#GIVE ME THE BOY JUICE!!!!
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im literally gnawing on the bars of my enclosure all i can fucking think about lately is getting on testosterone
#i want it so bad#GIVE ME THE BOY JUICE!!!!#lowkey keep thinking about calling a planned parenthood near me. just to see if it could even possibly be an option#even slightly#also it’s NOT helping that i started my period and it’s kicking my ass#i dont want to exist the way i do anymore i want to be who i really am#uuuuuuggggh#transmasc#trans#transgender#testosterone#hrt#trans ftm#gender affirming care#transblr#trans community#queer#hormone therapy#transmasculine#hrt ftm
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Without fail the funniest thing that happens to me every couple months is when I'm like "fuck it, I'm gonna make an appointment to finally start T" only for every place near me to be like "yeah we have no appointments :) try again later"
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the silly...
taken from this post from the spiderversemovie account on instagram
#i'm like very deranged over the boy. he is my everything#give me one blurry pixel of him and i will juice the hell out of it until i go into pavitr withdrawal again#i miss my son#the only reason i follow this account is because i am delulu and think i can get a pavitr short film or some shit if i beg hard enough#it is not working. please help me#i feel like the meme where the guy goes “hello. how are you. i am under the water. please help me. here too much raining weahaahah T-T”#pavitr prabhakar#spider man#spider man india#atsv pavitr#atsv#across the spiderverse#agnirambles
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my favorite wet cat
#yellow talks#yellow doodles#saiki k#been feeling really empty these days and its not the good kind of empty#so i drew my boy to give me back some of a little brain juice <33#huhuhu i wanna draw anime-like bro#huurghnnghh catboysuo he gives me the ideas i need to explode his face with coffee#saiki k fanart#fan art#the disastrous life of saiki k#the disaster of psi kusuo saiki#saiki no psi nan#tdlosk#saiki kusuo#kusuo saiki
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Eddie isn't the type to ask what someone is listening to. If they have earbuds in, he'll just pluck one out and put it into his own ear to see.
He stopped that after he took Steve's headphones, thinking it was some pop or Taylor Swift or even music that Eddie would be into.
Turns out Steve does not listen to that stuff
#Fill in the blanks however you'd like#steve harrington#stranger things#eddie munson#joseph quinn#joe keery#joe quinn#steddie#Personally I think Eddie was met with wap or something#Just out of character for sunshine boy#Of course Steve was like “what do you think i listen to??? We always listen to your music”#“I don't KNOW but I didn't expect it to be THIS?????”#don't ask me what this is#I'm just bored#Meaning you guys get fed weird shit#Anyways come get yall juice#“And Jesus is always with me even when my boyfriend gives me hickies 🙏” Steve wtf is this#Don't wanna spit I wanna gulp I wanna gag I wanna choke I want you to touch that little dangly thing that swing in the back of my throat
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is it a coincidence that just days after watching all of the Saw movies I realized that I am most likely a trans man/transmasc instead of transneutral, and started looking into testosterone HRT? Was my spontaneous decision to watch all of the Saw movies actually an act of divine intervention? Did Saw have anything to do with this realization at all even? (100% yeah)
#i will say this was preceded by a ~1 year long (and ongoing) hyperfixation on Specs from insidious/Leigh Whannell#in which i was already reaching truly distressing amounts of gender envy for this first time in a very long while.#if the boy juice doesnt magical girl transform me into Specs i dont want it (KIDDING IM KIDDING GIVE IT TO ME PLEASE GOD PLEASE)#id love to be thick & juicy like my pookie bear mark too honestly#ive never met my bio dad. but i have seen a pic & know he used to do strongman competitions. as a career. the Mark goal is well within reach#transgender#transmasculine#saw franchise#adam stanheight#mark hoffman#og
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aimed my hopes too high
#thats on me for assuming anything in canada would actually be done promptly and within a provided time frame lol#being ghosted over my boy juice by professionals in the field <3#not art#pbbbbt im just sulking but it is demotivating. if im not gonna be able to see at least give me this ffs
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MIGHT BE GETTING ON T TOMORROW!!!!
