sympathetic to Heather, but both agree to vote her off when they get the chance.

In economy, Lindsay and Leshawna have a conversation where Lindsay naively says she thought the fight was cool to which Leshawna will snap and say that it very much wasn't. She'll vent a bit about having been stressed out, which Lindsay will empathize with, referencing her own screaming at Heather back in season one. It ends with her giving the same pep-talk she gave DJ in canon.

(Leshawna will also mention something about wanting either herself, Heather, or Alejandro out of the game.)

Episode roughly plays out the same, just with unhinged Heather, less animosity toward Gwen because that was really weird, and Noah and Eva trying to be as discreet as possible while trying to figure out a plan on taking care of Alejandro.

Owen will still get left behind in the jingle, but it will be Eva going back for him. Alejandro might try and insist he do it but Eva hits him with that "I'll. Do. It." (let her be scary still)

I Can't Help Falling in Louvre

Team Amazon is in shambles. Sierra is upset at Cody for voting for her, but here she doesn't revert back to their old dynamic after his apology. Here, she stays mad at him. ("You'd think that after everything I've done for him he'd want to keep me around. I mean, hello! I could've helped him all the way to the finale!")

All in all there's just a bunch of tension running around.

Team Victory still goes to a tiebreaker, and Lindsay is the winner (as she should've have been in canon, also Heather is in the jury so yeet). Lindsay and Leshawna get to have a cute friendship moment at the elimination ceremony (Good luck, wish you could've stayed for longer, honestly I'm glad I don't have to be in this deathtrap any longer, etc)

Newf Kids On The Rock

It has finally clicked for Noah and Eva that they hold majority vote on their team. One small issue, every other member on their team likes Alejandro and they have the combined charisma of a wet paperbag. And unfortunately for them, the person currently crawling through the vent above them will not really help in that regard. Enter Heather !

She crawled up the vent like in canon. And meanwhile in first class, Courtney and Gwen are having their second civil conversation, rejoice. This one is a bit more tense, however, as it centers Duncan.

Back to the haters, Heather (who is only marginally calmer than before) will insist they team-up all three. Noah and Eva will hesitate and ask to think it over. Heather gives them to the end of the day.

All three teams make the relay, no "only the first two teams" bullshit.

Things seem to be going good until all hell breaks loose for Team Amazon. Courtney and Gwen, who've been dealing with tension all day, start arguing about who does and who doesn't have feelings for Duncan. Cody tries to defuse but they snap at him, Heather starts third-wheeling the argument just because, and Sierra is just watching like it's the most entertaining shit in the world ("omg watching it on TV is one thing but being there irl is SO much better!")

Team Chris takes the win (I don't think Lindsay could stomach kissing a cod. But, like she invited Tyler in the Amazon, Tyler will invite her to first class)

Noah and Eva turn down Heather's alliance offer.

Jamaica Me Sweat

Cody takes it upon himself to keep the team functional, starting with Sierra. They end up having a genuine conversation where Sierra apologises (ish she's not that self-aware yet) for crossing boundaries and they embark on the journey of bringing the team together, to varying levels of success.

Meanwhile, and in stark contrast, Team E-scope plus Owen are having fun ! Cute friendship moment because we all deserve it. However, sprinkled in here and there, are Noah and Eva trying to get the other two to catch the hints they're throwing about Alejandro being untrustworthy. These hints are not being caught. Instead Owen makes some big deal about how much he loves his friends, which is much appreciated by our emotionally constipated teenagers.

Plane crash. Both Owen and Izzy are carried away, but Owen is the one to be medically evacuated, and when Izzy comes back with the news Noah and Eva are both visibly upset. (And then in the background you see Alejandro subtly celebrating)

Alejandro sabotages the track and Lindsay is eliminated.

BUT befreo the episode ends, Courtney and Gwen apologize for the fight. Imma be real this scene would be hella awkward. Cute, but so awkward.

Fuck it,

World Tour but with Eva instead of Duncan !!!

Some plot points I conjured up while procrastinating my illustration

Eva ends up on Team Chris Is Really Really Really Really Hot.

She's almost immediately wary of Alejandro, but will write it off since she's not good with people, so it's likely just her reading into things wrong.

