#GOD IT HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG
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me, finally getting to write my most anticipated chapter after 120,000 words:
(it won't be the next one i post though lmao sorry for the edging)
#atwlp#donnie x reader#rottmnt donnie#rottmnt#rottmnt donatello#rottmnt donnie x reader#donatello x reader#rise donnie x reader#rottmnt fanfiction#fanfiction#GOD IT HAS TAKEN ME SO LONG#IT RHYMES WITH EACH BEPISODE#if yall behave i might let them kiss#IF YOU BEHAVE#LOOKING AT YOU MORNING SUN#xoxo jk pooks
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Here’s the whole thing! (Including the bit of dialogue right before my canon divergence for context)
The End (?)
Original format ☞ (part 1) (part 2) (part 3) (part 4) (part 5)
#go for broke au#101 go for broke#james fitzjames#francis crozier#fitzier#the terror#the terror fanart#amc the terror#sir john franklin#edward little#henry dundas le vesconte#dundy le vesconte#thomas blanky#sir not appearing in this film#the terror amc#my drawings#do you like the color of my post?#i put it under a ‘read more’ so that i’m not hunted for sport#this behemoth has taken me eight months#and i did Not know how to draw the characters when i started#back in January#oh my god#long post
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For reasons to be expanded upon at a later date (because I love the little bits about Boothill and possible paranoia/betrayal canon gives us so very dearly HNGH) I think Boothill like... He won't let himself fall into disrepair or anything of course, but he reeeeeeeeeeally does not like letting other people poke around at his body. It's a necessary evil to him. He does whatever maintenance and repairs he can himself. He started out with a massive knowledge deficit, simply because he didn't really have any exposure to that kind of technology until he left Aeragan-Epharshal, but he's taught himself a lot since then, he worked really hard at it!
Anyway, the point being, Boothill generally isn't super trusting of people.
But I think he would come to make an exception for Himeko, since he trusts Dan Heng a lot, and Himeko is one of Dan Heng's once-in-a-lifetime dearly beloved companions.
Himeko is so unflappable, I don't think she would even bat an eye about anything he throws at her, either. Like she enters the Parlor Car one morning (she's always the first one up) and Boothill is already there, waiting for her.
"Mornin', Madam Navigator."
"Good morning, Mr. Boothill."
And despite the fact that he blatantly broke into the Express (Pom-Pom is NOT happy about this JDKSAJDSKL), Boothill tips his hat, greets her politely, and is nothing but respectful when he says he has a favor to ask of her. Except it won't stay a favor long, of course- he has every intention of paying it back.
Himeko never agrees to things blindly, but she does bring up that all the knowledge Boothill contributed during the Charmony Festival was essential to preventing the universe from being pulled into Ena's Dream. And they were able to hold onto the Jade Abacus because Boothill used Tiernan's burial relic to summon the Galaxy Rangers instead. The Astral Express owes him a debt of gratitude, and besides, he's a friend of Dan Heng's. Of course she'll try to help him.
Boothill fidgets a bit, quickly brushes off the thanks, and tells Himeko he's having a problem with error codes. He keeps getting the same one, seemingly at random times, but the darn thing has no obvious cause. Dan Heng mentioned Himeko had been the one to rebuild the Astral Express. He knows it ain't the same, but it's not like he's askin' for any major repairs or nothin'. He was wonderin' if she could just take a look, maybe offer him some insight, since she seems to be somethin' of a mechanical wonder.
So Himeko walks him back to a another car, where she goes to tinker with machines without them crowding her bedroom. It's all neatly laid out and organized, and it only takes a second for Himeko to locate some specific device with a long cord. Instead of plugging it in herself, she holds the end of it out to him, like an offer rather than a demand, and Boothill visibly relaxes a bit. He still eyes it just a little warily for a second, but he accepts and plugs it into the port on his side.
Himeko pulls up the list of all recent errors, and they really are all the same. Boothill has had multiple temperature alarms over the past couple of weeks since the Charmony Festival, and they know it's not the environment, because Penacony is mostly dreamscape and kept mild year-round. The long-forgotten natural deserts are too far away.
Boothill is staring from the corner of his one good eye, so Himeko turns the hologram to let him see what she's doing easier. They don't appear to be false alarms. His internal temperature spikes and then slowly lowers again, high enough that if it lasted it would eventually cause damage.
One option is for her to start rooting through personal data, figuring out what he was doing at the time of each code, and tracing cause and correlation.
Instead, Himeko reads out the timestamps, and asks Boothill if he minds sharing what was happening around him when it occured.
Two weeks ago: He and Dan Heng went to explore Dreamflux Reef and found a bar- nice place, good atmosphere. Woman runnin’ it was a doll. Boothill left fer not even two minutes to get them drinks (Dan Heng knows like nothin’ about liquor, Madam Navigator, can you believe this guy) and when he came back, someone had already stolen his seat and was hittin’ on Dan Heng! Dan Heng didn't even care, just shooed ‘em off. Boothill laughed and said not to let him get in his way if he wanted to meet someone. Dan Heng looked at him like he'd grown a second head. Why would he want to leave with someone else, when he came here to be with Boothill?
Twelve days ago: While laying low- er, just rustlin’ up some grub- in the Moment of Blue, Boothill passed Dan Heng with March and Caelus playin’ on the beach, buildin’ sandcastles and the like. When he passed by again almost two hours later, they were still out there, with Dan Heng pullin’ March through the water on her inner tube and Caelus hangin’ off the back of it. He swam so fast! You'd think he was part water snake or somethin’. He looked happier ‘n a cat in a sunbeam… He has a nice smile, doesn't he?
