#GET HIM HIS BABY HOME RIGHT NOW
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girlevanbuckley · 2 months ago
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me after that fucking birthday party scene
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yuwuta · 5 months ago
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JJK OLYMPICS OHHH YOURE A GENIUS
head spinning w sooooooo many athlete aus rn….. 
satoru honestly isn’t half as cocky as the media makes him out to be but he could be because you bring up world champion men’s freestyle swim times and it’s his name on the scoreboard ten times before someone else shows up. he’s faster than himself by fifteen seconds all around, he’s earned a bit of cockiness. mentioned in the last post that whenever he’s at a competition and he finishes a race, he looks at the camera and signs a little infinity sign and then blows a kiss to you. some bitter old coach always calls him out on it, and gets him fined for unsportsmanlike conduct, and he’s happy to pay the fees if it means getting a message home to you, but eventually you two come up with a new code; and at his next race, he places gold, turns to the camera, crosses his middle finger over his pointer finger and smiles. when he’s in his post-race interview, he makes sure to explain that he does it for you with the widest smile on his face.
megumi nepotism baby but not in the same sport. toji was a multi gold medalist back in his heyday for shooting, so it’s not really a surprise to anybody that megumi has scary good aim, but he takes to archery instead of shooting. actually the idea of megumi being an emo little kid and throwing rocks at a tree when his dad pissed him off his hilarious, and even funnier is toji watching him, slightly amused and a little scared because megumi is maybe six and hitting the exact same spot every single time. he grows to be very blase about it—it’s more of a release/hobby for him that he happens to be really good at, and well, now good enough to earn a few olympic medals. megumi is not a fan of having his dad ruffle his hair on international television after he’s won, but he supposes it can’t be helped.
i don’t know where to put yuuta…. tennis…. tempting….. him in his little white shorts…. little grunts after he serves…. cries….. a complete 180 in his personality when he’s playing vs doing anything else. so charming and sweet and kinda shy when he’s being interviewed, and the second he steps on the court his eyes are so cold it’s scary…. need him… extremely nerdy about his rackets, and shoes, and clothes, and rambles to you about aerodynamics and posture and torque whenever you ask him to teach you, and you always have to shutup him up with a kiss and remind him that yeah you sort of want to learn to play tennis for him, but mostly you came bc he looks hot doing it. once he got asked in an interview if he ever thinks about you while he’s playing and his response was very concise, “no, never. it would be a big distraction,” and did not realize the implications of his heavily televised words. 
also…. not to make this post 40% yuuta but we could pull from canon a bit and make his sport fencing. he doesn’t excel because he’s the strongest, it’s because he’s learned to treat the sword as an extension of himself and a good strategist… also because i like the image of him pulling the helmet/mask off and shaking his hair out………..
don’t even know where to put yuuji…. volleyball? basketball? track and field??? the irony of him easily being the most athletic but canonically does not want to play sports 😭 but i can see him playing a sport because someone scouts him and it turns out to be a way to make steady money to support himself and his grandpa :( by the time he’s qualified and made it to the olympics, wasuke is doing much better (thanks to yuuji having landed some preemptive sponsorships and being able to afford better medical care), but not so well enough that he can travel across the world to watch yuuji play. wasuke tells you that you should travel and be with yuuji, but yuuji is so touched by the idea that you would stay with his grandpa and be by his side when he’s away :(( he wins gold, of course, and he doesn’t even wait until the closing ceremony—which, he’d mentioned in all of his interviews, so nobody can be too upset. he’s on record saying, “i’m excited to play, but i’m even happier to be going home. my girlfriend and my grandpa are watching me and i miss them!” several times— he’s on the first flight home with flowers, and tears in his eyes. puts his gold medal on his grandpa’s neck as a thank you, and spends probably thirty minutes straight hugging you and kissing you and honestly don’t put it past him to propose now that he’s got nike ambassador money 