However, this changes in Germany, when Noah makes note of his own suspicions.

Owen is the one medically evacuated in Jamaica.

Team E-scope wins the challenge in London, and because there is no Duncan to capture, Team Amazon loses. And realistically, Heather would be voted out, sad but true

This means that Alejandro is in a bit of a situation, because Noah and Eva are both onto him and they along with Izzy have the majority vote on their team. (Which, they've technically had since day one, but Alejandro wasn't aware of their suspicions of him prior, he didn't see it as a threat)

His best strategy is then to take away that advantage. Because of his interaction with Izzy in the Paris episode, I'm going to say that Alejandro manages to convince her to vote herself, and Izzy leaves in Area 51.

Because of this Team Chris now has to stay on a winning streak where Eva and Noah will try their damn hardest to get Tyler to vote with them. Which will be a fucking task because he and Alejandro are friends.

And quickly for the Amazons. Because there's no Duncan, Courtney and Gwen can properly establish a friendship. Absolutely not without a handful of hiccups along the ride, but it'll be much more stable without him being there and they can actually talk out any issues they may have.

If we're rolling with the canon of Team Victory being eliminated in the first half of the season, then the players making the merge will be; Alejandro, Eva, Noah, Tyler, Courtney, Gwen, and Sierra (Cody is eliminated in Australia I have my reasons trust). Which means that with the addition of Blaineley, we get an f/f couple in the wedding challenge hell yeah !!

Oh and Eva makes final four because she's awesome like that

[nantokanarusaa]

Ao no Flag (SERIES FINALE SPOILERS!!)

Seriously, don’t read this if you are planning to read Ao no Flag. That being said, go read the manga now!!

Finally finished reading Ao no Flag and I have so many feelings. Non-coherent, rambly, messy feelings. I was looking at reactions online and what mainly boggles me about the reactions to the final 2 chapters is people being “how is Taichi suddenly gay??” My friend living on this big planet he never was (he’s bi). He most likely just realized it later in life. Did the events of his 3rd HS year help him figure it out? Heck yes. Is he suddenly bi? No.

Not all queer people pop out into this world and instantly know they are queer. Heck, it took me 23 years to figure that out. It’s not like Taichi instantly realized he likes Touma and started dating him. He knew Touma mattered to him somehow, but it took him multiple years to realize how, as evident by him maybe starting his relationship with Touma after 5 years when Touma contacted them all. He gained life experience and grew.

People go through a lot of learning, unlearning and growing. Especially if you are outside of societal expectations and norms. Taichi grew up learning to and wanting to blend in with society. “Be normal, don’t stand out too much”. Add to that low self-confidence and you feel stuck. Feel like there is only black and white. only one right answer to life. It can be very difficult to look out of this dark box, trust me, I had a tough time and sometimes still do. But it feels like Taichi thought and thought and pondered even back in high school and came to the decisions that he did.

And isn’t that what the series is about? growing as a person, making mistakes, learning, allowing yourself to be visible and vulnerable, and eventually, making choices, even if they don’t make sense to anyone else, and continuing to do so?

These two pages really hit me hard and I was wondering why. And then it hit me. This is possibly the happiest I’ve seen Taichi be since his childhood. Like genuinely happy. He’s reached max happiness points and is sharing those with Touma. He’s made his choices, and he’s happy. You can and are allowed to choose what or who makes you happy.

That’s all that matters.

[olenvasynyt]

I genuinely hate this fanbase. You guys enjoy not listening to others, declaring you have the moral high ground and now I have heard that a person has been DMing a few of my mutuals and trying to spread rumors and talk shit.

I have lost respect for so many people, including those I thought were my friends. This fanbase is pathetic and brings out the worst in people. I don’t know what to say besides fuck you.

[cerealbishh]

"As excited as I am to have everyone see Kathy Bates deliver another incredible performance, I'm excited for people to be introduced- who don't already know how incredible Skye is." (x)

"I am having the time of my life and Jason Ritter keeps me laughing more than any human being on the planet." (x)

[gordontheengineswifenirmal]

Ok so by purposely misgendering cisgender people, it doesn’t create the ‘understanding’ folks might hope. It only upsets more. Also, I was harassed in grade school - long before being trans was more acceptable. Folks called me trans n would harass me in school because I wore a wig. I’m NOT trans, n I don’t have an issue with anyone who is, as long as they respect me as well.