Eleven days ago: Boothill was killin’ time in Dreamflux Reef when he turned the corner down a shady alley and saw Dan Heng, surrounded by three men demandin’ “protection money.” None of ‘em stood a chance, they were all on the ground before Boothill even blinked! So cool! Boothill wants to see that spear of his closeup- Anyway, Dan Heng stepped on one of ‘em on his way out, hahaha! Boothill stepped on the same guy a second time as he hurried to catch up.
Eight days ago: Here on the Express, actually. Boothill had mentioned bein’ curious about the archives, and Dan Heng personally invited him.
(“I remember that day, I saw you in the hall.” “Was there any problem with the heating that day?” “No, none. I don't think the temperature has anything to do with these error codes. I have a different theory, keep going.” “If ya say so.”)
Boothill was fascinated by an entry on aeons, and from a single question he asked about Lan, the two of ‘em ended up talkin’ fer hours. About aeons and Paths and Emanators, Acheron and Self-Annihilators, the Sea of Nihility, Tiernan, the Nameless and the Galaxy Rangers, their burial relics and their customs. Dan Heng finally just started writin’ and editin’ the entries in real time, with Boothill pointin’ things out and tellin’ him what to add in. They were at it so late that Boothill ended up sleepin' on a couch in one of the cars.
He'd figured there had to be something to make Dan Heng chatty- he'd caught just a glimpse of it that first night they met, sittin’ at the bar in the Reverie together. He'll have to ask about the archives more often, if it gets him all revved up like that.
One week ago: After that night of energetic discussion, Dan Heng was apparently hyped up, because after he'd downed some of Himeko's coffee (“You had some too, right? What did you think of it?” “It was great, even better'n chewin’ bullets!” "Thank you! That was my newest brew, I can't wait for everyone else to try it.") he actually asked Boothill to go hunting with him. Boothill asked who their target was, and was surprised when Dan Heng pulled out photos that looked like they were from March's camera, of all things, instead of a bounty or wanted poster.
And as he sat there, studying these pictures, Dan Heng explained that he wanted to hunt down these specific memory zone memes to record them into the archives. Planets with so much memoria are a rarity, especially with the Stellaron's activity thrown into the mix, which has surely affected the local “wildlife.” He might not get another opportunity like this for a long time. And Boothill had talked last night about his extensive expertise in tracking and hunting, so he should have plenty to offer here, Dan Heng would like to learn from his experience and see how he does things!
And oh, Madam Navigator, by the time Dan Heng was done speakin', his eyes were practically sparklin'! Just lit up like the sun! Boothill could scarcely believe it! The two of them couldn't even wait another day, they set out that very morning. It had been a long, long while since Boothill had tracked someone- er, somethin’- without the intent to capture or kill. It was…actually really nice. Nostalgic, but in a good way. It might even have been his favorite day on Penacony…so…far…
Boothill trails off as a couple of realizations crash into him. All the temperature alarms he's spoken about thus far- they've all happened in the company of Dan Heng. And now that he's thinking about it, he's pretty sure even the ones he hasn't yet talked about were with him, too. Dan Heng has been responsible for all of his error codes, every. single. one.
The screen in front of Himeko suddenly refreshes to the top of the list, displaying a new notification for the current time. Alert! Core temperature above normal range.
Himeko's knowing smile is sly as a snake.
Wwwwwelp, would ya look at the time, Boothill has some errands to meet, people to run, y’know how it is, he should really get goin'-
“Oh, Mr. Boothill? About that favor.” And Boothill jolts to a stop in the doorway because fudge, he can't just leave without hearing her out. He'd given his word. He has no problem running out on someone he thinks deserves it, but Himeko really had been kind to him to try and help him out. Her voice is just as knowing as her smile, Boothill can't turn around to look at her, or else he knows he won't be able to disguise the sound of his cooling fans kicking on.
“Don't make Dan Heng wait too long, ok~?”
“Y-Yes, ma'am.”
#honkai star rail#henghill#bootheng#Himeko KNOWS abort mission abort!!!#I really love Himeko sorta looking after Boothill the same way she does her crew even if he's not one of them haha. She's so sweet with-#-Dan Heng. She really seems to adore him and wants him to be safe and happy. I think she would be so happy he's found a new friend!#She wants to help this happen!! So get to it Boothill!!!#Was yapping about this fic to Ray and she nearly fucking oneshotted me: 'It's especially funny because we've got a Vidyadhara and a cyborg-#'-they literally have all the time in the world. SHE's the one who wants to be around to see it happen akfbbsbd''#AND JUST. GOD. Himeko knowing that she won't outlive Dan Heng. She's only human. She can't compare to a Vidyadhara lifespan. So she wants-#-to make sure Dan Heng has as many people as possible. She wants to know he'll be taken care of and not be lonely even after she's gone.#Himeko wants to see this important moment in his life happen she wants to be around for it *sobbing*#I'd been wanting to write this for a long time though because for me henghill is all about the little moments. like. they talked so much-#-back and forth in 2.2. they spent so much time together. they get along shockingly well. Dan Heng could have gone almost anywhere to wait-#-for the trailblazer to wake up after defeating Sunday. And instead of anywhere else Dan Heng returned right to Boothill's side. Was still-#-hanging out with him at the Reverie's bar. Still just chattering away. The point is that these two have a strong friendship to build a-#-romance on! They enjoy each other's company! They like spending time together! And I love that! I want to see their mundane nights!!#They'd have such fun dates uweh... They go on a coffee date and miss Himeko's coffee haha#(fun story Boothill's dialogue about Himeko's coffee was originally going to be 'it was uh...an experience. ain't nothin' else like it in-#-the world.' 'thank you!' But then I read Boothill's parlor car dialogue and? it turns out he LOVES Himeko's coffee? go figure ajfldjas)#(afaik he and Dan Heng are literally the only ones. how cute is that haha)#hsr#boothill#himeko#dan heng#hsr boothill#hsr himeko#hsr dan heng#my fics