nanami started judo as a way to relieve the stress of his overbearing job, and someone at the gym/training center notices he seems to be a natural despite being a beginner. he starts to draw a crowd, which annoys him at first because the point of judo was discipline and release from having to deal with too many people at his office job, but nanami supposes he can’t be too mad when you introduce yourself as a talent scout and offer him professional training. there’s irony in him accepting your offer, because it was definitely not based in professionalism at all… quitting his job as a salaryman to become a professional athlete in his mid-twenties was not on his bingo chart, but if it means he will have met you, then so be it. you’re with him all the way, through his training, competitions, world championships, qualifiers, all the way until he’s on the podium. you’re the first to congratulate him, but he interjects by telling you he’s quitting. you ask him why—he just won at the olympics for crying out loud, but nanami just shakes his head, puts down his flowers and his medal so his hands are free to hold your face and tell you, “it would be unethical to kiss my manager, so i am quitting.” (later, when everything is said and done, and you two are cuddling, you mention to him that he could just hire a new manager, and not quit his new career, to which he blushes because yeah… that’s probably more rational, but rational was not in his train of thought at the time)
#anonymous#nanami kento.......................................... god#also yuuji :((((( just a kid who wanted to do something nice for his grandpa I will CRY#immediate proposal when he gets home to you who does he think he is? yuuta?#speaking of yuuta he's like the best player his age and he's always asked to attend events or parties or whatever#and he's always like ah no thank you I am going home to my girlfriend#every fucking interview it's like yeah I love tennis but I love my girlfriend more for supporting and encouraging me#my girlfriend my girlfriend my girlfriend#one day he actually seems Excited to be doing his press conference and a journalist picks up on it to which yuuta happily raises his hand#and lets everyone know that he's now engaged. and very very grateful for his wife#he does the same shit a few years later like randomly during a press conference he's like#'I am kinda nervous. my baby didn't sleep well last night so I was up with him pretty late' and everyone's like BABY?#and yuutas like yeah! he's almost 14 months now do u wanna see him!#let me stop bringing kids into this bc w/ satoru and kento I could go on for hours....#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen x reader#jujutsu kaisen fluff#jujutsu kaisen smut#gojo x reader#gojo smut#yuuta x reader#yuuji x reader#megumi x reader#nanami kento x reader#once u asked megumi what he thinks about when he's practicing and he's so deadpan as he reloads and arrow#and right before he lets it go he's like 'ur ex boyfriend' and then hits the target dead in the center LMFAO#olympics au
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freyadragonlord · 2 months ago
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How do I explain how married Han Yoojin and Sung Hyunje are in the post-epilogue Side Stories without sounding like I am exaggerating or making things up...
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kizzer55555 · 6 months ago
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Ultimate Escape Room
Sam, Danny, and Tucker are bored. Nothing seems to be a challenge anymore. Summer vacation is coming up but they can’t agree on anything . Themepark? What’s a better roller coaster than Jack driving? Scary movie? I’m sorry, nothing beats Fright Knight’s nightmare realm. Bungie jumping? Danny can fly. Then Tucker, who’s been typing on his computer, asks “what about an escape room?”. The others are about to shut the idea down because seriously? Easy. But Tucker just grins and shows them his computer screen.
“Ever heard of Arkham?”
Danny and Sam lean over to read the description and all three turn to each other and grin. 
Now, what’s the fastest way to get into Arkham?
So the chaos trio do ✨something✨ that gets them locked up in Arkham and then try to escape and they keep. You know, normal stuff for Arkham inmates. Except this trio? Keep. Getting. Out. Of. Their. Cells. So they are just passing by locked up rogues and waving at them as an army of prison guards chase after them. Sure they could get out the easy way (Aka powers) but no, this is a challenge so they have the normal rules of an escape room. Aka, you can’t break anything and an extra rule where if a guard catches you, then you can’t fight back (also, no one can get hurt). (They make fake identities and everything). So they need to go through the whole process. Figure out how to unlock cuffs. Could be learning to pick a lock with a spoon/stick/long nails. Then find the keys. Possibly having to crawl through vents to get in the warden’s office. Or making deals with prison inmates. Like, I’ll get this for you if you give me that (however they extract a promise that the rogue can’t kill anyone with whatever they help them with.) So they are in prison literally doing errands like find freeze’s weapons in exchange for him telling them the passcode to the gate or something. Or getting Waylon some meat from the cafeteria and he’ll break the lock on this movable vault that has materials to make smoke bombs they can use to distract the front guards. 
These kids are just going wild and it gets to the point where Arkham has to call the bats (like no Waylon, we won’t escape with you, we have to do it without breaking any walls!) So literally the only reason they are not escaping is because they want to do it ‘right’. But they are also aiding other rogues in their escape (at least certain ones. They aren’t helping joker no matter what he offers)
It’s driving the bats mad. They have vigilantes stationed in each hall, in multiple monitor rooms.