As for the aromantic part, when you’re younger, there’s often less life experience, and you are often more vulnerable, more susceptible to peer pressure. To be fair, there r some older folks who never grow out of it either (such as the Botox n plastic surgery crowd). However, for me - I dated (adults only - including some older men). I was married. I tried. It just didn’t quite fit. When I realised I didn’t need sex or romance, I grew more as well. I found I didn’t have to try to b sexy, or impress anyone. I could do as I enjoyed. If ppl didn’t like it, tough tiddlies. I had to learn to be more assertive over time. I was once very afraid to speak out. I had to learn in order to help keep the family safe. Aldi, for those who want to complain about me heritage - I never said I was full Indian. I’ve posted things that include me heritage, because I’m proud of it. I have occasionally said ‘because I’m Indian’ in general. I’m also Brit, n I’ve mentioned that too. But I’m not ONLY these things. I love when folks genuinely ask and want to know more. Civil conversations are engaging and fascinating. I like genuinely learning about others as well.

i see a lot of posts/asks calling out how difficult it is to be aro, ace or aroace and while those are absolutely 200% real and valid and i agree, i wanted to share some positivity too. last week i came out to my therapist as aroace and it was honestly so amazing. she said she heard it before but wasn't familiar and asked me to explain further, i did and she was like "oh yeah that makes sense" and didn't say anything along the lines of "but you can't know/you're too young/it's just a phase" and after hearing half my family say this stuff it was honestly so refreshing and such a big weight was lifted from my shoulders. so this is to say, don't give up!! there's always gonna be someone out there who will accept you, and when you find them it's gonna feel great. stay strong fellow aros and aces 💚💜 and remember to run over aphobes and antis with your car or just push them into traffic :D

remember! there are infinite joys along with the infinite sorrows!

[redysetdare]

I hate those posts like "this is about aromanticism, don't tag as ace or aroace!" as if aroaces aren't aro enough because of our asexuality, and non-SAM aces relating to aros is somehow a bad thing. Also some of the aroallo accounts are so quick to regurgitate ace discourse talking points because they think aces are erasing and oppressing aros, I hate that so much

Yeah, to an extent I can completely understand where people are coming from when asking this. I have similar issues with people tagging autism posts as ADHD because they show up in my feed because of the ADHD tag even though the post only mentions Autism. It can be frustrating to be looking for posts and get something completely different. But on the other hand...it feels like some people are taking the idea of these tags way too seriously. Tagging is a minimal issue in the grand scheme of things. Tagging does not actually derail a post as much as people act like it does. Tagging a post you reblogged does not make that post show up in the main tags. I understand that AroAllos do not want to have their personal experiences conflated as Asexuality because it can feel like erasure when you write a personal experience about you identity only to have it tagged as something that is not you identity. But also I don't think people realize how much overlap a lot of aromantic and asexual experiences have. Acting like they are so incredibly different and can't have any overlap is willful ignorance at best and malicious separatism at worse. And it's incredibly disheartening as an AroAce to see how many Aro people seem to have gotten comfortable and even feel justified in the low-key bigoted things they've said against aces and aroaces.

Some of the absolutely wild takes I've seen can range from "AroAces shouldn't post in the aromantic tag" to "Don't tag your post as aromantic if it doesn't mention aromanticism [aka doesn't mention an experience in which the viewer deems as an aromantic experience]" to literal straight up acephobia or aroacephobia and it's absolutely wild because as someone who exists in both tags I've seen this happening basically solely in aromantic tags.

It's genuinely wild to me how we even got to this point in the aspec community where people are arguing over tagging to the point of trying to exclude certain aros from the aro tag completely because they feel less seen as compared to others and act like it's the fault of those other aspecs that they are being oppressed.

I was someone who was around when the Aro and Ace communities were mostly a united force. Because when the entire world was against us we at least had each others back. half the problems people mentioned when it came to the reason to split the community so drastically were not problems I ever actually saw. Hell they still aren't problems I see. I'm not saying that it doesn't happen but I personally have not seen anyone assuming or saying that if you're aro you must also be ace, which makes me thing it's not actually as big of an issue as people seem to think it is. the aro and ace communities being united didn't mean that aromantic was a subsection of asexual, though I believe it'd be lying to ignore the split attractions model in the creation of the aromantic identity and how both the Aro and Ace identities as we know them today kind of emerged from that model.