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I've been reading Exodus lately and I've just gotten to the portions where God gives the first commands to the people via Moses (twice), and then goes on to give detailed instructions about the tabernacle and how it should be built, and I'm just... we think art is unimportant?? we think things only mean as much as their functionality?? we so easily fall into the trap of believing that beauty means nothing, that it's cheap and only worth whatever mindless distraction it brings, that it's barely more than a cheap sensual thrill, that buildings should just be practical and plain and cheap, that everything should be functional but ultimately disposable, that paintings and dresses and mugs and curtains and carpets are just pretty but have no real value, that beauty is fleeting and vain and therefore shouldn't be thought about too much, if even looked for at all... we fall into these traps so easily, and we forget that there are chapters upon chapters of painstakingly detailed plans to build one portable worship tent, and those plans have been handed down through thousands of years of human history, because beauty and art and skill in craft is important
#I have to go get ready for work now but I will come back to this#and don't even get me started on the parts about God calling specific craftsmen *by name*#he called them!! by name!!! he said 'this man is good at his job. he creates beautiful work. he will build my temple and make it beautiful'#and even more--God inspired him!!!! it was a calling of GOD for him to create beautiful carvings and tapestries and candlesticks!!!#look even if you're not jewish or christian or religious at all you have GOT to see what it means that all these incredibly detailed plans#for building this tent-temple are extremely important#because even if you don't believe in God and don't think that this is all significant bc he personally gave the instructions#and then helped preserve this record of them so we could still read them today#you do have to see how important they were to the people of that time who first wrote them down#and the extreme care that was taken to record all of those detail#AND the fact that it's been preserved for so long and we can still read all the care that was put into creating this incredible piece#of artwork and worship they made#gurt says stuff#I just. gahhfhhfj. I'm feeling emotional about chapters of the Bible that I can't even fully force myself to pay attention to#bc there's so MUCH and I'm bad at visualizing this stuff and I tend to zone out while listening to it#but the fact that it IS that much!!! that there SO MUCH DETAIL and it goes on for SO LONG that I even struggle to pay attention!!!#that this was THAT IMPORTANT to the people who wrote it and to God!!! as an artist and someone who has always cared about art#this means so much to me ok#christianity#bible verse#bible thoughts#exodus#art#theology
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finally figured out a design for a character of mine who's actually fairly important after like four years of constantly changing her hairstyle... and now she can be on tumblr...
reblogs appreciated!
#oko#<-expect all my other art of her to be so very old#my art#digital art#my characters#art#lens little guys#art on tumblr#oc art#story: mulberry#there's so much stuff about mullberry's magic system that i just never talk about..... mostly because it's like 90% just set dressing...#also GOD SHE'S IN THE MAIN CAST HOW HAS IT TAKEN ME THIS LONG TO FINALIZE HER DESIGN#i'm so sorry oko you don't get riding boots anymore. you're not johnny cash
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HAPPY 17TH ANNIVERSARY TO THE SHOW THAT CHANGED MY LIFE!! 🎉🥳🎂
So maybe I'm a bit late to the party.. but that's not important 🤫🫶
#wordgirl#wordgirl fanart#pastrami sandwiches#art#digital art#becky botsford#captain huggyface#bob wordgirl#wordgirl pbs#pbs kids#EUGHH JESUS#fanart#IM COVERED IN BATTLE SCARS AND MY CLOTHES ARE RIPPED ALL OVER#HEY BABE IT TOOK ME SIXTEEN HOURS BUT YOUR WORDGIRL ANNIVERSARY FANART IS DONE#PASSES OUT ONTO FLOOR#sorry guys I'm a bit tired FR THOUGH i love this show so much and it's brought me so much joy in the past..?#four months?? has it really only been that long?#geez#I don't know if yall can tell#but this show means a lot to me#i really have had a genuinely awesome time being here in this fandom even if I've only been here for a little while#SDJH#SORRY IM MAKING THIS A LOT MORE SENTIMENTAL THAN IT HAS TO BE RN#but seriously this kids show is awesome you guys are awesome and I'm so happy to be here#ive been really wanting to say that for a while now#this should've only taken me like three days but because of school it took like five 😭#speaking of school I HAVE A TEST TO STUDY FOR OOOH GOD#HURRIEDLY RETREATS BACK INTO THE SHADOWS#BYE GUYS LOVE YALL!!#💖‼️
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Do you have any fucked up babscass headcanons? This is vaguely for the ask game but I’m curious. I’ve also had a vision of dick being drawn into their dubiously consensual mommy kink thing, probably unwillingly. I just love the idea of babs being her teacher for everything normal, like yes on some level it is grooming but cass knows everyone’s intentions automatically, could babs really make her do anything she didn’t want to do?
for the ask game!