They aren’t even using anything clever to block the cameras. They’re using mirrors. Mirrors! Where did they even get so many handheld mirrors! 
They are running circles around the bats. The escaped rogues literally aren’t doing anything yet because they want to see how the three hellions will escape the entire bat clan. They have bets going. So there is a temporary truce.
Just imagine the conversations/interrogations the bats will have with trio, trying to figure out their master plan - because surely there's something more going on than three chaos young adults playing a game, right?
They trio each have a different story. And they are so passionate/convincing actors that no one knows which story is real. At least one of them told a sob story with legitimate tears.
Danny: (all mysterious) You shall never know our master plan….until it is too late. And just casually dropping hints that there is something greater or that the bats are playing right into their hands. Even using ridiculous scenarios like yesss the ketchup explosion in the cafeteria….We are one step further….Mwa ha ha! (Rubs his hands together)
Sam: (absolutely distraught with literal tears running down her face and ruining her mascara.) There is a terrible organization holding their parents hostage. They had been framed and forced to be in Arkham. If they don’t do exactly as they are told, their loved ones are in danger! Should we stay? Should we escape and help them!? No one will believe us and what if we make things worse? We don’t know what to do!
Tucker: (takes a long slurp of a smoothie. Where he got one? No one knows). Yeah we were bored and had nothing better to do than mess with you guys. (Sluuuuurp).
The bats are trying to figure it out. Is the black haired guy telling the truth and the other two are just manipulating them? Is it the girl and the others are only following the plot of the organization? IS THE BARET KID RIGHT AND THEY’RE JUST MESSING WITH US!? WHICH STORY IS IT!?
Under normal circumstances, Sam wouldn’t give a sob story because It’s not really her vibe. But Sam has the opportunity to pull one over on a bat. Do you honestly think she won’t take a chance to mess with them? Also, Dick is the one who is interrogating Sam.
He’s crying too by the end of the story.
Poor guy, Sam will play his heart like a fiddle. 
Also, their fake identities are Jordan for Danny. Mortica for Sam (or Macey for short) and Phineas for Tucker. The fact that they are using fake identities is the only thing they all agree on in the interview. But the bats find nothing on them and the identities are so realistic they wonder if they are even fake at all. If the three are faking fake IDs to throw them off their tail from looking deeper. Apparently their ‘parents’ having a missing persons report.
Damian is interrogating Danny. It’s just so easy to rile him up and get under his skin. It’s absolute drama in that interrogation room. 
Danny: ah yessss. Master plan.
Damian: you shall never succeed! Justice shall prevail evil scum!
And Duke is interrogating Tucker. He just…has no idea how to respond to this. He wasn’t trained for this response. Hostile, yes. Mysterious, yes. Scared, yes. Civilian, yes. Even Flirtatious! YES! But not…this. What does he do? should he take out his note cards?
Also, I’m adding a mix of home alone elements to this. They have to get past the bats somehow and it can’t be lethal. Poor Jason and Steph who are patrolling the halls fall victim to most of this.
At one point, both of them are tied up together and hanging from the ceiling. While the trio just casually walk by under them. 
It’s dental floss. Really strong dental floss.
Then the bats start taking sides. 
Jason? once he hears Sam's story, he's immediately willing to help her. He and Dick are searching for that missing person's report almost religiously.
Tim believes Danny's story. part of it is because it makes the most sense, and the other part is that he's slightly biased from becoming an evil megalomaniac in every timeline he's seen so he's subconsciously trying to stop that from happening here.
Cass believes Tucker because come on, it's Cass.
Steph is siding with Tim because her father was cluemaster so same reasons.
Bruce is trying to fact check all of them and is failing desperately.
Sam added some ‘clues’ in her interrogation and basically threw the GIW under the bus as the organization. So the bats do find a shady organization but so far no missing persons so the other bats still don’t know if what Sam is saying is true or not while Dick takes this as absolute proof and Jason feels like it doesn’t matter if she’s telling the truth at this point. It’s a corrupt organization. So he’ll still blow it up.
