#GIVE ME THE BOY JUICE!!!!
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im literally gnawing on the bars of my enclosure all i can fucking think about lately is getting on testosterone
#i want it so bad#GIVE ME THE BOY JUICE!!!!#lowkey keep thinking about calling a planned parenthood near me. just to see if it could even possibly be an option#even slightly#also it’s NOT helping that i started my period and it’s kicking my ass#i dont want to exist the way i do anymore i want to be who i really am#uuuuuuggggh#transmasc#trans#transgender#testosterone#hrt#trans ftm#gender affirming care#transblr#trans community#queer#hormone therapy#transmasculine#hrt ftm
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Without fail the funniest thing that happens to me every couple months is when I'm like "fuck it, I'm gonna make an appointment to finally start T" only for every place near me to be like "yeah we have no appointments :) try again later"
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the silly...
taken from this post from the spiderversemovie account on instagram
#i'm like very deranged over the boy. he is my everything#give me one blurry pixel of him and i will juice the hell out of it until i go into pavitr withdrawal again#i miss my son#the only reason i follow this account is because i am delulu and think i can get a pavitr short film or some shit if i beg hard enough#it is not working. please help me#i feel like the meme where the guy goes “hello. how are you. i am under the water. please help me. here too much raining weahaahah T-T”#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#atsv pavitr#atsv#across the spiderverse#agnirambles
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my favorite wet cat
#yellow talks#yellow doodles#saiki k#been feeling really empty these days and its not the good kind of empty#so i drew my boy to give me back some of a little brain juice <33#huhuhu i wanna draw anime-like bro#huurghnnghh catboysuo he gives me the ideas i need to explode his face with coffee#saiki k fanart#fan art#the disastrous life of saiki k#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki#saiki no psi nan#tdlosk#saiki kusuo#kusuo saiki
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Eddie isn't the type to ask what someone is listening to. If they have earbuds in, he'll just pluck one out and put it into his own ear to see.
He stopped that after he took Steve's headphones, thinking it was some pop or Taylor Swift or even music that Eddie would be into.
Turns out Steve does not listen to that stuff
#Fill in the blanks however you'd like#steve harrington#stranger things#eddie munson#joseph quinn#joe keery#joe quinn#steddie#Personally I think Eddie was met with wap or something#Just out of character for sunshine boy#Of course Steve was like “what do you think i listen to??? We always listen to your music”#“I don't KNOW but I didn't expect it to be THIS?????”#don't ask me what this is#I'm just bored#Meaning you guys get fed weird shit#Anyways come get yall juice#“And Jesus is always with me even when my boyfriend gives me hickies 🙏” Steve wtf is this#Don't wanna spit I wanna gulp I wanna gag I wanna choke I want you to touch that little dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat
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is it a coincidence that just days after watching all of the Saw movies I realized that I am most likely a trans man/transmasc instead of transneutral, and started looking into testosterone HRT? Was my spontaneous decision to watch all of the Saw movies actually an act of divine intervention? Did Saw have anything to do with this realization at all even? (100% yeah)
#i will say this was preceded by a ~1 year long (and ongoing) hyperfixation on Specs from insidious/Leigh Whannell#in which i was already reaching truly distressing amounts of gender envy for this first time in a very long while.#if the boy juice doesnt magical girl transform me into Specs i dont want it (KIDDING IM KIDDING GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE GOD PLEASE)#id love to be thick & juicy like my pookie bear mark too honestly#ive never met my bio dad. but i have seen a pic & know he used to do strongman competitions. as a career. the Mark goal is well within reach#transgender#transmasculine#saw franchise#adam stanheight#mark hoffman#og
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PHARMACY I HATE YOU PHARMACY
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aimed my hopes too high
#thats on me for assuming anything in canada would actually be done promptly and within a provided time frame lol#being ghosted over my boy juice by professionals in the field <3#not art#pbbbbt im just sulking but it is demotivating. if im not gonna be able to see at least give me this ffs
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MIGHT BE GETTING ON T TOMORROW!!!!