GOD YES. i love BabsCass. just. so dearly. they're so fucked up. and adding Dick to the mix is *also* so so fun. the concepts of how consent plays into it all when Cass knows everyone's intentions and feelings (sometimes before they themselves do) but Babs still holding clear power over Cass and how vulnerable Cass is emotionally it's just. good soup i tell you.
so, i think it's fun, if in a way, Babs has always been slightly jealous of Bruce. after becoming Oracle by means out of her control, she works with other heroes sure, but she doesn't have a protege. she watched with Dick and Bruce, how close of a bond Batman and Robin is. how Bruce got to shape and mold Dick into the hero he's become and the reverence Dick has for Bruce. there's such a nuance to that relationship, and Babs wants it for herself. the first person to carry on the Batgirl torch is Helena, something she violently disapproves of. so for her to give Batgirl to Cass, that's significant. it's both a sign of acceptance, and a sign of ownership. it's basically her way of saying to Bruce "this one's mine." and thus, their relationship reflects it. because it's easy to seak out a close bond with Cass, who's never had anyone show her love and affection with no strings. Babs' love is unconditional. and Cass wants to bury herself in it. she knows it's romantic and possibly sexual, but Babs doesn't sexualize Cass the way men do. there's no leering comments or objectification. Babs is kind and respectful, so Cass doesn't mind. she even leans into it. there's something nice in being appreciate for something other than how good of a weapon she makes. and Babs' touch is just. something Cass craves. Babs wants to respect boundaries, but Cass is practically crawling into her lap after certain rough missions, just for the companionship.
i think it's fun if the mommy kink starts with Cass. sure, Babs has been carefully guiding Cass toward being comfortable with sexual things. Cass is regularly naked around Babs with no problem, she lets Babs touch her anywhere. but it's when Babs is holding Cass that Cass talks about how she doesn't know who her mother is and she wishes she knew what having a mother felt like. and sure, Cass knows that Babs isn't entirely motherly. not when her hand is resting inside of Cass' pants at that very moment. but this is the closest thing she has. i enjoy the idea of Cass knowing that this isn't normal. sure, she doesn't fully understand relationships, but she knows mother/daughter and dating are different. but it's a two birds one stone kind of thing. she's so convinced she's not going to find enough people to love her to fill all the "roles" in her life, why not combine the two. after all, Dick and Bruce are doing it. so when Cass brings it up, Babs lets Cass call her mommy. it's a soothing thing, more than a kink thing. and it delightfully plays into Babs' hand for how she wants to groom Cass, giving her more control and trust over Cass. it's easy to get Cass to side with her instead of Bruce when she just has to stroke Cass' hair and praise her whenever she does what Babs want. Cass is so used to negative reinforcement that she'll take any kind of positive reinforcement, even if she knows it's slightly manipulative. sometimes, what matters to her the most is just that someone wants to protect and take care of her in the first place.
i love the idea of Dick getting dragged in unwillingly so much. Cass has very high standards for what a mentor/partner/mother figure should look like because of how reverently Babs treats her. and Cass is known for being critical of Bruce's methods. so when Bruce is particularly cruel to Dick, or that have a nasty argument that Cass witnesses and Bruce possibly even hits Dick, that's when Dick gets dragged in. it starts with Babs inviting him to just eat dinner and chill out with Babs and Cass in the Clocktower. then he's being invited to stay the night more and more often so he doesn't have to crash at Wayne Manor when he's in Gotham. the first time he wakes up with Cass sleeping next to him, he doesn't comment on it. he knows what it's like to be so tired you just crash on the nearest bed. it's when he notices that he's being more and more separated from Bruce, that Dick starts to notice something is off. he's never commented on what's going on between Babs and Cass bc well, he's one to talk. but now he's caught between them. Cass and Babs don't even have to talk, they just wordlessly know they're on the same page about bringing Dick into the fold. for Cass, it's genuinely to protect him. she's happy with Babs, and she wants Dick to feel happy in that way too, with someone who's not as emotionally closed off as Bruce. and Cass just wants as many close relationships as she can get. and for Babs, there is genuine attraction there. she and Dick almost flirted with dating before, and nows her chance to have him and finally beat Bruce. and as unwilling as Dick is, it's hard to say no when they're being so gentle with him. he keeps telling himself he's going to set hard boundaries and tell them no, eventually. but Babs has the manipulation down pat, and Cass is so gentle and loving, Dick just gets swept in too deep. they both know he's unwillingly, but to Cass, that's just how love works. you have to be talked into it sometimes because you don't realize you deserve it.
Babs teaching Cass about sex my *beloved*. first, it's just Cass and Babs. Babs showing Cass how she can feel good, how she can make Babs feel good. but now with Dick, they have a whole new person for Babs to see to teach Cass about sex. Dick has to be talked into it by Babs, who paints it as a learning opportunity for Cass. I just. I love throuple dynamics where one person is basically being used as a toy for the dom to tell the third person to use, and that fits them so well. Dick is just a toy, a prop basically. and Babs is guiding Cass through it, teaching her how to make Dick feel good, how to ride him. I like the idea of Babs edging both of them until she feels like Cass has "learned" enough. which is clearly just part of the kink, corrupting Cass. and they all know it, but it's an unspoken thing. even more fun if Babs gives Cass some token form of control, letting Cass control when Dick can come. and to Cass, edging is a natural part of sex, so she also tortures Dick like that, bringing him to the edge and holding him there no matter how much he begs. sometimes, Dick just watches Cass and Babs have sex and learns what they like through that. he learns Babs is a sadist, but she has to be careful with it. Cass views pain strictly as a very negative punishment and the last thing Babs wants to do is lose the trust she has built up with Cass. so she avoids pain for the longest time. it's Dick who notices Babs itching to hurt someone, so to make sure it's not Cass, Dick offers himself. and Cass watches as Babs hurts Dick, and Dick *likes* it. maybe impact play, maybe some CBT, that sort of stuff, just testing the waters of how far Babs can take it with Dick. it makes Cass curious enough to try it, both sadism and masochism. she finds it takes a lot for her to enjoy masochism, but in the right applications, it's nice. there's something about letting herself feel pain, which she was never allowed before. pain is something to be compartmentalized and worked through. so there's something nice about turning her brain off and just feeling. especially if she's being hurt while she's in Babs or Dick's arms, bc she knows she's safe. both of them have become her safe space to explore new things during sex.