I think in this AU, the GIW isn’t a threat and more of an annoyance so Sam just plays them up as even worse. Like, she doesn’t say anything untrue just makes it sound worse out of context. Oh yeah, they opened fire on this random kid. (Gregory when they thought he was phantom) Oh yes, they have destroyed Danny’s house at one point. (The prank war with Vlad) Yes, the have an unhealthy obsession with dissecting people. (Even though they are too incompetent to actually catch anyone).
So again, they don’t know if Sam is telling the truth of the organization or they just used this random organization to draw their attention away from the three’s plans (as Danny implied). Possibly an enemy organization or a competitor.
I know everyone makes the GIW a big threat but I decided to change it up. They aren’t a threat but still get obliterated by a pissed off Red Hood and Nightwing.
And that’s  another reason why Sam gives the sob story. Danny and Tucker are great but they wouldn’t actually sick a crime lord on the GIW. Sam? Absolutely would. She does not care what happens to them. They tore up her garden one time with a stray shot. She wants revenge. And sure, she didn’t actually know what would happen to them after the bats find out but she still doesn’t care.
And through all of this, the rogues are sitting back and eating popcorn while Joker screams bloody murder from his cell. 
#Dpxdc#dcxdp#Kizzer55555 ideas#Sam Danny and Tucker are chaos gremlins. Correction. BORED chaos gremlins. The most frightening of all.#The GIW are not a threat but Sam still decides to mess with them.#Danny is having too much fun messing with Damian. He wants to see how far he can push the baby bat.#At one point he even sets up a scavenger hunt with ‘clues’ that makes Robin run all around Arkham convinced Danny had placed some kind of#Hidden weapon there. It was a whoopy cushion.#Poor Dick is getting played. He’s trying very hard to calm Damian down because that poor Jordan kid is just trying his best!#He has no Choice!#Jordan is now Damian’s life long nemesis.#Duke and Tucker sitting in a room. Slurping slushees…..awkward silence.#They can hear screams of rage from one room and hysterical sobbing in the other. ‘Phineas’ looks at Signal. “Sup”#The trio home alone the entire prison. Then cut the lights. Everyone is convinced they escaped again and start running around and getting#Caught in traps. Meanwhile. Sam and Tucker just broke into Danny’s cell to play Uno. It was game night! They don’t break out on game night!#By morning the entire prison is filled with shaving cream. Glitter bombs. All of the guards are caught in toilet paper like mummies or#Stuck in the vents. Steph and Tim are somehow caught in a life size Chinese finger trap made of pillowcases. Jason is knocked out by the#Ketchup bombs (curtesy of a favor from condiment king). The monitor room looks like an egg apocalypse. Damian is screaming from where#He got trapped in an empty cell. There is an ominous pole in the courtyard with a decapitated teddy bear head impaled on top.#And batman’s suit has been dyed pink.#Technically the trio COULD walk out of here at this point. But they were having game night! They weren’t even trying this time!#It doesn’t count unless they are trying! So they walked back into their cells and close it on themselves. Danny’s cell is right across from#The still locked up Robin who is glaring MURDER at him.#‘Jordan’ winks.
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perilegs · 3 months ago
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my sweet little baby man is no longer with us
#he had his bloodwork done yesterday and the vet said it was fine but he doesnt have much time left#and my bestie is a vet tech who wanted to see the lab results bc she always does and she looked at them#and asked me if she can shiw them to her boss today and i was like sure and immediately knew something was up#today keekki was being himself#then i went to run some errands and when i came back he was laying in front of the front door with his tiny baby head against it#and i was like ''oh ok one of his seizures?''#and theyre like. keekki will drool and not move and they usually last for like 20 minutes (several vets have no idea whats up with those#but it was probably either a kidney or a blood pressure thing)#anyways. it did not pass in 20 minutes so i Knew#i laid on the floor next to him#then my bff sent me a message asking me if i have the time to talk about keekki and its not good news#at this point i was about to call the vet anyways#and she was like ''ok i showed these to my boss (a vet) and she got super angry that ur vet even let you leave the clinic''#bc apparently keekkis bloodwork was so bad he should have been put down then and there but my vet was like a fresh half graduate#so i dont hold it against her. anyways i got an euthanasia appointment for this evening and spent the time before it laying on the couch#crying with keekki in my arms#i had to carry him bc he couldnt really walk without stumbling and falling down#when i had to get up to get his carrier and stuff ready he was taking a nap on the couch where i left him and i took this pic#anyways worst vet visit of my life i could hardly even do anything but nod half the time bc speaking results in me sobbing#anyways. this fucking sucks#i dont know how ill be able to sleep tonight#its been years since i last slept at home without having a little guy plop into my arms#i spent a long time with him in the vet room when he was gone#it feels surreal ive given him his last ever forehead kisses#as i left the room i told him bye the exact same way ive been saying bye to him for the last very many years ive had him#its always moikka keekki before i go to work or the store or literally anything#and that was my last moikka keekki#i hope he felt how loved he was#my dad is sending me older pics of me and keekki and he looks so happy in them. hes always right next to me#idk man im going to stop rambling now
