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feng-shui71 · 1 month ago

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soo since i love your content i wanna ask more ask's muhahaha>:D in all seriousness, how is Jordan's relationship with Chris (or the other S.T.A.R.S members in that case) like i figured that Chris wont be glad after finding out his traitor of an captain is married to his friend/comrade

Ohhh!!! I love asks like these yes yes

Formatted in headcanons because I didn’t feel like writing paragraphs, just thinking of it is giving me a headache. Includes every single S.T.A.R.S. member from Alpha and Bravo team, the rest is under the cut. The lesser known members don’t have a lot of information though and some of them are a bit short because I didn’t know what else to write.

ALPHA TEAM

Albert Wesker:

Not going to put much on these two and their dynamic since I can’t shut the fuck up about them but I’ll drop a few S.T.A.R.S. era tidbits.

Married, however nobody on the force knows except for Irons, Barry and Jordan’s twin, Jaiden. Irons is their employer so he’s obligated to know, and he’s not stupid he could see it. However with Barry, Jordan accidentally let it slip one time and had to make that man swear to secrecy. He regularly teases the two about it.

Guy does NOT play favourites at all which pisses Jordan off. He’s actually way harder on her than the rest of S.T.A.R.S. and expects the best from her, god forbid she hands in a report past the deadline because he’s going to be very pissed. Very firm believer in keeping work and personal life seperate.

When he’s stressed he likes to call her into his office, blinds shut and sunglasses taken off as he holds her. Face buried in the crook of her neck to try to ease the aching migraine that seeningly never goes away. Probably because you got 2 jobs bro.

Speaking of his office they fuck in there all the time sorry

Wesker initially never intended to harm Jordan during the mansion incident and originally was going to try to keep her away from his plans until they were carried out, taking her with him. This obviously failed and Jordan caught onto his true nature because of that one Umbrella researchers photo, confronting him in his lab. Chris was supposed to see those, to confront him, not her. It was foolish of him to bring her. To improvise, he shot her instead and was planning to bring her body with him, infecting her with Progenitor to ensure her safety + turn her into a superhuman like him. Unfortunately the surviving S.T.A.R.S. crew brought her with them so he couldn’t even do that. (Sorry if this bit is wonky, I’m still working on their Re1 lore)

Friendship scale is womp womp an 8/10. Wesker lies far too much to her and manipulates Jordan regularly, scale is nowhere near a 10/10 because of it. Don't get me wrong they have good chemistry and love eachother but y'neow, it's Wesker. No relationship with him is exempt from being toxic.

Chris Redfield:

They’re pretty close I think, she appreciates Chris’ rebellious spirit and honestly just sees a lot of her younger self in him. Chris thinks she’s cool, like an older sister or “girl next door” type and has no clue why a prude like Wesker is so close with her. Little does he know ..

He definitely pisses her off a ton though LMAO he’s so stupid.

I think sometimes it gets a little awkward because she’s like .. 11 years older than him. So some of the dumb shit he says goes over her head and some of the dumb shit she says makes him cringe a little. They get along nonetheless.

“You like Billie Holiday?”

“.. Oh, yeah, yeah sure I love him!”

“… Dude..”

Wesker ABSOLUTELY despises their relationship and does not like how close Chris is to her. He barely voices it, however a common thing he does is bring up negative things about Chris in hopes to deter her from interacting with him. Yeah, he’s controlling. Jordan does get weirded out if, say for example, he brings up a misogynistic remark that Chris said, but she gets over it after a day.

A lot of common interests, they both love Queen! I like to think that if either of them need a smoke they go to eachother since they’re both avid smokers. Smoked weed on the job one time and Wesker had to hose them both down because the office reeked of Alaskan Thunder Fuck.