eventually, Dick comes to mostly accept being part of the relationship. he realizes he's in too deep when Cass casually calls him her boyfriend in front of Bruce just to make Bruce stutter. they're all adults, so it's not something Bruce can fight too hard. and Dick does have to admit, Cass has a point. there's far less arguing and fighting in this relationship. the grooming practically works better on Dick than it did Cass, bc now he's just accepted it and is going along with everything. he starts initiating sex, with either of them separately or together, just bc he likes giving up control to them. he likes the way Cass is gentle when she's domming, taking control from him without even asking and just taking care of him. and when Babs is in control, she's a little meaner, a bit rougher, but sometimes, he needs that too. sometimes he just likes to watch the two of them, see Cass call Babs mommy while she's crying and begging for anything. it's carnal and just fascinating to watch, even if he doesn't get off to it. seeing how much they love each other and how much they love him makes his head spin, because being with Bruce was nothing like this. Bruce rarely talks about his feelings, rarely said he loved Dick. meanwhile Cass and Babs will say it about a dozen times a day. maybe it's manipulative, but they make it sound so genuine, he can't bring himself to care. and Cass is pleased Dick is finally giving him, letting himself be loved. Babs is pleased to have control of both Dick and Cass. all of them are getting something out of it so really, what's there to complain about?
#necrotic festerings#ask game#dead dove do not eat#babscass#dickbabscass#dickbabs#dickcass#batcest#this throuple is ENLIGHTENED oh my god anon.#you're so right. dick getting dragged into their fucked up relationship is so good.#but god you're also so right about it definitely being grooming but also. Cass knowing Babs intentions and going with them anyway#like she'll do anything if someone will love her right.#she knows this is fucked up but Babs has such a gentle touch and kind words.#it's so good I tell you.#like I like *really* fucked up babscass#where Babs is forcing Cass to do things and Cass doesn't see any escape bc her only other option is her father#but this version is far more realistic yk?#also HOW are there only 9 fics in the BabsCass tag on ao3.#i've failed you all. I need to go add more.#I wanna write a BabsCass Omegaverse fic where alphas are seen as borderline animals.#there was a TimCass fick with that premise and it's lived rent free.#my kingdom for dehumanized alpha!Cass.#I also think brutim could fit well into this as well#like Bruce going to Tim bc dick was taken from him#and then Cass and Babs trying to steal Tim too. good soup.#this got so long.#I had to break up the text blocks bc it got so long Tumblr yelled at me. help.
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Hello!
If you're not too busy, would you mind listing some of the things you think count as death flags for Mr. Spender?
There's the obvious fact that he's the "old" mentor to group of young protagonists, but what else do you think would count?
OHH BOY ok so I'd think I'm a crackpot for this but since we're talking about Zack "Foreshadowing" Morrison. I have some thoughts
No harm in leading with the (chronologically) first thing that jumped out at me:
This one IMMEDIATELY made me antsy whenever I came back to it after my initial read, and considering Zack has referred to it on twitter in the past as one of their favorite jokes it's definitely not been forgotten about.
Second, the sheer amounts of near-misses, jokey or not, of Spender narrowly avoiding specifically lightning
Again, not much, but it's weird that it happened thrice, latter two of which had real gravitas rather than an one-off joke.
And third, Spender himself. He's repeatedly shown himself to be kind of a self sacrificing idiot, as well as prideful to a fault. Granted, it's both him and Mina trying to take on all the responsibility of saving Mayview and its inhabitants from their fate.. But Spender is exactly that right measure of doesn't-value-himself-enough (chest footprint aftercare or lack thereof), having an obscene amount of power (enables his loner act + pride) and poor judgement that has the capacity to put him at great risk. And it has!
Spender has not only shown low enough self-esteem to view himself as the de-facto scapegoat for the safety of the town, but also prideful enough to make very bad calls that end up in people, often himself, hurt (COUGH FORGE INCIDENT COUGH)
This is all conjecture, but it's definitely enough to make me worried about him :') Even if all this doesn't mean he'll necessarily die he's definitely getting (even more) seriously injured at some point. I love the guy but he's so far doing a horrible job of convincing me he wants to live bad enough to circumvent at least that
#not art#admin answers#paranatural#pnat#richard spender#pts-fic-notes-and-blog#before i continue on with tag ramble i just want to say tysm for leaving an ask!#none of my friends read this so ive been stewing on these thoughts for some months and i loved finally sharing them#this isn't exactly proof but the hijack possession seemingly being the final nail in the coffin for his and isabel's relationship.#idk it feels significant to me. thats one more tether to support kinda gone. someone who knows him well enough to know he's unwell#he seems not exactly content but fr incapable of not burning bridges as he is now. and considering how rashly he acts he REALLY needs those#to not do stupid shit all the god damn time with no buffer other than Lucifer. who for his measured approach to rick's hotheadedness#has honestly shown himself to be pretty lenient and kinda bad at controlling spender's more (self) destructive tendencies? so he dont count#to be clear i love spender to bits but he is dumb as rocks and has all the self preservation of a fruit fly. it needs to be said#also the lightning man... idk its WEIRD like especially on the reread its the thing that most consistently threatens him! it repeats#sure he gets chewed by a bat and banged up by forge but?? he somehow always comes back to lightning. catnine has it out for him#its something i didnt even really put together until i continued reading the flashback chapter AFTER getting this ask and went OHHHGNHF#which the only reason lightning is such a non issue is lucifer's powers. which belong to his sunglasses and not to the spirit in him#so its not like they can't be taken away he's just got a really good excuse for having those on all the time#TAGS GETTING SO LONG. ANYWAYS. i hope this is comprehensible lol
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it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.