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harmonizewithechoes · 3 months ago
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My five year old has his very first day of kindergarten tomorrow 🥺🥺🥺 I didn’t expect to be hit with such a huge wave of emotions but I’ve been a WRECK all day
#personal#he’s so excited#we’ve been talking about school for so long and he’s so excited that it’s finally here!#and a little nervous too he said but he keeps asking about the other kids and if he gets to have lots of friends now#he really liked his teacher when he met her and he’s excited to see her#the only thing that tripped him up a little was when I told him that me and his daddy are bringing him to the school but we can’t go with#that he has to just listen to his teacher and we’ll see him after school 🥺#I’m mostly worried that he’s not going to get enough food at school because he doesn’t eat very fast at home#he doesn’t focus well on meals#I’m hoping that positive peer pressure helps him with that#if he sees the other kids eating he will hopefully follow their lead#he’s going to be taking the bus home as well and I’m nervous about that for him too#even though it’s silly because his bus will pick him up in the morning and bring him directly to the school and then drop him off first#after school#he’ll be on it for maybe 20 minutes each day#I just worry too much#i worry about how issues he might have that I can’t help with like what if it’s too cold in just one room#but I don’t know that and send him in shorts?#or what if he gets teased for things I can’t anticipate right now? how can I best set him up for success with his peers?#I only know what he likes not what other five year olds like#I don’t want him to feel like the odd one out#but maybe that’s inevitable at some point#I can’t protect him from the world if im not there 😔#that’s the hardest thing about it#obviously this is supposed to happen and school will be so good for him#but he was a tiny little baby just yesterday#at least that’s how it feels#they say it goes by fast but damn
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politemagic · 2 months ago
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feeling soft and mushy about one sgt. kyle "gaz" garrick on this day
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skinreflectsthesun · 10 months ago
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twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat · 6 months ago
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oh oh and sugu in formal clothing... i'm so nsjsbdjjdjsjd. like you mentioned comfort is definitely a priority for him! so nothing too fancy, maybe a pair of slacks that are. a little tight on the waist and the Ahem.. a thick (black) button down paired with a worn out leather belt... which feels So sugu to me in every way. AND OF COURSE THE TOP FEW BUTTONS ARE UNDONE
i feel so crazy the way i need him he's so effortlessly handsome and cool. imagine getting ready with him, brushing and tying his hair (he trusts your judgement more than his own! he'll let you handle his precious beautiful long hair because he trusts you soooo much :(() maybe he helps you put on perfume/cologne. and gives you a dozen too many kisses while he's at it I PROMISE IM SO NORMAL ABOUT GETO SUGURU!!!!!!!!!!!
and ending the day with him... tbh i always think suguru is the perfect person to end the day with or lay down or... he's just so comforting and calm and you can absolutely feel at peace just hearing him near you! i can totally see like... both of you passing out on the bed before changing or showering and just finding your way into each other's arms, because who can resist home?
gah sorry for yapping i'm kind of extremely tired from formal event myself... always has me thinking... what if.. what... Geto BUTi'm making myself sick. i've caught the suguru virus and i'm severely ill... the little mice in my brain.. cannot tell if they are happy or sad
from 🌖 anon! ^ ^
ANOTHER 🌖 ANON ASK HEHE it’s my lucky day <333333 THIS MADE ME SO INSANE BTW…
PHEWWWWWWW SUGU IN FORMAL CLOTHING be still my beating heart ……… YOUR DESCRIPTION MADE ME FEEL SO VERY ILLLLL THE TIGHT WAIST??? THE BELT????? COUPLE BUTTONS UNDONE??????? 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 you’re trying to kill me…. i KNOW you are…….. no bc you’re so objectively correct it’s crazy . he’s just. classy and comfortable. he doesn’t even need to Try.