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Honestly I will NEVER get over how fucken PERFECT Rook as a partner for Vil is like BR U H
#✮┆ ( .ooc. );#//Mans cares for him more than his own gottdam SOUL & always reaffirms him whether he want him to or not; bc it's still Important to him#//But at the same time is so terribly blunt abt the things he notices/thinks even when he Knows Vil ain't gonna like what he hears#//And ain't afraid to go against Vil if it's what his own heart believes it to be the right thing#//BC HE UNDERSTANDS THAT MORE THAN WORSHIPING HIS QUEEN; VIL VALUES HIS TRUE OPINIONS AND FEELINGS MORE#//Likewise Vil does have a part to play in shaping Rook to be a more presentable pretty boi version of himself & nags him plenty to be such#//He ALSO doesn't try to hold back Rook's eccentric personality unless it's RLLY crossing a line & actively ENCOURAGES his unique pursuits#//Like#//B R U H#//I may love LV lots (bc their type of conflicting relationship vibes is fucken crack cocaine to me)#//BUT RKVL IS JUST#//A U G H#//Sometimes to FEEL things#//I go back and play the HIGHLIGHTS of their bond#//Rook wanting to drink the poisoned apple juice bc VIL cursed it in his desperation to win#//Rook begging Vil to wake up after his overblot#//Rook being so desperate to get to Vil in book6#//Rook telling Vil that no matter what anyone thinks; he WILL be the fairest of all if he believes himself to be#//And the CALLBACK to that when Vil loses his beauty; bc it CLEARLY left an impression that is now permanently embedded in Vil's heart#//Vil calling Rook HIS huntsman and giving him a lil kiss even knowing he OUGHT to be yelling at him for endangering himself & the freshies#//Vil letting Rook get away w even the most mortifying remarks abt him bc he can use them to improve himself since Rook doesn't mince words#//Rook knowing practically everything and anything abt Vil's career and life bc he wishes to adore and study him in his pursuit of beauty#//Vil being mildly obsessed with Rook's training gains & being SO excited to pit himself against Rook bc he KNOWS Rook won't hold back#//Rook likewise being SO eager to compete with Vil and seeing who comes out on top (Beansfest my absolute BELOVED)#//(b7 spoils) Vil's utter fondness for Rook when he awakens from his dream & Rook's trust Vil will be okay when the darkness takes him#//Rook shuddering at the memory of the OB but still praising Vil's beauty and adoring him so even still#//Vil never hesitating to praise Rook and complimenting him as his right hand and always trusting him to have his back when it counts#//LIIKE#//They are EVERYTHING#//Even outside a ship; their bond is SO special and absolutely fucken ETERNAL
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Colin in his men era
#guys help he forgot his loving woman juice!!!!!! shame#why is he giving the eekkkk 😭😭😭 my guy what happened#Colin’s best character trait was being kinda dumb I want my dumb silly boy back what is going awn#not him winking at them 😭😭😭 I wanna punch him (affectionate) (not)#Eloise and Cressida????? PREP X GOTH IM SENSING???#I literally binged all first two seasons just to get to this one it better not disappoint#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton#Colin#edit: OKAYYY Francesca aroace queen??? I don’t care if she isn’t she is now MY character and I know her better than anyone !!!!#franchesca and Penelope are so personal to me actually#second edit: OMG WE ARE DOING THE MATCHMAKING I FALL FOR YOU IN THW END TROPE FOR PEN AND COLIN OH THEY TRULY WERE WRITTEN FOR ME I FEAR#This is actually so personal to me you guys#edit 3: OMG EP 3 ENDING GUYYSSS#Sorry I am like 😀😀😀 yikeeeessss#omg Eloise ily queen keep slaying but a#i fear. I. I fear that. 😀😀😀😀😀😀#peace was never an option me think
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I showed you my gender please call me
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tomorrow I go to the doctor and hopefully (HOPEFULLY, because I've been given the runaround a bit w this) I will walk out with a prescription for testosterone. everyone wish me luck
#im cleared on the physical front. im cleared on the mental front. PLEASE give me my boy juice i crave it#juno.txt
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Ykw my pharmacy gave me the needles to start T but they never gave me the testosterone. Like I've got 4 syringes and then another 4 replacement needles but they never gave me the actual T vial. Just lemme get my second puberty done with please? Please? Please? Please? Pl
#trans#transgender#trans guy#ftm#euuuugh#hrt#ftm hrt#this is like the biggest part of my transition#ive been waiting 4 years#PLEASE#I JUST WANT MY BOY JUICE#GIVE ME MY LOWER VOICE AND HAIRYNESS#ffs
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wait i just remembered we (finally ) have a psych appt tomorrow (today? it is 1am) yippee (i hate doctors SO MUCH)
#the main goal is to re-prescribe the meds ive been taking for literal years. again#but i am also going to ask for like the fourth time about testosterone#please give me boy juice.. .
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sometimes I think about my years as a scout. and then wonder how im still alive/sane
#WHEN DID I WRITE THIS??? HELLO??#i have no memory of doing this but my drafts were empty last week????#we did a competition camp and we burned everything. set baked beans on fire set a tub of butter on fire#i ate a basically raw sweet potato because we were tired of waiting for it to cook more#someone in my troopgot paid 20p to drink a concotion of out of date juice dirt water and stick pieces (he did it)#i sat and read a warrior cats book in the shared tent while my friends pretended to have gay sex next to me#(i say pretend because they were still fully clothed#that was just one camp#and then at the scout hut we had a box of expired foods that wed occasionally go thru#and my sister got tricked into eating a green marshmallow and got food poisoning#(i didnt eat it bc i was suspicious of why they were giving out free food)#i had a knife thrown at me multiple times. most notable being when someone (weird drink guy) thought i was tryna steal his chair#we werent allowed pocketknives at camp after that#one of the leaders hated me. told me i looked miserable all the time and didnt like that i was vegetarian#but its fine bc he was a dick. made us clean his car okce because it was a “learning experience”#my parents paid for me to go to scouts#i talk to none of the people from there anymore#oh and the majority of the boys had a weird obsession with my sister. and would ask me how to talk to her#i think it really shaped me as a person tbh
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