#twist rambles#vc posting#grooming mention#for blocklist sorry im on my im really mad about this fucking series soapbox again#to be fucking honest she treats slavery similar. like its just THERE and the characters doing it dont really feel bad about it (much like m#rius doesnt seem to.. feel much if any remorse for arm.and) and it is just like... ok heres another bad thing with no examination. this isn#a super coherent post but i went a bit forward to see how b&g was handling the arm.and stuff and oh my god. oh im so mad. like i just... i#wish so badly that arma.nds abuse was taken seriously other than haha its sooo quirky that mari.us is in a position of power over him and#provides housing money sex comfort etc for him and is abusing him but hes sooo happy with himmmm. like he fucking sold him into sex slavery#and we are supposed to root for him#ask to tag#sorry this is just. its a very triggering part of the books but its something that i kind of keep returning to to mull over because it is#handled really badly. like i think she was trying to go for a lo.lita vibe (iirc she did actually mention nabok.ov as an inspiration) but#didnt really care enough to examine WHY that is an interesting take on the subject matter. not even to get into pan.doras stuff bc its just#really bad but at least he waited until she was an adult i suppose. like i will give anne one thing that she has characters and (poorly han#led) writing that makes you really think and analyze. which i think is where i enjoy media that is like... this kind of sucks at points but#u can tell the authors viewpoints soo transparently. and u can examine it thru this. like i think thats why i find the gr.ell run of GA int#resting too bc u can telll that man is a libertarian and doesnt respect women. and then claims to do so. its interesting to me. anyways#did u guys know she defended bill clin.ton when the monica stuff came out and victim blamed her. just a funny coincidence.#sorry for the really long tag rant but i am sooo fed up with how she treats this topic forever and ever. bc its been this way forever.#anyways back to reading had to get that out. lmk if u need me to tag this bc its a lot of tws :)
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i open CSP
miss ukraine only needs to be rendered,,, and i already started,,,
i close CSP and get in bed.
tomorrow,,,,,
#the perfectionism where i don't draw or do my favorite things in fear of them turning out bad is kicking my ass again#it's why i haven't drawn yao outside of a quick sketch i did for my IG story. unlike my other heta beloveds my admiration for him has been#marinating FOR TEN YEARS#also why i won't draw francis full body#i know practice makes perfect but i am SCARED!!!!#i have been thinking abt a like. actual for real art nouveau series with the mains and i woke up in a cold sweat months ago to scribble#a thumbnail for yao into my notes app#god i don't think i've drawn kateryna aside from shitposts either. she's too precious to me i'm afraid of not doing her justice#i wanna do something with florals again. maybe paint and do a scene???? unsure i do not know#i'm very bad at drawing the things i actually want to draw because 90% of the heta things i've drawn came on complete impulse#it's why hetagirls series has taken me so damn long#soph's public diary
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Recent images I suppose ~
#First one is THE LONG series of GEESE that fly by!!! my aforementioned friends... Or I think I referenced them in tags of some post#days ago. and how I love watching them. See how many there are? And multiple of these will go by. It's like hundreds of them.#Then just the sky because I love the sky. My hair looking ridiculous as it always does when I brush it out of the four big braids I always#keep it in to keep it out of the way lol. I just find it silly how small it can be all braided up and then as soon as it is Released and#combed then it poofs into some sort of swamp dwelling wizard style.#Then... a daily word count... have been so busy the past week that I sadly haven't written much but I'm WORKING on it. Still on the blasted#'odd jobs' tasks sections which were SUPPOSED to be very quick and short. but.. alas.. Though I am on basically the last one. You go work#for one of the enchanting specialists in the city (very important in society since a majority of people cannot do that type of magic) and#basically he just works so much he has no time for a social life so he hires random people to sit with him in the afternoons doing menial#tasks. You show up thinking you'll help with some Important Job or something but hes just like 'no... peel this apple for me.. :)' lol#Edit note: arrgh just had to fish a slippery avocado pit out of a narrow garbage disposal drain with a chopstick. felt like some#sort of taskmaster challenge or something.. gods... I know some people just reach into them. I guess maybe#my hand would fit?? but... erm... scary. what about Sharp Things in there or something.. also Sludge of some sort perhaps.#ANWYAY.. interruption... I got up to go to the kitchen in the middle of typing my tags... lol..#Next image is SLEEPING boye.. And then PIGEONS!!!!!!!!!! my beloveds...#Oh then the giant evil hole in my bathroom ceiling which is STILL not fixed and the repair people still have to come back again.. BUT they#did have this terrible industrial dehumidifier thing they put in the bathroom and just left here for like 5 days and it was like a noisy#hairdryer going at all times and raised the heat in the bathroom from 65F to 76F in like two hours so.. I'm glad at least at their#last arrival they've finally taken it away.... the Noise Beast... silence in my house at last...#though I am still plagued by Mysterious Hole.. the plastic wrap rustles sometimes when I'm in there.... go away...#Ah. Then a delightful little lemon poppyseed muffin someone didn't want and then gave to me. Which was interesting since I haven't#had one in soooo long even though its like a very Classic Flavor.. I do quite like them though now that I've had one again. :0c#Lastly.. mushrooms. I think it's the mushroom season here. Everywhere you go outside there's some new manner of fungus#having popped up from nowhere. I like the variety of all their little shapes. These in particular have an interesting wispy curled layers#sort of look to them. Almost like a shaggy hairstyle that's curled up at the ends or something. They seem neat to draw perhaps.#Okay.. that is all.. I still have literally like 2 costumes and 12 outfits and I think 1 sculpture? to post.. but I am so busy this is#what I can manage for now I suppose lol... quick pictures that don't really take any sorting or cropping or editing lol#photo diary
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i am like so paranoid im gonna accidentally draw the same character for a daily twice despite being literally nowhere near close to having done enough of them that i would do that without immediately noticing