he looks so fucking good in a suit it’s insane ……. LOOK AT HIMMM
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sick sick man . he’s so pretty . :(((((
AND PLSSSSS THE WAY OUR BRAINS R SO LINKED 😭😭😭😭 me seeing this right after yapping abt how suguru trusts you w his hair in the last ask you sent …… real recognizes real 🫡🫡 NO BC THAT CONCEPT IS SOOO SICKENINGLY SWEET you’re making me yearn for him so hard yk… getting ready w him…… and him trusting your judgement 🥺🥺 honestly sugu strikes me as the kinda bf who’d wear something he didn’t really like just bc you picked it out for him. bc he only really cares about your judgement anyway!!!! might bully you a little but . he does so lovingly <333 and still wears it proudly <33333 bc his baby picked it out just for him……..
OKAY STOP we’re getting too close to me. melting through the floorboards 😭😭 WAHH he’s just such a sweetie…… AND HIM HELPING YOU PUT ON PERFUME/COLOGNE 🥺🥺🥺 he would kiss you so many times it’s crazy…. and i think he uses the opportunity as an excuse to sniff your neck LMAOO. he’s so sly. ”want me to check if it smells okay? :)” <- he just wants to bury his nose into your neck and inhale your scent,… but he can’t do it unless he has a Reason bc he doesn’t want to come off as weird. (satoru on the other hand has no shame and will sniff you randomly and incessantly <333 he just loves your natural scent sm. freak.)
AND THEN . ending the day w him 🥺🥺🥺 ohhhh 🌖 anon you know the way to my heart……… you really really do………… i agree completely :’3 he’s the perfect person to relax and unwind with. helps you shower or take off your makeup if you wear any…. lets you take care of him if you want bc he can’t say no to you and your soft hands…….. and then curling up next to you under the covers and tucking you into his chest. ”because who can resist home?” <- I GENUINELY CRIED I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY :((((( this line reached through my screen and turned my heart into mush…….. who can resist home:(((((((( have you considered a career in poetry my sweet anon. bc i’d gladly read it. he’s your home!!! and you’re his!!!!!
sniffleeeee i feel so sappy today T_T i love him…. and i love you……. never apologize for yapping i love hearing you yap and forcing you to listen to me yap in return <33333 we’re making the sugu brainrot worse for each other aren’t we…… AND PLSS THE MICE IN YOUR BRAIN 😭😭 i hope they’re okay. mine definitely aren’t. terminally ill….. the only cure is suguru geto jjk….. sniffle……….
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amomentpassed · 1 month ago
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i genuinely have not stopped thinking about the very real dream i had last night lol
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leslieseveride · 10 months ago
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actual visual representation of me decaying in bed all day due to those bts pics of lucy in the hospital.
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theloveinc · 2 years ago
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ur post made me think of baby smell /pos
(my post here!)
the /pos is killing me but BABY SMELLLLLLL OMG, YOU'RE SO RIGHT!! who doesn't love baby smell??? Bakugo absolutely included.
so funny to think about him (barbarian or not)... sitting around w/ baby on his bare chest, just... inhaling for as long as you'll let him. eyes all closed and relaxed, baby smiling... it's cute but you know his REAL agenda: sniffing up as many of those good fumes as possible.
gotta grab your baby back before they forget all about u and start smelling stinky like grown man musk + meat instead of sweet, sweet baby candy.
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robocracker · 1 year ago
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me, a mere hour ago: oh boy, i can't wait to watch season two of sweet home!