I think after the Arklay Incident Chris was suspicious of Jordan because of her affiliation with Wesker however this skepticism dies down after he realizes she was also a victim of Wesker’s plans. (cough.. cough. shot.) Alongside this, Jordan vehemently denied knowing anything regarding Wesker’s double life and shared Chris’ intense feelings of resentment and hatred towards the man after Arklay. Chris is sympathetic of Jordan, she felt used and disgusted with herself considering how long she’d been with him, how much of it all was a lie? she fell in love with a facade, a fake constructed persona, hell, did he even love her? spends a lot of his time comforting her and keeping her company because of it.

This sympathy doesn’t last for long though, after Re4 and especially post-Re5 this guy is so sick of her ass for going back to Wesker time after time, he understands Jordan loves him to the point of it being unconditional, which is why she always runs back to him but come onnnn. Girl if you don’t get your ass back here I will smack the shit out of you. Their relationship is definitely strained at this point, tons of resentment between the two. I cover Chris’ feelings about this in this ask.

You guys got a friend where they have a toxic relationship and always go to you for advice but never listen? you tell them the exact same thing every time but don’t go through with it anyway? Yeah that’s Jordan to Chris. She’s the problem here.

"I miss him"

"Shut the fuck up"

They love eachother though.

Jordan thinks Re8 Chris is cute but you will never get this out of her ever especially since she feels guilty about Wesker’s death still. He is rolling over in that volcano everytime that thought crosses her mind. She will never act on this though, widowed Jordan is real.

Friendship scale sat at a 9/10 during Re1. Anything beyond Re4 is extremely strained and sits at a 6/10. Too much resentment.

Jill Valentine:

Uhmmm definitely not as close as Barry and Chris however they are friends, yeah. Her, Jordan and Rebecca stick together at RPD since they’re all women, they try to look out for eachother and talk to one another often. Jordan is definitely close to Jill than she is Rebecca though.

Jordan sees Jill as a bad ass little sister that needs to get her ass whooped sometimes, however Jill doesn’t make Jordan mad to the point of crashing out unlike someone. (Chris) It’s kind of just a mild annoyance like she’ll sigh really heavy if Jill does something stupid.

They definitely gossip a ton though, Jill pulls Jordan aside and rants about whatever is on her mind at the moment, whether it be a guy or something Chris did earlier that day. Literally world’s biggest haters god forbid you wear a terrible outfit around them they are pointing and laughing at you to the point of snorting and wheezing. Brad is a common victim.

She is definitely super sus of Jordan and Wesker and thinks they’re friends with benefits, interrogates Jordan on it regularly and asks her why she’s so close with the Captain. This is a mild accusation though I think Jordan gets flack regularly at the office because of her affiliation with Wesker, a common one is that she “slept to the top hence her position at S.T.A.R.S”

Uhhhmm besides that though I think their friendship is mainly confined to RPD, I don’t think they go out a ton besides the S.T.A.R.S. troupes occasional bar runs. I think either her or Annette would be Jordan’s girl best friends but i’m not sure !

Their friendship is pretty good! I'd say it's around a 7/10

Barry Burton:

These two have the cops from Superbad dynamic. Barry is the Seth Rogan cop and Jordan is the Bill Hader cop. You can't tell me Barry doesn't have the Seth Rogan laugh because he does I mean just look at him. (Jackie and Jordan have this exact same dynamic too)

Cue these two doing donuts in an empty parking lot in their cruiser.

God forbid you catch either of them hungry I think both of them could clear a buffet in like 30 mins tops and they would still be starving. Barry brought her a whole rack of ribs one time while he was barbecuing and it moved her to tears. These two are fat as hell sorry.

Speaking of food I think Barry invites her and their family over when he’s throwing anything, Wesker would rather not but Jordan convinces him every single time. Guy just wants to go home but is forced to be social for hours, I think Barry and the rest of the neighborhood dads kidnap him though and keep Wesker with them, he has no idea what to talk about until cars are brought up and he uses the opportunity to brag about the Porsche he splurged on.