#“what if i get the numbers wrong at some point and the mistake goes unnoticed for long enough that itd be really bad to fix”#as if i dont literally have all the numbers first thing on all the pngs on my pc in their folder sorted by the highest number first#bri talks#the wheel has a few blind spots (duplicates or guys not getting taken off the wheel bc they got handpicked etc)#... and a few shows i dont really have any interest in drawing right now or just fully dropped in the 4 month gap#so... might have to remake the wheel from scratch#haha ohh noo i have to make a list thats crazy . ohh my. ohh no i have to. youre telling me i have to put things in a category and list the#ouhh my god haha well someones gotta do it i guess ohh nooo
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Does anybody else feel like mental health awareness has done very little to help them in material reality
#i was gonna say done nothing to help but that seemed too harsh#like there definitely is more knowledge about it now. maybe more people feel comfortable speaking about it which is good#but personally i don't feel that. like idk. workplaces will post about mental health awareness and then do nothing to help employees#the same w universities. my uni cut back the already meager mental health support#and then the government is doing absolutely fuck all as well#like idk im just back in a place i thought id gotten out of long ago and i still don't feel comfortable talking about it with people#maybe that's a me problem or maybe it's cultural or something idk. but in the 10 years ive been depressed (🫠) i don't think it's gotten a#whole lot better. teenagers are still dealing with the same shit i did and they're still not being taken seriously#women's mental health is not even spoken about.....anxiety depression sh eds etc are still ignored or seen as hysterical behaviour in women#or just normal esp with disordered eating. society hasn't changed people still want women to be stick thin and weak#like i know 10 years is a short time and there has been massive improvements in mh awareness if we look back over the past 50+ years#but idk i just think that it hasn't gotten better for a lot of people#i think specifically of belfast and like god. the amount of trauma there is the amount of homelessness the amount of substance abuse#drug abuse in particular that has gotten visibly worse over the past decade or so*#and i connect the dots n see the 2008 recession + a tory gov defunding the nhs + dehumanisation of homeless people & addicts + the troubles#+ ptsd + generational trauma + a negative peace + classism + paramilitary drug dealers + parties linked to those paramilitaries#and its like hmmmm i think we live in a society. and a mental health approach based on individual actions like journaling and meditation#isn't the way to go. or at least is not the be all and end all which is what a lot of mental health awareness raising seems to promote#*visibly worse on the streets. it was always a problem ofc but even a decade ago my parents never imagined it would be as bad as it is now#and it's become so normalised. i do think there's less individualism here than there seems to be elsewhere which can be good and can be bad#but i think we are becoming more and more individualistic. slowly. there's still a sense of community here but i do think it's changing#and callousness towards homeless people is one of the most obvious examples of this.#love when i put a wee asterisk in the tags of a post. like i have A Lot To Say lol
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Messy school doodles HAHEHHE
Season 2 Robbie (not canon Robbie ofc, but rather the "S2" of my own fic which I may or may not ever finish). The lore is that his hair was MUCH longer than this, but it got shaved off due to Lore Reasons™ and now it's growing back :]
NOT STAN. That's my beta Dipper HAHEHHEE. My notes are just emphasizing how similar they look. Me, earlier today, drawing beta Dipper: "STAN PINES ?! 😨😮😮😨😨😨"
Perhaps. Gay people. I am thinking about it really hard fr
#sometimes writing a story is toying with different dynamics and being like “auughh i LOVE this plotline but it'd go completely against -#- everything else in the whole story 😭“ so I gotta kill my darlings.#and I don't mean “killing off a character”#i mean “killing off this cool ass dynamic that sounds awesome but may not fit the story I'm trying to tell”#anyway#gay people... perhaps#do you see the amazing dynamic these two would have in the context of the story I'm making ??? no you don't#because i haven't told you anything about my story LMAO AHDHABHAHAHR#but point is: i love them#god#toxic yaoi is real#they've got the situationship that can almost rival whatever the hell Stanford Pines had going on (unfortunately they do not beat him)#they've got a dynamic that makes others think they don't care about eachother at all. that they hate eachother and that's all#and they DID hate eachother for most of their time together but after a bunch of years spent with no one else to rely on except eachother?#maybe you DO hate them still. but you can't deny the bond you share because the only other person in the world who GETS IT is him#you've seen him at his best and worst. you've driven him to the brink of insanity. you've taken everything from him#and yet you cuddle when the night is cold and it's so so lonely outside#you know how he likes his pancakes. how he'd rather cut his hair off than brush it. how he's entranced by the stars he never saw so clearly#you recognize when he's about to have a panic attack. you sit with him til he calms down. you hold hands and miss your families together#and you know he's the toughest person you know. so the occasional bang sessions? oh; those are NOT gentle#there's nothing more than a single safeword they never used more than once. because they've been together for so long and they know how far-#-they can push until it becomes too much. but to be gentle? to be soft? to a person who has grown so used to dodging your knives?#that is a whole entire INSULT !!! how DARE you treat me like I'm fragile NOW after we spent our lives on opposite sides of a battlefield?#how DARE you be gentle to me now after you ripped open my guts and shoved salt and dirt inside?#you know how much i can handle and you know I've always loved the thrill#so don't you dare make this any less of a battle unless you want me to bash your head in with a hammer. moron#the real valenpines dynamic i stg. i love them so much you don't understand#i can't believe I'm gonna have to sacrifice this dynamic#robbie valentino#dipper pines
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twenty questions for fic writers
Tagged by @bagheerita ❤️️
How many works do you have on AO3? 29
What's your total AO3 word count? 208,847
What fandoms do you write for? Stargate Universe mainly, though I've also tried out Stargate Atlantis and James Bond.