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wip cause i got itch to make a fo character a while ago but never got back into it but now the show pushed me :)
#i really wanna draw him properly but where juice#where#give me juice pls#anyway stinky stinky ghoul#glow in the dark boy#will shoot you on sight boy 💕#jk hes cool hes chill#he will give off rads tho cant help with that#oc: bugg#ne0n art
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Colin in his men era
#guys help he forgot his loving woman juice!!!!!! shame#why is he giving the eekkkk 😭😭😭 my guy what happened#Colin’s best character trait was being kinda dumb I want my dumb silly boy back what is going awn#not him winking at them 😭😭😭 I wanna punch him (affectionate) (not)#Eloise and Cressida????? PREP X GOTH IM SENSING???#I literally binged all first two seasons just to get to this one it better not disappoint#bridgerton spoilers#bridgerton#Colin#edit: OKAYYY Francesca aroace queen??? I don’t care if she isn’t she is now MY character and I know her better than anyone !!!!#franchesca and Penelope are so personal to me actually#second edit: OMG WE ARE DOING THE MATCHMAKING I FALL FOR YOU IN THW END TROPE FOR PEN AND COLIN OH THEY TRULY WERE WRITTEN FOR ME I FEAR#This is actually so personal to me you guys#edit 3: OMG EP 3 ENDING GUYYSSS#Sorry I am like 😀😀😀 yikeeeessss#omg Eloise ily queen keep slaying but a#i fear. I. I fear that. 😀😀😀😀😀😀#peace was never an option me think
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me: why does my brain feel unglued
My underwear when I take my bathroom break: 🟥🟥🟥
#cipher talk#Anyway. Has anyone ever had a sore scratchy throat as a pre menstrual symptom#Because that might explain something#Something I am thinking about now again because of my unwilling absence from T is that oh yeah I actually don't hate menstruation#As much as I'm expected to#The symptoms can be frustrating but it doesn't actually make me dysphoric- I just said that to my Dr to get him to give me my boy juice#I remember blocking a major cis Jewish blogger on here once because I found her additions to a post I made talking about gender and mikvehs#Very annoying#I am not really bothered by being a man- or at least a not-woman- who menstruates even though I frankly really wish I had a dick#And on some level I like to commemorate it when it happens. Because it's important to me.#That there are men who do not fit the 'correct' shape of a man. That I don't want to simply pass and politely regard my birth as a mistake#It's also why I find medieval discussions of cis men being referred to as menstruating interesting#It's a very weird space to be in because I do have bottom dysphoria; it's just completely independent of wether or not I bleed
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I showed you my gender please call me
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Got a text about a mystery prescription ITS TESTOSTERONE BUT THE PHARMACY IS OUT AAHHHHH
#housemate calls me like they dont have ur prescription shall we wait or shall.i go elsewhere#and im like idk what is it am i stocked up?#'oh ill ask. OH DUDE ITS TESTOSTERONE'#i just SCREAMED#GIVE ME MY BOY JUICE AAAAHHHH#word of god
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four coffees and all i want is sleep
also i spent 50 minutes trying to hunt down a book and discovered its crazy expensive and the nearest library that has it is 290km away
#bean juice why don't you work on me#i did some of the things i was supposed to do but i think its the chess that pushed me to it idk how#also i know the digital library exists but i want it off the screen#mine#coffee#chaotic academia#dark academia#ALSO fuck amazon i canceled my calendar order which they now (after 9 days) claim they lost and they will give me money back#never ordering from that website again idk how americans tolerate it also packages outside??? seems very unsafe#ordered again from the japanese website and the sweet people APOLOGIZED that it will take a week to deliver across half the world#i want to hug them all i should have ordered from there to begin with but i wanted the calendar fast#boy was i wrong
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tomorrow I go to the doctor and hopefully (HOPEFULLY, because I've been given the runaround a bit w this) I will walk out with a prescription for testosterone. everyone wish me luck
#im cleared on the physical front. im cleared on the mental front. PLEASE give me my boy juice i crave it#juno.txt
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Oh wow, that's. That's a Clone. That's a clone of my comfort character...
#finally made myself watch captain laserhawk. wtf#many thoughts as a longtime rayman fan. that was all i ever wanted tbh. astoundingly correct direction considering the setting#i understand now why everybody did so much art of him when it first came out. too much potential there lmao#bro my mind wouldn't stop giving me a funny lil commercial abt it: 'have You or a Loved One been Cloned without Your Consent/Knowledge??'#they wouldn't make an android Ray(too expensive prolly). they Could edit a lot of footage for basic updates but that's too much effort? idk#yeah my brain just went CLONE!!!! HOLY SHIT CLONE WTF OKAY. OKAY#this isn't even the new interest or anything(by a long shot). i just missed my boy tbh#Rayman Raving Rabbids(2006 for the PS2) was basically my first ever video game so. glad i waited to see this stuff in my own time#the fucking. Rabbids Are Addicted to Carrot Juice audio literally jumpscared me lmao#i might be wrong. it could be the main theme without the background noise idk but it uh. woag
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