Hands down Jordan’s best friend from S.T.A.R.S. (if we aren’t including Jaiden, Wesker or Silna’s OC, Jackie)

Due to their closeless I think their children are close too. Mainly Junior and Moira, both rebellious little shits who resent their fathers, perfect combo.

Friendship scale sits at a 9/10. Practically family.

Joseph Frost:

Not as close as Jaiden is to him but yeah they’re cool I think.

Honestly I think the Forest, Chris and Joseph trio are all cool with Jordan and Jaiden since all of them are mischievous shitheads who like to cause trouble and have fun while on the job. Jordan doesn’t really join them as often as Jaiden does though. Irons HATES all of them with a passion

“Are you wearing a durag?”

“???? No???”

I think if they got into an argument it’d be the worst thing ever to deal with, both Joseph and Jordan are crashouts due to their temper so they’d 100% be at eachothers throats trying to kill each other. Joseph throws a paper airplane at Jordan’s head, Jordan retaliates by picking up one of the tables in the breakroom and hurling it at the poor guy’s head. Fortunately, Jordan has Wesker to ground her so this doesn’t happen a lot.

Also another reason as to why they never really fought is because they both have that very chipper, humorous and optimistic attitude.

I remember seeing somewhere that his nickname was “Frosty”, I like to think it’s because both Jordan and Joseph’s nicknames were “Joe” within the team so to avoid confusion, Joseph was coined the nickname “Frosty” and Jordan was “Jords”.

6/10 friendship, they're cool with eachother but she flocks more towards the other S.T.A.R.S. members.

Brad Vickers:

Mannnn he is the Family Guy Meg of the friendgroup god bless his soul Jordan thinks it’s funny to make fun of him LMAO

I think she’s like.. okay with him but I don’t think they’re friends, more of acquaintances if anything. Some of the shit he says pisses her off and honestly I don't think he's too fond of her either, she's mean.

I think she’s wayyy more nicer to him than Jaiden is though this guy is a fucking bully. Brad catches strays in every single argument.

Jaiden: “Bro I’m literally prime Michael Jordan like 91 MJ.”

Jordan: “Nah you’re more like Celtics Shaq”

Jaiden: “Shut up, not even, but you know who is? Brad.”

Brad: “Oh…”

Poor guy gets peer pressured to do shit. Like hey Brad!! go lick that pile of white dog shit. Or like hey Brad !! eat this handful of 300 mg edibles that’ll leave you seeing demons. This guy is always like what.. why me ??? until money is mentioned and he jumps on the opportunity. Easy 60 dollars.

The making fun of Brad jokes have to be funny though otherwise Jordan is just going to stare at you

Like there’s a point.

She respects the fact that he works such a profession with an attitude like his, the fact that he can overcome his cowardice in order to pull a job off. Not a lot of people can do that.

Friendship sits at like a 5/10, poor guy just wants to live in peace.

BRAVO TEAM

Enrico Marini:

Another guy who’s super sus of Wesker and Jordan’s relationship. Like his feelings towards Chris and Barry, I think he was scared that she’d take his position as second in command as well. One of the few guys that conspired that Jordan “slept her way into S.T.A.R.S.”

Besides that though I think they’re on good terms. They’re acquaintances at most I feel, really the only thing that keeps them together is the fact that they’re both close friends with Barry and are part of the same team.

Okay so I think this guy is half Hispanic (Maybe Ecuador) and half Italian, hence the Marini last name. Just wanted to throw that out there sorry he is not white he has a little bit of spice.

I think they spar often when Wesker isn’t in the office, gee I wonder where he went.

Again, this is another individual where Jaiden would be closer to them rather than Jordan, they mainly just coexist. I like to think Jaiden is Enrico's right hand man and helps keep Enrico's attitude optimistic in such a profession, nobody has a clue as to how Enrico is so patient with this guy.

Friendship scale sits at a 3, their friendship is strictly professional however they're on good terms, he just gets uhh, envious.