As I said not too long ago: the separation of the aro and ace communities has done more harm than it's done help. We are making it easier for people to target us by splitting up the way we have. By making enemies out of fellow aspec people you give aphobes the space and comfort they need to start pushing us out again.

We are literally in the same boat. if that makes you upset then you can get on your own raft but you can't then demand everyone else get on their own rafts too or try to sink the ship that everyone else is on.

the tag discourse is stupid. there are more pressing issues to be upset about rather than tumblrs shit tagging system. This helps no one. If aroaces posting in the GENERAL AROMANTIC TAG upsets you THAT MUCH then you can literally go into the aroallo tag to find the content you want to see or better yet MAKE THE CONTENT YOU WANT TO SEE. If an asexual tagging a post they relate too with ace bugs you that much then fucking block them. it's not erasure when someone of a different sexuality feels represented by your post. If an aroace tagging a post as aromantic when you feel it is only about asexuality makes you that mad then you can literally block them. You cannot decide how someone should tag their posts because you personally do not know their experience. Grow the fuck up.

I'm rose repulsed. there are barely any spaces and posts about rose repulsed people in the main aspec tags. You want to know what I did? I made my own fucking space. i went to the romance and sex repulsed tags and posted there. I made posts about being repulsed. I have a fucking blog and a discord server centered around repulsed people. Yes it sucks when other people don't make content you like but that's when you have to accept you need to make it your damn self and not throw a fit over tags on tumblr dot com.

apologies for a long rant, If this ask was bait then congrats you got a rant out of me but also I think if people really want to block me over this instead of having a conversation like adults then so be it. Those who think this sort of exclusion is justified and correct are not people i want to be interacting with in the community. they are not people I want following me. I support AroAllos. I support all aromantic people. I understand where they are coming from in their pain. I do agree that they deserve more recognition because they often moralized to be morally bad for their existence and as a repulsed person NO IDENTITY should be viewed as inherently bad. I have no ill will towards AroAllos making posts about ther experience, they deserve to have their experience shared. But the way some people have been acting in the aromantic community is not acceptable and should be called out because at this rate some people are really toeing the line of the ace discourse that happened in like 2016 and as someone who went through that I REALLY don't want to see it repeat itself.

[yunmeng-jiang]

I'm trying really hard to like NMJ and sympathize with his character recently... I've had a fairly hostile view of him since pretty much the beginning, so it's difficult to turn that around, but I don't want to fall into the trap that I keep getting annoyed at other people in the fandom for falling into (stubbornly sticking to their initial interpretation of a character to the extent where they're not actually paying attention to the text, they're just blindly hating because they don't bother to dig any deeper than surface-level This Character Was Mean To My Blorbo)

[pigeonclaw]

I find it interesting how mothers are something of a theme in this arc. And especially how Nightheart and Frostpaw's relationships with their mothers have more or less flipped by the end of Thunder. Nightheart started out thinking that Sparkpelt couldn't love him properly because she was more concerned with what she wanted him to be, and is now slowly understanding that she does love him and wants what's best for him. Meanwhile Frostpaw started out thinking Curlfeather adored her and would always put her first, when it turns out that all along Curlfeather was primarily concerned with how she could manipulate and use Frostpaw to her own advantage. Sunbeam is caught somewhere in the middle, fully aware now of how hateful and devious Berryheart can be and, while opposing her, still loves and pities her. Her feelings are complicated. (And I like how they manage to portray how hard it is to have a parent you love but still must stand against.)