me, after watching s2e1 of sweet home:
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halinski · 1 year ago
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narutomaki · 7 months ago
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get me OUT OF HERE
#this is about fucking. shipping. fucking orochimaru. get out of this polycule all of you shoo!!! go!!!!#STOP HAVING BABIES AND BEING HAPPY AND GOOEY!!!! STOP!!!!!! YOURE RUINING ME!!!!!!!!!#the fucked up little version of Obito ive made tho and his fucked up little niche of functionally immortal reincarnated body sharing#its like ive made him cat nip for Orochimaru. i was JOKING INITIALLY RIGHT??? I WAS LIKE#HAHA OROBITO HAHA HA HA HAAA FUCKING HELP MR#IM IJ HERE NOW LIKE OH YEAH AND GENE SPLICING IS SOMETHING OROCHIMARU HAS EXPERIENCE IN#AND GIVING HIM THIS AS A HEALYHY OUYLET AND MAKING HIM A MOTHER IN ONE FELL SWOOP#Obito has like 15 kids by the time Miho is created so shes not going yo be his heir (his heirs mother was an Uzumaki he hit it off with and#asked to have a kid with young (17) so shes 14 by the time the main series begins)#any way. Kakuzu being like ok you can have a chold under this roof but i will not be responsible in any way for it#and then holding Miho exactly once and going like 'oh i get why mothers die for their babies now'#Kisame takes the longest to warm up to her which surprises him bcus he gets along well with the rest of Obitos children#(Obito is like well. fuck you guys. Uchiha clan in Ame time and offers people contracts like in situations of fertility he adopts the mother#and father into his clan and turkey basters it (okay no he does send them to the hospitla but) and otherwise offers#a home a name etc for agreeing to join as either a civilian clan member or to have a child of his and some of the#second parents are like oh fuck yeah i want a kid but not a relationship/my husband is infertile/whatever and raise the child#as their own with very lityle input from Obito but some Obito has raised / was raising essentially on his own (such as his heir whos mother#didnt want to be in a relationship with Obito but wanted to test out motherhood and found she Could Not Do It and is now#more of an estranged aunt figure but 14 y/o doesnt have much bad blood about it bcus she has The Scariest Step Dad squad and#is 1000% creepy teen girl coded and it gets validated in sooo many capacities. cant do unethical experiments on mice when one of your step#fathers can bring you into the lab and teach you how to actually do the work and deal with an ethics commity that yes we have to#otherwise your father gives us the neutral but disappointed face)#ANY WAY#CAN YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN ?? LET ME THE FUCK OUT!!! LET ME OUY LET ME OUT HELP SOMEONES FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUC
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the-ferocious-kittyrose · 11 days ago
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Simon gets a message from reader while he’s on base. It’s a video. The thumbnail looks like a blurred image of a store isle
Once he has a moment to himself, he’s able to sit back and finally check out what you had sent.
The camera pans down to show yours and simon’s two year old daughter. She has half a mini chocolate muffin clutched in her little baby fist and chocolate smudges on her nose and bright pink cheeks. She’s standing, staring at something out of frame.
The camera is a bit shaky and Simon can hear you trying desperately to hide your laughter.
“Baby,” you say, “baby, look at me.” You bend down to bring the camera closer to your daughter, who only turns to look at you for a second before going back to staring at the same spot out of frame.
“Who is that?”
Your daughter raised one of her chocolate covered hands to point towards whatever it was that had been captivating her the entire video. “Daddy.”
Simon here’s more of your pained stifled laughter and the camera follows your daughter’s gaze, revealing a cheaply made Halloween grim reaper statue, with dusty purple robes, a plastic scythe, and a hilariously misshapen skull face.
He reads the accompanying texts that had followed the video.
[She just started saying “daddy daddy” over and over and it took me forever to figure out what she was talking about]
[for a second I thought, “oh is he here?”]
[Im so dense lol]
[she really misses you ]
[I miss you too]
The next text was a picture of your daughter fast asleep in her car seat. Now cleaned of chocolate, she had replaced her muffin with a giant plastic rat that she hugged to her chest like a teddy bear.
[she refused to leave without it]
Simon smiles. It had been a long time since he had a family. People who loved waiting for him to come home.
Your texts had been sent hours ago, and he felt bad about not responding all day.
[that’s unfair. My mask is made of much better materials]
[I miss you both too. If everything goes right I should be home by Monday]
[and don’t call yourself dense]
Simon thinks for a moment, something eating at him about that video
[I wish she didn’t know about the mask. I don’t want her to see me that way]
You respond quickly, making Simon feel worse about his delayed reply
[Dont worry about that honey. She’s only two, and I think she only saw you wear in mask once once or twice. She’ll forget in a month.]
[She doesn’t see you as anything other than her daddy]
[her daddy and her jungle gym]
[lol yes that too]
[Im sorry I don’t have a lot of time. I’ll try and call you tomorrow]
[ok Im heading to bed now anyway]
[goodnight I love you ❤️]
[goodnight I love you too ❤️]
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