Rebecca Chambers:

Oh my sweet baby Rebecca I love you

Definitely calls her “Bex” or “Becca” as nicknames.

They're both basketball lovers so they definitely play every so often, I like to think when they take their 15, these two, Jaiden, and a few other S.T.A.R.S. members join them for a few games of ball. Rebecca is capable of some nasty crossovers, absolute demon on the court.

Jaiden accidentally posterized her so bad to where she fell face first once and the entire team was fuming at him LMAO sorry he will not pass up on the opportunity to flex. Other than that he's like an uncle to her.

Similar to Jaiden, Jordan assumes a motherly role towards Rebecca and feels inclined to look after her, especially since she's so young and naive, she knows people like to take advantage of girls like that, the world is corrupt and she'd rather not have Rebeca be affected by it. Jordan knows how it feels to be creeped on and it's disgusting, if Rebecca was ever a victim to that Jordan wouldn't be able to forgive herself.

Before Alpha Team was dispatched to investigate the Spencer Mansion, I think Jordan was terrified that something would happen to her specifically (Besides worrying about Jaiden), Jaiden and the rest of Bravo are more than capable of protecting themselves, however Rebecca is a medic with not a lot of combat experience, hence her concern.

Friendship scale is at a 6/10! I'd say they're friends yes but not that close.

Richard Aiken:

Again, another guy she's acquintances with at most.

She thinks he's really sweet though, pretty nice guy. Very appreciative of how protective he is over Rebecca as well, we all love Becca here.

Felt really bad for his girlfriend, Bridgette, after his death. Jordan thought their relationship was really sweet and super cute, seeing another woman so heartbroken over their lovers death made her feel worse.

Friendship scale sits at a 3/10, she doesn't really know him but they do have mutual respect.

Edward Dewey:

Okay there's not a lot known about this guy in general so this'll be short.

Jordan calls him "Speddie Eddie" she thinks it's funny LMAO

Since dance is a hobby they both share I think they like to indulge in it their spare-time, I can see this big guy b-boying, yeah. It's not a thing that's done often though.

She thinks he's very sweet! nicest member on S.T.A.R.S. by far, I think he was the first person on Bravo team she befriended because of it.

Friendship is 5/10. Sweet guy, but he's just an acquaintance.

Forest Speyer:

This fucking guy

Out of all her homeboys he pisses her off the most by far but I think besides Chris and Barry, Forest's one of her favourites. I like to think he's the worst out of the Chris, Joseph and Forest trio I mean just look at him.

This guy is sooo fucking cocky oh my god, they hangout at the shooting range pretty often because that's literally the only thing Forest is willing to do because he's so good at it. Rubs it in Jordan's face everytime, pretty sizeable ratio going 34-20.

She has to call Chris over to humble him every single time

Him and Jaiden's combined ego is horrible they are both extremely insufferable.

I have a feeling this guy is extremely funny though, like snorting and wheezing levels, humour is a characteristic that Jordan loves so I think that's what draws these two together. Common interests in general like tattoos, I think they both like Ed Hardy.

Friendship scale is around uhmm probably like a 7-8/10. They're pretty friendly with one another and she thinks his cocky attitude is a bit charming, albeit annoying.

Kenneth J. Sullivan:

Ehhh

Not that close but this guy is cool

He seems really nonchalant I think she'd go to him for advice and wisdom considering he's the oldest S.T.A.R.S. member

Ball-ups with him are insane he will drop the deepest statement/speech ever and then act like everything is normal.

Okay considering Jordan's a Filipino and one of our martial arts is knife fighting (One of his strengths) I think they'd spar together often so she could hone her skill since she's kinda meh at it. Helps her with posture and getting accustomed to the ice-pick grip.

Kind of hard on her, he's a perfectionist.