[send-up-my-heart-to-you]

Yeah so that’s what I meant just because ‘everyone’ hates them (terrorists organisations) doesn’t mean they stop, they still kill many and it’s okay if you don’t stand up for the victims because they aren’t ‘your people’ so then why do you and your people spread so much hate and use terrible words for people who stay neutral, those who don’t do or say anything from either side? As it was your logic to not say anything for people undergoing attacks other than the one in Palestine since it has nothing to do with you and there are apparently enough people to support and voice them, so is the case for non-islams regarding the current matter, I don’t get it why so much of double standards? Y’all can’t stop your own people then what are y’all expecting from others which okay is still fine but calling them really really terrible stuff, swearing at them, cursing them for not even saying a single thing, really? Why is everyone forced to have a say, maybe if your community showed the same amount of dedication to go against the terrorist organisation under the name of your religion, maybe just maybe it would have made a difference (if you’re wondering why I’m talking so much about muslim terrorists, it’s because the place I live in has had to go through ALOT because of them, I don’t talk of the others). I get it what is happening with Palestine is definitely wrong but why doesn’t this amount of care and consideration not happen for victims everywhere from everyone? Why then do you choose to stay neutral and not say anything and why we are forced to say something ? please make some sense.

babes, youre rambling. if its fine can you summarize it a bit? ill try to respond but like. youre throwing comeback after comeback. its kinda hard keping up??? im tired from exams n my attention span is low

it’s okay if you don’t stand up for the victims because they aren’t ‘your people’

see, i said theyre not my people as a clarification. bc im muslim, but i dont consider them to be muslim. that is separate from my reason as to why i dont talk about "muslim" attacks. my reason was because everyone knows those organizations are wrong, so theres no point in clarifying it.

why do you and your people spread so much hate and use terrible words for people who stay neutral, those who don’t do or say anything from either side?

i personally dont. not anymore. because after a lot of thought on it, i personally understood why people may not comment (e.g. for their safety). i no longer bear any hostilities to people who stay neutral. cant say anything anything on anyone else's behalf.

calling them really really terrible stuff, swearing at them, cursing them for not even saying a single thing, really? Why is everyone forced to have a say

same as i said before.

maybe if your community showed the same amount of dedication to go against the terrorist organisation under the name of your religion, maybe just maybe it would have made a difference

see, i really dont get what you mean by "your community". if you mean my (muslim majority) country, it literally has zero terrorists. literally. bc the police is so harsh, patriotism and loving peace is built into us from day one, men have to go thru military training, SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE they dont want anyone to align themselves with those terrorist ideals.

if you mean us as muslims, in islam its our job just to be pious and treat people well. yes, a tiny percentage end up terrible, but with 2 billion of us, if one percent is terrible its still going to be a large number. muslims mostly have the mindset of "let god deal with them" which is why you wont see many speaking up against terrorists

if youre talking about arabs as a whole, the issue is (and i can go into a whole rant about this) most of them have been fucked since the british n french messed with us like a hundred years ago. its why iraq is a mess, its why palestine-israel is a thing. i know youll wanna say "they can still speak against these organisations" but habibi, the arabs are so divided. they cant unite over anything. not even speaking up against israel, which is literally attacking an arab country, so how can you expect them to be able to speak up against muslim terror groups? (not excusing it, by the way, just i think this is the reason why)

by the way, they do speak against terrorist groups. the muslim brotherhood is designated a terrorist group by bahrain, egypt, russia, saudi arabia, the uae, and syria. only one of those isnt muslim majority + isis is designated a terrorist group by egypt, jordan, syria, the uae, kuwait, saudi arabia, iraq, tajikistan, kazakhstan, azerbaijan, and even AGHANISTAN OF ALL PLACES. i could name more but you get my point, i think

if you’re wondering why I’m talking so much about muslim terrorists, it’s because the place I live in has had to go through ALOT because of them

i understand. and i can tell youre really passionate about this. just a question anon, what exactly are you trying to say here? bc youre so full of emotion right now (maybe bc this is personal to you) that everythings coming out at once and its not rlly making sense.

would you mind telling me your thoughts in one or two sentences? like i can tell your mad abt this situation, but why? is it that you dont like the way arabs/muslims (please specify which instead of saying 'you people') react to "muslim" terrorist groups? or the whole thing about getting mad at those who stay neutral? itd rlly help me if you specified

[cameoutstruggling93]

🤪😵‍💫😤😡🤬☠️

[stonesandswords]

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[wavesoutbeingtossed]

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[straykats]

sometimes i entertain the thought of like. everything ending up okay and then i get even more scared and anxious and idk why