Top five fics by kudos: what do pretty monsters dream of? (SGA, Sheppard/Todd) down here they call us animals (SGU, Rush/Young, vamp AU) Valentine's Day (James Bond, asexual Bond) Consultancy Opportunity (SGU, Rush/Telford, PWP) Good Things Come In Threes (SGU, Rush/Young/Telford, P-with-P)
Do you respond to comments? Yes, every one. I know how anxiety-inducing it can be to leave a comment, so I really want to put the effort in to respond. It might take me a few days, as per the anxiety, but there's nothing I love more than discussing my fics!
What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? so i bite my tongue and hope for blood (warning for non-con) Rush is drugged and does things to Telford. Telford understandably reacts poorly. No working through the trauma here - just trauma.
What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? Hmm, looking through my fics I guess I'm not a happy endings kind of guy. 😂 Think the best I can do is Valentine's Day, with Q worrying for a lot of it that Bond is sexually pursuing him only for things to end up firmly in the asexual category with cuddling and talking and petting cats.
Do you get hate on fics? Nah, everyone's pretty chill. Though of course I'm not involved in any large fandoms and that's where the more aggressive people tend to end up.
Do you write smut? Hell yeah I do! When I started posting to A03 near the end of 2022 it was the majority of what I wrote. Recently I've not really been feeling it - ever since I really had to force things so I'd be able to finish the 10k final chapter of the threesome fic - so I've been writing other stuff. I'm sure the smut will reactivate at some point.
Craziest crossover: I've never written any, and I'm afraid I'm not a fan of crossovers at all. 😂
Have you ever had a fic stolen? Nah, not to my knowledge. Though I guess with AI scrapers you never know these days.
Have you ever had a fic translated? No, though of course I'd give my permission for it.
Have you ever co-written a fic before? Nothing posted to AO3. Back in the day I RPed Doctor Who smut and stuck it on FFnet, and got a warning slapped on my account for it. 👎
All time favourite ship? Young/Telford/Rush, either all together in a threesome, or paired off in any possible permutation. These three guys are the revolving door of my brain.
What's a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? I haven't worked on Your Own Worst Enemy for a long while, a fic where Rush, Young, Telford, and Destiny are all recovering from different forms of sexual assault. Though I'm really pleased with what I've got so far, I'm not sure where the plot goes next and I want to handle the subject matter with care. I think it's the kind of fic I have to complete before I start posting.
What are your writing strengths? I really enjoy taking a character and changing their sexuality to all the possible options to explore the possibilities. I've been told I do this while still remaining in character because I do the work to get there instead of just slapping a label on. For example, I've written fics where Telford is straight, bi, gay, aromantic, and am currently working on one where he's asexual. I love seeing what shapes I can bend characters into while still remaining true to canon.
What are your writing weaknesses? I see writeblrs talking about doing big cuts in their editing process, trimming off thousands of words at a time! While I understand why, cutting a scene I've worked hard on is something I can rarely bring myself to do.
Thoughts on dialogue in another language? I think my knee jerk response would be to say yes, but don't overdo it. Even if the translations are readily available (found this skin which works for both desktop and mobile users and uses HTML instead of making the author fiddle around with editing the workskin for each individual translation) having to move to hover/click can take the reader out of the story if it's done to an extreme degree.
First fandom you wrote in? Doctor Who, in... 2007 I want to say.
Favourite fic you’ve written? down here they call us animals is the first one that springs to mind, as it was such a massive sense of accomplishment to finish a long project, and making my own vampire lore and history was really enjoyable. I have to give a mention to a memory, a distant echo (warning for memories of non-con) as well though. I feel like I crafted that with my bare hands from clay, you know? Telford's trauma... I could wax fucking poetic about it for days.
No pressure tagging: @fortunatetragedy @frostysfrenzy @wolgerrswraith @frostedlemonwriter @galadhir + open to anyone who wants a go!
#god i'm sorry this one took me long so to do!#the sudden increase in temperature has taken me out at the fucking knees#i'm a pasty ass white boy on adhd meds#i'm not built for anything above 10C 😭#tag game#about me#writeblr#mine#bagheerita
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I mean. I guess the good news is that I am now 100% sure I'm not in love with Her™ even a little bit at all anymore, but like. At what cost.
#I think mostly I just. I miss my friend. she and I were friends. I LOVED being friends (until it became untenable obviously)#and I wish so SO much that we could have held onto that.#and I guess I could try again now but it's been so long. I doubt she even has an interest in that anymore. we've been completely no-contact#for enough time that I don't...think it's actually possible to build that back up. and I'm not sure that I won't get cagey and Weird™#about it because. you know. the memory of hurt is still there even if I can't bring myself to be mad at her anymore. even if genuinely#in a platonic way I just miss her.#though apparently she did keep the shirt I gave her and thinks about me every time she wears it. I know this because she told me#herself when I caved and messaged her a few weeks back.#there was a time where...I COULD have talked to her about everything that's going on. where I know she would have listened and#taken me seriously and offered advice even if she didn't understand. because she always made an EFFORT to understand.#and she wouldn't have judged me for handling things so badly or like...feeling them in the first place? for all the shit that happened she#never thought I was An Inconvenience™ or too Messy™ to bother with.#she always took me seriously in a way that few people ever have. she was so...patient. and thoughtful. and it was never a burden for#her to be those things. I'm a difficult person I think. but it didn't seem like that when I was her friend. and GOD do I mourn that.#anyway. enough waxing poetic on my fucking birthday lmao.#today is for playing Farming Game and talking to friends#In the Vents
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