Friendship scale is like uhmm, a 4/10. They're cool but they wouldn't go out of their way to seek eachother out

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daylight-13 · 3 months ago

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#resident evil #s.t.a.r.s.#forest speyer #joseph frost #brad vickers #wesker re1 #chris redfield #rebecca chambers #resident evil 1 #edward dewey #kenneth j sullivan #richard aiken #enrico marini #barry burton

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dalekofchaos · 9 months ago

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RE1 is getting remade for the 30th Anniversary and here's why I support it and what I'd love to see in the RE1RR.

Updated with the next gen graphics in the RE Engine

The plan is obviously to remake RE5, but we need to do Wesker's OTHER big appearances first. I believe we should get the following released in the specific order. 1, 0, then Code Veronica and finally RE5. Cause if you tease RE5 and have Wesker, you should have the three games that featured Wesker before his death in RE5.

The atmosphere and tension of the Spencer Mansion in the new age and basically RE1 meets Village. The visual aesthetic of Village’s Castle Dimitrescu for Spencer Mansion.

Better characterization. Flesh out all the characters. Improve the plot/story.

Chris and Jill’s campaigns to be separate and different, so by the time they meet at the end they’ve both had their own adventure, and you need to play through both to see both sides. Perhaps give Chris the mines and Jill the guard house. Expand the mansion, and when they separate at the start they pick up different keys and access different areas. That way they story would be canon regardless of what happens, and there would be some variety. Also have Rebecca and Richard as playable paths, similar to Sherry and Ada in RE2R.

A playable Wesker mode with him having to move about the mansion and into the lab under a certain amount of time.

Also would like them to keep the REmake music (especially the save room theme), though they could always release a Deluxe Edition like 2R with the OG music too?

Additions. I would be happy with an entire new floor in the Spencer Mansion. Or making the Residence 3x as long. Adding a forest section, either during the opening and/or later in the game. Extended playable sequences for Rebecca and Barry – different locations for each, like how the Orphanage was entirely new for Sherry in 2R. An abandoned greenhouse near the guardhouse with Plant-42 and similar experimentation , an extended cemetery with more tombs, a third floor in Spencer Mansion, more floors in guardhouse, etc.

Making S.T.A.R.S. matter. The game begins at the R.P.D. After picking between Chris and Jill, you make your way from the garage and up into the department proper, crossing paths with various characters referencing the recent cannibal killings and the fact that Alpha and Bravo have been assigned. The walk through the RPD could be intercut with news reports and police banter about what’s been happening. You can interact with the various characters as much or as little as you want en route to the briefing room. Chris and Forrest can talk some trash and reference their apparent contest for top shot. Enrico can be seen helping Rebecca organize her equipment and her nerve. Joseph can be given more personality than being puppy kibble. Marvin can be caught informing Rebecca that she won’t be the rookie in a couple more months. Chief Irons can greet the player with the mask of a competent professional because his mind was still intact. Hell, perhaps we can even catch a glimpse of whatever act Wesker put on for the two years that made these people trust him. Wesker and Enrico would then host the briefing that will send them into mountains, still treating this like they think the suspects are hill people or whatever, culminating in Bravo Team taking point while Alpha Team remains behind. There could be some more small talk or some kinda time lapse before Richard makes contact in a panic before communications break down. Alpha Team immediately preps and heads out, complete with changing clothes in the locker room and gearing up. The player will actually play the search through the woods, discover the crashed helicopter, and play through the mad chase to the mansion where the game as we know it begins.

Throw the players off by changing the keys and rooms

Zombies, Crimson Heads and every other BOW in the first game

Defense weapons and head stomping

Lisa Trevor(she could work like as a stalker enemy)

Same notes, but add in some new ones

All the puzzles, but mix it up

Just give us “One more second and you were ALMOST A JILL SANWICH” let Barry be the cheesy bastard that we know him to be

Stick with the REVIll face model for Chris, but younger and less steroids. Like how many faces can he wear?????

Stick with the RE3R face model for Jill, but don’t let it look like she just got out of being dipped in the sewer

Include Zero as DLC. My pitch of a RE0R. But the main requirement for RE1 is for Rebecca to NOT be cowering in the corner. Rebecca CANNOT be in the corner cowering from a Hunter when she is more than capable. A simple scream of surprise, but when we reach Rebecca, we see that she's perfectly fine

Bonus costumes For Chris:Made In Heaven outfit, BSAA outfit, CVX STARS outfit For Jill:RE3 original and Remake, BSAA, RE:Resistance, and RE5 Battle Suit.

And finally getting what we never got in the original or the 2002 remake. The ending that has Chris, Jill, Rebecca and Barry in the chopper. So my big idea to make this happen is this. If we play as Jill, Chris makes it to the mansion with us. Jill and Barry go and investigate, while Chris and Wesker are outside. They vanish. Richard will mention that Rebecca Chambers left the mansion after hearing Brad’s radio and went to get help. We will later see Rebecca in the cell with Chris in Jill’s story. For Chris’ story, Barry makes it to the Mansion. Chris investigates the gunshot while Wesker will say they will split up and investigate the Mansion and everyone vanishes. Later in the game before we get to the lab, there would be a dropped Barry’s photograph. Later when we get to the cell, Barry will be in the cell with Jill. Barry apologizes to Chris for what he’s done and Chris understands why he did what he did and he can help make things right. Ultimately in both playthroughs, all 4 S.T.A.R.S. members work together to fight the Tyrant until ultimately Chris or Jill destroys the Tyrant with the rocket launcher. It ends with all 4 members escaping in the chopper as the Mansion explodes.

#Resident Evil #Resident Evil 1 #Resident Evil Remake #Chris Redfield #Jill Valentine #Valenfield #Albert Wesker #Barry Burton #Rebecca Chambers #S.T.A.R.S.#STARS #Richard Aiken #Enrico Marini #Brad Vickers #Lisa Trevor #Edward Dewey #Joseph Frost #Forest Speyer #Kenneth J Sullivan

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chrisitsraining · 11 months ago

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stars!!!

resident evil official comic book magazine 01 (1998)

#didnt include barry and wesker #cuz they didnt get cool jpg panels #and edward wasnt there at all ofc #dumdum hours #enrico marini #richard aiken #rebecca chambers #forest speyer #kenneth j sullivan #chris redfield #jill valentine #joseph frost #brad vickers #resident evil 1 #resident evil 1996 #comic panels

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onbehalfovenus · 2 years ago

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I made a comprehensive infographic about the different skills of the STARS members that vary from expectable to utterly wild. Some of the characteristics of these people make me all the more feral for a game about them being alive and well and working together and Raccoon City.

#resident evil #albert wesker #jill valentine #chris redfield #special tactics and rescue squad #forest speyer #joseph frost #enrico marini #barry burton #rebecca chambers #Richard Aiken #kenneth j sullivan #Edward Dewey #brad vickers #s.t.a.r.s.#special tactics and rescue service #resident evil 1 #resident evil remake #resident evil 0

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savage-rhi · 8 months ago

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Wesker: Redfield, our instruments measured that you were driving 100 mph in one of STARS jeeps.

Chris: sorry captain, but the speed limit does not apply when the free bird solo comes on.

@rebelwithoutaclock Coming up! To read the other STARS shenanigans drabbles, here they are 1, 2, 3,

"Alright everyone, gather around. Let's make this mid-week huddle a quick one," Wesker hollered, gesturing with his right hand for everyone in the STARs unit to come into the meeting room.

He took off his shades, rubbing his eyes while mentally bracing himself. Between his nefarious obligations to Umbrella and trying to run a police department, he could feel the exhaustion creeping in. A wave of regret pooled in the back of his subconscious, wishing he had the foresight years ago to not work two jobs. Alas, he made his bed and had to lie in it. That didn't mean he didn't have an intrusive thought or two about cleaning up shop as far as the RPD was concerned, especially with the shenanigans the STARs team in particular pulled.

For being the best, they sure aren't the brightest...he thought as he made himself comfortable in front of the podium, watching the team members take their usual seats. He put his glasses back on and cleared his throat.

"First thing on the agenda is the lightsaber incident," Wesker couldn't believe he was saying this aloud and shook his head. "Mr. Vickers, when you're on patrol and see a group of teens reenacting a movie scene, that doesn't mean you stop your vehicle and join them. Especially when you're in the middle of an investigation. Might I add the delay in your scheduled flight with Mr. Sullivan made it so Ms. Chambers took one for the team and covered your ass."

Quiet snickers filled the room as Brad's face blushed. He wanted to shrink into a puddle and disappear, wondering who ratted him out. All he could do was meekly reply, "Y-yes sir…I'm sorry. It won't happen again."

"Good," Wesker stated. He ignored the fact that Rebecca herself patted Brad's knee and whispered 'it was alright,' too focused on Chris, who was unable to keep a straight face compared to his colleagues. "Redfield, earlier this week our instruments measured that you were driving a hundred miles per hour in one of our STARS jeeps. Care to explain?"

Jill and Barry, sitting on either side of Chris, quietly chuckled at Chris's expense, earning a quick glare from him before he forced himself to look at Wesker.

"Sorry, captain," Chris coughed. "But the speed limit does not apply when the 'Free Bird' solo comes on."

Barry and Jill bowed their heads in front of the table, their shoulders quaking as they tried to hold back their laughs. Even members of the Bravo team were having difficulty keeping it together at the visual alone.

"You know what else doesn't apply, Redfield?" Wesker asked as a matter of fact.

"I don't know, sir," Chris gestured. "Enlighten me."

"The time-off request you submitted last week. Consider it tabled for insubordination."

"Son of a bitch…!" Chris whispered harshly under his breath.

"And while we are on the subject of cars, Ms. Valentine and Mr. Burton, I'm putting you both on vehicle suspension for the remainder of the week."

"What, why!?" Jill exclaimed.

"But sir--!"

Wesker held up a hand, interrupting their protests. "I doubt Redfield was able to come up with the 'Free Bird' bit on his lonesome. The man is full of colorful ideas, but you two are well known for encouraging him to see it through."

"Shit…"

"Fuck, he got us there," Barry muttered to Jill.

"Mr. Frost," Wesker let out a deep sigh for this one as he once again took off his glasses to rub his eyes. "While you are out on patrol, you can't go around with chalk outlining cars and trucks that don't park within the lines in a parking lot or park to the curb exactly with an exclamation of 'asshole parking' and proceed to ticket."

"But it's a good warning system!" Joseph glared and shrugged. "If they can't parallel park for shit, then they had it coming! If you would've put me on another assignment instead of having me play meter boy, we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

"Mr. Frost, get over yourself," Wesker growled. "I know you're angered that I set you on this task, but need I remind you what the alternative would've been?"

"All because I started the whole 'Wesker shits standing up' bit? Man, you need to take a joke!"

"Enough!" Wesker raised his voice. Whatever was left of the chuckles and laughs ceased immediately. He felt a sense of pride rise in his body as well as his blood pressure, and let out a deep breath. "Alright people, let's take five, and we'll meet back here to cover the recent cannibal attacks."

As the STARs Alpha and Bravo teams single filed out of the room, Wesker thought he had a moment of peace until he heard Joseph holler:

"I still stand by what I said, Wesker shits standing up everyone!"

Wesker made a fist, his teeth clenched.

The thought of siccing a pack of Cerberus onto the man was beginning to sound more and more delicious with each passing minute. He smirked to himself, riding on the high from the visuals that came and went through his mind of Joseph being ripped apart.

Maybe Birkin and I can brainstorm later…

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